Hell Hath No Fury
by Chronicleofabutterfly
Summary: Detectives defy the NYPD in search of their Son and his kidnapper, will one detective go too far and loose everything, or will their marriage sustain them as Olivia's past seeks to dystroy their future one last time.
1. Chapter 1 Thanks For Last Night

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 1: Thanks For Last Night

A/N: Last Installment to the Redeeming Olivia rated T but will occasionally go higher, if you're not eighteen, you know the drill. I don't own anything related to SVU, so go ahead and try to sue me…I got nothing. If you haven't read Redeeming Olivia, When I Lay My Baby Down or Divided We Fall, this will be about as frustrating as Benson and Stablers current inability to work together on the show. Enjoy and thanks for flying Chronicleofabutterfly.

She couldn't breath, she was certain she would die from lack of oxygen but she pushed herself to keep running, she thought the house was only a couple of hundred yards to the south, but she'd been running hard, running because she knew that even though she couldn't see the man that was chasing her, he was going to kill her if he caught up with her.

She leaped over the log only to have her bare foot catch on a limb from the ground falling to her face, her gun digging into her hip. She found it odd that she was wearing it, but she didn't want to stop and hide, even though the cop within her told her that was the best course of action, to stop, hide, and shoot the man that broke into her home while she was napping and chased her outside, down the country street and into the woods where she thought she was trailing back to the house, but the more she looked at he scenery, the denser the trees became; she knew she was heading in the wrong direction, and the crackling and snapping of the foot steps behind her told her she needed to get up out of the mud and run harder.

She stood, just in time to feel a hand grab a fist full of her hair and shove her back into the ground, stomping a foot into the small of her back causing her to scream out in agony, she rolled over onto her throbbing back, felt the coolness of the mud seep into her as she reached for her gun only to find that somewhere between falling and being shoved down again, it had become unholstered.

Her eyes widened in horror as he brought his foot up again to stomp her belly, "NO!" She barked instantly curling into a ball to protect her abdomen, feeling the boot collide with her rib cage the unmistakable sound of bones snapping from the pressure. She reached for anything to protect herself, her baby; her hands trailed through the mud, colliding only with rocks and pebbles. She felt the boot again, making contact with her shoulder and then all she could fell was the hand holding her face into the mud.

He body mustered all of its energy to fight back, to somehow manage to get her face free so she could take in air. He rolled her over on her back again, stomping her abdomen as she fought for breath. Again and again, until she pulled her knees up to protect herself, the agony was tremendous.

She felt him kneel beside her; she saw her own gun being wielded in his hand as he smiled at her, "No more bastard children, Olivia, no more bad genes." He grinned pistol-whipping her just hard enough to daze her but not hard enough to knock her unconscious. She could tell he wanted her awake for this, for whatever he was going to do.

She rolled to her stomach, crawled painfully on her belly, "El," she called out weakly, "El…help me."

"You're a whore…no one saves whores." The voice laughed and bent down to grab her hair and pull her up just enough to arch her back and cause her to moan in pain, "Say it…say 'I'm a whore'."

She coughed from the pain in her ribs, "You're a whore." She mumbled, a faint smile grazing her lips in spite of the pain, until she felt the boot in her lower back again, her back still arched as if he were trying to snap her spine in half, he yelled at her again, "SAY IT! Call your self a whore, admit it to me!" He yelled jerking her head by the hair her held in his hand as he raised the barrel of her own weapon to her temple.

She gasped for air, "El…iot."

"SAY IT!" he barked again pulling the hammer back,

She coughed, felt the blood come up from her throat, "I'm…a whore." She whispered.

"LOUDER!" He yelled pressing the gun harder against her until she finally yelled the forced confession.

"Good girl." He smiled through his ski mask, "Good girl." He let go of her hair and she suddenly felt the barrel of her gun tracing her body, "Olivia," the sadistic voice was dripping with evilness, "Do you know what every cops worst fear is?"

She moaned, tried to crawl only to find that she could barely take in breath, she felt the barrel at the back of her knee.

"It's to somehow injure their knee." He chuckled evilly, "The department lets them go immediately, no more chasing perps." He smiled, stood up and pulled the trigger.

The immense pain, of having a bullet rip through one of the most imperative joints in her body was excruciating, in fact, she knew if she had the gun in her hand right now, she'd probably kill herself for the sole purpose of getting rid of the pain. She could do nothing more than scream, in agony as he laughed and kicked her over to her back, the mangled knee spewing out blood, spewing out her life ounce my ounce. "Ell…iot." She gasped again, "p…please…come."

He stood over her, straddled her injured knee putting his weight on it for the sole purpose of seeing her cringe, scream, and writhe in pain, teeth bared, eyes rolling back from the pain, "Do you know what the biggest fear for any soccer player is?" he laughed again.

"El…help me." she gasped the blood from her lungs causing her to cough and struggle.

"Every soccer player fears a femoral injury, puts them out for the season…sometimes permanently." He grinned standing to his feet and shooting her in her femur on the opposite leg rendering her immobile save her arms, which, as he sat on her abdomen and spouted off something about every violinists fear, she knew were the next limbs in his sight. She struggled under his weight, her hands roaming the cool earth until it collided with the same branch her bare foot had snapped in half only minutes ago.

He grabbed her face the barrel of the gun digging into her elbow as she struggled for the branch on the other side, she stared at him, tried to gather clues in spite of the ski mask, and just as he was about to stand, her body contracted, her hand lunged with all of her might, shoving the sharp part of the branch into the side of his neck.

The gun dropped in an instant, she fumbled for it as he staggered back gasping for air as blood seeped out between his fingers; she pulled the trigger only to see that somehow the magazine had become dislodged. Instinctively, she cleared the weapon, a hard slap to the butt of the weapon, and quick pull of the slide back wards and in a single instant she ended a man's life.

He stumbled, fell to his knees and then forward onto her aching body, his head landing at her breast, in a moment of terror, in a moment of feeling his body over hers she shot into him again…again…again until there was nothing that could be heard except the clicking of an empty Beretta and her frustrated sobs that culminated into frantic screams until moments later she was exhausted.

She stared at the demon that lay on her, her body temporarily numb from shock and adrenaline, she reached down and pulled the mask off. Her eyes widened in disbelief as distant blue eyes starred back at her, her dead husband, her Elliot, the one she'd called for…she'd murdered him.

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Elliot woke to the ear-curdling scream of his wife next to him, her body sitting straight up in the bed; he shook her his hands finding it difficult to hold her through the sweat, "Liv…Liv wake up!"

In a moment of utter confusion, just as her eyes met his she fought, struggled for freedom, "NO!" she pushed at him, tried to gain liberation, "Who are you? Let me go!" She barked pulling away so forcefully that she'd literally pushed herself off of the bed, pushing herself on her hands and feet, crawling backwards, starring at him with eyes he didn't recognize.

"Olivia…its Elliot." He told her calmly climbing out of the bed and standing over her, an action that seemed to evoke more fear than anything else, he immediately crouched, "Olivia, honey, it was a dream…a nightmare, I'm right here."

In the darkness, lit only with the half moon from outside, he saw her eyes blink rapidly as if trying to bring both him and reality into focus at the same time, "Elliot?" she called to him in such confusion and fear that all he could do was remain still, let her gather her thoughts.

"Elliot?" She moved to her knees reached out to him and pulled him closely to her body, "El." She sobbed, kissed him frantically on the cheek, his lips, forehead, anywhere there was exposed flesh. She kneeled back felt his body, "Are you okay?"

"Me?" he furrowed his brow in confusion, "I'm fine…what's wrong?" he asked softly taking her into an embrace, "Nightmare?"

She held onto him tightly, ferocity in her grip that he hadn't experienced before, her hands still roaming his body periodically as he held onto her, searching for what, he didn't know. She sobbed into his neck, "I'm so sorry."

"What? For what Liv…it's okay, a nightmare, that's all it was." He assured her, "Look," he told her pulling her away softly, "you're okay." He smiled, gently caressing her face, only to feel that her hands were still searching his body, a pattern that they were taught in the academy when treating a gun shot victim, "I'm okay, Liv." He assured her, "Look." He encouraged her as he pulled his crew neck off of his body exposing himself to the coolness of the night, he took her hands placed them on his abdomen, "I'm okay." He whispered.

She sobbed in relief, her body heaving uncontrollably until she vomited between the both of them.

"Okay." He assured her seeing her body contract again, "he pulled her up quickly using his shirt to cover another potential mishap, he held it under her mouth and took her to the bathroom quickly, helping her kneel just in time for another round, tears stained her face, her body shook with a fear, that he hadn't seen from her since…we'll, he'd never seen it.

He kneeled next to her, stroked her back softly, "Morning sickness or nerves?" he asked softly.

"Umm," She shook her head unwilling to communicate at that specific time.

"Okay…okay." He kissed her temple softly, "Want your toothbrush?"

She nodded weakly in affirmation.

He prepared it as she stood to her feet, brows furrowed she accepted it and brushed vigorously before spitting and reaching for Listerine. He was about to turn from her as she rinsed her mouth when she reached for him, took hold of his waistband and kept him close to her, fingers still against flesh as she spit, rinsed the sink and slowly looked at herself in the mirror, exhaustion, frustration and alarm written across her features. "Elliot."

He embraced her warmly, tenderly and rested his chin on her shoulder; "Want to tell me about it?"

"No." She sniffled turning to face him, her hands on his body, "I'm sorry." She whispered again.

"For what?"

She shook her head in disagreement, not able to say that she'd killed him, that her subconscious had developed a scenario so opposite of who and what they were that it literally made her sick to her stomach.

He rested his hand on her stomach, "Baby?"

She paused as if trying to establish a connection with the tiny life inside of her; she shook her head softly avoiding his gaze, "Good."

He caressed her face, made her look at him, her watery eyes telling him much more than her just having a nightmare, there was a terror there, a hurt and…dare he say a betrayal? He tucked her hair behind her ears, kissed her lips softly, surprised when she returned the kiss, searching him with a frantic since of need and at the same time a tenderness that only she could have.

She wrapped her hands around his neck, deepening the kiss as if she were a lover who had wondered and was just blessed with forgiveness, as if she'd thought she might of never seen him again.

She separated only for oxygen, panted and fought for air as she sniffled against his shoulder, "I'm so tired." She whispered.

"Okay." He whispered, "Let's get you showered and changed." He ran her shower water as she stripped in silence, he found it odd that she kept looking at her body, feeling her knee as if trying to correct a memory. He helped her into the shower, "Take as long as you need, I'm gonna clean up out here, and I'll be back okay?"

She nodded slightly, letting the shower caress her body, caress her and wash her fears down the drain. He closed the door, took a deep breath and retreated to clean up the mishap in the bedroom, he retrieved one of his shirts to let her sleep in knowing it would comfort her, placed a pair of panties on top of the shirt and pulled himself some boxers and a fresh shirt our of the drawer.

He let himself into the restroom deposited his clothes into the hamper and opening the shower door to see her still shaking, starring down at her hands as if they'd just committed some heinous act, "Liv." He stepped under the stream to find that it hand run ice cold. "Olivia." He moved her quickly out of the stream and adjusted the water to warm feeling his own body protest at the cool temperature, she was ice to his comfort as he pulled her back to him, "Come on, under the water, get warm." He told her softly.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head again.

"For what?" he asked hoping she would finally confess, knowing if it had her this wound up, she wasn't going to.

She leaned back into his embrace, let the warmth of the water bring her back into normalcy as he held her, she remained quiet, touching him softly from time to time, a small sob escaping here and there, until he'd turned the water off and handed her a towel. "Come on, your pajamas are on the sink." He whispered to her helping her out and kissing her softly on the cheek.

She dressed herself in a silence that was making him grow more and more concerned, she'd had nightmares before, had dreams where she woke up in a sweat, but in the last two months, they were intense, this one the worst by far, she wasn't gonna talk about it, at least not now. He brushed her hair softly, combing it straight back, a look that was incredibly sexy on her, but he didn't feel the need to tell her that right now, he'd keep it to himself, share it with her later.

He changed, feeling the warmth of cotton caress his body, he took her hand, let her slip into bed as he pulled the comforter over her, a small kiss given to her before sliding in next to her, pulling her close to him, and then even closer, his hand on her abdomen, "Want to talk about it?" he asked softly.

"No." She sniffled pulling his arms tighter around her body.

"Okay…when you're ready?"

She shook her head affirming his question before she started to cry softly again. He held her tight, feeling her body finally relax into sleep after several minutes. He laid awake until the sun rose, holding her against him, feeling her hands clutching his as if her body were subconsciously trying to tell him not to let her go, not to break contact with her.

It wasn't until there was a small knock at the door that she stirred, rubbed her eyes in exhaustion, "Good morning." Elliot whispered kissing her cheek.

"Morning." She muttered, "Is Sam at the door?"

"I think so." He smiled then heard the knock again.

Olivia raised her head slightly, "Come in, Baby."

Sam grinned bouncing into the room, "Are we still going to the park?" he asked climbing up the foot of the bed.

"Sam," Elliot spoke softly, "Your mom isn't feeli-"

"Absolutely, we're going to the park." She forced a smile and a small laugh as she sat up, "Where's my hug and kiss good morning, young man?"

Sam wedged himself between the two, hugged her tightly, a peck on her cheek before sitting between the two, oblivious to what happened during the night. "Can we go on the slide?"

"Absolutely." She smiled sadly interlacing her hands with Elliot's and struggling to keep tears hidden.

"Mom?" Sam furrowed his brows turning his face directly to hers, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing baby."

"Elliot says you should always tell the truth."

Elliot pulled him onto his lap, "Your mom didn't sleep well, she's a little tired, is all."

"Sometimes I don't sleep too good." Sam informed them, "Tripod snuggles next to me and makes it better, when I'm scared…want to sleep with Tripod, Mom?"

She smiled, "No, honey, I'm okay, I've got your Daddy to snuggle to, he makes it go away."

"Good." Sam grinned, "After the park, can we go to Alex's?"

"I don't know honey," She laughed, "It's not good just to stop by unannounced."

"I called and asked, this morning." He smiled.

Olivia's eyes widened and looked at the clock, "Baby, its seven-thirty in the morning…when did you call her?"

"When I got up…I couldn't sleep."

"Honey," Olivia grinned and rolled her eyes, "What time did you get up?"

"My clock told me six thirty." He said matter of factly.

Elliot grinned, "You called Alex, at six thirty on a Saturday morning?"

"Yeah." He shrugged his shoulders, "She said we could come over…she's sad."

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brows, "She told you she was sad?"

"No…but she is, sort of like Mom, she cries but tells me she's fine, but if you cry your not fine, right Dad?" He asked in confusion.

"Sam," Olivia sat up, "When did you notice Alex was sad?"

"I don't know, maybe…how long is a week?"

"Seven days." Elliot answered.

Sam thought about it, "Maybe three of those then."

Olivia arched her brows, "She didn't say anything." She muttered, "I haven't kept in contact." She exhaled, "Shoot…dangit." She groaned.

"Robert is sad too, his voice is different when he came to get her from work."

"Okay," Olivia rubbed Sam's back, "Can you go get your backpack ready for the park, make sure your batteries to your walk-man are good, and get a bottle of juice for yourself, while we get ready?"

"Okay." He grinned and climbed off the bed as if he didn't just drop a curious bombshell on their laps.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

She rested her head on his shoulder, "Thanks for last night."

"Not a problem, my offer still stands…when you want to talk."

She kissed him softly on the mouth, "Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2 On All That's Sacred

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 2 On All That's Sacred

"Hey, come on in." Robert smiled softly, opening the door to Elliot and Olivia, as Sam slipped by, feeling as he moved through the house.

"Where's Alex?" Sam asked sitting on the couch.

"Sam, remember your 'hellos'," Elliot corrected gingerly.

Sam grinned, "Hi, Robert…where's Alex?"

Robert laughed, "I think you're as addicted to her as I am…she's resting in bed, a little tired, I'll tell her you're here though, okay?"

"Um, Robert?" Olivia chimed in.

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind, if I go and talk to her? Haven't seen her in a while." She informed him.

"Um…sure, I think she'd like to see you right now." He smiled softly, "We'll all have a little manly time out here." He tried to laugh, but it was hollow, sterile, she kicked herself for not seeing it before, for not staying in contact, for staying too consumed with her own situation not to see it.

She made her way down the hall knocking softly on the door, "Alex? It's Liv." She heard the sniffles, the clearing of the throat, but no response. She cracked the door and peeked her head in, "Alex?" she furrowed her brows seeing her curled up in the bed on her side, tissues strewn about, seemed roles had changed.

"Alex?" She closed the door made her way to her and sat softly on the bed, "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing." Alex sniffled.

"Lot of tissue for it to be nothing." Olivia smiled softly, "I'm sorry about Sam calling so early on a Saturday…almost sac religious."

Alex smiled faintly, "It's fine, I love when that little guy calls or stops by my class at work, he's starting to take after you and Elliot…it's sweet." She informed her sitting up and tucking her hair behind her ears, wiping her nose with a tissue and starring down at her lap.

"Hey," Olivia grinned, "I've got news that'll make you smile-"

"I miscarried." She blurted softly cutting Olivia off mid sentence.

Olivia felt her grin dissipate, her brows furrow, "What? Alex…you we're pregnant?"

"We we're keeping the pregnancy quiet until we passed the three month mark…didn't want any bad mojo." She laughed bitterly, "Got it anyway, two days before the three month mark." She exhaled and wiped her nose again.

Olivia toed off her sneakers and climbed the rest of the way over to her hurting friend, wrapped her arm around her and pulled her tight, "I'm sorry. I wasn't too good at keeping in contact with you the past weeks."

Alex rested her head on her shoulder; "It's okay…you didn't know, besides, Sam keeps me informed on his _Mom_ and _Dad_." She emphasized the terms, smiled and then began to cry.

Olivia exhaled feeling Alex weep bitterly in her arms, there was nothing that could be done except hold her…and let her cry.

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"What's a Lincoln block?" Sam furrowed his brow and tugged on Elliot's slacks, "What is it Dad?"

"You build with them." Elliot laughed softly.

"So, what do you say Sam?" Robert grinned softly, "Want to build while Liv and Alex are having a little girl time?"

"Yeah, yeah." He smiled eagerly, and made his way back to the couch as Robert disappeared into the hall reemerging with the blocks.

"Alright, Sam, come and sit down, bring your old man with you." He chuckled.

"Old man?" Sam furrowed his brows standing with Elliot.

"You're dad, Sam." He laughed.

Sam grew serious, "My dad's not old." He said leaning back into Elliot as they stood, "He's strong."

Elliot laughed, kneeled next to him, "Sam, he didn't mean anything by it, he wasn't being rude, it's a saying that people use is all. I'm not offended, but thanks for sticking up for me."

Sam furrowed his brows and kneeled on the carpet, "My dad's not old, Robert." He mumbled.

Robert laughed, "Duly noted, my apologies."

Sam felt for the blocks, "It's okay…where's Alex?"

Elliot ran his hand through his hair, "Remember? Mom and Alex are talking…she'll be out if she feels better, but you have to understand she may not be up to coming out…okay?"

Sam pressed his lips together in irritation, "Where's Olivia?"

"Sam," Elliot smiled at the boy's persistence, "I told you, Son, she's talking to Alex in the bedroom, and she'll be here when she can."

Sam furrowed his brow, rubbed the back of his neck a sign that Elliot learned was a pretty good indication he was digging in his heels; debating if what he was about to do would be worth a good scolding or not. Elliot watched as Sam stood to his feet, "Where's Olivia? Where's Alex?"

"Sam," Robert smiled, "Would it help you to see Alex?"

"I want my mom."

"Sam-" Elliot reached for him only to feel him withdraw his hand in frustration, "I don't want you, I want mom, where's Olivia?" he asked again and trained his ear carefully, turning quickly on his heel and making his way back to the room that Alex had let him nap in several times. He was at the door before Elliot or Robert could catch him. Perhaps Elliot _was_ old.

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Alex exhaled puffing out her cheeks and sitting back up, "I'm sorry, Olivia." She wiped her face with another Kleenex, "What did you want to tell me? I think I need a smile right now."

Olivia swallowed hard, there was no way she was going to tell one of her best friends she was pregnant after she'd just lost her own baby. "Um…you heard about…Serna?"

"Yeah," Alex laughed, "Robert saw it on the front page of the paper." She waved her hand into the air as she spouted off the headline, "MAMA COP, GETS JUSTICE IN MISSING SONS CASE"

Olivia smiled softly, "Mama Cop, huh?"

"According to the Post." Alex chuckled softly, and then blinked out her own tears, "Mama was starting to sound pretty good to me." She whispered.

Olivia held her tighter, "I know." She whispered only to be taken back when the door opened.

"Alex?" Sam called into the room, "Are you in here Alex? Mom?"

"Sam." Olivia furrowed her brow, "Honey, can you give us a sec?"

He furrowed his brow hearing a sniffle in the room, "Alex?" he stepped in, slowly defying Olivia's request.

"Sam," Olivia's voice was firmer, "I asked you to do something, please don't make me repeat myself."

"Hey, sweetie." Alex rested her hand on Olivia thigh assuring her the disruption was fine, "What's the story, handsome?"

Sam grinned, and in an instant Olivia was grateful for the connection he had with Alex. "Are you okay?" he furrowed his brow making his way to her voice, leaning against the bed, "Your sad."

"No, honey." She laughed softly, "I just woke up were not all early risers like you."

"Olivia, was sad this morning, she told me the same thing…girls are…confusing." He informed them both, "Dad says you should tell the truth."

"Sam," Olivia kept her voice in check, no need to startle him for being concerned, "remember our word Discretion?"

"Yes."

"Now is one of those times honey."

He exhaled and climbed up onto the bed, at first Olivia found herself shocked; this would be the first time he ever openly defied her, let alone twice in a span of a minute. But it was when he embraced Alex tightly and rested his head on her chest, that Olivia realized he wasn't defying her at all; he was _showing_ his version of discretion. She smiled to herself and watch her friend hold her son, watched her friend gain comfort through the touch of an eight year old, who knew far too much for his age.

And just as innocently as he dropped in on their conversation, he held Alex's face within his hands and gave her a lingering kiss complete with the 'Mmmm' sound right on her cheek and slid off the bed citing something about building and that his dad wasn't old.

"You've got an amazing boy there Liv."

Olivia wiped the moisture from her eyes, "He surprises me every single day." She laughed softly and patted Alex's thigh, "I know it sounds cliché and probably not what you want to hear right now, but you and Robert could try again."

Alex smiled softly, "I know…but it still hurts just the same."

Olivia nodded her head and exhaled, "I know."

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"How's our baby?" Elliot smiled snaking his arm around Olivia as she changed into a t-shirt.

She grinned, holding his hands over her stomach and feeling his lips against her cheek, "Fantastic." She responded turning in his embrace and kissing him playfully through a grin.

"Tease." He beamed, kissing her back, "How are you?"

"Good." She exhaled, "A little sleepy."

"Alex must have died when Sam called her this morning." Elliot laughed then frowned when he notice Olivia wasn't, "How is she?"

"Apparently our son is pretty intuitive." She informed him leaning into him and sighing as he wrapped her arms around her.

"What happened?"

"Alex was pregnant." She whispered.

"Was?" He furrowed his brows, pulled her back to look at her, to make sure he understood correctly.

"She miscarried…that's the sadness that Sam picked up on."

"Oh no." he furrowed his brows, "What can we do for them?"

Olivia shook her head, "Well, I was just about to tell her _I_ was pregnant when she told me…I don't know what to do…I won't be able to hide it forever…I don't want to upset her."

"She loves you." He assured her, "She'll be happy for you."

"I know…but I don't want to tell he so close together…seems wrong."

"Did you want to take a nap today?" he asked tucking her hair behind her ears, "I thought maybe tonight, we could hit Isaac's case if you're up to it."

"What's on your agenda today?" she asked thankful he was changing the subject.

"Well," He smiled, "Sam asked if I would take him to see a movie…boy time."

"Movie?" she furrowed her brow at the concept.

"_He_ asked." Elliot shrugged his shoulders, "I figured since he asked, I should take him."

Olivia mulled it over and decided it sounded good to her, "Think he'll enjoy it?"

"I think I might have to explain things here and there but we'll sit in the back…throw M&M's at unsuspecting senior citizen's." He chukled.

"Elliot." She laughed, "Do not corrupt that sweet boy."

"Who, me?"

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Olivia stepped out of the grocery store pulled her sunglasses down to protect her eyes, happy to be alone for a short time, thankful that Sam felt comfortable enough to go out with Elliot without her. She'd hit the button on the alarm unlocking the doors to the mustang and hit it a second time to get he trunk to pop. She was going over the list of clothing items she needed to pick up for Sam and Elliot, there was a tie that Sam had asked for in lieu of an allowance for completing chores, to which she found her self shocked he would forsake potential ice cream money for a tie.

Then there was Elliot's apparent need for socks, a discovery she made folding the laundry the night before and feeling her hand literally go through the heel of several of his socks. When she'd asked him why he didn't say anything he shrugged his shoulders, said they didn't bother him. She smiled to herself and then frowned almost dropping the bag of groceries into the trunk of the Mustang.

That cheap after-shave that alarmed her senses of the wearer.

"Ice Princess!" He called to her, "Still looks like you got a thing for me…got to say; I'm impressed."

She bit her lip, closed the trunk and turned around resting her glasses on top of her head, "Not a thing for you, so much as a repulsion for sleazy individuals."

"Ouch, name calling, I'm offended." He grinned shoving his hands into his pockets, "We got to stop meeting this way."

"I agree." She smiled dryly, "So how about next time you see me, you just keep walking?"

"Ah," he laughed, "Tempting, but my mom always taught me to be polite, to say hello to friends."

"Ah," She smiled menacingly, "I assure you Nicky, we're not friends, in fact, adversaries is more the term I would use."

"You've always been a little more linguistically gifted." He smiled taking a step closer.

Her body tensed immediately, heels positioned for a fight, keys extended in a split second to be used as a weapon.

"Imagine my surprise when I read the paper the other day and saw that Mama Cop took in a little blind cub…how sweet, although I'd be a little upset having my family affairs in the paper." He eyed her, "But hey, at least this way, there's no more bastard children, no more bad genes huh, Livy?"

She furrowed her brow at his selection of wording, at the dream she had just this morning. She stood her ground.

"How is blind boy?" he asked. A jab. A hit below the belt.

"Not really any of your concern." She responded starring him down with equal hatred. Perhaps adversaries wasn't the word either, perhaps archrivals was more appropriate.

"Oh, come on, I'd like to met him one day, see what all the fuss is about." He smirked, "Kind of hard to explain blond hair and green eyes isn't it Liv, what with your dark hair and eyes, his blue ones…seems odd to call him your son, doesn't it?"

Olivia squinted her eyes at him, closed the gap between them enough so that what she was about to tell him could be heard only by him. She stretched slightly to his ear, "I'm going to kill you one day Nicky." She said softly, almost as intimately as two lovers would talk, and perhaps that was what they were, two lovers dedicated to dystroying the other.

He tried to step away, to leave, but she grabbed his jacket, held him firmly in place against her car, turning his wrist just enough to make him comply, not enough to draw attention as she let her eyes scan for onlookers, "I'm going to get an unregistered gun, and I'm going to kill you." She assured him, "Maybe not today, or even this year, but I swear on everything sacred," she applied more pressure, heard him groan, "if you come near me, my family or my _son_ again, it'll be sooner than you think." She released him, patted his abdomen and stepped back pulling her sunglasses back down.

"Don't you pay attention Nicky?" she smirked opening her car door, "You never mess with a cub, the mother bear is always near by…ready to kill."

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Elliot walked into the house surprised that it was quiet; he'd thought Olivia might have curled up to watch a movie or get caught up on 'Lost'. He adjusted a sleeping Sam in his arms and walked with him into his bedroom, laying him softly on the bed, a gentle kiss placed on his forehead before turning on a baby monitor and leaving in search of his wife, he laughed to himself at how much Sam enjoyed listening to the movie.

"Liv?" he called softly into the bedroom to find it empty, the office yielded the same discovery, as did the rest of the house until he caught an interesting sight from the corner of his eye. He walked to the sliding glass door and watched one very angry woman trying to work out her frustrations on a heavy bag he'd installed for her because she liked to work on her accuracy, like to work on her speed. Right now she was working on sheer aggression.

He tried to recall a time seeing her hit with such a ruthless nature, a deadly speed, he came up blank. Yet here she was, bouncing on her heels, compression shirt soaked with sweet, belt tied securely on her hips, the sound of white canvas snapping as she move back, then forward with each kick, dancing with the bag as she moved, sweat dripping here and there. He wondered if it was actually safe for him to interrupt her, but the look on her face, the tension in her body, he wondered if such hard hits were good for the baby.

He decided to take his chances; he withdrew a bottle of water from the kitchen and made his way into the backyard. "Liv?"

In a split second, perhaps a reflex of being startled she'd spun around chambering for a back fist only to see him pull his head back just in time, "LIV!" he barked out of fear of having almost been hit.

She stopped immediately, "El!" She panted, "I…I'm…sorry, you…scared me." She tried to catch her breath.

"Yeah," He stared at her wide-eyed, "Apparently…you almost knocked my block off."

She blushed, "I would have stopped…well at least before the second one." She teased softly, "Seriously, though, I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you home, I thought you might stop for ice cream."

Elliot exhaled, smiled at the mishap that almost took place and offered her the water, "Sam fell asleep in the car, so I skipped it, laid him down in his room."

"Ooh." She winced, "Good luck explaining that one when he wakes up."

"Well," Elliot shrugged, "I didn't tell him we we're going in the first place so what he doesn't know isn't gonna kill him."

"Good call." She smiled handing him the water to open it for her.

He took the cap off easily and handed it back to her, "So…this new found aggression…"

"El." She groaned taking a drink of the water, "I just needed a work out."

"Looks like you we're mentally killing someone…very painfully." He winced looking at the bag.

"Just…working out some frustration." She assured him, that was the truth, her encounter with Ganzner had frustrated her, but she didn't want Elliot to loose his temper and hunt him down, which she knew was exactly what he would do.

He smiled and moved closer to her wrapping his arms around her, unconcerned with the warmth or the sweat that came from her, "Sam had a blast."

"Really?" She grinned, "Could he follow the movie?"

"Surprisingly yeah, he asked a few questions and I had to explain a couple things but yeah, in fact, I think he caught more than I did." He chuckled.

"Well, you've always been a little slow on the uptake." She teased resting her hands on his chest; "I picked up some socks for you, and a cute tie for Sam."

"Cute?" Elliot furrowed his brow.

"Excuse me," She cleared her throat and smiled, "I picked up a _manly_ tie for Sam."

"Ah better." He grinned kissing her tenderly on the mouth and resting his forehead against hers, "How are you…with the nightmare? Feeling better?"

"I'm okay." She assured him although she wondered if she was. "Went grocery shopping, picked you up some Oreos."

"Ah…savior, thank you." He grinned and kissed her again, surprised when she kissed him back again as if she thought she might not see him again, as if this was perhaps their last kiss. Or perhaps it was more that she just wanted to kiss him in such a way that he remembered her lips against his, her fingertips at the contour of his jaw, her chest against his. He smiled when she pulled away slowly, "Boy, I must have done something really good." He chuckled.

"Maybe." She grinned, "Or maybe I just like to kiss you."

He laughed at her playfulness, his hands on her belt, "Do you like to do other things with me?" he asked mischievously as he started to untie the belt, kissing her mouth gently only to feel her hands cover his.

He chuckled, "You are fiercely protective of that belt."

"Worked hard for it…right up their with the badge." She informed him, "But," she grinned pulling him close to her, "If I recall correctly," she whispered playfully, "I think I owe you some sort of fantasy this week."

He arched his brows, a grin covering his face, "Why Mrs. Stabler, are you trying to get me naked?"

Olivia grinned, "Absolutely."

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Olivia laughed softly as Elliot drew her body flush against his, "Didn't see that one coming, did you?"

Elliot laughed and kissed the warmth of her neck, "Nope, can 't say I expected that…what magazine were _you_ reading?" he chuckled tightening his embrace.

"Hey," She covered his hands with her own, "You're the one that wrote that, I merely complied with the request."

"Yeah you did." He whispered kissing her again, "I have to say, you're an amazing, amazing creature."

She turned in his embrace, kissed him playfully on the mouth, "I got to say Mr. Stabler, you're pretty fantastic yourself."

"Well," he shrugged, "I aim to please."

"You're cocky."

"You seemed to enjoy that…isn't that what you were moaning about?"

"ELLIOT!" she blushed, eyes widening, at the remark.

"What?" He grinned, "Just a question." He said innocently.

"Yeah, my butt."

"Yet another cute asset." He teased.

"Shut up, Stabler." She smiled, resting her head on his chest, hearing him breath, it was comforting to her, to have just made love to him, to feel his body against hers, to feel his chest rise and fall taking in oxygen, to hear his heart beat…to know he wasn't the dead creature laying over her body, to know she hadn't killed her husband, she couldn't have because she could hear him, feel him taking in air.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you call the locksmith?"

"Yep, coming out Monday afternoon with the alarm company hot on his trails." He assured her running his fingertips along her arm, "Maybe Monday or Tuesday we can head down to K-9 since we didn't go today?"

"Please." She whispered soflty

"If that's what you want, that's what we'll do." He told her.

She kissed his abdomen softly and returned her head to his chest, counting the beats of his heart, each one making the nightmare a little more distant.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"What really happened today that had you so upset?"

"Nothing, I told you, just frustrated."

"You're lying to me."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah you are."

She smiled, it was a dance between the two of them, one trying to cover up a truth to protect the other, knowing full well they knew one another enough to know exactly when they were lying, exactly when they were telling the truth. "I think…the nightmare just really bothered me." She offered.

"Liv…what else?"

"That's all." She assured him.

"No its not…what happened?" he asked pulling her up softly so she rested against his shoulder, "What are you trying to protect me from…is it the news article form the other day…I read that, does it bother you that they put Sam out there like that? That we got put back in the spot light?"

She exhaled, "Yeah, it bothered me." That was another piece of truth; that was after all the basis of Nick's accusation.

Moments passed before he called her on it, "Liv, I'm ready to listen when you're ready to tell me the truth."

"Elliot," She groaned, "Come on, what do you want me to say?"

"Hey," He smiled, held her firmly against his chest and kissed her head as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm not saying you have to tell me anything right now, I just want you to know that I don't buy it all and when you want to be honest, I'll listen…not condemning, not judging, just letting you know, I'm here."

She exhaled, rested her head against his chest, "Thank you."

"Hey," he furrowed his brow, "on a different subject, do you think I'm old?"

She laughed against him, "What? No…besides, I'm two years younger than you…saying yes would incriminate myself."

"Robert called me an old man today." He smiled, "You know like, 'hey where's your old man?'"

"Yeah, and?" she sat up and leaned on her elbow.

"Sam, almost hit the roof, stuck up for his old man." He laughed, "Should of seen it, Liv, thought he was gonna go toe to toe with Robert…too funny."

She laughed, "I suppose that was what he was talking about when he left the room." She smiled, "He likes you."

"Yeah," he smiled, "But you're his heart, he loves you like I've never seen."

"I love him too." She grinned, kissed his mouth; "I don't suppose you'd want to take a shower with your 'ol'e lady'?"

"Ah, well, only if you want to see an old man naked." He laughed then stopped immediately when he felt her hand caress him softly.

She allowed her body to cover his chest, her lips to meet his ear ear, "Believe me, El…there's nothing old about you."

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"He's still out." Elliot informed her sitting down in the office of the house.

"It's kind of late in the afternoon, he's slept a long time." She furrowed her brows looking at her watch, "Was he feeling well today?"

"Yeah." Elliot shrugged taking the lid off of the box that contained everything related to Isaac's case. "He was up pretty early, Liv…he's probably exhausted."

"Yeah." She rubbed the back of her neck, "Probably."

"But you're not buying that are you?"

She exhaled, "He just sat in Huang's office, wouldn't utter a word."

"That was days ago Liv…he wouldn't still be bothered by it would he?"

"I don't know." She bit her lip, "Think maybe we pushed him too fast, going to Huang?"

"I think we're trying to do the best we can for him. You heard what Huang said, he probably didn't like the different environment, it could have been that he didn't like us not being in the room with him, it could be anything." He assured her.

"You think it's a good idea to have George try and talk to him here? You don't think it will confuse Sam, that George was here as a friend so many times and now he's suddenly here as a doctor?"

"No." Elliot shook his head placing the empty box onto the floor and organizing the files on the desk, "Liv…_we_ don't even like talking to George, we can't expect that he'll just open up and confess everything at the first meeting."

"Yeah, I know." She agreed taking one of the files, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"When Sam came into Alex's room today?"

"Yeah, Liv, I'm sorry I wasn't watching him closer."

"What?" She shook her head, "No…believe me I think Alex actually preferred to have him there, but he said something that makes me worry."

"Yeah? What did he say? That nail gun thing was a one-time deal. I swear." He assured her.

She rolled her eyes a smirk playing on her lips, "No, he said sometimes he's not sleeping too well…and by the way, Frankie's nail gun is still here…it needs to go before you hurt yourself."

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Don't you mean before _Sam_ hurts himself?"

She smiled, "No, I mean before _you_ hurt yourself…do you think Sam would tell us if something were keeping him up?"

"He knows he can wake us up if he's bothered."

"I know that, and he knows that…but do you think he'd do it? I mean, he really wants to be a big boy, and I'm worried he's laying in his room scared out of his mind, hanging onto his puppy because he wants to be a big boy, instead of just coming to us."

"Liv," He smiled softly, "we can ask him at dinner tonight, okay?"

She exhaled, "Okay…you still need to get rid of the nail gun though."

He chuckled, "Noted…you ready for this?"

"Not so much," She exhaled staring at the folder and opening it, "Alright, one thing that I noticed when we first started looking through this was that-"

Elliot cut her off looking in another box as if something suddenly dawned on him, "No one ever interviewed Casey and Paul."

Olivia leaned back in a chair, "Exactly."

"They called off the investigation before they even had an opportunity to question the only people who could witness the crime." Elliot muttered looking around, "Where's the legal pad?"

Olivia moved some files around, found the pad and tossed it to him, "Heads up."

"Thanks…pen?"

"Look out." She warned tossing it to him.

"Alright, then," Elliot paced the room with the note pad, "Give me questions."

"Well," Olivia exhaled, "We can start with, 'what the hell happened that night?'"


	3. Chapter 3 There's No Such Thing

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 3 There's No Such Thing…

"Did you have fun in Sunday School, Sam?" Elliot asked hiking the youngster up on his back as he and Olivia walked back to the Mustang.

"Yeah, yeah." He grinned happily holding on to Elliot, "They like me here…not like at school, here, the kids talk to me and they describe things to me so I know what to do." He informed them, "Did you have fun Dad?"

"Yep," Elliot grinned, "Your mom is a pretty good singer, did you know that Sam?" He asked taking hold of Olivia's hand.

"Yeah, yeah, Mom is good, she sings to me sometimes, pretty." He informed them.

"Well, thanks Sam, that was nice…made me smile." Olivia told him stroking his back as Elliot lowered him to the ground. "Sam?"

"Mom?" he took hold of his cane and started to collapse it, "Your voice is serious, did I do something wrong?"

Olivia smiled, "No baby, but Elliot and I have a lot planned today, we're going to take you somewhere right now, and then tonight guess who's coming over?"

"Alex?" he grinned, "I miss her…is she coming?"

"Sorry, no. But Casey and Paul are coming and guess what a little birdie told me."

"Birds can't talk." He furrowed his brow.

"It's a saying Sam…remember like 'old man'." Elliot chuckled taking his suit jacket off and laying it in the back seat of the mustang.

"Oh, what did the birdie say, Mom?"

"Well, a little birdie told me that Casey, is bringing ice cream to a certain little boy tonight." She smiled helping him into the backseat and resting her hand on his leg, growing more serious, "Sam, I'm going to need you to trust me completely today okay?"

He furrowed his brow, "Why?"

"Well, do you remember what Elliot and I tell you about fear?" She asked pulling his seatbelt down and buckling it before sliding into her seat and closing the door.

Elliot looked at her, encouraging her to keep telling him what they planned to do with him today.

"Do you remember Sam?" she asked again when he didn't answer. She pulled down the visor and watched him in the mirror, the worry written on his face.

"Once a fear is exposed," He whispered, "It must be conquered."

"And what does exposed mean?" She asked softly, as Elliot pulled the car onto the street.

"To make known." He whispered bowing his head.

"And do you remember what conquered means?"

"To defeat."

"Do you trust me Sam?" She asked softly.

"You're my Mom…I love you." He whispered fidgeting in his seat, "Why aren't we going home? Dad went left, he should have went right, where are we going?" he asked nervously.

"Sam," Olivia turned around and rested her hand on his leg, "we're going to the gym to see Ricky."

"Ricky!" He grinned, "I like Ricky, he's nice." He laughed, "Dad, Mom can beat Ricky in the ring, 'cause she bounces like 'The Dragon'." He informed him.

Elliot was just happy the subject was changed, "The Dragon, huh?" he asked turning the car into a parking lot, "Who's that again?"

"He's _the_ _dragon_." Sam said as if everyone knew who 'The Dragon' was except Elliot, "He's Mom's favorite kick boxer you know."

"Really?" Elliot grinned looking at Olivia who blushed and turned to look out the window as Elliot parked the car.

"Ready Sam?" Olivia asked stepping out of the car.

"Yeah, yeah, what are we going to do with Ricky? Do we get to break boards?" He asked with a hint of hopefulness.

"Sorry, Baby." She said softly helping him out of the car as Elliot popped the trunk.

"Your hands are sweaty Mom…what's wrong?" he asked as she handed him his cane and closed the door to the car.

"It's a little warm today." She assured him.

"This morning you weren't hot." He informed her unfolding his cane, "Elliot? Why are we here?" he asked with furrowed brows as he heard the trunk close, "What was in the trunk?"

"Baby," Olivia bent her head and kissed him softly on the head, "Can you trust me…can you know right here," she tapped his heart, "that I will never ever do anything to hurt you, and that if something did hurt you…it would be for good?"

He pressed his lips in frustration, "I want to go home." He whispered.

"I know you do honey, but today, we want to show you what Elliot and I like to do, okay?" she asked touching his face softly, "I love you…you're my boy." She assured him before standing to her feet and reaching for his arm, only to feel him pull away and reach for Elliot. She swallowed hard and exhaled, "Okay, if he makes you feel better, that's good, lets go have some fun, huh?" She tried to sound encouraging but knew he already knew something was amidst.

"Hey Sam!" Ricky smiled as they entered the gym, "How's my tiny tiger?"

"Not so tiny." He grinned, "Dad says he thinks I grew a whole inch."

"Wow!" Ricky stood next to him, "Yeah, I think your papa is right."

"Papa?"

"That's what Ricky means by Dad." Olivia informed him.

"Oh." Sam grinned, "What are we doing today, Ricky?"

"Well, Olivia and Elliot called me this morning and asked if I would open the-" He stopped immediately when both Elliot and Olivia motioned for him to do so. He furrowed his brow, "Know what Tiny Tiger…I think Olivia and Elliot want to tell you."

"What are we doing Mom? Dad?"

Olivia took his little hand in hers and took duffel from Elliot, "Come on Sam, let's get ready."

"For what?"

"Fun." Olivia said dryly, knowing that what she was going to put him through was going to be anything but fun for him, but hopefully, in the long run, it would set him free.

"Change into these, Sam." She said softly handing him a pair of shorts, "They're red like the heat of the stove." He informed him.

He sat down on the bench in the locker room and toed off his shoes and pulled off his slacks, "Mom?"

"Yeah, Honey?"

"Where's Elliot?" he asked softly loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

"He's changing in another room." She assured him changing her own clothes for ones more appropriate for the task at hand.

"Mom…" his voice trailed off as he slipped into his shorts.

"Yeah?"

"Shirt?"

"No shirt, sweet pea…you won't need it." She assured him.

"But people will see me." He whispered.

"It's just you me and Elliot, today, no worries no one will see you." She assured him, "And don't worry," she covered his hand with hers and placed it on her abdomen's scars, "if someone does see, they'll see me too." She assured him, "Come on, your Daddy is probably waiting."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Are you…going to…hurt me?"

She exhaled, not knowing how to answer the question, what she was about to do was going to cause him the greatest amount of stress, but it had to be done. She crouched in front of him, "Samuel, you know that your daddy really loves me don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well," she exhaled, "even though he loves me, sometimes he has to do things that I might not like…but I still know he loves me and wants the best for me…I still trust him, love him and want to be with him." She assured him, not asking if he understood her, she led him out of the locker room. Feeling him stop immediately.

"What's that smell?" he asked clutching her hand, "My feet, they're wet…what's that sound." He dug his fingers into her hand. Chlorine. Wetness. The sound of water lapping at cement.

She kneeled in front of him, Elliot standing to their side, "Honey, it's a pool." She whispered.

He backed up, "NO!" he screeched, "My breathers will hurt!" he started to cry, "I love you, Mommy, please…no." he cried walking away and stumbling into Elliot, "Daddy?"

"Yeah." He assured him, "I'm right here."

"Please…I don't want to, I love you Daddy! Tell her no, make her go away." he cried, "Please, I'll be good, I'll feed Tripod, and I won't forget the trash again…please!" He sobbed, "I won't call Alex early anymore and I wont ask for ice cream." He hiccupped, and hid his head in Elliot's neck, "Please Daddy?"

Elliot held him tight, "Son, this is gonna help you, and your Mom and I are going to be in the water with you." He assured him.

"No!" Sam hollered, "Please, I've been good!" he hiccupped, "I want Christoff!" he bellowed as Elliot motioned for Olivia to make her way into the pool.

"We have floaters for you, Sam…it's gonna be fine." Elliot assured him.

"No!" he screeched, "I hate you Elliot!" he sobbed, "I hate you, Mommy!" he hiccupped as she walked down the steps of the pool, a black bikini for a black day.

"Sam." Elliot lifted him into his arms and walked with him, "Calm down, Son."

"NO!" he screeched again slapping Elliot's bare chest with tiny palms, "You said I was your boy!"

Elliot lowered himself next to the pool's edge with Sam straddling his waist, he held him tightly as he let his own feet dip into the water, "Go ahead and cry buddy, your Mom is right here in the pool and I just have my feet in the water." Elliot assured the struggling boy.

"No…please Daddy…my breathers!" he cried against Elliot's chest, "Please, please, please!"

"Honey," Olivia chimed in softly stepping to edge, water just below her bust line, "I'm in the water, and I'm okay…you can hear me Sam, I'm fine." She assured him, reaching out to stroke his back.

"Don't touch me!" He screamed holding tighter to Elliot, "I hate you Mommy!"

"I love you Sam." She answered back softly, "And I know you're scared right now and that's okay baby…we'll go nice and slow." She assured him feeling her own eyes mist, a tear fall.

Several minutes of labored crying, pleading and 'I hate yous' passed before Sam finally hiccupped and loosened his embrace on Elliot's neck, "It's scary."

"I know." Elliot whispered, "But big boys swim all the time, and your mommy is a fantastic swimmer, she'll hold you if you let her." He whispered into his ear, stroking his back, feeling the scars that shouldn't be there in the first place…but were, "Would you like to sit in my lap and put your toes in the water?"

"No." Sam whispered but slowly turned in Elliot's lap and kept his legs extended.

"I'm so proud of you Sam." Olivia encouraged him moving slowly to him, "Want to feel my hands? Their like raisins." She said softly in hopes that he would touch her, feel that she was wet, but know that she was fine in the water. She held out he hands, "Go ahead and touch me." She encouraged him.

He extended his hands slowly and smiled softly when he felt her skin, "Wrinkly, like Mrs. Reynoso." He hiccupped trying to re gain his composure.

"Yeah, because I've been in the water along time…I really like the water, it makes me smile." She assured him, "I wonder if your toes would look like raisins too."

"I don't know." He whispered back.

"Hmm," Olivia smiled softly, "maybe if you put them in the water, we could see?"

He stayed silent and uncooperative for several minutes until he surprised them both by crawling off of Elliot's lap and sitting next to him, ever so slowly extending one leg and letting his toes meet the water until nearly ten minutes after the suggestion he'd placed both legs in letting the water rise to his little calves.

He white knuckled the edge of the pool as Olivia watched him, "How ya doing Sam?" she asked softly making her way to stand in front of him.

"It's scary." He whispered but relaxed slightly more when Elliot put his arm around him.

"Better?" Elliot whispered kissing the top of his head.

Sam nodded his head softly as Elliot and Olivia purposefully engaged in a conversation to try and distract Sam. After several minutes Elliot managed to slip into the pool, the water up to his waist as he continued talking to Olivia slowly they distanced themselves form Sam, although they stayed close enough that they could reach out to him in an emergency if need be.

Eventually Sam seemed to loosen and join the conversation, which ended up into his favorite game of definitions, synonyms and antonyms. Olivia took a deep breath and made her way back to him, "Honey, I'm going to pick you up and bring you in with me, okay?"

His face froze, his features tensed, "Please no, mommy." He whispered.

"Honey?" She rested her hands on his small waist, "What scares you? It's just me and Elliot here, we'll stay with you and your head doesn't even have to go under the water, just hold on to me."

"My breathers." He sniffled, "They'll hurt me."

"No worries, honey, remember when you climbed into bed with me and your dad, and you said you were scared?"

He nodded his head.

"It's the same thing honey, just in the water now…we'll protect you." She assured him.

He didn't budge. She had an idea.

She placed his hand on the top of her head, "I want you to keep your hand on my head okay, honey?"

"Ok." He whispered.

She took in a deep breath and slowly submerged herself until she knew his hand had to have touched the water. She held her breath for five seconds and came up wiping the water away, "Feel my face, Sam." She instructed.

"Your wet." He laughed feeling her face and hair softly, "You're smiling."

"Yep…I went under water…and I'm fine Honey."

He swallowed hard, silent tears falling as he surprised them both and wrapped his arms tightly around her neck. Olivia smiled letting him wrap his legs around her as she stepped away from the edge, "How ya doing Sam?" she whispered into his ear feeling him cry against her.

"I want to go home." He whispered.

"I know you do baby…but look at what you're doing right now, your such a big boy." She assured him as Elliot made his way closer to them both. In a manner of seconds she felt a change in water temperature against her abdomen. She looked down to see a yellow sheen, as he started to cry harder against her.

"It's okay." She whispered to him rubbing his tense back, "Everyone has accidents, let the water take it away." She whispered.

"Daddy." He hiccupped against her shoulder.

Elliot moved to them, stood behind Olivia and held them both, "Your such a big boy, Sam…I'm so proud of you."

They stood in silence as Olivia very slowly almost unnoticeably lowered her body deeper into the water so that in a matter of several minutes the water was up to Sam's shoulders. "How ya doing Sam?" Olivia asked eventually sitting on a step that allowed them to remain partially submerged with Elliot only feet away from them.

"Mommy," he cried into her neck, "I'm sorry I was bad, please…I don't like this…please mommy?" Be begged harder.

"Listen to me, Sweet Boy," She whispered to him feeling Elliot's hands over hers as they held the small body tightly, "You weren't bad, you didn't do anything to upset us, and this isn't a punishment, or a scolding." She assured him feeling him calm, only slightly. "You remember how your Dad said he'll show you how to be a big, strong boy?"

"Yeah." He sniffled.

"We'll, that's what we're doing, we want you to not be afraid of the water, Honey." She assured him wiping a tear from her face, struggling with her own emotion. She felt her self, evil for having to do this to him, she remembered begging her own mother to stop, telling her she loved her, only to feel the hits come harder. In this moment hearing her son beg her for a mercy he couldn't afford for her to give him, she was Serena Benson, cruel mother.

She continued to hold him, letting her body rest against Elliot's, they'd been in the water for over an hour, which meant she'd been scaring him for over an hour. She licked the tears that had rested in the crevice of her lips, "How are you doing, Baby?" She sniffled.

Sam exhaled and held her tight, "How do you go under the water? Do your breathers hurt?" he whispered.

Olivia grinned, he was finally relaxing, "Take a breath for me and hold it." She instructed him giving him an example first. Sam took in a breath, held it and then let it go. "Now, next time, I'm going to blow on your face, I want you to close your eyes and take a breath, you'll feel the water over your face and head and then straight back up, okay?"

"I'm scared." He sniffled.

She rested her cheek against his, "Feel where I am right now?"

"Yeah."

"I'll go under the water with you, just like this, okay?"

"Okay."

He swallowed hard mulled the instruction over in his head and smiled sadly, "I'm ready, Mom."

Olivia grinned at Elliot who encouraged her to do it. She blew lightly into Sam's face making his eyes close, as he took in his breath she rested her cheek against his, lowered her legs, submerging them both and bringing him up through the water firmly held against her body. She pulled back to see him. He was grinning as she wiped the water from his face.

"I did it!" He yelled in glee.

"You did!" Elliot joined in the youngster's happiness.

Olivia hugged him tightly, "I love you little man."

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"That little guy is dead to the world!" Elliot chuckled, "We wore him out."

"Yeah." Olivia whispered leaning her head against the back of the couch.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel bad for doing that to him." She confessed leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Liv…it worked you heard him, he wants to do it again."

"I know." She sniffled, "But it doesn't change the sting factor."

He wrapped his arms around her, "Oh, Liv, he didn't really mean he hated you, he was stressed out, nervous and scared to death…he didn't mean it."

"I know." She wiped a tear away and nuzzled closer to him, "What time are Paul and Casey coming over?"

"In four hours." He whispered.

"I don't feel like cooking…can we order something…maybe you can pick it up, and let me take a nap?" she asked.

"You didn't sleep well?"

"No."

"Nightmare?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't wake me up…I would have helped you."

She wiped another tear away, "You looked peaceful."

"Olivia, wake me up, when you can't sleep." He instructed, "I want to be there for you…can you talk to me about the nightmare?"

She shook her head declining his offer; "I just…I just need to get some sleep, could you pick up dinner for me?"

He kissed her soundly on the mouth, "Chinese?" he asked stroking her abdomen softly.

"Surprise me?"

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"Forty-Seven-Fifty." The cashier smiled.

"That's some expensive Italian." Elliot grinned handing her his credit card.

"That's great Italian." The cashier smiled running the card and eventually sending him on his way.

Elliot walked out of the restaurant and made his way to his car only to find someone leaning up against it. "What the hell are you doing here?" Elliot growled.

"Wow…you're not the Ice Princess." Nick was visibly shaken, he must have been expecting Olivia, "This isn't your locomotive." He grinned.

Elliot eyed him carefully, walked to him causing him to move back so he could put the food in the car. "What do you want?" Elliot growled.

"Oh, pissy." Nick grinned, "Guess Liv said I ran into her the other day, huh?"

Elliot furrowed his brow, "My wife is non of your concern."

"Ah, well," Nick smiled and took a step toward Elliot, "when I was bangin' her against this very car…she was very much my concern…her breast fit perfectly in my hand." Nick informed him matter of factly.

"I suggest you stop…now." Elliot managed to speak through a clenched jaw.

"Oh," Nick tilted his head to the side, "maybe, she doesn't like you to touch them? I got to tell you though, the ass that woman has is amazing, and when I slammed into her, when she screamed my na-"

Elliot pulled him violently by his lapels, turning him and slamming him into the car, a punch to the gut, and elbow to the face, and before Ganzner had a second to think Elliot pulled back, connected his fist to the side of his head. Control was lost as Elliot felt himself pulling back again and launching, only to find Ganzner move at the last second and Elliot's hand go through the small triangular window of the Mustang.

He painfully pulled his hand out, blood covering his hand as he lunged for Ganzner again a knee to the gut, effectively dropping him to his knees as Elliot simply slid into the car and drove away.

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Olivia's eyes fluttered open to a sound that wasn't registering, it wasn't Sam, she trained her ear and realized it was the sound of running water, Elliot was home. She slid out of bed, much more energized form the nap and padded her way to the bathroom. She knocked softly on the door that was already ajar, "El?"

When there was no answer she opened the door slowly, shocked to see her husband hunched over the sink, as blood made it's way down the drain.

"El! What happened?" She asked pulling a towel from the hook and immediately covering his hand with it. She pulled him close to her, felt the tenseness in his body, the throbbing of his jaw, he was angry, hurt, frustrated. She wrapped her hand around his neck, "What happened, tell me." She whispered.

He closed his eyes; leaned against her forehead, "Minor altercation with your car." He whispered.

"What?" She furrowed her brow, "What are you talking about?"

"I'll have to call the Glass Shack tomorrow to install a new one, I'm sorry, Liv."

"Elliot!" She held the back of his head so that he was firmly against her's as she looked at him, "What happened?"

"Why didn't you tell me you ran into Ganzner the other day?" He asked softly.

She closed her eyes, but kept her touch, "I'm sorry, I…didn't know what to do, he'd frustrated me, and I was worried…I didn't want to upset you." She whispered.

Elliot swallowed, "He said, he had sex with you."

She took an immediate step back, "You believe him?" She asked hurt that he could take his side over hers.

"What?" he furrowed his brow, "oh, no, Liv…I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth." He assured her bringing her back to him, "I know you would never cheat on me."

She exhaled, "Sounded like…you were accusing me."

"Never." He whispered kissing her mouth gently, "How was your sleep?"

"Better if you were there next to me." She smiled softly and looked down and his hand, "Come on, let's get you fixed, before they get here." She whispered avoiding his gaze, feeling like a whore that two men just fought over.

"Olivia?" he pulled her back to him softly, "You are the most amazing woman I know." He whispered moving to kiss her mouth only to have her turn away.

"Tell me what your thinking?" He whispered, "Tell me what's hurting you."

She swallowed, closed her eyes and whispered her confession, "You."

He furrowed his brows, "What?"

She cried running her hand through her hair, "I…you were dead…Nick…and it was the same…and, Sam, I…my mom-"

"Olivia, slow down." He smiled softly, "Come here." He led her to the edge of the bed and sat with her, "Your not making sense."

"Please El," She whispered against him as he held her, "I didn't sleep with him."

He pulled her away gently, "I know with out a shadow of a doubt that you didn't sleep with him, I know you, Olivia, I love you, you love me…it's not an issue." He assured her kissing her forehead, "You're a good woman," he whispered kissing her cheek, "You're a good wife." He assured her kissing her mouth, "A wonderful mother." He breathed over her lips resting his hands on her cheek, he could feel the sting of his unattended hand, but his need to make her understand overrode it.

"I need you to know," she whispered looking up at him, "you're the only one, it's always been that way."

He grinned, "I know…and it'll always be that way, I have no doubt." He assured her. "Look, honey, why don't we talk about this later on tonight, when we have more time, I know something is eating at you and I want you to trust me with it."

She shook her head softly, "Okay…we don't have much time anyway, can you wake up Sam…help him get dressed?"

"You know what?" he whispered, "I know you probably want to talk with him…how about I get the dinner ready and you can spend some time with him?"

She smiled, kissed his mouth, a soft moan escaping her throat, "Please, be with me tonight."

He furrowed his brow, "I'm not going anywhere, Liv."

"No," She shook her head, "I mean, when they leave and it's just you and me….please don't hate me."

He watched her closely, felt the weight of a world he couldn't name rest on her shoulders he brought his lips to hers in silence, pushed her down softly on the bed and pulled her panties off slowly.

"Elliot," She whispered, "you don't hav-"

He silenced her with a tender kiss, "I know I don't have to, but I'm going to show you that when it comes to you hate isn't an option." He assured her rubbing himself into her body, before standing to his feet and dropping his pants eyeing the clock, before lowering himself to her, "Your incredible…I trust you implicitly." He whispered moaning softly as he rubbed into her.

She wrapped her hands around her head, kissed him seductively as he increased against her, "I'm sorry." She murmured.

"Liv," he whispered tangling his hands with hers, "You haven't done anything wrong stop apologizing…enjoy this." He whispered feeling her hands clutch his as he pushed into her. Her back arching as he stretched her to conform to his shape. He moved slowly, surprised when she wrapped her legs around him and bucked against him.

"Harder." She whispered.

He furrowed his brows. Olivia had never been one for rough sex, she has always preferred slow and sensual love making, yet for some reason, almost as if she couldn't trust the intimacy, she wanted something that wasn't her and that he wasn't sure he could give her. He pulled out and pushed back in slightly harder, felt her fingernails in his back as her breath hitched.

"Liv-"

"Harder." She moaned feeling him withdraw and press in faster, skin against skin, trying to please her, not sure what she was wanting entirely; this was the same woman that it took him a year to convince that quickies could be pretty interesting, that making love against the wall, could be just as passionate as making love in the security of their room.

"More." She winced arching her neck back as he plunged into her. "Elliot," She moaned pressing her palms against his chest, pulling him deeper with her legs, "Harder."

Never, in all the times they had made love had she preferred this, and while it was primal and fantastically erotic for him, he worried. He supported his weight and slammed into her hearing her whimper. "Liv, are you okay?" he asked out of concern.

She moved his hands to her waist offering her own body as leverage, "Please, harder." She repeated keeping her gaze away from him.

He stopped immediately, "Your punishing yourself." He whispered, "Why?"

"No," she panted, "Don't stop." She smiled softly, sadly "I just want you."

He kissed her again, moved within her softly, feeling her put his hands on her hips again, "Please." She whispered.

He might have obliged her except for the tears in her eyes, somehow, with what she was doing, the violence against her body…she was punishing herself. He moved gently, pulling her up into his lap, "I'm not going to do that to you." He whispered pulling her hips up and then softly down over him, pushing her as far as he could, feeling the flexibility of her legs aid in the penetration until she jumped at the deep contact, he withdrew slightly, went back tapping her depths faster and deeper but making every effort to not move harder, as she whimpered over his body, letting the friction build up, before going tense, the heat bursting through her body, as he plummeted into her one last time coming inside of her as she held him firmly against her.

They panted together, her frustration still evident, as she sniffled and looked away from him.

"No." He whispered turning her face back to him, waiting until she leveled her eyes at his. He kissed her softly and reached between the two of them, and stroking her gently, brought her back into ecstasy, letting her scream into his mouth as he kissed her, feeling her muscles milk him for anything he could offer her, feeling her hands sink into his already tired and tender muscles.

He pulled himself off of her, kissed her tenderly on her mouth, "I love you, know it, believe it…understand it."

She wiped a fallen tear and nuzzled close to him, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm…"

"What?" he asked pushing her sweaty hair from her brow.

She exhaled, buried her face into his embrace, "Frustrated, angry…hurting."

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"Sam?" Olivia called to him as she padded into his room, thankful that Elliot hadn't pushed her to expound, she was tired, they we're out of time, and she needed to simply get the words out for the time being. She sat softly on the edge of Sam's bed knowing that she had agreed to talk to Elliot this evening, but also knowing she didn't want to.

"It's wake time Sam, we have to get ready." She shook him softly, surprised when a smaller body moved under the covers, until Tripod made himself known. Olivia smiled, encouraged the small dog to scamper about as she kissed Sam softly on the forehead, "Wake up Baby, or your gonna miss the ice cream."

And in an instant, precious green eyes are revealed, "Mom?" he groaned, "I'm sleepy."

"I know but you must be hungry too." She assured him, "Casey and Paul are coming to see you."

He rolled away from her, "I don't care." He whispered.

She furrowed her brow at his response, "Are you still upset with me Sam?" she asked softly.

He cried softly, "Mom?"

"Right here." She assured him sitting up against his headboard.

He crawled out of the covers and wormed his way into her lap straddling her so he could rest his head on her chest, "I'm sorry Mom." He whispered, a small hiccup finding its way into the conversation.

"For what?" She asked kissing the crown of his head as he cried into her chest.

"I was scared, and I wet my new shorts." He hiccupped again, trying to take in a breath.

She closed her eyes knew he was referring to his accident in the pool, "It's okay sweetie, I know you we're nervous and I'm not upset, and it didn't bother me…not for a second." She assured him.

"Is Elliot mad at me?" he whispered against her.

"No. Elliot loves you."

And as if she had just flipped a switch within him he cried harder bunching her shirt into his hands.

"Tell me what's making you sad, what's hurting your heart?" she whispered stroking him softly on his back.

"I don't hate you Mom…I love you."

"Oh, Baby, I know you love me." She sniffled as her own tears fell, truth of the matter was she needed to hear him say it, just to make what he yelled in desperation go away.

"I didn't mean it Mom, I love you." He told her again as he cried, "I love you, Mom." He repeated softly, then asked a question that took her by surprise, "Do you still love me, Mom?" he whispered with his head down.

She tilted his face up to hers, stared into beautiful green eyes she knew couldn't stare back and smiled as if he could, "I love you so much." She assured him wiping the tiny tears from his face, "I love you so much." She repeated again and pulled him into her chest to give him a few seconds to digest what she'd told him.

"Mom?" he whispered against her.

"Yeah?" She grinned, still loving the new title, the one stolen, and then freely given back unexpectedly.

"Am I still your boy? Am I still Stabler?"

She tickled him softly, "You are absolutely my little Stabler boy." She tickled him again putting him on his back and wrestling playfully with him, knowing that they needed that moment of fun shared between the two of them, just to let one another know that everything was okay, that they were okay.

"Hey, young man, we're running out of time, what would you like to wear today?"

"My shirt that Robert gave me, he said dad would really like it."

Olivia grinned, Robert set him up, and Elliot would die if he found his son in the dress shirt Robert gave him. "Okie Dokie." She smiled knowing this was going to be entertaining. "Sure you want to dress up? Your dad and I will just wear jeans."

"I like my ties." He smiled as he pulled the blankets over his bed, smoothing here and there. Olivia smiled at the fact that he made his bed better than Elliot would have been able to.

"Okay, we'll, how about your silver tie, silver like metal." She informed him, she'd made it a habit to try an associate something with colors and it seemed that he understood them a little better, but she wasn't sure, and he never protested.

"Okay," he smiled undressing, "Can you turn around, Mom?"

Olivia chuckled at his request, "Absolutely." She grinned turning around and pulling the rest of his clothes from his closet.

"Okay." Sam smiled holding his pants up, fidgeting with them as she put the shirt on him. "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you teach me how to tuck so Alex doesn't have to do it at school during my lunch time?"

She smiled softly, not quit realizing just how important Alex was to him until this moment, how blessed she was to have her in her life, in her son's life. "Okay." She smiled, and sat on the bed letting him stand between her legs, back to her. "Follow my hands, feel your buttons?"

"Yeah." He shook his head softly.

"Okay, we tuck our shirt all the way around." She instructed him helping him here and there, "Now button your pants and zip up." He followed her instruction and waited for more. "Okay point to your belly button."

He giggled and pointed, "Okay, make sure your shirt buttons and your belly button and your pants buttons are all in one straight line." She informed him watching him feel his clothing gently.

"They're straight." He smiled and turned to her, "See?"

"Yep." She grinned, "Good job, now where's your belt?" she asked then noticed his frown. "Did you forget it at school?"

"No." he whispered walking to his bed and pulling the belt from under his pillow, "Can you help me?" he asked handing it to her.

She frowned but started to feed the belt through his loops, "Honey, why is your belt under your pillow."

"I keep it there, so the man doesn't spank me when Tripod growls at him." He whispered.

She buckled the belt, "What man Sam?"

"He stands by the window, I think that's where he is, it sounds that way when he talks." He told her as she draped his tie around his shoulders and popped his collar.

Not sure what to make of the confession she pushed for more, "Sam, what does he say?"

"He says he's the boogie man."

She grinned and rolled her eyes, a childhood fear, "Sam, there's no such thing as the boogie man."

"Oh." He furrowed his brow and felt the knot she tied, "then, how come he's in my room?" he asked frowning at the knot, and then retying it.

She grinned as he tied his tie, no one had ever done that to her, and she found it funny to see an eight year old challenge her skill…and from the looks of his knot, show her up. "Sam, I think you've been listening to too many scary stories on your walkman." She laughed, and then listened as the doorbell rang through the house. "Ready Sam?"

"Yeah, yeah." He grinned taking her face into his palms and kissing her hard against the cheek, ensuring a perfect smacking sound as his lips left hers, it seemed Sam found a signature kiss for the women in his life.

She ran her hand through her hair, "Hey, lets get some gel on that huh?"

"Okay." He agreed as they slipped out of his room and into the bathroom, hearing Elliot talking to Paul and Casey, something about Addison running a fever and being extra cranky. In a manner of minutes they emerged.

"Hey!" Casey grinned, "Wow, Sam…you got a date tonight?" Casey teased, "You look pretty handsome in that shirt."

"Yeah," Paul joined in, "And that tie is stellar." He assured him kneeling in front of him, "Guess what I got for you?"

"Lincoln blocks?" Sam said tilting his head to the side.

"Better."

"Ice cream?" Sam grinned.

"Better."

Sam furrowed his brows, "What's better than ice cream?"

Paul smiled and reached into a paper sac, "How about Ben and Jerry's ice cream…on a cone."

"Really?" Sam smiled, "Come on, come on," he grinned, "Mom says ice cream goes in the freezer." He said tugging at his hand and leading him into the kitchen.

Elliot's eyes were quarters as he watched Sam lead Paul away, "Olivia?"

"Yeah?" She asked as Casey laid her sleeping son in the play pin Elliot set out for her, hoping Olivia wouldn't be upset that it was Isaac's.

"Where'd he get that shirt?"

"Robert and Alex."

"Liv," he pointed to it, "It's pink."

"It's pinstriped, and it looks good on him."

Elliot groaned, "Liv, it's a girls color."

"Elliot," She smiled, "don't say something like that to him, he likes the shirt…and it's not a girls color."

He smacked his lips, "Alright, but I'm putting my foot down at ballet lessons."

Casey laughed, having heard their conversation, "Typical male." She muttered giving Olivia a hug, for the first time since she'd thought she lost their friendship. Olivia embraced her just as tightly.

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"What's this?" Sam asked poking at his lasagna with his finger, "What is this, Dad?"

"It's lasagna, good stuff." Elliot assured him.

Sam furrowed his brow, "Mom, do I like lasagna?"

She smiled, "Yep, you love it." She lied, but, the last thing was going to do was raise a picky eater.

"So, what's up Olivia?" Paul asked taking a sip of his tea.

"What do you mean?" She asked with a small smile, reaching over to Sam's plate and helping him break up his food. "Lasagna at twelve, salad at three and bread at six, your sprite is where your water usually is."

"Soda?" he grinned.

"Yeah, today you can have some, I don't mind." She assured him.

He giggled and reached for it taking a drink before putting it back down and eating as they continued to talk.

"Well," Paul spoke up again, "don't get me wrong, I'm all for eatin' while the groceries are free, but you sounded a little nervous on the phone…is something wrong?"

Sam dropped his fork on his plate, "Nothing is wrong." He said evenly surprising everyone.

"Sam," Elliot furrowed his brow, "It's okay, he's talking about something else."

"Sam," Paul decided the conversation wasn't appropriate for Sam, "Do you think your shirt would fit me…I sure do like it."

Elliot groaned inwardly.

Sam smiled faintly, "Robert says, real men wear pink but your too big." He whispered.

"You okay, Sam?" Olivia furrowed her brow as he bowed his head.

Sam took a drink of his soda, replaced it on the table and quietly slipped out of his seat to his room.

"I'm sorry, did I say something to upset him?" Paul asked.

"No," Elliot smiled, "don't worry, he just had a rough day."

"I'll go and talk to him." Olivia spoke standing to her feet, "I'll be right back."

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"Hey Buddy," Olivia smiled seeing him sitting on his bed, loosening his tie as a tear fell, "what's wrong Samuel?" she asked wiping his tears, "Are you still upset from this afternoon?"

"No." he shook his head, "I'm tired."

"Baby, why are you so sleepy all of the time? Was it the pool today?"

"No."

"Does Tripod keep you awake, we can get him a little bed to sleep on." She suggested.

"NO!" He screeched, "Please no! I need him." He told her kneeling on the bed and grabbing for her, "I need him, Mom." He whispered, "I need him to protect me from the boogie man."

"Sam," She kissed his head, "Baby, there's no such thing as the Boogie Man."

He exhaled in frustration, "My stomach hurts."

She placed the back on her hand on forehead, "Your not hot, are you nervous and that's why your tummy hurts?"

"I'm tired." He whispered, taking his shirt off slowly and kicking off his pants.

"Baby," she called to him as he dumped his clothes into the hamper, "is it something that was said at the dinner table? Did I or your Daddy do something to hurt you?"

"No." he told her softly before climbing into bed.

"Can I have a hug and a kiss?" she smiled.

He sat up and hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek and curling up to sleep.

"See you in the morning Love bug."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Dad didn't like my shirt…and I don't like ballet…whatever that is." He assured her.

"Sam-"

"Night mom."

She exhaled, "Night Son."

A/N: There is a second part, I had to divide the chapter due to length, so don't worry, it gets interesting. LOL.


	4. Chapter 4 Petrified

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 4 Petrified

"How is he?" Casey asked clearing the dinner table with Olivia.

"I don't know…Samuel has been stressed out, he's not sleeping through the night but he won't come into our room to let us know." She exhaled placing the plates in the dishwasher as Elliot and Paul replayed a football touchdown on the Tivo. "And it probably didn't help that Elliot and I put him through hell today by forcing him into a pool." She shook her head remembering his little body clinging to hers.

"Ouch." Casey winced, "How you holding up…must have been hard on you."

"I think he told me he hated me about a thousand times." She smiled sadly.

"You know he didn't mean it Liv…you know what they did to him in the bath tub, he was scared."

"Petrified is more the term." Olivia muttered, "I know he doesn't hate me, he told me that this afternoon, I think it bothered him more than it did me…you know, telling me he hated me, I think it was rough on him."

"You love him don't you?"

Olivia beamed, "So much."

"Sam has really changed you two."

"How so?" Olivia asked out of curiosity.

"Well, for starters…I didn't think I'd ever see you grin like you do now again." Casey smiled.

Olivia smiled softly and leaned against the dishwasher after closing it, "It's more than just having Sam. I think Elliot and I have gotten so much closer over the past year…I didn't think that would be possible...and I certainly didn't think we'd be this happy having another baby. And Elliot and I have changed drastically." She laughed watching him talk with Paul, although the conversation seemed to have taken a more serious tone, "I'm comfortable in my own skin…happy being married and a mom." Olivia grinned again, "And Elliot…don't you dare repeat this Case," Olivia warned, "But Elliot…he's not that same hard nosed guy…he surprises me that he's so tender now, he's amazing." Olivia smiled.

"You two are pretty amazing…your relationship is incredible, it inspires Paul and I." Casey chuckled playfully.

"Oh, please." Olivia rolled her eyes drying her hands and tossing the dishrag to Casey.

"No, seriously," Casey dried her hands as she spoke, "the councilor asks us to pick couples that we would like our marriage to mirror and you and Elliot's is always on the top of the list."

"Really?" Olivia asked again, in surprise.

"Yeah…but don't get all big headed on me." Casey laughed then calmed herself when she noticed Olivia was getting a little nervous, "Seriously Olivia, what's up, why did you need us here tonight?"

Olivia looked across the kitchen and down the hall, hoping, almost praying that Sam would come out and interrupt them or that Elliot would drag himself from the television, "Casey, I need to have your word that what is said in this house tonight stays here."

"Um…as long as you're not planning a murder." Casey responded in confusion.

"Seriously Casey, we're talking as friends, not a cop and ADA…I need your word." Olivia asked crossing her arms in front of her chest, not so much in defense but in nervousness.

Casey eyed her carefully, "You have my word." She whispered and paused for a few seconds, "Care to share with me what I just agreed to?"

Olivia exhaled and leaned over the counter top as she talked, "Casey…the night Isaac…was taken…do you and Paul, remember it?"

Casey lowered her gaze, "I've let you down in so many ways."

"What?" Olivia shook her head in confusion, "Casey, what are you talking about?"

Casey stood up pacing slowly in the kitchen, "I…I don't know why I didn't…pay closer attention to who was at the door…I don't know why I didn't put it together that Elliot wouldn't have knocked, he would have used a key." She traced the countertop with her fingertip unwilling to look at Olivia.

"Casey," Olivia rubbed her shoulder softly, "don't do this to your self…Elliot and I, don't blame you…we've told you that, and we'll keep telling you that until you understand it." She assured her turning her so that they were face to face, "You didn't do anything wrong, Casey." She whispered, "Elliot and I are…looking for Isaac, we need…we need to know what happened, no one ever interviewed you and Paul, we need to know…even if its…just to know."

Casey swallowed hard feeling a warm tear fall from her eye, "I remember it…like it was yesterday…" her voice trailed off as she pawed at her tear, "I can…I can tell you what happened up until was knocked out…the rest will have to come from Paul and…" she shook her head and exhaled.

"And what?" Olivia asked softly.

"Olivia…Paul hasn't talked about the attack, a few sentences here and there, but he shuts down if I push him…he hates himself." She sniffled.

Olivia opened a drawer and pulled out a box of Kleenex handing it to her, "Can you tell me what he's told you?"

Casey took the Kleenex and wiped her eyes, "That's just it…all he's said, is that he feels bad for not doing more, he wont say anything else…he won't talk to me about it…even at the councilors office and it's no holds bars there…he won't talk."

"I didn't know." Olivia whispered, "I'm sorry Casey, are you two…are you two okay? I mean…you guys aren't struggling are you?"

"Well," Casey exhaled, "we struggle sometimes with the communication aspect of this, I…I don't sleep well, and Paul…well, I'm not sure what is going on his mind with this, sometimes he eats…sometimes, he goes days without food, but we're doing great in every other aspect of our marriage and Addison…he is just icing on the cake." She smiled sadly, "Paul was so excited when you and Elliot adopted Sam; he really wants to be a part of his life…I don't know if it's just because he really loves Sam, which he does, or if it's because he feels so badly about loosing Isaac."

Olivia exhaled unwilling to question Casey, unwilling to have her re-live that night. "Casey…why didn't you tell me?"

"I haven't exactly…made," she started to struggle with her tears, "I haven't exactly made great decisions, I haven't been a great friend…why would I expect you to hold my burdens?"

Olivia furrowed her brows and closed the gap between the two of them, "Come here."

"What?"

"Come here." Olivia embraced her tightly, "I expect you to let me hold your burdens because we're friends." She rubbed her back softly; "We hit a bad spot in our friendship…that doesn't mean we're not friends, doesn't mean we can't share our hurts, and it certainly doesn't mean that I don't want to know if your hurting or having some problems…I still love you Casey." Olivia assured her, "Your still my friend…my best friend, so you may as well get use to it." She chuckled softly before releasing only to feel that Casey wasn't letting go.

Casey held Olivia tightly, "I'm so sorry we lost Isaac." She whispered.

Olivia returned the embrace looking over Casey's shoulder and seeing Elliot standing in the threshold and simply turning away to give them their privacy. Casey finally let go, "I'm blubbering…I'm sorry."

Olivia laughed softly, "Don't worry, and come on… I better get you back to your husband before he thinks I'm making you my personal slave."

"Um…don't you want to ask me questions?"

"Casey," Olivia smiled softly, "we'll wait for you to come to us…when you're ready."

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"Casey and Paul kind of took off early…what happened in the kitchen?" Elliot asked lowering himself onto the couch next to Olivia and handing her a cup of chocolate.

"Cherry?" She asked softly as she embraced the warmth.

"Wouldn't dare handing it to you without it." He smiled and rest his hand on her thigh, "What happened Liv?"

"I couldn't ask her, El, I couldn't do it." She shook her head turning away, "Did you know that Paul refuses to talk about the night…the night we lost Isaac?"

"I kind of figured that."

"How so?" She tilted her head in curiosity.

"I sort of broached the subject and he shut down on me, so we talked about mitochondria…which I have no idea what he was talking about, but I know it was mitochondria…I think." He smiled softly and caressed her face, "We'll find him."

She exhaled and bowed her head, "I'm not so sure anymore, Elliot."

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"Hey, how are you feeling?" Robert asked sitting on the edge of the bed next to Alex.

"Like re-fried shit." Alex chuckled softly, resting her head on his chest.

"I love you." He whispered kissing the crown of her head.

"I love you too." She sniffled, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

Alex wiped a fallen tear, "I'm sorry I lost the baby, I 'm not sure what I did wrong."

"Alex," he whispered her name, "You heard the doctors…it wasn't your fault."

"I don't know what to do…It takes everything for me to just to get out of bed and get through work." She exhaled, "I…I don't understand why it happened."

Robert held his wife tightly, "Either do I, Al…either do I."

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Casey smiled buttoning the blue onesie to Addison's pajamas and laying his sleeping body in his crib. "You are turning into the chubbiest little monkey I have ever seen." She chuckled and tucked his comforter over his body before leaving the nursery and padding down the hall to Paul's office.

She folded her arms and watched him from the doorway. Watched his defeated frame rock softly in his chair, a chemistry book in his lap as Wyle Coyote chased the Road Runner on the television screen. He stared blankly at rows of chemistry books on the shelves as the Road Runner dodged a falling piano.

"Paul?" Casey whispered stepping into the office.

He turned slowly in the chair and forced a smile as he placed the book on the desk, "Hey, I thought you'd be asleep."

"Na," She smiled, "Addison is down for the count but…you know I prefer you next to me." She whispered standing behind him and massaging his shoulders softly, "Why didn't you tell me you we're tense?"

"I didn't realize it, I guess."

"Work?"

"Yeah…new medicine were engineering, I'm down a lab tech and the other two are relatively new…less than ten years between the two of them." He exhaled, "Thank you…you always know when I'm messed up, huh?" he laughed softly.

She kissed his cheek softly, "I know my husband."

He turned and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap, "What's on your mind?"

"How do you know?"

"I know my wife." He smiled holding her securely in his lap, "What's up?"

"Olivia asked me for my help today in a case." She spoke softly then noticed his agitation, "Elliot talked to you?"

"He brought it up." He whispered trying to get away only to feel her press her weight into him.

"Paul…why won't you open up to me?" she asked resting her forehead against his.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Paul…honey, we have to sooner or later."

"No we don't…we know what the end result was." He whispered hoarsely and softly pushed her off of his lap so he could stand, "I need to go take a shower…early morning tomorrow."

Casey remained silent as he disappeared, she put his book marker in the his book and returned it to its rightful place before watching The Road Runner our maneuver Wyle again. She turned the Television off and mentally dug in her heels…for a fight.

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"Liv, we are absolutely going to find our son." Elliot assured her wiping a tear from her face, "We're going to find him I promise."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep." She sniffled and allowed him to take her into his arms, "I miss him so much El."

"I know you do." He whispered tracing the tattoo on her rib through her shirt, "because I don't go a single hour without thinking about him."

She exhaled, "I want my son back."

"And we'll get him back…it's gonna take time and all the skills we have…but we're gonna get him back."

"What if…what if he's not alive?" She whispered.

"Liv, we've talked about this…he's alive…I can feel him." He whispered to her kissing her head tenderly.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Tomorrow…I have a doctors appointment, will you come?"

"What type of appointment? You okay?"

She smiled softly and looked up at him, "It's a check up for the baby." She informed her patting her abdomen, "The other exam was so rushed she couldn't even tell me how far along I was."

Elliot laughed, "You bet that nice little butt of yours I'll be there…you know I'd want to be."

"I know…but I also know you hate doctors." She chuckled softly, "Practically had to drag you to the appointments with Isaac."

"Yeah, but that was only because I'm not particularly found of some strange guy in a lab coat getting to see my wife."

"Elliot!" She blushed, "Stop!"

He laughed and brought her closer, "Remember the first time we heard Isaac's heart beat?"

"You cried like a baby." She reminded him.

"Yeah, well…don't let that out." He grinned laying backs slightly on the couch so she could rest easier against him as she sipped her chocolate, he stroked her arm lightly, "His heart was so fast."

"Yeah." She grinned, "He was definitely loud and fast."

"What do you think about this little one?" he asked rubbing her abdomen softly.

"Sam swears it's a girl." She giggled, "What do you think?"

"I think I just want a baby…don't really care what the baby is…just healthy." He assured her.

"Yeah, but if you could _pick_…which would you like to have?" she asked with a smile, "I know what I'd like to have."

Elliot grinned, "I'd like a son so Sam and I could have crazy fishing trips and do manly things…you know…testosterone." He laughed, "What about you Liv…what are you hoping for?"

"A little girl." She grinned, "I'd like a little girl."

"Dresses huh?"

"What?" She furrowed her brow, "No…girls are more flexible, she'd be awesome in karate." She laughed, "Okay….and maybe a dress here and there." She chuckled, "I'd like a little girl."

He continued to stroke her abdomen softly, knowing, or at least hoping that at any given moment she would open up to him.

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Paul Novak stood under a stream of water that had the potential to scald the average person, and perhaps that was what he wanted, to burn the scars that reminded him daily that he'd let his friends down, let their son be taken form their home, he wanted those scars burned off of his body.

He hung his head in shame, mouth open as the water droplets hung to his nostrils forcing his breath to come by way of mouth, his tears seemed to be just as hot if not hotter than the water that pelted his body as his shoulders heaved.

Casey opened the shower door slowly and saw a man completely broken in front of her, she had become accustomed to seeing him cry when he thought he was alone, she could hear the nightmares he had from the night of the attack, but he refused to talk about it, refused to open up in the councilors office about it…he refused to let her in.

Casey stepped into the shower, embracing him softly from behind and wincing as the heat of the water hit her, she jumped slightly but forced herself to hold him as she rested her forehead against his shoulder, "I didn't mean to upset you."

He covered one of her hands in his and surprised her by covering one of the scars on his chest, where he had been stabbed. His body shuddered as her fingertips moved over it, for the first time, he had actually let her feel them intimately. She knew it was an act of vulnerability for him, she had tried to touch him, tried to kiss his scars as if it would make everything go away, but he refused…begged her to never touch him like that, and so, she never did…when he was awake.

The truth was, that when he was asleep next to her, she memorized the stab wounds on his back, traced them with her fingertips just as she had the scar on his chest. She'd seen the laser resurfacing pamphlets he had hidden away in a pile on his desk; she'd caught him starring at himself in the mirror…staring at the scars that reminded him…that he failed.

She kissed his back softly, kissed his scar delicately, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"There son is gone because of me." He whispered, "I just sat there with Isaac in my arms…I didn't run I –"

"Honey, your knee was busted up, how were you suppose to move?" she asked softly.

"I should have done more…I don't understand how she can look at me, how he can invite me into his home…as if we're still friends."

"That's because we are still friends, she doesn't hate you and either does Elliot, and Sam, well he thinks your pretty cool." She smiled softly.

He turned in her embrace providing enough space that the hot water hit her full force, she winced and moved to the side to adjust the water before looking back at him, defeat clearly written in his eyes. She closed the gap between the two of them, cupped his face in her hands and kissed him affectionately on the mouth, letting her lips linger only centimeters away only to feel him kiss her back just as delicately.

"I don't know what to do." He whispered against her mouth.

"Talk to me." She smiled softly pulling back to look at him, "Paul, we're in this together…talk to me, I won't judge you, I won't, I promise."

"Do you think he was warm?"

"What?"

"Isaac…when he was taken, do you think he was warm?" he whispered as his emotion betrayed him.

"You put him down that night, you made sure he was covered…he had his sleep clothes on…he was warm, Honey…he was." She assured him.

"I keep thinking…what if he was hungry?"

She furrowed her brow hoping she herself didn't break down; she needed to be strong for him…this was about him, not her, not in this moment. "Paul, we fed him, remember…we fed him and he went to sleep…they took his diaper bag, and Olivia and Elliot always kept a can of formula, they would have fed him…he wasn't hungry." She assured him, "We did the best we could…you did the best you could."

"When I look at Addison…" He began to cry as he bowed is head.

Casey tilted his chin up so that he had to look at her; she wiped his hair back from his brow, "When you look at Addison?" She encouraged him to keep talking.

"It doesn't seem fair…you we're pregnant that night and we didn't even know we were gonna have a baby, and then suddenly our best friends baby is taken…it's not fair to them."

She gently wiped at his cheeks with the back of her hand, cleansing his tears away, "Your right, it wasn't fair to them, it wasn't fair that they lost their son and we gained ours all in the same disaster…but it happened, and they love our son, they love us." She assured him.

He exhaled, swallowed and stepped closer to Casey, resting his hands on her hips, "I don't know what to do…it hurts Casey…it really hurts."

Casey worried her bottom lip before responding, "We owe it to them to help them, because you and I both know if it was our son missing…they'd war with all of Hell to get him back, Paul, we have to tell them what happened that night, even if non of it helps them in the investigation, we need to tell them so that they at least…know."

He rested his forehead against hers, "I'm afraid….I'm afraid they'll think I was weak."

She touched her fingers to his face, "They won't…I know them…they won't."

"I don't know how to tell them."

"Well," She exhaled, "How about this, you and I have the counseling session tomorrow after work right?"

"Yeah."

"How about you run it by him first…see what he thinks, and that way…you and I can talk about it, we really never have you know."

He shook his head softly, "I know…I'm sorry."

"Don't be….but tomorrow, lets change that okay? You and I, we promised each other when we got back together that we'd talk about things even when they hurt, we need to talk about this, and if its safer for you at the councilors office first, then I'm fine with that…would you prefer to start there before going to Elliot and Olivia?"

Paul closed his eyes and exhaled, "Yeah."

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"Elliot?"

"Yeah?" he whispered back to her still stroking her arm, as she stayed curled up next to him.

"The nightmares…they keep me up." She whispered tracing her index finger over the rim of her now empty chocolate mug.

"Want to tell me what they're about?"

"No…but I will." She whispered placing the mug on the coffee table and turning to face him, "I keep having this nightmare that I'm running in the woods…a man is chasing me, trying to kill me and just as he's about to…I kill him."

"Well," he laced his fingers with hers, "I completely understand why they're keeping you awake…why don't you wake me up, so we can talk it through?" he asked softly.

She bowed her head, turned her gaze away from him, "I don't know."

"Yes you do." He assured her, "Come here." He brought her tightly against him, "Tell me."

"That isn't the only dream I have." She whispered and exhaled, "I…I have nightmares about Richard White having Isaac, I have nightmares about Sam being taken from us…I have nightmares that you-" she stopped unwilling to go further.

"That I what?" He asked softly, "Go head Liv…get it out, what is it?"

She bowed her head, closed her eyes, and Elliot swore he saw her lips move, as if she were praying for God to help her through this one conversation, she looked up at him, "I keep having dreams that you-"

Before she could finish her sentence she was cut off by Sam's scream, the sound of his bare feet running frantically through the house followed by Tripods nails colliding with the hard wood floor.

"MOMMY!" Sam yelled running through the house his hands on the wall as he moved, passing both her and Elliot apparently unaware that they would still be in the living room so late.

"MOMMY!" he yelled again as he made his way into their bedroom.

Elliot and Olivia made their way quickly into the back of the house to find that Sam had jumped into their covers, his knees pulled tight to his chest as he yelled for her harder and harder.

"Samuel." Olivia tried to make her way into the room but was stopped when Tripod stood to immediate attention, ears back, nostrils flaring and teeth showing as he growled and barked at Olivia careful to keep between her and Sam.

"Samuel, it's mommy and daddy…. honey what happened?" She asked keeping her eye on Tripod whose hair was standing on end barking and growling at Olivia. The closer she got to Sam the closer Tripod got to him too.

"Tripod." Sam reached out for his sidekick and pulled the blankets back so the dog nuzzled next to him, "It's okay Tripod." Sam said nervously.

"Sam, it's me." Olivia said softly, "Your daddy is here, what happened?" she asked slowly sitting on the bed, surprised at Tripod's display of protection.

Sam shook his head side to side and started to cry, "No, no, no."

"What' s 'No' baby?" she asked softly reaching out for him slowly as Tripod eyed her.

"No. No. No." He shook his head again, "No. No. No." he rocked himself.

Olivia reached out for him and pulled him into her lap when she felt two things, first, Tripod seemed to finally relax and recognize that Sam was in good hands, and two, Sam had wet himself. She felt the area he was sitting in and determined that her linen would need to be changed but held him tightly just the same, "What happened? Nightmare?"

"No." he whispered holding her neck as he buried his head in her neck.

"No?" She asked again standing with him wrapped around her and sitting in the chair as Elliot had already come in with bed sheets and cleaner.

"No." He answered again.

"Okay, baby…want to get washed up? I'll change into my pajama's and we can get you changed too."

He shook his head affirmatively and walked with her then stopped and started to cry digging his hands into her arm, "Mommy…I don't want to go to my room, please?"

She crouched in front of him and touched his face softly with her fingertips, "You know what Sam? I did laundry today and I forgot to put the clothes away, so some of your clothes are right here in a basket in my room, what do you say, you take a shower in mommy and daddy's shower and I'll get your stuff ready, okay?"

"Can Elliot stay with me?"

Elliot stopped stripping the linen and stared at Sam. Olivia was equally shocked with the request.

"Maybe…maybe he could read like he did last time?" Sam asked softly, "I'm scared Mom."

"You know what Sam?" Elliot smiled taking him by the hand and leading him away, "Just so happens I've been reading one of your mom's magazines." He smiled and winked at Olivia over his shoulder.

She rolled her eyes and started digging for Sam's pajamas. She grabbed her own and cleaned up in the hall bathroom before returning to see Sam smiling with a towel wrapped around his still too tiny body. Surprised that Elliot actually managed to get him to do something like that she decided to make a big deal out of it.

"Wow," She whistled, "look at that little man in the towel."

Sam grinned, "Dad says men wear their towel like this."

"Oh yeah?" Olivia smiled looking at Elliot, "What else did your Dad say?"

"He says that you think it's hot…but I told him it's summer time and that's why your hot." He said matter of factly.

Olivia stared at Elliot, mouth agape in shock of what just came out of her son's mouth, "Yeah well, your daddy…he's a little loopy Sam." She teased him, "But you sure look big and strong…you been working out?" she smiled feeling his arms that had no traces of muscles, for an eight year old; he could barely pass for six.

"Alright baby, lets get you into bed, you have school tomorrow." Olivia reminded him as Elliot started to spray down the mattress, "You know what Sam?"

"What?"

"I think that we're all gonna have fun tonight and sleep on the fold out bed from the couch…does that sound fun?"

"Yeah." He grinned.

"Alright," Olivia took his hand and led him back to the living room noticing that the further away from the master bedroom he got the harder it was to lead him, the more reluctant he was to follow her lead.

"Alright, buddy here's your jammies, tell me if you need help, I'm gonna fix the bed."

"Okay." He agreed and started to change his clothing as she found herself making up the bed that she knew was going to have her pain tomorrow morning, she finished by plumping the pillows as Elliot made his way with soiled linen and her and Sam's clothes to the washer.

Elliot came back to the living room returning to walk immediately to Sam and kiss his head softly, "I love you Samuel Stabler."

Sam grinned.

"I'm gonna get my pajama's on and I'll be back." Elliot smiled to both of them and disappeared.

"Mom, can you help me, the buttons are weird." Sam informed her.

She smiled seeing that he didn't like up the shirt before buttoning and he seemed to have put the third button in the first eye and so on. "Remember, we line up the collar first, feel my hands." She informed him as she lined up the shirt for him and started to button his shirt only to feel him grab her shoulders, he was still worried about something.

"Sam, you never told me what scared you so much…can you tell me?"

He chewed on his lip, "I wanted an ice cream, but I knew I should stay in bed and keep sleeping. Tripod woke me up again, he was nuzzling me, Dad says that's his way of saying he has to pee pee."

"Oh." Olivia smiled, "So, did Tripod scare you?"

"No…I was gonna let him go potty…I could smell something in my room, and Tripod got really angry and started to growl and then the air was cold and I could hear him."

Olivia furrowed her brow at his remark, "Hear who Baby?"

Sam leaned closer as if telling a secret, "The Boogie Man."


	5. Chapter 5 These Little Guys

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 5 These Little Guys

Olivia smiled, remembering her own childhood fear of the dark, her own childhood fear of the Boogie Man, "Sam," she rested her forehead against his and nuzzled her nose against his, an Eskimo kiss that he loved, "do you remember what I told you about the Boogie Man? That there's no such thing?"

"But Mom…if there's no such thing then why is he here?" he asked confused.

"Sometimes, when we're afraid…our minds do silly things."

"Oh." He furrowed his brow, "Mom?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"Can you and Dad look in my room?"

"Sure, want me to go do it right now?"

"With dad…so if the man is sill there he wont hurt you." He whispered.

Elliot walked into the living room having overheard their conversations, "How about your mom and I go in with a warrant and badges and get this guy, huh Sam?"

"Really?" Sam smiled, "Mom, can you make him not come anymore?"

"I think we can take a look around." She smiled, "El, you got my badge?"

"Sure thing…can't get he boogie man without one." He grinned winking at Olivia as he tossed her the badge.

"Alright, lets go hunting." Olivia smiled letting Sam follow behind them as Elliot knocked on Sam's door.

"Police, we have a warrant." Elliot spoke through the door, "Were coming in." he warned rolling his eyes playfully at Olivia as they opened the door.

Olivia walked into the room holding Sam behind her making their way about the room, looking under the bed, in the closet and other various places, "Clear." Olivia smiled and kneeled in front of Sam, "Honey," she grinned and took his hand placing her badge in his palm, "looks like the badges worked, he's gone now."

"Sure?" He asked fingering the badge.

"Yep, we looked all over and no ones here, I think maybe we'll talk to Casey and get a restraining order so he can't ever come back, How's that?"

"A resting order?"

"Restraining." Elliot corrected with a smile, "It means that a judge can make it so he never comes again…would you like that?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sam smiled still holding her badge in his hand.

"Alright then," Olivia smiled, "It's settled, I'll talk to Casey tomorrow and right now…we need to hit the rack!" she smiled and led him back to the bed, "Climb in."

"Okay." He smiled softly.

Olivia tucked him in and kissed him softly on the forehead, "Snug as a bug in a rug?"

He grinned, "Yeah."

"Sweet dreams Sam."

"You too, Mom." He yawned and rolled to side to go to sleep, allowing room for her to slip in beside him, "All the way over Baby." She encouraged him helping him over to the other side as Elliot slipped in behind her and embraced her warmly a tender kiss on her cheek.

"El?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk some more…tomorrow?"

"Absolutely."

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Olivia found herself wide-awake in the middle of the night finding it odd that both she and Elliot had managed to make their way back to their own bed. "El?" she shook his back softly and kissed his shoulder, "Elliot, can you wake up please?"

"Mmm?" he responded with a slightly lower grumble than normal.

She closed her eyes, kissed his cheek softly, smiling as he rolled onto his back.

"Keep your eyes closed." He whispered barely audible to her.

In a manner of only a few moments she felt his hands at her panties pulling the fabric to the side, his length at her entrance before a sudden thrust inside of her that took her air away. She struggled to accommodate him, something not exactly right, perhaps the position was off, she tried to readjust her weight only to feel hands so much unlike his hold her hips a harder thrust that made her whimper in pain, and as he started to move, her body had the sickening feeling that this man beneath her, this man, inside of her was different. Her eyes jumped open and to her horror she stared down into the evil green abyss of Nick Ganzner. "Elliot!" She shrieked prying his hands from her waist and rolling over to her side to feel another man, "Elliot, help me!" she barked shaking the form that rolled over and smothered her with a kiss, breath that wasn't her lovers, hands that cupped her face too roughly, a body not toned, not the puzzle piece that fits her body uniquely.

She pulled away sharply falling off of the bed, "Elliot!" she moved through the house only to be cut off at the threshold by a naked Cassidy who was roughly pushing her back to the bed, back to men that weren't her husband, and just as he pushed her down and the three bodies began to ravish her, she took in a breath and yelled out her only saving grace, "ELLIOT!"

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"Hey," Elliot held her tightly against his body, "hey, it's a dream," he whispered, feeling her chest rise and fall frantically as she dug her hands into his forearm starring into blue pools that slowly made the green ones more distant.

"Elliot." She closed her eyes thankful for his touch.

"Yeah?"

"Elliot." She felt him again, felt the hands that were his as she brought it to her cheek, "Touch me, please just touch me."

He caressed her face softly, felt the contours of her jawbone, the fullness of her lips, the warmth of a tear. "What happened?"

"Here." She whispered moving his hand from her face to her hip, "Please…touch me here."

He caressed her hip tenderly, confusion written on his face as he pulled her closer, "What happened?"

"Is Sam asleep?" Se whispered.

Elliot turned his head, looked at the sleeping boy still holding his mother's badge as if it were a security blanket, he turned back to find her chin quivering, her eyes watering, "He's sleeping." He assured her pushing her hair behind her ear, "What happened?"

"Kiss me."

"What?"

She embraced his cheek, "Please…I need to feel your lips." She whispered, "Please?"

He leaned in, kissed her affectionately on her mouth, his tongue tracing her quivering lips, his fingertips against her neck as his tongue stroked hers, sipping her lips gently before letting her go. "I'm listening, if you're talking."

She buried her face in his chest, "Nightmare."

"Okay…same one?"

"No…new…worse." Sniffled, "Can we…can we get up and talk, I don't want to wake up Sam or risk him hearing us."

He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, "Alright…cherry chocolate?"

She shook her head softly, "Just you."

"Okay." He agreed and followed her lead back to their bedroom.

Elliot sat softly in the oversized chair and brought her down on his lap, "Whenever your ready Liv." He assured her slipping his hand just under her stomach and stroking her abdomen lightly.

"I thought it was you." She whispered minutes later.

"What was?"

"I woke up, and we were in our room, I…I…thought it was you, and I…" he voice trailed of in shame.

"Liv, it was a dream, no matter what you did, it doesn't make it true…it's okay to tell me." He assured her.

She absently ran her fingertip over his knuckles, "I started to…I wanted to, but…he was…different."

Elliot closed his eyes, "You thought I was next to you, and you wanted to make love?"

She nodded her head, "But, but, he was…inside of me, and it wasn't you, I opened my eyes…it was Ganzner."

He held her tighter, kissed her adoringly, "It's okay, you thought it was me…it's okay." He assured her.

"El," she laid her head on his chest, "I tried to get away and…then…Richard White was," she shook her head, trying to get the memory to flee, "He was kissing me." She whispered hoarsely, "his tongue…his breath was sick…his hands were on me."

He slipped his other hand under her shirt, rubbed her midriff and hips innocently, "My hands are on you now." He assured her, "No one else's, just mine."

"I got away." She continued, "But, when I went to leave, it was Cassidy at the door pushing me back to the bed."

He kissed her cheek softly, "It's okay now, Olivia, it's just me and you here, your okay."

She exhaled; let herself rest in his embrace for several minutes before speaking.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to kill Nick."

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"Alright, Sam, what's different about today?"

"Alex is going to pick me up from the center because you have to go to the doctor after work, then you'll pick me up from Alex and Robert's." He told her as he unfolded his cane.

"Alright, can you give Alex a hug and kiss for me?" Olivia asked adjusting his shirt.

"Yes." He replied as the bell for school rang.

She licked her thumb quickly and brushed at the corner of his mouth, "You've got egg on your face, Honey."

"MOM!" He moved his face away, "I'm a big boy."

"Okay," She smiled, "We'll see you later, have fun, okay?"

"Okay, bye…bye dad."

"Bye." Elliot grinned at the completely motherly act Olivia had just committed without even realizing it.

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"Wow," Olivia arched her brows standing behind Cragen, "What's with the suits?"

"My office." He told her gently and signaled for Elliot.

"Smooth El, what did you do?"

"Ha, you're the trouble maker." He shrugged his shoulders, and walked with them back to the office.

"Close the door." Cragen said softly as he lowered himself into his seat.

"What's going on Cap?" Elliot asked secretly praying that he wasn't getting nailed for nailing Ganzner.

"Do you remember the exclusive that was given by Aaron after he went away for kidnapping the infants?"

"Yeah, why?" Olivia furrowed her brow.

"Well, two things, first, the suits out there are here to shake your hands-"

"So, why are we in your office?" Elliot furrowed his brow.

"Well," Cragen exhaled fiddling with his pen, "I know it's sensitive, might bring back some issues for you and Olivia…I wanted to make sure it was fine with you first."

"Why are they wanting to shake our hands?" Olivia asked looking at the window at the two lawyers standing against a wall and patiently waiting.

"Well, as of ten O'clock last night, all of the children have been found, safe and well taken care of, they placed the last baby with his mother as of an hour ago."

"So the lawyers are here to tell us thanks?" Olivia shook her head, "We didn't do anything, the guy gave an exclusive, gave the names…we were useless." She muttered still starring out the window.

"You both were great detectives an-"

"I'm not doing it." Olivia said evenly, "Sir, if you don't mind, I have a doctor's appointment I'm going to be late for."

"Olivia ple-"

"I've had it on the books for a few days, it's important, I need to go." She informed him, "I'm not shaking their hand." She reiterated.

"Elliot?" Cragen looked at him.

"Liv?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "Why not? We we're the ones who got the collar?"

"El," She smiled, "You can, I don't mind, meet me at the doctors though when you're done, okay? I have to go, I'll be late." She told them again and walked out of the office and out of the bullpen.

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"You left out of here in a hurry last time?" The doctor smiled softly.

"Yeah, the job." Olivia smiled sheepishly, "Where is my regular doctor?"

"Car accident." He replied softly, "She broke both wrists from the steering wheel impact, I'll be your tending physician for the next few months…is that okay?" he grinned setting her chart on the table, "I'm doctor Wesson, but please call me Scott."

"Okay." Olivia allowed her bare feet to kick back in forth on the table.

"Alright, go a head and lean back, feet up in the stirrups please." He smiled softly.

Olivia was thankful he kept casual conversation with her as he moved about, she hated these exams, and now that it was a male doing it, she wished more than ever that Elliot were here.

"So, mind if I ask what you do for a living?" he said drying his hands and pulling latex gloves out of the carton.

"My husband and I are detectives." She said starring at the ceiling, wondering what was keeping Elliot so long in the first place. _Just shake hands, nod your head and smile, and get your butt over here._

"Wow…that's awesome to hear." He told her with a voice that seemed to indicate he was truly happy for her choice of profession, "Mind if I ask what your game plan with your husband is?" He said as he applied a lubricant to the gloves.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, usually women come in and they want to be the one to tell the sex of the baby and stuff like that…I usually like to ask so I don't have a slip of the mouth when they're here…I'm starting now." He informed her.

She rolled her eyes in uneasiness, feeling him invade her; even if it was a medical procedure, she still loathed it. "Um, neither of us want to know the sex, but anything other than that, let me tell him, if something's wrong with the baby…I don't want it coming from a stranger…no offense."

He chuckled lightly, "Non taken," He smiled and covered her legs with a sheet before pulling her gown up, "Cold." He warned squeezing the jelly on her stomach and rubbing here and there until he could point out the baby on the screen. He tilted his head to the left, moved the paddle over her stomach again, moving his head in the opposite direction and frowned at the screen.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked seeing his expression.

He furrowed his brows, exhaled, "There's a problem."

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Elliot ran down the hallway of the office panting as he made his way to the receptionist, "Hi," he struggled for breath, "Um, I'm here for my wife, I'm late, and she's gonna kill me if I don't get in there."

The receptionist smiled as if this were a common situation she ran into, and it probably was, "Well-"

"Oh, come on." Elliot furrowed his brow, "Please don't tell me I'm too late."

She laughed, "No sir…I need her name."

Elliot blushed, "Might help?"

"Possibility." She smiled, "Let's have it and I'll show you where she is."

"Olivia Stabler, tall, very sexy." He smiled proudly.

The woman laughed again, "Alright, Mr. I'm-In-Love-With-My-Wife," she looked on the hand written chart in front of her, "Your wife is in room 2C, all the way down on your right."

"Thanks." He smiled and trotted down the hall knocking on the door, "Liv? Can I come in?" he waited until the door opened and a male doctor shook his hand, "I think she really wants you right now." He said, "Take as long as you need."

"You're a guy." Elliot furrowed his brow, "My wife's doctor is a female."

"The doctor is out for a couple of months…your wife, needs to speak to you." He reiterated with a soft smile before sidestepping Elliot and walking down the hall.

"Hey," Elliot said walking into the room and stopping seeing his wife sitting on the examination table, slacks and belt unbutton, bra on, blouse crumpled in her lap…tears streaming as she stared at the floor, "Liv?" he closed the gap quickly, "I'm sorry, I'm late, are you upset I'm late?" he asked wiping her tears softly with his knuckles.

It took her a minute to respond, "Hmm?" She furrowed her brow and finally looked up at him, "What?"

"Olivia…what happened? Why are you crying?"

She shook her head softly again as if trying to force her brain to deal with whatever it was that she was struggling with, "I'm sorry, what?"

Elliot saw her goose bumped flesh and slowly took the blouse from her and helped her slip into it, resting his forehead against hers as he button the shirt for her, "Olivia," he closed his eyes bracing for the answer to his question, "Is something wrong with our baby?"

She turned away from him, pawed at her own tear and slid off of the table, "Nothings wrong."

"Your keeping something from me…what is it?" he asked nervously, "Are we not pregnant? Was it a false positive? Did you miscarry…what's going on?"

"Elliot, the doctor said it was routine, I have to come in for an amniocentesis…apparently I'm old." She tried to chuckle softly but there was a flurry of emotion swelling through her eyes, she was keeping something from him, he didn't have a doubt.

"He thinks there's a possibility of downs?"

"Just because I'm close to forty…he's doing it as a precaution, nothing more, nothing less."

"Liv-"

"Can, we go pick up Sam?"

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"Hey, so good to see you two again." Alex smiled opening the door for Elliot and Olivia to enter.

"Thanks." Olivia grinned hugging her tightly, "How are you feeling."

"Better." Alex assured her, "Sam and I did a little of this and that today."

"Mom!" Sam barreled down the hallway.

"Right here." She grinned holding out her arm as he overshot his reach, she pulled him close.

"Hey, handsome, how was school?"

"Boring…B-O-R-I-N-G." he informed her, "Dad?"

"Here." Elliot laughed kneeling down in front of him, "I take it you had a spelling test today?"

"Yeah," He shook his head, "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Why add a silent "E" if no one is gonna hear it?" Sam asked shaking his head, "I don't understand."

Elliot grinned, "I have no idea…I say, lets do away with all the pesky silent "Es" they make stuff too hard."

"Yeah." Sam smiled leaning against Olivia's leg as she carried on a conversation with Alex, "Mom?"

"Wow, Sam," Olivia corrected softly, "We say excuse me if we interrupt a conversation."

"Sorry, excuse me?"

Olivia grinned and shook her head, "Yes?"

"Your different…why?" he furrowed his brow, "Did you have a bad day Mom?"

"No honey." She assured him, "How about you gather your stuff, and we'll get going, Alex and Robert are going out tonight, she has to get ready."

"Okay." He grinned walking away, "Don't forget my cupcakes, Mom."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Cupcakes?"

"Yeah," Alex smiled opening up a small Tupperware container, "He made them for you guys when I picked him up from the center, want one? It'll cost ya a dollar." Alex grinned covering the Tupperware and sliding it to Elliot, "The woman at the center said that he picked up reading brail faster than she's ever seen before, in fact, he's been helping others with it."

"Really?" Elliot grinned, "Hey, Liv, we got a genius on our hands."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "How was he here? Grumpy? He's been a little wound up."

"No." Alex assured her, "He asked what a cupcake was, and I figured, what the hell, got nothing better to do…he got a kick out of it, although I'm pretty sure I let him spoil his dinner."

"Nice." Olivia smiled as Sam leaned back against her, "Your ready?"

"Yeah, I want to see Tripod."

"Hey Alex?" Olivia called before they walked out of the house.

"Yeah?"

"If I'm not catching anything at the station tomorrow, want to have lunch with me?"

Alex smiled thankfully, "Yeah, I could use that."

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"You know that there is gonna be a big fee tacked on for us coming out so late right?" The alarm installer informed Elliot.

"Well, it can't be any bigger than the locksmiths, and this is the only time we could be here so do what ever you have to do." Elliot replied smiling as he heard Olivia and Sam playing in his room.

"Alright, go ahead and sign here to let me start the work, this is where the key pad will go," He said pointing to the front door, "and you said you wanted sensors on the window?"

"Yeah."

"It's extra per window." The young installer informed him.

"Why did I know you were going to say that?" Elliot smirked, "Look, my wife wants to feel safe, so that's what I need you to do, price doesn't matter just make sure it works and make sure my son can reach that control pad…and please tell me you understood that I needed an automated control pad?"

"Yep."

"Let me guess…cost more?"

"Yep."

Elliot shook his head and smiled, "Call me if you need something…and don't blow anything up." He informed the installer as he retreated to stop at the threshold and see Olivia and Sam playing, or at least he thought they were playing, but it was clearly evident Olivia was teaching Sam submission holds.

"Alright, I give!" Olivia laughed tapping the floor as Sam tried his best to keep her wrist secured. "Good hold, little Man." She smiled rolling onto her back as Elliot flopped himself on the bed looking down as Sam rested his head on Olivia's body, both sprawled out on the floor.

"Wow, Sam, you beating up on your mom?" Elliot asked playfully, "That's not very gentleman like."

"No." Sam assured him, "Mom was showing me Shin Fa."

Elliot raised his brows at Olivia, "Gonna turn him into a ninja huh?"

"No." She laughed rolling her eyes and patting Sam on his back as she turned to her side, "Apparently, Sam is having some problems with a bully at school."

"Really?" Elliot furrowed his brow in seriousness, "What happened?"

"He pushes me all the time." Sam whispered, "He's mean Dad."

"Ah," Elliot shook his head, "Did you tell your teacher?"

"Yeah, they told him to leave me alone, but I went to the restroom today and he pushed me again." He bowed his head, "Mom, says karate shouldn't be used if there is a way out…so I walked out and went to Alex's room."

"Wow," Elliot was shocked, "That is very big of you, that's very responsible Sam."

"Mom said she's going to talk to the principal tomorrow."

"Well, I think that's a good idea Sam." Elliot grinned and eyed his watch, "Who's hungry?"

"Not me." Sam yawned, "I'm sleepy."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Didn't you sleep better after you jumped in bed with us?"

"Yeah, but I want to fall asleep soon." He assured them, and then it finally clicked with Olivia that Sam felt safer if he fell asleep while Elliot and Olivia were still up…bad things happen to boys when it's quiet. She exhaled remembering his confession.

Elliot stood to his feet and kissed Sam on the head, "Night, my man."

"Night Dad." Sam smiled and felt for his pajamas that stayed at the foot of his bed, "Mom, will you let tripod in while I change?"

"Yep," She assured him exiting to retrieve his sidekick, only to hear his panicked cries not a minute later.

"MOMMY!" he yelled darting through the house down the hall and tripping over his backpack, scampering on his belly for a fleeting second until she knelt to help him, "There's someone in my room!" he panicked causing Elliot to bolt back to his room throwing open the door, gun raised at…the alarm installer.

"Wow, what the hell!" The young man raised his hands "I came in to put a sensor on the window and he freaked!" The installer tried to explain, "It was quiet, and I thought the room was empty."

Elliot exhaled, holstered his weapon, "I'm sorry." He shook his head, "He's a little sensitive, I should have warned you not to do this room without us…it's gonna cost more isn't it?" Elliot smirked sheepishly.

The installer shook his head, "Whatever man, I just need this last sensor and then I'm getting the hell out of here, I don't get hazard pay you know."

Elliot shook his head in embarrassment and walked back to see Olivia struggling with Sam, blood coming from one of them. "What happened?"

"He tripped." Olivia informed him trying to hold Sam still.

"The boogie man!" he yelled against her shoulder, "He's here again!"

"No baby." Olivia assured him, "He's making it safe for us, he didn't know you were in there, I promise you." She soothed him softly struggling to get to her feet; she sat him on the counter of the kitchen, "Don't move honey." She cautioned him getting a paper towel from the rack, "Elliot, can you run down to that little Ma and Pa shop down the street and pick up some children's Tylenol?"

"Yeah." He agreed seeing the blood from the youngsters lip as she pressed the towel against it and had him hold it. "I'll be back in ten."

Olivia shook her head in acknowledgement and gathered ice in a baggie, "Here baby." She said softly pressing the ice to his lip and pulling him close to her as he sat on the counter, she held him tightly.

"I'm all done Ma'am." The installer said with a sheepish smile as he saw Sam huddled against Olivia.

"Oh." She looked around quickly, feeling Sam tense at the sound of the man's voice, "Um, did my husband talk to you about the price?"

"Yes, ma'am…I have the credit card number." He assured her raising a clipboard up to her.

"Oh, um…you need a signature?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Alright, do me a favor," She grinned, "Stop calling me Ma'am."

He smiled apologetically, "He your son?"

"Yes." She grinned, "He's a little concerned with the Boogie Man right now…thus the confusion." She informed him.

"Ah, I see." The installer laughed softly, "What' his name?"

Olivia pulled him back softly, "Would you like to introduce your self?"

Sam trained his ear and turned in the direction of the man's voce, "I'm Samuel Stabler…if you're not the boogie man…it's nice to meet you." He said softly.

"Samuel….I'm Evan, sure is great to meet you Samuel." He smiled softly, "You look like my little brother."

"Really?" Sam smiled.

"Yeah." The Evan assured him picking up the clipboard and making a few notations, "Mrs. Stabler?"

"Yeah?" she reached for the pen he was offering as she continued to sooth Sam, "I made some adjustments to your fee, voided the service charge for coming out late, and made some adjustments on the cost for extra sensors, and of course I won't charge your husband for trying to kill me." He laughed softly an understanding spoken with out actually being spoken.

Olivia smiled thankfully and signed the paper watching as the young installer explained the procedures, programmed a code she picked and before she knew it he was on his way, and Elliot was twenty minutes past due.

She finally managed to lay Sam's sleeping body back in his bed and tuck him in, kissing him softly on the cheek before she heard the front door open and Elliot walk in. She ran out of the room as the warning beeps from the alarm begin to transmit, she hit a series of buttons and then reset the alarm.

"Hmm," Elliot grinned, "Works huh?"

Olivia laughed, "Looks that way…what took you so long? I need to talk to you and I thought maybe you went on a walk-a-bout."

"Um," He grinned holding up a paper sac with the Tylenol, "I take it he's out?"

"Yep…what took you so long?" She asked again as she turned to walk down the hall, feeling his arms around her waist as he followed.

"How would you feel about a new car?" He asked kissing her cheek.

"Why?" She furrowed her brow then grinned feeling him lower her softly to the bed, "What are you up to?"

"Well," He grinned laying next to her and propping his head on his hand, "it's official, the Acura has blown up."

"What?" She laughed, "Are you serious?"

"Yep…I had to walk back."

She laughed, "Poor baby…what kind of car did you have in mind?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "A big manly truck."

"Oh," She arched her brows, "What if I told you that wouldn't be a good investment?"

He furrowed his brows, "I'd pout until I got my way...what did you want to tell me?"

She slid her body closer, kissing his neck playfully and pushing his shoulder against the mattress so she could straddle his waist, "What if I told you, that you couldn't?"

"Oh, power hungry." He laughed, "Why can't I have a truck?"

"Because I need a car." She smiled kissing his mouth.

"Liv," he kissed her back resting his hands on her hips, "You have the mustang."

"Yep…but I need something…bigger." She whispered.

"Why?"

"Cause, I can't drive the kids and you and me in the mustang." She informed him.

"It seats four…there's four of us." He smiled placing his hand on her abdomen.

She grinned, "Yeah, but when we find Isaac…there will be six of us." She whispered.

He laughed, "I don't know how you passed math, Liv." He smiled looking up at her grinning face, "Four plus one equals five."

She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him delicately, passionately, "And you've never been on time, had you been, you'd know that my math is right on the money." She whispered watching his face, for any indication that he understood what she was trying to tell him.

She watched him mull the count over in his head still confused, "Your wrong Liv." He shrugged his shoulders, "Face it." He teased.

She took his hands in hers, "Me," She said placing his hand on her thigh, "and you, that's two."

"So far so good." He laughed that she was actually fighting him on this simple equation.

"Sam and Isaac…that makes four." She whispered.

"Yep." Elliot grinned placing his hand on her abdomen, "and this little guy makes five…I win."

Olivia's eyes misted, "No." she whispered resting his other hand next to the one already caressing her, "Six…I win."

"Six?" he furrowed his brow looking down at his hands touching hers as if counting in his mind, two hands, means…two babies.

"Six." She whispered covering his hands with hers, "These little guys, make six."


	6. Chapter 6 There Is Such A Thing

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 6 There Is Such A Thing

Olivia's naked body lay covering her husbands protectively, her knees pulled up to either side of his ribs as she struggled to catch her breath her sweat glistened chest against his chest, "You know what?" she panted.

"What?" He whispered through a chuckle as he began stroking her back softly.

"When I'm big and fat, your not going to be able to hold me like this." She grinned.

"I'll think of something." He assured her kissing her cheek softly, "I love to hold you like this…but I'll think of something when the time comes, which would be…?"

"Um, well, the doctor said I'm six weeks along…which explains the flu, huh?" She giggled, and raised her head to meet his face, "I love you, Elliot." She whispered, kissing his mouth tenderly, "I love you so much."

He sat up slowly, smiling at her as he held her hips until they were both comfortable with her on his lap, "Two more, huh?" he grinned, "Wow."

"Yeah," She grinned, "Wow."

"Happy?" he asked pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Happy," she grinned, "overwhelmed, worried…taken by surprise." She laughed, "Two more…wow." She smiled and kissed his lips again.

"Worried? Why are you worried?"

She laughed, "The cost of diapers for two…is gonna be your paycheck alone…how are we going to afford it El?"

"We're good Olivia, we'll keep the mustang, sell the Acura for scrap metal and we'll have to buy a bigger car, we'll have to cut costs here and there, I suppose, but we can do it." He assured her.

"Elliot, I know we're more than capable of doing it right now without adjustments, I've saved enough between both of us, we've sold your apartment, rented out mine…we're good financially, I just…"

"Just what?"

"Two at one time? I almost couldn't make it with only one." She smiled.

"We'll make it, Liv." He assured her softly stroking her cheek and kissing her lips softly, "We'll make it."

"Speaking of making it…you made a boo boo." She smiled softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Sam heard you talking about his shirt…I think his feelings got hurt."

"Oh Liv…it's a girls shirt."

"Then why was it sold in the boys section?" She smiled softly, "He looked handsome…you have to make it right with him, your gonna have to apologize or something."

Elliot exhaled, "I'll talk to him."

She rested her chin on his shoulder and exhaled as he pulled the comforter over them both to keep the warmth in as their bodies finally cooled, "Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

She pulled away to look at him, "No, why?"

"Well…why we're you crying in the doctor's office?" he asked softly.

She laughed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She assured him touching his face, "I was just so happy to hear it that…all I could do is cry." She chuckled, "I wanted to tell you myself, but I didn't want to tell you at a doctor's office," she smiled, "I couldn't even think straight."

He exhaled in relief, "So everything is okay?"

"Yup." She grinned, "But the amniocentesis is still in effect, I have to get it done…totally routine though." She assured him, "I'm fine," She whispered taking his hands and resting them on her belly, "they're fine," she smiled and kissed him through a smile, "we're fine."

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"Hi, I'm here to speak with your principal." Olivia smiled at the receptionist then eyed the clock behind her. Elliot would swing by the precinct and pick up the squad car and pick her up from the school in order to avoid a glare from Cragen over tardiness, which in the long run she knew he didn't particularly care about so long as it was infrequent and didn't mess with a case or their performance.

"The principal will be with you in just a moment, go ahead and have a seat." She smiled motioning to a plastic chair that Olivia sat slowly in, adjusting her jacket to cover both weapon and badge, no need to draw attention to her even if Sam was already in class, she didn't want other students to get wind that his mom was a cop. Who knew how that could play out.

She smiled to herself that her palms were sweating; she hadn't waited for a principal since she punched Douglas Quafin out in the eighth grade for trying to palm her breast, she never took lightly to such an action.

"Mrs. Stabler?" A forty something woman dressed impeccably called for her.

"Yes," Olivia stood to her feet, "how are you?"

"I'm great, how are you?" The woman asked shaking her hand and leading her back to her office. "Please take a seat."

Olivia sat slowly and read her name plaque, "Mrs. Munroe, I'm a little concerned about my son, he's come home a couple of time complaining that other students are bothering him."

"It's a large school Mrs. Stabler, students are bound to have disagreements with other students, it's nothing to worry about." She smiled.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at the principal irritated at the seeming lack of concern, "When my son tells me another student pushed him in the restroom, or mixed his food up so he couldn't eat lunch, or took his cane…I worry."

"Cane? Oh…you're the mom of the little blind boy? He's cute."

"The little blind boy?" Olivia repeated, feeling her body flush with anger, "Is that how you see my son Mrs. Munroe?"

"I think…that came out wrong." The principal blushed, "I like John he's a good boy-"

"John?" Olivia shifted forward, "My son's name is Sam…have you even bothered to look at his file since he's been here?"

"Like I said," The principal motioned to a stack of files, "It's a large school, I read them when I have time."

Olivia nodded her head looking at the stack of files, then at the People magazine that was sticking out from under the desk calendar, "Mrs. Munroe, I've talked to my son and my husband, we've let him know that if there is a way to avoid conflict he should take it…but if there isn't he's allowed to stand up for himself, without punishment from us."

"Mrs. Stabler," The principal lowered her voice and leaned forward mimicking Olivia's tone, "I do not appreciate you coming into my office and condoning violence amongst my students, I assure you, that while you may not punish John, if he so much as throws a punch, he'll be suspended for the maximum time…what makes you so positive John could actually protect himself anyhow? He does have…certain limits does he not?"

Olivia smiled as if starring down a perp; she stood slowly and leaned over the desk, "Mrs. Munroe, my son's name is _Samuel Stabler_ Write it down if you need to." She informed her as she continued to stare, "And what I do not appreciate is the fact that you are too interested in reading People magazine," Olivia nodded to the exposed title, "Instead of the case files of children who need you to keep an extra eye on them, I'm not condoning violence, Mrs. Monroe, I'm encouraging my son to protect himself…when others wont."

"Mrs. Stabler if you thi-"

"Mrs. Monroe," Olivia snatched the magazine from her desk, "I think you have more important things to do." She informed her adjusting her jacket to leave and smiling to herself when the principal's eyes widened once she caught a glimpse of the badge, "I hope when I pick up my son today, he's had a good day."

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Olivia slid into the passenger seat of the sedan, "I haven't been to the principal's office in a long time." She smiled and exhaled, "Got a good magazine out of it though, did you know that Jessica Simpson and her husband split?"

Elliot laughed pulling the car from the curb, "Yeah, where have you been?"

"Reading men's journal." She smiled playfully.

"How'd it go in there?"

"I think we should prepare ourselves for Sam getting suspended." She answered flipping casually through the pages and then deciding that it was making her sick to read and ride at the same time.

"Are you serious?" Elliot asked groaning.

"Yup," She smiled, "I think the principal could care less about the students there, she kept calling him John."

"Oh man." Elliot exhaled, "You don't think Sam would attempt to fight back, what if it makes it worse…do you think he can actually defend himself?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, "I guess we'll find out."

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"How did the lead pan out?" Fin asked as Elliot and Olivia walked into the bullpen.

Olivia lowered herself into her desk chair and massaged her temples, "It panned out into a big, fat nothing." She muttered as Fin nodded his head and made his way into the filing room. She exhaled as Elliot emerged with a 7UP, opening it and placing it casually on her desk before returning to his to complete paperwork.

"Thank you." She whispered with a smile, "I feel like crap."

"You looked a little green." He smiled working on the file in front of him, "Think you can hold down lunch with me?"

Olivia took a small sip of the soda, leaned back and smiled at the almost instant effect it had on her, "El, I'm sorry, can I take a rain check? I told Alex, if we didn't catch anything, I'd have lunch with her today, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." He laughed, "I'll have lunch with Fin." He assured her, "By the way Liv…you still haven't really talked to him."

"Yeah…well…what do you want from me?" She exhaled and tossed her pen onto her desk, "I've been civil and professional." She protested.

"Yes you have," Elliot agreed, "But when are you gonna be his friend?"

She rolled her eyes, "Philosophical."

"I try."

She growled in frustration and took a swig of the soda almost as if it were a beer giving her liquid courage. She grabbed a handful of files from her desk and made her way to the filing room, opening the door nonchalantly and making her way to the first filing cabinet.

"I'll be out in a sec." Fin muttered tossing a file into a handing file and closing the door, "All done."

"Wait. Fin." Olivia exhaled, "Wait…how have…you been?" she asked cramming her hand into her pocket.

"Well, the case load is a little heavier right now, but it'll work itself out." He nodded softly.

"I'm not talking about you're caseload, I'm talking about you…how are you?" She asked again, wishing she had thought to bring the soda with her.

"I'm good…how are you?" he asked almost nervously.

Olivia eyed him, tilted her head to the side and exhaled softly, "Not so good."

Fin furrowed his brow, "Why? Is Elliot treatin' you okay?" He asked looking over her shoulder and out the blinds as if sizing up weather or not he should kill Elliot now or later.

Olivia laughed softly, "Elliot and I are better than ever, but there's a friend that I miss." She told him softly finding it odd that this conversation would have never taken place between the two of them four years ago, she'd grown, she'd taken down unnecessary walls, allowed herself to be exposed, if only for a small portion of her soul to flourish.

"Ironically, I miss Munch too…don't miss the calling in sick, and theories, but I miss having a partner. Have you heard from him?" Fin asked filing some of the files she'd brought in and placed on top of the cabinet.

Olivia smiled softly, "I'm not talking about Munch…I'm talking about you." She whispered and bowed her head, "I'm sorry, that I've been distant and…unforgiving…I understand where you guys were coming from, it just took me a while and then…it took even longer to swallow my pride, I'm sorry Fin."

Never one for sap Fin smiled in acceptance and leaned up against the filing cabinet, "Cragen tells me Samuel is a good kid."

"The best." She grinned, "Want to meet him?"

Fin smiled back as he turned to leave, "Just tell me when and where and I'm there."

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"Well," Alex smiled sitting across the table from Olivia, "at least I'm not the only one that looks like crap."

"Thank you." Olivia rolled her eyes, "Actually, you look a lot better, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing good, doing really good, I think Robert is coming up with anything and everything to keep my mind occupied, he's good to me." She smiled opening the menu and making a quick selection as Olivia did the same, both reciting their orders to the waitress.

"Hey Alex, what's with your school's principal?"

"Ah," Alex smiled, "Lazy, uncaring, taskmaster, scandalous, I'd equate her to Trevor Langdon."

"Ouch." Olivia grinned, "Really scraping the bottom of the barrel aren't you?"

Alex laughed, "I work with her…I know what she's capable of, although I overheard her talking to the receptionists today that a parent ripped into her this morning...but you wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

Olivia laughed, "Guilty as charged."

"What's up?"

"Sam's getting picked on, I asked her to keep an eye on him, to which she didn't really seem to care.'

"That's Munroe, I'll try and keep a closer eye on Sam." Alex assured her.

"Oh, Alex, you don't have too, your not his keeper," Olivia smiled, "I just worry about him."

Alex grinned, "I sit in my classroom at recess and during lunch, he comes in and we do a little bit of this and a little bit of that, he likes to paint on the easels and play with the play dough…he has fun, I have fun…don't worry." She assured her, "Now moving on to bigger and better things."

"Like what?" Olivia furrowed her brow taking a sip of her fountain 7UP.

"Well," Alex smiled and leaned back in the booth, "When were you gonna tell me that your pregnant?"

Olivia had never really seen or experienced the sensation of having a carbonated beverage shoot through her nose as she gagged on it, but here, in front of a best friend and a waiter that was lowering food to their table, she'd done just that. "Ex…excuse me?" she coughed and cleaned herself up with a napkin, dabbing at her blouse, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, please." Alex rolled her eyes, "Come on, I've eaten lunch with you five million times and the only time you drink a soda is when your sick, and no one is sick, with a glow on their face…come on Olivia…you don't have to protect me." She said softly.

Olivia exhaled relieved that Alex has pieced it together her self, she didn't want to have to be the one to tell her. She smiled, "Yeah, I'm pregnant."

Alex beamed, "That's so great! I 'm so happy for you. How far along? Do you know what the baby is?"

"We don't want to know the sex of the babies." Olivia smiled seeing Alex lower her sandwich back to her plate.

"Bab_ies_? Like _two_?"

Olivia grinned, "Like twins."

"Wow!" Alex smiled, "Olivia, that's fantastic! Are you happy?"

"I'm piss my pants happy." Olivia laughed and constructed her own version of a famous commercial, "OBGYN co-payment…fifteen dollars, average cost of collage tuition, twenty-seven thousand dollars…the look on Elliot's face when I told him twins…priceless."

"This is so great!" Alex smiled, "I wish you would have told me sooner."

"Alex," Olivia furrowed her brow, "I didn't want to make you feel bad…I remember how I felt when I lost Isaac and found out Casey was pregnant…it hurts no matter how you try to spin it, and I didn't want to hurt you."

"Hey," Alex smiled softly, "I'm happy for you both, and Robert is going to be happy for you guys too, don't doubt us, yeah it hurts a little, I'm not gonna lie, but your our friends and we're happy for you no matter what life deals us."

Olivia smiled softly, "Thanks."

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"How was your day?" Olivia asked.

"Good, Alex said she was having lunch with you, so I went to the library." Sam told her leaning into Elliot's leg.

"Everything go okay today Sam?"

"Joseph pushed me in the library, I dropped my cane, but I found it and walked away." He said matter of factly, "Are we going to the water today?"

"Yes." Olivia smiled at the fact that he almost seemed happy about it. "How was the center?"

"Good, I read the best." He grinned, "Brail is cool 'cause I'm the only one in my class that can do it and some of the kids talk to me to find out how to do it."

"Ah, too cool." Olivia smiled helping him into the car, she'd never thought of it that way, never thought brail could be cool just because one person was the only one that could do it. She smiled to herself and buckled herself in, "Cool."

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As anxious as Sam sounded about heading to the pool that all changed as soon as they started to walk through the gym doors. His tiny hand tightened around hers causing her to look down and see a trail of silent tears streaming his face, she knelt next to him, "Hey, Big Boy, your daddy bought you some new shorts today while I was at lunch, want to try them on?"

He swallowed and nodded his head letting her lead him back to the locker room before Elliot stopped them, "Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah?" He grinned training his ear to his dad.

"I think your really gonna like those shorts." He said winking at Olivia who simply led Sam back into the locker room.

"Okay baby, quick quick." She smiled, " We're not gonna stay long because you have homework and mom and dad have some homework too."

"Your not in school." He giggled pulling his T-shirt off and draping it on the bench.

"No…but do you remember Captain Cragen?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, he lets us take some of our work home so that we can pick you up from the center on time…pretty cool huh?"

"Yeah." He smiled, "Are you turned mom?"

"Yep." She shook her head, always finding his modesty a little cute. She slipped into her own suit quickly.

"Mom?" He asked holding his pants in front of him, "I need my shorts, you forgot to give me them."

"Sorry," She smiled and rummaged through the duffel bag, pulling out a department store bag that Elliot had scribbled on, _Please make a big deal about this for him_. She furrowed her brow but eventually let them give way to a grin as she pulled out a pair of swim trunks. "Hey Sam, your daddy's got good taste in shorts."

"Really?" he grinned, "What do they look like?"

"Well, real men wear them…and your daddy got them for you, I think your gonna look handsome in them…but I think your Dad might want to tell you what they look like, is that okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." He said grinning and surprising her when he dropped his jeans and reached for her shoulders, "Help me, hurry, I need to talk to Dad."

"Please and thank you?" She arched her brow helping him into his trunks, smiling at his sudden confidence.

"Please help me?" He smiled as she pulled the trunks up to his waist and tied the drawstring,

"There ya go."

"Thank you." He grinned and kissed her hard and fast on the cheek almost pulling her out to the pool where he called for Elliot. "Dad."

"In the pool…ooh, nice shorts!" Elliot grinned then noticed Sam's hesitation when he was too close to the pool's edge.

"Its okay Sam," Olivia encouraged, just like last time, we'll be in the pool with you."

He nodded his head softly, "Daddy," he grinned as Olivia helped him sit at the edge.

"Yeah?" He responded watching Olivia slip her frame into the water.

"What do my shorts look like?" He grinned ever so slowly letting his feet enter the water.

"Well, they look like mine, Sam." Elliot informed him standing up and jumping to sit next to him on the pool's edge. Olivia looked at Elliot and grinned at the revelation.

Sam grinned, "Okay…what do yours look like?"

"Well Sam," Elliot smiled and took his hand, "This part is a soft pink." He blushed embarrassed but let the youngster's hand feel the pattern, "And this part is gray." He informed him letting him feel the strips that ran down the side.

"Pink?" Sam furrowed his brow, "I don't like ballet." He bowed his head.

Elliot swallowed knowing he'd hurt him with the comment about his shirt, "Yeah, well, I was looking at that shirt you wore yesterday, and I wished they made one in my size because you looked really cool in it…but these shorts were all I could find, that we both could wear."

"You liked my shirt?" Sam grinned.

"Loved it!" Elliot assured him slipping back into the water to prevent the chill that was creeping over his body.

"Dad, what does pink look like?"

Elliot furrowed his brow as he pulled Olivia close to him, rubbing her abdomen under the water, "Well, it's like the heat of the stove, but it's soft like your mom's skin." He informed him feeling Olivia reach up and caress his face.

"What's gray?" he asked again.

"Hmm, it's like…Liv, what's gray?"

Olivia smiled softly, "It's when your hearts sad and you don't know why."

"Oh." Sam nodded his head, and reached out, "Mom?"

"Yep?" She made her way to him and grinned as she willingly came to her and held her tight as they continued to conquer a fear.

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"This is so confusing!" Olivia growled slamming a case file shut, "I don't know what we're looking for other than Isaac."

"I know." Elliot assured her rubbing her shoulders, "But, somehow this has to lead us to whoever took him, and since Alex and Paul aren't quite up for talking just yet, we've got to exhaust every possible lead that we have in front of us."

Olivia exhaled and shook her head, "How's Sam?" she asked looking at the clock, "Did he eat while I was asleep?"

"Yep." Elliot assured her, "He cleaned up, put on his pajamas and I tucked him in and finished reading him that Left Behind book you started with him."

"Oh man," She whined, "I wanted to finish it."

"Don't worry, there's like nine more books to it." He assured her, "Want me to tell you the end?"

"Only if you want to die prematurely." She grinned re-opening the file.

"I'll take that as a 'No' then."

"Good call." She laughed then suddenly stopped as she stared at the picture in front of her. "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"What do we know…that no one else knows?"

"Huh?"

She stood slowly and pulled a black dry erase pin from the sill, "Team CrackerJack."

"What about them?" Elliot furrowed his brow.

Olivia stared at the picture of the two beagles sleeping next to her that Elliot had snapped in the early morning, sweet Jack cuddled up against her back while crazy Cracker draped himself over the curve of her hip, "Antifreeze." She whispered.

Elliot's eyes widened at the word and he watched as she wrote it in the almost dead center of the whiteboard she turned to him tapping the pen in her hand, "I'm not sure how it fits…but it fits, this is the key, we figure out who killed 'Team Cracker Jack' and we'll find Isaac."

"Seems too easy." Elliot muttered starring just as intently at the word as Olivia was.

Olivia narrowed her eyes, "It is too easy Elliot, that's why this is gonna be so damn hard." She exhaled and shook her head.

He snaked his hands around her waist and kissed her cheek softly, "What is it?" he whispered.

She wiped a stray tear, "I never…thought I'd be searching for our son, I never thought I'd loose him." She whispered leaning back into his embrace.

"You didn't loose him, we didn't loose him, and Paul and Casey didn't loose him." He whispered, "Someone came into our home and took him from us." She nodded her head and exhaled, "What's our link to Antifreeze?"

"Ready to get back in it?" He asked kissing her cheek.

"Yeah." She nodded her head softly, and positioned herself at the white board poised to write, "What's our link?"

"Cracker Jack." Elliot suggested and watched as she wrote.

"What else?"

"Aaron?"

"Okay." She nodded as she wrote, "What else?"

"Liv…that's all…are we sure the link is Antifreeze?" he asked stepping closer to the board.

She exhaled in frustration, "I don't know El…I think I'm grasping for straws…any suggestions?"

"Let's look at these files again…something's got to jump out sooner or later." He suggested handing her another file.

"I talked to Fin today." She exhaled slouching in her chair and opening the file.

"Yeah? How did it go?"

"Good…he'd like to meet Sam."

"Good…I'd like to catch up with him." Elliot replied, "There's still more, Liv."

"I know." She whispered, "But I can only eat so much crow in one day."

"I think Melinda would like to be back in your good graces." He informed her opening a file; "Shit!" he muttered and closed it quickly.

"What?" She looked up, wide eyed and starring, "What?"

"Nothing." He shook his head.

"Liar." She frowned and reached for the file, tugging for a few seconds until she won it from his grasp. She opened it, and then wished she hadn't. She starred at the burned out wreckage of the vehicle, two adults burned to death, a small infant laying what appeared to be face down in the wreckage, burned…dead. "This was…supposed to be Isaac." She whispered staring at the photo and then turning to the next, her mind telling her to stop, that it couldn't take it, but her hands kept turning the page. Close ups. Overall shots. Burned limbs. Baby bottle. "His diaper bag." She smiled softly at the photo and flipped to the next only to stop abruptly and turn back, "His diaper bag." She reiterated.

"Liv?"

"El, look." She made her way to his side and showed him the picture of Isaac's diaper bag, "It's clean." She whispered pointing to it, "There's no soot, no smoke…it's clean."

Elliot looked at the photo, squinted, and nodded in agreement, "It's clean…what are you thinking?" he asked surprised to look up and see her smiling. He arched his brow in curiosity.

"Elliot, we've known that this baby isn't Isaac, but I've always wondered if that meant Isaac was really alive…if the diaper bag is clean, if it was put there after the fire, and this whole thing was staged-"

"Then someone wanted Isaac." Elliot finished, "They went through the trouble of taking him and trying to pull off a fake death…they _wanted_ him-"

"Which mean…he's probably still alive." She whispered with a small smile, and for the first time Elliot realized the pain she must have carried with her since finding out that the infant they buried wasn't their son. He finally understood that up until this second, she'd wondered if Isaac was truly alive.

It was just as Olivia was about to grab another file that they heard it. The loud, obnoxious, shrill of the Alarm making both detectives drop the files that they held, Olivia's hand knocking over an opened bottle of water as she darted out of the office behind Elliot.

"MOMMY!" Sam's ear cuddling scream made the Olivia's neck hair stand on end as Elliot grabbed his service weapon from the foyer drawer.

"Liv…catch." He said over the sound of the alarm's scream as he tossed her weapon to her.

"MOMMY!" Sam screamed again colliding with leg as she slipped the gun into her waistline and quickly picked him up and rushed him into her bedroom, taking note that alarm had been silenced.

"Sam, listen to me, Baby." Olivia instructed in an anxious whisper as she lowered him into the closet, "Nice and quiet okay, you can't make a sound."

"Mom-"

"Not a sound Baby." She instructed him covering his mouth softly, "You don't open this door for anyone other than me or daddy…remember our word?"

He nodded his head through tears.

She kissed him quickly on his cheek, "I love you, I'll be right back." She whispered, standing quickly and covering him with clothes as she closed the door and moved the hamper in front of it. She eyed the Mag light across the room, grabbed it quickly and withdrew her weapon.

She moved through the house hugging her back to the wall her gun raised, she could vaguely hear Elliot's foot steps on the porch of the house, she moved to the back door turning the Alight on and resting her firing forearm over the wrist of her flashlight hand as she stepped out side skimming the property left and right.

It was the light footsteps behind her that made her pulse race, she extinguished the flashlight gripping it tightly, her trigger finger ready, and the moment her instincts told her to react she did so, turning sharply to her left, extending the flashlight and colliding with something that she wasn't sure of but heard the unmistakable groan of an injured person.

She took an immediate step back leveling her weapon, "NYPD, FREEZE!"

"Liv-" the voice called back in agony.

"Elliot?" She squinted her eyes, turned on the flashlight and saw her husband holding his face struggling to his feet.

"Elliot!" she rushed to him helping him up immediately, "Oh, no…why did you sneak up?" she asked securing both weapons and taking him into the house, taking one last glance about the property before locking the door behind her.

"Here." She placed an ice pack in a towel and placed it at his face, "I'm so sorry." She apologized resting her forehead against his, "I'm so sorry."

Elliot moaned in pain, "Sam?"

"I'll get him." She whispered and kissed his forehead, retreating to find her son.

Olivia opened her bedroom door and felt her heart sink, the hamper had been knocked over, she darted to the closet, "Sam?" she called opening the closet, "Sam!" She called again feeling the panic creep up, "SAM ANSWER ME!" She yelled pulling the clothes out from where she'd left him.

"Elliot!" She yelled, "Elliot, he's gone!" she screamed looking under the bed and finding nothing. She could hear Elliot running through the house opening and closing doors and calling for their son.

"SAM!" She yelled again opening the master bath and looking quickly. Her heart was slowly fading, the thought of loosing another son was too much as she ran to the office, throwing open the door, "SAM ANSWER NOW!" she barked going into the hall bathroom and throwing back the shower curtain, "Damnit!" she ran her hands through her hair fighting the warmth of tears that threatened fall.

"Sam, Baby, your scaring mommy." Her voice cracked as she walked down the hall keeping an ear open for him as Elliot came in empty handed from the living room, "El…I can't find him."

"I looked Liv, where did you leave him?" He panted out of breath, blood streaming from his face.

She felt the panic increase, her breathing increase. She'd lost another son.

"Liv, where-"

"No." She shook her head.

"Liv."

"NO!" She barked silencing him, "Sam!" she called through the house, "Sam, Baby, its mommy, if you can hear me…Peace." She called louder and then listened for a response.

It was faint, but it was there, a precious 'mommy'.

She and Elliot moved quietly through the house, down the hall, "Peace." She called again and then heard it louder.

"Mommy."

They stepped into the nursery, "Peace."

"Mom."

"Crib." Elliot pointed as he crawled on his knees and removed two boxes, sliding them behind him as Olivia lay on her belly starring into precious green eyes.

"Peace Sam, it's mom." She whispered reaching out to him and letting him make his way to her. He crawled into her lap, "The Boogey Man." He whispered clutching her neck.

"Sam," She smiled softly, "It wasn't he boogie man, the alarm tripped somehow, your Dad and I looked all around, your safe honey."

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"Ahh!" Elliot groaned clutching Olivia's hips as she ran an antiseptic cloth over his cheek.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered through misty eyes, "I just…reacted."

He winced again pulling back quickly as she cleaned him with a que tip, "Your gonna kill me before I'm fifty." He smiled softly still digging into her hips, "Stitches?"

"No…don't think so." She whispered.

"Sam?"

"Out like a light…in our room, I didn't think you'd mind."

"No." he groaned again feeling the application of Neosporin, "He wanted to be close to us…I understand that."

"Actually…I asked him." She informed him placing a large band-aid over the wound, "I need to feel him."

He loosened his grip on her and brought her face down to his kissing her softly, "I understand, I don't mind."

She exhaled and cried softly against his forehead, "I thought we lost him."

"So did I." He kissed her softly, "But it's over, I'll call the alarm company tomorrow and have them come look and see why it tripped like that."

She pawed at her tears, "Thank you."

"No need to thank me."

"I'm sorry." She whispered again touching his cheek softly and kissing him tenderly over the band-aid.

He smiled softly, "No need to be sorry."

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Olivia woke early prying Sam's hands from around her and slowly slipping out of the bed. She winced seeing the purple bruising of Elliot's face and decided to give him a few more minutes knowing he would wake up with a headache.

She moved about the house, turning the coffee pot on for him and setting the orange juice on the counter for her. It was the scratching noise at the sliding door that grabbed her attention. It seemed that in all the chaos of last night, Tripod had somehow gotten outside, but wasn't fast enough to get back inside.

Olivia furrowed her brow and made her way to the door opening it only to see the dog scamper off, "Oh come on." She groaned walking out onto the cool deck, "Tripod, come here." She called trying to keep her voice low, until the dog started barking relentlessly. She ran her hand through her hair and muttered a few choice words, "Tripod, it is too cold and too early for this." She complained and then suddenly stopped when Tripod picked up and dropped a tennis shoe in front of him as if presenting a fresh kill.

Olivia made her way to the sneaker wondering why Tripod drug Sam's sneakers outside. But when she got closer and noticed it was a loose fitting Nike she crouched low, took note that it didn't belong to anyone in her home. She looked to her left, and noticed Sam's window slightly cracked, Olivia swallowed hard, standing slowly and looking at the flowerbed below Sam's window, a clue that perhaps the Boogie Man did exist…footprints.


	7. Chapter 7 Contact

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 7: Contact

"Mom?" Sam peeked his head outside of the sliding glass door, "Mom, are you here? Something is wrong with dad!" He yelled out side.

Olivia looked up at her son and furrowed her brow as she stood with the Nike in hand and made her way to him, "Sam, what is it?"

"It's Dad, something is wrong, he fell and woke me up, and told me to get you." Sam said anxiously, "Please, Mom, something is wrong."

Olivia moved quickly to the back of the house only to find Elliot, collapsed face down in the middle of the hallway.

"Elliot!" She rushed to him, kneeling next to his body, "Sam, go get me a towel Honey, and a glass of cold water…now, Baby, fast."

"El?" She shook him softly, "El, wake up, it's Liv." She shook him again and forced him over onto his back, his wound oozing blood far worse than the night before, his face battered, "El, Damnit…stop playing with me." Her voice broke just as Sam came back.

Olivia took the glass of water and poured it over his face hearing him groan in a mixture of shock and pain, "Liv…happened?"

"I don't know." She informed him taking the towel and dabbing his face gently.

"Diz…zy." Elliot said with fluttering eyes.

Olivia looked around for anything to help her get him to her feet when she realized the streak of blood on the wall just above him, "El…listen to me, did you get up and feel dizzy? Did you fall against the wall?"

He swallowed and tried to sit up with her help, "Spinning." He muttered as she dabbed the cloth at his face and realized what probably happened was that he'd gotten up, felt dizzy, and fell against the wall, opening his would right up.

"Well, you need stitches _now_." She smiled softly, "Think you can stand?"

He groaned and tried to get to his feet, the pounding in his head, the sharp and terrible pain in his face, "Wow." He muttered bracing himself against the wall and reaching out to grab her shoulder, "Wow." He muttered again. "Pain."

"I know," She whispered, "Come on, sit on the couch." She told him quickly, "Let me slip on some clothes and I'll get you some pants." She informed him and turned to Sam, "Sam, go put on play clothes, you're playing hooky today, at least for the morning."

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"Oh, you again." The doctor smiled at Elliot who seemed much more alert than he was this morning.

"A glutton for punishment." Elliot smirked at the doctor who had the privilege of working on his hands after Elliot had brutalized the shed.

"You a bouncer?" The doctor chuckled putting on a pair of latex gloves.

"My Daddy's a policeman." Sam chirped in, "So is my Mom." He informed him.

"Oh," The doctor smiled, "Very cool."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam grinned and rested his head on Olivia's body.

"Well, let's take a look see, shall we?" The doctor smiled and inched his way closer to Elliot as he sat on the stool. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Ah, just a freak accident." Elliot shrugged, slowly lowering the towel to reveal a mangled mess of brused and bloodied flesh.

"Wow, some accident." The doctor smiled and gently touched just under Elliot's eye where the cheek bone seemed to have sustained the brunt of the blow.

Elliot hissed in air and winced pulling away from the doctor, "Ahh!" he barked.

"Yep," The doctor sighed, "Not good."

"Not good?" Olivia furrowed his brow, "What do you mean, 'not good'?"

"Mr. Stabler," The doctor placed Elliot's toweled hand back over his face, "I'm sending you up to X-ray, I'm pretty sure you broke your cheek bone."

"Broke?" Olivia frowned, "Are you serious?" She asked wincing and looking at Elliot with eyes that begged for forgiveness.

Elliot groaned, "Liv, you're killin' me here."

"El," She closed the gap between them as the doctor completed his chart, she gently rested her forehead against his, her hands on his chest, "I'm so sorry."

He smiled softly and chuckled lightly, "I know you didn't mean it…that'll teach me to sneak up on you."

She forced a small laugh and kissed him tenderly on the corner of his mouth, "Forgive me?"

"Always." He whispered back.

"Alright," The doctor found himself smiling at the gentleness of the two before him, "I'm gonna take Rocky here, up to X-Ray, Mrs. Stabler, you and your little one can have a seat in the waiting room and take a look at our out dated reading material if you'd like."

Olivia smiled, bowed her head and turned to Sam, "Come on Sam, let's go hunt down some ice cream."

"Yes!" Sam grinned and slid off the chair as she placed his hand at her elbow and led him out of the examination room and into the hall. "Mom?"

"Yeah, Baby?"

"I'm tired…didn't sleep so good."

"Well," She smiled and crouched down in front of him, "would you like to sit here and I'll go ice cream hunting?"

"Where do you have to go?"

"Just to the nurses station it's about fifty feet away…is that cool?"

"Cool." He smiled as she lifted him up into the hard plastic chair and ran her hand through his hair, "I'll be back in ten." She smiled and walked to the nurse's station.

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Alex nuzzled herself closer to Robert, her head hidden in the crook of his neck, the warmth of his breath over the crown of her head. She was wide-awake; he was off in dreamland. She was sleeping slightly better, although the reoccurring dream that she gave birth to a little girl, only to have her die in her arms as soon as she was placed there.

She hadn't made love to her husband since then, felt ashamed that he still wanted her in spite of her inability to keep they're baby alive, she wanted to feel him again, wanted to have his skin against hers, the doctor's hadn't given her a clean bill of health to do so, but, she's never been one to follow doctor's orders.

She kissed him on his naked chest, smiling that he sleeps without his shirt only because she loves him that way. He sacrifices for her. He's always willing to forsake his needs for her's, forsake his comfort in order to make her comfortable. She's lucky to have him and she knows it.

She traced his clavicle with her tongue, stopped to suck softly at the base of his neck and blow equally as soft, creating a sensual contrast in temperatures. He stirs slightly, a smile playing on his lips as his eyes open and flutter shut. "Hello gorgeous." He whispered pulling her flush against him, "How are you?"

She smiled against his lips, "I woke up this morning," she kissed him affectionately, "and I'm good."

"Really?"

"Yeah…I feel good." She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him delicately, sucking softly on the bottom of his lip, pressing her body closer to his as she deepened the kiss, feels his hand roam her back. She separated from him gently, "Make love to me."

He smiled softy and rested his hand on her abdomen, "Are you sure? The doctor hasn't given you the go ahead." He reminded her softly, "I want to make love to you…but I don't want to hurt you." He pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I want to make love to my husband." She whispered nibbling softly on his lip as she shifted her weight and straddled his thighs, "trust me that I know if my body is ready…I want to make love to you." She murmured over his lips.

Robert laced his fingers with hers, "Well," he grinned gently squeezing her hands, "since you put it that way."

She grinned looking down at him watching him separate his hands from hers and walk his fingers along her thighs, up her ribs, splaying his hands so that his thumbs grazed her clothed nipples. He smiled as her eyes closed, her head tilted to the side enjoying the warmth of his hands on her body, "You are so sexy, Al."

She beamed at his remark and lowered her body against his, "Your pretty hot yourself." She whispered, "But, you know what would make you even hotter?"

He arched his brow and smiled, "You mean besides my wife straddling my thighs and teasing me by keeping her shirt on?"

"Yeah, besides that." She chuckled rubbing herself into him, watching his eyes widen in pleasure.

"What?" he groaned feeling her weight against him, giving him no choice but to increase under the pleasure of her body over his.

"You…without your boxers…loose'em." She whispered through a grin and rolled off of him, "better hurry," she smiled playfully, "school's gonna start soon." He dropped his boxers and crawled across the bed to her, as she playfully slung shot her panties to the corner, "Times ticking, Mr. Gray."

He covered her body with the heat of his own, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." She whispered, "I'm sorry, I've been distant."

He brushed her hair away from her eyes, "Don't ever feel like you have to apologize," he whispered kissing her delicately before making his way along her neck, "we lost our baby, but we kept each other." He whispered pulling her shirt over her head. "We still have one another." She murmured over her breast before taking her nipple into his mouth and caressing its perfect twin with the warmth of his palm, "Don't ever apologize." He whispered tonguing her body as she arched off the mattress.

"I need you." She whispered, "I need you so much."

He hovered over her body, his lips at hers, his hips over hers, "I'm right here."

She pulled him into a bruising kiss and separated breathless, "Not slow…I need you now, I've missed you." She whispered in a voice coated with desire.

"Tell me what you want." He told her softly, nipping at her lips and chin as he rubbed gently into her, hearing her voice hitch as he moved over her.

She smiled slyly and shifted her weight again pinning his shoulders to the mattress, before reaching down between them and guiding him into her, moaning as he stretched her and filled her with himself, "This is what I want." She breathed rocking her hips forward and back, her hands on his abdomen.

"No, complaints." He smiled placing his hands on her hips and settling into a rhythm that was uniquely their own, gentle in the beginning, feeling every inch of each other, as their bodies warmed and grew flush, but it was when she moaned, rolling her head back, it was when she leaned back, her hands behind her to support her weight as he thrust into her that their rhythm, increased slightly faster, slightly harder as moans were answered with moans that turned into whimpers as he pulled her hips against him, thrusting harder into her body.

He looked down between them as she moaned and brought herself back up to sit in his lap, he smiled watching him slip in and out of his wife, he smiled hearing her whimper as he caressed her derriere in small circles separating globes of flesh before meshing them together as he thrust harder, "Come, Al."

"Come…with me." She panted, "Harder."

He happily obliged grunting into her neck as he brought his hips against hers, "I'm close, Al."

"Faster." She whined against his chest, digging her nails into his back.

He winced as her nails dug into him, "I'm coming." He panted.

"Harder…faster…more." She groaned feeling him plow into her, his forehead resting on her breast as he invaded her with every inch of himself until her body tensed and she cried out against him hearing him groan out his own orgasm, biting into her cleavage as he released himself into her with one last convulsion.

She tried to move from him but he winced and held her over him, "No," he chuckled softly, "You worked me over…I'm…a lit-"

"I understand." She whispered and reach down between them gently taking him at his base and slowly rising from him, watching as he arched his back at the contact and sucked in air. "You okay?" She asked softly.

He grinned, "More than okay." He assured her.

"Good." She whispered reaching down and touching herself before resting her fingers at his mouth. She could feel her body ready to come again as he sucked her finger, tasting her as if he were pulling directly from the source. He smiled and brought his hand between them both as he released one finger and moved to the next, he stroked at her already sensitive core.

She whimpered at the contact and rested her forehead on his shoulder as he sucked and rubbed, the dual sensation sending her into ecstasy as she came fast and hard screaming and biting in the hopes of muffling her cries.

She laid over him, panting and struggling to gain her bearings as he continued to stroke her back, trail his fingers over her bear derriere and kiss her gently on her cheek, "You almost killed me." He whispered with a small laugh.

She pulled herself up, patted his abdomen and laid next to him, "I knew you could handle it."

He laughed and cupped her face, kissing her gently, "Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"No." she answered honestly, "But…I think we're gonna make it."

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"Sir," The nurse exhaled, "You we're bitten by a dog, you need a tetanus."

"Just stitch it up." He snapped.

"We'll, as much as I'd love to stitch you up and send you on your grumpy way, I need a doctor to look at that wrist."

"It's fine."

"Right," She rolled her eyes, "And these cuts along your arms are cool too?"

He stared at her and growled, "Just. Fix. It."

She exhaled, "Climbing fences is upper body work…you tried to use your legs and got caught up when the dog bit you, didn't you?"

He glared at her, "Fix it."

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Sam sat patiently letting his feet swing freely beneath him. He liked the nurse that came and talked to him for a few fleeting seconds, her voice was nice, it's tambre almost like Olivia's, just slightly higher and she didn't smell as nice, but her touch was soft. She'd told him that Olivia had to go down to the cafeteria for the ice cream because the nurse's station was fresh out. He shrugged his shoulders and told her he was a big boy that could wait for his Dad.

It was just as he was pulling out his walkman to occupy his time that he smelt it, he felt his body tense, his tiny palms start to sweat and when the cheap aftershave stung his nose, he knew it wasn't his Daddy that set next to him, he knew it wasn't his daddy, or the nice Captain that his Mommy loved, he knew it wasn't Robert when the man put his arm around him, and when Sam felt the warmth of his own urine run down his legs and tap into a puddle below him, he knew it wasn't Paul, who'd just bought him a shirt. He'd prayed it was Alex or Casey, but when the man dug his hand into his shoulder and leaned down to whisper in his ear, he knew it was the Boogieman that set next to him.

"I'm going to kill your dog, Sam." He whispered in his ear, "He hurt me, so I 'm going to hurt him."

Sam swallowed hard keeping his ear trained for Olivia, she was wearing her sneakers today and she had a tendency to screech the soles against the floor. They were her Adidas; different from the boots she wore to work. Sam was listening for the screech…praying for it.

"Your Mommy doesn't want you Sam." He whispered, "Your Daddy doesn't like you."

Sam mustered his energy and whispered gruffly, "Not true."

"Very true…they told you the boogie man didn't exist…yet here I am talking to you, they lie to you Sam." He continued to hold him harshly on the shoulder, "But that's okay, because I hurt your mother…I have her son."

A lone tear fell from Sam's eye, "I'm her son." He whispered.

"No." The boogie man chuckled and leaned closer to Sam so that his breath was over him, "Your just a replacement."

And just as quickly as he came he left.

"Olivia." Sam swallowed; his breath was fast, "Olivia." He called louder, "Olivia!" he screamed then felt gently hands trying to calm him, hands that weren't her's, "NO!" he screeched and kicked, fighting with all that he had until no one was touching him and there was a soft whisper in his ear.

"Sam." Elliot spoke softly, "It's you're Daddy."

"NO!" he barked trying to flee but feeling Elliot behind him, wrapping his arms around him and holding Sam's tight at his side so that he didn't hit Elliot's stitched face.

"Sir-" A nurse tried to cut in.

"No." Elliot barked, "He's my son, leave him." He instructed as Sam pulled up his legs and kicked into the atmosphere, biting down on Elliot's arms.

"Sam!" Olivia turned the corner and immediately dropped the ice cream she was carrying as she sprinted to her family, screeching her shoes on the floor, and as if that were an off switch, Sam calmed himself only enough for Elliot to release him.

"Olivia?" Sam reached out for her and squeezed her arm tightly making her wince softly.

"Right here, baby…what happened?" She asked looking at Elliot who was equally confused.

Sam sobbed and pulled her down so that she was kneeling, he wedged his tiny frame between her legs and cried hard into her chest.

"What is it, Sam, what happened Baby? Did I take too long, did I scare you?" She asked picking him up as she stood and then whishing she hadn't when she found that he wet himself. He cried harder knowing she'd made the discovery, "It's okay, sweet boy," She assured him without skipping a beat, "I know you're real scared, I'm not upset." She tried to calm him.

A nurse was nice enough to lead them into an empty room, "Take all the time you need." She whispered before bowing her head and walking away.

Olivia sat on the bed as Elliot sat on a chair and watched Sam cry bitterly into her chest, "Talk to me sweetheart what happened?" Olivia whispered stroking her back and feeling him tighten his embrace around her, the urine soaking though her shirt to her abdomen, as a nurse walked in and placed several pairs of scrubs on the bed.

"We cut these for him so they'll fit." She whispered and held up a bag, "You can put your laundry in these."

"Thankyou." Elliot whispered as the nurse walked out.

"Sam," Olivia tried to coax him into a conversation, "What happened? When I left you we're happy…why are you sad? What's hurting your heart Baby?"

He remained silent except for his cries that seemed like they would never end. Elliot stood and changed out of his urine soaked clothes and into scrubs.

"Sam, let's get you changed." Olivia whispered kissing his head softly, "I love you." She assured him standing him on the mattress and changing him into the clothes the nurse had customized for him. "Can you go to Elliot?" she asked wanting to change her self.

He pressed his lips together and simply sat on the bed. Olivia frowned and exhaled looking at Elliot who simply shook his head in confusion. She changed quickly depositing everyone's clothes into the bag and running her hands through Sam's hair as Elliot took the bag, "Ready to go home?"

Sam remained silent and crawled into her embrace as she picked him up, he was small, but he was growing, and while she wanted to put him down she knew he'd protest so to adjusted his weight and walked out as Elliot wrapped his hand around her waist.

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"You broke me." Elliot chuckled softly sitting behind Olivia on the bed and massaging her shoulders, "Have you called Cragen?"

"Yeah." She whispered and exhaled, "I'll take your medical excuse in tomorrow, he's allowing me to be on call, providing I take files home to work on."

"He's gonna be okay." He assured her kissing her back softly.

"It's been hours and he hasn't said a word to us." She reached back and gently touched his face, "What did the doctor say? You feel asleep as soon as we got home."

He wrapped his hands around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder so that his good cheek rested against her face, "Said whoever hit me fractured my cheek bone and I'll be big and puffy for awhile."

She sobbed softly, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be…it's kind of funny really."

She scoffed, "Only you would think it's funny."

"Sexy too."

"How's that?" She grinned.

"Hey, nice to know my wife can reek such havoc." He teased and kissed the back of her neck, "He'll be fine."

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Three days later Olivia hesitantly knocked on Sam's door, "Honey, can I come in?" she knew he wouldn't answer, "I'm opening your door." She warned and peeked her head in to see him laying on his side, Tripod snuggled tight into his body, "You awake?" she asked and then laughed when he shook his head 'No'. "Sure you're not awake?" she grinned at his innocence.

"Alex came by." She informed him sitting softly on the edge of his bed, "She dropped your homework off, so you don't get behind in school."

He rubbed Tripod's ear and exhaled.

"Can I lay down with you Sam?" She asked softly.

He didn't answer buy moved Tripod over, disturbing the dog who simply groaned and rolled over, he moved himself over and simply let her draw her own conclusions, She laid next to him and put her hand over his tummy drawing him close, "Hey…did you know I love you." She whispered through a smile.

"No you don't." he whispered pushing her hand away. It was his first words in three days and they stung…badly.

"Sam, you know I love you…why do you think I don't?"

"You lied to me, Olivia." He whispered again pulling Tripod closer to him as he cried softly, "You lied."

She furrowed her brow, "About what, Sweetie?"

"You said…there was no boogieman."

She closed her eyes and exhaled, "I didn't lie Sam…but I was wrong, I admit I was wrong Baby and I'm so sorry."

"What does replacement mean?" he asked stroking his puppy's tummy.

"Well, that's a weird word, did you hear it on your tapes?"

"What does it mean?" he asked again.

"Well, lets say your cane broke…we would replace it by giving you another one…the new one is what we call a replacement." She informed him wondering what his little mind was trying to put together.

He pawed away a tear, "If you had something you really loved and you lost it you could get another one…even though you love the other more?"

It took her a second to make sense of her question, but it made sense, "Yeah, you could do that."

Several minutes past before the bomb hit, "Am, I your replacement because you lost your boy?"

"What?" she couldn't help but feel insulted but she checked her emotion quickly, "Honey, why would you think that?"

"Am I a replacement?" he asked again.

For a moment she wondered if it was possible for him to acquire her stubbornness, Elliot's persistence. "You are not a replacement." She assured him, "You are Samuel Stabler, you are my Son." She kissed the back of his head and rubbed his arm softly, "I had a son once Sam, and yes…I lost him, but your not a replacement for Isaac, because no one can replace Isaac…just like no one could replace you." She whispered into his ear and, while it was faint, his lips began to curl.

Olivia walked her fingers along his leg and smiled as she teased him, "The itsy bitsy spider, crawled up Samuel's leg and…" she paused as he moved to protect his stomach, a grin plastered on his face, and right when he relaxed she pounced, "got him in the gut!" she laughed tickling his tummy softly and smiling as he sat up and wrapped his arms around her.

She exhaled, "Can you talk to me? Tell me what happened at the hospital? Alex sure misses you at school?"

He sniffled and buried his face in her neck unwilling to talk. She smiled feeling him walk his fingers along her leg quietly and rest his hands on her abdomen, "Maybe a boy…I think a boy," he furrowed his brow, "No, a girl, yeah a girl." He nodded.

Olivia smiled, and as much as she wanted to tell him that he was gonna have two little brothers or two little sisters to keep an ear out for, she would wait until Elliot was with her to see his reaction. "You know what little Man?"

"What?"

She grinned, "You stink."

He laughed and pointed to himself, "Me?"

"Yeah you…you haven't wanted to shower since the hospital." She laughed reminding him that he desperately needed a bath; she didn't push him when they'd got home but she did convince him to let her at least clean him up with a warm cloth to at least get the urine off of his body. When she suggested a shower, things got ugly and she backed off.

"Can I wear my boxers to sleep?" He asked sliding off the bed as Tripod followed.

"Yep." She agreed and followed him to the bathroom.

"Alright," she chuckled turning the water on, "let's hurry and you can watch Sponge Bob with your Dad while I get some work done."

"Okay." He agreed and pulled his shirt off slowly, a small moan escaping his lips as he lowered his arms.

She furrowed her brows, "Sam? You okay?"

"Yeah." He assured her turning around to face her and hearing her gasp.

"Sam," She kneeled in front of him looking at the bruising pattern on his shoulder that was evidence that a large hand had been there…on her son, "Baby, does this hurt?" she asked gently applying pressure and wincing at his whimper.

"Owie." He winced.

"I'm sorry…want Mommy to kiss it and make it feel better?"

Sam smiled and nodded his head.

Olivia leaned close a tear coating her cheek as she kissed his shoulder softly, "There. All better?"

He smiled, "Thank you."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

She gently grazed his shoulder with her fingertip, the hand was big but not big enough to be Elliot's, not that he would ever do something like this, "Who did this to you?"

Sam covered her hand with his own small paw and leaned into her ear, "The Boogieman came to the hospital."


	8. Chapter 8 Where Are You Going?

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 8 Where Are You Going?

Olivia took in a deep breath and smiled softly not knowing what to make of her son's confession. "Sam?"

"Mom?"

She smiled softly at his response, "Honey, can you try real hard and tell me everything that this man told you…can you tell me everything you remember like smells or touches?"

Sam exhaled and fidgeted with the waistband of his boxers, "Is Alex still sad?"

Olivia pressed her lips together; he was done talking about it, "Yeah Baby."

"Her heart hurts?" he asked holding on to her for balance and pulling his boxers off, depositing them in the hamper.

Olivia helped him into the shower, "Her heart is broken."

Sam stepped under the water and reached out to her before she could close the door, "You have to fix it, Mom."

Olivia exhaled, "Baby…there are some things that I don't know how to fix."

He felt for his scrubber, "Fix it."

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"Elliot?" Olivia called to him as soon as she'd left Sam to finish his shower.

"Mmm?" He groaned from the couch.

"El, I need to talk to you…can you? Or are you not feeling well?"

"I've got a killer headache…something about my wife trying to kill me." He chuckled softly.

She smiled softly and kissed him tenderly on the corner of his mouth, "Please…I really need to talk with you."

He pushed himself up on the couch, "How about some Aleve and thirty minutes for it to kick in?"

She smiled, kissed him again, "Deal…but can I ask you something?"

"Make it 'yes' or 'no'." he smiled softly and lay back onto the couch cushion.

"Do you think Alex would kill me if I told Casey she was pregnant?" She asked handing him his pills and water.

"Why would you do that?" Elliot groaned taking the medicine and handing the drink back.

"More, your stomach is empty." She told him pushing the water back to him.

He smirked and drank as she talked.

"I just think Casey could help her, I can sympathize but I think Case could empathize…really be there for her."

"I think that you better play your cards right, or a lot of people are gonna get hurt." He informed her.

"What am I supposed to do El? Alex is hurting and I don't know how to help…we lost Isaac, but it's-"

"Different. I know." He nodded touching her thigh softly, "All I'm saying is, ask before putting your neck on the chopping block…or it'll end up on a platter."

Olivia exhaled and nodded her head, "Thanks." She smiled and stood to leave.

"Hey!" He grinned, "That's not all you wanted to talk about is it?"

"No." She shook her head, "I really do need to talk with you, the last few days have been crazy, but let the Aleve take effect, I'm going to call Casey and after I put Sam to bed, we'll talk…deal?"

"Deal…thanks for having mercy on me Liv."

She smiled slyly and leaned to kiss him, her tongue tracing the contours of his lips, "Better heal quick."

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Olivia dialed Casey's phone number as she laid a towel on the lid of the toilet and informed Sam of where it would be; she tucked the phone between her shoulder and ear as she draped Sam's pajamas over the sink also informing them of where they were.

"Novak's this is Paul." Someone finally picked up as Olivia walked out of the bathroom and paced in her room, both waiting for Sam to finish as well as worrying about the conversation that would take place.

"Hey Paul, it's Liv."

"That's what the caller I.D. Said." He chuckled, "How can I help you?"

Olivia heard the labored cries of Addison in the background and smiled softly, "Um, I was hoping to catch Casey, but if it's a bad time, I can call back." She informed him half hoping it was a bad time so that she didn't have to ask her best friend to confess to loosing two babies so that her other best friend could have some peace.

"She's nearby. Hold On a sec?"

"Sure." She murmured taking note that the shower water had since been turned off; she angled the phone away from her mouth, "Sam, you okay?" When there was no answer she knocked on the door, "Can I come in?" She furrowed her brow at the silence, but was soothed immediately when she cracked the door and saw him drying quietly. It seemed Sam was back to pleading the fifth.

She exhaled just as Casey came on the line, "This is Casey."

"Well, took you long enough." Olivia chuckled, "You busy?"

"Um…Addison has the chickenpox."

"Ouch!" Olivia laughed, "That sucks."

"Yep. What's up? Is Elliot okay? You sound tense." She asked.

Olivia was aware that the connection had become clearer and much quieter, she assumed Casey must have walked into her office to get some privacy, "I, um…I…" she rolled her eyes as she stammered.

"Is it Sam? I talked to Alex yesterday and she said he's been at home for a few days…is everything okay, Olivia?"

"How's Alex?"

"Distant. Now, stop changing the subject, what's up?"

"What do you mean by distant? Did she talk to you at all?" Olivia asked anxiously.

"Olivia," Casey exhaled, "Alex, seems like she's having a hard time, but she's about as stubborn as you and I, we went out, had some coffee but she never said anything, now stop changing the subject, what is going on?"

Olivia growled in frustration, "Casey, I'm gonna ask you something that you're gonna hate me for."

"Oookay." Casey agreed hesitantly, "What is it?"

"Well, I was hoping you could help me…well not me, more like a friend?"

"With what?"

"Um…Ah, Case, there's no easy way to ask you this. I have a friend who recently had a miscarriage, and I was wondering if you might…talk to her?" she suggested hesitantly as Sam finally made his debut from the bathroom, a brush in hand.

She took notice of Casey's silence on the other end of the phone as she placed a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder and led him back to the bed as she sat and he wedged himself between her legs, his back to her. "Casey? I'm sorry if it's too much-"

"Who is it?" Casey asked softly.

Olivia exhaled running the brush slowly through Sam's hair, "I haven't talked to her yet, I wanted to make sure you were even up for it first, I don't even know if she'd be up for it."

"Oh." Casey responded then remained silent as Olivia continued brushing Sam's hair, even though it didn't necessarily need brushing. She speculated he just liked the feeling of the brush, and perhaps the closeness of being next to her while she did it.

"Casey," Olivia exhaled, "It's perfectly okay, if you can't."

"No, um…tell her…tell your friend I'm willing to help if she needs it."

Olivia smiled softly, "Casey?"

"Oh," Casey groaned, "Tell me it's not someone I know."

"It is." Olivia exhaled, "Would you mind?"

Casey exhaled on the other end, and Olivia could hear the gruffness of her voice as it cracked under her emotion, "No…no I don't mind. Let me know if she agrees."

"I will." Olivia whispered absently brushing the same stoke over Sam, "Maybe I should let you go?"

"Actually, I was going to call you tonight." Casey cleared her throat.

"Oh yeah? What for?" Olivia asked switching the phone to the other shoulder and drawing Sam into her lap.

"A couple of things, first…did Isaac have the chicken pox?"

"No…sorry, we didn't have him long eno-" She stopped mid sentence at the prick she felt in her heart. She didn't' have her son long enough to experience chickenpox. A condition most parents loath, but a condition Olivia wanted to be able to go through with Isaac. Only now, she was more aware that someone else probably got to do that, got to rub her son with a soothing lotion, got to wrap his tiny hands and rock him in the middle of the night. Some else got to.

"I'm sorry," Casey, groaned, "That was a bad question."

"No." Olivia smiled into the phone, holding Sam against her chest, "It's fine, but I remember reading a book on the common things to expect, try calamine lotion and remember to keep his hands wrapped, and drink lots of coffee because your not gonna be sleeping." Olivia chuckled softly, absently placing a kiss on Sam's head as he began to fight sleep. "What else did you have on your mind?"

"Um, actually…it's about Paul."

Olivia's body stiffened immediately, was he going to back out on telling them what happened that night? "Is everything okay between you two?" She asked hoping her voice sounded neutral.

"Um…well," Casey stalled and Olivia could picture her fidgeting with a pencil at her desk before resting her forehead on the desk.

"What's up?" Olivia asked trying to sound joyful.

"Can I ask you something that is entirely too personal and will probably make us both blush the next time we see each other."

"Oh, great, just what I wanted." Olivia chuckled, "What is it Case?"

"Um, this is totally none of my business but we've never experienced it before, even in our early marriage, when we practically hated each other and I think it makes Paul feel like less of a man, and I don't-" She exhaled, "I'm rambling aren't I?"

"Yep." Olivia smiled, "But I think I've deciphered what you're asking. Are you and Paul having some problems with sex?"

"Yeah." Casey exhaled, "He's so tense and antsy that he can't…um, crap, I feel like I'm selling him out." She groaned.

"Casey," Olivia chuckled, "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul, and I'm trusting that this is just between you and I?"

"Yeah." Casey agreed.

"We've both had some problems and it usually comes down to stress and worry about something…talk to him, know that it's not something wrong with you, and go from there." She encouraged taking the hem of her shirt and wiping the drool that was starting to come form Sam's mouth.

Casey exhaled, "Thanks…I suppose I know what the culprit is then."

"Can you share?"

"Well," Casey paused, "He's ready to talk with you and Elliot, but I don't think he knows how to ask you guys to meet with him, I see him dial the phone then hang up. When I check the number it's always your house phone or cell phones."

"Well," Olivia thought quickly not wanting to give them an out, not if he's willing to talk, she needed to know, and while he was they're friend, she was starting to grow anxious for the information that he held, "Why don't we come to you guys?"

"What do you mean?"

"Alex and Robert love having Sam around, I can probably get them to watch him, we'll come to you guys, a dinner maybe, and if he wants to talk he can, if not…we'll have to wait."

"Olivia, I'm sorry he's taking so long." She said apologetically.

"Don't you dare be sorry." Olivia assured her, "He needs time too…you we're both victimized as well…we'll all beat this, it's just gonna take time and patience on all of our parts."

"It's hard."

"Yes it is." Olivia agreed, "Look, let me call Alex and ask, and I'll let you know tomorrow. I have to stop by the precinct and file some things and pick up some files…sound good?"

"Yeah…Olivia?"

"Yep?"

"Call me about your friend too?"

Olivia exhaled, "Absolutely."

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Olivia brought the blanket over Sam's body and kissed him softly on the forehead. She helped Tripod onto the bed and watched as he snuggled close to Sam and exhaled with a sneeze before closing his eyes. Olivia and Tripod had come to an agreement, she'd look past his appearance and stop assuming he wouldn't be a good dog, and he'd continue to make her son smile, he'd continue to keep him safe. She ruffled the dog's ears and padded softly out of the room.

Elliot lay snoring on the couch, a sure sign that he was exhausted, and he should be. The medicines made him vomit, an act that was excruciating when your cheekbone was fractured. He couldn't eat well, and the percocet made it almost impossible to hold a serious conversation with him, a conversation that needed to take place as soon as possible. The fact that someone had actually touched her son as roughly as they did infuriated her in an instant. There were leads all over the place and she needed to pick her partner's brain, but she knew rest meant faster healing. She smiled remembering that he said he didn't sleep well because he couldn't hold her unless they switched sides of the bed and he knew his side hurt her back. _We're both crazy._ She grinned and opted to let him sleep as she retrieved the phone again and dialed Alex's number as she moved about the house cleaning up a few odds and ends that Sam still had trouble with, he'd mastered the toothpaste, but the floss…oh the floss.

"Hello?" Came a sniffling voice.

"Alex?" Olivia furrowed her brow and dropped the gob of used floss into the trash, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Liar…you're crying, what's wrong?"

"Olivia, I'm just…we'd ordered a crib for the baby last month…it came today." She whispered before crying again.

Olivia closed her eyes and exhaled, "What can I do for you?"

Alex groaned, "Nothing, it was just…a cheap shot, you know?"

"I can imagine." Olivia replied putting Sam's vitamins away and placing his brush back where it belonged.

"What's up?" Alex tried to sound cheerful, "Something I can help you with?"

"Um," Olivia didn't want to ask her if she could watch Sam, not after hearing her break, "Nothing, just wanted to say hi."

"Bull." Alex laughed, "I can tell by your voice, what's up?"

"Um, Alex…I, I talked to a friend today and I asked her if she'd be willing to talk with you."

"Okay, that's great….but…talk to me about what?" Alex asked confused.

"Well," Olivia paced at eh foot of her bed, "She's had…two miscarriages, and I just think that she could help you more than I could, I think it would be good fo-"

"Okay."

"Okay?" Olivia found herself surprised that Alex would cave so easy, "Just like that?"

"Olivia…I'm sinking here, I need something and if this helps, I'm all over it."

"Okay." Olivia exhaled, "I'll let her know."

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

Alex chuckled sadly, "Care to tell me who I'll be talking to?"

"Um, well, I uh-"

Alex groaned just like Casey had, "It's someone I know isn't it?"

Are all prosecutors like this? She wondered, "Yes…would you rather it not be?"

"No…no it's fine, let me know?"

"Sure."

"Olivia." Alex growled again, "Why are you being so stubborn?"

"Stubborn?" She asked genuinely confused.

"What else did you need to ask…I can tell your covering something, what's up."

"Your good." Olivia murmured, "Alright, I was gonna ask if you wouldn't mind watching Sam, but I think you have your plate full."

"When?"

"Excuse me?"

"When did you need me?"

"Tomorrow night?" Olivia asked hopeful.

Alex exhaled, "Robert is going to a chess tournament and I don't know if I'd be the best person right now to watch him…if he's willing to go with Robert that would be great, if not, we'll work something out."

"A chess tournament?" Olivia tried not to laugh.

"Yeah, well, the man likes chess, what am I suppose to do?" Alex laughed, "He's a little weird, but he's hot…it evens out." She assured her, "Bring that little guy by."

Olivia grinned, "Thank you so much."

"No…thank you."

Olivia hung up the phone and called Casey back, smiling at the fact that she felt like a high school girl as much as she'd used the phone this evening, she's not a phone person, but when your desperate, you've got to do it. She'd made the necessary arrangements for dinner tomorrow night and informed her that 'her friend' would very much like to talk to her. She felt bad knowing they we're both going to be blind sided but she felt as though there was nothing else she could do.

She exhaled and tossed the phone on the bed just as she felt familiar arms encompass her waist, a gentle kiss on her neck, "You were supposed to wake me up after Sam went to bed."

"You looked like you were exhausted, I thought I'd let you sleep." She smiled covering his hands with her own.

"I am exhausted," he agreed, "But, I promised you I'd talk with you tonight, still up for it? There were some things I wanted to talk to you about too."

"Yeah." She turned in his embrace and faced him, taking notice that the stitches made his wound look worse than it actually was, the swelling had went down a bit and while his face was still about as colorful as a rainbow, his eyes still sparkled in her presence and although it was a lopsided smile at best, he still smiled when he touched her, "I did something your probably going to disagree with, and then I did something else…that you might be upset with." She confessed.

"Wow…you've been busy." He chuckled, "I promise to listen."

"Okay." She exhaled and closed her eyes.

"That which I may disagree with?" He smiled.

"I called Casey and asked if she would talk to Alex, I called Alex and asked if she would talk to Casey."

"About the miscarriage?" He asked making sure they were on the same page.

"Yeah."

"Did they agree?"

"Yep."

"But?" He raised his brows at her, "What are you holding out."

"They may not _necessarily_ know that they will be talking to _each other_."

He exhaled, "Could that be because you didn't tell them?"

She winced, "Could be…they're going to kill me aren't they?"

"Probably…or they may thank you. Whatever it is, we'll just have to wait and see what plays out."

"Are you disappointed?"

"Your trying to help…I'd probably do the same thing, if I were in your shoes."

"Thanks." She whispered smoothing her hand over his shirt.

"Alright," He smiled softly, "That which may make me mad?"

"I sort of…told Casey and Paul we'd have dinner with them tomorrow, Casey said Paul's ready to talk but doesn't know how to approach us." She licked her lips waiting for his response.

"Why would that make me mad?"

"I didn't know how you'd feel about going out with your face…and I didn't exactly ask." She whispered.

"I'm dying to get out of the house, it's just that the medicine is making me a little sleepy, but I'm feeling better, I didn't take a pain killer this evening, I'll try not to take one tomorrow and I think I can handle dinner."

"Your not upset?"

He gave her a lopsided smile and kissed her mouth as delicately as possible in order to not send pain shooting through his face, "I'm not mad…but I'm confused."

"About what?"

"What do you really need to talk about?" he asked softly sensing the stress coming from her in waves.

Olivia groaned, "You first…mine is gonna take awhile."

"Well," Elliot squeezed her hand and pulled her softly down next to him on the bed, "I asked you a question the other night and you never answered."

"Uh…could you be more vague." She chuckled.

"Liv," He smiled sadly, "I know you, I know what you like and don't like…I know your body."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Ok…that's good to know."

"Liv, I'm gonna ask you a question and it's gonna sting."

Olivia groaned, "I knew I should have went first."

"Liv, it's gonna be a rough question."

She exhaled and flopped back on the pillow, "Yippee." She grumbled, "What did I do?"

Elliot chuckled and laid next to her his good check against the pillow, "You didn't do anything, Liv…but, the other night, when we made love-"

"Ah, Elliot…come on, don't do this to me." She begged.

"Liv, I need to know…you've never wanted to make love like that."

"Elliot!" she snapped trying to leave the bed until he grabbed her mid section and pulled her close to him, "El," She whispered, "Please, I don't want to get into that…it hurts."

"Olivia…I don't want to hurt you, but its important to talk about it, why did you…why did you want me to be so rough?"

"El…please?" she whispered.

He pulled her hair back and tucked it around her ear kissing her neck softly, "We need to talk about it."

"Elliot, I…did it bother you?" she whispered words covered in shame and guilt.

"No…but it did concern me."

She raised her eyes to him and saw the compassion as he told her, "It worried me that in that moment you became someone else…I know you," he smiled softly, nuzzling her neck cautiously, "you like to make love slowly and sensually, you prefer me on top, but there are times when you're rebellious and you prefer to ride me until we come together. I know that you whimper every time I kiss your abdomen, you smile every time I enter you and your thighs flex when you lock your legs around me…I love feeling your thighs when you come…but in all the times we've made love, in everything that I know about you…you've never responded to me that way. I just want you to try and tell me what you we're thinking about, what provoked it? Can you?"

She exhaled, wiped a tear from her eye and turned to face him, her fingers on his jaw line before she very gently traced his wound, "This is hard for me." She whispered.

"I know it is…I'm right here for you." He assured her, "Tell me."

She buried her face in his chest, "I…I didn't sleep with Nick."

He laughed softly, compassionately, "Honey," he tipped her chin up to see him, "I know you didn't…we're good…why is it bothering you?"

"It…it um…it made me feel like…a whore." She whispered, "It made me feel…completely opposite of everything you've told me I am," she sniffled, "I…I didn't feel…sexy or wanted or…loved, I…I felt like a possession to him, like he's got me in a preverbal check mate." She nuzzled closer to him, "Could you…could you maybe…tell me I'm not?" she whispered lacing her fingers with hers.

He squeezed her hand softly, "You're my drop dead gorgeous and incredible sexy wife and, if it weren't for my current facial situation, I would make love to you right now." He kissed her forehead softly, "You are this incredible creature that makes me smile, makes me believe that maybe…maybe I did something right to be here with you."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm turning into my mother." She whispered clutching her fingers into his side, "I'm turning into Serena."

"What? No your not…why do you think that?" he asked stroking her arm softly.

"I…do you remember when I told you how my mom use to spank me, and I'd tell her I loved her…and she'd just hit me harder?"

"Yeah…but what does that have to do with your current situation, we don't punish Sam physically."

"I know, but…when I had to…force him into the pool," her voice cracked as she cried softly, "I felt so much like my mother…my son was begging for mercy, telling me he loved me and begging me and I wouldn't give it to him, I forced him into the water, I understand why he said he hated me, heck, I hated me." She pawed at her tears, "I hate me."

"Oh Liv," he kissed the top of her head, a small smile on her lips, "Your absolutely nothing like your mother."

She sniffled softly, "Then why do I feel…so disgusting?"

Elliot closed his eyes and brought her close to him to whisper in her ear, "Your absolutely stunning…the definition of pure…your completely clean, Liv." He kissed her ear tenderly holding back the grimace when a ping of pain touched his face.

"I'm scared I'll be her…maybe not today, but one day, I'm scared that I'll wake up and look in the mirror and I'll see her, and I'll know that my children hate me."

Elliot rested his hand on her abdomen, "It's impossible to hate you, Liv."

Olivia felt the emotion creep up and spill out of her as she laid her head on his chest and draped her arm over him, holding tight to him as she cried softly. He rubbed her back letting her get out all of the frustration and confusion that had been building, her back began to relax, the muscles softening as he stroked her warmly. She was as quiet as Sam had been for the last few days but after what he thought may have been about twenty minutes he felt her fingers slide up his shirt and stroke his flesh softly, "I'm sorry I dumped that on you."

He kneaded the flesh at her waist, "Don't be…we lean on each other that's what old married folk do."

"Old?"

"In a fine wine sort of way." He chuckled with her, happy to see her turn to face him. Tear stained cheeks, red-rimmed eyes, red and swollen nose…she was gorgeous when she cried. He thought it curious that when she was at the precinct she was a ball buster, but as soon as they got into the car, she was his wife, vulnerable and struggling to keep herself open to him. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and wondered if she had to make a mental decision each morning to be open to him, to be vulnerable to him.

"My turn now?"

Elliot smiled, "Whatchya got?"

"Unfortunately, nothing good…well maybe it could be, I guess it's all about perspective." She informed him.

"Okay, lay it on me."

She exhaled, "Where to start? Okay, you know how Sam has been telling us that there is a boogie man?"

"Yeah, I remember I use to be scared of the boogie man and the belly button thief." He smiled.

She arched her brow, "The belly button thief?"

"Yep…my mother use to say, if you're belly button wasn't clean he'd come for you, needless to say I have a clean belly button."

She laughed, "Yeah, it's pretty hot."

"What about you?"

She blushed, "I use to think belly button's kept your butt screwed on."

Elliot laughed and then winced at the pain in his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She whispered sitting up and trying to calm him, his face was red, his abdomen shaking with laughter he was trying to hold but was failing at miserably, well, at least until she put her hand in his boxers, stopping him immediately as he stared at her.

"Ah," She grinned withdrawing her hand, "I thought that would get ya to stop."

"Mean."

"I know." She waggled her brow, "No seriously…what if I told you…I think Sam's boogie man exists?"

Elliot furrowed his brow and sat up looking down at her with serious eyes, "Are you being serious?"

"Yes."

"Proof?"

"I think Tripod got a piece of him when the alarm was tripped."

"Really? He ran past me when I was in the front yard but I didn't know where he went."

"I think that, whoever it was, was chased by Tripod and got bit…Tripod dropped a shoe at my foot, I put it in a bag and I noticed foot prints just under Sam's window…the treads match."

"He was here." Elliot muttered, "I'll kill him."

"Yeah, but the question is…who's him?"

"I don't know." Elliot exhaled, "Why do you think he was bit?"

"There's more." She whispered feeling her eyes mist just remembering the bruise on Sam's shoulder; "I think he was bit, because of what happened at the hospital with Sam."

"Huh?"

"Sam told me…that the boogie man was at the hospital."

"WHAT!" He barked then winced feeling the sutures stress under his facial movements.

"Shh," She sat up placing her fingers over his lips, "He's asleep right now, I don't want to wake him up, I gave him a shower…" she sniffled, "He must have grabbed Sam in the hospital, because there is a huge bruise on his shoulder."

"I'll kill that mother fu-"

"Elliot, please." She whispered, placing a soft kiss on his chest, "I know you're angry, I'm furious, but we can't show Sam that we're freaking out, he'll pick up on it."

"Tell me everything."

"That's just it…he won't say anything else."

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"Wow," Paul laughed opening the door to his home to see Elliot and Olivia on the other side, "Spousal Abuse is on the rise huh Elliot?"

"Funny." Elliot smirked as they walked in.

"I told him to take the trash out." Olivia teased, "He defied me…had to show him who's boss."

"Ouch," Casey smiled walking up on her guest, "Sounds like some one was emasculated." She laughed and hugged Olivia tightly, "Good to see you."

"Good to see you too." Olivia squeezed her back tighter before letting go as Paul and Elliot shook hands, "How's Addison?"

"Well, I begged God that he would sleep…looks like God is in the business of answering prayers."

"Wow, you got him to sleep?" Olivia arched her brows, "Your good."

Paul wrapped his arms around Casey's waist and kissed her chastely on the cheek, "Don't let her fool you Olivia, I had to talk her out of putting Nyquil in the bottle."

"Paul!" Casey laughed, "Not true." She informed Olivia who was laughing.

"Hey," Olivia grinned wiping moisture from her eyes, "Isaac had an earache…let me tell you, I think Elliot and I were gonna just run an IV of black coffee through us…no sleep…none."

"Hungry?" Paul suggested motioning to the kitchen table, "Casey and I prepared a wonderful meal."

"Oh yeah?" Olivia smiled, "What is it?"

Casey slapped Paul's abdomen and shook her head, "Pizza…it's delivery, Addison wasn't being cooperative."

Olivia patted her stomach, "I love a good pizza."

Elliot rolled his eyes, "Please, you just love food…you're like a human garbage disposal."

Olivia glared and then smiled, "That's what happens to pregnant people…you saw how Casey, here scarffed."

"Oh good job," Casey rolled her eyes, "Deflect the attention to me…I thank you Olivia."

"No problem." Olivia smiled and socked her softly on the shoulder, "Let's eat, I'm starving."

"Why did I know that sentence was coming?" Paul joked.

"Hey buddy," Olivia arched a brow and looked at his belly, "you still holding on to that hospital food or what?" she grinned and laughed at his fake hurt face.

They sat and talked about this and that as Elliot picked off the pepperonis to his two slices of supreme pizza and past them to Olivia who in turn gave him her bell peppers. They'd explained to Casey and Paul that Sam went to a chess tournament with Robert and all four adults found them selves surprised by his willingness to do so. Olivia left out the fact that except for the conversation she'd had with him, he hadn't spoken a word again.

Elliot was taking a sip of his soda when Olivia looked up and noticed Paul hadn't touched his pizza or his soda, in fact he was starring at all three people, with different looks. She watched him look at his wife with a look of failed protector, she saw him look at Elliot with eyes that told her he felt like less of a man for letting another man down, and when he looked up at her, and couldn't hold her gaze for longer than a second she recognized the guilt and shame in his eyes, the same eyes that continued to plead with her for a forgiveness that she freely gave but that he struggled to comprehend.

"You've both been patient with me, actually all three of you have." Paul swallowed the lump in his throat as the laughter and friendly banter suddenly stopped at his sudden desire to speak up.

Casey exhaled and took his hand under the table as he lowered his head, unwilling to risk another glance form Olivia or Elliot.

"I…don't remember much." He said softly as he pushed his plate away from him. He was paler and thinner than normal, even in spite of Olivia's fat joke, she knew he'd lost weight, she wondered when the last time he ate was. But when she felt Elliot's hand on her thigh, she covered it with her own hand and waited patiently for this man, who was once so rough, turned gentle, only to be shattered by a tragedy that occupied more hearts than any tragedy should.

"Take your time, Paul." Elliot assured him, "Don't rush, tell us what you know."

Paul stared at his lap and squeezed Casey's hand, "There was a knock at the door. Casey went to answer it as I put Isaac down to sleep and went to use the restroom." He exhaled, "I had put his pajama's on…thought it might get cold." He furrowed his brow.

Olivia wanted to cry, _He was warm when he was taken_.

"I was washing my hands and thinking about how much Isaac had eaten…he ate so much." He laughed weakly, "He could put it away."

Olivia closed her eyes and bowed her head squeezing Elliot's hand; _He was full when they took him._

"I heard a noise right after Casey had opened the door, I didn't really think about it…maybe if I did…we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Paul…you had no idea what was happening, don't punish yourself." Elliot encouraged him, "What else? Do you remember anything else?"

"I heard something break and I ran down the hall for Casey, when I turned the corner…he was there, swinging the bat…Casey was…on the floor." He shook his head and exhaled, "Blood was coming out of her mouth."

"Paul if it's too mu-"

"I dodged the first swing I think," He told them as if it could redeem himself, "I fought back, you have to believe me." He pleaded, "I may be a nerd, but I can fight…but the knife…it…I wasn't expecting the knife. It's sketchy after that, but I remember him taking Isaac from his crib and putting him in the car seat…I don't remember how, but I ended up getting Isaac…I was holding him, when…when he stabbed me."

Paul closed his eyes and shook his head, "He wore a ski mask but…he was like…maybe Olivia's height, maybe an inch or so taller, medium build but faster than me, left handed…I use to play baseball, he's got a left swing." He smiled weakly. "I can't really remember…too much after that." He whispered, "I remember him grabbing Isaac's folder off the counter, but everything is a little foggy…things come and go, clear, blurry…I'm sorry." He whispered his apology, "I'm so sorry, I lost him."

"Paul." Olivia called his name firmly enough that he looked at her immediately, "You listen to me." Her voice forced him to hold her gaze, "You are a good man, who almost died to protect my son." Her voice softened with her own emotion, "I thank you for that, I thank you so much…you have to believe that you didn't loose our son, this isn't your fault, it's the guy who took him…it's his fault." She assured him.

"Paul." Elliot smiled, "Your our family, man, we want you and Casey over to the house more, like you use to, we don't like not being close with our family. This wasn't your fault and we don't blame you."

Paul blinked out a tear and quickly wiped it away at warp speed not wanting to look less than manly in front of another man.

"Do you remember anything else?" Olivia asked softly, "Something interesting he might have said, an eye color, a smell or touch?"

"Green eyes." Paul whispered clenching his jaw, "Thin lips…and he…he smelled cheap."

"Cheap?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "What do you mean cheap?"

Paul tried to decipher the memory, "Like an old mans cologne…Old Spice." He shook his head, "Yeah, my dad use to wear it…I just put it together." He whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Paul, Honey," Casey spoke softly, "This wasn't your fault."

In a manner completely unlike him, Paul sprang to his feet yelling and throwing his plate of food across the kitchen, "This is my fault Damnit!" he yelled so fiercely that his face was instantly red, his veins bulging form his neck, his eyes clouded with something Casey hadn't seen since they'd gotten back together.

"Paul-" Elliot tried to calm him.

"NO!" He barked, and took a swing at his glass of soda forcing it to collide with the wall as he walked out of the kitchen picking up his keys and walking out of the house. Casey stood and followed him quickly, leaving Elliot and Olivia starring at one another at the kitchen table. Olivia quietly stood and started to clean the disaster that was just created in the dinning room as Elliot made his way to Addison who was crying in his nursery. They both heard the yelling from outside.

"Paul wait!" Casey pleaded negotiating the stairs of the porch quickly.

He suddenly turned on her, "Leave me the hell alone!" he barked slamming his fist on the hood of his truck. She couldn't see it in the dark, but she was sure there would be a dent.

"Paul, please." She pleaded, "Talk to me."

"About what!" He barked hitting the truck again, "About how I screwed up everyone's life? Or how about how two of my best friends will never see their son?" he began to yell louder, "Or I know, how about how I can't even make love to my wife!" he barked, "Or that I hate myself, or that when I hold _my_ son, it doesn't seem fair!" he yelled again, hitting the truck once, twice, a third time, before finally getting into the driver's seat.

"Where are you going?" Casey asked panicked.

He started the truck and slammed it into reverse, "Away!"


	9. Chapter 9 Someone's Here To See You

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 9 Someones Here To See You

One week after Paul Novak stormed out of his own home, he still hadn't returned or called and Olivia found herself sitting in a small Sponge Bob chair in her son's room, sipping hot chocolate and watching Sam sleep with his side kick snuggled under the covers with him. Morning had come too quickly for her and she simply wanted to watch Sam, she wanted to be in the same room with the little boy, who, since their conversation about his bruise, refused to say a word. He had returned to school but wouldn't even talk to Alex. Huang stopped by to offer some help and Olivia felt her heart sink as Sam simply kept his head up, sunglasses on and lips sealed.

She found it interesting that, while he wasn't their blood son, he'd picked up so many of their nervous reactions, he ate only here and there and the food he did eat was usually puked right back up. A trip to the doctor only made the situation worse as soon as they stepped foot in the hospital, Sam began to cry and sob until they had no choice except to take him home and watch over him carefully. He was surprisingly willing to keep going to the pool and in fact they we're now able to put his floaters on and let him hold on to Elliot's back as they moved about the shallow end. He wasn't quite ready to let go…but he was getting there.

She smiled softly watching him stir in his sleep and finally stretch and yawn, he was an early riser and there was no way he got that from her or Elliot, the occasional insomnia he had, sure, but never the early waking without so much as an alarm clock or streak of sunlight. She remained quiet wanting to see him in his morning routine. He stretched again and flopped his head back on the pillow, crossing his ankles and petting Tripod.

"Morning Tripod." He whispered.

She smiled at the sound of his voice.

"I got to go to school today, Tripod, daddy is going to the doctor and I think Mom is still upset with me." He told the dog who simply nuzzled him with his snout and gave a big lick over his chin.

_Upset?_ Olivia furrowed her brow and continued to listen; he was at least talking to his dog.

"Got to go pee pee Tripod? I do." He said softly rolling out of bed, hair every which direction except the right one. He rubbed his hair and pulled his sheet up feeling the button Olivia had sewn into the hem so he knew what was suppose to go where. His first few weeks of making the bed didn't pan out so well but he improved all the time. She smiled and watched him feel with his hands, pulling his comforter up, plump his pillows and step away from the bed.

He called for Tripod and walked to the door suddenly stopping. Olivia froze his senses were amazing and she hoped he didn't know that she was in his room watching him and listening to his private conversation with Tripod. She held her breath as he walked toward her chair slowly; he stopped half way and reached down to touch tripod feeling lightly at his head then his rear haunches. Olivia watched, slightly panicked, he was feeling his dog for tenseness, trying to determine if there was a reason to be concerned. When he was confidant Tripod wasn't reacting to anything he called the dog again and stepped out of his room.

Olivia exhaled and slouched in the chair that was far too small for her in the first place. When she heard the toilet flush from the hall bath she made her way down the hall but stopped to see Tripod eyeing her from the couch. If the dog was human she could have sworn he was trying to tell her something, probably on the lines of, _some mother you are, eavesdropping on your boy, shame on you._

Olivia stuck her tongue at the dog and walked down the hall, she jumped as Sam stepped out of the hall, a ring of toothpaste foam on his lips, "Mom?"

She smiled at his voice again, it was directed at her. "Hey Baby, your up early." She tried to sound normal, tried not to sound like she was a teenager sneaking back into her room at three in the morning and being caught by her mother.

Sam turned to face her, something working in his mind, "Why we're you in my room, Mom?"

_Busted_.

"What do you mean?" she asked taking another sip of her chocolate.

"Dad has coffee in the morning, you have chocolate now, I smelled it in my room, and Tripod's tail is different when you're next to me." He said matter of factly.

She exhaled and crouched in front of him, "I couldn't sleep and I wanted to see you, I'm sorry Baby, did I scare you?"

Sam took the hem of his pajamas and wiped his mouth, walked back into the restroom and closed the door. Olivia groaned inwardly, _smooth Liv_.

She ran her hands through her hair and stood to her feet cursing herself silently as she walked back to wake up Elliot. She smiled seeing that he'd pulled her pillow to his body, his nose sunk in it, a small curl of his lips. He loved her, love having her close, loved her scent, her touch. She lowered her lips to his cheek and kissed him delicately, "Wake up,' She smiled against his flesh that was healing nicely. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his abdomen, kissing his shoulder, "El, wake up or we'll be late."

"Give me another month." He grumbled, nuzzling closer to the pillow.

"Hey," she chuckled turning his face to her with her fingers and kissing his lips, "what would you rather have? Me? Or that pillow?"

He opened his eyes and grinned rolling on his back and resting his hands on her, "You…absolutely you."

"I don't know," She teased, "you and that pillow seemed to be hitting it off pretty well."

"Well," He blushed, "In my defense, it is your pillow."

She rolled her eyes and tugged him out of the bed, "Come on, we're gonna be late."

"What did you do?" Elliot asked making his way to the bathroom.

"What you mean?" she furrowed her brow and smiled.

"The guilt is written all over your face." He smiled pointing at her as he picked up a toothbrush.

She exhaled and sat back on the bed drawing her feet up underneath her, "I couldn't sleep."

"That explains the tired look, but not the cat that just swallowed the canary, what did you do Liv?" He asked again through the build of toothpaste.

"I couldn't sleep, so I made some chocolate and found myself in Sam's room."

Elliot spit and rinsed the sink wiping his mouth and looking at her with concern, "Did you scare him."

"No…not exactly."

"Well, then…what's the deal?" he asked forgoing the razor due to the stitches.

She rolled her eyes and groaned, "He woke up and he was talking to Tripod…I was just so happy to hear him talking that I…_may_ have forgotten to tell him I was there." She blushed.

"He called you on it, huh?"

"Oh yeah…he's like a little detective, picks up on everything." She smiled shaking her head, "Needless to say, I feel like a schmuck."

"So," Elliot grinned closing the gap between them and kissing her forehead, "What you're saying is that you…made a boo boo?"

"Shut up." She chuckled.

"Hey," He raised his hands as he made his way to the dresser and pulled out under clothes for the both of them, "I'm not the one guilty of familial espionage."

She rolled her eyes and stood to take off her pajamas, "It wasn't spying…so much as just wanting to watch him." She informed him, opening the closet and pulling out work attire for her and jeans and a shirt for him.

"Without his consent," He reminded her as she dropped her flannel pants to her ankles, "that's spying." He informed her snapping his rolled shirt against her rear end.

"Ouch!" She jumped and started to laugh, "El, that hurt." She told him rubbing her flesh.

"That was for Christmas."

"Christmas!" she grinned, "Well, it's nice to know you don't hold a grudge."

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"Sam, let's go, Baby, you'll be late for school." Olivia called from the kitchen as watched as he padded sadly to the kitchen table and climbed into his seat.

"Hey, Buddy." Elliot smiled, "how'd you sleep?" he asked knowing full well Sam wouldn't be answering.

"Sam?" Olivia sat across from him and watched as he took a bite of his eggs and put his fork down, "Baby, I owe you an apology, I should have told you that I was in your room."

He took a sip of his orange juice and slid out of his chair.

"Honey, you have to eat m-" Before she could say more, she watched him bolt to the restroom, the sound of him vomiting causing her to leave her breakfast, "El, can you grab his back pack, pack him some crackers for today, while I get him relaxed?"

"Sure." Elliot agreed following her request.

Olivia watched her son brace himself over the toilet; he'd learned to keep his head low to make sure it all went in. She kneeled next to him, "Tummy upset?" She asked stroking his back as he shook, but didn't respond. "Maybe, the juice was a little to strong, huh?" she suggested reaching for his toothbrush and paste and fixing it as he made his way to stand in front of the sink. "Here, Honey." She placed the toothbrush in his hand and stood back as he cleaned himself up and returned the toothbrush to the rack.

Olivia frowned when he pawed a tear away, "Baby," she whispered, kneeling back in front of him and taking his hands into hers, "Samuel, I'm very sorry fo-"

Before she could finish her apology he'd covered her mouth with tiny fingers and nodded his head, but didn't answer.

"Honey," She sniffled pulling her close to her chest, "Baby, your really scaring me." She whispered kissing the crown of his head, "Please talk to me, Baby."

He squeezed her tightly and then let go without saying a word.

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"He hasn't said a word." Olivia spoke softly to Elliot as they waited for a nurse to come and get Elliot.

"He will, Liv, give him time, the hospital shook him up."

"He won't talk at school, he's not even talking to Alex, she said he just goes to her class and sits in her lap while she reads to him." She exhaled and smiled softly when he rested his hand over hers.

"How is Alex?"

"Having dinner with Casey tonight, and she doesn't even know it, which means I should get two angry calls tonight." She groaned, "Why do I always stick my nose where it doesn't belong?"

"You're trying to help a friend-"

"By hurting another one…how righteous."

"Quit being a baby."

"Shut up."

"Very mature." He smiled tipping her chin up, "It's all gonna work out." He whispered and kissed her lips softly.

"Mr. Stabler?" A nurse walked into the waiting room and smiled as they both stood to their feet and followed the nurse into a room, "How's your little one?" The nurse asked and it suddenly dawned on Olivia that it was the same nurse that had given them scrubs.

Olivia smiled in thanks, "He's…he's stressed out, but hanging in there." She assured her.

"And you Mr. Stabler?" The nurse smiled patting the examination table.

He jumped up onto the table and grinned, "Ready to get this thread out of my face so I can have some fun with my wife." He waggled his brows.

"Oh." The nurse smiled as Olivia felt a furious flush cross her face.

"Alright," The nurse began her work taking the stitched out, Olivia smiled noticing that Elliot was white knuckling the edge of the chair, _Wussy_.

After several minutes the nurse ran an antiseptic over his face, "I was shocked to hear that you and you're brother had gotten into a car accident and walked away, although I suppose you were more lucky than he, huh?" she chuckled.

"What?" Olivia turned sharply to the nurse.

"Yeah, your brother, he talked to your son in the hall, before you're son started to panic…probably the stress of almost loosing a Dad and an uncle huh?"

"I don't have a brother." Elliot furrowed his brow in a gruff whisper, "What did he look like?"

"I'm not sure, I was just coming onto the shift, one of the other nurses, Leanne, she told me about it and asked me to get you all scrubs." She informed them placing a band-aid on his face, "Alright, your good to go Mr. Stabler, try to keep your car on the road next time huh?"

Elliot stared at her, "Who's Leanne?"

"Shift Nurse, she's so lucky…vacationing with her husband in the Bahamas for two weeks."

Olivia bit her bottom lip, so many leads, so close yet so completely unattainable that it was making her sick to her stomach. "El," Olivia forced a smile, "we have to go, I'll be late for work."

Elliot nodded slightly and slid off the table, "Thank you." He said still shocked that the sick bastard had concocted a story to convince the nurses that it was okay to sit by his son. To touch his son.

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They both stood on the curb stunned, "So, I guess we at least know how he managed to get to Sam…I shouldn't have left him alone." She whispered and exhaled.

"Don't blame yourself, we're gonna find whoever this is and then I'm going to kill him." He said almost playfully, if anything, he just wanted to see her smile, and as small as it was, she did smile.

"You want the car or cab?" She asked softly.

"Um…Cab."

"Sure?" She furrowed her brow.

"Yeah, I'm gonna putts around the city, I have something I need to do before I go back to work tomorrow and then I'll swing by the station, drop off my fit for full duty slip and give you an incredible kiss and then go from their." He grinned and hailed a cab.

She rolled her eyes and then grabbed for him before he could step into the cab, she kissed him through a grin and cupped his scruffy cheek, "Don't shave this today."

"Why?" He frowned.

She kissed the corner of his mouth and sucked softly on his lip, "Because, I want to feel it tonight." She whispered and walked away.

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"Did you have fun at school?" Olivia asked as Sam slid into the back seat of the car and clipped in without an answer.

She exhaled and pulled from the curb, "Your daddy came to see me at work today, he said he's got a surprise for us when we get home…you excited?" she asked looking in the review mirror and watching as he simply put his earphones on and leaned against the seat.

After several minutes of silence Olivia turned the radio on and watched him riffle through his backpack looking for something. She accelerated from the last light in the city and started into the country when she felt a tapping on her shoulder. She turned back and saw Sam handing her a CD. "You want to listen to this?" She asked looking at it and negotiating the road at the same time. "Did Alex give this to you?" She asked looking down at the Ray Charles CD and knowing full well she had, she'd have to ask Alex the story behind it, because, Mr. I-Plead-The-Fifth, wasn't budging.

She watched him through the mirror, a grin on his face as he listened to the music, she wondered if Alex told him about Ray Charles, she turned her blinker on and pulled into her drive way to see Elliot's surprise starring right at her and him standing entirely too proud next to it. She stopped the car and turned the engine off starring at him in disbelief as she got out of the car. She kept her eye on it even as she helped Sam out.

"Elliot…how much did that cost?" she asked looking at the SUV parked in their driveway.

"Wow…before you kill me," He smiled, "Notice that I didn't shave."

"How much?" She asked again ready to strangle him for making such a large purchase without her.

He grinned and pulled out a manila envelope that she recognized as her's, "Nosey!" She grinned.

"I paid attention to the cars you we're looking at Liv, to the people you we're talking to, I did my research and if you look carefully this crimson beast is exactly what you circled." He grinned opening the file and pulling out a paper that she had worked out a financial plan for purchasing a new vehicle, it was easy, pay it in cash, nothing more, nothing less.

"You went through my things?" She arched her brow trying miserably to hide her smile.

"You left it out."

"It was closed."

"I dropped it…it landed open."

"Liar."

"I got a good deal." He grinned resting his hands on her hips as she wrapped her fingers around his arms.

"How much."

"Two grand less than what your little plan here said."

"Really?" She asked in shock, "How'd you manage that? I did my research, that was the lowest they'd go on it."

"The salesman was a girl." He grinned and straightened his tie that was tied horribly wrong, "Did a little manly flirting…got what I wanted." He teased.

"Yeah," Olivia loosened the tie, "Or she just pitied you for this tie." She whispered and kissed his mouth softly still aware that while the stitches were gone, his fracture still needed to heal. "El?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever get a hold of your friend in K-9?"

"Yep."

"And?"

Elliot exhaled, "Sorry Liv, the next dog to retire isn't scheduled for two more months, but he put us on the top of the waiting list…it'll happen when it's time."

"Yeah." She smiled softly and kissed him tenderly, "I love you."

"I love you too."

Upon hearing the two, Sam simply made his way to the house, he was tired, wanted to see Tripod and take a nap.

"He say anything today?" Elliot asked as she looked around in the new vehicle.

"Nope, ignored me the whole time." She puffed.

"It's bothering you?"

"Duh." She looked at him and exhaled, "Sorry."

"No problem…hey?" He grinned touching her abdomen, "How are my boys?"

"Your girls are doing just fine." She smiled covering his hand with hers.

"Have you felt them yet?"

"Nope, they're being pretty kick back for now, but Isaac didn't start kicking until about three months, so I figure in a couple of weeks, we'll feel them."

He smiled, "I have a big family."

She grinned and kissed him, "Complete with a gas guzzling SUV."

He caressed her derriere, "Oh, please, like your mustang is easy on the pocket book."

"No, it's not," She agreed stepping closer to him, "But it's a sexy car."

He kissed her again, "For a sexy woman."

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Casey wanted a drink, and, she wanted it now. She tossed her workbag in the hall closet and put the car seat on the kitchen table happy that Addison was asleep. He was growing and her arms were definitely feeling it. She rushed to the message machine and pushed play hoping Paul had called but all it told her was something about a political campaign that she could donate too. She dug her cell phone out of her pocket and checked it to make sure she hadn't missed a phone since the last time she checked her phone…fifteen minutes ago.

"Where the hell are you?" She grumbled trying to fight off tears. He'd just left, just up and walked out on her and hadn't bothered to call in a week. Frustration and fear was starting to set in, mostly fear. She was envisioning herself as a single mother trying to juggle a career, a mortgage and a son on her own. She exhaled when the doorbell rang.

"Hey," Casey smiled softly, "Thank you so much for doing this on your day off Fin."

"No problem, Addison and I have some Xbox to catch up on." He informed her hugging her softly, "I take it you still haven't heard from Science Man?"

"No." She sniffled, "I had called Alex, to see if she could watch Addy, but she's going to dinner tonight so…sorry to rain on your parade."

"Hey, I took vacation, now that Stabler will be back tomorrow, Liv, seems to be focused and I hear Cragen is bringing in a partner for me when I go back next week…I'd love to spend some quality time with an ankle biter." He assured her unclasping the car seat and holding Addison close and covering his exposed ear as he spoke to her, "When you do find Paul," Fin told her, "Tell him I'm gonna kick his ass."

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"I don't want to go." Alex whispered, "I think I'd much rather baby sit Addison for Casey than go talk to someone about this."

Robert smiled and cupped her cheek, "This is gonna be so good for you. You know Olivia would only do what she thinks would help you."

"I know." She nodded, "But-"

"But what?" he asked softly,

"I'd rather go to a chess tournament with you then do this."

"Hey," He grinned, "Don't mock the tournaments, Sam made a killing."

"Serious?"

"Yep." He laughed, "Ten bucks in speed chess."

"How did he manage that?" she furrowed her brows, "How does he know the board?"

"The kid is a genius Al, I'm serious, as long as I told him the moves he didn't have a problem saying them back, it was weird though, that was the only time he'd talk was to tell me where to move the pieces."

"Olivia said he was going through something, he's still not talking at school though."

"He's strong," He assured her kissing her forehead, "Your strong…we're strong, we're gonna get through this, and we're gonna be stronger, talk to this woman, let her be there for you."

"I have you." She whispered.

"Yes you do." He smiled, "But I think a woman's perspective will help you more than me just holding you through the night."

"I like when you hold me." She whispered.

"And I won't stop." He assured her, "But we both know that you need to talk this out with someone who's gone through it."

She exhaled, "I better get going, I'm gonna be late." She whispered and turned to leave before he pulled her back to him and kissed her passionately, his lips open against hers as their tongues stroked softly against one another, his fingers in her hair, her hands cupping his face. Soft smiles as they parted.

"What was that?" She panted.

He lowered his lips to her ear, "I can't resist the lips of the sexiest woman I've ever seen."

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Alex was nursing a drink, but she was nursing it only because it was her second one in the twenty minutes she was waiting for some woman that she apparently knew, to meet her at a restaurant that Olivia had told her to go to. She was about to knock back the entire drink and simply leave and dodge the whole situation when she furrowed her brows and saw Casey walk into the restaurant.

Alex frowned wondering why she would be here and more importantly where in the world her husband was. They'd talked on the phone and she mentioned going out, but where was Paul? She watched the red head scan the restaurant obviously looking for someone who should have already been there. Alex raised a brow and took a look around for any strange men that were sitting alone. There were none, she exhaled in relief that she wasn't going to be a witness to an affair. She looked around again and then suddenly locked eyes with Casey.

And both women knew.

Alex took a deep breath almost at the same time she saw Casey's chest heave in air and her body will itself to the table as if she were walking in buckets full of cement. They stared at one another as she sat in the booth.

"So." Casey tucked hair in the back of her ear.

"So." Alex exhaled and took another drink of her liquid courage.

Casey smiled, "Is it me or does Olivia have a little problem with setting people up in awkward positions."

Alex laughed, "That's her, always trying to save someone."

"Look," Casey exhaled, "Things like this…they're hard and they're personal and I just want you to know, we're friends, if you need me I'm here but I'm not pushing you to open up to me."

Alex nodded her head and smiled softly, "I appreciate the gesture."

Casey smiled back, "I hear the fettuccini is off that charts here."

"Any food at this point sounds good." Alex waved the now empty glass of liquor, "Started on an empty stomach." Both woman laughed as the waitress came over and waited patiently for them to gain their composure enough to order two fettuccini's and ice teas.

Alex hunted for any good courtroom drama from Casey who seemed to happily give it to her. They picked each others brains on cases, verdicts, loopholes and laws that were going into effect soon that may play an important part in SVU, but it was when Alex got quiet that Casey backed off and let her move at her own pace. That's what usually happened when a victim confessed abuse, they got quiet then confessed.

Casey took a sip of her tea as Alex wiped her mouth with a napkin and stared down at her plate, "I felt…like," she exhaled and looked away to a waiter in the distance that she willed to trip and drop a tray anything to save her from this conversation that she needed so desperately.

Casey reached out and touched her hand softly, "It's okay to talk to me, it's you and me, and I won't tell anyone else."

"I feel like…less of a woman." She confessed so softly that Casey almost missed it.

"I did to." Casey assured her, "I felt like, it was my fault that my body wouldn't sustain my children, I thought…I was the worse person in the world, but you have Robert and I see how he looks at you, I see how much he loves you Alex."

"He's good to me, he's been patient with me through this. Gentle."

"He'll keep being there too but only if you don't shut him out."

"I try not to." Alex confessed, "I'm moody and confused and frustrated."

"That's normal, your body is recovering for a swing in your hormones, and frustration…sorry to say, comes with the territory." Casey told her compassionately, "But what is the confusion over?"

Alex exhaled and blushed.

"Ah…sex." Casey smiled softly, "I didn't want Paul to touch me." _Paul_. She said his name in her mind and hoped that by some act of God she would see him again, feel his arms around her, his lips against hers. She hoped.

"It's…I didn't want him to touch me, and it was okay at first because the doctor's said we couldn't, but one night I wanted him." She took her glasses off and placed them on the table as she pinched her nose, but then the next time…I practically jumped out of the bed."

"Also normal." Casey smiled softly, "How did he react?"

Alex smiled gently at the memory, "He brought me my pajama's while I tried to hide in the restroom, he helped me get dressed and then…held me that night." She whispered pawing at a tear.

"Sounds like you got a good guy there, Alex."

"I do." She agreed.

"I'm going to tell you something, and I'm not telling you so that you think my husband is bad, I'm telling you so that you realize he's changed and also I'm telling you so that you realize what you have in Robert." Casey informed her and exhaled.

"Okay."

"When I lost my first Baby, Paul didn't come out and say it, but I knew he blamed me. It was worse when I lost the second baby, I think because I was seven months along…he blamed me because I wouldn't take time off and ultimately the stress during a trial," Casey paused trying to hold back her tears, "the stress caused me to miscarry."

"I'm so sorry, Casey." Alex whispered squeezing her hand.

Casey forced a smile, "I didn't want him to touch me, and I didn't want him to be in the same room with me because I was so ashamed for putting my career before my baby."

"But you two made it." Alex smiled.

Casey tried to ignore the statement, "Yeah. We made it." She shook her head, "I was actually still with him when I first came to SVU, but I knew it wouldn't last when he started to accuse me of having an affair, and the nature of the job made me not want to be touched even more." She whispered wanting nothing more than to feel Paul sitting next to her right now, her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "Robert is a good man, Alex…and you're a good woman, talk to him, let him hold you, let him make love to you, and call me when things are getting rough, I'm always a phone call away." Casey smiled

"Thank you."

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Olivia knocked softly on Sam's door, "Baby, can I come in?" she asked and opened the door knowing there wouldn't be a response. "Hey, handsome, I was wondering if I could talk to you?" she asked sitting softly on the edge of his bed. "Can I lay next to you?" She asked and watched as he made room for her again.

"Samuel," Olivia stoked his hair, "I don't know why you're not talking. Did the man at the hospital do something to you?" she asked softly. Never in a million years did she ever think she would have to use this line of questioning with her own child. When there was no answer she continued, "Sam, did the boogie man…touch you…like your Dad use to, not Elliot, but your Daddy, Mr. Wilson?" she asked softly finding herself holding her breath as she waited for the answer. He shook his head no and she exhaled. "So, he hurt your shoulder…that's the only place he touched you?" she clarified and found relief when he shook his head yes.

"Honey," Olivia stroked his hair and kissed his cheek, "did he tell you something that upset you?" she asked softly and knew she hit the mark when he started to sob hysterically and climb into her lap. "C'mere." She whispered wrapping her arms around him, "What did he say, Baby."

Sam cried louder, "Mommy." His voice was rough as he held her tightly around her neck, "Mommy." He cried like all the children she had to pry from parents' hands and turn over to CPS, he sobbed uncontrollably like he never had in her arms. "Mommy!" He hiccupped and sucked in breath, his body forgetting to release it until she whispered into his ear to release it.

"Talk to me, Honey, tell me what he said to you."

"Mommy!" he sobbed into her neck as she leaned against his headboard and rocked him side to side.

"What's wrong?" Elliot peeked in from the door.

"Daddy!" Sam cried harder into Olivia's chest balling her shirt collar in his fists. She could feel his tears and his runny nose against her skin; she could feel his frantic breath and his shaking body.

Elliot sat next to Olivia and let her lean into him so that he could wrap his arms around both of them, or all four of them, as he liked to look at it. He stroked Sam's back as he cried against Olivia. "Go ahead and cry son, we'll listen when you're ready to talk." He assured him as he kissed Olivia gently on the crown of her head.

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"That boy is gonna kill me." Olivia muttered stretching her neck and grimacing at the mixture of tears and snot on her shirt.

"Come here, sit." Elliot smiled scooting further on the bed and allowing her to sit on the edge so he could massage her neck, "He's starting to talk." He whispered, "The walls are coming down, we'll get there."

"I want this guy Elliot, I want him as bad as I want the guy who took Isaac." She exhaled and leaned back against him, raising her hand to caress his face behind her, "Thanks for not shaving." She smiled to herself.

He kissed her neck, sucked softly and nipped at her jaw line, "Stitches are gone."

"Yeah…you look cuter without them." She whispered.

"Know what you look cute without?" he asked softly.

She chuckled, "What?"

He moved his hand to her blouse and slowly unbuttoned it with one hand, lacing her free hand with his, "You're clothes."

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"El," Olivia grumbled in her sleep and nudged him, "answer your phone."

"No." He mumbled back.

"Elliot…it's ringing...and it's one in the morning."

"Duh."

"Now's not the time to get smart, answer your phone so I can go back to bed."

Elliot groaned and reached for his phone, "Stabler." He muttered half asleep then suddenly bolted up, "Has anyone told her?" he asked immediately causing Olivia to sit up behind him. "No, no, yeah I'm glad you called, I'll come right now." He assured the caller as Olivia wrapped her arms around his chest and kissed the back of his neck softly.

"What's up?" she whispered not opening her eyes and wanting nothing more to repeat the fantastic time in bed they'd had only two hours ago and then go back to bed.

Elliot kissed her hand softly, "They found Paul."

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Elliot watched as the tow truck pulled the white ford F-150 out of the ditch. Casey was going to loose her mind when she hears about this. Elliot folded his arms and exhaled as the uniform cop approached him already shaking his head.

"I'm sorry Detective." The uniform bowed his head, "I tried to reach his wife, but there hasn't been an answer, I recognized his last name and I remember working with ADA Novak on a case, I put two and two together and eventually your number was given, my next stop was going to be your partner."

Elliot exhaled, "What happened?"

"Well, it's touch to say, no alcohol on the scene, he didn't smell like alcohol."

"He doesn't drink." Elliot whispered gruffly.

"Detective," The uniform pointed with his pencil, "This wasn't an accident…there are no skid marks."

Elliot pressed his lips together, "He wanted to kill himself."

"I believe so, Sir."

"Don't call me Sir." Elliot said out of habit.

"Detective," The uniform simply pointed to the white vehicle and Elliot knew.

"How are you writing this up?" Elliot asked.

"Mr. Stabler, we're talking about the husband of an ADA, I won't do anything unless you tell me too, right now, all I know is that this pickup went off the road, I don't know cause, could have swerved to miss a cat." The officer exhaled.

Elliot pressed his lips together and offered a thank you before heading to the unit the cop had pointed out, he opened the door angrily, "Come here!" Elliot reached in and grabbed Paul by his shirt yanking him out of the backseat of the patrol car.

"Let me go!" Paul struggled and gained his freedom slugging Elliot across his good cheek. Elliot spun around and punched Paul quickly in the face then the gut before putting him in a headlock and forcing him to his knees as the tow truck finally pulled away.

"I take it you got this?" The officer smiled knowing what Paul was in for.

Elliot nodded still controlling Paul and watching the officer slip into his cruiser and drive away to write the report of Paul swerving to miss a cat and running his truck off the road, "Did you think I wouldn't find you?" Elliot growled choking harder then suddenly releasing, "Stand up!"

Paul stood shakily only to have Elliot punch him clean across the face again, "That's for my face you ass! I just got my stitches out!" he reminded him absently checking his face and knowing that if he came home and had to have Olivia take him back to the hospital he'd be on the couch for a month…minimum.

Paul groaned on the damp ground and eventually stood to his feet again, "What…do you want?" he barked.

Elliot stepped closer, "What do I want?" He asked incredulously, "What do I want?" He asked again slapping him once and then twice, "Wake up, Man!" He barked, "Your wife is worried out of her mind that her husband has left her and her son!"

Paul cocked back and nailed Elliot square in nose causing him to stumble backwards, he regained his balance and tackled Paul to the asphalt, a punch to the face sent Paul reeling in pain, and Elliot wasn't sure who's blood was showing the most, "You left your son!" Elliot yelled pulling him up by his shirt.

Paul coughed and groaned, his body too weak to fight back anymore, "Elliot-"

"What!" Elliot barked then softened, "What, Buddy?"

Paul sobbed, "I want to die…I'm so sorry I lost your son."

Elliot felt his own eyes mist, and offered the man a reprieve, "You didn't loose him." He reminded him and pulled the man to his shaky feet, "You didn't loose him," Elliot stated firmly, "You almost lost your life trying to protect my son…" Elliot's voice broke as a tear escaped, "My son." He repeated, "You tried to save my son and now…I'm trying to save your marriage, Man."

"I'm completely worthless to her." Paul mumbled.

"She calls us four, sometimes five times a day, wondering if we've heard from you…she slept at our house the other day because she said your house is too big without you…she's struggling with Addison because you're not with her." Elliot explained exasperated, "She's head over heels in love with you, Man…you have to accept that."

Paul wiped his face on his shoulder, "I'm ashamed."

"Shame is pride." Elliot announced boldly, "You're assuming she doesn't want you…that Liv and I don't accept you and the truth of the matter is…if I would have had to tell my wife that our best friend died tonight…we would be devastated."

Paul blinked absorbing the information.

"Swallow your pride Paul. You told me once that if I didn't talk to Olivia, I mean really talk to her, I'd loose her," Elliot choked back his emotion, "let me tell you man, I almost died not having her for the months we we're apart…you lost Casey for years…don't do it again." Elliot warned, "and killing yourself is just being a pussy."

"Did you just call me a pussy?" Paul furrowed his brow.

"Yeah." Elliot took a step forward, "Show me your not and come home to your wife, show me your not a pussy and start talking to someone…your councilor, anyone, just talk." Elliot encouraged.

"I won't be able to make love to her." Paul exhaled.

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "Why?"

Paul looked up the corner of his mouth twitching, "You just beat the hell out of me."

Elliot smirked, "Get in the car."

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"You should have just taken me home." Paul groaned negotiating the steps to Elliot's house.

"It's two O'clock in the morning, Casey doesn't need to see you tore up."

"I'm not tore up…you barely tapped me." Paul scoffed.

"Please," Elliot opened the front door and whispered as they stepped in the house, "I sent your ass flying."

"You wish."

"I can show you again if you'd like?" Elliot suggested.

"No." Paul raised is hands in surrender, "I'm good."

"Alright, keep the noise down Sam is asleep, let me go check on Liv, I'll be right back with something you can sleep in." He said stretching his neck as he walked down the hall.

"Hey, Elliot?" Paul called down the hall to him in a loud whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Yeah well, if you survive Casey's wrath then you can thank me," he laughed, "You are so in trouble."

Paul rolled his eyes and sat on a kitchen chair.

"Liv." Elliot leaned down painfully to her mouth and kissed her.

"Hey," she smiled with her eyes closed and reached up for a deeper kiss when she felt the dirt on his clothes, the swell of his lips, she sat up immediately and turned the light on. She gasped seeing his face and nose, "What the hell happened?" She asked, "Your nose is bleeding." She screeched wiping the thin trail away. She slid out of the bed forgetting that she was naked from their previous encounter; she pulled him quickly into the restroom.

"What the hell Elliot?" She groaned pulling a Kleenex out and rolling it in her hand, "Tilt back."

"Liv-"

She shoved his head back, "Ouch," He groaned, "I am beat up in case you forgot."

"This is gonna hurt." She informed him shoving the Kleenex into one nostril and filling the other as he moaned and dug his fingers into her hips, "What happened?"

"I told you." He smiled, "They found Paul…he's here."

"Here?" Olivia furrowed her brow and wet a washcloth to clean up his face, "Like in our house?"

"Yep." Elliot smiled victoriously, "I beat the hell out of him."

She stared at him, "Care to explain why?" she asked carefully patting his cheek, "Damnit Elliot you know what the doctor said about this bone splintering and re damaging your eye." She hissed and slammed the rag back into the sink, "How could you be so careless?" She hissed.

"Hey," he whispered wrapping his hands around her naked waist, "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you so upset about this…we got Paul, Casey and Paul are gonna be okay."

"I know." She whispered looking away, "El, you've got to be careful with your eyes." She looked up at him, and kissed his lips softly, "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"It's okay." He assured her, "I'm sorry I was careless."

"Great." She groaned.

"What?"

"Your all banged up…we won't be making love for awhile." She smiled sheepishly.

"Hey, you should see Paul." He smirked, "Casey may as well check into a convent."

She rolled her eyes, "Get him some blankets, and you have extra sweats in the second drawer, tell him to shower first, I don't want dirt in the bed, let me get dressed and I'll be there in a sec."

"Liv…rest…go to sleep." He encouraged her.

"Yeah, right." She muttered.

He walked away to complete his assigned tasks while she slipped in a pair of track pants and a shirt. She walked out of the room and eyed Paul at the end of the hallway. Elliot saw the expression on her face but before he could do anything, she'd closed the gap between them and slapped Paul so hard that Elliot's face stung, "Don't you ever put Casey through what you just did this week." She stared at him as he stared back shocked. Her eyes softened immediately and pulled him into a hug, "And don't you ever scare the crap out of my again you stupid sonovabitch." He hugged her back, "I'm sorry Liv."

"Just don't do it again." She whispered and let go, "Get in the shower, you're dirtying the place up." she laughed softly and smiled.

"Yeah, you stink too." Elliot teased.

"El," Olivia raised her brows, "If you think your climbing in bed next to me without a shower you've got another thing coming'."

Elliot smacked his lips and tossed the last pillows onto the fold out bed, "I suppose that's my cue."

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Olivia stared at the clock as two battered men talked outside on the deck, she watched as Elliot leaned over and gestured with his arms occasionally pointing backwards to their room, she smiled knowing he was probably talking about her. She arched a brow hoping he wasn't talking about making love to her. She dismissed the thought when she heard a gentle knock at the door.

"Hey," Olivia whispered opening the door, "Nice to see you at three in the morning huh?"

Casey ran her hand over her tired face and picked up the car seat, "What did you drag me all the way over here for…and by the way, when I have more energy I'm going to chew you out for the little stunt you pulled with me and Alex."

"Noted." Olivia smiled softly, "How's Addison?"

"He's doing better, the pox seem to have let up on him…but you didn't bring me here for that did you?" she asked narrowing her vision on Olivia then having to brace herself on the countertop, "Oh no…you found Paul didn't you?" Her eyes started to pool, "He's…he's dead isn't he?"

Olivia hugged her tightly, "No, Honey, he's not." She whispered and released as she pointed outside the sliding glass door, "He's right there."

Casey stared in complete shock at the site of her husband actually hugging Elliot, his shoulders visibly shaking as they stood, "Where was he?"

"I'm not sure, a uniform called Elliot, something about him swerving an animal and running off the road…kiss his truck good bye." Olivia rubbed her back as she stared outside the window, "I tell you what," Olivia took her hand, "Why don't you come and say hi?"

Casey followed like a muted robot as Olivia slid the door open, "El?"

"Yeah?" Both men separated quickly and fixed themselves as if they we're never hugging, never crying.

Olivia rolled her eyes, "El, we need to go to sleep or we're gonna be screwed tomorrow." She reminded him.

Elliot shook his head and grabbed Paul's shoulder, "Take as long as you want out here, I have to his the rack…wife says so." He winked at Paul who offered a weak smiled.

Elliot passed Olivia and stared at Casey now better understanding Olivia's want for him to separate from Paul. He wrapped her in a warm embrace; "Go easy on him Case, he feels like crap."

"Thank you." She whispered looking at his face, "What happened to you?"

Elliot gave her a friendly kiss on her forehead, "Night Case, stay here tonight with your husband huh?" he asked before walking further away and waiting for Olivia.

"Paul?" Olivia spoke softly.

"Yeah?" He looked up at her with pure exhaustion in his eyes.

Olivia opened the door wider to reveal Casey as she whispered, "Someone's here to see you."


	10. Chapter 10 When Did That Get There?

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 10 When Did That Get There

A/N: This chapter is pretty risqué so if ya ain't over 18 spare yourself the details kiddies.

"I'll leave you two alone." Olivia bowed her head to turn, "Case, if you don't stay here, Addison will be in the nursery okay?"

"Thanks." Casey whispered in a rough voice without taking her eyes off of Paul. A world wind of emotion swimming in her eyes as she stared at Paul. Anger. Abandonment. Hurt. Worry. Frustration. It was all there, but as Olivia walked back into the house and heard the unmistakable sound of Casey's hand against what she assumed was Paul's face, she knew that right now, hurt and anger where at the forefront.

Casey's hand stung as she continued to stare at him, fighting to keep her tears at bay. She swallowed hard and even though she wanted to embrace him, kiss him and make love to him right there on their friend's back deck, she stood her ground.

He saw her anger and hurt and knew she had every right to feel that way. He took a step closer, "Casey I-"

She slapped him again and pushed him into the railing, still choosing to be quiet, but only because the only thing she thought she could say was that she loved him and was glad he was okay. But right now, she wanted him to know exactly what he'd done to her emotionally, and if slapping the crap out of him was what got the message through then by golly she was ready to pop him again.

"I deserved that." He whispered stepping back to her only to feel her swing again. He pulled his head back in time to miss the first palm, but it was the second one that nailed him. "Stop!" he protested raising his fingers to his lip.

"Stop?" She whispered narrowing her eyes at him, "Stop!" She hollered incredulously, "You mean like how you stopped when you got in your truck and walked out on me?"

"Casey-"

"Don't you dare tell me to stop!" She yelled again hitting his chest with both fists as she began to sob in frustration until he grabbed her wrists and forced them around his waist so he could embrace her.

"I'm so sorry I did this to you." He whispered, "I'm so sorry I was being selfish." He confessed placing his hand on the back of her head as she cried into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Casey."

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"Think their gonna work it out?" Olivia whispered as Elliot rested his hand on her abdomen.

"That or they're gonna wake Sam up…I don't think I've heard Casey yell so loud." He smiled sadly against her cheek as they lay together, "Did I ever tell you that you smell really great when you're next to me?"

Olivia laughed softly, "Elliot, come on…what if they don't work this out? What if they loose each other again?"

"They won't loose each other…and I meant what I said, you always smell so good next to me." He whispered kissing her shoulder through her pajamas.

"I'm so exhausted." She whispered.

"I know you are…don't worry about them, they are gonna pull through, Casey is rightfully upset, Paul feels ashamed, they're gonna talk this through and they're gonna make it."

Olivia laughed softly.

"What's so funny?" He nuzzled her, splaying his hand over her abdomen and absently rubbing his index finger back and forth.

"Well, if they do make up tonight…remind me to change the sheets on the sofa bed tomorrow."

"What?" He furrowed his brow, "Why- oh." He chuckled, "You don't think they would do that here do you?"

"Hey," she yawned, "As long as they pull through this and don't wake me up…I couldn't care less what they do." She turned in his embrace and smiled at him, "Kind of weird hearing them fight it out, huh?"

"They were there for us…we need to provide them with the same safety net." Elliot responded brushing her bangs away, "How are my little girls?" he asked bringing his hand to her belly, "your getting chubby." He teased.

"Wow," she looked at him slightly shocked, "And here I was thinking I wasn't too tired to have another go with my husband."

"Really?" Elliot waggled his brows.

"Yep." She grinned and kissed his mouth; "Right up until you said that." she winked.

"Oh, man." He groaned and then laughed.

"Come on El…I wouldn't feel comfortable with them here, much less them being here _and_ fighting, can we just try to sleep?" she smiled, "I'm sure there will be something in it for you tomorrow."

He pulled her flush against him and smiled as she tangled her feet with his, "Night Liv."

"Night, El."

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Casey pinched the bridge of her nose trying to keep the headache at bay, "I can't believe this is happening again." She whispered, "You just walked out."

"I know what I did was wrong and completely unfair to you…I didn't know what to do Casey, I was so angry and frustrated that I just wanted to…disappear." He told her softly, "I'm so sorry I hurt you…again."

She sniffled and bowed her head walking back to him and meeting him chest to chest, her green eyes starring up at him, her voice broken, "Why didn't you just talk to me, why did you shut me out on this?"

He swallowed, "I was…so ashamed, I couldn't protect Isaac, I was starting to not even want to hold my own son and when I couldn't make love to you for so long…I just…I'm broken Case, and I don't know how to fix it, there's no formula and I'm…scared." He whispered.

Casey touched his face softly and wiped a tear that had fallen from his eye. She surveyed his face, the worry lines that seemed more prominent, the split and bloodied lip, the swollen eye that she knew he wouldn't be opening tomorrow. She felt her own tear escape taking her anger with it as his fingertips grazed her cheek in an effort to wipe away the wetness. She exhaled deeply and buried her forehead in the crook of his neck, her hands hesitantly coming to rest on his hips, she sniffled, "Are you…are you okay?"

He rested his hand on the small of her back, "Just a little banged up." He assured her, "And really feeling like an idiot for making my wife worry so much." He whispered taking in a ragged breath, "Casey," He sobbed holding her tightly against him as he broke, "I'm so sorry." He choked out balling her shirt in his fist and crying into her neck, "I'm so sorry."

"Shh." She soothed him squeezing him tightly, "You're here now, and you're here with me."

"I don't want to loose you." He whispered through emotion.

"My hands are on you." She whispered, "You're hands are on me, I love you, I love you so much Paul, that when you left…it was like I didn't exist." She confessed, "I went through the motions of the day, but without you…they were just motions."

He cried harder into her body and held tightly to her small frame, "I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you." She whispered pulling away softly and cupping his tender face in her hands, "You scared the crap out of me…but I forgive you," she started to cry again, "please come home to me Paul, come home to Addison, I want to feel you next to me, I want you." She whispered kissing his mouth softly careful of the split but taken aback when he kissed her back eagerly, his open mouth over her lips until she willingly and perhaps just as anxiously opened her mouth to him.

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Elliot pulled the bottle of water out of the refrigerator, taking note that the lights were still on and the sofa bed was still empty but thank God the yelling had stopped. He smiled sadly to himself as he scrounged around the cubed for the Aleve, Paul could pack a punch. He took two in his palm, winced as pain shot through his head and decided if two were good, three were better, he tossed them into his mouth and took a swig of the water as he turned.

Elliot stopped immediately and swallowed the gulp of water in his mouth as a grin played on his lips watching through the sliding glass door as Paul and Casey kiss and explore one another's lips as if they were new lovers. He quickly sat the bottle on the counter and darted down the hall.

"Liv!" he called to her in a loud whisper, looking at the clock and knowing she was gonna kill him, she had to get up in two hours, "Liv, wake up." He told her pulling her up before she so much as stirred.

"What?" She jumped, "El, what the hell?" she protested as he practically dragged her down the hall, "Stop!" she barked trying to gain her footing, "Your hurting me!" she told him.

He let her go immediately, smiling and raising his finger to his nose to tell her to silent, "Look." He whispered guiding her around the corner and pointing out the sliding door. "I think they're coming to an understanding." He whispered holding his wife from behind.

She grinned, "They're gonna make it."

Elliot kissed her cheek softly, "I love you, Olivia."

She turned around in his embrace and kissed him through a smile as he walked backwards with her in his arms, "I love you too, Elliot." She whispered, "But if I don't get some sleep, I'll hate you in the morning." She grinned and kissed him again, as she fell on top of him over the mattress.

"Sure you want to sleep?"

"Yeah," She grinned, "Not enough sheets to go around."

They both laughed and curled up to one another and after several minutes he couldn't resist one last word. "Liv?"

"Olivia doesn't live here." She chuckled, "She's sleeping."

"I love you." He whispered with a sniffle as he pulled her tighter and nuzzled her neck.

She furrowed her brow at the intensity with which he spoke, she reached back and caressed his face, feeling the moisture on his cheek. She turned in his embrace and looked at him, "Hey, what's with the face?"

He blinked and nuzzled his nose against her, "I love you…I don't ever want to be away from you again."

She kissed his lips and smiled softly, "Hey, what's wrong? You we're so happy, and now you're so serious."

"I missed you, Olivia." He confessed.

Olivia looked at the clock over his shoulder and wondered if the lack of sleep was adding to her confusion, "Elliot, I've been right here." She smiled softly

"No." He whispered pulling her close to him, "When we we're apart…I know what Paul is feeling right now." He informed her, "and I know what Casey must be going through…because I put you through it…I'm so sorry."

She kissed him. She kissed him ardently and smiled as she pulled away, "That's over…don't apologize to me again…or I'll kick your butt."

He laughed softly and brushed her cheek, "It was hard Liv."

She nodded, "I know…it was hard for me too, and it's gonna be hard for them but they're gonna pull through and they'll be just as happy as we are." She grinned and ducked her head into his chest, "I love you."

Elliot grinned, "You make me happy." He whispered over her.

She rested her hand on his abdomen, "You make me smile."

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Paul and Casey finally managed to make they're way back into the living room, hands laced together in forgiveness and reprieve, "Looks like they've taken care of us." Casey whispered pointing to the pajama's Olivia had draped on the bed.

"They really do care about us." Paul murmured and Casey suspected it was more for his own convincing.

"Paul?" Casey whispered.

"Yeah?"

"When I wake up…you'll be next to me right?" she asked avoiding his gaze just in case he decided to walk away again.

He smiled softly and pulled her down on the bed with him, "I'll be here next to you tomorrow, and I'll be next to you everyday after that." He assured her kissing her mouth tenderly until she shifted her weight, straddling him and deepening the kiss. She pulled away and smiled feeling his erection under her; it was a feeling that she'd missed in the last month, not because they didn't actively try to make love to one another, but because his body wouldn't let him.

She leaned down and kissed him again trailing her tongue lightly along his jaw and whispering softly in his ear, "Make love to me."

"Here?" he whispered through a grin.

"Yeah." She smiled pulling her shirt off and taking his hand in hers and placing it on her breast, "I want you to make love to me…I've missed you."

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Olivia groaned hearing her cell phone go off, "No…no, you've got to be kidding me." She grumbled. The phone rang again and she peeked at the clock, only twenty minutes since Elliot had woken her up to see their friends engaging in a pretty intimate kiss. She'd fallen back to sleep afterwards pretty quickly and was now being woken up again. The phone sounded again and she grumbled kicking and flailing her arms in frustration like a child throwing a tantrum. Elliot snickered.

"Stuff it." She grumbled answering the phone and then nuzzling up behind him, "Benson." She muttered placing a kiss on his shoulder and resting her hand on his ribs to tell him she was just having fun with him. He reached back and rested his hand on her thigh, "alright, I'll be there in fifteen."

She hung up the phone and flopped back on her pillow, "Un-friggin-believable."

Elliot rolled quickly and kissed her hot and fast as he grazed her breast softly. She hooked a hand around his neck and pulled him closer as she moaned against him. He separated from her with a grin, "Thought I'd give you a jump start."

She laughed softly, "I think that did the trick."

He kissed her chastely on the mouth, "Better get going, I'll see you at work."

"No you won't." She groaned, "I'm processing…that was the call, some sort of multiple homicide in a sex ring, looks like an all day event."

"Well, I suppose I can see your cute little butt when we get home." He grinned and watched her leave the warmth of their bed and then turn to him and kiss him, "Get some sleep, El, and remember no mayo on Sam's sandwich, and tell him to call me when he wakes up if he needs too…not that he'll actually want to say anything." She exhaled, "Maybe I'll call him."

"Liv," he kissed her back, "It'll be okay, we'll get through the morning.'

"And Elliot?" She smiled pulling on jeans, "No sex jokes for Casey and Paul…no morning after glow comments, nothing." She warned pulling on a shirt and grabbing a coat.

"Who? Me?" He grinned then made a promise, "I'll be nice to them."

"Don't fold the couch, I'll change the sheets when I get home."

"Liv," Elliot grinned, "Come on, you don't think they would?"

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Trust me El, they did." She winked and turned out the light making her way through the house grabbing her weapon and badge and a fresh notepad. She smiled glancing over to the sofa bed, both friends clothed, spooning tightly, the unmistakable smell of sex in the air.

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Olivia stood at the door to Melinda Warner's office not exactly wanting to go in. She still hadn't talked with her since the cemetery and the truth of the matter was that she felt ashamed that it was taking her so long to come around to Warner. She'd tried to think of what it was that was bothering her so badly, of what it was that was preventing her from wanting to forgive the woman and now that she has found herself in front of her office door it finally dawned on her why she couldn't bring herself to come to Warner.

It was Warner who disturbed what she thought was her son's grave; it was Warner who handled the tiny infant and declared that it wasn't Isaac. Olivia had wanted to be the one to hold her son and tell the world that he was safe because his mother had him, he was alive. She wanted to be the one to say that Isaac wasn't dead, but instead she had accepted what she was told, it was Warner who didn't. It dawned on Olivia that she felt like Warner displayed more of a mother instinct with Isaac than she did, and for that she hated her and she hated herself.

She took a deep breath and walked in to see Melinda leaning over a cadaver a, small electrical saw in hand, "Detective." She smiled awkwardly, "This is only the second victim, and I've got four more to go until I can give you my report."

Olivia watched her carefully not responding but trailing her fingers over the counter before stopping and folding her arms, "Can you tell me what you know so far?" she asked shakily.

"Sure." Warner smiled softly knowing that Olivia was there for two reasons, one was to get information from the scene she processed from the morning and the other was to talk to Warner about Isaac. She had purposely waited for Olivia to come to her, not to prove a point or establish who was better because ultimately she hated herself for putting Olivia through it, but there were some things that had to play out certain ways, and she wanted Olivia to be comfortable enough to make the first move when she was ready.

Warner placed the saw to the side and retrieved a file from the first body that was autopsied, "Gun shot wound to the back of the head, castration, sod-"

"I'm sorry." Olivia cut her off.

"Gun shot wound." Warner repeated.

"No." Olivia shook her head and exhaled, "I mean, I'm sorry…for…treating you badly, for not being quick to forgive."

Melinda smiled and leaned on the examination table, "Olivia, you have nothing to be sorry for. If anyone should be apologizing it's me, and I am very sorry for keeping everything from you." She told her seriously as she removed her gloves and tossed them in the hazardous waste barrel. "I'm glad you came to me though…I was starting to get worried."

Olivia furrowed her brow, obviously uncomfortable, "I understand…why you all did it…it just stung."

"I know it did Olivia." She whispered, "and there isn't a day that passes that I don't wish I did things differently."

"I…I don't think," Olivia rubbed the back of her neck, "Boy, this is harder than it was talking to Casey."

"Take your time," Warner smiled and pointed to the body, "he's not going anywhere."

Olivia smiled softly at the remark, "I wanted to believe that Isaac was always alive, I wanted to hold him again." Olivia bit her lip as she continued, "I was…jealous of you."

"What?" Warner furrowed her brows. "Jealous of what?"

"Of you having the ability to know that my son was alive, of having that _instinct_ that I didn't have." Olivia whispered holding back her tears.

Olivia, "My instinct came as a medical examiner," she assured her rubbing her arm softly, "not as a mother."

"I miss him."

"I know you do." Melinda nodded pulling Olivia into a hug, "I'm sorry for how we played the hand Olivia, but you have to know, that just because I went on a hunch, doesn't mean you _were_ or _are_ any less of a mother to Isaac." She squeezed her tightly and released her, "You we're a grieving mother, Olivia, you weren't a detective, and that's okay."

Olivia exhaled and took the file from the counter top flipping through it and looking for key information to start building her case, "I've got to get going, this is actually not my collar, they just needed a processor, I've got to brief the Captain, blah blah blah." She smiled softly as Warner walked her out.

"How's Samuel? Cragen tells me he's brilliant." Warner grinned.

"He's really good." Olivia smiled, "You should meet him." She said as she stretched her neck and then suddenly stopped when she saw something that peeked her interest in the corner of the corridor, "When did that get there?" Olivia asked pointing to the surveillance camera.

Melinda rolled her eyes, "Federal Law, all medical facilities must be monitored."

Olivia furrowed her brow and looked at Melinda, "All of them? Even a hospital?"

"Last time I checked hospitals are medical facilities…what's the sudden interest?" she asked sticking her hands in her lab coat.

Olivia looked back at the camera, a sudden realization flooding her senses, "Would they have them in the waiting area in front of the nurses stations…like at an emergency room?"

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Olivia watched from the threshold of Casey's office as the redhead stared out the window, a small smile on her face as she rocked gently in her chair, "Didn't think you'd come to work today." Olivia interjected her thoughts softly.

"Olivia!" Casey smiled, "Sorry, I didn't know you where there, what brings you buy so late?"

"I'm actually on my way home…thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing."

"I'm good." Casey smiled, "Thank you so much for letting us crash, I didn't mean to put you out."

"Spare me." Olivia laughed, "We love having Addison around and as far as you and Paul go…it looked like you both needed a safe place to land."

"Yeah."

Olivia resisted the urge to tease her for having a sexual romp in her living room, "You two doing better? Last I saw you two, it sounded like you'd slapped him."

"Yeah." Casey blushed and exhaled, "About four more times after that too."

"Really?" Olivia raised a brow, "Wow, I thought I was the violent one."

Casey chuckled and then rested her chin in her hand, "I was so angry and hurt…all I could do was slap him."

"I slapped Elliot once...punched him once too." Olivia smiled softly, "I felt like crap for weeks, then again I also hit him with a flashlight." She smiled hoping to lift Casey, "I think he understands."

"He told me you and Elliot knocked some since into him."

"You mad?"

"No!" Casey assured her, "I thought I lost him, and if it took him getting the crap knocked out of him to come back to me…then start knocking'."

"Elliot's pretty banged up." Olivia smiled, "He'd never admit it but I think Paul got in some good licks."

Casey laughed, "You don't think it's wrong to laugh at our husband's form of communication?"

Olivia shrugged, "Paul beat the hell out of Elliot and brought him home, Elliot was returning the favor." She grinned, "What goes around…"

Casey shook her head and smirked, "We have strange husbands."

Olivia smiled, "We have great husbands."

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Olivia unzipped her boots as she stepped into the comfort and safety of her own home, she deposited her weapon and badge in the foyer drawer and engaged the lock they'd installed to prevent Samuel from hurting himself. She eyed her watch groaning that she was home two and a half hours late, she smiled seeing Elliot asleep on the couch a bottle of water in his hand, the baby monitor next to the couch.

She padded lightly to Sam's room and knocked softly on the door before opening it and seeing Sam laying on his bed in silence, his hand stroking Tripod gently as the little dog snored softly. She'd wondered if she was pushing him too hard, going to school and then the center but he never complained, he just came home and caught some sleep before dinner and homework time.

"Sam?" She whispered his name so as not to startle him. She watched him and was sure he wasn't asleep. Tripod opened one eye and watched her suspiciously as she lay next to Sam and stoked his hair softly, when the dog was fine she came in peace he continued to sleep. "Hey Baby, you didn't call me today…I missed you." She told him kissing his head softly.

Sam sat up slowly and slid off the bed to retrieve something from his nightstand. Olivia furrowed her brow when he placed his allowance money on the bed. She counted it as he laid it out and she made a mental note that he hadn't spent a dime since they started giving him an allowance, "You saved all of your money?" she asked with a smile.

Sam nodded yes.

"You're a man after my own heart, Sam." She grinned and noticed he was far too serious.

"Do you want to buy something, Sam?"

He nodded yes.

"What would you like to buy?" she asked, "Ice cream?"

He nodded no.

"Okay, no ice cream…how about I wake up your dad, we go out for dinner and then stop by the store on our way back home?"

Sam nodded his head, "Ok." He whispered softly.

Olivia beamed. Two syllables, but they were beautiful.

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"Tummy full?" Olivia asked running her hand through his hair as they walked into the local drug store.

Sam furrowed his brow and nodded his head yes.

"What does he need?" Elliot furrowed his brow as they led him into the store.

"He didn't say." She shrugged, "Just said he wanted to buy something."

Elliot wrapped his hand around her waist and gave her a sneaky smile, "I went fishing today."

She raised her brow at him as she helped Sam navigate the store, "No you didn't, you went to work." She smiled.

"Oh, I went fishing," he assured her and leaned in to whisper, "I pulled a fantasy right out of lake Olivia…very interesting." He smiled and simply walked off in the store.

Olivia tried to make the blush on her face go away as she talked to Sam, "Baby, can you tell me what you're searching for?"

He pulled her down do him, "Mom?"

She smiled; he was starting to warm back up, "Yeah Honey?"

"Why do some people smell different and some smell the same?" He asked taking in her scent, "Your different from Daddy but Alex is the same as Robert so I have to listen to their feet she steps lighter and quicker than he does…he's loud." He told her scratching his head.

Olivia mulled the question over in her mind and then finally realized what he was getting at, "Some people like to wear perfume or cologne, some of the perfumes are made for boys _and_ girls and some only belong to boys _or_ girls…Alex and Robert wear the same type of perfume, me and your daddy wear different ones." She smiled, he really was good at noticing the small stuff, and then it dawned on her, "Did you want to buy something like that?"

He shook his head 'yes'.

She exhaled knowing he was probably done talking for now; she walked with him down an aisle that had some relatively inexpensive fragrances on one side and deodorants on the other. She looked up and furrowed her brow seeing Elliot just beyond the way in the feminine hygiene aisle, _Oh boy_, she groaned inwardly as she watched Sam run his fingers over the bottles on the shelf.

She helped him with the caps growing more and more tired by the minute. The night hadn't been good to her and even though she was glad Casey and Paul were back together and working on their problems she was dying to get some sleep. She was happy when Sam finally made his selection.

"You sure Baby? This is sort of for older people…like Captain Cragen." She smiled.

Sam took the small box from her and turned around, he was ready to go. She smiled and led him to the register where he waited for Olivia to guide his movements as he placed his item on the counter.

"Thirteen-eighty-seven." The cashier smiled.

Sam dug in his pockets and pulled out all his money.

"Save your money Baby, I'll pay for it." Olivia offered pulling out some loose bills from her pocket.

"NO!" Sam barked startling her.

She raised her brows and smiled, "Okay, go for it."

Sam placed the wadded cash on the counter and walked away.

"Hey," Olivia laughed, "You got change commin." She rolled her eyes taking it from the cashier and grabbing the small sac while Elliot waited patiently by the exit with his own purchase.

"What did you buy?" Olivia asked in suspicion.

"For me to know and you to find out." He grinned kissing her forehead, "Hey Sam…what did ya get? Can I see?" he asked placing his hand on the bag only to have Sam jerk the bag away.

"No." he responded softly and held firmly to Olivia's elbow.

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Elliot pried the ice cream sandwich out of Sam's hand as the little boy slept on the couch, "Looks like too much excitement for the day huh?" Elliot laughed holding up the half eaten ice cream and moving to deposit it in the trash.

"Wow," Olivia smiled, "I think that's that first time I've seen him not finish an ice cream."

Elliot snaked his arms around her waist and kissed her neck softly, "He never did put any of that cologne on, he just put it on his nightstand."

She turned in his embrace and smiled up at him, "He's probably waiting for tomorrow…thanks for changing the sheets on the bed and putting it away from me."

"Well," he grinned, "I also washed them and folded them, so…looks like you owe me big."

"Oh really?" she arched her brow and kissed him through a grin, "How's that?"

"No," He shook his head, "Sorry, I need at least ten percent down, and then there's interest, don't take it personal, it's just bus-"

She cut him off bringing him back to her lips and placing her open mouth over his, tickling his lips with her tongue until they opened and she gained entrance. She stroked his tongue slowly and smoothly, her breath against his lips, his against hers. She let out a satisfied moan and ran her tongue over his teeth before separating from him and smiling, "How about that?"

Elliot lowered his lips to hers and nipped softly at her bottom lip, "I could take that as a down payment."

"Really?" she whispered to him, "Cause I was really hoping to pay in full tonight."

He grinned.

She pulled away with a sly smile, "Could you lay Sam down for me?"

He exhaled, "You did that on purpose."

"You make it easy." She shrugged and walked down the hall.

"You won't find it." He called to her.

"Find what?" She asked trying to pretend she wasn't getting ready to search.

"What I bought at the store, I know your looking for it." He grinned as he picked his son up, "I know where it is, and you wont find it."

She furrowed her brow and smacked her lips, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Elliot rolled his eyes as he took Sam to his room, "Right."

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Olivia stepped out of the shower yawning and stretching before she towel dried and pulled Elliot's dress shirt over her body, securing four of the buttons and then smiling to her self and undoing one of them. She stepped into the room to find Elliot standing in front of the door with a sneaky grin on his face, his boxers his only source of cover.

"What's in your hand?" She smiled at him suspiciously, "What are you up to?"

He pulled her closer to him by her shirt and pressed him self against her purposefully letting her feel that he was still soft, "Nothing yet…but maybe you could help me with that?"

She stood even closer to him so that there hips could meld and become one if such a thing were possible, she smiled and kissed him softly on the mouth, teasing him with her tongue, her breast meshed with his chest, the thin barrier of cotton between them. She pressed her tongue into his mouth and ran her down his chest and abdomen stopping at the waistband of his boxers as her other hand ran the length of his arm, slowly. She continued to kiss him as he moaned against her and walked her back into the wall. "I know what your doing." He whispered pushing her away and stepping back, "Won't work." He panted.

"What?" She faked innocence.

Elliot held up a piece of paper and smirked, "You were seducing me to get this out of my hand."

"Me?" She grinned pointing to herself, "No."

He stepped back to her, his erection tenting his boxers as he pressed into her body and ran his hand up her thigh, "Your lying to me." He whispered bringing his hand higher and seeing that she had skipped the underwear.

She tilted her head back as he kissed her neck, "No…I'm not." She whispered caressing his head with her hands, feeling his hands on her backside, kneading the flesh of her body. She could feel him hard and long against her and she smiled knowing she could make him react so quickly, but she also knew his commitment to satisfying her meant he was vulnerable, and with one quick motion she snatched the paper from his hand and bolted.

"Hey!" He grinned grabbing her wrist and turning her so they fell on the bed gently, her on her back, him hovering over her, keeping his weight off of her abdomen, "You cheated."

She grinned and then gasped feeling him rub against her again, and his hand snatch the paper from her, a victorious smirk on his face, "Imagine my smile when I pulled this little piece of paper out of your box and read what was on it." He whispered sucking softly on her chin as she arched into him, "Very vague."

Olivia stopped and looked at him, "Huh?" she furrowed her brow, "What do you mean vague, I'm pretty specific," She laughed, "There was the kitchen chair, the washing machine, the-"

He held up the paper so she could read it, "Something different." She read out loud and smiled, "Well…I know your pretty imaginative," she said seductively as she reached into his boxers and stroked him tenderly, "Let's see what you came up with, Detective." He moaned against her lips and took her to the top of the bed as he sucked playfully on her tongue and lips.

She withdrew her hand from him, smiling at his groan of protest as he reached for something, "I'm defiantly up to something now." He chuckled and pulled a small paper sac up to his chest and sat back on his heels.

"That was your hiding spot? Out in the open?" she asked with a smile.

He shrugged and smirked, "It worked."

"What we're you doing in the feminine hygiene section El?" She furrowed her brows at him, "Is there something…is there something you don't like about me?"

He looked at her and smiled at the fact that she truly was clueless in this moment, to ease her worries, there was only one thing he could do. He backed him self slightly and kept eye contact with her as he lifted the dress shirt up over her abdomen and kissed his children softly, making his way down to her navel and smirking remembering her childhood belief. He made his way lower and kissed her gently breathing in her scent that made him even harder than he already was, he pushed her legs up over his shoulders and devoured her, until she screamed and her thighs nearly suffocated him. Hell of a way to go.

She was reduced to frantic panting and whimpering as he hovered over her, kissing her softly until her body soothed. He lowered his lips to her ear, "Does that answer your question?" he asked with a small laugh.

She blushed even more, "Loud and clear." She grinned as he lay next to her, "So," She nodded to the bag, "then what is in the bag?"

Elliot exhaled, his face suddenly serious, "Your note said 'something different' right?"

"Yeah," She smiled, "So long as there isn't a whip or something in there."

"No whip." He assured her, "But…I did want to try something, and if you're apprehensive about it, we don't have to."

"Ell-" Before she say anything further the door bell rang, "Un believable." She groaned, "It's late, who is here so late?"

"I'll get it."

"Elliot, I think you're a little to happy right now." She grinned touching him softly, "Are you and exhibitionist? Because you always want to answer the door standing at attention."

He grinned at her, "I'm a proud soldier."

She rolled her eyes and quickly dawned her robe before she left to see who was at the door. "Who is it?" She asked looking through the peephole. The person was familiar but she couldn't place him.

"Mr. Passtran from down the road."

She cinched her robe tighter and smiled when she opened the door, "Hi, Mr. Passtran, what brings you by?" she asked knowing that they're conversation usually only consisted of, hellos and talk of the weather.

"Well," The older man blushed at her attire and averted his eyes to which she was grateful. She offered him a bit of mercy and hid as much of her body behind the door as possible so he could at least look at her when he spoke, "I feel really foolish."

"Why's that?" Olivia furrowed her brow, wishing he'd just spill so she could go experience 'something different' and then hit the sac.

"Well, several day's ago my wife and I were pulling out of our driveway and we heard your house alarm go off, the lights were all on and we could see your cars, so we knew you were home, and when it shut off pretty quickly we'd assumed it was an accidental trip." He assured her digging into his pocket.

"Oh, it was…I'm sorry, did it bother you?" She asked trying to be polite; he was after all a senior citizen.

"Oh, no Miss. It's quite alright, but…we were on our way to the airport to catch a red-eye to visit my grandson…they're having a baby." He smiled, "Anyway, as we made our way down the street here, we saw something a little odd."

Olivia furrowed her brow and felt her skin grow warm, "What's that Mr. Passtran?"

"This man was running and limping along the road over by your mail boxes there." He told her pointing behind him, "He got in his car and tore out of here like a bull that had just been cut loose to buck."

Olivia's eyes narrowed, "Did you see anything else? Car color, what was he wearing?"

He blushed again, "I'm so sorry, Miss, we we're running a bit late, but I did manage to get the first four digits of the plate as it went down the road." He told her handing her the paper, "I wasn't gonna say anything but the Misses has nagged me the whole trip…it's probably nothing right?"

Olivia looked at the paper knowing it was her first solid clue; she smiled softly, "Right."

"Well," He smiled, "I would have gotten it to you sooner, but we just got back from the airport…I apologize."

Olivia smiled, "No need, have a safe night Mr. Passtran."

"You too, Miss." He tipped his hat and left.

Olivia closed the door and headed straight for the phone dialing a number, "Hey, Fin, it's Liv…I'm completely aware of the time, and the fact that you answered your desk phone, which means, you cut your vacation short, what gives…sucks…actually yeah, can you run a partial plate search for me…first three…all of New York, I'm aware it'll take a long time but could you do it…three…double you…kay… thank you so much Fin." She exhaled and hung up the phone placing the scrap paper in the drawer of the kitchen, she would tell Elliot tonight, but definitely later.

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Olivia made her way back into the room and jumped with a start as Elliot crept behind her and spun her around to face him, "Hi." He grinned.

"Hi." She smiled back feeling his erection still very much against her, "I see you're still up to no good." She kissed him playfully then pulled back, "You gonna tell me what's in the bag or what?"

He grinned and helped her out of her robe back under the comforter, "Well," he suddenly felt like this was a bad idea, "I kind of thought you and I could," he cleared his throat, "maybe experiment with something."

"Okay," she shrugged her shoulders, "What is it though?"

"Um…you know what?" He exhaled, "This is stupid, never mind, we can ju-"

She moved quickly pinning his shoulders to the mattress and kissing him on the mouth, "I have to talk to you after this, which means I really want to enjoy you right now, and what ever you have planned. Let me hear it…I want to know what's in the bag." She told him kissing his chest softly and feeling his nipples rise at her lips caress.

He still wasn't budging.

She smirked and reached for the bag dumping its contents on the comforter, "Hmm," She furrowed her brow, "want to fill me in?" she chuckled and held up the box, "Why condom's?" she laughed and patted her belly, "It's a little late for that." And then she suddenly frowned and searched him intently, "El…are you…are you having second thoughts about the babies?"

"What?" He turned at her sharply, "No, absolutely not!" he assured her then blushed looking at the condoms, he exhaled, "They're ribbed."

"Huh?" She furrowed her brow and looked at the box, realization of what he wanted setting in, "I thought guys didn't like to wear condoms?" she teased him rubbing into him softly.

He swallowed and smiled, "We don't…but these are supposed to be very pleasurable for you."

"But what about you?" She asked kissing his lips and cheek, "What about you're pleasure?"

"Let me watch you when you come." He whispered reaching up and unbuttoning her shirt, he slid his hand up her stomach and cupped her breast tenderly in his palm not knowing if she'd reached the point in her pregnancy where she was sore yet. He grazed her nipple softly; "Your breasts are darker when you're pregnant."

She blushed and self-consciously closed the shirt over her until he stopped her, "I didn't say I didn't like it." He whispered kissing her neck softly, and opening the shirt back up, "Your breasts are beautiful." He told her kissing them lightly, as she rested her hands on his shoulders; he kissed the handprint of his son lightly, "Are they sore?"

"A little." She whispered leaning into him and forcing him back on his back, she smiled and picked the box of condoms back up, "Your not gonna wuss out on me now are you?"

He blushed, "If you don't like the id-"

She covered his lips with her hand, "I told you," she whispered, "I'll try anything you want once." She reminded him as she sat back on his thighs and opened the box retrieving a condom and placing the bag back off the bed. She stopped and looked at him, suddenly realizing there might have been another reason why he was trying to back out, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?" he responded stroking her thigh softly.

"This doesn't make you uncomfortable?"

"Your not heavy." He smiled.

"No." She shook her head, "I mean, it doesn't bother you…that I might like these, that they might feel good to me?"

"No…I picked them up so you could experience them." He assured her, "As long as your happy, I'm happy."

She nodded her head softly, "But…don't you…_want_ to feel me?" she asked wondering why she made that fantasy so vague in the first place.

He grinned, "Every waking second…and even in my dreams."

"Then…why do you want a condom?"

"Olivia," He smiled, "I told you, I just think you'd really like them, I mean, the box does say 'ribbed for her pleasure'," He grinned and assured her, "I'm fine with it, I can still feel you…not as much as I would without one, but I can still feel you…it's sort of like the time you made love to me, just after we finished Sam's room…you only wanted me to come…tonight, I want you to experience something different." He assured her rubbing into her softly, "It's okay, Liv."

"You're sure?"

He laughed at her innocence, "I'm sure."

She bit her bottom lip as she raised up on her knees so he could slide his boxers down and cast them away, she grinned as his erection danced in it's new found freedom, "Still up to no good huh?"

He smiled, "As long as you're touching me."

She laughed and leaned down to kiss him, feeling him slide the shirt off of her shoulders as he used the strength of his body to sit them both up, he kissed her in a mixture of playfulness and passion, teased her nipples until they peeked painfully forcing her to cling to him tightly in order to surprises her cries, she felt him tapping her entrance softly, "Let me hold you Elliot, let me hold you inside of me first…just you." She panted, bucking her hips into his.

He arched up and inserted just the tip and stopped immediately when she dug her nails into his neck and let out a whimper of pain.

"What's wrong?"

She groaned, "It…hurt."

"Okay," he kissed her softly, and reached between them both massaging her entrance gently with one finger and then another as she tilted her head back and moaned at the pleasure of his touch.

"Better?" he grinned.

She chuckled, "Yeah."

He entered her gently making a mental note that since her muscles were going haywire, and she wanted to talk to him, something was definitely up, but for now, he'd let her have her fantasy. He moved softly inside of her only to feel her stop him, "No…don't move." She whispered lying over his body as hers protected him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she kissed his neck softly, "I just love feeling you inside of me, I love the way you feel."

He smiled, "It's okay to use the condom Liv, you're not depriving me." He assured her, sensing that she may be feeling like she was gypping him out of a pleasurable experience. He reached over, as she kissed him full on the mouth, and he grabbed the condom placing it in the palm of her hand as her tongue stroked the roof of his mouth. He pulled away softly and smiled at her, "It's okay…trust me."

She worried her bottom lip and opened the condom with her fingers, Elliot was a little surprised when she backed over his thighs breaking their connection and looking at him as she bent and kissed the tip of him before running the tip of her tongue down to his shaft and back up again. She wanted to make sure he experienced as much as possible.

She ducked her head down and he wasn't exactly sure what she was doing until he felt the awesome sensation of her rolling the condom over him with her mouth, "Wow," he breathed, "Where did you learn that?" he chuckled.

"Shh." She whispered massaging his sac gently and kissing her way up his body to his mouth. The rise and fall of his chest more rapid as she felt her own chest caress his. "I had a rough day, El." She whispered over him, "It was really…bad."

"I know," he whispered, kissing her neck, "I can feel it in your body," he told her rolling and tucking her safely below him, "let me make you forget." He told her ducking his head and kissing her breast softly, he rubbed himself into her and smiled as she jumped slightly and gasped, "Like that?" he asked with a grin.

She blushed, "Yeah." She answered and rested her hands on his hips, rising up and thrusting him inside her. She moaned and gasped at the incredibly different sensation, "Oh." She whispered in surprise, "Oh."

"Oh?" he grinned, "I take it, you're enjoying yourself?"

She shifted her weight so she was straddling him again and moved over him expertly, surprised to see that he seemed to be enjoying himself as much as she was. "Wow." She managed to whisper as she increased their rhythm, his moans, answered with her whimpers as he stroked her core softly.

She smiled, tangled her hands in her own hair as the sensation in her body built, he held her hip with one hand and thrust into her faster as she moaned louder, "Close." She whined as he sped up meeting her thrust with his own, hearing her panting as she lowered her hands and touched her breast then covered his hand with hers so they stroked her together faster and harder until she came sinking her teeth into her lip to keep quiet. He pulled her over his body still hard and protected by her own. He stroked her back softly, until her body settled.

She knew he hadn't come and was determined to let him. She pulled away and kissed his mouth "Take it off." She breathed over his lips.

"No." He grinned, "I want to make you come again."

She nipped at his bottom lips, "I want you to feel me." She whispered, "I want to feel you."

"I want to watch you cum." He whispered as he started to move his hips.

"Please." She moaned at the sensation and whispered in his ear, "I want to feel you come inside of me."

"Liv, I-"

"Take it off." She whispered locking eyes with him and reaching down between them to gently remove the condom, "You've accomplished your task Detective." She smiled, "Let me accomplish mine." She whispered rising slightly and taking him inside of her smiling as he gasped and threw his head back.

"Your amazing." He panted digging into her thighs, "Your gonna kill me."

She smiled and took his hands into hers, "I love you." She whispered as she began to rock her hips matching his rhythm and feeling him tighten his hands over hers breaking their hold and caressing her derriere with his hands.

"I…love…you too, Liv." He panted thrusting into her.

She suddenly changed positions straightening her legs between him and locking her ankles hearing him moan and dig his hands into her back at the new sensation as she continued to move over him, "I close El."

He groaned as she kept her legs straight, arched her back up and exposing her breast to him, to which he happily sucked and nipped as he used his hands to drive her hips deeper. Her moans became whimpers, which were slowly becoming tiny shrieks as she wrapped her hands under his shoulders and drove herself into him, "I'm close Liv." He managed to choke out.

"Come with me." She whispered arching her back again and feeling the tip of him hit her and cause her to jump.

"I want to see you."

"Come." She encouraged him moving faster over his body until he shocked her with a scream into her neck, a gentle, breathless kiss over her mouth before she pushed him back on the bed, "Touch me." She whispered placing his hand on her core with him still inside of her. She was close and she wanted him to enjoy the view.

He stroked her already sensitive anatomy and watched as she began to tense, he increased the pressure and watched her head roll back, her lips part, and her brows furrow as she came with a shuddering force.

Out of breath, she lay over him, exhausted and in need of sleep. She carefully rolled to the side knowing he was sensitive to touch; she nuzzled next to him, "Wow." She whispered, "That was definitely great."

He chuckled "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She agreed kissing his naked chest.

"Um…the condom?"

She smiled and looked up at him, "That was defiantly a good idea, but you…you're always a better idea." She assured him and kissed him softly, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

She nuzzled her nose to his and whispered, "Do they sell those in bulk?"

He laughed out loud, "You know…for someone who was apprehensive you took to it like a duck to water."

"Hey," She blushed, "If you could feel that…you'd be all over it."

"I saw you come…believe me, I'm all for it." He laughed and let her rest against him. After several minutes he thought she'd gone to sleep, he was wrong when she started to talk.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, I asked Fin to run a partial plate for me…for us." She clarified and sat up to face him, the sheets covering her breast to which he simply reached out and softly pulled the sheet down to leave her exposed as she talked. She blushed never being able to figure out why he liked to see her entirely naked even when they discussed the most serious of topics.

"What's the plate number from?" he asked propping himself up on his elbow and resting his hand on her naked thigh.

"The door," She said pointing behind her, "It was Mr. Passtran from up the road, he said the day the alarm was tripped he saw a limping man running and jumping into a vehicle, he managed to get the first three digits…I asked Fin to run it."

"Liv."

"I know…if Captain finds out that I did it without telling him, I'm dead, but what if I told you something else?" She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked at him in pure exhaustion from their recent encounter and her current state of unrest.

"What?" he asked rubbing her thigh with his thumb, "What is it?"

"I went to the hospital today and-"

He immediately shot up in the bed and caressed her abdomen, "Are they okay? What happened? Why didn't you say something Olivia? Were you having pains? What happened? Is that why you haven't felt them yet? What's goi-"

She laughed softly and covered his hands, leaning in and resting her forehead against his, "Shh." She caressed his face, "The girls are fine." She whispered, "They're fine, I didn't go to see the doctor, I went to check out a hunch."

He exhaled and pulled her close to him his chest against her back so he could rub her abdomen, "What hunch?" he asked still clearly shaken by his previous explosion of worry.

"I talked to Warner today…about a few things actually, I had to be there for the case, but I think she and I are good now." She assured him.

"Good, I'm really glad to hear that." He smiled against her, "Let's hear this hunch, what's up?"

"I was walking out of Warner's office and noticed a surveillance camera, she said all medical facilities are required to have one, so I went back to the hospital and went to the nurses station where I left Sam."

"And?"

"There's a surveillance camera fifteen feet from where he was."

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Olivia woke up to a soft beeping sound, it was distinct…the alarm was being disarmed. She furrowed her brow and noticed that Elliot's arms were still around her, which meant one of two things, Sam disarmed the alarm…or someone else was in the house. She slipped out of the bed and pulled on flannel pants and a camisole not exactly wanting to go see what was happening. She walked the length of the hall, her back against it, crouched low as she padded stealthily through the house to the foyer drawer, disengaging the lock as she heard a louder noise coming from Sam's room. She tried to place the noise and realized, it was the sound that was made when his window opened.

She grabbed her weapon and moved quickly, her palms sweating against the cold steel of her weapon as she disengaged the safety and quietly chambered her protection. She looked in the distance and noticed Sam's door was open but the noise soon changed to a grunting sound, a muffled, struggle. She bolted into the room, envisioning a man yanking her son through the window with his mouth covered as he cried for her.

In a split second she'd reached his door and raised her weapon to the direction of the window as she flipped on the light and opened her mouth to yell her command to freeze when she instantly stopped at the site of Sam struggling to remove the screen from his window.

"Sam?" She called softly immediately disengaging her weapon and placing it high on a shelf, "Baby, what are you doing?" she asked walking into his room.

"Sam…it's Mommy…what's going on Baby?" she asked again as he continued to struggle with the screen. She stood to her feet and helped him pull it off even though she didn't quit know why he wanted it off. She watched him take the screen and lay it on his bed as Tripod looked on through sleepy eyes.

She looked at the various items he had on his bed, the screen, a pair of Elliot's jeans, her leather form fitted jacket, "Honey, why is all of this stuff on your bed?" she asked then found herself surprised when he reached out and took her hand into his and forced her to run her fingertips over the screen, "I don't understand Baby…can you talk to me?"

He frowned and pressed his lips together and took her hand to Elliot's jeans, "They're your Daddy's." She told him.

He shook his head violently to tell her that wasn't the point of what he needed her to know, so he pulled her hand to the jacket, "It's mine." She whispered in confusion, "Do you want one like it?"

In frustration he slammed his fist into the mattress and rested his face in his hands.

"Tell me Honey." She whispered reaching out and stroking his hair, "Please, talk to me Baby, I don't understand what your trying to tell me," her voice started to break, "Please talk to me Sweet Pea, please use your voice."

He pressed his lips together and she saw the furrow of his brow disappear as if he just had an idea he turned from his bed and felt for the handle to his nightstand and retrieved the box he'd purchased from the store. He reached out for her and wedged his body between her legs as he opened the box and pulled out the bottle of cologne.

"Old Spice?" She asked shocked at his selection, she hadn't really realized what he picked she was so exhausted. "Did you want to put it on?"

In frustration he brought his hand down inadvertently causing a slapping sensation on her thigh to which she winced, "Hey," she made her voice firm, "I understand your upset, but it is not okay to hit me, alright?"

He exhaled and rubbed his tiny paw over her thigh and pulled her hand back to the items he'd set out forcing her to touch each one until she finally had a hunch, "Sam…are you trying to describe someone to me?"

He shook his head fast and ran her hand over the screen again telling her that's exactly what he was doing.

"Who?"

He ran her hands over the items again thrust the fragrance back into her hands as he wedged himself between her legs again. She opened the cap and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end…the unmistakable smell of cheap cologne. Her mind knew it was familiar and knew it was important but didn't have time to process it as Sam started to sob. She capped it quickly realizing it was a trigger. She placed it behind her and embraced him pulling him onto her lap.

"Are you telling me about the man at the hospital Sam?" she asked softly, "Is that what your trying to tell me?"

He balled her shirt in his fist and let out a cry from so deep within him that all she could do was bring him tighter to her and caress his back as he held her tight and whispered over and over again, "The Boogieman, Mommy, the boogieman."


	11. Chapter 11 Give Me Back My Son!

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 11 Give Me Back My Son

Olivia rocked Sam softly in her arms as he cried against her chest, "It's okay Samuel…it's okay to talk." She whispered kissing his head, "Talk to me Baby, why is your heart upset?"

He sniffled and held tightly to her, in fact, between Elliot's hands on her legs, and Sam's hands squeezing about her body she thought she would probably look like a battered wife tomorrow, "Tell me what happened at the hospital Baby, tell me why you think I'm upset with you…please just tell me." She whispered feeling the warmth of her tear fall.

He pulled away from her softly and hiccupped, "Cause I got your favorite shirt ruined."

She furrowed her brow, "Baby, what are you talking about?"

"When we went to the hospital, I heard you and Daddy talking in the car. Daddy said he liked your shirt and you said it was your favorite, I didn't mean to wet." He suddenly became more anxious, squirming on her lap, "I didn't mean to, I promise." He told her resting his forehead into her shoulder, "I promise, Mommy."

She wrapped her arms around him and smiled softly, "Sweetie," she kissed his head tenderly, "The shirt was ruined, that's true, and it was one of my favorite shirts, that's also true, but I'm not upset with you about it, I'm not at all sad out that I don't have the shirt, but you know what I am sad out about?"

"What?" he hiccupped?

"I was sad that you wouldn't talk to me about it…I really like it when you talk to me Sweetie." She assured him, "I can always replace the shirt…but you, I could never replace. I could never replace your voice and I missed it so much."

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Nothing to be sorry for, I know you we're really scared." She soothed him stroking his back, "Can you tell me what the man told you to make you not want to talk with us?"

"He told me…" his voice trailed off as he sniffled, "Is Alex still hurt?"

Olivia exhaled, for an eight year old, he was fabulous at changing the subject, "I talked to her a little on the phone today, she sounds like she's doing better. Did you talk to her at lunch?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Joseph pushed me into the wall in class." He exhaled, "I don't think he likes me."

Olivia wiped away a tear imagining the scene in her mind, "What did you do?"

"You'll be mad." He whispered.

"I promise I won't."

"I pushed him back when he got close to me again…but I tried to help him up, the teacher made us go to a quiet room for lunch, I don't so much like the quiet room, Alex lets me listen to music. My teacher let Alex come to the quiet room, I thought she was coming to take me away but she told me, if I do the crime, I have to be a big boy and do the time." He informed her.

Olivia smiled at Alex's remark and made a note to thank her for not letting him avoid his punishment, "I'm glad you stuck up for yourself and I'm really glad you tried to help him up…sometimes there are consequences for what we do, and I'm not upset that you fought back, but do you think you could have avoided it?"

"No, he was being mean all day, he took my cane and hid it and made me frustrated cause I couldn't play until we found it, then he spit on me in the bathroom, I was bad but he was badder." He protested in perfectly bad grammar that made her chuckle.

She smiled at his logic, "I see, and did you tell your teacher that he was picking on you?"

"Yeah, but it's not my real teacher, my teacher is sick, this teacher was only for today, I didn't like her so much…she sucked." He whispered in her ear.

"I'm sure she was trying hard." Olivia told him, "But you know what?"

"What?"

"Looks like you listened to me and your dad, you told a teacher and tried to avoid it, I'm glad you stood up for your self, we'll keep working on some stuff to help you out, huh?"

"Your not going to spank me for getting in trouble?"

"Sam," She smiled softly,"Remember my promise? No spankings, besides Buddy, I spent a lot of time in the quiet room when I was in school, sometimes you have to fight back, remember what Dad and I tell you, courage doesn't always roar but it isn't always quiet either and Alex is right, you did something and you had to deal with what came down the pipe, but I think you handled it well and I can assure you that your dad and I aren't upset with you at all, okay? But you still have to try and avoid conflict, understand?"

He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and smiled, "Yeah."

She smiled and kissed the crown of his head, "Sam?"

"Mom?"

"I asked you a question Baby, and you changed the subject, please tell me what the man told you."

He exhaled and slid off of her lap feeling for the jacket and pushing it into her lap, "He had a jacket like Daddy wears to work but it felt like this." He told her fingering the jacket and shaking his head softly, "I don't like the man, Mom."

She exhaled and caressed his face, "I don't either Baby, but if you can tell me as much as you can about him, Mommy and Daddy can find him…remember that we're cops and we spend all day catching bad guys while your at school."

"Yeah." He furrowed his brow and picked up the jeans. She watched him as he draped them over her lap so that it almost looked like she was wearing them. "Put this on Mommy." He told her moving the jacket back to her.

She thought the request was odd but decided to do it anyway, she donned the jacket and flicked her hair out of the collar, "Okay," she smiled, "I'm dressed up with no place to go." She tickled him softly, "What else?"

He felt her right arm, "No…no, not in this hole." He told her tugging at her arm to get it out of the sleeve.

"Okay, okay, let me do it." She smiled pulling her arm out, "It's out."

He felt again and pulled the jacket over her shoulder and bent her free arm so that it crossed her chest, "Like this." He told her feeling the jacket and jeans and then pulling the screen over and realizing he couldn't use it because it wouldn't conform to the shape he wanted. "Mom, I need this."

"For what?"

"He was wearing it."

"Honey, it's a screen." She told him, "You can't wear it."

He clenched his jaw and lips and exhaled through his nose, "He wore this." He whispered, "I promise Mom."

There was something about the way he said it that convinced her that she should entertain his train of thought she took the screen and tugged and pulled at the corner until the mesh came free, "Your Daddy, is gonna kill me."

"What!" Sam screeched, "No!"

"No, no, no, Baby, it's a saying, he's not gonna touch me." She assured him before he really panicked, "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to tell you that your Dad is gonna ask why I pulled the screen apart…it's fine." She assured him softly, "Trust me."

He exhaled and swallowed and felt the screen with his hand before draping it around her free arm and bending it again. She was utterly confused. Jeans and jacket she sort of understood, but the screen? She couldn't make the connection.

Sam sat next to her and put her sleeved arm around him making sure to adjust her fingers over his shoulder, "Like this." He muttered and then it dawned on her, he was literally telling her exactly what happened using props.

"He touched you like this Sam?" She asked feeling the vomit rise within her.

"Yeah." He whispered, "Then closer." He told her.

"Like this?" She asked sliding thigh to thigh with him.

"He breathed on my face, I don't think his mommy showed him how to brush his teeth really good like you showed me."

"Oh." She nodded, "Like this?" she leaned her head down as if he we're going tell him a secret.

He sniffled, "Yeah."

Olivia paused watching him struggle to not cry, he reminded her of she and Elliot more and more each day, but it was when she felt his fingers graze the jeans that she realized how he knew the things he was telling her. He'd collected as much information about this man as he could, his leather jacket, his jeans, and even his scent. She exhaled.

"Hole." He whispered.

"What?"

"Here." He tapped at here thigh, "Real big."

"He had a hole in his pants?"

"Yeah."

"What about my arm Sam? Can you tell me about my arm?" she asked.

"He wore this." He whispered touching the screen lightly with his fingertip, "That's what it felt like."

"I see." She told him, "You did a really good job explaining this to me." She kissed his head softly.

"He…" Sam leaned his head on her, "He hurt me Mom."

She rubbed his shoulder softly, "I know he did Baby, but you know the pictures you let me take with the camera and ruler?"

"Yeah?"

"They're really gonna help us catch him." She assured him.

He exhaled deeply.

"Sam," she pushed further hoping he was strong enough to continue, "You told me what he did, but can you tell me what he said?" She asked softly, "That would really help too, and I have a feeling he said some things that really upset you, if you didn't want to talk to me or Elliot or Alex."

He reached over and cast the jeans to the floor and shoved the jacket off of her so he could crawl into her lap and rest against her, "Why did Alex and Paul fight outside last night? Are they mad at each other?"

Subject change. She swallowed not exactly sure how to answer, "Paul hurt Casey's heart on accident, and she was a little sad, sometimes when adults are hurting they yell, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I talked to Casey today before I came home, and she said that her heart is better and that she and Paul are smiling."

He nodded, "Smiles are better than fighting."

"Yes, they are…Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me what he said Baby."

Sam grabbed her hand and placed it at his chest, "It hurts my heart Mommy."

"I know it does, Sweet Boy, but I promise you, you'll feel better and you're Daddy and I will help so that it doesn't hurt." She assured him and kissed the crown of his head.

"He said…you lied to me." He whispered.

"About what?"

"He said he was the boogieman and that he did exist even though you told me he didn't."

"Okay, what else did he tell you?" She asked him feeling the anger flush her face.

He bowed his head and rested it against her chest, "That you and Dad didn't love me or want me."

Without warning the sob fell from her lips as she tightened her embrace, "Oh, Baby, I wish you would have told me sooner so I could have made it better…I love you so much Honey, and I'll tell you that every day, every hour or every minute until you start to believe it, right here." She told him tapping his heart, "I love you Samuel Stabler, you're my boy and I love you."

"I'm not a replacement for your boy?"

She furrowed her brow in confusion, suspicion and hurt, "What?"

"The boogieman said that you lost your boy and that's why you got me."

She pressed her lips into his head and cried holding him tightly, "Not true Sam. I lost my boy, yes, and my heart hurts everyday for him, but my heart also smiles that I have you." She assured him kissing him on his head, "You're my boy too." She whispered. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"How's you're Braille coming?"

"I can do it good." He whispered, "Sometimes I get confused and I have to go over it again, but it's a…ache?" he asked.

"Cake." She smiled, "Come here, I'd like to show your something." She placed his hand on her elbow and led him to the door where the words she painted in Braille, buy building up the paint, trailed the border of the wall. "Can I have your hands?" she whispered kneeling behind him and resting her fingers over his, "These are the things I think of you Baby," she whispered into his ear as his fingers started to move, "Victorious Warrior," she whispered into his ear as his fingers passed to the next, "Cause of my smile," she continued to rest her fingertips over his as he moved to the next phrase. She saw the intense look on his face as if something were breaking inside of him with each phrase of love and affirmation as if no one had ever spoken such things into his life, "Charming," she smiled against him. She'd memorized the order of the first few words, but she'd taken the time to literally paint hundreds of words, a handful of sayings, and a few verses that he like to spout off from time to time.

"What's this word mean?" he asked her going back over it again.

She looked at the sequence and remembered it to be, "Confidant." She whispered, "Sam, these are words that you are or can be." She told him resting her hand on his chest and back as she spoke to him, "They're words that I pray for you every night…they're all around your room at this level Sam, so when you think that me or your Daddy don't love you touch the walls okay Baby?"

He nodded slowly, "Did dad write one?"

"Yes, he suggested a few of them, would you like me to point one out to you?"

He smiled, "Yes."

She led him to the opposite wall and looked at the placement trying to remember the placement. She found it and covered his fingers as before, "Here's one." She smiled, "Ready?" she asked.

"Yeah." He began to move his fingers as she recited it to him.

"My sunshine after the rain." She whispered and directed his hands to one more, "My Boy, my blessing from God."

Sam smiled softly and bowed his head, "Mommy?"

"Yeah?" She answered hugging him tightly from behind.

"What's gonna happen to Tripod?"

"What do you mean sweetie?" she questioned turning him to face her as she sat on her bottom and pulled him into her lap.

"He said Tripod hurt him so he was going to kill him." He started to sob, "Mommy, don't let him kill my puppy, please? He's my only friend, please don't let him hurt Tripod." He cried hard against her.

She held him as he sobbed, as his body shook and hiccupped, "Let it all out, Honey, cry Baby." She whispered stroking his back and rocking softly. "I promise you that Daddy and I will do everything we can to protect you and Tripod." She assured him, " I love you both so much." She whispered and the funny thing about that remark was, she really did love Tripod. In her eye, he was Sam's personal body guard, no matter how small or odd he looked, she loved that little guy too."

After several minutes Olivia found herself leaning up against the wall, butt numb, as Sam rested against her, every couple of minutes he moved or turned his head an indication he was still awake, even though her watch told her it was four O'clock in the morning and they should both be dead to the world.

She exhaled and rubbed his back furrowing her brow when she realized his body was slowly tensing in her arms. "What is it Baby?"

He let out a ragged breath, "When little boys know bad things…they shouldn't talk because daddy's poke their tongues." He told her.

"Poke?"

"Bleed." He whispered, "Daddy's stick the needle to teach their boy's not to talk when they know bad things."

"Your Dad, Mr. Wilson, poked your tongue with a needle?"

"To teach me not to talk." He whispered.

"Sam, is that why you wouldn't talk to anyone? Were you scared we would hurt you?"

He nodded, "Yeah, because I shouldn't talk if I know bad things."

She furrowed her brow, he was trying to tell her that he knew something, that there was more to this whole story than she knew, "Sam…do you know something bad?"

"Yes."

"I won't hurt you if you tell me, I promise."

"No needles?" he whispered.

"None." She assured him kissing the top of his head, "Whatever you tell me, I'll still love you, I won't hurt you and we'll get through it together. You, me and Elliot." She assured him.

Sam shifted in her embrace so that they were chest to chest as he rest against her. She could tell he was thinking long and hard before saying anything, and after several minutes of silence he slowly pulled away from her and wrapped his tiny palms around her neck as he leaned in and whispered into her ear, "He told me he has you're boy."

In an instant she couldn't breath, her chest was tight, her mouth was dry and she wished to hell the room would stop spinning. "What?" she managed to choke out.

"He said he has your boy and that it's okay to have him because he wanted to hurt you." He cried, "Mommy, why does he not like us? We're Stabler…we're good aren't we?"

She couldn't think, she saw the precious boy in front of her asking questions that needed to be answered, but she couldn't process the information, "Are you…sure?" she whispered.

"Mommy…he's mean, and he wants to hurt Tripod and he said he hurt you and he has your boy." He instantly put his hands to her face feeling immediately, "Mommy?"

Her brain was screaming at her to sooth him, to calm him and convince him that everything was going to be okay. "Mommy!" he barked again the fear dripping from his voice pulling her back into reality.

"Hey, big guy." She forced a calm, "Come here." She whispered hugging him tightly, "I'm so glad that you talked to me about all of this Baby." She spoke in a raspy voice that she new was going to break into a sob at any moment, "I'm okay, but you know what?"

"What?" he whispered.

"You need to climb back in bed and get some sleep before school tomorrow." She told him wiping at a stray tear and hoping that he didn't push her. "I'll re set the alarm for you and I'll give you an extra kiss, how's that?" her voice was reduced to a harsh whisper.

"Okay." He agreed standing to his feet and quickly climbing into bed, "Scoot Tripod." He instructed and climbed under the covers.

Olivia sat softly on the edge of the bed wanting nothing more than to bolt down the hallway and crawl into Elliot's embrace and let him take all of the pain that just washed over her away. She swallowed and wiped another tear away, how was she going to tell Elliot? She smiled softly and tucked him in tight, "Snug as a bug in a rug." She managed to croak and give him a kiss on one cheek then the other. "Good night, Sweet Boy." She whispered and stood only to feel him grab her wrist and reach out for her.

She leaned down and hugged him tightly, felt his lips hard against her cheek, the soft hum of his voice and smack of his lips, "Night, Mom."

She let her tears fall and kissed his hand, "Night, Son." She whispered and padded out of his room, taking her weapon with her and closing the door softly behind her as if nothing majored had happened, at least, not until the door was closed and she found herself starring down the hallway.

She opened her mouth and tried to call for her husband, her feet permanently fixed in their location, but no sound was made. She stood silent as warm tears stroked her face, the aged picture of Isaac that hung on the wall starring back at her, his eyes bright, his lips curled slightly, he was every bit his father, every bit her, and she ached even more for him, her voice was low and hoarse, "El?" she grasped her weapon in her body unable to tell her to put it down, "El…I need you." She whispered, "Help." She started to sob, "Elliot," she managed to walk with heavy and Jell-O like legs to the foyer and placed the weapon within the drawer.

"Elliot." She opened her mouth again but couldn't find the air to make her voice carry. The hallway seemed to get longer as she tried to negotiate it only to stop right across from Isaac's nursery door. She stared at it and after several seconds fond her voice, "ELLIOT!" she yelled resting her forehead against the closed door, "Elliot!" she sobbed out his name and pounded her fist above her head.

"Olivia!" He called to her from the door.

"Give him back." She cried.

"Liv?" He stepped closer.

She slammed her fist into the door and yelled in hurt, "Give me back my son!"

Confused he closed the gap between them and lowered her hands to her side holding her tightly as she yelled her demand again into the atmosphere, a voice so labored it became hoarse before the sentence was complete, her skin was hot, her veins pulsating in hurt and destruction, her eyes shutting out the pain of not having Isaac in her arms, in her home, in her life. "Shhh, Liv, what's wrong? Nightmare?"

She sobbed turning in his embrace and burying her face into his neck as he took a few steps backwards into their room and closed the door so Sam didn't hear the commotion; even though Elliot figured he probably heard most of it already, "Give him back." She whispered out of energy, "Give me back my son."

"Olivia, talk to me, what's going on?" he asked sitting on the bed and pulling her down next to him surprised that she literally clung to him as a drowning sailor would to a life line. "What is it?" he asked again stroking her hair.

"El?" She sobbed, "We don't have our son." She shouted pulling at his close as if he were a perp on the receiving end of her bad cop routine, "He's not here!" she yelled again, then cried and rested her head against his forehead, "he's not here." She whispered and sniffled.

"I know, Liv." He found himself breaking not only for the desire of having his son back, but because in this moment he finally thought that his wife had been obliterated by all the pain she had ever felt in her life, he finally believed he was seeing the destruction of her as he held her.

"No El." She shook her head softly, "Samuel just told me everything that happened at the hospital, everything about the man that hurt him." She drew in a shaky breath and looked at him, "Elliot," she started to cry again, "He has our son…he has Isaac."

"What?" he narrowed his eyes, "What? Who told you that? Who has Isaac?"

"Sam…the boogieman, or whoever it is that has been bothering Sam, who ever it is that tripped the alarm the other day, he has Isaac." She cried into his chest, "He has our son."

"Liv," Elliot steadied his voice hoping he didn't hear her correctly, "What are you saying?"

She pulled back and struggled for her voice, "Elliot…whoever is messing with Sam, has Isaac."


	12. Chapter 12 Four Victims

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 12: Four Victims

Elliot held his sobbing wife in his arms, felt her hands dig into him, "He has our son," she whispered through her tears, "He has been holding my son and feeding him and changing his diaper, and watching him learn to walk." She sobbed, "I want my son back."

"I know, Baby, I know." He whispered over her, "And, I know you don't want to hear this, but this is a good thing, now we absolutely know he's alive and he might even be in New York."

"He should be here, in his crib getting into trouble with Sam." She sniffled, "He should be calling me mommy and spilling cheerios all over the kitchen floor," She exhaled into his chest, "He's cleaning up my son's cheerios, isn't he?"

Elliot closed his eyes and held back his tears, "Yeah, Baby, he is."

She sobbed so loudly against him that he was starting to wonder if such actions were good for the babies, "I want my son," she cried into his shoulder gripping his waist, "I want to hold him and laugh with him and kiss his owies and tell him I love him and I missed him so much."

"So do I." He assured her, kissing her softly on the crown of her head and exhaling, "We'll talk to Cragen this morning, we're going to have to call Casey too because we'll need a warrant for the video tapes from the hospital and we ne-"

"I'm going to kill him." She whispered as evenly and decidedly as possible.

"Oli-"

"Who ever it is," she looked at Elliot and spoke void of emotion, "when we find him, I'm going to murder him."

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"Captain?" Elliot knocked on the door to the office.

"Stabler!" Cragen smiled, "Please come in take a seat…wow, you really do look like crap."

"Thanks." Elliot smirked as Olivia sat in the chair next to him.

"Olivia, how are you?" Cragen asked finally noticing the exhausted expressions on their faces.

"I'm fine." She whispered, wanting to reach out for Elliot's hand.

"Sir, Olivia and I have a problem."

"Okay?" Cragen furrowed his brow, "Lay it on me."

"Sam came to us several days ago complaining of the boogieman-"

Cragen laughed, "He's been keeping ya up huh? I know…you want Fin and I to go over there and play make believe…bust open the door and arrest the boogieman? I think we can manage that."

"Not exactly, Sir." Olivia cleared her throat and stared down into her lap, thankful when Elliot broke the promise of keeping business and personal separate and reached out to touch her hand.

"Cap," Elliot exhaled, "Apparently the boogieman exists."

"Excuse me?" Cragen arched a brow and reached for a licorice handing one to Olivia, "Take it, you look sick…it's a cure all."

"I feel like I'm gonna puke." She whispered taking the licorice and simply holding it in her hand afraid of what it could do to her stomach.

"Cap," Elliot squeezed her hand, "We had an alarm system installed, locks have been changed and we've even asked to be on the waiting list for a retired dog from K-9 but the list is longer than Munch's conspiracy list." He shook his head and took a breath, "The alarm was tripped and we found foot steps outside of Sam's window. That morning I had to go to the emergency room, Sam was with us and apparently, this boogieman guy, got a hold of him and-"

Cragen sat up straight in his chair, "Is Samuel okay?"

"He's shaken up." Elliot confessed, "Wouldn't talk to a soul since the hospital, but Olivia got him to talk last night and…he dropped a bombshell."

Cragen slowed his chewing on the candy, "What?"

Olivia made eye contact with the Captain for the first time, "He has my son…he has Isaac."

Cragen stood and immediately closed the blinds in his office before taking his seat again and pulling out a legal pad, "Are you absolutely confidant in Sam's statement?"

"Yes." She cleared her throat looking for a stronger one but couldn't find it, "He was very exact and thorough, he used props, told me exactly how the man touched him," Her eyes started to water and her voice break, "he…um…told me what he said to him."

"Touched?" Cragen searched their faces, "Was he-"

"No." She shook her head, "Thank God. He grabbed him hard on the shoulder and left a bruise imprint of his hand, I took a picture with a ruler to indicate scale."

"Any other evidence?"

"I have the shoe." She whispered, "I think that Sam's dog got a piece of him."

Cragen shook his head writing frantically on the note pad, "What else? Can you think of anything else?"

"I took a picture of the foot print with a dollar next to it for scale," she exhaled and rested her face in her hands, "yesterday morning, I noticed that Sam's dog was having a little bit of trouble chewing his food, when I looked at his teeth, it looked like his K9 was broke in half, but as much as I searched the flower bed by Sam's window, I can't find it and I don't know if he was like that before we got him," she stood to her feet in frustration and ran her fingers through her hair, "or if I'm grasping for straws."

"We could take him to a forensic vet, they might be able to tell us if it's a fresh break on the tooth." Cragen suggested.

"Sam told me that this guy told him he took Isaac to hurt me and that he's gonna kill Sam's dog." She groaned holding her stomach.

"You okay?" Cragen asked as Elliot stood and caressed her face.

"Liv?" Elliot spoke softly, "Nerves or the babies?"

"Both, I think." She whispered resting her forehead against his and trying to get a hold of her breathing, unconcerned with Cragen's presence.

"Babies?" Cragen furrowed his brow, "Did I hear you correctly?" He couldn't help the smile even in the midst of chaos.

Olivia smiled dimly and opened her eyes to Elliot, "Blabber Jaws."

"Oops." He smiled and kissed her lips tenderly before turning to look at the captain, "Yep."

"Babies…plural, like two of them?" Cragen smiled wanting to hug Olivia in congratulation's but not knowing exactly where he stood with her, they were on talking terms but he didn't know if that gave him permission to hug her like the daughter he still considered her to be.

Olivia blushed and rubbed her abdomen, "Yeah…which apparently means double the sickness."

"Want a seven up?" Elliot asked.

"Please." She whispered and smiled softly as he excused himself.

"Captain?"

"Yes?"

"There's a video camera at the hospital where the man approached Sam, I think it might have caught the confrontation, I've been researching the law that requires the camera to be in place and the information has to stay on the digital hard drives for thirty days." She informed him.

"I'll call Casey for the warrant." He assured her, "Olivia?"

"Sir?" she responded.

"I…I…um," he rubbed his bald head and looked away, "nothing, congratulations on your little ones."

She eyed him closely, and realized that wasn't really what he wanted to tell her, "Don?"

He looked up at her, as he stood against his desk, surprised that she had addressed him by his name, "Yes?"

"You wanted to tell me something…what is it?" She asked with a soft smile. He exhaled and struggled to meet her gaze until she walked to him and embraced him warmly, "I still love you, like a father, you know that right?" she whispered to him, "We've got a lot of history between us, and we'll get back to normal sooner or later." She released him and looked at him with a small smile, "We appreciate you helping us."

"I owe you." He whispered with a small nod of his head, "And actually I do have a question detective." He smiled softly.

"What?"

"How far along are you?"

She tilted her head to the side, "Three months…why?" She asked and then suddenly the realization set in, "My I'm gonna have permanent butt suction to my desk chair aren't I?"

Cragen smiled, "As soon as Fin's partner gets here."

"Fabulous." She rolled her eyes and grabbed her stomach just as Elliot walked in with a 7-up.

"Here."

"Savior." She smiled and took a small sip, "Nope," She shook her head heading past Elliot, "Too late." She muttered bolting out of the office.

"You've both got a lot on your plate." Cragen exhaled folding his arms as Elliot watched from the door to make sure Olivia made it into the ladies room.

"Yeah," He agreed turning around and sitting in the chair, "but, Captain, this is good isn't it? I mean, this means Isaac is still alive and could be in New York right?"

Cragen exhaled, "It's a possibility…but Elliot, you know how these things play out." He shook his head, "I didn't want to say it in front of Olivia, but…you and I both know that, it's highly improbable that Isaac is alive and in New York, do you think the kidnappers would really stay in the city?"

Elliot exhaled, "I don't know Cap, I just…I just want my son."

"I want that little boy back as much as you do," Cragen assured him, "and we'll do everything legally possible to get him back. I'll pull what ever strings I can, call in favors, whatever I need to do, but Elliot…we're gonna rock the boat."

Elliot stood to his feet and eyed the Captain, "We can swim."

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Elliot peeked into the ladies room, "Liv? Is it safe?"

"All clear." She moaned from somewhere deeper in the restroom.

He walked in looking at the stalls and seeing her sitting on her bum, back against the wall, sicker than a dog. "Hey, good looking."

"Apparently we need to take you to the eye doctor." She muttered.

He kneeled down next to her and raised up the 7UP that was still full, "Want some?"

"Please." She whispered and took the green can, taking another small sip, "I'd kill for a pretzel right now." She smiled softly, and then grinned when Elliot reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a small plastic baggie.

"I try to keep an emergency stash."

"Hero." She smiled, "Give me, please."

He opened the baggie and let her help herself, sitting next to her in the same manner as she nibbled on the pretzel, not wanting to consume it to fast. They stared at the stall wall in silence. He draped his arm around her and smiled pointing to the corner of the stall, "Hey, for a good time, we can call Sergeant Holmes…even gave us his number."

Olivia smiled, "Holmes is a girl, El."

He winced, "Nasty."

He kissed the top of her head and stroked her arm gently, "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?"

"Just hold me?"

"In the bathroom?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

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"Hey, thanks for meeting me." Casey said half smiling and half looking at Olivia with concern as she slid into the booth, "You look sick."

"The Babies are killing me this morning." Olivia muttered taking a sip of the seven up she asked for as soon as she hit the restaurant.

Casey furrowed her brow, "What did you just say?"

"I said the baby is killing me."

"No you didn't." Casey shook her head slowly.

"Then why did you ask what I said, if you already knew what I said." Olivia blushed.

"I asked what you said, even though I _knew_ what you said, because I thought I may have heard what you said incorrectly. But, since your stalling by asking me, why I asked you what you said, even though I _knew_ what you said, I'll assume I heard what you said correctly." She grinned.

Olivia stared at her, "What the hell did you just say?" she asked before they both laughed.

"Really? Twins?" Casey grinned, "Are you yanking my chain?"

"No." Olivia laughed, "Two little guys in here." She said rubbing her belly.

"Boys?"

"Or girls." Olivia grinned, "Wouldn't mind having twin boys."

"Really?"

"Hey," Olivia shrugged her shoulders, "I'd have my own personal sports team."

Casey smiled, "I am so happy for you…Addison will have friends."

"Yeah." Olivia smiled sadly taking a sip of her drink, "Hey, how are you and Paul?"

Casey exhaled, "We're wading through it, he's hard on himself, he wants so badly to please everyone that he's killing himself…but we made amends."

"Yeah, that's what my sofa bed told me." Olivia smiled deviously.

Casey blushed furiously, "Oh no." She groaned slouching in the booth, "Liv, I apologize abou-"

"Shut up." Olivia smiled, "I'm not even remotely angry, I'm glad you guys are working it out…I just couldn't resist one jab."

"Well, I'm really glad you guys called me."

"Good," Olivia smiled guiltily, "Does that mean I'm off the hook for blindsiding you and Alex?"

Casey suddenly turned serious.

"Okay, maybe I'm not?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "Look, I know you're angry and you have every right to be but cou-"

"I'm not angry, not at all." Casey informed her with misted eyes, "I'm pretty ashamed though."

"Ashamed?" Olivia tilted her head in confusion, "For what?"

Casey tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned forward, "Please don't judge me for this."

"Okay." Olivia nodded.

"I didn't look for Paul."

"What?"

"I didn't look for him…I could have called the credit card people and figured out where he was staying, I could have went to all the spots I knew he might be…but I didn't."

"Why?"

Casey sniffled and rolled the bottom of her water glass in a circle, "When we got back together, I told him that if he ever walked out on me, I'd leave him for good."

Olivia nodded her head listening and encouraging her to keep talking.

"When he walked out on me this time, I didn't…I didn't think I was gonna make it, and I hated him for reducing me to that." She whispered and wiped a lone tear away, "I decided that it was probably for the better that he were gone, I mean, I sort of thought, that with everything that has happened between he and I that, maybe, we just weren't meant to be-"

"Casey, you two are built for each other, things are rough right now, but you'll make it." Olivia encouraged her, "Look at El, and I, we've had everything but the kitchen sink thrown at us, we even sort of split for couple of months, but in spite of everything, we're happy and we're making it."

"I know." Casey smiled, "It was when I was talking to Alex, that I realized how much he's changed over the years, I realized how much I wanted him, and I made up my mind that if he came home, I'd accept him…I'd beat the hell out him, but I'd accept him." She smiled faintly, "I'm not upset that you had Alex and I talk, I think it did us both good, but she is taking it…rough, she's upset and she's scared, but Robert is strong and good to her."

"She's lucky." Olivia took another sip of her drink as Casey relayed her order to the waitress.

"And you ma'am?" The waitress asked Olivia.

"You wouldn't happen to have any pretzels or saltine crackers would you?"

"Sure, crackers and soup perhaps?"

"Please." Olivia smiled and handed her the menu, before turning to Casey, "So."

"So." Casey smiled softly.

"You gonna tell me what you really asked me here for?"

"I suppose I'm on your BS radar, huh?" Casey exhaled and spoke compassionately, "Olivia, why didn't you tell me about Sam and this boogieman fiasco?"

Olivia looked away and worried her bottom lip, "I just want this all to go away." She whispered.

"I know you do." She whispered, "How is Sam doing?"

"He's talking more, he talked to me this morning about this book he's reading in Braille, he is so pumped about Braille that it takes the edge off, you know? I thought it would be hard for him to go to the center without any of us there, but he actually looks forward to it and the thinks is great that we get tied over at work because Alex and Robert will pick him up." Olivia informed her fiddling with her straw in her soda glass.

Casey smiled softly, "I mean how is he with this boogieman thing and Isaac and the twins…that's a lot for the little guy."

Olivia flopped back in the booth, "Well lets see, he's scared to death to let his dog out of his grasp because he thinks the boogieman is gonna kill him, I know he's not sleeping through the night because today he feel asleep at the breakfast table and this morning his teacher called me and told me he feel asleep during class."

Olivia paused and smiled softly as the waitress lowered soup and crackers in front of her and a Philly cheese steak sandwich for Casey, she started to open a packet of crackers as she continued speaking, "I think that this boogieman, or who ever the hell it is, has shaken the confidence that he had in me and as far as Isaac, I don't know if he really puts it together that we're looking for him, I don't know if he knows that we want him back, I think if we told him, he might think we don't want him…apparently the boogieman told him he was a _replacement_ for Isaac." She exhaled crumbling the cracker into her soup and picking up a spoon, "and as far as the twins," she continued taking a spoonful of the soup and finding her stomach wasn't gonna accept it, she frowned and pushed it away, "we haven't told him we're having twins."

"Mind if I ask why?"

"Well, we told him we we're having a baby and he literally packed a bag and stormed out of the house…almost got hit by a car." Olivia said holding back tears, remembering her and Elliot sprinting down the road to grab him. "I can't believe you're eating that in front of me." Olivia smiled softly.

"Hey, I'm not the one who's knocked up." Casey grinned, "Is the smell making you nauseous?"

"No…I'm just screwing with you…trying to make you feel bad because you can eat whatever you want and I'm reduced to pretzels and crackers, although, if I'm a good girl I can occasionally handle a Ritz." She smiled and rolled her shiny eyes, "I'm really frustrated Casey."

"You have every right to be, and I'm sorry to be the one to make you more frustrated, but-"

"More, huh?" Olivia shook her head and exhaled "I don't know if I can take much more."

"I drew up the papers for the warrant…we're running into a few problems."

"Like what?" Olivia tilted her head.

"Nothing major, but it's gonna take a few days to get it…minimum." She told her apologetically.

"So it's hurry up and wait, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"Well, we can just add that to this weeks list of stressors." Olivia smiled weakly, "My life use to be simple, I woke up, went to work, caught a bad guy, went home, and pushed repeat…now…now-"

"Now your living life Olivia…its hard, but your living." Casey informed her with a soft smile, "I remember you before you started dating Elliot, I remember you before you married him and I remember you before you had Isaac and before you adopted Sam and trust me when I tell you that your getting more and more beautiful. I know things are so out of whack for you right now, but you're different, you're feeling things…you use to never let your self feel anything except what a victim was feeling…now your _living_, you're _experiencing_, and you have someone to go through it with, someone who loves the hell out of you, if you walk away with nothing else, remember that." Casey told her taking another drink of her water.

"Wow, you're deep." Olivia smiled.

Casey rolled her eyes and took a bite of her sandwich, "Keep and eye out on the mail for my bill."

Olivia forced a small laugh.

"What else?" Casey muttered covering her mouth with her hand as she chewed.

"Hmm?"

"What else? There's something else bothering you, something interesting, what is it?"

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Know when I'm holding out?" Olivia furrowed her brow and took a sip of soda.

"I don't know," Casey shrugged, "You do the same thing to me, I guess we're even…now spill, what's bothering you?"

"It's embarrassing."

Casey grinned, "This is gonna be good."

"Shut up."

"Come on, I tell you all sorts of crazy crap."

"I don't necessarily ask you to though." Olivia retorted with a smile, "Besides, I don't want to embarrass _you_."

"_Me_?" Casey furrowed, "Now I'm really interested, you know I don't blush easy."

"I bet you I could make you."

"I bet you the cost of the tab, that you can't." Casey offered with arched brows.

"Deal," Olivia leaned forward and smiled sneakily, "Do you and Paul ever talk dirty to each other when you make love?"

Casey coughed into her water glass and wiped the trickle of water from her chin as she turned a blushing red.

"Damn," Olivia smiled in victory, "A free lunch and I can't even stomach it."

Casey blinked rapidly and smiled sheepishly, "That's kind of an odd question."

"Hey, I warned you…but I'm not really expecting an answer so don't worry."

"No," Casey smiled, "It's alright, let's see…yeah," she shrugged her shoulders, "I guess you could say so."

"Really?" Olivia furrowed her brow in curiosity, "He likes that?"

Casey took a bite of her sandwich, "He is male."

Olivia smirked, "But…do you feel, _uncomfortable_ with it?" she asked in curiosity.

Casey mulled the question over; "No…not really, it actually kind of adds to it, makes it hot."

"Oh." Olivia nodded breaking the corner off of a cracker as it sat on her plate.

"Why the curiosity?"

"Hmm?" Olivia looked up sharply not prepared for the question, "No reason."

"Liar." Casey rolled her eyes, "Look, I just told you something pretty intimate about Paul and I…I'd like to know, why?"

Olivia groaned stirring the soda with her straw, "Why do I always get my self into these messes?"

"Beats me." Casey shrugged, "But you better start talkin'"

Olivia rolled her eyes and leaned in closer, "Okay, this is between you and me, right?"

Casey stared at her, "Duh." Fact of the matter was she was entertaining this conversation because it meant that she had moved up another rung on the trust ladder, and the trust ladder with Olivia Stabler was a long climb.

Olivia shook her head, "Brilliant…okay Elliot and I have this sort of…game, I guess you could call it, anyway, long story short we put things we'd like on a piece of paper and draw from each others boxes-"

"Oh, nice." Casey raised her brow, "Wow, why didn't I think of that?"

"Casey, this is serious!"

"Okay," she shrugged, "But I was being serious too…okay, what's the rest?"

"Well, I pulled something from Elliot's a couple days early and it said, ' a little bit sweet, a little bit dirty'…what am I suppose to do with that?" she groaned.

Casey grinned, "Be sweet and be dirty."

"Gee," Olivia mocked her, "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Alright, what's the deal…you've never talked dirty to him?"

Olivia thought about it, "No, actually I haven't."

"Bull."

"Okay, never mind, lets just eat." Olivia blushed and fidgeted in her seat.

"Wow, you're serious?" Casey asked leaning in, "I'm sorry, I thought you we're playing. I mean, Olivia, you work in SVU, you handle sex everyday."

Olivia exhaled in frustration, "Which is exactly why I do everything to keep _Olivia Benson_ out of our bed, I don't like the connection, and for the record, I wasn't playing and now I feel like a freak." Olivia exhaled.

"Don't." Casey told her softly, "But can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you think dirty when you have sex with him?"

"See, that's just the problem," She shrugged, "I don't even like to _say_ I have _sex_ with him, it's like its too close to the job and it sounds so filthy to me."

"Ah, I see." Casey nodded her head, "But do you _think_ it?"

Olivia pondered the question, "I'm not sure."

"Huh? How can you not be sure, it's either you do or your don't."

Olivia blushed, " Well, I mean, I say stuff to him, but it wouldn't be considered dirty, we fool around during the day, like foreplay, but honestly when I'm with him, I still think, 'wow I can't believe I'm making love to Elliot.'"

Casey's jaw went slack, "That's really sweet."

"Well" Olivia exhaled, "I suppose I got the sweet part down then."

"Well, why are you apprehensive about talking to him that way? Does he talk to you that way?"

"No!" Olivia shook her head almost mortified at the question, "No, he wouldn't disrespect me like that."

"Ah…so you think its only about respect?"

"Isn't it?"

"No.

"No?"

"No…it's also about having fun with your husband."

"Fun?"

"Yeah, fun. Olivia, making love is fun too, it's intimate and intense yes, but its fun too…why are you really so worried about this?" Casey asked softly.

Olivia exhaled and took a bite of her cracker preparing herself for the next sentences, she cleaned her pallet with a sip of soda, "Casey, sex isn't fun to everyone," She whispered averting her eyes, "sometimes…sometimes its horrible." She whispered hoarsely, "Sometimes, it's heinous."

Casey extended her hand and covered Olivia's, "And sometimes, it's innocent, and sometimes it's pure and yeah, sometimes it's scary in a nerve racking way, but when it's with the person you love it should never be heinous."

Olivia shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. She exhaled and stared at her soup.

Casey smiled and leaned back in her booth, "If he's bad in the sac you could tell him what you like and don't like. Paul and I don't hesitate and believe me when I tell you, it makes it all worth while."

Olivia smiled and shook her head, "Elliot is far from bad, very far from bad…I just…I just," she exhaled, "Crap." She muttered.

"Talk to me Olivia." Casey mumbled biting into her sandwich, "What's got you turned inside out?"

"Elliot has a book." Olivia whispered, "I shouldn't be telling you things like this about us, I feel like I'm completely betraying his trust."

"Um, Olivia," Casey smirked, "Hate to break it to you, but Paul gets a lot of very interesting suggestions from Robert and Elliot."

Olivia looked mortified, "No. Elliot tells Paul stuff about us?"

"No way!" Casey furrowed her brow, "I asked Paul that too, he said Elliot just tells him new ideas, but never gets too specific, just know that we're friends Olivia, and I won't repeat this to anyone else, not even Paul."

"Has Paul ever hurt you?" Olivia asked, "I mean, while you guys are making love?"

Casey narrowed her eyes in thought and took a bite of her sandwich to figure out where Olivia was going with the conversation, "On accident, one time we got carried away and he dropped me in the hallway…nothing intentional though."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Olivia whispered and then placed a napkin over the soup that, just the sight of, was making her want to puke.

"Of him dropping you?" Casey furrowed her brow and took a drink of water, "Tell him not to pick you up then."

Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled, "No, not of dropping me," She grew down cast as her voice tightened, "Of hurting me, I mean, what if he gets carried away with this whole 'dirty' thing and I can't stop him or he really likes it and…what if he hurts me?"

Realization dawned on Casey as she tilted her head to one side and finally understood, "You mean…like Oliver did?"

Olivia slouched down in the booth, "It's stupid I know, but when I read the paper, that was the first thing that came to mind."

"Olivia," Casey smiled softly, "Elliot would kill himself before he hurt you in that way. Has he ever been rough with you? Have you ever _not_ been able to make him stop?"

"No," Olivia shook her head, "No, he's very gentle with me, and like I said, he's even got this ridiculous book that I swear is falling apart he's read it so much."

"What book?" Casey asked in curiosity.

Olivia exhaled, "Again, another mess." She shook her head, "He's got this book on sexual intimacy for rape survivors, I stumbled across it about a month ago, I knew he had it, but I didn't actually know he still reads it, pages are dog eared, sections are underlined and falling out, he reads that thing all the time."

"Sounds like he's really trying to be a good lover to you." Casey assured her.

"He is." Olivia blushed turning away momentarily, "There's a section that talks about permissible and unacceptable touch, I've never really told him that there are literally places on my body that I don't like to be touched, but when I was reading what he wrote-"

"Wow," Casey raised her brow, "You read his stuff."

"It was open."

"Liar."

"It fell from the bookshelf and landed open." Olivia offered knowing Casey wasn't buying it.

"Whatever…finish."

"He'd written stuff down, stuff I hadn't told him, but it's like…it's like he could sense it in my body no matter how much I tried to be normal and submit completely…he knew."

"Does that surprise you? I mean, you two have been in tune with each other from day one." Casey informed her.

"I don't know…I just…like the other day, he wanted to use a ribbed condom for the sole purpose of me having more enjoyment-"

"Do those work?" Casey interjected

Olivia couldn't control the blush.

"I'll have to remember those too." Casey smiled, "Keep going, I may have a whole new repertoire."

"Shut up…and yes, they work, but I felt like I was…gypping him out of something."

Casey chuckled, "Is that what this is all about? Is that really what it is Olivia?" Casey smiled.

"What?" Olivia shrugged her shoulders in protest, "This is one area that no matter what he and I are going through, we try to connect no matter what, and after finding out about Isaac, I know that he's gonna want to be with me, because I want to be with him…but…I mean, I've always told him I'd do anything at least once, and I'm not so sure I can do this."

"Are you scared that by telling Elliot you don't want to do this one thing that you'll be depriving him of some sort of fulfillment?"

"Yeah," Olivia confessed, "That's a big part of it, but the situation with Oliver is just as big...I've been having dreams that…are bothering me."

"What about?"

Olivia exhaled and looked out the window as a young girl was being reprimanded by her mother for what she thought might have been wondering away, "Having sex with Oliver…and enjoying it." She whispered.

"Have you told Elliot?"

"I've told him about some dreams of Ganzner and Richard White."

"Richard white? Is this because he was back in Jail last year? Did it shake you up?"

Olivia furrowed her brow and tilted her head at Casey, "White was in Jail last year? For what?"

"He was transferred up from prison on a medical thing, but they sent him back…no one told you?"

"No." Olivia narrowed her eyes, "I never knew…they probably didn't want to worry me."

"Maybe," Casey shrugged, "but lets get back to square one, here, why are you scared to do this with Elliot?"

"I don't know…I suppose, I'm kind of curious…I feel like I'm being selfish, I don't know that I like receiving and not giving."

"Olivia, sometimes, guys love seeing their wives enjoy them, sometimes it's better for them than the actual climax, sometimes it adds to the climax, and sometimes…well, sometimes it's good to be on the receiving end and sometimes it's good to just be a giver." Casey assured her, "I'm not gonna tell you if I think you should do this or you shouldn't." Casey shrugged.

"Case! I just humiliated myself!" Olivia hissed, "The least you can do is tell me what you would do." She pleaded.

Casey shrugged her shoulders, "If it were Paul, I'd screw him." She smiled.

"Great." Olivia groaned, "I just humiliated Elliot and I for nothing."

"No, you didn't." Casey smiled, "Look, all I'm saying is, any man, who, studies a book so that he can be intimate with his wife and not make her relive something traumatic, any man who never talks dirty to his wife because he thinks she may feel disrespected, any may who looks at you the way Elliot does…is a man that just wants the best for you and wants you to love making love, even the crazy, fast and furious love making. He wont hurt you Olivia, and I think whatever you decide, he'll be just fine with."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

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Captain Cragen found himself being woken up by a rapid knocking on his front door. He turned over and brought the alarm clock into focus, it was Saturday morning, three days after Elliot and Olivia had told him the story of Sam and the boogieman. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as the knocking grew louder.

Making his way to the front door, he decided whomever was on the other side deserved to see him in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms, it was entirely too early for guests and for crying out loud it was Saturday morning, wasn't there a commandment about disturbing people on a Saturday?"

He groaned when the knocking started again, "Captain, wake up!"

Cragen furrowed his brow and opened the door," Novak?"

"We've got ourselves a problem." She informed him walking past him and placing her briefcase on the counter.

"Come in." He muttered closing the door, "Would you like something to drink?"

"No…and for the record," She eyed him sternly, "I'm planning on swinging by Olivia's house and telling her this myself, I will not keep this form her." She told him pulling out two blue briefs.

"Okay." Cragen nodded slightly, "Care to tell me what you're here for?"

She slid one brief over to him; "I got the warrant approved for the tapes last night around midnight."

"Wow, midnight?" Cragen arched his brow, "What strings did you pull?"

"Not my strings," She exhaled, "Alex's connections."

"Oh." He nodded and leaned on his kitchen counter folding his arms over his chest, "So, this is a good thing then, why would we want to keep this from Olivia?"

"Well, because, this morning I got this." She frowned sliding the other brief over to him.

"What is it?"

"An order to void the warrant by way of injunction."

"What?" he opened it scanning the wording, "Why?"

"Apparently," she exhaled, "A prominent member of the community was treated in that same emergency room that day, and they filed the injunction citing patient confidentiality, because, apparently, they were higher than a kite."

"So."

"Well, they're attorney argued successfully that it could be damaging to their career if the information got out…we're stuck, and this is gonna kill Olivia and Elliot, you'd better think of something, like, now." She told him.

"What are you suggesting Councilor?"

"I'm suggesting you find some way to get a hold of that tape so they know who has Isaac."

"I'm legally bound by an oath-"

"Damnit!" She slammed her palm against the counter, "Shove the damn oath, Captain!" she barked, "Let me tell you something, there is a little boy somewhere in New York that is slowly believing that the parents he has right now, are his parents, he's slowly forgetting the sound of Olivia and Elliot's voices." She yelled at him picking the briefs up, "He doesn't know that he has a brother and two more siblings on the way." She started to speak more angrily as she thrust the legal information into her briefcase and slammed it shut, "Isaac doesn't know that his mother thinks about him daily, or that his father keeps a picture of him glued to the back of his badge."

"Casey-"

"Shut the hell up for once!" she snapped pulling her brief case off the counter, "I woke up in the hospital, paralyzed!" Her eyes started to mist, "I couldn't make love to my husband, I couldn't take a shower by myself or walk around my own house without someone's help!"

"Ple-"

"I'm still talking!" she yelled and cast away any sliver of control she may have had and continued on her tirade, "My husband is so stressed out over loosing Isaac to a man who tried to stab him to death that he tried to kill himself this week, and pass it off as a traffic accident thinking I actually wouldn't pull the report from traffic division and realize that there were no skid marks and that he wasn't wearing a seatbelt…which he always does!" she blinked out a tear having just confessed that out loud for the first time, "This isn't just about Isaac, and Elliot and Olivia anymore," she lowered her voice and wiped at the tear, "My husband and I almost died," she whispered gruffly, "If we could do it all over again, we wouldn't change a thing other than having Isaac still with us today, but the fact still remains, that there are _four _victims here, and you'd better find a way to speak for them."

"Cas-"

"I'll see myself out."


	13. Chapter 13 Two Suggestions

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 12: Two Suggestions.

A/N: For all of you reading in Calexico, I'm not sure I spelled that right, but then again it's a well known fact that I can't spell. Anyhow, this is for you! This is actually a two part chapter so I'm finishing up the second one as you read this. Peace out! And to Kellyofthemidnightdawn, I love your reviews, you crack the crap right out of me.

This is a PG 13 chapter but there is definitely good portion of R rolling around, consider yourself warned and if your under eighteen you know what to do.

Tripod yawned and stretched his back on the bed as Sam lay sleeping, the sun warming them both as it spilled in from the window. Tripod sniffled and shook his head causing his ears to flap side to side. Samuel stirred slightly as the puppy wagged its tail this way and that, nuzzling Sam with his wet nose.

Sam smiled at the wetness and slowly sat up and yawned, "Morning Tripod." He muttered and stroked the dog softly as he curled up next to him, "Today will be fun." He whispered to his puppy, "Mom and Dad are taking me to the water, I use to not like the water, Tripod, but it's okay...I think maybe, I'll let go today." Sam ducked his head, gave the dog a kiss on his head and flipped the covers back, "Let's go Tripod, I have to get ready." Sam informed his sidekick, "Mom says we won't be gone long, so you don't have to be scared of the boogieman." He assured him as he made his bed. "Mom says she and Dad are gonna catch him and we don't have to worry anymore Tripod." He yawned once more and called for his friend, "Got to go pee pee? I do." He told him matter of factly, the same conversation he had with his pup since he'd saved him from the human society.

Sam let him out to make his environmental contribution as he padded through the house using the restroom and brushing his teeth. He made his way to the laundry room and opened the cabinet felling around until his small hands collided with the duffel he recognized as the one they used when they went to the water. He pulled it out and managed to open it, returning to the cabinet to feel for the swimming attire that was usually on the shelf above the bag. He giggled when he came across what he felt was he and Elliot's pink trunks. He tossed them in the bag and returned to the shelf pulling out what was left and frowning. There were multiple tops like Olivia wore and even more bottoms. He took a minute and felt of the fabrics trying to determine what it was that she wore, but when frustration kicked in, he simply grabbed a top and bottom and threw them into the bag.

He continued his mission and felt for his floaters, "Gotchya." He murmured to himself and deposited the floaters in the bag. Sam made his way through the house as quietly as he could knowing that Olivia had been tired and she sounded a bit sad, and although she wouldn't admit it to him, he knew she was. He changed quickly and finished his usual Saturday morning chores of taking out the trash and making sure his clothes were put away quickly, his most difficult task was remembering his clothing an where they went. He was happy that Elliot had come up with the idea of safety pinning colored socks together, up high meant they we're black, down low told him they were tan and if they weren't pinned they were white.

He finished and felt on the counter for the phone dialing the speed number he had memorized and waiting for a voice to pick up, "Robert?" Sam furrowed his brow at the groggy voice, "Robert are you sleeping?"

"Hey, Sam!" Robert tried to clear his voice, "What's up buddy are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah," Sam assured him, "Can I speak with Alex, please?"

"Sure thing." Robert chuckled.

"Sam?" Alex's voice was dazed, "What's up honey? You okay?"

"Yeah yeah, I wanted to tell you good morning." He smiled.

"That's very sweet of you." She told him, "But why are you up so early, it's barely seven."

"My mommy is sad and we have to do things today, so I'm being a big boy and helping her." He assured her.

"Ah, I see." Alex chuckled into the phone, "How do you know you're Mom is sad?"

"Because she sounded like you when you were sad." He told her softly, "Will you come talk to her tonight, like she talked to you?" he asked innocently.

"Well, I think we should ask her if she's up for visitors first-"

"She is." He answered never having asked her.

"Well, then in that case," Alex smiled knowing he was lying but also knowing he didn't like it when Olivia was upset, "Paul and I will be there with bells on."

Sam grinned, "I love you Alex, I have to go wake her up."

"Okay, do it nice though, I love you too sweetie."

"Bye." He giggled and hung up the phone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alex exhaled and flopped back onto her pillow, "That kid is bound and determined to make me get up early every Saturday," she chuckled.

"He likes you." Robert smiled caressing her face softly and tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear, "I like you."

"Mmm, your pretty likeable too." She grinned resting her hand on his abdomen, "Your cute."

"Really?" he smiled.

"Yeah…I like you." Alex grinned, "I like you a lot."

He rested his forehead against hers and smiled, "Good to know." He whispered and kissed her lips tenderly, "How are you feeling Alex?"

"Some minutes are better than others."

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Sam felt along the door frame, happy the door was open so he didn't have to knock to wake them up, he padded in softly until he reached the bed and felt along her side of the bed, a knee, a hip, her arm and shoulder until his hand rested lightly on her face, he ducked his head and placed a humming kiss on her cheek complete with a smack of the lips as she stirred awake.

"Hey, Baby." She croaked out through sleep, sitting up slowly as the sunlight assaulted her eyes, "You're up early." She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and smiled at his eager grin.

"Morning Mom." He beamed crawling up into the bed and causing her to laugh softly when he nuzzled into her lap, "Are we going to the water today?"

"Yep…are you happy about it or sad?"

"Happy." He assured her holding out his sock covered feet, "Match?"

She looked down at the white socks and smiled, "Yep, how's that working for you?"

"Cake." He grinned.

She kissed him softly on the head and hugged him tightly as if this little eight year old could take away all of her pain and sadness, "I love you Samuel." She whispered.

He tilted his head back and clapped his hands at the remark as he laughed and then kissed her on the cheek again.

"Hey," Elliot groaned and laughed from the opposite side, "What's with all the commotion?"

"We're going to the water." Sam told him crawling over to him and sitting on his chest, "I got my floaties." He assured him, "and I got our shorts and Mom's clothes to swim in…can we go now? Please?"

"Wow," Elliot eyed Olivia as he tickled Sam, "Someone is being responsible."

Olivia laughed and ruffled Sam's hair, "You're begging us to go to the pool?"

"I want to go." Sam told her again, "Can we go now?"

Olivia chuckled, "Sure, baby, put the bag by the front door and go finish you're science reading while we get ready."

"I did it." He lied. He hated Science.

"Sam." Elliot warned, "What's the truth."

Sam groaned, "I'll go do it."

"Thank you." Elliot smiled.

"Mom?"

"Yeah Baby?"

"Alex will be here tonight with bells on." He informed her sliding off the bed.

"What?" She furrowed a brow, "Why?"

"I called her and asked her to come." He told her matter of factly.

"When?" She asked suddenly feeling the most aware all morning.

"Um, before I woke you up." He told her sheepishly.

Olivia looked at the alarm clock and then at Elliot as they both chuckled, "Baby, new rule okay?"

"What?" he frowned.

"No phone before ten O'clock on the weekends."

He arched his brow and dropped his jaw in horror, "But Mom I-"

"No buts." She told him firmly, yet tenderly.

"Mom," he continued leaving out the but as he leaned into her and framed her face with tiny hands, causing Olivia to roll her eyes at the thought of her son taking after Elliot more and more, "I have to talk to Alex, and what about Casey and-"

"Casey?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "Oh no." She laughed "Baby, do you call Casey while we're asleep too?"

"And Paul at work…I'm in trouble aren't I?"

Olivia laughed with Elliot, "No, Baby," She smiled ruffling his hair again, "But no more before ten, unless its an emergency."

He smacked his lips, "Okay."

"Alright, finish up your homework and we'll be out in a second." She told him kissing him softly before Elliot leaned completely over her and hugged him.

"The ladies are gonna love you Sam."

Sam giggled, "I got homework."

Olivia and Elliot watched as Sam walked out of the room dragging the duffel that was far too large for him behind him. They laughed together softly, "he hates science, it's always the last piece of homework he does." Elliot grinned.

"I know." She chuckled and exhaled, "He's got a thing for early morning wake up calls."

"I'm surprised Casey hadn't said anything." He told her rubbing her abdomen.

"Elliot?" She looked over at him as he lay next to her.

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

"What?"

She nuzzled closer to him and grazed his lips with hers, "Kiss me, please?"

He grinned and kissed her full on the mouth, his tongue caressing hers as her hand warmed his cheek, her feet tangled with his as he smiled against her mouth and separated, "Good Morning." He whispered kissing her softly again.

"Good Morning." She whispered back and kissed him affectionately and smiled softly, "Ready?"

"Yep." He smiled and flipped back the comforter; "Let's go before Sam calls Cragen or worse Fin…it's his day off, could you imagine what he would do?"

Olivia laughed and slipped out of bed scrounging for her lucky jeans and slipping them on over her thighs and furrowing her brow when she couldn't zip them, "Oh no." she whispered in horror to herself.

"What?" Elliot asked sliding his body easily into his jeans, "What's wrong?"

She groaned, "I'm getting fat."

"I think that's suppose to happen." He laughed and snaked his hands around her middle.

"El," She exhaled miserably, "I feel like I gained twenty pounds overnight."

He smiled into her neck and caressed her swelling belly, "You're starting to look like it."

"Shut up!" She told him shoving her elbow into his rib playfully.

"Hey," he drew her closer, "I didn't say you didn't look hot." He assured her playfully, as he slid his hand slowly up her shirt and grazed her breast, "I think you're so sexy right now, I think your always sexy, but when your pregnant," he moved his lips to her ear and whispered, "Your drop dead gorgeous."

She turned and smiled sadly at him, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to wear the maternity clothes I wore when I was carrying Isaac…I don't want to." She whispered and cleared her throat, "Would you mind if I bought new ones? I mean, I could find some nice ones at the Salvation Army Thrift Store or I could just get a couple slacks and overalls, I know clothing is expensive, nothing big and elaborate, I just don't want to pull those clothes out…I can't." she exhaled.

He smiled and kissed her forehead, "You can't have clothes from the thrift store."

"What?" She furrowed her bro, "El, I ca-"

"I'm taking you to a real store, and your buying what ever it is that you want." He told her with a smile and gentle kiss, "Our money is fine, we're doing fine, you're a great shopper, we'll go today, how does that sound?"

"Really?" She grinned.

"Yeah…and Liv?"

"What?"

"You know you never have to ask to spend our money, right?"

She blushed softly, "I just…it's your money too, I…I-"

"I'm not your mom Liv," he whispered holding her waist, "I'm not encouraging you to go and buy a Beamer but…if you see something you like in the store, buy it." He grinned.

"I do." She assured him.

He leaned his forehead against hers and smiled softly, "Toothpaste and groceries and my socks and Sam's shoes don't count…when is the last time you bought yourself something new?"

She raised a brow trying to think back and couldn't remember.

"Olivia," He laughed kissing her on the lips, "If it takes you that long to figure it out…it's time for you to go shopping."

She smiled and draped her arms around his shoulders, "Why are you so good to me?"

"Because I love you…immeasurably." He told her honestly, "I love you, Liv."

"We're sappy you know that?"

Elliot laughed, "Who would have thought, us two?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder and listened to his heartbeat as she exhaled, "Heard from Novak or Cragen?"

"No." He whispered, "But we will."

She nodded her head softly and hugged him tighter, "I love you."

He kissed the crown of her head, "I adore you."

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"Mom, hurry." Sam called over his shoulder as they made their way into the locker room.

"Sweet Pea," Olivia laughed, "Why are you in such a big hurry today, Dad and I aren't working, we can take our time, and still have fun."

"No, I have to show you something." He told her, "Please?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled, "Alright, let's get changed, hurry, your dad is probably already in the pool."

Sam stripped down to his boxers and grabbed his trunks, "Are you turned?"

"Turned." She told him furrowing her brows at the bikini that he packed for her, she decided she wasn't about to hurt her feelings and so she quickly changed.

"Done." Sam told her as she finished tying her last strap.

"Well, let's go then." She laughed as he took her elbow and they walked out to the pool where Elliot was already chest deep.

"Hey, now there are the two best looking people I've ever seen." Elliot smiled from the pool and then frowned at Olivia's swimsuit, that was anything but matching, with a floral print, blue bottom and a jet black and pink top. She smiled and raised her finger to her nose as she pointed to Sam telling Elliot that Sam packed it and he needed to be quiet.

"Hey Sam?"

"Yeah?" He grinned sitting at the edge of the pool as Olivia sat next to him and started to blow his floaters up.

"Did you pack our stuff this morning?"

Olivia paused and looked at him and then continued to blow in air.

"Yeah, Alex says I got to be responsible like a big boy." He told him letting his feet kick back in forth under the water.

Olivia slid one inflated floater on his arm and reached for the other.

"Well, I just have to tell you, man, you got great taste, because your Mom looks gorgeous." He smiled looking up at Olivia as she sealed the last floater. He rubbed her thigh softly as she ensured Sam's floaters where in the right spot.

"Alright Sam." She told him as she slipped into the pool, "Let us know whe-" before she could finish Sam had lowered himself into the pool and hung onto the edge for dear life. Elliot and Olivia stared at each other in disbelief but both made they're way closer to him. "Can I help Sam?" She asked.

"No." He shook his head, "I can do it…move back please."

Olivia grinned, "Okay, let me know if you need anything."

"Mom where are you?"

"Directly in front of you, the length of your room." She told him, as Elliot stayed closer just in case he lost his grip and was startled. Sam remained silent but there was something about his face, a thought process taking place that made Olivia smile in realization of what he was wanting to do, "Kick the wall with your feet, Elliot will stay right beside you, all you have to do is kick your feet and move your arms, like we told you." She encouraged and then waited for him to make the first move.

Olivia grinned like a school child as she watched Sam slowly let go from the side of the pool and kick off with his feet, frantically dog paddling as fast as he could.

"Your almost there Sam." Elliot smiled walking along the little body that struggled to stay afloat but managed to do so.

His hand collided with her chest and he clung to her panting for air, "I did it." He struggled for breath through a smile, "I did it Mom."

"I know!" She grinned and laughed, "I'm so proud of you!" she told him kissing his cheek and hugging him tightly as Elliot embraced them both and kissed Sam on the crown of his head.

"Wow…you are a super hero Sam, that was amazing!" Elliot grinned stroking the youngster's back who was already void of energy just from the struggle of over coming a fear. Olivia shifted Sam to her hip in an effort to get closer to Elliot who rubbed her abdomen softly under the water as he ducked his head and kissed her softly, quietly as Sam rested his head against her shoulder. He parted with a lingering kiss and a stare that forced her to swallow hard, there was something about Sam, something about the prospect of bringing new babies into the world that made them want one another all the more, and it seemed that the more Sam overcame, through their efforts, the more they wanted one another.

Sam raised his head and kissed Olivia gently on the cheek before reclaiming his spot, on her shoulder, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"If the baby is a girl what will you name her?"

"I though you said the baby was a boy?" She teased and felt his hand pat her belly underwater.

"I don't know, sometimes I think the baby is a girl and sometimes I think a boy." He told her as if he himself were an OBGYN.

"Well," Elliot smiled and nudged Olivia, "What if they're we're two babies in your mom's tummy?"

"Two?" He furrowed his brow, "Mom, can't fit two, silly. She's small."

Olivia grinned at the remark; she was starting to feel anything but small.

"What if I told you there could be two babies in your mom's belly and she's gonna get really big."

"Two?" Sam furrowed his brow and touched her belly again, "A boy and a girl," he grinned throwing his head back, "Mom," he smiled taking her face into his hands and resting his forehead against hers, "do you have two, mom?"

Olivia laughed at his sudden change of heart, it seemed like he wasn't too fond of having one just weeks ago, but today, he was ecstatic about two, "Yeah, honey, there's two babies in here and your dad is right, I'm gonna get really, really big." She grinned. Happy.

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"Mom?" Sam smiled, "Robert is gonna come and play chess with me."

"Huh?" She furrowed her brow, "Oh, Sam, did you use the phone while we took showers?"

"My watch told me it was after ten." He protested.

"Sam," She kneeled in front of him, "Robert may want to do something with Alex today, and they're already coming tonight…Baby, I know you like them so much, but you need to ask us before you make plans to call them."

"But dad told me too." He furrowed his brow in frustration, "I was _listening,_ mom."

Olivia arched her brow, "Your dad told you to?"

"Yeah, he said he was gonna take you to go make clothes look beautiful." He explained.

Olivia laughed and kissed him playfully, " I think you got that backwards."

"Nope!" Elliot grinned pulling her up from the floor, "Robert will be here shortly, to take our boy to a chess tournament because Alex is having lunch with Casey, and you make any piece of clothing beautiful." He whispered his last part over her lips and sipped softly before pulling away, "Can't have some one this beautiful going around the city in track pants." He teased.

"Told you." Sam retorted.

Olivia kissed Sam's forehead, "I'm sorry…forgive me?"

Sam grinned, "Forgiveness is a must."

"Right on Buddy."

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"What about this one?" Elliot asked holding up a pale yellow maternity shirt, "it's got this cute bow thingy here." He said.

Olivia smiled the man in front of her; she took the shirt and hung it back on the rack, "When have I ever worn yellow?"

"Never."

"Exactly, and when have I ever had a bow thingy?" she asked sifting through the rack for something else.

"Never." He smiled, "Okay point made."

"What about this?" He asked pulling a white shirt off of the rack, a gentle embroider design just along the neck line, an empire waist so she could keep wearing the shirt as she got bigger.

"Wow, that's amazing."

"Try it on." He urged her.

"No." She shook her head.

"Why not? You just said you liked it." He furrowed his brow.

"It's not on sale, come on, let's hit the sale rack." She told him.

"No." he stood his ground stubbornly.

"No?" She arched a brow in shock at his behavior, "El, it's just a shirt."

"That I'd like to see you in." he grinned, "Come on, just go in there and show me how beautiful you can make this look."

She groaned and exhaled as she snatched the shirt from him, "Fine."

"Thank you." He grinned and watched her step into the changing area…a thought crossed his mind. He waited until the woman at the counter walked Olivia back to the room and returned to the counter.

"Hi," Elliot stuck his hand out in greeting, "Did my wife come this way, she's tall, amazingly beautiful." He smiled.

"Brunette with the white maternity shirt?"

"Yep, that's her." He grinned bigger, "Look, she's pregnant and having a really lousy time with this whole fat thing…big clothes, blah blah blah." He rolled his eyes, as he laid it on thick. "I was wondering if it is at all possible if you could just give us maybe twenty minutes so, I can go in there with her?"

"I'm sorry Sir we can't do that." The woman replied firmly.

"Oh," Elliot shook his head, "You misunderstand," he told her pulling out his police identification, "I'm a cop, I'll be good, I promise, it's just that we just came from Macy's and she cried in the dressing room for an hour because she feels like she's ugly in all the clothes." He probably figured he was going to hell for the web of lies he was stringing right now, but he had a plan, and by golly he was gonna succeed with it, "Please, she's very delicate right now." He laughed to himself, Liv? Delicate? Yeah. Right.

She exhaled, looked around the store, "It's a little slow…twenty minutes." She agreed, "But if someone catches you in there…I never saw you before."

Elliot grinned, then bowed his head in thanks and spoke somberly, "She's really gonna appreciate this…you have no idea."

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Olivia grinned at her bra-clad torso in the dressing room mirror, her belly was starting to show itself proud and while she wasn't too hot on maternity clothes, she was pretty hot on being a mom to four beautiful children.

She took the shirt off of the hanger and pulled it over her body just as there was a knock at the door, "Occupied." She said politely as she flicked her hair out of the collar, but grinned at the whisper she heard.

"Liv, open up."

She cracked the door and saw a grinning Elliot on the other side, "What are you doing?" She asked wide eyed, "This is the ladies room."

"I know." He whispered with that same look from the pool, causing the same reaction in her as she stepped back to let him inside. He shut the door behind him and smiled softly looking at her, "You make that shirt look amazing." He whispered.

"Thank you." She blushed tucking hair behind her ear, "Come on El, get out of here befo-"

He pulled her to him quickly and kissed her passionately on the mouth, tasting the cherry chocolate he'd bought her on the way to the store, He tangled his hands into her hair seeking her mouth out with his tongue, seeking her body out as he pushed her up against the wall.

She pulled away and bowed her head, "Air." She panted through a whisper, "I need air."

He smiled and grazed her breast with his open palm, "Are you sore?"

"Yes." She told him softly, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He whispered, taking her lips into his captivity again and pinning her hips to the wall with his own, as he broke from her mouth and sought an exploration of her neck.

"El…El," She panted, "We're gonna get caught."

"No…trust me." He told her pulling the shirt off of her body and casting it to the floor.

"Why here?" she moaned feeling his thickness against her, "Is this like…a fantasy for you?" she asked grinding her hips back into him, "Oh…you're gonna make me come, Elliot."

"I want to make love to you. Here." He whispered in her ear and she felt it, she felt the intense heat flash through her body, her nipples rise in a split second and the juncture of her thighs practically scream for his trespass.

"Why?"

"Something Different…that's what you wanted." He whispered pulling the drawstring on her track pants.

"You already took care of that." She panted kissing him almost frantically, short and hot, this was a new exploration for both of them, and her body wasn't complaining.

"I have control of that fantasy for a whole week." He groaned into her ear as she cupped him through his pants, "Mmm, don't or I can't."

"That excited already?" She smiled moving her hands to unbutton his pants and push them and his boxers down to his thighs, "I can't believe we're doing this." She whispered.

"I can't believe we didn't do this sooner." He grinned and pushed her pants down with her underwear as they pooled to the ground. He kissed and nipped at her cleavage just above her bra but remained cautious not wanting to hurt her. He took hold of her waist and rubbed himself into her as he put her back on the wall, the mirror to their left, "Look Liv." He whispered turning her face so that they both saw each other in the mirror, they're bodies tangled up against a wall.

"Please," she whined against him, panting for air, "Right now." She whispered feeling his hot breath over him as he breathed hard against her, they watched in the mirror together as he entered her, the difference in position making her bite down into her lower lip to keep her from jumping of the edge. He hiked her leg around his waist as she twined her hands at the back of his neck, him moving in and out of her, their hips grinding into one another.

He watched her in the mirror, saw her entire body change color in front of him, encouraging him to continue diving into her depth. He smiled hearing her soft whimpers grow louder, "Liv…" he continued to move inside of her, "you can't scream." He whispered watching her jaw go slack as she leaned cheek to cheek with him starring at him in the mirror.

She groaned half in frustration and half in satisfaction of what he was doing to her, of what she was witnessing in the mirror, she watched his muscles flex against her with each push, watched the sheen of sweat build, "Faster." She whispered into his ear and brought her other leg over his hip, "Deeper." He continued to watch himself in the mirror as he plunged into her, seeing her tilt her head back, her body grow tense, "So close, Elliot." She panted, "Please, come with me." She whispered reaching between their bodies as he continued to push deeper and faster into her.

She felt him tense, his muscles bulge as he cupped her backside and went even deeper, "I'm ready," he managed to say.

She stroked herself quickly and watched their faces in the mirror as they both came, fingertips digging into flesh, as she arched her body backwards at the sensation of having every cell in her body ignite, his hand at the back of her head, fingers tangled in hair as he came hard inside of her.

Both exhausted and out of breath they rested like that, her legs locked around him as they watched each other in the mirror until he fell from her. She sighed at the loss of contact and kissed him tenderly on the mouth as she straightened her legs, before reaching down and pulling his pants back up for him. Kissing him and running her tongue along his teeth as she buckled them she whispered, "That was definitely different…thank you."

He smirked and kissed her mouth, trailing his tongue along her body and kissing her navel softly before pulling her down just enough to spread her thighs and tilt the cradle of her hips, he tongued her already sensitive core gently, feeling her fingers dig into him, he looked up at her, "Watch." He told her motioning to the mirror, "Watch yourself."

She swallowed not knowing if she could keep standing once he started in on her again, she turned her face to the mirror and climaxed the instant she saw him on his knees buried between her thighs. She panted and moaned wanting to simply slide down the wall. He picked up the shirt from the ground and helped her stand more upright. "Your welcome." He whispered kissing her again and smiling, "Buy this." He told her holding the shirt.

"No." She laughed softly, "It's forty-two dollars."

He smiled and kissed her again, "I'll put it back on the hanger while you get yourself situated."

She leaned up and kissed him again, "Thanks."

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Elliot smiled as Olivia slept in the SUV on the way back to the house, her face possessing a slight curl of the lips, that distinct glow that she always wears after they've made love. He reached over and took her hand, interlacing hers with his as he drove back to their home in comfortable silence.

He slowed the vehicle pulling into their driveway and squeezed her hand softly, "We're home Liv."

She jumped with a start and looked around quickly then making the connection, "Oh, no…El, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep."

He chuckled as he got out of the vehicle and looked at her, "It's okay…I wore you out," He shrugged playfully, "I understand."

She rolled her eyes, and stepped out of the car, "I have to say, that was pretty…something." She finished unable to find a word suitable for the experience.

He joined her on the other side of the vehicle cutting her off as she started to speak again, "He pressed her against the car kissing her mouth and running his hands along her sides, "Why do you have to be so amazing?" he whispered against her "You're gonna wear me out, Liv."

She grinned and kissed him back, "El, come on, we got to get the bags in the house, Alex is gonna bring Sam back soon."

"Are you trying to tell me that you don't want me…right now? Right this second?" he asked leering at her as he ground his hips into her.

She turned quickly and pressed him into the vehicle, lacing her hands with his and pinning them to his sides, as she pressed her hips and breast into him. She nipped at his mouth, kissed him seductively and whispered in his ear, "I'm saying, I want you right now, right this second, but we're gonna be interrupted if we start something. If you're a good boy and you wait…you can have me tonight."

He grinned, "I'll get the bags."

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Olivia rinsed her hair quickly knowing she was pressed for time, and her little romp with Elliot in the dressing room zapped her of any available energy she had for the day. She was grateful, that Elliot told her he'd get things ready for Alex and Robert to stop by, she was grateful he told her he'd put her new clothes in the closet, she was hesitant when he told her he'd pick out clothes for her to wear tonight.

She stepped out and towel dried before pulling on her robe and brushing her teeth. She beamed as she watched Elliot hug her from behind in the mirror; "I think I really like mirrors now."

"Really?" Elliot laughed kissing her neck, "I love you."

"I know." She grinned, "I love you too."

"You we're amazing today."

She chuckled and blushed, "You we're…you we're hot."

He kissed the back of her head softly and slid his hand into her robe grazing her nipple and nibbling softly on her ear lobe, "El," she whispered fighting back a moan, "What are you doing?"

He grinned and lowered his hand to her center stroking her so lightly she was shocked at the sensation she felt and then the absence of it when he walked away and threw over his shoulder, "Alex and Robert are here." He chuckled.

She groaned, "Wicked, Elliot."

"Hurry." He laughed and disappeared.

She rolled her eyes and tried to calm herself, tried to get rid of the flush, and just as she was succeeding, she saw what he'd laid out for her, a new pair of jeans and the white shirt she refused to buy. She laughed, "Sneaky." She muttered and slipped into the jeans first and reached for the shirt noticing he'd pinned a note to the shirt.

"Hey Sexy: You really we're amazing this afternoon. Wear this so I can remember you in the mirror tonight. And you really do make this shirt look beautiful. Love you more than you know. –El" she exhaled and finished getting dressed opting for bare feet and no makeup.

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"Did you have fun today Sam?" Elliot asked seeing the little boy wound up tighter than a cheap watch.

"Yeah, I won fifteen dollars." He grinned and crawled up on the couch next to Alex who draped her arm around him and then froze as Olivia suddenly appeared in the hallway. Her eyes never moving once they locked onto Elliot's. She was stunning in white, something about the color that made the tough detective look innocent.

Alex thought maybe the innocence could be questioned when she crossed the room in silence and framed Elliot's face with her hands, kissing him passionately, bodies flushed together, as Elliot fought confusion at her brazen gesture and finally gave in, his hands on her waist, fully aware that Alex and Robert stared in shock at a move completely not Olivia.

She pulled away gently and kissed him softly again, "Thanks for the shirt." She whispered.

Elliot swallowed his body and senses recovering, "Um…I bought you a lot of other stuff too."

She smiled and ran her fingers along his abdomen, "Yeah, I know." She whispered and turned to her guest, bowing her head to cover her blushing face.

"Wow." Alex couldn't resist the tease; "You know I seem to remember a certain detective interrogating me when I was kissing Robert."

"Eww." Sam groaned and tugged on Alex's arm, "We're they kissing _again_?"

Alex laughed and helped him off the couch, "Go give your Mom and hug and kiss hello."

He practically ran to the sound of her voice, colliding with her thighs and wrapping his arms around her waist, "Hi." He whispered into her jeans.

"Hi, Baby, did you have fun today?"

"I made money." He giggled, "The man sucks at chess."

Olivia looked up questionly at Robert, "Hey, Sam beat him fair and square," He shrugged, "And he picked up a little ice cream money on the side. It was win win." He shrugged with a smile.

Olivia smiled and kissed Sam's head, "How much?"

"Fifteen." He said proudly.

"Alright, first ten percent?"

"Church." He told her.

"Second ten percent?"

"Savings."

"How much does that leave you?"

He thought about it for a second, the gears working in his mind, "Twelve?"

"Yep." She kissed him again, "Your getting better and better…hungry?"

"No…my tummy hurts."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Alex interjected, "He got a little sick on the way home."

"Did you, Sam?" Olivia asked looking down at him and frowning at the realization that the pants he wore, weren't the pants he'd left in, "Where did these come from?" she asked playfully as she tugged at his buckle loop.

His smiled disappeared and he simply walked away. In the distance, Olivia heard him let his dog in and close the door to his room. "What happened?" Olivia asked sitting down.

"I'm not sure," Robert shrugged, "He was a very happy little boy when we left the tournament, I told him we had a little extra time if he wanted to stop by the store and get some ice cream for tonight."

"Where they out?" Elliot asked jokingly, "He takes his ice cream habit seriously."

Robert's face turned serious, "We never made it into the store."

"Why?" Elliot asked sitting down next to his wife, "What's going on?"

"I don't know, we got to the door of the store, went to walk in and he wouldn't budge. I looked at him and he was as pale as a ghost and he'd…wet himself." Robert informed them.

"Oh, no." Olivia bowed her head and dug her elbows into her knees as she covered her face, "He must have had a heart attack, why didn't you call?" she asked, not angry, just worried.

"Alex and Casey we're eating lunch two blocks away, Elliot said you two needed some time together, so I called Alex knowing she'd probably be the only other person that could get him calm."

"Was he okay, Alex?" Olivia asked suddenly anxious and wanting to be with her son.

"Yeah, once he realized he wasn't in trouble. Robert let him wear his jacket to cover the stain and he cleaned him self up as I waited outside the stall of the bathroom of the department store that we picked him up some pants and underwear, he's fine, but something scared the hell out of him."

"He didn't say what bothered him?" Olivia asked rubbing the back of her neck, wondering if it was actually possible that this boogieman would be so bold as to follow her son even, in the presence of a man as big as Robert.

"No, but I think it was my fault.' Robert swallowed nervously as Elliot narrowed his eyes at him.

"How's that?" Elliot asked.

"You've both asked us to be careful in public with Sam, to be careful of men around him, and I'm sorry, but I walked him right past a guy who was coming out of the store, he brushed against Sam's shoulder, told him 'Hi' and kept walking."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other in knowing, but not wanting to get into all of the details, they would simply have to pull it out of Sam. Olivia exhaled, "Did he talk at all afterwards?"

She asked hoping he wouldn't stop talking on her again.

"Yeah, actually he asked if we could all go see "Hoodwinked."

"Again?" Olivia laughed, "He suckered Paul and Casey into it too…you guys are easy." She laughed.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Yeah, like you can deny that boy."

Olivia blushed, "Busted."

"Alright," Elliot clapped his hands, "Robert here is going to teach me chess so I can play with my boy while you two ladies…do whatever you were going to do." He smiled, and led Robert around to get some drinks, the cheap chess game he'd picked up awhile back and a bag of chips.

"We're off," Robert smiled and kissed Alex on the cheek, "Oh, by the way, congratulations on your two new additions, Olivia, you look really beautiful." He smiled, "Now, if you'll excuse me I've got to go kick Elliot's but in chess."

"Go easy on him," Alex warned, "He's a sore loser."

"Ouch." Elliot called from the hall, "I heard that."

Olivia and Alex laughed, "Want some tea?" Olivia asked standing to her feet.

"Sure." Alex smiled walking into the kitchen with Olivia.

"So, what brings you buy?" Olivia asked retrieving two mugs, "And where are you're bells?"

Alex laughed opening a cupboard and pulling out a box of tea, "Sam took it literal huh?"

"Yeah." Olivia chuckled filling up the teakettle, "But, seriously, you know you can tell Sam 'No' if your busy…or is this where you kill me for my stunt with you and Casey?" Olivia asked turning the stove on and placing the kettle over the heat before turning around.

"Actually," she took Olivia by surprise and wrapped her arms around her, "I owe you a fat hug for doing that." She whispered trying not to hold her tears back before releasing her from the hug, "Besides, Sam asked if I would come talk to you." She informed Olivia rubbing her arms softly, "So, I think the question is, are you okay?"

"What?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "I'm fine."

"Sam said you we're sad." Alex arched a brow daring her to tell her otherwise, "He asked if I would come and talk to you like you came and talked with me…what's up, Olivia?"

"Seriously," Olivia laughed, "I've got no idea what he's talking about, I mean, I have a lot on my mind, but I'm pretty happy." She smiled patting her stomach.

Alex looked at her closely, "I see that you're happy, but what's got you stressed out?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's in your eyes, in you're voice, maybe Sam confused stress for sadness?" Alex asked.

"You're going prosecutor on me right now aren't you?" Olivia asked thankful when the kettle whistled.

"Yep." Alex answered as Olivia broke away, trying to gather her thoughts as she poured the hot water into the mugs and retrieved the crème from the refrigerator for Alex, "I can't believe you put creamer in you're herbal tea…sounds gross."

"Tastes great, stop changing the subject Detective, what's going on?"

Olivia exhaled and looked down the hall making sure the office door was closed and she could hear the laughter of their husbands, "Can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure." She shrugged.

"I sort of already got Casey's take on this…but I'm curious what you think." Olivia informed her.

"Okay." Alex agreed to the line of questioning as she stirred the crème and sugar into her tea.

Olivia took another look down the hall and lowered her voice, "If Robert asked you to be a little bit sweet and a little bit dirty…what do you think he wants?"

Without skipping a beat Alex took a sip of her tea and lowered it slightly, "That he wants really hot sex but he wants it to be just as passionate as when he wants to be soft."

Olivia was almost surprised that Alex wasn't shying away from the conversation. Hell, the woman wasn't even blushing. "So…speaking dirty, isn't necessarily in the equation?" Olivia asked.

"Like hell it isn't." Alex smirked, "That's where the really hot sex comes into play."

"Really?" Olivia folded her arms and looked down the hall again.

"So, Elliot wants you to be a little dirty?" Alex asked nonchalantly.

Olivia blushed, "Um…yeah, something like that." She smiled in embarrassment and took a sip of tea to hide.

"But you don't want to?" Alex suggested.

"It's not necessarily that I don't _want_ to." Olivia told her starring into her tea, "It's just more like…nervous about it, I suppose."

"Nervous? The infamous, steel nerved Olivia Benson Stabler, is nervous?" Alex smiled, "Why?"

"Well," Olivia exhaled in frustration, she was a grown woman yet these talks made her stomach churn, "Can I ask you something even more personal?"

"Sure…but just expect me to ask you something in return."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Okay…has Robert ever hurt you in bed?"

"Yeah, that man sleeps like a mule, he's always kicking me in his sleep." Alex told her with a serious face, inside she was dying of laughter with the torture she was inflicting on Olivia.

"NO!" Olivia groaned and shook her head, "Forget it…let's talk about something else, how are you doing?"

"Olivia," Alex smiled compassionately, "We're friends right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"You trust me?"

"Yeah."

"Then talk to me."

Olivia took another sip of the tea deciding it needed sugar, she plopped in a scoop and stirred aimlessly, "Has Robert ever hurt you while you two were making love?"

Alex grinned, "Not unless I asked him to."

"Alex!" Olivia's jaw dropped in shock at her blatant response.

"What?" Alex raised her hands in protest, "You asked…. alright, maybe I'm having a little fun with you, I'm sorry." Alex smiled and thought the question over in her mind, "The first time we made love against a wall…but it wasn't intentional…it's kind of an awkward position."

Olivia arched a brow and smirked, "You should try the changing rooms at Gottschalk's."

"Olivia!" Alex mocked her with a grin, "Well, shock my modesty, _Olivia Stabler_."

"What?" Olivia shrugged, "It was just a suggestion."

"Yeah," Alex grinned, "Born out of experience?"

Olivia laughed in embarrassment, but found that amidst a close friend, it wasn't _too_ humiliating.

"So how old is the glow?" Alex asked taking another sip.

"What?" Olivia asked in confusion.

"The, I-just-had-sex-glow…how old is it?"

Olivia bowed her head blushing like she never had before, she looked up and leaned into Alex, "I have a glow?"

"Yep. And it rats you out all the time." She teased, "Come on…how old?"

Olivia splayed her hand over her face in horror of this conversation, "A couple of hours."

"Oh," Alex grinned, "Nice."

Olivia threw a dishtowel at her, "Shut up."

"Which changing stall?"

"Alex!" Olivia groaned "Come on, I really need you're opinion here, dirty isn't my expertise."

"Hey!" Alex was clearly insulted, "What's that suppose to mean."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Alex, that's not what I meant and you know it."

Alex smiled, "I know…okay, let's get serious, here, what's the problem? Why don't you want to do this?"

"Well," Olivia bit her bottom lip, "Remember when we use to interview raped victims and you'd observe?"

"Ah, the good old days." She muttered, "Yeah? So?"

"How did most date rape victims say it started? What was the catalyst?"

"Hot and heavy petting, sometimes talking dir- oh," Alex stopped mid thought, "Olivia, your missing it Honey, Elliot would never cross the line, he'd stop if you told him to."

Olivia raised her brows and ran her thumb over her eyebrow exhaling, "I know that…in my heart, but everything that I've seen tells me that this is a catalyst and I don't know if I want that in our bed."

"Everything you've seen? Or, is it more…everything you've _experienced_?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip, "Little of both I suppose…and it's absolutely ridiculous, Elliot loves me so much, and he's never done anything to hurt me, he's actually very gentle."

"Stabler?" Alex furrowed her brow in surprise, "Hmm, interesting."

"What?"

"Well, don't take it the wrong way, but I suppose since I usually was chewing him for bullying a suspect, maybe I didn't appreciate he had a softer side."

"He's an amazing man, Alex." Olivia whispered, "Which makes me hate myself…he doesn't really ask me for anything, you know that? He never pushes me, this is the only area he doesn't push me and demand more from me and I really appreciate it. At work he kicks my butt, makes me a good cop, at home he encourages and pushes me to be a good mom, but as his lover…he won't so much as try something if he thinks it might bother me. "

"Don't hate yourself Olivia." Alex instructed, "_Ask_ yourself."

"What?"

"Ask yourself…why you don't want too, and here…" She said pouring creamer into Olivia's tea, "have some crème with that."

Olivia frowned at the addition to her tea as she thought the question over and stirred in the liquid, "I'm scared."

"Of?"

Olivia took a sip and to her surprise enjoyed the new texture, "This is good."

"I know…answer the question."

"I'm scared that…it will bring up the situation with Oliver…I try to keep that away from Elliot, I try to just deal, but I've been having weird dreams. I'm worried that on one hand if I don't give him this, he might be disappointed. But if I do, and it triggers something, I'm scared it's just one more thing to add on our plate."

"Well, see, that's your problem right there." Alex told her taking another sip of her tea and letting the mug warm her hands.

"What's my problem? Where?" Olivia looked at her in confusion.

"You worry too damn much." She smiled, "I'll tell you something, when I'm making love to Robert, there's nothing going on in my mind except him."

Olivia leaned over the counter and rested her head on her palm looking up at Alex, "I don't worry while he's…well, yeah, I guess I do, sometimes." She whispered, "I don't know what to do." She shrugged her shoulders in defeat, "I think I liked it better when I wasn't getting any."

They both broke into laughter.

When Alex finally wiped the moisture from her eyes, she leveled her gaze with Olivia's, "Sex with your husband is suppose to be fun and intense and passionate."

"Am I missing' something here?" Olivia tilted her head and folded her arms, "Casey said the same thing and I have to say, I know Elliot and I have the intense and passionate parts down, but I'm not really grasping the fun aspect, I mean, don't get me wrong…it's definitely enjoyable, but it's not like…playful fun…am I even making sense?"

"Yes." Alex assured her, "And Casey and I say the same thing because it's true." Alex smiled softly, "Look, I'm gonna tell you something and I need you to just listen and not ask questions cause I can't answer them."

Olivia leaned in closer and lowered her voice, "Okay, what's up?"

"When I was in the program," Alex exhaled, "Robert doesn't know this, I mean he knows about the program but he doesn't know what I 'm gonna tell you, so please…I'm trusting you."

"Thank you…my lips are sealed." Olivia assured her.

"I almost got married."

"Wow, really?" Olivia arched a brow, "Serious?"

"Yeah." Alex lowered her gaze following the grout on the countertop.

"What happened?"

"The day before the wedding, he and I were having sex and he called out my name…only it wasn't my name, it was my cover…and I knew that I could never be intimate with him the way I wanted to, it would never be fun for me. I was always plagued with guilt, felt like I was lying."

"You called off the wedding?" Olivia whispered.

Alex raised the mug to her lips, "More like," she took a slow sip and looked away, "More like I just didn't show up."

"Holy shit." Olivia whispered slowly.

"Thanks…that made this so much easier." Alex shook her head and placed the mug on the counter top.

"I'm sorry, it just took me by surprise."

"Him too." Alex nodded, her eyes reliving the memory before she shook herself out of it, "Anyway, when I met Robert, I was happy, so free to be able to touch him and kiss him without feeling like I was doing something wrong."

"He's a good man." Olivia smiled, "Sam adores him, Elliot enjoys his company, because, believe me when I tell you, Elliot can't sit down and just let someone teach him something…you know," Olivia rolled her eyes and grinned, "Because he's the all knowing Elliot."

Alex chuckled, "Robert and I are pretty found of the Stabler brood ourselves, but I'm not done with my story." Alex reminded her.

"Continue," Olivia smiled, "Please."

"This might embarrass you, it might sound crude but the first time Robert and I made love, it was just like I told you Olivia, intense, passionate…and fun." She smiled softly, "Don't get wound up in the what if's and the should I's and the but what's, enjoy the fact that you have someone completely in love with you…the _real_ you, not the detective who has more balls than most men, but the woman who he holds and loves more than anything…you try to be a hard ass at work, and you succeed at it, but Olivia, you're entirely different without that badge, hell, you're entirely different that you we're when I came back to the city."

"Really?" Olivia grinned.

"Yeah," Alex nodded, "I mean, for starters, you've got that ridiculous grin," she laughed, watching it widen, "You've got this little boy that whenever he calls you Mom, you practically melt into a puddle, and you've got his amazing husband that I'm pretty sure, you're entirely soft with."

"You're good." Olivia chuckled, "Real good."

Alex raised her mug up in a mock toast, "I know."

"Well, can I ask you one last question?"

"Sure."

"What would you do?"

Alex smiled, "If it was my husband?"

"Yeah."

"Well," Alex smiled confidently, "I'd be a little bit sweet, and a whole lot of dirty." She laughed, "Robert and I are adventurous, we do…crazy stuff, I mean no whips or anything, but…we like to explore our possibilities."

"And you've never not wanted to do something?"

"A lot of times." Alex assured her, "And believe it or not, there are things Robert doesn't like to do, but we love and respect each other enough that if we try it and don't like it, we don't pressure each other…that's healthy." She shrugged.

"What should I do?" Olivia asked, "What do you think?"

"I think that I can't tell you what you should do, it's your body, your husband, your bed…I'm nowhere in the equation, I've got no right making an assessment."

Olivia laughed, "Casey said basically the same thing, you two are like a double team from hell."

"Thanks." Alex winked, "I'll pass that along to her…Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll make two suggestions."

"I'm listening."

"One: Talk to your husband about this, he'll understand your apprehension." She assured her.

"And two?" Olivia frowned.

"Do…what you feel comfortable with, do what doesn't make you feel guilty or less than who you are."


	14. Chapter 14 Rogue

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 14 Rogue

A/N: This was a tricky chapter to write for Elliot and Olivia, I hope that you all read it and see where she's coming from. This is definitely not an easy read and to be honest I didn't even like writing it. And just because I know I might get questions, OSHA is an organization here in cali, I know they have something similar in New York, but I couldn't find the exact name so other than that, I thin I've covered it. PEACE.

"You look like the weight of the world is on you're shoulders." Elliot whispered snaking his arms around Olivia's waist and rubbing her belly softly just as she was about to enter Sam's room.

She exhaled and leaned into his embrace, "I was just gonna go in and try to talk with Sam."

"Oh." Elliot smiled and kissed the back of her head, "Liv?"

"Yeah?" she whispered, not because she had to, but because that was all the strength she had.

"Whatever is bothering you…I've noticed it for the last couple of days, and I know it's not about Isaac or Sam, so when you're ready to talk, I'm right here ready to listen." He assured her kissing her cheek tenderly and turning to leave.

Olivia turned and pulled him back to her, her lips quickly seeking out his in a kiss that for a moment, made her forget that she was going to have to talk to Sam, made her forget that she was hurting in such an intimate way, made her forget that she felt ashamed that she couldn't please her husband in a way that he wanted. She parted, struggling for breath and catching it as she rested her forehead against his, "Today, was really amazing," She swallowed, "And I hope…I can always give you what you want."

He smiled and kissed her lips, "Everyday that I wake up next to you and see this amazing smile," he whispered tracing her lips with his thumb, "you're giving me what I've always wanted."

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"Sam?" Olivia knocked softly on his door, taking note that while it was evening, he was probably still awake, "I see you're trying to hold back a smile." She teased him and sure enough he grinned at the sound of her voice, "Can I talk to you Honey?"

He sat up and made room for her on his bed, "I'm sorry, Mom," he exhaled and rested his head next to her as she draped her arm around him and pulled him close.

"For what?" She asked kissing the top of his head and making a mental note that he needed a haircut.

"I have a lot of accidents, I don't hold it too well." He whispered.

"Ah, I see." She told him, "Tell me something Baby, what makes you have an accident? Is it the sound of a man's voice that you don't recognize?"

"Not so much, sometimes, but not so much." He told her as she stroked his hair softly.

"Is it when you're really scared?" she asked.

"Yeah…I don't like some things, Mom. I don't like the boogieman." He told her, "He won't leave me alone, Mom. Will you catch him soon…because he bothers me in the day now."

"What?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "What do you mean in the day?"

"When Robert took me to the store, he was there, Mom, I could smell him and he touched me right here." He told her pointing to his shoulder that was now yellow and green from the bruise.

"Is that why you got sick on the way home today?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," he muttered sadly, "In Robert's car, but he didn't yell at me or spank me, Mom."

Olivia smiled, "I know he would never do that to you, can you tell me what happened?"

"The man at the store made me scared, and he made me not feel so good and I wet myself." He told her starting from the beginning, "Robert let me wear his jacket until Alex came to help us and she waited outside while I cleaned myself like you showed me." He informed her.

Olivia smiled noticing he was rubbing her abdomen to the same rhythm she stroked his hair, "What else happened, Honey?"

"My tummy started to hurt in the car, and I didn't feel so good, Mom, but I didn't want Robert to be upset with me, but I couldn't make my tummy better and I threw up in his car." He sniffled and wiped a tear away.

"Robert loves you so does Alex, if you would have asked them to stop they would have Baby, it's okay to ask, remember that okay?"

"Okay." He whispered, "I tried to give Robert my fifteen dollars from chess because they took me to a store and bought me new clothes so I could come home clean and Alex had to buy a shirt 'cause I ruined it when I got sick…I ruin a lot of things, huh?"

"We all have accidents, want to know something funny?"

"Yeah yeah." He grinned, "What? Tell me."

Olivia grinned at his eagerness; "I threw up all over your dad one time."

"Really?" Sam laughed, "Was Dad mad at you?"

"No…your Dad held me." She whispered.

"Alex held me." He told her, "That's how come her shirt got ruined…but they told me to keep my fifteen dollars because they were happy to buy me clothes…Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I told Robert I was sorry for wetting my pants and getting sick in his car."

"And what did he say?" she asked.

"He said he thought I was still a handsome, big boy, and he gave me a hug and you know what, Mom?"

"What? Tell me." She played eager.

He stretched his neck so his lips met her ear as he whispered, "I wasn't afraid of his hug."

She closed her eyes and smiled as she embraced him tighter, "I'm glad to hear that Sweet Pea."

He reclaimed his original position next to her and brought his legs up to his body, "Mom?" he whispered.

"Son?"

"Will you catch the boogieman for me?"

"Yes." She assured him.

"Will you kill him for me so he never comes back?"

She was a little shocked with the question,"Your dad and I are going to catch him very soon." She whispered to him, "Don't be afraid, but do me a great big favor okay?"

"Okay."

"If the boogieman ever comes around you in the day time, I want you to try and remember everything you can about him, just like you did last time, only this time, I want you to yell as loud as you can for help, just yell and yell okay, Honey? And if he tries to touch you, you do anything you can to get away, you kick, bite, yell, scrape, punch, anything okay?"

"Okay." He agreed, "Mom?"

"Yeah, baby."

"What was you're boy's name?"

Olivia's eyes misted immediately, it hadn't occurred to her that she'd never really told him, she lowered her head and kissed his softly, an motion she loved repeating with him, "His name is Isaac."

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"Good your still here, my office now." Cragen told Fin as he waked past him with Casey in tow.

"What are you doing here this late and on a Saturday?" Fin asked Casey.

"Cragen called, I came." She muttered still slightly irritated from the morning conversation with Cragen. Okay, she was pissed.

"I didn't do anything." Fin smacked his lips, "I've been working my butt off trying to get caught up on paperwork and-"

"Shut up." Cragen told him not in anger but in a simple need to get his attention, "Novak?"

"Captain." She arched a brow knowing that when he called her this evening she and Paul were finally sitting down to talk, she was ready to confront him on his attempt on his life.

"How's the warrant coming?"

"Haven't heard anything and to be honest, I don't think we're gonna get it, from what I hear this person has a lot of money and a successful career." Casey told him dispassionately. At this point she could care less what was happening, she was ready to pull a Kevin Costner and ride through the middle of a shoot out for the soul purpose of getting shot.

"Fine," Cragen nodded his head and looked at them both, "what I'm about to suggest is completely illegal and unethical and will get us all canned if we're found out, so with that said, your in or your out, your choice." He told them both.

Fin smiled, "I'm in."

Casey nodded her head, "I've got no strength to argue with so, I'm in."

"Alright," Cragen nodded his head again and looked at Casey, "How do you feel about black?"

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Olivia leaned in the corner of the kitchen, standing alone, in silence, knowing that Elliot was probably keeping himself occupied thinking she was still talking to Sam. She knew exactly why she didn't want to 'talk dirty' she'd known all the time, but was hoping against hope that it wasn't gonna plague her, that it wasn't gonna worm its way into their bed, yet here she was, scared to even go into the bedroom, knowing she'd pulled this one paper from the box. His box was always full, she could very well have just pulled another but that would be cheating. Her box? Well, her box was a little on the shallow side sometimes, but she never was disappointed with the results.

She loved this game that they played, she loved not knowing what he pulled and had planned for her. She loved that he was so eager to be with her, and while she had always felt eager and willing to be with him, she was hoping for some sort of asteroid to land on their home so she could say she lost the slip of paper and they would have to start over. Then again that would also probably be construed as cheating. Probably.

She found herself starring down at her bare feet rubbing the hem of the white shirt remembering their recent encounter in the dressing room, it was erotic, intense and passionate, it wasn't in the confines of their home and to her, that was new, and that was wild. She'd been so deep into her own thoughts that she didn't hear Elliot pad into the kitchen, instead she saw his hand rest protectively over her abdomen, she looked up not realizing she had started to cry.

"What is it?" he asked wiping her tear softly.

"Nothing." She smiled softly and kissed him playfully, "Let's see," She teased, "do you think you we're a good boy tonight?"

He kissed her teasingly, "I was…but, do you have any idea what seeing you in this shirt did to me tonight?"

"Is that why you ran off to play chess?"

"Partly, and I want noted for the record that Robert kicked the crap out of me in that game…Sam's being taught by the best." He smiled, "But,"

"But?" she smiled nuzzling his nose and pulling him closer to her.

"I have something for you, actually?"

"For me?" she asked in confusion, "Really?"

"Yep, come on." He pulled her by her hand and led her down the hall to the master bath, "I remember you saying you never had a bubble bath…I want to take one with you, and the water is warm." He grinned holding her close to him, "Want to?"

"Me naked with you in a bubble bath?" she beamed, "Absolutely."

"Good." He smiled behind her and pulled her shirt up over her head casting it to the floor as he kissed the back of her neck and unclasped her bra, "How do you get your skin so soft, Liv?" He asked her running his fingers down her back, caressing her hips until his hands met at the buckle of her pants.

"If I told you," she teased, "I'd have to kill ya."

He kissed her shoulder, "I'd die a happy man." He told her, "You look amazing in these jeans, Liv." He informed her unbuttoning them and sliding them down her body kissing along the trail of her spine as he lowered them, sucking softly at the base of her spine as her pants hit the floor. She moaned at the sensation and he continued to caress the spot with his mouth as he lowered her panties. He kissed her along her back as he held her hips while he stood to whisper in her ear, "Get in, get warm." He smiled helping her step into the tub and slip under the bubbles.

She grinned, "This is nice…thank you."

He smiled and pulled his shirt overhead, dropping his pants and boxers and stepping in the tub, watching her watch him.

Her grin intensified watching him lower himself on the opposite side of the tub careful not to hit the faucet, "Then again things just got better."

He found a comfortable spot and adjusted his legs so that they were on either side of her and her legs were resting comfortably over his thighs. "How are you feeling?" he asked, softly resting his hands on her legs under the water.

"This is great." She told him closing her eyes and exhaling, "I love being with you, you know that don't you, El?"

"Yeah." He smiled rubbing her side with his toe, "We're gonna make it Liv, you know that don't you?"

"I have no doubts." She told him keeping her eyes closed, enjoying his touch, enjoying the first bath she'd ever taken in her life. She smiled, "Elliot, want to know something stupid?"

"Sure."

"I don't remember having ever taken a bath."

"Really?" he laughed, "You serious?"

"Yep." She chuckled opening her eyes, "I didn't like waiting for the tub to fill, it meant I had to spend too much time in the bathroom and my mom would go nuts, especially if she had a date that night. Showers in college and the academy, and my apartment didn't have a tub, so I do believe, this is my first." She laughed.

"Well, then," he grinned, "You got to love these old tubs, they actually fit people in them, not like the new stuff."

"I love this tub…and the guy in it." She smiled and it dawned on her that it was do or die. She took in a breath and re positioned her foot dangerously close to the juncture of his thighs.

He arched a brow at her and smiled. She kept her foot just inches away and felt his fingertips tap the back of her calf under the water, "So you start riding the desk on Monday, huh?"

She looked at him intently edging her foot closer as she whispered, "I don't want to talk about work."

"What do you want to talk about?" his voice suddenly reduced to a nervous murmur.

She touched him with her foot, stroked him gently, "I was thinking about something, a little bit sweet, and a little bit dirty."

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"Hell no your not cutting my pony tail." Fin snapped at Cragen.

"Fin, this has to be believable to work, and you wearing a pony tail isn't believable." Cragen told him just as a very pissed off Casey walked into Cragen's office.

"Wow…corps bride." Fin raised a brow, "What the hell happened to your hair?"

Casey stared at Cragen, "You asked me how I felt about black?"

Cragen nodded.

"I hate black…that good enough for you?" she rolled her eyes and sat down, "Are you even sure this is gonna work?"

"Yep." He told her confidently, "Just as soon as Fin cut's his pony tail off."

Casey arched her brow and smirked, "That's not gonna happen."

"You're telling me." Fin quipped, "Look, I look good no matter what, I got a fine looking suit that brings out my eyes." He said halfway sarcastically, halfway truthfully, "I can do this, you worry about your bald ass head, getting us caught…you can see that thing a mile away...land a plane on it like it was a runway." he smacked his lips in irritation.

Cragen rolled his eyes and opened a box on his desk, "Courtesy of a friend in VICE." He muttered slipping on a toupee that actually didn't look half bad.

Casey whistled, "Wow, never thought I'd see you with hair Don."

"Shut up, Councilor." He told her retrieving the necessary supplies needed for a convincing mustache.

"Why are we doing this so late at night again?" Casey groaned wondering how Paul was doing right now. She wanted to be next to him, she wanted to feel him.

"I think it would be to our advantage, if we're telling them it's a surprise inspection what better time to surprise them than on the grave yard shift, and I'm a little concerned that some of the day staff is a little to close to us, we might get made."

"You mean like Hendrix?"

"Yep." Cragen shook his head making one last adjustment to his fake facial hair in a small mirror, "how do I look?"

"Sexy." Fin smacked his lips, "Can we get this over with? I have a feeling IAB is gonna get wind of this, and I'd like to get a running start on the unemployment line."

Casey stood to her feet, "I can read the headlines already, 'ADA goes Rogue with NYPD's finest."

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Elliot stared at her with a grin so ridiculous she couldn't help but grin herself, "What?" she chuckled,

"I take it you drew from my box?" he blushed.

She ran her toes along his length that was already swelling, "You're pretty astute." She whispered, still stalling for time having no idea how to start this encounter, what in the world was she supposed to say? She rubbed circles over the top of his foot with her fingertip as it rested next to her side as she watched him, watched his eyes dilate as her foot continued to harass his shaft under the water. He wasn't taking the hint to start something, to take the lead and let her follow, couldn't he at least do that much? "El?" she whispered.

"Yeah?" he breathed feeling her stroke him.

"This is…a little out of my area of familiarity…a little help please?" she chuckled. "I sort of don't know what you want…exactly."

He grinned at her innocence and sat up sliding her softly along the bottom of tub so her legs wrapped around his waist, "Just say what comes to mind."

She swallowed hard and kissed him, stalling for time to think of something, anything, "I love you." She whispered and then cringed inwardly, maybe that would be considered the 'little bit sweet', because it definitely wasn't the 'little bit dirty' she was shooting for. She shook her head and exhaled, "I'm sorry…that wasn't exactly dirty was it?"

He kissed and tongued her neck pulling her hips closer to him, feeling the water caress their bodies, "When I think about you," he whispered rubbing himself into her, "I get so hard that I have to have you."

She was shocked to feel her body respond to such a line, a line totally outside her own realm of thought, "I…like to feel you hard against me." She whispered. Okay, not exactly dirty, not exactly sweet. This was complicated.

Things seemed to come a little easier for Elliot, as he palmed the globe of her backside, "I love you're ass, Liv, I love to touch it and to run my tongue over it."

She wanted to sink into some far corner of the universe. Whoever said this was fun was full of crap. She wanted out of the tub, she wanted out of it now, but she also wanted to please him. She'd try anything once, she owed him that much, she wiggled herself closer to him, her chest against his, "I love the way my titties feel against you." She whispered and in an instant felt his erection jump under her. This wasn't her, she didn't like what's coming out of her mouth and she wasn't too hot on what he was telling her, but she wasn't sure why her body was betraying her mind and responding to this.

"Tell me how big I am, Liv." He whispered his request.

She kissed his mouth, another stall for time, as she started to notice that his touch was increasingly different, his hands weren't soft against her and she's wasn't sure she liked it, then again she wasn't sure it was his hands on her. Her senses are confused, but his body is telling her that what ever is happening between the two of them is pleasurable for him. His smell was different, she remembered it from somewhere but couldn't place it immediately. She knew the kiss has lasted too long and she was gonna have to say something, that was not her personality, "You make me hurt just looking at you." She told him with as much fake passion as she could muster.

She wanted out of the tub. Now.

He grinned against her and she swallowed her protest, knowing he was happy right now. There was something about the way his stubble rubbed against her cheek that she made her suddenly wish she'd jut told him she'd rather of passed on this particular fantasy. She felt the confusion grip her, felt the fear rip through her, something was wrong and she couldn't place it. The smell she smelt wasn't him, it wasn't their bathroom, she was confused and she was frustrated and, while all she wanted to do is make love to him in the ways they always had, her senses betrayed her in this moment…so she forced her self to submit.

He pulled back and smiled at her.

She plastered on the biggest, fakest grin she could muster as he tapped his erection at her entrance. She plead silently for him not to enter her because she knew her muscles weren't going to cooperate, this was stressing her out, her heart was beating and it wasn't with passion. He touched her and she didn't like it. "Liv," he grinned, "I want to slid into you, I love coming inside of you, I want to screw you right now."

She wanted out of the tub. Now.

She smiled again forcing herself to stop digging her nails into his flesh, as much as he was hurting her she didn't want to hurt him, because she knew that ultimately, he didn't even know that this was tearing her up. She knew that she was putting herself through this and that he wasn't responsible for this wasn't responsible for her heart being obliterated. "I want to make you scream my name, Olivia, I want to screw you senseless." He groaned against her flesh.

She wanted out of the tub. Now.

Her breathing became rapid, not from passion. His breath fell over her lips but, as much as her senses tried to label it as his, something was wrong, he didn't taste the same, he felt somehow, skinnier, less muscular and all she wanted was to get out of the tub.

"Liv," he whispered nipping at her jaw with lips that were suddenly chapped and dry. Lips that weren't her husband's, the confusion was making her angry, "Liv, I want you out of this tub and onto my dick."

"Get me the hell out of this tub." She begged, not out of intimacy, but because she was hoping and praying that their bed would be her safety net, a since of security and familiarity. This wasn't her, it wasn't them. But as her wet body was playfully pushed down on the comforter, she wanted back into the tub. This has brought a whole new meaning to out of the pot and into the frying pan. She found her self struggling to identify what in the hell was going on. Someone kept spinning the room, so she forced her self to close her eyes and will away the necessity to vomit. She just wanted to make love to her husband and this is going horribly wrong.

"Open your eyes."

She produced another fake smile and opened them.

"Are you okay?" he asked tenderly, standing at the foot of the bed.

"Yeah." She lied and grinned playfully. Fallacy ripped through her heart and she was suddenly finding herself panicked when she could have sworn his blue eyes turned brown right in front of her. She looked away. She wished Sam would come in to talk. She wished Casey would call to schedule lunch, she wished Alex would call to tell her she forgot something, she wished Cragen would call her into work, but then that would mean someone was hurt. She felt the ping of guilt add to her confusion.

She's perplexed, they'd made love still wet before, but for some reason it felt as though she were sweating, it felt like her pillow was wet with warmth when she knew it should be cool. She bit her lip as he took possession of her ankles and spread her legs so they pointed to each corner of the foot of the bed. She was exposed in a way she didn't like. Something was wrong. She could feel it. Her head is starting to pound as if she'd been hit.

She swallowed and smiled as he knelt on the bed and crawled over her. Her mind screamed at her that this wasn't her husband, wasn't the man she married on the beach, wasn't the man she'd just made fantastic love to, in a dressing room, only hours ago. He kissed her temple and laced his hands with hers. She arched into him not out of intimacy but out of desperation for him to protect her, from what ever was happening to her, because she sure as hell didn't understand it.

His breath seeped into her hair but she couldn't recognize it as the soft breath of her lover, its reminiscent of something she couldn't identify, it was so thick and slimy that she could have sworn it was her own blood. She is panicked but she's committed to playing her façade to a tee. She gasped feeling him spread her arms out to her side and then toward the corners of the bed.

Elliot sat back on his heels starring at her as she lay completely vulnerable in front of him. To him this is sexy, to her, it's atrocious. He's made her vulnerable, her breast exposed without the cover of his body, the cradle of her hips, her abdomen, exposed for something far more worse, fare more heinous.

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Casey Novak adjusted her dress jacket and held her briefcase in her hand, "Well, Captain, Fin, it's been nice working with you." She exhaled and walked into the hospital flanked by Fin in a stellar suit and Cragen who looked fifteen years younger with hair. She approached the counter of the hospital and smiled, "Hello, I'm Kristin Piet federal agent for New York OSHA." She told the young nurse, "We received a complaint of a work related injury that resulted in loss time, as you know we have to respond within twenty four hours." Casey informed her playing he role perfectly as Fin and Cragen stayed behind her pretending to be important people.

"Your identification please?" The nurse asked.

Casey swallowed and smiled producing the counterfeit badge, "I'll be checking to make sure everything was accurately completed on this date." She said sliding fake paperwork that looked impressively real over to the nurse, "Mr. Clayton here," she said motioning to Fin, "Will need to speak to your security team, I'll be reviewing your paperwork and Mr. Tallus," she pointed to Cragen, "Will take a general look around and take note of any thing that may have prevented or caused the injury."

"What injury are we talking about?" The nurse asked.

Casey smiled and without skipping a beat said, "I'm sorry, Miss, I can't pass that information to you, and I'll need to start my investigation now so that it's done in a timely manner, I'm sure you understand."

"Very well." She smiled and informed Fin where the security teams office was while Cragen simply walked away and Casey smiled at the nurse.

"May I see your log in sheet for the specified date?"

"Absolutely." The nurse smiled and within a couple of stroked of the keyboard provided Casey with three pages, somewhere within them contained the boogieman.

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Olivia resisted the urge to flee from the bed, resisted the urge to push Elliot away, but it all came rushing back to her, she wasn't in her home safe with her husband, she was at her apartment, tied to the corners of her own bed. She fought it, fought the vision, struggled with the reality and just when she thought she could get through this and provide him with this one thing, he covered her body with his, tapped her entrance with his erection and palmed her breast, his light touch made excruciating with her sensitive breasts.

He lowered his lips to her ear, his breath still against her flesh, still not her husband, "Olivia, you feel so good I can have you all night."

And that was her undoing, in a split second she looked up and saw Oliver covering her body, breathing on her, touching her and kissing her. Raping her.

"Get off." She suddenly squirmed under him.

"Liv?"

"Get off of me, now!" she screeched and pushed up hard against his chest drawing her knees up to her chest and rolling to her side.

"Olivia?" He called to her softly.

"Don't touch me." She spat looking at him with a look of total horror and confusion as she slid her naked body off of the bed and frantically searched for fabric, anything to cover herself.

Elliot furrowed his brow, and slowly closed the gap between them, "Liv, it's me, El." He whispered as she finally picked up a shirt and pulled it over her torso. "Liv?"

She walked backwards, suddenly uncomfortable with his proximity, "Stop!" She ordered him with her hand up, palm exposed in the air as she searched the room for jeans and couldn't find them. She kept herself close to the wall as she watched him watch her in utter confusion. She finally made her way to the bathroom, to that damn bathtub and grabbed her jeans.

"Olivia?" he spoke to her again approaching her slowly, "What is it Liv? Talk to me."

She spun around and pushed him away, "Get your hands off of me, Oliver." She barked and ran down the hall.

Realization sat in for Elliot at the mention of her brother's name. "Liv!" he yelled for her as he looked here and there for boxers. "Liv! Wait! We need to talk!" he pleaded, as he finally found boxers, he started out of the room just as he heard the front door close, her voice soothing Sam as she made her way down the steps. He ran outside, "Olivia!" he yelled again seeing her lay Sam down in the back seat of the mustang. Her eyes on him the whole time as though he may try to hurt them. She threw the drivers seat back and jumped in the front seat, locking the door just as he approached.

"Liv!" he palmed the window, "Liv, we have to talk, it's okay, I'm sorry, I didn't realize!" he pleaded, "Liv!"

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"Someone's at the door." Robert muttered in his sleep.

"That's impossible." Alex groaned, "It's practically the middle of the night."

He pulled her closer, and nuzzled into her neck as the knocking continued, "Nope, someone is definitely at the door."

"Maybe they'll go away." Alex smiled.

"I'll go see who it is." He told her kissing her softly on the cheek and slipping out of the bed.

The knocking continued and soon the phone rang, "What the hell?" Robert muttered, "I'm coming." He hollered to the door and the ringing stopped immediately. He exhaled and leaned his forehead against the door, "Who is it?" He asked trying to clear his groggy throat. When there was no response he assumed the person left but decided he'd open the door just in case.

"Olivia?" He frowned, "What happened?" He asked noticing her obvious state of disarray, surely this wasn't the same woman he'd seen only hours ago. He reached out and took a sleeping Sam out of her arms, as she remained silent. Tears streaking her face. "Come in." he told her worriedly. "I'll get Al." he assured her, "Everything is gonna be okay." He told her motioning for her to take a seat on the couch. She sat slowly, a look of pure confusion and fear on her face.

"Alex!" he spoke hastily as he placed Sam in the bed and pulled the covers over him, "Al, wake up, now." Told her shaking her.

"What?" she grumbled, "I'm sleeping."

"Olivia is here."

Alex shot up in the bed and looked in confusion as Sam lay next to her, "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't know…but whatever it is, it's bad." He informed her tossing her robe to her, "She really needs you."

Alex slung the robe over her camisole and flannel pants unconcerned with rather or not it was tied. Robert sat in the chair in the corner of the room and watched the little boy sleep oblivious to what was happening.

"Olivia?" Alex called to her as she stepped out in to the living room, "Oh, no, what happened?"

Olivia swallowed and shook her head trying to hold back tears, "I didn't know where else to go." She whispered.

"You're safe here." Alex assured her sitting next to her and draping her arm around her, "What happened?"

"Oliver." She whispered and scrubbed her hands over her face, "Oliver happened."

Alex closed her eyes, already knowing what happened, "Does this have anything to do with what we discussed this evening?"

Olivia broke instantly and leaned on her friend sobbing, "I'm not sure what happened."

"Cry." Alex encouraged her, "Go ahead and get it out."

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing." Alex assured her, a sisterly kiss placed on her head, "Nothing."

Olivia pulled back and wiped her tears, giving an embarrassed smile she flopped her head back against the couch and closed her eyes, "One minute we're in the tub and I'm nervous, but not necessarily minding and then all of a sudden it was like my entire body was protesting and the next thing I know it's Oliver and not Elliot." She exhaled puffing out her cheeks, "Needless to say I freaked out."

"Did you talk to him before hand?"

"No…I thought I could handle it." She whispered, "I don't know what to do."

"Okay." Alex smiled softly, "Sam is sleeping in our room, go ahead and slip in with him, Robert and I will sleep in the spare room."

"I don't know what to do." Olivia whispered again, "I love my husband and I couldn't even make a sacrifice for him." She started to cry again.

"I'll be right back." Alex assured her leaving to the kitchen and returning moments later with a box of Kleenex and a mug of tea. "Here." She smiled, "I put crème in it." She informed her as she took it. "I'm listening." Alex told her as she sat down next to her.

"Elliot is gonna hate me." She whispered, "I think I really messed up."

"I messed up today." Alex informed her.

"What?" Olivia shook her head.

"Yep, I think I yelled at Robert about his socks not being in the hamper, one thing led to another and I may have called him a sonovabitch." She shrugged.

"You may have?" Olivia smirked through her tears.

"Alright, I did…I messed up…we talked about it, he forgave me, we're good." She smiled and touched her hand to Olivia's leg, "Marriage isn't about one person messing up and the other person sticking it to them, it's about helping the other person up when they fell flat on their face."

"I put that man through hell." Olivia let out a bitter chuckle, "I'm gonna kill him before he's fifty."

"Oliv-" Before Alex could get out another encouragement there was a knock at the door. Both women furrowed their brows.

"How did he know?" Olivia whispered.

"He knows you." Alex smiled and walked to answer the door, opening it slowly and smiling compassionately at the man on the other side, tear stained cheeks, shaking body, no socks, "Hey."

Elliot swallowed hard and choked back his emotion, "My wife? Son?"

"Both here." Alex assured him, "Sam is asleep, Olivia is in the front room…she's upset."

"Can I see her please?"

"If you promise to listen to her and try to see where she's coming from, sure."

"Alex," Elliot exhaled, "I think I know what happened, I don't blame her, I just want to see her and make sure she's okay." He smiled softly almost pleadingly, "I promise I won't say anything stupid."

Alex nodded her head and opened the door for him to come in, "She's in the living room, Sam is in our room, we'll be in the spare, take as much time as you need, stay over if you'd like…and Elliot?"

"Yeah?" he whispered looking at Alex then the direction of his wife and back to Alex again.

"Be gentle."

He shook his head in agreement and turned back to Olivia.

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"Hi," Fin smiled through his fake reading glasses, "I'm Mr. Clayton from New York OSHA, here to do an inspection of your tapes for the specified date," He told him handing them a copy of paperwork Casey had given the nurse, "The desk nurse should have called and let you know."

"Yes sir." The eager to please security guard smiled. Ah the smell of a rent a cop, "We pulled the tape for you anything specific your looking for?"

"A copy?" Fin smiled.

"Sorry sir, we can't copy it without written approval but I can let you view the tape and print it as still photos, if you'd like."

"Alright, that sounds good, I think my higher echelon will let that count." Fin grinned, "Just tell me how to print and I'll take a few random pictures and be on my way."

"Sure thing." The guard nodded and started to explain to Fin how to advance frame-by-frame, "I'll be in the other room, if you need me, holler."

"Will do, you make our job easier, kudos." Fin smiled at his own remark and then got down to business as soon as the guard left.

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"Excuse me!" A man called out forcing Captain Cragen to stop dead in his tracks.

"May I help you?" Cragen asked turning around and presenting his hand for a shake.

"Yes," The man ignored the gesture and crossed his arms over his chest, "can I see some I.D. please?"

"Certainly," Cragen smiled, "I'm Christopher Tallus of New York OSHA."

"So the nurse says…I'm Doctor Phillips, chief resident for this shift and we haven't had a loss time accident." He informed him eyeing him suspiciously, "Which makes me wonder why you're here."

Cragen smiled, "New York OSHA can make surprise inspections according to state law."

The doctor looked at his I.D. and reached into his pocket for his cell phone, "What's your supervisor's name? I'll have to verify this." The doctor informed him. Cragen looked to his left and then to his right, there was one camera and he needed to wait until it passed him.

"The name please?" the doctor was growing irritated.

Cragen watched the camera rotate, "Mr. Watchdafist."

"Excuse me?"

The camera wasn't recording him, he had to move now, he smiled, "Watchdafist," he repeated and thin punched him square in the face catching him before he fell and dragging him into a nearby waiting room. He pulled the transmitter out of his cuff, "Abort! Abort!" He whispered anxiously and then walked out waiting for the camera to make another pass and then disappearing to exit the hospital. He negotiated the steps quickly, removed his toupee and tossed it in the trash along with the fake facial hair and made his way to his vehicle driving off as calmly as possible heading to a destination they'd agreed upon.

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Fin quickly looked around knowing that the security guards would be the first to get the message that something was up. He printed a five-minute window hoping that the time given was accurate enough to catch something; he pulled the copies off of the printer and folded them tightly before shoving them deep in his pockets. He turned, waved good by to the guard behind the window and calmly departed, removing the glasses as he left and depositing them in his jacket pocket which came off was turned inside out and draped over his forearm.

He turned the corner, loosened his tie cramming it into his other pocket and rolling the sleeves of his shirt up as he moved casually, yet quickly through the halls, pulling his dress shirt out of his pants pulling the rubber band out of his pony tail letting the hair hall to his shoulders in an effort to disguise him, no matter how slightly. He lowered his head and walked out playing the part of a grieving man leaving the hospital and walking to his car heading for a destination.

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"I'd like a copy of this file and this file for random viewing." Casey informed the nurse knowing she was fighting the clock but also knowing she needed the damn information.

"It'll just take a second to print." The nurse informed her.

Casey smiled nervously and waited knowing she shouldn't be. When the nurse answered a bed call and walked away Casey felt as though she may have a heart attack. And just when she thought she might have it under control the elevator door opened on the opposite side of the hall and a doctor holding his nose stumbled out.

Casey stepped behind the desk of the nurse's station and out of sheer desperation grabbed a white coat hanging on the back of a chair, according to the name tag it belonged to a nurse practitioner. She searched around and grabbed a stethoscope draping it over her neck and pulling the information that had finally finished printing. The footsteps were closer. She took the briefcase in her arms shielding it with her body and turned in the opposite direction as she walked down the hall. She was almost to the end of the hall when she heard him.

"Nurse!" He called in pain, "Nurse!" he called again.

Casey walked faster panicking and picturing herself in prison with Connie The Coochie Con, and as soon as she turned the corner she bolted, pulling the pins from her hair letting the jet black locks fall to her shoulders, she ran down the stairs pulling off her jacket and revealing a red shirt underneath as she finally made it to the lower level. She quickly crammed the clothing into the briefcase and shoved the paperwork down her slacks tucked into her underwear as she forced herself to walk casually out of the hospital; she was just at the door when she was stopped.

"Excuse me?" A young orderly stepped up to her, "You're Doctor Spencer aren't you? They paged you."

Casey maintained in spite of those visions behind bars, "No, I'm sorry, I'm Doctor Kavon, how can I help you?"

"Um, well they paged Spencer for me, I was suppose to meet her here, I have a patient on level one complaining of bowel pain." He informed her, "It's been over thirty minutes and she hasn't shown.

"Okay," Casey smiled, "I'll put in an order to the pharmacy from my cell, my…son is sick, I have to get home," she told him flying by the seat of her pants and breaking out in a cold sweat when she heard an announcement that the hospital was going on lock down, "I have to go before I get stuck here." She smiled, "Tell her I'll put her in for a suppository." She said over her shoulder.

"Hey thanks." The orderly called back.

Casey smiled, yelling back as the doors closed, "Don't mention it."

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Elliot walked softly into the living room seeing that Olivia was already standing nervously in the middle of the room. He watched her ring her hands and eventually opt to put them in her back pockets as she bowed her head in shame and walked to him, his arms reaching for her before she even got there.

She rested her forehead on his shoulder and cried, "I'm sorry." She sniffled, "I'm so sorry, Elliot."

"No." He whispered wrapping his arms around her, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry I didn't see that that would trigger something, I'm so sorry Olivia, never will we ever do that again." He assure her, "I'm a jerk for missing it, I'm an idiot for not seeing a difference in you're response, I'm so sorry." He sniffled, "Please forgive me."

She wrapped her arms around his waist, "I'm sorry I did this to you." She whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" He furrowed his brow looking at her, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm sorry I just wasn't upfront with you…I ended up making this really bad." She confessed, "I feel like crap, and from the look on your face, you can't feel any better."

"I feel like crap." He admitted, "I'm sorry, Liv." He told her pushing her hair behind her ear, "Can you tell me what happened?"

She shook her head not wanting to talk about it, not wanting to tell him that she just wanted to make love to him, to feel him, she didn't need the added linguistics, and she doesn't ever want, 'a little bit dirty' factored into their love making. She closed her eyes, framed his face with her hands and refused to speak, hoping that she would wake up and this would be a horrible dream. But when she felt a tender kiss, with lips that were his and breath that was sweet, she knew it had happened and she had a lot of explaining to do, "This is my fault." She whispered.

"What? No. I refuse to accept that." He told her soothing her tense body until her breathing steadied again, "Can I ask you something Liv? It might hurt, but I need you to be honest, so we can get through this."

She sniffled and looked up at him, "Anything."

"Do you enjoy making love to me? Or is it always like this and you just don't tell me?" He asked with pain and concern clearly written across his face.

Her heart broke for him, it broke because she knew she'd done this to him, put him in a position that made him question himself when she should have just been honest with him, "Elliot." She whispered framing his face in her slender hands and locking her pooling eyes with his own, "I love making love to you." She assured him, "I enjoy feeling you inside of me, I love your body over me, I love it when you kiss me, but…" her voice died as she lowered her hands and head.

"But what?" he whispered drawing her back into the conversation.

"Elliot," She shook her head, "I can't do the whole, 'dirty lover' thing, it bothers me, a lot actually." She confessed raising her head but looking away from him.

He brought her face back to look at him, and smiled softly, "Then we don't do it ever again." He informed her, "doesn't bother me, I don't need that, I need you and whatever it is you want is what we'll do."

"I want to be normal." She scoffed looking away, "And it's never gonna happen is it?"

"Who says your not normal?" he asked motioning for her to sit with him to which she complied finding it odd that just the other day it was Casey and Paul in her home hashing out their problems and here she and Elliot were in Robert and Alex's home hashing out their own.

"I think tonight said it loud and clear, don't you?" she exhaled bitterly.

He rested his hand on her thigh tentatively until she knew she was going to accept the touch, "I think it said I need to be a little more careful what I put on those papers…if you even want to keep the box. Do you?" He asked, "I'm willing to give it up if you are." He assured her.

"No." She smiled covering his hand with hers "No, I enjoy our times together, it was just that…" her voice trailed off and she looked away.

He turned her to face him again, "There's no reason to turn away from me in shame."

Her tears fell uncontrollably, "It's exactly what he did to me." She whispered.

"What? Who?" he asked in confusion.

She closed her eyes producing a fresh trail of moisture, "Oliver."

He nodded softly, "I thought that was why you were scared. What did I do to trigger it? Was it the way I touched you?" he asked tenderly, "Tell me and I won't do it again."

She shook her head no, "It was everything…slowly…combined, but it was the talk that started it I didn't like it, it was…humiliating." She whispered trying to bow her head and finding that he wouldn't let her, instead he cupped her face and encouraged her to keep looking at him.

Elliot nodded in understanding; "He said things to you…other than forcing you to call him Daddy, didn't he?"

She closed her eyes and nodded in affirmation, "He…he tied me up like a human 'X'." she whispered.

"Exactly how I had you." He shook his head and wanted to shoot himself right there, "Can I hug you?"

"Please?" she whispered leaning into him and feeling gentle hands, her husband's hands caress her and hold her safely within, "I thought I could get through it."

"What was the breaking point, Liv?" Not that there should have been, he should have noticed her reluctance right away.

"When Oliver was…on top of me," she whispered burring her face deeper into his body, "He told me that…I was so good, he could have me all night."

"Which is exactly what I said." He exhaled, "Liv, I'm sorry Baby, I'm so sorry, please forgive me for not seeing it, for not catching it, for being selfish and stupid."

She smiled softly, "It's okay, this is part my fault too," she whispered and looked up at him, "But, as per our agreement," she teased through her tears, "I tried it once, and I'd rather not again."

"You don't ever have to worry about it." He assured her, "But can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure." She sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"You've got to tell me when your apprehensive about something, you've got to tell me when you're not sure or comfortable, otherwise, I'm a clueless idiot." His voice broke as he tangled his fingers in her hair, "I don't want to hurt you Liv." He whispered pulling her head to rest against his, "Especially not in this way, not with this."

She rested against him, took in his words, "I'm sorry I put you in this position, El."

"Can you tell me why you didn't come to me?"

"I..I wanted to give you what you wanted, I wanted to please you, and I thought I could do it."

"Liv, you please me everyday that you choose to stay with me, you please me when you wait for my A.A. meetings to end, you please me when you eat dinner with me and our son, you please me when you touch me and let me hold you…making love to you is just awesome icing, I don't need anything else, and if there are some things that don't do it for you ,then it's out, no questions asked." He assured her.

She exhaled, "Elliot…do you sometimes wish you married someone a little more…well, _different_ than me."

"Absolutely not! And I'm insulted you asked me that, Liv." He told her with a small smile, "I love you, only you, you're the only one I want to wake up to."

"I know you love me, but I'm saying…in the bedroom, do you wish you had someone else?"

He rested his forehead against hers again a gentle push and give, "I wish I'll always have you…it's just you Liv, no one else can come close to making me feel like you do. No One." Elliot grinned, "No one beats Olivia. No One."

She rolled her eyes at the mockery of the commercial, and smiled softly, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask a favor?" She needs this, not for some sort of satisfaction or sexual need, but she needs to convince her mind and her senses of his touch again, of what he feels like, she needs Elliot to get rid of Oliver.

"Yeah."

"Can you kiss me ple-"

Before she could finish, his lips were over hers, soft and soothing, they were her husbands, his fingertips at her jaw, gentle and caressing as he stroked her tongue gently with his and pulled away not wanting to over load her senses, not now, "Come home, Liv."

She rested her head on his shoulder, "Don't give up on me, please?"

"Never." He assured her, "Never…come home?"

She pulled back and smiled softly, "Can you forgive me?"

"You didn't do anything, but yeah, I forgive you…please come home." He asked again.

"Elliot?"

"Liv?"

"I want to go home."

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"Sam is asleep, he was a little curious about being woken up in the middle of the night, but I told him, we just had some things to take care of, he seems to accept that." Elliot assured Olivia.

"I'm really sorry about tonight Elliot." She whispered from the couch.

"No more apologizing." He smiled and offered his hand to help her off of the couch, "Tomorrow is another day, we'll laugh, we'll fall, we'll disagree, but we'll come out on top." He assured her, a tender kiss placed on the corner of her mouth. "We always come out on top, Liv," he whispered over her. "Come on, let's get some rest."

She smiled and followed him to the back of the house, back into their room where he pulled her into a hug standing at the foot of the bed. He opened his eyes over her shoulder as she leaned into him. He looked at the photos that hung on their walls and smiled, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Olivia…just in case you didn't know that."

She grinned against his chest as he stroked her back gently, "Thank you." She whispered.

"Pajama's?" he asked sounding more upbeat.

"Please." She nodded her head and stared at the bed as he rummaged through the room looking for her shirt and flannels. She smiled as he handed her favorite shirt, the one that was actually his, "Thank you." She murmured.

He smiled, caressed her cheek gently, "I just want you happy…that's all." He confessed placing an affectionate kiss on her forehead and handing her a pair of flannels. They changed in a comfortable silence that she was thankful they still possessed. She smiled at him clothed in his shirt and flannels that hung precariously on his hips. "Hop in." he told her flipping the comforter back. He furrowed his brow at her hesitation.

"Hey," He smiled taking hold of her hand as it hung at her side, "we don't have to do anything tonight. When you're ready, you'll let me know and we'll go from there." He assured her.

"Thanks." She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyebrow with the nail of her thumb, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we…can we change the sheets please? Maybe the comforter too?"

He brought the back of her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, "Absolutely, how about you get the sheets and the black comforter and I'll strip the bed."

She exhaled, a small smiled playing on her lips before a worry took over her features, "El? You know this wasn't about you right? You know I love you right? You know I love making love to you?"

"I know that tonight you were scared…and that's okay, we'll start again tomorrow, and yes, I know that I'm not the one that hurt you that day, I know you love me and you love being with me." He assured her and exhaled, "I'll get started on the bed."

Olivia smiled faintly and walked out of the room to retrieve the bedding, opting for the black down comforter that came from his apartment, and the black sheets that went with it. She'd returned to the room to see that Elliot had already stripped the bed. He grinned at her, a look of pure innocence in the midst of blamelessness.

They spread the fitted sheet over the bed and smoothened out the top sheets, her hospital corners as tight as his military tucks. He held the comforter from one side as she held it from the other. He pulled up and then down in an effort to cover as much as possible but it slipped out of her hands. When it finally settled and he saw the look on her face he panicked not knowing if something else had triggered her, not knowing if she would be running again. "Liv?"

She stared at nothing, eyes narrowed as she brought her hands to her belly. He closed the gap between the two of them, "Liv? What is it?"

"Shh." She smiled softly keeping one on her abdomen and taking his hand into her free one, placing it on her belly, "Feel." She whispered and smiled looking at him as his face registered absolute happiness when one of the babies moved.

"Wow." He grinned resting his other hand on her belly, "Wow…I wonder which one is moving around in there?"

"I don't know." She smiled and felt elsewhere on her abdomen, "Here…feel." She told him and laughed softly, "I think they're both moving."

He beamed and laughed and embraced her tightly, "I love you, Liv, I love you so much."

She wrapped her arms around him tightly, kissed his neck quietly and smiled as his hand caressed her abdomen again, "I love you too."

When he finally released her with a lingering kiss on the corner of her mouth he led her back to the bed, "It's really late…or early depending how you look at it, let's get you rested up, huh?"

She smiled in appreciation as he held the cover back so she could slide in and get situated. He drew the comforter over her body and kissed her tenderly on the mouth separating to look at her, "Tonight was just a speed bump Liv…that's all."

She reached up and touched his face, "Thank you."

He winked at her and playfully jumped over her, bouncing on the mattress and eventually finding his body spooned with hers, his hands covering his children in the hopes of feeling them one more time. He held her, content to do only that, while he occasionally placed an adoring kiss on her shoulder, listening intently until her breathing leveled. He gave her another five minutes and then slowly, and delicately slid out from the covers and padded back to the office.

He made his way to the bookcase, pulled the first three books off of the second shelf and reached back to find the book he was in search for. It was tattered, dog-eared and underlined in enough colors that a leprechaun could be searching for gold near by. He sat at his chair, leaned back and opened the book that he studied relentlessly in an effort to help in an area so intimate he felt it was his duty to find a way, any way, for her to release her inhibitions. He propped up his feet and looked up at the picture of him and Olivia nuzzling their noses together, two of the brightest grins imaginable. She was beautiful. He was blessed.

He took a deep breath and opened the book for what must have been the hundredth time, an action he would keep doing until he helped free her.


	15. Chapter 15 The Secret To A Good Hustle

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 15: The Secret To A Good Hustle

A/N: So sorry all, I've been having some personal stuff floating around and I haven't been exactly motivated to write this story, but alas, after laying in bed moping around for the past several days, I have emerged from my cocoon to write another chapter. LOL please forgive!

This is sort of a filler chapter but important for Olivia and Elliot nonetheless I suppose.

"Did you have fun Sam?" Elliot asked extending his hand and helping the little boy out of the mustang.

"Yeah." He responded softly with furrowed brows before muttering more, "Church is always fun, but…" he scratched his head and felt for Elliot's arm.

"But what?" Elliot asked already knowing the question that was coming.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't Mom come with us? Is she upset with me?"

Elliot smiled softly at the boy's misunderstanding and kneeled in front of him, "Sam, you're mom had a rough night last night and she didn't sleep much at all, that was the only reason I didn't wake her up to come with us, but I left her a note and I promise you with a pinky swear that she isn't upset with you at all." He told him, and then hooked his pinky finger with Sam's, "Believe me?"

Sam smiled, "You're my Daddy, I love you." The little boy told him before leaning into him and resting his head on his shoulder.

After several seconds Elliot pulled him away softly, "I have a big surprise for you Sam."

"Nail gun?" Sam grinned, "Pleeeease?" He whined.

"No," Elliot laughed, "You're mother would kill me."

"NO!" Sam furrowed his brows and grabbed his shoulders, "No! Mom likes you!"

Elliot grinned, "Son, it's a saying, I know you're mom loves me, but believe me when I tell you, if she catches us men, playing with that nail gun again, we'll both be grounded for life."

"Life?" Sam pressed his lips together in thought, "That's a long time."

"Which is why, the nail gun can't happen, and besides, what I got for you is much, much better."

"Really?"

"Yep…I called Christoff while you were in your Sunday school class."

"Christoff!" Sam grinned framing Elliot's face with his hands, "He's my friend."

"I know he is," Elliot laughed, "Which is why, he wants to take you to lunch today and maybe go see Hookwinked…if you want to go, it's u-"

"Yes! Can I? _It's Hoodwinked_! It's important! Please? "

"Absolutely, I have to talk to you're mom first, you'll be alone with him like you were with Robert, are you cool with that?"

Sam smiled, "I'm cool."

"Well, then, we better get you ready."

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Elliot smiled seeing Olivia sleeping peacefully, in almost the exact same position he'd left her in. He found it funny that when she finally did find deep sleep, she didn't so much as move. He didn't need to look on her nightstand to notice she hadn't read his note that he left for her, heck, the only thing different about the way he left her was that she had his pillow next to her and a small curl of her lips.

He padded to her softly and placed a lingering kiss on her cheek, a delicate hand on her waist, "Wake up gorgeous." He whispered softly in her ear, smiling as she murmured something in her sleep. He tipped her chin back to him and kissed her lips, sipping softly from her bottom lip and chuckling as her hands caressed his face, "Thought that might get you to wake up." He muttered over her mouth then tried to stand only to see that she wasn't having any part of it.

She pulled him back to her in silence, eyes still closed as she kissed him delicately before releasing and curling back into the fetal position, "Can we play hookie from church? I think God will understand." She whispered raising her hand to rest on his hips and frowning, "You're already dressed?"

Elliot sat on the edge of the bed and spoke softly, with his hand on her back, "What if I already told you that you played hookie."

She opened one eye instantly, the other covered by the softness of her pillow, "What?"

"You played hookie," he grinned, "If fact, it seems as though you slept right through church."

She furrowed her brow and tried to think, "El? What time is it?"

"One thirty in the afternoon."

She bolted straight up in the bed, "Oh no!" She flipped back the covers, "Elliot! Why didn't you wake me up? I have so much stuff I have to do. Where's Sam? Oh, no, I'm so behind on the house cleani-" his lips cut her off gently and lowered her back onto her pillow. He separated from her with a smiled and pulled the comforter over her.

"You needed you're rest." He whispered, "You needed you're rest without me bothering you and without us guys…you just needed to be."

She smiled softly placing her fingers at his lips, "Thank you, Elliot."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah." She smiled, "Actually I did."

"Olivia." he whispered softly, brushing her bed head out of her face, "I love you."

She smiled as soft as he spoke and reached for him, pulling him gently to her with his tie and kissing him tenderly on the corner of his mouth, "Rest with me? Just for a few minutes?"

"Sure." He smiled, "Scoot." He nodded and slipped in next to her still in his suit.

"Was Sam good for you? Did he enjoy himself?" she asked nuzzling into his chest and resting her hand on his ribs.

"Yeah, he was a little nervous about leaving you here, but I managed to convince him." He assured her, "I have a surprise for you today."

"Really?" Olivia grinned, "Why?"

"Why?" He furrowed his brow and offered a grin, "Do I need a reason to surprise my wife, with a night out, just the two of us?"

She jumped up, kneeling on her knees next to him, a genuine grin plastered on her face, "Serious?"

"As a facial fracture." He smiled pointing to the now pink scar on his cheek.

"What about Sam?"

"Well, I told him I'd talk to you about it."

"I think we need to give Alex and Robert a rest from sitting, I don't want them to think we're taking advantage of them." She informed him.

"I knew you would feel that way, and I didn't want Sam to think we we're pawning him off, so I called Christoff and apparently, Christoff would absolutely love to spend the rest of the day with Sam."

Olivia smiled, "Sam's gonna love that."

"So he can go?" Elliot grinned, "We can go?"

"Did he finish his chores and homework?"

"Yep…checked it myself, although you might want to check his science, that is some funky crap." Elliot laughed.

"I'll look at it." She smiled, "It's fine with me, I think he's gonna have fun, what's Christoff's plan?"

"Lunch and Hoodwinked."

"Hoodwinked?" She laughed, "What does that little boy see in that movie?"

"I don't know, but he laughs his butt off the whole time." Elliot grinned.

"Oh." Her smile dissipated.

"Oh?"

"Well, have you noticed he hasn't asked _me_ to take him?" she said softly.

"Ah, I wouldn't worry about it Liv, he's a kid."

She rolled her eyes and smiled sheepishly, "You're right…hey El?"

"Yeah?"

"Who did your tie?" she grinned, "You had to have you're eight year old son tie it didn't you?" she teased.

He shrugged, hoping she couldn't see his embarrassment, "Kid ties a mean knot."

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"Well," Paul laughed as Casey stumbled into the front room, "Looks like someone slapped you awake, what's the story morning glory?"

"Shut up." She muttered with a small smile, "Coffee?"

"It's like two O'clock in the afternoon, that coffee is probably lethal by now." He assured her standing to his feet and walking to her, "You came home really late last night."

"It wasn't late." She quipped in irritation, "Where's Addison?"

"Napping." He assured her, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She muttered looking her and there and finally slamming a cupboard in frustration, "Where the hell is my red sox mug?"

Paul narrowed his eyes at her, sized up the fact that something was definitely wrong as he retrieved her coffee cup from the dishwasher. "Here ya go." He whispered handing it to her and placing his palm at the small of her back only to have her shrug away.

"Don't touch me." He hissed pushing the mug away and walking away from him.

"What's wrong Casey?" Paul asked again closing some of the gap between them and speaking softly, "Come on, you're hair is black, you look exhausted and you came home at two O'clock in the morning."

She eyed him in anger, "What the hell are you accusing me of? An affair?" She furrowed her brow, "Are we back to this again?"

He stared at her in confusion, "What? No! Casey, I'm not accusing I-"

"What? You're _asking_ if I had an affair?" she asked incredulously, "Yeah," She agreed with him just to spite him, "Yeah, Paul, I'm having an affair…so I guess that means we're done, right?" she asked sarcastically as she started to yell, "Is that what you wanted to hear? That I'm such a bad friend and wife, that I'm a bad mom?" She felt the sting of her own tears, and she knew that if she'd touched his chest she'd know his heart wasn't beating. Her voice broke, "That I'm loosing everything again…and I can't figure out how to get it back."

Paul reached out and brought her close to him, wiping her tears with his knuckle and whispering, "I know you're not having an affair."

She blinked the moisture from her eyes, just the words, just the thought of such an action, killing her, "Pau-"

"I know something is very wrong right now, and I know that when I disappeared it didn't help you at all, but…this isn't about us is it? What are you loosing right now Case? What is it that has you this wound up?" he asked kissing her forehead softly, "Tell me…I'll listen."

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"Excuse me?" a deep voice came from the bullpen foyer, "I'm looking for a Detective Tutuola."

"Right here." Fin called out covering the phone with his hand and motioning him to come over to his desk as he finished taking notes from the phone call and eventually replaced the phone to its cradle, "How can I help you?"

"I'm Nozzie Carlsbad, from the lab."

"Nozzie?" Fin furrowed his brow, "Who does that to their kid?"

"Maybe the same type of person that named you Odafin?" The middle aged and slightly irritated man suggested.

Fin smacked his lips in irritation, "You got something you need to tell me, or do you just enjoy wasting my time?"

"Your working on a Sunday? Must have a big case load."

"Na," Fin shook his head, "The Xbox is broke, what do you want?"

Nozzie turned around and pointed to an evidence box at the door, "Remember that partial plate you wanted?"

"Yeah."

"Your perp is in there somewhere." Nozzie smiled, "Only a couple thousand hits, I'm sure you'll stay busy, so I'll stop wasting your time." He said smugly and walked away.

"Hey Nozzie!" Fin called out.

"Yes?"

"You're name is still jacked."

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"This is nice." Olivia smiled leaning against Elliot's chest as they watched people mingle in Central Park.

"Well, maybe for you." He teased, "Because you're leaning against a gorgeous man, but I on the other hand am leaning up against this tree."

She laughed softly and touched his face behind her, "Way to take one for the team, El."

He wrapped his hands around her abdomen, "We need names."

"Have anything in mind? I want them to be strong names, like Isaac's is," she asked resting her hand on his thigh.

He smiled realizing that she had slowly started talking about Isaac in the present tense; he kissed her check tenderly, "Joseph?"

"Maybe." She smiled, "What about Elisha? He had a double helping of wisdom."

"You've been reading." He laughed into her neck and held her tightly.

"It's interesting." She agreed, "But the women names are not so great you know…they sound…old."

"Well, then, it's a good thing we're having boys, huh?"

She laughed, "You wish, these two are absolutely girls."

"Nope." He shook his head softly, "They're boys."

"Girls." She smiled again, "We can settle this you know."

"No! No…you'll ruin the surprise."

She grinned and turned up to meet his lips in a short kiss, "Thank you for doing this for me today Elliot."

"Ah," He shrugged his shoulders, "I love sitting on the damp grass, love the feel of wet boxers." He teased her tickling her sides and hearing her laugh out loud, he stilled her and whispered, "But I really love that laugh."

She took in a deep breath and exhaled, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I'd never…cheat on you right?"

"Wow…nice bomb shell for opening up a conversation," he chuckled, "I know you would never cheat…why stray when you can have all this?" he grinned.

She laughed in shock, sitting up from his chest and turning to face him, "You have got to be the most over confidant individual I have ever seen."

He winked at her and sat a little closer to her before resting his forehead against hers, "What's going on?" he asked softly void of anger or accusation.

She cleared her throat out of nervousness, "This is…embarrassing."

"If it helps," Elliot stood to his feet and kicked off his shoes as she stared at him in confusion, "I'll run around here in my wet boxers." He told her getting ready to unbuckle his pants before she pulled him back down.

"Elliot!" she blushed looking around, "You're crazy."

"For my wife." He told her softly, and caressed her cheek with his hand, "you don't have to be embarrassed around me, you know that."

She bowed her head and took hold of his wrists, silently telling him that when she drops this next bombshell she needs for him to still touch her, she needs for him to still want her. "Don't be upset with me?"

He delicately rubbed the flesh of her face with his thumbs, "Is this about last night?" He asked and watched her slowly shake her head yes as another tear fell, "Nothing you tell me will make me upset…nothing."

"The nightmares." She whispered and swallowed, "They weren't just about Ganzner and Cassidy and White."

He kissed her cheek softly tasting of the bitter pain from which her tears were flowing, "It's okay to tell me…I'm safe." He assured her.

She exhaled, "Most of them," she whispered, unable to find her voice, "Most, have been about…" she let her voice die as she looked away.

It dawned on Elliot like a huge Mag light being pointed at him, "Oliver?"

She pressed her lips together in an effort not to cry but lost miserably as he pulled her tightly into his lap, unconcerned with the roughness of the tree behind him, unconcerned with the damp ground as he pulled her closer and kissed her head, "Cry." He whispered letting her sob against his shoulder, "I love you so much."

She pulled back and swiped at her tears, "How can you say that?"

He smiled softly hoping that the pain he felt when she asked him that didn't show on his features, "How can I not?" he whispered, "You're my wife, you're beautiful, you love me, I love you…I love you, Liv, how can I not tell you that?"

"I just told you I dreamt I slept with another man, and not just any other man..._my brother_." She winced at the thought and exhaled trying to steady her breathing, "How can you not look at me without thinking I'm some sort of slut?"

He sat up quickly, inches from her face and stared at her, "Don't talk about my wife like that." He told her firmly then softened his eyes, "Don't ever let me hear you talk about your self that way…it hurts me." He confessed, "It hurts me to see you do that."

"Why…how can you love me so much?" She cried softly and sniffled, "I've done nothing but cause you pain, I frustrated you when we were dating, I ran from you when you proposed, I lost our son, an-"

"You let me know _you_ when we dated," he cut her off softly as he touched her face again, "you showed me who you were, you weren't detective Benson when you let me take you out you were shy." He smiled softly, "Mysterious, still are."

"Ellio-"

"Yes, you ran from me when I proposed, but you came back to me, you stayed with me when," he cursed his own watery eyes, "I turned out to be a worthless drunk." He confessed, thankful to feel her hands on his face, her thumb taking away his tear as he spoke, "You gave me nine months of seeing you pregnant, you gave me seven months of seeing you as a mother to our son, a son that you gave me, and you gave me that chance to see you as a mom again when you agreed to adopt Sam," he rested his forehead against hers, "and you're giving it to me all over again." He whispered touching her abdomen, "You didn't loose our son, Liv and I don't not love you because you can't control you're dreams…in fact, I love you more that you've trusted me with something so painful…I love you." He smiled through his tears, "How can I not tell you that?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat, "If you knew what the dream was…" she whispered.

"What was it?" he asked in a borderline challenge.

She turned away, "I think it's time to go home, it's late." She whispered.

He furrowed his brow in understanding, cupped her face and turned her to him, "Did you enjoy yourself in this dream? Is that where all of this shame is coming from?"

Her face contorted in an effort to hold back her emotion but the sob still managed to show itself as she shook her head yes. He held her, held her as tight as he could without suffocating her into his chest. He kissed the top of her head, "Doesn't matter…you shouldn't be ashamed, Liv, you can't control what you dream or how you dream." He whispered, "Remember? We tell Sam that? If we tell him that, it must be true because we don't lie to him…tell me the truth, I want to hear it from you're lips, Olivia, your mind needs to hear it from you're lips."

She shook her head in disagreement, "I can't."

"You can…you will, or we'll sit here all night until you say it…say it." He encouraged her, "I'm here, not going anywhere, just say it, Liv, it'll make you stronger."

She sniffled and took a deep breath, "I'm not ashamed. I can't control how I dream…or what I dream."

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Casey exhaled in frustration and leaned her elbows onto the countertop as she scrubbed her hands over her tired face, "How am I so stupid, that I can't get things right?" she muttered.

"What?" Paul furrowed his brow, "Come on Case, start from the beginning." He instructed her taking her by her had and leading her back to the couch where he openly allowed her to rest against him.

She exhaled, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"What fueled it?" He asked softly.

"Do you ever wonder what you did wrong in life to get stuck with me…twice?" she asked.

Without hesitation he kissed the crown of her head, "I wonder what I did _right_ to be blessed with you, even just once. I wonder why God smiled on me by giving you to me, twice,"

She sniffled, "Thank you."

"Case?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's start this from the beginning, from where everything started to go wrong between you and I, that's what the shrink says right? Start from the beginning of the problem and work through it?"

She sat up and smiled softly at him, "You really do listen in there, don't you?"

He chuckled, "I've been working on myself in therapy for, what? Four years now…it's too expensive not to listen."

She furrowed her brow and tilted her head, "You never told me you went to therapy."

He looked down in his lap, "We…we we're separated, I didn't think you'd care."

"Therapy for what?" She asked softly, placing her hand on his thigh.

"Do you remember the night I left you all those years ago?"

She closed her eyes at the memory, willed it to go away, yet it stayed, "Yes." She whispered, "I remember."

"You told me, I thought it was always about me. You called my an unreasonable, controlling mother fu-"

She placed her fingers at his mouth to silence him as she shook her head, "I remember what was said…we we're angry and hurt with one another, I'm sorry." She whispered, having just realized that this was perhaps the first time that she had apologized to him about that specific incident.

"I didn't tell you to garner an apology." He assured her, "I told you, because…you we're right. I loved you Case, but I had no clue what to do with it because I was so tied up with myself that I couldn't see your own hurt and pain…I'm the one who is sorry." He told her kissing the corner of her mouth softly and resting his head against her temple, "I'm sorry I scared you by leaving, I didn't know what to do with all of this stuff with Isaac."

"Paul?" she swallowed hard pulling back to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you about that." She whispered face with her hand, "I need the truth."

He blinked, "I told you the truth."

"You told me you swerved to miss an animal." She whispered letting go of his face and resting her hands on his chest, "I need the truth from your mouth…because I already looked at case file, Elliot must have pulled some strings, because the pictures don't match up with the evidence."

He struggled with his tears, struggled with emotion that while he knew he possessed the capability of showing, he wasn't sure he liked it being forced on him, "What are you asking me?" he asked in a voice almost unrecognizable to her, so full of pain and stress she had to pause a second before speaking. He looked away from her, looked at anything other than her in that moment.

She reached out and tipped his face back to her, tears streaming down her face as his own eyes pooled, she absently ran her thumb over his cheek bone as she held him in her hand, "Paul," she whispered knowing the question was gonna hurt him, knowing the answer would kill them both, "did…you try to kill yourself?"

It is truly an amazing thing for a wife to ever be able to witness her husband cry, to feel him cling to her as though he may, in that precise second, die if she weren't near, if she weren't touching him. It is spectacular when a wife is able to care for her husband in such an intimate way that he would feel safe enough to rest his head against her breast so she could hold him as he sobbed, it's humbling when the leader of the home has momentarily been dethroned and comes to his wife in search of guidance.

She smiled and kissed his head just he'd done to her only moments ago, she squeezed him tightly and stoked his back offering silence instead of words. She wanted him undistracted, she needed him to get this out of him, she needed him to weep bitterly. She just needed him. After several minutes he gained him composure enough to sit back up and turn away with a sheepish smile.

She brought his gaze back to her for the third time during their conversation and kissed him delicately on the mouth, no room for sexual pleasure, just a kiss to let him know she was there, to let him know that she'll always be there.

"Can you tell me why?" she whispered.

He shook his head wanting nothing more than to get out of this situation, "When I hold my son," he whispered gruffly, "I don't want him."

She furrowed her brow at his confession, "We've always wanted kids…what changed, I thought you loved Addison?" she asked sensing the panic creep up into her heart.

He shook his head, almost violently, "You misunderstand, I love my son so much." He told her taking off his glasses and carelessly tossing them on the coffee table, before flopping his head back on the back of the couch and exhaling, "I love him so much…and it makes it harder that I feel this way."

"What way?" She encouraged him.

"I…I feel like…I shouldn't be able to hold him…like every time I hold him, I'm mocking Elliot and Olivia." He confessed pinching the bridge of his nose, "I don't know what to do…I changed his diaper and put him back in his crib today. I fed him from the crib…I'm turning out to be a horrible father and he's going to hate his own father and I-"

"Paul." She called him out of him ramblings with a gentle smile and touch of her hand, "You're not a horrible father, you're a good person, who's having a really hard time right now." She assured him, lacing her hand with his, "I've told you this before and I'll say it again and again until I know you absolutely believe it, but Elliot and Olivia love us, they want us to be a part of their lives, I want them to be a part of ours, and I know, that I know, that is know, that they don't hate us, they don't blame us or see us as the bad guy-"

"But-"

"There are no buts." She told him firmly then reduced her self to a tender smile, "Love is something you have to accept, it is either conditional or unconditional and Paul, I have to tell you, we are incredibly lucky to have friends that love us unconditionally…I mean do you really think most people would even try to forgive me for what I did to Olivia?" she asked him feeling her own tears well back up, "Do you think that couples would really look out for one another like Elliot looked out for you or you for Elliot…we're unbelievably, lucky." She informed him and rose up slightly to kiss him, "I'm lucky to have you, I need you with me." She whispered, and traced his hairline and exhaled over him.

"What is it?" he asked softly as her own tears fell silently.

She sniffled, "When I pulled that report," she whispered, "And realized what you had tried to do…something inside of my broke. I can't make it without you, not now."

He exhaled against her and pulled her tightly into him as they both wept.

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"Hey Liv?" Elliot smiled stopping dead in his tracks and pulling her back to him.

"Hmm?" She answered and followed his gaze to the pool hall.

"Oh, man," She grinned, "The last time we played-"

"Was on our anniversary." He smiled, "We dated for one year, and it was the first night you let me sleep on your couch."

"Only because you tried to hustle someone and it backfired and I thought you had a concussion." She laughed and looked back at the pool hall, "Want to try an hustle our dinner money?"

Elliot grinned, "Why detective Benson are you suggesting that we participate in illegal gambling?"

"What?" She furrowed her brow, "No! Absolutely not…I'm merely suggesting that you and I play ignorant and then, when there's money on the table, we suddenly have beginners luck." She smiled slyly, "You game?"

"You still got it?" he smirked.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Give me a game or two to get familiar, but Elliot, come on, I practically paid my college tuition doing this."

He laughed, "And to think, I was busy struggling to pay to get through the academy, hmm, maybe if I was lacking in scruples, like you, I could have picked up some extra cash."

"Lacking in scruples huh?" She grinned, "Well how about this, whoever picks up the most money from a single game gets to keep all the winnings."

Elliot smiled at the challenge, "I'm gonna be a wealthy man."

"Yeah," She smiled, "Until I bat these chocolate eyes at someone and they scratch."

"You wouldn't?" Elliot narrowed his eyes, "That's cheating."

"No…it's thinking outside of the box." She smiled as they made their way into the pool hall.

In a manner of minutes Elliot and Olivia found themselves racking the balls in preparation for their first game. He smiled looking up and seeing Olivia play her part to a tee as he made the triangle shape of the balls as tight as possible.

"Honey?" Olivia called from the wall pretending to struggle with the pool cue, "Honey, how many of these do we need?"

Elliot grinned and rolled his eyes, "Two sweetheart." He informed her as he took a cursory glance around the pool hall, noticing men salivating over his wife. He personally never understood how a man could look at another man's wife, especially when he was standing less than five feet away. "Okay," He smiled up at her, "Ready for you're first lesson?"

"Yep." She smiled placing the pool stick in her hand so that it was backwards, effectively butting the fatter end in her hand.

Elliot watched as the two men at the table next to him snickered at her 'ignorance' of the game. "Alright, change up the cue stick…it's the other way." He told her standing behind her and whispering into her ear as she made the change, "What do you think of playing up to them?"

She smiled and shook her head, "Okie dokie, Baby."

"Alright, ready to break?"

"Sure…what's that?" she asked tilting her head in mock curiosity.

Elliot shook his head and explained it to her, watching as she broke and scattered the balls here and there, nothing powerful, nothing fancy…definitely girly. "Good job." He smiled. And that was how they'd spend the next few hours, her faking as if she were learning angles for the first time, learning bank shots as if they were a foreign concept when both of them knew either one of them was capable of taking anyone in that hall at any time for any price.

Eventually, Elliot laid down a few one-dollar bills on the side of the table, ensuring that the people next to him saw what he was doing, "I bet you can't make the shot, honey." He teased her.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a five, "Bet you I can." She told him grinning as the two men behind them stopped their own game and observed theirs. She placed the bill down and lined up her shot. Effective, just as it was suppose to be. "Pay up, Sweetie."

He feigned shock, and waited for what he knew was coming.

"Must be beginners luck." A bald man that looked like he probably served a stint somewhere along the line.

Olivia plastered on a fake grin casting her pole into the waters and dangling the bait, "What ever wins the money." She giggled, "Just having fun with my husband tonight." She informed them resting her head on Elliot's shoulder.

"Care to win more?" The bald man asked.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked.

"Well, how about five bucks a game, two on two, the lady team goes first." He grinned motioning to Olivia, "What do you say?"

The secret to a good hustle was winning some, losing some, and then sweeping the floor with them, all the while pretending that you are slowly picking up the game and getting better, and of course it helps to be able to run as fast as possible in case you get made, "Five dollars is a lot…she's barely learning." Elliot informed them.

"Alright, how about three bucks?"

Elliot and Olivia turned around pulling out a few dollars from their pocket, making a show of the whole thing as they whispered to one another, "What do you think?"

Olivia thought about it, "The bald guy might be good, but I watched the younger one, he's clueless…give'em two games, raise the price, loose three games, and then go all or nothing and slaughter them." She suggested with a grin.

Elliot smiled and kissed her forehead, "You are evil."

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Paul and Casey Novak sat in each other's embrace as tears eventually subsided, and breathing became normal. They held one another tightly, loosening their grips only to find them just as intense as the minutes passed by them.

"Casey?"

"Yeah?" She sniffled.

"You gonna explain the hair?" he chuckled kissing her cheek.

She groaned, "I'm a horrible person." She whispered.

"Ah…is this what you were really dealing with when you woke up?" he asked.

"Yeah," She exhaled, "Olivia and I are just getting back into the swing of things with our friendship, she's confiding in me again and we're laughing."

"Sounds good."

"Yep. Until I tell her that I went Rogue with not only her colleague but her boss and did it behind her back."

It was Paul's turn to groan, "Case…didn't you learn Honey?"

She sat up, "Well, apparently not." She responded in pure sarcasm, "I didn't even know we we're gonna do it until I told Cragen I was being stonewalled on the warrant."

"What warrant?"

"Apparently, some one has been bothering Sam, and went so far as to break into their home and bother Sam, the day Elliot ended up in the emergency room, this person apparently had interaction with Sam…in front of a camera, long story short, the judge gave me a big F U."

"Well, I'm confused." He told her in honesty, "How does that make you a traitor?"

"Well," She winced as she looked at him, "What if I told you…you could have been picking me up from jail today?"

His jaw went slack, "What did you do?"

"I might have inadvertently come across some information in the emergency room...with the help of fake paperwork and possibly a fake I.D."

"Possibly? Inadvertently? Came across? Sounds like you went under cover and almost got nailed."

"Yep." She exhaled, "And we found something."

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"That's game, lady." The ball man smiled and picked up the wad of money from the table, "You loose…again."

"Oh." Olivia pretended to be sad, pretended that she couldn't clear the table in a handful of shots. She turned to Elliot, "Honey, lets play again, this is fun."

"Fun?" Elliot arched his brow, "You've lost four games in a row, this is becoming expensive."

"Please?" She whined resting her hand on his chest, "I think I'm learning it." She smiled, this was the sentenced that she used to tell him that she was gonna win the next one anyway.

"Alright," he shook his head in irritation and placed a twenty on the table, "Sorry, it's all I got."

The bald man smiled to his big-eared counterpart and turned around to face her, "Twenty sounds good to me." He grinned and matched his bet.

"Honey?" Elliot smiled chalking his stick, "Can you pass me the powder?"

"Sure." Olivia played along passing him the bottle of powder and shrugging her shoulders as he applied it to his hands.

"Loser breaks." Big ears responded.

"Go ahead baby." Olivia told him, "Break the triangle thingy." She smiled and rested against the wall, watching as Elliot sunk the first three balls, "Oh, sweetie," She grinned, "Call the balls with the stripes, they're prettier."

Elliot looked at the bald player, "I call stripes."

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"What do you mean you found something?" Paul furrowed his brow and looked at her.

She exhaled, "I pulled the sign in sheet from the nurses station and three files that matched what I thought could be an injury from breaking into a house, one had a broken wrist, like maybe jumping a fence or something."

"Okay, what else?" he prodded.

"Well," She exhaled, "They're aren't any names that stand out, nothing that screams at me, but there were some that sounded familiar, like I'd seen them before or something…maybe heard them." She rubbed her temple, "I don't know what to do."

"Is that all you found?"

"Well, I'm not sure, we we're suppose to meet up and discuss the find but we got made-"

"What?" he screeched, "Like, your wanted made or you just pissed your self made?"

"Pissed my self." She smiled softly, "Paul, I want to make things right with Olivia, I want to find this guy."

He exhaled, "Keep talking…my convict of a wife."

She smiled, "I did talk to Fin and Cragen from a payphone, they said that Cragen didn't find anything, but that Fin got a partial shot of his face on the camera and he's gonna send it in for enhancement…might take a few days, I got a voice mail before I stumbled out here that Fin is looking through partial plate numbers…we're gonna find a match, its just a matter of time."

"Time is gonna be you're enemy if you don't get you're butt to Olivia's and tell her."

"I know." She whispered, "I'm nervous."

He stood to his feet and exhaled, "Casey, I'll make you a deal."

"Yeah?" She grinned, "What kind of deal?"

"I'll do whatever you want, if you go and tell Olivia tonight, I'll even come with you."

"Really?"

"Yes…what do you want?" He asked softly, "You're only getting this one time so make it good." He told her pulling her down gently to sit with him.

She looked at him intently and kissed his mouth tenderly before pulling away and watching him, "I want you to start talking to the councilor about Isaac and about you wanting to kill yourself, I don't even have to be there with you, but you need to talk about it."

He exhaled, "Didn't see that one coming."

She smiled and kissed his cheek, "I'm an attorney, you should expect all sorts of underhanded things from me."

He nodded his head softly, "Will you schedule me an extra appointment for next week? I think I'd like the first one to be on my own."

She kissed him again, "Thank you."

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"Did I win?" Olivia asked still playing the part of clueless woman.

The bald man ran his hand over his head, "Damn beginners luck."

"I don't know," Elliot dangled a little bait, "I think she might be catching on."

"Oh please!" Big ears jumped in, "She can't pull that off again."

"I don't know," Elliot smiled, "My wife is a pretty lucky lady, in fact, you guys seem to be getting worse with each game, I personally think she's gonna clean the table with you."

"How do I do that Honey?" She asked innocently.

Big ears jumped in again, "Go all or nothing Bart."

Elliot fought hard not to laugh at the name, he bit the inside of his mouth and shrugged his shoulders, "Baby, all or nothing?"

"Is that good?" Olivia asked.

"Only if you win." Elliot told her, his way of telling her, to slaughter them.

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"Wait here." Casey smiled standing to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Paul asked as she started to walk away.

"I'll be back, I'm gonna get something that I think we both need right now." She informed him over her shoulder as she retreated down the hall and into her son's room.

"Hey monkey?" she smiled at the fact that he was simply starring up at the mobile, quiet as a mouse, "Why didn't you say you were up?" she asked reaching down into the crib and pulling him close to her body. "You're getting so big." She smiled, "You're gonna be just like you're daddy." She smiled walking back to Paul who was still in the same position. A nervous smile as she walked back into the living room and sat next to him.

"He's quiet, have you noticed that?" Paul asked letting the little boy grip his finger.

"Yeah, we're lucky. I suppose the next one will make up for it though huh?"

"Next one?" he grinned.

"Maybe." She shrugged her shoulders, "Although, this little chunky monkey is keeping me nice and tired as it is."

He laughed then stilled immediately as she positioned her son into his father's arm, "Hold you're son…love him." She whispered, "You're a good father." She assured him as he pulled his son close to his body, her hand on the little boy's torso as she rested her head on Paul's shoulder.

Paul exhaled and kissed Casey through her hair, "Thank you."

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"Eight ball side pocket." Olivia grinned at the shot, it was perfectly line up, she'd shoot, bank the cue ball off the side of the table, hit the four ball and send it tapping the eight ball into the corner.

Big Ears and Bald Man stood in shock, much like they had the entire game.

Olivia's previously sloppy grasp of the pool cue, turned suddenly accurate, her eyes tuned into various angle shots, she pulled back on the stick as it slid over her thumb and then let it go, her calculations were perfect, she grinned as she sunk the eight ball, "Got to love beginner's luck." She smiled and Elliot was a little shocked to see that she had actually managed to fake a blush, how do you do that?

"Want to give me a chance to get my money back?" Big ears asked.

Olivia bowed her head and looked at her watch, "I'm sorry, I have to get home to my son," She told them pocketing the money and replacing her pool cue.

"That was a good game, you're a fast learner." Bald man informed her.

She leaned against Elliot, "Got a good teacher." She smiled and made their way to pay for their time spent. They acted as if they didn't just hustle two people for a nice chunk of change, but as they waited in line, their plan suddenly backfired when an unexpected variable showed it's self.

"Olivia Benson?" A loud voice came from the doorway and walked over to her.

"Oh no." Olivia looked mortified as she saw Big Ears and Bald man look their way.

"Olivia Benson! It is you!" An older blond that Elliot didn't now approached them and grinned as Elliot nervously placed the payment or their time spent on the counter.

Big Ears and Bald Man started paying a little too much attention.

Elliot felt his sweat rise at the thought of getting into a rumble, in a pool hall, because his pregnant wife cleaned house.

"Hi." Olivia spoke curtly, trying to shut the woman down as the two men inched closer, arms folded over their chests in suspicion.

"Man, Olivia, I haven't seen you in a pool hall since you took that woman for her watch."

"Liv?" Elliot whispered into her ear.

"Yeah?" she new what was coming as he palmed the small of her back, the woman starring at both of them in confusion.

"You are Olivia, aren't you? I played pool with you eno-"

Elliot saw the men move, he pushed her gently, "GO!" he shouted as they both bolted out the door, with the two men in pursuit. Elliot looked quickly to his left and right as he tugged on his wife to follow, he saw the cab door open and a man try to enter, Elliot ran pulling Olivia with him as he by passed the man and slid into the cab offering a 'sorry' to the confused businessman.

As the cab pulled away Elliot and Olivia laughed hysterically, "That was close." Elliot grinned.

"Yeah, image explaining to Cragen that you got knocked out trying to hustle someone in pool." She grinned, "We would be in so much trouble."

"It was fun though right?" He asked pulling her toward him.

"Yeah." She ginned and kissed him on the mouth, "Yeah, I haven't had that much fun in a while."

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"He came back dead." Elliot laughed pulling Olivia's freshly showered body next to him, "Christoff dropped him off when you were showering, I tried to keep him awake to see you, but you know Sam, when he's tired, he's tired." He smiled and kissed her neck, "How'd we make out from the pool hall?"

"Dinner for two at least." She grinned and turned in his embrace, "At a mediocre restaurant but still dinner for two." She informed her.

"You played well, for not having been on a table in a couple of years."

"Ah, you never forget the game." She smiled and then realized that this would normally be a moment where she inserted some lame attempt at seduction, but today, she just didn't have it in her, "Elliot?" she whispered, her face suddenly more serious.

"Yeah? "

"I don't know if I can tonight." She whispered.

He smiled softly, and leaned his head against hers, "I told you Liv, I won't make the next move, I want you to feel comfortable and confidant, I'm ready when you are." He assured her.

She smiled softly and kissed him tenderly pulling away prematurely when the doorbell rang. "Expecting someone?"

"No." He shrugged his shoulders and turned letting her follow as they went to investigate the visitor.

He opened the door wide enough for both Olivia and him to stare at Casey and Paul, "Hey, guys." Elliot smiled and welcomed them in, "What brings you by?"


	16. Chapter 16 Stronger Than Him

Hell Hath No Furry

Chapter 16: Stronger Than Him

Fin sat as his desk with far too many pieces of paper floating around. The evidence box that Nozzie brought buy contained print out after print out of cars that matched the first three digits of the license plate number that Olivia had given to him. He finally emptied the box, pulling what he thought to be about eight reams of paper worth of possible matches, and placing them on his desk. He leaned back in the chair and rubbed is tired eyes, he'd been tying up loose ends on other cases, finishing old paperwork that Munch simply left behind, and preparing for a new partner. He'd been sitting in his chair for the last fourteen hours, uncomfortable, for the last three.

He'd never admit it, but he missed his partner, missed those ridiculous conspiracy theories, and missed having a seasoned cop as a mentor, even if he would have never told John that. He exhaled and scrubbed his hands over his face wishing John were there to help him go over the paperwork. He shook his head in frustration and straightened up in the seat finally deciding he would have to weed through the paperwork as quickly as possible to come up with a list of possible suspects.

He started with one stack of the papers and immediately took out anything that wasn't a car, all SUV's, trucks and minivan's would be placed back into the box, next he would have to sort through the remaining hits and keep only the dark colored vehicles, he smacked his lips in irritation. Tonight was gonna be a long night.

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"So?" Olivia smiled, handing Casey and Paul bottled water, "What's up?"

Casey fidgeted on the couch next to her husband just as Addison started to fuss in the car seat. She was almost relieved when Olivia kneeled down and picked the infant up from his carrier and held him. Olivia couldn't kill her if she was holding Addison.

"Casey?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "What happened to you're hair." He grinned, "Trying something new?"

Casey self consciously ran her hand through her hair and blushed, "That bad huh?"

Olivia nudged Elliot in the ribs and reprimanded him with an arched brow, "Don't listen to him Casey, he's mad 'cause in a few years he won't have hair."

"Ouch." Elliot winced.

Paul smiled softly at the remark and covered Casey's hand with his. Olivia caught the act of encouragement, of comfort and suddenly knew that this wasn't a visit to sit around and chat about this and that, this was serious, Casey was nervous, Paul was nervous for her, "What happened?" Olivia asked shifting Addison so that he rested on her shoulder, "Why are you so serious?"

"Olivia," Casey took a deep breath and wondered if this is what if felt like for Paul when he left her. If this is what it felt like to hurt someone you love, because you're such an idiot you can't play the hand that was dealt to you right. She exhaled, "I'm so sorry."

Olivia furrowed her brow and stopped the rubbing motion on Addison's tiny back, "Casey," She smiled nervously, "If you want black hair, who cares? If you like it, g-"

"This isn't about my hair." Casey blurted wishing she knew where they stowed their service weapons so she could withdraw one and shoot herself right there, hell, withdraw both of them, make it count.

Elliot and Olivia looked at one another then at Paul and back at Casey, "You two okay?" Elliot asked knowing full well this had nothing to do with their marriage.

"We're fine," Paul assured them, "Casey has something she needs to tell you, both, she's nervous."

Olivia looked back at the woman who looked sickly pale with jet-black hair that was far too dark for her complexion, "What is it…spill, we're friends, here." Olivia encouraged her, having to force herself not to tighten her grip on Addison out fear of what was about to be tossed her lip.

"Olivia, we couldn't get the warrant." Casey whispered hoarsely, feeling her heartbeat rise and her skin grow clammy with sweet.

"Why not?" Olivia frowned.

"Judge is siding with the privacy factor." Casey muttered starring at the hardwood floors and making a mental note to ask Paul if they could redo the flooring in their home. She scoffed inwardly at the thought.

"Well," Olivia sighed in disappointment, "We sort of thought that may happen, we'll have to find another way, it's okay Casey…you tired. Don't beat yourself up."

Casey swallowed and thought she may pass out, "There's more." She whispered.

Olivia furrowed her brow and pulled her neck back to check and see if Addison had fallen asleep, when she was sure he did she leaned down and gingerly placed him back in the car seat rocking it lightly with the toe of her foot.

Casey stared at her friend who was now perfectly capable of killing her having no longer possessed an infant in her arms. She rolled her eyes and rested her face in her hands, trying with all she had not to loose control.

"Case?" Olivia whispered softly, "You want to talk to me outside?"

"No." She swallowed, "Elliot needs to hear this too." She informed them, words soaked in shame.

"I need to hear what?" Elliot asked softly, searching the couple for answers.

"I told Cragen I couldn't get the warrant." She whispered clutching Paul's hand, "But…we got the information anyway."

"What?" Olivia narrowed her eyes at Casey, took in the color of her hair and then suddenly had a light bulb go off in her head, "Casey…what did you do?" Olivia asked, not quite sure she wanted to know.

"We…sort of…did our own version of undercover work and pulled some information." She informed them finally looking up and meeting eyes with her friend, perhaps soon to be ex-friend. All four people stared at one another for what seemed like hours, dead silence filled the room as if all four people were suddenly deaf.

Olivia blinked and shook her head choking out a forced, "When?"

Casey swallowed and blinked out tears of regret, "Last night, the grave yard shift at the hospital." She told them, bracing herself for the wrath of both people, bracing herself for the possibility of being kicked out of their home…out of their life.

"Elliot?" Olivia whispered as she stared at Casey, face blank of emotion, save the shock her eyes screamed, "Will you and Paul excuse us please…maybe take Addison?" she asked still looking at her friend.

Elliot and Paul looked at one another not sure if it was a good idea, "Liv-"

"El…please?" She whispered bowing her head and giving him a side-glance.

"Alright, call me if you need something." Elliot told her leaning over and kissing her cheek, whispering softly in her ear, almost inaudibly, "Be gentle…I love you." Elliot stood and motioned for Paul to follow as he took the liberty of picking Addison up and leading them back to the office.

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"Elliot," Paul exhaled shoving his hands in his pockets and exhaling, "I didn't know what Casey did, until she came home, she's upset."

Elliot smiled softly, "Women are weird, you know that?"

"Excuse me?"

"Women." He shrugged his shoulders, "They're weird."

Paul furrowed his brows, "I'm sorry, isn't this where you slam me up against the wall and tell me what a rotten sonovabitch I am?"

"I think Casey probably already told you that when you came home?" Elliot smirked, "Look, I'm not sure what Casey found, I'm dieing to know, but Liv…Liv needs to handle this in her own way. To be honest, I understand Casey's MO here, I get that she wants to protect us, but Liv, doesn't like for people to pull punches, she hates surprises. Olivia's complicated...well not so much complicated as just…private." Elliot shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know what she's gonna make of this, she might feel betrayed, she may thank her. With some things Liv is a wild card…this is one of those things." He informed Paul softly but wanted nothing more to be next to his wife right now.

Paul winced, "You're wife may beat the hell out of mine."

Elliot exhaled, "It's possible."

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The women stared at one another. Hands fiddling in their laps, the only audible sound was the wall clock ticking away, telling them that they'd been starring at one another for exactly seventy eight seconds and counting.

Casey couldn't stand it anymore, "Please…say something?" she whispered looking down at her lap.

Olivia took in a calculated breath and let it out slowly, "I told you if you ever hid something from me about my son, I'd kick you're ass."

Casey closed her eyes, the end of a friendship, "I'll see us out." She whispered.

"I'm not done talking to you." Olivia spoke evenly as possible in spite of the emotion she felt, "I warned you, and here you are…in my home…confessing this to me."

"I know, I was wrong. I should have called you the minute Cragen suggested we go rogue." She whispered, "I take full responsibility for this." She swallowed. The end of a friendship.

"You should." Olivia arched her brows and stood to her feet closing the gap between them and sitting softly next to Casey, surprising her by placing her arms around her, "You should because you did the right thing. Thank you for coming to me and tell me." Olivia whispered.

"Huh?" Casey shook her head, "What?"

Olivia smiled, "I warned you about keeping things about my son from me, and you didn't, I'm not upset that you bent the rules, you did it to help us."

"I don't understand." Casey shook her head in confusion.

Olivia turned her body more squarely to her friend and smiled softly, "Casey, what happened with you and Cragen and the rest…what happened at the cemetery…that's completely different. That hurt because you sat on it for so long, you came to my home, you had dinner with us all the while with holding information about Isaac…that's what hurt." Olivia confessed, "The truth of the matter is, if you would have told me that there was a possibility that Isaac was alive, Elliot and I would have been the first ones there with a shovel, I know it sounds sick, but it's the truth. It hurt because all of that time everyone knew…_except_ us."

"I'm so sorry." Casey whispered, "Every day that passes I try to understand how much we hurt you…but I don't think I'll ever truly grasp it."

"No." Olivia shook her head in brutal honesty, "You won't…Casey, you went rogue last night, you told me today…you have no idea how much I appreciate the fact that you told me face to face, that I didn't have to stumble on it, you have no idea how much I appreciate you heading my warning…because I meant it."

"I know you did." Casey shook her head, "Believe me, I know, but also believe me, that if I would have had the time to come to you first to the tell you what was happening I would have but…we had to act, we had to or-"

"Shut up." Olivia smiled softly, "You can't keep doing this to yourself Case, I appreciate that you're here right now, I know what you put on the line by doing this." She smiled softly, "Do you know how hard it's gonna be to get you're hair to go back to red?" she teased in an effort to lighten the situation, "Look I'm gonna get El, we want to know what you found."

"Olivia?" Casey exhaled as Olivia made her way down the hall then turned to face her.

"Yeah?"

"It wasn't just me…Cragen and Fin stuck their necks out on this one."

Olivia smiled softly and bowed her head; "I'll have to remember to thank them tomorrow."

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Irritation was setting in for Fin as he discarded sheets of paper, stacked possible matches and sorted through more, the letters jumbled together causing him to write the first three digits of the plate number he was looking for on a post it and stick it to his computer monitor so he could reference it when his mind forgot what he was looking for…again. He shook his head and muttered to himself, "Irritating piece of crap."

"Who is?"

Fin sat up in his chair and arched his brow, "What brings you back to the dungeon Cap?"

"Thought I'd warn you."

"About?"

"Casey is talking to Elliot and Olivia right now…might get a little storm out of Olivia." Cragen informed him sitting down at the empty desk across from him. "Miss you're partner?"

"Should I?" Fin asked trying to cover the fact that he did.

"You worked with him for years, I miss him." Cragen exhaled taking a stack of the papers and asking for the search parameters.

"Look," Fin raised his head and smacked his lips, "He's not from the hood, he's not family and he doesn't owe me money…he can do whatever the hell he wants…dark colored car, that's all I got, the SUV's minivans and every other jalopy have already been taken out." He told him and exhaled, and handed Cragen the sticky, "You'll need this after about two hundred pages or so." He told him before re-writing the digits on a sticky and reposting it on his monitor.

"You're new partner is coming in tomorrow." Cragen said flipping through the papers relatively quickly, years of experience taught him to look for certain things quickly.

"I'll remember to sing hallelujah later." Fin replied, "Can we just get through this, if I get another paper cut, I'll eat my gun."

Cragen smirked and returned to the needle in the haystack, "How did the surveillance picture come?"

"Got a connection working on enhancement." Fin told him, "He's pushin' it through, but the photo wasn't very good…maybe if I'd printed out another minute or so… he thinks we got half of his face…what did Casey find?"

"Don't know yet…she pulled some files and the sign in sheet, doesn't look promising, she said nothing stands out."

Fin grabbed another stack of papers, "Tell her I know what she means."

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Elliot held Olivia's hand as Casey told them about the files she pulled, told them about the doctor Cragen laid out in the hospital, about the orderly and the patient with bowel problems, not that the last part was needed, but it did put a smile on Elliot's face.

"I made copies of the reports at Kinko's as soon as I got them." Casey exhaled and pulled them out of her bag, "Everything I pulled…the sign in log, everything." She told them, "Cragen didn't manage to get anything, Fin on the other hand…might have a picture from the camera."

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "He managed to get a picture of this guy?"

"We think so." Casey exhaled, "But, it needs to be enhanced, it was really grainy and only half of his face is visible." She informed them and then looked at them both with compassion, "We're trying so hard to get him back, Olivia."

Olivia pressed her lips together in an effort to keep tears from falling as she forced out, "I know…thank you."

"Can I ask a question?" Paul chimed in softly, "And it's absolutely none of my concern so if you tell me to shut up, I've got no problems with it."

Elliot nodded his head, "What?"

"What did this guy do to Sam, that make you want him so bad?"

Elliot looked at Olivia who exhaled and looked back at her friends, "When this guy approached Sam, he told him…that he has my son…whoever is harassing Sam, has Isaac, we have to find the boogieman, to find my son."

Paul shook his head in understanding, "Then you let me know what I can do." He stood to his feet and bowed his head gently, "Case and I are gonna get going…give you two some time by yourselves."

"Thank you." Elliot cleared his throat surprised at the emotion he felt, "we appreciate it."

"No problem." Paul shook his hand as he stood and pulled him into the signature three pat hug that men did.

Olivia smiled to herself, three pats, probably standing for 'I'm not gay'. She stood to her feet and cleared her throat embracing Casey warmly, "Thank you so much Casey."

Casey exhaled and hugged her back, "No…thank you, for understanding."

Olivia released her and rubbed her arms affectionately, "How could I not?"

Casey smiled softly thanking Olivia silently for not giving up on their friendship, Casey embraced Elliot as Paul hugged Olivia, "Alright, Addy has to eat or we're gonna have a problem." Casey smiled lifting the car seat and passing her son to Paul who gladly accepted him and smiled at his wife, a smile that only they understood.

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"Damnit!" Fin hissed slamming his hand on the desk and thin flicking it quickly back and forth.

"What happened?" Cragen looked up in worry.

"Friggin paper cut." Fin furrowed his brow, "This is just plain ridiculous." He shook his head and flipped through the paperwork cursing as he sucked on the webbing of his thumb.

"Needle in a haystack," Cragen muttered, "This is like the old days."

"Yeah well, this crap is out." Fin told him flipping another page and then squinting his eyes at the sticky note and back at the paper in front of him and then back at the note.

Cragen noticed the absence of the sound of flipping sheets of paper and looked up at a very confused looking Fin, "What? You find something?"

Fin double-checked and then rechecked the information, first three digits were a match, it was a dark colored car…the name was familiar but her couldn't place it, until it dawned on him.

"Captain?"

"Yeah?" Cragen furrowed his brow, "What do ya got?"

"A big ass problem."

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Elliot and Olivia starred at the files on the kitchen counter, she held his had as he stood next to her both starring, unable to bring themselves to open the contents. "You want to look at them?" Elliot asked.

"I don't know." She whispered reaching out to touch them and withdrawing her hand just before she made contact as if she decided they were hot and may burn her, "Do you want to look at them?"

"I don't know." He furrowed his brow and tilted his head, "This is getting so complicated, there's so many aspects, so many things we have to solve, so many things we have to do."

She squeezed his hand in understanding as they both continued to stare at the stack, "We should look at them." She whispered.

"I agree." He shook his head and continued to stare.

Neither of them budged.

Both stared so intently at the stack, as if it were some foreign object in their home that they didn't hear Sam pad into the room, "Mom?" The chirp in his voice startled her, "Mom are you in here?"

She couldn't resist the grin or the welcomed distraction from impending heartache, "Hey, big boy." She greeted him beaming as he ran to the sound of his voice and buried himself into her legs, his arms around her tightly.

"I missed you." He told her softly.

"I missed you too." She assured him running her hand through his hair, "How was Hoodwinked?"

He giggled against her legs still not letting go, "Funny!"

"And lunch?"

"I know what a corn dog is, now." He told her.

"Did you and Christoff have loads of fun?" Elliot asked him through a smile feeling as though the files were sitting on the counter haunting him…taunting him. He wanted a drink.

"Yeah." Sam answered still clinging to Olivia as if the last day with out her was enough to make him never want to leave her side again. Olivia continued to stroke his hair as he hugged tightly to her.

"Hungry, Baby?" She asked softly.

"Yeah."

"Corn dogs didn't fill you up?" Elliot asked with a grin.

"That was a long time ago Dad, my tummy in hungry." He informed him.

"Well," Elliot shrugged, "Better not keep that tummy waiting huh?"

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"What do you mean?" Cragen narrowed his eyes at Fin, "What did you find?" He asked again.

"This can't be right." Fin shook his head, "He'd have to be stupid."

"Most perps are." Cragen furrowed his brow, "You gonna clue me in or make me sit in the dark here, Fin?"

"All this time." Fin shook his head starring at the sheet, "He's been under our nose, all this time."

"Who?"

Fin sat back in his chair, "I'm tired of being in the dark on this…I want to know why were going after this guy?"

Cragen exhaled, "You know he's bothering their son."

"You know what?" Fin leaned forward; "I broke about fifteen million laws last night…I want to know why."

Cragen rubbed his temples and leaned forward, "Apparently this guy, this boogieman," Cragen said with a roll of his eyes, "Told Sam he has Isaac and he did it solely to hurt Olivia."

Fin pursed his lips together in an effort to control his anger as he looked down at the paper in front of him, "How come we didn't think about it?"

"About what?"

"About an enemy exacting revenge."

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"Sam, you're cheating." Elliot scolded him softly, "Cheating isn't showing integrity is it?"

Sam groaned, "No."

"What's integrity mean?" Elliot asked kneeling in front of him.

"To do what's right even when no one is watching." He confessed, "The form is hard Dad."

"Want help?" Elliot asked.

Sam grinned, "Mom said she can beat you in karate."

Elliot grinned, "Yeah, she can, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I have watched you're mom practice almost everyday for a very long time…which means, I know that form, I may not be able to do it like you're mom, but I know the steps, and I know that your cheating on you're round houses." He smiled resting his hand on Sam's cheek, "It's repeat round, punch, punch, reverse side kick."

Sam arched his brow and smiled, "Show me?"

Elliot wasn't expecting that…but how hard could this be? He stood to his feet unaware that Olivia had made her way to the threshold of the doorway, watching in silence as Elliot made his way behind Sam.

"Okay." Elliot exhaled, "You're mom stands like this," He said widening his stance and bending at the knee letting Sam feel the bend and placement of his legs so the he could mimic, "From there, you have you're repeat round kick." Elliot told him as he guided his small leg through the motions careful of his balance, "Step up with you're right leg and punch left…now right." Elliot grinned as the little boy willingly listened and accepted Elliot's touch to his legs, arms and occasionally his hip to adjust his stance, "Your mom looks more like that." Elliot told him shifting the youngster's hips just slightly.

Olivia smiled and continued to watch, a lone tear making its way down her cheek, happy that Elliot was finally able to connect with Sam through touch that Sam would have normally not allowed, she was happy that Sam was trusting him. In spite of everything that was dropped on her, she was amazed to find herself happy.

"Dad, what's next?" Sam asked in a perfect back stance, "I forget."

Elliot furrowed his brow and tried to think about it, "Know what? I forget too…I think it's low block?"

"It's jump front kick." Olivia finally made her presence known although she speculated that since Elliot was the only one that jumped, Sam had known she was near the whole time.

Elliot turned and smiled sheepishly at her, "Not exactly my field."

"Yet, you know it." Olivia smiled, "I didn't know you paid that much attention." She closed the gap between them and put her hand around Elliot's waist as she turned to Sam, "Go from you're back stance into a jump kick, Baby."

He did so, in a crisp motion, "Like that?"

Olivia smiled, "Perfect…dinner is ready guys, lets go before it gets cold."

Sam trotted out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, "Sghetti!" he chirped making his way to the table.

Elliot smiled and followed suit until Olivia stopped him by stepping in front of him, "Not so fast, mister."

"What?" Elliot asked resting his hands on her waist.

"Thank you." She whispered placing a lingering kiss on the corner of his mouth.

He arched his brow and smirked, "For what?"

"Helping him…paying attention to me…being here." She whispered, "Just…thank you."

He smiled against her and then turned her around so he could embrace her from behind, "You didn't make spaghetti did you?"

She groaned as he walked her down the hall, his chin on her shoulder, "No."

"He's gonna be disappointed."

"I didn't know he wanted it." She protested, and then sighed seeing Sam at the kitchen table.

"Mom?" He asked training his ear in her direction.

"In the flesh." She responded sitting down next to Elliot.

"This doesn't smell like sgabetti." He furrowed his brow.

"I'm sorry, Honey, I didn't know that's what you wanted, I made you something different."

"Oh." He scratched his head, "Sgabetti tomorrow?"

"It's spaghetti and it sounds like a plan." She agreed as Elliot filled his plate with food. "Alright, Baby," She told Sam sliding his plate to him after she cut his meat, "You got chicken at twelve O'clock, veggies at three and mashed potatoes somewhere around seven…Milk where you're water goes."

"Chocolate?" He grinned.

"Of course." She smiled then grinned feeling Elliot's feet tangle with hers below the table.

"How was church today Sam?" Olivia asked cutting her own chicken breast.

"Fun, I'm in the bible." He grinned, "Two times." He beamed.

Elliot smiled at Olivia and winked as he continued to explain his discovery of 1st and 2nd Samuel.

"I remember those." Olivia told him, "You got two whole books, huh? God must think you're pretty amazing."

"Isaac is in there too." Sam told them matter of factly.

Olivia froze, then softened feeling Elliot's hand on her thigh, "Really?" she forced out in a breath.

"Yeah, my Sunday school teacher told me so." He said kicking his feet that didn't even come close to the ground, as he ate, "I told her I got a brother named Isaac, but he's just away for a while."

Olivia closed her eyes, took in his words, _I've got a brother named Isaac; he's just away for a while. _Olivia cleared her throat of emotion, "What…what did she say about Isaac?"

Sam shrugged and stabbed his fork around three O'clock, "Nothing, she said she'll pray he can come back soon."

Elliot squeezed her thigh warmly and rubbed her leg gently letting her know he was right next to her. He cleared his throat of his own emotion and was just about to say something when Sam cut him off.

"What is this?" Sam asked pointing his finger in a small mound of vegetables.

"Carrots, honey, they're good for you, you're daddy eats them." She assured him.

Sam's face grew down cast as he exhaled and pushed the plate away from him, "I don't want them."

Olivia tilted her head to one side knowing that sometimes he said he didn't like something because he wasn't sure what they were, she reached across the table and slid the plate back to him, "It's okay just a couple, just a taste."

"No." he shook his head and pushed the plate back.

Elliot straightened himself from his chair, "Sam, remember, we say 'No' if someone is trying to hurt you, we don't tell Mom that because she's not trying to hurt you." He corrected him softly.

"Both me and your dad are eating them, they taste really good." She encouraged him and slid the plate over to him one more time, "Go ahead and try one."

Sam slid the plate back more forcefully, "No." he told them again.

Olivia arched her brow at his blatant defiance of both she and Elliot, "Sam," she was careful to keep her tone in check, "There are consequences to disobeying what we ask of you, remember that we wont ask you to do anything that we think might hurt you, but we want you to grow up big and strong and veggies help you do that."

Both she and Elliot watched the little boy sit up straight, keeping his head up, he continued to let his legs swing freely, not uttering a word to let them know he was listening to them. Olivia grinned that he was finally comfortable enough to test the waters, he was growing into his place, comfortable enough with defying them. Elliot smiled at her as Sam sat perfectly still, perfectly willing to wait them out. While it was almost humorous to them, they also understood the importance of disciplining him in a manner that wouldn't shatter his trust in them. They waited a few more seconds before Olivia made the next move, she reached over the table with her fork and separated three sliced carrots from the pile and pushed the plate back to him, "Alright, Baby, all you have to do, is eat these three little-"

He jumped to his feet causing the chair to slide back a few inches and in a move completely unexpected of him he took the plate in innocent hands and through it hard over his shoulder as his tiny body twisted adding more force to the motion. The plate collided with the wall, leaving a trail of mashed potatoes here and there, orange carrots dotting the floor as the chicken rested over the broken glass that came from the plate…and the window it collided with. "NO!" he barked angrily and picked up his glass of milk slamming it to the ground before Elliot could get it from her.

"Sam!" Olivia called to him to calm him down.

"NO!" he snapped again shaking his head and running away from the table a yelp of pain and a few hops until he was running down the hall to his room, a slam of the door following suit.

Elliot and Olivia stared at the now empty seat at the table, "So," Elliot pursed his lips, "I don't think he likes carrots."

She arched her brow and surveyed the mess, "You think?"

They were almost willing to laugh until they heard the loud shouts and destructive noise coming form Sam's room. Both of them made their way to his room, her forsaking the rule to knock as she opened the door and stared in shock at Sam pulling his audio books form the shelf; "NO!" he barked pulling them out and throwing them behind him.

"Sam." Elliot was about to make his way into the room when Olivia stopped him as Sam moved to his nightstand and knocked it's contents off of it, pulling the comforter off of his bed, "NO!" he growled out slamming his tiny fist into the mattress and throwing his pillows over head.

"Samuel." Olivia called to him softly as she made her way into the war zone.

He crawled over his bed to his Lego house that he'd been spending countless hours on, "NO! NO! NO!" he screamed raising it above his head and slamming it to the ground sending the house into a million colorful pieces.

"Samuel." She rested her hand on his back only to have him pull away, "NO!" he sobbed and walked to the corner of his room, "No. No. No." He whispered hoarsely resting his head into the corner of the room as if he were a child on time out.

Elliot made his way slowly into the room, taking note that there were traces of blood where he'd walked, an indication he'd probably picked up a shard of glass from the kitchen. He ignored it for now; knowing that the priority was to sooth him, heal him later.

Olivia stood behind Sam, separated from him by only one, maybe two, feet. She watched her son cry bitterly, this was more than a little boy not wanting to eat his vegetables, something had went wrong tonight, something had flipped a switch within his innocent mind and she knew her only responsibility right now, didn't lie in the dinner that was left to cool on the table, it didn't lie on the glass that needed to be swept up or the blood that was on the carpet, it did, however, lie in soothing her son.

She watched his small shoulder heave up and down, his face hidden in the corner, his foot lifted so that his wound was exposed as he rested the top of the foot against the carpet, tiny toes curled. Innocence bruised. Her heart broke when he raised his hand and placed his fingertips along the wall, reading with his fingers, crying with his heart. It seemed to sooth him, seemed to comfort him as she and Elliot looked on in concern, worry and fear.

Olivia took a breath and kneeled down behind him, her chin on his shoulder, her hand splayed on his tiny torso as she raised her free hand and covered his searching fingers, "Ray of happiness." She whispered into his ear vaguely aware that Elliot had turned on the baby monitor and walked out of the room. The sound of dishes being cleared from the table her only indication that he left to clean up the mess that was made, and he would listen from the monitor.

His fingers continued to move, as he hiccupped trying to catch his breath, she kissed his cheek tenderly as he moved to the next line, she struggled for a moment to remember it then smiled softly, "Formed by God…loved by me."

He hiccupped again and finally lowered his hand resting back and sitting on her thighs, a small yelp when his foot hit the ground. She adjusted her legs and sat Indian style so he could rest in her lap. She looked around quickly and grabbed a stray sock from the bed, for once thankful, he missed one while he put his clothes away, "This might sting, Honey." She told him wrapping the sock over his tiny foot just to stop the bleeding; she'd worry about putting him through the torture of pulling the glass out later.

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"Do you know how long it would take to search through all of Olivia's enemies?" Cragen asked with arched brows, "And why do you think it was an enemy?"

Fin looked down at the sheet of paper and leaned back in his chair, "What would you do if someone ruined your career, and made you out to be a liar and a fat mouth?"

"I would want to hurt them." Cragen nodded, "Anyone would want that…are you suggesting Pollock? Cause she killed him."

"Yeah, I sort of remember that." Fin responded sarcastically, "No I'm talking about a different slime bag."

"Cassidy?" Cragen furrowed his brow, "I heard she shot him down, I guess you could say she indirectly ruined his career, although I think he bore some respon-"

Fin looked at Cragen and finally slid the paper over to him, "Liv is gonna kill that guy." Fin exhaled pointing to the sheet of paper that told them who the boogieman was, "She is absolutely going to rip him from limb to limb."

Cragen looked at the match on the paper and realization hit him harder than freight train, remembering a younger detective Benson, make a lapse in judgment, invite someone into her home. He exhaled and scrubbed his hand over her face, "Elliot is gonna loose his mind."

Fin stood to his feet and took the paper from the Captain; "We've got to go tell them…now."

"Now?" Cragen furrowed his brow, "you've been up longer than necessary get some sleep fi-"

"With all do respect Sir," Fin narrowed his eyes, "I listened to you the first time and I almost lost a good friend, and if not listening to you right now means I loose my job I'm more than happy to hand you my badge right now."

Cragen smiled and picked up his jacket to go, "I wasn't suggesting we not tell them, I was suggesting you get some sleep first."

Fin started out the bullpen with Cragen tailing him, "I don't think Olivia has had a good sleep since the day Isaac disappeared."

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Olivia ran her hand through his hair and he rested his back into her swelling belly, she kissed him softly on the head, "Want to tell me why you're so upset? I'm not that bad of a cook you know." She teased him softly hoping to see that smile, knowing she wouldn't.

He hiccupped and sucked in a ragged breath, "I'm in trouble aren't I?"

Olivia thought about it for a second, his question really depended on his answer, "Well cross that bridge later, but know that there aren't any spankings or yelling coming, okay."

He nodded and wiggled his way out of her lap standing to his feet and offering another yelp, his hands harshly hitting his face as he winced in pain and forced himself to be quiet. Olivia winced knowing that in order for a little boy to know how to silence himself from pain…he had to endure a lot of it. "Let me help you." She whispered standing to her feet and pulling him up to his bed and allowing him to lie down on his pillow, she wished Tripod was inside for the sole purpose of snuggling close to him.

She raised his foot over her thigh confidant that he wasn't bleeding badly enough to be of dire concern but she kept an eye on it, made sure the wrapped sock stayed put, she smiled catching site of the monitor, "Would you like Tripod to come in?" she spoke in such a manner that Elliot would understand to let him in, and in less than a minute she heard the pitter pat of paws against the hard wood, and the running leap the dog took to get on the bed, his puppy snuggling up close to him, Sam's small hand rubbing him gently.

"Better?" She asked softly.

"Yeah." He whispered.

"Want to tell me why you're so upset?" she asked stoking his ankle gently with her finger.

He shook his head in frustration and exhaled, "They don't work, Mom." He whispered.

Olivia furrowed her brow, "What doesn't work, Honey?"

"The carrots…they don't help my eyes, grandma says that it's my fault my eyes don't work, cause I didn't eat enough carrots." He hiccupped and pawed at his tears.

Olivia closed her eyes and willed the tears away, yet they presented themselves silently streaming her cheeks, "Sam, it's not you're fault that your eyes don't work." She told him softly laying next to him, careful to keep his foot on her leg to slow bleeding.

"Grandma says it is."

_Grandma can go to hell._ "It doesn't matter what grandma says." She assured him and then smiled, "Honey, if I told you that your daddy ties a tie really good, does that mean it's the truth?"

Sam smiled softly, "No…Daddy is bad at that."

She grinned knowing Elliot was grinning somewhere in the house listening to this. "But I told you that, so it's the truth."

"But I can feel his tie…it's a lie." He countered.

"Then is it possible that your grandma lied to you?" she whispered not really enjoying the fact that she was basically calling his grandmother a liar, but she was.

Sam furrowed his brows, "Then why did she make me eat only carrots?"

"What?" she narrowed her eyes on him, "What do you mean?"

"For a long time Grandma gave me carrots for morning time, and lunch time and night time." He told her sadly, "She said I had to eat them until my eyes got better…I hoped they would, Mom," he sounded almost happy with his hope, but it quickly changed to sadness, "But my eyes still don't work."

Olivia rubbed his tummy gently; "They work." She assured him, "Just a different way."

"I want them to work like yours, Mom." He whispered, "I want to see you, how daddy sees you cause he says you're so beautiful, he says you're like a flower…soft and pretty."

Olivia struggled to keep her emotions in check, the tender words of her husband spoken through the innocence of a child, the innocent child expressing to her, for the first time, his frustration and anger with his disability, "I'm sorry I can't make them work for you, Honey." She kissed him softly, "If I could, I would fix them for you, I would do anything to make you're eyes work."

He cried into her shoulder, "I want to see you, Mom."

She pulled away softly and sat him up against his headboard, his foot still high on her thigh, she wiped his tears gently with her hands, "They work Sam, just different than mine do." She assured him, "Teach me to see like you do?"

He shocked her with a genuine grin and spoke softly through a shuddered breath, "Close your eyes, Mom. No cheating."

She smiled and closed her eyes, she felt him take her hands into his smaller ones and raise them to his face, and it was then that she saw him differently, felt the stress in his face that she couldn't see, felt the tenseness in his jaw joints that she knew must be hurting him, his nose, small and perfectly curved at the end. His brows distinct, one raised slightly higher than the other, his ears perfect, his skin soft his lips full, his chin strong, "You're beautiful, Sam." She told him softly.

She opened her eyes and saw him grinning at her, she kissed his forehead and smiled, "You're beautiful."

"Handsome." He corrected her, "Boys are handsome."

"Oh," she smiled, "I'm sorry. You're handsome." She assured him.

He exhaled and leaned back, "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't so much like carrots…they don't work." He whispered rubbing Tripod's ear tenderly.

Olivia shook her head in understanding, "Then we don't eat carrots…how do you feel about broccoli?" she teased him softly.

"With cheese?" he grinned.

"Is there any other way?" she laughed softly and patted his belly, "Are you still hungry?"

"No." he whispered and furrowed his brow in thought, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Is it okay to hate grandma?"

Moment of truth. Definition of parenthood. It came down to this and the fact of the matter was if she answered him yes, it would be a lie, because hate was never okay, if she answered him no, she was taking away his right to be outraged at his treatment. She decided to play it safe and let him decide, "Do you remember the story you told me you learned in church last week?"

"Yeah," He shook his head, "Good Spartan."

"Samaritan." She smiled, "He was suppose to hate the man he helped."

"But he didn't, he helped him when the other guys wouldn't." he informed her.

"Yep, saved him." Olivia whispered, "What do you think you should do about Grandma?"

He nuzzled himself into Olivia, "I want to forget grandma…I don't like her…but I love her." He told her softly.

Olivia held him close surprised that he understood a difference between like and love, "Would you like to know something about me?"

"Yeah." He shook his head but stayed close to her.

"My mom and I…we didn't get along so well, she hurt me a lot, made my heart hurt." She paused to keep her composure before continuing, "I had a very special teacher at school when I was just a little older that you and she told me something that I've always remembered."

"What?"

"Don't mistake my grace for weakness." She smiled as his brows furrowed, "Would you like me explain it to you?"

"Yeah."

"Grace is something that you give someone to excuse you from a mistake you made, for example, I'm going to give you grace tonight instead of disciplining you for throwing you're plate…do understand so far?"

"Yeah," he whispered, "I'm sorry for my mess."

"It's okay." She whispered back to him, "When you give someone grace you are actually being someone very strong…it doesn't mean you're weak…it's very manly to give some one grace." She told him knowing he'd hold onto that a little more freely, "You understand so far?"

"Yeah."

"When I choose to give someone grace instead of what they deserve, I'm showing them that I'm stronger than they are."

"I can be strong." He told her, "I can." He assured her.

"I know you can." She smiled.

"If I give grandma grace…do I have to talk to her?"

"Do you want to?"

He thought about it for a second, "No." he whispered.

"Then you don't have to…in this situation, you don't have to." She assured him and held him against her.

"Mom?"

"Yes?" She smiled at his sudden rash of questions.

"Will you give the man who took your boy, grace?"

Olivia swallowed, taken back by the question; the kid should be a prosecutor with the poignant questions he asked her. She treaded carefully here, knowing there was no way this man was going to be extended grace, if anything she would beat him, until he moaned for her mercy and then she would deny him that, and when he plead for his life she would kill him. She kissed Sam softly and whispered to him, "I'm going to be stronger than him."

She waited patiently for him to go to sleep knowing that the next task was to get the glass out of his foot. She exhaled and stretched for the monitor, "El, if you're listening still, can you bring me tweezers and the first aid kit?"

She sat up slowly and moved his leg delicately hoping that removing the glass while he slept wouldn't hurt him, not like she knew it would if he were awake. In a manner of a few minutes Elliot padded softly into Sam's room and placed an open first aid kit on the bed as he whispered to her, "The kitchen is taken care of, the blood is cleaned up, I'll get started on the carpet…do you want my help?"

"Please." she smiled softly and exhaled as he placed a lingering kiss on her forehead.

"Do it quick," Elliot told her, "Don't want him to wake up."

"I know." She nodded, "You got that pocket light?"

"Yeah," Elliot fished in his jeans for it and shined it on the tiny foot, "Wow, that's a nice piece of glass."

"Yeah, he's got an unusually high tolerance for pain." She told him sadly.

"He's learned to control it." Elliot whispered knowing what that meant.

Olivia held his tiny foot in her hand gripped the large shard in the tweezers, "When I pull this, put the gauze over it okay?"

"Okay." He agreed.

Olivia counted softly to three and pulled it, Sam squirmed for a split second until she quickly lowered herself to his ear and soothed him, "You're okay, Baby, go back to sleep." She whispered kissing his cheek as Elliot cleaned his foot and rolled gauze over the wound. Olivia kissed him again and adjusted his hand so that it rested on Tripod, "Keep my boy safe." She instructed the dog as she retrieved the comforter from the ground and draped it over his body.

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Olivia and Elliot walked along the outside of the house to assess the damage of the window, "Both panes or just one?" Olivia asked, "I suppose it doesn't make a difference, if ones broke they both go."

"Yeah, well lets see with the little Pitcher did." Elliot chuckled removing the screen and handing it to Olivia, "Looks like just the inside pane." He told her, "But I'll call the glass shack and have them look at it, see what they think."

Olivia furrowed her brow and the screen she held running her fingertips along the screen and feeling the texture.

"You okay?" Elliot asked.

Olivia looked back at the screen and then around the back yard, "Then fence."

"What about it?"

"The gate is paddle locked so Sam can play out here." She whispered, "It's always locked."

"Yeah, I know." He agreed.

Olivia walked to the fence holding the screen in her hand, "Do you remember having to climb the fences in the academy for your physical test?"

"Yeah." He shrugged, "So?"

"What's the most common injury?" she asked him still looking at the fence imaging a figure scaling it.

"Broken arm or wrist usually, if they go over wrong, sometimes torn uniforms or hol-" Elliot stopped and starred at Olivia, "The only way in or out with the gate locked, would be over the fence."

"Put you're arm around me."

"What?"

"Humor me, put your arm around me."

Elliot slid his hand behind her waist, "Okay."

"No, around my neck, like this." She told him mimicking the position Sam had forced her to create with him. She felt the texture of the screen and held it over his wrist, "What does this feel like to you?"

"A screen."

"Get serious, Elliot."

"Sorry." He felt the screen, "I don't know really."

"Feel like fiberglass to you?"

"Isn't fiberglass itchy?"

Olivia looked up at him and raised a brow, "Not the kind they use for casting broken bones…like a wrist that might get broken from jumping a chain link fence."

Elliot stared at her, looked at the fence as he felt the screen with his fingertips, "The files."

Olivia swallowed, "Bite marks and broken bones…Sam felt the cast, he was trying to tell me he had a cast on." In an instant the screen was dropped, the damaged window forgotten, the blood staining Sam's carpet forgotten as they both bolted back into the house almost tripping over one another as they made their way up the deck stairs and into their home.

She reached for the top file; he fumbled for the next one. "I got a Richard Sanders," She told him looking at the tab, "Sound familiar?"

"No." Elliot shook his head, and looked at his file, "What about a Jose Rosario?"

She furrowed her brow in thought, "No."

They both opened the files and searched the material, "Right here." Elliot jumped pointing at the entry, "Broken radius."

She looked at the entry and then searched for the sign in log and ran her fingers quickly down, "No, can't be he was there almost eight hours _after_ we were."

Elliot cast the file aside as she continued to search her own, "Laceration of the hamstring?" She mulled it over, "Well, what do you think?"

Elliot shrugged his shoulders as she ran his finger down the sign in list, "I suppose he could have sliced himself going over the top…nope, nope can't work, he was there two hours _before_ we were."

Both of them stared back at the one remaining file and grabbed for it in unison, four hands fumbling to open it, "Let me do it." She snapped, pulling it away and opening it only to have his hands fumble to flip the pages, "I can't see move your hands." She told him as he kept flipping looking for the entry.

"No," Elliot shook his head as she started turning pages on the opposite side, "Go back. "

"What?" she asked out of patience.

"Go back." He demanded flipping the pages for her, "Right there…there it is." He hissed, "Son of a bitch!" he whispered in shock, eyes wide as both of them stared.

When she finally figured out how to breath again she started to read the entry, "Thirty-eight year old male: laceration to the left quadriceps, fracture of the wrist." She stopped at the next sentence, the key sentence, "K-9 bite on left Achilles tendon evidence of tooth embedded in epidermis."

Elliot stood in silence; the only sound was Olivia swallowing the lump in her throat, "It's him." She whispered.

Elliot took the file in his hand and read the name on the tab, "That can't be right…it said white male right?"

"Yeah." She whispered, "Why?"

"What white person do you know that has the name Aivilo Aneres?"

"Spaniard and they assumed white?" She furrowed her brow, "Possibility…sounds familiar actually."

"Yeah?" Elliot looked at the name again and the color drained from his face, "Liv?"

"What?" She asked looking at the other file, just in case the names sounded familiar.

"Spell his name backwards." Elliot whispered.

Olivia reached for a pen and scratched the name backwards on the file jacket and froze, "No." she shook her head, "No way."

"It was all over the news, Liv…this could be anyone." He told her softly.

"No." She shook her head in disbelief, "Elliot, this is him…this person," She said raising the file, "Has our son."

"It's a fake name Live." He whispered rubbing her shoulder with the palm of his hand, "It's a fake name…but we're close, where gonna find him." He assured her.

She shook her head absently and chewed her bottom lip pawing at her tears and wanting desperately to hit something, to throw something, to do anything…to kill this man. Before he could wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be okay, the doorbell rang. She jumped at the sound then exhaled, "Hurry," she whispered, 'don't let it ring again, Sam will wake."

He kissed her cheek quickly and went to the door as she wiped quickly at her eyes and face staking the files back as her chin quivered. Furrowing her brow at the familiar sound of voices.

"She's not really feeling up for company." Elliot was explaining just as she walked into the foyer.

"Fin-Captain," She looked at them in slight surprise, "What brings you by, it's late?"

"Olivia." Fin looked her square in the eyes, "We have to talk to you."

Her eyes widen, her heart beat faster, everything was falling and no matter how many pieces she tried to pick up and put back, then fell faster all around her, "What?" she whispered, "What did you find?" she shook her head defiantly, "He's not dead, my son is not dead."

"No, Olivia," Cragen stepped forward, "No, he's not, but we think we have a hit on the license plate number."

"Who?" Elliot asked surprised by the lump in his throat, he cleared his voice; "Tell us."

Fin handed the folded paper to Olivia who opened it slowly almost reverently; she scanned the information and felt her heart plummet, "No." She whispered, "No…no one is that cruel."

"Who is it?" Elliot asked tipping her wrist so he could read the paper; he shook his head absorbing the name and address, "I'll kill him." He whispered, then suddenly grew outraged he disengaged the lock on the drawer, "I'll kill that mother fu-"

"Elliot." Fin covered his hand and nodded to Olivia with his head, "You do that and your of no use to you're family."

Elliot released his weapon; allowing Fin to shut the drawer, the sound of the lock engaging as Elliot turned to see Olivia starting blankly over the paper, "It all makes sense." She whispered.

"What does?" Elliot asked, "What, Liv?"

"The man, that shoved between Alex and I the week we left for vacation, I didn't put it together, but he was watching us, he had a hood on, he moved so fast." She shook her head in disbelief, "I'm going to kill him." And just before she could carry on as to how she would do it, she heard a voice from behind her

"Who Mommy?"


	17. Chapter 17 What Are You Waiting For

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 17: What Are You Waiting For?

A/N Hee Hee. Angst? You want to talk about Angst try going to and read a story by jaybar called rescue…that's angst, makes my stuff look fluffy.

In a single moment Olivia felt as though everything she had spoken over Sam's life, every encouragement to forgive, to love, to trust, to obey; every word, was now being voided because she didn't have the discipline to reign in her thoughts. She scoffed inwardly, unwilling to look at the little boy who was waiting patiently behind she and Elliot. She stared at Fin and Cragen as Fin looked over her shoulder smiling at the sight of the little boy.

Slowly, she took a breath, realizing that as a mother to Sam, she should have never uttered the sentence, she should have never expressed her desire to kill a man, for hurting her in such a painful way, but as a mother to Isaac, she felt as though she had every right to be furious, had every right to shed blood…to kill…to murder.

In a split second she remembered their conversation a little under an hour ago, she stressed the importance of grace and exercising one's strength, by extending it to those who don't deserve it, yet here she stood, declaring that her ability to forgive would only come through the shedding of another man's blood…by her own hand.

"Who Mommy?" Sam's voice broke through her racing thoughts and momentarily seized her heartbeat.

She tilted her head to the side, still unable to turn and look at her son whom she loved dearly. He would speak to her in innocence, love her unconditionally amidst her turmoil, and sooth her heart with his touch, his laugh, his purity. She couldn't face him because he would love her and she wasn't so sure she should be loved through this, she wasn't entirely sure it was acceptable to be loved when you want to track someone as if they were an animal, and shoot them as if they were prized game, gut and skin them as if they were food for the winter. She wasn't sure of a lot of things, but she was sure that Sam was going to love her.

"Mommy?" Sam's voice grew a little more stressed at the lack of response from her.

She turned around slowly and smiled softly as he stood in front of her, his bandaged heel raised slightly from the floor. "Hey, Honey." She chirped trying to sound happy, "What are you doing up?"

"My tummy got hungry." He told her, "It woke me up."

"Ah," She nodded her head, "What would you like for me to fix you?" she asked, thankful that he was allowing her to skirt the issue…for now.

"Peanut Butter and Jelly?" He grinned.

"Sure…hey, would you like to meet a friend of mine?" Olivia asked kneeling in front of him and resting her hand on his small hip.

"Who?" Sam furrowed his brow, "You have a lot of friends, Mom." He informed her as he reached out to her and rested his head on her shoulder, "Is you're friend a boy like Robert or a girl like Alex?"

Olivia smiled as Cragen and Fin finally stepped into the house and Elliot closed the door, "Odafin is a boy…would you like to say hi?"

"Odafin?" Sam furrowed his brow, "That's a funny name like Odie from my cartoon?"

Olivia smiled wearily and looked up at Fin who simply winked at her. "Well," Olivia stood to her feet, "We like to call him Fin." She informed Sam.

"Oh, like a Fish?" Sam asked, "Is Fish nice?"

"It's Fin, and he's a pretty cool guy." Olivia assured him, "He's standing to you're left, three feet away, if you'd like to say hi."

Sam turned his body and extended his small hand with a confidence that Elliot and Olivia were shocked at. There was no stepping back into the shelter of his parents, he was making every effort, "Hi, Fish, I'm Samuel Stabler…I'm nine."

Olivia furrowed her brow, _Nine? Baby you're eight._

Fin smiled and shook the small hand, "Nice to meet you Samuel, you're mother tells me you're a really good boy."

"Not today." Sam smacked his lips, "I don't like carrots."

Fin furrowed his brow, "Well, I'm sure if you're mother says your good…then your good."

"Carrots aren't good…they don't work." Sam exhaled.

Fin smirked and crouched in front of the little boy, "I agree with you, I hate carrots, they're orange and their gross and when they're cooked they're even worse…personally, I think whoever invented the carrot should be arrested and serve some serious time…what do you think?"

"_Serious_ time." Sam giggled in agreement, a smile plastered on his face that was uncharacteristically displayed in front of a man that he didn't know but seemed entirely comfortable with.

"Besides, I got something better than a punk vegetable." Fin informed him.

"What?" Sam grinned stepping closer to Fin and surprising Elliot and Olivia again by placing his hands on Fin's shoulders, "What? Tell me."

Fin reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a treat, "Tootsie Pop."

"What's that?" Sam asked as the rest of the group looked on with smiles at the scenes, but all fully aware that there were things much more serious that needed to be taken care of tonight.

Fin placed the candy in the palm of Sam's hand, "When you're done with you're grub and you're mom's fine with it, you can open it, and see for your self." Fin told him as he stood to his feet and watched the little boy scamper off to the kitchen.

Fin gave a sheepish smile as six eyes starred at him in shock, "Told you, you were a softie." Olivia smirked and walked backwards, "I'm gonna fix him a sandwich and I'll meet you all in the office." She informed them turning and disappearing.

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"Chunky or creamy?" Olivia asked helping him onto the counter stool.

"Creamy, please."

"Grape or strawberry?" She questioned as she pulled the peanut butter from the cabinet and motioned to open the refrigerator.

"Cherry?"

Olivia grinned, "You like cherry?"

"Yeah, dad got me a chocolate and he put cherry in it…it's good."

"It's great." She corrected him with a smile and pulled a bowl from the strainer placing it on the countertop and suddenly bracing herself against the counter, her hand on her belly. She soothed her breathing and carried on, "Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah mom?"

"I'm a little hungry myself, mind if I sit and eat a sandwich with you?"

He grinned and sat up in the chair "Please."

"How's you're foot baby?" She asked placing the peanut butter in the bowl that already contained a fair amount of cherry preservatives.

"It hur- it's good." He assured her.

She mixed the items together in the bowl, "You know, Sam," she started to place two slices of bread on the countertop, "it's okay to say it hurts if it does, and it's certainly okay scream or cry if it's hurting you…you were a big boy when you stepped on it, I think I would have been in pain." She told him as she started to gather the mixture onto a butter knife.

"It doesn't now," he told her letting his shoulders fall, "but it…did."

She spread the mixture evenly over the slices of bread and mounted one on the other, "I know it did honey, I'm sorry, that happened, and I'm really sorry I didn't understand why you didn't want the carrots." She said as she brought the knife across the sandwich and cut it clean in half producing two triangles.

"We all make mistakes." Sam informed her with a small smile.

She laughed at the maturity of the remark, laughed at the fact that he truly did listen to the things she and Elliot told him, she exhaled knowing that the fact that he listened was what made everything about the impending conversation that much harder. She grabbed a plate from the cupboard and sat it out placing the slices of sandwich on it, "Milk?"

"Chocolate?"

"Unless you want plain." She teased.

"No!" He grinned, "Chocolate is better."

Olivia smiled, leaned over the counter and kissed his forehead softly, "My thoughts exactly, Son." She retrieved the milk and poured his into a tumbler cup. Smiling to herself, she found her hand opting for a tumbler cup for her own milk, "So, you're dad told me you we're having a hard time with your science, need me to look at it?" She asked taking the stool next to him.

"Yeah." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Here, Baby." She smiled handing him a slice of the sandwich.

"Plate?" he asked running his small hand over the countertop.

"Lets share this one." She suggested to him, as she slid it closer to him and tapped it with her nail, "We'll share the sandwich and the plate how's that sound?"

He grinned, "Cool."

Olivia smiled watching him bring the sandwich to his mouth, and then trail his tongue between the slices of bread sampling the cherry and peanut butter. He finished his first lick, helped him self to another and then turned the sandwich to start on the other side. She grinned, "Taste good?"

"Yeah, yeah." He assured her licking his lips and grinning.

She looked down at her own triangle and laughed to herself as she mimicked his innocence and ran her tongue along the shape of the bread, "Yeah," She smiled, "That's good." Innocence is good.

Sam felt for his cup, took hold of it and took a drink before replacing it, "Mom?"

"Yeah?" She asked swiping her tongue again and then frowning as he grew more serious and placed his sandwich on the plate, "What is it?"

"Why won't you answer?"

"Excuse me?" She responded not knowing how to respond. She was had, caught by a child that she couldn't bring herself to lie to.

"I asked a question mom."

"Really?" She took another sip from her red tumbler and wanted to sink into some black corner, "When?"

"Mom!" she sang in frustration, "When Odie Fish was at the door, I heard you talking Mom." He told her sliding off of the stool, a small whimper when his foot hit the floor, "I heard, Mom." He told her again and wedged him self between her legs as he talked to her, "Who do you want to hurt, Mommy?" he whispered, and if it were possible for Sam to hurt for someone he didn't know, Olivia could have sworn she heard a since of worry for the man in his voice and a since of concern for her.

He leaned against her and she let her hands cover his back in an embrace, "Sam, I don't know how to explain this to you." She whispered her confession, "I don't know what to say right now."

"Daddy tells me to say the truth…you should listen to daddy." He whispered wrapping his arms around her waist as she sat and he stood leaning into her, "Dad says the truth is the best."

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"Are you sure this is him?" Elliot asked leaning against the wall of the office as Fin and Cragen leaned against the desk.

"That's the hit we got," Fin told him, "But, it's possible it's just a freak coincidence, it's possible that it's not him, we do have a lot more papers to go through."

Elliot stared down at the paper in front of him, "The names don't match though."

"What names?" Cragen asked.

"The files Casey gave up, one of the names was Aivilo Aneres, spell that backwards and you get Olivia Serena, we know that names fake, but, come on," Elliot raised the paper up to the Captain, "Do you really think Nick Ganzner is capable of this, he would have had to beat the hell out of Paul, and believe me when I tell you Paul packs a punch."

"What do you want to do?" Fin asked.

Elliot scoffed, "I want to skin the bastard alive and fry his legs in butter…this isn't conclusive enough to get a warrant, this is basically nothing more than pointing a finger." Elliot pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "I want this guy, it has to be him, but all a judge is going to say is that his car passed our house, blah blah blah…this is a dead end."

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Olivia held her son close, contemplating the words that she would tell him, the words that would make him question her, make him question everything she's told him, prayed for him, and spoke over him. She took in a deep breath, "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really upset with someone…and I don't know what to do."

"Forgive them." He whispered to her, "Give grace, remember? That's what you told me."

She blinked back tears and bit her lip, "Sometimes it's really, super hard to forgive."

"Yeah," he exhaled, "Really super hard to give grandma grace." He told her straightening himself and resting one hand on her thigh the other on her left hand. "Mom?" he asked absently fiddling with her wedding ring.

"Yeah?" she whispered swiping at her tears with her free hand.

"Who do you want to kill?"

She winced at the words that fell from his mouth, in spite of the innocence of his question, it sounded so harsh, it was a sentence that should have never fallen from the lips of an eight year old, she exhaled, "The man who has Isaac."

"The boogie man?" Sam furrowed his brow and pressed his lips, "He's a bad guy Mom, he's really bad." He told her climbing up into her lap, a grunt of discomfort when he used his foot to climb up the rung of the stool.

"He is." She assured him, "Not knowing if this conversation would put Sam in counseling for the rest of his life.

"But, Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"If you kill him, will his family be sad?"

She arched her brow, having never thought of it in that way. As of three seconds ago her world narrowed to killing Nick Ganzner, but now, the blamelessness of the youth in her arms has added another variable to the equation. "I…I didn't think about that, Honey."

"You can't hurt them, Mom." He whispered, " I want the boogieman to leave us alone too, I want to hear my brother too, but…Mom?"

She pawed her tears, "Yeah honey?"

"If you kill the boogieman…won't daddy have to use his badge and take you away from me?"

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"I'll call Casey and see what we can get done here." Cragen informed Elliot.

"No." Elliot exhaled, "Let Liv."

"Excuse me?" Cragen furrowed his brow, "Do you think she's up for that?"

Elliot pressed his lips together, "Olivia and Casey…they're sort of rebuilding their friendship, they had a falling out after the cemetery, I think this will be good for Olivia to confide in Casey and ask for help and I think Casey needs to know that we still want her on our side."

Cragen nodded his head, "Okay, but if I don't hear from you, I'll call Casey after the Morris Commission meeting."

"Again?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "What? Are you taking up residence at the Commission?"

"Hardly." Cragen smirked, "Politics…I'm a pencil pusher, Stabler, meetings are what I do…speaking of which." Cragen looked at his watch, "I'm really sorry, but I've got to get going."

"So, do I." Fin told them, "I've got court in the morning and apparently a new partner."

Elliot smiled faintly, "You excited."

"Hell no." Fin smacked his lips, "Got to train someone...I'm not a dog trainer, and I don't like people, what the hell am I suppose to do with a newbie?"

"Maybe it'll be a veteran of the force." Elliot offered his hope.

Fin exhaled, "Anyone coming into this squad, no matter how seasoned, is a rookie…nothing prepares a cop for what we see."

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"I don't want daddy to take you away from me, Mom." Sam whispered into her chest, "I love you, Mom, I'll miss you too much and my heart will heart again."

She blinked out her tears, keeping her eyes closed in hopes that this was simply a nightmare, a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from. Yet when she felt him take in a ragged breath against her shirt, when she felt his tiny hands wrap around her hips, she knew she'd caused him undue worry, she knew she'd hurt his heart. She bowed her head and kissed the crown of his, "You're daddy won't take me away from you, I promise you Sam." She whispered.

"But if you do a bad thing…you'll do _serious_ time, like the carrot, like what Odie Fish said," he hiccupped and wiped his face on her shirt, "I don't want you to be away from me, Mommy."

"Hey," she forced a small smile and pulled him back up into her lap so his feet wrapped around her, "I'm not leaving you." She whispered, "I didn't mean what I said." _Well, I didn't mean for you to hear it. _"I'm really frustrated, and I'm so scared right now, Baby."

"You're scared?" He asked pulling back and sitting more squarely on her lap.

"Yeah, Honey, I'm scared, that I won't see my son again."

"But the boogieman told me he has him…why can't you and daddy take you're badges and go to his house and get my brother? I want to meet my brother." He assured her.

She smiled softly at his logic and rested her forehead against his, "I'm glad you want to know who you're brother is…it's a little hard, though, there are laws that we have to follow and things have to be done by the rules so that we get Isaac back, and the boogieman never, _ever_, bothers you again."

"Mom?" he rested his fingers on the sides of her face.

"Yeah, Sweet Pea?"

"Daddy won't take you from me?" He asked feeling her face softly.

She knew what he was doing, feeling her face for stress, for evidence of a lie, "He won't." she assured him and quickly yet softly removed his hands before he could sense her stress. She knew there would be no way that Elliot would ever arrest her, but she also knew, that there were consequences for your actions. She touched his cheek softly, "I have five really fantastic reasons to make good decisions."

"Five?" He furrowed his brow, "What five?"

"Well," She smiled, "There's you're Daddy, he's a very special to me."

"I like him too." Sam giggled.

She caressed his cheek, kissed his forehead lightly, "There's you…you make me smile so much."

He brought his hands up to her larger one and grinned, "You make me smile, Mom."

"Let's see," She smiled thankful for this young man she held, "The third reason for me to make good decisions is you're brother…we'll get him back, and he'll be happy to meet you." She whispered holing back her tears.

"Will he like me?"

"Yes." She assured him.

"Is he big or little?"

Olivia closed her eyes and bit her lip, "He's almost two."

Sam smiled, "He's little, I'm gonna be a _big_ brother to a lot of _little_ brothers."

She chuckled, "Which brings me to my other reasons for making good decisions," She told him resting his hands on her belly, " I have four beautiful children to remind me to do things the right way." She whispered to him, then smiled, "A lot of brothers? I thought you said a boy _and_ a girl?"

"Probably." He shrugged, "But a lot of brothers would be cool, 'cause I have a cool Daddy and a pretty mommy, I love my family." He smiled and rested his head on her shoulder.

"I love that you love us." She whispered rubbing his back with her hand and then furrowing her brow at a thought, "Sam?"

"Mom?" he grinned pulling back and adjusting his bottom in her lap.

"Sam, when you introduced yourself to Fin tonight, you said you we're nine, you're eight, remember."

He shook his head, "No, I'm nine."

"Baby," She grinned, "When you came to stay with us you were eight, how could you suddenly be nine?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders and slid out of her lap, a whimper, when his foot hit the ground.

"Hey, how's that foot?" she frowned at the sound.

"It hurts me, Mom." He whispered, "A lot."

"Hmm, want me to take another look at it?"

He grinned, "And kiss it to make it feel better?"

"Absolutely!" She grinned, "Want to finish your sandwich? I have to go talk to you're Daddy really quick."

"Okay." He agreed and re-claimed his stool seat, happily eating his sandwich as if a painfully deep conversation hadn't just taken place between the two of them.

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"Hey guys." Olivia peeked into the office to see Cragen and Fin slipping their jackets back on, "Leaving? I'm sorry, Sam…was having a hard time."

"Don't apologize." Cragen smiled softly, "It's understandable, children are impressionable." He grinned, "And to think…you've got two more impressionable minds on the way."

Fine raised his brow and turned to Olivia, "What?"

She blushed bowing her head and slipping hair behind her neck, "Yeah, sorry, I've been meaning to tell you Fin."

"Oh," Fin shook his head in disgust, "Munch would do something like this."

"Like what?" Elliot furrowed his brow.

"Well, I bet him a grand that Liv, here, would have another little ankle biter soon, he said no, I won…he retires. Shmuck stuck me for a grand." Fin shook his head again and smirked, as he hugged Olivia warmly a friendly peck on the cheek, "Congratulations, and if you hear from Munch, he owes me a grand…I've got a suit in mind."

"Hey," Olivia looked at both men, "Before you go, where are we with warrants on Ganzner? Is it enough?"

"Liv," Elliot stepped in, "It's late and Cragen has to be in front of the commission and Fin needs to be in court in the morning."

She furrowed her brows and looked at all three of them, pain beginning to shoot through her belly. She controlled her breathing as much as possible as she watched them, he hand absently going to her abdomen, "It's not enough is it?"

"Well," Cragen exhaled, "It's hard to say, um…the fact that his car was near your house isn't conclusive and his name never shows up on the sign in log or the medical records…but…we're gonna get this done."

She narrowed her eyes in frustration and increasing anger, "I know it's him…I can feel it." She whispered.

"I know, Olivia." Cragen assured her, "I know…but we got to do this right, or we're screwed and we may never find you're son…the force has certain restrictions o-"

"Screw the force, Don!" She snapped careful of her voice carrying into the kitchen where Sam was eating, "Screw the force, screw the guidelines, screw the protocol, I. Want. My. Son." She ground out.

Cragen bowed his head, "I know you do, which is why I haven't been assigning you two cases, it's why you only process scenes, I know you two spend you're lunch hours either trying to wedge in times to maintain your relationship or your relationships with your Casey and Alex, but I also know that the majority of you're lunches are spent going over Isaac's case files, you're breaks are filled with scenarios and you're desks are littered with information on infant name changes, hand prints, and anything else…I see…I know you want him…we're close Olivia, were close."

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"Hey," Olivia forced a laugh, "You snagged my sandwich?"

Sam bowed his head at the counter to cover his smile, "My tummy was extra hungry."

She tipped his head up, "You don't need to bow you're head to me Baby, I was teasing you."

He giggled, "I was hungry."

"I see." She smiled placing the plate in the sink, "Milk?"

"All done." He assured her raising the orange tumbler to her, "Yours too." He smiled.

"You we're extra thirsty too?" She smiled depositing the dishes in the sink and looking at the clock, "Oh, Baby, we've got to get you to sleep, it's late and you have school."

"My foot? Please make it better, it hurts me." He whispered.

"Let's go see." She whispered picking him up and laughing, "Oh, Sam, you're a sac of cement, buddy."

He giggled, "I get to eat a lot of food now."

She closed her eyes catching the true meaning of what he was telling her, _I use to be skinny because no one bothered to feed me, now I'm a growing boy 'cause you love me._ "Well," She kissed his head caring him to his room, "You're my little sac of cement just the same."

"Be soft Mom." He told her as she laid him on his bed and took his foot into her hand.

"Have I ever been rough with you?" She asked with a smile.

"No." He smiled at her, "But it hurts me."

"Well, I won't lie, it might hurt when I look at it, but I won't hurt you on purpose okay?"

"Kay." He whispered then grinned when Tripod finally made himself known and flopped on the bed next to Sam who pulled him close as she unwrapped the gauze and retrieved the light Elliot had left behind.

"Oh, I see now." She whispered softly, "There is still some glass in there honey."

He furrowed his brow, "Will you fix it so it doesn't hurt?"

"Yeah, but, Honey, it's gonna hurt before it gets better, would rather I did it when you were asleep, that's how me and Daddy did the last piece."

"No." He whispered, "I'm a big boy."

"Okay." He exhaled and waited.

She watched him, watched his breath become shallow, his hands pull at the sheets as she spread the cut with her fingers. She heard him ground his teeth, watched his other leg bed as she inserted the tweezers. She wanted to stop, wanted to wait until he went to bed. How on earth could his father of hurt him, seeing the way he responded to pain, his tiny chest frantically raising up and down, his knuckles white against the sheet. She grasped the tiny shard of glass with the tweezers, "Okay, baby, one…two…three." She pulled it, "All done big boy." She soothed him, not surprised that he didn't make a sound. After all the abuse, he knew not to make a sound when something hurt. It dawned on her in that moment as she cleaned and dressed his tiny foot, that his refusal to scream at pain was probably the only reason why he didn't scream with Nick Ganznar had his disgusting hands him.

Nick had his hands on her son.

She was going to kill him.

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"Sam is going to be a very sleepy little boy, tomorrow" Elliot whispered snaking his hands around her waist and holding her tightly against him.

"Yeah." She exhaled and leaned back into him, "What do you think about Ganzner? Think it's enough?"

"I think…I think maybe you should talk to Casey, I asked Cragen to let you do it, I'll go with you if you'd like."

"Why did you think I'd want to do it?" She asked out of curiosity.

"I thought it would held your relationship with Casey, I know you guys are starting to get back on track, she'd feel really good if you asked her for help."

"Yeah," Olivia exhaled, "I hadn't thought about it that way, I'll call her tomorrow morning."

"I just did."

"Huh?"

"I called her and asked to leave her lunch time open for you." He informed her.

"How do you know I would have done it?" She arched a brow, a small smile playing on her lips.

He shrugged against her, "You love her, you want that friendship solid again."

"You know me." She whispered and reached back to touch his face, "Thank you."

'No problem," he told her kissing the palm of her hand as she withdrew it, "do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I think I can do it alone." She whispered.

"You know you don't _have to_ do it alone, right?" He assured her.

"Yeah, I know." She turned in his embrace, "but, I think you're right, I think it might help Casey to know that I still value our friendship, we're doing a ton better, but I think she's still is antsy, I feel it, you know?"

"Yeah, but you guys are pulling through just fine." He assured her, a gentle kiss placed on her forehead.

"El?"

"Liv?"

"Are we gonna find him?" she whispered resting her head on his shoulder, "Are we gonna find our son?"

He kissed her through her hair, "Absolutely."

She exhaled, kissed his neck tenderly and buried her face in him, "Thank you…I needed to hear that."

"How was Sam?"

"Good, there was still a little shard of glass, I pulled it out. He ate his sandwich…and mine." She chuckled, "He's gaining weight."

"He needs to." Elliot whispered, and smiled, noticing they'd taken to swaying back in forth in the middle of the kitchen, a small, silent dance with one another as they spoke.

"He wanted to know if you would use you're badge to take me away." She whispered, "I told him you wouldn't, promised him I'd make good decisions."

"Sounds like he scolded you." Elliot chuckled.

"Sort of." She smiled softly, "But it was good…what do you think he'll grow up to be?"

"Something great…like his, Mom." He whispered.

"I think he'll be a preacher…the way he comes at me, very direct, to the point, forgiveness, grace and all that." She chuckled, "He'd be good at it…he's gentle." She whispered, "He's beautiful, you know that?"

"You created a monster," He teased then kissed her forehead softly, "Yes I do know that little boy is beautiful." Elliot smiled at her, "Although, not nearly as beautiful as the woman I get to wake up to."

She rested her forehead against his, her hands on his chest while his rested protectively on her hips, quiet movements, serious conversation, and gentle caresses. "How are my little girls." He whispered into her ear.

She grinned, "Oh," she cocked a brow, "So now they're your little _girls_?"

He smirked, "A man can change his mind can't he?"

She smiled, "Our little boys are…bothering me actually." Her sentence bringing a frown with it.

"What?" He furrowed his brow, their gentle sway ceasing immediately as his hand caressed her belly, "What's wrong?"

"Mmm, not sur. I think maybe, my eating schedule needs to be adjusted…I was talking to Sam and sort of had some pain."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "Like with Isaac?"

She thought about it, "Not as intense, but Elliot, let's not stress out, could be gas you know, I drank two sodas today, and I'm not use to it."

"Two?"

She laughed as they started moving again, "So sick."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?"

"You rested with me." She smiled, "That's all I wanted."

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"Hey, sorry I'm late." Olivia apologized slipping into the booth and furrowing her brow at Casey who sat nervously on the other side.

"Oh, Case." Olivia starred at her and tilted her head, "What happened?"

Casey ran her hand through her hair, "That bad?"

"No…actually, blond looks good on you…but I know how you loved your red hair, what happened?"

"Apparently, they couldn't get it to go back to red and one thing led to another and long story short, I ended up like this." She huffed and folded her arms across her chest, "I couldn't even think in opening arguments today, I felt like everyone was starring at me like I was some sort of Marcia Clark or something."

Olivia chuckled, "I think it looks good, it compliments your skin tone."

"You're biased." Casey smiled opening the menu.

"Nope, believe me I'd tell you if it looked bad, hell, I thought I was gonna have to pay to get the jet black look gone, you looked like Marilyn Manson." Olivia teased.

"Too sweet." Casey rolled her eyes as she perused the menu, "So, want to tell me why I got a call from Elliot while I was in the middle of having sex with my husband?"

"Casey!" Olivia starred at her in shock.

"Hey," Casey shrugged, "it was after eleven and neither one of us could sleep." She smiled and winked, "Serves you right for calling after ten."

"Well," Olivia blushed, "I'm sorry he…interrupted you," she chuckled and opened her menu, "Please tell me you at least took a break while you talked to him?"

"Plead the fifth." Casey smiled slyly.

Olivia's eyes widened, "I'm totally going to tell him."

"I think he knows." She giggled, "I tried to tell him I came in from a run, but Paul thrus-"

"Hey!" Olivia raised her hands, "I so can't hear this."

"Okay," Casey pouted, "I promise I wont tell you how Paul made me yelp on the phone."

Olivia closed her eyes and smirked, "I feel violated."

"Shut up." Casey shook her head and smiled, "Come on, what's up? He sounded worried and you look like death warmed over."

"Too sweet." Olivia mocked her and exhaled.

"Oh," Casey leaned forward, "Is this about the 'little bit dirty' thing?"

Olivia groaned and bowed her head realizing she hadn't told Casey anything, "Casey."

"Ooh," Casey winced, "What happened."

Olivia squirmed, this was not what she came to talk about, "You mean besides making a fool of myself? Nothing." She puffed out her cheeks and was saved when the waitress came and they both placed their orders and when the waitress excused herself, Casey went back to pounce.

"Come on…what happened?" she exhaled, "Talk, get it out, you'll find you're normal."

Olivia turned to stare out the window and absently rubbed the back of neck, "I'm anything but normal." She whispered so quietly Casey wondered if she meant to say it.

"How do you figure?" Casey asked taking a sip of water and frowning, "Man, city water is gross."

"I prefer bottled." Olivia agreed, "You know, Aquafina makes thi-"

"Stop avoiding the subject." Casey arched her brows, "Look, I'm not trying to push you for intimate information for the sake of knowing. I know you're private, I know you don't like opening you're bedroom for others, but we're friends, maybe I can give you a different perspective."

Olivia ducked her head and ran a tendril of hair behind her ear, "It didn't go well…at all."

"Why?" Casey asked motioning the waitress back to her, "Two bottles of water please." The waitress nodded and returned to fetch the requested items.

"Well, actually it started out really sweet, he made me a bubble bath…joined me, we we're talking, one thing led to another and I thought it was sink or swim."

"So you, what? Sunk?"

"In a manner of speaking, yeah." She smacked her lips, "I didn't even know how to start the conversation off, it just…it doesn't sound right to me…it's so close to our job, so close to what the perps sound like, you know?"

"Yeah, I see what you're saying." Casey agreed and smiled when the waitress lowered a Philly cheese steak in front of Casey and a hamburger in front of Olivia.

"Geeze, Case, do you ever eat anything besides that?"

"Nope." Casey grinned, "Not here anyways, these are the best…but back to the topic at hand…what went so wrong?"

"Casey," Olivia groaned and ran her hand through her hair, "This sucks." She huffed,

"Sure does." Casey agreed looking at her sandwich, "She forgot the cream cheese…how do you _forget_ the crème cheese?"

"Case!" Olivia motioned with her arms, "I'm kind of telling you something important."

"I'm sorry." Casey confessed, "And for the record, "Crème cheese, is also important."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Look, long story short, I didn't even know how to start it, so he did, at first I thought I could handle it, but…" he voice trailed off as she poured A-1 sauce in the corner of her plate.

"But?"

Olivia lowered her head, "Oliver, said things to me." She whispered, "That's really why I didn't want to, part of it is the job but the biggest was Oliver."

Casey exhaled at the confession and sat up, "Olivia, that's totally understandable, I wish you'd of told me that, I would have never encouraged you to do it."

"Not you're fault…I just thought, I could get through it, you know? Plaster on a smile, fake an orgasm and call it a day."

Casey furrowed her brow, "Olivia? Do you love you're marriage?"

"What? Absolutely!" Olivia assured her.

"Then do not _ever_, I mean _ever_, fake an orgasm…_never_." Casey told her, "Biggest mistake you'll have ever made if he finds out…don't do it, don't go there…trust me, on that one."

"Really?"

"Really." Casey responded seriously.

"Well, neither one of us came close to having one after I pushed him off and called him Oliver, so I suppose I don't have to worry about the faking." She shook her head and tilted it back on the booth in aggravation, "Sex is frustrating." She joked lamely.

Casey laughed, "Cause you're making it frustrating."

"What?"

"Look, I know that what happened with Oliver…well, it shouldn't have happened, and I know it did something to you, I understand that you didn't want to do this, I get it now, but can I ask you something?"

"Because this conversation can only get more uncomfortable." Olivia groaned.

"What was the last straw? Did you have a flash back?" Casey asked, voice full of compassion and warmth.

"You read the file…you heard the testimony from my trial?"

"Yeah." Casey shook her head, "I remember it."

Olivia swallowed, "Just, it was like...he slowly changed into Oliver. His body, his smell, his lips, hands, breath…and he said something that was almost identical to what Oliver said, and I completely lost my mind, jumped out of the bed, took our son and left."

"What did Elliot do?"

"What do you think?" Olivia whispered.

"Called out the Calvary and found you?" Casey smiled, "That man loves you."

"He found me in less than two hours…he knows me too well." She offered a small smile.

"He loves you so much." Casey corrected.

"I know." Olivia agreed, "He _apologized_ to me…I'm the one who put _him_ in an awkward position and he apologized to _me_." She shook her head, "I'm such an ass."

"Ah," Casey waved her hand, "I'm sure he understand, did you guys talk it out?"

"Yeah, he hasn't tried to make a move…wants me to."

"He wants to give you room…that's commendable."

"Yeah." Olivia whispered pushing her plate away, suddenly not hungry. She motioned for the waitress as she walked by, "May I have a sprite or seven up please?"

"Sure." The waitress smiled and retreated.

"Sick?"

"Not sure." She whispered rubbing her belly, "I think these girls are using my ribs as monkey bars or something…they play all night long. I love feeling them move, but come on, I need sleep." She smiled, "Between Sam's wake up calls to talk, and these little ones competing in the Belly Olympics, I'm not sleeping too well."

"Pain or sick?" Casey frowned.

"Pain then sick then nothing." Olivia furrowed her brow, "I think I'm gonna schedule an appointment, I didn't want to worry Elliot, but, I don't like the feeling."

"Probably a good idea." Casey told her withdrawing her cell phone and passing it to her, "Call now."

"Why now?"

"Because if someone doesn't force you too, you'll convince yourself that everything is okay."

"Smart Alec."

"Impossible," She smirked, "I'm blond now."

Olivia retrieved her own cell and smiled, "Got it on memory." She informed Casey and made the phone call scheduling the appointment for later in the day after work. "Happy?" Olivia asked shutting the phone.

"Good girl." Casey grinned. "Now then, back to what we we're talking about…why is sex so frustrating to you?"

"It's not frustrating, Case." She puffed out her cheeks, "I absolutely love being with Elliot, but this one thing threw me for a loop big time, and I think I scared the crap out of him…I'm just a little nervous about getting back into the swing of things."

"I'm sure Elliot is gonna understand." Casey assured her.

"I know he does." Olivia smiled softly, "I just…I…this is gonna sound crass, but, I want him to be as satisfied as I am and It bothers me that I couldn't give this to him." She exhaled as the waitress brought her soda to her, a small smile given before leaving the table.

Casey smiled at Olivia and leaned closer to her, "I don't like anal sex."

Olivia choked on her soda, "That's…that's good to know…I guess." She blushed.

Casey chuckled, "I'm telling you that because I tried it once with Paul, and I didn't like it, and we haven't done it since…and he's not upset about it, I don't think Elliot will be upset with you."

"But-"

"Olivia…if you think Elliot really cares about hearing you say, cock, titties, 'oh baby screw me now' then you're sorely mistaken, believe me when I tell you, that he wants to be with you and he's not gonna care if you won't talk to him like that, or if you don't want to be talked to like that…believe me. Paul?…He wants to be with me no matter what we do, he's happy to be with me, and I'm happy to be with him."

Olivia blushed, "You tell me way too much."

Casey reached out and covered Olivia's hand, "I tell you so you don't feel ashamed…honestly, you and sometimes Alex, are the only two I open my bedroom to."

Olivia dipped a fry into the A-1 sauce, "Thanks…I think."

"I swear I'm gonna start charging you for these sessions." Casey teased.

"How about I pick up the tag?" Olivia offered, "Since you lost our little bet last time."

Casey rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

"Can I ask you something?"

"I already told you," Casey shrugged, "Anal sex just doesn't do it for me."

Olivia closed her eyes trying to hold back the blushing smile, "You are too bold."

"I just like to see you squirm." Casey confessed, "What's on you're mind?"

"Nick Ganzner." Olivia spoke his name nonchalantly as she toyed with a French fry.

"Wow, um…why?" Casey asked taking a bite of her sandwich and frowning. She stopped the waitress as she walked by, "Excuse me, Can I have some crème cheese?"

"Certainly." The waitress smiled and walked away.

"Why's Ganzner on you're mind?"

"If you were Elliot," Olivia exhaled, "If you were him, would you blame me if Ganzner was the cause of all our pain?"

"Whoa, slow down." Casey shook her head and narrowed her eyes, "Are you telling me that you think its Ganzner?"

Olivia exhaled, "My neighbor saw his car, gave us the number, we got a match for his name but the sign in sheet and files you gave us only show an Aivilo Aneres."

Casey furrowed her brow, "Wait, that sounds familiar." She mulled it over, "It's familiar like I've read it or something, maybe not though…sorry, go ahead."

"I think its him, and I was wondering, if you could get us a warrant?"

"Um, hate to break it to you Olivia, but I can't give you squat, I don't have that kind of power." She smiled, "I have to draw one up and go to a judge but I'm confused."

"About what?"

"Why doesn't Fin just pick him up?"

"On what? Driving to far from the city?"

"How about breaking his restraining order? If his face shows up on those cameras then you know he was around Sam, which means he was around you, which means he broke his retraining order."

Olivia shook her head in confusion, "Casey, his restraining order expired when Isaac was three months old."

"Bull shit, it did!" Casey furrowed her brow, "I've filed a petition of extension every three months like friggin clock work, there's never been a day that he's been allowed within a hundred yards of you or any other Stabler."

Olivia's jaw went slack with shock, "How did you get a restraining order without our signatures?"

"It was a petition for extension." Casey swallowed, "You mad?"

"No." Olivia whispered still in shock, "Case, if he's been under a restraining order, then he's already violated it four times."

"What? Why didn't you say something?"

"Well for starters, I didn't know you had done that." Olivia exhaled, "We could pick him up."

Casey shook her head, "What are you waiting for?"


	18. Chapter 18 Aivilo Aneres

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 18: Aivilo Aneres

A/N" Alright, let's get some things hashed out so there's no confusion. I suppose if you spell the entire name, Aivilo Aneres, backwards form the 'S' to the 'A' then yeah, it comes out to Serena Olivia, however when I meant _backwards_, I meant just the names themselves, as they were written, which would have made it Olivia Serena. But does it really matter? The guy is a nut job? LOL. And as far as the device Olivia will be wearing, my friend was recently equipped with one during her pregnancy, so, yeah, it exists. I might have a few technical things wrong with it, but hey, it's fiction right? LOL Have a good times guys. And thanks for reading, you guys crack my up in you're reviews, I usually read them on my cell phone and just last night I found myself busting a gut in the computer section of Best Buy, everyone looked at me like I was loopy, then again I am loopy…alright, I'm done. LOL

Olivia made her way, as quickly as possible, back into the bullpen. The fact that Casey had actually kept the restraining order in affect was news she was frantic to tell Elliot. She was just about to turn the corner to the bullpen when she was suddenly stopped, a sharp pain shooting through her belly. She stopped and leaned against the wall, momentarily in an effort to breath through the pain. As fast as it came it disappeared, "You're killing me girls." Olivia smiled nervously and continued heading to Elliot.

"Fin?" Olivia walked in tossing her work bag in her chair, "Where's Elliot?"

"The head." Fin muttered through lips that held his pencil as he flipped through a file.

"Captain?"

"Office." He muttered again and looked up at her, removing the pencil, "You look like crap."

Olivia arched a brow, "It's a wonder you're not married."

"Maybe I'm too good looking for the women," He shrugged, "Maybe they can't handle it."

"Or maybe you're bedside manner is crap?" She suggested, "Or maybe you're just full of crap? You pick." She teased then winced and slowly pushed her work bag from her chair and sat down.

"Sick?"

"Yeah." She exhaled, "Hey, when is you're partner getting here?"

"Who the hell cares?" Fin muttered, "I sure as hell don't."

"Miss Munch?"

"Nope."

"You're such a liar." She told him resting her forehead on her desk, her hands around her middle.

"He's not from the hood he's-"

"I know, I know," Olivia groaned, "He's not family and he doesn't owe you money…hate to break it to you Fin, but he was family." She muttered against the desk, "He was all of our family and we all miss him. So get the hoodlum stick out of you're butt and admit that you miss your partner." She told him raising her head only to rest it on her forearm, "I'm so sick." She groaned.

As if those were magical words to be spoken a 7up was placed by her hand, the cold of it forcing her to look up, a faint smile on her face, "Thank you, El." She muttered and looked over to Fin who simply continued with his paperwork.

"You look terrible." He smiled and kissed her softly on the head, always willing to sneak a peck when the captain wasn't around.

"Seems to be the theme today." She muttered sitting up in her chair and opening the soda. She took a sip and exhaled, "El, I need to talk to you."

"Shoot." He smiled taking a sip of her soda when she sat it back on the table.

"Can we go into an interrogation room?" She asked standing slowly, her hand absently rubbing her belly as if it alone could sooth the nausea that was consuming her. "Is it hot in here?" she asked as they walked to interrogation room number two.

"No…you okay, Liv? You seriously don't look well." He informed her as if perhaps she didn't already know that.

"Mmm," She pressed her lips and slowly took a seat, "You got any emergency rations?"

Elliot pulled a plastic baggy of pretzels out of his suit jacket, "Always." He smiled and passed them to her.

"What if I told you," She exhaled opening the baggie, "That there's a way to pick up Ganzner, without a warrant?"

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "How? Liv…" he scolded her name, "It has to be legal for it to hold."

Olivia smiled faintly, "Well, apparently our over protective friend, slash, ADA has filed for a petition of extension on the restraining order, every three months like clock work." She exhaled, "Even in the hospital, even during her recovery, she was looking out for us."

"Whoa," Elliot blinked in shock, "You're telling me that Ganzner has been under a restraining order this whole time?"

"Yeah." She exhaled and rested her forehead against the table, "El?"

"Well get hi-"

"El, I don't feel well." She whispered, "Something is wrong."

Elliot stood to his feet almost knocking over his chair in an effort to get to her. He took in a sharp breath when he felt her, cold skin in spite of summer temperatures, "Look at me." He told her cupping her face in his hands, "Let's go, we're going to the doctor." He told her helping her to her feet.

She leaned into him, "I have an appointment for later today."

"Nope." He ushered her carefully to the door, "We go now…no fighting, don't argue with me, move you're feet." He told her.

She smiled faintly, "Pushy."

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"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Elliot chanted crossing the small examination room with a pink pale and holding it under Olivia's chin as she vomited for the third time since leaving the bull pen and telling Fin to pass the situation along to Cragen.

"El?" She whispered pushing the pale away, "Elliot, something isn't right." She confessed.

"The doctor is gonna be here in just a second." He assured her as he helped her lay down, she closed her eyes and took in breath willing the nausea and pain away. Her body cold under the sorry excuse of a gown. She smiled faintly feeling his hand slip under her gown and caress her belly.

"Trying to get in my panties in the hospital?" She teased softly, "How romantic."

"No." He whispered laying his head on the mattress as he continued to rub her belly, "Just trying to calm my babies down." He assured her, smiling when his hand made contact with tape and then ear buds to the IPOD, "What are they listening to?" he asked, knowing she must have started this same practice again, not wanting the babies to hear the voices of perps walking through the precinct, the language of seasoned cops, or the stories of victims.

She rummaged around under the gown and pulled out the device, smiling at the title and showing it to Elliot, "Apparently, second Samuel." She whispered, rolling to her side and caressing Elliot's face, "They're gonna be okay."

He nodded his head and smiled softly, "I know…second Samuel, huh?"

She grinned softly, her skin still pale, still clammy to the touch, "I want them to have a chance you know, I want them to…know God like I didn't. I want them to understand him."

Elliot smiled and kissed her open palm, "Bible on Ipod?"

"Yeah…stupid?"

"No…beautiful." He whispered and rubbed her belly softly, "Can they listen to music though too?" he asked, "I mean what if they only recognize the readers voice or something?"

"Um…I'm the reader." She smiled, "I use the recorder on the Ipod when I can't sleep or I'm reading to Sam…kills three birds with one stone." She shrugged, "They'll know our voice."

"They won't know mine." He whispered through a frown, "I want to read with you, I want to record my voice too."

She grinned softly and simply looked at him, "I'd like that."

He kissed her mouth adoringly, "I love you."

Before she could tell him that she loved him too, the knock at the door brought them both back into the reality of the matter at hand. Elliot grasped her hand in a tender squeeze; she exhaled, and called back to the door, "Come in."

"Hey," Dr. Wesson smiled walking into the room, "What brings you back to me so soon?" he asked, looking at the pink pale and then discarding its contents into the hazardous waste, "I take it, you're not feeling well?"

"What gave you that impression?" Olivia asked with a tired smile as she sat up slowly.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that's not what you're food looked like when you ate it." The doctor smiled, "What's happening?"

"Sick." She confessed, "I feel almost like I have the flu, and I've been having these shooting pains in my stomach."

"Have you felt any movement?" The doctor asked pulling latex gloves from a box, lube from the drawer. Inwardly Olivia groaned.

"Yeah, all night long, these little ones are up, playing and keeping me _wide_ awake." She managed a chuckle.

"Go ahead and lay back down." He instructed and looked at Elliot who narrowed his brows at the very thought of another man looking at his wife, "Relax Mr. Stabler, it's my job, I have a gorgeous wife at home." He assured him with a chuckle.

"Just remember that." Elliot muttered.

Olivia pulled on Elliot's forearm gently, eyes telling him to stop torturing the young doctor.

"He always this protective of you, Mrs. Stabler?" The doctor smiled up at Elliot and winked, "Relax, I think it's nice that you care so much for you're wife, society is messed up today, it doesn't value marriage, doesn't value the vows or the wedding bed, you two are a diamond in the rough…I'm starting." He informed her.

She smiled and squeezed Elliot's hand, " He's only protective of me twenty five hours a day, eight days a week." _And honestly, I love it. _

The doctor smiled, "How are you eating?"

"Um," Olivia winced and clamped down on Elliot's hand, feeling the doctor's trespass, she groaned.

"Whoa, what happened?" The doctor peered up to meet her eyes, "That hurt you?"

"Yeah…PC muscles." She blushed, "Little nervous…when is my doctor coming back?"

Dr. Wesson smiled compassionately, "She'll be back in time for you're delivery don't worry." He peered down at her chart and shook his head, "Okay, no problem, we'll have to go a little slower."

Elliot turned his back on the doctor preferring to look at Olivia rather than a man encroaching on his territory. "How ya doing?" he whispered rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Fine." She whispered and unwillingly released a tear to which he wiped, "Not really feeling well." She confessed and clutched his hand harder as the doctor continued his exam.

"Are you almost done?" Elliot asked still looking down at his wife.

"Yep…you want to hear heartbeats?" He asked standing and removing his gloves.

"Yes!" Olivia managed to grin, an action that seemed to zap her strength, but not the flicker of joy in her eyes, "But don't tell us if they're boy's or girl's, we just want to listen to their hearts." She reminded him.

"Sounds good to me…what about you Pops?" He asked looking at Elliot who seemed to still be perfectly content looking at his wife.

"Whatever she wants." He whispered.

"Alright…cold." The doctor informed Olivia as he adjusted her gown, draping a cloth over her legs. She winced at the change in temperature against her skin, then smiled once the doctor brought the two babies up on the screen, "Ah," He grinned pulling out a pen and using it as a pointer, "Baby number one," he pointed and let Elliot and Olivia focus in on the tiny life, "and over here, we have baby number two, both perfectly healthy, and," he made a few adjustments, "There it is."

Elliot and Olivia grinned hearing the rapid heartbeats of their babies, grinned at knowing that they were okay, and grinned knowing both of them were crying like a bunch of babies themselves. Elliot laughed and kissed her forehead gently, "I love you so much." He whispered, smiling when her hands caressed his face.

"I love you." She whispered, a gentle kiss placed at the corner of his mouth.

"Alright, Mrs. Stabler." The doctor grinned, "Shall we print these two beautiful babies out?"

"Please." Elliot answered in a whisper as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly before pressing it to his cheek.

She furrowed her brow, a small smile evident on her face not knowing exactly what was running through Elliot's mind, just knowing that something changed in this specific moment, made him softer than normal. She smiled.

"Alright," the doctor grinned at the two as the photos printed, he handed them to Elliot, "If you take those to the receptionist, she'll give you a cute frame."

"Free gifts." Elliot waggled his brow at his wife, "Sorry, Honey, but I'm gonna have to stand you up for the frame."

She rolled her eyes, "Well, then, make sure you get two."

He kissed her again and left.

"Alright, you're babies are doing good," he assured her, "I do however, want you to try and regulate you're eating schedule and get more sleep, the pain and the nausea can sometimes be attributed to stress, you're gonna have to find a way to calm your self, are we clear?"

Olivia smiled and gave a playful salute, "Perfectly."

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"Mr. Stabler?" Dr. Wesson called to Elliot just has he was trying to convince the receptionist he was having triplets and should therefore receive three free frames.

"Yeah?" Elliot's face flushed red with guilt.

"A word please?" Dr. Wesson ushered him deeper down the hall.

"What's the matter?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "She okay?"

The doctor crossed his arms over his chest, "Yes and No."

"Kind of a crappy answer." Elliot remarked.

"Look, I didn't tell her this because she's already under too much stress, she knows she has to get it under control, but I'm telling you right now, that if she doesn't get the stress under control, if she doesn't keep food down and start getting sleep…you _will_ loose you're babies."

Elliot swallowed. "What?"

The doctor exhaled, "I'm not trying to scare the crap out of you, Elliot," the doctor's voice switching from doctor to confidant, "Here's the deal, I'm allowing her back at work, desk duty only and I'm almost gonna guarantee you that it won't last long, she can't be under stress. I don't even want her watching horror movies…that's how serious this is, are you following me?"

"You said the babies were fine." Elliot whispered in a daze, "I have frames," he held them up as if that made everything okay, "You said they were okay."

The doctor placed his hand on Elliot's shoulder, "Right now, yes, you're children are well, but what I'm trying to tell you is that you're wife isn't out of the woods yet, get her calm, get her rested and get her fat…she's underweight for twins."

Elliot arched his brow, "She's chunky." He smiled faintly.

"She needs to eat."

"She can't hold food down, nothing agrees with her." Elliot exhaled.

"Then you'd better find something that does." The doctor instructed.

"What ever it is that has her wound up…needs to be dealt with…look I have another patient, I have to go. But, the nurses are outfitting her with a device to monitor the babies, this way we can keep a closer tab on them…they'll make it, you just got to get you're wife to settle."

Elliot sucked in air, they had so much thrown at them in the years that they'd been together, he smiled knowing that they didn't fight about taking out the trash, or not getting the laundry in the hamper, they didn't fight about that ridiculous stuff because it paled in comparison to what they were up against, "Getting her to settle down is like asking me compete in the Tour de France."

"Well," the doctor smirked, "I hope you look in spandex."

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"Hey." Olivia spoke softly as she came back into the waiting room where Elliot stood, happily awaiting her.

"Hey," he grinned wrapping his arm around her and kissing her head softly, "How is my gorgeous wife?"

"Still pregnant." She beamed softly, "Although now I look like some sort of robot or something." She informed him pointing to her wires and the pack that went around her waist, "He said they're fine but it's a precaution."

Elliot smiled softly and ushered her out the door, "Better safe than sorry."

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"What do you want for lunch?" Elliot asked as Olivia slowly sat on the couch.

"I'm not hungry." She spoke softly, "My stomach is still a little upset."

"What did you eat today?" He asked moving around the kitchen.

"Um…a French fry and some pretzels."

"Well, then you'd better pick what you're gonna eat otherwise I'm picking myself…and you and I both know you don' t always like my choices."

"El, I'm n-"

"Pick!" he snapped.

Olivia furrowed her brow and stood slowly. As she walked to him, she watched him shake his head in frustration, sloppily open a cabinet and pull out a can of soup. She snaked her hands around his waist, "Hey." She whispered kissing his shoulder through his dress shirt.

He swallowed and rested his hand over hers, "I didn't mean to snap…you just look a little underweight and we need to get some food in you." He whispered.

She leaned her cheek against the strength of his back and held him; "I'm the same weight I was when I was pregnant with Isaac around this time." She assured him.

He exhaled, "You need to gain more weight with twins, Liv. You need to. Please." He whispered.

She took a step back and softly pulled on his shoulders so that he faced her, his eyes red and watery, "Hey." She smiled softly and caressed his face, "If a fat wife is what you want," she teased, "I can stuff my face all day long."

He closed his eyes, leaned his forehead against hers, his voice so foreign to her ears, "I don't want a fat wife," he whispered, "I want a healthy wife and healthy babies." He assured her, a gentle kiss placed at the corner of her mouth. Too gentle.

She pulled back, framed his face in his hands so she could gauge his reaction, "What aren't you telling me?"

"I love you." He whispered, covering her hands with his, "I love you so much."

She smiled, "I know you do…little boy, little boy, he went that way." She teased.

He furrowed his brow, "What?"

"El, you look like a little boy who just lost his puppy," she smiled, "What's happening? What's got you all riled up, you were happy at the doctor's offi-" her eyes went wide, her hand down to the pack around her waist, she looked up, narrowed her vision in fear, "What?"

"Liv-"

"You've got three seconds to tell me what's wrong." She warned, "What did he say? What's wrong with the babies, why didn't he tell me?" she barked.

"Olivia." He stepped closer pulled her reluctant body into an embrace needing to calm her immediately, "They're fine right now." He whispered feeling the tenseness of her body, "Both of them are fine."

"Right now? What does that mean?" She whispered holding tightly to him, "Tell me, please."

He broke the embrace, framed her face with his hands, watched her cover his with hers, watched her wedding ring sparkle in the light. Remembered when Cragen had finally caught them, or at least had finally confronted them, "It means, that we have to keep you rested, we have to keep you relaxed and we have to get some more weight on you."

"What exactly did he tell you, and why didn't he tell me?" she whispered.

"I think he wanted it to come from me in case you reacted badly, I think he knew there was a better shot of calming you in you're home, with me." He assured her, "He told me to ensure you have rest, which means you'll be in bed by nine-"

"Wha-"

He placed his fingers on her lips, "You'll be in bed at nine, I'm not saying you have to be asleep but they're wont be anymore late night cleanings, or grocery runs or anything else you tend to do late at night."

She arched her brow seductively, "You sure you want to put that restriction on me?"

"I want you healthy." He told her in all seriousness, "You're eating needs to be adjusted, which means I will turn this house inside out to find something you're stomach can handle, I'll pack you a lunch for the precinct, no more vending machine sandwiches or restaurant runs, and you'll eat three meals like you're suppose to, no more munching through the day and then eating a big dinner."

"You're pretty demanding." She smiled softly and rested her head on his shoulder, "What else do you want from me?" she asked hugging him tight.

"No horror flicks with Casey, and you're gonna kill me when I tell you this, but, not only are you on desk duty at work, but…you've been brought down to a five hour shift."

"What!" she yelped looking at him, "Why?"

"The doc thinks it's better, you're eight to one for a couple of months until the doc gives the go ahead to be back on an eight." He assured her, "You'll be able to spend more time with Sam, you'll be able to catch up on the reading you've been wanting to do and I asked Cragen to let you take work home if you wanted…we both know you're gonna, may as well have asked."

She exhaled and he braced himself for a fight, but instead felt his wife step closer, lay her cheek against his chest, "Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Yeah, I needed someone to step in, thank you."

Elliot arched his brow in surprise, Olivia Stabler accepting defeat, allowing someone to step in a make decisions for her? He wondered if at this moment it might be snowing in hell, "You're welcome." He whispered into her ear and stroked her back soothingly, "You're welcome."

"El?"

"Yeah?"

"Tomato?"

"Tomato?" He furrowed his brow, "What? Tomato soup?"

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe I can handle that?"

He smiled, "Tomato it is."

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"Another 7Up?" Elliot asked as she finished her bowl of tomatoes soup.

"No," She smiled, "Actually, that soup really hit the spot, thanks for pushing the issue, I feel like I have second wind."

Elliot smiled softly, "You're a beautiful woman. You know that?"

"Well, my really cute husband keeps tell me that." She grinned, rubbing her belly, "Anymore thoughts as to names?"

"John?" Elliot asked.

"Like, after Munch?"

Elliot smiled, "Yeah…we can have our very own little conspiracy theorist."

Olivia chuckled, "Maybe…what about Isabel…I still really like that name."

"I don't see why you're wasting your time with girl names when they're boys." He teased.

"Probably the same reason you're wasting time on boy names when they're girls." She countered with a sly smile.

"Abraham?" Elliot suggested.

"Sounds old."

"Sounds strong." Elliot corrected and was about to offer another when the phone rang, "I'll get it."

"No, no, please, I need to get up." She assured him and rose taking their bowls with her as she answered the kitchen phone, "Stabler Residence this is Olivia."

It was the sound of her clumsily dropping the bowls in the sink that forced Elliot to turn around and look at her as the color drained from her face, her hands white knuckling the counter top.

"When?" She asked into the phone, "Is he okay?…No, we're coming right now." She hung up the phone and turned to Elliot, "We need to go."

"What's wrong?" he asked rising to his feet.

"Sam…something happened at school, they think he might have gotten into a fight…they're suspending him." She exhaled, "Let's go."

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"Hi," Elliot smiled at the receptionist behind the counter of the school office, "I'm Elliot Stabler this is my wife Olivia, we got a call about our son, Samuel."

"Ah, yes." The receptionist smiled softly, "He is in the nurses office with Mrs. Gray, I'll need you to sign this." She informed them passing a pen to Elliot and sliding a sheet of paper to them.

"What is it?" Elliot asked getting ready to sign the paper. 

"It's a notice that informs you that your son is being suspended for fighting, and that he is being placed on a step, one more fight and he's expelled from this school."

Elliot exhaled and shook his head as he prepared to sign his name only to feel Olivia cover his hand, "We should talk to Sam first, before we sign anything…I mean, come on El, how do you _think_ he got into a fight, it's either he did or he didn't." Olivia turned to the receptionist, "Where's the other kid?"

"There…is no other kid."

Olivia furrowed her brows in irritation, "Last time I checked, mutual combat involved two…that's why it's called mutual."

"Ma'am,-"

"Don't call me Ma'am, my name is Olivia, where is the principal? I'm not signing anything until I speak to my son…now." Olivia exhaled and waited as Elliot placed the pen over the paper, signature un penned.

"The nurses office," The receptionist pointed down the hall, "All the way down the hall, last door on you're right. The principal will be in shortly."

Olivia offered an appeasing smile, "Thank you."

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"Sam?" Olivia poked her head in the nurses office to see her son huddled in the corner sitting on a cot, knees to his chest, head hanging low, glasses gone, eyes of innocence and fear exposed. Alex stood to her feet when Sam made no movement, she ushered Elliot and Olivia out into the hall.

"Hey," Alex smiled softly, "I stayed with him, he hasn't been alone."

"Thank you." Olivia whispered, "What happened?"

"Well, the principal says he's been in a fight."

"But there's no other kid." Elliot interrupted.

"My thoughts exactly, and actually, his injuries aren't-"

"Injuries!" Olivia's eyes grew wide, "What injuries?"

Alex exhaled, "Olivia, I worked toe to toe with you guys long enough to see defensive wounds…he's got him, there's no doubt in my mind, he got into a fight, but it wasn't with a kid at least not one his age."

"What's that mean?" Elliot furrowed his brow, anger snapping into his eyes, "Where's Mr. Douglas? Did he do this?"

Alex placed her hand on Elliot's upper arm, "Douglas was fired shortly after his run in with Sam, there were too many complaints about his harshness, he didn't do this, but,"

"But what?" Olivia looked into the tiny window of the door and say that Sam had shifted and was now lying on his side, asleep in a scared ball.

"Where they found him…what he was saying…the fact that he wouldn't come our for Mrs. Rosafe.-"

"What?" Olivia struggled to keep her voice in check, "What happened Alex?"

"Olivia," Alex bowed her head, "When they finally got me and I got someone to cover my class, I had to use the code word you gave us to get him to come out of restroom again."

Olivia let a tear fall before pawing at it, "We told him if he feels like he's going to be hurt not to go to anyone unless they tell him the word."

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?" She exhaled feeling Elliot's arms snake around her waist.

"There was a hand print…on his face…it's adult." Alex exhaled, "He won't talk to me, he won't talk to anyone."

Elliot raised his eyes to Alex, "Adult?"

"I think so." Alex exhaled, "Which is why, I didn't let the nurse clean him up, I thought you would want to handle this…maybe call Cragen?"

"Can I see him please?" Olivia whispered.

"Yeah, I'll leave yo-"

"No, no, I think he'll want you here, he likes you." Olivia assured her, "He knows you helped him."

"Okay, I'll hang back though." She assured them as they walked into the nurse's office. Alex sat in a plastic chair, Elliot stood against the counter as Olivia sat on the edge of the bed. She moved his sleeping face and let out a small gasp at the hand print on the side of his face, red and swollen she rested her hand over it, her hand smaller than the print.

She ran her hand lightly through his hair as he sucked in a shuddered breath and continued to sleep. She ran her hands along his arms, down to his hands and wanted to cry with what she'd seen. He'd fought so hard, he scratched so hard, that one of his nails came completely out of it's bedding. "Oh, Baby." She whispered and swiped her tears, "El?"

"Yeah?" He choked out.

"Give me you're key chain please."

Elliot pulled his keys from his pocket understanding what she wanted he took the pair of clippers from the ring and passed them to her.

"Thank you." She whispered and began the tedious task of clipping his fingernails as he slept, as she cried silently.

"Here." Alex chimed in softly and offered a small envelope for the clippings before returning to her seat.

Olivia just finished with his last hand and covered his bloodied fingers with band-aids a gentle kiss on his red cheek as the door opened and Ms. Munroe, the principal stepped in. "This is precisely why, I don't condone violence Mrs. Stabler."

Olivia wasn't sure if it was actually possible for someone's blood to drop in temperature, slow in anger, but she was sure hers was ice cold and at a stand still. "Ms. Munroe," Olivia's voice was low, angry and hot, "Perhaps you are simply too much of a lymphatic moron to realize that my son's wounds are defensive, perhaps you are simply too blinded with your own stupidity," Olivia suggested as she stood to her feet and came within feet of the principal, "to realize that the hand print across my son's face was done by a left-handed person, possibly male due to it's size."

Ms. Munroe opened her mouth to speak when Olivia stepped only inches from her, "Shut you're mouth Ms. Munroe." Olivia eyed her, cold, hard, hateful, "I asked you to keep an eye on him, I asked you to look out for my son and you suspend him for protecting himself? You accuse him of being violent when there are obviously no other hurt children? What the hell kind of a person are you to assume that my son is some-"

"Mommy?" Sam's voice was bright, until the pain settled in over his body, "Mommy," he started to wince, "Mommy it hurts me."

Olivia closed her eyes winced at the sound of his voice before turning around, "Hey Sweet Pea Alex said you had a little problem today want to tell me about it?"

He furrowed his brow, his nostrils flared as if trying to identify the people in the room. He pulled on Olivia's shirt, "I don't like Ms. Munroe, she doesn't listen to the truth." He told her.

Olivia held her son close and looked at the principal, "What did you tell her Baby?"

"I told her that the boogieman was trying to take me home."

At once all three people in the room narrowed their eyes at the principal. "Is that what my son told you?" Elliot asked between clench teeth.

"Yes, but I should tell you that he is far too old to believe in the boogieman, and we simply do not-"

Perhaps it was out of irritation, perhaps it was out of the sheer desire to want to catch a perp again, to want to help in any manner she could, or perhaps it was the infuriation of having a woman neglect a little boy that she thought of as both son and nephew, what ever it was, it cause Alex to raise from her seat and grab Ms. Munroe by the arm and forcing her out into the hallway and into an office across the hall.

Elliot and Olivia stared in shock at the actions of their friend. "Hey Sweetie, go back to sleep okay, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you." Olivia told him.

"Alex is ripping into her." Elliot murmured looking out the door, "Big time."

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"I can't believe you would do that!" Alex barked.

"Do you like you're job Mrs. Gray?" The principal asked stepping closer to Alex.

Alex furrowed her brow, "Are you threatening to fire me?"

"Take it as you will, but I will not have you place you're hands on me, nor will I have someone of my staff disrespect me in such a manner." She said turning up her nose and making her way to her seat.

And in a moment Alex Gray took a back seat to Alex Cabbot. She stepped up to the principal's desk and slammed her hand palm down startling Ms. Munroe and causing a sting in her arm to which she ignored. She stared at the principal long and hard before speaking darkly, almost manically as if she'd reached a breaking point in her own life, "I have sat back for the last year and watched you fire teachers who did nothing wrong. I've watched you forge scores on state examinations to keep your own job and I've seen you give poor evaluations to teachers who excel, simply because you don't like them."

"What is y-"

"Shut your damn pie hole." Alex snipped, "I have stood back and watched you run this school with politics so damned corrupt any prosecutor in New York would have you're ass." She said pointing at her, "Did you think I would simply stand by and watch you corrupt children and teachers? We work our asses off so you can drive you're beamer, we work our asses off so that the kids might have a fighting damn chance and you choose corruption and dishonesty over education and love for a child? You're a disgrace to the field of education." Alex narrowed her eyes and leaned over the desk, "Do you know who the boogie man is, Ms. Munroe?"

"He's fictional, I need not know his name." She huffed.

Alex shook her head softly, "Fictional?" she asked skeptically, "If I poured that coffee into you're lap," she said reaching for it, "Would that be fictional or real?"

"You'd be fired."

Alex smiled dangerously, and took the mug of coffee placing it on the edge of the desk in front of the principal, "The boogieman is fictional to you and I…he's very much real to the Stablers."

"What is you're point Mrs. Gray?" The principal asked in irritation but quickly moved the mug as soon as she had the chance.

Alex slammed both hands on the desk, the Japanese fighting fish startling in the small bowl on the desk, "Rape! Abuse! Neglect…that's my damn point." She snapped, "You've never even bothered to read his file have you?" she shook her head in knowing, "That little boy in there, that you think is so bad, was raped by his _father_, abused by his grandparent, placed in tubs of scalding water and just about every other thing you can imagine. They adopted him and they love him, yet you ignore his need to be protected…you're just another authority figure that he can't trust…and you disgust the hell out of me."

"Get out of my office, Mrs. Gray, you've gone to far." The principal warned.

Alex smirked and pulled up a chair, "I've gone too far? No. You have no idea how wrong you are right now. Did you know what I use to do before I came here to teach?"

"Do I care?"

"You should." Alex smiled, "I was a prosecutor, my uncle is a judge, hell, I still get invited to lame cocktail parties with lawyers and judges and cops." Alex leaned forward in her seat and lowered her voice, " See, you might be able to fire me, but it's gonna take awhile, what with all the paperwork, tenure, and red tape. I on the other hand, can have you arrested at this school, in front of you're peers, with a simple phone call, hell, I can even invite the press if you're ready for a close up."

The principal smiled and scoffed, "You've got no proof of these allegations."

Alex smiled and licked her lips, "Sweetheart, I was born to prosecute…I always have proof, the question is, do you want to put you're self in the position for that proof to present itself?"

The color drained from the principal's face, "What is it that you want?"

"You're going to go back into the nurses station, and you're going to apologize to that little boy." Alex told her as she stood to her feet and grabbed a candy from the dish on the desk and tossed it to the principal, "You're even gonna give him a piece of candy, then you're going to tell Mr. and Mrs. Stabler that you had a lapse of judgment that Samuel is more than welcome to finish the school year here, and after that, you're going to tell them…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Please don't leave me Mom, I want to be with you and Daddy." He whispered.

Elliot sat on the opposite side of Sam, "We need to go talk to you're principal and straighten this all out." He assured him pulling him close, "You did a good thing fighting back and hiding, that's what big boys do, they get away and they stay away, we're gon-"

"Excuse me?" Ms. Munroe stepped into the office a angered flushed Alex on her heels.

"What is it?" Olivia bit off.

"I was just talking to Mrs. Gray right now and I think she straightened out a few things that I misunderstood." The principal looked back at Alex who simply arched her brow and folded her arms daring the principal not to continue with what she was instructed to do. The principal reached into her pocket and retrieved the wrapped candy and kneeled in front of Sam, "I'm very sorry Samuel, and I have a piece of candy here if you'd like it."

Sam wiggled out of Elliot's lap and crossed over to Olivia effectively turning his back to the principal, "Sam?" Olivia tried to sooth him, "Look Baby, she's asking for forgiveness, remember what we talked about?"

"Forgiveness is a must." He whispered, "But being friends again is my choice."

"Yes it is." Olivia assured him, "She's asking for you're forgiveness Sam."

Sam turned around in his mothers lap furrowing his brow at the feeling of chords that were on his mother, he exhaled, "I forgive you, but my grace isn't weakness." He told her effectively shocking everyone in the room. He reached out to her hand and closed her fingers over her offering, "And I don't want you're candy." He told her before burying his head back into his mother's chest.

The principal stood to her feet, a little shocked and whole lot embarrassed, "Mr. and Mrs. Stabler, in light of what Mrs. Gray has explained to me we've decided we won't be suspending Samuel, you have my apologies in the matter and I hope you are still wanting to enroll him in the summer session here." The principal smiled and turned to leave.

Alex cleared her throat suggesting to the principal that she would want to rethink her early departure.

The principal exhaled, "Incidentally, I'm aware that you are a cop Mrs. Stabler?"

"And so is my daddy." Sam quipped, "And they aren't scared of you."

Olivia kissed Sam softly, "Shh, Baby, we'll talk when we get home, Okay?" he nodded and Olivia returned her gaze to the principal.

"And that means what to you?" Elliot asked holding in his anger.

"After Columbine this school took drastic measures to prevent school violence, there are cameras installed in every entrance and exit into this school so that we know exactly who has come and gone…I'm willing to volunteer that information to you if it will help." The principal swallowed.

Olivia and Elliot looked at Alex who simply smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "Sounds like you guys got lucky, I think you should take it."

Olivia shook her head softly knowing there was more to meets the eye, "Thank you, we'll definitely take it."

"I thought you would, the security team has it at the front counter…again I apologize for the miscommunication-"

Alex cleared her throat again.

The principal bowed her head, "I mean, I apologize for my error in judgment." She forced out and left the office.

"What was that all about?" Olivia raised her brows at Alex.

"Ah, who knows with her, she's loopy." Alex shook her head.

"Un huh." Elliot eyed her, "Looked like you were ripping her a new anus."

Alex blushed and turned to leave, "Let me know what you find."

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"You want to look at the tape right now?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah put it in." She replied softly knowing that neither he nor she was gonna get up and put it in because once they saw the man they suspected, then everything would be real.

"DADDY!" Came the piercing yell from their son's room, "MOMMY!" he shrieked as both Elliot and Olivia made their way to his room.

"Sam." Elliot called for him, "Sam what is it Son?"

"Where's my mommy?" He asked sitting up in his bed.

"Right here Baby." She whispered pulling him close to her. His shaking and sweating body, his soiled pajama's, "Nightmare?"

"He hit me Mom, and I didn't do anything to him, why did he hurt me, Mom?" He cried against her. His first sentences since they'd brought him home from school, "Why did he hurt me?" he cried again, "I'm a nice boy."

"Yes you are Honey, you're a very nice boy." She whispered dragging him onto her lap, unconcerned with his wet pants, "Want to tell me what happened? You're daddy is right here, want to tell us?"

"No." he shook his head and buried his face further into her shoulder, "I hurt, Mommy, my face." He said pulling back and placing her hand on his still welted cheek, "and my hands, they hurt me."

"I know they do Honey, I know." She whispered, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"The Tylenol?"

"Sure." He said standing to his feet and kissing Sam's head softly before leaving for the kitchen.

"Can you kiss it Mom?" he whispered.

She smiled softly, "Just tell me where."

He pointed to his cheek, "It hurts me right here."

Olivia caressed the back of his head softly and brought him close, her lips against his warm cheek, a hum, and a smack of the lips, "All better?"

He grinned softly and held up his fingers, "Here please."

She kissed his fingers delicately knowing that there is perhaps nothing more painful than having a nail literal ripped from your finger, "Better?"

"And here." He told her pulling his shirt up and pointing to his heart, "Can you make my heart better too?" he asked softly.

She arched her bow and held back tears, "I can try…but it might take a lot of kisses…the heart is very special place, and sometimes it hurts just a little more than other places." She informed him.

"Can you try, please?"

She smiled softly and kissed him gently just over his heart, raising her head and kissing his cheek again, "All better?"

"Yeah," He shook his head softly, "Better."

"Good." She grinned, "Let's get you cleaned up."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?" she asked as they both stood.

"I didn't have an accident for a long time, but I messed up tonight."

Olivia pulled clean pajama's from the dresser and started to help him out of his soiled ones, "I'm so proud that you went without and accident as long as you did, you're getting so much better. But you know what?"

"What?"

"Accidents are exactly what they're called…accidents, I'm not upset. Remember? You're dad and I got you that special sheet, so all we have to do is take you're Sponge Bob sheet off, clean off the other sheet and maybe we'll put on your Spiderman sheets?"

"Yeah." He grinned.

"We start again tomorrow, and we see how long you can go without an accident okay?" she smiled.

"Okay." He agreed and let her lead him to the bathroom where she helped him clean himself up. Elliot knocked on the door and popped his hand in placing the Tylenol on the counter.

"Thank you." Olivia responded knowing he wouldn't dare step into the restroom un invited with a naked Sam.

"Alright, Honey." Olivia smiled getting the medicine ready for him, "I got something that is gonna make you not hurt so much."

"Another kiss?" he smiled.

She laughed, "Medicine."

"Oh." He pressed his lips in disappointment.

She kissed his cheek, "How's that?"

He grinned, "Thank you."

"Open wide." She told him and gave him the medicine to which he swallowed without a fuss. "Alright, let's go, I have to be in bed by nine, or you're dad is gonna kill me."

"That's a saying right?" he asked still a little on edge with it.

"Yep." She told him, "Let's go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Children's Tylenol." Olivia chuckled resting her head on Elliot's lap and looking up at him, "It's a miracle worker, that kid is dead to the world."

Elliot smiled and rested his hand on her stomach, "All changed and showered huh?"

"Yeah, well, didn't think you'd want a urine soaked wife hanging around." She winked and craned her head to look at the clock, "Hmm, seems I've got fifteen minutes before bedtime…thought of any names?'

Elliot grinned, "How about, Theodore?"

"How about a divorce?"

He laughed, "I'm hurt."

"Caleb?"

"I like that." He told her shaking his head and rubbing her belly, "How come you're not wearing the monitor?"

"Oh, come on El, give me a small break here." She pleaded.

"Nope." He pushed her off of his lap, "Let's go get it on."

"Hey now." She grinned flirtatiously, "I've only got fifteen minutes before my bedtime."

"Get your mind out of the gutter Benson." He teased and led her down the hall.

"El, those things are painful to remove, it's like I'm being skinned." She whined.

"Stop being a wuss." He smiled having her sit on the bed, "where's the monitor?"

Olivia exhaled and ran her hand through her hair, "El, can you find me the file that Christoff gave us on Sam?"

"Olivia, you need to wear the monitor."

"Stop nagging." She groaned, "You sound like a woman," she teased him, "Look, if you find me that file, I'll get monitor...deal?"

He kissed her abdomen playfully, "Deal." she smiled and retreated. She rolled her eyes at his protectiveness and retrieved the monitor from the closet. She'd hoped she wouldn't have to sleep with it, just in case she ever go up enough gumpage to try and seduce her husband. She flopped the pack on the bed and smacked her lips, knowing it wasn't right to make her husband wait but the truth of the matter was she simply was too scared of another flash back to put either one of them through that again...no matter how much she wanted him. In frustration she groaned and hung her head.

"Hey," Elliot rushed to her side flopping the file on the bed, "What's wrong? Why are you out of the bed?"

"El," She smiled, "Will you please take a chill pill?" she asked hugging him with one arm, "You're gonna drive me nuts and give yourself an ulcer...they're gonna be fine."

He exhaled, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be a thorn in your side."

"I know you're worried." She confessed, "So am I, but I need room to breath here, honey."

"Okay, but please...get in the bed."

"You're trying to put me to bed _early_ aren't you?" She furrowed her brow a grin playing on her lips.

"No, Liv." He blushed come on, "How do these go?" he asked holding up the sensory pads as she slid into the bed.

"I can do it." She told him reaching for the chords.

"Let me." He told her, "Please, I don't get to…carry the babies, please let me help with this." He asked her seriously.

"Alright," she reached for the file, "You have to clean the area with alcohol though, make sure it's dry." she told him handing him the towelette packets the nurses had given her. She opened the file and flipped through as he began to wipe softly at her abdomen.

"Oh no." She groaned and exhaled.

"What? Does it hurt?" He furrowed his brow and looked at her belly.

"What?" She peered at him over the folder, "Oh, no, no you're fine, but...it's official."

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "What's official?"

"We are bad parents." She exhaled and folded the file so that the page she needed was showing as she handed it to him, "Why didn't it occur to either one of us to see when his birthday was?"

"Oh, no. Are you serious?" He asked looking down at the file, "We are idiots." he groaned.

"He didn't say a word." She whispered in shock, "He knows he had a birthday he introduced himself to Fin as a nine year old, but he never uttered a word about it or even alluded to it." she shook her head, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"We've got a party to plan...quick." she smiled, and then grinned, "We're planning our son's birthday party."

Elliot closed the file, took one more swipe with the towelette and smiled at her, "What do you think we should do for him?"

"I don't know but it's got to be fun for him...how much to you want to bet he's never had a birthday party?"

"I bet you're right." Elliot exhaled getting the monitor ready as best he could, "Especially since he didn't mention it...it's pretty safe to say he's never had one."

She flopped her head back onto the pillows, "I hate his parents."

"He loves them." Elliot whispered, "He doesn't like them, but he does love them."

"He's a special boy." she smiled at Elliot "But he's our's not theirs."

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Liv, I know that. They'll never see him again, and from what you told me, he doesn't want to see them, he loves us and thinks of us as his parents...they won't ever touch him again." he assured her rubbing her thigh softly, "Now, if you'd be a doll and tell me where to put these that would be great." he smiled gently at her and held up the sensory pads.

Her lips curled into a delicate smile, "The blue one goes here." She pointed to the specific area, "And the black one goes here." She pointed to the opposite side.

"Okay, but what's this one?" He furrowed her brow looking at a red sensor.

She unbuttoned her pajama shirt and pointed, "It's for my heart."

"You're heart?" He furrowed his brow, "Why?"

"Precaution." She smiled and rubbed his forearm, "It's okay." She assured him, "Peel the back of them, slap those evil things on, and plug me in." she joked knowing he didn't like the idea of having to monitor her heart, it didn't set right, it meant there was a possibility something could go wrong with not just the babies but her as well, "Elliot," She whispered when he didn't move, "It's okay, just a precaution."

He nodded and peeled the sensors placing them on her abdomen before peeling the red one and placing it gently on her heart, just to the side of Isaac's hand print. He lowered his head and kissed her just as tenderly as she had kissed Sam. "Thank you." She smiled softly, the motioned for the pack; "You got to plug the ends in and fire it up." She told him with a smile. Elliot shook his head at her humor but did as she instructed.

"I've got a couple more minutes before I have to rack out, Stabler." She exhaled "Alex told me that they think Sam was probably approached around two, I think we need to look at that tape, the sooner we do, the sooner we can pick him up."

Elliot furrowed his brow and took in a deep breath before looking away, "I can't." he whispered.

"What?" She asked sitting up wrapping her hands around his waist, "What's wrong?"

"If I know who it is for sure," he whispered, "I'll kill him, I swear I will."

She shook her head in understanding and was secretly relieved that he didn't want to look at the tape because the truth of the matter was, that the only reason she didn't hunt Ganzner right now, was because there was always the possibility that it wasn't him. Without conclusive proof there was always the possibility.

"We can always look at it tomorrow at the precinct, might be better with Fin and the Captain around huh?" she suggested softly.

"Yeah." He whispered, "Might be safer that way I think."

"Okay…lay with me until I fall asleep?" She asked.

He smiled softly, "Absolutely."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello, Sam."

Those were the two words that woke her up out of a sound sleep. They weren't the words of her husband; he was lying asleep still in his suit next to her. "El, wake up, someone's in the house." She whispered looking down the hall to see that the kitchen light was on and knowing that she'd turned it off.

"Elliot wake up!" She shoved on him again only to have him roll over, lifeless eyes starring up at the ceiling, throat slit and oozing the remnants of his blood onto her black sheets. She swallowed, remembering the words of her brother, _I'm so glad you chose the black ones they hide the blood better don't you think, Olivia?_

"I'm going to take you to Isaac, Sam." The voice came from the hall again.

Olivia covered her mouth, trying not to scream in sheer horror at the sight of her dead husband next to her. She slid or rather fell from the bed in a panic, her eyes wide with fear, until she heard Sam's voice in reply.

"But I want my mommy, you're not nice to me like she is."

She stood to her feet, vaguely aware of how she managed to get into boy short and a tee when she'd went to bed in different attire. She walked slowly, aware that with each step she was walking in moist footprints that she new were probably cast in Elliot's blood. She cried wondering why she didn't wake up, he must have struggled next to her, and he must have fought back, yet she remained asleep.

She was about to round the corner when she was surprised with a knife square into her shoulder. She screamed at the pain, cried out as the man before her twisted it into her flesh. Her son sitting on the couch eating an ice cream. Innocent as to what was happening until she groaned again at the feeling of the knife being removed.

Sam looked directly at her, tilted his head to the side and looked at her. She furrowed her brows knowing that Sam couldn't see her yet here he was looking straight at her, "Hi Mommy." He waved his hand at her.

She swallowed, and winced when the man shoved her harder into the wall and smiled through the mask, "Hello Detective Benson."

She moaned at the pain of having his hips pinned against hers, "Who are you?"

"I've always been in you're head Detective Benson, always." He whispered sliding his hands up her tee shirt and caressing her breast roughly, "You're husband was such an easy kill for a big man." He told her resting his forehead against hers in forged intimacy.

"What do you want?" She asked looking past the figure and seeing Sam sitting suddenly terrified with his sun glasses on.

"Get away from him Mommy, he's a bad man!" Sam yelled.

"I've always wanted you detective." He rubbed himself into her causing the bile to rise in her throat, "So, I'll make you a deal, you and you're son can live for the low cost of me being able to release my seed inside of you…that way there's a fifty-fifty chance that you'll always be stuck with me." He told her and kissed her hard, the mask rubbing against her face as he squeezed her breast roughly causing her to wince. "What's it gonna be."

Olivia closed her eyes, felt the tears fall, "Sam…Baby." She spoke shakily, "Go to you're room, Honey."

"But-"

"No butts! Go!" She told him, "I'll be in later."

"Mom-"

"GO!" she scolded him sending him off to his bedroom.

She looked back at the figure, the old eyes the thin lips, "Do you're worst." She whispered, "Because I will live to do mine."

"You've always been feisty." He grinned slipping his hands into her underwear and pulling them down forcefully, "Perhaps that's what got you into this little quandary?"

"You can go fu-"

His lips were against hers his fist in her bleeding wound as she whimpered against him until he separated and set himself free from his pants, "Let me show you my worst." He grinned and shoved himself violently upwards her scream shattering the atmosphere.

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"Wake up!" Elliot shook her hard, "NOW!" he barked until her eyes opened, the frantic beeping of the monitor to her heart slowing only when her eyes met his and her tears fell as she crumbled into his embrace. "It was a dream." He whispered, "You're okay, you're with me." He assured her. She pulled away softly and felt of his neck, kissed him frantically about his neck and face, held his face in her palms as she sat up on her knees.

"Liv?" he called to her, "It's okay."

"I thought you were dead." She whispered kneeling on the bed in front of him, "I thought you were dead."

He stroked her back softly, "You know you can't get rid of me that easily." He chuckled and pulled back looking down at the monitor, "Everyone okay?" he asked.

She hugged him again, "Yeah, yeah, everyone's okay." She whispered, "Scared out of my mind, but I'm okay."

"Don't be scared, I'm right here."

"You were dead, there was blood…everywhere, on this bed." She told him and made her way off of the bed still in his arms.

"Hey, I'm here in the flesh." He smiled at her and pushed her hair behind her ears, "Want to tell me about it?"

"No." She whispered, "Touch me."

He exhaled, knowing exactly what the dream must have been about, "Where?"

"Here." She told him placing his hand under her pajama shirt and raising it to her breast, "Soft." She whispered resting her head on his shoulder as he caressed her, "Thank you." She breathed.

He withdrew his hand and held her against him, "Whenever you're ready to talk."

"I know." She told him holding on to him still as tightly as before, "What time is it?" she asked in an effort to change the story.

"Three in the morning."

"Why are you up?" She asked finally noticing he was still in his dress shirt, tie loosened.

"I was going over the tape." He confessed, "I was trying to narrow the time down, I should have waited for you-"

"It's fine." She assured him wiping the moisture from her eyes, "Did you find anything?"

"I paused it when I heard you, but I think were in the time frame, did you want to look?" he asked.

She teased through her emotion, "You giving me a pass out of bed?"

"Come on." He rolled his eyes and walked with her out to the living room and sat with her, noticing she sat a little closer and held on just a little tighter to him than normal. "Ready?"

"Yeah." She whispered and leaned into his shoulder.

They watched in silence. Saw kids picking their noses when they thought no one was looking, saw teachers running to their classes as if they might be late, but it was the man who entered, looked right and left and turned to face the direction where the camera captured him full face that made them both gasp. Elliot pushed pause and stared. Olivia blinked her eyes and shook her head. "This is all my fault." She whispered, "Nick Ganzner is my fault."

"What? No. Don't do this to your self." He tried to sooth her before she started to cry but all she could do was cry against him.

"I just didn't like him." She whispered, "I tried to, I did, but he wasn't you, and I didn't want him." She confessed crying into his shoulder.

He made every effort to lighten the situation, to calm her in order to keep the babies safe, "So, you admit you wanted me even then?"

She pulled back, punched him playfully, half sob, half laugh, "Elliot, I did this, it's my fault Isaac isn't here and Sam is scared out of his mind…what have I done?" She shook her head and sobbed, "My God, what have I done?"

"Olivia," he brought her face to look at him, "You couldn't of known he'd flip out like this, you couldn't have."

"I should have." She shook her head and sobbed, "I was so harsh to him when I found out he stole that file from me."

"He deserved it."

"I should have just swallowed my pride, accepted my butt chewing and left him alone, but I went down there and humiliated him in front of his staff and colleagues, he had a hard time getting another job after that, and then we did it again on his next job an-" she stopped, looked straight at Elliot, "Holy sh-"

"What?"

She stood slowly, in shook as realization dawned on her, "That's where I read it." She whispered practically bolting down the hallway to the office. Elliot followed in a hurry entering the office as she frantically pulled books from the bookshelf, flipping through them and discarding them to the ground.

"Olivia," he knelt next to her, "What are you looking for?" he asked as she continued pulling books out.

"Its here, I hid it in a book, I knew you wouldn't want to see them, but I kept them." She spoke as she frantically searched, "I don't remember which one!" she snapped, pulling books off two at a time. Then crawling to the next bookshelf and performing the same ritual.

Elliot thought quick, if it was something she didn't want him to find, it would be in plain sight and in a book she knew he'd never pick up. He raced his eyes over the spines of the books pulling one out and flipping through it receiving nothing but pages that belonged there, he moved to another and received the same thing and then stopped at her journal. He would have never read it; it would have meant sudden death for him. He knew she'd stopped journaling after Isaac was taken and had only recently started in the last few weeks after finding out she was pregnant, but she started in a new journal, told him it was a new beginning.

He was aware she was still frantically searching, he swallowed and pulled the leather bound journal out and touched her on the shoulder, "Here." He told her softly. She took it in her hands, stared at it for a split second as if she were asking the book if it held what she needed. She clumsily placed it on the floor and flipped through the pages frantically, stopping when she found what she was looking for, an old newspaper article.

"Look." She told Elliot as she straightened out the crumbled article that Elliot recognized as the one he'd tossed in anger after reading, "Here it is, it's him." She whispered crunched over on her knees and forearms like a starving man soaking up bread crumbs as she pointed, "Look!" she told him again. Elliot looked down and felt his eyes widen as he read what she was pointing at _Article written by: Aivilo Aneres. _


	19. Chapter 19 Chasing Ganzner

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 19 Chasing Ganzner

A/N: So I got this interesting email that said Elliot and Olivia were being written as too happy in light of the situation with Isaac…well, my reasoning for giving them some splinter of happiness, is because, even in crisis a parent can never fully turn their back on the other child, and I don't think Elliot or Olivia would do that, so, enjoy.

"When did you guys pick him up?" Olivia asked starring through the one way mirror.

"As soon as Cragen got off the phone with Elliot, we called Casey, picked him up as soon as he stepped off the plane." Fin informed her, "Paul and Casey are here…she can't prosecute this, they're bringing in someone else."

"Elliot?" Olivia asked watching as Nick leaned back in the metal chair.

"The bullet was through and through, he's fine, still in surgery but fine." Fin assured her, "Scarring is a different matter, we're checking to see how he got the makeshift gun on the flight anyway."

"Isaac?"

Fin exhaled, "Still looking…we'll get him."

"Sam?"

"Upstairs in the children's interview room, sleeping. There's a uniform inside and one at the door, he knows you're inside the precinct, I told him you have 'Mama Things' to take care of."

Olivia smirked looking through the window, "He knows you fed him a line, I'm surprised he accepted it."

"Well," Fin exhaled crossing his arms over his chest and starring at Ganzner as he stood next to her, "the tootsie pop helped."

Olivia nodded, tilted her head to the side as she watched Ganzer look around the interrogation room, "He's a good boy at brushing his teeth." She murmured.

Fin smirked, "Wonder where he gets it from."

"What's taking the ADA so long? And why isn't you're partner here?" she asked taking a breath but never turning her gaze from Ganzner.

"My partner is following a lead on another case and you know ADA's…slower than turtles." He told her rubbing her shoulder lightly.

Olivia jumped but didn't look away when the door to the observation room opened and Casey and Paul stepped in. Casey hugged Olivia warmly, "Hey." She whispered softly.

"Hey." Olivia exhaled, "Elliot is gonna be okay."

"That's him!" Paul barked starring through the glass, "Those eyes…that's him!" he suddenly shouted in anger and spun on him heels.

"Paul!" Fin called after him and opened the door just in time to see Paul reach to the hip of a passing by uniformed officer and take the .9mm from the holster quickly ducking into the interrogation room.

"NO!" Olivia slapped the glass yelling at Paul who jammed a chair under the door knob effectively keeping anyone from opening the door.

She watched in horror as Casey hit the glass, "Paul! What the hell? You can't do this!...Addison!" She tried to remind him of their young son, barely six months old. "Paul!"

Fin came back quickly and turned the intercom on, "Paul…man, don't do this, you have a son and a wife." He told him through the device, "If you do this, this case will be so messed up that he'll never do time."

When there was no response from Paul, all three observers looked through the window as he pulled a chair from the corner of the room and sat across the table from Nick Ganzner.

"Who are you?" Nick furrowed his brow, "Bring in the Ice Princess, I'd like to talk to her."

"Who am I?" Paul asked, his voice suddenly so foreign to Casey that her mouth went slack as she observed the interaction, "Who…am…I?" Paul brandished the Beretta an evil smile playing on his lips as he released the magazine to the weapon and slowly took out each bullet, one by one, letting them roll here and there on the table, "Who, am I?" He smiled again as Nick watched him in confusion, "Well, Mr. Ganzner," Paul raised the empty magazine to Nick to show him that all the bullets were removed, "I'm the man, you stabbed and left for dead…after you busted my knee with a bat…" he smirked and took one bullet from the table and placed it back into the weapon.

"What are you doing?" Nick swallowed and starred.

"Keep your mouth closed Mr. Ganzner." Paul chastised him softly, "I'm the man, whose wife you left unconscious and bleeding." He smiled and disengaged the safety of the weapon with his thumb, watching as Nick's eyes grew larger.

Nick turned to the mirrored window when he realized what was happening, "Hey! Hey, somebody get this freak out of here!" he barked and made an effort to stand to which Paul simply reached over with his long torso and grabbed Ganzner by the collar throwing his cuffed body back into the chair.

"Nobody told you to get up, and I certainly didn't tell you to talk." Paul informed him with a cold gaze as he slid the magazine into the grip of the weapon locking it into place with a gentle slap of the palm. "Where's Isaac?"

"Who?"

Paul leveled cold eyes on Nick, "Do. Not. Play stupid or you'll end up dead."

"You don't have the guts." Nick smiled, "You're in a precinct…and do you hear that?" Nick motioned with his head to the door, "There are probably twenty cops out there trying to figure out how to get in here, you're not this crazy."

Paul lazily raised one corner of his mouth in a maniacal grin, as he chambered the only round in the weapon and placed it on the table in front of him, "Seeing your wife, lying in a hospital bed with holes drilled into her skull, catherderized because she can't walk herself to the restroom. Seeing a stranger have to care for your wife, bathe her, wipe her, dress her, because she's too damn stubborn to let her husband care for her, these are all things that will make a man go crazy." Paul informed him.

"What do you want?" Nick asked eyeing the weapon whose barrel faced him.

"You know what else will drive a man crazy?" Paul asked ignoring Nick's question.

Nick swallowed, a bead of sweat forming on his brow, he looked back at the mirrored window, "Come on Ice Princess," he begged nervously, "Help a friend out, here…he's nuts!"

"Answer my question," Paul snapped picking up the weapon and pointing it at Nick's forehead, "or I'll kill you…do you know what else can make a man crazy?"

"No." Nick's eyes crossed as he starred at the barrel of the weapon, "What?"

Paul placed the gun back on the table, "Knowing that you held you're best friends' son in you're arms and watched as some freak took him from you and walked out the door. Knowing that you couldn't do anything, knowing that you're friends would never smile again, knowing that they entrusted you with they're son and you let them down…these are the things that makes a man unable to sleep, makes a man starve himself, makes a man want to kill himself…these are the things that…makes a man…crazy." Paul smiled, "So you see, Mr. Ganzner, I absolutely _am_ crazy and I absolutely _will_ shoot you today."

"What do you want to know?" Nick asked quickly, nervously, "I'll tell you whatever you want, just relax." He rushed his sentence and darted his eyes back to the mirror, "Olivia! Come on, help me, Damnit!" he barked.

Olivia lowered her mouth to the intercom, "Hells calling you, Nicky." She chimed in knowing that there was no way she could get through a metal door that three officers were already working frantically to open.

Casey closed her eyes and rested her head against the coolness of the glass as Fin yelled and shouted at the officers to get the door open. Olivia watched her friend resign to the fact that her husband was about to kill a man, she watched Casey resign to the fact that Paul would break the laws she swore to uphold and in so doing, he would never see his son grow up.

"Paul!" Olivia called through the intercom, "Come on, you can't do this to Casey and Addison!"

Both women watched in shock as Paul simply rose to his feet, gun in hand, and turned his intercom off, never looking into the window, never taking his eyes off of Nick. He reclaimed his seat, replaced the weapon on the table, "So, Mr. Ganzner," Paul smiled again, "Where is Isaac."

"Bite me." Nick smiled.

Paul raised the gun again, "Where's Isaac?"

The sweat rolled off of Nick's face, "I…I sold him to a woman in Manhattan."

"Name." Paul demanded.

"Um…Cynthia…Giongi, I think."

"Think? Or know?" Paul narrowed his vision.

"Know." Nick swallowed and looked at the window, "Help me!"

"Paul!" Olivia yelled through the glass, "Paul, we got the name, leave him alone!"

Paul smiled evilly and leaned back in his chair, "Thank you for you're cooperation in this matter Mr. Ganzner."

Nick leaned forward in anger, "I want to know who you are and what you do because I'm gonna sue the hell out of you."

Paul leaned his head to the side, smiled softly at Nick, "My name is Paul Novak," He grinned and raised the weapon quickly, "And I'm the man that killed you." And with that the trigger was pulled, a shot ringing out.

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"Calm down!" Elliot quickly kneeled behind Olivia who had shot straight up in bed a full shout escaping her lips, skin dripping in sweat, breathing labored, "Calm down." He spoke softly into her ear and embraced her from behind, his hands on her abdomen, "Calm down, it was just a nightmare." He whispered, "I'm right here." He assured her feeling her hands cover his.

"Elliot." She grabbed his arms and pulled them tighter around her, "Elliot." She spoke his name again for the soul purpose of convincing her mind where she was.

He kissed her sweaty head unconcerned with the perspiration, "What was it?" he whispered.

She shook her head not wanting to talk, "Please…just…be with me?"

"Absolutely" he whispered and was a little taken back when she rose up and shifted so that she was next to him, her face in his chest, his arms around her as he held her.

She wept in his arms and there was nothing he could do but let her. His hand gently caressing the back of her head as she hid in his body, sought protection from this pain called life. His free hand gently rubbing her back, "Liv…the boys, you've got to get calm." He whispered, and held her tighter when he felt her body tense in an effort to leave him, "I know you're upset, you have every right to be, but you've got two little girls in here that need you calm." He told her bringing his hand between the two of them and stroking her abdomen lightly.

She pulled herself even closer to him, her body exhausted and shaking, her eyes burning and red, "El," she labored out, "Ganzner has our son." She whispered, "He has Isaac."

He kissed the crown of her head, "We need to get you to sleep." He told her sadly, "We need to get you relaxed and calm." He informed her checking the monitor, "Come on, let's get you cleaned up…a nice shower?"

"Please." She breathed out, then groaned, "You're gonna have to skin me."

"What?" He arched his brow, "What do you mean?"

Olivia sleepily raised her shirt over her belly, "These have to come off."

"Right." He smiled softly and started to slowly pull one back.

"Elliot?" She winced.

"Yeah…hurt?"

"Just pull it off like a band aid please." She exhaled, "And none of that one two three cra-" she groaned and winced as he pulled both off simultaneously.

"Sorry, just thought, I'd do it when you weren't expecting it."

"Thanks." She muttered sincerely, and ripped the one from her chest groaning with the pain. "Ridiculous." She murmured and started to cry again.

"Hey, hey, come here." He whispered taking her back into an embrace, "I'm sorry, I didn't think it would hurt that ba-"

"It's not that." She whispered holding him tighter, "It's…you know, I thought when we got married that things would be easier for us, but things keep getting worse."

"I love you." He whispered to her, "For better or worse, I love you. Nothing changes that, not all the money, or a nice house or even a flawless marriage."

"But-"

"And for the record, yeah, we've had everything and then some thrown our way, but I don't regret a day I've spent with you." He assured her, "Not a day, not an hour, not a minute or a second."

"You never sleep anymore." She whispered.

"You lean on me when your hurting, I lean on you when I'm hurting…that's what makes a marriage work, that's what makes partner's strong…I've regretted nothing between us, except turning to the alcohol, and not having Isaac with us right now, everything else, even you trying to kill me with a flashlight," he joked lightly and tickled her playfully, then stilling her, "those are things I wouldn't trade for the world." He smiled against her neck and kissed her, "Shower?"

She looked at him, tilted her head to the side and watched him in curiosity, "How did I get you?"

"Huh?"

"How, did I get someone like you?" She whispered.

Elliot winked at her, "God's a pretty smart man, I supp-"

She cut him off leaning in and taking his lips to hers, her tongue tickling his lips for her entrance into her own safety. She caressed his face with her palm, feeling his hand tangle into her hair, his mouth hot and desirous against hers. He moaned as he tenderly released her, foreheads resting against one another.

He smiled softly at her, "I called Cragen after you went to sleep; they're on it looking for him as we speak."

"It's the middle of the night." She murmured.

"We're gonna find him." Elliot assured her, "Come on, let's get you in that shower."

"Can you grab me some fresh night clothes, please?" She asked forcing her exhausted body into the bathroom.

"Sure thing. Pajama's or boy shorts?"

"Surprise me." She called back running the water to the bathtub and deciding on something different.

Elliot went about the room, "Surprise me." He muttered with a smile, "Alls fair." He whispered pulling out a pair of pale pink boy shorts and a black camisole before making his way to the linen closet and retrieving a towel for her.

He returned to the bathroom and smiled in surprise that she had opted to slip into the bathtub. Although it was void of bubbles, he didn't think he'd ever be able to get her back into the bathtub again. He watched her as she forced herself to rest, her head against the wall, body slipped down enough for the water to cover the rise of her breast, but forced her knees to bend and rise from the water. Her hands rested protectively on her abdomen, and Elliot had an idea.

He retreated to the book shelf in their office and searched for the book of poetry that she has read probably about five million times since she became his partner, he smiled when his finger came across the spine of the book, he retrieved it and grabbed a pillow from the bed padding lightly into the bathroom and placing it next to the tub.

He sat carefully using the pillow as padding, "Hey."

"Hey." She smiled sadly keeping her eyes closed but pulling her hand from the water and extending it in hope that he would take hold of it, to which he did.

"Thought I'd read something to you and help you relax." He spoke softly as she moved her head to lean against his shoulder over side of the tub. She exhaled and remained silently clutching his hand as he read, "To see the world in a grain of sand, a heaven in a wildflower…"

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She watched him as the sun began to break. She watched her husband sleep closely against her, his hand still resting on her waist. The night had been long to both of them but he'd managed to get her calm, managed to get her back in bed and managed to get her to fall back asleep. She smiled knowing that if it weren't for her being pregnant with more restrictions than a convict she would have been at the precinct searching for Ganzner, for the soul purpose of killing him…slowly…methodically.

She moved closer to him and grazed his lips with hers, before playfully sucking on his lower lip and resting her hand on his hip, "Wake up." She whispered softly.

He stirred and smiled softly, "It's early."

"I know, I can't sleep anymore." She confessed, "What time is Cragen expecting us?"

"I told him I wouldn't let you come in until our normal time." Elliot smirked and opened his eyes looking at the alarm clock and grinning, "Its five O'clock in the morning…you're worse than Sam."

"We might find Isaac today." She blurted evenly, "We might get him back today."

"I know." Elliot smiled and brushed her hair from her face, "We're gonna get him."

She exhaled, "Do you think it's wrong to plan things for Sam when we can't find Isaac? Do you think it's wrong to want to through him a birthday party?"

Elliot was surprised to have his eyes well up with tears, "No, I think Sam is just as worthy of our love as Isaac is…Sam needs this, and I think if we're honest with ourselves, I think we need this too."

She smiled and kissed him softly on the mouth, "I think you're right."

"Of course I'm right," he teased, "I'm the all knowing Elliot."

Olivia's eyes sparkled, "You're mine." She whispered hiding her face in his chest.

"I'm yours." He agreed stroking her back, a delicate kiss placed through her hair, "Have you thought of anything for Sam's big day?"

"Well, it's incredibly late notice, I don't know what to do…I want to get Nick out of the way first, but I don't want Sam to think we don't care."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"If we find Ganzner today, wou-"

"No." she shook her head, "I'll kill him if I know where he lives. I swear to you, I will absolutely go to his home and murder him myself…I'm glad that his registration was to a P.O. Box…have they checked into that?"

He nodded, "They're doing everything they can Liv and to be honest…I'm sort of feeling the same way, want to make a deal?"

Olivia raised her face to him, "What do you have in mind?"

"Well," Elliot weaved his fingers into hers, "How about we ask Cragen and Fin to keep the location to themselves…let them bring Ganzner in?"

She furrowed her brow, "Why?"

"Olivia…I think if you and I picked him up, we'd kill him without a second thought, and I think," he exhaled rubbing her belly, "that it might be to stressful for the babies, and your on desk duty and…I don't want to make this collar without you." He confessed, "Not this one."

She exhaled knowing he was right, she touched her hand to his face, "It's a deal." She whispered and was just about to summons the courage to pass the time with a little extra curricular activity when Sam padded into the room.

They both remained silent and watched the youngster toe up to their bed and feel for Olivia's legs, a knee, a hip, a shoulder, "Mom, wake time." He whispered shaking her shoulder. She smiled and rolled to her back.

"Hey handsome…we're awake, want to rest with us until it's really time to wake up?"

"No." He whispered and laid his head on her shoulder as he braced himself against the bed.

"You okay Sweet Pea?"

He sniffled and shook his head yes, before simply walking away.

Elliot and Olivia looked at one another, "Hug and run, huh?" Elliot smiled.

"Mmm, he's anything but okay." She whispered, "I'll go talk to him." She yawned and exhaled, "Hey, Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

He grinned, "I know."

"Thanks for…thanks for being patient with me."

He smiled and kneeled on the bed as she stood, "As long is it takes." He assured her and kissed her cheek tenderly.

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Olivia cinched her rob tight around her body and ran a hand through her hair, "Could really use a coffee." She mumbled walking through the kitchen to grab a banana and noticing they were gone. She furrowed her brow, deciding she must be loosing her mind, because she could have sworn there was a small bundle of banana's there two days ago. She opted for something different to take the edge off of her stomach and rummaged thought the fridge and deciding she really must be loosing her mind because food that she swore was there just the other morning was gone. _Elliot, human garbage disposal._ She laughed softly and ventured off to Sam's room knocking softly, "Honey, it's Mom, can I come in?"

"Go away."

"Hey!" she smiled softly at the rejection and opened the door slowly, "Hey, how can I go away from someone I love so much?" she asked, "Can I come in?" she asked again watching him sit on his bed, surprised that he was simply naked. The pajama's he'd worn when he tried to wake her were folded to the best of his ability and placed on the foot of his bed.

He remained silent.

"Sam, just because you don't respond doesn't mean I'm still not here." She reminded him softly.

He exhaled, "Come in, Mom."

"Well, thank you." She smiled, "Nice to be invited." She teased him and sat softly next to him, nonchalantly pulling his sheet over his lap. "It's pretty early still." She whispered.

"Not tired." He murmured.

Olivia put her arm around his shoulders and brought him close to her, holding him tightly but furrowing her brow at a smell she couldn't identify. She exhaled and tried to shove it from her mind knowing that he was upset and right now he was all that mattered, "Want to tell me what's wrong?"

"No."

"Are you still hurting?" she asked touching his cheek softly and wincing at the bruise that had already formed.

"No…not so much." He whispered.

"Want to play Three Questions?"

"What's that?" he asked softly.

"It's where I ask you three things that might be wrong and if I'm right we talk about it, if I'm wrong you have to tell me what's wrong…so we can talk about it."

He furrowed his brow, "That's not fair."

She laughed softly, "No, it's not, but I love you and I'd sure like to know why you're not smiling this morning."

"Okay."

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"No."

"Did you wet the bed?"

"No."

"Did…was…the boogieman here?"

Sam raised his hand to her face and covered her lips with his palm, "No. No, boogieman, but I don't like his name anymore, no more boogieman, please."

She smiled softly against his palm, "Okay, no more. But I've asked you three questions, now you have to tell me, so we can talk it out."

He exhaled probably deciding that he got the short end of the stick on this one, "Mom?"

"Son?"

"Can you hold me?"

Olivia looked at his current state of undress and kissed his head softly, "Put on your boxers and climb on up."

He smiled, wormed his way off of the bed and dug around in his dresser holding a pair of boxers in her direction, "Mom, are these Spiderman like my sheets?"

Olivia smiled, "Yep."

He slipped into them and quickly wiggled his tiny frame into her lap before resting his head on her chest and exhaling. She stroked his bare back, his scarred body still bringing tears to her eyes, "What's got you sad Baby?"

"Are you dying, Mom?" he asked point blank, his hands on her face to feel her reaction.

Her brows reached for her hairline in shock, his hands quickly left her as if her skin had burned him. She realized he'd thought he asked a bad question and she slowly raised his hands back to her face. "Honey, I'm not dying…why would you think that?"

He lowered his hands and bowed his head. She simply tipped his chin up and spoke softly, "Don't bow you're head to me Sam…you're my son."

He smiled softly and rested his hands on her belly feeling his way around, "These…these mean you're dying." He told her pulling at the chord.

"Ouch, Baby, you can't pull, it'll hurt me." She told him sucking in air at the sensation.

"Mom!" he started to become agitated, "Take it off! It will make you sick and die!" he started to pull again, "Please Mommy!" he cried pulling again.

Olivia grabbed his wrist firmly "Sam." She tried to get his attention, "Sam." She called to him again as he fought to pull the chords from her skin, "Sam!" she raised her voice over his yelling and finally got him to still as she held his hands. "Honey," she exhaled, "They're helping me." She loosened her grip on his wrists, "They're helping Baby, not hurting."

"No!" he shook his head frantically and started for the sensors again, "That's what they said, but it makes you die!" he cried again.

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her body as tight as she could in order to make him stop fighting with her. She held him firmly, "Samuel, listen to me and listen with both of your big boy ears."

"Mom-"

"Listen, Sam. I've asked you to do something, I've asked you to listen, I don't want to have to ask again…are you listening to me with both of your big boy ears?"

He exhaled in frustration, "Yes."

"Stop moving you're hands, Sweetie." She instructed still feeling his fingers moving and reaching for the chords, "Now, Baby." She spoke firmly but was careful to keep her tone laced with love.

"Mommy," he whispered, "I love you."

She kissed his head, "I love you too…tell me why you think that these will make me die."

Sam hid his face in the crook of her neck, "When I went to the hospital for little kids, my friend had them on him." He whispered.

Olivia furrowed her brow, "When did you go to the hospital?"

"The day I met Christoff, he said I didn't look good, he had to carry me 'cause I didn't feel so good either." He confessed and then it dawned on Olivia that the sensors must have brought back a memory for him.

"Tell me about your friend, Honey." She whispered loosing her embrace when she felt he was calmer.

"Jackson was my friend." He whispered, "Christoff let us play together while I was getting better, Christoff told me that Jackson was a big boy that could drive but wasn't feeling well." He told her, "Jackson got tired a lot though and we only could watch cartoons together, he told me what Monte did on the Rescue Rangers, he could sound like Uncle Scrooge too." He smiled.

"Sounds like you and Jackson, had a whole lot of fun."

"He didn't have hair like me."

"What kind did he have?" she asked softly, happy that he'd finally relaxed in her lap.

"He didn't." Sam shrugged, "he let me feel his head and there was no hair there…he said that was why he wore a hat inside."

Olivia nodded already putting the clued together, "Why do you think these will hurt me though, Sam? Do you think they hurt Jackson?"

"Jackson said that the medicine that comes out of the tube is supposed to help but could make him die too."

"What happened to Jackson, Baby?"

"I woke up; I think it was still sleep time because my watch told me it was late. Jackson's mommy and daddy were there and his mommy was crying and his daddy was yelling at the doctor, he said that the medicine killed his boy." Sam explained and tapped her sensor, "And the medicine came from these, you have to take it off mom…please." He pleaded, "I want you to stay with me, don't go away!"

"Hey," She held him close and kissed him, "I have to explain something to you, Honey…Jackson didn't have these on him, his wire went into his arm, my wires stick on my tummy." She explained, "And, I'm sorry to tell you, but Jackson was right, Sam, his medicine could either help him or hurt him; but my wires don't give me medicine, they tell the doctor's what my heart is doing and they tell the doctor's what you're brother's are doing." She told him resting his hands on her abdomen.

"No medicine?" he asked trailing his hands on the wires.

"None." She assured him, "It sounds like Jackson was sick and had Cancer honey, I guarantee you I'm not sick, I don't have Cancer, and there is no medicine that comes through these chords."

"Promise?" he whispered holding out his pinky finger, "Promise with a pinky swear?"

She smiled, rested her forehead against his and hooked her pinky around his, "Promise."

He grinned and kissed her cheek, before placing his arm around her neck, the other still on her belly, gently rubbing, "I'm sorry I hurt you, Mom."

She stroked his back softly, "All is forgiven."

"You're still my friend?" he asked pulling away and bowing his head, "Still love me, Mom?"

She frowned that he still insisted on lowering his head to her. She tipped his head up and held his face, "Don't bow you're head to me Sam. I want you to be strong, you don't have to lower your head when you feel bad…and I absolutely love you and I absolutely am still you're friend, and I absolutely am still your mom…which means…you got to get ready for school young man." She laughed and tickled him softly, hearing him giggle and worm his way off of her lap.

Olivia found herself investigating the smell of rotten something that was currently attacking her senses as Sam rummaged around his closet and dresser for school clothes. As a pregnant woman, she wondered if her sense of smell could actually be better than Sam's. She could literally smell Elliot even if he was in the next room, and she recently discovered, while making Sam's lunch, that the smell of bologna will make her vomit.

She let her nose guide her first to a dresser that revealed only neatly folded clothing then to one of his nightstands. She opened the top drawer to see his walkman and audio book he was in the middle of listening to, extra batteries for his audio watch, and a Lego man. Almost deciding to give up as Sam sat on the foot of the bed to tie his sneaker she eyed the night stand on the other side of the bed and decided it was the culprit.

Opening the drawer, she had to force the vomit to stay down. Missing food: Found, "Sam?" Olivia asked softly, "Honey, why are the banana's and yogurts in you're drawer?"

Sam shrugged and slid off of the bed, "Got to go, Mom." He squeaked.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mister." Olivia laughed softly and pulled him back to her by his waist band, "What's going on?" she smiled against his cheek and turned him around to face her, "Tell me, please." She asked crouching in front of him, keeping her knee solid on the ground for balance.

"No."

"Okay," she arched her brow, "First, we're gonna learn a different way to disagree with me besides, 'No'…think of one and let me know." She told him, and waited for his reply. "Obedience is a must Sam, and you know you're father and I can't allow you to tell us 'No', so what's it gonna be?" she asked deciding that this was a battle she would choose to fight. No room for disrespect, no room for defiance.

Sam tilted his head, "I'd prefer not to." He whispered.

She nodded her head, "Okay, I'll accept that…but can you tell me why you don't want to talk about it?" she asked standing to her feet and leading him back to the bed, "Baby, you have to understand that I won't be upset with you so long as you always tell the truth, and I won't yell at you or spank you…you're gonna have to believe me on that, you can tell me anything and we'll talk about it, and if you can't talk to me you can talk to you're Daddy too."

He bowed his head and she immediately tipped it up, "Sam, you've always bowed you're head when you're ashamed of something, don't bow you're head to me Baby, we're family and in this family there is no room for shame, or guilt or any other of those yucky feelings that make us say…understand?"

"Yes." He shook his head, and held it up after she removed her hand.

"Now…can you tell me why you have my entire selection of favorite foods in you're drawer?" She laughed softly if only to let him know she wasn't mad, she was just starting to lay down rules for him.

Sam worried his bottom lip and exhaled, "Mom…what if…you forget to feed me, I'll get hungry." He explained in a whisper.

"Sam," She ran her hand along his back, "Did you're family before us forget to feed you a lot?"

He shook his head yes and tried to slide off of the bed. "Hey," She brought him back onto her lap, "Still talking, Son." She reminded him, "I'm sorry you're family did that to you, Baby, but can I ask you something?"

"What?"

She rested her head on his temple and smiled softly, "Have I or you're Dad, forgotten to feed you since you came to stay with us?"

"No." He whispered.

"Then?"

"But what if you do?"

"I promise we wont."

"But what if you do?" he asked again.

"Sam, honey, I understand that you're nervous about this but feel you're tummy, Sweet Pea." She encouraged him placing his hands on his belly, "See, it feels different huh? Remember how you could feel you're ribs?"

"Yeah."

"Can you feel them now?" she asked.

"No."

"That's because your Dad and I are making sure you get good food in your tummy, for breakfast and lunch and dinner." She assured him.

"But what if you forget…I forget stuff…what if you forget?" he asked again, "I don't like to be hungry, it hurts my tummy."

"Well," she mulled the situation over in her mind, "how about we change the stuff that's in you're drawer?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well put some trail mix and some pretzels in Tupperware if that makes you more comfortable, but Honey, yogurt and sandwiches need to be in the refrigerator." She chuckled, 'How's the trail mix sound?"

"Please." He grinned.

"Alright, sounds like a deal, but Buddy, this stuff is going in the trash can."

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"I'm so sleepy." Olivia confessed leaning against the counter as Elliot kissed her forehead.

"You didn't sleep through the night, it's understandable." He assured her, "But, if it helps, you still look gorgeous.'

"Preemptive strike, huh?" she smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, "I love you."

"How can you not?" He teased, "Sometimes I love myself, you know?"

She smirked and slapped his chest lightly, "Does this shirt look right?"

"Why?"

"Feels tight." She complained, "I got on the scale and I gained literally, five pounds in two days."

Elliot grinned and kissed her lips, "Yet you don't look a pound over two-hundred.'

She pulled back with a look of shock, "Ell-"

"Alright!" he raised his hands in surrender, "One eighty?"

She rolled her eyes, "Don't ever plan on being a motivational speaker." She yawned and groaned, "I really want coffee."

He grinned and took a sip from his mug before placing it on the counter and taking her lips to his, laughed softly against her as she tangled her tongue with his, tasting and savoring the flavor of lover and coffee rolled into one. Her hands at the back of his neck to pull him closer to her, her tongue gliding seductively over his teeth, before tailing along the inside of his bottom lip until he was forced to pull away, "Air." He panted, "You trying to suffocate me Woman?"

She smiled, "Take another drink." She whispered and nodded her head to the cup of coffee.

He smirked at her and reached blindly for the mug taking a larger sip to ensure adequate coating, letting it rest in his mouth while he placed the mug back on the counter. He leered at her and swallowed the coffee, watching her mouth inch closer to his until she pressed her body flush against his, her tongue tasting the sweet indulgence of the forbidden drink, his hands on the small of her back, her hips against his forming erection, a smile as she pulled her lips away, "Morning."

"And a good morning it is." He whispered grazing his lips against hers again.

She pulled his waist tighter against her and rubbed softly into him watching his eyes jump in front of her, a smile on his lips, "Someone has her confidence back." He teased and sucked in air as she rubbed herself deeper into him, "Liv," he closed his eyes and groaned into her shoulder, "we're gonna be late."

"Well," she grinned slipping her hand in his back pocket, "I was only suggesting a quickie."

Elliot looked at her and watched as the intensity in her eyes turned into mortification as an extra voice broke through the air.

"What's a quickie, Mom?" Sam asked.

Olivia blushed uncontrollably and hid her head in Elliot's shoulder, "Nothing baby, it's where you go get your cane really super fast." She encouraged him, "Go Baby, hurry, we're running late, we'll stop for breakfast."

Elliot laughed softly and kissed her delicately under her chin, "We got to get that kid a cow bell…hey, I don't want you rushing to work, I'll take Sam to school and meet you at work, okay?"

She grinned and kissed him again, "Okay…but hey, if things go well today, think we can engage in a little…aerobic activity?"

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"How was Sam?" Olivia asked looking up form her desk as Elliot too his seat.

"He's a good boy, doesn't like me though. I'm convinced." He frowned and tossed his file on the desk.

"What? That's absurd, he loves you." She assured him.

"I know he loves me, I said he didn't like me." Elliot muttered opening the file.

"What happened?"

"Just…drop it okay?" He looked up at her, "I…just drop it." He exhaled, "Where the hell is Cragen and Fin, can't we get this started already?" he half yelled looking into his desk drawer, retrieving a pen and slamming it shut.

She furrowed her brow at his behavior and stood offering her hand, "Come on."

"What?" he questioned but willingly followed.

"Come on." She said again and led him into an interrogation room, "What happened? You were pretty happy at the house?"

Elliot exhaled, "Hoodwinked."

"What?" Olivia shook her head as they both sat, "What are you talking about?"

Elliot smiled softly and rested his chin in his hand, "He wants to take you to see Hoodwinked."

"Really?" Olivia beamed, then grew serious, "Why does that make you angry?"

He exhaled and leaned back in the chair, "I'm not angry Liv, I'm…jealous."

"Jealous?" She asked in pure confusion, "I'm not sure I follow you, shouldn't I be the one jealous, I mean he's asked everyone we know to take him to see Hoodwinked but never me…I'm confused."

Elliot shrugged, "I don't know Liv…it just seems like…like he's more inclined to be with you then me, he was so stressed when you weren't in the car with him, finally got him to settle down by bribing him with an ice cream for breakfast."

"El," She touched his thigh softly, "He's been through a lot, a lot of things were done to him by a male, and you know what that can do to a little boy's trust factor."

"I know that…it's just…"

"It's just what?" she asked softly.

"I wanted him. I did.' He emphasized and then knew immediately that the sentence was a mistake, "Liv-"

"No." She smiled regretfully, "I didn't want him at first…fine…but that was really chicken of you to throw that in my face." She said standing to her feet, "That was low."

"Liv, I didn't mea-" he groaned when she stepped out of the room and closed the door on him, not with a slam, but with a clam fury that simply pulled it shut as she walked back to her desk.

Elliot groaned with regret at what he'd just done and quickly walked back to explain what he'd meant but was cut off.

"Benson! Stabler! My office. Now!" Cragen barked walking through the bullpen with Fin in tow all three people looking as though they may not have slept in the last thirty or so hours.

"Cap," Elliot immediately started a defense as they all crammed into his office, "Liv, and I were just talking, we had a dis-"

"What?" Cragen shook his head, "I don't follow."

Olivia stepped forward, "Nothing Cap, what's on you're mind? Anything come up with Ganzner?"

"Well," Cragen exhaled, "We found him."

"Where is he?" Elliot stood next to Olivia, thankful when she gently cuffed her hand around his, a disagreement wouldn't let her separate from him, not right now, not during this.

"Well," Fin chimed in, "This is where we're running into a problem."

"What problem?" Olivia turned to face Fin, "What's going on?"

Cragen scrubbed his hand over his face, "Okay, we traced the post office box and got his physical address, we dumped his phones and financials, and recently there was a plane ticket purchased."

"No." Olivia whispered in shock as she slowly started to sit before she collapsed, "To where?"

"Canada." Fin answered softly.

"I don't believe this." Elliot muttered sitting in a chair next to her, "When did he leave?"

"About a week ago, but there is good news." Cragen offered them.

"What?" Olivia wiped the forming moisture from her eyes, "Please tell us."

"The plane ticket was for one person and it was round trip scheduled to come back on Thursday." Cragen explained, "We're leaving our course of action in you're hands, you want us to have him arrested in Canada, we arrest him, but if you want to wait it out...we wait it out."

"Pick him up." Elliot whispered.

"No." Olivia shook her head, "No. Wait it out."

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "Liv, we got him."

"No," She shook her head, "What we got is evidence that he bought a plane ticket."

"Olivia," Fin stepped in, "I went to his residence, posed as an old friend, his wife answered the door, she confirmed the travel…but I couldn't ask about Isaac without seeming suspicious."

"That's my point…he _could_ have Isaac." She stressed, "Then what?" She turned to Elliot, "If they arrest him in Canada, we have to wait for extradition which can take years going through the courts, and if he doesn't have Isaac and he's arrested…all it'll take is a call to have Isaac moved and we'll never get our son back."

Elliot exhaled, "This Thursday?"

"This Thursday." Cragen confirmed.

Elliot looked at Olivia whose eyes plead with him before he looked back at Cragen, "Wait it out."

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"Can I talk to you?" Elliot asked Olivia as soon as they were alone at their desks.

"About what?" She puffed in irritation and began loading files into her work bag.

"Liv," he called her name softly, "I didn't mean-"

"That I was a bad parent? Or that I don't _want_ Sam? Hey, no problem." She exhaled and draped the bag over her shoulder, "My five hour contribution to New York is done, I'll pick up my son, whim apparently, I _don't_ want, and meet you at home." She bit out sarcastically before leaving the bullpen.

"So," Fin strolled by his desk, "Do you at least have a little bed in your dog house?"

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"Hi," Olivia smiled at the receptionist, "I'm here to see Alex Gray, she's expecting me for lunch."

"Hello Mrs. Stabler." Ms. Munroe greeted, "I can take you to her classroom if you'd like."

Olivia tried to hide her disgust at the obvious attempt at brown nosing and was immediately relieved when she heard Alex's voice, "Hey!" Alex smiled extending her arm in an embrace, "You're late."

"I come baring food." Olivia smiled holding up a sac.

"Well then let's go." Alex smiled and led her back to her classroom, talking softly with one another.

"You look like you lost you're cat." Alex said as she unlocked her classroom door and walked in with Olivia.

"I'm loosing my mind, is what I'm loosing." Olivia chuckled and sat the sac of food down on a chair, "Table broke?" she furrowed her brow.

"Nope." Alex laughed and sat in a chair far too small for any adult, "Welcome to kindergarten."

Olivia laughed and positioned the monitor pack to her hip and sat down, "Low rider." She joked lamely.

"Takes getting use to, and don't ever wear a skirt." Alex smiled, "They little boys will talk about the color of your panties for weeks."

Olivia laughed, "Noted…hey, I got a huge favor to ask."

"Ask." Alex encouraged pulling the sandwich from her bag and frowning, "Hey, there's only one."

"I brown bagged." Olivia rolled her eyes, "Or rather, Elliot brown bagged me."

"Why?" Alex furrowed her brows and unwrapped her ham sandwich, then noticed the monitor, "What's wrong?"

"Ah," Olivia waved her hand in the air and pulled out a small bag of pretzels, "Precaution, monitoring our heart beats."

"Sounds serious."

"Nah." Olivia assured her, "Although Sam almost had a heart attack about it this morning he was convinced the wires would kill me, so he tried to pull them off of my stomach."

"OUCH!" Alex laughed.

"Yeah, ouch, but we hashed it out, he's good…can I ask you something?"

"You haven't asked me the first something." Alex smiled.

Olivia laughed, "Well, this is bad, um…Elliot and I sort of didn't know when Sam's birthday was, and we…missed it."

"Oh no." Alex took a sip of bottled water, "How'd he take it?"

"Well, that's just it, he hasn't said a word. I actually don't think he's ever had a birthday, which is why I'm here, I need you're help."

"With what?"

"Well, you know how Sam loves you guys, I called Casey and she and Paul can make it, but we'd really love to have you and Robert as well."

"Really?" Alex beamed, "Sure, yeah, we'll be there…when?"

"Tomorrow around six?"

"Sounds good" She smiled, "What was question number two?"

"Do you think Sam will ever truly let Elliot in?" Olivia asked point blank.

Alex leaned back in the tiny chair, "Hard to say. You know what happened to that little boy."

"I do." Olivia raised her brows, "Elliot is…I think he's a little hurt that Sam comes to me more than him."

"Well, I'm sure he understands why."

"I think he does…but that doesn't soften the blow you know?"

"Well," Alex smiled, "Give them both time, they'll figure one another out, and speaking of which, how is Sam doing?"

"Well, he's a little sore, his fingers hurt and I think he's just got a lot on his plate right now too, but he's a stubborn Stabler, so I'm sure he'll be just fine…I was kind of hoping he'd be here."

"He's in the library; he said he wanted to be alone." Alex informed her.

"You know what," Olivia exhaled "I'm gonna pull him out of school today, go have some fun with him."

"That's probably a good idea." Alex smiled "Go on down to the office and I'll have him paged to meet you."

"Thanks." Olivia smiled getting ready to leave.

"No." Alex held up her half eaten sandwich, "Thank you."

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"Hey Handsome." Olivia smiled as Sam made his way into the office.

"Mom?"

"The one and only." She grinned, "Surprise."

He giggled, "What are you doing here?"

"I thought maybe you would want to play hooky the rest of the day and come hang out with your Mom."

"Ice cream?"

"Absolutely, wait right here and I'll sign you out okay?"

"Okay."

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Olivia helped Sam out of the mustang, "Hey, I got you something."

"Really?" he grinned and clasped his hands in front of him, "What?"

"Well, I know how you don't like leaving without you're glasses, and I know that…yours were broken, so, I found you a pair I think you might like." She smiled, and pulled them out of her purse. "Can I put them on you?"

"Yeah yeah." He bounced in his stance and grinned as she put them on his face, "They're Superman glasses, because you're a super hero." She smiled and kissed his forehead.

"Thank you." He grinned and took hold of her elbow as she led him to the line.

"So," Olivia looked at the movie selections, "Are you sure you want to watch Hoodwinked again? Over the Hedge is playing."

"What's that?"

"Same type of movie, funny." She explained as they inched their way further along the line.

"There's more than one movie?" he raised his brow almost as if he were in shock.

She laughed softly, "Yeah, honey in fact there's about twenty of them playing in this one place…you didn't know that?"

"No." He grinned, "Can we listen to them?"

She laughed realizing it wasn't an obsession with Hoodwinked per se, so much as the fact that he didn't know there was anything else. She bent low and kissed his head, "You need a haircut young man."

He grinned, "Its long…I want it like Odie Fish's."

She raised a brow, but decided she wasn't gonna pull that chord right now, "Well, see…want to show me how responsible you are?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah." He grinned.

"Okay, here's a twenty, when you get up to the window tell the lady one adult and one child."

"Thank you." He grinned and took the cash just in time for the voice to sound through the microphone.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm being responsible." He informed her as he felt his way for the cut out in the plexi glass and slid the money across the counter, "Please can I have one adult and one child?"

The young cashier grinned and processed his order, "Here you go." She said sliding the tickets and change through the cut out to which Sam simply walked away.

"Whoa, change, tickets." Olivia laughed and helped him out, "Here keep this." She told him, "It's five dollars in you're back pocket okay?"

"Thank you."

"Yeah, well, invest it, make me proud." She teased and led him into the theater.

"Corn pop?" He asked tugging on her elbow, "Please?" he grinned.

"Corn pop? Honey," She smiled, "it's pop corn, and you betcha."

She made her way through the theater, proud mama, spending time with her son until they eventually found their way into the theater. They sat in the back row so she could explain to him things that were happening on the screen. She smiled as he laughed at the smallest things, the softest sound. She rubbed his back as he clapped his hands and threw his head back in laughter, truly, this was innocence.

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Olivia managed to get a sleeping Sam into pajamas and into bed. They'd decided to watch the movie twice, just because they decided they could. A message on the machine, left by Elliot, told her he caught a case and would be home, 'to talk' later. She finished the dinner dishes a stray tear of confusion here and there, followed by a sigh of exhaustion, perhaps frustration and definitely hurt.

The clock haunted her until she found herself out of house hold chores to do, her only source of comfort asleep in his room with his dog snuggled tightly against him. She sighed knowing that as much as she wanted to smack Elliot, she wanted to make love to him, she wanted him to hold her, and she wanted to caress him. But to say she didn't want Sam – that hurt. She groaned, ran her hand through her hair and made her way to the shower.

Letting the water run, she turned Sam's baby monitor on and retrieved the proper sleep attire, removed the sensors, wincing at the pain and finally stepping into the shower and allowing the water to massage her body. She washed her hair, feeling the slickness of the soap run along the contours of her body, before stepping out and towel dying. She slipped into her bed and cried herself to sleep, a world of frustration and hurt slowly taking its toll.

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Elliot quietly placed his keys on the kitchen counter, draped his jacket on the back of the couch and toed his shoes off; looking at his watch, taking note that it was one O'clock in the morning. He scrubbed his hands over his face and made his way to their bedroom turning the bathroom light on to illuminate the room as softly as possible. He loosened his tie watching her sleep. He assumed she must have gotten warm being that the blankets were scrunched down to the foot of the bed, her shirt raised just under her breast, her hand resting softly on her abdomen, her other arm flung carelessly over her head.

Elliot deposited his clothing in the hamper leaving him in his boxers. He brushed his teeth and spotted the monitor on the counter. Wiping his mouth, he took the monitor and made his way back to the bed sitting softly on the edge of the bed and warming the alcohol towletts by rubbing them in between his palm before taking them out and lightly cleaning her abdomen. She stirred slightly resting her hand on his abdomen, "El?" she whispered groggily.

"Go back to bed." He whispered, peeling the back of a sensor and placing it on her belly.

She groaned, "Hurts…off."

"I know it hurts to take them off." He whispered peeling the second one and lightly pressing it to her skin, "I talked to a nurse today and she told me how to get them off…we'll work on it tomorrow." He assured her softly and peeled the coating off the last sensor and threading it under her shirt to her heart pressing softly and resting his hand to which she covered with her own.

"El." She whispered opening her eyes and rubbing her thumb along his knuckles, "I…" She began to weep softly again, sitting up and embracing him, "I'm sorry."

He rubbed her back, embraced her tightly, "Don't be. I didn't mean what came out…it came out wrong." He assured her, "I was jealous, I'm sorry." He whispered, "I'm so sorry I hurt you Liv."

"I can't take it." She whispered, "I'm not strong enough." She confessed, "This hurts."

"I know it hurts, but you are strong enough, we'll get through this." He assured her, "We're gonna get through this, we're gonna have our son back…we'll see Isaac and Sam playing together, we'll catch our twins scribbling on the wall in crayon, we'll have to ground Isaac and Sam for being up to no good." He chuckled softly, "We'll get him back…we will."

"I don't know if I have any strength left, El…I'm so tired all of the time, I'm hurting so much." She whispered holing on to him as if she might drown in her own sorrow without his touch.

"Lay down." He whispered and lowered her to the mattress, "Are you getting cold?" he asked seeing the rise of her flesh.

"Little." She sniffled, "What time is it?"

"Late." He offered softly and retreated to the bathroom turning the light off and slipping in next to her, "Come here." He whispered and pulled her close to him, her face buried into his chest, "I'm sorry about today, I really am."

"Why were you jealous?" she whispered wiping her eyes and nuzzling closer to him.

"I just…he's so attached to you, he has a problem and he runs to you, he's scared and he runs to you, I feel like…well, I feel left out." He confessed, "And when I got to take him to see Hoodwinked, which was…, our time, it was me and my son and…in a way…I was glad he didn't want you."

She pulled back and looked at him, "I'm not mad."

"You're not?" he furrowed his brow, "I feel like crap for having to admit that."

She exhaled, "I understand what you're saying…I don't know why he chooses to talk to me instead of you, but I know he loves you." She assured him, her fingertips at his cheek, "I know that he tells Alex how strong his daddy is, he let's Robert know that his daddy can protect him better than anyone else." She laughed softly, "He tells Casey you're his buddy, tells Paul that he's nice, but he's not you, and Odie Fish…well, I think Sam just likes him for the Tootsie Pops."

He exhaled, pressed his forehead against hers, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be…I understand, but, what you said…that did sting."

"Please forgive me."

"You were forgiven before you said it." She answered placing a kiss on his mouth, "But I want you to know something."

"What?"

"I may not of wanted Sam immediately, I may have thought or felt like we were replacing Isaac, but there has never been a single second that has passed since he came here that I haven't been in love with that little boy…I've wanted him since the day we brought him home."

"I know." He whispered, "I know."

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"Hey!" Fin smiled walking into the door at Olivia's welcoming, "Where's the birthday boy?"

"Sleeping actually…he had a spelling test today…takes a lot out of him." She grinned, and motioned to the two wrapped boxes he held, "It was suppose to be no presents, just fun for him."

"What the hell is a birthday party without presents?" Fin smacked his lips and placed them on the counter next to gifts that were obviously brought by other people who felt the same way. "Where's Stabler?"

"Outside on the barbeque, hey did you tell you're partner to come?"

"Yeah, he'll be here." Fin smiled, "Where's Alex and Casey and their better halves?"

"All outside." Olivia grinned, "I'm gonna go get Sam, he doesn't know anything, I think it'll be a cool surprise."

"I'm gonna go harass you're husband." Fin smirked and excused himself.

Olivia grinned knocking on Sam's door and cracking it seeing her son sound asleep on the bed, "Sam?" She whispered nudging him gently, "Honey it's wake time, I've got a huge surprise for you."

He stirred and rolled to his side, "I'm sleepy."

"I've got ice cream cake." She bribed.

He sat up, "Ice cream cake?" he asked in curiosity, "Like a cake but ice cream?"

"Yep." She grinned and took his hand leading him to the back yard, "Honey, there's a lot of people here today." She warned him

"Why?"

"Well," kissed his head softly, "it's a very special day today."

"We get my brother?" He grinned, a hopeful streak in his voice.

Olivia closed her eyes and fought off tears, "No baby…today is a special day for you." She whispered and led him out side to the deck.

"SURPRISE!" the group hollered sending Sam hiding in back of Olivia, his face hiding against her waist as he clung tightly to her. She'd forgotten to warn him about that.

"Hey, Buddy." She turned and pried his hands free, "There your friends, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you they were gonna yell."

He slowly released his death grip on her allowing her to kneel next to him, "Happy Birthday Samuel."

It took a second, but the grin made its self known as it stretched over his face, "A birthday?"

"Yup." Elliot grinned kneeling next to him, "All your friends are here, including…Christoff."

"Christoff!" Sam grinned and trained his ear.

"Right here." Christoff assured him a gentle hand placed on his shoulder.

"Robert? Alex?" Sam grinned listening to the voices of his friends.

"Over here." Alex called back to him, "How ya doing birthday boy?"

Sam threw his head back and giggled hysterically, "Casey! Paul?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Paul assured him, "What are you? Like, thirty or something?" he teased.

"I'm nine." Sam grinned, "I'm nine, and this is my mommy," he informed the group leaning into Olivia and reaching for Elliot, "And this is my dad…is Odie Fish here?"

"The Fish is here kid." Fin smiled at the nick name, "Complete with Tootsie pops."

"Fish," Sam smiled, "We got ice cream cake!" he clapped his hand in glee, "we can eat it, huh, Mom?"

"After you eat you're hamburgers and Casey brought over some super soakers."

"What's that?" He asked.

"Well," Olivia smiled, "We're gonna get wet, with giant squirt guns."

"All of us?" Sam asked in complete exited happiness.

"We're all in shorts and tees baby." She assured him and led him to the table.

She sat back and held Elliot's hand as she watched her group of friends eat and laugh and play with her son who freely and confidently went to all. Fin had cancelled his beloved Xbox, Paul and Casey cancelled the date they'd been planning for a month and Alex and Robert postponed a dinner party they we're throwing for fellow colleagues and Cragen would be showing up shortly.

It was while she watched them that she finally was able to survey the damage that had been inflicted on this precious group of people. Paul reached for the hamburger bun, his 'A' shirt revealing the path of scars from being stabbed. He stood to his feet retrieving the ketchup, his shorts not long enough to cover his damaged knee.

She absently rubbed her thumb along Elliot's hand as Fin cracked a joke about something, most likely relating to a pimp, to which Casey laughed lowering her head to Paul's shoulder and revealing the scar along her spine, from a surgery that should have never had to take place.

"Mom, I want to play with the gun." Sam smiled tapping her arm lightly.

"Well then." Olivia grinned, "Better tell your dad to help you out 'cause I'm a pretty good shot."

"You can't touch this." Sam teased and reached for Elliot, "Come on Dad, before she gets us."

Olivia reached over and grabbed a squirt gun, "Too late, Sugar." She laughed and pulled the trigger hitting Sam square in the face.

He stood still, and the group quieted, nervous of his reaction. He felt along Elliot's leg, to his waist and hand and took a smaller squirt gun from his hand, raising it and firing at will. In a moment grown adults became children each diving for squirt guns and water balloons. Olivia managed to retreat as the doorbell rang answering it in laughter to a man she didn't know.

"Can I help you?" Olivia furrowed her brow, a mentally placed her weapon within grasp.

"I'm Mackenzie Celain…Fin's partner, people normally call me Mack"

"You're twelve." Olivia muttered in shock and then grew flush, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean."

He laughed, "It's okay, I'm a rookie, and I know I'm gonna be the low man on the totem pole."

She opened the door wider and let him in, "Sucks to be you." She laughed.

"Why's that?" he asked placing a wrapped gift on the counter.

"Water fight." Olivia informed him pointing outside, "And you're in a suit."

"Ah." He grinned, hazel eyes beaming with innocence from not being on the job long enough, "well, I can get wet in a suit just as well as anything else."

Olivia laughed, "Elliot's outside, just tell them not to fire at you…and please, um, be careful with my son."

"Absolutely." He agreed "Stabler?" He asked, "He's you're husband right, you're Olivia?"

She grinned, "Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm Olivia Stabler, and my husband is indeed Elliot."

He nodded and ran his hand over his shaved head.

"Marine?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah," he chuckled, "How'd you know?"

"Elliot was a Marine, same build and I swear if his hair got any shorter, he'd be bald too." When the doorbell rang, she excused herself and opened it to see a smiling Cragen on the other side.

"Where's the birthday boy?" He asked uncharacteristically dressed in shorts and a shirt, bag and gift in hand.

"What part of no presents isn't understood?" Olivia chuckled as he put it down on the counter.

"The whole thing actually." Cragen informed her, a gentle hug given before stepping out on the deck.

"I'll be out in a second." Olivia grinned and motioned for Mack to join the group, "Elliot is gonna try and strong arm you, don't show any of those guys fear or your dead." She teased and watched him step outside.

Olivia though he deserved a proper welcome and so she followed him to the deck, "Hey Guys!" she yelled out to the crowd of soaking individuals all engaged in shooting one another with the water guns, "This is Mackenzie Celain, you can call him Mack," she grinned as everyone starred at him. She took a few steps back and stepped back into the house leaving him there in his suit. She watched in pure twisted humor as the group sized him up and then all at once an arsenal of water balloons, hoses, and squirt guns were launched at him, a hazing, and a welcoming into the fold.

To her surprise she watched as Mack simply reached for a squirt gun and joined the fight. She stepped out onto the deck knowing she wasn't gonna be able to run around, but she did find pleasure in launching a balloon every now and again. Her elevated position giving her prime opportunity to act as a sniper. She laughed seeing Alex nail Robert with a balloon, him chasing her and catching her so easily Olivia knew she wasn't really trying to get away. Casey on the other hand, was mopping the floor with Paul, who seemed happier today, seemed more relieved than he had in months. Fin savored in the ability to simply nail everyone, and it seemed all detectives took their shots the Captain.

But it was the precious sight of seeing Sam ridding piggy back on Elliot, his voice telling him where to shoot the water pistol as he hung onto Elliot with one arm and fired with his other, a sort of sun dance kid routine. She laughed at the sight of her husband and son taking a balloon to Elliot's chest. He collapsed dramatically to the ground and Fin rushed in to 'save' Sam. Sam laughed at the sensation of being picked up and ran with, then laughed harder when he was hit with a water balloon.

"Get'em Fish." Sam commanded as Fin launched his own arsenal of water warfare.

She stood on the deck and laughed. Laughed at the site of her friends, at her husband, at her son…laughed at happiness.

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"I'm so exhausted." Elliot laughed flopping on the couch and resting his head in Olivia's lap.

She laughed even harder, "Sam didn't even make it to cake."

"We've got great friends." Elliot whispered looking up at her, "I've got a great wife."

"We've got a great son." She smiled and ran her fingers along his hair line, "What did you think of Fin's partner?"

"Fin's gonna kill him, he's too young." Elliot smiled, "He use to be a Marine, special ops."

"Really? He's so young, why'd he get out?"

Elliot exhaled, "If you knew what special ops meant…you've got to be a special breed of killing machine for that…not all Marines are built for it." He whispered and rested silently in her lap.

"Mom?" Sam whispered, "Mom, I can't sleep." Sam said padding into the living room and climbing up on the couch, "Dad?"

"Yep?" Elliot grinned and sat up, "What's up?"

"My brain won't shut off." He confessed.

Olivia recognized opportunity when she saw it, "Well, its nine-fifteen, which means it's past my bedtime." She smiled and kissed Elliot on the lips, Sam on the cheek, "Night boys."

"Night Mom."

"Night Liv." Elliot smiled knowingly at her. She winked at him and disappeared only out of sight, always willing to eavesdrop on a conversation.

"So." Elliot grinned at his son, "Big day, Huh?"

"Yeah." Sam beamed, "I never got a birthday before." He confessed and crawled up onto Elliot's lap.

"Well, there are lots more where that one came from." Elliot assured him.

"Daddy, Mommy wet a lot of people, huh?"

"Yeah." Elliot confessed, "But she was sneaky, staying on a high place like the deck, it made us all sitting ducks." He laughed knowing full well Olivia was hanging out in the hallway.

"You saved me from Odie Fish." Sam grinned, "He said he hit Casey in the head with a balloon and that's why she turned the hose on him."

"Yep…women, they're tricky business, Sam, they'll getch'ya." He chuckled and then still instantly when he rested his head on his chest and exhaled.

"Thank you for my Birthday Daddy."

Elliot kissed his head softly, "Thank you for your smile Sam, you make me and your mom very happy people."

Sam giggled and nuzzled closer, "I love you."

Olivia turned the corner just slightly to see Elliot blink out a tear as he tightened his hold around Sam's body, "I love you too Sam…so much."

Olivia exhaled and made her way back to bed, slipping in softly and allowing herself to drift, only to be awakened after several minutes when Elliot slipped in next to her pulling her close, "Familial Espionage." He whispered through a smile.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She feigned innocence.

"Right." He kissed her playfully on the mouth, "You just hung out in the hall for kicks?"

She giggled and rolled to her back letting him cover her chest at an angle to avoid her abdomen, "I was ensuring that the infrastructure of the house was sound."

He laughed out loud and hummed kissing her lips and whispered along the length of her neck, "Do you even know what infrastructure is?"

She smiled and raised his head to meet her gaze, "Does it matter when I know something far more important?"

"What?" He asked kissing her lips softly.

She paused for a moment and let a smiled creep over her lips, "I want to make love to you."

He searched her eyes, and grinned, "I want to make love to you too…"

She kissed his mouth, moaned feeling his erection press against her thigh, "Why do I sense a butt?"

He kissed her again and groaned into her shoulder, "How will you explain the print out form the monitor when your doctor asks you why you're heart rate suddenly shot through the roof?"

She laughed and covered her face with a splayed hand, "I didn't think about that."

He kissed her again, rubbed gently over against her, smiling as she moaned. His hand grazing her nipple, his lips sucking softly from hers, "Sorry, Liv, but this is against the Doctor's orders." He whispered.

She rolled to her side, "We could…ignore the doctor." She waggled her brows, "Come on, be a team player, Elliot." She grinned and tried to cover him completely, wincing when the sensors pulled at her skin, "Ahh." She groaned digging into him, "Oh, that hurt." She laughed softly, "Okay, maybe we'll follow doctor's orders."

Elliot laughed and pulled her close, "Hey," he grinned and kissed her, "Just knowing you want to…makes me happy."

She blushed and leaned her forehead against his, "I want to."

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"Phone." Olivia nudged him.

"Not mine." He grumbled back and pulled her closer to him.

"Yes it is." She muttered as the phone rang again, "Answer it so I can sleep."

"I don't want to."

"It'll keep ringing."

"So."

"So I can't sleep if it's ringing." She mumbled and tangled her feet with his.

Both sighed when the phone stopped ringing, "Or," Elliot laughed sleepily, "I can ignore it and-"

Olivia groaned when her phone rang, "Mine will ring." She exhaled against him, "Answer it."

"Nope." He muttered, "Sun's barely up…not my phone."

"Answer it." She nudged him, "It's your fault it's ringing."

"No." He exhaled and kissed her nose, "Not answering it."

Both laughed softly when the phone stopped ringing and the house phone started ringing, "Answer it." He nudged her, "It's on your side of the bed."

"Yeah," she groaned and reached for it, "An obvious set up." She mumbled and hit the on button and sleepily placing it on Elliot's ear, "Talk away." She chuckled and rolled to her side.

"Stabler." He grumbled into the phone and sat up sharply, "Why so early?"

Olivia noticed the change in his demeanor she sat up, embraced him from behind, still half asleep as he talked on the phone, "No…I'll tell her. We have to get Sam to school, but…we'll be there…okay…bye."

"What is it?" she whispered kissing his cheek softly.

Elliot furrowed his brow and placed the phone on the pillow.

"El?"

He turned and looked at her, "They got a hit on Ganzner's passport…he's flying into New York as we speak."


	20. Chapter 20 No She's Not

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 20 No She's Not

"Nick Ganzner is…flying in…right now?" Olivia whispered in shock.

"Yeah, he'll land at eight." Elliot whispered and turned to wrap his arm around her and pull her close, "Breathe, Liv." He instructed softly and rubbed her chest, "it's okay, breathe."

She took in a deep breath, let it out slowly and rested her head on his shoulder, "We're close."

"We'll see our son soon." He assured her, a gentle kiss placed on her temple, "We'll hold him again…Sam's gonna get a kick out of him."

"El?"

"Yeah?"

"What if we don't?"

"Don't what, Liv?" He asked pulling her away and looking at dim eyes.

"What if we don't hold him again…what if Nick…doesn't have him anymore?" She sniffled.

Elliot exhaled, "We can't afford to think that way…we can't." he told her bringing her back to his chest and holding her.

"El?" she exhaled, "why is it taking so long for him to fly in from Canada…that should be a short flight, what's wrong?"

He offered a light chuckle, "Good to see you're detective radar is still going…Cragen called the brass, who in turn called the airlines, they're going to stall the plane at landing, it'll be surrounded by cops and SWAT and FBI before the stairs ever hit the ground." He assured her.

"International flight," she exhaled, "there's no Marshal on board?"

"No, the flights not big enough…we're gonna get him, Liv." He assured her.

"El…I don't feel well." She muttered.

"Okay, okay, let's go." He helped her to her feet and led her to the bathroom, only to stop when she shook her head. "What is it?"

"I'm…I think I'm okay." She assured him and looked at the clock, "Just…maybe it's a little too early to be up."

"Well, I tell you what," he rubbed her biceps and kissed her forehead, "Go relax on the couch, I'll put you're clothes out-"

"El-"

"I promise to match them." He grinned touching his finger to her lips as she offered a weak smile in return, "I'll get breakfast and Sam ready, and we'll head out."

She rested her forehead against his and exhaled, "Thank you, Elliot."

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"Hey, Sam." Elliot whispered stepping into his son's room. When there was no response he sat gently on the edge of his bed as Tripod opened one eye, assessed the visitor and lazily closed it. "Sam, its wake time." Elliot spoke softly and nudged his son gently.

Sam stirred and yawned, "Sleepy." He muttered.

"Come on and eat breakfast." Elliot smiled at him, "How did you sleep?"

"I want to sleep more. Big party, lot's of stuff and lots of fun." Sam smiled then yawned and felt for his dog, "Got to go pee pee Tripod?" he muttered and crawled out of bed hugging Elliot's leg before instructing his dog to follow him to the kitchen.

"Dad?"

"Son."

"Where's Mom? She's always awake before you…why did you wake me up and not her?" Sam asked taking his seat at the kitchen table and running his hands forward and back over his hair as he yawned.

"Mom, is…" Elliot looked up a noticed she wasn't on the couch, "she's getting ready for work." Elliot told him assuming that was what she was doing.

"What are we eating? You don't cook so well, not like, Mom." Sam said innocently.

Elliot blushed at the youngster's remark, "Who told you that?"

"Remember Dad? You're dinner made my tummy hurt last time." Sam informed him resting his head in his hand.

"That was an error on my part I admit." Elliot laughed, "Okay, how about Rice Crispies?" Elliot asked noticing that Sam's head was slightly cocked to one side and expression of concentration plastered on his face, "What's wrong Sam?"

"Something is wrong with, Mom." Sam informed him as he slid off of his chair and started to make his way down the hallway, "I can hear her Dad, something's wrong!" His little feet suddenly running with Elliot following suit, running through the master bedroom to the restroom, Elliot heard her vomiting before he even turned the corner.

"Mom?" Sam stopped at the threshold with Elliot behind him Olivia groaned with her head on her forearm.

"Sam, go fix you're breakfast." Elliot instructed trying to get him out of the restroom to which he pulled away.

"I'd prefer not to!" Sam snapped and felt his way along the counter to his mother.

Olivia watched the young boy make his way to her, fingers feeling the cool marble of the sink, until they collided with a hand towel. The scene before her, a direct parallel of the scene that played out when she found herself doubled over and Elliot's eyes still injured. She smiled softly as she kneeled over the toilet, remembering how Elliot cared for her, and how today, it seemed her son was willing to do the same.

"Here, Mommy." Sam whispered making his way to her and kneeling by the toilet, the towel his offering, "You don't feel so good Mom?" he asked softly.

Olivia wiped her mouth with the towel and pulled him closer to her, "No, Baby, I'm a little sick this morning." She confessed and looked up at Elliot with tired eyes and mouthed the words 'I love you.' To which he responded with the same. Sam rested his hand on his shoulder and rubbed her back just as she had done for him on days when he was nervous and his tiny system couldn't hold food.

"I can say a prayer for you." Sam whispered in her ear.

Olivia grinned, "Think it will help?"

"God always helps…just gotta ask Him." Say informed her, "Want me to ask Him for you?"

She smiled softly at the young boy in front of her whom she saw as more of a man than any adult she knew, the compassion that came from this boy who has suffered so much, the love that he had taught her; the innocence he'd shown her was slowly redefining her life, "Please." She whispered and was about to stand to her feet assuming he would say a quick prayer at school or under his breath, instead, she was taken off guard when he placed his hand on her forearm and rested his head on her shoulder.

"God," Sam whispered, "its Sam again, please make my Mommy feel better, and keep her safe at work today. Please don't let her die, please make her tummy better for my brother and sister…Amen." He grinned, kissed her on the cheek and simply left the room citing something about cornflakes being better than rice crispies.

"Wow." Elliot raised his brows as he knelt next to Olivia.

"You got that right." Olivia whispered, stunned by the simple act of faith that unfolded in front of her and even more astonished that she felt fine, "Can you help me up, please?"

"My pleasure." Elliot grinned and helped her to her feet, letting her gain her bearings as he prepared her toothbrush and handed it to her, "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah." She smiled and exhaled, "Just a little…nervous."

"It's gonna be okay." Elliot whispered and kissed her cheek, "Rice Crispies?"

"Is that this morning's delicacy?" she laughed softly knowing they needed all the laughter for what was coming up this morning.

"Oh yeah." He sang through a grin, "You're clothes are on the bed."

"Thank you." She muttered around her toothbrush.

Elliot retreated to the kitchen to find Sam slurping milk from his bowl a sure indication that he had already wolfed down the cereal, "Whoa," Elliot laughed, "Hungry?"

"Yeah." Sam grinned and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before sliding off of his seat and heading for his bead.

"Stop right there Mister." Elliot scolded with a playful tone, "You hiring a maid service with you're allowance?"

Sam blushed and walked back to the table pushing in his chair and depositing his bowl in the sink, "Sorry, I forgot."

"No problem…thought maybe you're mom was slipping you a little extra cash for a maid service or something." Elliot teased and sent him about his business, "Go get ready for school, I'll fix you and you're mom and lunch."

"She likes pudding." Sam informed him.

Elliot smiled, "How do you know that?"

"When she picked me up early, I didn't eat my pudding 'cause I don't like it, and mom didn't eat her Jell-O 'cause she didn't like it…so we traded…but…I don't think I was suppose to tell you that." Sam bowed his head and bit his lip, "Sorry."

Elliot, hearing all of the time Olivia had corrected him recently, tipped his chin up, "Don't bow you're head to me Sam, there's no reason to be sorry, and I'm sure you're mom doesn't care that I know she had a pudding habit." He informed him with a small kiss on the head, "You need to get ready or I'm dropping you off at school in you're pajama's."

Sam smiled, "Mom would kill you…that's a saying."

Elliot laughed seeing that he finally understood that it wasn't a literal thing, "Yes, my boy, she would…so go get ready."

"Can I wear the shirt that Odie Fish got me for my birthday?" he grinned, "Please?"

"Yep." Elliot smiled.

"Can I take my new book to listen to that Casey and Paul bought me?"

"Yep."

"What about my CD that Alex and Robert got me? Can I take that too?"

Elliot laughed, "You can listen to it in the car if you go get ready, we're running late and you're mom and I have a big case today."

"Dad?"

"Sam." Elliot issued his name as a warning.

"Only one more question, please?" Sam asked tugging on Elliot's slacks.

"Last one." Elliot smiled, "What's up?"

Sam's face grew serious, "Does Mom have to go on the big case with you?"

Elliot furrowed his brow, it was unlike Sam to ask specifics as to what he and Olivia did at work, all he cared about was that bad guys got taken away from the people in the city, "You're Mom and I have to go out to the big case, yes, but, we'll only be in the backseat of a cop car watching Mac and Fin work." Elliot assured him then kneeled before him, "Sam? Are you worried about Mom this morning?"

Sam slowly shook his head 'yes'.

Elliot nodded his head in understanding, he worried about her for the last eight years, not that she couldn't take care of herself, but more so, that he didn't ever want to loose her. "She and I are going to be fine and we'll be picking you up." Elliot assured him, "So, don't trip potato chip!" he teased and tapped his nose, "Now, will you please, go get ready for school?"

Sam giggled, "Kay."

Elliot stood to his feet and turned just in time to see his wife stroll into the kitchen, "Wow, you look pretty cute." Elliot smiled.

"Elliot?" Olivia looked down at the shirt he'd put out for her, "Where did this come from? I didn't buy this." She informed him looking it over in wonderment.

"I bought it, the other day, thought you would look good in it, and you do, so there!" he grinned and kissed her forehead surprised when she pulled him down to her lips into a kiss, a small appreciative smile upon separation.

"Thank you. I really like it." She whispered.

He grinned, "I really got to keep buying you clothes, especially if this is my thanks."

She smiled and exhaled, "You're getting good at this whole clothing thing." She whispered, resting her head on his chest willing to talk about anything other than what they would be facing in less than an hour.

"Yeah, I think I got the whole matching part down." He whispered understanding her need for random conversation, "This shade of lavender always looks sexy on you."

"Thank you…and I'm impressed…you're all color coordinated today." She patted his chest and played with his tie, "But you still can't get the tie, huh?"

He rested his hands on her hips, "Don't want to get the tie."

She smiled softly and gently popped his collar and began to tie his tie as she looked into his equally tired eyes. She had a bad feeling about today; she just didn't want to confess it.

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"So this is what a victim feels like?" Olivia muttered sitting in the back seat of Fin and Mac's sedan as they waited impatiently on the tarmac for flight 0847 to land.

"I want to be out there." Elliot whispered motioning to Fin and Mac who were discussing something while being flanked by an NTSB agent and a FBI agent.

Olivia covered his hand with hers, "It'll mess with the whole investigation."

"I'd like to kill him." Elliot whispered, "For what he did to Paul and Casey…to us, I'd like to gut him and use his entrails as bait." He expounded as he looked out the window at the small speak in the air that he new was the inbound flight.

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"Ladies and Gentleman," the voice came over the planes loud speaker, "this is you're Captain speaking and we are experiencing a slight delay in our landing approach…seems we have heavy traffic on the run way. The tower at JFK has asked us to lower all window shades prior to landing, this is a safety precaution and there is no need to worry, we'll have you on the ground shortly to enjoy a beautiful day in New York City, where it is currently 68 degrees this morning and rising, with a fair amount of humidity. Once again please lower your shades and obey all instruction from the flight attendants as we make our decent into the big apple."

Nick Ganzner watched as the shades to the plane were lowered and thought it a little odd, but then again everything post nine eleven was odd wasn't it? Still, as he looked at the stewardess, watched them actively scan each passengers face as if they were looking for someone specific, a sense of worry fell over him. "Excuse me?" Nick stopped the passing stewardess.

"Yes Sir. May I help you?"

"Why are the shades being drawn?"

The woman smiled and expertly responded, "It tells the tower that this plane is safe to land. It's sort of a Morse code to the tower if you will."

"Hmm," Nick smiled, "Never heard of that."

"Nine Eleven." The stewardess answered as if that summed up everything and then she simply left.

He'd just convinced himself that everything was okay until the Captain actually came out of the cockpit area gave some ridiculous speech to the passengers, all the while scanning each face and momentarily locking his eyes on Nick.

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"Why does the phone always ring on my day off?" Paul muttered against Casey shoulder.

"The same reason it always rings when I don't have to be in court until ten" Casey murmured sleepily, "hey, look on the Brightside, at least it isn't Sam's six in the morning wake up call on a Saturday." She smiled and reached for the phone. "Novak…the white house better be on fire." She groaned into the phone then suddenly rolled to her back, brows furrowed, "What?"

Paul noticed the shock in her voice and propped his head with his hand listening intently and watching her expression. "Okay," she spoke slowly, "I'll, um; we'll meet you at the precinct."

She said before hanging up the phone.

"What happened?" Paul asked resting his hand on her abdomen.

Casey turned her head and starred at him in shock, "They are getting ready to arrest Nick Ganzner, for trying to kill us and for taking Isaac."

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"This is gonna be the biggest case of your life." Fin spoke as he and Mac looked into the sky noticing the small speak gradually getting larger.

"I have plane phobia." Mac confessed starring at the speck.

"S'cuse me?" Fin furrowed his brow.

"I hate planes." Mac clarified as the cop cars, SWAT members and FBI and NTSB agents began to discuss attack positions if things went south.

"Why's that?" Fin asked not so much in curiosity as in just a need to pass the time.

Mac looked at Fin square in the eye and tried to hide his secrets, tried to hide the pain that kept him awake at night, the pain that would keep him alone the rest of his life, "I just do." He responded and walked away.

"Hey!" Fin trotted to keep up with him and finally pulled him around by the shoulder "Let me tell you something Rookie, this is the most important case you'll ever run in you're life…you're the only one Ganzner can't recognize, which means you're getting on that plane when it lands!"

Mac took a step forward, standing only a few inches from Fin and grabbed his wrist firmly, removing it from his body, "And let me tell you something Detective Tutuola." Mac spoke softly yet his words were sharp, "I'm a nice guy, I like you, I like this whole squad and I am fully aware that this is the most important case I'll ever handle, because I understand that no parent should ever be separated from his son."

Mac clenched his jaw as he swallowed seeing Fin softly only slightly which caused Mac to simply step forward and eyeball Fin harder, "I also understand that I'm the fresh meat here, which means that you can pull pranks on me all day long, you can throw water balloons at me all you want, hell, you can even call me ugly. But let's establish a few partnership guidelines, shall we? I'm you're partner, which means you will call me either Mac or detective Celian, it also means that I will give you that same respect. I'll take a bullet for you, I'll cover for you when you're late and I'll follow you're lead and ask question when I don't have a clue what I'm doing… but I swear on everything that I hold important…if you ever touch me again, I'll break you're damn wrist…are we clear?"

Fin arched his brow and smiled softly, "I like you."

Mac returned the smile, "I never said I wasn't getting on the plane, I just said I hated planes."

Fin shook his head, "You're as complicated as Benson."

Mac returned his gaze to the sky, "Yeah well, pain knows pain." He muttered, "What's the game plan here?"

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"Hey Sam?" Alex pulled up a chair next to the cot in the nurses office, "Mrs. Rosafe told me you're not feeling so well, does that big ole belly of yours hurt?" she asked teasingly.

Sam rolled to his side, turning his back to her and sniffling, "I got sick."

"I have a spare pair of clothes that you're mom asked me to keep here for you, their in my classroom, would you like them?"

Sam took in a ragged breath, "I asked God to protect her." He whispered.

"Protect who?" Alex asked rubbing his back softly.

"My mom." He answered, "She's in trouble today."

"Trouble?" Alex tilted her head in curiosity, "What kind of trouble?"

"Bad trouble." He whispered, "I can feel it."

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"How long does it take a plane to land?" Olivia exhaled trying to calm herself, watching the monitor pack as it recorded her frantic heartbeat.

"They're stalling for time; it's only on its second pass." He assured her, "They have to wait until everyone is in position."

"I just want my son."

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"Captain Cragen?"

"Yes." Cragen answered turning around and facing a small group of FBI officials, "Are you aware we're using one of you're men as the arresting officer?"

"Yes. My detectives have informed me of that." He answered.

"Well," The agent took in a deep breath, "They're landing right now, and we need everyone in position."

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Olivia looked out the sedan window, thankful that in the morning's heat, it was rolled down, she thought it odd for an airport to be so quiet, no jets taking off, the runway shut down. Heat already radiating in waves from the tarmac. Life, in this moment, was standing at a standstill and as the pain shot through her abdomen, she breathed deeply trying to suppress it, trying to get a grip on what was happening. "Do you think he'll have Isaac with him?" she whispered void of emotion, too scared to sound hopeful too worried to sound disappointed.

"Hard to say." Elliot whispered sensing her agitation with the waiting rising. He knew she was getting more stressed because the truth of the matter was if she put her heart sensor on him, he'd probably flat line, cause he was having a hard time finding breath as it was, "We don't know if he went for business of pleasure…Fin didn't see any signs of a toddler with the mother."

_Toddler._ She winced at the description. She'd missed so much, first steps, first words, and first tooth. In however long it would take this jet to descend the next couple thousand feet, she would possibly see her son for the first time since he'd been taken.

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"Excuse me." Nick stopped the stewardess again.

"Yes Sir? How may I help you?"

"What's taking so long? Why haven't we landed?" Nick asked clutching the woman's wrist and gauging her reaction to his question.

"I'm sorry, Sir." She grinned, "As the Captain has said, there is a lot of traffic on the runway right now, and we have to wait for the JFK tower to clear us, but don't worry we'll be on the ground shortly."

"Can I use the phone?" He asked throwing her off guard.

"Excuse me?"

He narrowed his vision at her hesitation, saw her eyes jump in nervousness. Something was wrong and it wasn't just traffic on the runway. Nick tapped the phone in the headrest in front of him, "Can I call my boss and tell him I'll be late for my meeting?"

She smiled, twisted her wrist out of his hand, "Absolutely, but make it quick before Tower restricts communication so we can land.

Nick smiled softly and winked, "Will do."

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"You're Mom is a very good police officer and she has your Dad right next to her everyday, Sam. She's gonna be just fine. Besides, she's on desk duty, she won't be going toe to toe with anyone, you have nothing to worry about." Alex assured him pulling him softly to lie on his back, "Would you like to call her?"

"Yes." He whispered.

Alex pulled out her cell phone and dialed Olivia's number for him.

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"It's close." Elliot informed Olivia as they watched Fin and Mac run here and there with small groups of SWAT members, each wearing their gear, their guns, and their masks. Cop cars screeched their tires getting into position and SWAT personnel laid on their bellies in the nearby grass that separated the runways, weapons ready, fingers resting lightly on the triggers.

Olivia was about to say something when her phone went off, she was going to ignore it but saw the caller I.D, "its Alex." She whispered and answered the phone, "Benson."

"Hey, it's Alex!"

"How are you?" Olivia asked watching as the plane came down slowly, the airline name now visible.

"I'm good, got to make it fast Alex, I'm gonna loose you."

"Sam's literally worried sick about you; he wants to speak to you."

"Okay." She whispered and cleared her throat, "Hey, Baby!" she tried her best to sound up beat, "What's got you upset?"

"Are you okay?" Sam asked softly, "Are you in trouble?"

"No." Olivia smiled, "I'm sitting right next to you're Daddy in a police car and were just watching planes land, can you hear that?" she asked holding the phone outside of the window and bringing it back to her ear, "Loud, huh?"

"Yeah." He whispered, "Mom?"

"Yeah, Honey? Speak up I can't hear you too well." She yelled into the phone sticking a finger in her open ear.

Sam raised his voice, "I can say a prayer for you.'

She smiled and repeated their conversation from earlier that morning, "Think it'll help?"

"Just gotta ask."

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"Show time." Mac smiled drawing his weapon as the planes landing gear finally struck asphalt and sped down the run way, police cars complete with lights following behind it as it slowed and eventually became surrounded with more artillery than Mac knew what to do with, although, being a marine, he knew exactly what he could do with it.

"You looked at the picture?" Fin asked withdrawing his own weapon.

"I know my target and I understand my directives." Mac responded, face stone, eyes focused, trigger finger calm.

"So you killed for a living, huh?" Fin asked in pure antagonistic fashion as they held tightly to the side of a SWAT van to meet up with the plane.

"I didn't kill." Mac corrected immediately, "I eliminated threats."

Fin smacked his lips, "Right."

"You got a problem with my past job description Detective Tutuola?" Mac asked with a small smile on his face, "Believe me when I tell you, if you want to send any one in to that plane, it's me."

"Never said I didn't agree." Fin assured him as the van came to a stop and a large stair case was wheeled up to the jets door frame.

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"American Airline 0847 this JFK Tower, respond please."

"Tower 847 I have you loud and clear."

"Roger 847, this is the Tower watch commander, I am ordering you to relay the following message to your passengers and proceed as if your flight has been flawless. Do you copy?"

"Tower-847, I copy your directive loud and clear, ready for information. Over?"

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"Ladies and Gentleman," The Airline Captain's voice came over the PA system again, "I'd like to extend my apologies on behalf of the airline for the delay in landing. Please be advised that there is a safety drill in effect on the tarmac, please help us and the safety crew by exiting the plane with all carry on's in you're right hand, and please step off one at a time. Again, this is a safety drill implement by NTSB. Enjoy you're stay in New York City and by all means, grab a slice of pizza while you're here."

Nick sat back in his seat and watched as the people of the plane stood to their feet and grabbed their luggage form the overhead compartments. He eyed the window shade and tapped the lip of it with his finger as he looked around to see where the flight attendants were. He nudged it open a minuscule amount with his finger, but just enough to see that flashing red and blue lights of police cars…SWAT members lying down in the grass. He closed it quickly feeling his heart fall to his feet, his skin break out in sweat. His suspicion had been confirmed. He stood to his feet and clumsily made his way to the back of the plane.

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"They're coming off!" Olivia pointed as she hung up the phone and pocket it.

Elliot looked through a pair of binoculars and watched as Fin stayed at the bottom of the steps and took a careful look at everyone's face as they stepped off the plane. "How many are on the manifest?" Elliot asked bringing the scene into focus.

"Um," Olivia flipped through the file, "Eighty eight, counting crew."

The minutes were unbearable as senior citizens walked down the steps, kids followed along with their parents, young travelers wore earphones, and oblivious to what was happening until they looked into the sea of police cars, and SWAT members escorting small groups of passengers with guns raised and ready for any potential target that may cross its path.

"They stopped!" Elliot hissed, lowered the binoculars and raised them again, "Why'd they stop?"

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked in nervousness, "Let me see." She said taking the binoculars from Elliot and looking through to see Fin and Mac starring at one another in confusion.

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"How many did you count?" Fin asked Mac.

"Eighty two."

"There are only three flight attendants and two pilots…that's eighty sev-"Fin stopped and starred back at the plane, "He's hiding."

Mac exhaled, "Looks like I'm going in." he started to make his way up the makeshift stairwell as he kept his weapon lowered for the time being, "I friggin hate planes."

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Elliot and Olivia were so engrossed at starring at the plane that they failed to hear someone approach their car. They jumped when there was a knock on the roof of the sedan, "Hey," Cragen lowered his face to the window, "Want to keep you guys update, they think Ganzner is hiding inside the plane, all possible exits are covered by SWAT and Mac has gone in. We want to minimize any recognition…let this go down as smooth as possible right now."

Elliot covered Olivia's hand and they sat and watched in complete and painful silence.

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Mac felt himself switch from grieving father, to detective and then lateral over to Marine in a span of however many steps he had to climb to get into that jet. No father should ever be without his child and he would do what he could to get Baby Stabler back…even if it meant bending the law.

He was at the threshold of the planes door as he raised his weapon, not surprised by the stillness in his hands, the calmness of his breathing, the light movement of his booted feet as he crept silently into the plane. Sneak attack, the delicate art of surprising you're enemy and then eliminating him. That's what his training in the core taught him. Shoot before being shot. Kill before being killed. Always the hunter, never the hunted. Shoot first, ask questions later. No time for thinking, you're muscles know what to do, know how to react. This is what he has trained to do his entire life, in one capacity or another. Bouncer, Marine, Beat Cop, Detective. His career was as systematic as he was calculated.

Gently, he opened the cockpit door, keeping his ear trained for footsteps as he peered into the cockpit with gun ready to produce damage only to reveal it was completely void.

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"I still don't feel so well." Sam whispered to Alex, "When will Mom come and get me?"

"Well, I think she has an early work schedule now, maybe around noon or so…would you like to come to my classroom once my kindergartener's go home? We can hang out…listen to a movie? Or maybe some Ray Charles?"

"Michael Buble?" He grinned.

"I though you might like that music," Alex smiled, "Robert and I knew it would be the perfect birthday present for you."

"I like it." He smiled, "Thank you."

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"Why aren't they here yet?" Paul asked pacing in aisle that separated the desks of the bullpen.

"Arrests can take hours…throw a plane into it and we might have to camp out." Casey offered her humor but knew it was worthless right now. She exhaled and flopped in Elliot's desk chair as Paul slid into Olivia's. A small smile on his face as he picked up a picture frame.

"She was so happy." He whispered looking at the picture of her holding her son with Elliot's arms around her in the hospital bed, the day Isaac blessed them with his appearance.

"She's slowly becoming happy again." Casey assured him, "They're close to finding Isaac, and when they get him back…you'll see that spark in her eye again."

He exhaled and replaced the picture before looking across the desk to his wife, "What if they don't get him back…then what?"

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Mac turned to his right and kept his weapon level looking over rows of seats that revealed no one. Cautiously, quietly he lowered himself to the deck of the plane and looked under the seats for feet, or anything else that may give him a clue as to where this particular perp was. His eyes had a clean sweep of the first two rows and the middle rows as well, but there was an obstruction, a bag shoved under a seat, perhaps fifteen rows back.

He stood stealthily and walked along the aisle that was the farthest from the obstruction, no need to get to close and be surprised. He moved down the aisle, knees slightly bent to absorb sound through the rubber soles of his boots. The military had taught him well. He multitasked with all of his senses as he made his way to the back of the plane, looking over the seats that revealed used blankets and pillows that were entirely too thin and small to be of any real use.

He stopped at the first laboratory and noticed that the door indicated it was vacant; he slowly opened it peering inside only to find that the doors sign was indeed accurate. He found himself at the back of the plane with no perp. No indication of a perp other than that bag shoved under the seat on the other side of the middle group of seats.

Mac made his way to the other aisle, remembering the work he did in Somalia when he was fresh out of boot camp, he remembered the work he'd completed in the Middle East, urban warfare. Looking around the plane, this was about as tricky as it got. No place to go…yet no enemy to train a weapon on.

He eventually made his way to the seat with the bag, pulled it out to find that it was simply a bag, but the luggage tag read, Nick Ganzner and offered an address. There was a perp on the plane. The question was…where?

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"What's taking him so long, Captain?" Elliot snapped.

"El," Olivia ran her thumb over his knuckles, "Yelling at him isn't gonna make Mac hurry."

Elliot exhaled and rested his head on the back of the seat, "I want in there."

"Mac, cam highly recommended." Cragen soothed Elliot, "He's got baggage, but apparently, he's good at what he does…we're gonna have to go with him on this."

"Baggage?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "He'll keep his focus though, right?"

"Yep, his record is flawless." Cragen assured them.

"What kind of baggage?" Olivia asked. Better to be nosey than to sit there and let Father Time churn your guts.

"Beats me." Cragen exhaled "But whatever it is…it's not pretty, that boy has a chip on his shoulder."

"He'll fit right in." Olivia murmured and returned her focus to the plane.

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Mac rose to his feet again after replacing the luggage under the seat. He starred at the laboratory in front of him noticing that the door to this one also said vacant. He opened it slowly with his left hand, his .9mm in his right hand extended and ready. It didn't take a fraction of a second to recognize that someone was in the small bathroom.

"NYPD FREEZE!" Mac yelled slamming the door open the rest of the way to see Nick hanging from the escape hatch of the laboratory trying to make his way up, "Stop or I'll shoot you're balls off!" Mac warned supporting his gun with both hands.

Nick froze, still handing by his hands and in a last ditch effort waited for Mac to come within striking distance only to kick his feat square into Mac's chest, his gun flying someone onto the deck ad he stumbled back into a row of seats, Nick following him with a fist to his face as he fell to his back.

Mac struggle for leverage in the confines of the plane. He managed to get an arm free and elbow Nick squarely in the face sending him back and allowing Mac to get to his feet, a small blade being pulled form an ankle holster. Nick spotted the gun and dove, retrieving it and pointing it directly at Mac, "You're pretty terrible for a Cop." Nick smiled and stood to his feet, "Must by NYPD indeed."

"I'm going to kill you with this knife." Man responded in an even tone.

"You kill me…you never find Isaac…that is who you're looking for right?" Nick grinned waving the detective, "Let me guess, poor Ice Princess still crying because she doesn't have her little boy…boo hoo…so sad."

"You've got about three second before I shove this knife in you." Mac informed him, "Where is Isaac Stabler?"

"He could be anywhere." Nick informed him, "What makes you think he's alive?"

"I don't think anything." Mac responded, "I act…then I think."

"Mmm," Nick exhaled, "Hate to break it to you detective, but I've thought this out, I've thought of every possible scenario, and you won't win, she'll never have Isaac because I never had her."

"I really don't care about you're reasoning." Mac informed him, positioning the knife in his hand so that the blade followed along his forearms, the handle in his hand, "You made me get on this plane…and that just really pisses me off."

"Scared of heights?" Nick grinned, "Olivia is…she's also scared of what she'll pass along to her child…she was a product of rape…only to be a victim of rape…would you want her raising you're son?"

"Don't you dare mention my son!" Mac growled stepping forward, eyes trained on the gun, hand caressing the knife.

"Oh." Nick smirked, "Are you a daddy too?"

Mac disassociated, there was no way he could let Nick push his buttons, "Where is Isaac?" he asked taking another small step forward.

"Might be six feet under for all I know…of course he could also be at the bottom of the bay…in the dump…oh the possibilities of hiding such a tiny body." Nick chuckled.

"He's dead?" Mac asked.

"It's a definite possibility…then again…he could very well be alive…this hostage crap, its tricky business isn't it?"

"I could just kill you and we'll eventually find Isaac." Mac informed him.

"That's also possible." Nick agreed then gripped the weapon, "Just like a dumb cop to bring a knife to a gun fight." He smirked.

Mac grinned, it was all about the element of surprise, and in a split second he gripped the blade of his knife in his fingers, raised it over his shoulder as if he were going to through it at Nick. It was a gesture so convincing that Nick hesitated for just a hair of a second, just enough to give Mac the opportunity to drop the knife behind his back and dive for the weapon, his back against Nick's chest, forcing him into the wall as he struggled for the weapon.

He felt Nick bite into his back, and out of reflex he jammed his free elbow into Nick's side before depressing the slide release on the gun and in a split second taking the slide off and reducing the gun to a metal nothing, capable of nothing. He thrust his head backwards into Ganzner's nose allowing him time to spin around with his elbow into his face. A back fist, followed by a left hook, as Nick's face bounced here and there, blood making its way in the form of splatter along the walls of the plane.

"Stop!" Nick moaned as another fist slammed into his solar plexus effectively taking him to his knees.

Mac smiled and crouched in front of him grabbing him by his hair and looking directly at him, "Didn't think of this possible situation, did you?"

"Go to hell." Nick muttered through a bloody mouth.

Mac slammed his head against the wall and held his forearm to his throat, "Say you're sorry."

"No." Nick struggled for air.

Mac, shoved harder on his throat, "Say you're sorry for talking about my son!" He barked punching just under his ribs with his free hand and causing Nick to struggle even more for air, "I'm…sorry."

"For What?" Mac asked through clench teeth.

"For," Nick was struggling for air, blood bubbling in the crevice of his mouth, "Talking…about your…son."

Mac released him watching him fall to a heap on the floor before turning him to his belly and retrieving handcuffs from his belt slapping them roughly on his wrist and wrenching him to his feet, "Nick Ganzner, you are under arrest for the Attempted Murders of Paul Novak," Mac informed him slapping the back of his head, "and his wife Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak," another slap to the head, "And the kidnapping of Isaac Reagan Stabler." He growled with a harder slap and rough adjustment of the cuffs as he forced Nick down the aisle, "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you." Mac informed him with another slap just to make sure he was paying attention, "You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, my hard earned tax dollars will provide one for you." He said shoving Nick and causing his weakened body to fall in the aisle.

Mac yanked him up by his cuffed wrists hearing him groan in pain, "Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"

When there was no answer, Mac nailed him again in the back of the head, closed fist, sending him falling again. Another opportunity to yank him back to his feet, "Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?" Mac asked again.

"Ye…yeah…yes." Nick groaned.

Mac Chambered back and slapped him in his head again, "That's for getting your nasty blood on my shirt," he slapped him again, "and that's for making me get in this plane," and one last slap for good measure as they made there way to the exit, "and that was for anything I may have forgotten."

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Olivia sat up sharply noticing that the SWAT team members and agents were covertly making their way closer to the plane, "He got him!" she yelled in the car pointing to the stairs as she looked through the binoculars and passed them to Elliot before stepping out of the car.

"Olivia!" Cragen yelled at her as she took off in a sprint to the plane.

Elliot dropped the binoculars knowing full well the shoot to kill order was in place and Olivia hadn't been factored into the equation, "OLIVIA!" Elliot yelled sprinting after as a SWAT member in a black flak jacket rose to his feet weapon trained on Olivia.

"NO!" Elliot barked, "SHE'S NYPD!" he yelled watching as the SWAT member got closer, weapon trained on her as she sprinted. "FIN!" Elliot yelled, "DO SOMETHING!"

Fin turned to see Olivia sprinting like a starving cheetah to his position, Elliot directly behind her, he understood they wanted a piece of Ganzner who was now half way down the stair case with Mac behind him. Fin turned back to his prisoner, wanting to be the first to see Olivia and Elliot beat this man within an inch of his life.

"OLIVIA!" Elliot's voice was frantic and almost high pitched with the stress as the SWAT member started to yell his own mantra telling her to stop in her tracks and as if she were deaf she simply ran faster.

"FREEZE!" The SWAT MEMBER yelled again taking aim.

"FIN!" Elliot pleaded, "FIN! HELP HER!" he yelled pulling his muscles to go faster.

"Tutuola!" Mac shouted pointing frantically behind him.

Fin turned and saw the SWAT officer taking aim at a sprinting Olivia. "STOP!" Fin yelled sprinting to Olivia and colliding with her sending them in a fast circle but Fin fought to keep them standing, "Stop!" Fin shouted at her.

"FREEZE NOW HANDS UP!" The SWAT officer yelled moving his weapon between Fin and Olivia and Elliot who was now at their side.

"My son!" Olivia barked raising her hands vaguely aware of the shooting pain in her side, the rapid beeping of the monitor.

"SHUT UP HANDS UP!" the officer yelled again unsure of whom of the three his weapon should be on.

"NYPD!" Fin barked brandishing his bade, "I know this woman! Lower your weapon!"

When there was no physical response to Fin's directive, Fin stood in front of Olivia and drew his own gun, "Lower your weapon NOW!"

"I'm a cop!" Olivia barked over Fin's shoulder, "We're all cops!"

"My badge." Elliot pointed to his waistband.

It was a static voice over a radio on the officers flak jacket that quieted everyone, "SWAT five-six, this is you're On Scene Commander, stand down, I repeat, stand down immediately. Abort shoot to kill, I repeat abort. NYPD confirmed by Captain Cragen."

The officer lowered his weapon, "Roger that, mission aborted." He responded and offered a bow of his head, "I'm sorry, just following orders."

"Fin!" Olivia turned around immediately, "Isaac? Did he have Isaac?" she begged and looked over Fin's shoulder to see Mac standing to the side of a handcuffed Ganzner.

She walked slowly, coldly to him and stood within a foot of him as Elliot and Fin stood their positions, "Where's my son?" Olivia asked looking him directly in the eye, "Where is Isaac, Nick?"

Nick smiled, "I didn't know the Ice Princess could come out in the Summer time."

She offered her own maniacal smile and arched her brows, "Where. Is. My. Son?"

He grinned, "Maybe if I shoved a Low Jack up his butt, you could find him, huh?"

In a flurry, she punched once, twice, three times and chambered for a fourth when she felt Elliot's arms around her body pulling away. She leaned into her husband, and picked up her foot, kicking Ganzner square in the face before Mac could pull him away, "GIVE ME MY SON!" she screamed in a voice so laborious Elliot had never heard it from her, "Give me my son!" she yelled again and fought to get out of Elliot's grip.

"Get him out of here!" Cragen barked at Mac, who spun his prisoner around and shoved him roughly into the back seat of a nearby sedan and hit the roof of the car for the driver to leave.

"ISAAC!" Olivia screeched as the car left, "MY SON!" she yelled again, "Give me my son!" her voice started to calm, "Give me my son." She chanted in exhaustion, "Give me Isaac." She was down to a hoarse whisper by the time Elliot had gotten her back to the car.

He leaned her against it and framed her face resting his forehead against hers, "Look at me…look at me." He said in as soothing voice as he could muster, "The monitor is off the charts, calm down Liv…breath."

"Isaac."

"Breath." He told her again, "Breath, in….out."

She couldn't. "Isaac." She whispered, "He wasn't on the plane."

"Breath Damnit!" Elliot raised his voice only to shock her back to him, he quickly lowered it when her eyes met his, "Breathe, Baby, breathe."

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"Alex." Sam whispered laying his head on her shoulder as he hung out in her classroom, Michael Buble playing in the background.

"Yeah, honey?" she smiled against him then frowned at his clammy skin, his death grip into her arms, "What is it."

"Mom is in trouble." He whispered against her shirt.

"We talked to her, Honey, just awhile ago, she's fine."

He shook his head softly, "No she's not."

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"El?" Olivia whispered struggling for her balance, "El…something is wrong." She clenched her jaw and held her abdomen hiding her face in his shoulder, "Oh, no. No. No. No." She sobbed, "El…El."

"Talk to me…what is it?"

"Babies." She groaned holding her stomach and leaning against the car in pain as her knees started to give way to the anguish, "El, help me." She cried, "Hospital, now…please, please, I'm so sorry!" she begged him.

Elliot flipped open his phone made the necessary call for a bus and held her against him after he was assured there was a bus on the way. He held her on the asphalt of the tarmac, her head in his lap, her hand clutching his as she looked up at him, "I'm sorry I ran…I'm so sorry."

"Shhh." He whispered, "Shh, relax breath, just breath, look," he motioned to the monitor, "It's slowing….just breath."

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"Casey can I ask you something?" Paul asked still sitting in their same seats and trying to outwait the clock.

"Yeah." Casey smiled softly, "What's up?"

"This might sound…weird, but, is there a special thing for trying to kill you?"

She blinked, "Excuse me?"

"No, I mean…this Ganzner guy…will it be even more time for trying to kill an ADA?" he asked.

She reached over and took his hand into hers, "It weighs heavily on the judges mind during sentencing." She assured him, "Paul, after today…we won't have to worry about him, he's gonna get locked up…I promise."

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"Alex?"

"Yeah, Honey?" she whispered into Sam's ear as he kept his head against her shoulder.

"I don't fe-" before he could finish the words he vomited on her. She closed her eyes at the sensation of the warm fluid making its way through her shirt and down her slender body, but didn't let him go.

"It's okay." She whispered and soothed him until he stopped shaking in her arms, "Come on," she released him, "Let's get those clothes and get you cleaned up."

In had only taken ten maybe fifteen minutes for Sam to change and clean himself up. Alex pulled out a shirt from the classroom closet. She'd learned the hard way to keep a change of clothes in the classroom as many times as she has been puked on, peed on, and bled on, she knew to have clothing readily accessible.

"All cleaned up?" She asked with a happy tone.

"Yeah." He whispered back and made his way to her voice, his head back on her shoulder to which she neither winced nor took a second thought.

"Alex?" he whispered into her shirt.

"Sam?"

"Can I call my Mommy?"

"Sam," her voice was compassionate, "You just talked to her Honey, and she's in the middle of a super big case, but listen to you're watch," she told him pushing the button and hearing the voice tell him the time, "See? She's almost off of work…she's fine Honey."

He shook his head softly again, "No she's not."

A/N: You think you know how crazy this is getting…you've got no idea. LOL. Also, I'm posting this at one o'clock in the morning so yes...I'm willing to bet there was a lot of spelling errors...sorry for not catching them.


	21. Chapter 21 Loss

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 21 Loss

A/N: I finally pulled myself back out of the bed and got working on this again. This chapter has an R rated for grown up themes. If you're under 18 blah blah blah. Once again, posted this at 130 in the morning so please don't go Grammar Nazi on me. LOL.

He held his wife's head in his lap, his hand splayed over her belly as he pleaded with her to stay with him, pleaded for her to keep fighting to stay awake. Her skin was far to pale, her body too cold for the summer temperature, "Stay with me, Olivia." He whispered in her ear, "Please stay with me, I can't do this by myself." He sobbed against her temple, her hand slowly grabbing his shirt in a weak fist.

"Something's…wrong." She muttered clenching her stomach, "Help me."

"They're coming right now." He assured her, "I see the lights, they're coming, Baby, just hold on."

"No more…No more Elliot, please." She murmured, "Can't."

"Yes you can!" he yelled at her, "Don't you dare give up!" he barked holding her face in his hands, "Open your eyes! Open them!" he yelled at her as her hand fell from his shirt, "No! No! You can't go!" he cried and looked over to the ambulance that had men fleeing from it, "HELP ME!" He yelled scooping her body up into his arms and running her to meet them.

"Right here." The paramedic pointed to the gurney and immediately strapped her in when Elliot laid her down, "What happened?" He asked as they started to rush her back to the ambulance.

Elliot jumped in the ambulance after they secured the gurney to the floor of the vehicle and began their assessment, "Thirty-seven-year-old Caucasian Female," Elliot forced him self to switch from husband to detective, "Collapsed after traumatic event. Approximately fourteen months pregnant. Twins."

Elliot watched his wife's clothing being cut away, sensors quickly being torn from her skin and replaced with new ones to feed off the paramedics machines, an oxygen mask placed over her face before an I.V. was plunged into her arm. Elliot watched in stunned horror as his wife's slacks were cut away, blood evident.

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"Will we have to pick him out of a line up?" Paul asked Casey as they continued to wait in the precinct oblivious to the fact that one of their best friends was being taken to the hospital, her life, as well as her babies' lives in danger.

"No." Casey shook her head, "Cragen told us who it was, and I already know what Ganzner looks like so my I.D. won't hold up in court, we'll have to wait and see what they want to do with you…do you think you could I.D. him?" She asked leaning forward on the desk.

Paul stared down at the picture of Elliot and Olivia on his desk, "I see his eyes every night I go to sleep."

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"Elliot!" Cragen struggled to catch his breath as he stepped off of the elevator and saw Elliot in the emergency room waiting area, "How is she?"

He stared down at the floor shaking his head side to side and crying silently, unable to speak or express what was happening to him in that moment.

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"Fin!" Casey chirped seeing him walk back into the bullpen, "Did you get him?"

Fin shook his head, "Yeah, we got him." He whispered still remembering the pale look of Olivia's face, "they're gonna hold him before questioning."

"Is that wise?" Casey furrowed her brow, "You can't hold him long, and we still need a confession or a slip up or-"

"He bit Mac." Fin told her matter of factly as he slipped into his seat, "That's assault and battery on a Police Officer, plus he pulled Mac's gun on him and hit him…Mac is pressing charges to guarantee he be held."

Casey tilted her head. This whole just-the-facts-ma'am routine wasn't Fin, there was usually a snide remark, a cheap shot or at least a smirk, "What aren't you telling us?"

Fin exhaled at met they're eyes, "Benson…collapsed on the tarmac, she's at the emergency room…it's not good."

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Minutes had created hours as Elliot sat in silence flanked by a concerned Captain, Casey and Paul, who had showed up with food, of which Elliot hadn't touched, nor had he offered a word as to Olivia's condition because the truth of the matter was, no one had told him, yet. His head would peak up every time the doors would open, a doctor would come out, and talk to another family in the waiting room.

Casey wrapped her arm around Elliot's shoulders and brought him close as Paul wrapped his arms around both of them. All three bound by the same tragedy, all three weeping for a friend whose life hung in the balance of doctor's that Elliot didn't trust.

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Olivia's eyes fluttered open only briefly, she could feel herself moan in her chest, she could see people hovering over her body, poking, prodding, touching, but she couldn't respond, her mouth wouldn't open to tell them that her son was still at school and needed to be picked up or he would panic. She needed to tell Elliot that Tripod was out of food and that there was a coupon for it in the clutter drawer. She needed to remind Sam not to bow his head in shame anymore, not to be scared of the water, and to remember to pivot when he executes kicks. She needed to tell Elliot she was sorry for running to the plane, she needed to tell him she loved him one last time, but all she could manage to feel, was a single tear roll down her cheek as her world faded back to black. She was dieing and the only thing worse than knowing that; was knowing her babies were dieing too.

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At three O'clock in the afternoon all that was told to Elliot was that there were complications. Of course there were complications; did you really expect Olivia Stabler to go easy on the doctors? Elliot smiled softly at the thought, knowing she was stubborn and hoping that she was willful enough to pull through this.

He needed to tell her that no one else really could tie his tie the way she did, no one else was capable of making the dinners that she did, laugh the was she laughed or touch him the way she did. He needed to tell her that, without her, he's reduced to nothing but a couple billion worthless cells incapable of function. He needed to tell her that he was sorry for yelling at her on the tarmac and that he loved her one last time.

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Sam exhaled and wrapped his hand around Alex's wrist tighter, "She's late…she's never late." He whispered.

"Sam," Alex ran her hand through his hair, "They're probably stuck in traffic, they're only ten minutes late." She assured him.

"She's in trouble." Sam whispered and immediately did the only thing he knew how to do in a time like this, "God," he whispered, standing on the steps of his school still unwilling to let go of Alex's hand, "Please protect my Mommy and my brother and sister."

Alex smiled at the sentiment and retrieved her cell phone, "How about we give you're mom a call huh?"

"Please."

Alex dialed Olivia's phone surprised at the voice on the other end, "Casey?" Alex furrowed her brow.

"Yeah, Alex?"

"Yeah." Alex responded slowly, her intestines starting to churn, no one ever answer's Olivia's phone except Elliot, "Hey, um, no one is here to pick up Sam, I was wondering if I should take him to the center…where's Olivia?" Alex listened carefully as Casey filled her in. She looked down at the little boy next to her and felt her heart break knowing she was going to have to take him to his father at a hospital where his mother was fighting for her life.

Alex closed the phone and tried to sound chipper, "Hey Sam?"

"Is she okay?"

"She…wasn't on the phone, it was Casey."

"Casey?" he asked in confusion.

"Yeah, hey, what do you say, we skip the center today, I'll call Mrs. Reynoso and tell her you're gonna come with me to pick Robert up form work…sound fun?"

Sam stilled immediately and took in a short ragged breath, "What's wrong with my Mom?" He asked point blank, "Was it the big case?"

"I don't know honey." She whispered unwilling to break his heart, "Come on," She took hold of his hand, "Let's go get Robert, huh?"

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"Mr. Stabler?"

"Yes." Elliot's head shot up as his body instantly stood in front of the doctor, "How is she? How's my wife and my babies?" he asked anxiously.

The doctor extended his arm to Elliot's shoulder and shook his head softly, "I need you to calm down."

Elliot swatted at the patronizing hand, "Don't tell me to calm down!" He barked, "I've been sitting in this waiting room without so much as an update for hours! Where is she?" He growled stepping closer to the doctor surprised to be pulled away by Robert as soon as he and Alex stepped off of the elevator with Sam in tow.

"Hey, hey." Robert stood in front of Elliot, "Alex just told me what's going on." Robert said maintaining a distance between the two men, "and you beating the life out of a doctor that is working on your wife isn't gonna help the situation."

Elliot exhaled and turned away, "I just want to see her." He whispered, "I just want to hold her."

"And you will." The doctor chimed back in, "I was asking you to remain calm because that's what she is gonna need from you in order to sustain those two babies."

Elliot looked up sharply, a grin tugging at his lips, "They made it?"

The doctor smiled, "Touch and go, scared us to death on the table a couple of times, but you're wife suddenly turned around and things leveled out... nothing short of a miracle." He explained, "The bleeding has been stopped and she's not experiencing anymore pain."

"She's awake?" Elliot asked nervously.

"She is." The doctor smiled, "We didn't tell you because we needed her to get completely relaxed, the babies heart rates are slightly abnormal, so we're gonna keep her over night until I'm more comfortable with their rhythms."

"Can I see her?" Elliot asked wiping the moisture from his eyes, "Please can I see her?" he begged.

"Mr. Stabler…walk with me, I'll take you to her."

"My son?" Elliot asked as Sam leaned against his leg and Alex took a seat next to Casey and Paul.

"Let's leave him with you're friends for now, he can come in, in a few minutes." The doctor informed him as he led him down the hall, "Mr. Stabler, I warned you about her stress levels."

"We had a huge case." He shook his head, "It…got to her, got to us." He whispered.

"Well," the doctor exhaled standing in front of what Elliot assumed was her room, "you get to be the one to tell her, that if I see her again for stress levels…I'll take her off of work completely until the babies are born…she doesn't leave the police precinct ever again…understand?"

"Excuse me?" Elliot furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Hey," The doctor shook his head, "I told you to keep her calm, I told you not to let her get stressed out, which I assumed you would realize meant, not taking her out on a case…you almost lost you're children and you're wife today, Mr. Stabler…what's more important? That hunk of metal on your hip or the woman you love, the woman who's bearing your children…you decide." He told him before walking away then stopping, "And by the way…I've seen you and you're wife far too many times in my emergency room, and you are the two must stubborn people I've seen." He smiled softly and continued walking away.

Elliot took a deep breath, wiped his eyes and walked quietly into the room, his wife laying motionless on the bed, eyes opened, gaze directed out the window starring at nothing and everything all at once, "Olivia?" he whispered making his way to her bedside and sitting softly on the mattress.

She remained silent as she gazed out the window, wires threaded here and there through her gown, the I.V. in her arm, an oxygen tube resting under her nose. He took her hand into his and rubbed his thumb over the back of it, "I love you." He whispered feeling her give him a gentle squeeze as a tear fell from her eye.

"Elliot?" She finally turned her face to him and began to cry as soon as their eyes met. He held her tightly, stroked her back and cried with her, "I didn't think I'd see you again, El." She whispered, "I felt like I was dieing…and I couldn't get to you."

"But you're here, with me." He whispered, "You got to me." He assured her, "I was so scared, Liv." He sniffled and held her tighter, not sure if he was rocking her in her brokenness or if she was rocking him in his. Whatever the situation was, they continued to hold tightly to each other until their tears dried and she had fallen asleep in his embrace.

Elliot lowered her gently back to the bed only to feel her stir and grab for him when he went to leave, "Please." She whispered, "Don't go."

He smiled softly, stroked her cheek gently and kissed her forehead, "I'm gonna get you a warmer blanket." He assured her, "And I have a certain nine year old who is having a heart attack because he doesn't know where you are."

She smiled weakly, "Will you bring him to me? I'd like to see him."

"My thoughts exactly." He smiled and departed returning shortly thereafter with a timid Sam in the new surroundings and a warm blanket that he spread over her body.

"Mom?" Sam whispered.

"Right here, Baby." She grinned as best she could and patted the side of the bed, "Come on up, Sam."

He paused for a moment feeling his way delicately along the bed, the railing and making contact with the tubing that led to her I.V. A sense of panic sweeping over his face, "Honey." She spoke soothingly, "Its medicine to help your sisters keep safe."

"Brother and Sister." He whispered his correction and still leaned his ribs into the bed.

"Want to sit with me, Sweat Pea?" she asked slightly nervous that he wasn't making a move to get on the bed.

Sam took a step back, and collided with Elliot's leg, "Where's Alex?"

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"Alex!" Sam called to her.

"Right here." She furrowed her brow and broke the conversation she was having with Casey, "What's wrong?"

"He's upset." Elliot informed them, "I don't think he likes Liv attached to the machines."

Sam sobbed and crawled his tiny frame into Alex's lap and framed her face with his hand, "I told you!" he cried out loud and hugged her neck tightly; "I told you Mommy was in bad trouble." He sniffled, "Now she has the wires with the medicine." He explained and cried harder into Alex neck.

Elliot exhaled, "Liv and the babies are good, they're gonna keep Liv over night to make sure she's relaxed."

Cragen stood to his feet, "Good, I'm happy to hear that. I need to get back down to the station, but keep me posted, huh?"

"Captain." Elliot took in a deep breath, held it and let it out.

"What?"

"The doctor doesn't want her leaving the precinct anymore…she's officially supposed to be glued to her desk chair."

"Oh, okay. For how long?" Cragen asked.

"Until the babies are born." Elliot muttered and walked away ignoring the stare he knew Cragen was giving him as he walked back.

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"Is Sam okay?" Olivia whispered as soon as Elliot had entered her hospital room.

"Yeah." Elliot assured her, "I don't think he likes you like this."

Olivia arched her brow and exhaled, "That makes two of us."

"Three of us." Elliot whispered sitting down next to her and exhaling, knowing, she was gonna flip her lid when he told her she'd be completely glued to her chair, no canvassing, nothing except the desk. He thought of a how he was gonna sell her on the idea, how she was gonna get to do so many things that she'd always wanted too but hadn't had the time due to the job.

"El? What's wrong?" She whispered covering his hand with hers.

"How could you be so careless?" _What the hell did I just say? _He blinked and stiffened, trying to determine if that actually had come out of his mouth. When her eyes narrowed at him, a sheen of unshed tears was evident as she pulled her hand away, and he knew it came out, it came out loud and clear, "Liv-" he tried to explain himself.

"You blame me?" She whispered quickly wiping a shed tear.

"No, that's not what I meant." He assured her.

"But that's what came out." She furrowed her brow at him and fought with the little strength she had at the moment to hold in her emotion.

"Liv-"

"When do we go back to work?" She asked starring at the foot of her bed, "When will they clear me? I have a mound of paperwork." Avoidance. She couldn't cry. She couldn't get upset. But she could avoid the subject.

He remained silent, he'd basically just shot her in her knee cap and was aiming for her heart next, "The doctor is…restricting you solely to your desk, no canvassing…it's all paperwork."

She exhaled and shook her head, "How long?"

Elliot swallowed and looked at her as she returned his stare; she was exhausted, angry, frustrated, and completely hurt by his former accusation, "Until the babies are born."

"What?" She narrowed her eyes, "That's five months."

"I know…you'll get to do-"

"Don't!" she snapped, "Don't even tell me how great it will be." She whispered, feeling her throat tighten with unexpressed emotion. She stared back at the foot of her bed and exhaled, "So, I'm not only a careless mother…I'm a worthless cop…nice."

"Liv," he whispered resting his hand on her abdomen, to which she quickly cast it away and turned on her side, her back towards him.

"Please leave."

He returned his hand to her body and rubbed softly, "Honey, please, that's not-"

She forcefully removed his hand, "Don't. Touch. Me." She barked and closed her eyes letting her tears fall silently, "Please…just go."

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"Where is everyone?" Elliot whispered sitting next to Alex, willing himself not to break down with the fact that he had added salt to his wife's emotional wound.

"Cragen went back to the station," Alex whispered, "Robert needed to get back to the house, he's got an early morning field trip tomorrow and Paul and Casey…well, I think they wanted to give you guys you're space." She assured him, "And this little guy," She smiled stroking Sam's hair as he slept in her lap, "knocked out about five minutes ago."

Elliot nodded almost unnoticeably and stared at the tile of the waiting room floor, "She's upset with me." He whispered standing to his feet and picking up his jacket.

"What? Why?" Alex furrowed her brow, "She's probably still in shock or som-"

"She asked me to leave the hospital room, she's crying and she's upset and she asked me to leave." He whispered and shook his head, "I'm gonna go…pick up some lunch or dinner for her, I can take Sam-"

"No." Alex smiled, "I'll watch him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep…that way it forces you back here…don't you dare leave her alone, Elliot, you'll crush her."

Elliot nodded again, and offered a pathetic smile, "I think I already did."

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Olivia remained on her side, back to the door as she cried silently. She herself couldn't understand why she ran out on the tarmac; she had hoped and prayed that Nick was somehow stupid enough to have taken Isaac with him. When Isaac wasn't listed on the manifest, nor was a toddler, she had still hoped against hope. She wiped her tears, tucked her hands between her thighs and cringed when the door opened.

"Elliot," she choked on his name. "I just need to be alone…please?" she whispered.

"Ma'am?" A deeper slightly younger voice filled the room. A voice that was familiar but she couldn't assign an identity to.

She rolled and tucked the blankets under her, not sure if she was properly covered or not, she turned and saw a young man still in SWAT issued pants and a SWAT tee shirt, "Can I help you?"

The man, perhaps in his late twenties, a perfect jar head hair cut, and pensive eyes stared back at her, "I'm…I…realize I shouldn't be here." He said clearing his voice, "But…I"

"Who are you?" Olivia narrowed her eyes and then it clicked in her mind that he was the SWAT member who had trained his weapon on her.

"I'm Adam Clippins assigned to SWAT." He told her still starring almost with a look of wonderment and dare she say awe on his face.

"What do you need?" She whispered in exhaustion.

He stared at her again and it was then that she noticed a thin sheen of unshed tears in his eyes. "You were doing your job." She assured him, "I ran out, don't question yourself."

"I don't believe in God." He whispered still looking at her.

She arched a brow, "My son would crème you." She smirked, "No offense, but is this like a confessional thing or something?"

"I pulled the trigger." He whispered and let a single tear fall unconcerned to be crying in front of a woman he didn't know.

"Excuse me?" Olivia tried to sit up but stopped when her exhausted muscles wouldn't let her.

He licked his lips and sat slowly on the chair, his gaze never breaking hers, "I had to see you." He whispered.

"Oookay." She drawled, "I'm confused, and frankly, you're making me nervous." She said reaching for the nurse's call button.

"Please." He whispered, "Hear me." He begged.

There was something disarming in his plea. She exhaled, "Okay."

"The order was shoot to kill, shoot at will." He whispered still starring at her, and if his unannounced presence didn't worry her, his unending stare did.

"That's what they told me." She whispered, "So?"

"I pulled the trigger the second you came into my sight." He whispered furrowing his brow.

She looked at him, the realization of what he was saying, hanging low in her belly, "Weapons jam." She whispered.

"Twice." He whispered, "I pulled it once, cleared it, and tried again…nothing happened."

"What are you telling me?" She asked suddenly realizing that the look he was giving her was indeed a look of marvel, but not for beauty or career points, he was marveling at the fact that she was…alive.

"You should be dead." He whispered as another tear fell, "I pulled that trigger, I'm a great shot… you should be dead."

"I'm not."

"Obviously…why?" he asked leaning in resting his forearms on his legs.

"I don't know." She whispered in shock, the gravity of the situation weighing heavy.

Adam swallowed and nodded slowly, still unable to tare his eyes from her, "My weapon was checked…no indication as to why it would have misfired, the technicians fired it on the range…it works perfectly, so why are you still alive?" he asked again.

'_I can say a prayer for you.'_

'_Think it will help?'_

'_God always helps…just got to ask.'_

'_Please.'_

'_God, its Sam again…please don't let my Mommy die_.

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled softly, opening them and releasing a tear, "My son…prayed for me this morning, apparently he and The Big Guy are pretty tight." She offered a weak laugh, "He called right before the plane landed, he was worried about me…prayed again." She whispered and looked out the window, "He's a good boy."

Adam stood to his feet, "I should go."

Olivia turned back to the door as he opened it, "Adam?" She called to him softly.

"Ma'am?"

"You said you didn't believe in God…is that still the case?"

Adam exhaled in thought, "You don't always see air, but…when the wind moves, you have no choice but to believe in it."

Olivia smiled softly, "Good to know."

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"Hey," Alex whispered into Sam's ear, "Wake up."

"Sleepy." He muttered back.

"You know what?" Alex smiled.

"What?" He groaned sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"The nurse brought us three ice cream sandwiches."

"Really?" He grinned, "Where are they?"

"In my hand…but there's a problem I need you to help me with." Alex informed him, they'd been sitting in the hard plastic chair, him sleeping in her lap with her head resting against the wall for the last hour when she managed to ask a nurse who was leaving at the end of her shift to please get the ice cream for her. She gladly obliged and Alex handed her the money and waited until the nurse got back.

"What problem? Let's eat the ice cream." He told her feeling for her hand and attempting to swipe one from her.

"Whoa, not so fast, Sneaky." She scolded him playfully, "You got to help me with the problem."

Sam exhaled, "What?"

"Well, there are two of us but three ice creams…who do you think we should give the other ice cream to?" She asked trying to convince him to go see his mother again.

"I could eat two, I'm nine now." He assured her.

"I'm sure you could." She laughed, "But, I think we should share it with someone, don't you?" she asked softer.

He sat back in the chair and let his feet dangle from the chair, Alex watched him, still never able to comprehend just how small the young boy was, "I don't want to see Mom." He whispered.

"Why?" she asked softly, "I know she'd like to see you."

"She's going to die." He whispered, "She will, the wires are different and now she has medicine."

"She's awake, and your Dad told me she was doing better, I'm positive she's not going to die Honey, and I know if you saw her, it would make her smile and you would know that what I'm telling you is the truth." She assured him.

Sam furrowed his brows and rubbed his hands forward and back through his hair, "I think I hurt her feelings." He whispered, "Will she want to see me still?"

"As much as you want this ice cream." She smiled and then grinned when he took hold of her elbow to be led into the hospital room.

"Olivia?" Alex opened the door slowly and saw Olivia paw away tears quickly, and force a small smile.

"Alex, Hi." Olivia whispered, "Please, come in."

Alex smiled and then brought Sam into Olivia's sight, "I thought you might like to have a little ice cream party."

Olivia's smile turned genuine seeing her son at the corner of the bed, she looked at Alex, a silent conversation between the two women, Olivia thanking Alex for bringing Sam, for knowing that she needed this small comfort. "Hey, Handsome!" Olivia struggled for a stronger voice, but the exhaustion of the day was slowly taking over, "Want to sit on the bed with me?"

Sam remained quiet but slowly and carefully made his way onto the bed, "You don't feel so well, Mom?"

Olivia exhaled and wrapped her arm around his tiny shoulder, "I wasn't feeling very well, and I was really super sick when the doctor's were taking care of me, but, do you want to know something?"

"What?" He whispered nuzzling his body closer to hers.

"I think your prayer really worked." She smiled, a tear trickling down her cheek, knowing that something had changed in an instant on the examination table. She'd blacked out, couldn't hear or feel anything and then suddenly she was fine and the doctor was scratching his head telling her she was the most obstinate woman he'd ever seen.

Sam raised his head from her shoulder and kissed her cheek, " 'Course it worked, Mom, He's God, He loves us."

Olivia grinned and kissed her son back, "Want to know how cool this bed is?"

"Yeah, yeah." He shook his head as Alex watched with a tender smile at the scene before her.

Olivia put his tiny hand over the controller, "Push this button and we can sit up." She told him and then watched his face light up as the bed started to move them into a sitting position, "Okay, that's good." She smiled, "Come here." She whispered and pulled him close to her so that they could talk with one another.

Alex, sensing they would be just fine together quietly walked to the bed and placed the three ice creams on the tray, sliding it closer to the bed and motioning with her hands to Olivia that she'd be in the hall and that Sam could have her ice cream. She winked at Olivia and left the room.

"Want an ice crème?" Olivia asked as she unwrapped it for him and placed it in his hand.

"Thank you." He grinned and sat back in his mother's embrace as they ate their ice creams.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?" He asked trailing his tongue along the edges of the ice cream sandwich and frowning, "What's this?" he asked holding it to Olivia, "It taste different."

"It's Neapolitan," she explained, "The bottom flavor is chocolate, then its strawberry then vanilla."

"Do I like Napoleon?" He asked.

Olivia tilted her head unable to understand how a boy couldn't know his own likes and dislikes when it came to food, "It's Neapolitan and…you tell me, honey."

He smiled and ran his tongue along the ice cream again, "Yeah." He giggled.

"Sam, what do you think about today?" She asked broaching the subject as lightly as possible.

"School…made my tummy hurt." He whispered taking another slow lick of the ice cream, "but Alex helped me and brought me here."

"Did you're tummy hurt because you were worried about me?" she asked him as she stroked his hair softly. He nodded his head in agreement and took a bite of the ice cream, and then another.

"I'm okay, Sam, I really am…I'm sitting up, I'm talking to you and I'm eating ice cream with you." She assured him, "I'm okay, Honey."

"Mom?" Sam mumbled around his last bite of his ice cream.

"Yeah, Baby?" she smiled at the perfect mess that he was, with an ice cream circle around his lips, and chocolate fingertips.

"Can you help me with a problem?"

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Okay…what is it?"

He smiled sneakily, "There are two of us, and there were three ice creams…who get's the last one?"

She laughed out loud for the first time that day. She tilted her head back and simply laughed at his innocence, at his blameless greed for this one food, she stretched, wincing at the soreness of her body but finally retrieving the last much softer ice creamed and unwrapping it for him, "You do, Sweet Boy." She whispered placing it in his hand and watching him break it in half, melted drops of ice crème landing on his cargo pants and dripping down his arms, neither one of them cared when he handed her the sloppy and currently melted half.

"Sharing is good." He told her and leaned back in her arms to finish his ice cream.

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Olivia continued to stroke Sam's hair as he slept against her, snuggled tightly against her body, his tiny hand weaved with hers. Sticky ice cream remnant keeping them held together. She wanted Elliot to come in, she wanted to talk with him, tell him, she didn't mean what she'd said, she wanted him there with her, but what he said had stung, there was no way she could spin that remark to make it hurt less.

Olivia exhaled, kissed Sam's head gently and was just about to give into some much needed sleep when the door opened, "Olivia?" Alex called in.

"Alex," she whispered, "come in, you've been out there this whole time?"

"I told you I would be." Alex whispered back noticing Sam asleep in the safety of his Mother.

"You should go; I know you don't like to be away from Robert." Olivia encouraged her.

"No, I called him when I was in the hall…don't worry, Olivia, I'm not going anywhere." Alex assured her and slouched in her chair, "He looks like a happy little boy."

"Ice crème always does the trick for him." Olivia smiled faintly.

"What's up?" Alex asked leaning forward so she could speak softly and let Sam sleep.

"Where's Elliot?" Olivia asked with a sheen of wetness covering her tired eyes, "It's been a few hours."

"He went to go pick up some food for you." Alex assured her, "He probably went to your house to get things ready…the doctor read him the riot act."

Olivia smirked, "I always get him into trouble."

"Something you want to talk about?" Alex prodded, "Elliot was pretty upset when he left…I'm all ears if you need to get somethi-"

"I told him to leave." Olivia closed her eyes at the recent memory of his voice breaking in an effort to apologize and explain himself.

"Can I ask why?" Alex asked standing to her feet and pouring a glass of water form the pitcher on the tray for her. She pulled a few Kleenexes from the box and dampened them slightly as Olivia spoke.

"He said something that…got under my skin, then told me I can't do canvassing or interviewing, it's all paperwork for months now." She groaned and offered a look of confusion when Alex offered the damp tissue.

"You've got chocolate on your face." Alex smiled and referenced her own face to tell Olivia the location.

Olivia rolled her eyes and smirked as she wiped herself clean and peered down at her son's face, "I'm not even gonna attempt that, you'd need Brawny himself to clean that face." She chuckled and took a sip of the water Alex handed her in exchange for the used tissue, "Mmm, so good." Olivia exhaled and closed her eyes as she leaned back. "Do you think I'm a careless mother?" she asked point blank confident that Sam was dead to his surroundings.

Alex furrowed her brow and sat down, "Did Elliot accuse you of that?" _Cause Robert and I will kill him with our bare hands if he did.._

"He asked me how I could be so careless as to sprint across that tarmac and almost risk getting shot and hurting the babies." Olivia shook her head at what the SWAT member had told her just after Elliot left.

Alex chuckled and shook her head, "Men are the most inarticulate specie I've come across."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Huh?"

"Yesterday," Alex blushed, "the apartment upstairs from us, sprung a leak that came down into our apartment, long story short, I heard one of the light bulbs in our bathroom literally sizzle and I couldn't get the switch to shut off, so me, in all my law school brilliance, decided to stand on a step stool and unscrew the bulb…shocked the hell out of me." She chuckled, "Hurt too."

"Alex! Are you okay?" Olivia asked in concern.

"I'm fine, got glass in my hand when the bulb exploded. I had to wait for him to get home to take the glass out, I don't think I've seen him so angry and concerned at the same time, and of course, when I explained what had happened, he freaked out, panicked and in all of his male genius asked me how I could be so careless to put myself in danger…like I would have done it anyway if I knew it was gonna explode and shock me."

Olivia smiled softly, "Moral of the story?"

"If you look behind Elliot's words, you'll find concern not condemnation." Alex assured her.

"Do you make this stuff up or does it really happen?" Olivia asked playfully.

"Does it help?" Alex responded.

Olivia exhaled, "If I didn't have you and Casey, to help me see things differently, I'm not sure how I'd fair at marriage…where is Elliot?" she whispered.

"He'll come soon." Alex smiled and adjusted her glasses and for the first time since she'd been talking to Alex, she saw a tiny burn and some cuts on her hand.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

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"I understand that it's past you're visiting hours." Elliot exhaled, "I'm not here as a visitor, I need to question the inmate." Elliot barked pulling out his badge.

"I'm sorry Detective," the young rookie shook his head and pointed at the computer screen that Elliot couldn't see. "it says right here that he is not allowed visitors."

"For the tenth time!" Elliot barked, "I'm not a visitor!"

"Visitor implies anyone other than his attorney." The rookie replied leveling his eyes at Elliot's unconcerned with Elliot's frustration.

"Fine," Elliot decided to take a different route and pulled his note pad out, "Name and badge number?"

"Excuse me?"

"What?" Elliot shook his head, "Am I not speaking English? What's your name and badge number?"

"For what?"

"Well," Elliot eyed him, "When I go back to my Captain and tell him that some pencil pushing rookie wouldn't let me question my suspect, I'd like to have a name so I know what to put on the grave marker."

"Who's you're captain?" The rookie asked searching for information in the computer.

"Cragen, of the one-six."

The rookie nodded his head, "He's the one that made the directive…I suppose, I could let you in."

Elliot smiled, "Great."

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"You detective Stabler?" A corrections officer asked as Elliot approached the small room to question the inmate.

"Yes."

"I'm Sergeant, Hammond." He said shaking Elliot's hand, "The scuttlebutt is that this guy had it in for you, huh?"

"Scuttlebutt got around already?" Elliot asked rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, he's in there, I'm supposed to be in there with him. He's uncuffed." Hammond looked at Elliot, conveying a message in absolute silence. A message that Elliot understood loud and clear.

"Yet, your not gonna be in there?"

Hammond smiled and turned around to leave, "I have to piss." Elliot looked at the door, his hand on the door knob, his heart pumping pure hate through his body as he opened it and closed it softly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nick asked standing to his feet, in the perfect shade of convict orange.

"Sit down." Elliot whispered.

"You can go f-"

Elliot closed the gap between the tow of them will a furious punch to Ganzner's gut watching the man double over to catch his breath, to which Elliot simply grabbed a fist full of his hair in his hand, yanked his face up and back-handed him with such intensity that Elliot could feel strands of hair still twined in his fingertips, but nothing could stop him, not even the blood coming from Ganzner's lip. "When I tell you to sit down." Elliot spoke calmly as he yanked him to his feet and slammed him into a seat, "You sit." He whispered in his ear and then smiled, "Or I will kill you."

Elliot backed off and sat in the chair on the other side of the table, "Where's my son?"

"Bite me." Ganzner gasped for air.

Elliot narrowed his vision on the pathetic creature in front of him, tilted his head to one side and stood to his feet shoving the table with his foot directly into Ganzner's chest and effectively pinning him against the brick wall, "Wrong answer." Elliot seethed, "Let's try that again…where's my son?"

Ganzner struggled for breath trying to push back the table with a casted wrist and already tired body, "You're too late." He gasped and laughed, "You're too late." He taunted.

Elliot searched the man's face, "What's that supposed to mean."

"It means, you're too late." Ganzner laughed then cringed when Elliot reached across the table and grabbed at the cast raising it and bashing it into the table causing him to yell out.

"Be specific." Elliot told him grabbing his mouth in his free hand and holding his face in front of his, "What's it mean?" When there was no response Elliot bashed his wrist again and then again until he thought it was very possible Nick would cry…and he bashed it a third time, "What's it mean!" he barked.

"You kill me and you'll never know." Nick muttered, his blood splattering here and there just as the door to the room opened.

"Longest restroom line I've ever seen." Hammond chirped and looked at Nick, "Whoa, looks like a rival gang got a hold of him."

Elliot scrubbed his hands over his face and made his way out of the room.

"I want to file a complaint!" Ganzner yelled as soon as he was alone with the Correctional Officer.

"For what?" Hammond asked cuffing him as he would any other prisoner.

"For what?" Nick yelled incredulously, "Are you blind?"

"No," Hammond smiled and steeped so they were inches from each other's face, "Not at all…I saw those two prisoners jump you…that's why I rushed over here as fast as I could." He smirked.

Nick's eyes went wide in horror, "You're a liar, you saw him beat me up, you set it up!"

"Maybe." The officer whispered low, "But you'll never say that…unless of course you want to shower with the 'C' Yard population, you know, the gays and rapists…I'll let you decide, but let me tell you something, the only thing worse than a queer in prison…is a snitch."

"You wouldn't do that…you'd loose your pension."

"_If,_ I get caught." Hammond smiled, "See, if you rat me out, I've got connections within these walls that you don't even understand…you'll be dead by morning, and if you say that you were beat up by an outstanding officer of the law," he added facetiously, " then I'll put you in 'C' yard…anyway you look at it, you're dead in the morning." Hammond reached up and grabbed Nicks chin playfully, "What's it gonna be, huh? How are we gonna explain these nasty boo boo's?"

Nick stared at the officer, breathing ragged as he began to realize just what was happening to him, he swallowed hard, "I…I wasn't paying attention, and…I um…fell off of my bunk."

Hammond grinned and slapped Nick's face lightheartedly, "You're brilliant."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey," Elliot whispered, "Wake up, Alex." He said shaking her body gently and watching her stir into wakefulness, clutching her neck and groaning, "Looks like you slept in the chair, huh?"

"You're a real Sherlock Holmes, you know that?" She muttered in irritation, "Where have you been? Olivia's been asking for you, she thinks you're upset with her." She whispered as the nurses walked passed her.

"I had to take care of something and I picked up dinner for her." He said pointing to the paper sack in his hand, "Sam?"

"Sleeping in the bed with Olivia…you're a jerk you know that?" Alex said standing to her feet, "That woman loves you more than anything in this world, and I'm not exactly sure what went on between you two, but she is hurting, so you better swallow that macho bull crap and go to her!" Alex snapped, not willing to tell him she knew exactly what happened, "She almost died today Elliot!" Alex reminded him and then lowered her voice and spoke compassionately, "Look, I know you are stressed out right now, but you need to be there for her, she's you're wife, she comes first."

"She told you?" Elliot asked softly.

Alex exhaled, "She didn't have too…it's written all over her face."

"I'm a jerk."

"We've established that Stabler, so, fix it."

Elliot smiled, "Thanks for the _gentle_ prod."

Alex winked and picked up her purse, "Anytime."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot padded lightly into the hospital room to see Olivia on her side, one hand holding Sam close, the other splayed over his tiny torso, both sound asleep. He unpacked the food he bought from Angelo's and placed it on her tray stand and quietly pulled up a chair and watched her sleep with his son. Protective of him even in her sleep. Sam's hand over Olivia's, his love for her evident even in his sleep.

Elliot hung his head low, ashamed for what he had said to her, utterly embarrassed for having treated her with such disrespect. He covered his face with his hands, wept silently, at the thought of loosing his babies, his wife, at never finding Isaac and raising Sam by his self. The weight and pain of the last year suddenly catching up to him with a pain, he wasn't sure if he could handle, and just when he thought the only way out of the pain was to flee the room-

"Elliot?" She whispered softly, carefully untangling Sam's body from hers and turning to face him, "El?"

"Hey." He whispered, swallowing emotion and wiping away evidence, "How are you feeling?"

"Surprisingly well, actually." She smiled softly and extended her hand to him, "Thank you for coming back." She whispered squeezing his hand, "I didn't want to go to sleep tonight angry with each other."

"I'm not angry at you." He assured her raising her hand to his face and kissing it softly before touching his cheek to it, "I'm so sorry for what I said…you have to know that's not what I meant." He pleaded, "I'm so sor-"

"It's okay," She assured him, "I think we were both still in a little shock, huh?"

"I'm a jerk." He confessed, "I just…I…thinking about loosing all of you, scared the crap out of me."

Olivia smiled softly, "Kiss me."

He blushed, "What?"

"Kiss me."

He smiled and leaned over her body, "What's with all the requests to be kissed lately?"

"Kiss me." She whispered resting her hand on the back of his neck, "and then just admit it."

"Admit what?" he furrowed his brow.

"That you're an inarticulate species." She whispered and pulled his lips to hers, a kiss entirely gentle, layered with forgiveness between the two, desire for one another and a passion between them that no one else could hold a flame to. "Thank you." She whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth after separating.

He smiled, "I admit it, I'm an inarticulate species…but, I don't think it's possible to be more deeply in love with you than I already am."

She sniffled, kissed him again and smiled softly, "You know…if it wasn't for my current situation, I'd make love to you right now."

He grinned, "And I'd take you up on it." He whispered kissing her softly on the corner of her mouth and letting her lean back to her pillow, "Hungry?"

"Mmm, yeah." She grinned, "hospital food in terrible."

He brought the tray to her and handed her a fork, "Angelo's."

"Really?" She beamed, "Man, I haven't had Angelo's since…Casey and Paul, and we didn't even eat then."

He laughed softly as she reached for her food, he rubbed her belly, "Boys okay?"

She smiled around a breadstick, "Girls are fine…doctor said…miracle."

Elliot looked passed her at the sleeping boy still nestled next to her, "Do you think he…do you think that somehow God told him, or he somehow sensed it?"

Olivia licked her lips and weaved her fingers into Elliot's, "Absolutely."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What did you do?" Fin smacked his lips as a very late Elliot sat in his chair.

"What are you talking about?"

"Cap's on a war path." Mac chimed in, "And if it was one of us, we'd have been spanked already, how's you're wife?"

"Olivia is finally at home resting." He assured them, "Didn't even wake up when Sam and I left."

"That explains that tie then." Fin joked.

"Funny." Elliot groaned, "I forgot to have Sam tie it, and it's all crooked."

"Wait," Mac laughed, "You really can't tie a tie?"

Elliot groaned, "I can tie a damn tie."

"Just not good." Fin smiled.

"STABLER!" Cragen barked opening his office door as if he were some character from a show about nothing. "GET IN HERE!" he growled pointing at Elliot.

"Told you it was you." Mac arched his brow and both he and Fin stepped away as if Elliot had suddenly become toxic.

"Pay up." Fin told Mac as he extended his palm.

"How do you figure?" Mac furrowed his bro.

"I bet you Stabler was gonna get creamed, he's getting creamed."

"How do you know? Maybe Cragen is just venting."

Fin smiled and wiggled his fingers, "I've been here a long time…Elliot's dead."

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"Cap?" Elliot asked shutting the door and subsequently encasing himself in the office with a pacing and very angry Cragen.

Cragen forced himself to speak calmly, "For the sake of me not taking your badge and gun right now, how is Olivia?"

Elliot furrowed his brow, "She's good, she's getting rest, is eating a lot, talking…although I think there's things she 's holding out on but I thi-"

"Can you explain to me how you thought it would be a good idea to go to the combs and question Ganzner."

The color drained from Elliot's face, but he remained standing, "He has my son."

"Do we know that?" Cragen asked, "Do we know that without a shadow of a doubt? Because I'd be the first one to cut his arms off and beat him with them if that were the case…what the hell were you thinking Elliot?"

Elliot furrowed his brow and bit his lip trying not to yell, "I was thinking…it's been too long since I held my son."

Cragen exhaled and scrubbed his hands over his face, "You're off the case."

"What!" Elliot barked, "You can't do that!"

"I can, and I will!" Cragen barked, "Fin and Mac, are good at what they do!"

"He's MY SON!"

"And I'm sorry!" Cragen shouted and immediately lowered his voice, "I'm sorry Elliot, but, you can't walk in a beat a suspect, you're lucky he's sticking to some ridiculous story about falling off his bunk."

"Then how did you find out?"

Cragen exhaled, "Sign in log Elliot, if you're gonna do something like that, you don't sign in for crying out loud."

"He wouldn't let me in otherwise."

"You messed up." Cragen spoke softly, "And I would have done the same exact thing you did which is why I'm not disciplining you-"

"You're just taking me off of my son's case." Elliot scoffed.

Cragen barked out, "Look! If you ever want to see you're son then you need to let us handle this or IAB is gonna be up our asses like an over zealous proctologist, do you understand what I'm saying? You're too damn close to this…let us help you."

"You'll keep us in the loop?" Elliot whispered in defeat.

"The minute something happens we call you."

Elliot nodded his head in agreement, "Fine." He whispered, "But just so we're clear…if I'd wanted to kill him-"

"You would have…I know."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Liv, were home!" Elliot called into the house with Sam in tow. When there was no response Elliot helped Sam with his back pack, "Snack or nap?"

"Nap." Sam smiled, "Unless I could have an ice cream?"

"Fat chance buddy, you're mom would kill me if I let you spoil you're supper."

Sam furrowed his brow in disappointment, "Okay."

"I'll wake you up so we can hit the homework huh?"

"Okay." He agreed and let his dog in as he went to his room.

Elliot attempted to loosen his tie but seemed only to get the incorrect knot tighter, which meant he would either have to cut it off or admit to Olivia that he couldn't get himself dressed without her or Sam. "Pathetic Stabler." He muttered and then stopped at the door to the master bedroom, watching Olivia sleeping quietly, peacefully, a small smile on her lips, her hand over her abdomen, hair covering her eyes. He grinned at the sight, and was going to wake her up but decided she needed her sleep.

He fought with the tie until he simply gave up and decided he would cut it off later. He carefully removed his dress shirt and opted to stay in his undershirt out of pure fear he would manage to choke himself trying to take the shirt off around the tie. He changed his slacks for a pair of board shorts and smiled when he noticed she hadn't put the monitor on. She hated it he knew but it had to be done and he would.

He repeated the process from just the other night and softly applied the sensors and turned on the monitor. "You are trying to torture me aren't you?" She muttered.

"Nope." He grinned watching her wake up, "Just trying to keep my three favorite girls safe."

"El, you got to pick a sex and stay with it." She laughed and opened her eyes slowly, "You're confusing me."

"Where's the fun in that?" he teased and kissed her cheek, "How did you sleep?"

"I've been asleep all day." She grinned and rested her hand on his thigh, "And I loved it."

He chuckled, "Sam got an 'A' on his science test."

"Really?" She beamed, "That's great, we'll have to make a big deal about it."

"He memorized a lot of stuff for that test." Elliot informed her as he stretched along side of her. "How have you been doing…with the nightmares?"

She smiled softly and nuzzled closer to him, "Good, few and far between I guess."

"You guess?"

"Yeah…they're there, just…not every night like they were."

He kissed her head gently, "I'm glad they're getting better."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to make love to you." She whispered pulling him to her by his tie that he had tried to hide in his shirt.

He smiled, willingly going to her and kissing her passionately on mouth, his hand in her hair, her chest against his, "It's been awhile." He whispered rubbing his hand along her leg, "And I really want to make love to you…but, I'm pretty sure it will raise your heart beat."

She smiled against his mouth, "Are you turning me down?"

"For your own benefit and reluctantly I might add." He smiled, "But, I can't tell you how happy you make me when you tell me that." He smiled and draped his leg over hers pulling her tight against him.

She gasped softly and caught herself blushing, feeling his erection against her belly, "I can't believe you're teasing me like this." She whispered.

He kissed and tongued her neck, making his way to her mouth and tracing her lips seductively with the tip of his tongue, "Believe me when I tell you, I don't want to be teasing you, and I'd rather be taking you into ecstasy." He whispered letting his five O'clock shadow rub against her cheek.

She smiled at the cheek to cheek sensation, lips parting as her head rolled back at his touch, "You better not start something you're not gonna finish, Stabler."

He smiled against her skin and pulled back, "What would you like me to cook you for dinner?"

She giggled, "You're cooking?"

"Yeah, I got this new recipe, I want to try out."

"Oh." She whispered. She smiled to herself knowing he was trying to hold down household chores, a job, her delicate situation and Sam, he deserved much more than a kiss, much more than a tease.

He sat up, placed his feet on the cool of the floor, his back to her, "Want me to surprise you?"

She kneeled behind him, draping her arms over his shoulders and kissing his neck gently, trailing her tongue along the expanse of flesh, "I think the question is," she whispered taking hold of the tie and loosing the knot, "do you want me to surprise _you_?"

He smiled as her mouth caressed his neck, her hands softly making their way along his chest and abs taking hold of the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head before her lips started a trail along his spine. "Liv…we can't."

She nibbled softly on his ear lobe, "No. I can't." she corrected, untying the draw string to his board shorts.

"Liv-"

"Shh, I can't…you can." She whispered in his ear and slipped her hand into the waistband of his shorts, "Let me do this for you."

"Liv, I want you to have fun too and-"

"This is fun for me." She assured him kissing his neck and stroking him gently, her tongue caressing his neck as he leaned back on her shoulder sighing in pleasure.

"Your hands are amazing." He whispered.

She smiled and withdrew her hand painfully slow he covered it with his own, "Don't stop." He groaned.

She chuckled seductively, "Wasn't planning on it." She whispered kissing his ear again and repositioning herself to the side of him, pushing him gently back. She straddled him, a seductive stare and sexy mouth as he crab walked to the head on the bed and she slowly and teasingly made her way back to his body, to his chest and mouth.

He started to make his way up her shirt to which she removed his hand softly and shook her head, "Don't tempt me." She whispered bending her body to his and kissing his mouth, biting softly at his lip, his body swelling under her. "You're an amazing man." She whispered moving further down towards his knees.

He laughed, "Your intending on killing me tonight aren't you?"

She smirked seductively and sunk her nails into his chest, raking them down his body and smiling as he hissed in air, arched his back and groaned her name. She kissed the bright red streaks soothing his skin until she reached his mouth again, "You like that?"

He chuckled, eyes bright, "Yeah."

"I have something else in mind." She whispered keeping her gaze on his as she finished untying his shorts and slowly removed the fabric, his hips arching as she removed them. His erection dancing happily in its freedom.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked, his breath hitching as her body rubbed over him.

She lowered her lips to his ear, her hands weaved with his, pinning them to his side, as she whispered, "I want you to cum inside of me."

He grinned, "Liv," he raised his head and kissed her mouth softly, "We agreed that you couldn't make love right now." He swallowed hard as she backed slightly and rubbed her cotton clad bottom against his shaft.

She smiled and kissed his chest trailing a wicked path down his body, kissing his belly button and looking up at him, "Who said anything about making love to me?" she asked bending lower and squeezing his hands softly as she took him into her mouth.

"Liv." His voice shrieked in a way she hadn't heard before. She smiled around him and lightly raked her teeth over him causing him to arch and hiss, "Liv, we haven't…we haven't discussed this."

She applied firmer manipulation as she let him slip from her mouth, his erection rubbing against her body as she made her way back to his face resting on her forearm and continuing to stroke him, "What did you want to talk about?" She whispered huskily.

His eyes clamped shut, his neck arching trying to contain himself, "I just…are you sure you want to do this?"

She kissed him again, moaning against him, before crawling backwards letting her hair fall and tickle his abdomen, as she kissed his naval and journeyed lower, a delicate kiss before she looked back at him, his weight rested on his elbow, head hanging back, "I'm sure." She whispered and kissed his tip softly before taking him back into her mouth.

She cradled his sac softly; a delicate caress and playful come hither motion, his moans spurring her on in her suddenly brazen confidence. "Olivia." He whispered her name for the sake of hearing it fall from his own mouth, as she ran her fingernails along his thighs. He gently thrust into her mouth, his hands caressing her face as she moved over him. "You're beautiful, Liv." He whispered arching his hips off of the mattress and groaning, "I'm close." He whispered into the atmosphere, she applied more intensity, moving faster and deeper hearing him groan and dig his fingers into her shoulders, "Tell me if you don't want to." He ground out through a clenched jaw.

She reached up keeping him in the warmth of her mouth as she raked her fingernails across his chest and down his arms lacing her fingers with his.

He panted heavily, sweat coating his body, "I'm coming." he moaned, "Tell me if-"

She squeezed his hands in her own, giving her consent for his release, he screamed out, unable to control it as she took him for everything he had. He squirmed trying for the first time since they'd been married to get away from the intense pleasure she was inflicting on his body. She made it a point to graze him gently with her teeth as she sat up and looked at him wiping the corners of her mouth and smiling.

He panted and grinned as she lowered her lips to his kissing him, allowing him to taste himself in a delicate mixture of each other; she rubbed over his already sensitive body and watched him hiss in a combination of pain and pleasure. She smiled in victory and laid to the side of him nuzzling close as he embraced her, "Surprise." She whispered.

He chuckled, "Definitely…what's gotten into you?"

She laughed softly and raised her face to him, "Hey, did that qualify as a little bit dirty?"

He blushed intensely and pushed her hair behind her ear, "Do you think it did?"

"Yeah," She grinned, "In my own way, though."

He closed his eyes and kissed her playfully, "You're an amazing creature."

"El?"

"Liv?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

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One week after Elliot had been removed from the case, he had managed to convince Olivia that it was for the right reasons. Sam was enrolled in the summer session of school after much debate as to weather or not they were pushing him too hard to catch up to the other students. Today however, Olivia wished she were back at home playing with Sam, or watching a movie with Elliot, instead of sitting in an observation room with her husband flanked by Casey and Cragen and starring in silence at Nick Ganzner on the other side.

"What happened to his face?" Olivia muttered.

"He fell out of his rack." Cragen answered looking at Elliot and then back at Ganzner, "We got him on assault of a police officer, one year in county. Mac and Fin are getting ready to do the interrogation we're just waiting on the ADA."

"Who is it?" Olivia asked clutching Elliot's hand as they both continued to stare at the only person that could lead them to their son, alive…or dead.

"ADA Panzarilla." Casey whispered stepping up to the glass to get a better view of the man sitting in handcuffs.

"I hear he's ruthless." Elliot muttered.

"Which is why I asked for him." Casey responded, neither person in the group making eye contact with one another.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Nick Ganzner?" Fin asked walking into the interrogation room.

"Looks that way." Nick responded with a smirk.

"Want a soda?" Fin asked sitting down and placing the file to the side of them.

"So you can get my DNA?" Nick grinned, "I don't think so."

"Hey," Fin raised his hands, "I'm trying to be a nice guy here, I don't know why they're busting you're balls, I mean your successfully, your good looking, why would you steal a kid…let alone a cop's kid? Just doesn't make sense if you ask me." Fin exhaled and opened the file, "But I got to come in here and ask these ridiculous questions 'cause some punk cops can't accept the fact that their son is dead." He shook his head, "Piss poor if you ask me." Fin wanted to shoot himself for having to come at the interrogation form this angle of making Elliot and Olivia look bad, but it was the best angle they had to do good cop bad cop. And when Mac came in, it was gonna be a bad cop routine that no one would be prepared for. It would make Elliot's hot tempered interrogations look pansy.

"I'm not sure why I'm here." Nick smiled.

Fin pretended to flip through the charts, "Looks like, two attempted murder charges…the Novaks…bunch of knuckle heads if you ask me, then there is a violation of a restraining order, and the kidnapping charge." Fin smacked, "Man, who did you piss off?"

"Apparently Olivia." Nick chuckled brightly, "But she's easy to provoke isn't she?"

"I personally can't stand working with her." Fin shrugged, "But to each his own…but what I don't understand is, if you hate Benson so much, why take her kid, same genes, right?"

"Becua-" Nick suddenly stopped realizing a trap had been set. He cleared his throat, "I already told you I didn't take her son, I've never even seen him."

"How do you know her kid is a boy?"

Nick smiled, "Satan's spawn."

Fin nodded softly wanting to draw his weapon and shoot Nick between the eyes, "If you didn't take the boy, then why did you tell Olivia's son Sam that you had him?"

"I never said that." Nick protested.

"So…an eight year old is lying?"

"He is Olivia's son." Nick shrugged, "Bad genes."

Fin leaned forward, "We have you on tape at his school."

"Bull." Nick smiled.

"Okay." Fin grinned, "He's here at the station, why don't you stand in a line up, see if he can identify you."

"How is a little blind boy gonna identify me?" Nick laughed then turned stone serious when he realized Fin wasn't.

"How'd you know he was blind if you didn't break you're restraining order."

"It was in a newspaper article." He offered.

"That you wrote." Fin reminded him, "We checked the pseudonym…it's you."

Nick leaned back slightly, "What do you want?"

"Where's Isaac?"

Nick grinned, "I'll tell you what…bring that little snot brat in to pick me up out a line up. I don't think he can do it, and without the I.D…you've got nothing.

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"He's not gonna break is he?" Casey whispered starring at the glass.

"Sam can identify him, he told us he knows exactly who it is." Olivia turned to Panzarilla who had walked in just as the interrogation began. She almost had to laugh at the bow tie, and half glasses complete with a sweater vest. He was a dork…with a flawless record.

"I'm not sure the jury will buy a blind nine year old's I.D." He told them honestly.

"My husband." Casey whispered and turned to the ADA, "I can't give an I.D. because I knew his name and I knew him prior, it would be biased." He exhaled, "But, Paul, he's never meant Ganzner…he's in the hall and I know he can identify him, he can cooberate Sam's I.D."

Panzarilla nodded and mulled the situation over, "Okay, let's do it."

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"All right Mr. Novak." Panzarilla ushered him into the room, "Wait until they all come in and then take a good look and tell us who you saw that night."

Paul exhaled and nodded his head softly, "I'm ready."

Cragen exhaled knowing Elliot and Olivia couldn't be in the room to witness this, he depressed the button on the speaker, "Send them in."

One by one men filed into the room all dressed in black with ski masks and numbers being held in front of them, Paul furrowed his brow and shook his head, "What is this? A joke?"

Cragen cleared his throat, "They have to have the people dress the way you described the person who attacked you…can you still make the I.D?"

Paul stepped as close tot the glass as possible, "Can they step forward?"

Cragen pushed the button again, "Everyone please step up to the window?"

Like a sea of black all ten men approached the window and Paul studied each figure closely, eyes, old and young, light and dark. Lips full and chapped, thin and smooth. He paused at number six and studied the figure longer taking in the shady figure and continuing to the end.

Cragen exhaled as Paul stopped looking and stepped back. He was about to call it when Paul surprised him by returning to number three and tapping the glass, "That's him."

Cragen pressed the button, "Please remove the ski masks."

Each person did so all in unison but Paul remained focuses on number three as the ski mask was removed, and although he didn't know it in that second, he was starring directly at Nick Ganzner.

"Thank you Mr. Novak." Panzarilla nodded.

"Was I right?" Paul furrowed his brow, "Is it him?"

"I can' tell you until Sam has made his I.D."

Paul exhaled, "Okay."

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"Here's the situation." Fin explained to Nick, "They're gonna bring in the little boy, you so much as blink too loud and your gonna get shot…buy a lot of cops, you feel me?"

Nick grinned, "Bring the blind kid on."

The set up was more Elaborate for Sam because it wasn't a visual I.D. but Elliot and Olivia were allowed to observe through the glass as Fin led Sam into the empty room and started to explain himself to him.

"Alright, Sam, can you feel all the chairs?" Fin asked as he led him around the room.

Sam stuck out his hand and nodded, "Will Mom be with me?"

"No, I'm sorry, but she's looking through a window and she can see everything that happens." Fin assured him, "Now, in a minute ten men are going to walk in here and I'm gonna sit you next to each one just how you told your mom he touched you at the hospital, okay?"

"Will he hurt me?"

"No, me and Mac and three other police officers will be in the room with you."

Sam exhaled and nodded his consent, "Send them in." Fin yelled into the hall and waited for each person to file in and take their seats as Sam clutched Fin's hand.

"Odie Fish?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared."

Fin took his badge from his belt and clipped it onto Sam's allowing his fingers to touch it, "No one can touch you with that on."

Sam shook his head and turned in the direction of the men, stopping at the first and simply passing when the smell wasn't familiar, he paused at the second man, and took a small sniff then stood next to the third, taking in the figures scent and frowning. "Can I touch him, Odie?"

"Yep, there's a police man right behind him."

Sam reached out and felt his hand taking a deep breath and sitting next to him and placing the hand over his shoulder adjusting the fingers as he saw fit and biting his lip before sliding off the chair and standing in front of the figure taking his hands hands and raking them over his forearms. Sam exhaled in frustration and ran his hands forward and back over his hair then took the figures hand and slowly lifted it to his cheek and pulling away as if the touched had seared his skin. "Odie!" he screeched and pulled on his slacks.

"Is that him?" Fin asked.

"It's him! It's the boogieman! He tried to take me to Isaac!" Sam screamed. Fin picked him up quickly and rushed him out of the room meeting both Olivia and Elliot outside of the observation room.

"Sam." Olivia took him into her arms as Elliot wrapped them both protectively in his, "Baby its okay." She whispered, "I'm right here."

"It's him, Mom."

Olivia kissed the top of his head, "You did so good Baby." She assured him knowing that Sam had just gone toe to toe with his worst fear and identified the Boogieman…correctly and without hesitation.

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"You ready to turn the heat up?" Cragen asked Fin as Olivia entered the observation room again.

"I'm ready if Olivia and Elliot are, and Mac is dying to do this." Fin assured them.

"You two ready?" Cragen asked.

"Yeah." Olivia exhaled, "Alex and Robert picked up Sam."

"Alright," Cragen nodded to Fin, "you and Mac are on."

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"Nick," Fin exhaled walking into the interrogation room, "I got to tell you, it doesn't look good, two people that you swore you didn't touch…just identified you in a line up."

Nick's face turned white, "Excuse me?"

"Mr. Novak and Samuel Stabler, just identified you…I suggest you take a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

Fin smiled knowing that sentence was Mac's cue, and like a trained actor Mac responded slamming the door open, "You're offering that piece of crap a deal!" Mac shouted walking straight for Ganzner only to be cut off by Fin.

"Hey, hey come on man, he's a good guy." Fin played his façade to a tee.

"A good guy!" Mac barked incredulously and backed away from Fin, a movement that was rehearsed between the two. "He kidnapped Elliot and Olivia's son and beat the hell out of the Novaks!"

"You can't prove that." Fin protested, "He seems nice."

Mac dropped his jaw in shock and stepped within inches of Fin, "Get the hell out of my interrogation room."

"You better realize who you're talking to." Fin smacked his lips aware that Nick was starring at both of them in shock.

"And you better recognize that I'm the top dog here and I have half the mind to shoot you for even suggesting that this maggot is even half way decent!"

"You get the hell out!" Fin barked and pushed Mac, a move that was completely expected.

Mac drew his weapon and trained it on Fin as Nick stood to his feet and moved to the corner, "A little help in here!" he barked.

"Get out!" Mac yelled at Fin.

"Make me!" Fin shouted.

Mac placed the gun at Fin's temple, "Anyway you look at it, I'm gonna nail one of you…if not both, I suggest you choose you're course of action wisely."

Fin exhaled hearing Nick screaming for help in the corner, their good cop bad cop working as planned, "Alright, alright, just chill out." Fin responded raising his hands and backing out of the room giving a look of apology to Nick, "Sorry, man, this dudes crazy." He said before walking out and returning to the Observation room.

"Think that was necessary?" Cragen asked in irritation, "You're not a cowboy."

Fin nodded to the window as Mac holstered his weapon and yanked Nick from the ground slamming him into the chair, "Yippe Ki Yea." He muttered as Mac started the bad cop routine.

"You want a soda?" Mac asked pacing quickly to and fro across the cement floor.

"No." Nick whispered and was surprised when Mac angrily slammed an open coke can in front of him, "drink that damn soda!" he pointed to it and looked at Nick in pure hate.

Nick shrugged, "I'm cuffed bone head."

"Well," Mac smiled, "Let me help you out." He said grabbing the back of Nick's head and thrusting it back causing his mouth to open as he poured the drink into Nick's mouth, "Where's the kid?"

Nick gagged and trashed his head just enough for the can to drop out of Mac's hand, "I don't know."

Mac pulled up a chair and sat in it backwards so he was within inches of Nick's ear, "When I was in boot camp, we saw all of these interesting forms of torture." He smiled pulling a toothpick from behind his ear and placing it in his mouth casually, "You would be surprised what people will tell you."

"Do you think the Captain will actually let you torture someone in custody?"

Mac grinned reaching behind Nick out of sight from the observers. He squeezed the fingers of his hand roughly, and heard him moan in pain, "What he doesn't actually see, isn't gonna kill him is it? Although, you're gonna wish you were dead by the time I'm done with you."

Nick smiled, "I want my attorney."

Mac chuckled and yelled out, "He wants his attorney." He lowered his lips to Nick's ear, "Guess what Sugar Pie? He's not gonna be here for awhile, which means I have awhile to have fun." He chuckled bending his pinky finger back until he cried out.

Mac released like he were a trained dog. "Where's the boy?"

"Screw you."

"You're really not my type." Mac whispered taking the toothpick out of his mouth and holding it between his thumb and index finger, "Did you know that the fingertips have the most amount of nerves at the end?"

Nick swallowed and looked at Mac, "You're not getting a word out of me. I want to see Olivia Benson suffer for the rest of her life wondering if her son is dead or not."

"Did you know that toothpicks come in plastic too?"

"Excuse me?"

"Makes them stronger." Mac smiled, "I'm gonna ask you again where the boy is, and I you tell the truth I'm going to place this toothpick under your fingernail, and I assure you, it is the most excruciating feeling you will ever experience."

Nick made his hands into fists behind him protecting the nails of his fingers as his breathing became shallow in anticipation of what was happening, "Not a word."

Mac let a smile creep over his face, "Oh, I can get a word." He assured him and roughly took hold of his wrist and twisted it just so, subsequently exposing his fingertips to which he took hold of his middle finger and bent it back. "Where's the boy?"

Nick swallowed and closed his eyes but remained silent.

"Suit yourself." Mac whispered and started to push the toothpick just under the nail of Nick's finger smiling as Nick's hand tensed under the pain. Mac stopped advancing the toothpick, "Where's the boy?"

Silence.

Mac shoved it in further and Nick cried out hitting his forehead against the table in an effort to assuage the pain in his hand, "The boy?" Mac asked calmly as he continued to shove the toothpick in farther the blood starting to trickle down Mac's own fingers as he moved the plastic left and then right.

Silence.

"I have to admit." Mac whispered taking hold of Nick's pinky leaving the toothpick still embedded in his fingernail, "You have a high tolerance for pain, or your just stupid…so, I'm gonna ask you again where the boy is then I'm gonna break this little finger of yours."

Nick shook his head and refused to speak and in a manner of a second he heard his own bone snap, the intense pain run through his hand as Mac quickly let go and added more pressure to the toothpick causing Nick to yell out in intense agony and vomit across the table. Mac withdrew the tooth pick and quickly deposited it in his pant pocket before pulling Nick up and slamming him down on the table in his own vomit, "How does it feel to be a helpless man?" Mac growled pulling him up off of the table and slamming him into the wall, "You came into their home." Mac growled advancing toward him, "And you beat Casey Novak." He said grabbing him by the arm and tossing him about the room surprised that Cragen hadn't called him off yet. The deal was, Cragen called it, no one else.

Nick stumbled back on his already broken wrist and currently broken and bleeding fingers, he yelled and muttered obscenities as Mac yanked him back up and pressed his forearm to his neck holding him against the wall, "You beat her husband and took that little boy." Mac growled watching Nick turn blue in front of him. He released and watched Nick collapse in a heap to his knees and vomit.

"Get a uniform to take him to the head," Cragen's voice bellowed from the intercom, "I don't want his attorney seeing him like that."

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Nick smiled inwardly knowing his plan was working, pain…intense pain would induce vomiting, which would give him the opportunity to truly make Olivia Benson suffer for the rest of her miserable life.

"Let's go." A uniformed sergeant led Nick to the head. Nick faltered as they walked down the hall, "Whoa, buddy." The officer steadied him.

Nick groaned, "I'm gonna puke." He muttered, "Please." He motioned for the cuffs. "Come on man, I'm in the middle of a police precinct, I'm bait if I make a move…just, please I'm gonna puke my brains out if I don't get some air going."

The Sergeant took a look around, decided there was enough cops present, "turn around."

"Oh, thank you, you're a good man." Nick exhaled and faltered back once the cuffs were taken off. The officer caught him immediately.

"Whoa, Mister, you okay?"

"Air." Nick groaned, "Please, I'm in so much pain." He said turning to face the officer and falling into him.

The sergeant lifted his arms to catch Ganzner, leaving his gun exposed.

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"Let's get one thing straight." Cragen pointed at Mac, "You might be a good cop, you might have been a great Marine, but the only reason I'm letting what you did in their slide, is because of these two." He said pointing to Olivia and Elliot and calming his voice, "They deserve to have their son back, but you better understand that I had better not ever see that again."

Mac smiled, "Yeah…but you liked it didn't you?"

Cragen smirked, "It was interesting to see you work."

Olivia exhaled, "Do you think he's gonna cave?"

Cragen was just about to answer when he was stopped by the explosion of noise from the hall.

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In a split second Nick Ganzner had managed to pull the Sergeants gun from his holster and hold it to his own head, a wicked smile on his face.

"PUT IT DOWN!" A flurry of voices called through the hall as Elliot and Olivia made their way to the hall with Cragen in tow.

Nick backed himself to the wall, "It's about time Ice Princess." He grinned with sweat beading down his face, "This is your fault, what happens here is because you wouldn't back off."

"Liv," Elliot called to her, "Get out of here!"

"She stays!" Nick barked, "Or I shoot myself and you never know if you're son is alive or dead!"

"Nick. Enough!" Elliot snapped, "This stops!"

"It stops when I die!" Nick smiled "And even then, it's just beginning…she stays."

"I'll stay." Olivia whispered with her hands in the air, "I don't' have a gun." She told him, "I'm just me…Olivia.'

"The Ice Princess!"

"Yeah." She shook her head quickly, "the Ice Princess."

"What do you want to know Ice Princess?"

Olivia swallowed watching as the officers in the precinct moved to ensure her safety, as Cragen barked orders, as Elliot kept his gun trained on Ganzner, "Nick, come on." Olivia spoke softly, "Let's go back into the room, just you and me."

"NO!" he barked, "We stay here!"

"Why here?" She asked softly.

Nick smiled, "This is where I asked you out the first time."

She nodded, "That was a very special time."

"Oh, shut up!" he growled.

Olivia nodded softly, "What do you want, what can I do for you?"

"Ask me what you want to know." He whispered as tears began to fall.

Olivia kept her hands raised, "Okay, where's my son Nick?"

Ganzner smiled, "Let's save that one for last."

Olivia exhaled in frustration, "Okay…did you break into my home and attack the Novaks?"

He grinned, "That was my work."

"So, you have my son?"

"I SAID SAVE IT!" He barked turning red as the tears flowed faster, and the sweat seeped through his shirt.

"Alright," Olivia exhaled pressing through the pain in her belly, "were you bothering Sam? Did you come into his room?"

"I watched him sleep." Nick smiled, "Just like I watched you sleep when your husband wasn't there, just like I watched you have sex with him. Your body, with all of its scars, your body in all its glory, I watched you give it to him…and it should have been mine!" He shouted.

"Your right." She swallowed seeing him getting antsier. She looked to see the source of his agitation, a cop reaching for his taser gun. "Don't" She shook her head and pointed to the cop, "Just let him be." The cop obliged and reholstered the taser gun.

"You were suppose to be mine." He whispered biting his lip.

"Your right, Nick…I realize that now, I realize I made a huge mistake."

"It's too late." He whispered, "You're contaminated by him."

"But you can make me pure again, I know you can." She offered.

"No." he shook his head, "Your too dirty…I saw what you did with him…he was inside of you."

"Did you bother Sam at the hospital?"

"He's a wuss."

"He's a child." She whispered.

"As long as you raise him…he'll be worthless." He told her taking in a ragged breath.

"Nicky," she exhaled and lowered her hands.

"Keep them up!" he yelled.

She responded immediately, "Okay…did you try to take Sam from the school?"

"He moaned when I slapped him," Nick smiled, "He moaned just like you yelp when your husband gets you off."

She ignored the desire to kill him. Ignored the pain in her stomach. Ignored the embarrassment of having intimate details broadcast to the entire precinct, "Nicky…friend to friend…where's my son?"

Nick lowered the gun and stared at her with tears falling down his face, "Ask me again."

"Where's my son." She whispered feeling her own tears fall.

"Tell me you love me."

Olivia closed her eyes in shame, "I…love you."

"Ask me for Isaac; ask me for your son."

Olivia let out a sob but caught it quickly, "Where is my son?"

Nick smiled and exhaled raising the gun slowly to his head, "I said I knew where he was, I never said he was alive."

"Nicky-" Before she could appeal to him he turned the gun from his temple and pointed it into the group of surrounding officers effectively forcing the officers to shoot.

The world stopped and moved frame by frame as Nick Ganzner's body convulsed when the bullets ripped through his flesh. His body slamming into the wall as he gasped for air a trail of blood evident as he slipped lifeless down the wall.

Olivia watched in horror as Cragen kneeled beside Nick and felt for a pulse, he turned to Elliot and shook his head indicating there was no pulse. She watched as Nick's blood pooled beneath him, evidence that all the secrets he held about Isaac, were gone.

A/N: Believe me when I tell you, there is so much more. Oh, if you guys want to read another good story, read Songs in the Key of E and O Minor by Tomerboy. It's Good stuff.


	22. Chapter 22 Painful Surrender

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 22 Painful Surrender

Not that Elliot has ever actually looked up the word 'cruel' in a dictionary, but he is almost certain that if he did it would be simply defined as 'The Life of Olivia Stabler'. Watching his wife nearly collapse in a pool of Nick Ganzner's blood gave him no choice but to rush her back to the hospital in hopes that the pain she was experiencing would subside, in hopes that she would become relaxed in the midst of anguish.

"Can't say I'm surprised to see you're wife on my roster." The doctor approached Elliot, "You two must really like to tempt fate."

"How is she?"

"Well, you get to be the one to tell her that she's off work completely until the babies are born…other th-"

"We came as a precaution, she didn't pass out, but, she said she was having pain." Elliot whispered, starring straight ahead with his hands tented around his nose. His own emotions were flying here and there. No matter how evil Nick Ganzner was, Elliot had seen enough death in his life and the last thing he wanted to see was a bunch of cops shoot someone. The last thing he wanted to see was the pool of blood seep in around Olivia's boots. That was what had almost done her in. Nick's blood pooling at her feet.

"Smartest move you two have made." The doctor exhaled and sat next to Elliot, "She's asking for you."

"How are the babies? Can I see her?"

"Babies are good." The doctor smiled, "Yes you can see her, but because you two have chosen to ignore my advice-"

"We didn't ignore you!" Elliot suddenly snapped and stood to his feet, tired of being the butt of this man's patronizing speeches. Elliot paced and suddenly let loose, " She was in bed by nine! No fast food!...She was raped by her own brother! Stalked by her father! Beaten by her mother!" the chords in his neck flexed in his anger as the pain of his wife's life suddenly manifested through him as if marriage had somehow caused a type of osmosis between the two.

Elliot continued his bellowing rant as the doctor stared wide eyed at the man in front of him. "Did you know that?" Elliot barked motioning with his hands, "No! No you didn't, because you come in here with you're damn Harvard degree and you see her as some careless parent that puts their career first!"

"Sir-"

"Shut up!" Elliot pointed at him, "You shut you're damn mouth you pompous piece of shit! You want to know why she was so determined to keep working?" Elliot leaned down quickly and pulled the doctor up by his white coat, "Our son was taken from us!" Elliot barked pulling the doctor close, "My son was taken while I was off on some stupid vacation!" he yelled as the doctor's hands griped his forearm silently pleading for his release.

Elliot was so completely consumed with his sudden rage that he didn't even realize he was crying as he continued his verbal assault, yanking the doctor so forcefully he seemed to come up off of his feet, "I'm a bad father!" Elliot confessed, "And I'm a bad husband!" he shouted " and I want my son back…but I'm not the enemy!" He growled, "Do you hear me? I'm not the damn enemy here!"

The doctor grabbed at Elliot's shirt, "Calm down, let me down." He spoke softly, "You're wife wants to see you, she's asking for you." He told him again in hopes he would be freed form this man's rage so fuel by pain and hurt the doctor had to wonder how he was keeping things together in the first place, "She's asking for you."

Elliot slowly released the doctor and sobbed into his hands, "I'll never see my son."

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"Hey Glickman!" The middle aged inmate yelled out to the guard as he walked by the cell.

"What?" Glickman stopped and observed the two inmates in the cell. The older one approached the bars and stuck his hands through the slats.

"Looks like I'm going home." He smiled through the bars. "The DA accepted my deal."

Glickman eyed the inmate in anger, "I'm not sure what information you had to get a deal, but I hope you die a painful death on the outside."

The inmate smirked, "I only have one goal when I get to the outside."

Glickman nodded imperceptibly and walked away in disgust.

"What's you're goal?" The younger of the two inmates stood beside him.

"Five-foot-nine, a hundred and thirty pounds, big doe eyes, beautiful feisty woman." The older man smiled sadistically.

"Oh, you got an old lady to go home to?"

"No, no." The older inmate smiled sadistically, "I've got a score to settle with a lady detective, a sort of checkmate if you will."

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Olivia found herself exhausted as she clasped her bra behind her and slipped her blouse over her shoulders, her tears of frustration blinding her as she shakily buttoned the fabric. Her head shot up as the door opened. Instinctively, she covered herself then relaxed as Elliot came through the door.

Neither said a word as they stared at one another. He saw the pain inscribed on her face, the same pain he'd seen when they were told Isaac was dead. He wanted to move to her yet his feet were weighted down with indescribable pain, knowing that their only lead to their son's whereabouts was literally dead, "The doctor is taking you completely off work until the babies are born." He whispered. She nodded and didn't even try to respond. No more fighter, the white flag was slowly being raised.

She saw the incredible hurt that shone through his eyes, the stress in his face, the defeat of those once proud shoulders, he was in pain and she couldn't help but think that maybe, if he had never married her, he would be happy. Maybe he would have met some woman, maybe a nurse, married her and had four point five kids and a white picket fence in queens, instead of a missing toddler, twins that she wasn't entirely sure they were actually going to be able to see do to her health, and one big constant mess.

"Elliot." She cried softly and extended her hand.

As if someone suddenly released him from shackles he practically fell against her, taking her into his arms and holding her tight, crying softly into her neck, her shirt balled ruthlessly in his fist as her hands brought him even closer to her as they both cried out their frustration and hurt, knowing that they may never see Isaac again. "I can't do it anymore." Elliot whispered, "It hurts too much."

She pulled back softy and framed his face, wiped his tears, "I know it hurts, it hurts so much." She rested her forehead against his and took in a ragged breath, "I'm so tired, I don't have anything left to fight with."

Elliot held her even tighter, "Neither do I."

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"All I'm saying is a woman of you're caliber shouldn't always be around these stiffs." Donavan grinned as Warner rolled her eyes.

"And what exactly do you think a woman of my caliber should be doing? Playing video games with you?" she smirked and began stitching the 'Y' incision on the cadaver in front of her.

"Hey, don't knock it sweetie, True Crime is a very complicated game to master, you've got to have great hands and a quick mind." He smiled cockily.

"So, basically," Warner chuckled threading the stitches in and out, "you're telling me that you suck at it, because I can assure you that you have neither great hands nor a quick mind."

Donavan fought his smile as his mouth went slack with shock, "You've got to be the rudest woman I've ever seen." He chuckled.

"You call me sweetie one more time and your anus may agree with you."

"You are such a man." Donavan teased, "You love bruising my ego."

Warner smiled looking up, "It brings me no greater joy…now, why don't you make like a good little assistant and bring in the fresh meat they brought us, while I tag this guy out?"

"The fresh meat? That the guy from the precinct shooting?" Donovan asked.

"Yeah…hey, did you hear anything on it?"

"No." he shook his head, "Just said suicide by cop, didn't tell us what precinct or what exactly happened, I'm sure it'll be plastered all over the news though."

"Got to love the media." Warner muttered, "Who was the perp?"

"Beats me, but I'll tell ya what," He grinned, "I'll go get the stiff, if you keep standing here looking beautiful."

Warner shook her head at the young man's brazen comment, "I'll tell you what, you go get the stiff, while I stand here and debate rather or not I should fire you."

"Ouch," he smiled, "Ladies and gentleman, she's pulling out the big guns."

"Why don't you move like you have some urgency in life?" Warner rolled her eyes and placed the file on top of her corpse and tagged it appropriately.

"Wouldn't want you to feel empty without me around." He grinned sarcastically.

"That's a shame, because I feel sick when your around."

"Hey!" he feigned insult, "That hurt."

"That was the goal…now can I please get a corpse?" She asked in fake irritation.

"Bossy." He shook his head and turned to retrieve the next client from the stainless steal locker, "Whoa." Donovan chuckled peeking under the sheet, "This guy is a human sprinkler system."

"Donovan!" Warner scolded him, "Just wheel him over here for crying out loud."

He pushed the gurney and covered corpse over to her, "I still don't see how your husband can handle you, is he emasculated?"

"Don't be ridiculous, my husband is a Greek god."

"Really?" Donovan grinned preparing the paperwork, "How'd he get stuck with you?"

"Beats me." She muttered filling out her own paperwork and getting a recorder ready.

"Whoa, wait a second." Donovan smiled softly, "I was proud of that remark. I thought for sure it would garner at least an F U."

She tilted her head up to him in all seriousness, "Why do you care so much about my husband?"

"Because I'm a nosey individual, and…I don't care about him per se, I just am curious as to what kind of person was lucky enough to get you is all." He told her in complete seriousness having never seen the intense look of an emotion he couldn't gauge in her face.

"He reigns me in." she told him matter of factly as she prepared her tools of her trade, "He doesn't let me get away with anything…I need that."

"Bull!" Donovan leaned in slightly, "This has nothing to do with him being hung like a horse?"

Warner laughed hysterically, "Wow…you're tacky."

"Thank you." He grinned, "Answer the question."

"Has nothing to do with sex, although he's amazing. It has everything to do with the fact that he understands my personality, he gets that I need to be one way here at work and one way at home…or I'll never make it." She told him looking away and gathering her thoughts before returning to him, "I've had forty nine children on this table." She spoke low, "Forty nine, lives that were never appreciated." She exhaled and looked at the sheet covered corpse in front of her.

"I have no choice but to come here and be hard nosed and cold…but at home, I do prefer for him to take the lead, to relieve me of the filth I deal with here." She ended in a whisper.

"You're telling me that in spite of how strong I see you here…you would prefer to be submissive at home?"

"I'm telling you that because I have to be hard-as-nails here…I need to have someone come alongside me when I come home…someone who truly knows me." She paused in thought and continued, "You know," She said, pulling out gloves from the box and handing a pair to Donovan, "you and I stand here and we crack jokes in the presence of the dead, for our own sanity…why is that?"

Donovan furrowed his brow in thought then answered, "So I don't feel dead when I get home."

"Exactly." She shook her head, "I almost left Cleo." She exhaled.

"Excuse me?"

"Cleo…that's my husband's name, I don't think I've told you that before."

Donovan folded his arms and listened, "No, no you didn't…what happened?"

Melinda started to put her mask on, not necessarily for the benefit of being safe, but she didn't want Donovan to see her chin quiver with emotion, "I was just assigned here, maybe for about three months, and I pulled open that locker right there." She said pointing to the third locker of the first row, "And I looked down at this beautiful little face, these huge grey eyes starred vacant up at the ceiling, he was three."

"No one can handle the children." Donovan murmured slipping into his surgical gown.

"His father had raped him so forcefully that his colon ruptured…his father refused to let the mother take him to the doctor…the infection spread and it took about three days for the little boy to die." She explained making the final preparations for the impending autopsy. "If you thought I was a cold hearted woman right now…you would have died seeing me five years ago…something in me switched and I wasn't the same person anymore."

"It's understandable." Donovan whispered, "This job changes us."

"It hasn't changed you." She smiled softly as he tied his mask behind him.

"It has." He whispered and rested his hand on the corners of the sheet "Ready?"

"Let's get it done." She smiled.

Donovan pulled the sheet back, "That's one ugly stiff."

Melinda's eyes widened, "Holy Shit!"

"Well," Donovan shrugged, "He is pretty holy after the cops shot him to death, now the fecal part…well, we won't know until we cut him open."

Melinda pointed at the cadaver, "Donovan Carmichael, meet Nick Ganzner…Olivia Stabler's ex-boyfriend."

Donovan looked at Nick's pale face, "Holy shit balls."

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Elliot woke with a slight start, not from a nightmare or a loud noise, but from the calm on the other side of the bed. He rolled expecting to find his wife and only found the coolness of linen. "Liv?" he called into the atmosphere and looked in the direction of the bathroom to find the door open and light off, knowing Sam had actually agreed to spend the night at Alex and Paul's house, Elliot knew Olivia wouldn't have been up to comfort him.

He slipped out of the bed and padded lightly down the hall taking note that the house was still pitch black but the nursery door was cracked open, "Liv?" he whispered opening the door slowly and seeing her shadowed figure in the dark. He turned the light on and saw her turn quickly, pawing at her tears as she stood next to the crib.

"Please," she choked out, "turn the light off?"

Elliot nodded his head in understanding, "Okay." He agreed, flipping the light and casting darkness in the room again. He made his way to her and snaked his hands around her waist, "Couldn't sleep?"

"No." She sniffled and leaned her back against him, "No, I couldn't. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Don't be…do you want to talk about it?"

She didn't hesitate, "It's not fair, you know? What's happened to us…it's not fair, we're good people." She spoke quickly, "I just…if he really had to die…we should have been the ones to kill him, and I know that sounds really bad, but he deserved to die, and maybe that makes me a bad person-"

"It doesn't." he assured her softly, "You're not a bad person."

"He played me." She exhaled, "he played me perfectly."

"What? I don't understand?"

Olivia turned in his embrace, "He made sure that the last thing I told him was that I loved him and then he had me beg to know where Isaac was…I don't love Nick, El. I never did." She whispered touching his face with her fingertips, "You know that don't you? You know I never loved him…that it's always been you?"

He smiled softly, "I know that, and I also know that the things he made you say, meant nothing, I don't hold them against you…I don't see you any differently."

She exhaled almost as if she were expecting him to be upset with her, "El?"

"Yeah?"

She cleared her throat in nervousness as she tucked hair behind her ear, "Doesn't it…didn't it bother you…that he watched us?"

"That he watched us make love?"

"Yeah."

"It infuriated me…I would never want you on display for anyone else, Liv." He assured her, "You're my wife, my gorgeous wife, and the very thought of another man laying eyes on you…makes me sick."

She nodded softly, "I think…I think I needed to hear that. It um…it really bothered me that he watched us, it bothered me that he watched Sam and I sleep." She confessed turning and resting her hands on the rail of the crib, "Did Sam feed the fish this morning?"

Elliot recognized her need for a subject change and happily went with it, "Yep, he loves feeding that thing. He says th-"

"I've been thinking, El." She whispered starring into the empty crib.

"Should I be afraid?" he chuckled then stopped immediately when she didn't move.

"I've been thinking that…we've got two babies coming now," she swallowed knowing she was gonna start one of the biggest fights between them, "and, we have Sam to think about, and-"

"Liv?" Elliot furrowed his brow not exactly sure he liked where she was going with this.

"I think," she exhaled, "We need to get this nursery ready for the babies."

"Oh," he smiled in relief, "Yeah, I guess we do need to add a crib and-"

"No." She shook her head gripping the crib railing tighter, "I mean, completely redo it, everything new cribs, paint, clothes…Isaac's never coming home."

Elliot had to reach for the crib to keep from falling, "How…how can you say that?"

She stared at the crib, "It's the truth," she whispered, "We just haven't seen it."

"Liv-"

"I almost killed our babies." She told him, a sad smile on her lips as she looked up at him, "I almost sacrificed two, for the one."

"Olivia," he shook his head, "If this is because of what I said at the hospital last week-"

"You were right." She chuckled bitterly, "I was careless."

"Liv, this isn't a question of being right or wrong…we can't give up on Isaac."

"Elliot," She shook her head holding back her tears, "Can't you see, he's not coming home? Our only lead is gone, and I have nothing, I mean _nothing_ left in me to keep going…I'm done, I can't keep going like this." She confessed caressing her abdomen, "These two deserve a shot and right now, I'm risking their lives with this obsession of finding Isaac."

"He's our son." Elliot whispered.

"Don't you think I know that!" She suddenly snapped, "Don't you think I want him back! You don't think I want to hold him? Hear what his laugh sounds like? You don't think I want to be the one to tuck him in! I do! And it's not happening!" She shouted angrily, "You're right El, I messed up, I put our babies at risk, I almost got killed because I want him back!"

"Olivia…we can't give up."

"I HAVE TO!" She screamed at him in agony, and pushed him back in frustration, "Don't you see my position!" She yelled, "If I don't give up…we loose two more." She whispered in exhaustion as she rubbed her belly, "I can't loose another baby," she shook her head softly, "I'll die…I won't make it, El."

He turned his body in a complete circle as he ran his hand over his hair in frustration and anger, "So it's just like that? You're giving up?"

She looked at him and closed her eyes, blinking out tears, "That's what I'm saying."

He nodded his head not sure what to do and suddenly, he fought anger with anger, "You're not the only one hurting!" he shouted slamming his fist against the crib, "This isn't just about you!"

She pulled back at the outburst, "I never said it was." She whispered.

"Yes you did!" he barked struggling with his tears, "Yes you did…the second you walked out on me-"

"That's a completely different subject…and for the record, you were turning into a drunk!" She yelled in her defense, "Do you have any idea what that was like for me?"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to watch your wife run out the door!" he yelled.

"Yeah, I do!" She barked back, "Because, the second you picked up that bottle, you walked out on me!"

"That's crap! Married people don't walk out on one another Olivia!" He shouted.

"So then all this talk about being sorry, and forgiving one another, what? Was that a crock of crap?" She asked in frustration, "I thought we were past this Elliot."

"We are!" He yelled.

"Then why are you so angry with me!" She shouted in distress, feeling the blood rush to her face.

"Because I'm not your damn enemy!" He yelled and suddenly turned; launching his fist through the sheet rock of the room. He tried to pull his hand out, then stopped, when it was too painful. He rested his forehead against the wall in defeat, "I'm not you're enemy, Liv." He sobbed and started to cry, "I'm not the enemy."

"Elliot." She whispered compassionately, "Honey, I've never thought you were the enemy." She assured him resting her hands on his shoulders only to feel him shrug off her touch.

"Don't." he shook his head against the wall.

She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head between his shoulder blades.

"I said don't." he tried to struggle against her but she held on as tight as possible.

"You're hand is stuck in the wall." She whispered "Where ya gonna go?" she teased softly through her own tears and waited until his body calmed.

After several minutes he exhaled, "Liv." Her name disguised as a silent plea for help, for touch, for some sort of affirmation that he was a man, the head of his home, the leader and provider even when all seemed to be lost. Affirmation that he was still the love of her life.

She kissed his shoulder through his shirt knowing what he needed to ask but couldn't. Gently, she moved her hand along his arm and to his hand entrapped in the wall, she pulled quietly at the crumbling structure and made enough room for him to pull his hand out. It was already swollen as she raised it to her lips and kissed his knuckles softly, "I'm sorry, Elliot. I'm sorry, I've made the decisions I have."

He exhaled, kept his forehead against the wall and wept bitterly as he lowered himself to the ground in a miserable heap of flesh. She kneeled beside him as he hid his face from her, "Look at me." She whispered trying to tilt his head to which he pulled away.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid." He whispered in shame.

"Am I really that horrible that you can't look at me?" she whispered, tilting his face to her so he could see the faint smile on her lips, "Please don't be afraid to look at me…what are you afraid of Elliot?" she asked kneeling closer to him and framing his face with her hands, "Tell me, please?"

He swallowed and met her eyes with his, "I'm afraid…you'll see…that I agree with you."

She closed her eyes at the confession, leaned her forehead against his and cried with him. Cried, knowing that they would never truly know if their son was alive, cried that they would never hold him again and cried knowing that Nick Ganzner had indeed won by systematically bringing down two of the strongest people one could know.

"El?" she whispered through her tears, "I just…I just want what's best for these babies." She told him placing his hand on her abdomen, "and if, after they're born, you want to keep looking for Isaac…I can do that."

Elliot shook his head, "He's not coming home." He whispered.

She sniffled and let out a sob against his neck, "I know…I know."

He pulled her onto his lap as they mourned their son as if he had died in that instant, and perhaps he did, perhaps he did die in that instant, perhaps letting go of the hope that he was alive meant that Isaac was again dead. Perhaps.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, Melinda?" Donovan smiled in exhaustion, "See that big round thing?" he asked pointing to the clock in the examiners office.

"Yeah, so?" she asked pulling another bullet from Nick Ganzner's body.

"So," he grinned holding up a pale for her to drop the bullet in, "see how the little hand is on the two, and that big hand is on the seven?"

"Get to the point you irritating sac of crap."

"My point is…it's bloody the middle of the night and we're still here!" He exclaimed.

She sagged her shoulders and looked up at him, her instruments resting somewhere between a lung and rib, "That's what I like about you Donovan…you're just so damn observant." She smirked, "Look, I know it's late, but this is huge, I want to get this done tonight. I want it done right, and I want to get my report done."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" She asked incredulously.

"I mean, why?" he shrugged, "You could wait…it's not like he's gonna suddenly jump off the table and say, 'oh, sorry, I really don't have time to be autopsied'."

"When Cragen stopped by, after we first cracked open the chest…this…this stiff, is the guy who took Isaac and has been after the Stablers." She finally informed him, "We can't wait."

"Because?" he asked leading her into a confession.

"Because," she snapped, "No victim deserves to wait!"

"Yet, we often leave families waiting, why not now? Why not the Stablers?" he asked, deliberately pushing her buttons.

"Because," She exhaled suddenly pulling down her mask, "I already screwed up! And I almost lost a great friend….there's no way in hell I'll do it again, so you can either stay and help me atone for my sins or you can get the hell out of here."

Donovan smiled and shrugged, "Just wanted you to admit you screwed up."

She looked at him and nodded her head before exhaling, "She never smiled when I first met her, her eyes were so dead…did I tell you that?"

"Not really."

"Olivia…she never smiled, I started to suspect her and Elliot had something when her eyes started to come alive, and then she had Isaac and I swear you could drive a mac truck through that grin…cheesiest thing I'd ever seen. It suited her. And when she lost him…she never smiled again. But, when she found out we betrayed her…the light extinguished in her eyes, there was this hurt on her face, this tremendous pain and I knew that…I was to blame for it."

"So this is about redemption?"

She exhaled, "Something like that." She muttered working to remove another bullet, "Oh and Donovan?" she asked taking hold of a bullet and pulling it out gently.

"Yeah?" he responded moving the pale to her.

"If you ever, push that button again…you'll be getting married with a colostomy bag."

"Noted."

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"Hospital?" Olivia asked, softly caressing his swollen hand in the warmth of hers.

"No." He shook his head, "I'm not going back to that doctor unless my head has been lopped off and even then, we'll look for someone else." He chuckled lightly and lean against the bathroom sink, "Can you wrap it for me? To keep the swelling down."

She smiled sadly and leaned her forehead against his, "I'm so sorry I upset you Elliot…I didn't know you felt that way. I didn't know I was giving you that impression."

He exhaled, cupping the back of her head with his good hand and kissing the corner of her mouth tenderly, "We're both stressed out and angry and hurting. I'm sorry if I scared you…I love you so much and I'm sorry I took some low shots that weren't right."

"Maybe it's a good thing, you know…we got it out there in the open, where we can deal with it; and maybe…I think that in some ways you're right about me walking out. I said I would never leave you, and I know that physically I wasn't staying in our home, but…can you see where I was coming from? Can you see that…with alcohol, there's no choice for me?"

He tucked her hair behind her ears, "I understand where your coming from and I'm sorry I put you through that-"

"Shh," She cut him off touching her finger to his lips, "I think that I'm the one needing to apologize." She whispered, "I haven't…I haven't let you know that I do love you, that I know you're hurting, and you're right, I have made a lot of this mess about me, I've been selfish to you and I'm so sorry I've been too blind to see it…can you…do you think, you can forgive me for making you out to be the bad guy?"

He smiled softly, "I know it wasn't intentional, you're a good woman, a good wife and mother, I just…I just have been feeling like, you're against me, and I needed you to see that we're on the same side."

She nodded her head in understanding, shifting her rest from his forehead to his temple, "I'm sorry…please, forgive me?"

"Only if you wrap my hand," he chuckled softly, "it's starting to throb." He heard her sniffle next to his ear, her arms tight around his shoulders.

"Please…I need to hear you say it." She sobbed softly, ignoring his attempt to lighten the situation.

He pulled her back gently, cupped her face softly with his healthy hand and smiled carefully, "I forgive you, Olivia. I absolutely do." He whispered bringing her in for a kiss that they both seemed to be desperate for in that moment. He offered her release with a compassionate smile, "Promise me something though?"

"Anything." She breathed across his lips, "Anything."

"When it gets rough, when it hurts too much and you think you're alone…come to me, know that I'm right behind you and were on the same team? Don't…make me into a villain, please?"

She broke at his request and fell into his embrace, "I promise…I'm so sorry."

He placed a lingering kiss on the crown of her head and stroked her hair softly, "I know you are, I know, but…Liv?"

"Yeah?" She whispered pulling back to compose herself as she wiped the moisture from her face, "What is it? Tell me. I'll do anything." She sniffled.

He smiled sheepishly and raised his tender hand, "Please, my hand is killing me."

Both laughed at the request, at the release forgiveness brings, at each other, "Tell me how." She whispered and kissed the corner of his mouth before scavenging in the medicine cabinet for an ace bandage.

"Just like your hand wraps for sparring, just…tighter." He explained.

She started at the web of his thumb and index finger careful to apply only necessary pressure. He wrapped his hand around her waist, rested it at the small of her back and kissed her forehead, "You really are a special woman…thank you." He whispered.

She pinned the bandage with the silver fasteners and smiled softly, "You're a special man, I'm blessed to have you."

"Yeah, you are." He teased and kissed her cheek softly whispering in her ear, "We're gonna make it, Liv…I promise."

She smiled softly, returned his kiss tenderly, "Go…Get some sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

"No more apologizing, come on…lay with me."

"I will." She promised, "Let me take care of some stuff and I'll be in."

Several minutes later as Elliot drifted in between sleep and reality; he stirred at the movement in the bed as Olivia slipped in next to him, careful of his hand that he let rest on his pillow next to his face, "Hi." He whispered raising his arm to accept her.

She nuzzled in close, placed his wrapped hand just over her heart and rested a small ice pack on top of his hand, "Hi." She replied softly, "Thought you might want some ice."

"Thank you." He murmured softly.

"No." she smiled faintly, running her fingertips along his arm, "Thank you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paul tossed and turned next to his wife, his emotions running rampant between relief that Nick Ganzner was dead and anger that he wasn't the one that pulled the trigger…or at least put a stop to it when he had the chance. He exhaled; giving into the fact that he wasn't going to be falling asleep anytime in the near future. Slipping out of the bed he carefully made his way down the hall to Addison's nursery and leaned over the crib to find his son wide awake, kicking his feet as he stared up at the mobile that remained still.

"Your getting big, Addison." He whispered picking him up and holding him close to his chest and patting his diaper, a small laugh emanating, "I see you left your ole man a little gift, huh? Is that why you were awake?" Paul spoke softly laying his son down on the changing table to clean him up and place another pamper on his growing body. "You're a knock out." Paul smiled picking his son back up and nuzzling his nose to his, "Just like your, Mom."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Casey narrowed her eyes at the screaming red numbers of the alarm clock and furrowed her brows at the absence of her husband in the middle of the night. The day had been harsh to her and Paul, seeing the man who had nearly killed them both, take his life in such a cowardly way, and although she knew she and Paul were hurting right now, she could only imagine how much worse it must be for Olivia and Elliot tonight.

She slipped out of bed and more or less stumbled to the door of the room, exhaustion still suffocating her equilibrium until she smiled at the site in front of her, Paul's boxer clad body sitting on the couch with their son's pampered body and naked back leaned up against his broad chest. The television was muted as Huey, Luey and Duey got themselves into some more trouble.

"This is the best part, Ady." Paul spoke softly running his hand over the boy's hair and kissing him gently as the little boy's eyes stared wide at the television, "Uncle Scrooge is gonna loose his mind, because the nephews got into trouble again." He explained.

Casey smiled watching the muted television as everything he predicted came to past, she smiled watching him explain the cartoon to her son as if there were sound. His animation, his voice, everything dedicated to the sole entertainment of his son, and perhaps dedicated to distracting his mind form the pain he refused to talk about when they had finally gotten home today. She continued to watch in silence, his hold on Addison, was neither careless nor suffocating but it was a delicate desperateness that broke her heart. "Mind if I join you?" she spoke softly when the cartoon cut to a commercial.

"I don't mind." He whispered and looked at Addison, "You mind if you're mom joins us?" he paused as if truly waiting for an answer before looking at her, "He says he's cool with it."

Casey chuckled and curled up next to him, a kiss placed on his shoulder as she reached out and stroked Addison's hair, "He's getting big."

"Yeah," Paul agreed, "I think, next time we pick up pampers, he's gonna have to go to the next stage."

"Paul?" Casey rested her chin on his shoulder and looked up at his profile as he watched Addison, "You okay?"

His eyes lowered before he tilted to lean his head against hers, "Not really, no." he whispered.

"What can I do for you?" She asked resting her hand on his cheek and guiding him to look at her, "Do you want to talk about it or do you want me just to sit with you? Do you need to be alone?"

Paul exhaled as he rubbed his sons back softly watching tiny eyelids fight sleep, "Nick should have rotted in prison…you know that? He should have died in prison for what he did to us and the Stablers."

"Well," Casey exhaled, "He's rotting in hell right now…is that a little comforting?"

Paul smiled softly and let out a short chuckle, "Weeping and gnashing of teeth?"

"Perpetual burning of flesh." Casey smiled sadly, "What are you feeling, Paul? I know it sounds like a stupid question, but…what's going on in here?" she asked touching his temple softly, "Can you tell me?"

"He had all the power." Paul whispered shifting his son to lie in the crevasse of his thighs as he finally gave into the sleep that called him, "He…he acted like some sort of god, giving us hope and then…taking it away. It was calculated." He shook his head at the memory, "I just…it should have been…I've wanted to kill him every since I woke up in the hospital." He continued to shake his head as his words rushed out, "I dreamed about it, I looked through some of your law books to find out how to get away with it if I ever found out who it was."

"Maybe…maybe it's a good thing he killed himself then, huh? Because, I know I couldn't live without you if you were locked up in some prison…I couldn't make it without you."

"Casey?"

"Yeah, Honey?"

"Can you tell me…can you remind me, that…um…that-"

She tilted his face towards her, nuzzled his nose softly with her own and grazed his upper lip with hers in the barest of kisses, "It's not your fault, never was, never will be…I promise."

He chuckled softly and kissed her cheek, "You're an attorney…your promises aren't exactly iron clad." He teased.

She smiled knowing that, while he may have been having a hard time digesting the events of the day, he was still fighting to stay in the game. She caressed his face, kissed his mouth and locked eyes with him in all seriousness, "I'm you're wife first, and _her_ promises…are iron clad."

He grinned and wrapped his arm around her, her head resting on his shoulder, "Thanks Casey."

She patted his abdomen lightly as she stared at the television, "What's going on?"

"Best part of the show." He told her rubbing his hand along her back, "The druid is telling Uncle Scrooge that if he builds on his land, he'll curse him for the rest of his life."

Casey smiled that the simplicity of a childhood cartoon and the company of his son and wife could ultimately be the soothing balm to his pain. She covered his hand with her own, a gentle squeeze as she watched the cartoon with him, "I love you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't care who you are, get me the information on Nick Ganzner!" Cragen barked into the phone as he paced his office, "I don't care if it's the middle of the night, get off your fat ass, get to a computer and do your damn job!" he scrubbed his hand over his mouth, willing himself to keep his cool, "Look, I want to know everything he's done in the last five years, I want credit card statements, phone records, taxes…whatever it is, I damn well want it all!" he barked, "And I want it twenty-four hours ago!" he yelled and slammed the receiver down on his desk.

"Captain?" Mac stopped at his door looking a tad haggard.

"Mac…I'm surprised you're still here, it's-"

"Four in the morning, I know, I was just um…going over Nick's statement, if you want to call it that, hoping I could find something." Mac smiled softly, "Sounds like you were reaming someone?"

"Yeah, a lazy someone," he shook his head, "Just trying to get information on Ganzer…maybe see if we can't find some other means of getting to Isaac…did you need something?" Cragen asked softly.

Mac slumped into a seat and shook his head, "Maybe, I should have went with him to the head…I didn't…I…why did the officer un cuff him?"

Cragen exhaled, "Don't blame yourself Mac, you've already got enough heartache without bringing this one on as well."

"I just…if I would have know-"

"Hind sight is twenty twenty…you could have never know, no one blames you."

He shook his head and exhaled as he reached for the door, "I'm gonna crash at the crib…if you don't mind."

Cragen tilted his head, "I read your jacket."

Mac stilled suddenly but refused to meet him as Cragen spoke compassionately, "You told her you would meet her at her office in the towers, but you were running late."

"I called her," Mac whispered starring at the door frame, " I told her I was late but I would meet her at her office…she wasn't suppose to be there, she was still on maternity leave but…she wanted to get her office ready for her return, she had Anthony with her."

"What made you late?" Cragen asked softly.

"A robbery interrogation…the guy wouldn't cave. When he finally did, I was so late, but I wanted to see her, I told her I would help her with some pictures of our son, he was…nine weeks old."

"You're a good detective." Cragen assured him, "I know you hurt, I know you want to fix all the wrongs, but…this city is…morally reprehensible, you can't take Elliot and Olivia's pain, you can't make the situation right, by staying here tracking leads, that frankly…I'm not sure exist anymore."

"Then why do you do it, Captain?" Mac asked turning around to face him, "Why are you here in the middle of the night, barking orders through the telephone?"

Cragen exhaled, "Because…I would do anything, for them to be happy, again."

Mac nodded his head, "And I would do anything for them to stop feeling what I feel everyday of my life that I don't have my son or my wife… Anthony and Delilah are dead…let me do my job?"

Cragen nodded imperceptibly, "The sign of a good detective, of a good partner is one who will share a burden, no matter what it is…I think, your gonna fit in just fine."

Mac offered a faint smile, "Thank you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What do you want for breakfast?" Donovan more or less muttered from exhaustion.

Melinda pulled the last stitch of the 'Y' incision taught, "Is that all you think about is food?"

"No." He shrugged, "I also think about Xbox, sex, meeting someone etcetera etcetera."

"Wow…your about as deep as a puddle of piss you know that?" She smiled.

"What?" he shrugged, "I can be deep…just no one to be deep with."

"You wouldn't know deep if you were drowning." She laughed tagging Nick's foot.

"Says you." He muttered.

She furrowed her brow at the slight hint of hurt that danced across his face, "Okay," She laughed, "Give me three things…give me three serious things that keep you up at night."

He exhaled in frustration and pulled his mask off, "I've been up for over thirty hours, I'm gonna clock out." He whispered walking away and pulling the string of his surgical gown behind him.

"Whoa! Wait a second, are you mad?" She asked almost in victory knowing that she had never once in the time they worked together managed to get him angry.

"I'm not mad." He told her balling up the gown and throwing it in the receptacle.

"And I'm not black." She laughed, "What crawled up you're butt?"

"Nothing!" he snapped shaking his head and lowering his voice, "Nothing…I'm tired I'm gonna head out."

"Are you PMS'ing?" She asked, enjoying the fact that she had found a button.

He shook his head and turned to leave, "Come on," She grinned, "Don't be a wuss."

He turned around in frustration, "Fine! You want three things that keep me up at night?"

She grinned undaunted, "That's what I asked for."

"One: I'm never gonna get married because I'm some dork idiot that works in a coroner's office!" he barked in irritation and suddenly Melinda wondered if she should have pushed him so hard.

"Donovan," she whispered soothingly but was caught off.

"Two," he held up his fingers in a peace sign, "Every little face that I've had to put on that table," his voice cracked, "Every little chest I've had to cut open, every baby girl and boy that I've had to desecrate."

"I'm so-"

"Three," he closed his eyes, "Olivia Stabler's face when she pulled up to see her son's grave."

Melinda exhaled, "I'm sorry." She told him leaning against the counter, "I didn't know…you and I…we sit in here and give each other a hard time, but we never really ask how we're doing."

He pressed his lips together, "Well, I'm not doing so well." He confessed.

"Donovan," Melinda smiled softly, "no one can force love. When you meet someone…the right someone, it'll happen, you're a good looking man, you're intelligent and you even have dimples," She chuckled, "No woman turns down dimples."

He blushed softly and turned to leave, "I've got to go." He whispered and opened the door.

"Donovan." She called to him again.

"Yeah?"

"Olivia and Elliot are… interesting people, they come off as hard nosed tough cops but, the last few years have changed them, molded them into people who freely offer forgiveness. Olivia," She exhaled, "she's a whole different breed of people, and while I'm not saying it would be easy for her or you…you should talk to her, you'd be surprised that she doesn't hate you as much as you hate yourself."

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"Hey," Alex nudged Robert as he slept, "Hey, wake up."

"Al," he groaned and opened one eye to look at her, " The sun is barely breaking…I'm sleeping."

"How can you be talking and looking at me if you're sleeping?" she smiled.

"Such a lawyer."

"I thank you." She grinned and kissed him playfully, pushing his shoulders so that he had no choice but to lay on his back.

"Uh oh." He chuckled, "What can I help you with Mrs. Gray?"

She grinned, "I have laid here and watched you sleep for the past hour." She whispered over his lips, "Do you have any idea what that can do to a girl?"

"I have a feeling, you're gonna tell me."

"I'm more of a show and tell girl." She smiled, "You didn't even move a muscle," she whispered and positioned her naked hips over his boxers, "When I got up to take my underwear off."

He groaned softly as she rubbed into him, "I bet I missed a good show." He grinned settling his hands on her waist, "I have to admit I love this type of wake up call."

"Take these off." She smiled snapping the waist band of his boxers.

"I would." He teased her, "Except, there's this gorgeous blond woman on my hips."

"Oh." She nodded softly, "Let me move then." She told him sitting up as she straddled him and moved the blankets away from their form as she crawled up and sat her naked hips on his abdomen.

He stared at her in shock.

She smiled playfully, "Is something the matter?"

He quickly arched his hips, pulled his boxers off and pushed them down with his feet, "No problems here."

"Oh." She smirked bending low and kissing him as she stretched her body over his, "for a second there, I thought you had a stroke or something."

"N-n-no, no stroke." He grinned.

"Well, then," she smiled seductively and trialed her hand down his chest to the juncture of his hips, "maybe I should give you one." She whispered stroking him softly and watching him arch then suddenly roll with her, tucking her under him as she moved her hand over him.

"Mmm." He groaned into her throat, "Is this your way of telling me you're feeling better?"

She laughed rolled back on top of him and rubbed into him feeling him dig into her thighs, "Al." he groaned, "You can't do that without warning me."

"Sure I can." She whispered doing it again before suddenly taking him into her and watching him still and struggle for his own control, "This," she moaned moving her hips over him, "is my way of telling you I'm feeling better."

"Were you sick Alex?"

Both Robert and Alex looked at one another in absolute horror as Sam's voice broke into the atmosphere. Instinctively, Alex lowered herself to Robert's body seeking protection, "Oh no!" she hissed into Roberts ear, "I completely forgot."

"Forgot what, Alex?" Sam asked, "It's wake time isn't it? It's hard for me to tell in your house, 'cause I don't feel the sun, like I do at home, and Tripod doesn't nuzzle me."

"What do we do?" Alex whispered frantically in Robert's ear.

"Sam." Robert's voice came out shakily considering their current situation, "You should knock, before coming inside."

"The door was open." Sam informed him.

Alex slapped her hand over her face and buried her self in Robert's shoulder, "I don't believe this." She whispered.

Robert reached passed his wife and pulled the blanket over her body quickly allowing her to roll off of him, "Sam, how do you feel about ice cream for breakfast?"

Sam grinned, "Mom will kill you…that's a saying."

Robert looked at Alex who was beyond humiliated, "I'll take that chance…go ahead and wait at the table and we'll be in shortly."

"Alex?" Sam tilted his head at her lack of conversation.

"Yeah, Honey?" her voice was much too high to be normal; she cleared it and tried again, "What's up?"

"Are you okay?" he furrowed his brow, "You sounded…not right, when I came to your room."

She rolled her eyes and scrubbed her hands over her face and sheer embarrassment, "I think I'm getting sick." She muttered.

"Oh," Sam nodded his head and she wasn't so sure he bought what she told him, "I'll wait for you…what time is my mom coming to pick me up?"

"In about three hours, why? Are you anxious to get back home to Tripod?" Robert asked.

"No." Sam shook his head, "But one day, my mommy sounded funny like that too, maybe she could tell Alex how to get better fast, mom was better after that day." Sam said matter of factly. Robert watched as Alex pulled the pillow over her face and curled into one large ball of embarrassed female.

"Meet us at the table Sam."

"Kay."

Robert waited until he was out of sight, "Whoa, that was…interesting."

"Humiliating, embarrassing, awkward, uncomfortable…did I miss anything else?" Alex groaned.

"Mortifying?" he laughed softly, "I don't think I have ever seen you blush about sex."

She stared at him wide-eyed, "Easy for you to say. You don't have to explain to your best friend, that you forgot her son was staying the night and he walked into the room while you and your husband were having sex."

He laughed and kissed her softly, "Your right…sucks to be you."

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"Hey," Alex grinned, opening the front door to Olivia, "Where's your other half?"

"Hey." Olivia's voice was bright, but entirely sad as she embraced Alex tightly, "Thank you for watching him, El caught a case and I, apparently…am completely off of work until the babies are born."

"Not a problem…off work huh? That must blow. Sam was a good little boy" Alex assured her, too nervous to let her speak. "He's playing chess with Robert right now, he's learning speed chess pretty well, little sloppy with the pieces, but I think that he'll do pretty well, he took Robert for about six bucks already, he ate some ice cream, I think he's doing pretty well," she spouted off rubbing the back of her neck as continued to spew off more of nothing, "he had a nightmare around midnight, but he went to bed pretty quick, he-"

"Alex!" Olivia touched her forearm and grinned, "What the heck is the matter with you? You're going a million miles an hour."

"What?" Alex shook her head, "Nothing."

"Oh," Olivia grinned, "this is good, you're completely blushing and embarrassed…what happened?" Olivia pressed.

Alex rolled her eyes and exhaled, "We're not use to having kids in the house overnight." She confessed.

"I'm sorry." Olivia turned serious, "I just…Elliot and I needed some time, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to impose, we we're planning to pay you-"

"What!" Alex shook her head, "No! You didn't impose, that's not what I'm trying to explain to you."

Olivia paused, "Okay, we'll I'm obviously stuck…care to enlighten me?"

Alex groaned, "Do you have some type of rule about Sam knocking only if the door is closed?"

"Yeah," Olivia shrugged, "Why- oh!" Olivia's eyes went wide, jaw slack with realization, "He…walked in on you?"

"Olivia, please understand, we sort of forgot he was here, it was five O'clock in the morning." She explained, surprised to see Olivia burst out into laughter holding her belly and leaning up against the refrigerator, "What's so funny?"

"You got caught!" Olivia laughed, "Oh my goodness," She sucked in a breath, "I really needed this laugh." She chuckled again. "Alex…I don't know if you realized but," she leaned closer and whispered through a smile, "Sam can't see you…relax you didn't just secure him a future spot on Huang's couch."

"Yes," Alex smirked in irritation, "I know he's blind which means he's got great hearing and for the record…your son thinks you and I sound similar."

Olivia froze in horror, "Excuse me?"

Alex grinned "Who's laughing now?" she arched her brow and continued to tease knowing full well that Olivia needed a good dose of laughter after yesterday. "Yeah, I tried to tell him I wasn't feeling well, he told me that one day you sounded funny too and I should ask you how to get better…so, Olivia, how do I get better?"

Olivia blushed intensely, and shook her head, "Truce!"

Alex laughed, "I'm sorry, it happened, I really am, we we're irresponsible."

"Alex," Olivia slipped onto the stool, "its okay, he probably doesn't even care and it's partly my fault. I should have warned you that kid is like a stealth bomber, he just sneaks up and BAAM he's there." She giggled, "I'm not upset, I trust you guys, and if that's how you said it happened, then that's how it happened. I know you wouldn't put Sam in a compromising position."

"Well, speaking of bad situations…how are you holding up?"

Olivia exhaled, "Elliot and I had a pretty long conversation last night…we've agreed to stop looking for Isaac, at least until the babies are born and then we'll go from there." She whispered, "I've been hard on Elliot…without realizing it, he sort of, broke, last night, I think, we both did."

_Olivia Stabler admitting defeat? _Alex exhaled, "Come on, let's go get that Little Bomber."

Both women watched from the threshold of the office where Sam and Robert quickly moved pieces on the board and slapped the clock next to it, "Robert keeps the set up exactly the same for Sam, it's the same as the tournaments." Alex whispered, "He's getting faster, he moves over the board a lot more confidently now."

"How does he understand the game?" Olivia asked in wonderment as Sam captured a pawn and giggled at Robert's loss.

"When Robert says the letter and number he's telling Sam what box he put his piece in, Sam makes the adjustment in his head and moves his piece."

"In a split second?" Olivia asked in amazement.

"The kid makes good money at the tournaments." Alex smiled, "he's fast, he's calculated, its fun to watch him play, he wears his glasses and as long as Robert tells him the moves the other guy made…you'd never know anything was different about him." Alex assured her.

"Wow…I had no idea, I thought it was just a fun thing to pass time for him."

"Nope, they were on that board for hours last night…Sam even called Robert on a bad move." Alex laughed softly.

"Hey!" Sam stood and furrowed his brow, "You can't do that!" he protested to Robert.

"Yes, I can." Robert assured him, "It was Knight to G4 perfectly legal move."

Sam carefully felt around the board and huffed, "You cheated, that's the wrong square!"

Olivia and Alex looked on as Robert re-examined the board and realized that Sam was indeed correct, "Sam-"

"Cheating isn't having integrity!" Sam chastised him.

Robert laughed softly, "Sam, I ma-"

"Integrity means doing what's right even when there's no one watching." Sam frowned and flopped back in his seat folding his arms, "You cheated." He muttered, "That's not integrity, Dad would kill you."

"What do you teach that little boy?" Alex smiled as Robert kneeled to clarify that he wasn't cheating, he was simply looking at the board incorrectly.

Olivia grinned watching Sam hug Robert in an apology, "That it doesn't matter where you come from…you can still be good."

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"Want some chocolate?" Olivia asked as she and Sam walked along the sidewalk to the precinct.

"With cherry?"

"Is there any other way?"

"Nopies." He grinned.

"Nopies?" She smiled leading him into the café, "What's with the new word?"

Sam shrugged, "I like it."

She laughed softly, and placed the order for their drinks, "So, how are you liking Summer School?"

"It's fun, Crystal is in my class for summer time too." He grinned, "I like her, she talks to me, she's not mean like the others."

"Hmm," Olivia teased taking the two drinks from the counter and replacing them with a ten dollar bill, "Sounds like you got a crush on this Crystal girl."

Sam blushed, "You're gross, Mom."

"Right." She grinned and helped him up on his chair, "So, you excited about seeing where me and your dad work?"

"No." he told her matter of factly as he kneeled in the chair.

"No?" She asked in confusion and watched him take a sip of his drink, "Sit on your bottom Honey." She cautioned him and reached over to help him readjust, "What's up? I thought you wanted to see where we work."

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "The television said bad things happened at the police building yesterday, and you and daddy were sad and I had to go to Alex's…I don't like your job Mom, it makes me worry and it hurts my tummy." He told her taking another sip of his chocolate and smiling, "Mmm, cherry."

Olivia smiled softly, "Honey, do you remember the man that you picked out with Fin?"

Sam froze and furrowed his brow, his voice turning into a whisper, "Yeah…he's a bad man Mom, you have to keep away from him…he'll hurt you!" he urged her.

"No, honey. No, he can't hurt me or you or daddy or anyone else ever again…the boogieman will never hurt you again." She assured him reaching across the table and rubbing her knuckle along his cheek, "He can't hurt you."

"How do you know?" He whispered, "How do you know he won't come back?"

"What did the television tell you, Sweetie?"

"I heard it say that the policemen had to shoot a man because he had a gun." Sam told her letting his feet swing freely about the chair, "The television said that the man died."

"He did honey," She whispered, "and I know that the boogieman can't hurt you anymore, because he was the man that died yesterday."

Sam exhaled and took a careful drink of his chocolate, "Do you think God forgives him?"

Olivia arched her brows in complete shock of the question, "I…I don't know…what do you think, Baby?"

Sam digested his own question, "I ask God to forgive me, when I'm a bad boy, can't God forgive the boogieman for being a bad man?"

Olivia tilted her head in wonderment at this little man before her, "I'm…Honey, I don't know…but God can do anything, right?"

"Yeah." He grinned, " 'Cause he's God."

"So," she exhaled not sure she was ready for her own words, "I suppose, if the boogieman asked for forgiveness, God would give it to him."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think he asked?"

"Detective Benson?" A familiar voice sounded from behind her and Sam immediately trained his ear to the female calling his mother.

Olivia stood and grinned at the beautiful site in front of her, "Chloe?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's me…how are you?" She asked throwing her arms around Olivia, "Oh, thank you so much for all the work you did on my case."

"No need for thanks…who's this little guy?" Olivia asked motioning to the toddler in Chloe's arms, "This little guy is my brother, you remember him?"

Olivia's eyes watered seeing the little boy whom she and Elliot and investigated the kidnapping of not long before Isaac was taken, they would be roughly the same age, "He's beautiful." Olivia whispered then grinned, "I'd like you to meet my son." She told her.

"Hi, I'm Chloe." She chirped extending her hand to Sam.

"Chest high, Baby." Olivia told him and watched him meet her hand in a solid shake.

"Hi, I'm Samuel Stabler, I'm nine."

"Nine!" Chloe grinned, "That's a fantastic age!"

He laughed, "My mom and dad love me." He informed her.

She grinned and looked at Olivia with a small wink, "They're good people."

"So," Olivia smiled at the young girl, "Where are you headed? I thought you were staying in Jersey?"

"My trust fund kicked in," Chloe explained, "and now that both of my parents are gone, I decided to keep my brother, I'm studying at NYU right now."

"Really?" Olivia grinned, "That's so great…what are you studying?"

"Criminology, actually." She grinned, and looked at her watch, "Hey, I've got to get him to the sitters before my class, I'll see you around, huh?"

"Absolutely." Olivia grinned.

"Chloe!" Sam stood to his feet, "Want to come eat sgabetti with us?"

Olivia looked at The Little Bomber and smiled.

"Um," Chloe looked at Olivia to see if the invitation was indeed an invitation.

"Next week?" Olivia suggested, "How about Saturday at six, Elliot would love to see you two."

Chloe grinned, "Okay…I actually, um, still have your card. I've wanted to you, but never really had the guts…I heard the last year was…rough for you, to say the least."

Olivia nodded softly and tugged at the toddler's shirt, "Saturday at six…free food, and bring this little cutie."

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"Hey," Olivia smiled kissing Elliot softly on his neck as he completed paperwork, "your son just invited over his first female dinner guest." Olivia laughed.

"Oh, really." Elliot chuckled and wrapped his arm around Sam, "Who'd you invite? Let me guess? Alex?"

"Nopies." Sam smiled, "Chloe…Mom's friend from where we got chocolate."

"Chloe?" Elliot furrowed his brow and then dropped his mouth in recognition, "Chloe?"

"Yep." Olivia grinned, "She's doing well."

"Hey!" Fin grinned walking in with Mac hot on his trail, "Look who's here, how's it going Sam?"

"Odie!" Sam laughed and ran to his voice hugging him.

"Hey, now." Fin kneeled in front of him, "We've got a reputation to uphold here, remember what I told you?"

"No pansy stuff in public." Sam answered.

Olivia and Elliot turned to Fin with raised brows.

Fin stood, "Here." He said and handed him a tootsie pop, "Eat that before you're folks kill me."

Sam smiled and opened the sucker putting it in his mouth and giggling as Mac sat him up in a chair, "This is your mom's desk, feel how nice and clean it is?"

"Yeah." Sam smiled,

"Your dad's is nothing like it." Mac teased ruffling his hair and walking away.

"I heard that." Elliot warned.

"I told him." Olivia whispered to Elliot as Sam focused on his sucker.

"About what?" Elliot asked clicking his mouse to the computer.

"About…Nick." She confessed, "I know you wanted to do it together, but he heard the news this morning and he asked questions."

"Is he okay?" Elliot asked.

"Are you upset with me?" She question before she continued.

"No." He smiled, "I'm not, but is he okay?"

She exhaled and looked at the little boy who carelessly let his feet swing as he licked away, tongue red, lips curled in a smile, "He's compassionate."

A/N: Yeah, not too much going on here, but you may just piss your self on the next chapter. I have to break them down other wise this thing would have been like 60 pages. I'm finishing up the next chapter, it's be up soon!


	23. Chapter 23 Animal Control

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 23 Animal Control

A/N: Okay, this isn't exactly the piss your pants chapter... I got a little a head of myself, but, it's something nontheless...lol. The pissing of the pants is still a little further up the road, but Kellyofthemidnightdawn...you make me laugh so much that I almost pissed myself just to prove a point! I love your reviews!

"How was school?" Olivia asked taking Sam's hand and leading him back to the car.

Sam exhaled and shook his head in side to side, "No talking."

"Excuse me?" Olivia smiled helping him into the car, "No one talked to you today? Or you don't want to talk?"

"Both." He whispered and leaned his head against the car door.

Olivia pulled the car from the curb, "Are you upset about something, Honey?"

"Mom!" He ground out her name, "No words!"

She arched her brow in surprise of his frustration and reached over to him as she drove. "How about a hand then, huh?" she asked softly taking his hand into hers and smiling at his tender squeeze.

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Six hours after picking Sam up from school Olivia found herself curled up on the couch reading _The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night._ Elliot called earlier to tell her he was staying late in order to finish paperwork. She neither bawked nor argued, because she knew that him completing paperwork meant they had the weekend to spend with one another.

It was however, unsettling to her, that Sam had refused to eat his snack, refused to listen to Sponge Bob with her and simply let Tripod in and went to his room. She closed her book and decided that desperate times caused for Cherry Garcia.

She knocked softly on his door, "Sam, it's Mom, can I come in?"

She wasn't surprised that she didn't get an answer but she was surprised when he simply opened the door and crawled back to his bed, "Hey, Handsome, I was wondering if you might like to talk now?" she asked sitting softly on his bed and stretching out next to him, "Maybe over some Cherry Garcia?"

He shook his head 'no' but made every effort to snuggle close to her, her shirt scrunched into his innocent fists, his forehead hidden in the crook of her neck, "Sam…do you remember the last time you didn't want to talk? You made me a promise that you would talk to me…I'd really like to see that you know how to keep your word…can you tell me why you don't want to talk?"

He took in a deep breath and pulled back to talk to her, but only let out a ragged sob and fell back to her chest, crying, "NO WORDS!" he suddenly let out a sharp yell then quieted, "Please Mom, no words." He told her covering her lips with his palm.

She gently lowered his palm, "Samuel." She whispered his name softly and rubbed his back gingerly, "Tell me why you don't want to use your words, please?" He frantically shook his head 'no' and held tight to her.

"Did your words get you in trouble at school today?" she asked.

He shook his head 'no' again and curled tighter into her.

"Did someone say something to hurt your feelings? Did their words hurt you, Honey?"

He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and shook his head 'no' again. She furrowed her brow in complete confusion, "Honey, I'm not following you, you love words…remember what your Dad and I tell you? Words are powerful-" and before she could finish he buried his face into her shoulder and sobbed frantically against her.

"No words, Mom." He pled with her, "Please, no."

"Sam, I need you to tell me so we can fix this." She told him pulling him back gently and kissing his forehead, "It's okay to use your words right now…it's just me and you."

He hiccupped and sniffled, "Is Daddy gonna take me away from you?"

She raised her brows in shock, "Why would Dad take you from me?"

Sam cried harder and wiped his eyes by rubbing his fingers in tiny circles over them, " 'Cause I killed the man."

Confusion set in, right a long with shock, "Who did you think you killed, Sweet Boy?"

Sam sucked in a ragged breath, "The boogieman."

"Samuel," she caressed his face in his hands, "I want you to listen to me with your big boy ears can you do that?"

He nodded yes.

"Tell me 'yes'…I want to hear you say the words, tell me you have your big boy ears on." She encouraged him.

He swallowed and framed her face in his hands, "I have my big boy ears on, Mom, I do." He whispered.

"Okay, that's good." She kissed his cheek and kept her lips at his ear, "You did not kill him. The boogieman made a bad decision and pointed a gun at policemen and they protected themselves…that's why he died."

"But you said we have to be careful with our words."

"We do." She agreed.

"You said words have the power to heal people and destroy people." He told her wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"They do." She agreed, "But…why do you think you killed the boogieman?"

"Cause…I told you I wanted him to die so he would leave me alone." He whispered bowing his head, "and now he's dead."

"Raise your head, Honey." She whispered softly and rested her forehead against his, "Your words didn't kill him…his actions killed him."

"But, you said words can heal and destroy…and you're better 'cause of my words." He told her patting her abdomen softly, "and if your better because of my words, then he is dead because of my words…and I hurt his family," He started to sob again, "And I made them sad, and now my tummy hurts a lot," he cried and tried to slip off of her lap, "I don't feel s-" and before he could finish he vomited in Olivia's embrace.

She ignored the feeling of warm liquid clinging to her skin, "Its okay." She whispered rubbing his back and standing slowly with him in her arms, "Well get you to the restroom." She told him lowering him gently and watching as his abnormally small frame hunched low over the toilet and as he wretched and cried until he had nothing else to offer.

She rubbed his back softly, "You didn't kill him Sam. You didn't do anything wrong." She whispered to him, His body shook uncontrollably, "Let's get you changed, huh?"

"NO!" he screeched, "No, please!" he cried and prompted his body into dry heaves. She pulled a towel off the towel rack and draped it across her now ruined white maternity shirt, the same one that reminded her of her romp with Elliot in the changing room. She pulled him back into her lap as she leaned against the wall, "I'm sick, Mom." He whispered as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Your upset." She whispered, "And it's okay to be upset, but you didn't do anything wrong, Sweet Boy, you didn't do anything wrong Honey, in fact, I think you were a real hero."

"A hero?" He whispered.

"Yeah…I really believe you saved my life with your prayer." She whispered in his ear, "I wasn't feeling too good, Honey and then suddenly I had all the strength in the world, and I knew it was because you prayed. I had a lot of close calls that day, but you prayed for me, and I'm here. Your words saved me…but they didn't kill him, I was there honey, I promise you that your words didn't kill him."

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Elliot juggled take out food in his hands along with his work bag and a small surprise for his wife as he opened the door a little stunned to hear nothing except the silence of a dark house.

After depositing everything onto the counter he turned on the kitchen light and smiled that, while it was indeed nine O'clock, he didn't think Olivia would actually go to bed on her own. He smiled to himself and made his way to the back of the house until he caught the illumination coming from the hall bathroom. Deciding Sam must have gotten up to go to the restroom, he called softly in order not to scare the youngster, "Sam, Buddy, everything okay?"

When there was no answer he gently pushed the already opened door all the way open and smiled seeing his wife tucked in the corner with his son in her embrace both sound asleep. Elliot grabbed a hand towel and crouched next to both of them, wiping softly at Sam's cheek and then moving gently to remove some remnants from Olivia's forearm.

She woke almost as soon as he touched her, "Hey." He groaned and winced, "My butt is asleep."

Elliot laughed softly, "What happened."

She groaned, "I'll tell you later, can you put him to sleep?"

"He needs a shower." Elliot suggested, "Both of you do." He teased and looked at her shirt, "Ah, man. I loved that shirt."

She smiled and touched his cheek, "I loved it too…can you help me with him, no shower, he's had a rough night."

"Okay." He smiled and gingerly picked up his son, unconcerned with the vomit that Sam still had on his own clothing.

Olivia slowly stood to her feet, "El, there's wipes by his bed…could you just try and clean him up a little bit?"

Elliot smiled, "Sure…jump in the shower Liv."

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In spite of knowing that his son needed all the sleep he could get, there was no way that Elliot was going to pull his clothes off. Sam had gone to sleep in Olivia's arms and Elliot cringed to think of what his reaction would be waking up and finding Elliot undressing him. "Sam," Elliot whispered in his ear and sat him on the edge of the bed, "wake up, Son…just for a second."

"Tired." Sam muttered.

"Sam, I need your help…I need you to get into your jammies." Elliot informed him.

"Daddy?" Sam rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"The one and only." Elliot grinned putting pajama's on the bed.

"Mom…she didn't eat with me tonight, she sat at the table and talked with me but she said she wasn't hungry." He informed him pulling his shirt off of him.

"She'll be okay." Elliot assured him, "I told her I was bringing her dinner, so she was probably saving room." Elliot explained taking a wipie in his hand, "I'm gonna clean you up a little bit, that okay with you?"

"Not my legs." Sam whispered.

"Nope." Elliot assured him, "Your legs don't need to be cleaned but your chest and neck do…how do you feel about that?"

Sam exhaled and shook his head, "Okay."

Elliot grinned knowing this would be the first time Sam let him touch him in such a vulnerable way without permission from Olivia or the need to have her close by, "So." Elliot spoke softly and touched the wipe to his face first, "Your Mom told me you hit a rough spot, want to tell your ol' man what happened?" he asked tipping his chin slightly and wiping along his neck and then discarding the wipe for another.

"Dad…does God love one person more than another?"

"No." Elliot told him confidently as he wiped along his shoulder, "God loves us all the same…why do you ask?"

"If I prayed for a boy to get better and he didn't, but I prayed for a girl to get better and she did…what does that mean?" he asked extending his arm as Elliot trailed the wipie along his skin.

"Well," Elliot pulled out a fresh wipy again, "I think it means that God's will isn't our own, and we can pray a lot for someone but ultimately it's between that person and God."

A fresh tear escaped his eye as Elliot finished cleaning his body, "Daddy…will you take me away from Mommy?"

Elliot crouched in front of him and took his young hands in his, "No…why would I have to take you? Why do you think I would?"

"Because…I…well, Mom says I didn't kill the boogieman, but I think this time Mom might be wrong."

"Sam, you didn't kill the boogieman…he was a coward and made three officers shoot him, why do you think you killed him? You weren't there."

"My words…I told Mommy I wanted him to die so he would leave us alone and now he's dead."

Elliot smiled softly, "Words don't kill people...they might hurt people a whole lot, but they don't kill people." He assured him.

"But, I prayed for the boogieman to get better and God only made Mom better…does he love girls more than he loves us boys?" Sam asked folding his arms to keep warm.

Elliot pulled his Sponge Bob pajamas from the bed and helped him into the shirt stalling for time, not knowing how respond to his son who had prayed for his worst enemy, "What…what did you pray about Sam?" He asked in a hoarse whisper.

"That he would be responsible and that he would get better and not try to scare us all the time and that he would go to church so his heart would be happy." He told him matter of factly, "But, he didn't get responsible and he didn't get better and he didn't go to church and I think that his heart never got better and his family is sad."

How had it come to be that this boy, once so petrified and fearful, had become a force that could bring tears to Elliot's eyes; that could bring Elliot to his knees? "Sam?"

"Yeah, Daddy?"

"You didn't kill the boogieman, and God doesn't love girls more than boys, but sometimes when we pray…well…it's not that God doesn't answer our prayers, it's just that sometimes He doesn't answer them the way we want."

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"Can I join you?" Elliot grinned peeking into the shower to see his wife bracing herself against the cool tile with her head bowed into the stream. She reached her hand in back of her, silently inviting him into the shower with her. He snaked his arms around her slick waist and kissed her shoulder softly, "How ya doin'?"

"Mmm, I've had better days." She confessed, "But I've also had worse, so I'm so-so I guess." She smiled and leaned back into his embrace, "How are you?"

He exhaled and kissed her neck gently, "I missed you today, and I don't like to be there without you."

"I prefer to be there with you." She assured him, "But, I want the babies to be well, have you thought of any names?"

"Evan?"

"Too short."

"Too short?"

"Yeah, that's only two syllables; let's go for three at least."

He smiled, "Have you thought of any names?"

"Isaiah."

He smiled against her, "You like that verse, huh?"

"Yeah…it's…helped a lot." She confessed, "But it's a terrible thing that we're not having boys," She teased, "A perfectly good name gone to waste, looks like it'll be Isabel and…well I haven't thought of another name yet." She confessed with a small laugh.

"What about Serena, aft-"

"NO!" she barked and pulled away from him to look at him, "No! Absolutely not, why would you say that?"

He looked at her in shock, "I'm sorry…I thought, I mean…you guys reconciled, I thought maybe you would want-"

"No. Never. Absolutely not. Our children will not have her name in any way, shape or form." She told him firmly, "They'll have strong independent names that don't make them question where they came from! They won't be linked to her at all! They will not be Benson, do you hear me? They can't be Benson!"

"Hey, hey, shhh." He calmed her pulling her close to him and caressing her soaking hair, "Hey, what was that? You're a good woman, why can't they have a little Benson in them?" he chuckled lightly, "I personally like Benson."

Olivia exhaled, "I didn't mean for that to come out like that…I just…they need to be strong kids, they have to be."

"They will be." He assured her tipping her face up to meet him, a gentle kiss, a calming caress, "You're so beautiful." He whispered over her lips, a playful nip at her jaw. She felt him rise against her, hard and ready against her belly causing her to suddenly break from him.

"El." She shook her head softly, "Please?"

"What?" he whispered, "What's wrong?"

"I know…I know I said I wanted to, but," she shook her head in frustration, "I'm so…I don't think…I can't." she whispered bowing her head.

He nodded careful not to show his disappointment, a lingering kiss placed on the crown of her head, "Are you scared?"

"A little." She confessed with her head buried into his neck, "I want to, but I'm scared of what might happen."

He laughed softly, "Come on, I'll wash you're back."

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"Wow dinner at ten O'clock at night…isn't there a rule against this?" Olivia teased, "I would have been in bed by nine, but Sam was having a little bit of a problem."

"He told me." Elliot grinned, "He opened up to me." He informed her, helping her sit up in the bed as he placed the tray over her, "He's actually a very complex little boy."

"How's that?" She asked grinning at the pork fried rice in front of her.

"He told me he prayed for Nick Ganzner."

Olivia looked up sharply, "What?"

"He didn't tell you that?"

"No." She shook her head in shock, "But that explains a lot…he was so upset."

"He thinks maybe God loves girls more than boys."

"Well," She shrugged her shoulders, "We do smell better."

He laughed and reached into the bag retrieving his item and stretching out next to her, "Here."

She smiled brightly, "Flowers?"

"That's what they are…you don't like them?" he asked looking back at them.

"I love them." She grinned and smelled, "Where'd you find purple lilies?"

"I'm a man of many talents." He grinned as she took the small bundle from him and inhaled their scent, "My favorite flower…you've never brought me flowers, what gives?"

"I was thinking the same thing this morning…so I made a stop." He informed her, kissing her neck gently, "I love you."

She leaned her head to his and caressed his face, "I love you…please be patient with me, my emotions are all over the place right now and I just don't think I have the guts-"

"The guts for what?"

She blushed, and laid the flowers on her nightstand, "Nothing."

"It's something; you're brighter than a tomato." He teased, "Tell me, I want to know."

She exhaled, "I know you said, you'd let me make the first move…but I don't think I have the guts."

He smiled, "I was sort of trying to come onto you in the shower."

"I know." She shook her head and pulled her hair behind her ear, "Believe me, I know…I just…didn't…not in the shower…after-"

"Oh." Elliot closed his eyes, "Oh, Liv, I'm so sorry. I didn't put it together, I just….oh, no. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She smiled and touched her hands to his face, "Don't be…I just…I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, and I just sort of need…you to take the lead…last time I did…" Her voice trailed off and she looked away.

He tipped her chin up and spoke compassionately, "Things went wrong…I understand. Let's make a deal?"

"What do you have in mind?" She smiled softly.

"I'll give you all the time you need, I won't do anything until I think you're doing better…but you've got to tell me how your feeling, so I know…and your completely allowed to say 'No' if you're afraid…but not nervous. You can get over the nervousness, but I'd rather you worked through the fear…deal?"

She smiled, kissed him gently, "Deal."

"You're an amazing woman." He grinned nuzzling her nose.

"Lily." She whispered suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"The girls should be called, Isabel and Lily."

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One week after Nick Ganzner died with all of his secrets and all of his knowledge, and eight days after Elliot and Olivia conceded the fight to find their son, at least for the time being, Olivia found herself slipping into a pair of jeans for their Saturday night dinner with Chloe, who she was anxiously awaiting to see.

"Looks like your due for another size." Elliot chuckled wrapping his hand around her waist, "You're so beautiful. I love you."

She laughed, "I can't believe you just insulted and then flattered in less than a second."

"I'm good at what I do." He teased caressing her belly, "How are Isaiah and Luke?"

"Lily and Isabel are doing just fine." She grinned and turned to face him, "I haven't had any pain all this week and the monitor has been pretty consistent." She informed him, "Who knows," She smiled, "Maybe in the near future," she kissed him playfully and rubbed into his hips, "I might get to fool around with you."

He grinned, but before he could offer his own torture the doorbell rang, "She's very early." Elliot furrowed his brow and looked down, "I can't answer the door, sorry." He smiled sheepishly.

She laughed and kissed him quickly before pulling a shirt over her head and making her way to the door, grinning and happily awaiting the young girl on the other side; she opened the door, "Chl-." Olivia froze, "Um…can I help you?" She asked starring at the young man in front of her, "Do I know you?"

"Not exactly, we've met." He confessed, "But, no, I don't have the pleasure of your friendship."

Olivia arched her brow, "My husband will be out shortly." She informed him putting up a smokescreen at this man whom she felt she should be able to remember but whose mind offered her no clues.

"I should probably talk to him too."

Olivia furrowed her brow and tilted her head, " Wait-I do know you…you're," Her eyes widened in shock as the memory of him played in her mind, "What are you doing her?" she asked softly.

"Ma'am, I-"

"Don't call me that." She whispered instinctively.

"Mrs. Stabler" He started again.

"Olivia." She whispered still starring at him, "What do you want?"

"To apologize." He bowed his head, "I…I feel really terrible for what happened, and I know it's really late, but to be honest…I didn't have the guts to face you after..."

Olivia watched him in silence, watched him in shock.

"I'm sorry Olivia, I really am, and I apologize for my role in it all." He told her offering a small bow and turning to leave.

"Wait." She called after him, "What's…what's your name, again?"

He turned to her and offered a weak smile, "I'm Donovan."

Olivia opened the door for his entrance "Com on in." she whispered.

Donovan hesitated for all of a second before entering and finding his way to the couch before Elliot walked out fiddling with his tie, "Liv…this thing is possessed." He muttered, "Help." He asked then stopped once he caught sight of Olivia sitting on the couch across from Donovan, "Um, hello?" Elliot extended his hand, "I'm Elliot, Olivia's husband."

"I know." Donovan nodded slowly, "I'm Donovan."

Elliot sat next to Olivia whose eyes were red brimmed, "What brings you by?" Elliot asked pulling his dress shoe on and tying it.

"To apologize."

"For what?" Elliot asked slipping the mate on.

"Isaac."

Elliot froze and slowly looked up, recognition of the man in his home finally setting in, "Get out." He hissed making his way to Donovan to which Olivia immediately intercepted the two.

"Wait." Olivia whispered gently placing her hand on Elliot's forearm, "Hear him?" she asked.

Elliot nodded softly in agreement, "What do you want?"

Donovan closed his eyes holding back tears he hoped wouldn't come, "I wanted to tell you, that what I did…what I was a part of, was chicken of me. The pain I put you two through, should have never been. I questioned your personalities as if you two were suspects, only to find that you two are the most upright people I've heard of." He fought for another breath, offered a sheepish smile as he swiped a tear, "I just…wanted to tell you that I'm sorry, and if I could do it over…I would. If I could bring your son back…I would."

"You were doing your job." Olivia whispered.

"Please don't let me hide behind that." Donovan replied, "I could have warned you…I could have told them to tell you, I could have refused to be apart of it."

"Why didn't you?" Elliot asked resting his hand on Olivia's shoulder.

Donovan pressed his lips together, "I chose the less of the two evils…I hoped that it was your son so that you two could move on…but I also hoped it wasn't so you two could have hope, there was no good decision, but not letting you know, is what I truly regret, and I just wanted to tell you I'm truly sorry."

Elliot and Olivia starred at him in silence, confused at the sudden confession until the doorbell rang. Needing an out, Olivia excused herself and left Donovan with Elliot as she walked slowly to the door and opened it, "Hey!" Olivia smiled at the young girl and the beautiful blond haired toddler on her hip, "Come on in." she told them opening the door, surprised to see Elliot hugging Donovan and releasing with the infamous three pats. Deciding she would ask him what exactly that was all about later, she ushered Chloe into the living room, "Chloe, you remember Elliot Stabler, my husband."

"Husband!" Chloe's blue eyes sparkled, "I thought he was your partner."

"He is." Olivia grinned, "Long story."

Chloe grinned, "Good to see you again Mr. Stabler."

"Please, call me Elliot." He smiled then noticed Chloe seemed slightly more interested in Donovan, "Oh," Elliot smiled looking at Olivia who was watching both Donovan and Chloe in curiosity as they starred at one another, Elliot cleared his throat, "Chloe this is Donovan, and Donovan this is Chloe."

Olivia tired to suppress the smile that fought its way to her lips as the two younger people starred at each other speechless. His hand lazily extending to meet hers, his lips parted slightly in shock, neither said a word, but it was the blush that rose up Chloe's neck and the goofy smirk on Donovan's face that told Elliot and Olivia all they needed to know.

Elliot nudged Donovan with his Elbow, "Say Hi." He whispered.

Donovan, startled and then blushed, "I'm sorry, it's very nice to meet you, I was just-"

"Staying for dinner." Olivia interrupted garnering a knowing look from Elliot and complete confusion from the two.

"It's a pleasure." Chloe looked away, her hand on the back of her neck, "This is Matthew, my little brother."

Donovan crouched down and smiled, "Very nice to meet you too Matthew."

The little boy grinned and looked up at Chloe, "Ma ma."

"No." She corrected gently, "Chloe." She said pointing at herself and then apologetically at the three in front of her, "He doesn't understand, he thinks I'm his mother."

"Hang in there." Olivia encouraged, "Things will get straightened out."

"Hey, Olivia, where is your son?"

"Sleeping…he's always either sleeping or eating." Olivia grinned.

"Son?" Donovan tilted his head in confusion.

Elliot and Olivia smiled, "How about you two take a seat, Elliot will get another setting for Donovan and I'll go wake up Sam."

Olivia made her way down the hall only to be stopped by Elliot, "Hey." He grinned, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That those two are all googly eyes over each other." She laughed softly, "Yeah…kind of weird huh?"

"Maybe." Elliot shrugged, "I was a little surprised that you asked Donovan to stay."

"Did you see the look on Chloe's face?" Olivia chuckled, "Too classic."

"You're a devious woman." He smiled and kissed her lips tenderly, "Outright devious."

"What was the hug for?" she whispered in curiosity.

"You upset?"

She thought about it for a second, "No, just curious."

"Can I tell you later?"

She smiled, kissed him again, "Yeah."

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"Sam," Olivia grinned do you remember Chloe and her little brother from the café?"

Sam grinned, "Yeah! Are they here?"

"Yep." She grinned then laughed watching him bolt out of the bed, "Hey, wait a second little boy."

"Mom!" he groaned, "I want to see them."

"You're in your boxers Baby, I let you sleep a little longer after the pool, you need to get dressed."

Sam blushed, "Help me hurry!"

"Hey," She scolded softly, "Care to rephrase that?"

He exhaled in perfect impatience, "Mom, will you please help me get dressed so I can go fast?"

"Sure." She laughed, "Jeans and shirt? Or Slacks and tie?"

"What's dad wearing?"

"Slacks and tie." She smiled.

"What are you wearing?"

"Jeans and a shirt."

He furrowed his brow, "Why so different?"

Olivia laughed and placed his hands on her belly, "Cause your mom can't fit into her slacks anymore. What's your decision?"

"Slacks and tie, please." He told her hoping off the bed and rummaging for under clothes.

"Want your pink shirt?"

"Black one." He said pulling on fresh boxers, "Silver tie, please."

"Okay." She smiled at his surprising knack for fashion, "Here you go, want your dress shoes?"

"Adidas, please?" He told her slipping into the shirt and buttoning it as fast as he could.

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Honey, you can't wear sneakers with dress pants."

"Yes I can." He assured her, "and it looks cool." He informed her.

She smiled and pulled out his addidas, "alright."

"Mom, can you tie this please?" he asked tucking in his shirt quickly and buttoning his pants.

Olivia arched her brow in surprise, "You want me to tie your tie?"

"Yes."

"Even though you already know how to?" She asked kneeling in front of him and popping his collar.

"Yeah." He grinned holding onto her shoulders, "I'm excited, and I don't tie them well, when I'm excited."

"Oh." She grinned, "You're excited about meeting new people?"

"Yeah."

"Sam, can I tell you something?"

"Yeah."

"There's a man here that you haven't met before, are you okay with that?"

"Yeah…but, is Chloe here?"

"Yep."

"Okay." He grinned ran his hand over the knot and bolted past her, "Hey Chloe!"

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Elliot laughed seeing Sam barrel down the hallway to the kitchen table, "Chloe?"

"Yes." She grinned at the boy's anxiousness, "How are you Sam? Thank you so much for inviting me."

Sam slid into his chair as Olivia finally caught up, a grin on her face at Sam's willingness to come out unescorted with a new male in the house, "My mom likes you." Sam told her, "I heard it in her voice when she talked to you at the chocolate place."

Chloe grinned at looked at Olivia as she sat down, "I like your mom too, she's a pretty cool person, isn't she."

"Yeah she is." Donovan whispered.

"Who are you?" Sam asked after hearing Donovan's voice, "I don't know your voice."

"Sam," Elliot smiled, "this is Donovan, he's a…friend of ours."

Donovan raised his brows at the label and smiled softly, "Very nice to meet you young man, and that tie…you look very sharp."

Sam giggled, "Look at my shoes." He told him holding up his foot.

"Very nice." Donovan praised him, "I like it, sort of sharp yet casual, good call."

"See, Mom." Sam grinned, "I'm sharp and camisole."

"Casual." Olivia corrected softly through a smile that turned into a grin when she caught Chloe watching Donovan's interaction with Sam. A small blush over her cheeks.

"So, Chloe," Olivia grinned, "Tell us what's been happening with you."

The laughter is incredible from the kitchen table, as food is passed, stories are shared and glances between Donovan and Chloe are stolen under the curious eyes of both Elliot and Olivia. Matthew and Sam eventually found them selves asleep in a giant mound of Lego's and toy cars in the living room as the group sits at the kitchen table, discussing everything and nothing at the same time.

Elliot's hand finds its way to Olivia's thigh as she tells the two guests that she is having twins, the smile and congratulations she receives from the both of them, warms her heart, but his hand on her thigh causes a flood of sensations through her body and she finds herself blushing. Dishes are done with feminine hands as Olivia teases Chloe about her seeming interest in Donovan as a big sister would a smaller one and in the back of her mind she knows that Elliot is working on Donovan in the living room.

When the kitchen is back to normalcy both women return to the living room to see two men laughing, "What's so funny?" Olivia asks kissing Elliot on the cheek.

Elliot shook his head, "Donovan just informed me that Warner is quite the comedian."

"Ah, I see." Olivia smiled and interrupted a curious glance between Donovan and Chloe, "Want to stay for dessert, we've got so much ice cream in this house it's a sin."

Chloe blushed being caught starring at this new creature before her and secretly Olivia gets a kick out of it. Now she knows why Alex and Casey insist on torturing her so much…its fun to watch someone squirm.

"I have to get going, I have a huge profiling test on Monday and I need tomorrow to study." Chloe said with a small smile, "And if Matthew doesn't get his eight hours, I'm dead." She laughs and kneels to pick him up.

"Let me help you." Donovan grinned picking up the small bag she'd brought as she balanced the boy against her.

She smiled, "Thank you." She blushed and turned to give Olivia a hug, "I hope we do this again."

Olivia held her close and whispered through a grin, "Because you want to see us…or Donovan?" She teased and then spoke up, "Absolutely, let's have dinner again!" she winked and watched as the two walked out of her home. In spite of the pain of Olivia and Elliot's current situation both knew that they needed this, needed to make other people smile, and needed to be witness to the beginning stages of something beautiful, instead of bench warmers observing constant chaos.

"Night and thank you so much for dinner." Chloe said.

Donovan turned and took a tentative step towards Olivia, "Thank you…I know it was hard for you, you didn't have to d-"

"I wanted to." Olivia whispered back and gently pushed him out the door, "If you don't ask her out…your nuts." She smiled and closed the door.

"Turn the lights off!" Elliot hissed as soon as the door was closed.

"What? Why?" She asked in confusion and then grinned watching Elliot pull a small portion of the curtain back, "Move," she giggled worming her way to spy on the two, "move I can't see."

"Get your own spot." He told her through a grin then opened the curtain just enough for her to see.

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"Hey, so what's with the profiling test?"

"Studying Criminology." She admitted standing next to her car having just strapped Matthew into his car seat. After a lull of silence she bowed her head slightly, "Well, I guess I better get-"

"Would you like to go out with me?"

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"What was that?" Olivia squinted her eyes, "What did she just give him?"

"I don't know." Elliot confessed straining to see, "We should have turned the porch light on."

"Yeah," Olivia rolled her eyes, "Cause that wouldn't have been obvious."

Elliot laughed, "Well, I don't know what's going on but he just helped her into her car."

"So," Olivia smiled, "He's not a complete jerk."

Elliot grinned, "I do believe we just set those two up."

Olivia beamed, "That's number two…were good."

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"Fin! Mac!" Cragen barked from his office, "Get in here!"

"You bellowed on this fine Sunday morning?" Fin smirked as he and his partner made their way into his office.

"I want you to go questions Ganzner's wife."

Fin arched his brow in surprise, "You think she had something to do with this?"

Cragen exhaled and rubbed his chin, "That's what you two need to find out, isn't it? Someone has to pay for Isaac…someone knows something, a little boy doesn't just disappear."

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"I hate these calls."

"Oh come on Vernon, their not that bad, you go pick up the animal and call it a day."

"Yeah," Patrick agreed in full sarcasm, "And pray the owner doesn't come out of his house and shoot you." He huffed stepping out of the animal control vehicle, "What the hell is wrong with that house?"

"Holy crap…dude, I've never seen anything like that…it's like a friggin fortress." Vernon's jaw went slack at the house that had all windows boarded and barred.

"Well, the dog is supposed to be in the back yard…emaciated. The call said it looked like it hadn't been fed in a month."

"Who called it in again?" Vernon asked preparing the pole for the dog.

"The neighbor."

"Well, let's get this over with, you go see if anyone is home, I'll start around the back."

"Like hell you will." Patrick snapped, "I'm not going up to that house, some friggin loony nut will probably come out and hack me to death."

Vernon shook his head, "I'd like to hack you to death, I swear you're the biggest girly la la I've ever seen…come on."

Both animal control officers made their way to the front door of a house that could very well pass as the set for some low budget horror film. "The neighbor said that there is a car that usually comes here every two days or so, but, they haven't seen it for awhile." Vernon informed his partner.

"That's probably because he was hacked to death by Leatherface." Patrick muttered.

"Just ring the damn doorbell!" Vernon huffed, "Crap."

Upon ringing the door bell and knocking on the frame of the door, only to receive no answer both men looked at each other, "Alright, well, let's go see if we can get a visual on this dog, if it's bad enough we'll do a confiscation and leave the notice on the door, otherwise we'll just leave out some fresh food and water and do another check tomorrow."

"Lead the way oh fearless SPCA officer."

"I'd like to smack you, you know that?" Vernon shook his head as they made their way around the house, "That fence has to be eight feet!" Vernon groaned, "Who the hell has an eight foot fence?"

"Leatherface."

"If you don't stop with the Leatherface bull crap, I'll hack your balls off and feed them to Leatherface myself!"

Patrick jiggled the latch on the fence and peered at the elaborate lock set up, "What the hell is this person's problem?"

"Can you see through the slats?"

"No…there's some kind of covering, like Ivy or something."

"Ivy? In New York?" Vernon raised his brow, "What are you? Some type of green thumb?"

"It was a guess…could be honeysuckle for all I know." He shrugged.

Vernon maintained his best look of disgust, "I don't get paid enough for this crap…give me a boost."

"I'm not your slave…give me a boost." Patrick snapped.

"I'm gonna boost my boot right up your ass! Give me a hike; I'm taller that you, I'll see more!"

"Whatever." Patrick rolled his eyes and interlocked his fingers for Vernon to step in, his body flexing to pick up his partner, "Holy crap, you're not just taller, your fatter, what the hell do you eat, man!"

"Oh, no." Vernon muttered, "Alright, put me down."

"What is it?" Patrick asked.

"I think the dog might be dead, it's tied up, looks pretty bad…we've got to go over this fence…if the dog is alive, it won't be for much longer."

"Hike me up." Patrick told him, "I'm shorter, you'll get over with a running leap, hurry up, lunch time is in thirty minutes!"

Vernon hiked Patrick over the fence easily and backed away to take a running leap and pull himself over the fence before he landed on his feet next to his partner who had pepper spray ready.

"Believe me, you won't need it, the dog is bad." Vernon muttered and pointed, "See."

"Oh, no…what the hell is wrong with people?" He groaned walking over and cautiously crouching next to the dog, "Vernon! He's alive, he's breathing…shallow and he looks like hell but he's alive." He exclaimed pulling a water bottle from his cargo pants and squeezing a faint stream into the dogs dry mouth, "Doesn't look good…his chain is embedded into his neck, cut the line, the vet will have to take it out."

When Vernon didn't move Pat looked up in confusion, "Move dude we don't have time."

"Shhh!" Vernon hissed, "Dude, do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Listen ass hole!" he hissed again and trained his ear, "Hear it?"

Patrick stood and focused on a faint voice, "Where's it coming from?"

Vernon stared at his partner in confusion, "It sounds like…like it's under us."

Both men kneeled on the floor aware of the soft whimper from the dog behind them as they moved about the yard, "Shhh. Stop!" Patrick hissed, "Listen. It's louder."

Both men crawled into the same direction until Patrick stopped them both, "Dude look at that patch of grass."

"Patrick, I'm crawling around some psycho's back yard following some sound that I'm not exactly sure I heard because I haven't eaten since yesterday…I don't have time for your green thumb bull crap!"

"Will you just shut the hell up!...Look, look at this grass and look at that grass…it's different, this is a planted seed, that on the other hand," he told him pointing to the large patch of grass, "Is sod…it's rolled on. Pre grown stuff."

"And your point, Sherlock?"

Patrick shook his head and stood walking over to the curious patch of grass, "It's dying."

"So."

"So it's not rooted."

"Again, So?"

Patrick knelt down and gasped, "Did you hear it?"

Vernon stared at the ground in shock, "Yeah, hell yeah I heard that." He got to his knees quickly and pulled at the corner of the grass, pulling frantically only to reveal foam installation instead of soil, "Dude, what the hell is going on here?"

"I don't know but keep digging." Patrick yelled pulling at the installation and being suddenly met with a piece of plywood to which he rested his ear against it, "Is someone in there!" He yelled pounding on the plywood only to be met with a faint knocking as well.

"Dude!" Vernon squeaked in horror, "Someone's down there!"

"Grab that side!" Patrick yelled suddenly in full command of his partner who seemed to definitely work better with animal victims rather than a female voice crying out from the depths of a run down back yard.

"I can't get leverage." He snapped, both men looking around frantically, "There! Pat, hand me that stick!"

Patrick moved quickly grabbing the stick and tossing it to his partner who shoved it into the corner of the soil and ply board, using it for leverage until Patrick could slide his hands under it and allow both men to groan and struggle to remove the wood.

"I got a door or something! Call the Police!" Patrick yelled.

Vernon sprang into action, making the call and watching his partner kick and struggle at a worn lock on the door as the voice inside grew slightly louder without the barrier of ply board. He was giving the police dispatcher the address when Patrick managed to open the door, "It's open…Ma'am! Ma'am are you okay?" He yelled down the narrow flight of stairs.

All Vernon heard was a faint, "No…don't." Before Patrick took one step into the cellar, then another and a shot rang out sending his partner crumbling to his knees.

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"Your husband is dead and you don't care?" Mac tilted his head in confusion, "I'm not sure I follow you Mrs. Ganzner."

"Johanna…please, call me Johanna?"

"Okay, Johanna, we need to understand this situation, we need you to explain it." Fin told her as they both sat in the confines of her living room.

"Nick…Nick, started to change, we were married for thirteen years, but about six years ago, I suspected he was cheating."

"What made you suspect that?"

She smiled bitterly, "He…kept screaming her name in bed…eventually we stopped having sex all together, I could stand knowing he was having sex with me and thinking of someone else."

Fin ran through the time line in his head, "You said six years ago?"

"Yes."

Fin swallowed, "What was her name?"

She shook her head and laughed bitterly, "Olivia…she must have been something because that was the only time he could climax…when he saw me as her."

"You ever meet Olivia?" Mac asked as Fin sat back in shock.

"No…didn't want to, I never filed for separation because…he just started to loose his mind, he was obsessed."

"With?"

"That woman!" she chirped, "That's all he could think of…day in and day out, Olivia this, Olivia that…it got really old really quick."

"So…when did he stop living here?" Fin asked the wheels turning in his head.

She exhaled, "Oh, about four years ago I suppose…it's been a long time."

"Do you have kids Johanna?" Mac asked suddenly.

"No," She shook her head in sadness, "I can't have kids. That was just another thing Nick and I fought about…look, I'm really sorry about the mess he's caused but as I've said, I haven't seen him years and to be honest…I'm glad he's dead."

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"PATRICK!" Vernon yelled at his partner, and then into his shoulder radio and then into his cell phone begging for the police dispatcher to send an ambulance, "Pat!" he yelled again falling to his knees and reaching into the cellar, pulling him up laboriously by his uniform.

"Vern." Pat muttered holding his chest, "Hurts, Dude."

"I know." He said ripping open his uniform shirt and hissing at the hole oozing blood. "Oh no."

"That…bad?" he panted feeling for the wound and raising his hand to his eyes, tears springing to life at the site of blood. "No." He cried, "No…please….I don't want to die Vern."

"Your not gonna!" He barked placing his hands over the wound only to find the blood was seeping out more than he could handle. He pulled his own shirt off and balled it up to hold over the wound as Pat began to cough, a trail of blood at the corner of his mouth, "Dude! Just hang on!"

"My folks?" He cried in pain, "Please."

"Just hang on, man, the ambulance is coming." He encouraged, "Just hang on."

Minutes seemed like ages as he watched his partner struggle to breath, watched is eyes roll here and there, until a loud bang was heard up against the fence and a team of ambulance and fire fighters rushed to the back yard.

"Vern?" Patrick muttered, "Re…mem…ber dog…kay?"

"Kay…the ambulance in here, dude, you're gonna be fine…don't be a wussy lala." He smiled sadly.

"Who?" Pat smirked in pain as they lifted him onto the gurney, "Me?" He muttered as they rushed him away.

"Help me!" The voice came from the cellar again.

"I need cops!" Vernon yelled, "Please! Help up!" He barked as officers began covering the back yard and kneeling next to him peering into the dark cellar with flashlights.

"Ma'am, it's the police." An officer called into the cellar, "We're gonna come down and-"

"NO!" She screeched, "No! He's a freak…it's trapped. A wired on the next step…another gun! Do not come down here!" She yelled, "But please! I'm begging you, get us out of here!"

"Are you hurt?" The officer yelled down.

"No…but please…help me!"

As the police took over the scene, Vernon pulled back to the emaciated dog, pulled his knife from his pocket and cut the line as Patrick had asked him to do before this whole nightmare had begun. He smiled sadly seeing the dog try and lick at the corner of water bottle for substance, but unable to move, "Here ya go." He whispered softly squeezing water into the dogs mouth just as tenderly as his partner had not more than thirty minutes ago, "Let's get you checked out, huh?" he whispered hoarsely wondering if his partner would be making it, wondering if this dog would make it, wondering if the people in the cellar were gonna make it.

"You can't leave." An officer told him as he carried the animal to his Patrol truck.

"If I don't, this animal dies."

"We need information."

Vernon nodded to the logo on his truck, "I'm a city employee, I shouldn't be too hard to find, jackass."

"Hey-"

"No. You hey." Vernon snapped holding the dog's limp body in his arm, "Call me if you have questions, Pat asked me to remember the dog…that's what I'm doing."

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Cragen tossed another file onto his desk and reached for a Red Vine when his telephone rang, "Sunday." He shook his head, "You would think perps gave it a rest on Sunday." He muttered and picked up the phone, "Cragen."

Don couldn't see it, but he could certainly feel the color drain from his face as he fought for his voice, "Are you sure...What channel...NO! Do not talk to them, let me break this to them…they've been through enough. I should be the one to tell them." He swallowed and slowly hung up the phone.

He turned on the little television in his office, watched a reporter broadcast live from a house that looked like a makeshift prison as bomb squad members, fire trucks and police swarmed the area, he listened holding his breath as the reporter spoke…

'It's become apparent," she said into the camera, "and it has been just confirmed that there is an unidentified woman trapped in a makeshift dungeon…" before he could hear the rest he grabbed his bade and cell phone and tore through the bull pen, just as Fin and Mac were taking their seats at their desk.

"Get up!" Cragen yelled, "Let's go."

"We just inte-"

"Get the hell out of your seat, let's go!" Cragen barked again and led the team out of the bullpen.

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"So you're serious about this whole church thing, huh?" Alex asked Olivia as Robert and Elliot spoke of sports at the diner.

"Yeah." Olivia shrugged her shoulders, "It relaxes me."

"And it's fun!" Sam grinned, "You can come to Alex, but not to my class 'cause it's for kids, but you can go to mom's class…it's for grown ups."

"Oh." Alex raised her brows teasingly, "I didn't know, Mom had a _class_."

Olivia grinned, "Shut up."

"No." Alex smiled, "Do tell me about this class."

"Al." Robert scolded her, "Leave her alone."

"Hey," Alex nudged him with her elbow, "you just sit back and talk about Berry Bonds' steroid issues and let me torture my friend to the best of my ability, huh?"

Robert sighed and looked at Olivia "I tried Olivia, I did. But, ultimately, I've got to go home with the woman." He smiled and continued his conversation with Elliot.

"It's nothing." Olivia laughed dunking a chicken strip into some sauce, her free hand resting on Elliot's thigh.

"Mom likes it…it makes her smiled." Sam informed Alex as he took a sip of his milkshake. Olivia closed her eyes, being sold out by your own son, was almost humorous to her. "She almost has a whole Psalm memorized." He told Alex, "Almost…she has trouble with the last verses but I told her to keep trying because that's what Christoff told me to do."

"Thank. You. Sam." Olivia laughed and kissed the crown of his head.

Alex grinned, "I want to hear."

"No you don't." Olivia's eyes widened, "Mercy. I give. Uncle. Truce…whatever it is, just get me off the meat hook."

Alex rested her chin in her palm, "Nope…I want to hear."

"Al!" Robert shook his head, "You're being mean."

Elliot looked at Olivia and squeezed her hand softly.

"Come on, Mom." Sam tugged at her arm, "Let's show her." He smiled and started out, "He who dwells in the sacred place of the most high will rest in the shadow of the almighty…MOM! Come on!" He urged.

"Yeah, Mom." Alex smiled.

Olivia rolled her eyes and draped a hand around Sam's shoulder, "I will say of the Lord," She joined him, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust…"

Alex raised up a hand, and pulled her cell phone out of her purse, ducking her head to hide the sheen of tears from such an unfolding of innocence before her. "Hello, this is Alex…Don?"

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Fin shook his head at the site before him, "How long was she in here?"

Mac exhaled looking around inside the cellar, the stench of urine and fecal matter stinging his nostrils, "Hard to say…apparently he had the steps rigged. The bomb squad found a set up with a trip wire connected to a trigger of a thirty-eight…that's how that young kid was shot."

Fin exhaled, "He gonna make it?"

"Last I heard he's in surgery."

"You think they'll pull through this?"

"The woman…she's gonna probably messed up, no telling what he did to her…the other one, well, I'm not sure." Mac whispered.

Fin peered around the cellar with his flashlight, a mattress for a bed, a thin blanket, no light fixtures, what little food that was there had been consumed, water all but gone. Pictures of Olivia plastered everywhere on the walls, newspaper articles about her hung on the walls, "Elliot and Olivia are gonna loose their minds, when Cragen tells them this. They're not gonna be able to handle it."

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Everyone at the table stopped talking and stared at her in curiosity as Sam continued working on his milkshake.

"Yeah, they're both right here actually….uh huh…oh…okay." She hung up the phone slowly and tucked it in her purse. "That was Cragen."

"What's wrong?" Olivia furrowed her brow.

"He tried to call your phones for the last hour." She whispered keeping her head down.

Elliot pulled out his phone, "Ah." Groaned, "Dead battery."

"Mines at home." She muttered starring at Alex.

"What's the face for, Al?" Robert asked rubbing her back.

"Cragen…told me to tell you two to meet him at Memorial hospital."

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"Well aren't you Cherie." Warner rolled her eyes as Donovan walked in and placed a sandwich on her desk.

"A lovely sandwich for a lovely woman."

"Should I be concerned with poison…what's the matter with you? What's with the happy pants?"

Donovan grinned, "I've got your DNA back from the Ganzner stiff."

"Is that Roast Beef?" She smiled softly.

"You know it." He grinned and handed her the file.

She opened it and read it as she opened the sandwich, "What's with you being nice?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I'm a nice guy."

"Yeah." She chuckled and spoke around a mouthful of sandwich, "In a parallel universe…it's Sunday what the hell are you doing here?" she asked swallowing and turning the page to the file as she skimmed it.

"Just thought I'd come and bring you lunch."

"Liar." She shook her head re reading a paragraph, "What are you hear for, you have that stupid smile on your face…beat an Xbox game again?"

"Nope…talked to Olivia and Elliot Stabler."

She stopped chewing and looked up with wide eyes, "Really? How'd that go?"

He exhaled and shook his head, "Two of the most amazing people I have ever meant…the things I read in the paper about his temper and her trigger finger…they're nothing like it."

"Told you." She smiled, "Tell me you brought me a soda with this?"

He grinned and shook his head pulling a soda from a sac and opening the can before handing it to her, "She's good to her son…did you know she has a nine year old son?"

"Yeah…they just adopted him. I hear he's a good kid."

"He's funny…I met someone." He smiled.

Warner arched a brow, "Tell me your not talking about the kid…don't corrupt him with video games an-"

"No." He grinned, "Her name is Chloe Fairbanks…she's studying criminology, use to want to be a pathologist…gorgeous smile." He blushed.

"You're serious aren't you?"

"Yep." He grinned, "I had breakfast with her and her brother today."

"Her brother? Already meeting the family huh? You don't think it's a little premature for that?"

He chuckled, "It's not what you think…she's the guardian of him…she doesn't talk too much about it…but then it was only our first date."

"Is there gonna be a second?" Melinda asked flipping the page of the file again and narrowing her vision at the page.

"Tomorrow night." He waggled his brows, "She's very intelligent."

"Cant be too intelligent if she's going on a second date with you." She teased and winked.

"Funny…I like her."

"Well…when things get serious, I hope you let me meet her." Warner informed him, "Hey…where's the DNA sheet from the Johanna Little case?"

"Johanna little…I thought we changed that to a John Doe." He asked tilting his head in curiosity.

"Well, you obviously understood what I was asking for," Melinda forced a clam voice, "Do you remember if we kept it in our offices or sent it to head quarters?"

"It's here."

"Find it."

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Elliot pulled the SUV over to the curb in front of the hospital, "Whoa…this must be a high profile case...how many cops are actually here?" he asked looking around as Uniforms swarmed the entryway of the hospital.

"Geez," Olivia stepped out of the vehicle the soft wind blowing her summer dress tight against her belly, "it's like the whole force is here."

Elliot walked with her into the hospital stopping when they were approached immediately by a grey haired sergeant, "Are you Mr. and Mrs. Stabler?"

"We are." Elliot shook his head and furrowed his brow, "mind telling us why we're here?"

"I'm not sure." The officer replied, "All I know is that my orders, from Captain Cragen, are to escort you both to the forth floor to meet him."

"Do you suddenly feel like we're in the CIA?" Olivia arched a brow at Elliot who smiled softly as they stepped into the elevator and waited for the door to close.

Olivia rubbed her swelling belly as the elevator moved and caused a slight flutter in her belly. She breathed and concentrated her vision on the directory in the elevator reading the names of the doctors and what locations they were on until she came to the fourth floor. "Can you move please?" she whispered to the sergeant who looked at her oddly but stepped to the side as Olivia narrowed her vision at the word.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Why am I here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not supposed to be working…Cragen knows that…why am I here?" she whispered still starring at that single word.

"Would you like to go home?"

"Answer my question." She whispered rubbing her belly absently and sliding the monitor to her hip.

"I don't know…Cragen asked you to, I suppose."

"Why would he ask me to work when I'm not supposed to work?"

"Liv…what are you starring at?"

She exhaled, "Fourth floor," She pointed to the directory, "Is pediatrics."

Elliot stared at the directory and then to the officer, "What case is this?"

"I'm not at lib-"

Elliot pulled the officer by his jacket and slammed him into the elevator wall as the doors opened, "Tell me wh-"

"Elliot!" Cragen called him firmly, "Come here, both of you…we need to talk."

Elliot released him with a hard push as he and Olivia exited the elevator, "What's going on?" Olivia whispered, already having a sense that something was drastically wrong.

"Come with me." Cragen whispered and ushered them into a waiting, but before they entered Olivia looked to the end of the hall to see two uniforms standing at the door of a hospital room.

"What's with all the shields?" Olivia asked looking at all of the officers in the waiting room. She stood closer to Cragen, "Why is everyone looking at us?" Her voice started to give way to panic, "Some one tell me what's going on!"

"Olivia." Cragen motioned for her to sit, as Elliot sat next to her.

"Who's the vic?" Elliot asked, "Who's so important you have the whole force here?"

Cragen took a deep breath, "Today…two animal control officers were investigating a cruelty complaint when they stumbled onto something."

"What?" Elliot asked pulling out his notepad to start preparing a case.

"A cellar…a woman was locked inside of it."

Olivia winced, "Is she okay?"

"She's gonna live…but no, I assure you, she's not okay." Cragen responded, "There was someone else in the cellar with her."

"Who?" Elliot asked with furrowed brows.

"I wasn't sure at first." Cragen admitted, "When I came to the hospital, he was sleeping after they admitted him, but…he woke up and I saw his eyes, and I knew...Olivia, we found Isaac."

Olivia watched him in silence for what seemed like forever, she blinked, opened her mouth to speak but her voice was no where to be found until Elliot pulled her into an embrace and held her tight, a sob flowing from her lips that were curled into a smile. She pulled away from Elliot only to hug him tightly and kiss him frantically before turning to Cragen, "Can we see him? Where is he? We need to see him." She spoke so rushed she wasn't sure if she was taking in breath.

When Cragen tried warning her about Isaac's current condition, she had already stood to her feet, pulling Elliot up with her and making her way in an anxious run to the two officers at the door which promptly stood in her way.

"Move." Elliot barked.

"No, Sir. No one is allowed to-"

Elliot pulled his badge, "We're his parents get the hell out of our way." He told them wedging their way past them and into the room. Where three hospital beds that looked more like oversized hospital beds with bars all around, contained children with various ailments.

They looked frantically at charts for names stopping at the third one that read, "Baby Doe."

"Elliot!" She sobbed out in shock of her son and complete happiness that she was actually looking at him. He stood next to her, wrapped his arms around her as they both let tears flow at the sight of their son laying asleep, I.V's and monitors and sensors taped about his body. No clothes, just a diaper.

"He's gonna be okay." Cragen whispered standing behind them, "The doctor is here to speak to you two."

"Can we touch him?" Olivia asked through her tears, "Please can we touch him?"

The doctor smiled, "You can touch him, but please do not pick him up…he's very weak."

Elliot turned around at the sound of the doctor's voice an exhaled seeing it as the same doctor that had patronized he and Olivia each time they'd been to the hospital. Elliot turned back to his wife, ignoring the doctor and watching as she gently extended a shaking hand and was just about to caress her son's face when she withdrew and covered her hand with Elliot's. "He's right here." She whispered, "Our son…he's right here." She smiled gently touched Isaac's face with her fingertips, covered by Elliot's.

"He's beautiful." Elliot whispered tightening his arm around her waist, "He's so beautiful."

"He's alive." She whispered and swiped her tears as she ran her finger over tiny lips, watched as Elliot took hold of Isaac's hand and Isaac grasped him in his sleep, just as he'd done as an infant.

She turned and faced Elliot, her forehead against his shoulder, "Our son is home." She cried, "Thank you, God, our son is home." She cried into Elliot's arms and he kissed her forehead and cried, a gentle laugh, "Yeah, he's home…Isaac is finally home."

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"Your son." The doctor smiled sitting behind his desk as Elliot and Olivia filled the seats across from him, "Is about as stubborn as you two are."

Olivia swiped her tears and laughed before crying again, tears that flowed completely from happiness, relief and pure joy, "He is?" she asked almost hopeful that he inherited their stubbornness.

"Yep…that little guy had some close calls." The doctor told them softly, "His electrolytes are very unstable right now, he's severely dehydrated and looks like he might have been without food for at least a week, water for maybe a day or two…it's hard to say."

"They didn't feed him?" Elliot asked hinging on sheer outrage.

"I'm not exactly sure, you're captain can fill you in on that side, but I can tell you that he's very light sensitive…he'll grow out of it, rather quickly but it's important to keep that in mind it doesn't look like he was in the sun too much. It's gonna be difficult for him, he'll have to start slow with food, were gonna keep him for a few days because he was admitted unconscious."

"What?" Olivia shook her head in shock, "What happened?"

"Olivia…not having food or water, being locked in a cellar in late June for days on end, his little body took a beating, and I should tell you that someone up there really like you guys." He said pointing to an imaginary heaven, "Because, by all rights, your son, should be in a coma…or worse."

Olivia held onto Elliot's hand tightly, "Can we stay with him tonight? Please."

"I'm sor-"

"Doctor," Elliot wiped the moisture from his eyes, "We haven't seen our son for thirteen months…please let us be with him."

The doctor exhaled, "One at a time, but I'm sorry, I still can't let you hold him."

Elliot stood with his wife to return to their son, "Thank you." He whispered.

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"He's so big." Olivia smiled peering into the hospital crib and leaning against Elliot.

"I remember when I could hold him on my forearm and bathe him." He whispered, "Now, he's so long."

"He's gonna be tall." She whispered through a smile, "Like his daddy."

"Sam's gonna be so happy." Elliot told her, kissing her through her hair, "He's gonna loose his mind with happiness that we found Isaac."

"He's been praying about it for so long." Olivia chuckled, "I'd hear him at night."

"Really?" Elliot smiled against her cheek, a tender kiss lingering over her flesh.

"Yeah…since the day he found out."

"Excuse me?" A nurse entered quietly carrying a cot, "We only have this one…it's not common practice let people stay over night, but the doctor said he owed it to you guys." She smiled and unfolded the cot, "You'll have to be a bit quiet for the other's and I hope you're not really planning on sleeping, because the nurses will be here frequently." She chuckled and stood next to the crib looking down at Isaac, "He's an amazing little boy…very strong, very stubborn." She smiled, "He's gonna be fine." She whispered rubbing Olivia's shoulder gently, "Can I do anything for you two."

"No." Olivia smiled touching the woman's hand, "Thank you though. I think we just want to stay with him."

"Okay." She shook her head, "Let me know if you need anything…food, drink…anything, alright?"

"Thank you." Elliot smiled and returned to his son as the nurse slipped out of the room.

"Do you remember when you first saw him?" Olivia asked softly.

"How could I forget?" He grinned holding her, "He was this tiny little man."

"We missed thirteen months." She whispered leaning her head against his chest, "That's a long time."

"We've got our whole lives to spend with him." He whispered, "Our whole lives, we'll see him on his first day of school, on his graduation, college….married with his own kids." Elliot smiled, "Our grandkids."

She chuckled, "Way to make me feel old, El…but I would have it any other way."

Elliot kissed her gently on her cheek, "I'm gonna go home and pi-"

"No!" she hissed and pulled him back to her, wrapping him in a tight hug, "No…please? Were finally all together…please don't leave?" She whispered.

"Oh, Liv." He smiled against her hair, "I was gonna go home and get you some sleep clothes and some stuff we need if were gonna camp out here."

"No." She shook her head against his chest, "No. Please stay with us…Casey and Alex has keys to our house, I don't want us to be away from him again, please?"

He kissed her head softly, "Okay, I'll call Casey and ask her to bring some stuff for us, and then I'll call Alex and see if they can keep Sam overnight."

"Thank you." She whispered pulling away and kissing him gently, sipping tenderly on his bottom lips before caressing the back of his neck and deepening the kiss. Her tongue stroking his, her lips soft against his, his hands at her waist, hers trailing everywhere. She smiled softly and released him, "I love you."

He grinned and kissed her again, "I love you, too."

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"Olivia?" Casey whispered peeking into the hospital room.

Olivia wiped the moisture from her face and smiled, "Hi."

"Hey…Elliot called, I gathered some stuff for you…I'm so happy for you right now I could cry." She told her embracing her warmly.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her and sniffled, "I've been crying since I've got here…could use the company."

Casey let out a chuckle and cried with her friend, "I'm so happy for you Olivia. I called Paul as soon as I heard and he canceled his business meeting in San Diego to come back, he's ecstatic." She cried again, gave a gentle squeeze and released Olivia who immediately returned to the side of the crib.

"He's been asleep since we got here; the doctor's said his body needs to catch up with what's happening." Olivia whispered, "Come see him." She motioned for Casey to step closer.

Casey peered into the crib at the sleeping form, tiny lips twitching, "He's gorgeous." Casey whispered rubbing Olivia's shoulders, "Your son is absolutely gorgeous."

Olivia grinned and reached down to stroke his face, "Thank you….speaking of son's, where's Addy?"

"Elliot has him in the hall."

"Oh." Olivia smiled knowing Elliot had sent Casey in alone so they could be alone, friend to friend. "Thank you, Case."

"Thank you?" Casey furrowed her brow, "For what?"

"For sticking this out with us…I know…I know I can be harsh at time, and I'm-"

"If you apologize," Casey held up her hand, "I will drag you out of this room and beat the snot out of you."

Olivia grinned and wrapped her arms around her, freely crying, "Thank you so much, Casey. You have no idea how much you got us through this."

Casey squeezed her back and fought her tears, "I thought I added to it." She whispered, "and I'm still sorry I-"

"I'll beat the snot out of you if you finish that apology." Olivia laughed before they both separated with sheepish giggles as they wiped their tears.

"I didn't really know what to grab for you guys, so I grabbed what I thought were pajama's, your toothbrushes, yadie yadie yada." She smiled and looked back at the crib, "I'm going to go so your husband can get back in here and be with his family." She smiled and gave another hug, "I have to pick up Paul from the airport late tonight…how long will Isaac be in the hospital?"

"A few days." Olivia informed her, "But please…bring Paul by tomorrow morning…I think it would be good for him to see Isaac."

"Actually," Casey exhaled, "I think it would mess Paul up, seeing him in the hospital, do you mind if we wait until Isaac comes home? I'll swing by tomorrow if you'll have me, and I know that Paul wants to call you and Elliot…is that okay?"

Olivia grinned walking her to the door, "It's absolutely okay, but if Paul wants to come in the morning…will you tell him it would be fine by us?"

"Sure thing." Casey smiled and opened the door, a quick trading of words with Elliot, a warm embrace and she was gone with her son.

"Hey." Elliot grinned, "How's my son?"

"He's still sleeping." Olivia spoke softly as they took up chairs next to the crib, "Do you think he'll recognize us when he wakes up?" she asked resting her head on his shoulder.

"Honestly…I don't know. He's been away for awhile." He whispered, "But, we have lots of time to let him know that we're his parents and we love him and we missed him like crazy."


	24. Chapter 24 Returned

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 24 Returned

A/N: Alright, I give…here's your fluff.

"El," Olivia whispered turning carefully on the small cot that they lay tangled on, "wake up, please?"

"I'm awake." He smiled nuzzling into her neck, "I'm too wired to sleep."

"Me too." She whispered kissing him softly on the mouth, "I can't believe Isaac is five feet away from us." She smiled, "He's right here."

Elliot grinned, "I can't explain to you…how happy I am that we're gonna be able to take him home, that we're gonna be able to hold him, and feed him, and bathe him."

"I'm excited to see how Sam interacts with him, I think Sam is gonna take his responsibility as big brother very serious." She chuckled and rested her hand on his side, "I love you." She whispered and kissed his chest through his shirt.

"Well, looks like two people broke the 'one at a time' rule." A nurse called into the room.

Both Olivia and Elliot sat up quickly with apologetic looks on their face, "Ah, don't worry about it." The nurse laughed softly, "I won't tell if you won't tell."

"Thank you." Olivia smiled appreciatively and tucked her tussled hair behind her ear.

"We appreciate it." Elliot assured her standing to his feet and helping Olivia up from the cot.

"Well," The nurse looked at her watch and smiled, "the medicine should be wearing off soon, and your little one will be awake…would you like to help with the changing and feeding?"

"Yes!" Olivia's eyes went wide, "Yes, please…can we really do that? The doctor said we couldn't hold him, that he was weak."

The nurse picked up Isaac's file from the end of the crib and flipped it open, "Nope, the doctor made the notation to ask that you be able to help with his care, and if all goes well, he can go home tonight or possibly tomorrow morning."

"Really?" Elliot grinned peering down into the crib, "He can come home with us tonight?"

"It's a possibility, but we'll have to wait and see…he didn't come to us in real good shape…he's very lucky, but his vitals are strong and he seems to be doing well…at least on the computer screens, we'll wait until he wakes up to really assess how he's doing."

"Thank you." Olivia grinned and then narrowed her vision at Isaac's file, "Can I see that please?"

"Sure." The nurse shrugged and passed it to Olivia who ran her fingers over the label on the outside, _Baby Doe_. She exhaled, and looked back at the nurse, "Do you by chance have a pen?"

"How about a sharpie?" The nurse winked understanding exactly what Olivia wanted to do, she handed the pen to her and smiled softly as Olivia blacked out the words _Baby Doe_ and replaced them with _Isaac Reagan Stabler_.

"No more Baby Doe." Olivia grinned handing the file and pen back to the nurse who simply smiled back at her.

"My shift ends in an hour…but don't worry, the next nurse is amazing and she has a lot of experience with some of the things Isaac is dealing with, but in the meantime… can I get you two something to eat or drink?"

"I'm fine." Elliot smiled, "But, my wife may need some food." He chuckled rubbing her belly form behind, "I got two more coming."

"Uh oh." The nurse laughed and watched Olivia blush, "Proud Papa Syndrome huh?"

"You have no idea." Olivia smiled and then suddenly steeled when she heard a soft murmur from Isaac's crib. She and Elliot cautiously made their way to the crib to see their son stirring awake. "Can I pick him up?" Olivia whispered almost in shock that her son would be waking up, that she would look into his eyes for the first time in far too long.

"Give him a couple of seconds to get use to his surroundings and if he starts to get fussy, sure pick him up." The nurse encouraged.

"Will he remember us?" Elliot asked softly, seeing that Isaac clicked his tongue in his sleep, opened his eyes for a small second and simply closed them again.

The nursed exhaled, "I'm sorry to say that at first glance, he may not…but give him time, there is nothing stronger than the bond between child and parent, especially the mother….I'll tell you what, Mr. Stabler, why don't you come with me and we'll get everything we'll need to get him ready this morning, huh?"

"Mind?" Elliot asked Olivia softly.

"No, I don't mind." She answered and returned to the nurse's gaze, "If he should decide to wake up and your not here…can I-"

"Yep, just be careful of the I.V." she cautioned her and walked out with Elliot following her lead.

Olivia sat slowly in the makeshift rocking chair, leaning forward and watching her son between the slats of the crib, he had her nose, Elliot's strong jaw, and her skin tone. She waited anxiously for him to wake up. She wanted to know if his eyes had changed or if they were still those Elliot blues with her chocolate specs. She wanted to hear his voice, wanted to know if it was deep like Elliot's, playful and low like hers or if it was entirely his own, like his blond hair.

She smiled and watched him roll onto his side, his eyes moving frantically under young lids until they slowly rose and revealed beautiful blues with specs of his mother. Isaac clicked his tongue, blinked hard and closed his eyes again for a short time, before opening them once more. Blamelessness staring into Gratefulness as Olivia caught the sob in her throat, "Hey, there." She whispered and swiped at her tears, "Nice to see you." She smiled and stood over the crib extending her hands to pick up her son.

In a moment her heart broke all over again when he peered back up at her in fear and began to cry uncontrollably. The pitch of his scream caused her to straighten and take a panicked step back, her brows furrowed in horror that her son didn't recognize her, that his first emotion when he woke up was sheer fear…of her.

"Shh." She tried to sooth him as she backed away, "I'm sorry Baby, shh."

"What's wrong?" The nurse came in and rushed to the crib, "What happened?" she asked as Elliot pulled Olivia close.

"He's scared of me." She whispered and sobbed into Elliot's chest, "El, he doesn't recognize me."

Elliot held her close and watched as the nurse gently picked up their son and held him close, cooing him into relaxation, "It's okay." The nurse turned to Olivia and Elliot, "Hey," She smiled at Olivia and reached out to touch her arm softly, "He's scared of the situation…not necessarily scared of you…hold him."

"I don't," Olivia shook her head and hid into Elliot's chest, "I don't want to upset him, and I don't want to stress him out." She said pawing at her tears.

"Liv," Elliot whispered, "its okay, take him, he's just a little scared of the surroundings, take him, it'll be okay, I'll hold him with you." He assured her.

"It's okay, most children wake up in the hospital scared." The nurse assured her, "It's okay, hold your son."

Olivia exhaled and extended delicate arms as the nurse placed her son within. She brought him close to her body, adjusted him so he lay in her arms, "Hello, baby boy." She whispered stroking blond hair from his forehead, "I've missed you so much."

Elliot stood behind her and peered down over her shoulder "Hey, Rookie." He sniffled, "So good to see you again…I thought about you everyday, Son." He confessed and rested his chin on Olivia's shoulder as he ran a gentle finger over Isaac's brow, "He still has your nose."

"Did you think he would loose it?" Olivia chuckled softly and sniffled, "I can't believe I'm holding him."

"I'm…he's so perfect." Elliot whispered.

"He probably needs to be changed." The nurse whispered softly.

"Can I do it?" Olivia asked with a grin, "Please?"

"Absolutely." The nurse smiled, and nodded for Olivia to follow her to the changing table, "Keep in mind…he might get a little fussy, just work with him and be gentle, and patient."

"Okay." Olivia agreed and laid him gently onto the changing table and smiled down at him.

"Here." Elliot handed her a diaper, "Looks like he's grown into the next size…the next couple of sizes actually."

Olivia changed him careful of his I'V as she watched curious eyes roam about the room and lock on Elliot's. She fastened the new pamper and grinned when a small smile drew across Isaac's face as he watched his father over Olivia's shoulder, "He's smiling." Olivia laughed, "Look at that grin."

"Like his mother's." Elliot whispered and kissed her cheek tenderly, "I love you."

She looked up and smiled, "I love you too…immensely."

"Alright." The nurse interrupted, "Here are some clothes for him this little tee buttons on the sleeve for the I.V, you'll still have to be careful of it, but they should fit, and here is a bottle."

"A bottle?" Elliot asked in confusion, "He's almost two."

"His stomach is going to be sensitive and actually, some kids his age still take a bottle, he'll be fine, we'll move him up to food slowly so we can see how he's responding…I've got to make my rounds…enjoy him, be patient with him, and have fun getting to know your son again." She grinned and offered a bow of her head before leaving the room.

"Can I dress him?" Elliot asked with a smile.

"Yeah." Olivia grinned and chuckled holding up the clothes Elliot and the nurse brought back, "These are the tiniest boxers I've ever seen."

"Yeah." Elliot laughed taking the boxers in hand, "They have this little room with clothes for the kids, I saw them and thought he could be like his ol' man."

"El," Olivia grinned wrapping her arms around Elliot's waist and peering over his shoulder as he slipped the mini boxers over Isaac's pamper, "we're completely not ready for him, we've got to shop for clothes, a bed…he needs a car seat and he needs-"

Elliot laughed, "Calm down." He told her picking up their son and turning to face her, "We'll get it…we just have to catch up…it'll be fine."

"I'm not worried." She whispered through a grin, her hand caressing his neck and pulling him gently down to her lips, grazing his softly, "I'm completely excited about it."

He smiled, "I bet he's hungry." He whispered and placed Isaac gently into her arms, "Take a seat, and feed our son." He laughed handing her the bottle as she sat carefully in the rocking chair.

"Want this?" She asked playfully holding the bottle in front of Isaac to which he reached up with big eyes and pulled the bottle into his eager mouth. She was a little hurt that he didn't need her to hold the bottle for him, but that quickly changed when he nuzzled close to her, rested one hand on her ribs and pressed the bottle with his hand into the curvature of her breast. She ducked her head and kissed his forehead softly, "Welcome home, Isaac."

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Olivia watched as the sun faded away into night time and her son lay sleeping in the hospital crib. She grinned quietly, happy that she'd had the opportunity to feed her son, to watch her husband dress him and tend to him in the afternoon.

"Someone is here to see you." Elliot whispered.

"Did she bring Sam?"

"No, sorry, I asked her not to…I think since Sam hates the hospital, he might be more comfortable meeting Isaac at home…I did talk to him though."

"How is he?"

"He's got big plans for Isaac." Elliot grinned, "He said, and I quote, 'since my room is so big and the carpet is soft, I want to share my room with Isaac and my baby brother', I asked him how on earth we could fit four little boys in his room since there would be twins, to which he said-"

"A boy and a girl." Olivia laughed softly, "He's not budging."

"I told him we're having boys." Elliot smiled.

"No wonder he's confused, I tell him we're having girls…I guess he's finding a happy medium." She grinned.

"I'll go get Alex, I was gonna get some dinner too while you both talked…anything you'd like?"

"Mmm, surprise me?"

Elliot tipped her chin up softly and meshed his lips to hers, tickling their seam with his tongue until she parted them with a soft smile, tongues caressing one another as he tangled his hand in her hair and sipped from her bottom lip, a playful nip before pulling back to look at her, "I love you."

She beamed, "What was that for?"

"You told me to surprise you."

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"Olivia?" Alex called gently into the room and grinned watching Olivia peer down into the crib.

"Alex!" Olivia held out her arms and hugged her friend tightly, "Thank you for coming! Where's Robert?"

Alex laughed softly at the woman in front of her, "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time, and Robert took Sam out for ice cream, you have a very excited son waiting at my house for you."

"How did you guys tell him?"

"We didn't…Elliot did, it wasn't our place."

Olivia laughed, "You guys are too good to us…come on, I want you to see my son." She smiled and led Alex to the crib, "He ate like a miniature horse today." Olivia smiled and then frowned, "They didn't take care of him."

"Hey," Alex wrapped her arm around Olivia's shoulders, "don't think about that stuff right now, just enjoy the fact that he's home…you and Elliot will have time to process all the other stuff, but right now, let this be about you and your son."

Olivia smiled, "Your right."

"Of course I am."

"You're cocky too." Olivia grinned and squeezed her around the waist.

"Never said I wasn't." Alex winked and then looked down at the sleeping boy, "How was he…other than the eating?"

"At first, he was scared, but," Olivia smiled, "He curled up to me and ate just like he always did; only…he holds his own bottle now." She chuckled, "He's a little man."

"He's adorable…you have to blond boys, Olivia…sure you and the milk man didn-"

"Alex!" Olivia hissed through a grin, "Look at that face," She whispered stroking her son's cheek with the back of her hand, "He's all Stabler."

"Which means, you've got the 'terrible twos' coming around the corner…with twins on the way, that's a whole lot of Stabler Stubbornness." She teased.

Olivia grinned, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"When do you guys get to take him home?"

"Well," Olivia exhaled, "They thought maybe tonight, but his blood work came back a little shaky so, they said they'll try for tomorrow."

"How are the nurses? Do I need to recite some legal mumble jumble to get things moving around here?"

"No." Olivia chuckled, "Actually the nurses are very good here, they've let Elliot and I sleep in the room to stay with him, they've brought us food and helped us out with Isaac, they're very good women."

"Good." Alex rubbed her shoulders and squeezed her in a half hug, "I'm gonna go so you and Elliot can have more time with the little guy, but when he comes home and you all are adjusted…Robert and I have already talked to Paul and Casey and were throwing you the biggest damn celebration party you've ever seen."

Olivia laughed, "thank you, but you guys don-"

"We're gonna, and your gonna love it!" Alex arched her brows daring her to offer a rebuttal.

Olivia shook her head, "Okay…but it might take awhile, we're completely unprepared for him."

"I know you are." Alex grinned and picked up a paper sac, "which is why Robert and I took Sam shopping today and we picked up a few things for you guys, just some clothes and what not to tie you over until you can head to the store."

"Oh, Alex…thank you so much, how much do we-"

"I swear if you ask how much you owe me I'm gonna shove these sponge bob pajama's right down your throat!" she teased, "Sam insisted on Sponge Bob…said every man has to have Sponge Bob." She smiled, "And the pink polo…well, Robert said he wanted to give Elliot a heart attack."

Olivia laughed, "Elliot is so elated that I don't think anything could bother him right now, I think maybe now is the time I should ask him if we can buy that new flat screen television."

"Hey, milk it for what its worth." Alex winked, "I'm gonna go…Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm very happy for you." Alex whispered, "You're a good mom."

Olivia saw the slight hurt in Alex's eyes, "Hey," she smiled and hugged her tight, "You're gonna make a great mom too someday, and let's face it, Sam is obsessed with you and I'm sure Isaac will adore you." She assured her separating and rubbing her belly, "And if that's not enough, I've got two more coming that you can brain wash into thinking you're the coolest person in the world."

Alex laughed and shook her head as she opened the door to leave, "Hey," she said over her shoulder, "For the record…I am the coolest person in the world."

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Olivia picked Isaac up out of the crib before his crying could get any louder and attempted to sooth him immediately by sitting in the rocker and rubbing his back, but after several minutes, when there was no let up to his crying she shifted his body over to her shoulder, moved her monitor to her other hip so his legs could stretch a little longer, "Are you wet?" she asked softly not really expecting a reply since he was changed just an hour ago. "You just ate, Honey…why are you upset?" she whispered gently and began a soft hum as she rocked, "You are my sunshine," she began to sing, "My only sunshine…"

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Elliot opened the door to the hospital room softly and smiled seeing his wife rocking his son gently, singing a lullaby that hadn't graced her lips since they day he was taken from them. He watched as his son calmed almost immediately in his mother's arms, tiny hands draped around her neck.

"Hi." He whispered kissing her head softly, "I brought you some Thai food."

"Thai?" she smiled, "We haven't had Thai, since-"

"Since our tenth date when I got food poisoning…rest assured it's from a different restaurant." He smiled and unpacked the food.

"You missed work for a week." She grinned at the memory, "I hated working without you, I always have, do you know that?" she asked softly.

Elliot laughed and pulled a Kleenex from the near by box, "Not nearly as much as I hate you not being by my side to give the perps that death glare." He assured her lightly wiping the drool from a now sleeping Isaac, "I think he remembers that lullaby."

She laced her fingers with his as he stood over her and their son, she closed her eyes a small smile on her lips, "I love you."

He kissed her temple, "Let me put him to bed so you can eat?"

"Please?" she agreed and let him take Isaac back to the crib, a delicate kissed placed on his sleeping form before lowering him to safety.

"Whoa, wait for me." Elliot smiled turning to see that Olivia had already dug in, "Sorry, Isabel and Lily, are starving."

"Yeah well, you tell Luke and Isaiah to calm down." He teased and sat to eat with his wife, "Have you thought of any other names?"

"Actually I have…but, I don't know if you'll like it." She shrugged and looked at the sac, "What about liquids? You got anything to drink in there?" she teased.

"Of course…I have this massive ice tea, but only if you tell me the name you had in mind."

"Oh, bribery, nice." She grinned, "I was thinking about the name Malachi."

"Oh, so you admit we're having boys?"

"No…It's a unisex name."

"Malachi…for a girl?"

"Yep…Kye for a nick name." She smiled.

"I tell you what," Elliot smirked, "Since I know we're having boys, you can go ahead and choose that name. You name one of the babies, and I'll name one of the babies."

"Whoa," She laughed, "there had better be some serious guidelines."

"Like what?"

"Like, don't name our kids after a fruit or car, I don't want any Mercedes Apples running around the house." She grinned taking another bite of her food, "So good!" she laughed, "I can't believe you remember this."

"You make a sound when you eat this food."

"Huh?" She arched her brow.

"Yeah, it's sexy." He grinned, "It's like a hum."

"I do not."

"Oh yes you do." He grinned, "Believe me…why do you think I never took you out for Thai food again while we were dating?"

"I thought because you got sick and you were being a chicken."

"No." He grinned, "If I had to sit across from a table and watch you eat and make that sound after each bite, I would have had to make love to you right then and there."

"Ah," She laughed, "Self preservation."

"Something like that." He agreed and opened her ice tea before passing it to her.

"Thank you for bringing it to me." She said lowly and arched her brows suggestively, "were you hoping to get lucky?"

"No." he said gruffly leaning on his elbow, "But I am planning on torturing you with as much foreplay as possible until you're begging me to make love to you."

Olivia's jaw went slack, "Oh."

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"Rise and shine." Dr. Wesson smiled shaking Olivia's shoulder.

She jumped slightly until her eyes focused on the doctor she nudged Elliot, "Wake up, Dr. Wesson's here."

Elliot rubbed his eyes, scrubbed his hands over his stubbled beard, "Hello." He croaked and looked towards the window seeing that the son was barely peeking over the city, "Sorry, I know we broke the rules, we just don't want to be away from him."

"Don't worry about it; actually I came to tell you guys to pack up."

"Excuse me?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "Please, we need to stay with him."

"No." The doctor shook his head, "You need to take him home."

"Really?" Elliot grinned.

"Yes, really, I told the nurse to call me when his lab work came back, he's good to go, and I wanted you to take him home before the sun rises…you're gonna have to acclimate him to the sun, he's not use to it, try about ten minutes a day for a week and then work it up slowly, remember to go easy on the foods, keep up with the pedialyte and special formula from the pharmacy and that little guy should be running around your house breaking things and coloring on walls in no time at all."

Olivia and Elliot laughed softly and watched as two nurses came in and carefully removed Isaac's I.V and placed socks on his feet, "The paperwork is at the front desk, there was a problem with your insurance-"

"What problem?" Elliot furrowed his brow.

"Well, it looks like Isaac was removed from your plan. I placed a call to your captain who contacted human resources and they faxed over the information, so if you should happen to get a bill from the hospital just double check with your insurance and make sure everything is going okay, and we want to see Isaac back in a week to see how he's doing."

"Thank you." Olivia grinned looking at her son.

"We don't have a car seat." Elliot muttered.

"Actually you do." The doctor smiled and pulled a note pad from his pocket, "A detective Tutu…Tarantula….no, toalla…a detective dropped one off for you."

"Tutuola?"

"Yeah…I think that was his name."

"Why didn't he come in?" Olivia asked Elliot.

"He said he wanted to give you guys time alone but he had brought it by yesterday afternoon and I forgot to tell you, we had an emergency, and one thing led to another, I apologize. "

"Don't." Elliot smiled, "And please don't take this the wrong way, but I think we're gonna grab our son and leave."

"By all means," The doctor smiled, "Get the hell out of here."

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Elliot strapped his sleeping son into the backseat of the car and climbed into the driver's seat to see that Olivia had lowered the visor and positioned the mirror so she could watch Isaac sleep. He took her hand and held it as they pulled away from the hospital.

"We're gonna have so many car seats in this car." She chuckled squeezing his hand. "Sam is gonna go nuts with Isaac and then Malachi and Isabel."

"You're really sticking to that name, huh?"

"Maybe." She grinned at him and returned to look at the mirror, "He really is a perfect little boy."

"Sam and Isaac." Elliot laughed, "Luke and Isaiah…you've got a lot of testosterone to deal with."

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"Is he to big for the crib?" Elliot frowned holding his son and debating rather or not to place him in the crib.

"No, I don't think so, but…can he sleep with us? Just until later in the day, when we can call everyone and tell them he's home."

"I was hoping you'd ask that." Elliot smiled and let her lead the way back to their room, "Jump in the shower, I'll tuck him in." he instructed and gently pulled the covers back and laid his son in the middle of the bed before covering his body and kissing his forehead gently, "I missed you, Son, welcome home." He whispered and retreated to the bathroom.

"Hey," he grinned seeing his wife in her bra and jeans. A steam building from the running shower, "you look so sexy." He whispered caressing her belly.

"Who knew," she laughed covering his hands and sinking into his embrace, "that I could be four months pregnant and still have my husband drooling over me."

"Liv, I hate to break it to you, but you could have an elephant in there and I'd still drool over you." He informed her with a wink as they watched each other in the mirror.

She reached up and touched his fuzzy face, "Are you happy, El?"

"As a Lark on speed." He laughed and kissed her neck, "Are you happy?"

"So much so, I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up and this won't be real." She whispered.

He moved her hair to the side exposing the back of her neck as he ran the tip of his tongue along her flesh, "Let me give you something to make it real." He whispered, sucking softly on her flesh as he unclasped her bra and delicately slid the fabric from her shoulders, "You're the single most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life." He whispered, casting the garment to the side and gently reaching around her body to caress her breast softly in his hands, "Are you sore?"

"Yeah," she whispered, "but if you're soft…" she gasped at the warmth of his touch and decided to enjoy rather than caution. He journeyed down her spine, tongue tasting, lips caressing, as his hands massaged her breast and he kneeled behind her, sucking gently just above her waistband and walking his fingers slowly down the front of her body, smiling at her delicate moans of enjoyment as she held onto the countertop for fear she may just collapse from the sensation of his mouth on her body, "El?"

"Yeah?" he whispered over her skin.

"Whatever you're doing…" she panted lightly as his fingers slowly unbuttoned her jeans.

"Yeah?"

"Don't stop." She groaned and hung her head watching his fingers unzip her jeans from behind. Slowly, torturously and just enough that she could feel the vibration of each tooth of the zipper being set free, "Your killing me." She whispered and moved her hands to rush him.

"Don't." he hissed, "Or I'll stop." He warned, placing an open mouth kiss on her side.

She withdrew her hands instantly and grinned as he teasingly pulled her pants and panties down, making sure to trail his finger tips over the globe of her derriere, "Have I told you how much I enjoy this?" he whispered kissing the flesh of her backside softly, and dragging his tongue along the curves smiling at her moans.

He stood slowly, trailing light fingertips over the front of her calves, up her inner thighs, avoiding the juncture of her thighs by tracing the line of her hips and making his way to her breasts, cupping them gently, "You're getting bigger."

"Twins," She groaned at his touch, "of course I'm gonna have a huge belly."

He laughed softly and nibbled her ear lobe turning her to face him, he smirked seductively, rubbed his bearded cheek over her smooth jaw, down her neck, kissing the center of her chest, "I wasn't talking about your belly." He whispered flicking his tongue out lightly over her nipple and swirling until she arched back, supported her body by leaning on her hands behind her.

"So good." She muttered, "Feels so good."

He smiled against the flesh of her breast, raised his head to kiss her as he trailed his index finger down her abdomen, stopping at her naval and biting gently on her lip, releasing when he stroked her core and she hissed in air, pulling her head back and moaning as he ran a lazy circle around her swelling nerves. "Liv?"

"No talking." She panted and tiptoed herself onto the counter opening the cradle of her thighs and pulling him close.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and rubbed his bulging erection against her, smiling at her sharp intake of air, "Do you want me, Liv?" He asked in a gruff voice.

She moaned softly at the sensation, "You have no idea."

He grinned moved his hips quickly away and gave her a chaste kiss, "Good, I'll see what I can do when that monitor comes off."

She arched her brows and stared at him in shock, "No. You. Didn't."

He smiled, cupped her breast and rubbed his thumb over her nipple as he whispered in pure sex, "I told you, Olivia. I'm going to torture you with so much foreplay…you're not gonna be able to see straight."

She blushed, "El-"

"Hey," He raised his hands and grinned, "I got a shower to take before I rack out."

"Jacked up, Stabler." She huffed but couldn't hide the smile.

"Believe me." He whispered, "You'll thank me after you scream my name."

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Elliot kept a close eye on his watch, knowing he could only stand outside with his son in his arms for six more minutes. "You're big." Elliot whispered leaning against the banister of the deck, "You have your mother's eye lashes…so long." He told him softly and watched as the little boy fought sleep. They'd brought him home that morning just before six O'clock in the morning and he had slept the majority of the day and ate the remainder of it, pausing only to be changed and held.

Olivia lay in bed exhausted and dead to the world but Elliot knew in the back of his mind that she was also giving him his own time to be with his son alone, his own time to digest the fact that this was reality, they had their son back and they would spend the rest of their lives making up for the time they lost. "You have the coolest brother." Elliot assured Isaac as his eye lids became heavier, "He's gonna love you, and we loved you, so all I can tell you is that for now on, no matter where you look there will always be someone to love you." He whispered and started to cry softly as he held his son, "no more dark rooms, no more days without food, because you're home with us now."

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"Hey," Elliot whispered into Olivia's ear as she slept, "Wake up, sleepy head."

"Hmm." She groaned and opened one eye to see that he was holding Isaac. She grinned instantly, watching four blue eyes stare back at her, "What's up?" she asked groggily, "He okay?"

"He's perfect…we need to make a pamper run, want to come?"

She sat up and smiled, "Absolutely."

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"What size do you think he wears now?" Elliot asked looking at the selection of pampers as he held his son in his arms, his head resting against his shoulders and his eyes silently following Olivia like they did the day they walked together in the park.

Olivia raised her brows and tilted her head at the selection, "I don't know." She frowned, "El, who doesn't know the size of the pamper their son wears?" she exhaled in frustration.

He wrapped his free arm around her waist, "don't go there. Let's just enjoy this right now." He whispered, "We don't know, because they took him from us, we have some learning to do, but we love each other, and we have friends that I know will bend over backwards to help us." He assured her.

She exhaled, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be…but let's get him some pampers and some other stuff to get us by for now and then when we have time and you feel comfortable enough to go out without him, we'll do the hard shopping."

"Alex gave us some clothes, a pair of pajamas and some overalls, a couple of shirts." She informed him, "but I agree, we need more to get him through."

"Good." Elliot smiled, "Want to hold him?"

"Please?" She smiled and then broke into a full grin when Isaac willingly raised his arms for her to take him. "Hi." She whispered as he quietly rested his head on her shoulders, "El?"

"Yeah?" he asked reading the sizing chart on the bag of huggies.

"Has he said anything at all?" she furrowed her brow.

"Not a peep." Elliot sighed finally selecting the right pack and placing several into the cart, "But, like the nurse said, he needs to get use to everything, and let's face it, he's still very young, he shouldn't be reciting poetry or anything like that." He smiled, and winked, "He'll start making all kinds of noise when he's good and ready."

"Yeah." She agreed and walked alongside Elliot stroking Isaac's back softly, "Get him that." She smiled and pointed to a package of sippie cups on the shelve, "When we first had Isaac, I was so excited about sippie cups, and now he's old enough to use them, get them, please?"

Elliot laughed, "Color?"

"Um, I don't know. Get both." She laughed.

"Done." Elliot smiled and tossed them into the basket, "He needs baby food, huh?"

"Yeah, but the doc said keep him on the stuff they gave him first."

"Okay, well, since we're here." Elliot smiled and took a small jar from the shelf, "How do you feel about stringed vegetables?"

"Sounds gross…get a jar." She laughed and watched as Elliot happily chose a selection of this and that. "What about Rice Cereal? Is he too old for that?" she asked then huffed, "Ah, this is confusing…I'm still thinking of him as a seven month old…I'm not sure what to do here." She shook her head.

"Hey," Elliot kissed her temple, "We'll figure it out, we just got to read a lot of instructions on these boxes is all." He teased. But, within a manner of several minutes they'd managed to get what they needed and move along to the clothing section.

"Shoes." Olivia smiled, "He needs shoes."

"I knew you'd think of the shoes." Elliot laughed and held her free and in his as he pulled the basket at his side, "You pick the shoes and I'll look around for some clothes, huh?"

"Okay." She agreed and perused the tiny shoes in front of her. After several minutes she'd managed to grab two pair she knew would fit and place them in the basket, shocked to see Elliot dump an arm load of items in the basket, "Whoa," She chuckled, "I leave you alone for ten minutes and you buy out the whole store."

He grinned, "Look, I found the mini boxers," he told her digging through his selection, "Socks…check out this little hat…jeans…oh, I found this shirt, it's exactly like Sam's Spiderman shirt but smaller, then we needed the baby shampoo, the lotion, sun block, Tylenol, they had these cute little clippers for his fingernails; we needed more pajama's for him and I found this fantastic little teddy be-"

She leaned up and kissed him full on the mouth, careful to keep her hand on Isaac's back as she caressed his tongue gently with her own before gliding it slowly over his teeth, "You're such a girl when you shop." She whispered playfully and placed a lingering kiss on the corner of his mouth, "You're a good father."

He grinned, "Thank you."

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"Is the water too hot for him?" Elliot asked placing his hand in the shallow water of the tub.

Olivia dipped her fingers in and shook her head, "Seems okay to me."

"Do you want to bathe him?" Elliot asked sitting on the bathroom floor with Isaac sitting quietly in his lap as he gently removed the tiny t-shirt from his body.

"Um," She tilted her head, "Let's do it together?"

"Sounds good to me." Elliot grinned pulled the straps on the diaper and removing it from his son, "Ready for your bath?" Elliot asked holding Isaac in the air and smiling as his son looked down on him.

Olivia was just about to caution him on the realities of little boys being without a diaper when Isaac decided he would inform him himself. She laughed as Elliot and Isaac stared at each other, Isaac still suspended in the air as a perfect stream of urine hit Elliot's chest.

"El!" She laughed; "Put him in the tub!" she instructed taking him gently from a shock, yet currently smiling Elliot. "Take your shirt off." She smiled lowering her son slowly into the water and hearing a tiny glee spring from his lips, "Ah," she laughed at their son's expression, "We got ourselves a water bug, here."

"A water pistol, more like it." Elliot chuckled and removed his t-shirt pulling a rag off the rail and wetting it to wipe down his chest. Both he and Olivia kneeled next to the tub simply enjoying the fact that they were given the opportunity to bathe their son, to cover his body with water, to let him rest in their hands as they rinsed shampoo out of his hair. To watch him stare at them in curiosity.

"We forgot to get him a rubber duck." Olivia chuckled, "We'll have to make a list, we need a rubber duck, every little baby needs a rubber duck, and water toys."

As if Isaac knew what a water toy was he let out a happy shrill and slapped the water splashing both parents with water to which they simply laughed and delicately splashed him back encouraging him to do it again until neither parent was sure exactly who was taking the bath because all three were soaked, "Alex should be here any minute." Elliot informed her, "If you want to get him ready I'll change, then watch him so you can."

Olivia grinned, kissed Elliot playfully and carefully pulled Isaac form the water wrapping his body in a towel and laying him softly on the bed, "Pamper first." She smiled, "Cause I know how you and that little bladder of your's operate." She teased him softly and slipped the pamper under his body securing it easily before smoothing lotion over his body and digging around in the paper sac for the overalls Alex brought him and a red t-shirt Elliot had picked out for him

She was surprised to see him attempt to slip his arms through the sleeves of the shirt with her assistance, "You are a big boy, huh?" she smiled wanting nothing more than to smother him with her voice for the sole purpose of erasing the voice of whomever had him all this time.

She pulled his shirt up playfully and kissed his belly, a raspberry blown perfectly just above the naval to which his laugh carried through the room and his hands wrapped around her face.

She grinned at the gesture, grinned at the laugh, grinned at her son who was lying right in front of her. She finished dressing him and smiled, the world was finally righting itself. "Hey." Olivia whispered, picking him up and letting him stand on the bed holding his hands, "Look at you." She whistled, "Knock out."

"Just like his father." Elliot grinned standing behind her in his boxers.

"Hey," She smiled and then grinned as Isaac plopped onto his bottom, stood back up and continued to repeat the process, tiny giggles sounding off at each attempt, "he's playing." She whispered as they both watched. "Did you leave the water running for me?"

"Yep." He smiled against her cheek and rubbed himself into her backside, "I was thinking about you while I was in the shower."

She splayed her hands on his thighs and suppressed a moan as his erection made itself known, "El…come on, our son is right in front of us."

"Yeah, But you want me don't you?" whispered trailing his fingertip up her thigh and grazing her core lightly against her jeans causing a sharp intake of air as she dug her fingertips into his thighs.

"Yeah, you know I want you." She whispered trying to pull away.

He held her tightly against his swelling body and rubbed into her before kissing her neck, "Just wanted to hear you say it." He whispered, before walking away, "Showers yours."

She closed her eyes and swallowed, "I hate you."

"That's not what you'll be saying a few days from now."

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"Mom?" Sam yelled into the house and Robert and Alex followed him in.

"Shh, honey." Alex calmed his excitement, "Isaac, might be asleep and he might be a little scared."

"Oh." He furrowed his brow and felt his way into the living room in a loud whisper, "Mom?"

"Right here, Baby." She grinned appearing in the hall, "What? No hug and kiss hello?"

He grinned and ran to her voice wrapping her in a tight embrace, "Hi." He giggled into her belly, "Is my brother here?"

"He is." Olivia laughed as Elliot came up behind her.

"He's been so excited all day." Robert informed them both, "He went shopping…again, bought him a stuffed puppy."

"Yeah." Sam grinned, "Until he's a big boy like me and he can have his own puppy like Tripod…can I meet him?"

"He's asked us that question since about five O'clock this morning." Alex grinned running her hand through his hair.

"Sam," Olivia laughed, "what did we talk about with these early morning wake ups?"

"You said no calling…I was at their house, so I didn't have to call, I just had to knock on the door…a lot because they were sleeping."

"Oh." Olivia laughed and kneeled in front of him a kiss placed on his cheek, "Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah…can I meet my brother?"

"Persistent." Olivia laughed.

"You're telling me." Robert teased.

"Isaac is in our room, but I need you to do a really big favor for me, okay?"

"Okay." Sam grinned resting his hands on her shoulders.

"Isaac is a very sleepy little boy. Do you remember how, when you first came to live with us that you liked to sleep a lot?"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember…does Isaac like to sleep a lot?"

"Yeah," Olivia shook her head, "He's very tired and he's not use to a lot of people around him."

"Like me when I first came here, huh?"

"Sort of," Olivia confessed, "But it's more that he doesn't like the noise and is a little unsure of what's happening, do you think you can talk in a soft voice when you meet him?"

"Yeah." Sam instantly changed the pitch of his voice making Olivia grin, "Okay, take a seat on the couch and me and your dad will be right out." She assured him and turned to Robert and Alex with a smiled, "Can you two stay for awhile?"

"You know what?" Robert interjected softly, "I'd like to see your son, and then were gonna go because Sam has been looking forward to this all day and I think it's his time to be with him."

Olivia smiled, "I'll go get El, and Isaac."

Alex and Robert flanked Sam, "You excited?" Alex asked playfully.

"So excited." Sam grinned then trained his ear instantly when Elliot and Olivia stepped back into the room.

"Hi." Elliot beamed at his friends, "Sam, would you like to meet your brother?"

"Yeah." Sam whispered.

"Okay, he fell asleep." Olivia warned him, "But we're gonna put him in your lap and let you hold him, you okay with that?"

"Yeah." He grinned and opened his arms. Olivia placed Isaac in Sam's arms and smiled at the sight of her son's flanked by best friends.

"Can I touch his face, Mom?" Sam asked in a whisper.

"Yep." She smiled and rested her temple on Elliot's shoulder, watching as Sam carefully felt of Isaac's face and body, "He's handsome like me." Sam whispered.

"He has hair that is your color." Elliot informed him.

"Are his eyes green?"

"No." Olivia whispered, "His are blue." She told him leaving out the complexity of trying to explain the freckles in his eyes.

"See, Mom, God answers our prayers, Isaac is home with us." He told her confidently.

Elliot grinned and kneeled before him, "Sam, do you know what that means?"

"That God listened."

"Well, yeah, but it also means that God loves us both the same, because you prayed for your mom who is a girl and she got better, then your prayed for your brother who is a boy and he came home."

Sam grinned, "That's right."

"He's a very handsome little boy." Robert finally spoke up looking at the little one being held by Sam, "You guys are gonna have a whole houseful of little kids." He chuckled standing to his feet as Alex followed suit exchanging hugs and congratulations before leaving the house.

"Hey, buddy." Olivia smiled as she and Elliot returned to the living room, "You've got school tomorrow, huh?"

"Yeah." He told her as he lightly rubbed Isaac's arm, "I get to tell Crystal that my brother is home now."

"You really like this Crystal girl, huh?" Elliot smiled sitting next to him as Olivia sat on the other side peering down at Isaac.

"Yeah, yeah, she's super nice, dad."

"Ah, well, maybe you should invite her over one day so you two can play." He suggested.

"Really? How do I do that?" he furrowed his brow.

"Just ask her if she'd like to," Olivia told him kissing his head softly, "kind of how you asked Chloe." She chuckled, "Can you do that?"

"Yeah, yeah." He grinned.

"Alright," Olivia smiled, "Let's get you cleaned up, fed and put to bed, huh?"

"Okay." Sam smiled and lowered his head carefully, a tender kissed placed on his brothers cheek, "He's a little heavier than Addison." He whispered.

Elliot took Isaac, careful not to wake him up as he stood and helped Olivia off of the couch.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Son?"

"Can Isaac sleep in my bed with me and Tripod until he gets a bed?" he asked hopefully.

"Sorry, son, but Isaac is too small to sleep in a bed without rails." Elliot explained.

"Oh." Sam whispered in disappointment.

Olivia couldn't stand the sound of his hopes being shot down, "But, Isaac was gonna sleep with your father and I…would you and Tripod care to join us?"

"Mom." Sam smiled, "That's a lot of people."

"Yeah, but I want to be with both of my sons' tonight, how's that?"

Sam clapped his hand and through his head back in laughter, "Okay."

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"I have two tired little boys in the front room." Olivia grinned snaking her arms around Elliot's waist as he finished rinsing his mouth out, "Can you help me put them to bed?" she asked kissing his bare back as her hands rested on the curve of his chest muscles.

"Nothing else I'd rather do." He smiled at her in the mirror.

She walked her fingers along his abdomen and kissed his shoulder again before cupping him through the cotton fabric, "You sure about that?" she whispered over his skin, "Because they are both very much asleep, I can assure you."

"Are you saying you want me?" he asked with a smirk.

She eyes him in the mirror and smiled wickedly as she slipped her hand into his boxers and stroked him, "No." she whispered stoking him again, softly, as she locked eyes with him, "I saying you want me." She told him and stroked him until his body began to thrust in her hand and he was forced to brace himself against the counter just as she had to only hours ago.

"Liv." He choked out, "Liv, I want you so bad."

"I know you do." She whispered before trailing the lines of his ear with the extreme tip of her tongue, "You know what else I know?" she asked stoking him harder but still entirely slow.

"What?" he hissed at her work.

She instantly withdrew her hand, kissed him chastely on his bare shoulders and walked away, "I'm pretty good at foreplay too." She tossed over her shoulder with a playful grin, "Now, come help me with our kids."

He shook his head and groaned, "You'll have to give me a sec."

She laughed and disappeared, picking up Isaac who had been changed into pajamas directly after dinner. She passed a blushing Elliot in the hallway but stopped to kiss him, "Just wanted to hear you say you wanted me." She grinned and continued to the room.

She tucked Isaac in carefully before slipping into pajama's and hearing Tripod tramp through the house, "Up." Olivia patted the bed and smiled as he hopped up, "Lay down-stay." She commanded and the dog happily obliged camping out at the foot of the bed and starring curiously at the new form in the bed.

"You don't think he'll bother Isaac do you?" Elliot asked bringing in the last load of precious cargo and tucking him in next to Isaac.

"Na." Olivia waved her hand, "He'll camp out at the foot of the bed until he thinks we're all asleep then he'll worm his way up to Sam and nuzzle in for the night, and you know that dog doesn't care about anyone except Sam." She laughed softly and slipped into the bed next to Isaac as Elliot slipped in next to Sam.

They reached over their boys and laced their hands together simply watching the two sleep and then grinning when Isaac tuned on his side and nuzzled his head into Sam's neck and exhaled smacking his lips together and settling in for the night. "Looks like they like each other." Olivia whispered.

"Yeah, I think they do." Elliot smiled and reached over to shut off the light. He found her hand again and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles as they rested in silence for several minutes. Elliot felt the wetness of a certain nose nudging his arm as Tripod slowly wormed his way up to the top of the bed and wedged himself in between Elliot and Sam.

"Told you." Olivia chuckled softly.

Elliot squeezed her hand and smiled to himself "I love you Liv."

"Love you too, El."

A/N: Nope, not over.


	25. Chapter 25 Tell Me The Top Five

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 25 Tell Me The Top Five.

A/N: Color Esperanza…sweetie, you know me too well, but alas, it won't be in this chapter…unless something strikes my fancy. LOL.

Elliot woke up to the worst breath he'd ever smelled in his life, "Liv." He groaned, "Baby, I love you, but you need a mint." He chuckled but stopped when he felt the wettest tongue lick his chin right up to his nose, "Tripod!" He hissed and pushed the dog away wiping his face on the blanket and turning to see only his sons in his bed. He looked at the clock, decided; it was far too early to be up, especially when Cragen had given him a week off to reacquaint himself with his Isaac.

He slipped gently out of the bed smiling to see Sam's protective arm slung around Isaac's tiny body. He pulled a pillow next to Isaac and padded out of the room to see Olivia stretched out on the couch, book in one hand while the other lazily rubbed her belly. Elliot picked her feet up, giving her a slight start.

"El!" She whispered, "You scared the crap out of me." She muttered and tried to hide something behind her without looking too obvious.

He laughed, "What happened to your detective radar? You should have known I was coming down the hall."

"Sorry." She smiled and rubbed his abdomen with her toes as she held up the book, "It's a good book, I guess I sort of got sucked into it."

"What is it?" He asked as he began to rub her foot softly.

"First of all." She let out an appreciative moan, "You have no idea how much my feet hurt, and how good that feels."

He laughed softly and bent to kiss the top of her foot, "And second of all?"

"It's called _The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night_. It's about this autistic boy who investigates the murder of a neighbor's dog…brilliantly written, actually." Olivia smiled and laid it on the floor next to the couch before she smiled and waggled her brow at him, "Of course…if you want to _show_ me The Curious Incident of Two Incredibly Sexy People In The Night, I won't object."

He smirked, and carefully stretched out along side of her, his hand finding its way into her t shirt and grazing the flesh it found as he watched her eyes grow dark with dilation, his lips met with hers as she tangled her feet with his. He separated and smiled, "Not a chance Mrs. Stabler."

She groaned, "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope." He grinned and attempted to sit up until she pulled him down quickly and dipped her hand into his boxer's.

"I can feel that you want me." She whispered nipping at his jaw line, "So, why are you torturing me? Why are you denying your self when I'm right here?"

He groaned as she caressed him and he dug anxious fingers into her backside, "Because," he swallowed a moan, "I haven't made love to you in a very long time, and when I do," he whispered grazing her through her panties, "I want to make sure that you're absolutely ready…to scream my name."

"Scream, huh? Interesting." she panted lightly and exchanged breaths with him in their close proximity.

"Yeah." He smiled and reached one hand behind her as he drew abstract art on her inner thigh, "That book wasn't all you were reading was it?" he asked, pulling a magazine from behind her and watching her blush uncontrollably.

She cleared her throat, "Um…it's addressed to you, not me, I don't know where it came from." She protested in a less than perfect lie due to her grin.

"Yet, this is your stationary." He whispered resting the magazine on her belly as he teased the juncture of her thighs careful not to touch her where he knew she wanted him to. "What were you reading?" he asked, slowly pulling her panties to the side.

"Nothing." She whimpered feeling his finger lightly stroke her, avoiding that one precious spot she wanted him to caress.

"You're a bad liar." He whispered and withdrew the paper from the closed magazine, "Taking notes?"

"Shut up." She moaned," Come on El, don't…embarrass me."

He kissed her mouth softly and smiled gently against her, "Tell me the article you were reading and I wont read your notes…I just want to know what you were reading."

"I told you." She whispered, "_The Curious Inc_-"

"No." He shook his head and kissed her breast through her shirt as his other hand continued to stroke her carefully, "From this magazine." He whispered and drummed his free fingers over it, "I want to know what you found so interesting in Cosmo that it had you taking notes."

"El, it was nothing." She assured him pulling him up for a kiss so dangerous, he thought he might loose control from the results of her moaning against his lips and rubbing into his hips.

"Don't." He pulled away, "Don't try to come."

She flopped her head back in pure frustration, "El," She whined, "Your fingers are all over me, your body is pressed against me…there are some things I can't help." He lightly and quickly let his finger graze her swollen nerves for all of a fraction of a second watching her pull her head back and hiss, "You're torturing me."

"Tell me what you were reading and I'll happily make you come."

"It's some kind of guy talk," She told him quickly, "they interviewed guys and asked what drove them wild."

"And you took notes?" He arched his brow.

"Not notes." She panted raising her knee to the side of his hip to feel him more acutely against her body, "I was going to put them in my box."

"Your fantasy was to drive me wild?" he asked amused.

"No." She shook her head as the frustration built and she tried to press his hand to her.

"Stop." He scolded, "Or I'll stop." He grinned and watched her move her hand, "Tell me what the fantasy was?"

She moaned, "It's not really a fantasy." She panted, "I just wanted to make you scream before you made me."

He laughed, "Is this a competition?"

"No." She kissed him, "This is utter torture."

"Mmm," He grinned, "How were you planning on making me scream?"

"EL!" she groaned loudly.

"Shh, you'll wake the boys up." He cautioned, "Tell me…name the top five."

"I'm not doing one of them." She whispered as he lavished her neck, "It seems odd to me."

"Like what? Tell me." He smiled sucking softly at the base of her neck.

"El, come on, this is embarrassing, can't you just wait until you pull it from the box?" she asked and hissed feeling his hands under her shirt.

"No." He said huskily and slid her shirt up gently, trailing his tongue down her body painfully slow, "Tell me the top five, and tell me the one you won't do so I can convince you to do it."

"Make me come, and I might tell you." She bargained, rubbing into his hand hoping that by chance he would graze her again.

"No, Liv." He smiled, "Tell me."

Deciding if he could torture her through this conversation she was going to torture him to the best of her ability, she locked eyes with him and reached into his boxers caressing his already hardened length, "Number five," she whispered as he closed his eyes and leaned into her shoulder, "apparently guys like to feel a vibrator during intercourse." She whispered caressing the underside of his sac, feeling the skin grow taught with each caress.

He moaned and bit gently into her shoulder, tonguing it softy when she hissed at the contact, "What's number four?" he whispered in her ear, "Tell me."

"Number four," she smiled and kissed him seductively under his chin, "it seems men are really into anal sex."

Elliot let out a gentle laugh, a soft blush and ducked his head to the top of her breast, "Take your shirt off."

"No."

"Take it off?" He asked again.

"No…not if you're going to just tease me."

"I want to see you."

"Sounds like a personal problem to me." She teased him then gasped when he simply pulled her up and withdrew the shirt from her body.

"I am going to tease you…mercilessly, I might add." He smirked and lowered her panty clad body back onto the couch, "What's number three?" he whispered drawing lazing circles with his tongue around her nipple.

She moaned, arched closer to him feeling nothing but heat and pure sexiness with his lips caressing her pregnant form, "Number three." She breathed, "I didn't know guys like their partners to be completely shaven."

He grinned and peered up at her, "It feels different…and if both people are, then it's really different." He blushed looking at her.

She smiled, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't think you'd want too." He shrugged and then grinned as he cupped her through her panties, "Besides, I like your bikini line the way you do it…you look hot."

She smiled and continued to stroke him watching as his body started to betray his plan to torture her. He cleared his throat and pulled her hand away keeping it at her side, "You're not playing by the rules of engagement Detective." He whispered kissing the swell of her belly, "And for that, I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson." He warned and playfully kissed her bellybutton and kissed his way to her happy trail only to stop as soon as she moaned in pleasure for his mouth to caress her.

He grinned and moved back over her, "Did you learn your lesson?"

"I'm gonna get you back for this Elliot, you have no idea what your doing to me right now."

He smiled and lazily ran a finger over the dampness of her underwear, "Believe me when I tell you, I have a pretty good idea…what's number two?"

She ran her hand through her hair in sheer effort to forget the sensations engulfing her body, the feeling of constantly being so close to the edge only to have him pull her back. She was growing frustrated to the point where she just wanted him to push her over and hold on as they dove into ecstasy. "Number two." She bit her bottom lip and pulled his hips closer to hers, "Some guys like to watch their wives touch themselves, why have you never told me that?"

"Too distracted with this incredible body." He whispered making his way to her mouth, "And these lips." He smiled kissing her softly, "I like when you touch me though, I like your hands on me…number one? What's number one?"

"What's the deal with toes?" She asked stroking his back gently, "Why do guys like it so much?"

Elliot grinned and sat up on his knees bending her leg as he looked at her before kissing her knee softly and making his down her calf, smoothly shaven, perfect caramel skin against his lips, he trailed the tip of his tongue over the top of her foot and looked up with her with sheer deviousness as he sucked softly on her toe watching as she arched up, rolled her head back and moaned. He released immediately when moans became whimper, and he returned to her neck, "That's what the deal is." He whispered.

She swallowed and panted, "Pretty, good, deal."

"Tell me which one you don't want to do."

"I'm not telling you, unless you make me come right now, Elliot…this is too much, I just want you." She begged and to his surprise even went so far as to produce a pouted lip.

He grinned and nipped softly at it, "I told you…answer my questions and I'll happily make you come."

Olivia never was one to handle frustration well as she pulled harder on his hips and rubbed deeper into him, "No vibrator…doesn't seem right."

He moaned against her skin at the sensation of having her want him so badly, "You would touch yourself for me? You would let me watch?" he asked somewhat surprised.

She grinned, "It's not my thing, but if you keep this up much longer it might be." She warned, "Stop torturing me, it's too much." She whispered.

"You're right." He laughed and sat up taking her feet back into his hands as if nothing had happened.

She stared at him in shock, mouth parted, eyes wide, "I can't believe you did that again!" She hissed and playfully threw and pillow at him, "What happened to 'I'll happily make you come?'" She pouted but couldn't suppress the smile.

He shrugged, "I didn't say when."

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Casey finished typing a brief in her home office before closing her laptop and stretching, she'd gotten up early to tackle it, knowing it was due in court as soon as she showed up. She exhaled walking out of the office and checking on Addison who was sound asleep in his crib. She made her next stop only to see that Paul wasn't in their room.

"Paul?" she called softly as she passed the room and saw him sitting in a recliner starring absently at an info commercial.

"No cartoon network?" she whispered sitting on his lap and leaning into him.

"Don't know."

"Why are you up?"

"Couldn't sleep." He whispered changing the channel to a cartoon and muting it. He rested his head against her breast and held her close to him, "Can you take today off?"

She exhaled and kissed his head lightly, "I'm sorry, I can't I have court in the morning, and Olivia wants us over for lunch…come, you can see Isaac."

"No." he shook his head, "No, I don't want to see him."

"What? I thought you wanted to…you canceled your trip and came back home, what happened?"

"I just don't want him to see me and know that I was the one that couldn't stop him form being taken."

"Oh, honey-"

"He'll know…kids are weird like that Case, they know when someone is bad."

"Then they also know when they're good, which means he'll trust you and he'll love you." She assured him.

"No." he choked back tears, "Please, I don't want to see him."

Casey nodded and kissed his temple, "Maybe in the future."

"I don't know." He whispered.

"Baby, you can't ignore Olivia and Elliot and Sam…especially Sam, he likes you so much." She told him rubbing his chest softly.

"Maybe…it will be better if I do…for all of us, you know?"

"No I don't know…don't you dare ignore them." She told him firmly and placed a tender kiss on the corner of his mouth, "Look, I'm going to meet up with them, call me if you want to come, if you don't I'll get home as soon as possible…and let's you and I go out tonight, huh? Just you and me, dinner maybe a walk?"

He smiled sadly and kissed her softly, "Yeah, yeah, I'd like to take you out."

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"Hey sleepyhead, is your brother still asleep?" Olivia asked from the kitchen table.

Sam shook his head 'yes' but didn't offer anything else as he leaned against the armrest of the couch.

"You okay, Baby?" Olivia asked seeing him worry his bottom lip.

"Is Dad here?" he whispered.

"No, Honey. I'm sorry, he ran to the store for me. Is something on your mind, you tossed and turned a little last night." He exhaled and made his way to her voice resting his forehead on her shoulder and crying softly. Olivia tossed her bagel onto the plate and wrapped her arm around him, "What happened?"

He pulled up his face to wipe his tears, "I had a scary dream, and when I woke up…it still hurt.' He whispered.

"What hurt, Baby?"

"No!" he pulled away put she out maneuvered him and place him quickly on her lap.

"Don't run from me, Samuel." She told him softly, "Talk to me, please?"

"Mom?" He hiccupped and wiped his face with the back of his hand effectively spreading snot rather then ridding himself of it.

"Yes?"

"Will Daddy hurt me like Grandpa and my first daddy did?"

"Never." She told him firmly and rested her forehead against Sam's, "Never honey. We've talked about this…why are you worried?"

"Will he hurt Isaac?"

Olivia pulled him tight, "No. Your Daddy would never hurt anyone, and especially not his sons." She assured him, "What's wrong Baby? You were so excited last night to see Isaac, now your sad…what happened?"

"If grandpa hurt my daddy," he cried softly, "And my daddy hurt me…does that mean I have to hurt Isaac? I don't want to hurt anyone, Mom. I'm a nice boy and I like my brother, but now I'm scared and I don't want to be a big brother to anyone." He cried in her lap.

She arched her brows in shock of his feelings, in shock of his logic and interpretation of inheritance, "Samuel." She smiled and pulled him back to look at him. She grabbed her napkin and gently wiped his face before giving him a gentle kiss on the nose, "You are the most amazing little boy I have ever met in my life your daddy made wrong choices and that's why he hurt you, but I know that you would never ever hurt someone on purpose."

"How do you know, Mom?"

"Because I've watched you for months now, and I see how much you love to love people. I hear you when you pray for Isaac and me and your dad and our friends, Baby, there is not a mean bone in your body." She assured him.

"But how do you know? My first daddy and mommy they made me…and they were bad…so when I was made, I should have been bad too, right?"

"No." She answered in a surprising confidence.

"Why?" He asked immediately.

"Sam," Olivia exhaled softly, "My mother…she wasn't so nice to me. I told you that right?"

"Yeah." He whispered touching his hands to her face.

"Well, my daddy…he wasn't a good man either…and either is my brother-"

"You have a brother?" he asked tilting his head to the side.

"Yes, I do but, he was a very bad brother and Daddy and I made sure he went to jail….so we don't ever see each other."

"Does that make you sad?" he asked softly.

"No." She answered honestly, "Because he was so bad that he made me unhappy, he made my heart hurt."

"Oh…he's a bad guy to make your heart hurt." He whispered and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Yeah, but can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, yeah." He shook his head and pulled back so she could ask.

"Do you think I'm a bad person? Do you think I would hurt you?"

"No!" he shook his head fanatically, "You love me, and I'm your boy."

"But, my family was bad…shouldn't I be bad?" She asked driving her point home not just to him but to herself as well.

He furrowed his brow mulling the question over, "But you're good."

She smiled, "I try to be."

"You are good, you love me and Isaac, and you don't yell at me or spank me or make me eat only carrots and you taught me to swim so my breathers don't hurt and daddy says I can try another bath whenever I'm ready, and you got me a puppy, and I have a room, and you don't forget to feed me and-"

"Sam…do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? You can choose to be bad or you can choose to be good. I believe that you've already made your choice to be good."

He smiled, "I'm a good boy."

"Yeah, you are." She grinned and nuzzled his nose, "and if you ever need us to remind you just let us know." She whispered.

"Okay."

"I have an idea."

"What?"

"Want to help me get Isaac ready this morning? We have to look for a bed for him today while you're at school but when we pick you up Casey wants to come and have lunch with us…how does that sound?"

"Cool."

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"I don't know how they sleep through all the noise your making in here El." Olivia teased kneeling next to him, "They're both zonked, I think Isaac is just a giant sleepy head and summer school exhausts Sam." she chuckled and looked at the progress Elliot made on the bed they'd bought for Isaac. "This bed is so cute." Olivia smiled handing the drill to Elliot.

"It's not cute, Liv, its manly…no boy sleeps on a cute bed."

"Elliot, it has this foldable railing on it to keep him safe. Are you telling me that that is manly? And besides, you sleep on our bed."

"Our bed isn't cute and the railing is removable as he gets older." He told her drilling a screw into the bed frame.

"What?" She arched her brow, "Well I know our bed is not manly."

"Nor is it cute." He agreed picking up the small mattress and placing it onto the frame.

"Then what is it?" She asked in curiosity as she pulled out Batman sheets and began to cover the mattress.

"It's sexy." He grinned and helped her smoothen out the fitted sheet.

"You think this is gonna work?"

"What?" Elliot asked pulling the top sheet tight.

"Isaac and Sam sharing a room. Sam needs everything clean and put exactly back where it was, so he knows where it is."

"Well," Elliot shrugged pulling the blue comforter over the sheet, "Sam asked for it to be this way, so maybe we should give it a try and if it doesn't work we'll move the bed into the nursery"

"What about the babies?"

"Oh." Elliot raised his brow, "Well, if worse comes to worse, we'll clean out the office and make it into a room."

"That means late nights at the station." She grumbled.

"Not necessarily, we can figure something out…don't worry, this might work."

"El?" She sat on the bed gently and exhaled, "We need to talk."

He arched his brow in nervousness, "Is this about last night?"

"What? No." She laughed, "Although I just want you to know that pay back sucks."

"Noted…what's up?"

"Sam…had a dream last night, he woke up this morning before school and he was very upset."

"Did he say what it was about?"

"He said when he woke up it still hurt…and then he basically asked if he was programmed to hurt Isaac because of his grandpa and dad."

"He'd never hurt Isaac…in fact he cried yesterday when I stomped on that spider and he heard in crunch." Elliot chuckled, "I'm not worried about it…are you?"

"Not really, no."

"You don't sound really convincing; a defense attorney would be all over you like flies on crap." He chuckled, "What are you thinking?"

"Well, I keep saying that we should all go see a shrink but I've managed to make and cancel fifteen appointments…I think that someway, somehow, Sam is gonna have to talk to someone who's more experienced than us…sure our job gives us some know how, but he needs to see someone and maybe now that he's getting comfortable meeting new people, maybe we should invite George over for another shot?"

Elliot exhaled "Okay…but Liv, I'm confidant he'd never hurt or touch Isaac."

"I absolutely agree, but you should have seen his face El, he thinks he's supposed to grow up bad and I think that if he talks to someone and we just keep loving him, we might convince him otherwise and relieve him of some of the stress and baggage he carries."

Elliot shook his head and stood, "I'll call George."

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"Sam!" Olivia called into the hallway after the doorbell rang, "Baby, answer the door, please?"

"Kay!" he responded and went to the door, "Who is it?"

"It's your favorite aunt Casey."

Sam giggled and opened the door, "You're my only aunt Casey."

"Yeah," Casey shrugged, "But I'm still your favorite, right?"

"Yeah." He giggled and hugged her before closing the door, "Did you bring Addison so he can meet Isaac?"

"Yes I did…where is your little brother?"

Sam raised up a hand unaware that Olivia had just turned the corner, "He's not my brother, he's their boy."

Olivia frowned at the remark and noticed the confusion on Casey's face, "Sam?" Olivia called to him gently, "You okay, honey?"

"Yeah." He shook his head and walked away.

"What was that?" Casey asked hugging Olivia.

"Not sure…he had a rough morning." She said looking at the little boy in Casey's arms, "Whoa, he's getting huge!"

"If I had his weight in gold I could by a pent house in Manhattan." She grinned.

"Hey," Olivia furrowed her brow, "Where's Paul?"

Casey exhaled, "He's…not doing so well, actually."

"What?" Olivia asked in concern and led Casey down the hall to her room, "What's going on?"

"I don't know…he's digesting Isaac being back."

"I thought he was happy?"

"He was…he flew back immediately but when I picked him up at the airport, he started to worry."

"El?" Olivia called as they walked into the room, "Casey's here."

"Does that mean I can't come out naked?" He asked from the bathroom.

Casey rolled her eyes, "That would be my preference, Stabler."

Elliot laughed within the confines of the bathroom and walked out with Isaac in his arms, "This little guy is fascinated with water." He smiled and hugged Casey softly, "Want to switch?" He asked as he placed Isaac in her arms and took Addison into his. "Whoa, what are you feeding this kid?" Elliot teased, "He's almost as heavy as Olivia."

"Elliot!" Olivia arched her brow in shock.

"What?" He grinned, "I said almost."

"Yep." Casey laughed, "No sex for you tonight."

Elliot grinned and passed Addison to Olivia before leaving, "I'll settle for foreplay."

"El!" Olivia groaned and shook her head as both women let their sons sit up on the mattress, their bodies acting as safety guards against falling.

"He's adorable." Casey whispered to Olivia.

"He sleeps like a lion, eats like and elephant and plays like a monkey." Olivia laughed, "You should have seen Sam when we brought him home, such the proud brother."

"Really? What happened, because he was adamant that Isaac wasn't his brother?"

"I'm not sure, we'll talk to him in awhile, but he thinks he's gonna grow up to be bad, I think he's scared of hurting Isaac."

"Ah." She shook her head and gently ran her hand over her son's belly, "do you think he would?"

"Not a doubt in my mind that he won't."

"I don't think he will either, I've seen him with Addison, the kid is just too sweet…which means you and Elliot are in for it."

"What?"

"Oh, yeah." Casey teased reaching over and tickling Isaac's foot, "Sam is not only gonna be drop dead gorgeous but he's sweet and the girls are gonna fall over themselves, and after you've got him married your gonna have to deal with the ladies drooling over this cutie."

Olivia smiled sadly.

"What's with the face?" Casey asked running her fingers through Isaac's hair and smiling as he giggled out loud and reached up to clutch her wrist.

"I worry about Sam's future…you know, dating and getting married."

"You mean, you worry that the girls won't be able to look past the fact that he's blind?"

"Well…yeah, actually I am worried about it. Our society is so shallow." She shook her head, "I just want him to be happy, I want for my kids what El and I have, you know…without the drama though." She grinned, "I want him to know the good things in life, and I wonder if it will be hard when he realizes that Isaac will do certain things he can't, like drive."

"Mmm, yeah I see what your saying…seems like your only hope is to make sure you raise your kids so that they're as close as possible, so that they look after one another, sighted or otherwise."

Olivia exhaled and smiled as Isaac crashed, "See what I'm talking about?"

"He's had a hard year."

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"Hey Sam?" Elliot peeked into his room, "Want to play a game with me? I got this cool soccer ball that has a bell in it so you'll know where it is."

"No, thank you." Sam exhaled, "Daddy?"

"Yeah?" Elliot responded placing the ball in the corner and sitting next to his son, "What's up?"

"I'm scared to take my nap."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Dreams." He shook his head, "Really bad dreams, and I hurt when I wake up."

"Your heart hurts?"

"No." He shook his head and shifted on the bed before he started to cry.

"What hurts, Son?"

He cried harder as Elliot pulled him close and wrapped him up in his arms, "You go a head and cry all you need to, Son."

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Olivia picked Isaac up carefully and smiled at Addison, "Looks like Isaac isn't the only one to crash."

"Nope, Addison just ate which means he'll be out for a couple of hours too." She laughed, "He's exactly like Paul, eats and crashes.

"Well, come on, we can put them both on this bed we got Isaac…it's pretty cool." She explained leading Casey out of the room and down the hall, "It's this light wood with this rail and tiny mattress. We had to put it against the wall so he didn't roll off, and the rail protects him on the other side, but it's big enough for of these guys."

"Sounds good, but can we get some food quick, I'm starving."

Olivia laughed and then frowned narrowing her vision to Sam's door, "Shh, do you hear that?"

Casey listened and shook her head, "Yeah, is he crying?"

"I think so." Olivia shook her head and lightly pushed the door open to see Elliot holding Sam tightly and rocking him gently as he stroked his hair. "Case?"

"Yeah?"

"Give me Addison, I'll take him in, but…I'd rather Sam had his privacy, I can show you the bed later?"

"Sure." Casey smiled and gently placed Addison on her chest, "Wow, just imagine this is what you're gonna look like with twins."

Olivia grinned and looked down at the two sleeping boys she held, "Can't wait." She smiled and padded lightly into the room lowering her body with the boys so that they both were laid safely to sleep. "What happened?" she asked Elliot softly as he held a now sleeping and worn out Sam.

"I don't know…I came in, he said he had a dream and next thing I know he broke down." He whispered trying to hide his own tears. He kissed Sam's head lightly and laid him on his bed before pulling the blanket over him, "Something has him really upset."

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"Casey told me Paul is having a hard time with Isaac being back." Olivia whispered as he held her on the couch, both boys still asleep almost an hour after Casey had departed with her own son, asking where she could also by a bed because it was cute. Elliot rolled his eyes but gave her the store name anyway.

"He's too hard on himself." Elliot whispered, "You know what?"

"What?"

"Tomorrow, you and I should take Isaac while Casey is at work and Sam is at school and drop in on him…make him face it."

"No…no, no, no." Olivia protested, "That is something that needs to be dealt with him and Casey, we can't cut into that wound without a least warning Casey or talking to her, that would be completely wrong."

"Will you ask her then? Cause…I kind of miss the Paul we met before things got crazy."

Olivia exhaled, "Yeah I'll- what was that?" she asked suddenly sitting up. "Is that Isaac or Sam crying?"

"I don't know," Elliot started to stand, "but whoever it is sounds scared too death." He told her with a look of worry as they hurried to the room and opened the door to see Sam frantically yelling on his bed pulling at the crotch of his boxers as Isaac stirred into wakefulness and began to cry himself.

"Sam." Elliot sat next to him only to have him yell harder, "NO! NO! Mommy help!" he screeched holding fiercely to his pants, "Make it go away! So I'm not bad!" he yelled and Elliot knew instantly the source of his distress.

"Sam."

"MOMMY!"

"Sam, it's nor-"

"Mommy!" he hiccupped and cried scooting to the top of his bed and rocking frantically, 'Mommy, make it go away."

Olivia furrowed her brow picking up Isaac from his own bed and passing him to Elliot, "Take him out."

"Liv," Elliot whispered in her ear, "Maybe I should take this one?"

"He won't let you near him." She assured him, "Take Isaac, get him calm, I'll talk to him."

Elliot shook his head and took Isaac out of the room.

"Sam?" Olivia whispered sitting softly on the bed surprised when he almost charged her and fell into her arms.

"I don't want to be bad." He whispered against her neck.

She smiled softly and pulled him away, "Tell me why you think your gonna be bad." She whispered.

"Cause my peter." He cried holding his shorts, "it wont stay normal and it hurts me when I wake up!" he screeched.

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Your peter? Honey what are yo- oh." She glanced down quickly and suddenly wished she'd let Elliot take this one after all. "Sit right here, honey, on your bum." He said patting the space next to her, "Did you just now wake up?"

He sniffled, "Yeah."

"What did you dream about?" she asked softly.

"Grandpa and daddy…I don't like to do things with them, but my brain tells me I do when I'm sleeping."

"Sometimes our brains are wrong honey." She whispered.

He shifted and pulled at his shorts and himself, "I don't like this." He cried, "It wont go away, please make it go away."

Her eyes widened not knowing what to do for him, "Honey, your nine years old…things like this…they might start happening to you a little more."

"No." He shook his head, "No, I don't like it."

"I know you don't honey, but we can't control our bodies when we're asleep."

"Please, make it go away." He sniffled.

She exhaled, "What did you do at school today?"

"Crystal taught me how to cross the monkey bars, and I asked her if she wanted to come and play with me and Isaac." He whispered.

"What did she say?" Olivia asked trying desperately to get his mind off of his body.

"She said she had to ask her mom." He whispered.

"Does Crystal get good grades?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, but she said she doesn't have someone like Mrs. Reynoso and that's why during the summer her parents send her back to school 'cause it's cheaper for them."

"Oh…and tell me, what do you like about Crystal other than she talks to you."

"She reads our projects to me so that I don't have to keep asking my aid to, 'because my aid has bad breath and she knows I don't like to talk to her a lot or listen to her talk."

"Crystal sounds like a good girl."

"I like her." Sam smiled softly and rested his head on Olivia's shoulder, "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"My peter doesn't hurt, but it scares me."

"Why does it scare you, honey? It's a normal thing that every little boy goes through…does it hurt you because it's painful or because it's uncomfortable?"

He squirmed, "Uncomfortable."

"I see." She nodded and rubbed his back softly, "Why are you scared?"

He shook his head and hiccupped, "Because when daddy's peter did this…it meant…he was going to make me hurt, if my peter does this…does it mean I have to hurt someone?"

"Absolutely not!" she told him firmly wrapping him in a warm hug, "Remember what we talked about this morning? You are a good little boy…can I ask you something honey?"

"Yeah." He exhaled and wiped his face.

"Did this happen this morning and that's why you were upset?"

He shook his head in agreement.

"Was that the first time?"

He shook his head again and wiped his nose with his hand, "I'm scared, Mom."

"It's normal, honey you're a growing boy and that's what your body does sometimes."

"But no one asked me and I don't like it so much." He informed her innocently.

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Yeah."

"George Huang would like to come and see you again."

Sam furrowed his brow, "Why does he always want to talk to me?"

"Well, your daddy and I asked him to, it might help you out with some of the things that make your heart hurt." She assured him, "He's coming tomorrow…do you think you might want to talk to him a little bit, he's a super nice guy and I heard from a little birdie that he's bringing ice cream."

"Do I have to tell him about my peter?" he asked.

Olivia bit back her need to laugh at the nomenclature, "You can tell him about anything you want but, Honey, who taught you to call it that?"

"My first daddy," he whispered, "when he yelled at me he would say, 'show me your peter you little shit' and that's a bad word, I know because I called someone that at school and I got in deep trouble." He told her.

"Ah, I see….well let's change some things, huh?"

"Okay…what?"

"It's not a peter…it's a penis." She told him softly, "And as far as what he called you….that's not you at all, you're my little miracle, remember that, okay?"

"Okay." He agreed.

"And Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"It is a bad word and I hope I never hear you use it."

He smiled "God doesn't want me too, so I don't."

"Good. I'm glad. Sam, you know…your daddy, Elliot, he would never hurt you and if this happens again…you can talk to him."

Sam ran his hands forward and back through his hair, "He won't hurt me?"

"Nope."

"Won't laugh?"

"Nope."

"Won't make me feel his pete…um…penis?"

Olivia almost vomited at the concept. How could someone actually do that to a child as innocent as he was? She let a tear fall, bent her head and kissed him softly, "Absolutely not. No. Not ever."

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"Everything go alright in there?" Elliot asked as Isaac walked over his body, tumbling here and there and laughing at each fall onto the mattress.

"That was...that was, the worse conversation I have ever had to have."

"I was surprised you wanted to." He told her as she stretched out over the bed and watched her son roll to one side and then the next between them.

"I didn't realize what was wrong, until I started taking to him." She exhaled "I had no idea what to do for the little guy and I felt like crap." She confessed.

"He okay, though?"

"Yeah, I stayed with him until he fell back asleep, it happened this morning too and that was what he was so scared about."

"Oh…man, he's been through so much."

"I told him he could come to you…I hope that's okay because I have no idea what to do for him except talk to him about something else until he settled."

Elliot exhaled and watched Isaac curiously inspect Olivia's monitor and follow the wires until they disappeared under her shirt, "There's nothing you can do, Liv other than talk him through it, 'cause with little boys, it's not connected to lust or desire like it is men. I'm sorry to say it, but he's in store for a lot of those wake up calls."

"Well," She chuckled softly, "He told me that no one asked him about it and he's not so sure he likes it."

"Did you tell him he will in about ten years?"

"No…I'll deal with one can of worms at a time." She laughed and steeled immediately when Isaac kneeled in front of her and looked directly into her eyes, "Hi." Olivia whispered, "How are you, Son?" she asked and had to fight tears when Isaac simply leaned his head down, giggled and kissed her cheek before falling backwards and wrestling with himself, rolling her and there as a happy toddler should, "Did you see that?" Olivia whispered through her tears, "My son just kissed me."

Elliot laughed softly, "I saw it, and I'm jealous that he gets to." He whispered and leaned in to kiss her other cheek softly she turned instantly and kissed Elliot passionately on the mouth, her fingertips on his jaw as Isaac crawled his way back to them and kneeled in front of their lip lock giggling as if he's just met Sponge Bob himself.

"I think we have an onlooker." Elliot whispered breaking the kiss and adding a chaste one for good measure.

Olivia laughed and sat up to pull her son close; tickling him playfully and hearing his laugh resonate through the room. Elliot looked on at his wife and son, watched them rekindle a bond that seemed to have survived a long separation between the two. When the phone rang he kissed Olivia's forehead and got up to answer it.

"Stablers, this is Elliot…Cap…yeah, what's up?...already….no, no I'll tell her, hey, thanks for staying on top of it for us, we just wanted to spend time with Isaac….alright, bye."

"What's up?" Olivia asked between raspberries.

Elliot looked at her and exhaled, "Cragen just called…he wants us to observe the questioning of the woman who was with Isaac in the cellar."

Olivia steeled, knowing this moment was coming, "When?"

"Tomorrow morning."

A/N: Okay, just because i know i probably ruffled a few feathers, I AM NOT going to write Sam so that he abuses Isaac. But this response, to his body was sure to happen i think. And if i got some stuff wrong on it, so sorry, but i was not about to put anything like that in a search engine on the internet and have the FBI at my door for child porn. I like L&O:SVU but i'm not looking to have an episode based on me! LOL. Alrigt boys and girls next chapter should be fun.


	26. Chapter 26 Shattered

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 26 Shattered

A/N: There is a line in here that someone used in a review (You know who you are) I deleted the review and I can't remember who to give props to. But I liked it so I flat out stole it…LOL please don't be mad, what can I say, you were a genius and I like the genius I saw! Thanks!

SORRY! For not putting the warning up on the last chapter. In my mind I know that the warning was on the first chapter that the ratings would occasionally go higher than T. Well, this could be one of those chapters…I don't know, lets see what my fingers and this keyboard creates…aaanndd ACTION!

Elliot gently removed Olivia's arms from around his waist as she slept peacefully next to him, her lips curled into a smile that he hadn't seen while she slept, since Isaac was taken. He kissed her tenderly on the cheek and slipped out of the bed. He padded quietly through the house and slowly pushed the door to Sam and Isaac's room open.

He smiled looking down at Sam and Tripod snuggled tight against each other in the early morning light. Tripod offering one opened eye and then a small growl as Elliot inched closer to Isaac. In a moment, Tripod was on his paws, teeth bared in a soft yet mean growl, hair standing on end, ears back ready to pounce.

"Tripod!" Elliot hissed and raised his hand palm out, "Cease!"

Tripod bowed his head and let out a nervous whimper as Elliot went to Isaac, brushed his knuckle softly across his cheek and bowed to kiss him affectionately as he slept next to the stuffed animal Sam had bought for him. Elliot pulled the comforter over his body, kissed him tenderly again and smiled before returning to Sam. He laughed to himself and pulled a wipie from the nightstand, delicately passing it over Sam's face and removing the steady stream of drool as Tripod kept a suspicious eye on him.

Elliot kissed Samuel and whispered softly in his ear, "You're a good boy," And made his way to check the locks on the window taking note that the sun was barely peeking over the horizon, before looking back one last time at his boys. He grinned and extended his hand slowly to Tripod, "You're a pissy little thing aren't you?" he whispered, rubbing the dogs ear affectionately and kissing Tripod's head, "Wouldn't have you any other way," he whispered, "keep an eye on them Tri." He smiled and walked out of the room.

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Elliot grinned seeing that his wife slept in full extension of her body, a posture that, just like her smile, he hadn't seen since Isaac left. She slept soundly with her head snuggled into his pillow, her arm draped lazily over it, her blankets and sheet bunched down at her feet, long tan legs exposed. He pulled his t-shirt off, knowing skin to skin torture was simply more fun than clothed; he kneeled on the bed kissing the hollow point of her ankle and trailing his tongue along the muscle of her calf only to tongue and kiss softly on the back of her knee.

She stirred slightly and brought her legs into a curl, turning on her back, resting her hand over her belly. In her sleep, she'd just given him free access to her body, a free pass to tease her relentlessly. Life is good.

"I know you're awake, Liv" He whispered over her skin, "quit faking."

"I'm not faking." She whispered then chuckled, "Oops…I guess I gave it away."

"Yeah, ya did." He grinned and kissed her lips softly, before kissing her chin and trailing his tongue along the column of her neck.

"I was only faking after you got to my knee, I promise." She whispered through a smile, "You took your shirt off?" She grinned touching his chest with her eyes closed, "Your not going to make love to me are you?"

"Maybe…" he smiled kissing the rise of her breast, "Then again; maybe not…I haven't decided yet."

"Ah," she laughed as he made his way along her body, "So what you're telling me is, I went to bed being tortured…only to wake up being tortured?"

He grinned seductively at her as he rubbed this thumb over her nipple, feeling it rise through her camisole, "Exactly."

"Mmm." She closed her eyes and arched her back softly, savoring his touch, "So then, I suppose, my pouty lip didn't do anything to sway you last night?"

"Nope." He grinned, "If anything," He whispered rubbing himself into her deeper, "It only spurred me on."

She gasped, "El, this isn't fair."

"Who said I was trying to be fair?" he asked running his fingertips over her chest, down her abdomen and still further until he allowed them to rest at her waistband.

"Don't you dare." She hissed.

He followed the seem of her panties with his finger, followed from the outside of her hips to the inside of her thigh and gently moved them aside stroking her softly, surprised that she was already ready for him, "What were you dreaming about, Liv?" he smirked, "Me?"

"Mmm. None of your business." She chuckled then hissed again when he ran his fingertip over her sensitive flesh.

"I have my ways of making you talk…do you really want to go there again?"

"Depends," She panted, "I had a pretty fulfilling dream…maybe I don't need you."

He moved over her core again teasingly, and smiled as she arched off of the mattress, head back, lips parted, "Oh, you need me," he whispered, making his way back to her belly and kissing her softly, "I assure you…you not only need me, but you want me."

She groaned, caressed his head with her hands, "This is cruelty."

"Yes it is." He agreed and kissed her lips, nipping and pulling playfully at her bottom. He was just about to rub into her again when he suddenly found himself being pinned under her body; her eyes peering down at his, dark with desire as she secured his hands and rubbed herself into him.

"Rule number one of foreplay." She whispered into his ear before pulling away, kissing him seductively on his mouth and leaning down to his other ear, "Never give me enough room to move…you've got to keep me cornered." She smiled against him, nibbled on his ear lobe and trailed along his jaw before sitting back on his hips.

He supported his weight on his elbows and smiled up at her, "Seems someone has her confidence back…and then some, huh?"

She eyed him, offered a smirk before leaning forward and pulling his elbows out from under him, forcing him back to the mattress. She smiled over him, kissed him teasingly, "You have no idea how confident I am right now, Sir."

"Sir?" he grinned, "Well, tell me, Ma'am…do you have any other rules?"

"I do." She told him bending to kiss his chest, sucking gently on his nipple and moving further down, alternating between kissing, nipping and biting.

"Tell me rule number two Liv." He said huskily, "I want to know."

She hooked her index fingers into his waist band, both just under his belly button, before looking up and smiling at him recklessly, "Rule number two of foreplay," she told him as she moved her fingers under the waist band to each of his hips and yanked the boxers down to his thighs, a low chuckle was her offering as he stared at her with raised brows and slacked jaw, "Is to do it to the best of your ability, Mr. Stabler." She told him before crawling back up his body and purposefully rubbing her heat against his naked shaft, smiling as he sucked in air, threw his head back and held tightly to her hips.

She stretched her body over him and framed his face in her hands, "What's wrong Detective? Too much for you?"

He groaned as she continued to rock her hips over him, he made every effort to swallow the desire to have her but, when she reached down and moved her panties so he collided with her heat, all rules of engagement were thrown out the door when he quickly rolled her back to the bed and pulled her panties down and off, discarding them wherever they fell, "Is there a third rule?" he asked walking back up her body and resting against her, careful of her abdomen.

She locked eyes with him, "Yeah." She whispered and sat up forcing him back to his knees as she pulled her camisole off, "Rule number three states, that you'd better finish what you start." She whispered and lowered herself back to the bed as she pulled him over her.

"And if I don't?" He asked teasing her with his erection and groaning with his own pleasure, "You feel so amazing, Liv." He told her before she could respond.

She bit her lip in an effort to control her own desire and desperate need to have him inside of her, but in an instant she decided she couldn't consume him like she wanted, instead, she pinned him again, "See there?" She whispered rubbing her hips into him, feeling his hardness against her heat, "You gave me too much room, you didn't corner me, you've got to work on that." She smiled, "Want to know rule number four?" she asked positioning herself so that she felt the tip of him rest at her entrance.

He moaned, kissed her with everything he had until he couldn't breath, he tried to thrust into her to which she held his hips, "No." She smiled, "Do you want to know the last rule?" she asked again careful not to lower herself to him.

"Yeah…yeah, just tell me." He gasped.

She smiled and whispered into his ear, "Turn about is fair play, Sucker." She kissed him chastely and quickly moved off the bed standing with a grin of victory, "What's wrong El? You look a little…stunned." she teased and shook her head as she walked into the restroom, "Better get ready, we have to be at the sta-" She steeled instantly when he came from behind and rubbed into her, kissing her and palming her breast as he stroked her once and then smiled against her neck.

"Was that really all you had for payback?"

She turned and raised a brow at him, "You know…with all of this foreplay, I'm pretty sure I could shoot you and get off on an insanity plea."

"Answer my question." He told her kissing the underside of her chin and delicately running his hands along her sides, up to the curvature of perfect breasts.

"Who said that was payback for last night?" She asked running her hand over his hair and whimpering as he rubbed into her, controlling her body at her hips and sliding effortlessly against her.

"Then what was it for?" He stopped his movements a little stunned with her answer.

She smiled, smacked his side playfully, "That was for waking me up from my dream…I got to get the boys ready." She winked and kissed him on the cheek before pulling on his boxers and donning her robe, "Hey, El?"

"Yeah?" he answered sheepishly.

"I still want you…just so you know." She smiled and walked down the hall to the boy's room.

"Sam?" She whispered walking in and sitting softly on his bed, "Honey, wake up." She said shaking him softly until he suddenly sat up.

"Mom?"

"Yeah? Hey, did I scare you?"

"No." He grinned, "Is my broth…er…is Isaac awake? I want to help him get ready."

"Honey," she spoke softly and caressed his face, "why don't you want to call him 'brother' any more?"

"Because," He exhaled, "I don't want to hurt him, Mom."

"Sweetie," She smiled and rested her forehead against his, "We talked about this, and we both agreed that you're a good boy…you can call him brother. Isaac is your brother and he's gonna need a big strong brother like you to help him out…he's been through a lot."

"A lot…like me?" he asked.

"Well…he's had a lot of stress, and he's a little unfamiliar with the house and us." She exhaled, "Honey, I'm not exactly sure what he's been through, Captain Cragen is gonna help us find out today, but in the meantime, Isaac needs someone to show him the ropes."

"We don't have ropes."

"No…I mean, he needs someone to show him how we work together here in the house, he needs to know that he's safe and loved by all of us."

"But…what if I hurt him?" Sam asked softly, "I don't want to hurt anyone." He told her again.

"Honey, can I be really honest with you."

"Yeah."

"You have to talk to me if you don't understand what I'm going to tell you okay?"

"Okay."

"You will hurt Isaac." She said softly and caressed his face when his eyes watered, "But not the way you think…not how your father hurt you."

He shook his head, "I don't understand you, Mom."

"You guys are brothers now, and sometimes you might not get along, and sometimes you might get in arguments or fights with Isaac, and both of you might get your feelings hurt…but I know you won't hurt him on purpose and I know you wont do anything to him like your father did to you."

"But-"

"There are no buts here, honey. I know that you're a good boy; I know that you're safe for Isaac just like your daddy and I are safe for you, so if you want to call him brother…call him that. It's okay."

Sam exhaled, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and worried his bottom lips, "Can I get…my brother ready, like yesterday?"

"Sure." She grinned, "But let's get you ready for school first, and let him sleep a bit more, huh?"

"Okay." He grinned and let her help him off of the bed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, Sam." Elliot smiled and took his seat at the breakfast table, "How did you sleep?"

"Good." Sam shook his head, "Isaac is still sleeping." He informed him.

"Ah, good to know." Elliot smiled and looked over to Olivia in the kitchen, "And what, may I ask, is your mother cooking us for dinner?"

"I don't know…food I guess." Sam said matter of fact.

Olivia chuckled to herself and placed a plate of breakfast in front of Elliot and a smaller plate in front of Sam, "Alright, Son." She smiled, "Eggs at one O'clock, toast at six, and ham at nine. Orange Juice is where your water usually is."

"Thanks, Mom." He smiled, "Dad, this is what she fixed us." She told him with a smirk and started to eat his meal with his father.

Olivia had just sat down to eat when the door bell rang. She covered her mouth as she chewed, "I'll get it."

"No. No, sit down." Elliot told her standing to his feet and kissing her forehead, "Enjoy your breakfast while it's warm."

She smiled, "Thank you."

Elliot scrubbed his hand over his face and peered through the peephole confused by what he saw, "Liv?" He called back to her.

"Yeah?" She replied around a bite of eggs.

"Are we expecting suits?"

She furrowed her brow, "Not that I know of, no. Why?"

Elliot looked out the peephole again and forgot to answer her as he opened the door, "Can I help you?"

"Is this the Stabler Residence?"

"Depends on who you are, I suppose." Elliot replied folding his arms over his chest.

"My apologies," and older gentleman stepped forward and extended his hand, "I'm Colin Hansen and this is Mick Pellon, were attorneys from Rhindlisbacher and Johnson."

"Attorneys?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "What is it that you want?" he asked in suspicion and felt Olivia's arm around his waist as she stared at the men in equal confusion.

"Are you the Stabler's?" The attorney asked again.

"Who wants to know?" Olivia asked with a cocked brow.

Colin chuckled, "He's right, you two don't like attorneys. I'll go ahead and assume that you are the Stablers."

"Who's _he_?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "Someone had better start talking or this door is gonna close in about two seconds." He warned.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stabler, we represent John Munch…I'm sorry to tell you this, but, he has passed away as of yesterday morning."

Olivia took a step back as if the wind had just been knocked out of her, "There must be a mistake."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, there's not…his nursing staff kept in close contact with us during his final days...we're here to go over his will and get paperwork together." Colin said compassionately.

"I'm confused." Elliot shook his head, "Isn't everyone supposed to be here for the reading of the will?"

"Sir," Mick interjected, "You and your family…are everyone."

"What?" Olivia shook her head, "I mean, I know that we have power of attorney, but…he never said anything about a will."

"He was paranoid at best." Mick smiled and motioned to the living room with his brief case, "May we?"

"Our sons are here." Olivia whispered bowing her head, "I don't want them to hear."

"Liv," Elliot exhaled and kissed her temple softly, "its okay, go ahead and take them into the office, I'll get Sam and Isaac situated."

"He'll be late for school." She furrowed her brow. Avoidance. She was avoiding the fact that one of her friends had just passed away and there was nothing she could have done for him.

"It's okay, Olivia." He reminded her and kissed her temple softly, "Take them into the office; I'll be there in a second."

She shook her head slowly and led the two men down the hall and into the office. After several minutes of stunned silence Elliot quietly walked into the room and stood against the wall allowing Olivia to remain seated while one of the attorneys stood. "Was it…painful? Did he go fast?" She asked in a small whisper.

"From my understanding…he passed in his sleep, he didn't take chemo."

"He would have been pissed to loose his hair." Elliot smiled sadly.

"We want him flown home." Olivia cleared her throat, "His body…bring him home."

"Ma'am-"

"Olivia." She corrected swiping a tear quickly.

Mick exhaled and leaned forward, "There were no funeral plans-"

"I'm making one right now." She told him calmly, "He was a good cop and he deserves a cop's funeral…fly him home." She told them again.

"Ma'a…er…Olivia," Colin interrupted and looked up at Elliot, "The cost to fly a body back to the states is enormous."

"Fly him home." Elliot instructed, "We'll pay the cost…just get him back home as soon as you can."

Mick and Colin both shook their heads, "Very well," Colin obliged, "I'll make a phone call as soon as we're done…it'll take about a week."

"That's fine." Olivia whispered, "What else do you need?" she asked leaning forward, her elbows on her thighs, "El, the boys?"

"They're fine, Sam is ready, I told him to keep an ear out for Isaac and knock on the door if he wakes up." Elliot explained knowing she was trying desperately to keep her composure, "I called Cragen…the meeting that we had this morning is being postponed."

She swallowed and nodded her head absently, "Okay."

"We should get started." Mick suggested and withdrew legal papers from his briefcase.

"Should we have representation?" Elliot asked rubbing Olivia's back gently.

"No…not unless you're going to contest, and I assure you…there's really nothing to contest." The attorney smiled, "And began to read the will."

"I'm sorry." Olivia cut him off, "I can't hear this…can you…can you please just get to what you need?"

Mick sat back and smiled softy before leaning forward and handing Elliot the will, "He left everything he had to you two."

"Excuse me?" Elliot furrowed his brow and flipped through the paperwork, "There must be some mistake…he had other wives."

"Yes he did." The lawyer smiled, "But apparently no one as important as you two are…he made it very clear that everything went to you…the pension…the apartment…the loft, cars…bank accounts…it's all yours, he left it to you."

"Why? And what loft?" Olivia shook her head.

"The loft was his parents...purchased almost twenty years ago." Collin explained.

"He said he didn't have anyone else to give it too…at least not anyone that mattered and that he wanted to make sure you guys were ready when you got your son back…I'm not sure what that meant, but…he was pretty cryptic about everything." Mick chuckled.

Colin pulled out another legal brief, "We just need signatures to make everything final, there's a short waiting period, but other than that your good…he gave you power of attorney, so everything that is in his name, you have access too until this is finalized."

"He must really love you two." Mick smiled sadly, "We'll try and bring him home as soon as possible." He assured them.

"Your fee?" Elliot asked wiping moisture from his eyes, "I know that it cost an arm and a leg for you to make a home visit…how much do we owe you?"

"Nothing." Mick waved his hand in the air, "Mr. Munch took care of everything, he didn't want to be a burden to you."

Papers were signed, hands were shook and lawyers were escorted to the front door, a business card passed to Elliot in case they had any questions or needed help with any of the property or finances. Olivia closed the door, rested her forehead against it and sniffled. Elliot pulled her back to him and rubbed her back tenderly as he kissed her through her hair, "He was a good man." Elliot whispered, "I think he deserves a cop's funeral too."

"Yeah." She whispered and wiped her face, "The boys? It's too quiet in here; Sam's got to be up to something." She chuckled softly and kept her hand linked with his as she walked to their sons' room and stopped at the door seeing Sam leaning on the rail of Isaac's bed as Isaac sucked quickly on a bottle.

"Did you tell him to feed him?" Olivia whispered wiping the excess moisture from her face.

"No." Elliot smiled, "But he had helped me with a bottle last night…maybe he remembered."

She leaned her head on his shoulder and listened to Sam talk to his brother, "Mom, says you need someone to show you the ropes. We don't have ropes but I can tell you important things." Sam told him softly, "Um, a really big thing is to never believe that you're alone, because you got me. I'm your big brother and you got dad and mom." Isaac stared up at him holding his bottle and eating as he continued to talk.

"If you wet your pants," Sam told him, "remember that everyone has accidents, even daddy and he's a policeman."

Elliot grinned and pulled Olivia closer to him as they watched Sam give the run down, "You can't run into the road, no matter how sad you are…because it makes Mom really scared. I think it makes Dad sad too." Sam told him.

Isaac rolled over to his side, holding the nipple between his teeth and standing up leaning out for Sam. Olivia tried to step forward not sure if Sam would be capable of dealing with him on his own. "Wait." Elliot mouthed to her, "Let's watch." She relaxed and continued to watch her sons interact with one another.

"Now Dad," Sam told Isaac as he instinctively wrapped one arm around his tiny waist and smiled as Isaac playfully pawed his face, "He's a really nice Dad, and he loves us both, I know because sometimes I hear him in your old room, he use to cry that you weren't with us…he cried a lot." Sam told him, "That's how I know he loves you, and I think he cries for me, 'cause sometimes I don't know how to love him real good…but I got a lot of years to learn." Sam informed him.

Olivia looked up at Elliot and carefully wiped his tears with her thumb and kissed him softly on the corner of his mouth.

"Dad, he can put on a goatee and he can take it off." He told him, "And his face will feel different, mom's face always feels the same. Mom is very pretty." Sam told him, "She has big eyes and dad says that they are rich like chocolate but soft like flowers, and I know mom loves you too because when she told me about you, her heart hurt and her voice hurt." He told his little brother who began to fuss slightly.

Sam felt for the bottle, "Still hungry?" he asked and shook the bottle by his ear, "No, you still got stuff in there." He told him, "Are you wet? I can get mom, because I don't want to change your diaper, only mom and dad should do that." He told him matter of factly, "Because I don't like people to see me without my clothes, I don't think you would either." He told him, "I got lots of friends but I'm not allowed to call them before ten O'clock on the weekends, that's Mom's rule, I don't so much like it, but Mom is nice and she let's me call after ten O'clock."

Olivia smiled to herself, and felt Elliot's lips brush her temple softly as Sam tentatively felt about Isaac's face as the little boy moved here and there, "Oh, and one more important thing, Isaac…mom and dad kiss a lot, and it's really gross, because they make weird humming sounds. I just go play Lego's or plug my ears…oh and you need to knock if their door is closed. I'm not sure what happens in there but, sometimes it makes me worry, so you should knock…do you know how to knock?" he asked then pushed his watch to hear the time, "Oh, no…I'm gonna be late for school." He groaned and tried to lay Isaac back onto his pillow, to which Isaac wanted no part of. Not knowing exactly what to do Sam held up his hands palms out like he'd done to command tripod, "Stay Isaac!" he said firmly and turned to walk out. Olivia and Elliot scrambled to get down the hall and slip back into the office.

"Mom?" Sam called, "Mom, I'm gonna be late." He said knocking on the door and popping his head in, "Mom? Dad?"

"Right here honey." Olivia cleared her throat, "We were…uh…just coming to get you."

"Yeah." Elliot chimed in, "What's up."

Sam furrowed his brow, "Your voices are different…are you sad?" He asked stepping into the room and hanging onto the doorknob.

Elliot laughed and picked him up, "Nope!" he lied, truth of the matter was loosing Munch, knowing that he had passed away tore both of them up, but neither one of them wanted to burden a nine year old with the details, "Did you eat all your breakfast?"

"Yeah, and I gave Isaac breakfast, he's awake in his bed."

"Oh," Olivia acted surprised, "I'll go get him ready and we can get you off to school."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do you think Sam knows we were spying on him?" Olivia asked looking over the menu.

"Na, I think he was so wrapped up in Isaac that he wasn't paying attention." Elliot answered as Isaac stood in the booth and played with the napkin.

"El?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we should have Isaac looked at…you know…see if it slowed down his growth. He hasn't said anything since he's been home."

"Well, he's still young, Liv…I didn't really start talking until I was two." He confessed.

"Really?" she smiled, "I didn't know that. But, he's twenty months…shouldn't he be doing more?"

Elliot reached over and held her hand, "Give him some time to adjust…I mean, we can't even get him out in the sun for more than ten minutes…he's gonna be fine. He's eating well, he seems to be taking well to his bed and new room and he likes Sam."

She exhaled and rested her chin in her hand, "I can't believe Munch felt so alone that he would choose to die in a third world country rather than stay with his friends."

"I think…it was more than that." Elliot whispered, "I think he didn't want to be a burden…he may have been a little irritating with the theories, but I think in the long run…he's always had our best interests at heart."

"Yeah." She exhaled and smiled as the waitress took their orders, "El?"

"Yeah?" he answered handing the waitress the menu before she left.

"Thanks for taking me to breakfast."

"Well, you really didn't get to eat your's." he smiled, "And I thought you might want to spend some time away from the house."

"Mmm, I did." She smiled softly and nodded to Isaac who was resting his forehead against the window and watching the cars go by, "Can you pass him to me, please?"

"Sure." He grinned and picked Isaac up passing him to Olivia whose smile brightened instantly.

"Hey, Sweetie." She whispered sitting him on her lap as he reached for anything in front of her. She kissed the top of his head and hugged him gently, "El, do you think he knows that we're his parents?"

Elliot raised his brows and exhaled, "I don't know Liv."

She exhaled and then chuckled when the youngster went limp and slipped out of her lap under the table, "El," She laughed, "Get him, I can't move with this big belly."

Elliot looked under the table as Isaac leaned against the bench seat and smiled at his father, "Come here, Son." He chuckled and extended his hand to which Isaac squealed and took it, being helped to stand back on the booth and look back out the window in curiosity.

"So, you think he ever got to come into the city?" She asked observing her son's fascination with people walking by.

"I don't know…I suppose, when we're able to talk to this woman, we'll know more." He told her, "Cragen said to call him when we want to do it, she's not a suspect, she's a vic but refuses to tell them anything about Isaac or what happened, unless were there."

"Why?" Olivia furrowed her brow and offered a half smiled when the waitress brought their food.

"Don't know." Elliot shrugged.

"El…we're gonna be responsible for telling everyone that Munch…died." She whispered and exhaled, "That's gonna be rough."

"We'll get through it, and so will they." He assured her and raised her hand to his lips, kissing it gently before being interrupted.

"Boo!" came a small shrill as Isaac hid down on the booth and peered over the table top up to his mother.

She paused in shock and then grinned lowering her face in the same manner, "Boo!" she responded back at him surprised, when he stood on the booth again and covered his face with his hands.

"Boo!" he squealed opening his palms and grinning at his mother.

Elliot smiled as Olivia covered her face and mimicked her son, "Boo!"

Isaac laughed and hid next to his fathers arm, his head resting in the crook of his neck as he laughed brighter and pulled away to take Elliot's face in his hands, "Boo!"

Elliot laughed, "Boo!" he grinned and watched as his son turned back to the window and grinned, offering an occasional 'Boo' as people walked by. Elliot's phone eventually rang as Olivia took a drink of her orange juice.

"Stabler," answered and furrowed his brow, "I'm not sure I know you…oh…um, I'm not gonna guarantee anything; my wife has been through a lot and I'm not sure she would want to…okay…what time?...alright, we'll be there if she's up to it…but you'll understand if she's not?...okay, bye." He hung up the phone and looked at Olivia.

"What's up?" She asked, her attention divided between him and her son, "What won't I be ready for?"

Elliot exhaled and rubbed his neck, "Um…apparently, Isaac was found when two animal control officers were trying to confiscate a dog, long story short one of them was shot."

Olivia's eyes widened, "What…happened? Nothing was on the news."

Elliot twitched his lips, "About that…Cragen told me this morning that they are having a news conference later this afternoon, we don't have to be there unless you want to."

"I want to!" She told him emphatically, "I absolutely want too…but that wasn't the call you were talking about was it?"

"No…would you be up to seeing the boy who found Isaac?"

"Absolutely! I want to say thank you!" she told him, "Where is he? When can we talk to him?"

"He's in the hospital."

"What…he's the boy who got shot?"

"Yes…he woke up and he asked for his folks, the dog they were sent out for…and after some things were explained to him…he asked for us."

"You said boy…how old?"

"Eighteen." Elliot whispered as Isaac finally sat down and laid his head against Elliot and yawned.

"We need to go…now." Olivia told him, "It's the least we can do."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Bloody hell, Melinda!" Donovan yelled from the filing room, "What's with your filing system?"

"You're the one in charge of it." She smiled slightly, amused at his impatience.

"Come on!" he groaned, "I'm a genius…I can't work in these conditions!" he teased.

"Genius huh?" she laughed opening a filing cabinet and helping him search for one specific file, "Went and got your self a girlfriend and now you're a genius?"

"Okay," he grinned, "She's not my girlfriend…yet. And I've always been a genius." He reminded her, "You're just too blind to see a good thing when it's right in front of you."

She laughed and closed the top drawer, "I swear Donovan…you're filing system sucks. It doesn't even make since!"

"Yes it does." He told her matter of factly. "Interesting cases are in this one." He said pointing to the file cabinet, "Not so interesting ones are in that one and Jane and John Does are in the little one." He smiled.

"Oh that's great." She smiled, "and tell me, what happens when you have an interesting Jane Doe case?"

He arched his brow, "Well, there in lies the problem, I suppose." He chuckled.

"Donovan!" she groaned, "I need that file."

"Come on, Doll Face," he smiled, "Have I ever let you down?"

"Call me Doll Face again and Chloe is gonna be let down when she discovers I cut your balls off."

He stared at her shocked, "Okay…that was just wrong."

"Find the file Donovan." She told him firmly.

"Alright, alright…Cleo on a business trip?"

"Yeah," She furrowed her brow, "How'd you know."

"The sexual frustration is evident." He told her in fake compassion.

She stared at him but couldn't hide the smirk playing on her lips, "You really like to dig your own hole, don't you?"

"Careful!" he laughed, "Being mean to me will not get you invited to my wedding."

"Your wedding!" She was suddenly intrigued, "I thought she wasn't your girlfriend."

"She's not…but I'm gonna marry her, no doubt." He smiled softly and continued searching for the file.

"She's that great huh?"

"Yep." He grinned, "She's better than great."

"I take it you had breakfast with her this morning again?"

"Nope…coffee, although she prefers iced coffee in the summer time." He smiled, "she's really an amazing girl." He told her, "She wanted to be a pathologist but changed to criminology…I'm sure there's something there…something she's gone through, but she doesn't talk about it."

"You haven't been dating long." Melinda told him softly, "Give her time."

He smiled, "I'll give her all the time she needs, I enjoy her company."

"You kiss her yet?"

He blushed, "A proper man never kisses and tells."

"Oh, stuff that crap!" Melinda scolded, "You kiss her yet or what?"

"No." he replied sheepishly, "I don't want to move too fast."

Melinda grinned, "Holy crap! Who knew you were a gentleman?" she chuckled.

Donovan turned slightly to control his blush, "Oh, duh." He smacked his forehead, "I know where that file is."

"Well, by all means." Melinda held up her hand in a Vanna White movement, "Find it."

He grinned and moved to his desk, "The _really interesting_ stuff…I keep in my desk."

She eyed him in irritation, "It's been in your desk this whole time?"

"Yeah." He smiled and pulled it out.

"Ass."

"Yeah, it's pretty big." He told her with a smirk.

She raised her brow at him, "My ass is not big."

"If that's what lets you sleep at night." He shrugged his shoulders and she pulled a file off the top of his desk and swatted him with it, "Give me the DNA from the file, and watch a real genius, will ya?"

"There's a mirror that I can watch myself in?" He asked following her to the light box, "How cool is that?"

"Shut your hole for three seconds and look at this." She told him, "This is the infant John Doe, that we thought was Johanna Little or Isaac Stabler." She told him pointing to the plastic profile sheet, "and this is a profile from one of the stiffs I recently autopsied…see anything interesting?" she asked looking at the two profiles.

Donovan looked at both, carefully, "You mean," he started to speak as he covered one profile with the other, "besides the fact that they're a match?"

She smiled, "They're a match…a perfect match." She agreed and continued to stare at their findings.

"Who was the stiff?" Donovan asked starring at the profile in shock.

Melinda exhaled, "Nick Ganzner."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Who will keep their eye on Isaac?" Olivia asked as she and Elliot made their way into the hospital, "I don't want to leave him, with just anyone." She told Elliot as Isaac slept on her shoulder.

"You go in and talk to him, I'll keep an eye on Isaac and if you want to switch we can. It'll be okay." He assured her and was about to say more when he was interrupted.

"Are you Mr. And Mrs. Stabler?" an older, sweeter voice approached them.

"Yes, may we help you?" Elliot asked in confusion.

"We're Patrick's folks…he's been asking to see you." She smiled, "I'm Patty this is my husband Rick…that's why we named him Patrick." She grinned, "He's a good boy."

"He saved my son." Olivia whispered stroking Isaac's back, "I'd say he's a hero."

Patty's eyes swelled with tears as Rick put his arm around her waist, "He almost didn't make it." Rick whispered, choking on his own tears, "He…ironically, he's been wanting to be a cop since he was knee high to a grasshopper."

Elliot smiled, "He's got my vote…where is he?"

"Right there." Rick whispered and pointed the way, "He's in there with his buddy form the SPCA, but I know he'd like to see you both…and your son."

Olivia smiled and she and Elliot both walked in with Isaac to see a man perhaps in his very early twenties sitting in a chair talking to Patrick, "Dude," he smiled, "All I'm saying is next time watch where the hell you're stepping."

Patrick let out a painful laugh and held his wound, "Ah, Dude, stop…hurts."

"Such a wussy lala." Vern smiled then grew serious, "You scared the crap out of me you ass hole."

"Pleasure was all mine." Patrick whispered weakly and then locked eyes with Olivia over his shoulder. Vern noticed his facial expression and turned slowly.

"Hello." Vern smiled softly and extended his hand, "You must be the Stablers."

"We are." Olivia whispered and absently shook his hand as she looked at the young man in the bed.

Vern nodded to his partner, "This shot up individual is Patrick O'Hare." He chuckled softly as Patrick rolled his eyes, "He's a good guy." Vern said softly, "I'll leave you all alone."

"Vern." Patrick wheezed his name.

"Yeah, Dude?"

"The dog…what happened?"

"He's got as many I.V's in him as you do…but the vet say's we got him in time, I thought I might adopt him, name him Lucky or something cliché."

"Cliché?" Pat smiled, "You don't even know what that means."

Vernon smiled, "Don't bust my balls." He muttered and walked out.

"Thank you for coming." Pat muttered weakly.

"Thank you for having us." Olivia answered absorbing the young man in front of her, the lines of his face, his weak smile, "Thank you…you have no idea what you did."

"Um," he chuckled lightly, "Actually Vern filled me in. I tripped a wire and got myself shot."

"You saved our son." Elliot interjected, "We thank you so much."

"I assure you." He drew downcast, "It wasn't intentional…I'm sorry, your son had to hear what happened."

"He's young." Olivia assured him, "He won't remember."

Pat looked at the sleeping boy, "Is he okay?"

"He's…adjusting." Elliot told him softly.

"I'm sorry." Pat whispered and bowed his head to hide his glassy eyes.

"Sorry?" Olivia shook her head, "For what?"

"I should have asked if she was alone…I…I didn't hear what she was saying. I didn't pay enough attention." He shook his head.

"Hey." Elliot took hold of his hand, "You did an amazing thing…to save a strangers life, is the ultimate call of being a cop…you did that, you've got my recommendation." Elliot smiled, "Don't beat your self up…you're an amazing kid and because you did what you did, I have my son back…I couldn't be more appreciative of you…or more proud."

Pat smiled softly, "Thank you…it means a lot. I thought you might be upset for him having heard the shot."

Olivia sat softly on the edge of the bed, "We're not upset, not at all. In fact…would you like to hold him?"

Patrick's eyes widened and he looked between Elliot and Olivia; "Please?" he whispered and pushed the button to make his bed rise, Olivia rested her sleeping son carefully into his arms and smiled as Patrick took to him instantly.

"You have little brothers or sisters?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah…three." He smiled, "Kids are incredible."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We don't have to do the news conference if you don't want to Liv." Elliot assured her, reaching over to the passenger seat of the Mustang and holding her hand.

"I think we should." She assured him taking a quick glance into the backseat at Isaac who was sleeping soundly in his car seat, "I think that it would be good to show people that we weren't crushed, we got through it and were still solid."

"Should we take the boys?" Elliot asked keeping an eye on the front door of the school as children began to trickle out.

Olivia bit her lip, "Alex said she would watch them, she had a doctor's appointment so she's at home today."

"Doctor?" Elliot arched his brow and grinned, "Think she might be pregnant?"

"I don't know, Elliot." Olivia laughed, "Do I look like her OB?"

"No…but you look really sexy." He smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Don't start." She blushed, "Our son is sleeping in the back seat and were in front of a school."

"Shucks." Elliot laughed and then steeled looking up, "Why is Sam running? He's gonna hurt himself." Elliot hissed as he jumped out of the car and ran across the lawn to meet his son, "Sam!" Elliot laughed seeing the young boys smile, "Hey, buddy, no running if someone isn't next to you, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sam panted, "Where's Mom?"

"In the car, what? I don't get a hug, hello?"

Sam grinned and hugged his father who picked him up effortlessly, "How was school?"

"Dad!" Sam groaned, "Put me down…I'm a big boy."

"Oh. Right." Elliot frowned and put him down allowing him to take his hand, "I got good news for you, Sam."

"I got better news." Sam told him excitedly, "Where's Mom?"

"I told you, she's in the car."

"Come on." Sam grinned and pulled his father along, "Where?"

"Fifteen more feet. She's standing outside of the car and waiting for her hug."

Sam grinned and chuckled, "Hi, Mom." He laughed against her belly as he hugged her.

"Hey," Olivia rubbed his back softly, "Someone has his happy pants on, huh?"

"I got good news!" he laughed and tossed his backpack onto the rear floor bed as Olivia helped him into the car.

"Put your seatbelt on honey." She cautioned and took her seat as Elliot slid into the driver's seat and started the car.

"So," Olivia grinned and folded down the vanity mirror to look at Sam as Elliot pulled into traffic, "Sam, are you gonna tell us your news?"

"I'll show you my news." He grinned and rummaged in his backpack retrieving an envelope and stretching to tap Olivia's shoulder with it, "Here, here read this, hurry."

"Hey," Olivia smiled, "Care to rephrase that?"

"Sorry- Mom, can you please read that, quick?"

"Certainly." She smiled and gave a glance to Elliot who was waiting just as impatiently as Sam was.

"Sam, your mother is torturing us, Son."

"I know." Sam groaned.

"Alright, alright, calm down boys…oh Sam." Olivia smiled at the invitation, "Wow, Crystal invited you to her birthday party?"

"Yeup." Sam grinned.

"Are you excited?" Elliot laughed knowing full well he was.

"Yeup." Sam shook his head slowly and rested it on the back seat, "I got a real friend now, Mom." He whispered and yawned, "And she's nice." Olivia closed the envelope and smiled taking hold of Elliot's hand again and looking out the window.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"What was your news?"

"Oh, right I almost forgot." Elliot chuckled, turning the vehicle left and pulling up to Alex's place. "Alex said she'd sure like a visitor today."

"I could visit." Sam told them with a smile.

"Sure could." Elliot grinned, "And that's why you're spending a couple of hours with her."

"Me and Isaac?"

Olivia watched Elliot as he looked back at her, "I don't know, Sam." Elliot spoke softly knowing Olivia wasn't willing to let him out of her sight, "That might be too many handsome boys for Alex to handle at once."

"She's a big girl." Sam informed him as Olivia helped him out of the car, "And I can help with Isaac."

"Well see, honey." Olivia assured him as they made their way to Alex's front door.

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"I'm sorry, I couldn't part with him. Not again." Olivia muttered holding tightly to Elliot's hand as they made their way down the sidewalk to the precinct with Isaac securely on her hip.

"I know." Elliot assured her, "But, Sam really wants to be the big brother, and Alex was more than happy to take Isaac and Sam…he'd be in good hands." He assured her.

"I know…I'm just not ready for that yet." She told him softly.

They broke contact as they made their way up the steps and Olivia smiled to herself knowing that, while they were husband and wife, best friends and dynamic partners, when it came to the job, they were themselves, strong, stubborn and skillful. That's what made them, their ability to work together as partners, as great cops, and their ability to be vulnerable with one another as soon as they clocked out for the day.

"Hey!" Mac grinned seeing them come into the bullpen, "So good to see you two." He smiled, "My partner is going nuts."

"Fin?" Elliot tilted his head, "Serious?"

"Yeah…I think not having you guys around bothers him, but of course, he'll never admit that."

"Bite me." Fin smacked his lips, "How ya doing Liv?" Fin smiled and embraced her warmly, "How's the kid?" he asked running his hand gently over Isaac's cheek.

"Which one?" She grinned rubbing her belly, "I've got four to choose from?"

Fin shrugged his shoulders and smiled, "Give me the low down on all four then."

"Well, Sam just got his first birthday invite. I just learned that Isaac, here, likes to play peek-a-boo, and Malachi and Isabel, here," She grinned rubbing her belly, "well they keep me up all night, force me to use the restroom about a thousand times a day and I can't eat my favorite foods because they don't seem to like it." She grinned and kissed Isaac softly, "But I couldn't be happier with them."

Fin chuckled, "Good to know. So, you're having girls?"

"No." Elliot shook his head, "We're having boys, and Liv is just too stubborn to admit it."

Olivia smirked at fin, "Girls, trust me."

"Benson-Stabler…I…I'm glad you came." Cragen said walking out of his office as he perused a file, "you don't have to do this." He told them softly as he stared into precious baby blue eyes, "He's a striking boy." He whispered with a small smile.

"We want to." Elliot assured him, "I think it will be good for us."

Cragen nodded in understanding, "Do you want to issue a statement or would you rather let me do the talking…it's the press and they're gonna push."

"Maybe we will," Olivia shrugged, "We haven't really thought about it to be honest."

"Okay, well," Cragen looked at his watch, "We're on…we've got to meet Casey on the steps and the media vultures should already be gathering."

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Olivia took a deep breath as Elliot laced his fingers with hers and gently rubbed her knuckles as they looked out into a sea of hungry reporters, "How are the babies?" He whispered in an effort to get her mind off of the people seeking intimate knowledge of their family.

"Good." She whispered back, resting her head against his temple, "The monitor has been steady for awhile now...do you think Mac will be okay to watch Isaac?"

Elliot smiled against her, kissed her softly on her forehead, "It'll only be for a few minutes. I love you."

"I love you-"

"-Captain is this about the precinct shooting?"

"-Captain have you found the Stabler Baby?"

"-Captain what about the fa-"

Cragen stepped up to the microphone, "If you all would, please, be quiet, I'll be happy to issue a statement that will most likely answer several of your questions." He waited until a hush fell over the gathering of people and Elliot and Olivia assured him they were ready with Fin and Casey flanking them both.

Cragen opened the file on the podium and cleared his throat, "Two days ago," he began softly then grew more confident, "Two Animal Control officers fielded a call of a distressed animal. During the course of their investigation one Animal Control officer was shot-"

"-Captain, why is SVU investigation animal cruelty?" one reporter asked anxiously.

Cragen took in a deep breath to avoid snapping at the reporter, "Let me get through my statement and I'll answer your questions." He told the antsy reporter, "EMS arrived on scene in a timely manner as well as police officers who later discovered a young woman and small child trapped in a basement type enclosure-"

"-Captain, is this the Stabler Baby?"

Cragen raised his hand again, "Both people were immediately removed and taken to the hospital where they have recovered just fine. Are they're any questions?"

Olivia tightened her grip on Elliot's hand as hands flew up and questions were asked at once, Cragen pointed to one member, "Yes, go ahead."

"Captain Cragen," and older female smiled softly, "We are all aware of Detectives Benson and Stabler standing behind you…is this the Stabler baby?"

Cragen turned to Elliot and Olivia to gather their approval before returning to the crowd, "Yes. The young child that was found is in fact, Isaac Stabler."

An immediate flurry of conversation began among the members of press as they wrote frantically on note pads, held up recorders for better access and tried to get Cragen's attention, "Captain!" another one yelled, "What happened to the Animal Control officer who was shot?"

"I will not release his name to you, but he his expected to make a full recovery and from what I hear he wants to become a cop." Cragen chuckled softly.

"Would you hire him?" A reporter asked almost jokingly.

Cragen eyed him seriously, "I'd be honored to work with him."

"How is the Stabler Baby?" A reporter asked.

"My son has a name." Olivia suddenly stepped forward to the microphone, "He has a name." She whispered into the microphone, causing the reporters to hush instantly.

"Detective Benson-"

"Mrs. Stabler." She corrected softly but encouraged the reporter to continue.

"How does it feel to have your son…er…Isaac, home after a thirteen months absence?"

She grinned quietly and leaned into the microphone, "Some feelings…you can't put into words."

"Try." The reporter urged her on, "If you had to pick one word, what would it be."

"Wow." Olivia grinned as Elliot joined her at the podium.

"He likes to play peek-a-boo." Elliot chuckled, "It's good to have him home, asleep in his own bed where he belongs."

"Detective Stabler, can you tell us if this is connected to the precinct shooting?"

Elliot looked at Cragen and then the reporter, "I can't answer that…it's out of my pay grade." He smiled, "If you'll excuse us, we want to get back to our boys."

"What about Richard White!" a voice came from the back of the crowd, "How do you feel about him?"

Olivia froze mid stride and turned back to the microphone, "Excuse me?" She asked searching the crowd for the voice, finding that it came from a middle aged man, with a khaki vest and wire rimmed glasses, "Can you repeat your question please?" Olivia spoke in an unsure voice as she tried to size up rather or not this reporter was legit or a tabloid writer.

"Julian Tures, from The Enquirer." He responded to her, "My question was-"

"Mr. Tures." Olivia smiled softly, "With all do respect, Sir, please don't turn what my family has been through into a tabloid fiasco."

He smiled at her cockily, "It's a legitimate publishing, please answer my question, how do you feel about Richard White's reduced sentence?"

"Come again?" Elliot tilted his head in curiosity.

"Where did you receive your information Mr. Tures?" Cragen stepped forward.

"I can't reveal my source Captain," Tures shrugged, "but from your reaction, is it safe to say you weren't informed?"

Cragen stared at the members of the media and bowed his head quickly, "This conference is over, thank you."

"Captain!" the crowed erupted again as Casey and Fin ushered Olivia and Elliot back into the security of the precinct.

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"Where's Mac?" Olivia asked as soon as she entered the bullpen.

"He's upstairs in the child interview room." A passing detective informed her.

"I'll go get Isaac, if you can tie things up here?" Olivia smiled at Elliot who agreed and went to talk to Cragen as she took the stair one at a time…then two, until she got to what she wanted. "Hey, Blue Eyes." She cooed softly as she walked into the room where Mac was currently engaged in a tug-o-war match with Isaac over his stuffed puppy.

Isaac let go of the puppy and smiled up at Olivia who bent low to pick him up, "Was Mac being mean?" She teased the youngster.

"That kid tried to take my puppy." He teased and rubbed Isaac's calf softly, "He's got a killer grip." He smiled, "I got to get down stairs before Fin looses his mind."

"What's been happening with Fin?" Olivia asked picking rubbing her son's back.

"I don't know…I think I get on his nerves or something."

Olivia laughed, "Rule number one of working with Sir-Pimps-A-Lot…everyone gets on his nerves."

Mac smiled and rubbed her shoulder in thanks, "Got to go." He said and trotted quickly down that stairs as Olivia made her way much more cautiously down the steps. When she finally reached the base of the steps she observed Elliot talking to Fin and Cragen as Casey stood near by with a look of careful concern on her face, the tension was thick enough that she could feel it all the way across the room. She watched Fin take a step forward and a very ballzy Casey stand between him and Elliot apparently trying to sooth an anger coming from Fin.

"What's going on?" Olivia asked softly as Isaac rested his head back on her shoulder to observe the goings on behind her.

Elliot bowed his head, "I told them about the lawyers this morning."

"Yeah." Fin smacked his lips, "Told us how you two knew my partner was dying of cancer and didn't bother to tell me." He said carelessly tossing files onto a counter and pushing past them.

"Fin." Casey called for him.

He raised his hand as he walked away, "Kiss my ass."

Casey exhaled and turned to the group, "That went well."

Olivia stood shocked, "Apparently." She whispered.

Elliot was about to say something when Isaac straightened in her arms and reached behind her, "MaMa!" he shrieked.

Olivia grinned pulling him to look at her as he continued to point over her shoulder, "MaMa!" he smiled. Olivia frowned and turned slowly in the direction he pointed, stopping to see a woman she had never met before as Isaac pointed again and reached out for the stranger, "MaMa!"

And in an instant Olivia's healing heart was shattered.


	27. Chapter 27 Like A Light

Olivia was certain, that if everyone in the bullpen would come to a quiet calm, if the clicking of heels against government issued tile would cease, if detectives would hush the gallows humor, if only for a moment, then everyone within the precinct, both upstairs and downstairs of her, would be able to hear her heart shatter like a mirror being tossed off of a jagged cliff.

She was convinced they would hear the pieces break and fall through her empty body, collide with her hips that bore the son she held…the son who was calling another woman, 'MaMa'. She may, in this moment give up; wave the white flag. She was almost certain she would have to bend low to the ground and yell through a vent, at the people below her to watch for falling pieces of her heart.

How it continued to beat in her chest, she wasn't sure, but she wished with all that she had…that it would stop. That she would collapse with a massive heart attack and be done with this hell; for surely hell hath no fury than what her life had become; a perpetual, one step forward, two steps back dance.

Olivia watched in abject horror as Isaac grinned again and extended his arms, "Ma'Ma!" he called again trying to wiggle out of her arms to the woman in front of Olivia.

"What are you doing here?" Fin suddenly emerged from the hallway and bellowed at the woman, "I said I would call you." He scolded her and immediately ushered her into an interview room where he closed the door and returned to see Olivia starring in shock at the space the woman once occupied, silent tears caressing her cheeks as Elliot rubbed her back softy and whispered things he couldn't hear, in her ear.

"Olivia," Fin shook his head, "I'm sorry." He whispered to her as Isaac began to cry and call for 'MaMa' again. Elliot tried to remove him from her arms to which she simply held him tighter and didn't respond.

"Liv," Elliot whispered in ear, "come on honey, let me have him, let me get him calmed down."

"I'm…his mother…not her, why is he calling her mom?" she whispered still not willing to move, "I gave birth to him…not her, who is she?" Olivia whispered letting a sob escape her mouth as Casey reached for Isaac and delicately forced Olivia to let go and when she did Elliot immediately pulled her close.

"I'm sorry." Elliot whispered, "I'm so sorry you had to experience that." He told her placing a soft kiss on the crown of her head.

"Fin?" Olivia whispered, standing straighter and wiping her eyes, fully aware that other detectives were looking at her, "Who is she?"

Fin shook his head softly and looked at the Captain, "Maybe…maybe you should hear it from Don, Liv…it's not my place."

"Fin." Olivia closed her eyes in an effort not to snap at him, "Please. Just…who is she?"

Don cleared his throat and intervened, "Her name is Adrianne Moreno…reported missing thirteen months ago by her husband Oscar Moreno."

She sniffled and looked to her husband, "Thirteen Months. She was the woman in the cellar with our son, wasn't she?"

Elliot looked to Don for answers, "Was she?" He asked slightly shell shocked with the situation.

Before he could answer, Casey interrupted, "You know what? I'm out of court for the day; I'll go ahead and take Isaac for the rest of the day, you can pick him up whenever your done here." She said softly and started to walk away.

"What's wrong councilor?" Olivia turned to her and locked eyes with Casey, a look of such forlorn emotion swimming within her brown eyes that Casey knew what ever remark that was poised at her lips wasn't actually coming from Olivia, "You can't bare to watch my son call another woman 'mom'?" Olivia shrugged her shoulders in absolute bitterness, "It's a perfectly natural thing-"

"Liv-"

"No, really." She shook her head and wiped fiercely at falling tears, "Some freak breaks into my home, takes my son and keeps him locked up with some woman I've never met before in my life…it's understandable why my son doesn't know me right?" Olivia's anger and desperation grew experientially, "Answer me Casey!" she suddenly yelled.

Casey narrowed her gaze at Olivia and tried to sooth Isaac at the same time.

"Casey, it's okay." Elliot assured her trying to hold Olivia who was pushing him away, "Go Case!" Elliot told her, "We'll come for him later." He assured her.

"Go!" Olivia snapped, "Maybe he'll call you 'Mom' too!" Olivia sobbed, "Because he sure as hell isn't saying it to me!" she barked after her.

Elliot wrapped her up instantly into his embrace and held her tight as he pulled her into Cragen's office and closed the door; she sat and sobbed into her hands. He pulled the blinds closed as he watched Cragen exhaled and try to get the detectives in the bullpen back on task. He looked at Elliot as he was about to close the last blind and motioned for him to take as long as he needed.

"Liv."

"I'm his mother." She choked out hoarsely, "I am."

Elliot kneeled in front of her and caressed her face, "You are, and you're an amazing mother, Olivia."

"He didn't call me mom, he called Adrianne Moreno, mom." She sniffled and held his shoulders, "I'd do anything to be Adrianne Moreno right now." She cried, "He's my son, she shouldn't have the privilege of my title." She cried wrapping her arms around Elliot's neck and burying her face into him as she wept bitter tears.

He ran his fingertips up and down her back in a soothing motion as she cried against him, "Honey," he whispered pulling a chair under him without breaking her embrace, "he was gone for a long time and forced to spend the time with this woman…it's natural he would call her mom…he's confused; innocent."

Olivia sat up abruptly, "I want to talk to her…now." She said standing to her feet.

"Liv-"

"No, El!" she bit off, "I want to know about our son." She informed him and walked out of the office making her way to the room Fin had ushered the woman into, before Elliot could catch up with her.

"Olivia." Fin stopped her mid stride.

"Get out of my way, Fin." She warned through a clenched jaw.

"Olivia, she's a victim in this." Fin informed her.

Olivia, in a mixture of anger and intense hurt shoved him hard in his chest with her hand, "She wants to talk only if I'm here?" Olivia spat her words in pain and shoved him again, "Fine! I'm here!" she barked and moved past Fin and opened the door quickly but just as stealthily as she would have, had she expected a perp to be in the room, instead of a Latina woman, around her own height, big brown eyes, slender, slightly pale from the lack of sunlight, black hair resting just above her shoulders.

"You wanted to talk…let's do it." Olivia spoke with a no nonsense tone but her red and puffy eyes could tell anyone that her façade was smoke and mirrors and she was crumbling inside.

"You misunderstood." Adrianne whispered softly, leveling a compassionate gaze at Olivia.

"I misunderstood?" Olivia tilted her head to the side, "By all means, clear up the miscommunication, because it sounded to me like my son called you Mom."

Adrianne exhaled, "There is so much that you don't know, Olivia."

Olivia narrowed her eyes in suspicion, "How do you know my name? I didn't tell you my name."

"No," Adrianne leaned forward and rested her hands on her lap, "you didn't…Nick did."

Olivia felt her guts churn, her heart rate increase and in that moment she wanted, no, she _needed_ Elliot by her side because she knew that what this woman was about to tell her was going to shake her at her core and she wasn't sure she could handle it.

"You're nervous." Adrianne whispered.

"Don't pretend you know me." Olivia replied coldly. This woman may have been a victim but the jealously of knowing she got to hear Isaac's first word, watch him take his first step; that she had the pleasure of his first innocent kiss, first tooth…it enraged Olivia to no end.

"That's just it, Olivia." Adrianne smiled sadly and exhaled, "I do know you, because after thirteen months, I _am_ you."

As if Elliot knew Olivia's chest was tightening and the world was spinning by her at incomprehensible speed, he quietly entered the interview room and took a seat next to Olivia, lacing his hand with hers and rubbing his thumb over the knuckle of her thumb.

"What are you talking about?" Olivia asked in near whisper, "I've never met you before, I don't know you."

"Yet I know every minor nuance that makes you…you." She whispered as her eyes began to swell with tears, "I know when you get out of the shower…for some reason you pull the towel from the rack with your left hand, even though you're right handed. I know that you sleep on your side, occasionally your back, but never your stomach."

Olivia tilted her head in shock, "That's nothing…a lot of people sleep on their sides…I want to know about my son."

Adrianne exhaled and then did something that made Olivia's heart suffocate. She raised her hand and stroked her eyebrow with the fingernail of her thumb…a nuance that Olivia did, an action she didn't realize she'd done until Elliot pointed it out. Adrianne continued on her own train of thought, "I had to study you for hours on end…so he didn't kill your son. I had to read report after report, article after article…I know that you have a commendation medal that you refuse to wear because the victim died and you feel you failed and shouldn't have the honor of wearing it."

"How did you…no one knows that." Olivia whispered, "I was a beat cop."

"Don't you get it? I know that when you tie your shoes you rotate your ankle three times before tying your shoes, I know that you pick certain things off of your pizza before eating it, I know you bite your bottom lip when your in thought…I know every intricate detail, I know every mannerism."

"H…how?" Olivia whispered, "I don't follow you." She said grasping Elliot's hand tighter as he listened and observed the two women.

Elliot noticed the way Adrianne sat; bold and independent, just like his wife. He noticed the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, just like Olivia; the way she licked her lips, the tilt of her head when she asked a question, the small movements she made with her hands as she spoke…the scar on her face, just near her temple. Everything…just like his wife.

"Please," Elliot whispered, "Start from the beginning…the captain and another cop are observing through the window…but please, tell us, help us understand you."

Adrianne leaned back, "I'm married." She smiled sadly and swiped at her tear, "I'm married and I have a little girl who is sixteen months old and I don't know where either of them are."

"Your husband left?" Elliot asked softly, "He left New York?"

"I don't know." She whispered, "I went to our home as soon as I was released from the hospital, it was sold to a very nice couple who didn't know where the owner moved too…I know my husband, he must be hurting and I want to see him and my daughter…but, I know you two must be hurting as well." She whispered looking away and sniffling.

"I had given birth to Allie three months before I was kidnapped. It was my first day back at work and Allie's first day at day care. I was stepping off of the subway when a man approached me from behind…it felt like a gun at my side." She whispered and bit her lower lips, an action that made Olivia's body tense. Adrianne was so much Olivia, that neither one of the personalities stopped nor begun in this woman, there was no distinction…she was Olivia, physically, as close as possible; mentally…exactly.

"What happened?" Olivia whispered trying to sound compassionate, knowing that her displaced anger wasn't helping. Her olive branch came in the form of a box of Kleenex to which the woman took one and dabbed at her tears.

"He told me if I didn't do what he said, he'd kill me. We were on a very busy platform, I thought I would be able to find an escape and get away but…he, almost immediately, slipped a handcuff over my wrist…it was already connected to his wrist, he held me close, draped his jacket over our wrist, told me if I didn't smile he'd shoot me."

"Where did he take you?" Elliot asked giving a side glance to Olivia who was having a hard time keeping herself angry at this woman in front of her.

"To an alley, there was a car…he made me get in and there was a baggie with a cloth in it." She cleared her throat that was constricting with emotion, "He showed me, what I thought was the gun, it was a small pipe." She smiled sadly, "Nice, huh? I let myself get kidnapped with a pipe."

"You didn't know." Olivia assured her, "You did the right thing…what if he did have a gun?"

Adrianne smiled bitterly, "Well…I wouldn't have been separated from my family. Them never knowing if I'm alive or dead…seems to me that would be a whole hell of a lot better, then being locked in a cellar for a year."

Olivia nodded softly, "But…had you fought, and he had a gun…I would have never saw my son again, I know you sacrificed. I know you did." Olivia wiped a stray tear, "And I can't thank you enough."

Adrianne shook her head with the feeling of being overwhelmed, "When I saw the pipe, I screamed and tried to get out of the car but…the handcuff…I couldn't and before I knew it I felt like I was being suffocated with whatever rag was in the baggie…then I woke up in the dark."

"The cellar?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah." She swallowed hard, "I was tied up for three days, no food, no water…no bathroom. I didn't see him, didn't hear anything except the constant barking of a dog and what I thought sounded like digging…that's how I figured I was underground…and nothing scared me more."

"What happened when he finally did come to you?" Elliot prodded her as she wiped harder at her tears.

"He never came in from the door that the cops came through, he came in from the door that joined to the house…the big dungeon, is what I called the house." She smiled softly and looked out the window, "I haven't seen the sun rise or set in a year…hell, I hadn't seen the sun until they got me out of there."

"Adrianne…what happened?" Olivia asked again in softness as the woman tried diligently to be strong, to pass along necessary information, but was dying with each pronounced word.

"He came in and turned on a light that was overhead, there was no restroom…he told me I would have to clean up my mess." She looked away in shame, "I asked him to untie me so that I could…I was trying anything to get away, I thought I could, you know?"

"Did he untie you?" Elliot asked still stroking Olivia's hand.

"Yeah…he brought me clothes and fresh linen for the bed…I changed the bed and watched him until I thought he was sidetracked…he was hang pictures and news articles on the wall, so…I ran to the door he'd just come through…I was yelling and screaming and I just ran, but…he grabbed me by my hair…it was down to my waist." She smiled softly, fingering her hair in her fingers, "he beat me that night…gave me water sporadically, and then left me for a few more days."

"Do you want something to drink? Eat maybe?" Elliot asked offering her a break to which she declined and continued her story, "I don't remember how long it was until he came back but, he had a baby with him…this beautiful baby boy…he told me he'd killed the boy's parents. He showed me a picture of Allie and my husband; he said if I didn't take care of the boy, that he would kill Allie and my husband, then me and the boy."

Adrianne scrubbed her hand over her face, "I asked him how he knew about my family and he said that I'd been reported missing and he was a reporter and had access to all types of information…he followed them and took pictures of them to let me know he was serious…are you her husband?" She asked suddenly out of the blue looking at Elliot.

He raised his brows in shock, "Yes, yes I am."

"Your son has your eyes." She whispered and smiled softly at Olivia, "Yours too it would seem." Olivia smiled sadly and couldn't help the tear that fell. "This is the first I've seen of you." She told Elliot, "All of the pictures…they're all of you Olivia, everything was you." She whispered and stopped to gather her thoughts and press on, "I knew that I would have to bide my time with this psycho, I knew he was serious about killing my family and as a mother to my own child…I couldn't turn my back on your son."

Olivia suddenly broke and let out a sob, "Thank you." She whispered and leaned into Elliot letting the emotion and a gratitude that confused her seep through her.

"From what I've read about you." Adrianne whispered, "You would have done the same thing had it been my Allie in that cellar, and you, the woman."

"Thank you." Olivia whispered again and sat back up.

"He killed his own child." Adrianne whispered, "He and his wife killed their own baby."

"What?" Olivia asked hoping she'd heard wrong, "He's not married…he had a kid?"

"The woman I met said she was his wife…at any rate, they showed me pictures of their son who had Down's and that's why the wife suggested they kill him. She said it was a win win situation…she said that Nick was obsessed with you and needed you and she needed your son."

"I don't understand," Elliot shook his head, "Why not just take our son and raise him then, why keep him locked away?"

"Don't you think it would be odd to suddenly show up with an infant when your neighbors know your son died?" She whispered, "When she came to the cellar or the big dungeon, she spent time with Isaac, she tried to care for him, but eventually, she lost interest, stopped coming, I think that deep down, she knew he wasn't her son and they would never be connected…I think she has regret but she should still be killed." Adrianne told them matter of factly. "I think someone should walk up the steps to her home and shoot her dead."

"Adrianne," Olivia whispered, "I understand your anger, not being able to find your family, but I can assure you our Captain is probably looking into it right now."

Adrianne nodded softly, "Some things…they come too late." She whispered and suddenly changed back to her narration, "I'm not sure what happened, but…she left him, moved away or whatever, I'm not sure if she lived in the dungeon, but I know that she was there when I was allowed out of the cellar…I'm just…I'm just a little shady on the logistics."

"It's understandable." Elliot assured her.

"Can you tell me where I was?" She asked softly.

"Cole and Tenth." Elliot whispered.

She cried harder than she had since she'd been sitting in front of them, "I…I lived five blocks from there…that must have been how he found me."

"Probably…it looks like he did a lot of surveillance on all of us." Olivia told her and inched the Kleenex closer to her after taking one for herself.

"Except you…the videos they were older." She told Olivia, "You weren't wearing a wedding ring, and you changed your hair."

Olivia cocked her head immediately and raised her brow, "What movies? What are you talking about?"

Adrianne exhaled, "After…after he broke me, and I knew that…that I'd probably never see my husband or daughter…he told me that it wasn't enough to know your history, he said I had to act like you, he said I had to be you. He made me sit through countless hours of tapes of you." She started to cry and rubbed the scar on her temple, "I can assure you that he wanted me to be you in every aspect…I have every scar you have." She whispered and looked away, her hand resting on her abdomen, "Every scar."

Olivia's heart ached for her. She knew what she meant, the scar on her temple wasn't the only one she bore, "The…the…my attack?" Olivia asked and shook her head in disgust as the woman nodded yes.

"He had the decency to knock me out to get the job done…he said he was a gentleman for doing that." She whispered.

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck, felt her muscles knotting up knowing that this woman's life would be forever changed, "Did he ever tell you-"

"How he got the footage?" She asked finishing the sentence, "Or his motive?"

"Both…either…did he say anything?" Elliot asked gently.

Adrianne thumbed her eyebrow and exhaled, "He said that the tapes came from evidence in the case of your attack your brother or father or something I'm not too sure. He said he knew the person that took the video and that it was carefully planned out after he helped them purchase the equipment, he said that they made him copies and he would…masturbate to them. As far as motive…he just always said that one day, Olivia would fall in love with him when she saw how much he'd done for Isaac. But, other stuff…the sex…he said he watched you." She sniffled and fought for her composure. "I'm not exactly…he didn't tell it to me all in one setting…but...he trusted me with bits and pieces and I just made mental notes…that's how I would fall asleep at night, just repeating everything over and over again. Your son, he was a different story, when Nick first brought him there, he cried for you guys all the time." She said with a soft smile. "I couldn't get him quiet, I tried everything and the only thing that worked was a lullaby, you know, the Sun Shine one?"

Olivia let out a laugh and a sob at the same time, "Really?"

"Yeah." Adrianne whispered through a tender laugh, "You sang it to him?"

"Yeah." Smiled through her tears, "It was the only lullaby I liked."

"Well," Adrianne, exhaled, "If it's any consolation, I think it was a great deal of comfort to him."

"He has a scar." Olivia suddenly wanted to know so much more, "He has a scar on his knee, it's small, but it wasn't there before he was taken…can you tell me…how he got it?"

Adrianne grinned, "He's a stubborn little boy."

Elliot let out a laugh as he and Olivia's heads met softly in a gentle intimacy as they both let out a small chuckle, "He's got our genes." Olivia whispered and licked her lips, "What happened."

"He was learning to walk and to make it safer for him I would spread out the blankets from our bedding and as he got a little more confidant he would cry and cry until I picked up the blankets so he could walk on the floor, he took a step and fell immediately and a pebble from the cellar floor cut him. He was very brave though, he let me clean him up without so much as fussing and he insisted on walking right after it." She smiled, "He's a good boy…but you misunderstood what you heard, Olivia." She told her softly.

Olivia shook her head softly and looked down at her lap, "How can one misunderstand the fact that her son doesn't know her?"

"He does know you…he just doesn't _recognize_ you, Honey." She said softly and it surprised Olivia that in spite of the hell this woman had just endured, she still was able to reach into the recesses of her soul and speak with gentle words. "Look at me." She whispered and waited for Olivia to do so, "I look like you _looked_ not like you _look_…you've changed a lot, your hair is a different color, it's longer, your skin is darker, your make up is different, but _I still_ look like the woman in those photos that were on the wall…he knows who his mother is, I made sure of it every night."

"How." Olivia whispered, "How is that possible."

"I took those pictures from the wall and showed him them as soon as he started to talk…a child's first word is usually 'MaMa' and as soon as he started to say that, every time he said it, I would point to a picture of you and I said, 'Isaac, this is your Ma'Ma, I'm Adrianne…sometimes he gets it and sometimes he doesn't. He's still young." She assured them, "Sometimes I'm mom and sometimes I'm Adry." She smiled softly, "He recognizes me as the woman in the pictures…and that's you, his mom, you just look different. I mean, honestly…I didn't recognize you for several seconds when I first saw you…I would have never just shown up had I known you'd be here…I'm a mother too Olivia, who has lost her child…I know what you feel, I know what you felt when you didn't have him and that's why I made every effort to tell him stories about you, to point our your pictures to him, I tried it all, and I'm willing to bet, he'll come around, he'll put it together, and recognize you as the woman in the pictures…he's young, he's only been home a few days, give him time."

"You taught him peek-a-boo?" Olivia whispered accepting her previous explanation.

"I did…he's a rascal. He'll hide under or behind anything to play. When we did get to go into the house, he loves to hide behind doors and peek out and yell 'Boo'." She informed them.

"And the water?" Elliot whispered, surprised to feel his own tears start to form.

"He loves the water." She smiled, "I would keep him in the tube as long as I possibly could when we were allowed in the house, it was the only time he had access to toys and things a little boy should be able to play with, and while he was in the tub I was memorizing the house in my mind, but…there was never a way out. Nick never left me alone and if he did he had Isaac and I think he knew I couldn't bring myself to leave without him. The windows were boarded and bared…it was…a personal prison. The first time I was in the house, I just yelled and yelled hoping someone could hear me but, he showed me how he insulated the house with extra ply board and insulation…he'd planned this for a long time, way before he found me." She whispered as her smile faltered.

"What happened the last time you saw him?" Elliot asked softly.

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"This Nick Ganzner, was a strange cat." Mac muttered watching the interaction between the three people in the observation room.

Cragen exhaled, "Fin, I want you to get a hold of the DA's office tell them to send me an ADA, we need a warrant for Nick's wife or girlfriend or whatever the hell she is and a search warrant for her current residence."

"She looks and acts so much like Liv." Fin shook his head, "It's like…it's like Liv's brother and those rapes all over again."

Cragen looked at Fin sharply, "Oliver…that must be where Nick got the footage, when her apartment was bugged."

Fin shook his head, and looked through the glass, "This is sick. Nick had us all buffaloed into thinking he was just stupid enough to steal her badge and give it to them for the surveillance equipment."

"But did Nick know Olivia had Isaac at that time? When did he find out?" Mac asked.

"I'm not exactly sure on the timeline." Fin confessed, "But I'm willing to bet the original plan wasn't kidnapping. I bet his fantasy just slowly became a reality and one thing led to another. His ability as a reporter to get the facts of Olivia's case with her brother…just gave him more leverage."

"What happened with her brother? What's her case?" Mac asked clearly out of the loop.

"That's for her to tell you, when and if she wants." Fin told him, "It's not our place."

Mac nodded, "I understand."

Cragen exhaled, "Well, Oliver is in prison, her father is dead right along with Ganzner…go get Nick's wife, I want someone's ass for this."

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Adrianne took a deep breath and continued to tell the story of the last time she'd seen Ganzner "He came to the cellar, dropped off two boxes of food because he was leaving town for business. He left two cases of water and he told me he would keep the light on while he was gone…usually he turned the breaker off at the box so we never really knew if it was morning or night. I just knew that when the light came on we would have a couple of hours, some times many hours, and when the light went off, well…Isaac and I are very good at operating in the dark." She informed them sadly.

"There was never a phone connected to the house?" Elliot asked just for clarification.

"No." She shook her head, "And he was very careful to never bring a cell phone into the cellar and I never found one in the house. I think he was scared he'd leave it behind and I'd get a hold of it somehow."

"Adrianne?" Olivia leaned forward softly and looked at the mid thirties woman, "You said…you had to be me in every aspect…the scars, the mannerisms; you said he watched me make love to my husband…did he…" Olivia stopped when the woman turned her face away in shame, "You can tell me." Olivia whispered, suddenly unconcerned that her son had thought of this woman as his mother. She was a victim as much as she and Elliot, Casey, Paul and Isaac and her husband and little girl. So many victims.

"Not during the first several months." She whispered, "He said he didn't have anything to go by…no live footage, he said." She scoffed and rubbed her temple, "One day, about six months ago, he came into the cellar and he told me to get Isaac and to get him to sleep and put him in the crib in the house. I didn't know what exactly was happening. Isaac had only been in that crib when I was allowed to take showers, to which Nick watched, and then after my hair cuts, he kept my hair meticulously as close to your style at the time. He was going to cut it again after he'd seen you make love, and I told him if he did, Isaac may not call me mom and his plan to be a family might not work."

"He wanted to be a family with you?"

"No…with you, but through me." She agreed, "I know it sounds odd, but, I don't think I could have kept up with everything if he'd changed my appearance again…I just…I was already starting to forget who I was…and," She dabbed at her eyes again, "when he finally saw what he saw you doing…that's when the sex started."

"He raped you." Olivia whispered.

"Almost everyday…he…he had me do things very specifically the way you had. It was…weird, humiliating, degrading." She whispered starring at her lap.

"I'm so sorry." Olivia whispered, "I'm so sorry you had to go through this Adrianne."

"He…no matter how much I tried to fake an orgasm he would keep going, keep touching me until…I had no choice…my body….it…"

"We know." Olivia responded softly and in a more compassionate move she reached across the table and held the woman's hand, "Don't blame your self, for your body's response."

She bit her lip, bowed her head, "Thank you…I needed to hear that. I feel…dirty…it…it destroyed me." She swallowed, "If I did find my family…I'm not sure my husband would want me now."

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"Mac?" Cragen ran his hand over his bald head.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Run Oscar Moreno and Alley Moreno's names through the NYC's system, see if they're still in the state if they're not, contact the FBI tell them we've located a missing person and we need the family to be located."

"Okay." Mac agreed and turned to walk out the door when he stopped, "Sir?"

"What, Mac?" Cragen asked in exhaustion.

"What do you want me to tell Mr. Moreno if I do find him?"

Cragen exhaled and continued to look through the glass, "Tell him…tell him we found his wife."

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Olivia squeezed Adrianne's hand gently, "You'll rise over it." Olivia assured her, "You will."

"He," Adrianne shook her head, "He was exact…he…when my body…responded…it had to be exactly like you would have…same facial expression, sounds…he…he was methodical."

Olivia bowed her head feeling embarrassment and shame slam into her. How could she ever accept that a woman was made to mimic her in bed while being raped? She winced inwardly and grabbed for anything to change the subject, "Does Isaac say anything else?" she asked softly.

Adrianne smiled, relieved for the change of subject, "He can say DaDa, Ilk…which is Milk, Hi, Bye, and a few other things that well…you haven't heard your son, and I want you to be surprised when he says them…will that be okay?"

"We would appreciate that." Elliot smiled, "You said he can say DaDa…where did he learn that?"

Adrianne bowed her head, "Please? Please don't make me tell you that?"

And it was with that sentence that Elliot knew exactly what Olivia felt when Isaac had called Adrianne, Mama, because he knew that Nick Ganzner had taught his son to call him Dad. If the man hadn't already been buried, he would kill him all over again. "Did he ever tell you anything about staging the car accident and staging Isaac's death?"

"His great achievement." Adrianne replied sarcastically as she shook her head, "He said that it was a perfect opportunity because many medical examiners were under investigation for selling bodies, he'd done his homework and convinced one corner to accept a large sum of money to act as if Nick's son's death never occurred." She shook her head and ran her hand through her hair just as Olivia would have. "He eventually told me that the corner filed Nick's baby's death as accidental, processed the body under some fake name, Ladle, or Little or something. I'm…sorry, I'm not really sure. It was so much information to remember, but I know that he said he exchanged cash and some bonds for two bodies and that he kept his son's body, so it would look like two people kidnapped Isaac and all three died in the accident."

"Why did he tell you so much? Why do you think he trusted you so much?" Olivia asked gently.

Adrianne rolled her eyes and let a small smiled play out, "I use to love to watch things like A&E, crime shows and what not, and I always saw that the way to win someone over was to pretend you were friends…I pretended he broke me and had me under his control…I believe there were two possibilities." She whispered.

"Which were?" Elliot prodded.

"He either believed that I would truly never escape or be set free or he truly believed that he broke me and…to some extent he did break me, just not the way he thought." She whispered, "He broke me physically, his trespass was physical, but mentally…I remember my husband and my daughter and when that didn't work, your son's laughter kept me sane. In the midst of utter pain and humiliation, your son made me laugh."

_The inherent meaning of Isaac is laughter_. Olivia smiled softly remembering Elliot's reason for picking his name.

Hours past, light fell softly into a pale darkness, fluorescent lights filled the observation room as one broken women tried to catch up two broken people up on their son's habits, likes, dislikes. Occasionally finding themselves drifting back into some horrible memory of being locked up in cellar, raped by a man Olivia felt responsible for, starved, beaten and humiliated all because of what? Because Olivia decided she didn't want to date him. Talk about your date from hell.

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Fin burst into the observation room to find it empty, "Damnit!" he barked, "Where's Mac or Cap?" Fin yelled into the bullpen.

"What's up?" Mac asked with a smile on his face.

"What the hell is with the goofy smile?" Fin demanded.

"Found Adrianne's husband, he lives in the upper West Side, should be here in five or ten minutes...good guys scored a point tonight, Fin." Mac assured him.

"Yeah?" Fin shook his head, "Well, the good guys are gonna get their asses kick right now."

"How's that?" Cragen asked having walked up behind Fin as he and Mac went back into the observation room.

"You left them alone?" Fin asked suddenly realizing that no one was observing the interaction between the three.

"They stopped really talking about the case two hours ago…she's trying to fill them in on Isaac as much as possible and they've got a ton of questions, it's not my place to listen…where have you been? Where's my ADA? My warrants?"

"That's why I'm back, we got a little problem, and by little I mean…the Hindenburg."

"What are you talking about?" Mac asked folding his arms over his chest.

"Nick's wi-" Fin cursed when he suddenly heard a shout through the bullpen.

"Excuse me! Please, I'm looking for my wife!"

Mac left the observation room and met a tall, rather muscular man, with dark brown eyes and small glasses, a beautiful dark haired toddler over his shoulder, "Mr. Moreno?" He called softly.

"Yes!" he closed the gap between them quickly, "Yes…please, my wife? Where is she? Is she okay?"

Mac extended his arms and rubbed his shoulder softly, "Your wife is a good person, she's doing just fine and she's in that room right there…if you want, I can hold your little girl here, until you and her see each other and she's ready to see Ally."

"Alwie." The little girl smiled and pointed at her self.

"That's right princess." Mac smiled and looked at Oscar, "May I? I know that your wife has asked about you many times today."

"Please." Oscar asked Mac, "Take me to her." Mac smiled and led the way knocking on the door softly, "Detectives?"

Olivia and Elliot looked up; wiping tears that combined with their smiled let Mac know they were probably discussing their son, "Yeah?" Olivia responded.

"I have someone here to see Adrianne, actually."

"Me?" Adrianne furrowed her brow, "Who."

Mac smiled and took Alley into his arms letting Oscar walk through the door. Adrianne starred in shock at her husband who stood with tear stained cheeks and simply walked to her, kneeled and took her into his arms, "Adry." He whispered, "Oh thank you God." He cried holding her tight, "I love you so much, I never forgot you, I never gave up." He assured her weeping into her body.

Adrianne slowly wrapped her arms around him and began to sob into his neck, "Oscar." She cried, "I thought I'd never see you again."

Olivia watched the scene unfold before her and was convinced that the woman before her was a godsend. It wasn't that she wished this kind of torment on anyone, but if she had to pick anyone for her son to have to stay with, it would have been this woman who treated Isaac as her own, yet kept Olivia's presence close to him and who willingly and freely gave him up. They had discussed future contact in hope of making it easier on both her and Isaac. Olivia had suggested it, a suggestion that surprised Elliot and to which Adrianne humbly declined. It would be better for a clean break. Isaac was not hers and Olivia and Elliot had a lot of time to make up for.

"El." Olivia whispered as Oscar caressed his wife's face pushed tendrils of hair away from her brow and touched her scar.

"Yeah." Elliot whispered kissing Olivia softly on the temple and helping her stand, "I was thinking the same thing." He told her and led her out of the room to give Adrianne and Oscar their space.

"Ally?" Adrianne whispered, "Is she here? Can I see her?"

"She is." Oscar smiled and peeked out the door as Elliot and Olivia stepped out.

"Detective," Oscar called Mac, "My daughter, please?"

"Absolutely." Mac smiled and passed her along, following Elliot and Olivia into the observation room a little confused to see to very stressed out looking individuals.

"Cap?" Olivia tilted her head, "What's up?"

Cragen shook his head and crammed his hands in his pocket, "The Hindenburg."

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brow.

"Yeah, I second that what." Mac teased and nodded to Fin who was pinching the bridge of his nose, "What's up, Fin?"

Fin shook his head and folded his arms, "I had to go back to the house where we originally thought Ganzner lived."

"His wife was there?" Olivia asked, "Did you arrest her?"

"Well," Fin exhaled, "I was going to see if I could sway her to come in and incriminate herself because we couldn't get Casey to pull strings for a warrant and the ADA they gave us was as useless as they come."

"Who was it?" Elliot asked.

"Some new guy…Potsie…Potter, I don't know, fact is, when I got to the house, detectives were swarming it."

"Detectives?" Mac shook his head, "What division?"

Cragen interjected quietly, "Homicide."

"Homicide!" Olivia repeated in shock, "What happened?"

"Well." Fin exhaled, "I asked the detective as they were loading the body into the van and he said from what it looked like…someone had walked up the steps of her house, and shot her dead."

Everyone looked at everyone in the room before all eyes peered through the glass as the woman holding her daughter on her hip as she rested her forehead against her husbands eyes closed, gentle smile. Perfection.

While no one said anything everyone new what the other was thinking as they watched Adrianne, as they watched a woman who was trapped in a cellar for a year, raped for months, beaten, starved, they new exactly what had happened because it came from the horses mouth.

'_I think she has regrets but she should still be killed, I think, someone should walk up the steps to her home and shoot her dead.'_

"What are we gonna do Cap…she murdered someone in cold blood." Fin asked softly.

Cragen looked at his small group of detectives, "Nick's wife killed her own child, kept a woman and two detectives' baby hostage for a year without notifying authorities….it's a shame that… we don't have any information to help homicides case." He said somberly and turned back around to face the glass as Elliot and Olivia walked out and Mac and Fin continued with their work.

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Casey ran to the front door as she heard it being unlocked, "Paul! What are you doing here?" she asked genuinely surprised but equally worried that he was gonna have a melt down when he saw Isaac.

"Um…I live here." He laughed and kissed her on her cheek, laughing against her lips when she kissed him with everything she could muster, pushing him against the wall gently and letting her hands trail his body before separating and leaning her temple to his.

"Uh oh." He chuckled, "What are you up to?"

"Nothing." She whispered.

"Mmm, hmm…which would mean your up to something…what is it Case?"

She groaned against him, "I…our friends were in a bind today so I helped them out."

"How much did it cost us?" he laughed.

"Nothing like that." She whispered and looked up at him, "I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose." She told him softly, "you know that, right?"

He arched a brow, "This just gets more and more scary…what's going on Case?"

"Olivia and Elliot were at the station today and there was a run in with the woman that had Isaac…Olivia sort of…lost it, there was no one to watch Isaac so-"

"He's here?" Paul asked in shock taking a step back into the wall, "Isaac's here? In our house?"

"Well," Casey scrunched her face, "yeah. I didn't think it would take so long and you said you probably wouldn't be home until midnight…and…ta da." Casey motioned to his body nervously, "You're early."

Paul loosened his tie and exhaled deeply, "Where is he?"

"In the nursery, sleeping and Addison is lying in the play pin in the living room…very much awake."

He said nothing in response, but shrugged his suit jacket off and draped it over the counter making his way to the playpen and bending low to kiss his son, "Hello, son." He whispered stroking his hair and smiling before turning and walking down the hall in silence. Casey watched him a little nervously and followed him once he had turned into the nursery.

Paul peered into the crib to see Isaac sleeping peacefully; he watched the youngster, watched his chest rise and fill with air, watched him click his tongue in his sleep and turned his head gently. Paul reached down and picked him up softly bringing him close to his body and smiling, "Hello, Isaac. It's good to see you again." He whispered and sat down softly in the rocking chair, "I'm so sorry." He whispered weeping softly over the small child, "I'm so sorry…I'll keep better care of you, I promise." He whispered.

Casey wiped her own tear watching her husband hold Isaac and rock him gently. She listened to him apologize to the young boy and she did nothing to stop it, knowing that this was what he needed. To apologize to a little boy that he didn't hurt, that he did everything he knew to do in the situation. He needed to apologize for doing nothing wrong.

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"Are you happy?" Olivia asked Elliot as they waited outside of the quiet house in the confines of their car.

"I am…are you? I know it hurt you to hear Isaac call her mom."

"At first." She shook her head in agreement, "It felt like my guts had been ripped out, but when she explained the reasoning when she told us her story…I understood." She said softly and took his hand in hers, "I think she's right…give Isaac some time, he'll come around…maybe I'll dye my hair dark again, I know you like it better than this." She teased.

"I like you no matter what you look like." He smiled softly and leaned to her for a kiss, neither person's hands touching the other but the communication of lips and gentle tongues told a million things hands couldn't.

He separated and kissed her mouth softly again watching as she kept her eyes closed, "You use to kiss with your eyes wide open." He whispered, "You've grown a lot over the years."

She grinned and slowly opened her eyes, "I have a good man to show me the way." She whispered and looked out the window and exhaled, "I don't want to go in there."

"You have to…you have to fix it." He encouraged her softly, "And we kind of need our son, so we can pick up our other one." He laughed softly and kissed her cheek.

"I can't believe I yelled at her like that." Olivia whispered, "I feel bad."

"She'll understand." Elliot whispered and kissed her again, "Go, talk to her, I'll be right out here waiting for you."

"Thank you." Olivia exhaled and stepped out of the car making her way to Casey's front door, and while it took her several seconds, she eventually rang the doorbell and stepped back to wait for someone to answer.

"Olivia!" Casey smiled, "Come in."

Olivia was a little taken back by the warm greeting and cautiously followed Casey into the house, "Was…um…was Isaac good for you?" she asked waiting for a fight to ensue.

"Come here." Casey motioned for her and raised a finger to her nose indicating the need for silence. Olivia stopped at the door to Addison's nursery to see Paul rocking her son, a smile on his lips tears streaking his face.

Casey and Olivia walked back to the living room in silence, "Casey." Olivia started as soon as they were out of ear shot.

"Yeah?" Casey smiled down at her son and waved as she waited for Olivia to reply.

"Casey, I'm sorry I yelled at you. It was uncalled for." Olivia whispered starring at the floor.

Casey stopped and actually had to press the rewind button in her brain, "Oh, Olivia…don't apologize for that…I completely understand the stress you were under."

"I shouldn't have taken it out on you…I'm sorry, please, just let me tell you that." Olivia smiled sheepishly.

Casey grinned and hugged her tightly, "Don't even worry about it, it stung a little, but I understand what was happening and I completely forgive you." She whispered into her ear.

"Hey, what's with all the secrets?" Paul smiled from the hallway.

Olivia and Casey looked up in surprise to see him holding a very much asleep Isaac in his arms, "I heard voices and look what the cat dragged in Paul smiled and embraced Olivia from the side a friendly peck placed on her head, "How are you?"

"I'm…really…good, actually." Olivia grinned and tucked her hair behind her ear, "I'm really good…how are you?" She asked softy reached out to stroke Isaac's back as Paul held him.

Paul smiled and exhaled giving Isaac a gentle squeeze before returning him to his mother, "I'm…perfect, now, everything is falling into place. Thank you for…trusting us to watch him again."

"Again?" Olivia furrowed her brow and smiled, "Paul…I never stopped trusting you guys with my family." She assured him softly before he bowed his head covering his smiled and retreating to the office.

"Honey?" he called softly over his shoulder.

"Yeah?" Casey responded picking Addison up.

"I'm gonna finish a proposal tonight and then I'll be in bed…waiting for you." He grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"There's my cue." Olivia grinned.

"Wait." Casey called to her, "How did it go at the station?"

Olivia exhaled, "Good." Olivia smiled and kissed her sleeping son, "It went really good."

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"I'm sorry I'm so late." Olivia apologized as soon as Alex opened the door.

"Ah," Alex waved her hand, "Casey called me told me you ran into a snag told me I could bring Sam to her if I needed too but I figure I love the guy too much to part with him if I don't have too." She laughed leading Olivia into the front room where Sam and Robert were engaged in a heavy game of chess.

"Why so slow today?" Olivia whispered to Alex.

"It's not speed chess…well at least for Robert it's not…Sam is killing him."

"Really?" Olivia laughed softly.

"Yeah…hey, you okay? What happened today? I saw the press release."

Olivia shook her head softly and maintained a whispered as the two men stayed in deep thought, "The press conference was fine, not too big a deal. I ended up meeting with the woman who was with Isaac for the last year, though."

"Holy shit!" Alex hissed, "What happened?" she asked ushering her down the hall into the guest bedroom where they both flopped on the bed and talked. Alex's emotions were all over the place keeping pace with Olivia's but in the end she smiled, "I'm glad he was with someone who cared."

"Me too." Olivia whispered, "Can I ask you something?"

"No I will not have your baby." Alex joked.

Olivia turned bright red and laughed into the pillow, "You're bad."

"Thank you…no, seriously, what's up?"

"I sort of asked Adrianne if she would stop by every now and again…I want this transition to go smooth for Isaac, she said 'no'…was I wrong to have asked her that?" Olivia asked softly, "Do you think I offended her?"

"I don't think you offended her, but it does show how much she cares for your son…if I cared for a baby for a year and then had to make a clean break, no matter what the situation, I think it would kill me." Alex explained, "I think in spite of all this chaos…someone really was looking out for your family, Liv."

Olivia exhaled and rubbed her belly, "No doubt."

"Come on, let's go get you're chess nerd."

"Alex!" Olivia laughed, "I hope you don't call him that when he's around."

"What are you talking about…he's the one that came up with the title." She laughed and led her back to the living room, "Sam, you're mom's here." Alex smiled seeing the boy practically knock over his chair to get to her.

"Mom!" He laughed hugging her tightly, "You were gone a long time." He whispered.

"I know…I had something really important happen and it took forever!" She told him rubbing his back, "and it is way, way past your bed time, what are you doing up?" she asked as Robert still stared at the bored.

Sam giggled, "I would have been in bed eight games ago, but Robert thinks he can beat me." He said innocently, "I like this game."

Olivia lowered herself to the couch and looked at her son's face. Precious. Perfect. Innocent. "I love you, Samuel." She whispered and hugged him tightly.

He giggled and kissed her cheek as Robert called out from the table, "Rook to C7"

Olivia was surprised to see Sam actually roll his eyes as if the move was so trivial. He hugged his mother again and called back, "Knight to A3. Checkmate! You loose…again."

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"Out like lights in a rain storm." Elliot smiled, "Although, Sam had something all over him, like something sticky." He said flexing his hands and touching his arms, "It's all over me." He muttered standing at the foot of the bed. He felt his shirt as Olivia walked on her knees over to him, "Oh, man." He groaned, "it's all over my cl-" he was muffled by her lips, and when he tried to mutter against her mouth she simply stroked his tongue with hers and silenced him instantly.

He moaned into her mouth, half out of arousal and half out of frustration not being able to bring himself to touch her with sticky hands. Foreplay had done its job and Elliot's body rose instantly feeling his wife's clothed breast rub against him, her smile as she separated and looked up at him seductively, was enough to make him loose it right there "I need to wash up." He whispered against her.

"No." She whispered back slowly laying down and pulling him to cover her body, "I don't care. I want you…no more foreplay." She whispered, "Make love to me."

He grinned and rubbed his length against her leg, "In the car, you said you were exhausted."

"I am." She whispered, "But that doesn't change the fact that I want you."

"Mmm, I see." He smiled and hooked his fingers into her boy shorts pulling them off playfully before pulling his own shirt off, as she worked on his pants.

"Loose these." She grinned then laughed when he instantly dropped both pants and boxer and offered her a smirk, "You're so sexy when you smile like that." She whispered as he covered her body, and then kneeled between her legs helping her with her own shirt.

"Your just plain sexy anyway you look at it." He assured her and laughed as she yawned. "Am I boring you?" he asked deviously as he rubbed his shaft along her heat and she gasped instantly.

"No." She panted, palms against his chest, "No, not bored." She assured him.

"Tell me what you want Liv, let me give you what you want." He whispered, "Anything, just tell me."

"I swear, you had better not be toying with me, Elliot." She told him as he continued to roam her body.

"No." he smiled, "I have every intention of making love to you tonight."

"Good." She whispered caressing his backside, "Because, I have every intention of being made love to."

"Just tell me what you want." He whispered in her ear, pulling softly at her lobe.

"She smiled up at him and cocked a brow, "What will it take to get you to put one of those condoms on?"

He grinned and kissed her neck softly making his way to her breast, "You like those, huh?"

"Oh yeah." She chuckled then hissed as he took her nipple into his mouth and caressed it until it peeked painfully. He let her go, holding her momentarily between his teeth before complete release.

"Okay." He agreed and reached for the nightstand.

"No." She muttered with closed eyes, "Bathroom."

"You put them in the bathroom?" He asked kissing her mouth.

"Mmm, hmm." She responded quietly.

He rummaged quickly through the cabinet beneath the sink taking a little longer than he anticipated. He smiled, grabbing one from the box and leaving only to turn back and grab two more, "Hey, Liv." He whispered in the pale light of night, "Do you think, you could do that thing with your mouth again?" he asked kneeling on the bed and slipping closer to her, "I still don't know where you learned it." He chuckled then furrowed his brow, "Liv…Liv?" he shook her softly then smiled and whispered, "Out like a light in a rain storm."

A/N: Nope, not over. Close, but i still got a little something going on.


	28. Chapter 28 Fluke

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 28 Fluke

Chapter is rated R. If you're under eighteen skip it, it's just fluff. And the quote I stole in the last chapter was from Crazyaboutme! Thanks again!

"Liv come on! Unlock the door." Elliot laughed trying to open the door to the restroom, "I'm gonna be late for work!"

"I'm busy!" She yelled back with a chuckle.

"Doing what? Come on, I see you pee all the time…let me in."

"Use the boys' bathroom!"

"Liv!" he groaned against the door and quieted his voice, "Come on, you got out of bed before I could kiss you…let me kiss you."

"I will…when I'm done!" she told him playfully, "Go get ready in the other restroom, and if you ask me anything else I'll stay in here until you leave, now beat it, Stabler!"

He smirked against the door, "I'll see you in the kitchen…my tie?"

"Yes!" she groaned and chuckled, "Get away."

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Elliot fumbled around in the kitchen getting ready for his day as the boys continued to sleep and he started to pour his coffee.

"Hi." Olivia smiled snaking her hands around his waist and tip toeing to kiss his temple, "Have I told you how hot you look in these slacks?" She whispered sliding her hands into his front pockets and caressing his thighs.

"Good Morning." His voice squeaked at her contact. She chuckled and sucked softly on his neck.

"I have a favor to ask." She whispered in his ear.

"Yeah?" he chuckled and turned in her embrace grazing his lips over hers, "what can I do for you?"

She smiled and framed his face with her hands, "I want some coffee." She whispered, "But it's the darndest thing. See, I'm four months pregnant with this guy's babies…he was really sexy, had this amazing body. Now, I'm not due until November and I'm not sure I can go that long without coffee…can you help me out?"

He grinned, took a drink of his coffee and kissed her full on the mouth, his hands slipping into her pajama shorts and caressing her bottom, as he trailed his tongue over every possible section of her mouth, his hand laying gently on her breast as she pinned him harder to the counter and released his lips, "I'm so sorry I fell asleep on you." She whispered.

He chuckled, "Not a big deal." He kissed her again, sucking on her bottom lip, "Just adds to the foreplay." He assured her.

"Yeah." She grinned raising his coffee mug to his lips and watching as he took a careful kiss, "But, I really wanted to make love to you." She whispered and smiled when he swallowed and went after her lips again.

"I talked to Cragen while you were in the bathroom." He whispered.

She pulled away and laughed, "Way to ruin the mood, El."

He laughed, "Sorry, it's just…I thought you might like to know that I convinced him to let you work from home until the babies are home."

"Really?" she grinned, "I can do the paper work here?"

"Yep." He smiled, "If you need something, call the reception desk they'll fax it too you, cell phones and email and our office are your future for the next five months." He whispered, "I'll bring home my paperwork for you."

She laughed, "I'm sure you would love to do that." She teased walking away.

He pulled her back to him her back flush against his chest, her perfect backside tucked against him, "I would love to make love to you right now, in this kitchen." He whispered from behind trailing his index finger along her neck, "Why do you have to be so beautiful, Liv?" he asked trailing his hand down to her nipple, "Why do you have to be so mysterious all of the time…you drive me crazy." He breathed, his hot breath making her gasp.

She turned quickly and kissed him feeling his erection pressed against her, "I wouldn't loose control in those pants." She whispered against his lips, nipping softly at his mouth.

"Why?" he managed through a smirk.

"Because, I haven't picked up your dry cleaning and you don't have any clean ones." She reminded him and rubbed into him, pulling him closer to her and taking in a hitched breath as he ran his hand up her spine tangling her hair in his fist, "Make love to me right now El." She whispered, "The boys are still asleep, and I'm sure since it's your first day back…Cragen would go easy on you if you were late."

He smiled, "You really want me don't you?"

"I need you." She groaned, "I need you so much, it's frustrating." She whispered as he caressed her backside again.

"I can't, Liv…I need to go to work." He whispered, "But, the sooner I get there…the sooner I'll be home and we can be together."

She smiled and kissed him again, "One more favor?"

"Anything." He whispered against her neck.

"Touch me."

He grinned and caressed her face, his hand at the small of her back, "Baby, I am touching you."

She sucked on his bottom lip, "No, not like that."

He stroked her upper lip with his tongue and lowered his hand to her breast, "Are you sore?"

"Yeah," she whispered, "But that's not where I want you to touch me." She told him lowering his hand from her breast to the juncture of her thighs.

"Oh." His voice cracked.

"Please?" she whispered covering his hand and watching his expression when he felt bare skin against his fingertips. He exhaled and groaned into her shoulder, "Is that what you wanted, El?" she whispered thrusting her hips gently into his hand.

"Was that what was taking you so long in the bathroom?" He whispered, "You didn't have to."

"Yeah and that's not what I asked you." She smiled against his cheek, "I asked if that's what you wanted?"

"Yeah." He breathed hot against her and smiled, "Thank you."

She grinned and sighed when he removed his hand. She kissed his lips again and moaned against him, "Thank me tonight?"

"Absolutely." He whispered thick and walked backwards to the door.

She smiled, "El, come here."

He grinned, "I don't think it's safe."

She pushed herself off of the counter and closed the space between them kissing him thoroughly as she tied his tie and smoothed his shirt over his chest, "Be careful, I love you."

He exhaled, kissed her again, "Better get dressed, Sam's gonna be up soon, I love you and I'll see you tonight."

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Olivia found herself pulling a freshly dried pair of pants out of the dryer and sliding into them and buttoning her maternity shirt over her swelling belly. "Five more months sweat peas." She grinned and rubbed her belly, "Can't wait to see you two girls." She chuckled walking down the hall to see Sam sitting at the breakfast table picking absently at a bagel that was hers five ten minutes ago. "Hey, bagel thief!" she laughed and kissed his cheek softly, "So nice of you to wake up, Baby boy."

He remained silent and tore at the bagel, "Your not pleading the fifth on me again are you, Sam?" she asked softly and pulled a chair up close to him resting her head on his, "Talk to me, Little Man."

"Mornin' Mom." He whispered and felt in front of the plate.

"Thirsty?"

"Yes, please?" he sounded flustered as he ran his hands through his hair, forward and then back, "Where's dad?"

"He went to work early, Honey." She told him, "Orange juice." She explained sliding a tumbler of juice to him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Mmm…is that the truth?"

"No."

"Good to know…talk to me Baby boy…did you have a dream?"

"No." he exhaled and suddenly swiped his hand sending the paper plate and bagel flying into the wall, "NO!"

Olivia leaned back in her chair and watched him fold his arms and lay his head down, "Now…what did that bagel do to you to deserve that?" she asked lightheartedly and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, "I don't think I've ever seen a bagel fly like that." She whispered, "It's two feet to the left of the second window…I think it needs to be picked up." She told him nudging him softly until he took a deep breath and followed her directions picking up the bagel.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?" She asked as if nothing were wrong, "What's up?"

"Can you…tell me where the plate is?"

"To your right…keep going…there ya go." She told him, "Go ahead and come sit with me on the couch." She instructed and simply stood pushing in both chairs and patiently waiting for him in the living room where he crawled up next to her in a manner of minutes, "So," She pulled him close to her, "Rough night?"

"No…I slept good." He whispered, "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"My appointment is soon, huh?"

"Yeah, as soon as you get ready." She said softly and ran her hand over his head.

"Why do I have to talk to George?" he asked softly, "I don't want to talk to him, I don't like how he asks questions all the time…I don't like the chair and the table is too big, and I don't like to talk to him, I don't mom…are you listening? I don't like to talk to him."

She exhaled, "I'm listening…I'm always listening." She assured him, "I ask you questions all the time…why don't you like his questions?"

"Because….his questions," Sam whispered and touched his chest with his hands, "They hurt my heart all the time and he doesn't hug me and tell me its okay like you do if your questions hurt my heart."

"Oh, I see…your upset 'cause he asks you things that hurt huh?"

"Yeah and that's not fair, cause I don't ask him things that make him hurt…and his cologne, it hurts my head, and I don't like how he clicks his pen and I don't like how fast he moves when he talks to me and I don't like-"

"Hey." She rubbed his shoulders, "Why don't you tell me what you do like about George."

"I don't like anything about George." He whispered and nuzzled close to her, patting her belly gently, "My brother and sister…are they okay?"

She grinned at his avoidance and his concern, "They're great…but I really want you to think of at least one thing about George that you like…can you do that?"

He exhaled and rubbed his eyes, "I like that…even though I don't talk to him or say hi or bye, he says I'm still a good boy and that he wants to see me again…even though I don't want to see him again."

"Is there anything that you don't want to talk to him about…is there anything that you don't want him to know about? Maybe I could tell him not to ask you until your ready to talk about it."

"I don't," he started to chew his finger nails and she gently lowered his hand, "I don't want to tell him about my penis or carrots."

"Carrots?" she acted shocked, "I completely understand, I hate it when people ask me about my carrots…it's rude don't you think?" she entertained his logic with a small smile.

"Yeah."

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"How's your tummy, Baby?" Olivia asked as she pulled the SUV up to the curb.

"Ok." He whispered, "Can I push the stroller?" he asked in clear defeat.

Olivia took his hand in hers taking note that he was shaking, "Sam, he's not gonna hurt you. George is a very good friend of mine and you know what?"

"What?"

"I called George while you were getting ready, and I asked him if he could wash his cologne off and he said he absolutely would." She assured him.

"What if I have to go to the restroom, Mom?"

"Then George will stop and he'll let me take you to the restroom."

"Will he yell at me?"

"Did he last time?"

"I didn't talk to him last time…so he couldn't yell at me." He whispered kicking his feet on the passenger seat.

"He won't yell at you Baby." She whispered, "I promise."

"What if I wet my pants?"

"I packed a change of clothes for you."

"Hungry."

"I brought you a snack."

He pressed his lips together trying to think of any other excuse he could and she waited patiently, "My cane."

"I'll lead you."

"I didn't bring my glasses."

"They're in my purse."

"Ice cream?"

"Shops around the corner when you're done."

He rubbed his eyes and huffed. She smiled, he was so much like Elliot and he didn't even notice it, "Mom." He started to cry, "I don't want to talk to George, I don't like him."

"Why?"

"I told you!" he whined covering his face with his hands and crying, "I don't want to…I want to call my dad."

"Sam-"

"Please? I want to talk to dad."

"Okay." She grinned and dialed her cell knowing full well Elliot would back her, when Sam exhaled and hung up the phone she knew Elliot had, "What he say, Baby?"

"I have to talk to George."

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Olivia helped Sam maneuver the stroller onto the elevator, "Mom, why does Isaac sleep so much?"

"That's what little boys do, honey." She assured him rubbing his back, "It's still a little early and he just ate." She informed him as the elevator doors opened, "Turn right, honey." She grinned, "Your other right, Baby." She chuckled and led him, "Take a seat, keep an ear out for your brother and I'll get you signed in."

"I don't want to talk to him." Sam whispered clutching the stroller tightly.

Olivia caressed his cheek with her fingertips and kissed his head softly, "I know." She whispered and headed to the counter to complete his paperwork.

After several minutes of trying to calm Sam's bouncing legs, his endless list of questions that she knew he only asked out of nervousness and his pinky nail that he chewed to the quick by the time she returned to her seat, George finally made his appearance, "Hello, Olivia." He smiled at them both, "And how are you Samuel?"

"I don't want to talk to you." Sam told him softly. Olivia was about to correct him when George simply raised his hand and smiled.

"I'm sorry to hear that Samuel, because I talked to your mom this morning, and I have your favorite soda ready and I even made it a point to reserve the children's room so you don't have to sit on that uncomfortable couch…but since you don't want to talk, maybe next time?"

Sam cocked his head to George's voice, "What kind of soda?"

"Your favorite, Sprite." George smiled and stole a glance at Isaac as he slept.

"I still don't want to talk to you George." Sam exhaled, "But I wan t some soda."

"Well," George smiled, "How about we go into the room, your mom will be able to watch through a window, just in case you need her." He assured him and reached to help him off the chair.

Sam quickly slapped George's hand away, "Don't touch me. I don't like to be touched."

Olivia furrowed her brow at his sudden behavior but George seemed to take it in stride as Sam reached for Olivia's arm and followed her to the room, "Mom, I don't want to talk to him." Sam said softly as George held the door open.

Olivia knelt in front of her son, "I brought something for you."

"What?" Sam smiled softly.

Olivia withdrew her badge and placed it in his palm, "This will make you strong."

"Like you, when you're at work?"

"Yeah." She smiled, "Without it, I can't do my job…I can't handle the hard stuff, so I'll tell you what." She suggested glancing at George to make sure he was following along, "If George asks you a question that hurts your heart, all you have to do is show him the badge but you can only show it three times." She instructed.

"Five times." He countered.

"Four times…final offer." She smiled.

"Okay." He exhaled and fingered the badge walking into the office and leaving the safety of his mother.

"How are you feeling Sam?"

"Don't call me Sam…that's for my mom and friends, I don't so much like you." Sam told him walking around the perimeter of the room running fingers over stuffed animals, toys he wasn't familiar with and a countertop that was lower than the one at home.

"What would you like me to call you?"

"Samuel." He responded shortly.

"Would you like to sit down Samuel?"

"I want my, Mom." He whispered leaning against the cupboard, "I don't like you."

"What is it about me that you don't like?"

"Your voice." Sam replied as he felt out to the center of the room.

"There's a chair three feet to your left."

"I can do it without you." Sam told him in irritation, "I'm nine."

"Oh, I see…what do you like about being nine?" George asked opening a can of soda and watching the young boy fight a smile at the sound of the liquid pouring into a plastic cup and being placed on the table in front of him. His hands slowly feeling for the cup and smiling when he finally took a sip.

"My birthday party." Sam grinned, "I had my first birthday party."

"Did you have fun?" George smiled leaning back in his chair.

"Yeah, I got a lot of friends." Sam told him.

"Did you get presents?"

Sam giggled, "Yeah, lots of presents."

"Which did you like the most?"

"The one my mom and dad gave me when no one was around." He told him matter of factly and took another sip letting his feet swing off of the chair, still not quite tall enough to reach the floor.

"What did they give you?"

"My new name." He grinned, "They let me hold the paper that says I'm Stabler now, mom lets me keep it in my nightstand so if I forget if they love me I can hold it."

"Do you…usually forget if they love you?" George asked softly.

"Sometimes."

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Olivia exhaled stroking Isaac's back as she stared through the window at Sam who was struggling through a conversation that he wanted no part of but needed to go through. "Hey Blue Eyes." She smiled looking at Isaac in her arms and grinning, "You are so big." She whispered. Her heart broke seeing one son wade through hell and her other son look up at her without being able to recognize her as mother, but she had her sons…and that was what mattered to her.

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"Why do you think you forget that they love you?"

"Because love, is hard work." Sam told him as if he should already know that.

"How so?"

"Daddy's only love their boys when they are quiet and when they aren't in the way, and I don't like to be quiet and I'm always in the way."

"Do Elliot and Olivia tell you that you're in the way?"

"No." Sam shook his head, "But, sometimes…sometimes…sometimes…" His voice trailed of and he took another drink of his soda.

"Sometimes what?"

"Sometimes…one time, I had a bad dream and I wanted to sleep in their room and I heard them talking and I heard mom say that Dad was right, that she didn't want me to live with her."

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Olivia arched her brow in shock and tried desperately to remember the conversation and when it dawned on her that he'd only heard half of that conversation when she and Elliot were apologizing and making up for his jealously over Sam's desire to go see Hoodwinked with her as well as her short fuse and snide remarks. He'd only heard half, he never heard her say there wasn't a day that went by that she wasn't totally in love with him.

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"Did you ask your mom what she meant?" George asked softly pouring more soda into the nearly empty cup.

"No." Sam shook his head.

"Why?"

"Cause if she says she didn't want me…then that means…no one wants me." He whispered fixing his glasses and bowing his head.

"If she asked you about it…would you talk to her?"

"I like to talk to my mom."

"You love her?"

"Yeah…lots."

"That's good to know Samuel." George smiled, "What do you like most about being with Olivia and Elliot?"

"They love me…I'm their boy." He whispered.

"Even though you thought she didn't want you?"

"She shows me she loves me…but words…sometimes they confuse me, I love my mom and my dad." He shrugged.

"Do you remember your home before Elliot and Olivia?"

"Which one?" He asked innocently, "I had lots of places I stayed at."

"Which was your favorite?"

"Christoff's office…he's fun…he teaches me a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Bible…ties…singing…and books." He exhaled, "I want my mom, I don't like you."

"What don't you like about me Samuel?" George asked again.

"I told you!" Sam slapped his hand on the table and groaned, "I don't like your voice."

"Does it remind you of someone?"

Sam ran his hands through his hair, "I need a haircut…can you get my mom and tell her I need a hair cut?"

"Would you like for me to tell her right now?"

"I don't like you." Sam told him clearly more agitated.

"Who does my voice remind you of Samuel?" George asked softly. Sam remained silent and slowly put the badge on top of the table.

"One." Sam whispered and pulled the badge back to his lap.

George nodded softly, "Do you sleep well Samuel?"

"Yes…no…sometimes." He told him and took a drink of his soda.

"Do you dream?"

"I don't like you."

"Samuel…do you dream?"

"Yes."

"Can you see in your dreams?"

"I hear, smell and feel…like how am right now, that's what my dreams are." He explained.

"What do you dream about?"

Sam liked his lips and placed the badge on table, "Two."

George smiled and tried something different. "Do you sleep through the night?"

"Yes."

"Ever get scared?"

"Yes."

"Of what?"

"Of my grandpa." He whispered softly and rubbed his hand through his hair, "My hair is too long, do you think my mom will cut it for me?"

"She probably will, she takes good care of you."

"Good."

"What does your grandpa say to you in your dreams?"

"That I'm a bad boy and I'll never be a good boy…that my mom and dad will give me away if I'm bad." He whispered and fidgeted in his seat before pressing his watch and listening to the time, "How much longer?"

"A few more minutes." George assured him, "Do you feel anything in your dreams?"

"Yes." He whispered.

"What do you feel Samuel?"

Sam raised the badge, "Three."

"Okay…no problem. How do you feel about having Isaac home?"

"He sleeps a lot." Sam told him, "And he eats a lot, but Mom lets me help, I like him."

"Is there anything you want to tell me or ask me, Samuel?" George exhaled looking at the clock.

Sam leaned back in his chair, his shoulders slouched his legs still, hands in his lap, "Mom says you're a doctor…for people's brains."

"I am." He agreed.

"Is my brain bad?" Sam whispered, "Was I born a bad boy?"

George smiled softly, "No, your not a bad boy and I don't believe that you were born bad…do you believe you were born bad?"

Sam held up the badge, "Four." He whispered and sat the badge on the table.

"Samuel…how do that Stablers treat you?"

"Like their boy."

"How did the Wilson's treat you?" George whispered and was unprepared for Sam's outburst when he suddenly started to yell and throw the soda and George's voice, pushing the table into him and moving to the pile of toys throwing them angrily to the ground as he continued to yell. Olivia quickly made her way into the room passing Isaac to George before wrapping her arms around her son.

"Sam, honey, it's me." She whispered lowering herself to the floor and taking him into her lap.

"I don't like him." Sam screeched, "I don't."

Olivia stroked his hair and held him close, "its okay, I'm right here."

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"Easy buddy, you're gonna get a brain freeze." Olivia warned Sam who was quietly but quickly devouring a milkshake while Olivia fished through the diaper bag and retrieved a Gerber Cookie, "Here ya go, Isaac." Olivia smiled as he son took the cookie and grinned.

"Mom?" Sam whispered kicking his feet under the table.

"Yeah honey?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"For what?"

"For not liking George." He whispered.

"Nope." She assured him, "Those are your personal sessions, which means whatever you say or do in there…you won't get any punishment from me our your father but it does hurt me to see you so upset…is there anything you want to talk about?" She asked as Isaac made every attempt to grab at her milkshake as he sat in her lap.

"Mom…my hair is long, will you cut it for me?" he whispered pushing his milkshake away.

"I thought you wanted it long like Fin's."

"Mom…why didn't you want me?" he asked point blank, "You said you wanted me but I heard you tell daddy you didn't." he told her wiping a tear with the back of his hand, "That hurt my heart mom."

What do you say to that? Olivia took a deep breath, "Honey…why didn't you ask me about this before?"

"Is it true?"

Delicately honest. Those were the words her conscience kept screaming at her. "This is a hard conversation to talk about Baby." She told him softly, "Will you promise me to ask questions if you don't understand what I'm telling you, because some parts of it might hurt, even though I don't mean for them to."

"I promise." He whispered.

Olivia let Isaac stand to his feet and play in the booth, palming the window as he'd done before and watching the people and cars pass by. "Sweet Heart…you didn't hear the whole conversation…you didn't hear the before or the after."

"But you said you didn't want me…why do I need to hear the before or the after?" he asked softly.

Isaac turned and managed to grab at Olivia's straw. Deciding she needed time to gather her thoughts and she didn't need baby drool on her straw. She sucked softly on the straw and covered the end with her finger releasing the milkshake into Isaac's happily awaiting mouth. She smiled at him as he smiled at her.

"Sam, Honey, if I told you I was going to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but I only gave you the jelly…would that still be a sandwich?" she asked repeating the process of giving Isaac some of her milkshake until he rested his forehead against her temple and then turned to peer outside the window again.

"No." Sam replied.

"That's right because you need the bread and the peanut butter for the sandwich to make since, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you needed to hear the before and the after so that the whole conversation made since…would you like me to tell you what you missed?"

"Please?" he shook his head softly.

"Your dad and I got into a disagreement. I told him I was sad that you never asked me to take you to the movies…that morning you had told him you wanted to go with me and I was very very excited, but your dad was a little sad."

"Why was he sad?"

"He really liked spending time with you at the movies and I think that he thought he might loose that with you."

"But I love my dad."

"We know that." She smiled softly, "We love you too."

"But how come you didn't want me?"

She exhaled, "Baby, it's not that I didn't want you…I was scared to have you and I told Elliot that when we were talking about adopting you…would you like for me to tell you the after, that you didn't hear?"

"Yes."

"I told Elliot that there wasn't a day or second that went by that I wasn't happy that you came to stay with us…did you know that Sam? I'm in love with you more and more each day, 'cause you're my boy." She smiled and reached out to touch his face, "you're my miracle because you helped to heal my heart." She whispered.

"Your heart hurt?"

"A lot, Baby…but you made it a little better each day. I didn't know if we should adopt you because I felt like that meant we would never see Isaac again."

"But you have Isaac now." He smiled.

"Yes I do." She whispered, "And I have you and if I didn't have you…my heart would hurt just as much as it did when I didn't have Isaac."

"So, when you said you didn't want me…that was just the jelly and that's why it didn't make since?"

"Yep…you needed to hear about the peanut butter."

"And the bread." Sam grinned.

"Yeah," she leaned over the table and kissed his forehead, "and the bread."

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Olivia had decided to get a jump start on Elliot's paperwork, deciding there was no time like the present to start, she grabbed a stack of over due paperwork from the house office and navigated down the hallway as Isaac ran down the hall in his pamper chasing Sam, who sat on living room floor and let the toddle tackle him. "Uh oh." Olivia laughed as they tumbled with one another, "Looks like a monkey pile on Sam." She called out through a smile and plopped on the couch.

Dinner with her boys had been fun, however; the phone call that she received from Elliot just before dinner, telling her that he'd caught a case was a libido buster; and while, she wanted her husband home with her, next to her in bed, she found herself smiling at the laughter of her sons that carried through her home. Isaac's tiny shrill and Sam's giddy chuckle, these were the things she never thought possible, these were the things that she'd wanted all of her life and didn't even know it until she met Elliot, until he revived her spirit and stood with her as her world crumbled, only to be slowly rebuilt…stronger, more fortified.

Hours passed until her eyes began to burn and it had dawned on her that the laughter and joyous banter she'd heard had since ceased. She tossed the last file aside, and got her bulging belly off of the couch with a grunt and a slow stretch, "Sam-Isaac?" She called softly peeking through various rooms in the house including the boys' before stopping at the threshold to their own and smiling at both boys and a little dog all sprawled out in various positions, all dead to the world.

She looked past them to the alarm clock that read nine O'clock in the evening, she made her approach cautiously and kept her eye on Tripod as he opened his eyes quickly and jumped to his feet, "Oh shut up, Tri." Olivia whispered picking up Isaac, "You are the grumpiest dog I've ever seen." She said with a small smile, "Come on Tri." She motioned for the dog to get off the bed, "Sam, honey wake up, I can't carry you." She whispered and smiled as he stirred and followed the motions of sliding off the bed, but she knew he was still pretty much dead to the world. Sam leaned into her as she took her boys into their room, "Jump in." She whispered to Sam who flopped in his bed and curled up just as soon as Tripod nuzzled close and eyeballed Olivia as she lowered Isaac into his bed.

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Elliot pulled up to an extinguished house save the porch light she'd left on for him. He scrubbed his hands over his face, felt the stumble that had since made it self known and rolled his eyes looking at his watch, two O'clock in the morning. He groaned and got his aching body out of the car, fumbling for keys and making all the necessary adjustments and movements until he finally found himself in front of the one thing he wanted…the refrigerator.

The house had smelt of spaghetti, which was Sam's favorite and which also meant Olivia would have saved him a plate. He smiled at her handwritten note on the fridge, "_Hey Tease: Foods in the fridge, love you more than you know, Liv."_ He was exhausted and he was sore having wrestled a perp to the ground only to be out maneuvered by the slimy little weasel and hit across the back with, something, he wasn't sure what, but he knew it hurt like hell trying to get through the interrogation and paperwork.

He opened the ice box, felt a twinge of pain in his back and decided a Doan's would be more appropriate, he grabbed the carton of orange juice and the pills from the cupboard and took them immediately before returning to the foil covered food. He chuckled out loud at the note she'd written on the foil with a sharpie, "_Of course, if your not tired, and you're hungry for something else…I went to sleep naked, Liv." _

Screw dinner.

Forget about aching body.

Make love to wife.

He shut the lights off, returned the plate and juice to the refrigerator and checked quickly on his boys before making his way to his wife who was sleeping with only a sheet to protect her modesty. It hugged her well, outlining her peaceful form in the darkness. Her hand closest to the bed covering her belly as she slept on her side, top leg bent at the knee and drawn up to her belly. Perfect.

The tie. He was careful with it, last time he'd almost lost his life trying to get out of it. This time he worked it like a pro as he watched his wife sleep in the comfort of the bed. He toed off his shoes and slipped out of his pants smiling to himself knowing that just the site of his wife, just the thought of knowing she was naked under the sheet, that she wanted him, that she'd left a note for him…his body was already responding.

His undershirt was tossed on her side of the room, knowing she'd wear it tomorrow morning, his boxers pooled at his feet…and then an idea. He moved quickly, grabbed this and that, took several minutes outside of the room before returning to see that she'd shifted and foiled his plan to slip into bed and then into her as she slept. He stood naked and assessed the situation and came up with plan 'B'.

Standing at the foot of the bed, he grabbed the sheet softly and slowly pulled it down from her body, exposing breasts, belly, hips, thighs and lastly her calves and feet. He grinned and delicately ran his fingertips over her knee, down to her ankle and lowered his head as he raised her foot, kissing the instep softly before gently sucking on her toe and releasing immediately when she murmured and stirred.

He kissed his way up her leg, crawling gently with one leg between hers, his arms at her sides, his tongue delicately caressing her inner thigh before his lips found their way to a hairless juncture of her thighs. He grinned against her skin, his tongue sampling only lightly of the dampness he found there before making his way to her belly and naval that smelt of a fresh shower, climbing further to swollen breasts and swirling his tongue over her nipple, blowing gently until it rose and grazed his lips.

A soft moan escaped her as her hands came up his sides and rested over his back, "El?" she whispered somewhere between wake and sleep.

His mouth found hers easily in the dark, making sensual work of her lips as she continued to sleep and wake at the same time. He traced the line of her lips with the tip of his tongue as her steady breath caressed his face; her fingertips sleepily traced the contour of his lower back, right where there was sure to be a nasty bruise tomorrow.

He slipped one hand under her waist, kissed her neck using only the lightest of touches as he caressed her head in his other hand and kept his weight off of her belly, "El." She muttered again and he felt the gentle rock of her hips rising up to meet his. He withdrew the hand under her body and caressed her cheek, resting his thumb on her chin and gently pulling her lips apart, rubbing his against hers and sucking softly on her bottom lip before darting the tip of his tongue in and bringing her into reality.

The raise and push of her head against his, her hand leaving his back to caress his face and pull him closer, let him know she was waking up, but when she hooked an ankle over his and moaned into his mouth he knew she was awake. He smiled and separated his lips from hers, "Hi." He whispered against her mouth.

"Hi." She kissed his cheek softly, "This is new."

He kissed the underside of her chin, and rubbed his thumb over her unattended nipple, "I wasn't really hungry for spaghetti." He whispered as she ran her fingertips up and down the muscles of his back.

"Turn the light on," She whispered, "I want to see you."

"No." he whispered back to her, "I just want to make love to you, Liv." That was the truth, the other truth was he didn't want to ruin this moment by letting her see his battered body, "I've wanted to make love to you all day." He told her softy as he pressed his erection into her. She gasped, instantly braced her self with her hand on his shoulder.

She smiled and rose up to mesh her hips into his erection, "Feels like you started without me."

He grinned, took her right hand in his left and kissed her open palm, the scent of her on her fingertips, "Looks like you started without me." He whispered through a smile and sucked softly on one finger, watching her moan and then sigh when he released.

She pulled him down closer to her, "I didn't let myself come." She told him, flicking her tongue to his lips.

"Why not?" he asked rubbing into her and feeling her bare foot press and drag against his calf.

"I told you," she moaned, "It's not my thing…it's not fun if it's not you."

He grinned and made his way back down her body, kissing her tattoo, caressing skin, kneading the back of her thigh as he kissed her naval and drew a line with his tongue to her bare skin, "Your beautiful." He whispered kissing her softly and stroking her long and light with his tongue, drawing lazy circles around her nerves and smiling at her elevated breath, the warmth and flush of her thighs against his cheeks, the reach of her hands as she dug her fingertips into his shoulders.

She panted and flexed her thighs fighting the urge to come in that very instant, "Elliot!' a tiny, desperate shriek that he hadn't heard from her before, he laughed softly, and nipped at her bare folds feeling her hips rise to meet his mouth. Her hands leaving his shoulders and reaching over her head for something, anything to help her keep quiet, to help her ride out this orgasm that he'd teased her for days with. "El." She chirped again spurring him on without an actual request.

Her knees drew up offering him more to which he greedily took, grabbing the hinge of her thighs and hips to hold her as he worked her thoroughly, relentlessly and as pleasurably as possible. His tongue teasing her opening as she moaned his name and pleaded for more contact. He dipped his tongue into her quickly hearing her voice hitch, watching her head roll back as her back arched and her ankles instantly locked at the small of his back.

He forgot about the pain in his back and continued to pass over her heat, dipping inside of her and working the opening of her body, feeling her thighs tremble around his face, "I can't hold on, El." She groaned and locked hands with his as he sent her careening out of control, so forcefully she pulled down on her ankles, he groaned in pain against her as she clutched his hands and squeezed her legs tight around him, he moved his tongue harder and more frantically then he thought he was capable of and continued his torment as she screeched out into a pillow and simply couldn't stand the contact anymore.

"El." She panted, "Elliot." She exhaled, "You have no idea what you just did."

"Um," he grinned and stretched his body to kiss her, "I think I made you come."

She chuckled, "Yeah, ya did…thank you." She whispered and hooked her fingers around his neck, kissing him deeply and tasting her own pleasure within him.

"Your shaking." He whispered kissing the corner of her mouth and her neck, "your whole body is."

"I think I have a reason to be shaking." She grinned and caressed his face, her thumb on his lips, "El?"

"Yeah?" he smiled, ducking his head and kissing her nipple softly before trailing his hand down to stroke her.

Her hand flew like lightning and pulled him away, "Too sensitive."

"Really?" He grinned, and pressed his lips to hers, "I don't think that's ever happened, has it?"

She laughed and shook her head, "No. No it hasn't."

"I love you." He whispered over her skin, "I love you more than you know."

"El?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to make love to me?" she whispered seriously.

"Do you want me to?" he asked with a playful grin.

"I do." She told him softly, "I need you to make love to me."

In the pale light he caught something out of the corner of his eye. He jerked his head to her nightstand, "What's with the pudding?"

She arched her brows, "Huh?"

"The pudding and pretzels sticks, what's up? You never like eating in the bedroom."

She raised herself up and rested on her elbows looking at him as if he were a lunatic, "Are you seriously asking me about my eating habits right now?"

"Yeah." He blinked at her, "Tell me…what happened?"

Her jaw went slack, her eyes closed slowly in disbelief, "Your girls," She said rubbing her belly, "decided to wake me up about midnight…I had a craving, but by the time I got back here, I was too tired to eat it so I just left it. It's not even open, so stop worrying." She whispered and raised her head for a kiss to which he evaded and sat back on his heels. She flopped back onto the pillows and groaned in frustration, "You're not going to make love to me, are you?

He looked at her for a long moment and trailed his eyes over her perfect body before looking back at the pudding. He stretched over her and kissed her mouth, "Yes." He whispered reaching for the pudding and stick pretzels, "I'm going to make love to you." He assured her and sat back on his heels, opening the snack in silence.

"What are you doing?" she asked in confusion, "Come on El, you're gonna get it all over the bed." She squirmed to get out from under him, "If you're hungry, just go eat, it's all right." She assured him.

He pushed her softly back to the bed, "Lay down."

"El-"

"Shh." He raised his brows and smiled, "I'm not necessarily hungry." He told her dipping the pretzel stick into the pudding, "and I am going to make love to you…but I'm gonna test your patience."

She smiled and giggled as he began to draw in chocolate over her breast. She laughed out loud in the most girlish tone he'd heard from her as she turned her torso to the side, "Elliot." She blushed, "what are you doing?"

He continued to draw on the curvature of her breast, the pretzel his brush, her skin his canvas, the chocolate his paint, "Giving Picasso a run for his money." He whispered and gently pushed her shoulders back to expose her flesh as he kneeled in front of her.

"That's cold and it tickles." She laughed again at the absurdity of what they were doing, but when she saw his smile, his enjoyment, it suddenly dawned on her that this is what Casey and Alex had been trying to explain to her, having fun with your husband…fun with your husband. In a moment she got it. "El?" she smiled and rested her hand on his forearm.

He looked at her and waited for her question to which she simply dipped the tip of her finger into the chocolate and traced his lips with it, pulling him to her and sucking softly, enjoying both the sweetness of the food and salt of his skin, "I like this." She whispered into his mouth and let him go before lying back onto the pillow, "Draw some more," She encouraged him, "but use your fingers…I want to feel you."

He grinned, cast the pretzel back onto the nightstand and drew abstractly on her body, as she closed her eyes and concentrated on the sensation of his knee between her legs, his finger lazily walking her skin, the coolness of the chocolate. The sound of him placing her once innocent craving back on the nightstand and swirling his tongue over her nipple. Innocence forgotten.

Her moans spurred him on, the salt of her skin and the taste of chocolate encouraged him to keep going, she raised up and meshed her flavored chest with his bland one and smiled against his lips as he knelt in front of her, "Let me show you what you just did?" she asked looking at the chocolate that had rubbed off onto his chest form hers.

He swallowed hard and nodded his approval then choked on a gasp as she sucked softly on his muscled chest, licked the trail of chocolate clean and sucked his nipple to a tender peak as he moaned and panted, "Liv." He whispered her name in gratitude of what she was doing, "Your mouth is amazing."

She smiled up at him, a Cheshire grin that made him want to bury himself within her, he caressed her face softly, studying her as if making love to her for the first time, "Your smile is so beautiful."

She grinned even wider and rested her forehead on his shoulder, her fingertips walking slowly down his chest to his abdomen, resting at his belly button and rubbing her thumb over the sensitive skin, "Can I show you how amazing it is?" He pulled her hand away and smiled shaking his head, "Why not?" she asked in confusion.

"Because," he whispered laying her back down and settling himself between her legs, "I want to make love to you."

"What happened to testing my patience?"

"I give."

"You can't give…you weren't being tested." She teased.

"Liv," he rubbed himself into her and kissed her neck, "Let me have you? Let me make love to you."

She smiled at the seriousness in his voice, "Please."

He grinned and looked up at her, took her hand in his and guided her to himself watching her face change just as she had watched his that morning. Her mouth dropped into a perfect O, her eyes wide at what she'd discovered, "El." She smiled.

"You're not the only one that can wield a razor, Liv." He smiled and kissed her, "Let me make love to you."

"I don't know what you're waiting for." She smiled then cringed when he settled closer to her.

"What? What's wrong? Did it hurt?"

"No." She shook her head and blushed, "El…different position, please? The babies…it's uncomfortable."

He grinned, "Different position it is." He told her rolling to her side and helping her onto hers until he was spooned tightly with her body, "You fit me…have you ever noticed that?" he whispered delicately pulling her top leg over his thigh.

She reached back and caressed his face, "I have…make love to me, El, don't make me beg anymore."

He chuckled and kissed her shoulder, holding her thigh over his and pushing into her gently surprised when she broke instantly and dug her hand into his thigh, panting, and coming as if they had been nearing the end rather than the beginning. When her body settled she covered her face and laughed into the pillow, "I'm so sorry."

He laughed into her neck, "Don't be." He whispered, "You have no idea what that did for my ego."

She laughed but steeled him immediately when he attempted to thrust, "No…wait, please?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She assured him pulling his hand from her thigh to her waist, "Just…this is perfect, I have my sons, my babies and you…it's perfect, right now, this is perfect." She told him softly and after several seconds of having him encompassed in her warmth, she moved her bottom softly against his hips and smiled when he took the lead and began to move inside of her.

"I don't know how long I'll last." He whispered, "It's been awhile, Liv. I'm sorry."

"Shh." She whispered stretching her neck and turning to kiss him, "I don't care, I just want you."

He smiled, kissed her again and watched her turn her face back, his cheek against her, his arm around her middle as he thrust into her, her heat caressing his body as he pulled completely out and pushed back in with ever inch of himself. She moaned through parted lips, clutched his hand with hers and hooked her ankle around his leg.

"Look." He told her and watched as she looked down, watching their bodies join one another, she whimpered and clutched her muscles, reaching down and resting her index finger on his shaft. He felt the difference instantly, the feeling of her finger grazing him with every motion in and out of her body.

"Liv…Liv you're gonna make me come."

"No, no don't."

"I don't know if I can hold on." He groaned and bit into her shoulder as his hips moved into her faster.

She cried out as his teeth embedded themselves into her naked flesh. She clenched her jaw at the sensation of having her lover inside of her again, after such a devastating blow to both of their sexual egos, "I want it to last all night, El." She groaned knowing it was impossible, but she wanted it just the same. She was almost shocked when he brought them both to the point of climax and then withdrew immediately before either of them could.

"You can't do that." She panted, "That's not fair."

"You said all night." He told her out of breath as he pulled her close to him.

She groaned, "El…it was a figure of speech…please, make me come. Do whatever you want," she told him turning in his embrace and kissing him frantically, everywhere, "Whatever you want…I just want you inside of me."

"Touch yourself." He whispered sitting up and kneeling, his throbbing erection wanting more of her, but his willingness to torture winning out.

"What?" she groaned, "El, I don't want to make myself come, I want you."

"Please." He smiled and kissed her knee, "Touch yourself, you don't have to make yourself come, I just…I want to see what you look like."

She locked eyes with him and smiled softly, "If that's what you want." She whispered and walked her fingers along her body until she stroked herself and watch the full smile cross his lips as her head tilted back, her lips fell open and she moaned at her own caress. 

"Thought it wasn't your thing." He whispered stretching over her.

She opened her eyes, "This is your fault." She whispered.

He smiled and looked down between them, "Don't stop." He whispered looking back up.

"I'm gonna come." She gasped.

Elliot smiled and looked down at her face as it grew flush, her breathing rampant; the chords of her neck flexing as she finally gave into her own demand and screamed out her release, his mouth covering hers quickly as she moaned into him, her hips thrusting involuntarily as her body convulsed and his tongue soothed her back into reality.

"Why, did you let me do that?" she whispered almost in disappointment, "I wanted you."

He smiled, "What's the most orgasms you've had before in one time?"

She blushed "Two, why?"

"How many have you had tonight?" he whispered stroking her belly to calm her body.

She grinned sitting up on her elbows, "Three."

Elliot laughed, "Now that's not fair."

"What?"

"Women always get to have more fun."

She chuckled, "I don't think very many men can last as long as you do, especially considering we haven't had each other for awhile and all the foreplay."

"Ego stroke…I like it." He chuckled and stood up extending his hand to her.

"What?" she asked it.

"I thought we'd go for number four for you." He whispered into her ear and walked her back to the wall in front of the vanity area.

She smiled, "You're generous."

He turned her around, "Are you okay with this?"

"Definitely." She whispered and reached behind her to pull him closer to her as she rested her cheek against the cool of the wall.

He pushed into her easily and laced his hands with hers, her breath hitching as she took all of him in. She walked backward before he could thrust and forced him to sit on the counter as he held her. She rode him expertly, her legs extended to the bottom of the wall, pushing on her toes to bury him deeper inside of her. She moaned and dug her hands into his thighs.

He clenched his teeth and leaned back knocking the toothpaste into the sink followed by the stainless steel cup that went with a bang. She alternated movement, bouncing over him quickly until he was almost ready to come before ridding him in long strokes that made him growl into her. "I'm going to make you come, El." She whispered, riding him and hearing him hiss. "Come, Baby." She encouraged him.

He stood and wrapped his arm around her bringing her back to the wall, "Not before I make you come." He whispered thrusting into her. She shuddered feeling every vein of his erection slide against her walls, and just when he though he was gonna win and she was gonna break she stepped back into him and pressed him against the counter again.

"I want you to yell my name, EL." She told him quickly, "I'm going to make you." He stood and tried to put her back on the wall, she extended her leg and chuckled, "Nope." She tried to push him back hearing something else go bang. "What was that?" She gasped still trying to bring him over the edge.

He clenched his jaw trying to resist the urge to come, he wanted four for her and this was turning into a pleasurable competition…a playfulness that had not been invited into their bed before. He groaned, "Blow dryer." He gasped.

"Oh." She responded and he knew she didn't really care. She tried to make him sit again to which he quickly picked her up never breaking their connection as he sat on the edge of the bed, her on his lap, his hands on her breast as he kissed and sucked the line of her back. "El." She screeched.

He smiled She was breaking. "Come, Liv." He encouraged her and kissed her back, nipping gently along her spine and stroking her core. She broke instantly as he stoked her and wrapped his free arm around her, she screeched his name as she convulsed and rested where she was, her hands on his thighs, panting and gasping for air.

He chuckled and laid on his back as she remained over him. He patted her back, "I win Liv."

She took a deep breath, "I'm still gonna make you come." She told him and quickly but carefully pivoted in his lap, feeling him and the angle of his erection turn inside of her until she was face to face with him.

"Ah," He tossed his head back with a grin and panted, "Liv, you can't do that." He groaned and she pulled him up, wrapped her legs around him, he winced as her ankles collided with his pained back, but he recovered the instant she moved over him, her lips over his, in the most erotic form of pleasure he'd experienced. The slow motion of her hips, the flexing of her inner walls, her breath against him, her finger trailing his body until she grazed him just under his sac and felt him tense. She thrust over him again, bit his bottom lip and smiled when he thrust one final time, her name being called out against her neck as he held her waist tight, "Liv." He panted, "Liv, oh my…you have no…Liv…what was that?" he panted unable to form sentences, "You were…wow." He smiled and looked up at her, "Wow."

She chuckled against his cheek, "Ego stroke…I like it."

He laid back and groaned, "Back…legs."

She laughed and swung her leg gently off to lie next to him, "Legs…definitely legs." She groaned.

He sat up and smiled at her, covering her body with his own, "El." She shook her head and smiled, "Honey, I've got nothing else, you worse me out."

He shook his head softly and kissed her mouth tenderly helping her back to the top of the bed and pulling her close, "I just wanted you closer to me." He whispered.

She chuckled, "I love you."

"I love you, too." He whispered kissing her shoulder.

"El?" her voice was suddenly serious.

"Yeah?"

"Did you…did you have fun? Was that fun for you?" She asked.

He chuckled against her, "That was the most fun I've ever had."

She finally understood what it was to be passionate, to be hot and to have fun. She beamed. She got it.

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Olivia groaned as the light filtered into their bedroom, "No. Too early. Go back."

Elliot laughed against her, "Are you talking to the sun?"

"Yep." She chuckled and it's not listening to me.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Last night was really amazing." He whispered kissing the back of her neck.

"Good." She laughed and reached back to touch his face, "Because I don't think I can walk."

They laughed together, until he brought her closer to his body, "What do you have planned today?"

"Did you bring me paperwork?" She smiled and turned in his embrace.

"Yep a whole evidence box full." He teased and kissed her mouth.

"I have a doctor's appointment…two actually, and I have to take Isaac to the pediatrician." She told him snuggling closer to him and closing her eyes.

"Why are you going to the doctor?"

She laughed, "Did you forget I was pregnant?"

"No." he laughed, "Just a check up?"

"Yeah, gonna see if I can't get some lee way on the monitor."

"And the second appointment?"

She hesitated, "Optometrist."

"Huh?"

"Yeah…face it El." She teased, "I'm getting' old…having some trouble reading."

"Stop reading all of those magazines," he teased, "maybe the print is too small."

She laughed, "No…it's been pretty weird for a couple of months…I think I need glasses."

"Oh, hot." He grinned against her, "Get ones like you had when you went undercover."

She chuckled and slapped his arm playfully, "El, the whole goal is to not get glasses." She informed him kissing him softly on the mouth, "I've got to get ready…you're gonna be late for work."

"I got the day off." He grinned cockily.

"Why?"

"I'm a great detective…solved my case last night."

She smiled down at him as she stood naked in front of him, "Good, that means you can come to the doctors with me." She winked and walked away, "Go ahead and sleep while I shower." She called back to him before going into the restroom. She finished as quickly as possible. Her legs and back sore. She laughed getting ready to brush her teeth and pulling the toothpaste from the sink, the cup and picking up the blow dryer.

She brushed her teeth and rinsed with her towel fastened around her. She was cleaning the excess rinse down the sink when she heard Elliot groan and actually whimper. She furrowed her brow, turned the water off and wiped her face with a towel as she turned and gasped.

"Elliot!" she dropped the towel and moved to him quickly, the sight of a horrendous and large bruise across his back, a foot print stamped into his skin, "What happened?" she screeched caressing his face and for the first time in the brighter light she saw the scratches on the side.

"I'm okay…just stiff." He assured her and tried to stand only to wince and hold on to her as tight as possible, "Okay," he exhaled "that hurt."

She lowered him back to the bed, "What happened?" she whispered in concern, the scratches on his arms and hands, "Oh, Baby, why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have had you make love, why didn't you tell me?" she asked resting her forehead against his.

He chuckled, "Because I knew you'd make me rest and I wanted you."

She laughed and cried at the same time. A smile when she pulled away, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He grinned, "Definitely worth it."

She closed her eyes and laughed softly before looking at him, "Let me see?" she whispered, "Please?"

He nodded his head and bowed laying on his side slowly before wincing and shifting to his stomach, "Hey Liv?" his voice was bright.

"Yeah?" she whispered tracing the shoe print with her fingertips.

"You know how they say that back pain is the worse kind of pain you can experience?"

"Yeah."

He swallowed hard, his voice broke, "It's true."

"What happened?" she asked again kissing his bruised spine and muscle, "Who did this to you?"

"We were chasing a guy down an ally, Mac cut him off…hey, Mac can move, the guy is fast." Elliot whispered and turned his face to look at her. "Mac was restraining him and he got away, I beat feet to catch up…tackled him and somehow he wormed away, next thing I know there's an intense pain in my back and he's stomping the crap out of me." Elliot chuckled in spite of glassy eyes, "Mac beat the crap out the guy…it was brilliant, Liv." He smiled.

She shook her head, "I told you to be careful." She whispered and kissed his lips, "I love you.'

"I love you…what time do we need to go."

"You're going to sleep." She whispered, "It'll be okay, he'll either say yes the babies are good or they're not, and the other one will say yep I need glasses or I don't…get rest, call me if you need me." She whispered and kissed him again, "I love you."

He held her hand and smiled through watery eyes, "I love you."

She exhaled; she knew he had to be in excruciating pain to be fighting tears. She would have liked to pop him one for going through with last night. Instead she smiled softly at him.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

She looked away, "Can you help me onto my back, I can't…I can't-"

"Yeah. It's okay." She whispered and helped him onto his back, his body wincing as he groaned and sucked in air holding fiercely to her. She embraced him knowing it would kill him for her to look at his face right now. She let him hold her; let him use the embrace as a mask for the fact that she knew he wanted to cry from the pain, "I love you." She whispered and kissed him softly at him temple.

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"So what brings you by Mrs. Stabler?" A young pediatrician bounced into the exam room an infectious grin on her lips.

"Well," Olivia extended her hand and shook hands, "I wanted to…have a check up for my son, Isaac."

"Hi, Isaac." The doctor smiled at the little boy who grinned back, "I'm Lynn and you have the most amazing eyes." She told him reaching out for him, "Is there a particular concern you have Mrs. Stabler?" the doctor asked putting her stethoscope in her ears.

"Please, call me Olivia." She smiled and explained the circumstances that led her to the office, her concern for her mental health, the possibility that the kidnapping may have retarded him somehow.

"I see." Lynn nodded softly and grinned at the little boy who pointed at her nose and then his.

"Nuze." He smiled.

Olivia looked at him wide eyed, "What did he say?"

Lynn smiled, "Nose…and what's this?" she asked pointing to her lips.

"Mouf." He chuckled.

"Come here." Lynn motioned to Olivia, "Ask him…he'll tell ya." She encouraged Olivia whose eyes were bright with tears.

"He's never really said anything." She whispered.

"Well, he's all talk right now." Lynn laughed, "Go ahead."

Olivia grinned at her son, "What's this, Baby?" she asked brightly pointing to his nose.

He giggled and touched hers, "Nuze….mouf." he told her pawing her lips with his hand and standing on the examination table, "Hug." He smiled and rested against her.

"Regular little chatter box." Lynn smiled.

Olivia swiped at her tears as she held him close, "He…this is the most he's ever said since he's been home."

"How long has he been home?"

"About a week."

"Oh, then I'd say he's a pretty normal twenty month old…he needs time to adjust…what does he do at home?" she asked.

"He sleeps…a lot." Sam groaned, "He's a bad play mate cause all he does is sleep."

The group laughed as Isaac stayed rested against her chest, "He eats a lot but I don't know if that's because he's still not on solids."

"Ah," The doctor waved her hand, "He's ready for it…it's a precaution that most doctors take with the little ones, but go ahead, try him on some oatmeal, cereal, go for it."

"He sleeps quite a bit." Olivia said softly, "Is that normal for his age?"

"Mmm. Not really, but its not uncommon considering his circumstance, how many hours would you say he sleeps a day?"

"He sleeps through the night and an hour nap here and there…probably thirteen."

"Not a big deal." She smiled, "Kids sleep…thank your lucky stars because when he's ten you're gonna want those naps." She laughed, "Here's the deal, he's twenty months old, he's still so young, he's been through stuff that most adults probably wouldn't handle…let him adjust and if he's not walkin' talkin' and shoving his rubber ducky down the toilet…then we'll look at him with a more suspicious eye…how's that?"

Olivia mulled it over, "Okay…but other than that…does he look well? Does he look like an average twenty month old?"

"Well," Lynn smiled and touched her stethoscope to his back and paused, "his heart is strong, his smile is big and he has got the most exotic eyes I've ever seen on a little boy…I'd say he's doing just fine."

Olivia smiled down at her son and kissed his forehead softly, "Here that? You're fine." She whispered more for her own ears than his, "You're fine."

"When things settle down with him..You'll want to start potty training…good luck with that." Lynn smiled, "It's interesting to say the least."

"Guess what Lynn?" Sam suddenly chirped.

She laughed, "What? Tell me?" she told him ruffling his hair.

"My mom needs glasses." He grinned.

Olivia's jaw went slack, "Sam." She chuckled, "Come on…your making me out to be old."

"Yeah," Lynn smiled and tapped Sam's sunglasses on his face, "but her glasses won't be nearly as cool as these super hero glasses, huh?"

"Nope." Sam grinned, "My mom got them because she says I'm a super hero."

Lynn grinned, "Sounds like your mom really loves her kids."

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"Snack or nap?" Olivia asked as she ushered her boys into the house.

"Nap." Sam groaned, "Too much driving and going places today mom."

"Yeah, but don't you think Crystal is gonna like the present you got her?"

He grinned, "Yeah."

"Alright then, just remember, shopping is my strong suit…go ahead and jump in your bed, get some sleep and maybe if your dad feels better we can listen to a cartoon tonight huh?"

"Yeah." Sam smiled, "Is dad going to the doctor?"

"No…he's just banged up." She assured him and kissed his head, "Thanks for ratting me out on the glasses, kid."

He laughed, "Alex wears glasses and Robert says she's the most gorgeous woman in the world."

Olivia grinned, "Go get your nap…I love you."

"Love you, too." He grinned and trotted away.

Olivia turned around and furrowed her brow. Isaac had just been there and was gone, "Isaac?" She called to him softly, "Honey, where are you?"

"Boo!" He suddenly appeared form the other side of the couch, clapping his hands and giggling as Olivia gasped being genuinely startled.

"Hey." She finally found her laugh, "Looks like I got a jokester huh?"

"Boo, Liv!" he grinned again.

Olivia raised her brows, "What, honey?"

"Boo!" he chuckled and plopped on his bottom scooting off the couch and running to his mom raising his hands to her, "Up."

She was stunned. But bent low to pick him up, she smiled at him, "Boy, some one got his switch flipped, huh?" He grinned at her and watched her eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers, "Boo, Liv." He told her again.

"No." She whispered and pointed to her self, "MaMa."

He looked at her in confusion, "Liv."

"MaMa." She told him again and pointed to him, "Isaac."

He pointed to himself, "Saac."

"That's right!" Olivia laughed and hugged him, "Yep…you're gonna be just fine." She chuckled and walked with him to her room where Elliot was fumbling with pillows and groaning trying to get comfortable.

"Hey, El." She smiled and let Isaac go on the bed so she could help him sit up, "How ya feeling?"

"Actually better." He grinned and kissed her, "I took a shower." He told her holding out his arm for his son to take so he could pull him close, "I managed to get some boxers on, but I'm pretty sore." He chuckled, and kissed Isaac, "How were the doctor's?" Elliot asked sitting Isaac on his lap and letting him curios paws explore his muscular frame.

Olivia exhaled and started to change, "The babies are fine, and guess what?"

"What?"

"No more monitor unless I'm going out." She grinned pulling on a camisole.

"That's great!" Elliot smiled and groaned when Isaac stood and then let his body weight drop on his abdomen, "Isaac…you're killing me." He smiled but still continued to play with his son, "Your eye appointment?"

"Not so great." She exhaled, "Think the guys will call me four-eyed-Benson?"

"You need glasses?" Elliot grinned, "Now that's great!"

"Great?" Olivia frowned, "How's that?"

"You look very sexy in glasses." He smiled, "I for one can't wait…when they coming in?"

She frowned, "five to ten days…glad one of us is happy."

Elliot laughed, "Don't worry about it…how's my boy here? What did his doctor say?"

"Said he's got exotic eyes and he's a regular little chatter box." She smiled and laid next to him as they both looked at the blued eyed boy.

"What do you mean chatter box?"

"Oh yeah, ultimate little prankster here." Olivia laughed, "I tell the doctor I'm concerned cause he's not acting like a normal twenty month old and five seconds letter he starts talking like he's a guest speaker at a convention." She grinned.

"Well…what's he saying?" Elliot asked anxiously.

Olivia grinned, "Watch." She told Elliot and looked at her son, "Honey, what's this?" she asked touching Elliot's nose.

Isaac grinned and touched his nose, "Nuze."

Elliot stared wide eyed, "Holy sh-"

"Cow." Olivia raised her brows, "I think you were gonna say holy cow, in front of him."

He chuckled, "Yeah, holy cow."

"Ask him about your lips, El."

Elliot smiled and looked at his son, "Isaac, what are these?"

"Mouf." He chirped and then covered Elliot's eyes with his hands, "Eweys….Ear." he told him with a chuckle and tugged on his ears.

Olivia laughed, "Well, those last two are new." She smiled.

"Hey," Elliot whispered wiping her tear, "What with the tears?"

She swallowed and shook her head, "He called me Liv."

"That's great!" Elliot grinned then frowned when Olivia looked at him as if he had two heads, "Not great?"

"Did you call your mom by her first name?" she whispered, "I'm his mom."

"Hey," Elliot stretched uncomfortably to hold her, "One step at a time, it'll happen." He whispered.

"Thank you." She exhaled and kissed him.

"No problem," He told her then paused and, "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you push me up, please?" he chuckled.

She smiled and helped him sit straight up again just as Isaac jump up and plopped on his pampered bottom, "Bownci." He giggled and did it again, "Bownci."

Olivia laughed and pulled him close, her nose nuzzling his, "I love you."

He rested tiny hands on her jaw and smiled, "I Wuv Eww."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other in shock, "Wow." Elliot laughed as Isaac wedged his way between them and rested close to his father.

Olivia stroked his back softly and rested her head on Elliot's shoulder, "I'll take that."

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"Is it straight?" Sam asked fiddling with his tie as Olivia led him up the porch of Crystal's house.

"For the fifteenth time." Olivia laughed touching his shoulder, "Your tie is fine, why are you so worried?"

"Mom, why aren't Dad and Isaac with us?"

"Cause Isaac is too young, and your Dad is still having a little bit of trouble with his back."

"But he goes to work."

"Yeah, but he sits at the desk."

"Oh…is my tie straight?" he asked again as Olivia rang the door bell.

"Yes, Baby!" she laughed, "It's perfect, you tied it ten times and I double checked it every time…why does crystal make you so nervous?" she laughed as the door knob turned.

"Because I'm gonna marry her." Sam said simply.

Olivia turned to him stunned as a voice from the threshold greeted them.

"Mom." Sam nudged her, "Say hi." He whispered.

Olivia shook her head slightly and looked up and the blond haired woman, "Hi, I'm Olivia Stabler, this is my son-"

"Sam!' The woman grinned looking down at the youngster, "Crystal has told me a lot about you."

Sam smiled and tightened his grip on Olivia's hand, "I got her a present." He said softy and handed it to the woman, "Can I ask what your name is?"

_Wow, lay on the charm Buddy_. Olivia smiled.

"I'm Denise, I'm Crystal's mom, please come in." she smiled and motioned for their entry, "Can I get you something?"

"Crystal?" Sam said softly, "Can I talk to her?"

"Yeah, sure, she's in the kitchen."

Olivia looked around the house taking notice that no one except them were there, "I'm sorry…did I get the time wrong?"

"No." Denise smiled softly, "I asked Crystal to invite her friends and she invited Sam…she's not a real…social butterfly."

"Really?" Olivia chuckled, "Because the way Sam talks about her, she's pretty fantastic."

"She is fantastic." Denise grinned, "But most people don't look past the scar….I think that's why she's comfortable with Sam."

"Scar?" Olivia asked softly then blushed, "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude."

"You weren't." Denise smiled and then grinned looking over her shoulder, "Oh, please I want you to meet my husband, "This is Zeph."

"Hello." He grinned, "Thank you so much for coming, my daughter speaks highly of your son."

Olivia chuckled and shook his hand, "Believe me when I tell you, likewise."

"Well," Denise grinned and kissed her husband on the cheek, "who wants hotdogs?"

Olivia found herself laughing in the easy going presence of Zeph and Denise, she listened to them talk about how they first met, their daughters birth, their reluctance to put her in a public school after her accident. They were good people and Olivia found it refreshing to be in the presence of a new couple, but at the same time she wanted to plan a big dinner and invite her friends over, catch up, have a good time.

Olivia watched Sam and Crystal interact with one another. She was as gentle as he was, her voice soft, yet entirely firm. There was boldness about her in spite of her scarring. There was a confidence. She had grinned at Sam's gift, and inexpensive chessboard that they literally spent hours playing as he taught her. Olivia stood in awe of Sam…teaching chess. No sight and teaching chess. Life is good.

"She says he protects her at school." Denise said softly.

"Excuse me?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "What do you mean?"

"Crystal…because of the scar, gets teased a lot, but she says that Sam try to step in and ends up taking the brunt of it."

Olivia shook her head, "He never says anything, I mean, I know he himself gets teased and pushed around, but he never really says anything about sticking up for her."

"Well," Denise exhaled, "whatever he does, we appreciate him…this is the first year that she hasn't come home from school every day in tears…she's a fighter, but kids," she shook her head.

"Kids are cruel." Olivia finished her sentence, "They really get along don't they?" she smiled looking at the two laugh and giggle at the table. The way Crystal was attentive and helpful to him but didn't let Sam get away with too much. Olivia grinned, her son found a friend.

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"Geeze, did they have a bar at the party?" Elliot chuckled as Olivia slipped into bed beside him.

"Ouch!" she chirped hitting her head on something. She felt around in the dark and groaned, "Elliot, they make a phone cradle for a reason." She chuckled replacing the phone and turning back to him, "Sorry, I took all night, Sam was having way too much fun and the parents are really great people." She informed him, before kissing him softly at first then much more affectionately, "How was Isaac?"

"He says wee wee."

"What?"

"Yep, I taught him that." Elliot smiled proudly.

"You didn't?" she laughed, "El, what possessed you to do that?"

"Hey," Elliot laughed stroking her arm, "The kid came running in grabbing his pamper and slapping my gut…I had to take matters into my own hands…he was trying to tell me he was wet, I just offered a better form of communication." He grinned.

She laughed and kissed him again resting her head on his chest, "Crystal is a good friend for Sam." She whispered.

"Yeah? What's she like?" Elliot asked stroking her arm softly.

"She has a scar on her face…pretty bad…covers her cheek…but she's the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen." Olivia told him rubbing his abdomen softly.

"A scar? How'd she get it?"

"Car accident, they were hit by a drunk driver and her car seat didn't hold, she slammed into the window."

"Wow…and she lived? Amazing."

"She's amazing, you should see how she interacts with Sam, they're equals, she doesn't see his blindness and he doesn't care about her scar…it was neat to see them interact with one another."

"Maybe he doesn't know about her scars." Elliot whispered.

"He does…Crystal's mom, Denise, told me that Crystal often tells her that Sam take the brunt of teasing so that Crystal doesn't have to."

"Wow," Elliot shook his head, "He doesn't say anything."

"I know." She whispered, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"Who called?"

"Oh, everyone and their mother, it was like Grand Central Station." He groaned.

"Who?" she whispered.

"Your eye doctor…your glasses are ready."

She buried her face in his shirt, "No." She groaned.

"Liv…if it really bothers you, why didn't you get contacts?"

"I did…for work, though. I don't want to fuss with them around the house, I just want to be with you guys, simple, uncomplicated." She told him, "Who else called?"

"Casey…wanted to know how you were; I told her you were still sexy."

Olivia laughed, "And what did she say?"

"She chuckled and told me to tell you to call her back."

"I miss her."

"It's only been a couple of days." Elliot smiled, "what's wrong? You seem a little down."

"I'm not." She told him kissing his abdomen through his shirt and wiping her silent tears on the cloth, "Anyone else call?"

"Alex…I hope you don't mind, but, I told her about Munch."

"I don't mind…I didn't want to have to tell her…Fin is so pissed off at us right now."

"I know." Elliot whispered, "Well talk with him though…well get it figured out." He promised her.

"That all?"

"No…Munch's attorney's called." He told her softly and pulled her up to look at her. He tucked her hair behinds her ear, "He's home." He whispered and kissed her forehead softly, "I made the arrangements over the phone, and everything is set for next week."

She took a deep breath and kissed him "Thank you…I didn't want to have to do that."

"I knew it would be hard." He told her gently, "But, he's got a cops funeral coming to him…you're gonna have to get a maternity uniform, Liv." He told her softly, "I called that place in the city...Best Uniforms or something like that, I'm pretty sure I got your size right, you just need to go in tomorrow, try it on and pay for it, okay?"

She wiped a tear and sniffled, "Okay."

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"Hey El!" Olivia called down the hall, "Come look what the cat drug in."

"Mom!" Sam groaned, "That's mean."

"It's a saying, Son…relax." She told him and kissed him gently.

"What?" Elliot asked walking down the hall with a pampered Isaac following quickly behind him, "Oh, wow…Olivia, where did you find such a pretty little girl?"

"Dad!" Sam scrubbed his face with his hand, "Sorry Crystal."

She grinned, "It's okay, Hi, Mr. Stabler." She smiled and extended her hand to him.

Elliot looked at Olivia who grinned and draped her maternity uniform over the couch, "Please," Elliot smiled shaking the little girls hand, "Call me Elliot…Sam you didn't tell me you have such good looking friends."

Olivia smiled at Elliot's willingness to avoid the scar, smiled seeing him look her directly in the eyes as if it didn't exists, "So what's on the agenda today?" Elliot asked the two kids in front of him, "Water fight? Chess? Oh…movie!" Elliot grinned.

"We have homework." Crystal smiled.

"Science." Sam groaned and shook his head, "Mom's helping us."

"Yep." Olivia smiled, "Just as soon as you two go play some of that energy off…Tripod is in the back yard anxious to see you." She told them and ushered them out, "Come in when you're exhausted!" she teased and closed the door to see Isaac looking up at her,"Hello, honey."

"Hi." He grinned and reached up to her, "Up."

"Bossy." She laughed and picked him up easily then steeled immediately and grabbed her belly, "El."

"Yeah?"

"Come here, quick." She grinned and hand him place her hand, "They're moving like crazy." She laughed.

"Yeah, they are." He chuckled rubbing her belly until the motions stopped. He kissed her on the cheek, "So…show me."

"Show you what?" She furrowed her brow and let Isaac down as he started to squirm out of her arms.

"Your glasses…you picked them up right?"

She groaned, "I don't want to."

"Oh, you sound really mature." He teased and embraced her waist; "Show me?" he whispered kissing her mouth gently, "I want to see them."

"Did you find my hat?" She asked changing the subject.

"Yes, Liv." He grinned, "It's right there, I even ran a lint brush over it for you."

"Oh." She grinned picking it up, "How very domestic of you."

"Shut up." He laughed, "I never saw you in your cop hat before." He told her, gently removing it from her hands.

"Yeah you have, remember that protest for Precious Doe…we were in uniform."

"Oh." He pressed his lips together, "Put it on?" he grinned.

"No." She laughed, "I don't like them, they flatten my hair."

"Oh, that's very girly of you." He laughed, "Come on…the hat or the glasses…pick."

She scowled playfully at him and pulled her hair back into a ponytail using a rubber band from the coffee table to secure it, "Give me the hat."

"Maybe I want to see the glasses."

She snatched it from him with a smile, "Then you shouldn't have given me the choice. She smiled as Isaac reached up to Elliot and asked to be picked up.

He squatted all the way down and carefully picked him up making sure to keep him back straight, "The hat, woman." Elliot smiled, "Come on I want to see."

Olivia rolled her eyes and put the cap on, "There. Ya satisfied?"

"MaMa!" Isaac screeched through a grin and reached for her.

She stared at him in shock, her eyes threatening to pool, "W-what, Baby?"

He grinned at her and reached for her again, she took him into her arms and removed the hat to which he frowned and shook his head, "No!"

"Liv…it's the hat…he recognizes you in that hat."

She put it back on, "Hi, Big Boy." She cooed hoping he'd say it again minutes past and he didn't. "Maybe it was a fluke?" Olivia asked in disappointment.

"Maybe one of the pictures Adrianne used was your academy photo? Or your promotion photos?" he speculated.

"Yeah." Olivia shook her head in agreement still wishing he'd say it just one more time so she knew it wasn't a fluke. She smiled softly and rested her head against her son's, "I love you."

He giggled and rested his arms on her shoulder, "Wuv Eww, MaMa."

Elliot grinned, "That wasn't a fluke."

She wiped her eyes and grinned through a sob resting her head on his shoulder as he slipped his arm around her waist and rubbed their son's back, "No," She agreed, "It wasn't."


	29. Chapter 29 I Have To Go

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 29 I Have To Go

A/N: HOLY CRAP! I am so incredibly sorry for the delay in updating. I was going to finish the story before May 1st but my computer crashed, and three days later I left for South East Asia. I was there for a month and had to pay to access a computer, so I couldn't actually type a chapter…it would have cost a fortune and none of the computers would allow me to upload an Author's note to let you all know what happened. Anyway, I came home with full intentions to post during the first week of June…well, that's before I got second degree burns all over my back and a blood infection…I've spent several days back and forth in the hospital, I've had my back scraped, (Most excruciating experience of my life!) I think I vomit more than I breathe and I know I definitely have more diarrhea than I have ever had in my life. So, I'm really sorry guys, but if it helps, I'm sicker than a dog, this one is short but, it's not like I'm just blowing ya all off! Thanks for hanging in there though! And with that sappy story…a new chapter!

Olivia watched in stunned silence at the people around her. Casey's tear streaked face rested on her husband's shoulder, their hands intertwined, and to her immediate right sat Alex, her head bowed, dark sunglasses covering her swollen and puffy eyes as Robert rubbed her back in soothing motions.

Olivia wished that Elliot was next to her, to hold her and care for her as these men cared for their wives, yet, she understood the importance to Elliot of being a pall bearer next to Fin, Mac and Cragen. No cop should ever be laid to rest by unfamiliar hands. She watched, almost in awe of her husband and Mac as they carefully, and with the most extreme military bearing she'd witnessed, removed the American Flag that adorned the casket. That great symbol that should have been flying proudly in the air, laid limply and humbly over the casket until it was brought back to life by hands of Marines, Cops and Detectives.

Truly, there is nothing more humbling than a twenty-one gun salute, the hollow commands of a voice, clad in a dress uniform, complete with the mourning stripe over the badge. Olivia swiped her tear under her sunglasses feeling it absorb into her white gloves as she stood at the position of attention, the shots echoing through the silent cemetery as her husband and Mac snapped the National Ensign, folded it like only a true Marines could, crisp, sharp; humbled.

Each fold adding to the thickness of a triangle that would never be freely flown again, and would take with it a great man. His glance over the glasses he couldn't not wear, those ridiculously skinny ties, that beautiful sarcasm that, while they acted as if it irritated them, they all would do anything to have it back in this moment. In that moment they all wanted John back.

Olivia watched carefully as Mac made his way with the flag ceremoniously tucked between open palms, held tight to his abdomen…then a pause as he looked at the seat Fin should have been sitting in, yet wasn't. Olivia broke her military bearing for all of five seconds to take a quick glance around. Fin was nowhere to be found and while he didn't know it, Munch had requested that his flag go to his partner. His family. She brought her eyes back to the front and watched as Mac had no choice but to kneel on one knee in front of Captain Cragen and present the flag with a voice she couldn't hear, yet words she knew by heart.

_On behalf of New York City Police Department I present this American Flag to you in the memory of our fallen Comrade and friend Detective John Munch_.

Olivia exhaled a wave of sadness as Mac stood to his feet, executed a painfully slow salute in honor of the fallen detective. An about face in crisp slowness was rendered and Olivia was shocked to see that Mac's face was tear streaked. There is such honor in these proceedings…of lowering a fellow cop into the earth, it's humbling, and while she knows Mac didn't know him personally, she has received a glance into the person Mac is. Tears shed for a fallen comrade, for his shield that would never be brandished again.

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"Were you surprised?" Elliot spoke softly as they walk down the sidewalk looking for an apartment building that they had only been to once between the two of them.

"With what?" Olivia responded removing her gloves and tucking them into her uniform so she could lace her hand with his.

"With the amount of people who showed up to the funeral?"

"No." She sniffled clutching the flag under her arm, "I was surprised that it was all cops though…no family. I don't think I realized just how alone he truly was, had I known, I would have made more of an effort to include him in ours."

"Well," Elliot exhaled as she led him up the steps of the building, "technically his family was there…his partner, us, the force. He had a hero's funeral and I think he deserved it."

She nodded as they got into the elevator, "Third floor." She whispered and leaned into his embrace, "I would have liked for him to know that we got Isaac back; that we're having twins and that Sam has adjusted so well…that you and I are happy."

"I think he knows." Elliot assured her as the elevator doors opened and they made their way down a long hall stopping at 5E.

"He's so angry with us." Olivia whispered.

"Which is why, I think Cragen had us bring the flag to him."

"He's really hurting over this and he refuses to let people see it." She exhaled and knocked on the door and waited.

"I'm busy!" Fin snapped the door open and slammed it back shut.

Olivia took a deep breath, "Nice."

Elliot knocked again and waited.

"What part of," the door suddenly swung open to see a very angry Fin on the other side, "I'm busy don't you get?" He snapped and attempted to slam the door when Elliot managed to slip his hand through only to have the door close on it.

"AHHH!" Elliot groaned at the pain, "Fin! Open the door!"

"Go away, Stabler, I don't need your pity!"

"Well, I need my hand!" Elliot barked and slammed his other fist against the door frame in frustration.

Olivia leaned up against the door to offer some release for his hand, "Fin, come on." Olivia spoke slightly softer but equally as frustrated, "Look, I know your angry with us, but…come on, I'm pregnant and…I have to pee. I need your restroom." She begged. Elliot cocked a brow in disbelief of her tactic as his hand started to throb.

"What?" She shrugged as if she couldn't think of anything else, and when the door was finally released from Fin's weight, she smiled and winked at Elliot who groaned at the sudden release of blood to the end of his hand.

"What the hell? Fin!" Elliot said as they stepped into the apartment.

"Stop being a pansy." Fin snapped in disgust as he turned to walk into the living room, "The bathroom is down the hall."

"I don't have to use it." Olivia told him with a small smirk.

He shook his head, "Figures. What do you two want?"

"Your forgiveness." Olivia told him softly and when there was no answer, when he still refused to look at them she placed the flag on his countertop, "Munch wanted you to have the ensign from his funeral." She whispered, "We're having a get together at our place, sort of a last Hoorah for John. We'd like you to come, Fin."

A moment of silence before he turned to them and spoke in defeat, "Whatever. Please…just leave."

"Okay." Elliot nodded.

"No-not okay." Olivia stepped forward and stared right into Fin's eyes, "Look, I know you're pissed at us, and you have every right to be, we should have told you, but we were stuck between respecting what John wanted…I hope you can understand that eventually, but let me tell you something Fin…the anger that I had with you all for what happened at the cemetery ate at me, and it kept me awake and night, and it weighed me down and it's gonna do the same thing to you too if you don't step up."

"You could have told me why he left!" Fin shouted, "I sat there and I hated him for leaving, because I thought he was playing the righteous cop…he was dying!"

"Fin," Olivia lowered her voice, "I'm sorry we couldn't tell you."

"You could have!" he barked again, "You could have said he was sick!"

"Why?" Olivia whispered, "Why is this eating at you?"

"Because," Fin turned away and scrubbed his hands over his face in defeat, "if I knew he was sick…I wouldn't have wasted my time hating him…I would have, hoped the best for him." He said sitting on the leather couch and exhaling, "Mac's a good cop…but he knows crap about JFK."

Olivia smiled softly and sat down next to him on the edge of the couch, "I'm sorry, Fin...I'm sorry we didn't tell you John was sick, I'm sorry we had to bury our friend today, I'm sorry you lost your partner…I'm so sorry." She whispered and rubbed his shoulder soothingly a friendly peck on his temple, "We still want you to come…we'll see you if we see you." She whispered and stood to walk out with Elliot but stopped with Fin called for them at the door, "Yeah?" Elliot responded turning around to face him.

Fin stared at the television that was off and whispered roughly, "I'm not upset with you guys…I'm just…not use to caring."

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"Didn't you just come from a funeral for crying out loud?" Donovan huffed walking into Melinda's office.

"Sure did…and it sucked, what did I pull you away from this time? Mercenaries?" She rolled her eyes opening a filing cabinet to make a withdrawal of paperwork.

"You know," Donovan smirked placing his work bag down, "you sure know a lot about Xbox for someone who doesn't believe in video games."

"They warp your brain." She informed him, motioning for him to follow her into the examination room.

"No they don't." He protested, "I've been playing video games since I was knee-high to a grasshopper."

"Need I say more?" She smiled at his fake look of hurt, "Yeah…you walked right into that one."

"No joke." He laughed, "That stung…so…why did you pull me away from my lunch date" he asked with a cheesy grin.

"Lunch date?" She arched her brow, "What is that like the millionth date you've had with her since you started seeing her?"

"No." He shook his head blushing, and then cocked in slightly to the left, "Just the tenth."

"Wow…you really like this girl, huh?"

He shrugged, "I'd give up my Xbox for her."

"Such the romantic."

"What can I say…it's why the ladies want me."

"Lady." Melinda corrected placing two DNA profiles back on the light box.

"What?"

"Lady…not lad_ies_…don't get a big head on me now."

"How can I?" He laughed, "I mean…with your classic put downs, I couldn't even _dream_ of getting a big head."

"You think their classic?" She grinned.

"Oh yeah." He laughed, "With just the right amount of sting. It's like you're my addiction and I'm dumb enough to come back for more."

"Well, so long as you recognize that you're not the genius you thought you were…and I'm the classic lady I knew I was."

"Oh…funny. How about you show me what you want to show me…I got a date tonight."

She arched her brows again, "She can actually stand to be around you that much?"

"Melinda!" he scolded and pointed to the DNA profiles, "Come on."

"Hey, I'm just saying…I'd like to kill you sometimes."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes, "You are so full of piss and vinegar. You know that?"

"Yep."

"Well then, Pissy." Donovan pointed back at the DNA profiles, "Why am I here and not playing with Chloe and Matthew?"

"Playing?"

"Melinda! The DNA! Focus!"

"Alright, alright. Geez, this 'new you' sucks." She laughed and pointed at the profiles that were illuminated on the light box.

"Why do these look familiar?" Donovan asked taking a step closer and cocking his head, "The Ganzner profiles?"

"Yep…that's them." She exhaled.

"Why are you still looking at them? It's clear that the infant from the wreckage matches the DNA from Nick Ganzner…why are you still bothered?" he asked leaning on the counter.

"Well." Melinda swallowed and exhaled, "How did Nick Ganzner's baby get in the burned out vehicle?"

Donovan arched his brow and pursed his lips, "Good question, but it seems obvious…whoever took Isaac, placed the infant there."

"Nick took Isaac...which means-"

Donovan cocked his head sharply and looked at Melinda in realization and disgust, "Nick Ganzner killed his own baby."

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"And so Robert falls down the last two steps and busts his nose on the counter," Alex grinned as Robert rolled his eyes, "There was blood everywhere."

Olivia chuckled as Isaac crawled into her lap, too many people in the home seemed to make him clingy, but that was just fine with her. She supported his body against hers as Alex continued to explain to the crowd at the diner table why Robert's face was swollen and blue, his nose broken and lip busted.

"Sounds painful." Paul smiled at Robert.

"No." Robert shook his head, "Not at all."

"Only because you were unconscious." Alex chuckled, "Sprawled out, in his boxers…good thing I came home early."

"You know," Robert teased his wife, "I could have died…I could have bled to death and you would miss me so badly that you wouldn't know what to do."

Olivia's laugh took over, "Alex…is he always so dramatic?"

"You've got no idea." Alex chuckled and kissed his cheek softly, "But, I guess I'm in love with him, so a girl's got to make sacrifices."

Laughter around the table was clearly evident as Alex and Robert continued to chuckle about his endeavor in the emergency room, he made sure to tell Elliot that the emergency room doctor says 'hi'. That's when Olivia noticed that Elliot wasn't actually paying attention to the conversation. Olivia wasn't sure what was going on in his mind exactly but his look of frustration was clearly written for her to read. She placed her hand on his thigh under the table as their guests, theirs circle of friends continued to laugh as Addison ended up on his mother's lap smiling happily as Casey rubbed his back.

Olivia looked to her husband, whose brows were furrowed, his head cocked slightly as the noise level increased in the dinning room, stories and laughter being shared amongst friends. And the occasional kiss between lovers, save Mac who was happy just listening and learning about the people before him. Fin hadn't made his presence known and Elliot and Olivia weren't entirely sure he would.

It was just as Casey had passed her glass to Paul and asked for water that Elliot moved slowly and stood to his feet, the concentration on his face as he kept his head cocked in the direction of Sam's room. Olivia furrowed her brow as he made his way from the table.

"SHHH!" Olivia commanded and effectively silenced the room, and that's when she heard it. Sam's unmistakable cry.

"DADDY!"

Elliot bolted down the hall and into his son's room unconcerned with the guests he left behind, knowing full well that Olivia would usher them out citing the late hour, but the reality was, when it was their kids in trouble, they wanted to give their undivided attention.

As Elliot opened Sam's door his heart broke seeing him naked and huddled into a corner of his room his fingers frantically rubbing over the phrases his mother had created for him. "DADDY!" he screamed again just as Elliot overheard Olivia closing the door after what Elliot assumed would have been the last guest leaving.

Elliot moved into Sam's room slowly, cautiously, not sure how the young boy would react to Elliot's touch since he was completely void of clothing, "I'm right here, Son." He said softly and was surprised when Sam ran to the sound of his voice and clung fiercely to Elliot's belt.

"Dad!" Sam cried pulling at Elliot's belt with all the strength he had, "Dad! Make it stop!"

"What?" Elliot asked rubbing Sam's back as he buried himself into Elliot's waist. Elliot wasn't entirely sure what to do. Never had Sam wanted to be near Elliot without clothes on, yet, here he was, cold, naked and completely terrified…and clinging to Elliot for dear life.

Elliot sat on the foot of the bed as Sam clutched him and refused to let him go, "Mom said…" he cried, "Mom said you would help me."

"With what, Son…you've got to tell me." Elliot whispered kissing the top of his head softly, just as Olivia appeared in the doorway. She remained silent knowing that this was an oddity, having Sam so upset and trusting Elliot with his naked body. It was an oddity in the since that something was completely wrong, and Sam had went to his father for help.

"Dad." Sam wiped his nose with the back of his hand as he stood straight and shook his head, "It makes me scared." He hiccupped bowing his head. Elliot looked down then back up quickly.

"It's normal, Son." He assured him, "It's completely normal, that your body did that again."

Olivia rested her head against the door frame slightly relieved that she hadn't been the one to hear Sam's cries. He needed his father and she was glad that Elliot got to him first.

Sam balled his fist and thrusts them hard into Elliot's chest, "I don't want to be normal!" he shouted, "I don't want to hurt anyone!" He exclaimed hitting Elliot's chest again.

"You're hurting me." Elliot whispered calmly. Fact of the matter was that Sam's innocent hands couldn't inflict any real damage to Elliot's body, but he still chose to convey to Sam that his current actions were yielding that which the young boy had so vehemently not wanted. It worked. Sam steeled instantly and cried harder into his father's chest, "Make it stop, Dad."

"I can't son." Elliot told him honestly, "But maybe you could tell me what you did today, huh?"

"I played with Crystal and Tripod." Sam whispered, "Then…Mom let me show her a little bit of chess."

"Is Mom any good?" Elliot asked softly, "Should I be worried?"

"She's good." Sam whispered, "But she gives up her knight too fast, she has to work on that."

Elliot smiled softly at Olivia who simply smiled back at them and turned to leave them to their business. If Sam asked questions Olivia felt it better that Elliot wasn't made nervous by her presence, but when Elliot motioned for her to stay, she did so.

"You think maybe she should use her pawns more?" Elliot asked trying to get Sam's body to stop shaking.

"Yeah." Sam nodded against his chest, "She doesn't understand her queen, how strong it is."

"Hmm…did you tell her?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Didn't want to hurt her feelings."

"I think she would have liked to know…that's what teaching is all about, right?"

Sam swallowed, "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Why won't it stop? I don't like it."

Elliot took a deep breath. This is not the conversation he wanted to be having at eleven O'clock at night, "You're body is changing, Sam…soon you're voice will start to change and you'll get taller-"

"I'll get taller?" Sam pulled back and asked in a bright voice, momentarily forgetting his current state.

"Yeah." Elliot laughed softly and noticed the goose bumps on Sam's skin. He pulled the blanket off of the foot of the bed and draped it around his son before drawing him into his lap. "You'll get stinky and hairy too."

"But you're not stinky and hairy." Sam whispered snuggling into his chest, finally comfortable with his father's arms around him. Olivia wiped a tear as Elliot held him close.

"I would be if your mom didn't take such good care of me." Elliot smiled watching Olivia watch them

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we take it off?" Sam asked softly.

"What?"

"My penis…can we take it off?" Sam asked innocently.

"How will you go to the restroom?" Elliot asked softly.

Sam furrowed his brow, "Maybe…maybe I could hold my pee?"

"For the rest of your life?" Elliot asked gently, "I'm sorry Son, but, that won't work."

"But I don't want it, why did God give it to me?" Sam asked.

Elliot wanted to pass out. That question could lead to a lot of other questions that he didn't want to expose Sam too. Not now. Not when he's been doing so well adjusting.

"Sam, God is a pretty smart cookie, I'm sure He knew what He was doing, besides, like I asked, how would you go pee if you didn't have one?"

Sam furrowed his brow and chewed his lip, "But…how does Mom go pee?"

_Uh oh._

"Sam…tell me…are you hurting right now?"

"I think it's normal now, but I woke up and it wasn't so normal, it was uncomfortable and I don't want to hurt Isaac, 'cause he's my brother and I love him, but I don't want to be like my 'Daddy Wilson,' I don't want to hurt anyone."

Elliot closed his eyes, kissed his son softly on his head, "You wouldn't do that…I trust you too much." Elliot whispered.

"Dad?" Sam's voice turned quiet.

"Yeah?"

"Does your body do this."

_Oh boy_.

"Yes." Elliot answered honestly, "Sometimes when I wake up in the morning my body does just what yours has done…that's how I know that you're normal."

"Does it hurt you?"

"No." Elliot whispered.

"How do you make it go away?"

_Your mother_.

"Well, um…I just…I, uh take a shower." He told him hoping he didn't ask more questions.

"Does it happen a lot?" Sam asked innocently, not realizing the embarrassment his father was in.

Elliot cleared his throat and was thankful when Olivia gave a small bow of her head, that coy smile and wink and left, "Yeah, son." Elliot finally answered, "It does, but you're okay."

"I don't want to sleep in my room anymore, Dad." Sam whispered, "I don't want to."

"Why not?" Elliot asked gently.

"I don't want to hurt Isaac."

"You won't."

"I don't want to be there anymore." He whispered, "If you want to give me back to Christoff so I don't hurt him, it's okay, Dad. I think I can understand it." Sam assured him as a tear slid down his face.

How is it that this little boy understood love better than he did? How is it that his love for a little brother he had known only a short time, his desire not to hurt him, his desire to not hurt his parents all superseded his desire for a family. His capacity for love forced him to give up his desire to be loved.

Elliot held him tighter, let out a sob against Sam's cheek, "No. No, no, no." he whispered, "I'll never give you up. I love you too much. You're my son."

"I don't want to be bad." Sam whispered through his tears, "I want to be good."

"You are so good." Elliot whispered rocking the youth in his arms, "I'll never give you to anyone, because you belong right here, with me and your Mom and your little brother and your new brother's that are coming…you won't hurt them Sam…I know you won't."

"Dad?"

"Son?"

"I don't want to sleep in my room." He told him again, "I'm scared too."

"You don't have to leave your room, we can set Isaac up in his own room." Elliot whispered.

"Do you hurt mom?" Sam asked.

"What?"

"When this happens to you? She's in your room…do you hurt her?"

Elliot rolled his eyes in exasperation and looked toward the ceiling, _Can I please, get a break here? _

"No, Sam…I could never hurt your mother." Elliot told him, no need to get into the in's and out's.

"Does she know about your body?"

"Yeah, she does."

"Is she scared of you?"

"No." Elliot whispered, "Because she knows that I would never ever hurt her…just like I know you'd never ever hurt Isaac."

Sam let the information sink into his mind and responded several minutes later, "I don't want to sleep in there…maybe just for awhile, I can sleep somewhere else?"

Elliot kissed his head softly again, "Sure, if that makes you feel better."

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Several minutes had passed and Sam had fallen asleep in his father's arms, tucked safely in a blanket. Elliot had no intention of waking him up, but had every intention of completing his request, he stood, walked with him to the living room where he was surprised to see that Olivia had already pulled out the sofa bed and let Tripod in. Elliot found himself slightly confused that she knew to do it, but he laid his son softly onto the bed and covered his blanketed body with a sheet as Tripod made his way to the sleeping form, whimpered softly as if absorbing the youngster's pain. Tripod made a small lick along Sam's cheek before finally nestling close as Sam's arm automatically pulled the pup to his body.

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Elliot stood at the threshold to the master bedroom to see Olivia rocking a sleeping Isaac in her arms. Tears streaming her face. Elliot caught the bright red dot on the nightstand, the baby monitor was on. She'd tried to give them privacy and had inadvertently heard everything. He pushed himself off of the door frame and gently took their son from her arms, laying him tenderly on the bed before pulling Olivia from the chair only to bring her back down on his lap as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"The monitor was on." She confessed, "I wasn't spying…I was gonna turn it off and I heard what he said." She told him wiping a tear away, "I hate that he hurts so bad and we can't help him."

"We are helping him, Liv." Elliot whispered, "We are. We're loving him through it, it's just gonna take time."

"Do you think he will ever accept that we'll never give him up?"

"I think so, eventually. Yes."

"He'd never hurt Isaac." She whispered shaking her head, "I know he wouldn't."

"So do I." Elliot assured her rubbing her back, "But, he's the one that needs to be convinced. We're gonna have to walk him through this."

"I just want him to know our love…the way we know his. Intense." She whispered, "Unshakeable."

"He does love us." Elliot agreed.

"I know he does." She smiled softly, "He really put you through the ringer, huh?"

Elliot laughed, "Yeah…made me sweat."

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Days passed by and normality seemed to caress the Stabler family. Although Sam continued to sleep on the sofa bed, he also continued to play with his little brother during the day, but, for some reason the room was off limits for sleeping. Olivia knew that Sam was abused in a bedroom. There was no way around it. No way to spin it. His fear of having an erection in his bedroom, of his little brother in a bed next to him shouted that fact loud and clear.

In spite of the happiness within the home, in spite of the fact that the morning after Elliot's 'talk' with Sam a note and small gift from Fin rested like magic on their porch, an olive branch, in spite of it all, nothing could have prepared them for today.

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"You did really good in there today, Baby." Olivia whispered to Sam as they left George's office.

"I don't like him."

"You keep saying that." She smiled letting him hold onto the stroller as they walked, "Do you want to go see Dad, before we go home?"

"Is he at work?"

"Yeah, but it's his lunch. Want to?"

"No." Sam whispered, "I want to take a nap."

"Okay." Olivia exhaled and opened the car door for him, "Hop in."

"Mom?" Sam asked as she slid into the driver's seat giving a second glance to Isaac who was already fighting sleep.

"Yeah, Baby?"

"Can you hate yourself?"

She furrowed her brow and watched him closely, he'd withdrawn from them since that night he came to Elliot. He played and had fun with Crystal when she came over, but with her and Elliot he put up a wall. "I suppose you could." She whispered reaching over and touching his hair that they still hadn't managed to get around to cutting, "But, it would be silly considering we love you so much."

"I don't love me." He whispered, "And I hate George."

"I don't think you hate him."

"I hate him." He whispered keeping his head turned away from her, "I hate me."

Olivia chewed her lip. Hate was such a strong word and this was the first time he'd said it in reference to himself, "What's going on up here?" she asked stroking his head softly before leaning over to kiss him.

"Mom, if someone prayed to God to die…will they die?"

She felt her heart sink. Felt her mouth go dry, her blood surge in panic, "Baby, what are you telling me? Did you pray that?"

He remained silent but shook his head in agreement, "He won't answer it though. He always answers." Sam shook his head, "But this time….this time He's quiet."

"Because He wants you here with us, Honey…that's why He wont' answer that prayer…and I'm glad for that." She assured him trying to hold back her tears, she pulled him close, "I love you so much little man…when will you know it? When will you know that you're not a bad boy?"

"I don't know, Mom."

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She'd laid Sam down in her bed, Isaac in his own, before grabbing a bottle of water and starting on paperwork in the office. Time passed slowly as Olivia struggled to keep her mind on her paperwork, struggled to keep herself focused when she wanted to snuggle up next to Sam and hold him and tell him everything would be okay. She wanted to hold Isaac, she wanted to hold her son's and tell them that everything would be fine that they were a family and she'd do anything for them.

She'd heard a small rustle from the house and suspected Sam had finally woken up and would more than likely turn the television on to listen to something. It was when she'd heard a whimper, only minutes later that she realized the television wasn't on. The necessity to check on her son's griped her.

She crossed the hall to the master bedroom and furrowed her brow, not at the empty bed, but at Sam's clothes bunched on the floor. She peeked into the bathroom, it too was empty, but when another whimper rang through the house, she darted down the hall, "Sam!" She called and suddenly stopped in her tracks, pure horror choking her heart as she saw her son, naked and bleeding in the kitchen, struggling not to scream out.

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Elliot had just closed a file and grabbed another one to start when his desk phone rang, "Detective Stabler, SVU." He answered and felt his heart sink at the panic in Olivia's voice.

"Why didn't you answer your cell?" She shrieked.

He stopped working on the file and locked eyes with Captain Cragen as he talked to Mac and Fin, "What's wrong Liv? …Slow down …I'm coming right now." Elliot hung up the phone unconcerned that the receiver had bounced off the cradle. He felt the blood drain form his face.

"What happened?" Cragen asked immediately.

"I have to go." Elliot managed to choke out and he frantically gathered his things.

"What's wrong?" Cragen asked again turning Elliot to face him, "Is it the twins?"

"No." Elliot whispered, "Its Sam…he's in the hospital."


	30. Chapter 30 Confessions

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 30 Confession

There had been so much blood. It took her mind a second to register what he'd done. He was eerily quiet even as he raised the knife one more time and took an uncalculated swipe to his groin. She'd run to him so quickly that she didn't remember knocking the vase off of the table by the couch, but, when the paramedics rolled the gurney over the pieces, Olivia knew she must have.

She was kneeling in front of him before her body had stopped running; as a result she skidded on blood coated linoleum bruising both knees. "Sam!" She'd yelled so forcefully as she grabbed his arm that he'd taken a swing at her with the pairing knife, slicing through her blouse and flesh. It stung and it burned and it reminded her of things she didn't want to remember, but when she cried out Sam dropped the knife immediately and crumbled to the floor.

He was so pale as she reached for the cordless from the counter and dialed 911 placing the phone on speaker and frantically opening a kitchen drawer and retrieving dish towels to which she quickly covered the area she was certain he was bleeding from. The operator took the necessary information as Olivia searched his small, battered body for more wounds.

The blood was relentless and he was so small she didn't think she'd get it stopped in time. She knew it was gonna hurt him, but she had no choice, she pressed down hard on the wound, and as if being shocked back to life Sam arched his back and screamed with such a piercing shriek she thought the vibration in the air might shatter her heart.

"Mommy!" He'd cried out in sheer agony, clutching to her as if she were his life line and as she looked at the blood seeping through her fingers she let out a sob of fear knowing she _was_ his life line. Her son's life depended on the decisions she made right now, and she couldn't get him calm. She couldn't make the blood stop flowing out of his body.

"It's okay." She told him soothingly through her own emotions as she gently pushed him back to lay flat on the floor, "Tell me what happened, Baby."

"Please!" he had begged her pulling at the towels to get them away from him, "Please, Mommy! I don't like it!"

She held her hand firmly over the towel, crouching and draping her body over him, letting her body touch his as she cupped the back of his head and held him, "It's gonna be okay, Samuel." She had whispered into his ear, "It's gonna be okay, Mommy's right here with you, Baby."

She had felt his body cringe as he sobbed into her neck, "Hurts me." He'd choked out against her.

"Hear that baby?" She had whispered, keeping her body draped over him and reaching for another towel to cover the already drenched one, "Hear the sirens? They're gonna come help you right now, Honey."

"Let me go away." He sobbed into chest, "Like the boggieman. Let me go away. So I don't hurt anyone." He had cried again and started to fight with the towel, tried to pull it off but his body had grown so weak from the blood loss. He'd sniffled against her neck and let out a long sigh before going limp in her arms.

The wound across her chest had made itself known and as she sat up to appraise his level of shock she wasn't sure whose blood was whose. "Sam!" she'd yelled frantically grabbing his cheeks with one hand and trying to shake him into wakefulness, "Wake up!" she commanded him, "Now, Sam!" she'd cried against his neck, "Please, Baby." She whispered, "Please, don't leave me, Handsome."

She had heard the squeal of the ambulance and, what seemed like hours later, that blessed knock at the door.

"It's open!" She'd yelled into the atmosphere before lowering her lips to Sam's ear and whispering the softest of words as the paramedics rushed in to save her son.

She'd finally found the presence of mind to call Elliot from the hospital, She was frantic when he didn't answer his cell phone, so much in fact that she'd yelled at him when she finally got a hold of him and just as if on cue, as soon as she pictured her husband he appeared.

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"LIV!" Elliot called to her as he raced breathlessly down the hall. He was exiting the stairwell. No surprise. He probably attempted the elevator and gave up out of impatience.

"El." She shook her head side to side and struggled to stand on bruised and aching knees. She let him envelope her in his embrace, his lips quick and hard against her temple as she cried against him, "There was so much blood." She whispered.

"Liv…how is he?"

"They're still…working on him." She whispered wiping away the moisture as it fell from her eyes, "He was in shock, unconscious by the time the paramedics got to him…he…they bagged him in the ambulance…he hasn't woken up since." She cried harder into his chest as he held her tight and balled her hair into his fist.

"Isaac?" he whispered softly, "Where is he?"

"I called Paul…his office is so close to the hospital…he came immediately, he called Casey." She whispered and swallowed hard as she shook her head, "El…El, we can't loose him…we can't."

"We won't." he whispered into her ear as his tears absorbed into her hair.

"The blood was everywhere." She whispered into his neck, "I should have been paying attention and not doing those damn reports!"

"Don't." he told her softly as he continued to hold her, "Don't do that, Liv…this isn't you're fault." He told her softly, "It isn't Liv. It isn't." he soothed her and was startled by a female doctor.

"Excuse me?" Her soft voice washed over them in soothing waves, "Are you Mr. and Mrs. Stabler?"

"Yes." Elliot choked out as Olivia straightened herself and wiped her face.

"I'm Dr. Catarata, pediatrics specialist…I performed your son's surgery…why don't we go into that room right there?" she said pointing to a private room a few feet away.

Olivia looked wide-eyed at Elliot. Doctors take you into a private room to tell you that your family member is dead. They take you there so you don't have a melt down in front of others. Elliot ushered his wife as the Doctor, in turn, ushered them both into the room before closing the door, "Please, take a seat."

"Please." Olivia strained, "How is he?"

"He's," The doctor sighed, "Gonna be in a lot of discomfort."

Olivia sobbed in relief, "He's alive then?"

"Yes…we had to transfuse a massive amount of blood, we weren't sure it was gonna take…sometimes, when we replace too much, things can get complicated." She assured them, "Can you tell me what happened?" she asked pulling a sheet of paper from her desk to take notes.

Olivia grew enraged seeing the form for CPS, "You think I would hurt my son?" she growled.

"Mrs. Sta-"

"I did not hurt my son!" Olivia barked standing to her feet and clutching her belly, groaning at the pain before forcing herself to sit down.

"Mrs. Stabler," The doctor began again, "I know you didn't hurt him…the wounds are self inflicted…combine that with your chest wound that is obviously defensive, I know you didn't hurt him." She told her softly.

Elliot stared wide eyed at Olivia and as if the wound had just appeared. He swallowed hard seeing her blood stained shirt, "Liv?" he whispered touching her chest softly where her shirt revealed the gauze.

"It's okay." She whispered back, "Stitches, probably a scar, but nothing serious."

"This form," The doctor said holding it up, "Is just formality, don't let it scare you…please, can you tell me what happened?"

Olivia swallowed and licked her lips, "I laid him down in my bed for a nap and went to the house office to do some work." She stared at the carpet as Elliot held her hand, "I heard a sound and I got up to check on him…he wasn't in the room and his clothes were on the floor…I found him in the kitchen with the pairing knife, he'd already cut himself and there was so much blood on his body. He cut again before I could get to him." She sobbed again before taking a deep breath and shaking her head, "I startled him, that's the only reason he took a swipe at me." She informed the doctor, "He wouldn't hurt me deliberately."

"I know." The doctor assured her.

Elliot cleared his throat, "Doc…what exactly are my son's injuries?"

The doctor took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair, "Well, he's got three gashes to his groin area." She started to explain as Elliot covered his face with his hands.

"I should have paid attention." He groaned into his hands, "He asked if we could take it off." He shook his head, "I never in a million years thought he would do something like that."

"Well," The doctor exhaled, "Without this sounding crude, it probably looked worse than it was. Because he was erect, the blood flow was tremendous, but two of the gashes are located several inches above his penis."

"He'll be okay?" Olivia whispered in hope.

"Well, one gash did make contact with his shaft, gave him a pretty good laceration…we've done the repair work, he should be fine. He'll be sore and we're going to keep him here for observation since the transfer of blood was so large…there is something else." The doctor hesitated.

"What?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "Tell us!"

"It's nothing major, but…since Sam wasn't circumcised, we had to do it to reduce possibility of infection and allow us to repair the blood vessels that were severed."

Elliot almost sighed in relief, "I think that's fine." He whispered reaching for Olivia's hand.

Olivia shook her head, "Yeah, that's fine. He's probably better off in the future."

"Hey, Doc?" Elliot leaned forward in nervousness, "Um, how about when he…uh…when he gets older and he…uh-"

Olivia rolled her eyes, "He's asking if Sam will be capable of having sex when he's older…if the lascerations did anything permanent."

"He'll be perfectly normal." The doctor smiled.

Elliot exhaled and smiled sheepishly, "Good, I'm glad to hear that…I was worried, but…I'm glad."

"Good." The doctor smiled softly, "I'm glad we got that settled" she told them picking up her pen again and exhaling, "Do you know what brought this on?"

"He's been dealing with so much." Olivia whispered, "We've just got our son back, we have twins on the way….he's tried so hard to adapt and go with the flow…he's been hurting. Sam's adopted…his previous family was shady at best." She absently rubbed Elliot's knuckled with her thumb hoping he would continue.

He cleared his throat, "He'd been having erections in his sleep…through him for a loop."

"Have you talked to him about puberty yet?" The doctor asked.

"Yeah," Elliot responded, "We had a little conversation, but…it's deeper with him."

"How so?"

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck, "He was sexually abused by his previous family…he's confused; thinks that he will hurt someone because that's what his dad did to him."

The doctor exhaled and shook her head softly absorbing the tragedy that fell from Elliot's lips, "Does he show aggression towards others? Pets?"

"No." Elliot and Olivia responded in unison.

"He's ruthless to himself though." Olivia told her shifting in her seat, "We've put him in counseling, but…he's terrified of the doctor."

"Why?"

"Anything and everything, from the way he clicks his pen to his cologne." She shook her head, "The doctor is a very good friend of ours, we thought that would assure him a little but he adamantly dislikes him."

"Is it normal for Sam to do that?" The doctor asked, taking notes.

"No." Olivia raised her brows staring at the edge of the desk, "Normally, if we warn him that there will be a male present, or if we assure him that we know the male, he can handle in, in fact two of our good friends come over frequently and Sam enjoys staying at one of their houses."

"Have you asked Sam why he dislikes his doctor?"

"Yes." Olivia assured her, "And he told me that the questions make his heart hurt."

The doctor stared down at her notes briefly as if mulling over possibilities in her mind, "I'm going to refer Sam to a psychiatrist we have here in the emergency room, well see if he takes to her a little more freely…if you'd like that. I'm sure your insurance covers it."

"Anything." Elliot responded.

"Good." The doctor smiled again, "She's young and female, obviously. We'll just feel it out, huh?"

"Thank you." Olivia smiled softly and stood, "When can we take him home?"

"Hard to say, depends on him really. But, we do want to make sure that there's no infection. He's gonna need help urinating and he's gonna be better off not wearing tight pants or shorts, if he wears briefs, I suggest boxers for now."

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Elliot and Olivia looked down at their son as an oxygen tube rested below his nostrils and an I.V. inserted into his arm with what Olivia suspected was antibiotics dripping steadily into him. They had bagged him in the ambulance because he wasn't breathing, but here he was breathing on his own and she was happy about that. She didn't think she would have been able to handle seeing a machine breath for her little one.

His small chest was bare save a Ghostbusters sheet that stopped just under his arms. She saw the form of his body, legs separated by pillows to allow his body to heal. He was precious and beautiful and tragic all at once and it nearly killed her seeing him in a hospital bed. In this moment Olivia wanted Isaac. She wanted both of her sons. She wanted to hold them both and tell them that she would never take her eyes off of them again. That she would pay more attention. That she was sorry.

"His hair is so long." Elliot whispered pushing strands back as the small boy slept in a drug induced slumber.

"I keep…forgetting to cut it." Olivia whispered shaking her head, "I keep forgetting. He asks and I…I forget."

"Liv." Elliot smiled compassionately and pulled her into his chest, "This isn't your fault. You're such a good, Mom. His hair is fine. I was just noticing it is all."

"Do you think I'm horrible?" She whispered against his chest.

"No." He told her sternly, "No I don't, I think that Sam took us both by surprise. He's been happy until now, Liv. Don't forget that, okay?"

She pulled back slightly and kissed the corner of his mouth before resting her forehead against his, "Thank you…you're so good to me…to Isaac and Sam. I'm not sure where I'd be without you El."

He kissed her temple softly, "I'm not sure I want to think of you not being with me." He smiled into her hair and was about to tell her he loved her when there was a knock at the door and it slowly opened revealing Alex.

"Hey." She whispered softly, "Can I come in?"

"Yes." Olivia wiped the moisture from her eyes, "Please."

Alex hugged Olivia tightly and offered the same to Elliot, "I brought what you asked for Elliot, but I'm not sure about the whole Tripod thing you had me do, I don't understand it."

"Did you do it?"

"Yeah." She shrugged, "You asked…I did."

"Thank you." He smiled softly and picked up the duffel.

"Alex?" Olivia looked at her in question, "What's all that?"

Alex wrapped her hand around Olivia's waist and stared down at Sam, "Elliot asked me to gather some stuff up for Sam, he asked me to make sure Tripod was rubbed down with Sam's blanket."

Olivia furrowed her brow and then smiled realizing what Elliot had done for their son. "Thank you, Alex."

"No problem." She whispered and bent low to kiss Sam on his forehead before returning to look at the two of them, "You let me know how that little guy is doing as soon as he opens his eyes."

"You can stay." Elliot whispered, "Maybe he'll wake up."

"No." Alex smiled softly, "He needs his Mom and Dad right now, not his aunt."

"I'll call later." Olivia responded softly as Alex left the room.

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"Liv." Elliot whispered, "It's the middle of the night and you still haven't eaten." Elliot informed her holding out a bag of Doritos, "Fresh from the vending machine." He smiled softly then frowned when she shook her head 'no'.

"Liv-"

"I'm just not hungry." She told him softly as she traced the back of Sam's hand tenderly with her finger.

"Liv…you've got two other babies…eat something please." He whispered sitting next to her and kissing the crown of her head, "It's not your fault, Honey."

She exhaled and tucked her face in the crook of his neck as she continued to hold Sam's hand, "What are we going to do?" she whispered.

"You're going to eat these Doritos." He told her again and stepped back slightly to open the bag and hand them to her.

She sighed and took a chip crunching it loudly in her mouth, a slight blush forming, a small smile, "Thank you." She muttered placing her free hand over her mouth as she chewed, "I am hungry…I was just-"

"What?" he asked softly seeing something different about her that he couldn't place.

"I was being stubborn." She confessed.

He kissed her forehead and smiled, "You're changing so much Liv, you really are."

"Thank you." She whispered again and then looked sharply over to Sam.

"What?" Elliot asked.

"Look." She whispered motioning to her hand, "He's squeezing my hand."

Elliot grinned, seeing the little hand wrap tightly around Olivia's, "He knows we're here." Elliot assured her, "He knows his Mom is touching him."

Olivia closed her eyes in a silent 'Thank you God.' As Sam groaned softly and murmured, his head turning left to right. The look of pain clearly inscribed over his face. "Sleep, Baby." She whispered running her hand through his hair. "It's okay, you don't have to wake up." She whispered hoping he would go back to sleep so he didn't feel as much as he would if he were awake.

"Mommy?" His young voice was rough with physical pain, emotional torment.

"Hey, Sweet Boy." She cried softly against his temple, "Your Daddy is here with me."

Sam smiled groggily and yawned, "Hurt." He whispered.

"I know you do, Son." Elliot whispered perching himself on the side of Sam's bed. "But, you're Mom and I are right here for you."

Sam took in a ragged breath and felt about his face, deciding that the oxygen tube wasn't all that interesting. He moved his hand down his arm and froze.

"Sam?" Olivia noticed his reaction immediately as his fingers came in contact with the I.V. with the wires that he associated with death, "It's okay, Sam…they won't hurt you."

"No." He shook his head frantically, suddenly wide awake, "NO!" he screeched pulling at the I.V.

"Sam. Stop!" Elliot warned trying to grab at his sons wrists to stop him from pulling it out, but the youngster proved too fast and soon that I.V. was pulled out of his arm as he screamed, "NO!" he shook his head and pulled the oxygen tube off of his face, sitting up and shrieking at the pain that shot through his body. He fell back to his pillows and moaned in agony, "Mommy." He called weakly, "It hurts."

She licked the tears from her lips, "I know, Baby, but you've got to stay here just for a few days and we'll be r-"

"NO!" He cried again in misery, "NO! I don't like here!"

"Sam." Olivia tried to reassure him, "It's okay, we'll be here in the room with you." She informed him.

"NO! NO MOMMY!" He yelled with all of the force he hand and tried to sit up again as Elliot tried to push him back to the bed.

"Nurse!" Olivia yelled from the door as Elliot continued to struggle with him.

In a moment a nurse and what Olivia guessed was an orderly were at Sam's bedside, "Get the tie downs." The nurse called trying to get Sam's focus, "And another I.V." she called to the orderly as he left the room, "Calm down Little Guy." She tried to sooth him but immediately let go when Sam bent his head and bit her hand.

"Don't touch me!" he yelled out. "Mommy!" he called into the atmosphere as the orderly returned.

"Hold his arm." The nurse instructed.

"NO!" Sam shrieked, "No! Help me Mommy! Daddy!"

Olivia turned away, running her hands through her hair as her son's screams and pleas continued to play out behind her.

"Go easy on him!" Elliot barked suddenly when he felt the orderly had cinched the tie down to tight, "He's just a kid!"

"I'm sorry." The orderly replied and readjusted the strap.

Deciding since he couldn't move his hands in protest, Sam started to kick. Despite the pain it was causing him, he kicked and he kicked high and forcefully making contact with the orderly, "Get his feet!" The nurse called as they continued to strap little legs to the bed. By the time they were done, the nurse and orderly were exhausted, Sam was out of breath and still crying, but now even more intensely.

"Hurts!" he cried, "Hurts me."

Olivia turned around to see her son, strapped to his hospital bed. The male orderly standing at his feet, "I'm just gonna raise the sheet and take a peek at your stitches-"

Olivia saw the look of fear shoot over her son's face "No!" Olivia interrupted as Sam started to cry, "Do. Not. Lift that sheet…in fact, get out! Now!" She instructed moving back to Sam and running her fingers through his hair as the orderly, who Olivia now understood to be a nurse according to his tag, left. "It's okay, Honey, he's gone." She whispered over him, "He's gone, there's no men here except your Daddy…I promise." She told him, kissing him softly on the cheek, "No men are here, he's not gonna raise your sheet."

Sam shuddered, and struggled momentarily with his wrists in the tie downs, "Hurts."

"Your hands or your body?" Olivia asked as the female nurse still looked on.

"Both…everything, Mom. My heart too."

Olivia pressed her lips together and shook her head softly, "Mine does too baby."

"Miss?" The nurse interrupted softly, "I hate to do this, but…we've got to get this I.V in so he has pain meds and antibiotics."

Olivia closed her eyes in dread as Elliot sat on the bed again and kissed his son's forehead, "Baby," Olivia rubbed his naked chest softly, "The nurse has to do some work on you."

"No, Mommy….please?" he whispered and hiccupped.

"I'm sorry, Baby….it's gonna make you better, though, I promise." She assured him and stepped back to allow the nurse to insert the I.V. She buried her head in Elliot's chest as Sam writhed and screamed in pain and fear, begging for his parents help as they stood still.

"Why Mommy?" He cried, "Save me, Mommy…why won't you save me?"

She cried harder into Elliot's chest, her love for her children had left her in ruins. No parent wants to hear their child in such agony.

"I have to look at his sutures." The nurse said immediately after inserting the I.V. and making sure his medicine was flowing again. Sam whimpered and shuddered.

"Can't you give him a few minutes?" Olivia whispered.

"I'm sorry." The nurse replied, "But if the sutures were ripped out…they need to be dealt with as soon as possible or there can be problems. I just need to take a quick look."

"Wait." Elliot shook his head, "Let his mother do it….at least….at least give him that?"

The nurse smiled softly, "Sure…take a look, I just need to know if all of the sutures are intact and there nothing odd around the wounds. Can you do that?" She asked looking at Olivia who shook her head in agreement.

"Samuel?" Olivia whispered next to him, "Is it okay if I look at your owies? I want to make sure that they are doing okay, can I?"

Sam shook his head softly, giving her his permission. She raised the sheet and cringed looking at his body. He was swollen, bruised and the gashed seemed huge on his little body. She lowered the sheet and turned to the nurse, "He's fine. Nothing ripped."

"Good." The nurse smiled softly, "Can I get you two anything?"

"No tha-"

"Yes." Elliot interrupted, "My wife is hungry, can you…if there's anything you can give her…that would help us."

"No problem." The nurse smiled glancing at Olivia's bulging belly.

"Excuse me?" Olivia called as the nurse turned away, "When can he have the straps removed?"

The nurse exhaled, "When we're certain he's not gonna act out again…it's for his own good. I'm sorry." She bowed her head and left the room.

"Honey?" Olivia sat next to him again and kissed his shoulder, "Are you okay?"

"Hurts me." He whispered.

"I know…baby, can you tell me, why you hurt yourself?"

Sam chewed on his bottom lip, "My hair mom, it's too long. Will you cut it?"

"Samuel," She sobbed softly, "Please don't change the subject, Baby…I need you to answer me."

"No." He whispered and turned his head to the last spot he'd heard Elliot's voice, "Dad? Will you cut my hair? It's too long. I don't want to be like Fin." He whispered.

Elliot took in a deep breath as his tears threatened to spill over, "Sam…why did you do this, Son?"

"Mad?" Sam asked softly.

Elliot shook his head frantically, "No, Son. No, I'm not mad or upset or angry with you...but…my heart is broken, Son." He whispered touching his face, "You doing this to yourself…has broken my heart, Sam."

Olivia closed her eyes at her husband's confession. The guilt washing over her and spilling into the crevices of her soul. She hadn't been paying enough attention to her son. She'd allowed herself to get focused on her paperwork on her job. That damn job. Her lack of attention almost cost her son his life. Cost her husband his heart.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Don't be." Elliot whispered, "Your Mom and I love you so much…we're gonna carry you through this. Do you understand me Sam? I promise you…you don't have to walk through this alone…but you've got to open this up to us." He whispered tapping on Sam's chest where his heart was beating back to it's normal rhythm.

"I'm scared." Sam whispered turning his face back to his mother's voice, "Mom? Do you hear me? I'm really scared, Mommy."

She caressed his face with both hands, a gentle kiss on his lips, his cheek and forehead, "You're fearless, Baby." She whispered across his ear, "Your amazing and strong and Beautiful, and I love you so much."

He moved in his binds as if he wanted to hug her. He groaned in frustration and pulled at the ties, "Mom?" he moaned again.

"Sam." Elliot pulled his blanket out of the duffel bag and sat back on the bed, "I brought something for you, Son."

That small smile. Sam delivered it well and Olivia's heart soared seeing it. "What?" Sam whispered.

"Your blanket."

"Cold." Sam shook his head indicating that he was.

"Well," Olivia smiled taking Elliot's cue, "If you promise me that you can be a big boy and not try to pull your wires out…we'll get you out of these ties and wrap you up in your own blanket, and from what I hear…it's been rubbed all over tripod." She laughed softly at his smile, "Can I have your word?"

"I promise." Sam whispered and Elliot and Olivia quickly released him giving him his blanket to which he immediately held it to his face and took in the scent, "Tripod." He whispered and surprised them both when he balled it up and held it against his side instead of putting it over his body.

"Sleep, Sweet Boy." Olivia whispered, "Things will be better in the morning."

"Mommy?" Sam whispered holding out his hand for hers.

"Yeah, Handsome?"

"I'm sorry I hurt you and Daddy's hearts."

Olivia kissed him softly on his cheeked and rubbed gently over it, "They'll heal, Baby and so will you…Rest."

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"He's so amazing." Olivia whispered running her hand over Isaac's cheek as she lay in bed with her husband and her son tucked safely between them as he slept.

"Like his mother." Elliot whispered.

"Na…definitely his father. He's all you…look at that face."

"I am looking." Elliot chuckled, "And all I have to say, is thank God that's your nose and not mine."

Olivia laughed softly as the morning light flooded into the room. The night had been excruciatingly long. The nurses were kind enough to let them stay with Sam until the pain killers kicked in and took him into the caresses of sleep. Casey was kind enough to let them crash in their spare bedroom knowing full well they would be exhausted and her and Paul's home was much closer to the hospital than theirs.

"This is a comfortable bed, huh?" Olivia whispered laying her head back on the pillow and sighing as she looked over to Elliot who was propped on his elbow.

He caressed her face, "It is." He whispered seeing the worry and burden in her face, "I love you."

She smiled softly and closed her eyes, kissing his palm, "I love you too…so much."

He exhaled, "I did something this morning that you may not agree with, then I did something you may be angry about." He whispered lacing his fingers with hers as he gathered his thoughts. She wondered if the knot that just formed in her stomach is the same knot he had when she delivered that line to him.

"That which I may not agree with?" She asked squeezing his hand softly as she looked at him.

Elliot swallowed, "I told the nurses we won't be in until later this morning…around ten, but still in time for Sam's appointment with the head shrinker."

She furrowed her brows, "Why? You know that I want to see him, we promised him we'd see him." She whispered.

"Liv." He exhaled tracing her swollen abdomen with his fingertips, "I got up earlier and I made you and I an appointment."

She frowned and sat herself up on her elbows, "Excuse me? For what? With whom?"

"I made us an appointment…with…a shrink." He whispered seeing the confusion in her face.

"Why?"

"Because you've managed to schedule twenty-three appointments and we dodge them each and every time." He said softly, "I never thought I'd actually be asking you to do this, but, Liv…we need to see someone." He whispered, "I made an appointment with a marriage coun-"

She shot up in the bed and positioned herself to look at him, almost falling off the side before she caught herself, "A marriage councilor!" she repeated in shock, "What for Elliot?" she shook her head in pure fear and confusion, "I thought we were doing good…is there some- are you…are you wanting to leave? An affair? Am I not satisfying you as a wife? A lover? What is-"

He smiled softly and covered her lips with his hand careful of his son's sleeping body, "Shh." He whispered cupping the back of her head and kissing her tenderly, "We are doing so good." He assured her and sipped softly from her bottom lip. a tinge of guilt resting low in his belly as she shook in nervousness, "I'll never want to leave you or my son's." he whispered against her mouth and rested his thumb lightly on her chin opening her mouth to his tongue as he stroked her gently and pulled back, "I'd kill myself before I had an affair." He told her sincerely and was surprised to hear a sob of relief fall from her lips, "And you satisfy me more than I deserve, as wife, mother and definitely as a lover." He told her kissing her again and separating as he caressed her face.

"Look at me." He commanded gently when her eyes remained closed. She opened them slowly and stared delicately at him, "Liv…you and I are strong but we've got to face the facts, Honey. Between our job and our personal lives…we've taken a beating the last three years. We owe it to our children to be strong and sound."

She licked her lips, "But why a marriage councilor EL? Why not a standard shrink?"

Elliot smiled softly, "Because a marriage councilor is gonna help up with so much, Liv. They can get into all of the spectrums…kids-"

"I love our kids, El." She interrupted, "I've never regretted them."

"I know." He whispered and continued, "They can get us straight on finances and making love and-"

She shook her head softly, "I manage our money well, we have money in the bank and the stocks rose just yesterday morning and…I don't understand…I thought….you said I satisfied you as a lover…why do you want to go to a marriage councilor if I satisfy you?"

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her in compassion and gently picked his son up positioning him on the other side of him against a pillow so he could take her into his arms. When she didn't come willingly he simply pulled her over, "You're misunderstanding me." He whispered wrapping his arms around her, "I love you so much. Our marriage is great, but I want it to be fantastic. I don't have anything against you Liv…I'm completely happy with you, but we've been through the ringer, Baby and, I don't know about you…" he whispered dropping his voice as it broke. "But, I'm hurting so much."

She was blown away by the admission. She turned in his arms and rested her hand on his cheek, "Why?" she whispered, "Tell me…let me make it go away."

He shook his head softly and pulled her closer to him hoping she couldn't see his glassy eyes. Knowing she could. "I don't know how to tell you Liv." He whispered in shame.

She furrowed her brows, "Tell me what, El?"

"I can't make the rage go away." He whispered, "I can't do it." He shook his head, "And the nightmares and the-"

"Your still having nightmares?" she asked gently, "About what?"

"Killing Ganzner. Killing perps. Just…killing." He whispered, "I'm so angry and I'm so jealous and I'm so frustrated and when I saw Sam in that bed…" he swallowed his emotion and rested his forehead against hers, "I don't want to spend my life like that. I want to spend every moment loving you and my boys. I don't know how to let the rage go."

She kissed his lips gently and looked at him only inches from her face, "I haven't said anything…but I've noticed, I have…don't think I haven't noticed the silent rage." She whispered careful not to condemn, "I thought it would go away after we got Isaac back…but…it seems like it's getting worse, you don't really talk to our friends like you use too, you didn't want to fight for Fin. I saw it and I hoped you'd come to me."

"I'm here." He whispered, "Please do this with me, Liv. If not for you or us; then for me?"

She rested her hand on his cheek and caressed his lips with her thumb. She smiled gently, "I think we have a great marriage….but I want it to be fantastic too." She whispered and kissed him again, "I'm sorry I over reacted, I…you said marriage councilor and I didn't know what to think."

"I'm sorry." He smiled softly, "Please come with me?"

Her lips curled into a smile again, "I think it will be good for us, maybe good for me too."

"How so?" he asked intrigued at her sudden shift.

She swallowed and stared at the sheet, "When Sam…when that knife sliced me…for a split second…I was back in my apartment, on my bed… being raped." She whispered and furrowed her brows, "I don't like that that part of my life keeps creeping up when I least expect it, I don't want it in our lives, in our family…in our bed, mayb-"

"Liv…what do you mean by 'in our bed'?" he asked gently as he placed his hand on her hips.

She exhaled, "El…I want to make love to you like you want to be made love too." She whispered, "And I can't and it sits in the back of my mind and it makes me feel…like less of a woman." She confessed.

He arched his brows; this confession was coming from the mere mention of going to a councilor. What would actually happen when they went? "What do you mean? I love the way you make love to me." He smiled softly, "You're amazing."

"El," She locked eyes with him, "Come on, you're a guy, I know that there are times when you want to throw caution to the wind and just…I'm not trying to sound crude but, I can feel your hesitation sometimes and I know your restraining yourself from diving into me and making fast primal love to me because you know I won't be able to handle it."

"I nev-"

"I don't know if I could handle it Elliot." She whispered, "And I thank God every day that he gave me someone who has been as patient as you have." She rested her hand on his chest, "I don't know of too many men that would put their desires to the side for so long…I need you to know that I see what your doing…I'm just trying to catch up and I feel like a wounded soldier that is crawling on her belly…but…I am trying to catch up." She confessed.

"I didn't know you felt that way." He whispered over her lips kissing them delicately, "See Liv…just talking about going to counseling opened us up a little more…it'll be okay…come with me?"

She kissed him gently, almost wondering if their lips had made contact before pulling her lips away just the same, "Ok."

Elliot grinned and pulled her closer, "Thank you." He told her nuzzling his nose against her's and pulling back gently.

"What?" she asked propping her head up on her palm, "What is it? You look like you want to say something."

"Liv…we've had quickies before…they're fast."

"Elliot." She caressed his face with her hand, "You don't have to protect me from this, let me admit it…I need to. I know that this is a hang up for me. I just don't know how to fix it." She exhaled softly, "And even…even then, with the quickies, your gentle with me-"

"Do you want me to be rough?" He asked in confusion.

She stared at the sheets between them, "I don't know." She said shaking her head, "I know that it's not right for you to always be the one sacrificing."

"It's not a sacrifice, Liv."

"Stop." She whispered covering his lips with her fingertips, "I…there are some days that I…it's like I want you to possess me, make me normal, you know?"

"Normal?"

She shrugs her shoulders, "You know…capable of soft love making but also…primal too, and right now, that's not the case and I'm so sorry."

"No need to be." He smiled softly, "I love you just the way you are…normal or not." He says with a laugh and tickles her.

She laughs out loud and buries her face in the crook of his neck, "I love you."

"I love you." He whispered stroking her back tenderly, "Liv?"

"Yeah?" she mutters against his chest.

"Since when do we own stock?"

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"You sure you want to do this?" Elliot asked as they stood in front of suit 103.

"What?" she smirked, "Talk to a complete stranger about making love to my husband…our finances, kids, marriage….oh yeah," she joked, "I'm all for it…you?"

"Scared." Elliot confessed and rubbed his neck, "Look, Liv, I'm sorry. Maybe this…maybe this was a bad idea." he muttered trying to walk away.

"Oh, no." She chuckled grabbing his elbow and pulling him back to her, "This was your idea Mister." She reminded him with a smile.

He shook his head, "Next time I have a bright idea?"

"Yeah?" she cocked her head.

"Lock me up." He smiled down at her, "You think it's weird that we're standing in front of a councilors office with our arms wrapped around one another?"

She grinned, "I could wrap my legs around you."

"Liv!" He laughs and blushes at once, "You're bad."

She takes his hand and leads him into the office, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

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"So…what brings you two into counseling?" An older woman with fat black rimmed glasses perched on her nose asks while leaning back in her chair.

Olivia and Elliot stare nervously at the doctor before looking back at one another and stumbling in nervousness.

"He, uh…" Olivia makes the first attempt and fails.

"Well," Elliot shifts in his seat, "She, um…well, she-"

"Me?" Olivia asks with a look that reminds him it's his idea to see a marriage councilor. Neither one of them see the smile playing on the councilors lips, "You made the appointment." She says with a smile and raised brows.

"No." Elliot shakes his head, looking back at the doctor, "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?" The doctor asks observing their interaction. They clearly care for one another, their body language screams it. They are playful in their banter and nervous as all get out.

"I just meant that…well." Elliot rubbed the back of his neck looking to Olivia.

"We want a strong marriage." Olivia whispered to Elliot.

"Yeah!" Elliot told the doctor, "Exactly…that's what we talked about this morning…we want to have a fantastic marriage."

The doctor is clearly amused at the two in front of her ,"Why do you think you don't already have a strong or fantastic marriage?" she asks still amused that these two have been so preoccupied by nervousness that even after she introduced herself, they still hadn't.

"Well," Elliot stops and suddenly exhales and shakes his head standing up, "I'm sorry, Liv. I can't do this."

"Woah." She stands immediately and grabs his elbow with one hand, caresses his face with the other, "hey," she smiles softly and kisses his lips gently, "we're in this together, me and you." She reminds him, "It'll be good for us…we'll just take one thing at a time, huh?"

He rests his forehead against hers, his hands on her hips, "Okay."

The councilor sits back in her chair watching the interaction between the two. They are clearly two people that are fighters for one another. As they take their seats again the councilor decides they are intriguing at the least. "Shall we start over?" she smiles, "I'm Vivian Morris. Call me Viv"

"Elliot." He smiles and points to his wife, "and this is my wife, Olivia."

"Nice to meet you." The councilor smiles, "Let's get to work, shall we?"

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"I can't believe Viv gave us homework." Elliot groaned stepping off of the elevator on the pediatrics floor.

"I can't believe Paul took the day off to watch Isaac for us." She smiled lacing her hand with Elliot's, "Think he still feels bad?"

"Yeah." Elliot answered honestly, "But, I think the more time he spends with Isaac the better. Besides, he's got Addison with him too."

"Two little boys." Olivia smiled, "We've got two little boys."

"Going on four." Elliot smiled touching her belly.

"Dream on, Daddy…these little ones are girls." She chuckled as they walked past the gift shop, "Oh…can we get Sam something?" she asked.

"Absolutely," he agreed, "But Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"How are my boys anyway? You cramped up yesterday didn't you?" he asked softly.

"I did." She confessed, "But, I drank orange juice and felt them kicking around like crazy…they're fine…and they're girls." She teased, "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that."

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Elliot and Olivia walked into Sam's room to find him sitting up in bed as a nurse brought a rolling tray over to him, "Hi, Baby." Olivia whispered kissing his head, "I'm so sorry we weren't here when you woke up."

"This little guy barely woke up." The nurse chuckled, "Hasn't said a word, but he's been awake for about five minutes…getting ready to eat a late breakfast." She smiled at Olivia, "Would you like me to help him go to the restroom first or would you prefer too?"

"He's not catheterized?" Elliot asked in confusion.

"No." The nurse shook her head picking up his chart, "His urethra wasn't damaged…it was close, maybe another centimeter or two, but no, the doctors want to see if he can urinate on his own."

"Sam?" Olivia asked softly, "Your Dad is here with me, would you like us to help you or the nurse?"

Sam remained silent and turned his face away from Olivia's voice, "Okay, baby…do you want your Dad to help you?"

He didn't respond and instead, he simply took his 'Tripod blanket' and covered his face with it. Olivia took a deep breath and gently pulled the blanket down, "I'm talking to you, Son." She whispered softly, "Please don't shut me out, Baby."

He pulled sharply at the blanket and thrust it back into the mattress in frustration as he ran his hand forward and back over long blond hair. He reached for Olivia and squeezed her hand.

"Do you want me to help you?" she asked softly and waited for him to nod his reply, "Okay." She smiled and looked at the nurse for direction.

"Just be smooth and gentle with him." She informed her.

Olivia painstakingly extracted their son from the bed and helped him to his feet as he groaned against her in pain, "What is it, Sam? Did I hurt you?" She asked kneeling infront of him. He shook his head no and exhaled tapping her belly.

"They're doing good honey." She whispered, "Are you hurting?" he shook his head yes and wiped a tear from his face.

"Okay, let's do this fast so we can get you back in bed, huh?" she said softly leading him to the restroom thankful that they'd let him stay naked, thankful that she wasn't going to have to fight with underwear.

"He'll need to wipe himself down when hes done as a precaution." The nurse informed her handing her a small packet and spray bottle.

"Thank you." Olivia nodded and waited for her to leave, "Okay, Sam, you can go." She whispered leading him up to the toilet and turning around.

He screeched and she turned back quickly just as he supported himself against the tank of the toilet and let out a sob.

"What happened?" Olivia asked kneeling next to him, "What happened baby?"

"Mom?" he whispered, "It hurts to touch."

"Okay." She shook her head softly, "let me see your hand."

He extended his hand to her and she took him softly at his wrist, "Point, Honey." She instructed and when he did she continued, "I'm going to show you where your stitches are so you know where not to touch okay?" he nodded in agreement and she slowly led his finger to the extream tip of his stitches, "Feel those?" she asked holding his wrist.

"Yeah." He nodded, "But it still hurts me."

"Okay." She exhaled softly knowing that if she didn't get him to go to the restroom they would eventually catheterize him and that would send him over the edge. "How about you sit and go…will that work?"

He shook his head and adjusted him self to the toilet finishing what he needed before standing. "Okay, spray this and then pat very softly." She instructed, "Do you need help with the bottle?"

"Yes, please." He whispered in brokenness.

She sprayed him gently and handed him the wipe, "Go ahead." She told him

"It'll hurt." He shook his head, "I don't want to hurt anymore, Mom."

She exhaled, "I know…do you want me to get the nurse to help you?"

"No." He whispered and grew nervous, "Mom? Could you help me?"

She arched her brows, "Yes, but I need you to know that it still might hurt and that I don't mean to make you hurt…can you understand that?" she asked softly.

He swallowed, "Yeah…yeah I can."

"Okay." She whispered and delicately patted him feeling his hands dig into her shoulders fighting back a yelp and whimper, "All done." She told him, "Wash your hands." She instructed and after several minutes found herself watching Elliot pull his blanket back over his body and help him with his breakfast as he held the stuff puppy they'd picked up for him tightly at his side.

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Breakfast gave way to lunch which Sam had bent over the toilet vomiting. Lunch and the hours following trickled by slowly but both Elliot and Olivia remained at his side occasionally leaving to call Paul and check in on Isaac. Sam, however; remained silent.

Elliot looked up as soon as the door opened to see Olivia walk into the room with Crystal, who held a small bouquet of balloons in her hand. "Sam…you have a visitor." Olivia said softly as Elliot stood to kiss her cheek.

Crystal, without direction led herself to Sam's bed, "How ya feeling Sammy?" she asked softly, "My Mom told me you were sick…so we brought you some balloons and I have a travel chess set if you'd like me to beat you."

Elliot laughed quietly and buried his face into Olivia's neck as he held her, "She's a ball buster." He whispered as Olivia smiled against her flesh, "You called them?"

"I thought she could get him to talk." Olivia whispered, "I don't want him to close up on us again."

"Mmm." Elliot shook his head in agreement as they watched the two kids from a distance.

"So…is your mouth broken?" Crystal asked in innocence, "Did you loose your voice?"

When he didn't answer she pulled the balloons closer to him and grabbed his hand allowing him to touch the balloons. He tried to pull away…she persisted, "Stop acting like a kindergartner…we're nine." She reminded him, "You should act like a nine year old."

Olivia covered her mouth to suppress the laugh, "She's rough when she needs to be…I like the kid." She told Elliot pulling his hands tighter around her middle. She felt the babies kick, "Fell that?" she whispered.

"Yeah…my boys are moving around in there…maybe they're running out of room?" He asked with a smile.

"As fat as I am, they should have plenty of space. Besides, they got another five months." She whispered as they watched Sam feel the balloons and let them float taught again.

"I brought your homework from summer school…our report cards are coming up so you can't get behind just 'cause your sick." Crystal informed him digging through her sac and retrieving a folder, "If you want, I can help, but you have to talk 'cause my mom says psychics aren't real, which means I can't read your mind."

"Leave me alone, Crystal." Sam muttered reaching into the tray and feeling for his gasses that Olivia had placed there earlier that day.

"Hey!" Crystal cocked her head, "Your mouth isn't broke."

Sam exhaled in frustration of the visitor and not being able to find his glasses. Crystal simply reached over and withdrew his glasses, "Here." She said putting them in his hands, "How come your mad?"

"I'm not mad." He huffed putting the glasses on.

"When my Dad acts like this," Crystal said putting the chess set on the table, "My mom tells him to stop acting like a jerk…so…stop acting like a jerk Sammy."

Sam's mouth went slack, his brows rising over the rims of his glasses, "That's not nice Crystal."

"Either is not talking to me." She shrugged as she sat up the pieces, "Fire before smoke, you're first."

"I don't want to play."

"You mean…you don't want to loose?"

"You can't beat me crystal." He said dryly, "You've never beat me."

"I can if you don't play." She quipped, "Hurry, mom said I could only stay for one game because grandma is coming for dinner."

"Crystal-"

"Okay, I'll go first." She smiled turning the chess set around, "Pawn to C3."

"I. Don't. Want to play." He said more agitated to which the young girl simply cocked her head to the side.

Olivia attempted to leave Elliot's embrace to sooth the situation over when Elliot held her back, "No." he whispered, "Let her do it…she's not gonna let him get away with throwing a tantrum."

"But…he's irritated." Olivia whispered back.

Elliot smiled, "He's me…she's you…let them talk this out they can do it."

Olivia exhaled and leaned back into his chest, "They remind you of us?"

"After seeing this today…yeah, no doubt." He chuckled against her as they continued to watch Crystals persistence and innocence calm a broken rage.

"I don't want to go to summer school, but I do." Crystal stated, "Move a piece or forfeit. Which means you loose."

"Crystal…" he exhaled and Olivia watched as he tried to casually wipe a tear from under his glasses, "I don't want you here."

"Well," she shrugged, "I'm here…you should move the piece, I moved Pawn to C3 whats your move?"

He clenched his jaw and ran his hands through his hair in irritation, frustration and border line anger. He sat up and placed his hand palm down on the tray and said more forcefully, "I'm not playing this stupid game."

"Your mean." Crystal whispered, hurt.

Olivia attempted to move and Elliot held her tight again, "No, Liv…they'll get through it."

"I'm not mean." He said quickly.

"Well your not nice right now." She said softly, "But I think maybe that's 'cause your sick, huh?"

Sam lowered his head in thought. Olivia and Elliot watched as his brows furrowed and he chewed his bottom lip, "What in the world is he thinking about?" Elliot whispered.

"I don't know." Olivia shook her head and continued to watch.

"Move something, Sammy." Crystal said again, "You always say your heart is sad…this will make it happy…move something." She urged him touching his hand gently and leading it to the chess board.

Sam felt the pieces gaining a feel for the unfamiliar board and after moments of silence, "Pawn to C7"

"Copy cat." Crystal shook her head, "Pawn to A1"

"Wussy." He giggled and Olivia and Elliot looked at eachother in brilliant shock at the interaction of the two. At how much these two youngsters mirrored them. "Knight to A7…you're not going to beat me…you know that right?" he told her in all serious to which she looked up, smiled coyly and said, "We'll see."

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"Now boys," Paul grinned sitting with Addison and Isaac in front of the television, "All good cartoons have a crazy character," he told them flipping to the cartoon network, "I mean, Aladdin had Iago, there was the lady with the seven dwarfs…sorry boys but seven short guys in one house constitutes crazy." He chuckled as he held Addison and Isaac crawled onto his thigh and leaned against him to look at Addison who was fighting sleep in his father's arms.

"What you have to remember is that cartoons are brilliant…far better than anything else-"

"Even me?" Casey smiled leaning up against the door frame and watching Paul quickly turn the channel.

"I don't know why you still attempt to hide it, Honey, I know you're a cartoon freak." She laughed placing her work bag down and sitting next to him, a gentle kiss to his neck before running her hand over Addison's hair as he slept, a bright smile given to Isaac as he reached for her then decided he rather liked Paul.

"You're home early." Paul smiled "Me and the boys were just discussing, um-"

"Cartoon Theory?" she smirked and kissed the corner of his mouth, "How are Olivia and Elliot? Any news on Sam?"

"They…you know? …I don't know." He shook his head and exhaled "I think they're having problems."

"What do you mean? Like with the boys or between themselves?"

"I got up to change Addison's diaper and Elliot was sitting at the kitchen table." He said trying to keep his glasses on his face as Isaac tried to explore them.

"What happened?"

"Nothing per se…I asked if the room was alright, if he needed something. After a few minutes of chit chat he asked for the phone number of the councilor that we're seeing."

Casey's eyebrows nearly met her hairline, "She hasn't said anything, in fact, they've been pretty happy."

"I don't know." Paul shrugged, "I don't know what's going on."

"I'll talk to her…uh oh."

"What?" Paul asked looking at the boys to see if something was wrong.

"You think Olivia knows she's seeing _our_ marriage councilor? That's weird."

"Doesn't bother me…does it bother you? I'm sorry I didn't ask."

Casey smiled, "It's fine, I'm not upset."

"Good." He grinned and leaned to kiss her only to be surprised when Isaac stood up and inspected their lip lock, "Hey," Paul laughed, "Get your own girl…she's mine." He teased Isaac who laughed and cupped their necks pushing them back together, "I think he wants me to kiss you again."

Casey smiled and leaned in for his kiss, "He's a smart boy."

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"Sam…you're loosing it Buddy." Elliot chuckled, "Crystal slaughtered you."

"She didn't slaughter me, Dad." Sam protested in a calm voice.

"Then what do you call it when she had all of your pieces?" Olivia chuckled, happy he was talking.

Sam exhaled and pursed his lips, "Annihilation…total annihilation, I think she's been practicing at home."

"I'll say." Olivia grinned, laughing as a knock resonated through the room.

"Oh," Sam smiled, "She's back for a rematch."

"Hardly." Elliot laughed, "It's almost four O'clock…which means your pain medicine is coming."

"Hi!" A bright voice entered the room, "I'm looking for a Little Man, he's about this tall," the woman held her hand to her waist, "I hear he has the most gorgeous green eyes and blond hair…his name is Sam, do you know him?" She asked Olivia showing her credentials as the psychiatrist the emergency physician said she would recommend.

Olivia chuckled, "Hmmm, Sam, I think you've got another girl here to see you."

"Such the ladies man." Elliot teased him.

"Dad!" Sam groaned, "Stop it."

"What?" Elliot teased, "You've had some very nice looking ladies come to see you…Alex was here, then there was Crystal and now another one-"

"Don't forget Mom." Sam smiled, "She's more pretty then all of them." He grinned.

Elliot smiled, "You don't have to tell me that…I already know."

Olivia blushed and rolled her eyes, "Sam…I need to talk with you honey."

Sam cocked his head to her voice, "What?"

"Well," Olivia exhaled and sat on the edge of his bed, "do you remember George?"

Sam frowned, "I don't like him, Mom."

"I know," Olivia whispered "He's not here, don't worry."

He furrowed his brows tightly and ground his teeth, "Is she like George?"

"Yes…how do you feel about that?" Olivia asked taking his hand into hers.

"I don't like George…but…do I like her?"

"I can't tell you if you like her, Honey…you've got to talk to her and make your own decision."

"You're going to make me talk to her? About what?" he asked sitting up and groaning at the strain in his body.

"Lay down son." Elliot whispered, "It's okay."

"Mom?" Sam furrowed his brow, "Why is she here?"

"Samuel." Olivia ran her finger gently over his cheek, "Honey, you hurt yourself really bad, and I think, maybe you did it because your heart hurts you so much…she wants to help you fix your heart." She said laying her palm softly on his chest surprised when he covered her hand.

Sam held her hand against him, "I prayed that God would make my heart stop…so I couldn't be sad anymore…but…He doesn't listen to me like He use to…not anymore."

Olivia exhaled fighting her tears and kissing his cheek before whispering to him, "He listens to you everyday, Baby. He's quiet because He can't let you go…I can't let you go."

"But…why do I have to talk to her…can't God just make me better?" He asked in frustration rubbing his hair, "Mom, will you cut my hair? It's too long."

"Sam…don't change the subject." She told him softly, "I don't know why we have to go through things that hurt us…I just know that in the end, it's always worth it."

"I don't want to talk to her." He repeated.

"I'd like you to." Olivia whispered, "That would really make my heart happy."

Sam exhaled, remained silent before turning his head, "Dad?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Will it make your heart happy too?"

Elliot blinked out tears and kissed the back of Sam's hand, "So happy."

"Okay." Sam whispered, "But…this doesn't mean I like her."

"Okay." Olivia smiled and wiped her tears, "We'll be outside."

"No." Sam shook his head, "Could you and Dad stay with me…I'm not so sure I like her."

Olivia turned to the young woman, "Is it okay if we sit out of the way?"

"Sure." She smiled and pulled up a chair to Sam's bed and exhaled and Olivia and Elliot his in the recesses of the room, "Boy, Sam…I'm so exhausted." The woman offered a fake yawn.

"Shouldn't you tell me your name first?" Sam asked.

"You're right." She grinned, "I'm Sleeping Beauty."

Sam laughed, "No your not…she's not real."

"Right." She chuckled, "Sorry….what I meant to say is that I'm Princess Fiona."

Sam giggled, "You're an ogre?"

She feigned hurt, "I'm a princess."

"What's your real name?" Sam asked unaware that he'd been sucked into a conversation.

"Margo, but people call me Mags."

"Mags." Sam repeated, "That's a cool name…why are you tired Mags?"

Mags scanned the room quickly and settle her eyes on the only thing visible, "I was up all night playing chess."

"You play chess?" he tilted his head.

"Yep." She smiled, "Do you?"

"Yeah…I just got creamed today." He shook his head, "Dad says I got slaughtered."

"You like your dad?"

"I love my dad…like him too." Sam smiled softly and yawned.

"What do you like to do with your dad?"

"I like it when Dad tells me stories about when he met mom, and I like when he lets me ride on his shoulders and I like when he lets me build things with him." Sam smiled, "I like my Dad."

"Do you like your mom?"

Sam grinned, "My mom makes my heart smile."

"Wow…she must be a really special lady, because…I noticed when I walked in that…your heart wasn't smiling." She finished softly, "Was it sad?"

"Yeah…a little." He responded clutching the stuffed puppy next to him.

"Can you tell me why?"

"I don't want to tell you why." He responded simply.

"Okay." She agreed, "Can you tell me why you're here…what happened to you?"

Sam exhaled and turned his face from her voice, "I hurt myself."

"How." She asked gently.

Sam shifted in his bed and rubbed his hand over his hair, "Can you tell my mom I need a hair cut?"

"Sure." She smiled, "But…I'd really like to know how you hurt yourself…think you can tell me?"

"Onions have layers." Sam whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you were Princess Fiona…Shrek says Onions have layers."

"Yes he does, doesn't he?" she chuckled then grew serious, "Do you have layers, Sam?"

"I want to be happy for everyone." He whispered, "But…my heart…I think its broken because it doesn't really get happy…sometimes, Mom can make it smile but then it's broken again and it doesn't smile."

"What broke it?" she asked looking behind her as Olivia rested her head on Elliot's shoulder listening intently…crying quietly.

"I think it was broken when I was born…because I don't ever remember it working." He confessed before biting his lip, "I think…I think maybe God put a bad heart in me and that's why He talks to me so much and answers my prayers…because He's sad that he gave me a sad heart."

"Sam-"

"Why are my Mom and Dad friends with my Daddy Wilson?" he suddenly blurted turning to her voice, "Why did Daddy Wilson change his name?"

Olivia and Elliot straightened immediately in their chairs and furrowed their brows, both making a mental list of who he could be talking about.

"Who's Daddy Wilson?"

"He's my real Daddy…he was bad, but Elliot, is a better Daddy…but I don't know why he likes my Daddy Wilson, he was bad to me."

"When was the last time you were with Daddy Wilson?" Mags asked looking at the complete confusion on Elliot and Olivia's face.

"I think…maybe…I didn't go to school yet." He shrugged, "I can't remember it's been a long time…but I remember things." Sam assured her, "I have a good memory and my Mom helps me memorize words and the Bible. She has three whole Psalms memorized now and-"

"Sam," Mags cut him off softly, "What do you remember about your 'Daddy Wilson?'

Sam exhaled, "His cologne, it gave me headaches."

"I see…anything else?"

"He gave me my favorite soda in the mornings and that was how I knew it was gonna be a good day, because he didn't hurt me if he gave me a Sprite in the morning, but…if there was no soda…he hurt me…sometimes, he would hurt me and then I could have a soda…those days were confusing." He exhaled, "Do you think my hair is too long?" he asked suddenly out of the blue.

She smiled recognizing his nervousness and took his hand gently into hers, "I think your hair is perfect." She assured him, "Is there anything else you remember about your daddy Wilson?"

"He…he always clicked his pens…I have good ears and it bothered my ears how he clicked his pens so fast, it made my heart go really fast and I got hot." He told her. "I don't so much like him now…and I don't know why Dad brought him to the house…Mom said he would never bring anyone to the house that would hurt us, but he hurt me and Dad let him come to the house…it confuses me."

Olivia looked at Elliot who simply stared in confusion and shook his head indicating he didn't know what was going on.

"Did you ask your Daddy why he let him in?"

"No…but I didn't talk to him I just sat really still and prayed he'd go away."

"And did he?"

"Yeah…that's when God was listening to me." Sam exhaled, "Now He's quiet."

"Oh, I see." Mags tilted her head, "So you don't have to see him anymore?"

"Yeah, but I don't understand why he changed his name and I don't really like his name, it's not strong like mine, and I don't like his office his toys suck and I don't like all the questions he asks me…because…he already knows the answers. He's the one that hurt me, so why does he need to know how I felt?" Sam asked with increasing anger, "I hate him."

"You said you still see him…when?"

"Every Monday, after school…I don't so much like Monday's anymore."

Mags furrowed her brow, "Sam…you said he changed his name…what's his new name?"

Sam exhaled and turned away from her, "George…I really hate George." He whispered, but before Mags could ask anything further a nurse came in.

"Time for your medicine, Young Man." She smiled down at Sam, "Uh oh, what's with the long face?" she asked preparing the drugs as she looked at Mags who was now standing and Olivia and Elliot who sat in shock and confusion.

"He's had a hard couple of days." Mags whispered to the nurse then turned back to Sam, "Sam, get some sleep tonight…I'll stop by tomorrow, maybe we can get in a game of chess?"

"You can't beat me." He yawned, "Crystal only won 'cause I let her." He confessed with a small smile, "It's called throwing the game…no one can beat me."

"Get some sleep, I'm gonna tell your mom to cut your hair, well be just outside while the nurse gives you your medicine okay?"

"Kay." He muttered through sleep as they walked outside the room.

"I don't understand what's going on…there has to be some major confusion, here." Olivia began to pace, "There's no way George is his father."

"Do you know that conclusively?" Mags asked, "Just playing devils advocate."

Olivia looked at Elliot in frustration with not being able to make herself clear. "George is Asian." Elliot explained, "Sam doesn't have a hint of Asian in him…there's got to be some mistake."

"Well," Mags mulled the situation over, "let me ask you something?"

"What?" Olivia asked impatiently as she rubbed her belly.

"Has Sam ever actually touched this George guy?"

Olivia raised her brows and looked at Elliot, both shook their heads 'No', "No, not that we know of." Olivia finally spoke.

"Then maybe that's your explanation."

"Excuse me?" Elliot furrowed his brow.

"Sam described all sensory references to his Father Wilson except touch. He described the clicking of his pen, the sound of his voice even his scent…nothing physical… did he have soda at the office?" she asked.

Olivia groaned, "A sprite…it's his favorite, uggh that's why he went, he wanted the soda, I'm such and idiot!" she said shaking her head as Elliot stroked her back in an effort to calm her.

"How could you have known?" Mags asked softly as she touched and squeezed Olivia's forearm softly, "He's confused, he hasn't been around his father in years and according to his mental reference this George guy…_is_ his father." She explained then grabbed at her pager as it sounded, "Shoot!" she groaned and reached into her pocked for a card, "I have an emergency, but feel free to call me…I'm going to come by again and talk with him if you don't mind."

Elliot accepted the card, "We don't…please do."

She smiled and walked away pulling out a cell phone and dialing as she turned the corner, "Wow…didn't see that one coming." Elliot exhaled sitting down next to Olivia who was pale and staring at nothing.

"El?" she swallowed hard.

"Yeah?"

"Do you now what this means?" she asked in a daze.

"Tell me." He exhaled rubbing her back.

She sniffled and put her head on his shoulder, "This means we've been forcing Sam to talk to a man…that he thinks raped him."


	31. Chapter 31 Sick Psycho

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 31

Sick Psycho

"Sam." Elliot whispered as afternoon light snuck into the hospital room and warmed the young boy's face, "Sam, it's past morning time, Son." He told him softly rubbing his small chest with his palm. "Wake up, Buddy." Elliot whispered through a smile; a small kiss placed on his innocent cheek.

Sam stirred, rubbed his eyes with his fists and yawned, "Tired." He grumbled trying to turn to his side but soon realizing he couldn't with the pillows keeping his legs separated. He groaned at the uncomfortable position and flopped his head back onto his pillow.

"Your Mom is here." Elliot informed him, "I see that smile you're trying to hide." he teased as Sam finally gave in and grinned.

"Mornin' Mom."

"Mornin' Baby." Olivia said softly, perching herself on his bed. Bright red eyes from a night of tears.

"Your voice is sad." He said softly, "Why?"

Olivia cocked her head to the side and smiled softly, "Baby…I just want you home and better."

"That makes you sad?" He asked in confusion.

She exhaled softly and shook her head not sure what to say. Elliot stood, bent low and kissed her cheek tenderly, "I'm gonna go ask the nurse for his lunch."

"It's lunch time?" Sam asked with furrowed brows, "What happened to breakfast?"

Elliot chuckled, "You slept right through it."

"Oh." Sam furrowed his brow, "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have a soda today?"

Elliot looked down at Olivia who nodded her head in agreement, "Sure." Elliot smiled and kissed Olivia's forehead before heading to the door.

"Dad?"

Elliot grinned, "Yes?"

"No more Sprite, okay?"

Elliot's grin faltered as he absorbed what was hidden behind such a simple request, "No problem." He whispered hoarsely and bowed his head leaving the room.

"Mom?" Sam turned his face in her direction.

"Yeah?" She whispered wiping tears that had fallen since Mags had spoken with her son; tears that flowed since she realized that as a mother, she had failed him…miserably.

"Why are you sad?"

"Because you hurt yourself Sam." She told him softly and held his hand over her heart, "And that makes me so sad." She whispered running her hand through his hair, "You need a hair cut young man."

He smiled, "I told you."

"Guess what?" She told him brightly as she stretched out next to him and let him snuggle as much as he could providing his inability to be on his side.

"What?" he whispered into her shoulder trying to bury his face in the security of his mother.

"Your dad and I talked to the doctor's today and they said that you can come home tonight."

"Really?" He grinned softly, "Cool…I miss tripod and Is-" he stopped immediately and exhaled in frustration.

She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him softly, "It's okay to say you miss your brother."

"I don't want to hurt him mom, I don't want to hurt anyone…that's why I hurt myself." He confessed.

"Son…I've told you…I know you won't hurt him. I believe in you and I know you won't hurt anyone on purpose." She assured him, "You've got to understand that, Honey. I can tell you it all day and every day…and I will if you need it…but you've got to believe it and understand it for yourself if you're ever going to pull out of this Honey."

"Mom…do you…do you think I'll get better?"

"I believe you will. I pray that you will…I have faith that you will." She assured him, "Mags is coming in a few minutes to talk with you again…you cool with that?" she asked kissing the crown of his head.

"Is it the only way I'll get better?" he asked burying his face deeper into her body.

She exhaled and rubbed his belly softly, "Yeah, Baby…I think it is."

He exhaled, kissed her neck affectionately and laid his hand over hers, "I'm cool." He whispered.

"Good." She smiled against his hair, "Guess what else?" she told him happily.

"What?"

"This morning your dad and I went to the doctor to see how your sisters are doing."

"Brother and sister." He corrected patting her abdomen, "Are they okay? Did I hurt them too?" he asked.

She furrowed her brow, "Honey, they're fine. They're doing great…why do you think you hurt them?" she asked in confusion.

"Mom" He furrowed his brow and chewed his lip, "I think I hurt you too…I…you scared me and I thought you were 'daddy Wilson' and I hate him and I wanted to hurt him…but I heard you make a sound…I hurt you?"

"It was an accident, don-"

"Where at?" he asked with a saddened face.

"It's not a big deal, Honey, I know it was an accident."

"Where?" he persisted, "Can I feel it?"

She exhaled just as Elliot walked quietly into the room with a lunch tray in hand and observed the two laying side by side. He placed the tray on the rolling table and quietly took a seat.

"Mom? I want to feel it…if it's okay." He whispered, "I'll be soft."

She smiled softly and unbuttoned the top button to her blouse moving the fabric away just enough for the sutures to be seen, "Give me you're hand, Honey." She whispered and took his gently into hers, guiding him to the soft flesh of her shoulder near the strap of her bra.

His faced contorted in pain as soon as his fingers touched her sutures, "I'm sorry, Mom."

She smiled softly, ran her hand through his hair, "Don't be." She whispered, "I'll heal. I'm gonna be okay and you didn't hurt your sisters."

"Brother and-"

"Sister." She finished with a soft smile, "Right. I forgot."

Sam exhaled and tilted his head, "Mom? Can I kiss it and make it better?"

She smiled as her tears flowed. She'd been a hard nose cop for years. She was strong, and while the cases always took a piece of her they never broke her. Yet here, in front of her, was a young boy that could reduce her to tears with his innocence. She decided that was beautiful. "Yeah, Baby…I'd like that." She whispered and closed her eyes as he kissed her wound tenderly. She kissed the crown of his head in response, "Thank you, Son."

He pulled away just as Mags entered the room, but he kept his focus on his mother, "All better?"

"All better." Olivia whispered, "We're all gonna be better…I promise."

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"So," Mags grinned, "Guess what I watched this morning." She said moving a chess piece.

"News?" Sam guessed, "My dad watches the news sometimes, but sometimes he says I'm sneaky when I change the tv with the remote to cartoons." He chuckled, "Um, Mags…you have to tell me where you moved your piece."

"Oh." Her eyes went wide. She honestly had no concept of how to play the game. Yesterday it had been a ploy to make him talk. She didn't think he'd want to play with her this afternoon. "Um…let's say…uh…this little piece to um…the seventh row and the second box."

Sam furrowed his brow, "Who taught you how to play chess? Robert would freak out."

She chuckled, "You know what I meant."

"Okay…but you should fix it." He said shaking his head, "What did you watch?"

"Well, I just watched The Emperor's New Grove."

Sam chuckled and waved his hands in front of him, "No touchy!"

Mags laughed "That's my favorite part too! I think that the movie is hilarious!"

"I like it." Sam agreed, "It sounds super funny…pawn to C3."

"Oh it definitely is…tell me something Sam…why is that your favorite part of the movie?" she asked moving another piece after he'd finished, "Um…this horsy thing to A4." She said with doubt.

"I think you mean A3."

"Right." She smiled and rolled her eyes wondering how she could get herself into this mess, "So…why's it your favorite?" She asked again casually.

Sam moved his queen, "Check mate…you really suck at this game Mags." He smiled, "It's okay…no one can beat me."

She laughed and pushed the game board aside, "You gonna answer my question?"

"I like it because…sometimes that's what I want to tell people…I wish I could have been a big boy and told him that." He whispered, exhaled and leaned back on his pillow, turning his head to the window. He closed his eyes against the warmth of the sun. Against the horrors of memories.

"Who?"

"My 'Daddy Wilson'…Grandma and Grandpa…everyone." He whispered, "Where is my mom and dad?"

"Remember?" she asked softly, "Your daddy had an emergency at work and your mommy had to go home and fix the house 'cause you're going home tonight after we're done talking."

"Can I call her?" he asked softly.

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"Are you helping me?" Olivia said in an animated voice as Isaac handed her the pillow to Sam's bed.

Isaac giggled and rested his head on Sam's bed, "Sam Sam Bye bye?"

Olivia grinned at his tiny voice, "Yeah, Sweet Boy, he's gone…but he's coming home today."

Isaac grinned again and slapped his hands on the mattress, "Sam Sam!"

She laughed and kissed his face as the phone rang, "What's that?" she asked with a face of wonderment, "Is that the phone?" she asked as she started to lead him down the hall. He laughed and raced his pampered body down the hall pointing to the phone on the counter with a smile.

"Stabler residence, this is Liv." She said picking up Isaac and allowing him to rest his head on her shoulder, "Sam?" she furrowed her brow, "Honey, what's wrong?"

"Mom," his voice was anxious, "Mom…my hair is too long, will you cut it for me?"

She rested her head against Isaac's, whishing Sam was at home with her and not having his heart broken by a shrink, "Just as soon as you get better, Baby." She whispered.

"Okay." He exhaled, "I love you, mom."

"I love you too. I'll be there to pick you up real soon okay? Keep talking to Mags; me and your brother will be there in no time."

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"Here you go." Sam whispered, handing her cell phone back to her, "Thank you, Mags."

"No prob." Mags smiled, "I like to make my hair appointments as soon as possible too." She assured him, "So…Sam…why did you want to tell your family 'No Touchy'?" she asked casually as she boxed the chess set. No way she was gonna submit herself to that again.

"Touch hurts." He told her as he clutched his blanket.

"Always?"

"With my old family…always." He shook his head softly, "I'm hungry."

"Would you like some help with your food?" she asked softly already pulling the tray to him and adjusting the bed so he could sit up.

"Thank you." He said lowly, "What is everything?" he asked.

"You've got a corn dog here." She said leading his hand to the location, "Apple sauce here and you're vegetables here, and your drink is here."

"Soda? What kind?" he asked.

"Strawberry Fanta." She smiled and opened it, "Complete with a bendy straw."

Sam smiled, "Cool." He reached for his soda, took a sip and grinned, "Oh, better than Sprite."

"I agree." She chuckled, "Sam," she lowered her voice into seriousness, "Tell me why touch hurts you."

Sam picked at his corndog and exhaled, "It…makes my body hurt."

"How so?" she encouraged him.

"Really sore." He whispered, "Sometimes…sometimes when I would have to have a spanking with the belt…I felt blood. Touch makes me bleed and hurt and I think that's why I wanted to tell 'Daddy Wilson' 'No touchy' because I knew he was going to hurt me…bad."

"How did you know?"

Sam slipped his glasses on and leaned against his pillow suddenly not interested in his food, "That's just what Daddy Wilson did."

"How did it make you feel?"

"Sometimes…sometimes I would pray to God that he would take me away from "Daddy Wilson and give me to people who love me."

"And did that happen?" Mags asked for the sole benefit of his response.

Sam grinned and shook his head frantically, "Yeah, yeah. My mommy and daddy love me. I'm their boy."

"Too cool." Mags grinned and waited a few moments, "Can you tell me what your daddy Wilson did to you?"

Sam looked away and stayed that way well over twenty minutes. Mags exercised her patience and simply read a magazine that Olivia had left behind. Olivia had quietly slipped into the room with a sleeping Isaac against her shoulder. It seemed Isaac loved a good car ride. Knocked him out every time. She took her seat and continued to rub Isaac's back as she looked at Mags in question who simply encouraged her to keep quiet.

"Sam-" Mags started.

"I know she's here." He whispered, "I know her perfume."

"Can you answer my question?" Mags asked again.

Sam clutched his blanket and whispered so softly that Olivia almost missed it, and after hearing, "Daddy Wilson…he…he made me kiss his peter." She whished she had.

"Can you tell me what a peter is?" Mags asked already knowing the answer.

"Mom says it's a penis." He swallowed, "My stomach hurts."

"Do you want to stop?" Mags asked gently, "Would you like a sip of your drink."

Sam bowed his head, exhaled and with one furious motion swiped at his food tray causing everyone to jump in the room. Olivia quickly soothed Isaac back into sleep before he could wake up completely from the start.

Sam exhaled and rested his elbows on the rolling tray his face in his palms, "Mom." Sam whispered holding out his hand, "Mom, I need you."

Olivia quickly made a makeshift bed by pushing two chairs together forming both bed and railings with the armrest. She laid Isaac down gently and sat at Sam's side, "What's up?" she whispered softly.

"I'm sick." He told her, and when his body contracted Olivia darted for the pale just in time to catch his release which was more than likely dinner from the night before seeing as he hadn't made a dent in his current meal.

"It's okay." She whispered rubbing his back softly, "You are absolutely okay."

"No more talking, please?" he hiccupped.

"No more, Sam." Mags chimed in softly, "You did fantastic today though…maybe we can meet again huh? Maybe after you get settled in back home again huh?"

Olivia shook her head softly, "Thank you."

Mags smiled and squeezed Olivia's arm, "He's a good boy."

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"Al!" Robert called into the house, "Honey? You here?"

"Here!" She called back from the back of the house and grinned when he finally appeared in the door frame, "Hey, what are you doing home so early?"

"Summer school is cake." He shrugged, "Paper work is minimal." He smiled and pulled her gently up from the bed where she'd been folding laundry, "How are you doing?"

She grinned up at him, "I'm doing amazingly well, thank you."

"Amazingly well?" He beamed with wide eyes, "That is so good to hear."

"I thought that would bring you a smile." She teased kissing his lips softly, "Can I see if I can get you to grin?" she asked pulling gently on his tie and pushing him down to the mattress.

"How do you plan on doing that?" he asked trying not to grin too broadly when she straddled his hips and rubbed herself over his thighs.

"I have my ways." She informed him as she started to kiss and tongue his neck.

"Why do I have the feeling that your 'ways' are going to be the death of me?" He chuckled resting his hands on her hips.

"Robert?" She whispered her name against his ear as she cupped his face softly, "I've been thinking."

He smiled at her touch and rolled her so that she lay tightly tucked under him, "Whatchya been thinking about, Gorgeous?"

She raised her head kissing him tenderly on the mouth, "Trying again for a baby?" She asked softly… when his body cringed, she wish she hadn't.

Robert released her slowly and sat up, resting his face in his palms. He swallowed the emotion that threatened to release, "It's…only been four months, Alex."

"I know." She whispered kneeling behind him and kissing his shoulder softly, "What do you think we would have had?"

He smiled broadly, "A boy." He whispered reaching up and pulling her arms around him.

She exhaled softly against his neck, "I think so too."

"Really?"

"Yeah…then again we could have been rebellious and had a little girl…she would have been the only girl in the lot." She chuckled sadly, "Robert…I'd like to try for a baby."

"Al," his voice was pained, "Alex, I…I'm not ready, I'm sorry." He whispered and although he couldn't see it, he knew she wore a look of pain and hurt, "I'm sorry Al…I just," he exhaled in frustration stood to his feet, breaking her embrace and walked to the wall. He leaned his back against it and folded his arms allowing his head to produce a soft thud against the wall, "I wanted our baby…so bad."

She let out a sob at his confession. He'd been so strong for her that she never stopped to think about him. She saw the look on his face when the crib came shortly after she miscarried. She heard him pace at night through the living room for hours on end and she'd seen him throw himself into his work, but she never heard him confess how much pain he was in.

Alex pushed herself off of the bed and walked to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and sobbing, "I'm so sorry, Robert…I didn't pay attention, I'm sorry."

He buried his face in her neck, held her hips as he cried quietly, "Don't be…this isn't anyone's fault, Al…I just…it's only been four months. He wouldn't have even been born yet…you've got to give me some time…please."

She closed her eyes against him, "I know…I know." She whispered and stayed in his embrace as they stood holding one another. Several minutes passed allowing tears to dry, heartbeats to return to normal and gentle kisses to be exchanged.

He pulled her back and looked at her intently, red eyes, red nose she was the epitome of beautiful and the best thing was…she knew it. "I love you, Al."

She shook her head in understanding, pressed her lips together to hold back a sob as he wiped her tears softly from her face, "I love you too." She whispered, kissing the palm of his hand, "I love you too."

He smiled, "Ready for this shin dig tonight?" he asked tucking her hair behind her ear.

She exhaled and looked away still fighting tears. "Or you and I could stay in…watch a movie…rest with each other, how's that sound?" he asked softly.

She rested her forehead against his and sniffled, "I'd like to spend tonight with you."

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"Why couldn't I have been rich instead of having such a good looking family?" Casey grinned resting her head on Paul's shoulder as she peered down at her five month old son.

"You're cocky." Paul chuckled bending to kiss the crown of her head.

"Thank you." She beamed as they walked through the path at the park. "Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad that you always have him…that you're comfortable with him again." She told him wrapping her hand around his waist, "I had hoped that you'd be able too."

Paul exhaled, "I missed him…I'm not sure how I ever thought holding my son could be wrong." He confessed softly, "I love him." He grinned down at his son and nuzzled his nose with his own.

Casey grinned, "Good, I'm really glad."

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Fin stayed at a distance and surveyed the room. No one was available except the one person he wanted to see. "Sam." He whispered placing a "Get well" stuffed teddy bear down next to his puppy, "You asleep Shorty?" Sam woke with a slight start. A male voice. Too close.

"Relax Ankle Biter." Fin smiled, "It's Fin."

Sam grinned brightly, "Odie Fish!"

Fin rolled his eyes and smacked his lips, "Yeah, somethin' like that."

"Where ya been Odie?" Sam asked.

"Work." Fin shrugged, "I brought you something though…I talked to your dad, he was helping me on a case and he told me you were in the hospital…ditching school, huh?" he teased.

Sam's smile faded slightly, "Wasn't feeling really good…did you want to talk to Mom? She's talking to my doctors 'cause I'm goin' home soon."

Fin smiled softly, "I just came to give you this." He told him, handing him the teddy bear, "It's got tootsie pops in his paws, but you have to ask your Mom for one okay?"

Sam agreed, "You leavin' already, Odie?"

"Yeah." Fin exhaled, "Tell your Mom I said…I said…tell her-"

"That you miss her?" Sam offered.

Fin smiled, "Yeah."

"Maybe you could tell me." Olivia's voice sliced gently into their conversation startling both.

"Yeah, Odie…tell her." Sam muttered focusing on counting just how many tootsie pops came with the bear.

Fin stood, "Sorry, I…Stabler told me he was here."

Olivia smiled holding Isaac who had since woken up, "You talked to Elliot?"

"Yeah…he's working a pretty difficult case right now. He's got the experience and I think Mac needs to learn from him on this."

"In other words, Mac is irritating you?"

Fin smacked his lips, "Yeah."

"Give him some time Fin." Olivia smiled absently kissing the top of Isaac's head, "All new partners have to feel each other out and…it seems like he comes with his own baggage. Dare I ask you to be patient with him?"

Fin exhaled, "That son of-"

"Motherless Goat." Olivia raised her brows, "I think that's what you were gonna say around my boys."

Fin chuckled, "Yeah…he's just…just-"

"Not Munch." Olivia shook her head softly, "He'll never be, either."

Fin looked away, "Yeah."

"Fin?"

"Benson?" he smirked.

"I really am sorry I didn't say anything to you."

"I get it, Liv…I understand." He assured her, "I uh…I had come by when you asked me to but there was no one else there…so…I-"

"Left a really nice gift on our porch." She smiled squeezing his forearm, "Thank you, Fin."

He bowed his head and looked back up, "He's cute…for a kid." He said patting Isaac's back. "I'll see ya Liv."

"Fin." She stopped him and wrapped her free arm around him careful not to smash Isaac, "Hey, we still want you around…come to dinner sometime, huh?" she asked releasing him.

"Yeah," Sam chimed in with his lips around a tootsie pop, "Come to dinner sometime." He muttered.

Fin chuckled, "You were supposed to ask your mother."

"Oops."

Fin grinned, "Dinner sounds good…let me know?"

"Will do." Olivia smiled, "Cya Fin."

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"Sam Sam!" Isaac grinned running through the house.

"Slow down or you're gonna crack your head." Olivia warned through a chuckle as Isaac barreled down the hall to the couch to see Sam.

"Hi, Bro." Sam smiled tiredly as he lie on the couch. The ride home was painful at best. Olivia had given him some pain killer before actually leaving the hospital and he knocked out half way home which meant she had to carry him into the house which is precisely why he only made it to the couch. Seemed her 'Little Man' was putting on 'Little Pounds'.

He'd been knocked out for hours and she and Isaac played with toy cars, racing them here and there on the floor in the office. The child monitor very much on and turned up. She laughed hysterically as Isaac had made quick work of his clothing as soon as she'd laid Sam down. Off went the soft blue polo shirt landing somewhere in the foyer. He ran around the house as happy as a twenty month old could be. And just about as sneaky too.

Olivia had just about fallen out of the kitchen chair where she was working, when Isaac literally streaked through the kitchen laughing with bright blue eyes, "Hey!" she'd called to him, "Where's your modesty, Son?" She laughed standing up and running after him as he took off, "Get over here, Naked." She giggled bending down and swooping him up into her arms at his waist, "You're in violation of a public ordinance, Buster." She teased, taking him back to his room, "I'm gonna have to arrest ya and put another pamper on you." He chuckled brightly and placed his chubby hands on her face kissing her as she walked with him.

He rolled side to side as she tried to put another diaper on his small frame, "You're quite the worm." She laughed finally fastening the pamper.

"Wee wee." He chuckled.

"Don't you dare!" she tickled him, "I just changed you."

He laughed again, but the calm in his face let her know he would need another changing. "You sneaky little boy." She smiled reaching for another pamper and changing him as he again tried to worm here and there, "Man," Olivia laughed pulling out a small 'A' shirt and shaking her head, "What was in your cereal this morning, huh?" she asked.

Isaac looked at her and smiled reaching for the lotion and handing it to her. "Want it on?" She asked to which he clapped his hands in delight and stood up holding her shoulders as she smoothed the pink lotion over his body, "You smell like little baby." She laughed and kissed his forehead, putting the 'A' shirt over his body, "I'm not even gonna attempt pants, Mister. I'll-have-them-off-in-no-time." She laughed and hugged him tightly. It was good to laugh about silly things. Good to be silly. Good to have both of her boys home with her.

Isaac bolted just as soon as his feet hit the floor, "Go see your brother." Olivia called after him and straightened up the changing area she'd just used. She walked down the hall and stopped at the end to see the little 'A' shirt had already been discarded. She rolled her eyes and chuckled picking it up and casting it to the side. She stopped just shy of the living room to see that Sam had managed to sit himself up and had his arm draped around Isaac who sat happily in his pamper next to his big brother.

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Olivia tossed and turned. The girls were making her work on her eighth trip to the restroom. When she tried to lay on her side, they protested, when she tried her back they protested and when she tried soothing them with roaming hands…they protested. "You two are so grumpy." She muttered sleepily into the atmosphere. She looked at the clock, Elliot had been working on his fifteenth hour. She wasn't so sure she wanted to know the case. Not if it was taking this long. The bad ones take this long.

She decided, since their girls weren't letting her sleep, she could use the time to work on the homework, Viv had given them. She wasn't so sure she knew how to write a 'Love letter'. Hell, she wasn't so sure she knew what was supposed to actually go into a love letter. She was almost appalled when Viv had assigned it to them. She laughed to herself as she retrieved a notepad from her night stand and scrounged around for a pen and those blasted glasses.

She reluctantly slipped them on. It was that or trudge over to the bathroom and put in the contacts that take way too long. Her heart had almost been obliterated when Sam asked if she could put her contacts in his eyes so he could see.

She exhaled and started to write getting absolutely nowhere fast. The assignment had been simple enough; tell your spouse what you feel like when you're with them. Maybe that's not really a 'Love letter.' Olivia decided with a smirk, then again there was also the section where she was suppose to describe what it feels like when he makes love to her.

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Elliot tipped quietly into the kitchen. Exhausted both physically and mentally he made a mental note to kill Fin for pawning this one off on him. He'd seen too much today. So much blood from a little body. How was it even possible? He asked himself as the ME team wheeled the lifeless body of a little boy into the coroner's van. A uniformed officer had shot the suspect and Elliot decided he would have done the same thing. Absolutely. Not a question in his mind.

He took his dinner plate from the refrigerator and smiled at her note, _Quick! There's a fat chick in our bed. Love you more than you know – Liv. _

He smiled to himself and could have sworn he inhaled his meal. She was a good cook and he was starving. After cleaning up he tiptoed into Sam and Isaac's room and gently picked up Isaac laying him softly in Sam's bed only to slip in right behind him and hold both of his boys and one grumpy dog tightly.

There was so much blood. The boy had such an innocent face. Blond hair. Green eyes. A piece of both of his sons. He cried softly and held his boys close to him, "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to what you said Sam." He said softly. He didn't want to wake them up but, he did want them to know that, as a father…he'd known he failed them. It was made all too clear when the lifeless eyes of a seven year old boy stared up at him.

He wept almost bitterly apologizing to Isaac for going on that camping trip, for not thinking ahead of time that the death of CrackJack, of two seemingly healthy dogs, should have tripped his detective radar. He apologized because he loves them. Because he had to tell another parent that they would never see their child and he knew what that felt like. He apologizesd for everything, for not being able to provide them with bigger rooms to play in, for having to go to work instead of staying with Sam and Isaac.

He apologized because he can't control the rage that keeps building. The jealousy. The borderline hatred of perps and circumstances and…his friends. He apologized because he hoped that by doing so, it'll make him okay. It will dilute some of his bitterness. When there is nothing left in him he simply lifts Isaac and lays him back in his bed, a kiss on his forehead before giving one to Sam as well. He exhaled and made his way back to his bedroom. His safety net with his wife.

He decided she was gorgeous in glasses, sitting up in bed a note pad over her lap as she slept with her head back, hands on her belly. He sat softly next to her as she continued to sleep. She was normally sly, faking her sleep when he'd come home. He smiled to himself; she loved to be made love to in the middle of the night, where she had just a little less control in a semi sleep stage. He tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear and stared at her face, looking at it as if it were art. He decided she was art.

He rubbed his thumb over the ring he'd given her. That she actually accepted from him. That symbolized their commitment to each other. He wondered if she knew just how much he loved to see that ring on her finger. If she knew that it floored him every time he thought about slipping it on her finger the night they were married.

He wondered if she would be upset with what he'd done tonight. Wondered if she'd kill him, think less of him for having done it. Somewhere in the deep abyss of himself, he already knew the answer. He thought he might loose her respect. He took a deep breath and decided he wouldn't tell her. That's the only way go about it. Keep it from his wife. Until he can't.

He leaned forward cupping her cheek and kissing the corner of her mouth gently, "I love you." He whispered.

She moaned coming into reality, opening her eyes and smiling softly, "Hi." She whispered and frowned, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. You're stunning in glasses." He smiled and kissed her again, "I love you."

She attempted to take the glasses off to which he held her hand, "No…leave them on, you're so beautiful."

"I love you too." She assured him searching his face and seeing the torment, "Rough case?"

He stared beyond her shoulder, "Yeah."

She tipped his chin up to her, "What can I do to help?"

Elliot closed his eyes and shook his head softly, "I don't know."

She tucked her legs under her and, even though it was an effort, she knelt on her knees and took his face into her hands kissing him tenderly, "Talk."

"I can't." he shook his head softly.

She ran slender fingers over his hairline, "Just talk…Viv says it's all about communication right? Is it the case? Something else? Me? Our boys?"

He touched her face with ginger fingertips as a tear slid silently down his cheek, "It's not you or our boys…it's me." He confessed looking down.

She cupped his face and forced him to look back up. She smiled compassionately at him, "What about you?"

He shook his head declining to talk. She pressed him, "El, it's okay to tell me…just like Viv said, start it out, "I feel" and add the rest…How do you feel?"

He rested his forehead on her shoulder, "Like…I'm…not a man."

She pulled back softly and brought him into focus, "Why would you say that? You're an amazing man." He closed his eyes against her words and gripped her hips for comfort.

"I'm not." He whispered with a voice that was almost dead, "I'm not Liv." He said again and buried his face into her neck. His safety net. His wife.

She bent her head, kissed his hair softly and pulled him back to look at her, "I'm going to show you how much of a man you are." She whispered kissing him gently, almost timidly at first until his hands slipped up her pajama shirt.

"Your not fat, Liv. Your gorgeous." He whispered against her.

"Shhh." She smiled softly and nuzzled his nose gently, "You don't have to say anything."

He kissed her back, soft, light and uncharacteristically unconfident for him. She removed her shirt, placed her hand over his as he started to loosen his tie, "Stop." She whispered, "Let me do the work." She informed him and slowly loosened his tie as she continued to explore his mouth. She unbuttoned his shirt with one hand, kept her other on his face as her nipples responded to his roaming hands. She felt her legs pool, but sensed he was having a little trouble. "It's okay." She whispered to him helping him to his feet so she could discard his pants and boxers.

She caressed him, warm hand against soft shaft as her mouth moved over his chest and neck, "You are such an incredible man." She whispered, "You're a special Man." She assured him and smiled softly as he tried to pull her panties down.

She covered his hands, "I said to let me do the work…lay down." She encouraged him.

He did so, but wasn't as bold as he usually was. He would have normally smiled at her laying flat on is back, erection dancing freely as he watched her. Waited for her. This time, however; he went immediately to his side, drew up his top leg to hide a soft erection, eyes anywhere but her. She spooned tightly with him and reached back to touch his face, "If you don't want to do this, it's okay…I can just lye with you." She whispered.

He kissed her shoulder softly and pulled her leg over his thigh. He could feel her wetness immediately. He was still soft, still less than who he was. Less than her lover or husband. Less of a man. She slowly and oh so seductively moved her hips into him. She reached up and placed one of his arms under her, letting his fingertips graze her breast, his other hand, she laced her fingers into, "Let me scream your name, Elliot…let me show you what you do to me."

He was trying everything in the book to get an erection. Something was wrong. He imagined Olivia's legs wrapped around him in the dressing room but the image of the dead little boy from this evening overtook it. He pictured his wife riding him to climax and still nothing. Touched her breast and there was no sensation strong enough to enable him to enter her. His frustration started to grow as he rubbed into her, and she into him. Her moans normally spurred him on, tonight, they made him feel inadequate. After several minutes he rested his head on her shoulder, exhaled in frustration, "Stop." He groaned, "I'm sorry."

She reached behind her touching his hip, "Don't be…it was a hard case, it's okay."

He sat up and shook his head, "No it's not!"

"Hey," her voice soothed him almost instantly, "come here, lay back down." She encouraged him, pulling softly on his bicep until he was face to face with her. "What is it?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do."

"Liv."

"I'm not trying to push you, Honey, I just need to know that you're okay."

"Why are you the only one that needs to know that? Why are you the only one that cares?" he blurted suddenly.

"What?" she furrowed her brows, "El, I'll always want to know if you're okay…why would you ask me that? People care about you…I care about you."

"It's nothing, I just…this is embarrassing, not being able to make love to you."

"Would you have wanted me to be embarrassed when my body wouldn't let me make love to you?" she asked, tracing his chest softly.

"Liv…no, absolutely not."

"Then?"

He exhaled and shook his head, "I'm sorry." He said sincerely then waggled his brows, "Want to try again?"

She laughed, "Yeah, but I'll try a different tactic."

"Oh yeah?" he grinned and was surprised when she straddled him. Her beautifully swollen abdomen just beyond his reach, "You're so beautiful."

She grinned and rolled her eyes, "I'm fat."

"I still like you." He chuckled and steeled almost immediately when she repositioned herself between his legs and took him into her mouth. She felt him growing almost instantly as he ran his hands through her hair. She worked him thoroughly until he begged her to stop.

"Come here." He panted gruffly and pulled her up to him helping her back onto her side and draping her leg over his thigh, "Tell me when?" he asked rubbing his erection into her. She laced her fingers with his and consented.

He entered her and to his mortification came instantly, "Damnit!" he barked and immediately withdrew himself and his touch, "I'm sorry." He shook his head looking down to find he'd already gone limp, "Damnit Liv, I'm so sorry." He said again grabbing for boxers and throwing them on before leaving the room as quickly as possible.

She rolled to her back and covered her face with her hand realizing what she'd said before all of this started, _I'm going to show you how much of a man you are_.

_Good job, Liv_. She scolded herself and quickly threw on a shirt and panties before leaving the comfort of the bed. She heard the sliding glass door opening and closing as she walked down the hall. His defeated frame visible in pale moonlight. Slowly, she walked out onto the deck and closed the door only half way behind her so she could keep an ear out for the boys.

He hung his head low as he gripped the railing. His back was so tense it seemed as if his muscles had permanently locked up on him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his back tenderly before resting her cheek against the warmth of his flesh, "I love you." She whispered.

He chuckled bitterly, "Sometimes I think you're the only one that does, Liv."

She furrowed her brow, resting her chin into his back as she held him tighter, "That's not true, but if it were…would my love be enough?"

"It is enough." He responded covering her hands with his and holding her arms tight over his chest, "I love you."

"I know you do." She whispered and kissed his back again, "What's wrong?"

"Were you not there?" He asked sharply, letting go of her hands and shaking his head, "I obviously couldn't get it up and when I did…I performed like some horny twelve year old."

"Stop." She commanded gently and turned him to face her, "Of course I was there El…I'm not upset about it, I'm flattered that I could make you loose control that quickly," she smiled playfully, and cupped his face, "I love you so much, but what is it that is eating at you?"

He narrowed his vision at her and touched her belly softly, "How are they?"

"You and Sam are two of a kind, you know that?" She grinned covering his hand on her belly, "They're great, I read to them this evening and I think they're gonna be big Dr. Seuss fan…but, please don't change the subject."

He wrapped one hand around her waist, resting it on the small of her back. He caressed the back of her head with his other hand and rested his temple against hers, "Dance with me, Liv?"

She chuckled and hooked her fingers in his boxers, "We're in our underwear."

"You're wearing my dress shirt." He responded softly and pressed his cheek into hers, "Please?"

Olivia wrapped her arms around him and pulled him as close as possible to her swollen belly, "There's no music." She whispered kissing the corner of his mouth but following his lead as they swayed gently.

"We've always had our own." He whispered back as they danced to silence, he in his boxers, she in her panties and shirt, "I love you." He whispered again holding her tighter.

She wished she could read his mind. Wished she could know what was happening in his mind. But she would have to wait this out. She exhaled, buried her face in his neck and enjoyed the embrace of her husband.

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Two weeks and zero orgasms later she found herself sitting next to Elliot for the second time in Viv's office. She almost hoped Viv would delve into finances first. She knows by the slight smirk of her lips that that isn't going to be the case.

"Crappy two weeks?" Viv asked peering over her glasses much like Munch would have. That sarcastic, knowing, smirk. Olivia missed Munch.

"Not really." Olivia shifted in her seat.

"Yes it was." Elliot muttered folding his arms across his chest, "May as well just tell the truth, Olivia."

Olivia arched her brows and looked at him, "She asked _me_ if _I_ had a crappy two weeks, _I_ said no…I wasn't speaking for you, El, so stop." She shook her head and looked back at Viv.

"You two are pretty wound up." Viv suggested the obvious.

Olivia exhaled and rested her temple on the tip of her fingers, "I'm actually pretty happy, but seeing him so bent out of shape,"

"I'm not bent out of shape." He snapped.

"Let her finish." Viv smiled softly with a small hand gesture.

"Forget it." Olivia shook her head, "It wasn't important."

"If you were going to say it," Viv smiled adjusting her glasses, "It must have been important."

Olivia turned her face from the councilor and shook her head, "I've nothing to say."

"Sure you do." Elliot smirked, "You always do."

She arched her brows in shock and hurt, "What's with the jabs, El?"

"It's not a jab."

"Like hell its not." She quipped, "You've been snapping at me and critical and sarcastic for the past two weeks!" she turned more squarely in her seat, "What did I do? I wanted you to talk to me…that was all…I told you, it didn't bother me. I thought we were good that night. Why are you being such a…such a…such a…" she growled in frustration, "Oh, I don't even know!"

"Of course you know." He said snidely, "You always know."

Olivia jerked in her seat and looked at the councilor, "Did you see that?" she asked in anger and turned back to Elliot, "What the hell did I do to you?" she pleaded then lowered her voice, "Tell me…I'll fix it." She whispered reaching out to take his hand.

He pulled back sharply and stood walking to the window, "You didn't do anything!" he growled.

Viv exhaled and looked at Olivia as she tried to hold back tears. This was a fighting style that Olivia wasn't accustomed to from him. They've always had arguments here and there, every couple does. Some of theirs were bigger than other, but never had he acted this way to her.

"Look at your wife, Elliot." Viv said softly.

He shook his head softly and folded his arms, "I can't."

"You should," Viv encouraged, "You'll see a very beautiful thing happening right now."

Elliot turned around to see the silent tears trekking down her face. "How can you say that her hurting is beautiful?"

Viv shrugged, "In order to feel hurt…you've got to feel like you've got something to hurt over…something to loose."

"I didn't mean…I don't mean," He exhaled, "I haven't meant to hurt her."

Viv tilted her head, "Don't tell me that…tell Olivia." When Elliot didn't move immediately, Viv chuckled, "Well, you could start by sitting next to her."

He sat slowly and dared to look at Olivia. Shame overrode him seeing the hurt in her eyes, "I'm so sorry Olivia." He whispered reaching out to take her hand.

"It's okay." She said softly, relieved to feel his palm against hers, "It's okay."

"Is it?" Viv asked leaning back in her chair.

"Yes." Olivia shook her head, "I know he's been having a little trouble dealing with a case, and he's got mandatory overtime on Tuesdays and Thursdays now…he's exhausted."

"So," Viv shrugged her shoulders, "His exhaustion gives him the green light to treat you badly?"

Olivia furrowed her brow, "I don't think he meant to."

"I didn't." Elliot chimed in softly and absently rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, "I didn't mean to give you a hard time the past two weeks Liv…I was being a complete jerk, I'm so sorry."

"Let me ask you two something." Viv cut in before Olivia could respond.

"What?" Olivia whispered, still looking at Elliot.

"Do you two normally settle things this way? Outline for me how a typical disagreement happens between the two of you." She nodded to Olivia, "You first Olivia."

"It's hard to say…we don't fight about the trash or laundry or empty gas tanks and I think that's because we've had more serious things to contend with and in some respects, I'm glad we don't care about the small stuff, I'm glad that we don't disagree much."

"But-" Viv encouraged.

"But," Olivia exhaled, "we're so stubborn and we lo-"

"Hold on." Viv interjected, "I want you to tell me using only 'I' statements…speak only for yourself, Okay?"

Olivia agreed, "Okay…I am so stubborn and I love Elliot so much that when I'm upset with something, I don't want to tell him because I know he hurts for me."

"So, what do you do with the pain, if you don't let it out?"

"I carry it with me until I can't anymore or until we're about ready to clash, then it comes out in waves."

"How does it feel to be able to talk to Elliot?"

"It's always good."

"Tell him." Viv corrected, "Not me."

Olivia turned to her husband and tightened her hand around his, "I love being able to talk to you…I like that we're able to."

"Elliot," Viv smiled at him, "When Olivia confides in you…how does that make you feel?"

"Delirious." He smiled faintly.

"Huh?" Olivia asked looking at him, "I make you sick?"

"Hold on." Viv interjected, "Elliot, you need to tell your wife how you feel first."

He surprised both women by adjusting his chair and then pulling Olivia's chair so that they looked at one another, "I'm absolutely delirious when you confide in me, Liv."

She shook her head "I make you dizzy?" she asked looking back at Viv for guidance.

"Explain what you mean to her."

Elliot smiled softly and cupped her face gently, "Yeah, you make me dizzy…but it's always a happy dizzy. Every time you tell me something that you don't necessarily want to talk about…it shows me how much you've grown and are learning to open up and trust and love, so, yeah…you make me dizzy."

Olivia smiled, "But in a good way."

"Always." Elliot whispered kissing the back of her hand, "I'm sorry for the past weeks, Liv…please forgive me."

She exhaled, "Do you believe that it didn't bother me?" She asked looking at him, gauging his eyes for truth.

"Hold on." Liv interjected, "What happened to bring on this disagreement?"

Elliot's face fell realizing he was going to have to admit his inadequacies in front of a stranger. He wished he would have just gone to a normal shrink. Olivia cupped his face in her hand and rested her forehead against his, "It's okay, I'm right here."

He kissed her forehead softly and looked at Viv, "I couldn't…uh…you know, I-"

"Couldn't make love to her?"

Elliot looked away and released Olivia's hand only to feel her take his back into her grasp, a gentle squeeze as he started to speak, "No," he whispered hoarsely, "I couldn't."

"Tell him how that made you feel Olivia,"

"I already have."

"Tell him again." Viv encouraged.

"I understand it El. We have the same job, we've had a lot of stuff on our plate, Sam just came home…I understand that you were stressed out and it really didn't bother me. I know you love me, I know you want me. I just don't understand where the anger is coming from."

"Can you tell her, Elliot?"

"How can I tell her something I don't understand myself?"

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Elliot walked out of the restroom with wet hands, "No paper towels." He smiled sheepishly as Olivia stood from her seat and walked out of the office with him.

"Stick your hands in your pockets and wipe." She informed him walking to the car.

He did and smiled, "You're sneaky."

"Just creative." She said dryly.

He stopped her, pulling her softly back to him, "Liv-"

"El," she shook her head, "We don't have to talk about it anymore…I think the last hour was hard on both of us."

"I want to tell you something." He whispered drawing her closer to him.

"What?" She sniffled. The session truly had been hard on them both. The last two weeks had been hard on them both.

"I love you…so much. I'm sorry I did this to you."

Her eyes darted straight to his lips. She needed to hear him say it outside of Viv's guidance; she needed to hear him say it without a prompt. She kissed him softly, her hands on his chest as he sought her out deeper and more passionately than he'd done in the last two weeks. She broke the kiss and smiled, "Alex called…told me to take my husband to dinner."

"Sam okay with that?" Elliot asked softly as he tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear.

"I talked to him on the phone, he was a little worried about having to use the restroom, since we were only gonna be gone for the hour, but I think he knows how to work around the stitches, and he's only got one more day of them…we've only got one more day of stitches." She said touching her chest softly.

"Did he seem any better?" He asked covering her hand on her chest as if he were willing away the scar that he knew would be left behind.

Olivia exhaled, "Mags has been nice enough to do the last two sessions at the house, but…he's quiet again."

"I'm sorry I added to your stress."

"No more apologizing." She whispered and kissed him again, smiling when she broke away "Isaac took his pamper off again, this morning, and ran through the house yelling 'wee-wee'. Good job, El." She teased him for teaching their son the new 'word'.

"Mission accomplished." He smiled against her cheek again, "I really do love you."

"I really do know it." She smiled then jumped slightly when the babies kicked.

"Whoa," Elliot grinned placing his hands on her belly, "I felt that, he kicked so hard that I felt it!"

Olivia laughed, "She could be a good soccer player."

"He could be a football kicker, they could be pro athletes." He smiled and rubbed her belly, "You're a gorgeous pregnant woman."

"I'm a fat, hungry woman." She chuckled and turned away.

"Hey," he pulled her back, "don't do that…don't deflect my compliment…I really mean it. I'm not saying it to get out of the dog house…I just…you're gorgeous."

She looked up at him and surprised herself when she blushed, "Thank you…I think I needed to hear that from you."

He caressed her cheek, "I'm sorry I don't say it more."

"You say it all the time." She grinned, "I just…well, lets face it, I'm almost twice as big as I was with Isaac at this time and then, the things that the girls are doing to my body aren't exactly sexy."

"I love everything about your body." He grinned slipping his hand just under her shirt.

"El!" she laughed, "we're standing in the parking lot of our marriage councilor's office."

"We could give her free advertisement." He grinned "Convince people that her techniques really work?" He suggested skimming his hand further up her shirt.

"Pot stickers." She laughed out loud taking his hand away.

"What?"

"Pot stickers…what do you say we have pot stickers tonight?" she grinned as he laced his hand with hers and led her to the SUV.

"Pot stickers sound good." He chuckled then pulled her close to him, she was surprised to feel the beginnings of an erection against her.

"Well, that's a little different attitude." She smiled.

"You like my attitude?" He whispered looking at her with a smirk.

Breathless, she managed a, "Yeah, but you got to stop."

"Why?" he smiled.

"You heard what Viv said for our homework."

Elliot smacked his lips, "She didn't even read the homework we gave her…I think we should bypass today's assignment, and you should let me have you right here in the SUV."

She chuckled, "I think we should follow the assignment."

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"I didn't think you'd want to be on the beach." Elliot smiled holding a sac of take out in one hand, her hand in the other.

"Why?"

"You're always talking about feeling like a beached whale…I just assumed-" he smiled playfully.

"You're too romantic." She chuckled and spread out one of Isaac's baby blankets from the SUV on the ground, "It's quiet here, no one's around…I thought we could just have some alone time together." She smiled as he helped her sit, "I think we could both use it." He sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her as they watched the sun give way to a pink sky. "That's beautiful," she murmured.

He kissed her shoulder softly, "Not nearly as beautiful as you, but, yeah, it's okay."

She grinned and reached back to touch his face, "I'm glad we're going to Viv." She confessed softly, "I don't know how long it would have taken for us to of hashed this one out."

"We would have." He whispered, "I really like you." He grinned sliding his hand under her shirt and resting it on her belly, "I like that you made me a daddy four times in less than three years."

She grinned and leaned back, relaxing against him, "I aim to please."

He kissed the top of her head and they remained in comfortable silence until the sun disappeared and his hand shifted slightly.

"Coppin' a feel?" she teased softly.

He chuckled at being caught, "No…okay, yeah." He confessed and ran his fingertip over her bra covered nipple, "How can someone resist someone so stunning."

"Our homework, El." She tried to remind him as his tongue started to caress her neck, "No intimate touching for six days."

He smiled, "But oh that seventh day." He whispered and gently ground his erection into her backside.

"Again, huh?" she teased reaching back and caressing him, "I like this." She whispered, "I like that you still want me; that something in this session must have worked for you."

His voice hitched at her touch as his other hand joined its mate on her breast, massaging softly and rolling the beads of flesh until she whimpered. "I got something out of it, yeah."

"El," she groaned as he nipped at her, "El…homework…focus."

"I am focused." He assured her, lowering his hands to her jeans and unbuckling them with a grin, "I'm completely focused on making up for lost time." He assured her dipping his hand into her panties as she groaned and arched back into him, "El…this…we're not suppose to be doing this."

"Maybe she'll send us to detention." He smiled grazing his fingertip over her core. She hissed and clutched his thighs. He smiled at her reaction, "I can think of all sort of things we can do to each other in detention."

"El," She panted as he continued to move over her. She tossed her head back, drew her knees up for him and moaned. Tonight, that precious moan spurred him on. He brought her into ecstasy right there on the beach as the waves lapped at the shoreline. He wasn't so sure her breathing was going to regulate she'd come so frantically. He was really hoping the echo didn't carry so far. There was definitely an echo. Ego stroke.

She turned as carefully as an overly pregnant woman could and kneeled in front of him, she'd wanted him so badly in the last weeks but never once pushed him to make love to her, just as he had never done to her. But here, with his look of complete hunger and pure desire for her; she had no defenses.

She couldn't tell you how their pants got off, she couldn't tell you what made her quiver first, his hand tangled in her hair or the moment he entered her with a sexy confidence only he could posses. She couldn't tell you who moaned first but she could tell you that he was moving inside of her, slowly and methodically, her husband's hands were on her body, his lips on the back of her neck as they spooned on the small blanket. For a moment she thought it odd to be making love on her son's blanket but, only for a moment.

He gripped the flesh of her thigh causing her to cry out. He came explosively, his hot groan over her cheek. She didn't even care that she hadn't come with him inside of her, and just as if he'd read her mind he reached over and grazed her core. Her scream was almost primal, and if he could have, he would have taken her again after hearing it.

She could tell you that he'd been most gentle with her helping her back into her shirt and pants, tender kisses that had her moaning and wanting more of him, planted in the most strategic locations. She could tell you that when his arms embraced her and she leaned back into him she was happy, in spite of the last two weeks. She was happy for him, because of him.

In quietness, as he let her body calm, her after sex shaking stop; he opened the sac of food, "You've got to be hungry after that." He whispered, "Every time I think I've got you to yell your loudest…you surprise me."

She chuckled and turned away letting her blush take over her face, "You didn't exactly take a vow of silence there, yourself."

"I did…you just made me break it." He teased then sighed looking for a place to set the dipping sauce, "They didn't give us plates, and it's gonna get sand in it…maybe we should pick up the boys and go home to eat?"

"No." She whispered, "I want you to myself, for just awhile longer. Give me the sauce?" She asked and then surprised him when she set the small cup of sauce on her overgrown belly, "Instant table." She smiled and enjoyed the company of her husband, enjoyed his arms around her, his lips occasionally on her neck his laughter in her ear.

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"Mama!" Isaac squealed running down the hall of Alex's house and crashing into her legs with a nudging hug as if he was trying to sweep her off of her feet. If only he knew he'd done that the minute he was born.

"Hey, Monkey." She grinned picking him up, "I missed you." He laughed and kissed her cheek fast before squirming to get down.

"So you're a love'em and leave'em kind of guy, huh?" Olivia teased.

"He's a character." Alex laughed, "Keeps me on my toes."

"What did he do?" Olivia asked in sheer enjoyment.

"Well, it all started when he took his pamper off and tried to out run me…we locked our selves out of the house…but Sam saved us." She smiled and hugged Olivia whispering in her ear, "Definitely sporting a glow there, Olivia." She teased and went to hug Elliot but was surprised when he dodged her.

"Speaking of Sam," Elliot said nonchalantly, "Where is the little guy?"

"Sleeping. He isn't really talking much these days, again, huh?"

"No." Olivia exhaled, "He okay for you though?"

"Absolutely, we all had banana pancakes." Alex laughed, "Thai style…Isaac went nuts over it."

"Thai style?" Olivia tilted her head, "There's such a thing?"

"Oh yeah." Alex smiled then grinned when Robert walked in and kissed her affectionately on the cheek, "Hi." Alex laughed when he tickled her side.

"Hi." He smiled and then turned to hug Olivia before offering his hand to Elliot who seemed not to care one way or another but offered a weak handshake just the same.

"Mama!" Isaac chirped again holding his arms out to her, "Up, up." He called. Elliot watched as Olivia picked up their son and held him. Isaac still hadn't recognized Elliot as his father and it was killing him.

"El?" Olivia smiled and rubbed his bicep bringing him back into the conversation, "You okay?"

Elliot offered a fake grin, a sincere kiss on the corner of her mouth before running his palm over Isaac's back, "I'm gonna go get Sam." He told her before stepping away.

"I have some work to do, Alex, I'll leave you two to your own devices." He joked, "Good seeing you, Olivia."

"You too."

"What's wrong?" Alex asked in a hush as soon as Robert was out of ear shot.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked taking a seat on the couch, her son already sound asleep against her.

"Elliot, is what I mean. What's going on with him? He okay? He's been so distant the past month."

Olivia exhaled, then tilted her head "Month? I caught the last two weeks but, you think month?"

"Yeah, we hadn't said anything but he seems really…like he'd rather not talk to us sometimes…did we do something?"

"I don't think so." Olivia shook her head, "El, he's…he's got a lot on his plate right now, he and I had a rough two weeks, I think he's doing better now…I'm sorry he's made you feel that way."

Alex smiled softly, "Don't worry. We we're just worried about you two. Thought maybe we offended you or something."

"Na." Olivia shook her head, "If I was angry with you, do you think I'd trust you with my boys? They're precious cargo."

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"Sam?" Elliot called to him as he opened the door of the guest bedroom to see the youngster simply sitting on the edge of the bed. Head bowed.

"Sam? You okay, Son?" Elliot asked sitting next to him.

"Not so much." Sam whispered back.

"Are you hurting?"

"My heart does." Sam sniffled and rested against the strength of Elliot.

"Tell me why, Son." Elliot whispered.

"Because I'm still here." Sam exhaled, "I don't understand why God wont listen to me…He always listened before."

"What were you talking to him about?"

"That He would take me home to be with Him so that nothing would happen to Isaac and so you and Mom's hearts would stop hurting." He told him before exhaling, "He's ignoring me…Mom says it's rude to ignore people."

Elliot smiled softly and kissed the crown of Sam's head, "Maybe you should ask God to change your heart…I'm certain He'll respond to you."

Sam exhaled, "Me and God…we're not on talking right now."

Elliot's eyes widened, "Sam, Your mom and I love you so much. It would break our hearts to never see you again."

"My heart would break if I couldn't hear you and Mom too." He whispered, "Cause I really love you guys a whole bunch."

"Then you've got to believe in us…just like we believe in you." Elliot told him holding him tightly.

"Dad," Sam groaned softly, "Dad…I can't breathe."

"Sorry." Elliot chuckled through tears and relaxed his grip but still held him against his body, "I love you so much, Samuel."

"Why are you crying Daddy?" Sam asked when he felt the moisture from Elliot's face.

Elliot sniffled and buried his nose in the blond hair of his son that smelled so much like Olivia, "I'm scared, Son."

"Daddy's can be scared?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," Elliot whispered not knowing that Olivia was just about to enter the room and had decided to stop in the hall. She'd heard his confession and turned back around giving them their privacy.

"What are you scared of?" Sam asked.

Elliot exhaled, "I'm not sure, Son. I'm just…scared." He whispered and kissed his son, "I'm scared of loosing you, or Isaac or the boys or your Mom…especially your Mom, I'm so scared."

"Mom says if I don't want to loose anything…I have to put stuff back where I got it, maybe you should do that."

Elliot laughed softly, "And where would I put your mother or your brothers? They're people not things."

Sam shrugged, "God?"

Elliot arched his brows and finally got the message loud and clear from the little boy in front of him. "You should take your own advice, Preacher." Elliot teased running his fingers through his hair.

Sam frowned, "No. We're not talking anymore."

"Sam," Elliot kneeled in front of him, "Feel my face, Son. I want you to feel how serious I am."

Sam put his hands on Elliot's face and smiled, "Real serious."

"Yeah." Elliot agreed, "Because I want to tell you that…God is talking to you everyday, every minute. He talks to you when Tripod makes your heart smile, when your Mother holds you, when I wrestle with you, when Isaac plays with you. He talks to you through the wind on your face, the air in your breathers and the flowers you can smell. And sometimes…He talks to us when He doesn't answer us. When His answer is 'No'." Elliot assured him, "He's talking to you Son…you just aren't listening with your right ears."

"Which ears do I use? I only have these?" Sam said tugging on his ear lobes.

Elliot lowered the little boys' hands and placed them over his small chest above his heat, "Use this one, Son…you'll hear Him."

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Olivia slipped into bed next to Elliot and yawned snuggling up to him, "Long day." She muttered into his chest.

"Tell me about it." He whispered back, "Sam is still upset."

"I know." She exhaled, "It frustrates me that we can't get through to him."

"Me too…he's still asking God to let him die."

Olivia sniffled and quickly wiped a fallen tear, "I know…I heard your conversation…a little bit of it."

"I don't know what to do." Elliot whispered, "I don't know how to fix him."

"Either do I."

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Olivia woke immediately to the sound coming from the kitchen. She moved at lightening speed once the sound registered in her mind. "Sam!" she barked running down the hall in panties and a camisole. She stopped when she saw him freeze in front of the kitchen drawer that would have normally contained the knives.

"What are you looking for, Baby?" she asked softly as she closed the drawer in front of him. She took noticed that others were open, he was searching.

"Nothing." He whispered.

"You were looking for something to hurt your self weren't you?" she asked softly and brushed the hair from his face.

"No."

"Then can you tell me why, only the drawers that use to have silverware in it are open?"

"I don't know." He whispered bowing his head, "Can you tell me where all the silverware went?" he quipped.

She tilted his head back up, "Don't bow your head to me Baby. And don't disrespect me, Son." she cautioned him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

She exhaled, "I forgive you," she whispered and kissed his forehead squeezing his hands in hers, "Tell me the truth, were you looking for a knife? Were you going to try and hurt yourself tonight?"

He remained quiet for several seconds before he started to sob and reached for her. She wrapped her arms around him and rocked him gently on the kitchen floor, "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you, Sam…tell me what I just said."

"You love me." He choked and coughed.

"You're gonna have to be your own hero on this baby…I can love you with all my heart but you've got to make a decision to believe me." She told him softly, "It would break my heart if you were never with me again."

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Baby?"

"Dad says God talks to me when you hold me…what's He saying right now?"

"Why don't you ask him?" She whispered, "You like to talk to God."

"Were not talking to each other right now." He informed her.

Olivia ran her finger through long blond hair that would be cut tomorrow and smiled sadly, "He's saying that you are his pride and joy. He's saying that he made you just so others would have a reason to smile. He say's that you're one of the greatest things to happen to me and your Daddy…He says that He's sad you stopped talking to him."

"He said that?" Sam asked stunned.

She smiled, "I Think that's what I heard, yeah."

"I only stopped talking 'cause he stopped listening." Sam protested, "I didn't mean to make Him sad."

"Sam," she exhaled, "I use to think God wasn't talking to me."

"How did you fix it?"

"I realized I was the one not talking to Him." She whispered and kissed his forehead, "You've got to talk to Him if you're gonna get better…He's listening to you. Just because He isn't answering your prayer the way you want it…doesn't mean he's not listening. In fact, do you want to know something cool that I found out about you? I've been saving it up." She smiled nuzzling his nose with hers.

"What?" he giggled at her caress.

"Samuel…your name means, 'God hears.' There's no way around it son. God is listening to you."

Sam grinned, "That's what my name means?"

Olivia smiled down at him, "Would I lie to you?"

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"Captain Cragen, you got a minute?" Warner asked stepping into his office and closing the door, "Cause if you don't your gonna have to make one."

Don smiled up at her, "I've always loved your demeanor."

"Thank you." She smiled and took a seat.

"What brings you by?"

"Well," Melinda exhaled, and handed him a file, "Take a look at these two DNA profiles and tell me what you think."

"I'm not a medical examiner."

"No!" Melinda responded sarcastically, "Just…take a look and tell me what you can based off of experience."

"Is this official?"

"No…and yes…just look."

Cragen exhaled and entertained her request holding both DNA profiles up and looking at them, "Well I think even a rookie ME could go out on a limb and say these were a match."

"They are." Melinda exhaled and sat back waiting for the next question.

"Okay…so…you want to tell me why you've brought this to my attention? Who's DNA am I holding here?"

"The one on you're right is an infant named, Dustin, the one on the left is his father Nick."

"And this means what to me? Exactly?" he asked reaching for a Red Vine and chewing on it as she composed her bomb shell.

"The surname to these two is…Ganzner."

Cragen looked up sharply, "Excuse me?"

"The profile belongs to Nick Ganzne and his son Dustin Ganzner, he had Down's Syndrome."

"Okay," Cragen leaned back, "so, where I can I find this infant?"

"In my morgue. Refrigeration unit A8. Originally identified as Isaac Stabler."

"What?" Cragen stopped chewing on the candy immediately, "What are you telling me Doctor?"

Melinda exhaled, "I'm telling you that Nick Ganzner wasn't the stupid person we all thought he was. I'm telling you that this whole fiasco was planned from day one. He killed his own son Captain."

Cragen exhaled, "But what's the motive? Say he did kill his son…why?"

"To break Olivia and Elliot."

"Okay. I don't follow your line of thought, how does killing his son, break them?"

She stood and paced the office, "Picture this," she told him as she continued to pace, "Nick is so obsessed with Olivia that he'll do anything to torment her because he knows he can't have her…he kidnapped her son, ruined another woman's life…placed his own son in the burned out vehicle so that she would think his son was Isaac…you following what I'm saying now?"

"Elliot went to that grave every week." Cragen whispered when realization dawned on him, "Normally it would be the mother doing something like that…that's the ultimate revenge. To have your victims mourn a child they think is theirs but is actually the perps…he knew they would visit the grave, that a connection would be made and that if Olivia ever found out…she would never forget him as long as she lived." He exhaled, "What a sick psycho."

Melinda scratched her brow, "When are we telling the Stabler's?"

Cragen shook his head and reached for the phone,"Now."


	32. Chapter 32 Consequence

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 32 Consequences.

She wouldn't let him out of her sight after last night. He'd asked her where the silverware was at least five or six times. She refused to tell him that anything that could cut or do damage was now stowed away on the top shelf of the cupboard over the stove. Well out of his reach. Olivia opened her eyes against the gentleness of the morning sun and peered down at Sam who slept in the embrace of his father. She smiled at the sight having never seen it before. Truly this was something beautiful, Sam's trust in Elliot. Elliot's love for his son. She grinned and slipped stealthily out of the bed retrieving the digital camera from the office and taking the picture.

She was going to offer a morning kiss to Elliot when the door bell rang. She furrowed her brow and looked at the alarm clock; it was only eight in the morning. Olivia slipped on her robe and cleared her throat when she got to the door, "Who-who is it?" she asked sleepily.

"It's Don." Cragen called back.

Olivia furrowed her brow and opened the door, "Captain?" she smiled gently then frowned when she saw Melinda walking up the porch stairs, "What's wrong? Something go bad on Elliot's case last night?"

"No." Cragen said softly.

"Was he supposed to be at work this morning? He said you cut him loose after paperwork because of the case."

"It's nothing to do with Elliot's case." Don exhaled and smiled softly, "You gonna invite me in or watch an old bald man burn in the New York sun?"

"I'm sorry." She shook her head, "Please, come in." she said widening the door and allowing them to enter, "What brings you by this early?" She asked, "Coffee?"

"No thanks." They both responded.

Olivia turned around and stared at them with suspicion, "Alright, what's up? You both look like your ready to drop a bomb."

"Is Elliot awake?" Cragen asked clearing his throat in nervousness.

Olivia narrowed her brows at both of them, "I was letting him sleep in, I have to take Sam to the doctor at ten and he was gonna stay home with Isaac… should I wake him for this?"

Cragen shook his head softly indicating she should. She nodded almost imperceptibly in understanding and went to wake him.

"Hey," She whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek softly, "El, wake up the Cap is here."

"I'm off today." He groaned and pulled Sam closer, "You're loosing weight." He mumbled into Sam's neck.

Olivia grinned at his sleepy confusion, "That's not me your huggin' so I wouldn't start any questionable behavior."

Elliot opened his eyes and peered down at Sam who rested peacefully in his arms, "Oh, wow." Elliot whispered, "I…how did he climb on the bed?"

"I brought him to bed with us; I'll explain later…the cap and Melinda are here." She told him again.

"Melinda?" Elliot furrowed his brow and adjusted Sam so he could stand, "Something wrong with my case?"

"No…but they want to talk to both of us." She exhaled and pulled the blanket over Sam's body.

"They say what for?" Elliot asked slipping on a pair of shorts as Olivia slipped into her own clothing.

"No…but I don't think it's good."

"How so?"

"He has that, 'I'm gonna hurt you and I don't want to' look…like when he talks to victims." She whispered and finger combed her hair pulling it up into a sloppy but cute ponytail.

In moments they were sitting on the couch across from Cragen and Melinda, "Who died?" Elliot smirked in an effort to break the ice.

Cragen and Melinda shot each other a look and Cragen took the lead, "You…we all agreed we would never keep anything from you about Isaac's case." Cragen paused letting the fact that their meeting today was about their son's case.

"Don't." Olivia whispered shaking her head slowly, "Please don't, not now."

"Olivia," Cragen tried to sooth her.

"Don't you dare tell me that he's not really my son. He is. He is so much his father and me-"

"He's your son." Melinda interjected and reached out to touch her arm soothingly, "There's no question about that."

Olivia closed her eyes and exhaled, feeling Elliot's arm around her, "Why are you here?" Elliot asked.

"We're you aware that Ganzner, had a child?" Melinda asked the two.

"Yes." Elliot nodded, "But according to Adrianne, Nick and his wife killed the baby."

"So he could have your's." Cragen said softly.

"We know that." Olivia furrowed her brow in confusion, "Did you think we forgot? I don't understand."

"Look, there's no easy way to say this…the baby that they buried, in Isaac's casket is…Nick Ganzner's baby boy, Dustin Ganzner."

Olivia reached for Elliot's hand letting the information set in, "What are you telling us, Cap?" Olivia whispered holding back emotion.

"We mourned his baby." Elliot said as soon as he pieced it together. He shook his head in unbelief, "He had us mourn his baby. While he held ours. " He said it again, "That sick prick…he knew there'd be a funeral…that Olivia and I would go visit our son…he knew." Elliot stood to his feet pacing frantically in his anger, "Every damn week!" he growled, "I went to my son's grave because I thought it was Isaac and your sitting her telling me it was Ganzner's kid?" he asked in a borderline fury.

Olivia stood to her feet and closed the distance between them. She placed her hand on his tense jaw, kissed him softly and rested her forehead against his, "I know this is rough. This really hurts." She swallowed and blinked out a tear, "But, we have Isaac…does it matter who was in the grave just as long as it wasn't Isaac?"

"I told him things." Elliot whispered back to her, his voice full of pain and emotion that she wished she could absorb so he didn't have to carry it, "When I visited him, I told him so much and… it wasn't him." He shook his head and held Olivia's waist tight against him, "This isn't right Liv."

"I know." She whispered, "But, we're strong, we have our son's home. We'll get through it." She assured him and gently led him back to the couch they were sitting on.

"I hope this isn't over stepping my boundaries," Cragen started in again almost in shock at the tenderness that these two possessed with one another, "But, I called a couple of people about the laws and so forth, a check for burial expenses will be issued to you and an apology from the city, not that it helps."

"What do you mean a check?" Olivia asked softly, "What's happening?"

"Well, you have two choices, you can keep the plot or the city will reimburse you since you bought the plot with the understanding that your son was indeed the deceased. It's all very technical but if you want-"

"What about Dustin?" Elliot whispered leaning back on the sofa, exhaustion inscribed on his body. Olivia didn't know if it was possible to loose weight over night but he looked it.

"Huh?" Melinda let the word fall out before she could edit it, "Well, um, since there's no family the remains will be cremated and buried in a communal grave, its common practice."

"He had no family at all?" Olivia asked in shock, "None?"

"None," Cragen answered, "We did an extensive search, DMV, FBI and nothing."

"We'll bury him." Elliot whispered slowly.

"Excuse me?" Olivia snapped her head over to him, "What?"

He sat up and looked at her, "Liv, we can't just let him be thrown in some whole…it's not right…he and Isaac we're so innocent in all of this, yet they've both suffered. Dustin to the most extreme degree."

"El-" Olivia shook her head not sure she could allow them to do this as a couple.

"Adrianne took care of our son, because he was innocent…we've got to do this Olivia, this is our thank you…we've got to protect Dustin…let him rest in peace, finally…just rest." He told her softly as he held her hand, "We don't even have to visit him, but as parents…if it were Isaac in Dustin's place, I would hope someone had enough compassion to give him a proper burial."

"El," she shook her head and pawed at her tears, "I don't ever want to think about the cemetery again, and I don't want Ganzner's son having our son's name on his grave…I don't think I can do that."

Elliot turned to Cragen, "We don't need the reimbursement if you can make a different grave marker, Isaac isn't dead and we don't want his name as a marker for Ganzner's kid."

"I'm sure they'll do that." Cragen shook his head softly, "But…is that okay with the both of you?"

Elliot turned to Olivia and cupped her face, "I promise you…we'll never have to even speak about it after this morning, we never have to go or even wonder about the grave, but…Liv, he's just a baby, just like ours…we're parents we can't turn our back on him."

Olivia absorbed the information and after several seconds shook her head softly in agreement.

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"Is it going to hurt me mom?" Sam asked softly as he and his mother took seats in the waiting room of the hospital.

"It shouldn't." Olivia assured him, "It might sting a bit, but getting your stitches out shouldn't hurt."

"Oh." He exhaled, "How come Isaac and Dad aren't here?"

Olivia laughed, "Because your father is probably chasing Isaac down the hallway of the house trying to get him to keep his clothes on."

"Why does he always do that?" Sam tilted his head, "It's not good for him to be naked in front of people, what if a bad man see's him?"

Olivia swallowed hard and rested her head against his, "You know we never let him go out of the house without clothes, Honey…he's okay, running around in his pamper, it's summer time right now and he's at the house not in public…does it bother you?"

"No." Sam shrugged, "I just don't want anyone to hurt him."

She smiled and kissed his forehead, "Such a big brother."

He grinned up at her and chuckled then suddenly steeled when he heard a nurse calling their names.

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Elliot walked along the soft shoulder of the road, Isaac held snuggly against his chest as they made their way through the shade the large trees offered, "So, your mother flat out slaps the back of this perps head," Elliot chuckled speaking to Isaac who simply looked at him, "You should have heard it Son, she nailed him."

Isaac raised his hand and pawed at Elliot's nose as Elliot continued to walk, "Then there was the time she pieced together this case that had us completely stumped, she went back thirty years! It was amazing." Elliot whispered running his hand over the blond hair of his son, "Not nearly as amazing as you though." Elliot kissed Isaac's forehead to which a small squeal of delight was heard. Elliot laughed, "You like that don't you?" Isaac smiled at Elliot's voice and slapped happily at Elliot's broad chest.

"I think I fell in love with your mother the first time she walked into the bull pen…there was this hungriness she had in her eyes…you've got it too, Son." Elliot assured him and exhaled when Isaac stared blankly back at him, Elliot frowned, "You don't like me do you?" Elliot whispered looking down at the young boy, "You know Sam's name, and you know who your mother is, but…you don't really care for me do you?" he asked stroking the toddlers hair, "I hope you'll love me one day, Son…I hope you'll know I'm your Daddy…can you say Daddy?" he asked nuzzling Isaac's nose, letting his stubble tickle him, and hearing Isaac's squeal release into the air.

"Nuze!" Isaac laughed swatting Elliot's nose and laughing.

"Yep…mine is a monster isn't it?" Elliot chuckled turning back to the house with his son still held close to him, "What's your name, huh? Your mother said you know it…can you tell me?" Elliot smiled against him, "What's your name, Son?" he asked pointing to the toddler's chest.

Isaac beamed and slapped his swollen belly, "Saac!"

Elliot laughed and kissed his cheek softly, "Yep…that's you, Rookie." Elliot assured him and then pointed to his own chest, "I'm Dada…can you call me that?"

Isaac steeled and looked at him in confusion, "No, no." Isaac shook his head, "No Dada." He said pushing Elliot's face away with pudgy hands, "No Dada."

Elliot furrowed his brow and pointed at his chest again, "Dada." He chocked, "Please, Son. You have to know that." Elliot whispered stopping dead in his tracks.

Isaac squirmed to be let down, "No, no…no Dada." He shook his head and began to cry turning in Elliot's arms and reaching away for him as if there was someone else there to take the young boy.

"Hey," Elliot tried to sooth him, but Isaac wanted nothing to do with it. He squirmed and cried until his tiny sneakers hit the hard packed dirt. He bolted down the dirt road crushing Elliot's heart. His own son was running from him.

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"I don't want to do this, Mom." Sam told her as he sat on the examination table and they waited for the doctor to come in.

"Baby," Olivia perched herself next to him and kissed his head as she wrapped an arm around him, "I don't think it will hurt."

"But what if it does?" he asked squeezing her arms and hiding his face into her neck, "Please don't leave me, Mom."

"I'm not going anywhere Sweet Pea." She assured him, "Come on let's get into these funky gowns, huh?"

"Mom." Sam shook his head, "I'm really scared."

Before she could assure him any further the doctor had already showed up. Olivia stared wide eyed at the male doctor, "Who are you?" She asked trying to remain calm for Sam's benefit.

"I'm Dr. Bowen, Sam's pediatrician is in surgery right now, the other Doctor's are assisting so I'm here to help you two out…I understand we're removing stitches today?" The Doctor smiled at Sam whose nails dug deep into Olivia, "This will be simple stuff, Sam." The Doctor assured him.

Sam buried his face into his mother's chest. She winced slightly feeling the pressure against her own wound. "I can't let you do this." Olivia told the doctor.

"Excuse me?" He tilted his head, "is something the matter?"

"My son doesn't really care for males…they make him nervous." She explained nodding her head down to Sam who was crying hard into her chest.

"I'm sorry." The doctor exhaled, "The only people we have on staff that can do this…we're all males…the stitches are in such a delicate place that they won't allow a nurse or practitioner to perform the procedure." He explained, "I can…reschedule you, but we're pretty booked up right now."

Olivia exhaled and tilted Sam's face up to hers, "You're so handsome." She whispered and kissed his forehead softly, "Can you calm down for me, please?" she asked softly.

He pawed at his tears and hiccupped trying to calm himself as she stroked his back, "Sam…remember how you father and I taught you not to be scared of the water?"

"Yeah." He whispered, "Sometimes I still am… but I like it now, I swim without you and Dad helping me…but I still like you close to me." He explained.

"Well, what if I told you that I'm gonna be right here with you?" she asked and motioned for the doctor to stand beside her.

"What if he hurts me, Mom?" Sam asked kicking his feet softly from the examination table.

"Remember I told you we wouldn't let anyone around you that would hurt you?"

"But you did." He blurted, "The boogieman hurt me and then, why are you still friends with my Daddy?" he started to cry again and tried to get himself off of the table, moaning at the pain he felt.

She held him tightly against her, "That's not fair Sam." She whispered, "That wasn't fair at all…..it took us a while to understand what you meant by the boogieman and Honey….George isn't your father….we've tried to tell you but you won't talk to us….how can we assure you if you refuse to talk to us?" she asked softly and kissed his forehead, "He's not gonna hurt you, he has gentle hands." She explained.

"How do you know, Mom?" He asked balling her shirt into his fists.

"Feel my face, Baby." She whispered taking his hand and placing it on her face.

She unbuttoned the top buttons to her blouse, "The doctor is going to put his hand right on my owie and I want you to feel my face…I want you to feel that it doesn't hurt me for him to touch me." She explained.

She nodded to the doctor who seemed a little confused but let her set the pace. He touched her wound gently and surprised both boys when she took Sam's hand and covered the doctor's with it. "What does my face tell you, Baby?" she asked gently.

"You're okay." Sam whispered.

"That's right, I'm fine…you'll be fine too." She exhaled and lowered his hands as the doctor made his way back to the sink in the small room. "Would it help you….if the doctor took my stitches out first?"

Sam shook his head, "Yeah…I don't want to be first, 'cause I might cry and then you might get scared. I think you're tougher than me, Mom so it will be better if you go first." He explained.

"Okay." She smiled and simply removed her shirt and wrapped the gown around her middle covering scars that were still visible.

"Okay." The doctor smiled, "Go ahead and lay back and well get the show on the road."

"Here, Son." Olivia adjusted him so he lay closely wrapped in her arms, "Put your hands on my face….you'll feel it honey, this isn't gonna hurt." She assured him. The doctor started his work and Olivia made sure not to so much as flinch no matter how much it stung, and it did sting.

"Have you called Crystal?" Olivia asked softly showing him that this was no big deal.

"Shh, Mom." He whispered and kissed her forehead, "its okay, I got you."

She smiled against his hands, "Good to know, Son….I'm a little scared too." In reality she wasn't but if conquering a pseudo fear would help him conquer his real fear, she would do it.

"Last one." The doctor smiled down at Olivia and made a quick snip before pulling the suture out, "All good." He smiled, "Would you like a candy Mrs. Stabler?" he teased her but more for Sam's benefit.

"Ah," Olivia smiled, "Whatchya got?"

"Ice cream?" Sam asked quickly.

The doctor laughed and reached into his pocket, "Sort of…it's Baskin Robin's flavored candy…taste just like the real thing and since your Mom did so well, I can give her one…if you do well I can give you one…want to try?" The doctor asked preparing fresh gloves and suture packet.

Sam tapped his fingers on the examination table hearing the rustling of a candy wrapper as Olivia put it into her mouth, "Wow," She smiled, "Cookies and Cream." She told him and blew softly over his face, "Tastes pretty good, I think you should try for it, Baby." She told him.

Sam exhaled and chewed his bottom lip, "I have allowance money…maybe we could skip this and just buy some?" he asked.

"I don't know what store." Olivia told him knowing he was trying to get out of this. She didn't blame him.

"What store did you buy the candy from, Mister?" Sam asked cocking his head to the doctor's body.

The doctor followed Olivia's lead, "I bought the last bag…I try to keep a good stock, I'm the only person that has them, that I know of." He exhaled and opened the door, "Well, maybe next time, huh Sam?"

"Wait!" Sam said quickly, "We should talk about this."

Olivia smiled at his sentence.

"What do I have to do for the candy?" Sam asked.

"You have to let me take your stitches out." The doctor said softly.

"Mom," Sam turned to her, "How many stitches do I have?"

"Twenty Eight, I had twenty two and he took them out really fast." She assured him.

Sam mulled the situation over and manipulated his fingers as he thought, "I want fourteen candies if you take my stitches out." Sam said.

Olivia went to interject with his greedy request when the doctor held up his hand.

"Eight." The doctor said.

"Let's go, Mom." Sam said resolutely.

"Okay, ten." The doctor offered not wanting the little boy to leave without the procedure being performed.

"Thirteen." Sam whispered in response.

"Eleven; final offer." The doctor raised his brow and smiled.

"Twelve….my final offer, take it or leave it." Sam folded his arms. Olivia made a mental note to ask him who he's been learning this dialogue from. Robert came to mind.

"Twelve it is." The doctor agreed, "Go ahead and lean back."

"I want to touch them first." Sam chirped.

The doctor grinned, "You're a pretty savvy little boy."

"Savvy?" he furrowed his brow and leaned into his mother as the doctor dug into his coat, "Is he Jack Sparrow/"

Olivia laughed, "No, baby, but put your hands out and count them."

He did so and took a deep breath, "Okay….deal." he whispered and slowly slipped off of the table, "Can you help me mom?"

Olivia had to hold back tears. This was a tremendous step for him, "Yeah." She whispered and helped him out of his shorts and boxers, "Up ya go." She said softly and laid him on the table. He instantly locked his ankles and started to panic, "Shhh." She soothed him gently, "its okay, I'm right here."

"Dad's upset." He whispered to her holding her hand fiercely as the doctor explained he would take the stitches out just under his belly button first.

Olivia furrowed her brow knowing he was trying to disassociate himself from this situation but he'd never just made something up, "What do you mean, Honey?"

"I heard him last night." Sam said jumping slightly when the doctor made his first snip. He took in a breath and let it go as she rubbed his stomach softly.

"What did you hear?" Olivia asked.

"He comes into our room sometimes and he holds us 'cause he thinks we're sleeping." Sam informed her. "Dad puts Isaac in my bed and holds us and Tripod." He jumped again as the doctor clipped the last suture of the first wound and explained that he was moving to the second one. Sam exhaled.

"Your daddy comes in a hold you at night?"

"He cries with us in his arms."

Olivia furrowed her brows at this revelation, "What does he cry about?" she asked softly but before she could get an answer the doctor informed them he'd be moving to Sam's shaft.

"Honey." Olivia stroked his hair, "He's gonna touch you where you don't like to be touched, but he has gentle hands and I'm right here….how do you feel about it?"

"Really scared…really scared." He repeated softly, "I don't think the candies are really important." He whispered.

Olivia hiked herself up on the table behind him, "Lean back and relax, Honey." She whispered and wrapped her arms around him, "Just relax, I'm right here, want to say a prayer?"

"We're still not talking." Sam shook his head and exhaled, "okay."

Olivia thanked God that the doctor was fast, concise and gentle, talking to Sam about Garfield and Spongebob then capitalizing on Sam's Jack Sparrow question and offering a perfect impersonation to which a tiny smile crept over his face. "All done, Sam." The doctor smiled, "Wasn't that bad huh?"

"Candy?" he asked quickly.

"Go a head and get dressed and I'll leave them with your mother." He smiled, "You both healed well, have a nice day." He smiled and left the room.

Sam stood on the examination table and gripped Olivia's shoulders, "Clothes Mom." He said quickly, "Hurry."

"Rephrase." She told him softly holding his clothes in his hand.

He groaned, "Sorry…can you please help me?"

"Certainly." She smiled and helped him into his shorts, "I'm very round of you, Baby." She smiled and pulled him close caressing the back of his head and holding him, "I'm so proud of you." She whispered again.

He jumped back suddenly and Olivia smiled.

"What was that?" Sam furrowed his brow and cautiously sat down, "why did you hit me?"

"I didn't." Olivia laughed and placed his hand over her belly, "Your sisters are kicking."

Sam's brows shot up, his mouth a perfect 'O' as he brought his other hand to her belly as well, "That's my brother and sister?"

Olivia smiled, "Yeah….can you feel them?"

He grinned, "Yeah yeah…wow!" he moved his hands gently over her belly, "wow."

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"Wee wee." Isaac laughed holding his pamper out to Elliot.

"What is it with you insisting on being naked?" Elliot laughed void of playfulness. He loved his son but it killed him to entertain him when Isaac couldn't relate to Elliot as his father.

Isaac tossed the diaper in Elliot's lap and bolted down the hall. Running and laughing as if he hadn't of inadvertently ripped Elliot's heart out of his chest just an hour ago. Elliot gave him a head start and then went after him, "If your mom sees you naked I'm dead young man." He laughed scooping him up and tossing him into the air as the toddler laughed.

"Too late." Olivia smiled with Sam asleep in her arms, "I don't think he likes pampers anymore." She chuckled and motioned to Sam who was weighting heavy in her arms, "I'll trade you."

Elliot produced a fake smile and took Sam into his arms kissing his cheek softly and passing Isaac to her, "Yeah." He lied and simply walked away to put Sam to bed. She grabbed his bicep softly before he could leave, forcing him to look at her.

"You okay?" She asked searching his face.

"Fine." He whispered kissing Sam's head to mask the tightness in his lips. At least Sam considered him as father.

"You're lying to me." Olivia whispered and bent her neck to kiss his shoulder, "Whenever you're ready to talk." She informed him before taking a very squirrelly toddler to the bathroom for a bath.

"Since you're already a naked boy, may as well throw you in the bath, huh?" Olivia chuckled and watched as her young son tried with all of his little might to get into the bathtub on his own. "Don't you think some water would be good first?" she asked picking him up and running the water to luke warm before putting him back in, "Look what I found." Olivia grinned and produced a yellow rubber duck and handed it to him.

"He's very happy about that rubber ducky." Elliot interjected softly, "Where did you find it?"

Olivia smiled up at Elliot and motioned for him to kneel beside her, he did so and handed her the baby shampoo as she wet Isaac's hair with a cascade of water from a small cup, "I picked it up today after Sam got his stitches out, Wal-Mart – two bucks." She winked at Elliot and laughed as Isaac slapped his hands in the water splashing them both.

"MaMa!" Isaac laughed and pointed at her.

"Yep." Olivia grinned like a newly risen sun, bright and warm. Isaac pointed at Elliot and frowned, "No Dada."

Elliot tried with all that he had to smile but nothing came over his face except misery. Olivia saw it instantly, "El…he doesn't understand." She told him softly.

"It's okay." Elliot whispered hoarsely before kissing her head and standing to leave, head bowed, spirit crushed.

She looked down at her son who smiled up at her innocently. She should have been the one to kill Ganzner, not some rookie uniform. She finished his bath and had to practically pry him out of the water as his little fingers held fast to the wash rag bar on the tub. "I know you love it," she giggled in his ear, "but any longer and I'll have a California raisin for a son." She laughed and wrapped him in a towel to which he snuggled into immediately, "You like that, huh?" She smiled holding him close as she walked him to his room.

She stopped as Elliot walked out of the office with an evidence box in hand, "What's up?" Olivia asked motioning to the box.

"It's some of the files on Isaac's case…I figured we didn't need them in the house, I was gonna put them in the shed open up some room in the office, I'm gonna have a pretty big case load and you need work space too since you're picking up the paperwork and…"

She knew he was rambling so he wouldn't shatter since he was already breaking. He motioned back to the room, "There are more boxes so I'll get to th-"

She hooked her free hand around his neck and pulled him down to her lips, it was delicate enough to let him know she saw his pain, passionate enough to let him know she was strong enough now to walk through it with him. She separated and rested her forehead against his as Isaac rested his hands on their cheeks looking curiously at the space between their lips. "What was that for?" Elliot whispered wishing the box was between them so he could hold her close to him.

"Tell me, El." She whispered, "Tell me if you need to go to an A.A. meeting, we'll put the kids in the car, I'll drive you and wait…all you have to do is tell me and it's done." She whispered.

He smiled down at her softly, "I'm okay."

She smiled sadly and exhaled softly, "I hope that you'll tell me what it is that's got you this weighed down." She told him rubbing his shoulder, "You're in knots."

He kissed her lips softly and patted Isaac's back, "You should get him dried, the air conditioner is on, he'll catch a cold." He told her as he turned to leave. She reached out and touched him to bring him back to her.

"Liv…" He shook his head keeping his back to her, "Please?" His voice broke and in those two syllables she heard more pain than she'd heard from him in a long time." She let go and took their son to the room as Elliot walked outside to the shed.

"Shhh, Isaac, your brother is sleeping." Olivia whispered.

"Sam Sam!" Isaac squealed reaching his hands out to Sam's sleeping form.

"Well," Olivia laughed, "I see that 'quiet' isn't in your vocabulary yet, huh?" she chuckled but was thankful that Sam remained asleep. He'd had a long day and needed his rest.

She squirmed around as she put a pamper on him. He simply un-strapped the pamper and giggled. "Oh, a funny boy." Olivia smiled; Fact of the matter was he was a funny boy. She refastened the strap and turned to gather up his pajamas, it had taken all of fifteen seconds but when she returned her gaze to his bed he was gone, the pamper still very much there.

"Bye bye." He giggled from the door.

She turned to see him waving completely naked at her as he darted down the hall. She laughed taking off after him but just as she turned the corner she saw Isaac surprise Elliot who was carrying a stack of files. He collided with his father and both landed on their back. Isaac laughing, Elliot moaning. Files and crime scene photos strewn about as Isaac stood and flopped himself onto Elliot's chest.

Elliot groaned and grinned, "This isn't rugby, Son."

Isaac sat naked on his father's abdomen as Elliot remained on his back, picking his son up at his rest and holding him over him. Olivia watched the interaction with a smile on her face. Smiling because Elliot was genuinely smiling and grinning for the first time in weeks.

Isaac peered down at his father as Elliot held him in the air just above him, he giggled and then pointed down, near Elliot's face, "Dada!" he squealed and pointed, "Dada!" he kicked his feet down and giggled.

Elliot grinned and pointed to himself, "Yeah, I'm Dada!"

Isaac stared blankly at him and pointed, "Dada!"

Elliot looked at Olivia in confusion. When he saw her face pale, he followed her line of sight and his son's point. He lowered Isaac to the grown and turned over to kneel and look at what Isaac was pointing to. Isaac smiled and laughed innocently as Olivia kneeled down with the group and let out a gasp at the photo enlargement her son held in his hand.

Before she could take hold of it Isaac moved and sat on Elliot's thighs. Elliot looked down at the photo and Olivia watched the wind get knocked out of him as he stared over his son's naked shoulder at the most recent mug shot of Nick Ganzner, taken just before he was shot and killed. "Dada!" Isaac smiled up at Elliot as he pointed to the picture. Insult to injury.

Elliot felt the vomit rise in his throat, the rage surface in a heart beat and the feeling of being a failure suddenly get validated, "Take him." Elliot whispered hoarsely and slid Isaac to Olivia.

"Elliot." She whispered compassionately as Isaac continued to paw at the picture, "El, he doesn't know any better…remember what Adrianne said… he doesn't know."

Elliot bowed his head and walked away. She looked back at their son as the front door opened and closed, the sound of the SUV starting and backing out quickly. "Hey," Olivia forced a bright tone, "Can I have this?" she asked Isaac as she gently pulled the picture out of his hand and quickly picked him up, "I think you need some sleep, huh?" She smiled sadly, "Let's go get a diaper and put you down."

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"Casey!" Olivia grinned in relief, "Thank God, everyone else was busy."

"Nice to know I was your number one pick." Casey smiled softly, "What's wrong? Why did you need someone so bad?"

"I can't find Elliot." Olivia exhaled moving quickly for keys and her wallet, "He, um….I don't know, he's uh…" she exhaled in frustration, "Damn him!" she hissed running her hand through her hair.

Casey rested her hand on Olivia's shoulder and took her into a hug, "It'll be okay."

"He's been gone for hours." Olivia whispered, "It's Friday night…all sorts of psycho's are out right now." She exhaled, "I'm worried about him…he won't pick up his phone."

"Okay." Casey released her softly and smiled, knowing Olivia wasn't worried about psychos, she was worried about Elliot wondering into a bar, "I'll stay with the boys, but please tell Sam, I don't want him to be scared when he wakes up and you aren't here."

Olivia smiled wiping her tears, "I already did, thanks Casey I know you probably had better things to do then baby-sit on a Friday night."

"Well, I was planning on having some pretty incredible sex with my husband," Casey smiled, "But I can do that anytime besides, I think Paul needs to be with Addison, for some alone time."

"They doing better?" Olivia asked opening the front door.

"Yeah, they are." Casey grinned, "And Elliot is gonna be just fine."

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She slammed her palms against the steering wheel of the Mustang, the frustration overriding her emotion, "Damnit Elliot!" She yelled into the empty car, "Where are you?" She rested her forehead against the steering wheel and cried silently. She'd stopped at every bar she knew of in hopes of finding him and came up empty handed without so much as a sighting. She leaned her head back and looked at the ceiling of the car…and then it dawned on her.

She rummaged frantically for her cell phone and dialed, hearing a very irritated and sleepy Casey answer the phone, "Casey?"

"Unfortunately." Casey groaned, "Your son just woke me up with his pamper in his hand."

Olivia smiled, "I'll explain later, look I'm sorry for waking you but I need you to go into our office and look in the second drawer of the filing cabinet."

Casey yawned and Olivia could hear what sounded like Isaac running through the house, "He's really awake, huh?"

"And naked, what's that all about?"

Olivia let out a small chuckle, "I have no idea."

"Okay, what am I looking for?" Casey asked clearing the sleep from her throat.

"It's a folder marked SUV CRAP."

"Nice filing system." Casey teased.

"That's Elliot's doing, not mine…you find it."

"Yep…what do you need?"

"I need the phone number for the OnStar service." Olivia asked, "Find it yet."

"It's the middle of the night; you'll have to give me a few extra seconds to process the info- Oh! Found it!" Casey said and Olivia heard the grin in her voice. She read the number to Olivia who wrote it on her naked thigh unable to find paper in the car. "Thanks Casey, I promise to make this up to you."

"Just bring home your husband…and a fat coffee for me." She paused, "Hey I didn't mean bring your husband home for me, I just-"

Olivia rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Night Casey."

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Olivia hung up the phone with the OnStar company. She smiled to herself that all it took was a little finessing and a little cop talk to get the representative to place a GPS tracking on the SUV and tell her where it was. Although, where it was, confused Olivia more than not being able to find Elliot.

She pulled into the empty parking lot and spotted the SUV instantly, although there was no one inside. It didn't look as if anything had gone bad, unless of course you count the fact that she couldn't find her husband. She walked along the grassy knoll and down the side walk looking here and there for several minutes until she heard uncontrollable sobbing.

She scanned the darkened area back and forth and it dawned on her that she knew where she was, Elliot had taken her to a little league game at this ball park when she was only three months pregnant with Isaac. She knew he was trying to get her to keep her focus on the joys of having a child instead of the demons she might be passing on.

Uncomfortably, and very carefully, she squatted low and squeezed through the gate that was chained loosely. She listened carefully for the sobs that ripped through the air and on the next beat she turned quickly making out his form sitting on the bleachers. Face in hands, shoulder's rising and falling with each sob. As she got closer she made out the bottle of alcohol in front of him.

She approached him gently, watched as his leg bounced frantically up and down. She looked at the bottle and saw that it was open but it didn't seem to be missing any liquid. Thank God. She'd found him in time. If he would have fallen off the wagon she would have left the house, not him, but the house. Then again, he'd never understand that. She knew in this moment that if she left the house, he would break, if she took their kids and left, even to spare them from having to see him drink, he would shatter and never recover.

She sat slowly, straddling the bench and resting her hand on his nervous leg, her other on his tense back, "Hey," she said softly and was surprised when he took hold of her and buried his face into her neck.

"No more, Liv." He broke and cried even harder, "No more, I'm… not strong enough."

She wrapped her arms tightly around him, "Yes you are. You're the strongest man I know." She whispered into his ear.

"I can't take anymore." He confessed still holding on, "It's too much."

She pulled him away gently and looked at him, "He's home with us now, El…no more worrying, no more wondering what's happening to him, or if people are feeding him, he's with us."

"He doesn't know me." Elliot growled scrubbing his moist face with his hands, "He doesn't know me."

"He does." Olivia assured him, "He just doesn't know it yet…he'll learn, he's just so confused right now, his little mind doesn't understand how to process what's happened to him."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, Liv."

"I know it doesn't…when he called Adrianne, Mom…I thought I would die right there."

Elliot exhaled and shook his head, "It has to get better then this Liv…or I won't make it."

She cupped his face, "You will make it because I'm right here with you. You fall and I'll help you up, cry and I'll hold you but,… you can't walk away from me, I was so worried for you tonight, do you know that?" she asked searching his face.

He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against hers, his hand laced with hers, "I know." He whispered.

She exhaled and held his face gently to look at her, "Did you drink tonight?"

"The bottle is full."

"I know that bottle is full…I'm asking if you drank tonight and don't lie to me I'll see right through it." She told him softly surprising even herself with the tenderness that she spoke with. The original plans was to crème him and tell him what a jerk he was for going back to the bottle but when she saw his torment she allowed a different plan to unfold before her. Love. Compassion and understanding. Don't misunderstand, she still wasn't about to tolerate a drunk.

Elliot hooked his hand around her neck, his eyes focusing on her lips then her eyes and back as he leaned closer. She pulled back slightly bracing herself for the taste of alcohol. He startled at her withdraw and looked at her, a million words and explanations explained. Trust requested. She went back to his lips and kissed him timidly his tongue grazing her lips, gaining her trust for this one specific encounter. She parted her lips allowing him to prove to her that he hadn't had any alcohol.

She had never been more thankful for the taste of butterscotch candy in his mouth. She'd never been more thankful and relieved for the taste of him as she was in that moment. So much in fact, she cupped the base of his head and deepened the kiss thanking him for keeping his promise to her. To their children.

She broke the kiss for oxygen and looked at him with a sheepish smile, "I believe you."

"I opened it and I was going to take a drink and then I thought of you leaving the house again," he shook his head and look forward, "I wouldn't be able to survive that. Not now."

She exhaled softly and slowly took the bottle into her hand inverting it and watching the stream fall to the ground. When it was done she simply placed it back in its position and looked back at him, "You're gonna make it through whatever it is that has you upset," she whispered kissing the corner of his mouth, "You're gonna make it through and you'll be stronger."

"Sometimes I don't think I'll make it Liv." He confessed wiping his tears with the palm of his hands, "Like I'll fall."

She grabbed his wrists gently and lowered them, "If you fall," she whispered as her thumb and fingertips absorbed the moisture of his tears. She kissed his lips tenderly again and whispered into his ear as she embraced him, "Then I'll carry you."

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She kept watch over her sleeping husband as she sat in the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room. Casey seemed to have piled the boys on the sofa bed with her, all three of them crashing. Olivia found it enduring that her friends really did treat her son's as if they were family. They were family.

Casey had woken when the front door opened and the alarm chirped. She'd asked if she could take the boys off of her hands in the morning so they could join her and Paul and Addison at the playground before it got to hot to do anything. In the current situation Olivia happily agreed knowing that she and Elliot were going to be making a few appointments when they woke up and he wasn't going to have a choice.

Olivia sipped a cup of ice tea and listened to Elliot's steady breathing before she realized what was happening she had dozed off only to feel small hands shaking her awake, "Mom, I'm confused, how come you're not in bed?"

Olivia smiled at Sam and whispered, "I could ask you the same thing, Son."

"I couldn't sleep." He confessed, "Is your owie better?"

"It is, how is your's?"

"Better." He whispered following her lead, "Did I wake you up Mom?"

"No, I was sitting here watching your father sleep."

He chuckled softly, "You watch Dad sleep?"

"Yeah." Olivia smiled sadly, "Tonight I do."

"Could you…maybe…not watch him and come and talk to me?" he asked tilting his head to the side.

She furrowed her brow, "You okay?"

"I called Mags today…she said I could call her at anytime." He finished quickly, "So I'm not in trouble, 'cause she said I could…right?"

"Right." Olivia smiled softly, "What did Mag's say?"

"I asked her about George…I asked her if what you said was true and…she said I have to ask you." He exhaled, "So… is it true Mom? Are you friends with Daddy Wilson?"

Olivia took his hand into hers and stood, "Come on, let's go get this sorted out, huh?"

Sam agreed and in a span of five minutes found himself lying in his own bed next to his mother with a saucer of Oreo cookies in between them, "Do you really believe that I could be friends with you're daddy Wilson after he hurt you so much? My heart wouldn't allow it." She told him rubbing his belly with her hand.

"But, then…why did you make me go to daddy Wilson? I didn't like it and it scared me so much."

Olivia tucked his long hair back, "I didn't know that was why you disliked George, I thought that it was hurting you to talk about it and that's why you didn't like to go."

"I like Mags." Sam whispered, "But not Daddy Wilson…why did he change his name?"

"Baby," she whispered his name as she looked down at his innocence, "George Huang is not your daddy Wilson, he's not. I promise you."

Sam furrowed his brow, "But he smells like him."

"Alex and Robert smell like each other…are they one person?"

"No," Sam shook his head, "Robert is too big to be Alex and she's too girly to be Robert."

Olivia smiled then continued, "Do you believe me now?"

"He sounds like Daddy Wilson and when I first heard his voice…Mom, I wanted to run far, far away and never come back."

She kissed him softly on his cheek, "I'm so glad you didn't."

"He clicks his pen like Daddy Wilson does…so fast, it makes my head hurt because I knew that when daddy Wilson clicked his pen super fast he was angry at me and I knew I was going to get a spanking. He always had a pen in his pocket just like George."

Olivia smiled, "Sam, George is a softy-"

"Like Odie Fish?"

"Well, yes and no." Olivia laughed, "George isn't afraid to show it…he's a softy Sam, he'd never ever hurt you."

"I thought…never mind." Exhaled and rubbed his hands forward and back through his hair. She decided that he did it enough to label it as a nervous habit or coping feature.

"What?" she whispered, "Tell me Son."

"I thought maybe…you and Dad we're tricking me into being your boy and then you were taking me back to Daddy Wilson so he could hurt me."

The sob fell from her mouth before she could stop it, "Never!" she told him in a loving firmness, "Oh, Son." She whispered pulling him close, "Never. When will you understand it? When will you know that we'll never hurt you?"

"Mom?" he said several minutes later after Olivia had gathered her composure.

"Right here." She sniffled.

He touched her heart and kissed her cheek just as she had his, "I think I know now."

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"No, here, don't waste your gas, take the SUV it's got a full tank it's the least we can do for helping us." Olivia told Paul as he held Addison and Isaac in his arms. He looked like he'd been slapped awake but it was still early on a Saturday and he did have to drive a distance to come and pick up Casey since she got stuck watching the boys for her. She was grateful for her friends.

"We wanted to take them with us anyway." Paul smiled, "But thank you it will be much easier to fit everyone, we can pick up our cars "

"Thank you guys so much." Olivia told them again before hugging Paul and then Casey, to which one of the baby's kicked.

"Hey," Casey looked down at Olivia's belly, "That hurt Little Miss."

"How do you know the baby is a girl, Case?" Paul asked with arched brows, "The babies are boys."

"Right." Casey rolled her eyes, "and I'm Condi Rice…they're girls, deal with it, you're gonna have to be strong for Elliot in the future." She teased and waved bye to Olivia.

"Sam!" Olivia called him suddenly, "Son, do you have your cane?"

"Mom!" He whined "I don't want to take it."

"Well then," She smiled and handed him a spare one from the hall closet, "It's a good thing I didn't ask what you wanted then, huh?"

Sam rolled his eyes under his glasses hoping she couldn't' see.

"And don't roll your eyes at me Mister." She scolded playfully giving him a kiss, "You don't have to use it but I want you to have it just in case you need it, understand?"

"Yeah." He groaned.

"Alright, I love you."

"Love you too." He grinned and took off as she gave Isaac a kiss good-bye, "Bye bye." Olivia waved at him and watched as he grinned back at her and then turned around to watch as Paul walked him down the porch. "Hey, Casey!" Olivia called from the porch as Casey was about to get into the car.

"Yeah?"

"Careful with Isaac…he's got a thing about his diaper."

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Olivia watched her husband still sound asleep. She didn't want to have to wake him up but if they we're gonna get through today they we're gonna need an early start. She tossed the cordless phone onto the bed and bent low kissing him softly on the shoulder then his neck, "Morning." She whispered over her lips before sipping softly from his bottom lip, her hand about his cheek, "Wake up, El." She smiled against him and decided on a more devious approach. She trailed her index finger along his chest and abdomen. She was just about to dip into his boxers when he stopped her.

"We already failed our homework once…don't you think we need to study a little harder." He asked in a gruff morning voice.

She smiled against his lips, "Thought you died on me."

He looked up at her and smiled, "No…I could never leave you."

"Come on, we got some stuff to do this morning."

"What time is it?"

"Nine thirty…get up." She smiled and pulled on his arm to get him out of the bed.

"Liv it's Saturday, there's a commandment about this."

"That's the Sabbath Stabler." She grinned and kissed him, "How are you feeling this morning?"

He rested his forehead against hers, and after a few seconds spoke, "I'm so lost I don't know what to do."

She exhaled softly and kissed his lips, "Come on, we're gonna be late."

"Where are we going?" he asked as she started pulling clothes out for him, "You already dressed and showered? Where are the boys?"

"Casey and Paul took the boys to the park with them and yes, I've been up for…awhile." She said sadly moving to the bathroom to start the shower water for him. As she started the water she felt him behind her, his hand on her shoulder.

"You stayed up all night so I wouldn't sneak out for a drink, didn't you?" he asked softly.

She turned slowly and looked at him, "Yeah, yeah I did."

He cupped her face and kissed her lips softly, "We're going to Viv today aren't we?"

She pressed her lips together, "I think it's for the best. I wan to see you happy and well, El…I don't know what's happening with you, but, Honey, I just want you well." She said sincerely then smiled sneakily, "That way we can find out all the interesting sex therapy."

He looked at her and very simply saw his life line. He kissed her delicately then deepened the kiss and nipped at her lower lip before separating and offering another kiss on the corner of her mouth, "Thank you."

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"I hate these things." Elliot whispered as they stood outside of the A.A. Meeting room.

"I know you do, but they help, right?" Olivia asked straightening his tie and running her fingers over his chest.

"Tactile." He whispered with a small smile.

"Huh?"

"Viv said no intimate touch for six days. We we're suppose to be practicing tactile touch on each other, but without touching us in our favorite spots."

"And?" she smirked.

"What if everywhere you touch me is my favorite spot?" he whispered and kissed her cheek before bowing his head and moving to open the door.

She stopped him instantly, "El," she whispered and tilted his head up, "Don't bow your head. You didn't take a drink. I'm proud of you. You need to be too." She told him, "I'm gonna go across the street and pick some things up, I'll meet you in an hour in the car okay?"

He smiled softly and kissed her again, "Okay."

True to her word she was in the car exactly one hour later when Elliot slipped into the passenger seat, "How'd it go in there?" She asked as she pulled the car from the curb.

He belted himself in and instantly took her hand into his resting his head on the head rest, "Brutal."

She squeezed his hand softly, "We can't cancel on Liv, it costs more on the weekends and we're running a little tight on the budget this month…can-"

He squeezed her hand back, "its okay Liv… lets do it. I owe it to you."

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Elliot paced in front of Viv, clearly irritated with the current situation, "I don't understand why my wife can't be in here, isn't this couples therapy?"

"Yep." Viv smiled up at him and leaned back in her chair, "The problem with you two is that you truly are a couple… focused on not hurting or embarrassing the other, supporting them and such… that's all good and everything but it's hell getting you two to open up when your both in the same room." She exhaled, "I just want you one on one for thirty minutes and then I'll grill her for thirty minutes and then you two can be in the same room."

Elliot continued to pace rubbing the back of his neck, "I'd like my wife in here."

"Why?"

He snapped, "Because she's my wife!"

Viv smiled, "Take a seat Elliot, I assure you, I've been doing this for years and you both need to talk about some stuff without the other in the room. See, people have this notion that you tell your spouse every little thing, the reality is that there are things you don't, say for instance, you would never tell Olivia that you imagine another woman while you make love to her."

Elliot pointed angrily at Viv, "I have never done that to my wife!"

Viv smiled, "I'm not saying you have, calm down." She soothed, "What has you this wound up? Let's start there."

Elliot exhaled and remained silent.

"Okay, well what would you like to tell me?"

As if he wasn't already broken he broke more. He shook his head frantically trying to keep the emotion in, "I…Love my…wife, so much." He inhaled deeply and let it go.

"That's very apparent." Viv replied softly, "But-"

Elliot stared at the floor and wiped at his tears, "I'm so…jealous of her."

Intriguing. "How so?"

Elliot smiled as he looked toward the window, the warm sunlight stretching to bath his face, "My son's love her so much. She walks into the house and they are all over her."

"And that makes you feel?"

Elliot smiled softly at the older woman, "Like the luckiest man in the world…but then…I wonder why they don't love me the way they love her, you know? When Sam is hurt he calls for his mom, when Isaac is confused he calls for her," Elliot looked away and whispered almost to himself, "But, they never ask for me…I'm their father and they don't ask for me."

"So, what I'm hearing you say is that you're jealous of your wife because you feel that you're sons love her more than you."

Elliot shook his head, "No, I didn't say that, I said I'm jealous of her, because they love her."

"And they don't love you?" She asked softly.

Elliot leaned back, defeated, "You'd never know it, although…this morning I woke up and I had the most precious nine year old in my arms." He smiled at the memory and looked at her with tears in his eyes, "My wife put him in the bed with us, normally he curls up to her but, for some reason he curled up to me."

"How did that make you feel?"

Elliot grinned, "I don't think I felt anything, I was to busy marveling."

Viv chuckled softly, "Kids, especially from what you've told me about your sons, they take awhile to come around but when they do…its absolute bliss."

"I love them so much, you know?" he whispered and shook his head still not comprehending how he became the bad guy when three four years ago he and Olivia were the center of each other's world.

"How's the sex life?" Viv changed gears sensing he needed a break.

Elliot grinned, "She's amazing."

"She satisfies you?" Viv asked with a small shrug as if this were a standard conversation. Although he assumed in her line of work, it was.

Elliot paused for a split second and answered, "Yeah for the most part."

"Most part?" Viv raised a brow.

"Well..I think that came out wrong." He shifted uncomfortable in his seat, "She really is an amazing lover, no one compares to her she knows me like the back of her hand, you know?"

Viv sat back in her chair and approached the question again, "On a scale of one to ten with one being the least, how much does she satisfy you?"

Elliot shrugged, "I don't know, nine…point…eight." He smiled and turned away blushing softly.

"What's with the blush, Elliot?" she asked in curiosity.

"I just don't like talking about my wife like that to people, seems wrong."

Viv chuckled, "I'm willing to bet she knows we're talking about her in here, it's a common thing. On that same scale, how would you rate yourself?"

Elliot shook his head and shrugged, "I don't know…a six or seven I guess."

"Why so low?"

Elliot exhaled, "I had a bad week."

Viv smiled in understanding, "Why not a ten for her?"

"Huh?"

"On the scale…why not a ten for her satisfying you?"

Elliot steeled immediately and looked at Viv with furrowed brows, "I can't answer that."

"This is a safe place Elliot, if you don't want her to know you told me just tell me, I can tread lightly."

Elliot shook his head, "No, you don't understand…Olivia hasn't…she needs to be the one to open up to you before I can talk to you about this."

Viv titled her head, "Was she abused?"

"I won't talk about her anymore." Elliot said firmly.

"Okay." Viv exhaled, "I can respect that, but I have one last question."

"Shoot."

"Do you spend time with just Olivia, set aside one evening, without the kids or problems? She mentioned last time that you have mandatory overtime, are you letting that interfere with your time with her as friend and lover?"

He furrowed his brows and stared at her, "I love my wife."

"I never said you didn't I asked if the mandatory overtime was keeping you away from her?"

He bowed his head and stared at the floor, "It's not really…it's not really mandatory OT."

"You've volunteered?"

"Not exactly. No."

"I'm confused."

"I don't…I'm not at work when I tell her I am."

Viv leaned back in her chair slightly shocked at his confession, "Is there something you're hiding from her?"

Elliot swallowed, "Yes."

"What is it?"

He shook his head," This conversation is done." He told her, standing to his feet and simply walking out of the office.

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Olivia squirmed in the chair trying to find a comfortable position, "I don't understand why my husband couldn't be here."

Viv chuckled, "You two are one of the most protective couples I have ever encountered."

Olivia smiled, "We're partners, we have each others back at work and at home…otherwise, we don't make it."

"I see." Viv smiled and looked at Olivia with nothing particular in mind.

After too much silence Olivia cleared her throat, "Um…shouldn't you ask me something?"

"Well," Viv pondered leaning back in her chair and turning slightly from left to right, "I was gonna take the same approach with you as I did your husband, but I think I might have wound him up pretty tight on some questions." She said setting the foundation for a delicate conversation.

"Oh." Olivia shook her head, "Well, that definitely makes me not want to be alone with you."

Viv smiled, "How's your sex life?" she started to try and get a feel for Olivia's temperament on the issue. It's one thing to be a cop dealing with sex, it's quite another to be a woman dealing with sex. The issues are completely different.

She grinned, "He's amazing." She whispered a bit surprised by her sudden shyness. She felt herself blush and so she turned her face away.

"You and your husband are so much alike." Viv assured her, "He said the same thing."

Olivia blushed harder, "Oh." She whispered and cleared her throat, "Um, that's good to know."

"On a scale of one through ten with one being the lowest, how does he satisfy you?"

Olivia grinned and let out a sob of laughter, "The man is off the charts."

Viv found herself blushing at Olivia's remark, "And on that same scale, how do you think you satisfy him?"

Olivia's smile fell, her head bowed in shame as she shifted in the seat, "Um, I don't…Uh, can you repeat the scale?"

"One to ten, one being the lowest."

"I don't know," Olivia shook her head, "Maybe…a five or six?"

"You asking me or telling me?" Viv asked.

"Did he tell you a number?" Olivia asked peering over the desk straining to see her notes.

"He did, but I want to hear what you think."

Olivia exhaled, "Um, probably," she thumbed her eyebrow and tucked her hair back, "I guess a five…point…five." She raised her brow and flopped back in the chair placing her hands on her belly, "I'm not so sure I'm great in the sac."

"What has he told you?"

"Doesn't matter," Olivia shrugged, "He's my husband, he's biased."

"What does he tell you?" Viv pressed further.

Olivia cleared her throat and looked down, "That…I'm amazing."

"Do you believe him?"

"I try to."

"But?"

"It's hard." Olivia whispered picking a spot on the carpet and starring at it.

"What is?"

"Believing him…believing that I satisfy him, in that way, with my body…with everything."

"What's everything?" Viv asked softly knowing that the stage had been set and Olivia was ready.

"Um," she shifted in her seat, "Wow…this is really an uncomfortable topic."

"I'm just a little old lady." Viv shrugged.

"This officially just made it even more unbearable." Olivia smirked.

"Can I ask you a question that your husband refused to answer about you?"

Olivia looked up, intrigued, "Sure." She agreed slowly.

"We're you sexually abused?"

Olivia felt the color drain from her face, her skin turn cold her nerves burn, "Um, I don't…I don't-"

"Take a few breaths for me." Viv said softly.

Olivia complied and still stumbled over her words, "I don't, uh…my son is…I'm sorry." Olivia shook her head, "Why couldn't my husband be in here with me again?"

"I want to see how you two respond away from each other, where there are no worries about hurting the other."

"And what if this question is hurting me?"

"Then maybe that's where we should start with you." Viv suggested softly, "Can you tell me if you were or weren't because I can assure you it will help in your sessions, it will help in the way you communicate to your husband, to your children and just about everything else you do."

Olivia pawed at a stray tear surprised that it fell; she really didn't think it was that much of an issue anymore. Then again she was great at masking. She furrowed her brow, "Y-yeah…yes, I was."

"Okay." Viv smiled softly, "Ever get help for it?"

"No." Olivia whispered softly.

"May I ask why?"

"I thought I would get over it…beat it on my own."

"Did you…beat it on your own?"

"I don't think so." Olivia shook her head.

"It still affects you?"

Olivia looked up slowly, "Profoundly."

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"Still pissed?" Viv asked Elliot as he sat down next to his wife.

He smiled sheepishly, "I wasn't angry I just…needed out."

Viv smiled, "I understand." She assured him and turned to Olivia, "You have a very loyal husband."

"I know." Olivia smiled reaching for his hand.

"Elliot," Viv adjusted her glasses, "Why don't you tell your wife why you wanted a drink. Let's start there."

He swallowed and turned waiting a few seconds to compose his thoughts, "It hurt so bad to hear Isaac call another man Dad."

She held his hand tightly in hers, "I know it did, I know…but you had me so worried."

"Do you believe her Elliot?"

He exhaled, "I do, but-"

Olivia furrowed her brow, "But what?"

"I…I nothing."

"It's something…say it." Olivia said softly touching his arm.

"No." he shook his head and turned away.

Olivia exhaled and stared straight ahead. After a moment of silence, "He still won't confide in me, he won't tell me what's eating at him, he'd rather turn to the bottle than let me carry him through it."

"Elliot…how do you respond to that statement?" Viv asked. Elliot scrubbed his hands over his face and shook his head not wanting to speak. "Are you done for this session, Elliot?" Viv asked.

"Yeah." He exhaled.

"Okay, well, you can sit there and you're wife and I will talk but just know that you're welcome to jump in at any time."

He nodded.

Olivia shifted, irritated that he would stop when they were so close but after several minutes of the two females talking of nothing in particular Olivia finally understood what Viv was trying to do and in a matter of minutes Elliot suddenly spoke up, laboriously, but he did so just the same, "My son… he hates me." Elliot whispered.

"What? No he doesn't." Olivia shook her head adamantly, "No that's not true."

"Let him finish…tell her why Elliot."

"Both of them." He whispered, "They run to you for everything and they tell you they love you and the curl up next to you on the couch and you can touch them without having to worry if you'll scare them…I can't do any of that."

"El," she whispered sitting closer to him, "I'm sorry…I didn't know that's what you we're feeling."

He shook his head, "Everyone is so in love with you," he whispered, "I feel like decoration."

Her tears streamed her face, "Never in a million years have I ever thought of you that way."

"I know." He whispered, "But…it still hurts that people think I'm some nasty ogre cop that goes around bumping people off, I love you, I love our sons and when Isaac was kidnapped…I fell apart inside and everyone… everyone was on your side. We adopted Sam and… I couldn't even touch him, we got Isaac back and…he doesn't even know me."

She framed his face and kissed his lips softly. Viv reminded her of the rules to which she ignored and kissed him again resting her temple against his, "You're a beautiful man, I know you love me, and I know you love our boys… I'm sorry you felt so alone, I'm sorry I contributed to that." She whispered to him, "I can't tell you why Sam warmed to you that day at the gym and then couldn't stay connected once he stayed with us, I can only tell you that he loves you so much." She assured him, "And Isaac… he's not even two, El…and he loves you, he just doesn't know it yet is all." She told him again before pulling back and kissing the corner of his mouth, "I love you so much…please, please get this anger and frustration and whatever other emotion that is weighting you down, out…please." She whispered over his lips.

He rested his forehead against hers, "I'm trying Liv, I am."

After several minutes of silence Viv continued to watch them, there foreheads resting against one another, lips connecting periodically in gentle touch. She decided they needed to change gears, "I asked you both similar questions…got some pretty interesting answers." She smiled as they separated and Olivia gently wiped at his bottom lip where her lipstick had smudged.

"How so?" Elliot asked lacing his hand with his wife's.

"I asked Elliot to rate how you satisfy him in bed…what do you think he said?" Viv asked Olivia.

"Yeah, Liv…what'd I say?" Elliot teased.

She was happy just to see him smile, "I don't know." She blushed, "Come on, this is embarrassing."

"He gave you a nine point eight."

Olivia blushed and cleared her throat, "Oh."

"Olivia how do you think Elliot rated himself?"

She grinned "Perfect ten…he's perfect."

Elliot looked away and hung his head low. Olivia furrowed her brow and swatted him playfully, "Don't get upset, I was gonna say a twelve but it wasn't on the scale."

When Elliot continued to look away Viv finally answered, "He gave himself a six."

"A six." Olivia repeated stunned, "A six? That's… pretty low, El."

"Thanks for making that obvious." He smirked.

"El… I hate to break it to you but… you're not a six. A sixteen or twenty-six maybe, but…no definitely not a six."

"How does that make you feel, Elliot?"

He grinned proudly, "Pretty good, actually."

Viv smiled, "Elliot I asked your wife to place you on that same scale…what do you think she said?"

"Well, based on what she just said, an eight or seven?"

Olivia arched her brows, "Do I have to repeat myself?"

Viv chuckled and looked down at her notes, "Elliot your wife said, and I quote, the man is off the charts."

He blushed but Olivia saw the pride overshadow it.

"What do you think she gave herself?"

"Nine or ten." Elliot said confidently, "She's good."

"El!" Olivia scolded in embarrassment, "Stop."

"What?" he shrugged, "It's true."

"She gave herself a five or a six." Viv interjected their banter softly. Olivia turned her face from both of them.

Elliot squeezed her hand gently, "Look at me, Liv."

"No." She shook her head, "I really don't want to be here anymore."

"Liv, look at me." He urged her again and when she didn't look at him he simply stood and positioned himself in front of her. When she tried to look away he cupped her face in his hand and kneeled in front of her, "You're so much more than any number on a scale. Your so much more that a five or a six, or thirty or a hundred and thirty. He kissed her softly ignoring Viv's protest before sitting back in his seat.

Viv looked at them both, "What do you two make of the data here?"

Both shrugged, they were tired and had enough of their sex lives being dissected.

"It means you both esteem each other's sexual prowess but you have absolutely no confidence in your own." She smiled, "I don't know if I want to assign you homework…do you two think you can at least try and do it this time?" she asked through a smirk.

"We tried last time." Elliot protested.

"How long?" Viv asked challenging him.

Elliot turned to his wife, "What was it, like, four or five minutes?" he smiled.

"No," She played along, "It was at least six minutes."

Viv rolled her eyes playfully and gave them their homework assignment, "In addition to that assignment I want you two to each pick out a book that you think will help the other…then make a mental effort to sit with each other and read it, take turns and whatever you do, don't refuse the book suggestion and do not end up having sex."

"Excuse me?" Elliot turned around.

"How long?" Olivia asked quickly.

Viv smiled, "The sooner you two get through the homework…the sooner I'll have you two doing the horizontal polka." Olivia stifled the laugh that threatened to overtake her. She walked out of the office quickly leaving Elliot standing in shock at the older woman's humor. Twisted humor.

"Elliot, I wanted to say something to you."

He snapped him self out of his stupor, "yeah?"

"Whatever it is you're keeping from your wife…you'd better weigh the consequences."


	33. Chapter 33 You've Always Been

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 33 You've Always Been.

A/N: We're getting closer. LOL. The birth is around the corner.

"Mom?" Sam called for her in the room.

"Yeah, Honey? You okay?"

"Can I listen to the T.V? Isaac is asleep and I don't have any homework and Crystal isn't home to talk to."

"Oh, I'm sorry honey but you're dad had a lot of overtime last night and he's taking a nap on the couch…want to come talk to me?"

"What are you doing?"

"Folding laundry." She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, "Want to help?"

"I don't know how." He shrugged.

"Want to learn?"

"I don't think I'll be real good at it, Mom." He confessed.

"Well," she stood and led him gently to the bed, "there's only one way to find out huh?"

He grinned, "Yeah, one way."

Olivia laughed and instructed him on sorting through the socks that were in the laundry basket, the ones that felt silky were his fathers, the tiny ones were Isaacs, the low cut ones were hers and the ones that were safety pinned together were his. "Yeah, I can do that." He assured her and immediately dove into the task.

"Hold on Senor Anxious." She laughed, "Here," she handed him a shirt, "now give me your hands and this is how you fold the shirts." She told him doing the motion slowly and reaching for another shirt to repeat the process, "Okay…Dad and I and you all have buttons on our shirts…how will you tell them apart?" she asked for the soul purpose of providing him with a problem to solve for himself.

He grinned, "Easy…I can smell you apart."

She had trouble believing it, "You sure…they just got washed."

He smiled and picked up a crimson colored shirt and held it to his nose before he proclaimed the owner, "You." He picked up another and repeated the process, "Dad… see my nose is super good, 'cause my eyes are broken."

She smiled softly and kissed his forehead, "Yeah, its super good. You gonna finish this with me?" she asked motioning to the mound of clothes on the bed even though she knew he couldn't see it.

"Dad says that you have been tired, he says he wishes he could give you enough time to have a warm shower all to yourself…I can do this, Mom…I promise. You should do like dad said and have a warm shower."

She ran her hand through his hair and pulled him close, grinning next to his face, "I love you so much little man…thank you. If you need something I'll be right in the restroom okay? I'll leave the door unlocked but you still have to knock…deal?"

He grinned and offered a pinky swear, "Deal."

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Elliot had wanted to work on their 'homework' tonight, which meant she desperately needed to shave her legs. The only problem was that she hadn't been able to see her legs for the past week. Only six months pregnant with twins, she looked as if she were nine months pregnant with Isaac. She thought of every conceivable position to shave her legs but it was the belly that got in the way.

Frustrated, she rinsed off and wrapped a towel around her only to hear Sam knock on the door. "Yeah, come on it baby."

"Mom, what's this? It's not a sock." He furrowed his brow and held up the item.

Olivia almost fell off the side of the tub where she'd perched herself, when Sam held up her black lacy bra, "Oh that." She grinned and blushed. He was too innocent, "That's called a bra, Sam."

He furrowed his brow as she gently removed it from his hand and led him back to the bedroom, "What's a bra?" he asked returning to the pile of clothes and smoothing out a T-shirt.

"It's like…um…it's for girls." She said as if that were an actual answer that could help him.

"What does it do?" he asked placing a surprisingly neatly folded shirt to the side.

Olivia bit her bottom lip, "It… uh… makes your mom look better than what she actually does." She chuckled.

"What do you mean? Why are you talking weird?" he stopped and focused his attention on her.

She ran her hand through her hair and smiled, "They help my body stay where it's suppose to stay."

"It will go somewhere without it?" he asked in confusion.

All over the place. She laughed and stood forfeiting the conversation, "It isn't really important Baby…go ahead and finish up as much as you want but I need to take care of some girly stuff, okay?"

"Okay." He exhaled and then suddenly turned, "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Does Dad wear a bra? Could I ask him what it is 'cause you didn't explain it real good." He informed her.

Olivia smiled devilishly, "He doesn't wear one…but he knows what it is and I'm sure he'd love to explain it to you son."

"Good." Sam smiled, "I'll ask when he wakes up."

"Good." Olivia grinned and returned to the bathroom.

She'd gotten as far as putting the shaving gel on her left leg and she even managed to shave the back of her calf. It was slow and she almost thought she was a contortionist, but she managed a few swipes with the razor until her hand slipped and her body lurched. Reflexively she moved her hand with the razor in it slicing into her skin. She yelped and held pressure to the back of her knee. She moved her hand only to see that it was as bad as it felt.

"Sam? Sam, Baby, come here. Hurry, please."

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Honey," She said calmly it wasn't necessarily hurting, so much as just bleeding hard, "Go get your father for me, okay?"

"But he's sleeping."

"Baby, I hurt my se-"

He was gone. Down the hall screaming for his father before she could explain to him that it was just a nick but she needed a Band-Aid and medicine and she didn't want Sam anywhere near the razor.

"Liv?" Elliot barked as he barreled down the hall way, heavy feet against hardwood floor, followed by the lighter rhythm of Sam and as if right on cue the soft giggling of Isaac.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked bolting into the restroom and kneeling instantly in front of Olivia.

"She's hurt Dad!" Sam said colliding with his father before kneeling only to have Isaac run in, trample over Sam's legs and sit on Elliot's thighs.

"Boo!" he giggled.

Olivia looked at her three best men. They'd come to save her, come to heal her… razor nick. "My cavalry." She said softly reaching out to touch Isaac's hair, "Thank you for getting your Dad Sam." She smiled and reached out to kiss him.

"Liv, what's wrong?" Elliot asked cupping her face and looking down at the trail of blood along her calf, mistaking it from blood that could indicate hemorrhaging, "Alright, let's go to the hospital."

"Elliot." She grinned and rested her forehead against his, "I nicked my self, I can't see exactly where… I just need you to help me clean it and but a band aid on it."

He exhaled in relief and looked at Sam who raised his brow, "She's not gonna die, Dad?"

"No son." Elliot whispered and kissed him softly, "Why don't you take you're brother and turn on Shrek?"

"We've heard that already." Sam protested.

"Fine then… beauty and the beast." Elliot offered.

"Shrek is good." Sam said and quickly left the room with a pampered Isaac holding his hand.

"What happened?" Elliot asked helping her to her feet so she could sit on the toilet.

"I was trying to shave my legs and the girls blocked my line of sight." She chuckled, "I'm so fat…I can barely fit into my maternity clothes."

He smiled softly, "Well get you some more, don't worry… why did you pick today of all days to shave? Why not just have someone wax them for you?"

"Homework." She smiled softly, "I didn't want to have stubbly legs when we're suppose to be working on touch."

He laughed out loud, "You women are a whole different breed of person." He said grabbing a wet cloth and dabbing at the wound, "Geeze Liv, you filleted your self right on the tendon. I've heard of close shaves but you took this one to the extreme."

"Bad?" she asked trying to move to see and coming up empty.

"It's gonna be a scar." He smiled.

She lowered her head, "What's another one?" She mumbled.

"Hey," he raised her head and forced her to look at him, "you're drop dead gorgeous… with or without them."

She smiled softly and kissed him gently, "Did you find a book?"

"Yeah, it came in today; I picked it up after work."

"What is it?" she asked as he put a small band aid on her wound.

"Can't tell you until we're ready to tell each other." He smiled, "Did you find one?"

"Yeah, right after we left Vivian's." she smiled, "it's gonna help you, I know it will."

"Good… mine is gonna help you." He whispered and reached for the can of shaving gel, "It's pink?" he furrowed his brow, "Shaving gel isn't suppose to be pink, it's suppose to be green or blue… manly. What is this?" he asked smelling the top and smiling. It was her; it was that scent he'd always tried to place when he made love to her.

"El," She reached for it but he pulled it away, "it's a ladies shaving gel… it's allowed to be pink!"

"Oh." He looked at it again, "You're a girl."

"Duh." She laughed.

"So your gel is pink… mine is green, 'cause I'm-"

"Manly… I know." She smiled then cocked a brow when he started to shake the can, "What are you doing?"

He looked at her as if it were obvious, "I'm going to shave your legs for you."

"No your not." She told him matter of fact.

"Olivia." He held up his finger, "I let you shave my face… I let you come near my face with a razor when you had every right to kill me," he smiled, "I think I'm capable of shaving my wife's legs."

"El! This is gross, no."

"Stop." He held up his hand again, "I also cut you're hair to which you neither thanked me nor complained but let me tell you… Paul said it looked good and Alex asked to know who trimmed you're hair." He grinned, "I'm capable," he whispered and kissed her forehead as he kneeled in front of her, "Let me help my wife." He whispered, "Let me be a man and help her."

She smiled softly, "I swear if you cut me-"

"You'll kill me several times, yeah, I know." He laughed and dispensed the gel into his hand and smoothed it over her legs. She handed him the razor. Then prayed. Hard.

Where he had been so rough with her in the prior weeks, he was completely gentle and soft with her in this moment. She felt the first pass of the razor gliding over skin, obliterating white foam and leaving a tone and tan wake behind it. "What do you think about our homework?" she asked softly as she watched him work carefully on her body.

"I think it will be good for us." He told her taking a timid stroke over her ankle.

"She wants us to touch each other… but not anywhere good, doesn't that sound like torture rather than healing therapy?" she asked with a smirk as he straightened her leg out and rested the heel of her foot on his thigh.

"I just want to touch you, I don't care where." He shrugged taking a careful pass over her shin, "I just like my hands on you."

She reached out and touched his face gently, "I do too." She whispered and then let a comfortable silence fill the room as he continued to care for her. Marriage had brought her to accept things like this, being cared for by a man she loved, in ways she never imagined. After several minutes, as he wiped down her legs with a fresh cloth she suddenly pulled him up to kiss her, she held him close, her lips against his before her tongue made a trespass and glided over his teeth. His moan and her smile as they pulled apart, "I loved my hair." She whispered, "I thought you did a pretty amazing job."

He grinned and kissed her, "Why didn't you just say that?"

"I thought I did when I asked you to make love to me that night."

He chuckled and rested his forehead on her shoulder, "Oh… that thank you."

"Yeah." She smiled, "Thank you for the fresh legs."

He rubbed her calves softly, "I think we both benefit from these," he laughed "did you want to finish painting the nursery tonight?"

"Yeah... have you thought of any names?" she asked as he helped her up.

"Fatso and Stretch?" He asked with a smile.

She arched her brow, "You callin' me fat?"

"Nope." He patted her belly, "I'm not that dumb."

"Good." She laughed, "Let me get some clothes on and I'll meet you in the nursery."

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"Are you sure you want to cover this stuff Liv?" Elliot asked pointing to the hand painted phrases Olivia had painted when they'd prepared the nursery for Isaac.

She hung her head, "I don't… sometimes I don't want to remember anything, like I want this all to disappear and we can start over, but then I look at him and he's almost two… we've missed so much… I don't want the reminders that we've missed him, I don't want to look at the wall and know that they we're there before Isaac was taken."

Elliot leaned the paint roller next to the wall and drew her into a hug.

"This room… the way it is, it haunts me, El… it reminds me of how it was before he was taken… it reminds me that he was taken." She whispered, "That we didn't have him."

He cupped the back of her head and kissed her through her hair, "But you need to remember all of the things you said about him… so he knows we loved him even before he was born. Keep them Liv, when he's older, he might want to see them."

"And the babies?" she asked pulling back and resting her hands on her belly, "What would I do for them to make this their room?"

He smiled, cupped her cheek, "I know you'll think of something, you're so talented. I didn't know that until you painted Isaac's nursery. I didn't know that you're so good at everything you do."

She smiled and leaned into his chest, "Any names?"

"Colin?" he smiled.

"A girl can't be called Colin, Elliot."

"Then you better not deliver girls." He chuckled, "We're having boys, deal with it."

She hugged his waist tighter, "I'm scared." She whispered.

"Of what?" he asked with furrowed brows.

"Labor… I wasn't awake when I had Isaac. I just… woke up and he was there. I'm scared with these guys." She whispered rubbing her belly.

"I'll be right next to you."

"Can we-" she paused to look at him, "Can we do the things we didn't do when I was pregnant with Isaac? The things we didn't get to before he came."

"Like?"

"A labor bag." She grinned, "I was reading and they said you should but one together and keep it in the car… can we?"

"Definitely." He smiled, "I still want to name one of the babies."

She grinned, "Did you think I wouldn't let you?"

"No, I mean I want to name one and you can name the other."

"El," she shook her head, "I don't know if that's a good idea, I mean what if one of us doesn't like the name?"

"How about the only stipulation we have is that both of us has to agree to names we like… when we agree on one well put it on a list that we can pick from… deal?"

She thought about it for a long moment, "I'm trusting you not to name our daughter something silly like Conception."

"I won't… because we're having boys." He laughed and picked up the paint roller, "Get started Benson, we haven't got all night."

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"Boo!" Isaac laughed jumping up and down in the door way of the nursery.

Olivia stopped rolling the paint and turned to him, "Hey, Naked."

He giggled and patted his naked belly running to her and holding tight to her leg, "Mama!"

Elliot continued to paint.

Olivia kneeled down and kissed her son, "What's going on Buddy?"

"Up." He laughed reaching for her.

She noticed the tenseness in Elliot that wasn't there before Isaac entered the room, "Go see Daddy." She smiled and pointed to Elliot.

Isaac looked at Elliot and then back to Olivia in confusion, "Up?" he asked again.

"Ask Dada for up." She said encouraging him to go to his father.

Elliot continued to paint figuring his son wouldn't want anything to do with him.

"Elliot?" Olivia whispered.

He exhaled and looked at her, defeat clearly written on his face, "What?"

She pointed to his legs.

He looked down and raised his brow; his mouth went slack as the most beautiful, naked, blond haired boy was waiting with arms raised up. Elliot kneeled slowly unconcerned with where the roller landed, "Hi." He whispered and took his son into his arms standing again and looking into speckled blue eyes, "How are you, Son?"

Isaac grinned and clapped his pudgy hands on Elliot's cheeks kissing his mouth with a smile. Elliot closed his eyes and held his son close, "Yeah, I love you too."

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"That tickles!" Elliot laughed as he sat on his bottom in the middle of a freshly painted nursery. Isaac's words still very much readable.

"Just sit still." Olivia chuckled rolling an ocean blue color over his bare feet.

"Why are you doing this again?" He asked laughing as she applied another coat to his foot.

"You'll see, it came to me. You know… what I could do for the babies to make it their room."

"What does their room have to do with my feet?" he laughed and wiggled his toes.

"Stand up." She grinned extending her hand.

"What? Liv, it's a hard wood floor!" He frowned, "I'll get paint on it."

"That's the point… stand up." She smiled and helped him up, "Right here." She said pointing to a spot in the middle of the room, "Hop over."

Elliot rolled his eyes and complied, "I'm here."

"Put you're foot down… straight down, don't smudge."

"Bossy."

"Do it." She smiled and kissed him as he did. She bent low, "Give me you're other foot." He complied and laughed as she applied paint to his naked foot, "Put it down." She instructed. He did, "Good." She grinned and offered him a rag, "Wipe your feet, Stabler."

He smiled and carefully picked up one foot in order not to smudge. He wiped himself clean, placing the foot in a slipper she set in front of him and repeating the process for the other foot, "I can't believe my feet are that big." He frowned looking at the two perfect foot prints now permanently affixed to the floor.

"I think you have sexy feet."

"Really?" he grinned, "Me?"

"Yeah." She laughed and patted his chest as she walked out of the room, "Can you make dinner while I finish up?"

"Sure," He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck from behind, "But only 'cause you said I have sexy feet."

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She was so much on a roll that she hadn't eaten dinner. Sam had ventured into the nursery and offered her his kiss and hug good night to which she promptly stopped her work and kissed him back, a tight hug, an encouraging word and soft 'I love you, Handsome' whispered in his ear before he left to let his dog in.

Isaac was a horse of a different color. He lay on his back, naked, on the cool of the hardwood floor sound asleep. She watched him as she finished a stroke. The soles of his feet were stained blue to match his father's and older brother's print. He was peaceful, his head resting on his balled up shirt that he'd taken off right after leaving his high chair. She suspected it was all those nights in a hot basement that taught him to seek refuge on the cool floor; to sleep on hard material because you were ripped from the comfort of your parents' arms.

She should have been the one to kill Ganzner. To murder him in cold blood just like he'd done to her and Elliot's heart. She should have murdered him so Elliot would never have to feel threatened that Isaac wouldn't know him as 'father'. She should have murdered him. Not killed, like, in self –defense… she should have tracked him, and murdered him.

"Hey," Elliot smiled as she snapped out of her thoughts and stood trying to cover her work, "I want to see."

"It's not done." She shook her head and pointed down at Isaac, "Can you put a pamper on him and put him down?"

He kissed her forehead and smiled, "Yeah, call me when you're done, I want to see… and I want to go over some homework with you." He winked and turned to pick up his sleeping son.

It was nearly an hour and a half later when she walked delicately down the hall, the soft glow of the muted television providing the only light. Her husband's voice speaking softly to the little man in his arms. She stopped and listened.

"I know," he whispered to Isaac who was clearly asleep, "that you might think, I didn't take really good care of you, Son… but," he shook his head, "I wanted to be with your mother so much that I left that weekend. I left to spend time with her, so we could be strong with for you. So we could be happy for you. We we're both a little tired and stressed out. We'd forgotten our anniversary. I think… if I was a better man, I would have remembered it, but, I think we all know I'm not the man you're mother wants me to be. I'm the man you deserve as a father." Elliot confessed to his sleeping son. He shook his head as if trying to void a thought, "I didn't… if… I had thought you we're in any trouble, I swear to you I would have never left… I would have watched over you like a hawk." He confessed running his hand over the boy's cheek.

Elliot exhaled softly, "You have no idea what you do to me when you ask for me to pick you up." He smiled and wiped his moist eyes with the palm of his hand, "You have no idea what it feels like when my heart stops and I look down at something as beautiful as you asking for me to pick you up."

Olivia rested her hand over her mouth silencing herself from going to him and telling him that Isaac knows these things, that he knows his father, that he knows his father would never hurt him. She remained silent and continued to watch.

"I knew," Elliot whispered, struggling to control tears, "the first time I held you that there would come a day when you didn't need me anymore; I knew that would kill me to see you be your own man… I just didn't think you wouldn't need me so soon. I thought… I hoped your first word would be Dada, you know… just to spite you're mother." Elliot chuckled lightly at the thought, "I wanted to see you take your first step, I always imagined you running into my legs and hugging me… I imagined you loving me," he whispered crying harder as he held Isaac tighter, "and I don't know how to get you to love me like you do you're mother. I don't know how to get you to love me again, son."

Olivia bit her lip debating if she should interfere. She stayed back and let Elliot get it out knowing if she interrupted he very well could shut down.

"The moment I met your mother, I pictured what you would look like." Elliot whispered over his son, "I pictured feeding you those gross baby food peas and spending your first Christmas in my arms… I pictured you son. I thought about you and I dreamed about you before you were even here, before you were even a possibility… I loved you, I still do." He cried over his son as if he were dead and pleading for God to bring him back to life.

Olivia moved gently and made her way around the couch, kneeling softly in front of him, her hand on his shoulder as he cried into their son. She offered him silence, knowing there wasn't a word she could say that could feel the wound that was his heart. She felt him grab at her waist, felt him hold tight to her as if he were falling into some black hole and the reality of the situation was, she knew that was exactly what was happening.

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Olivia had just closed the dresser drawer, putting the last of the neatly folded clothes that Sam has produced away, when Elliot snaked his arms around her bulging body and hugged her tight. His nose and lips buried into her neck, "I love you." He whispered into her ear.

She reached behind her and caressed his face, "I love you too… you feeling better?"

"I just put him down… he stirred and woke up."

"Is he still awake?"

"No." Elliot whispered with a smile, "He woke up and promptly crawled out of his bed and into Sam's… I think Tripod actually encouraged it." He chuckled softly.

"Sam okay with him being in the bed?"

"I think so, he woke up and fixed the covers over Isaac… he didn't say anything."

She nodded imperceptibly and turned in his embrace to frame his face, "Elliot." She whispered searching his face, "What's happening to you?"

He smiled softly and lowered her hand, "You gonna show me what you needed my foot prints for?"

She exhaled knowing he wasn't gonna open up to her if she kept pushing. She took his hand and led him back to the nursery, "Remember when we we're talking about wanting our kids to follow in our foot steps, make right decisions, be strong?"

"Yeah." he grinned and then looked down to where she pointed, "Wow... that's all of us?"

"Except for the girls... but yeah, I got Sam and Isaac's foot prints on there too." she smiled, "The girls can learn something from them too, I think."

"This is so cool." He grinned looking down at the foot prints, his at the top, Olivia's just under his, with Sam's and Isaac's following.

"They say toddlers like to stand in shoes that are much bigger that they would need, I thought maybe they would like to see feet...stupid?"

Elliot grinned squatting low to see the perfect feet shalaked on the floor, she'd written words on each print, his bore, "STRONG" "ENCOURAGER" "DETERMINED" and "LOYAL" he almost hated the last word. He ran his fingertips over Sam's prints, "GENTLE", "JUST" "WISE" and "GOD SEND". He grinned at Isaac's smaller prints and ran his fingers over the words, "MIRACLE", "LAUGHTER", "HOPE" and "REDEMPTION".

"Amazing Liv... how long did it take?"

"Long enough." she laughed, "I just figured... I don't know. If the girls ever wanted to follow our footsteps, they would know what each of us stands for."

He looked down at the footprints of his family and back up to his wife, "Why don't your's have any words?"

She exhaled and looked at him, "I thought maybe... if you could think of something and paint them in. If i did it, it would be biased, i want this to be real." she explained.

He smiled and nodded, "I can think of a million words... i'll do it, but first i want to-"

He didn't finish before his mouth was on her, his mouth searching hers in something frantic and desperate. She pulled back for air when it was too much, "El," She shook her head and framed his face, "What is happenign with you?"

He lowered her hands from his face and rubbed her knuckled "I'm okay."

"No." She shook her head gently, "Honey, you're not okay… you held our son and cried like I've never seen you do before, you said things you've never even told me. Please," She whispered searching his eyes, "Please let me in." she said resting her free hand over his heart, "Let me walk this with you."

He cupped her cheek and shook his head softly, "I have to walk this one by myself Liv."

"Why!" She snapped, "I'm you're wife Elliot! I love you, damnit! Why are you pushing me away on this one?"

Softly, he replied, "Please don't yell at me, not now, I can't handle it."

She tilted her head at the broken creature in front of her, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean for it to come out like that, I just… I love you and I know you would want to help me if it were me going through this, I just… I want to be there for you too."

"You are." He smiled softly tucking her hair behind her ears, "You are, everyday you choose to stay with me, you make me a little stronger… you make me a little more of a man."

"I don't understand why you feel less than one when you're such a great one to begin with." She whispered and closed her eyes resting her face on his chest, "Can you answer me one thing and I'll stop hounding you? Can you just assure me of one thing?"

"Sure, what is it?" he asked softly.

She pulled back and locked eyes with him, "There isn't anyone else, is there? There hasn't been? That's not why we're in counseling, why you've been having problems in bed with me or-"

He kissed her long and hard, his hands tangling in her hair as he moved her to the wall and ground his hips against her. He smiled as she moaned into his mouth and pulled away to breath. He caught her eyes with his, "I don't know how else to tell you that there will never be another woman."

She nodded breathless, "Okay."

"Good." He grinned, "I was kind of hoping we could do some homework now."

She blushed, "Book first or touch?"

He smiled, "Where's your book?"

"On the nightstand… your's?"

"In my nightstand." He grinned, "I want to touch you, I want my hands on you and I want to feel your hands on me… let me hold you while we read, but I just want to touch you."

She grinned, "Okay," she agreed walking with him back to their room, "but… you remember the rules? Nothing intimate and you have to fight arousal and you have to talk."

"Vivian really made this complicated."

"I think she's trying to make us focus on appreciating touch."

He grinned and pulled her hips to his, "Oh, I can assure you that I appreciate your touch."

"See there," she whispered cupping his erection, "Already you're gonna make us flunk right out of counseling."

"Oh, like you're doing us big favors with your hand on me."

"I don't hear you complaining." She smiled and rested her hands on his hips, "There, neutral territory."

He ducked his head to her lips, to which she pulled away and shook her head, "She said no kissing on the mouth."

"I hate Vivian… I love to kiss you, this isn't right." He pouted.

She smiled and took a step back as she started to unbutton her shirt with one hand and hold his gaze. She was just about to take it off when she'd caught a glimpse of her very enlarged body in the mirror. Self consciously she closed the shirt and bowed her head trying to turn away.

Elliot pulled her back to him and pried her arms from their folded position, "Don't do that." He whispered tracing the line of her jaw, "You're so beautiful. I think Vivian is setting us up for failure with this homework assignment."

"I'm fat." She whispered.

"You're pregnant."

"I feel like I'm pregnant with a mini village." She shook her head rubbing her belly, "I miss being able to get really close to you… to feel you're heart beat when we make love." She whispered resting her hand over his heart again.

He smiled softly, "You're pregnant, and you're beautiful and you're sexy and magnificent all at the same time."

She took hold of his hand and kissed the palm, nodded her consent softly and took a step closer to him, "Don't you dare turn me on." She whispered, "We aren't allowed to make love and I don't want to go to sleep in want."

He smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears trailing his fingertips lightly down the column of her neck watching her eyes close, "No." He whispered "Don't close your eyes, I know you, you'll come."

She blushed but forced herself to open them, "Vivian said to close my eyes and enjoy it."

"Did you tell her that you'll come just enjoying it?" he teased.

"No…" she laughed, "I was sort of-"

"Being sneaky." He finished for her and shook his head, "Close your eyes then, Liv." He whispered and commanded his hands to touch her like he never had before. He saw the way her body reacted, the chill that ran over it as he pushed her shirt off and let it fall to the ground. "Let me look at you." He whispered trying to get her to lower her arms again.

"No." She shook her head "Please… turn the lights off?"

He smiled softly and covered her hands just over her chest "Liv, that's never been the case… why are you scared of this?"

"El," She groaned and looked down, "Look at me."

"I'm trying." He waggled his brow and took a step forward embracing her and running the extreme tips of his fingers up and down her back, "I love that you're carrying our babies, and that you are this big… just means they're healthy and growing."

"I didn't have stretch marks with Isaac and now… I have them everywhere." She groaned.

He smiled, tipping her chin up, "I don't see them… I see you."

"El," she shook her head softly, "How can you want me? Look at me, I'm a mess." She whispered sliding her glasses up on her nose, "My hair is a mess, my body is scarred enough that it looks like I've been through a war, I'm so huge I can't make love to you face-to-face and-"

"Shut up." He smiled at her and removed her glasses setting them on the nightstand, "Shh… I love you, no matter what you look like, don't worry about the weight, Honey, you'll loose it just like you did with Isaac." He assured her.

She shook her head more adamantly and let it hang low in shame, "I can't loose the scars though, can I?"

He furrowed his brow at her confession, rested his hands on her swollen belly, "Liv… the date is gone… I thought you were excited about that?"

"I was… I am." She shook her head in agreement.

"But?"

She looked away again, covered her latest addition with her hand, "I really don't want to do this right now, I'm sorry, Elliot."

He took a step closer to her and ran his hand over hers, lacing his fingers with hers and gently lowering her hand from her chest, "He didn't mean it."

"I know." She whispered, "It was an accident, I just didn't think the scar would be as bad as it is."

"You just had your stitches taken out… it looks worse right now than it probably will in the future." He assured her and traced the angry red scar with his index finger, "Do this with me, Liv… let's get past all of these insecurities so we can focus on our boys and each other."

"I want to make love to you."

"You'll get me in trouble with Vivian." He smiled resting his forehead against hers, "I want to kiss your lips."

Olivia ran her fingernails up and down his sides slowly, "You'll make her read me the riot act."

He smiled and made a trail from the small of her back, around her waist to the front of her pants. He smiled as her hands wrapped around his neck, his nose nuzzling hers gently his mind reminding him that her lips were off limits. He unbuttoned her pants and slid them off of her slowly allowing him self to kiss the length of neck, trail his stubble along her clavicle and her bicep purposefully ignoring her breast. He smiled as her breath hitched when his chin reached the soft skin of her bicep, "You've got to fight it, Liv." He whispered tonguing the bend of her elbow.

She closed her eyes and splayed one hand over his chest as if to stop her self from taking him right then and here, "I don't think you've ever touched me like that."

"You liked that?" he asked a little shocked at the simplicity.

"Yeah," she chuckled, "It felt really nice."

He smiled and kneeled in front of her; she thought of his face buried between her thighs in the changing room and immediately took a step back. He smiled knowing exactly what was happening in her mind. He reached out to her hips and pulled her back to him. His hands soft and magical against her skin, fingertips grazing the curvature of her belly, to softness of her hips, the tenderness of thighs.

He kissed her belly button, provided of trail of equally soft kisses further down until she sucked in air and pushed him away at his shoulders, "Don't." she whispered shaking her head, "It's too much for me."

He grinned and stood facing her, turning her shoulders so that her body was forced to turn completely around. He moved her hair, exposing her neck to him, his lips where soft against her, trailing over the tan expanse of flesh. She reached back and gripped his hip, kneaded his body gently and felt herself shudder as he kissed the length of her spine and drug his fingertips along her back, snaking his hands to the front of her thighs as he kissed the flesh of her bottom, smiling at her thighs involuntary jump as his hands roamed freely. She chuckled feeling him smile against her flesh. He started to stand, kissed and sucked softly at the base of her spine as he ran a hand over the globe of her bottom. She moaned.

"Don't come." He whispered to her, "Don't or we'll flunk."

She turned around and shook her head helping him stand she placed his hand on her breast and locked eyes with him, "I don't care about the assignment, I want to make love to you."

He closed his eyes at the awesome sensation of his wife's nipple rising to meet the warmth of his palm through her bra. He wanted to take her, to pull her down on the bed and have his way with her. He closed his eyes, felt himself rise and immediately withdrew his hand.

She frowned.

He smiled at her, "I Want to do this… she said it would make everything even better… do this with me?"

She exhaled, "Since when did you become Mr. Responsible?" she pouted.

He bent low and pulled her panties up, "You're letting me tempt myself… that's not fair."

She smiled, "No one said to take my underwear off." She retorted as she raised his T-shirt up over his body and cast it to the floor. She looked him over slowly. He was beautiful. She took her time with him, her hands on his chest, grazing his nipples softly then avoiding them quickly when he moaned in pleasure. "You're so easy." She whispered playfully.

"If I recall… I heard some moaning from you as well." He reminded her resting his hands on her hips.

She closed her eyes remembering a tactic Sam showed her. Remembering how touch, without site feels completely different. She ran her hands up along the curves of his body, resting softly on his cheeks before exploring with her fingertips, she's surprised at how good and intimate this feels, to be standing half naked with her lover, simply touching with no intentions of making love. Not that the desire wasn't there.

She smiles softly to herself when she grazes fingertips over his nose. It's perfect by touch. Matches the structure of his body. His jaw is tight and tense until her hands caress its hinges, her thumbs over his lips. He kisses them softly and watches her feel him. She's different, so intent and thorough with her hands. She's touching him everywhere and he has never been more thankful for her touch than he is right now. His wife is touching him as if this was all he's ever wanted.

She made her way over his arms, her brows furrow slightly. He's so powerful and she hadn't noticed it before. Sure she knew he was strong, she could look at him and tell. But to actually feel that power when he is at rest was a turn on.

She bent his elbows forcing his forearms parallel with the ground, palms up. She kept her eyes closed enjoying this tactile pleasure as if they were making love for the first time. Running her fingertips over his forearms she stopped at both of his wrists and held his hands massaging his wrists with her thumbs. She was surprised when he hissed in air and tried to pull away. She held him firmly and smiled imagining his face behind closed eye lids, "What happened?"

He laughed softly, "You almost made me cum with that…don't do that." He scolded her playfully.

It's almost funny to her that they've been lovers for almost three years and they're finding out new spots on one another that they hadn't before realized existed. She brought her hands to his waist and unbuckled his pants. His breath cascading over her face as he bent to caress her cheek with is own, "You're so beautiful, Olivia." He whispered.

She smiled and had to force herself to keep her eyes closed. She ran her fingertips over his abdomen, tracing the outline of perfect muscles before pushing his pants off of his hips. She smiled hearing the shudder in his voice, the twitch in his chest as she bent low to kiss his flesh. His scent was intoxicating as if it were the first time meeting him, "You smell really good." She whispered running her splayed palms up his back, increasing in pressure to build friction. He had to take a step forward as he sucked in air from the sudden change in stimulus.

"Geeze Liv." He panted feeling her nails rake down his back.

"Too much?" she asked immediately lightening up.

"No." he shook his head and brought her closer, "keep going, don't stop."

"You're not supposed to be turned on by this, remember?" she teased.

"Just touch me." He told her quickly, "Just touch me, and don't stop."

She grinned as his tongued her throat in eagerness. How good it felt to be desired. To be craved by this man in front of her. She made her way to his boxers to which he quickly grabbed her hands, "Don't you dare," He panted, "You take them off and we'll never make it through this the way were supposed to."

She nodded and let go of his waistband but not before running her hands down his thighs, scratching her nails against the back of his knees and calves before kissing her way back up his body, "El?" she asked finally opening her eyes and seeing him as the most beautiful man she'd ever laid eyes on. She may not have been a big proponent of this exercise when it was assigned but she was now.

"Yeah?" he swallowed already missing her touch on his body.

"I think we went past the five minute mark." She chuckled.

He laughed against her and cupped her face, "You were so amazing… I wish we would have learned that a long time ago.'

"We got a lot of time to practice." She grinned wrapping her arms around him and hiding in his body, "You… when you touched me… I thought I was gonna pass out."

"Ditto." He chuckled into her shoulder and allowed silence to filter into their room as they stood in each others arms. She in her bra and panties, he in his boxers, "Lye with me Liv?" he asked stroking her arms with his fingers, "We could get started on the books if you want."

She smiled against him and nodded letting him lead her to the bed, he pulled back the comforter and folded it down to the end of the bed knowing it was going to be too hot for her. She preferred to just snuggle up to him rather than use the blankets in the summer time. He was fine with that. She reached over and withdrew her book from inside her nightstand. Her eyes fell on her badge and she smiled softly. For the first time in her career, she didn't feel the need to be at work.

He was already stretched out and waiting for her with his book and a pen by the time she'd turned to him. She grinned, "Anxious?"

"Little." He said motioning to her book, "Whatchya got?"

"You first." She said nodding to his book with her head.

"I asked you first."

"First the worst, second the best." She beamed playfully, "I win… show me Whatchya got?"

"Nope." He smiled and laced his hand with hers, "Come on Liv… just this once, don't need to feel in control… show me, please?"

She smiled softly and kissed his lips, "Don't be upset with me okay?"

"I wont." He assured her, "Show me."

She took a breath and placed the book between them. He stared at it, absorbed the title before reading it, "The Anonymous Alcoholic and Their Spouse." He whispered hoarsely and looked up at her.

She waited for a backlash. There was none. "Thank you." He whispered over her lips, "That means a lot that you are willing to walk through it with me, even though you want nothing to do with booze."

She touched his face softly, "I want nothing to do with booze… but I want everything to do with you, I'll walk with you, but only if you let me."

He closed his eyes, wished he could make love to her right there, "Thank you, I love you, Olivia."

She inhaled and arched her brows before quickly setting them down, "Alright, Whatchya got?"

His smile, or hint at playfulness was nowhere to be found. He furrowed his brows, touched the cover of the book he held and shook his head softly as if suddenly realizing his selection may hurt her rather than help to heal her. He'd found the workbook on the internet and knew they'd both benefit from it. He'd ordered it immediately, now he wondered if he should give it to her. "You know what? Let's just work on one for now, huh?" he offered trying to put the book away.

"Hey." She put her hand over the book that he held to his chest. She smiled softly, "Come on… we've come this far, I put my self on the line showing you my book… show me, Please?"

He tangled his hand in her hair and brought her forehead to his, his jaw clenched as he took in a breath, "I'd never hurt you."

"I know." She whispered lowering his hand, "Show it to me."

He swallowed and put the book down over the one she'd previously shown him. He watched her eyes grow big as she read the title. "Oh." She whispered furrowing her brow, "Um," she laughed nervously, and cleared the emotion in her throat as she continued to stare at the book.

"If you can't its okay, w-"

"No." she smiled softly and gripped his hand, "Um… I can do this… I think."

"I've looked through it Liv, it's a great workbook."

She exhaled and ran her finger over the title, "Surviving Rape As A Couple." She whispered, "He made you a victim too, the minute he attacked me… he made you into a victim before I ever met you."

He touched her hip. She flinched involuntarily.

"I'm sorry." He whispered furrowing his brow, "I just… wanted to touch you."

She closed her eyes and shook her head as a tear made its self known, "Its okay… I don't know why I jumped." She assured him and placed his hand back on her hip. She opened the book and flipped through it with nothing specific in mind. She wanted a feel for what she'd just agreed to. There were sections for him, her, them. She flipped the page and read some of the questions… they were so personal, so intrusive into her own thoughts that she hadn't shared before, with anyone. Questions that she'd never even thought to ask her self.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly as she continued to leaf through the book.

"I don't," she exhaled and wiped at a tear, "I don't think I can actually look at you and answer these questions… it's too humiliating." She whispered, "I don't… it was humiliating enough to go through it… I can't do it in front of you… it'll break me." She swallowed shaking her head as memories flooded.

He exhaled pulled her close to him, "Turn on your side, Liv."

"El," she shook her head, "I can't make love to you, not now."

He looked at her face and smiled softly, "I'm not asking you to… trust me?"

She positioned herself on her side and heard him cast one of the books to the side. He spooned tightly with her, handed her a pen. "You're book isn't really a work book, I think its more discussion." She sniffled then stopped when he held the work book in front of her, "El," she shook her head softly, "Please, I can't do this… it's too much."

"It is too much, but you can do it." He whispered in her ear, "We're not allowed to refuse the books we choose for each other."

"I don't want to do this in front of you… I don't think I can face you and this book at the same time." She protested weakly.

He snaked one hand under the curve of her neck letting her head rest on him, he wrapped his free arm over her and opened the book to the first page, "You're not facing me, Honey… I'm right behind you, I'm here to help you walk through this, and it's gonna hurt you and it's gonna kill me to see you hurt, but we'll get through it together, you and me, we'll beat this just like we do everything else." He assured her.

She reached back, touched his face softly, "I'm afraid of this."

He remembers when they trapped her father, when they used her as bait. He uses her own words to encourage her, "Then do it afraid."

He kissed her cheek, gently forced the pen into her hand and held her tightly, "I'm ready when you are."

It was painful to say the least. The reading had been easy enough, but it was the questions that killed her. It was explaining to him why she still didn't like for him to arch her hips up into him. It was explaining to him that that sensation of feeling him inside her at that specific angle reminded her of her attack. It was explaining to him that she felt so alone not having another woman to confide in without feeling as though she would loose her respect.

He held her and cried with her for well over an hour and they hadn't so much as past the first two pages of questions, he brushed her hair back and kissed her cheek softly a soft, 'I love you,' whispered over her. His questions were no easier, having to explain to her that he's devastated that she's been devastated, explaining that his heart breaks that she wants to make uninhibited love to him…and can't, explaining to her that it kills him when he knows she doesn't accept that he sees her as pure… explaining to her that… it kills him.

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They laid together in silence. Two books resting on the nightstand. Neither one more painful than the other, both devastating; bringing pain before healing. He hadn't understood until tonight what it must have felt like to grow up with a drunk, to marry a man that became one. He hadn't understood what he'd done to her, but tonight he finally understood why she left the house. Tonight he finally released her from his anger.

She tried to leave the bed when it got too rough, he wouldn't let her. And when he'd left the room in humiliation, she tenderly led him back from the living room, gently wrapped his arms back around her. It was silence that caressed them in their room, in their bed. It was comfortable, the silence that could only be shared by two lovers, by these two lovers.

It was the soft knock at the door that made her smile. That let her feel Elliot's smile against her neck, "I'll give you three guesses who that is," Elliot chuckled, "And it's not Tripod or Isaac."

"Hold on Baby." Olivia called to the door and quickly reached for Elliot's t-shirt and pulled it over her body, "Okay."

"Are you sleeping?" Sam asked poking his head into the room.

"No, Son." Elliot said sitting up, "We we're talking, come on it."

"You okay?" Olivia asked hoping her tired voice didn't alert Sam.

"Yeah, yeah, but I wanted to ask Dad something." He replied.

She squinted at the clock, "its one o'clock in the morning, honey, what's so important that y-" she stopped when he walked further into the room, her satin bra in hand. She'd left the last load of clothes in the laundry room. She grinned knowing Elliot was about to be cornered.

"What's up, Son?" Elliot asked patting the bed for Sam to crawl up.

Sam crawled up the center of the bed and kneeled down, "Dad, what's this?" he asked holding up the bra.

Olivia watched the mortification spread over Elliot's face.

"That… um, that is… you should ask your mother." He finished quickly.

"I did." Sam said, "She didn't explain it real good."

"Oh." Elliot said looking at Olivia who simply shrugged and held in her laughter.

"What is it Dad?"

"It's… a bra." Elliot said uncomfortably.

"I know that." Sam replied in irritation, "What does it do? Why is this one different from the other one?" he asked.

"Yeah, El… what does it do?"

Elliot waved a playful fist at her and turned back to their son, "It… okay, um… you know how you have that special liner in your swim trunks?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, um… you know how that sort of… keeps things in place for you?"

"Yeah?" Sam tilted his head and then suddenly held out the bra, "Ewww!" he groaned, "Is this underwear?"

Elliot laughed, "Yeah it's a type, you could say that."

Sam dropped the bra on the comforter and furrowed his brow, "That's gross! Mom, why didn't you tell me it was underwear?"

"Sam," She laughed, "It's underwear for girls-"

"Oh," Sam covered his face, "That's really bad." He groaned falling back onto the mattress.

"It's not a big deal… it doesn't go over my bottom like your swim trunks." She clarified.

Sam looked confused, "Then where does it go?" he asked.

Elliot leaned over and whispered, "Should have left well enough alone, Liv."

She looked back at Sam, "You need to climb back into bed, you have school."

"Hey!" He pointed to her voice, "Your changing the subject!"

She laughed into Elliot's shoulder, embarrassed, "Honey, it's women's underwear, you were right." She said unwilling to get into details.

He shook his head and promptly climbed off the bed, "Gross…you should have told me, Mom." He said wiping his hands on his pajamas, "Gross." He muttered walking out of the room.

Olivia turned to Elliot and grinned, "Sam's pajamas, ten dollars. My bra, thirty-two dollars… the look on your face just now… priceless."

He laughed and kissed her neck playfully as he held her tight to him again. He kissed her shoulder, kissed the lobe of her ear.

"El?"

"Yeah?" he asked with a smile.

"You can kiss me know… we're not doing our homework."

He grinned and kissed her full on the mouth, his tongue tracing her lips, his hand in her hair. She parted her lips, passed her tongue into his mouth and moaned at the pleasure of his taste. Before it got too heated he broke away framing her face, "I love you."

She rested her face on his chest, heard his heart beat, "I know… and I love you."

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"I'm home!" Olivia called into the house. The past several weeks had been intense, Vivian had held up her promise, getting them through homework and onto the horizontal polka. It was explosive and intense and passionate and completely sexy. Six days of only being able to touch each other, three days of only being able to lay naked with one another, one day of being able to touch each other and bring one another to the brink of orgasm only to stop…it had all led to one of the most intense and vulnerable times that they'd made love.

They'd both opted to implement non sexual touch into regular practice. Opted to spend some time bringing one another so close to climax without letting the other actually loose control. They'd worked through his alcohol book three times… her book twice. Some days were easier than others, some sessions were laughable, some we're too excruciating for her to look at him.

They'd both stayed committed to their sessions with Vivian and while Elliot still hadn't told her what had him so wound up, while he still kept a wall between him and their friends he's been happier, more comfortable around Isaac, in spite of still not being called Dad.

Sam didn't look forward to his sessions with Mags, but he wasn't scared of them either. Some days he was quiet, unwilling to talk, completely happy to play chess instead of talking. Then there were days Olivia considered milestones, days where he confessed he still prayed for his daddy Wilson to get better, days when he cried and worked his way through some of the roughest questions that needed to be asked. Days where he cried and still smiled.

Isaac still insisted on being naked. He took his pamper off as soon as his feet crossed the threshold of the house. His clothes tossed here and there, shoes hidden in the cushions of the couches, socks put in the refrigerator right after he'd learned to open it. He'd been perfectly happy crawling into his father's lap to be read a bed time story, been happy to wrestle with his brother and father, happy to play peek a boo with his mother. He was happy and that was what was important.

"Anyone gonna answer?" Olivia asked looking around the empty house and finally seeing Elliot running around in the back yard. Sam was hanging on his back as Tripod ran after them, Isaac chasing them all with a stuffed bear, growling as he ran naked through the yard.

She watched as her favorite men laughed and tumbled to the ground, Elliot still in his work clothes unconcerned with them as he rolled on the grass with his boys and Tripod. The dog's tail wagged vigorously as Elliot scooped him up yelling at him playfully to protect them from Isaac. Isaac laughed and squealed and plopped on his fathers belly as Sam laid his head over his father's chest and pulled his dog tight against them all. Elliot crossed his ankles and looked at his son's. He grinned.

"Hey!" Olivia called from the deck, "What's all the noise about?" she teased walking her overly pregnant body down the steps and watching as the boys ran frantically to her and hugged her tightly.

"Mom!" Sam grinned kissing her belly, "Not too much longer?"

"Nope, not much." She laughed.

"Up!" Isaac laughed.

"Sorry, son… I can't bend over to get you, mommy's too fat." She chuckled.

Elliot stood and picked Isaac up, passing him to her and hugging her, "Hi, how was your shopping?"

"Good." She grinned, "But I missed my boys."

Isaac reached for Tripod to which Elliot helped him out of Olivia's arms and walked with her back into the house as their boys played happily in the back yard. "Casey invited us for dinner again." Olivia said as he closed the door.

"Oh." He nodded not particularly interested.

"Yeah, I'd like to go." She said, "The girls are gonna be here in two months and I'm gonna be stuck at home for a long time… I'd like to go, come with me."

Elliot exhaled and shook his head, 'no'. The same response she'd gotten from him every time she asked. The same response she'd gotten when Alex had invited them for a barbeque. She'd went with the boys; he stayed home and worked on putting the crib together.

"I'm kind of busy tonight." He told her grabbing her a bottle of water from refrigerator and handing it to her.

"Doing what?" she asked with furrowed brows, "I'm going out with Mac and Fin."

"Liar." She rolled her eyes and walked away. Not angry but not letting him think he pulled the wool over her eyes.

"Liv-"

"Hey, I agreed with Vivian and you, and I won't push you to tell me why you keep ignoring them but don't stand there and lie to me." She shrugged and walked away, "I need a shower."

He groaned and trotted to catch up with her, "Okay look, I lied." He confessed, "I'm sorry, I'm not going out with them… I just don't want to go to Casey's."

She touched his face and smiled sadly, "Okay… would you rather go out together or do you want to be alone?"

"Movie?" he suggested, "we could rent and stay in with the boys."

She smiled, "I'll stay in tonight, but Alex invited us over for a Halloween party tomorrow, and we're going." She said motioning between both of them, "The kids look cute in their costumes and they are excited about it."

"Liv-"

"You're going with me, so deal." She smiled walking away.

"Hey," Elliot smiled when she turned around, "I was in the office today, and I saw that our financial portfolio was out… anything you want to tell me?"

She smiled again and kissed him, "Nope."

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"Trick or Treat!" Sam called as Robert answered the door dressed in a toga.

"Wrick or weet!" Isaac chimed in holding a pumpkin bucket next to his brother.

"Hey!" Robert smiled at the group and called over his shoulder, "Honey, the Stabler tribe it here!"

"Tribe?" Olivia laughed, "I'm insulted."

"Don't be." Robert welcomed them in, "Tribes are cool, and especially the ones with the piercing… what are you suppose to be?" Robert asked and laughed at Olivia's costume, "The cow costume was the only thing that fit huh?"

She grinned patting the udders that stuck out from the front of the costume, "Pretty much, but it's fitting right?"

Robert laughed and was about to say something when his wife cut him off, "Ah!" Alex grinned, "Star Trek!" she exclaimed pointing to Sam and Isaac who wore 'The Next Generation' costumes, "How cute is that!" she laughed kneeling low and kissing the boys on their cheeks, "Did Robert fill up those buckets?"

"Got the goods right here." Robert laughed and motioned to Elliot, "Come on in, Captain Picard." He snickered at his red uniform, "Surprised Liv got you into that skin tight thing."

"Funny." Elliot forced a smile and shook his hand, "I and my boys happen to like the show."

"Hey," Robert held up a hand, "So do I but I can't get in a suit like that… my wife would be all over me."

"Shut up!" Alex swatted him playfully, "Come on guys, Casey and Paul are here with their pumpkin."

"Pumpkin?" Elliot furrowed his brow and then saw Casey who was dressed as Miss America complete with the tiara Elliot used to tease her about. He wanted to hug her, tell her he missed her, but he wouldn't. He held his hands out to Addison who was dressed up as a bright orange jack-o-lantern complete with a green stem on his head and green tights on his legs.

"You're a big boy." Elliot grinned genuinely and held the little boy in his arms, "Wow, you're lookin' good." He smiled and turned to his sons squatting so they could look, "He's big huh boys."

"Yeah." Sam grinned feeling Addison as Isaac peered down at the little boy and laughed.

"Mom," Sam called for her pulling on the udder of her costume, "feel how big Addison is."

"He is." She grinned and kissed Sam allowing her hand to graze Elliot's shoulder as she stood and looked at Casey and Paul, "So it's Miss America and?" she smiled at Paul who wasn't in costume.

"A science dork." Casey laughed, "He's anti costume."

"Ah," Olivia grinned, "Good to know."

"Foods ready." Alex called to the group and laughed as Olivia tried to wiggle her bulging body into a chair.

"I can't believe my gut is this big." Olivia laughed motioning at the distance between her and the table.

Elliot smiled proudly at her as he held Isaac on his lap. Elliot remained quiet favoring time with the kids rather than the group at the table. Alex had asked Olivia how he was doing; she handled the question gracefully and returned to a friendly game of Taboo. Paul had just scored a point when Olivia determined the living room was too quiet for Elliot and three boys to be playing in it.

She stood and went to check on them smiling at the group of boys, pumpkin and Terries sprawled out on the ground sound asleep draping over Elliot. She decided to let them be and returned to her game letting time pass as they talked of everything and nothing. Olivia reached back and yawned before assuming her turn, only to be interrupted by a bear chested Isaac who raised his booted foot up to his mother. "Uhh!" he motioned to the shoe and tugged on her arm.

"Off?" she asked with a smile and unzipped the boot pulling it off and releasing a chubby foot. He raised the other boot and grinned when she took it off, "Here." She told him handing him the shoes and watching him bolt, "He'll be naked in twenty seconds flat." Olivia chuckled and resumed her game.

"I thought he was sleeping." Robert laughed adjusting his toga.

"He gets hot pretty easy." Olivia explained and then resumed the game. They laughed together enjoying the company of their friendship. Olivia was starring intently at her card deciding the proper way to play this round when Alex laughed hysterically and pointed into the kitchen.

"What?" Paul asked turned to look as Casey followed her line of sight. They all chuckled at the site before them.

Olivia stood, unable to see. She rounded the counter top and looked down to see Isaac naked and sprawled out on the cool of the kitchen floor, his head resting on the balled up pants of his costume. "It's not funny." Olivia whispered squatting carefully to pick up her son from the floor, she hated that he couldn't sleep like a normal youngster. Hated that he'd been in that basement. She struggled to get to her feet with the added weight of a sleeping son but finally managed shielding him from concerned on lookers.

She darted down the hall into the spare bedroom inadvertently waking Isaac up when she closed the door behind her, "Mama." He chuckled and patted his belly.

"Yeah, honey." She whispered sitting him on the bed and kneeling in front of him, "I love you." She whispered in his ear holding back her tears, "I wish you didn't go through all of that, honey." She said caressing his face, "I wish that you didn't prefer to sleep on the floor, that you could be in your own big boy bed."

"Olivia?" Casey called softly into the room, "Can I come in?"

Olivia wiped quickly at her tears, "Yeah." She exhaled and reached into the diaper bag as Casey perched herself on the edge of the bed.

"You okay?" Casey asked.

"Yeah." Olivia shook her head wrestling Isaac to get a pamper on him.

"You don't look okay."

"Thanks Case."

"You know what I mean." Casey smiled rubbing her shoulders, "He's just a little guy, we weren't making fun of him, it was cute."

"I know." Olivia exhaled, "He just… the reason… I think he does that because of the basement, when it gets too hot, he lies on the floor or takes his clothes off and lies on the floor, I just want him to be normal you know?"

"He is." Casey smiled softly, "He'll come around with this, just like he learned that you were his mom."

"He hasn't called Elliot Dad, and it's stressing Elliot out." Olivia confessed standing Isaac up on the floor and letting him bolt.

"He's been distant with us." Casey said, "Are you sure we haven't offended him?"

"I don't know what his problem is," Olivia exhaled, "Just about the only person he's talking to is Mac, he's got all this overtime he's pulling, and I mean… we're in therapy Casey," Olivia exhaled in frustration, "Isn't that suppose to make things better."

"Before there's peace there has to be war, Olivia… how's the counseling going?"

"Good." Olivia confessed, "We're getting through some really hard stuff and it feels good to walk along each other, but, this one thing, this one anger… he refuses to let me in, and it eats at him and it is so damn frustrating!" she groaned slapping the edge of the bed.

"Hell come around, he always does." Casey assured her, "Don't give up on him, 'cause when you two finally come out of this, it'll be worth it, I promise."

"You still in therapy?" Olivia asked resting her jaw in her palm.

"Yep." Casey grinned, "But, Paul and I… we keep getting better and better."

Olivia shook her head and smiled, "We're getting better, we are, it's just… five steps forward and one step back."

"Well," Casey smiled softly, "I seem to remember a time when you were three forwards and two back… sounds like you guys are coming a long way."

"Yeah," Olivia exhaled, "But I miss him… you know…when I didn't have to beg him to come with our friends, I miss him, I miss that aspect of us."

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Elliot closed his eyes hearing his wife's confession. The mounting anger he had towards their friends for things he could never bear to tell his wife was taking a toll on her and he hated himself for it. He exhaled and pushed the door open acting as if he'd just come to the door instead of having camped out for the entire conversation.

"Olivia?" Elliot smiled softly, "You alright or is this the beautiful ladies only room?" he asked making it a point to look at Casey.

"I'll step out." Casey smiled standing to her feet and walking past Elliot who grabbed her gently by the arm and embraced her warmly.

"You're son is getting big," He whispered in her ear, "Bring him by more often?"

Casey separated from him and looked at Olivia who was equally confused, "Um, yeah." Casey smiled softly and left the room.

"What was that all about?" Olivia asked standing carefully to her feet.

He exhaled and narrowed his eyes at her, "I love you."

She grinned, "I know."

He closed the distance between them and framed her face, her cheeks still stained with tears, her nose still red, he kissed her and hugged her tightly, "I love you."

She looked up at him, the absurdity of the situation, her in her cow costume, him as a Trekie. She waggled her brows at him, "Want to take me home, Captain Picard?"

"You callin' me bald?"

"No, but you've got an amazing butt in these pants." She smiled and kissed him again, her voice more serious as she parted, "Take me home El?"

He grinned, "Trick or treat?"

"Definitely treat."

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"Tired." Sam groaned rolling over to his side as soon as Elliot put him in his bed.

"Get some sleep then." Elliot chuckled patting his back and tucking him in.

Olivia pulled the blanket up over Isaac who slept peacefully, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth and curling to his stuffed animal as Tripod stretched and nuzzled under the covers next to Sam.

"I think you owe me a treat." Elliot whispered wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm not giving you anything until I get out of this cow suit." She grinned and walked with him out of the room.

"Maybe… you could let me get you out of it?" he asked playfully.

"Sorry, El, but making out with you in a cow suit isn't gonna do anything for my libido." She laughed, "But, maybe you can do me a favor?"

"Anything." He grinned.

"Make out with me in these pants?" she asked snapping the waist band of his Trekie uniform.

"I don't think I have a choice." He laughed, "They're so tight I don't think I can get out of them."

"See," Olivia grinned seductively and wrapped her arms around his neck, "that's ashamed 'cause Vivian told me this really interesting thing about making out naked."

His brows shot up, "I think I can manage to get them off… with your help of course."

She grinned and walked away.

"Where you going?" he asked playfully.

"I'm not making out with you in this get up." She laughed and was surprised when he took her by her hips and lowered her gently onto the bed, "El!" She laughed, "Let me change."

"No." he grinned letting her sit up for the soul purpose of reaching behind her and lowering the zipper, "I'm an impatient man when it comes to you."

She laughed running her hands over her muscles, "This is embarrassing for me."

He smiled, "Don't be embarrassed, you make a cute cow."

She stared in shock, "I can't believe you just said that." She laughed sitting up, "Let me change."

"Liv."

"I'm changing." She smiled and locked herself in the restroom only to return several minutes later clothed in a towel.

Elliot grinned, "I like that… it's better."

She laughed "I thought I'd make it up to you."

He leaned back on the bed, resting his weight on his elbows, his naked chest flexing under his weight, "I kept the pants on."

"I see that." She whispered leaning her thighs against the bed so his legs were on either side of her.

"Want to make out with a trekie?" he grinned.

She dropped her towel revealing a beautiful pregnant form. His grinned gave way to slack jaw and awe.

"Want to make out with a pregnant lady?" she asked.

He sat up and kissed her neck softly, "You have an amazing body."

She chuckled and whispered in his ear, "Well, you better help this amazing body onto that bed… I feel like a beached walrus."

He chuckled and helped her get into a comfortable position before he kissed her playfully, ran his hands over her breast and ribs before cupping her backside and pulling her close to him. She separated with a grin and nuzzled his nose with hers, "You should do a sexy dance and loose the pants for me."

"I thought you wanted to take them off of me."

"Do you really want to watch me struggle to get off the bed?"

He grinned and stood to his feet blushing, and unbuckling the pants.

"Hey!" she scolded and tickled his abdomen with her foot, "That's not sexy… do a sexy dance, come on, you haven't danced for me in a long time."

He blushed against and took a few steps back, "You'd better not tell anyone about this, Liv."

"Lips are sealed." She grinned resting her weight on her elbows and watching him as his smile increased as his hips begin to move slowly, his hands on his waist band as he stripped for his wife. She laughed playfully that he was willing to do this for her. He managed to wiggle his way out of the pants, oh so seductively and make his way back to her body stretching along side of her. "Thank you." She whispered kissing his lips softly.

"You can thank me with your own dance." He grinned against her mouth, "I'd really like to see it, I know you move your hips way better than me."

"I'm not even attempting something like that while I'm pregnant."

"I can take a rain check." He chuckled and draped his leg over her, "Come here." He whispered opening her mouth with his thumb and gently coaxing hers out to caress one another without lips actually meeting. It had become one of her favorite kisses since Vivian instructed them on it. She had a few new favorites. So did he.

"Make me cum, El." She whispered into his ear as his hands grazed her back.

He chuckled, "I thought you just wanted to make out naked?"

She framed his face and kissed his lips, "That was just a ruse to get you naked."

"Ah," he laughed and gently caressed her breast as he took her lips back to his and sucked softly on her lower one she moaned against him, her hands pulling his hips as close to her as her belly would allow it.

"Anxious?" he grinned against her.

"Yeah." She breathed shameless, "I want you."

"Tell me what you want." He whispered thrusting his hips gently into her, "Tell me so I can give it to you."

She locked her eyes with his and guided his hand to the juncture of her thighs, "I told you… make me cum." She whispered and gasped as soon as his fingertip grazed her.

"You got to breath." He laughed, "I mean, I know I take your breath away-"

"Shut up." She smiled holding onto his neck and focusing purely on his touch.

He watched as the power of his finger against her caused her lips to separate, her face to crumple in bliss and her neck fall back as her fingers dug into his body, holding on as her moans turned to whimpers feeling that glorious sensation build in her body. He slipped his finger into her and she buried her face into his neck, her hot and labored breath falling over his skin, he felt himself rise instantly.

He moved faster searching out that one fantastic spot and smiled when she yelped and moaned out loud into their room. She felt the warmth of her orgasm and smiled as he brought her closer, "I want you inside of me." She whispered against him.

"Let me make you cum first." He told her and did just that, smiling as she screamed. He moved quickly and kissed her, muffling her release. She panted as he lowered her back to her side, "I love how you sound… I love that I can do that to you." He whispered as she rested contently on his chest.

"I love that you can do it to me." She whispered and looked up at him, "But I also like it when you make love to me." She grinned and sat up.

"What do you have in mind?" he asked with a grin.

"Did I tell you that Vivian gave me a copy of the Kama Sutra when I went in for my personal session?"

His eyes went wide, "No… have you been reading it?"

"Absolutely." She whispered sitting up and hooking her finger in a come hither fashion.

He crawled over to her sitting in front of her and draping her legs over his thighs so that she could lock her ankles behind him. He smiled at her confidence, this confidence that always came after meeting with Vivian on her own. Sometimes she told him what they talked about, sometimes she laid in their room and cried for hours, and some times she asked him to be with her, sometimes she wanted to be alone.

He kissed her and laid her down onto the mattress and ran his hands over her body, he took her hand and rested it at his erection, "Guide me." He whispered and offered a closed-eyed grin as she guided him into her body. He started with the tiniest of thrust using her thighs for leverage. She arched her body up, he had full access to her breast which he caressed skillfully hearing her moan. He moved his hips into her and laughed, "Did you just say something?"

"What? No! Keep going."

He did and then suddenly steeled when they hear the bright voice from the door way, "Boo!"

Elliot stared at a mortified wife. He grabbed for a pillow and put it over him as he quickly rolled off of her.

She gasped the she was suddenly exposed in front of her young and very much sighted son. She snatched the pillow that Elliot was holding over his chest as if he had something to hide. She covered herself quickly as Elliot reached for the blanket at the end of the bed and drew it over both of them, "Why… why aren't you asleep, Son?" Elliot stammered.

"Boo!" Isaac laughed hiding at the foot of the bed and then bouncing up with a grin, "Boo!"

Olivia covered her face and laughed in both embarrassment and joy. "He's naked." Olivia shook her head, "He must have gotten warm." She exhaled and reached for the towel surprised when Isaac simply raised it up to her and climbed on the chair to climb on the bed.

She wrapped the towel around her tightly and slipped out of the bed ensuring her towel covered her completely as she retrieved her robe and tossed boxers to Elliot who struggled to put them on under the blanket.

"Come on Baby." She whispered taking Isaac's hand and leading him down the hall to which he stopped and tugged his hand free running back to the bed.

"Hey, Naked." Olivia laughed, "It's late and your daddy and I are trying to… sleep." She winked at Elliot who sat up with a chuckle. "Come on, let's go night night."

"No." Isaac shook his head and sat down on the floor on Elliot's side of the room.

"Stubborn." Olivia grinned and carefully bent low to her son, "Come on Son." She smiled extending her hand, "Let's put a pamper on and get you back to bed."

"No Mama!" He screeched pulling away and raising his hands to his father, "Up."

Olivia arched her brows in surprise and smiled, "I'll go get a diaper." She laughed and walked away to retrieve one.

Elliot placed his naked son on his abdomen and grinned, "Hey."

Isaac patted his belly and squealed in happiness plopping up and down on his abdomen and grinning, "Uhh!" Isaac pointed to Elliot and smiled, touching his nose, "Nuze!"

"Yep, what's your name, son?"

Isaac pawed his chest, "Saac!"

Olivia laughed entering the room and sitting on the bed, "Come on, let's get changed, Isaac." She said gently as Elliot sat up to hand him to her. He cried once he spotted the diaper. He kicked and grabbed for his father.

"Shh." Olivia tried to sooth him as soon as she took him and laid him gently on his back.

He cried and rubbed his watery eyes with his fist hiccupping and gasping for air. She tucked the diaper under him only to have him roll to his side and reach for Elliot as he cried. She attempted to pull him back to which he cried harder and reached further for Elliot, "Dada!" he screeched and Olivia steeled letting Isaac go. He crawled quickly to his dad who stared at him in shock.

"Did he… did he just call me, Dada?" Elliot asked taking his son into his arms.

Olivia grinned, "Yeah, yeah he did." She whispered sitting next to him and looking down at their son who rested comfortably in his fathers arms.

"Wow." Elliot grinned looking down at his son, "Liv," He whispered holding back tears and stroking Isaac's cheek, "Liv, I'm dada."

She smiled and kissed his cheek, "You've always been."


	34. Chapter 34 Accusation

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 34

Accused

A/N: Falcon... it got away from me. But don't worry, this is only part one to this chap.

Elliot scooted away from her naked form in shame and turned his back to her. His body offered him no cooperation no matter how much he wanted to bury himself in the comfort of his wife. He panted, exhausted from his attempts, from his failure, "I'm sorry." He muttered starring at the wall.

"El," she whispered and gently wrapped her arm around him, "you're exhausted, I told you to rest that we didn't have to… it's okay, how many times do I have to tell you that?" she asked stroking his arm lightly, "It's okay."

He remained quiet and exhaled closing his eyes and gripping her hand, "I don't know what's wrong… I'm tired, but I've been more tired than this before."

"El," she kissed his neck softly, "Is it me? Am I doing something wrong that makes it… uninteresting?"

He squeezed her hand again and turned to face her, his hand on her cheek, "No. You're perfect."

She bit her bottom lip and tilted her head to the side, "You've had some pretty long days with all of the overtime… relax tonight, huh?" she offered, "Just… lay here with me and rest?"

He exhaled, "I want to make love to you."

She kissed him tenderly on the mouth, "Rest."

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She couldn't identify the noise that woke her from a sound sleep. "El, what's that noise?" she whispered, when there was no response she opened her eyes to see the side of the bed empty. She rubbed her face, heard the sounds growing louder. She slipped out of bed and padded to the direction of the sound coming form the restroom.

She figured he'd been so stressed out that he'd literally been sick about it. The door was ajar. She was about to knock when she heard a laborious grunt coming from within, she pushed the door open gently, not wanting to startle him if he was vomiting. What she saw startled _her_.

Elliot, her husband that had just told her that his inability to gain an erection was not her fault, sat naked on the floor of their restroom leaning against the wall, his length in his hand. His eyes tightly shut as his hips moved involuntarily, his teeth clenched as he stroked himself harder, groaning when release finally came.

She stared at him in shock. It wasn't that he was masturbating that necessarily bothered her, it was the time frame. She hadn't been able to arouse him enough yet, here he sat satiated and panting with closed eyes, in a restroom instead of her arms. She couldn't will herself to leave, to give him his privacy.

He sensed her as soon as he floated back down into himself. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at her, "Liv-"

She swallowed and looked away, unwilling to show her tears, not with this. "I almost believed you… when you said it wasn't me."

"Liv. Wait." He scurried to his feet and reached for a towel, running his hands under the faucet as she walked out of the restroom, out of the room and into the living room. "Damnit." He hissed grabbing for clean boxers and a shirt. He clumsily dressed himself as he hurriedly walked down the hallway, "Olivia." He whispered knowing they were closer to their sons' room, she'd done it on purpose, positioned herself near their boys so they couldn't talk about this. Self preservation. She was great at it.

"Liv."

"Don't." She whispered shaking her head, begging herself not to cry. Not to let this hurt this much.

"Liv, it's not you." He whispered kneeling in front of her.

She looked away, "Elliot I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" he asked softly, "You've got nothing to be embarrassed about," he blushed bright red, "I'm the one that got caught."

"Why?" she shook her head, "I don't understand, I've never denied you."

He cupped her face in his hands. "I know Liv."

"Does it feel different? Different from me?" She asked tilting her head and looking at him with such intensity and vulnerability that he wanted to shrink away.

"It's…" he shook his head, "It's less… satisfy-" he stopped when her brows shot up to her hairline.

"Gee, that's comforting." She shook her head and moved to stand, "I can't satisfy my own husband but his hand, which is apparently _less_ satisfying, can…. Thanks for the ego stroke, Elliot." She exhaled and walked away, "G'night."

"Liv, please… don't go to bed angry." He pleaded.

"I'm not angry!" she hissed choking on her own emotion, "I'm not." She reiterated before walking away.

She felt him slip into bed next to her. It had been over an hour and she still couldn't get herself to stop crying. To accept that he just needed a release any way he could get it. But why not with her, his wife?

"Olivia." He whispered her name and dared to move closer to her. She didn't move. She craved him, wanted him near her, but didn't understand why he didn't want her. She'd gained weight but it was from the pregnancy, she gained glasses, but he'd thought they were hot on her. She didn't understand and it added to the hurt. To see that look of pleasure and satisfaction on his face and know that it didn't come from her… hurt.

"Can I touch you?" he whispered.

"Please don't." she whispered wiping at her tears.

He knew her. Knew she needed him to touch her. He also knew she was pregnant and could probably kill him if she wanted to. He took in a breath and wrapped his arm around her pulling her close to him. Her sob almost broke him two when she covered his forearm with her hand and tightened his embrace.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He whispered.

"It's not a big deal." She managed.

"I saw your face, Liv… it hurt you, I'm so sorry, but you have to know, I think you're sexy and I want you so ba-"

"How can you want me… and not respond to me? How can you want me and… have to do that to come?"

He furrowed his brow, "I don't know, but… if it helps lessen the sting… I was imagining you."

She doesn't know if that was just added insult or if it was an ego stroke, she doesn't really care because ultimately this hurt. "It's not a big deal." She whispered again, "Don't feel like you have to explain."

"Liv… please, don't shut me out. Haven't you ever-"

"Not with you right beside me, no." she whispered unable to find her voice. He understands what she's saying, it wasn't necessarily the actual act that bothered her, but it was the fact the only hours previous she couldn't even get him erect enough to enter her. He understands what she's told him. She would never have felt the need to masturbate when she could have had him.

"I didn't choose it over you, Honey… you've got to believe that."

She rolled over and looked at him, searched his face for honesty and came up with confusion. He loved her she knew it, beyond all of this drama that seemed to control their lives, beyond all of this hell, he loved her and she knew it.

He was surprised when she draped her body over him careful to not put pressure on her belly, she splayed her hand over his cheek and kissed him long and deep and as seductively as she could managed before he tore away in need of breath, "Let me try again." She whispered over his lips.

"Liv… if I can't… I don't want you to take it personal, I don-"

"Let me try." She insisted and locked her gaze with his as she moved her hand into his boxers. He kept eye contact with her the whole time, wanting her to know that he needed her, that he desired her, and that he craved to be inside of her. He brought his head up to kiss her to which she pulled away and shook her head, "No." she whispered, "Just… look at me." She told him. A plea disguised as instruction.

He did just that, looked at her as she maneuvered over him. He could feel himself in her hand, hard, thick and heavy and here, starring at his wife, he felt like a man, felt like maybe he was worth something for her to need this connection with him. He groaned as she moved faster and sent him spinning out of control, his fingers griping her waist almost ruthlessly as he closed his eyes tightly and clenched his jaw, teeth exposed as his head pulled back dipping below his shoulders, he came in one jerking motion long and hard.

she watched his body, almost in awe as he held the arch in his back, tightened his muscles and suddenly let out a shuddered breath sinking slowly back to the mattress.

She rubbed the evidence of his release over his shaft, watched him hiss and the contact and grow silent. His only noise, his panting. She kissed him gently, waited for his eyes to open before she fixed her eyes on his again and brought her fingers to her mouth sucking teasingly on one before lowering herself to kiss his mouth. He moaned and she smiled pulling away, "Thank you."

He grinned, "No… thank you."

She smiled almost in victory and nestled next to him again, "I love you."

"I love you too… and I'm sorry for what happened, I really am."

"Don't be." She whispered and kissed his chest, "We we're suppose to cast my belly tonight."

He chuckled, "You just did me in… I just want to lay here with you, is that okay?"

"I think… I just want to be here with you too."

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Elliot placed his work bag in the foyer closet and surveyed his sons sitting on the couch, Sam intently listening to the television his naked brother sprawled out asleep on the cushion opposite, "Sam?" Elliot called softly and looked at his watch, "Sam it's four hours past your bedtime."

"Isaac had a nightmare…Spanish." He grinned motioning to the Spanish soap opera he was listening to. He felt for the remote and turned the television off.

"Spanish, huh?"

"Yeah." He giggled.

"You know your Mom would pitch a fit if she caught you watching a soap opera."

"No Sponge Bob this late." He shrugged.

"So, a nightmare?" Elliot asked sitting on the cushion between his boys, "He told you that?"

"No." Sam told him climbing into his lap and resting his head against his shoulder, an unfamiliar scent striking his nose, "But he woke up crying and Mom is so tired that I don't think she heard him so…I helped him into my bed, without your permission… are you upset?"

"No." Elliot smiled against his hair, "How did you two end up out here?"

"I don't like that he takes his clothes off, Dad." Sam exhaled, "He woke up again and was squirming around and he upset Tripod, 'cause Tri was trying to sleep too… he took his pamper off so me and Tripod brought him out here… just in case, 'cause I don't want to hurt him and I didn't like him naked in my bed, so I brought him out here, 'cause I didn't want to wake Mom up… she's super sleepy."

"Yeah." Elliot smiled and touched the cool of Isaac's leg, "She's been super sleepy hasn't she… that's because she's super pregnant." He chuckled and furrowed his brow, "Son, Isaac is pretty chilly-"

"I brought the blanket out but when I checked on him… he always kicks it off, I put the bags, like Mom has me use in the trash can, I put one under him, 'cause he won't keep his pamper on."

Elliot grinned, "Good thinking… I would have forgotten."

Sam grinned, "I'm a big brother… so I have to know things like that."

Elliot chuckled and kissed him again, "Come on big brother, no more novellas for you, let's go rack out." He laughed and picked Isaac's sleeping form up as he looked at Tripod who's eyes were red from lack of sleep, "Come on Grumpy." Elliot smiled and led them all to their room. His boys, the whole lot of them, even the dog, boys. Elliot smiled; this was a man's house with two more boys on the way. "In you go, Handsome." Elliot whispered pulling the comforter back and letting Sam snuggle into the comforter as he laid Isaac down and put a pamper on his body before tucking him in. A gentle kiss given before returning to Sam and ensuring he and his dog were properly tucked away, "No more midnight novellas, huh?' Elliot teased.

"Deal." Sam responded with a yawn and turned to his side curling around his dog and promptly falling asleep.

Elliot moved through the house as quietly as possible, watching the clock and groaning that he would have to be up in a matter of a few short hours. He'd been getting behind in the chores around the house since he was away from the house on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Olivia had been increasingly tired and anxious, so much in fact that she was no longer able to stay up and wait for him to come home. There were times, like last night, when she'd fallen asleep at the dinner table, times when he literally watched her eyes cross in exhaustion as she bathed Isaac at night.

His eyes were crossing right now. He transferred the load of wet clothes from the washer to the dryer, filled the washer with a new load and took Olivia shirts from the hanger that he'd hung to dry that morning. They typically shared house hold chores, but with the complications of this pregnancy most fell on Elliot's shoulders, not because she refused to do them but because he refused to let her. Insisted she rest at all times. This added stressor of household chores in addition to work made him appreciate her all the more. He doesn't understand how she does this and manages the kids, makes time for him and still keeps herself beautiful. Although she may disagree with the later. He knows otherwise.

He watched her sleep. It had been so uncomfortable for her to sleep in the last couple of weeks. Pillows we're tucked under her belly for support when she tried to lie on her side. More often than not she slept inclined, such was the case tonight. He hated himself for what he was doing. It went against who he was, what they were. He knew he'd loose her respect both as detective and wife. Yet, somehow, he got himself wrapped up in it, leaving work and telling her that he was still there. Deceit. It would kill her if she found out. She'd find out. He knew it.

He perched himself softly on the bed and rubbed her belly gently, a tender kiss placed over her camisole. He rested his ear against her abdomen and stilled listening for any movement. He smiled feeling her hand at the nape of his neck, "Hey." She whispered.

"Hey." He smiled and turned his head to look at her.

She furrowed her brows, "What happened to your work clothes, El?"

_Damn detective radar._

He kissed her mouth stalling for time, stalling for an excuse, "I spilled coffee on my self at work."

"Clumsy." She smiled sleepily, "Come to bed?"

"We we're gonna cast you're belly tonight."

"I know, but you had overtime," she whispered letting her eyelids fall slowly again, "its okay, we can do it tomorrow."

"I want to do it tonight, Liv." He whispered watching her intently, "I just want to touch you tonight." He told her, a certain plea written on his face that confused her.

"You always touch me." She smiled. The facts were that since having started their sessions with Vivian, they'd found any and every reason to touch each other. Innocent touch…not so innocent touch.

"You can sleep while I do it… I just… want to do it."

She smiled softly, "I can't sleep while you put warm water on me… that's an instant pee trigger."

"Then talk to me?"

"El," she yawned, "I'm so exhausted and you have to be up in six hours, we can-"

"Please?" he whispered softly covering her hand with his, "I know you're tired but… please?" he asked searching her face.

She smiled and nodded, "Everything is on the kitchen counter."

He smiled appreciatively and nuzzled her nose with his before kissing her gently, "Thank you." He whispered and left to retrieve the items and came back to her, placing a large bowl of warm water and flour mixture next to the bed. "We're you looking forward to this tonight?" he asked her softly.

"Yeah." She smiled, "I thought you'd be home earlier though so I put everything out."

"I'm sorry, Liv." He looked away and shook his head, "I got tied up."

"What were you working on?" she asked genuinely interested.

"Helping Mac with some stuff on a case."

"How's he doing?" she asked sitting up and removing the camisole for him.

"Good… he's got more than a chip on his shoulder though… he's got a boulder." He said covering her breasts with a towel to avoid the chill from the October embrace.

"Cap, say's he's got baggage… be patient with him." She said tucking towels at her side to catch moisture.

He smiled and dipped the strips of newspaper into the cloudy mixture and streamed the excess off, "Ready?"

"Yeah." She smiled and flinched at the change in temperature as he smoothed it over her belly, "Hmm… I've got a pretty big belly, this is gonna take awhile." She chuckled, "Did you check on the boys when you got in, I put them down but… I haven't gotten up since we went to bed."

Elliot chuckled, "Sam was watching a Tele Novella when I came home, and Isaac was sprawled eagle on the couch, naked as a jay bird.'

She groaned, "I didn't hear them, I'm sorry." She shook her head and covered her face, "I should have been watching them what if Sam had hurt himself?"

"Liv?" Elliot smiled adding more wet strips to her belly, "They we're fine, Sam didn't want to wake you because he said you were tired today… were you?"

"I fell asleep on the deck… I um…don't be mad?"

"Okay." He smiled softly and kept adding layers to her belly.

"I was late picking him up from school… I slept right through and Isaac wasn't exactly waking up either, Alex had to call me." She said exhaling, "If that's not bad parenting I don't know what is."

He laughed, and touched her face, inadvertently leaving a trail of make shift plaster, "You're not a bad parent, Liv, you're tired and exhausted and running after a toddler all day while you're preparing for the arrival of two more, and worrying about a nine year old… it happens, it's not a big deal… was he upset?"

"No." she smiled, "and, I don't know, maybe that was good to find out… he normally would have panicked, but Alex said he just came into the classroom and waited. Apparently he was a little worried at first but she got him to relax."

"He's getting more confident." Elliot smiled rubbing his hand over her belly, the first layer of soaking newspaper finally complete as he prepared for the next.

"You're tired and you manage." She whispered covering his hands with hers as he worked the wet newspaper, "You're pulling all of this overtime and still picking up my slack around the house, you're getting Sam ready for school and breakfast and all the stuff that I just don't have the energy to do… can't Cragen give you a week without overtime?" she asked rubbing his knuckles with her thumb, "You're tired."

He just wanted away from the subject of overtime, "I'm fine, Liv." He whispered and squeezed her hand softly, "And the only reason why I'm managing is because I have a beautiful wife to come home to." He smiled guiltily and continued making the cast.

"I don't know what's harder to believe," Olivia smiled, "the fact that you read this in Martha Stewart's Magazine, or the fact that you actually bought the magazine."

He grinned, "I thought it was a cool idea, we'll have a permanent reminder of them before they ever got here." He laughed, "And I need something to prove just how big you got."

"Shut up!" she laughed and slapped his arm playfully before finally settling against the pillows and watching him in silence. There was a tremendous stress written over his body and she wasn't sure if it was just tiredness or the rage that he suppressed, still unwilling to confide in her or Vivian, but as he made the final pass over her belly, soothing the wrinkles of the paper strips she saw something more. She saw guilt.

"Wanna talk?" she asked softly as he dried his hands on a hand towel.

"I thought that was what we were doing." He laughed gathering up the unused strips.

"We weren't talking about anything that matters." She told him as he stood, "I was kind of hoping you'd tell me why you look like the cat that swallowed the canary."

He smiled softly and exhaled, bending low to kiss her forehead, "Get some sleep. I'll take that off of you in the morning. I'm gonna jump in the shower."

She exhaled and watched him leave to clean what he'd used. She lay in bed unable to move due to the blob of wet paper covering her. He was keeping something from her, and it was more than his rage.

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"Eww," Sam groaned, "Dad that feels gross."

"It's paint and it's fine." He smiled squirting a generous coat onto his son's hand.

"Dad, I don't like being dirty." He groaned, "Please wash it off."

"Sam," Elliot chuckled, "Its fine, I painted all this morning on your mom while she slept… 'cause she's super tired."

"She didn't wake up?" Sam asked as Elliot carefully led him into the bedroom where Olivia had since joined the land of the living.

"Well, she's awake now." Elliot chuckled helping him on the bed, "Don't put you're hands anywhere until I tell you."

"Kay." Sam furrowed his brow in concentration, "Mornin', Mom."

She furrowed her brow in confusion. She'd went to bed with a pasty wet covering over her belly only to wake to neutral tone painted over the since hardened newspaper and her son kneeling next to her with painted hands, "Mornin, Cutie." She said groggily and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, "What's going on?" she asked in a raspy voice.

"I'm just adding some finishing touches to your belly." Elliot smiled taking hold of Sam's wrists and whispering in his ear, "Ready?"

"Yeah." Sam matched the tone of his voice.

Neither Olivia nor the lack of energy her body possessed could stop the grin from forming as Elliot placed Sam's hands delicately on the now hard covering of her belly. She covered both sets of hands with hers and smiled at Elliot a silent thank you without a word.

He smiled back at her and instructed Sam, "Straight up, don't smudge." He said and waiting for Olivia to remove her hands. She let her fingers linger over Elliot's for several seconds searching his face and speaking to him silently. She removed her hands and watched Elliot take her son to be cleaned.

She laughed, when several minutes later he came in with a sleeping and very much naked Isaac.

"I figured it'd be easier if he were asleep." Elliot chuckled and lowered his son carefully to her belly, supporting his body along his forearm as he gently pressed his hands one by one to either side of her belly.

"His hands have gotten so big." She whispered running her fingers over his tiny hand, "he's so big."

Elliot pulled his hand up carefully and affectionately ran his finger along Olivia's face, "It's okay, Liv… we missed some stuff, but, he's safe now, he's home."

She smiled weakly and nodded, "Yeah, you're right."

"I'll be right back." He smiled and returned several minutes later with a small pale of water and paint.

"When did you get so artsy?"

Elliot laughed taking her hand into his, "Damn Martha Stewart."

She chuckled then let her eyes widen as he grabbed a paint brush, "What are you doing?"

He stared at her as if it were obvious, "I'm going to paint you're hand."

She chuckled covering her face with her free hand and then looked at him sharply, "El."

"What?" he asked innocently as he gently stroked her palm.

"Did you put paint on the boys like this?" she asked raising her brow knowing he was doing this just to turn her on.

"Nope… I just squeezed paint in their hands, but you… you I will gladly take the time to tease." He smiled and locked eyes with her as he ran the brush delicately over her palms, "So… I was reading this hand out thing that Vivian gave us."

"Yeah?" Olivia breathed swallowing the arousal she felt. Finding it useless.

"It said that palms were pretty erogenous."

"Oh." She whispered and nodded, "I wouldn't know." She tried to tease, tried to make him think that what he was doing wasn't making her reel.

"Oh," he grinned, "Then maybe I should-"

She hissed in breath and arched as much as the molding over her belly would let her, "Okay, I give."

"Exactly." He smiled in victory and coated her other hand.

"You did that on purpose knowing I couldn't do anything in this getup."

"Yep." He smiled and kissed her on the mouth, surprised when she rested her forearms over his shoulders, locking her wrist and kissing him back as seductively as she could before letting go and simply smiling at him.

"Payback." She winked and raised her hands, "Where?"

"Where you normally touch the babies."

"I have a spot?" she asked, "I didn't know that."

He grinned, "Yeah, right here, you always touch them right here." He said placing her hands in a protective circle, one over the top and one over the bottom. "Sam always touches you where his hands were, and Isaac… well Isaac just does his own thing so his hand prints went anywhere." He chuckled.

"You really thought about this." She whispered as his hands covered her's applying soft pressure.

He smiled, "You're so good with the nursery and stuff… I wanted something in the nursery from me."

She grinned, "I really like this."

"Thank Martha."

"Screw Martha." Olivia smiled, "This was you… the prints, I like it."

He smiled and passed her a damp towel to clean her hands. He stood to his feet and turned to leave.

"El!" She called him quickly.

"Yeah?"

"You."

"What?" he shook his head, "What about me?"

"Your hands… what about you?"

He sat softly next to her, "You want mine on there?"

She arched her brows, "Duh! Why wouldn't I?" she asked with a smile.

He furrowed his brow and she saw the guilt strike through his face before he simply squeezed a fair amount of paint in his hands, and began to rub them together to spread the paint. She covered his hands with hers and rubbed his palms together watching the shame fall over him from something as simple as her touch, "Hey," she whispered and paused until he looked up at her, "I love you."

He nodded almost imperceptibly and smiled to himself as he gently laid his hands over her belly, her hands finding their way over his, "You're a good man." She whispered.

_No I'm not. You won't respect me._

"You have to take the Mustang to the shop today." He whispered and cleared his throat as he carefully withdrew his hands and cleaned them on the towel.

She exhaled knowing he still wasn't about to budge, "Something wrong with it?"

"It stalls when I come to a light."

She groaned, "Never had problems with my old one… bought the computerized crap and it starts to break down…I'll take it in."

"Okay." He smiled and nodded to the cast, "Ready for you're freedom?"

"Yeah." She laughed, "Please, get this off of me, I want to move."

He laughed and very carefully removed the molding from her belly, holding it up so she could see the final out come. Her hand prints and his in a strong blue, Sam's a delicate pink that she was almost sure Elliot groaned about and then there was Isaac's rebel red. She grinned, "Thank you so much."

He rested it on the floor to let it dry, sat back on the bed and kissed her naked belly, "I love you."

She traced his hairline with her fingers, "Then talk to me. Please?"

He closed his eyes and furrowed his brows as if wanting to offer a confession but warring with him self as to whether or not he should. He kissed her belly again and stood to walk out, "Isaac's still asleep, I'll take Sam to school."

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"Can you finish the work today or should I take a cab?" Olivia asked the young mechanic in front of her.

"I can't do it at all this week, it'll prob-"

"Olivia?" An older voice echoed from the back, a grin over a worn face, "Olivia Benson. Oh my, I thought I recognized you're voice."

"Mr. Gethering?" Olivia grinned and raised her brows in pleasant surprise, "Wow! It's been, what, fifteen-twenty years?" She asked embracing him warmly careful not to smash Isaac in her arms.

"It truly has been." He smiled at her, "How is you're mother?"

Olivia flinched but quickly recovered, "Um… she passed a few years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, I want you to meet my son." She changed the subject quickly when she'd seen the hurt on his face.

"And what might your name be little fellow?"

"Saac!" Isaac grinned.

Olivia smiled, "Isaac."

The older man's green eyes sparkled at the toddler, "He's a strapping young boy isn't he?" he smiled and ruffled Isaac's hair before looking apologetically at Olivia, "I saw the news… I'm sorry I never got in contact with you."

Olivia smiled, "Mr. Gethering, its okay… you we're there for me growing up. You've done you're part and you didn't even have too." She told him softly, "We don't think about the news and what happened, we try not too," she said and tapped Isaac's chest wither finger, "don't' we Honey?"

"We'll have your car done by tomorrow Morning; you'll use mine in the meantime." He told her as he fished out his keys from his pocket.

"I thought the mechanic couldn't do it?" she asked in confusion.

"He can't do it for some average shmoe off the street, but he'll do it for you or he'll stand in the unemployment line."

She laughed, "Same old Gethering."

The older man cupped her cheek and smiled, "Same beautiful little girl."

"I don't know about little anymore." She laughed glancing down at her belly.

"When is this one due?"

Olivia chuckled, "They're do anytime."

"Twins?" he grinned showing older teeth.

"Yeah… twins usually come up to a month early I've read, so my husband and I just say any day now."

He grinned again and griped her shoulder warmly, "Same beautiful girl always having her nose in a book."

"You taught me well Mr. Gethering." She assured him.

He handed her the keys to his vehicle and motioned for her to follow him, "I loved your mother but she just couldn't give herself to me."

"I know." Olivia whispered following him, "Mom… she, um-"

He turned and looked at Olivia, "She's gone, Olivia… no need to defend her anymore."

She exhaled and shook her head, "Thank you Mr. Gethering."

He smiled, "You never could call me Gary, could you?"

She shrugged, "Mom was too dumb to have kept you around-"

"You wanted her too?" he asked almost surprised.

She grinned and rested her hand on his shoulder, "You we're the only one I wanted her to keep around Mr. Gethering."

He smiled and looked at the 69 Impala, "She's just been restored, go easy on her, I know how you like to keep you're foot in the carburetor."

She laughed and adjusted Isaac, "I have precious cargo now… it's the speed limit for me."

He grinned, "Get what you need out of your car and well fix her up for you. You can pick it up tomorrow morning."

She smiled "Thanks Mr. Gethering."

"No problem."

"No, I mean… for everything. I don't think I ever got to say that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia popped the trunk of the mustang after strapping Isaac's car seat into the back of the Impala. She smiled to herself remembering how Mr. Gethering would enlist her help in working on her mother's car when it broke down. He'd been a good man to her. A father figure that she never talked to anyone about, because when her mother left him, it devastated her… more so then her own mother's death.

Olivia furrowed her brow at Elliot's duffel bag in the back of the mustang. He must have forgotten to take it out. She opened it to see if she should drop it by the precinct. What she found confused her. She reached in and pulled out his dress shirt that he'd worn to work on Tuesday; his tie and slacks, even his shoes. Normally she wouldn't care that he'd left his clothes to wrinkle in the bag, but these we're suppose to have coffee spilled on them… and they didn't.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Stabler's, Liv." Olivia sniffled into the phone as she sat on the couch trying to figure out why her husband was lying to her.

"Liv? It's Elliot."

She bowed her head into her palm and cried silently harder, "Hey." She finally managed.

"You okay?" he asked. She could almost hear his brows furrow in concern which just added more confusion.

"Hormonal." She lied, "Tired, I just put the boys down; I thought you would be home." She sniffled.

"I was half way there and got called in on a case, I'm sorry I had to come back and this was the first free minute I had to call… It's gonna be a long one, I'll probably rack out in the crib… you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," she cleared her throat, "Do you remember Mr. Gethering?"

"Your mom's fiancé?" he asked not sure if that was the one. The name sounded familiar but Olivia had only mentioned him once or twice.

"Yeah… he owns the shop where I took the mustang… it'll be ready tomorrow."

"Good, that's great." He tried to sound happy if only so she would fall into the same groove.

"Yeah." She rubbed her temple, "I have to go," She lied, "Isaac is running around naked and it's cold." She muttered into the phone and hung up before he could reply. She whished Isaac or Sam was awake to occupy her mind. Anything to get her mind off of why she thought Elliot was lying to her.

She exhaled and struggled to get her bulging body off of the couch. She waddled down to the office and withdrew the necessary banking files and check book. She'd crunch numbers to occupy herself, she'd pay bills, plan a tighter budget, balance the cheek book. Anything to not let her mind connect the dots. Trouble in bed. Guilty looks. Counseling. Lying about spilled coffee.

She was finally occupied balancing the check book and scrounging around various parts of the office that Elliot was known to put receipts for this and that. He still lacked the discipline to record anything in the ledger. But his paycheck was always in the same spot. She smiled softly and ran a letter opened under the flap. She withdrew it and frowned.

"That's wrong." She muttered looking at the amount. Clearly different from the figure she projected based off of his overtime. She ran her finger down to the summary of his hours, "Sixty hours short!" she balked and groaned, "Good Job HR.' she muttered then felt the wind almost slam out of her body. Realization.

She dropped the check out of shock, "He's not at work." She whispered into the atmosphere, "He's not there."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mom?" Sam whispered from the door of the office, "Mommy, why are you crying?" he asked walking to the sounds of her sniffles and standing next to her, his face buried in her neck, "Why are you sad Mom?"

_Because I think you're father is cheating on me._

"I stubbed my toe."

"You've been crying for a long time… I heard you when I got water."

"It… hurt really badly."

"Your lying… it's not so good to lie mom. Did I make you sad today?"

She took his hands and placed them firmly to her face, "Feel my face, Baby… you don't make me sad." She told him and rested her forehead next to his.

"What hurts you then?" he whispered.

She smiled softly, "You know what? I think that I'm just ready to bring your sisters into the world… they're getting a little heavy to be carrying around."

He giggled and touched her belly, "Brother and sister…so big."

"You're telling me." She forced a laugh.

"Night Mom." He yawned and turned to leave.

"Sam, Honey?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you sit in my lap for awhile? Let me hold you?"

He tilted his head to the side as if sensing she was breaking already. He walked to her and very carefully made his way into her lap, negotiating her belly and resting his head on her shoulder.

"I love you Mom," he whispered into her shoulder.

"Thank you."

_I needed to hear that._

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She hated not waking up with Elliot next to her. The only thing she hated more than that was the overwhelming sadness that suddenly fit her soul like a custom made glove. He'd said he would use the rack at the crib. She hoped that was the case.

"This isn't our car." Sam furrowed his brow, "What is this?" He asked.

"This is one of the coolest cars known to man." She grinned helping him in, "It's an Impala."

"Cooler than the mustang?"

"Some mustangs yes." She admitted and helped him with the different style of seatbelt, "One of my friends let me use his car while ours was getting fixed, pretty nice of him, Huh?"

"Yeah… pretty nice." He exhaled and remained quiet as she double checked Isaac's car seat belt.

"You've been pretty quiet this morning." She told him starting the car.

"Isaac woke me up." He whispered, "I'm tired."

"Mmm, I see. I'm a little zombie-ish myself."

"You cried a lot last night… even after you tucked me in." he swallowed, "Dad wasn't here this morning… is that why you're sad?"

"No." She lied, "You're father had to work late and it wouldn't be safe for him to drive home late after a long day," _of cheating on me_, "and have him wake up early, so he slept in the room at work."

"Oh." He exhaled, "Is this 'cause of the other lady?"

She stared at him and tilted her head to the side, "What other lady?"

Sam shrugged, "He hugged me the other night and he smelled like a girl. But not like any girl that I know."

She slowly put the car in reverse, "Well, Honey, you know that Daddy and I work with a lot of women… who sometimes need hugs, maybe you picked up her scent on him, huh? Remember? You're nose is really good 'cause you're eyes work different?"

He laughed, "Mom, they don't work."

She smiled and almost cried that he seemed to be accepting his lack of sight. Seemed to willingly take it with a laugh.

"Right." She whispered and pulled out onto the road.

"That could be it." He told her minutes later as if he had just reached his conclusion after deep thought.

"What?"

"The girly smell… it wasn't you or any girls I know, maybe it was someone at work."

_Yeah! That's it!_ She rolled her eyes. _Maybe he's cheating with me with some skinny rookie at work. Fantastic!_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I put gas in it for you Mr. Gethering." Olivia smiled adjusting a very awake and very grumpy Isaac on her hip.

"You didn't have too." He grinned and looked at the toddler, "What's with the face Munchkin?" he asked gently and held out his arms looking at Olivia for permission which she gave. She watched this man bow his lips to her son's ear and sing the same blues tune he would sing to her when she was upset. She watches her son still instantly and fight sleep. She wondered how she'd forgotten that song over the years. Wondered how she let herself get so hard, wondered why she's let her self soften over the last three years. She wonders if she is hard enough to handle an affair.

She knows she's not.

Not now.

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"Cap, you got a second?"

"Olivia?" He grinned standing to his feet and welcoming her into his office, "It's been awhile. How are you?"

"Ehh," She shrugged her shoulders, "I'm still pregnant." She chuckled lightly.

"Ready to burst."

"Better happen soon, my feet are so swollen I've got one wearable pair of shoes." She said sitting slowly.

"What brings you by so late? Where's the rest of the clan?" he asked sitting behind his desk.

"I had to pick up my car from the shop and I spent some time getting loose ends for the babies and Casey asked if she could take Isaac with her and Addison, blah blah blah… I was wasting time. I needed to ask you something about Elliot's pay check… I was doing our banking and I think there was an error."

_There has to be an error. I can't accept that he's cheating. I won't be able to handle it_.

"What type of error?" he asked leaning forward casually. He whished she would have brought the boys.

"Well, he's short several hours of the mandatory overtime you assigned him. I wanted to get it straightened out before going to the bank."

"What overtime?" he asked leaning back in his chair.

"Excuse me?" She tilted her head to the side, "You assigned him Tuesdays and Thursday's. Twelve hours of overtime."

"No I didn't." he shook his head, "The brass has been on me about overtime and the budget. I don't keep anyone unless I have too. In fact, Elliot takes off two hours early on Tuesday and Thursday."

She furrowed her brow, fought for her composure and then smiled, "Oh, you know what? I think I had it backwards, that's right." She shook her head standing in a haze and looking down at her watch, "Two hours early, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So, he's not even here right now?"

"Nope, left about thirty minutes ago. He's pretty happy these days." He told her standing and walking her out of his office. He noticed the color leave her face, "Benson?"

"Yeah, Cap?"

"You okay?"

She smiled, "Absolutely."

_Not. _

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She took in a deep breath as soon as she got out of the precinct. _This isn't happening. There is a logical excuse for Elliot lying. There is. There has to be. _

She rubbed her belly, cramps beginning to form. She exhaled and breathed gently, "Its okay girls." She whispered, "Want to go pick up you're brother from the center?" she asked and carefully made her way down the steps, unable to see her own feet because she was carrying Elliot's babies. She was carrying his babies and he was cheating on her.

She swallowed hard and shook her head looking left then right and momentarily forgetting where she'd parked the mustang.

_It's too much. _

She fought the tears that came and exhaled when she finally caught sight of the car down the street. She'd hit the alarm button and opened the door, was just about ready to slide in when she saw him. She stared in shock and utter misery as she watched Elliot sitting in the coffee shop he'd taken her too so many times. His head back laughing before he grabbed the woman across from him by her biceps and took her into a huge hug.

She squinted, wished she would have brought the damn glasses with her but quickly realized she'd seen the woman before but couldn't place her. She slid into the car and rested her head against the steering wheel.

_There's enough in the bank to get a place. I'd have to be careful with spending but I've already worked it, I can support four kids on my salary… I think. _

She raised her head sharply and dug for her cell phone watching him through the confines of her car as he picked up his cell, "Stabler."

"Hey." She tried to sound normal. Tried to sound like she hadn't just witness the very act that will tare her heart out of her chest.

"Hey, Gorgeous, how are you?"

She watched him bow his head as if trying to shield the conversation from the woman across from him.

"Good." She whispered hoarsely.

"Tired? Just wake up?" he asked, "Did you pick up Sam?"

She cleared her throat, "That's where I'm going… where are you?"

"On a case."

She watched him sink in his chair. Shake his head as he responded to her. She watched the woman carelessly lean back in her seat.

She bit her lip trying not to sob, "Oh… sounds noisy." She sniffled.

"You okay?" he asked tilting his head.

"Yeah… who ya with?" She tried to sound casual.

"What?"

"Your partner." She adds hoping he's not getting suspicious of her questions.

"Mac." He says shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

She swallows still starring at him through the window, "Oh," she struggled to fight her tears, "Tell him I say hi." She whispered hanging up the phone and sobbing into her hands.

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Olivia sat on the couch, her head spinning as her sons ran rambunctiously through the house, "Slow down boys." She cautioned them miserably. She knew she didn't say it loud enough but she didn't have the strength to repeat her self.

Isaac barreled around the corner slamming into Sam who fell hard to the floor, "Ow!" he groaned then let out a laugh, "This isn't football, Bro."

"Guys." Olivia stood to her feet unable to suppress the smile that she bore seeing them playing together, "Bath time, let's roll."

"Mom?" Sam furrowed his brow and stood, "Why are you so sad?" he asked wrapping his arms as far around her as he could, "I had to break my promise to God, to not talk to Him anymore, I had to break my promise so I could ask Him to help you."

She covered her face and wondered how it was that love was what would ruin her. She placed her hands under his arms, "Small jump." She whispered and used his momentum to sit him on the back of the couch. She rested her forehead against his and nuzzled his nose, "I'm so glad you talked to Him."

"I'm not saying we're talking," he protested quickly, "I'm just saying… I told Him you were sad and if He had time, if He could make you better."

She kissed his forehead and kept his head next to her lips, her hand on the back of his skull, "Thank you so much." She whispered knowing that Sam couldn't handle a divorce, not after everything he's been through.

"Slide off." She whispered helping him down, "You boys want ice cream?" she asked softly.

Sam chuckled, "I thought it was bath time?"

"Ehh," She shrugged, "What's a little ice cream?"

She helped Isaac into his high chair and split the ice cream sandwich between the two of her boys, "Just a little, I don't want sour tummies during the night." She told them both and watched as they ate. Watched as Sam played with his little brother, watched as Isaac managed to get the sandwich everywhere except his mouth. He was beautiful, they were beautiful.

"Liv! I got news!" Elliot's voice suddenly sliced into her misery. Intensifying it.

She stood and walked to the sink in an effort to hide the tears that formed.

"Liv!" He walked happily into the kitchen and let his workbag fall where it landed.

"Liv?" He called softer and walked into the kitchen. He saw her absently washing a dish. He furrowed his brows and went to her snaking his hand around her waist to which she maneuvered out of it instantly, "Olivia?" he whispered in concern and tried to turn her to face him.

She slapped his arms away in anger. He took a step back, eyes wide shock evident, "Liv-:

"Don't touch me!" She hiss shoving his shoulder and walking past him.

He smiled to himself, clueless. _Got to love the hormones._

Elliot wet a washcloth from the drawer and sat in front of his sons, "Hey boys." He smiled taking Isaac's hands and washing off the delicacy. He grinned and kicked his feet.

"Hi Dad!" Sam beamed, "How was work?"

"Long." Elliot groaned, "But I got good news for you guys."

"What?" Sam asked taking the rag as soon Elliot handed it to him to wipe up.

"Can't tell you until you're Mother knows,"

Sam groaned, "Well never know."

"How's that? I was gonna go get her right now."

"She's sad Dad." He whispered, "I tried Dad, I tried to get her to talk like you guys do me… but her heart isn't working good today, I think it's broken."

Elliot frowned and touched his own shoulder as if mentally connecting her outburst to this brokenness Sam spoke of, "What happened?" Elliot asked helping his boys from the table and leading them back to their room.

"I don't know, but she cried all night long, Dad… like I've never heard her do." He said.

Elliot absorbed the information and began to stroke Isaacs back as the youngster yawned, "Go to sleep, Son." Elliot whispered and laid him gently down. "Sam… get your pajama's on, I'll be back to tuck you in."

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She wasn't in the bed but he heard her sobbing. The bathroom door was shut; the small stream of light flooding out from the bottom a clear indication that she was in there. "Liv?" he called knocking softly on the door.

"Go away, Elliot." She replied coolly.

"What's wrong?" He asked ignoring her request.

"Elliot!" she snapped, "Just leave. Me. Alone."

He furrowed his brow and gently opened the door, "Olivia-"

"Elliot! Please! Just… leave." She decrescendoed.

"Not until you tell me what's wro-"

"You want to know what's wrong?" she bit out, suddenly standing to her feet and stalking past him, "I'll tell you what's wrong." She hissed keeping her voice in check as she riffled through the closet hamper and pulled out his dress shirt from Tuesday, "There's no coffee on this shirt!" she raised her voice and exhaled before throwing it at him in anger, "There's no coffee on the shirt and there sure as hell isn't any on the pants."

He still didn't get it, "I don't understand why my clothes have you this angry Liv."

"Why did you lie?" she asked suddenly void of anger as she crossed her arms over her chest, "Why?"

He furrowed his brows trying to get on the same page as her.

"Answer me!" She growled.

"About the coffee?"

"About the affair Elliot!" She finally yelled, "It's not about the damn coffee, it's about you not being at work when you said you were!" she yelled motioning to her belly, "Did you forget you had a pregnant wife at home? I'm pregnant with your babies, Elliot, and your having an affair!"

He stared at her in shock and replied just as cool as day, "No I'm not."

"I can't believe you're lying to me." Her face contorted to disgust, "You haven't been at work Elliot… did you think I wouldn't get a little concerned when your paycheck came in and it was short a thousand dollars?"

He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, he had been caught. "Liv-"

"Don't!" she shook her head and covered her mouth, "I can't believe I trusted this." She whispered, "I should have known… this was too much, getting him back was too much, being loved was too much… it was too much good for my life-"

"Olivia-" he braved a step closer to her and stopped when she glared at him, dared him to take another one, "I'm not having an affair. I don't know how else to t-"

"You're going to stand there and lie to me?" She asked in disbelief, "Our son could smell her on you Elliot!"

"Oli-"

"Cragen has been cutting you loose two hours early on the days that you lied to me and said you had overtime…explain that to me would you?" she barked.

"Lower your voice!" He hissed at her suddenly fighting anger with anger.

"Lower. My. Voice." She repeated and smiled sadly, "I saw her Elliot." She shook her head.

He groaned not understanding who she was talking about, "Who!" he asked pleadingly, "Tell me, Baby, I'm so lost right n-"

She shook her head, struck that pose that made him cringe. He hadn't seen it in years but it was unmistakable. She was pissed. Hurt. "I stopped by the precinct to ask Cragen if he could get H.R. to issue a check, because _clearly_ there had to be a mistake, because the man I married would have _never_ stepped out on me-"

"And I didn't."

"And that's what I was hoping." She said choking on her own emotion and suddenly biting back at his clear denial, "Until I saw you hugging her in the café you take me too… it's pretty cut and dry don't you think?" she asked pawing at her tears and hugging her arms around herself.

Realization dawned on him. Who she saw, who she thinks she saw. He knew this was gonna bite him in butt, but he never thought this would be the outcome. He thought he'd loose her respect, he never thought he'd loose her trust.

"I made Lieutenant." He whispered looking down at the hardwood floor and making a mental note to have them waxed.

She opened her mouth to yell and suddenly stopped, "What?"

"I made Lieutenant…. I've been studying Liv." He exhaled shaking his head, "The woman you saw was a tutor that specializes in the police advancement tests." He exhaled placing his hands on his hips. "I changed my clothes so I could relax while I studied; I knew I couldn't get the tie back on so I came home in my street clothes."

She stared at him incredulously, "You really expect me to believe that?"

He raised his head slowly, looking at her in anger. He closed the gap between the two of them and no matter how much he stared at her in anger, she gave it right back to him. Two pissed off detectives. Neither of them yielding.

"I. Am not. Having an affair." He ground out.

"Yet all the evidence points to it." She whispered harshly, "I swear, if I wasn't so fat I couldn't get this ring off, I'd throw it at you!"

She was amazed at how fast the tears built in his eyes. She hated herself for doing it to him, but there was no place for adultery in a marriage. None. She stubbornly stood her ground.

"What can I say to make this go away, Liv," He asked softly and cupped her face in his hands, "I was studying to pass the advancement test, so I could be home more with you and the boys."

She furrowed her brow and shook her head pushing his touch away, "This isn't high school, El." She whispered, "You can't hide your indiscretions under the guise of the library."

"I DIDN'T CHEAT!" he yelled within inches of her face waving his fist in anger before suddenly steeling. She hadn't flinched, she was so use to him interrogating people. He almost smiled. It was almost a turn on until he remembered why they were fighting in the first place.

"You would rather masturbate than make love to me." It was a cheap shot and she knew it. She hated her self and patted herself on the back all at once.

He reached into his back pocket, retrieved a folded piece of paper and laid it on the bed next to her, purposefully grazing his lips over her ear, "If that's what you think… than you don't know me, you never have."

He walked out before he said anything that would make things worse, although he wasn't sure things could get any worse. He slouched in the office chair and scrubbed his face with his hands. "Not how I planned that one." He exhaled.

She unfolded the piece of paper and read the congratulatory memo from head quarters. He hadn't simply passed it, he'd aced it. She folded the paper and dropped it back on the bed, "Damnit."

Her legs were like led and it had nothing to do with being pregnant. It had everything to do with the fact that she'd just been the biggest jerk imaginable. She leaned on the frame of the office door and swallowed hard.

He rocked gently in the chair, starring at nothing, one of Isaac's stuffed toys she'd left in the office, gripped so tightly in his hand, she thought he might loose circulation. He was angry and hurt and he had every right to be. She scolded herself for not letting him explain, for not trying to at least be understanding. By her accusation, she'd undermined his love for her… again.


	35. Chapter 35 It's Time Redone

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 35 It's time

She watched him, knew he was angry and knew she was the direct cause of it. He was so happy when he came home. His voice was bright and relieved and she trampled it. She scolded herself for not simply taking a step back and trying to figure this out logically. She wondered if he could sense her like Sam could. She knew he could but she wondered if he would actually want to, now, after all she has done to hurt him. After the cheap shot she took.

"Sit with me." He whispered to her, the back of the chair to her. He'd sensed her, and in spite of the fact that she knew she had a lot of apologizing and eating crow to do, she smiled softly in relief that he hadn't shut off all things 'Olivia'.

She made her way to her chair to sit opposite him. Bracing herself to feel his heavy stare, to see the hurt in his eyes, the sadness that she'd put there and wasn't sure she'd be able to get back, at least not tonight.

"No." he shook his head. She nodded silently and turned to leave as he'd requested.

"Olivia? Where are you going?" he asked softly and it almost broke her heart to hear the gentleness in his voice in spite of her having just obliterated his ego and sexual prowess" all in one sentence.

She closed her eyes, chewed her lip to keep from crying, "You said," her voice came out raspy, "you didn't want me."

He raised his head to her and extended his hand waiting for her to place hers within his, "That's not what I said… I said I wanted you to sit with me."

She shook her head in confusion, "That's what I was tryi-"

"No," he shook his head again, "I didn't say, sit over there, I said, sit with me." He whispered and gently pulled her into his lap.

She couldn't understand, couldn't fathom how he could be so gentle with her after what she'd said to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and guided her head to the crook of his neck, "Are you cold?" he whispered, and she heard it, a faint crack in his voice that let her know he was fighting tears, fighting emotion that she caused.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into his neck, "I'm so incredibly sorry, for accusing you."

"Are you cold?" he asked again closing his eyes tightly to hold back the tears.

She kept her face hidden in the crook of his neck, unwilling to look at him. Her shame would keep her hidden and she knew that if she could never lay eyes on him again, if she could never feel his body against hers, her mouth against her lips, she would deserve it, "Please… I'm sorry."

He held her tightly in an effort not to sob into her hair. He reached up and touched her cheek tucked her hair behind her ear as she rested on his chest, "Please, answer me." He whispered "Are you cold?"

"Yes." She whispered against his chest. She wanted to tell him that not only was she physically cold, she was cold hearted as well. "Elli-"

"Let me warm you." He told her softly and slipped his hand up the front of her shirt, rubbing her belly softly and soothingly as his other arm wrapped around her back and enveloped her in the heat of his body.

She felt his hands shake against her, she felt his struggle to control them from doing so, but they continued to shake and she continued to let them, knowing that in this situation after what she has accused him of, she has no power to sooth him.

His shoulders didn't heave, his breath didn't hitch, he didn't struggle for breath, but she felt it, felt his silent tear fall from his cheek onto hers, she didn't move to wipe it, she deserved to feel what shed just put him through. How proud he must have been to have passed that test, only to have her mar this occasion with accusation and malice.

"Tell me," he whispered nearly twenty minutes later after neither had moved, "something you've never told me before."

"El… we need to talk th-"

He squeezed her tighter, "Please tell me." He whispered, "Anything, please."

"I considered Mr. Gethering like my father." She whispered against him and smiled sadly, "I don't think I've ever told anyone that."

"Why don't you ever talk about him?"

She knows what he's doing. He's asking questions, staying as close to her as possible so he can't be angry at her, so he can find a common ground with her.

"I… was… devastated when my mom left him." She confessed.

He remained silent again and she had to bite her lip to keep from asking him for his forgiveness, for his pardon for his kiss. "I'm sorry, Elliot." She whispered against his chest.

He rested his lips over her hair and stared at the photo of her and him nuzzling their noses together, with smiles as bright as sunshine. She was magnificent. Is magnificent. "Will you forgive me, El?" she asked softly, "Will you forgive me for being a complete and total jerk?"

He remained silent unable to say anything for fear of yelling and doing more damage than what has already been done. He loves her unconditionally but this has stung more than anything else could have. This has hurt and in order for him to not end up clutching the body of a beer bottle, he clutches desperately to his wife, who is ultimately still his safety net, his life line. Without her he's nothing but he doesn't know how to get her to believe that.

"When will you trust my love?" he asked several minutes after she'd started to fight sleep.

She's ashamed and she knows she should be. He's offered her unconditional love and she's drug him through the mud on more than one occasion.

"When will you understand that I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere?" he asked against her hair, "I waited patiently for you to date me, I waited for you to trust me enough to hold my hand, to kiss you, I waited to make love to you. I've waited for you all my life Liv… do you really think I'd walk away from you?"

She sniffled into his chest, "It all fit." She said wiping at her tears, "I… El… why did you lie to me, I mean… what was I suppose to think?"

He cupped her face, made her look up at him, "That your husband loves you unconditionally and would probably rather die a thousand painful deaths than to walk away from you… Liv, you're my life line, I don't know how many times I've got to tell you that for you to believe it, but I'm nothing with out you right next to me."

She furrowed her brows holding back tears and she ran her palm over his chest, "That's not true… you've always been a good man."

"Only because I've had you behind me every step of the way… Liv… I'm so insanely in love with you that I don't even like to go to work without you… I couldn't imagine coming home to a house that didn't smell like you or you're cooking. I couldn't sleep in a bed that didn't have those ridiculous flower prints on the sheets that you like."

She let out a half laugh half sob and cupped his face, "I'm so sorry, El."

"Liv, I need to tell you someth-" He furrowed his brow at the sound of the phone, "It's pretty late, can they call back?"

Olivia retrieved the phone from its cradle and looked at the caller I.D. and then her watch producing a furrowed brow and confusion, "its Robert's cell."

Elliot motioned for her to answer it. He was just as confused as Olivia was, "Stabler's residence this is Liv." She sniffled wiping her nose with her hand.

"You guys okay over there?" Robert asked with a voice so laced in concern Olivia stalled in reply, "Olivia, Sam just called me, he said he tried Al and the Novak's, he's scared to death, what's going on? Are you hurt, are you in labor."

"Robert," Olivia shook her head softly and slipped off of Elliot's lap, "what are you talking about? Sam is asleep in his room." She said hoping that was true, but when she left the office still talking on the phone and peered down the hall to the boys room, she had to catch her breath when she'd seen the door open, light off, but Isaac's blanket and pajama bottoms strewn down the hall, "Robert!" Olivia bolted as fast as her heavy body would let her, "Robert, where did he call you from?" she asked flipping on the light to see the room empty.

"Liv-" Elliot joined her in the room and furrowed his brows at his missing son's, "What's going on?"

"Olivia," Robert spoke her name in confusion, "he called me and said he took Isaac and hid because something was wrong in the house, are you okay?"

"Yes." Olivia countered quickly, "We're… we had an argument, he must have heard, Robert, please… did he say where he went?"

"I'm not sure but I heard a sound like a honk… I think, it sounded like he was outside."

"Thank you." She practically yelled into the phone as she cut it off and dropped it on Isaac's bed, "Outside!" she told Elliot as they quickly made there way out of the house and down the steps, "Sam!" Olivia yelled into the chilly night then stopped and shook her head, "Isaac doesn't have pajamas or a diaper on." She said running her hands through her hair in frustration.

Elliot kneeled and picked up a small sneaker, "Isaac's." He whispered and looked toward the road, "No." he stood slowly, "No… Sam's walking him out of here." He bolted immediately running barefoot down the driveway.

Olivia pushed her body to keep up with him, she was cramping and she hadn't felt well for the last three days. Too much was happening, but she pushed to find her sons, "SAM! ISSAC!" She yelled and watched Elliot trip and fall to the ground.

She was at his side as he struggled back to his bare feet. "The phone." Elliot groaned holding the living room's cordless in his hand. Broken beyond repair. They darted down the road further until dirt became asphalt.

"SAM. ANSWER!" she screeched.

"There!" Elliot hollered as soon as he saw the small shadow in the distance.

Olivia and Elliot ran as fast as they could. She remembered the last time Sam came out into the road. He'd gotten disoriented and almost got hit. She ran faster.

"Sam! Isaac!" Elliot yelled watching in abject horror as Isaac turned and tried to wiggle out of his brothers arms forcing Sam to take a step into the street, "NO!" Elliot commanded, "Stay on the dirt!" he pleaded and then groaned when he took another step and landed squarely on a nail.

"Elliot!" Olivia yelled panting as she came upon him. She looked up and saw Sam put Isaac down and pull him behind him, offering his body as a shield for his little brother.

"Get them." He moaned feeling for the nail in the dark, "Get them away form the street, Liv!"

"Samuel." She called short of breath, "Honey, what's happening? Why are you outside with your brother?"

He remained silent and kept a firm hold on Isaac who simply obeyed and waited in curiosity as he locked eyes with his dad who seemed to be in pain. "Dada!" he squealed and waved 'hi' innocent of the dangers of the situation.

"Samuel." Elliot groaned pulling the short nail out of his foot, "Sam, come here." He said as soft as he could, given the situation. Elliot reached out and touched his shoulder. Sam reacted slapping his arm away at the joint at soon as he felt it and throwing a random kick that connected with his knee. His mother had taught him well. Elliot yelped and almost collapsed to his knees at the sensation of his son's tennis shoe against his bear leg.

"Samuel." Olivia kneeled slowly, surprised when Elliot offered his hand for support and pulled her gently down to his side, "Honey, what's wrong? Why are you so scared?"

"We just want you inside Sam." Elliot whispered, finally regaining his composer.

"Mommies and Daddies do bad things to their boys after they yell."

"Sam-" Elliot reached out slowly in an effort to grab Isaac who was too close to the road for his comfort.

Sam pulled Isaac back and offered his own body as a shield for his brother as Tripod finally joined the scene out of breath but picking up on Sam's nervousness and instantly growling and bowing to Elliot.

Olivia wanted to yell at the dog and tell him to beat feet back to the house, but she knew that if she raised her voice, Sam would crumble and she wasn't so sure how he would react. "I'm his brother." Sam swallowed standing firm with Isaac behind him, "You can't hurt him… I'm not scared of you, Dad."

Elliot raised his brows in shock of the implied accusation. How had it come to be that he was the villain? Sam remained standing with Isaac protectively behind him, if it weren't for his shaking body and the silent tears coating his cheeks, Elliot would have believed that this little boy, who, in this moment, clearly acted as a man, wasn't afraid of him.

"Samuel." Elliot's voice broke, "Son… I don't want you to be afraid of me, why are you out here with Isaac?"

"So you don't hurt him… you can hurt me, cause I'm already no good, but you can't hurt him just 'cause your mad, Dad… you too, Mom."

"I would never hurt either of you." She whispered through tears, "Why would you think that, Baby."

He shook his head and swallowed, "So loud." He whispered and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

A car passed them, the horn blaring, reminding them of the severity of their location, "Sam, please come inside."

"No!" he barked and took a step back forcing Isaac back as Tripod snapped and growled.

"Cease!" Elliot snapped his fingers at the dog who reluctantly replied but stayed between the children and their parents.

Another car passed them, the headlights blinding Olivia who Elliot instantly pulled closer to him. "Sam." Elliot warned, "This is very dangerous, someone is going to get hurt, go inside, we won't even touch you but… you need to go inside, now."

Sam waited all of five seconds to reply, "No… he's my brother."

And as if on cue Isaac peered around Sam's body and grinned, "Boo!"

Sam was slightly startled at the sound of a new voice, he turned in the direction of Isaac's voice only for a second but that was all it took.

Olivia reached out as fast as she could and pulled Sam quickly into her lap, his back against her as he fought and squirmed, "No!"

Elliot grabbed Isaac who had started to cry at the sudden shift in movement, the absence of his brother's hand, the yelp of Tripod when Sam's foot accidentally stepped on his tail. Elliot tucked his son in his lap, wrapped his arms completely around his body and sobbed into him, finally giving up on the notion of him redeeming himself and being the man Olivia thought she married. He sobbed uncontrollably into young blond hair and rocked his son.

Olivia struggled with Sam, pressed her hand against his forehead and held him against her chest, "Shh, Son… it's just me."

"No," he cried, "Isaac!" he sobbed holding his arms out in a desperate attempt to locate his brother, "Isaac!" he shrieked.

"Shh," Olivia whispered in his ear, "Your Father has him Sam, and he's holding him and rocking him. He's okay, Baby, your daddy isn't hurting him, I promise you."

"NO YELLING!" He suddenly screeched in frustration letting his body collapse against her as he pulled at his hair, "ITS TOO LONG!" he screamed and sobbed finally lowering his voice, "Isaac?" he hiccupped and relaxed against her.

"I'm going to let you go so you can go with your dad and Isaac, but if you hit, there will be consequences that don't involve spanking or yelling… understand?"

He sniffled and wiped his face, "Yeah."

She released him slowly; completely when she was satisfied he would be gentle, "To your left baby."

He moved and as soon as his hands met with Isaac's body, Isaac smiled looking into his brother's eyes, unaware that Sam would never be able to look into his. Elliot pulled Sam into his lap and wept bitterly over his sons. He broke. Olivia saw it, wasn't expecting it, knew there was more to his secrecy than this simple admission of an advancement test, and this confirmed it. It had nothing to do with appearances of an affair, that wasn't what made him sob guiltily as he held his sons in his arms; it wasn't her accusations that broke him. He was already broke, she just didn't see it, and then it dawns on her.

That's what the problem is.

She forgot about the fact that she was kneeling on the side of the road in dirt. She positioned herself next to her husband, touched his back and felt him tense at her touch instantly. She withdrew until he looked at her as he rested his temple on Sam's forehead. She touched him again, rested her forehead against his and held her family of boys.

"You yelled so loud Dad." Sam whispered as Isaac simply yawned and snuggled closer to his father.

"I'm sorry, Son." Elliot whispered stroking his back, "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to control it."

"Why did you yell so bad at Mom?" he asked against his chest and shivered in the cool of the night.

"Sam, come on Son, let's get insi-"

"I said something I shouldn't have." Olivia cut him off, "And I think I really hurt your Dad's feelings." She whispered to her son but kept eye contact with her husband, "I love your father Sam, and I know he loves me… we weren't respecting each other and that was the result. I'm sorry we scared you Sam, can you forgive us?" she asked softly as she held her gaze with Elliot's glassy eyes.

He understood that she was asking for his forgiveness through Sam. He closed his eyes; let the tears remain as he squeezed Sam and Isaac deeper into his chest. "I'm sorry boys." Elliot whispered gruffly, "I didn't… I was frustrated but I shouldn't have yelled at you're mom and I'm so sorry I scared you, forgive me Sam." He said with a sniffle that seemed to simply trigger another unashamed sob.

Olivia kept her palm on his back, felt his labored breaths as he struggled to find his composure. She saw Sam's face furrow in thought but before she could suggest that they all go inside, Sam spoke up again, "Dad… what did you cheat on?" he asked innocently.

Elliot slammed his eyes shut at the sound of his voice, the innocence in the question, at the situation that was unfolding. He shook his head softly letting his lips graze Sam's hair. He didn't know how to respond without feeling his heart rip in two. Yes, he'd lied, but she still doesn't understand why and he's not so sure he's brave enough to go there with her. Not now.

"'Because Alex says if you cheat, you don't respect yourself." He said pulling back and resting his forehead against Elliot's chin as he shivered again.

"I didn't cheat, Son." Elliot whispered, "I didn't cheat, I swear it to you, I'd never set that example for you." He whispered blinking out fresh tears and kissing his hair gently.

Sam pulled completely back and Olivia watched as Isaac stared up at the interaction between his brother and father, "Dad… you're crying real hard… like mom did, why?"

He pulled his son close again, "Because… I really… messed up Sam."

"You hurt her Dad." Sam whispered, "I felt her heart break… you have to fix it now."

"Honey," Olivia stepped in, not sure how much more of Councilor Sam that Elliot could take, "come on Son, get you're grumpy Dog and lets go inside and get you washed, we need to look at Dad's foot and get Isaac into warm clothes."

"But," Sam furrowed his brow, "Why did you think he cheated Mom? What did Dad cheat on? Did he try to beat you in chess?" he asked reaching out and sliding into her lap, " 'Cause that's just Dad, I really have to memorize the pieces 'cause he likes to tease me and move them… maybe he was teasing you? Maybe he wasn't really cheating and it just looked that way."

Olivia smiled softly, "We weren't playing chess, but, I think that might have been what happened, Honey. Don't worry about me and your dad… we'll get it figured out." She said reaching for Elliot's hand and lacing her fingers with his, "We always do."

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"Please stop, that's hurts." Elliot groaned trying to pull his foot away from Olivia's hand.

"It has to be clean El." She whispered holding his ankle tight, "It has to be cleaned or I take you to get tetanus… your choice."

"Was the nail rusty?"

"No, it was one of those shorties. I think it came from the telephone pole."

"Okay." He whispered and flinched when she packed the small wound with ointment, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it'll just be sore for a while." He said slightly out of breath.

She wrapped his foot carefully and watched him equally as careful. He draped his forearm over his eyes and she wondered if it was from exhaustion or if he was simply tired of looking at her. "While you where in the shower," she cleared the nerves from her throat, "I um…left a message for…Vivian to squeeze us in if at all possible."

He lowered his forearm and looked at her, exhaling, he pulled her down to the bed next to him, "You want to go to Vivian's?"

"Elliot… I think we need to." She whispered, "You and I… we're just gonna keep fighting on this I don't understand why you lied to me and I know you don't understand how I came to the conclusion that I did."

"Liv-"

She shook her head softly and covered his lips with her fingers, "Please El, we can't afford to be stubborn here… not on this one."

"Dad?"

Both Elliot and Olivia turned to see Sam standing at the door, "Come in." Olivia called back softly and stood, "I'm gonna shower."

"Please stay." Elliot whispered tightening his grip on her and pulling her back to him, "Please?" he whispered.

She nodded softly, "I'd like that."

He laced his fingers with hers as they drew their attention to their son, "What brings you out of bed? It's past your bedtime, son." Elliot said softly.

"I think," Sam tilted his head, "Well, I was thinking… and I think… I think that I know how to help you fix Mom… and maybe you too."

"Oh yeah?" Elliot smiled softly, "How's that Little Man?"

"Like this." Sam whispered and hooked his hand at the back of Elliot's neck forcing him to turn to Olivia, "and then, Mom, like this." He said turning her face to look at Elliot, "And then you kiss her so it makes her all better and it fixes her heart…and if Mom is happy then you are happy… that's what you said, remember?"

"Samuel." Elliot whispered starring at Olivia, "I don't know if you're Mom, wants me to kiss her, and it's not always a good idea to kiss a woman who doesn't want to be kissed."

"Ask her then." Sam suggested.

"Sam," Elliot's throat tightened, he wanted to kiss her, wanted to make all of this go away but ultimately he knew that this was his fault.

"Yeah," Olivia whispered cutting him off and placing her hand on his thigh, "Ask me."

"Ask her! Don't be a wuss." Sam said impatiently, "Come on, Dad."

Elliot cupped her face softly, his eyes turning to liquid glass as soon as his fingertips touched her skin, "Do you want me to k-"

"I do." She nodded as her chin began to quiver.

He leaned in, bringing her lips to his, gently. "Can I kiss y-"

She cut him off, her hands on his face as tears streamed her own, she pressed her lips against his, savored a touch she thought she may have lost. He rested his forehead against hers, nuzzled her nose gently and kissed her lips again. She took hold of his bottom lip, sucked softly before timidly touching her tongue to his lips, silently asking for permission to be let in. She felt his reluctance, felt his hand squeeze hers for a spilt second before opening his mouth to her and kissing her.

They knew they weren't going to solve everything with a simple kiss, but it was a start, it was a shot of forgiveness laced with a little bit of healing.

Forgetting about Sam standing near, Elliot let out a small moan of appreciation for her letting him kiss her. It's starting to set in… what he's done to her, what she must have went through seeing him embrace another woman, hear him lie about that woman. But he still doesn't understand why she didn't ask. Why she accused.

"Hey!" Sam giggled, "I said kiss her, not go all gross." He chuckled pushing his Father back by his shoulder, he felt Olivia's arms still stretched out to him and grinned, "Oh gross." He shook his head and lowered her arm from Elliot's body effectively giving them the hint to break away.

"Thank you." She whispered kissing the corner of his mouth.

"I think I should be thanking you."

"No," Sam interjected innocently, "I thought of it, so, I think you should thank me, right?"

She laughed and laughed harder when she heard Elliot chuckle, "Come here." Olivia whispered and pulled Sam close, a kiss on the cheek, "I love you."

He pulled her neck down to him, and whispered in her ear, "All better now, Mom?"

She pulled back and looked at him, "Not all better… but we're gonna be."

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"Don't you girls want to come out of there?" Olivia chuckled rubbing her belly as the shower water cascaded over her body, "If you come before the third you'll make it in time for your brothers birthday, he's two, but for us it's his first." She smiled softly. "You all will have November birthdays." She chuckled then frowned wishing Elliot was behind her to wrap his hands around her and talk to her about nothing, just as they've done countless times in the shower. She wondered briefly if she'd ever have the right to ask him to do something like that again. She found herself torn between being angry at him or lying, and being angry at her self for not trusting him.

She exhaled, the night had been too long, too painful, the argument with Elliot, chasing Sam and Isaac. She reached for her shampoo, and then let her arm bypass it allowing her palm to rest against the tile of the shower wall. She hung her head and sobbed.

It was the cool air that suddenly caressed her body that made her straighten quickly and paw at her tears, stepping into the stream to cover any evidence of hurt.

"Can… I join you?" Elliot asked softly, "We don't have to talk or anything, I just… want to be next to you."

She turned her face away from the stream, "If you want." She whispered, "I know you already showered so…" The bottom line was she wanted desperately for him to be in that shower with her but she can't figure out her own emotions and she doesn't know what to so, except protect herself at all costs.

He took a breath, her voice was cold. Hurt. He stepped in, avoided the pain that shot through his foot as the warm water seeped into the wound, "Can I hold you?" he asked knowing he really didn't have a right to.

_Yes! Please hold me._ She said nothing but took a step backwards and imperceptibly raised her arms for him to snake his around her, "Do you… think the boys will come soon?" he whispered into her neck grasping for anything, struggling to keep afloat.

"I'm not sure," she swallowed, "I was this far along when I had Isaac, so… I'm not sure what the rest is supposed to feel like, other than just uncomfortable."

They remained silent, his chin resting on her shoulder as he held her, her hands covering hers, he kissed her shoulder tenderly, "I hate that I've made you cry, that I've made you upset."

"It's not a big deal." She whispered.

"It is. I'm sorry." He whispered again.

"It… really… hurts, El." She confessed, "Bad actually… but… I know I've hurt you too."

He embraced her tighter, "I'm so sorry, Olivia."

"Don't be… we'll get it figured out." She assured him, "I'm still so angry with you though, and I know you're upset with me and I don't want to go to bed angry, but I know we can't talk this out on our own, we're just gonna fight and get nowhere fast."

"I know you're angry, we both are… let's call a truce for tonight? We wont go to bed angry, but we'll fight this out tomorrow with Vivian? I'll give you your space tonight and I'll sleep on the couch... my olive branch to you."

She reached behind him, caressed his face, "Truce."

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He still helped her into bed, pulled the blankets up to her chest but avoided giving her a kiss. He had no right. Not now. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he didn't want to make anything worse that it already was. Instead, he cupped her face, traced her jaw and finally rested his hand on her belly, "Sleep well, Olivia." He turned and left, blaming himself.

She watched him leave and her heart felt as though it had plummeted a thousand stories and shattered all over again. There hadn't been a day that they were married and in the same house that he hadn't given her a kiss goodnight that he hadn't been in the bed next to her. She doesn't like this, but feels as if she has no right to ask him, not after her accusation, not after her cheap shots. She shut her eyes for sleep, and blamed herself.

Olivia found herself wide awake and starring at the ceiling whishing he'd come and lay next to her. She doesn't care that their angry with one another, she just wants to feel him next to her but she knows she has not right to ask him, he'd have to come on his own. After allowing several minutes to go by, right along with two trips to the bathroom, she decided she needed him more than she needed this 'space' he spoke of. Screw the olive branch; she wanted him next to her.

She padded lightly out into the living room, the glow of the television her only guide. She stopped seeing him sitting motionless on the couch. Shoulders hunched, head bowed. His sniffle the only indication of him being awake, crying.

"Elliot?" She whispered stepping into his territory and praying she didn't get bit.

He startled, looked away to blink back tears and then back at her, "Yeah?" He tried to sound normal; they were after all in a truce. "You okay?" he asked standing to his feet and checking his watch, "It's two in the morning, are you sick? Are yo-"

"Keep asking what I am and I won't be able to tell you." She said softly, the vaguest hint of a smile playing on her lips.

He bowed his head, "I'm sorry."

She tipped his chin up, "Come to bed with me? I don't like this part of the truce… I need you to sleep with me."

He shook his head, "You know what Vivian said, we can't make love just to make up from a fight, we have to work through it."

She smiled softly, and hooked her fingers into his waistband, "I'm glad you actually listen in there… but, I don't want to make love tonight. I just want you next to me, this isn't us." She motioned to the make shift bed atop of the couch, "It's not." She said again.

"I don't… want to smother you and force you into not being angry… you have a right to be angry."

"I know I do." She said softly, "And you do too… but… this isn't us. I want you next to me, and I want my kiss goodnight." She smiled weakly, "Come to bed with me? Please?"

He furrowed his brow, pulled her closer to him and touched her cheek, touched his lips to hers and applied tender pressure before sipping on her lower lip and pulling away, "It killed me when I was setting up this bed."

"It's not your bed." She whispered, "You belong next to me, I belong next to you."

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The truce was apparently over by the time they'd arrived at Vivian's. They had managed to save the fighting until after they dropped Sam off at Crystal's house for a day of play and Isaac off at Casey's for what Olivia knew would be law review. She knew what had started this mornings round of hostilities. She'd woken up in his arms, her face buried in his neck. She found herself wanting to make love to him as the sun came up. But when she shifted and he pulled her closer, and she felt his erection. Both of them stopped kissing the other. The reality of the situation setting in. Anger and frustration ensuing. More frustration than anything else. They blamed themselves, but more devastatingly they blamed one another.

"Well," Vivian smirked sarcastically. She was a ballsy older lady who was knowledgeable, insightful and completely unorthodox in her professionalism. Okay, she had no bedside manner. Olivia and Elliot liked it, until she had to put her foot down with them. It had shocked them, but ultimately made them more confident in her abilities to help them through. "I see you two have had a wonderfully miserable last couple of weeks, huh?"

Elliot exhaled and slouched in his seat.

Olivia folded her arms and looked away.

"I'll take that as a 'hell yes'" Vivian sighed, "You two seemed to be doing incredibly well the last time I saw you,… what happened that has you two unable to look at one another?"

Both opened their mouths to place blame until Vivian raised her hand in interruption, "No. That's not how we communicate in here… one at a time, who's first? Come, on. Who's talking?"

Olivia turned to Elliot and glared, "Guilty party goes first."

"Nice Liv." He retorted, "If that's the case then, by all means, the floors yours." He said coldly.

"Oh, stick a sock in it Elliot." She snapped.

"You know what?" he sat up and stared at her, "Why don't you-"

"Both shut up." Vivian finished his sentence. Elliot and Olivia gave each other one final hard look until they both turned and stared straight ahead. "Elliot," Vivian began, "we normally start with Olivia… let's start with you today. What happened?"

"I don't know." He whispered leaning forward on his knees, "I thought… I thought I was doing a good thing… for my family," he shook his head and inhaled as he stood, "and I came home to tell her and she accused me of having an affair."

"Were you?" Vivian asked, "Were you having an affair?"

Elliot spun around in anger, leveled his finger at the older woman, "I did not. Cheat. On my wife!" he spat and shook his head softly, "I would never do that to her."

Vivian turned her attention to Olivia, "Do you believe him?"

"Yeah… yes, I do."

"Vivian arched her brow, "Yet you found reason to ask if he was? Do I understand you correctly?"

Olivia chewed her lip and nodded.

"Can you tell me the reasons?"

"Yeah." Eliot scoffed, "Tell her 'cause I'd sure like to know how me doing something so I can spend more time with you warranted an accusation of an affair."

Olivia gestured wildly with her hands, "Elliot! What else was I suppose to think? You didn't want me but you could get off just fine masturbating on the floor of our bath-"

Suddenly infuriated he yelled, "THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T WANT YOU!" His yell was so forceful that Olivia had taken it as a challenge, an invite to yell back.

She stood to her feet, "Then tell me what it means!" She pleaded, "Tell me Damnit, because I don't understand how you can want me and choose that over me!"

Normally, Vivian would have cut in and stopped two yelling clients but these two were truly dynamic. Even in yelling you could still feel their passion for one another. She leaned back in her chair and observed the communication between the two.

"I told you!" he shouted stepping closer to her, "Why won't you listen? You're so damn stubborn sometimes!" she made motion to argue back but he plowed through, "Why don't you listen to me when I tell you that I want you? I don't know why I couldn't!"

Vivian eyed the clock, knew she was going to have to clear her morning schedule to get these two through the rough patch and she's fine with that. She picked up the phone as they continued to yell at each other oblivious to her voice asking the receptionist to cancel the rest of the morning. She hung up the phone listening to them tare away at each other; she knew they'd forgotten she was even there.

"El-"

"Olivia!" he pointed at her and walked away, "Just because I couldn't make love to you doesn't mean I was having an affair!"

She matched his temper with her own, "DAMNIT!" she yelled out running her hands through her hair, "Elliot! I told you I believe you!"

"Then why are we here!" he yelled taking another step to her.

"Because!" She screeched flexing the chords of her neck, "It's about you lying to me! Why didn't you just tell me!"

He bowed his head and placed his hands on his hips, "I didn't know how." He said softly.

"Elliot," She spoke softer but couldn't cover her irritation, "I don't know what that means, please… what are you saying?"

"Nothing." He whispered, "I'm done." He said picking up his jacket and walking past her.

She reached for him, spun him around to look at him in the eyes, "No. You're not leaving."

"Liv-"

"Stay here and fight this out or this wound isn't gonna heal… I'm tired of bleeding Elliot." She pleaded.

"I have to go." He whispered.

"You're not leaving." She told him sinking her fingers into his arm.

He spun back around and stood inches from her face, his gaze intense and angry. Hurt. She almost thought he was going to yell. She braced herself for his wrath. He moved even closer and knocked the wind out of her when he responded coolly, "No. That's your job."

"So, we're back to that?" She whispered trying to hold her tears at bay, "You still think I left you." She locked eyes with him as he remained silent. She reached out, grabbed his jacket and angrily ripped it from his hand, "Sit down." She breathed.

"I'm leaving."

In pure anger and fury she grabbed a wad of his tie and shirt in her hands and shoved him into his chair, quickly sitting down and sliding her chair in front of him so their knees met, "I said. You're not leaving."

He lean forward and looked at her defiantly before standing, "I'm leaving."

She shoved him back down again, "Let me tell you something you obstinate sonovabitch, I'm pregnant, I'm grumpy and I'm hurting and I know I hurt you, but…. I'm also completely in love with you and I'm willing to war this out with you, but I swear, if you turn tail and run I will never be able to love you with all of me… not with this between us."

He clenched his jaw; let her words soak over him. He reached out and slowly touched her belly, "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Then talk to me." She whispered, "This isn't all of my fault El… it's both of ours… why did you lie to me?" He bowed his head, she tipped his chin up, "Look at me and tell me."

"I… didn't…. I thought, I would loose…"

"Me?" She shook her head, "Over a test? El-"

"No." He whispered gruffly and swallowed, "I thought…. Respect," he shook his head, "I'm a man… leader." His eyes watered as he tried to clear his throat of emotion.

She furrowed her brows putting the pieces together, "You thought I wouldn't respect you?"

He nodded, "Yes."

She exhaled and smiled sadly, "Do you have any idea how confused I am right now?"

He leaned closer to her, rested his forehead against hers, his hands on her thighs, "I know it's stupid, Liv… I just… we're the best damn cops there… we're a team, you and me."

She framed his face with her hands, "I'm sorry… I don't understand what you're saying."

"I thought… I… wanted to make lieutenant so I could pull a desk job and spend more time at home with the kids."

She smiled softly, "Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"I didn't know if I could pass it, I've taken is four times since my last promotion and I never pass it."

She furrowed her brow, "You've been taking this test all of this time?"

"Since I found out you were pregnant with Isaac." He smiled, "I didn't want to miss anything," he said letting his smile fall, "I never passed it though… Cragen suggested this tutor and I nailed it, Liv."

"El," she shook her head, "Why would I not respect you?"

He swallowed and looked away, "We're cops, Liv… you and me, we're with the victims."

"El, just because you have you're bars doesn't mean you won't make a difference." She assured him.

"We won't work together." He said softly, "I will have walked away from our partnership… I don't want you to not respect me for that."

She framed his face and grinned, "El, you're such a dork."

He pulled back shocked, but relieved at the play in her face, "Excuse me?"

"Elliot, I know how much you love being a cop, I know it runs in your veins, I know what that gold shield means to you, and to know that you would give that up for our boys and for me… that makes you even more honorable. It makes me respect you even more." She assured him, "You are a man… a good man, and you're the head of our home, you've got to stop doubting that."

Vivian arched her brows in pleasant surprise. She'd never condone yelling at one another but these two always seemed to make a u-turn and find their way back to gentleness. It surprised her. She'd never had a pair like these two. They we're beautiful in their own respect. Rough, but beautiful.

He closed his eyes against her words, "I don't know how, Liv… I'm so lost."

She pulled back slightly and looked at him, there was still more he wasn't saying, more that he was holding onto, "El… you've got to get it out, whatever this is, it's been eating at you for months and I hate seeing you like this… please… talk to me."

He kissed her forehead gently and it felt good to feel his lips against her, to feel her skin against him, "It's not important." He whispered.

"Elliot!" she snapped sitting back in the chair, "It is important! It is, because it's eating at you and it's affecting you… tell me something… all of this time, you having trouble in bed with me, has it been me, or is it whatever you keep holding onto."

"Liv." He growled her name in warning, digging into her thighs, "Stop."

"Tell me." She whispered touching his face, "Tell me El." She pleaded and blinked out tears, "It hurts me more than you could understand for you not to trust me to confi-"

"Trust?" He pulled back sharply, "Trust?" He asked incredulously and stood to his feet narrowing his vision at her, "You can't even trust me in bed with you, Olivia!"

"What?" She shook her head in confusion, "What are you talking about? Why are you angry again?" she asked looking to Vivian for guidance who simply kept watching. They were doing a good job of getting the information out, even if there were gonna be some hurt feelings and bruised egos.

He stepped back and eyed her, pointing at her and grinding his words out, "You keep telling me to trust you with my rage, and you can't even trust me with my love!"

Olivia furrowed her brow and shook her head, "Okay, I'm not sure what I just stepped in."

"Yes you are!" he shouted pointing at her in exasperation, bordering between anger and the need to simply hide in his wife's embrace and sob like Sam or Isaac would.

"No… I don't." She said softly and stood.

"Don't come over here." He warned, shaking his head.

She disobeyed and walked confidently within inches of him, "Why? You wont hit me and I'm not afraid of you're rage. Why can't I be this close to you?"

He swallowed and pushed past her, "Nothing is wrong."

"Clearly, there is." She said folding her arms over her chest, "Elliot, it's just me what is going on?"

Before he could stop himself, before he could decide on the right phrasing he spun around and pointed, yelling with all strength that he had, "I HATE YOU!"

She wondered if this was what the rapture that the pastor spoke of was. She wondered if it was the deadening silence, save, for her heart beat pounding in her ears. The city streets suddenly contained no sounds, no honking horns, angry vendors or screeching tires. Nothing, save, the tears that fell painfully from her eyes. The room was spinning and she couldn't seem to get a breath, couldn't let one out either. She stood shocked. Numbed.

"Liv." He whispered stepping closer to her and reaching out to bring her into a hold. That wasn't what he was trying to say. It had come out wrong. Completely backwards, upside down and inside out.

She fought his embrace but needed his arms just to stay on her feet. He'd knocked the air out of her. He'd momentarily stopped her heart's beat and it seemed as though it wouldn't regulate. He grabbed her forearms as she turned her face from him, pushing at him, "Don't touch me." She whispered opening her mouth to let out a sob and finding she had no air to do so. This raspy utterance as if she were taking her last breath was all that escaped her.

"Liv… it's not what I meant." He whispered pulling her into a tight hug, almost floored when her arms wrapped around his neck and she sobbed into his chest.

"Why would you say that?" she cried and when it hit her again, fresh for the second time, she straightened and pulled away shoving him hard into his shoulders, "Don't touch me!"

"Liv," he took a step closer to her when he regained his balance, "Liv, that's not true, I love you so mu-"

She'd slapped him. His face had flung back with the intense sting. She'd never slapped him before. Punched, yes. Slapped, no. There was a difference; a punch was anger, a slap was hurt. At least that's what he thought. He looked back at her, she was silent, tears streaming her face as she held eye contact with him, he was right. Hurt was written all over her face. A different hurt that he'd never seen before, one more intense than the hurt he'd seen when she found out about her father, more intense than finding out about her brother and the hurt she held the day Isaac went missing paled in comparison to what was written on her face in this moment.

"Olivia." He whispered willing himself to take another step to her, "I'm sorry."

"I love you." She whispered shaking her head and taking a step back, rage and hurt suddenly overriding her system, "Well you know what Elliot!" she suddenly yelled, "If this is what you want… fine! You want to live in anger and frustration… you want to keep things from me and make me worry and stress out over you? Fine!" she stepped forward and shoved him again in his chest, "But don't you dare, I mean don't you dare, stand there and tell me you hate me when I know that you love me! Don't you dare lie to me again!"

He was poised to pounce, "Oli-" he suddenly stopped feeling a stream of water hit his face then watching as Olivia flinched when water struck hers. They both turned to see Vivian staring at them, brow raised, water bottle in hand.

"Haven't had to use that technique since grad school." She smiled.

Olivia growled wiping her face, "We're not kids!"

Vivian smirked, "Then sit your beautiful asses down and stop acting like one." She said calmly and motioned back to the chairs.

Olivia shook her head, so much hurt and frustration. They were supposed to be happy when they got Isaac back. She's not sure what the hell Elliot is talking about but to hear him say he hated her… broke her like nothing else had before.

"So," Vivian shrugged, "How'd that little shouting match work for ya?"

Both stared at her in misery, Olivia rubbing her belly to sooth babies that were responding to her stress with kicks that hurt. She double checked the Ipod buds, hoped they were covering the sounds of her yelling. "Isn't our time up?" Olivia asked, "I'd like to go home."

"I have until twelve, if you want the time, but if you want to go home and walk out on your marriage, then, well, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya." She shrugged.

Olivia narrowed her eyes in anger, "You're accusing me of wanting out of my marriage?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything, I said if you wanted to, to watch the door on you're way out." Vivian corrected.

Elliot turned and spoke softly, "Oliv-"

Olivia pointed at him in anger and shouted almost coming out of her seat, "DO NOT. TALK TO ME!"

He exhaled and sat back staring at the floor.

Vivian pulled two envelopes out of their session file and walked around her desk to lean against it and stand in front of them, "Position you're chairs like you had them, Olivia, please?" she said softly.

"No." Olivia shook her head, "No… this… this is too much, I give up… you win, El. Do what you need to do, do what ever you want." She bowed her head and sobbed into her hands. She startled when she felt her chair move. She looked up, opened her eyes to see that Elliot was pulling her chair to his so that their knees met again.

"This… this Liv, is what I want to do." He whispered.

"Take this." Vivian interjected just as soon as Olivia was going to put up another fight.

Olivia looked at the envelope noticed it was her 'love letter' to him. Vivian handed Elliot his and he smiled softly at his wife. She looked away in shame. To hear your husband say he hates you… can someone actually recover from that? She's not sure.

"Alright," Vivian clapped her hand and reclaimed her seat behind her desk, "whose reading first?"

"I will." Elliot whispered tipping her chin up to face him; "If you'll listen?" he asked gently knowing he definitely didn't deserve it now.

She pulled her chin away from his touch but locked eyes with him silently giving her consent. He unfolded the paper and let out a nervous chuckle, "I didn't know… that I'd have to read this out loud to you… you know I'm not really good at this type of stuff… I'm not… the words never come out right and this is typical male writing short and t-"

"Just read it." Olivia whispered, "Just read it… I want to go home… let's get this over with, I can't do this anymore."

Elliot swallowed unsure of what she meant; can't be here in Vivian's office anymore today, or can't be his wife anymore?

"Liv-"

She snapped and sobbed at once, "Just read the damn paper!"

He nodded bowing his head, "Okay," he choked back tears wondering if he'd just lost his wife because he was so much of an idiot in one week than he'd ever been in his life. He unfolded the paper and cleared the emotion from his throat, "I think that ah the assignment was to write how I feel being around you and how it feels to make love to you… so… here it goes," he whispered and started to read, "Dear Liv, Vivian asked me to write this letter to you and I'm not sure why. I don't think it's really a letter at all because it's not long enough. Not because I don't love you but because it's just too simple. When I'm with you the Earth sits a little stronger on its axis and when I make love to you, when I touch you, I feel that same earth move through my hands. I love you more than you know, Elliot." He whispered folding the paper back to its form.

Typical male. Five sentences. She almost smiled. Almost.

"Look at your wife." Vivian encouraged him softly.

He looked up slowly not wanting to see the hurt in her face. He was surprised to see her lips pressed together in an effort to not cry. She leaned forward put her hands about his neck and pulled him to her, her forehead against his as she wept. After a short time she chuckled out a sob, "You sonovabitch." She sniffled and kissed him on his mouth before letting him go.

He smiled at her softly, "You keep saying that."

She laughed albeit pained and pushed her head against his again, "I love you so much."

"I know that I've hurt you so much, Olivia, and I swear to you I never meant this to happen… but you've got to believe me," he said framing her face and looking intently into her eyes, "you've got to believe that I love you."

She pressed her lips tighter, shook her head in understanding and wrapped her arms around his neck desperate for him to hold her and tell her that they would be okay, that they would get through this. That he didn't mean what he said. That he loved her.

"I love you so much, Baby." Elliot whispered into her ear, "You've got to know that."

She held onto him and only after Vivian interrupted the embrace several minutes later, did she let go, "Olivia, do you want to give him you're letter?"

She looked down at the paper, looked back at him. She knew he loved her, but to hear the opposite fly out of his mouth had shaken her confidence, "No." she whispered folding it and tucking it into her pocket, "Maybe later."

"And that's fine." Vivian said in understanding.

Elliot understood. Didn't like it, but understood.

"So," Vivian exhaled, "We've got a lot to talk about, huh?"

Elliot and Olivia glanced cautiously at one another and shook their heads softly.

"Well then, should you pick something to start with or should I?"

"Let us." Elliot whispered.

"Okay." Vivian shrugged, "But, if I hear anymore yelling I will step in this time." She cautioned, "Touch her while you talk to her, hold her hand touch her leg, do something to let her know that you want to be connected with her.

He rested his palm on her knee motioned to her hand with her his fingertips, "Can I?"

She cautiously laced her fingers with his and smiled sadly at him.

"I didn't have an affair Liv."

She sniffled shaking her head, "I know… really I know, and I believe you."

His lips curled into the barest resemblance of a smile, "And truly, I'm sorry for not telling you about the studying… I didn't… I didn't want you to think, that I was… less of a man, or a cop or even your partner for wanting a desk job. I love you and having your respect… it's important to me in ways that I can't explain… it keeps me grounded and makes me want to be better."

"El," she whispered touching his face, "you're already the best… you've got nothing to prove to me… just… I want you talk to me, I want you to tell me why you've been so angry the last several months, why you've ignored our fi-"

"Hold on, Olivia." Vivian interrupted softly, "Let him get everything out and then you can ask you're questions."

Olivia nodded, "okay."

"I need you to trust that I'll never hurt you, Liv, I'd never hurt you while I make love to you." He held her gently.

"Elliot, what are you talking about?"

"You know Liv… you can't stand for me to hold your hips and thrust into you, you even admitted it when we went through our books together, and that time, you had me be so rough with you, you put my hands on your hips, and I'm so confused… I want you to be uninhibited and confident."

"Do you wish you had someone else?" She asked tilting her head to the side.

"No." He told her honestly, "But I wish you would trust my touch… why did you have me go so rough that night? Why we're you punishing yourself?"

"Elliot." She shook her head, "I… I told you about that, in confidence."

"I know." He cupped her face, "And I'm sorry if you're feeling blindsided right now, but, Honey, we've got to get you passed it, why are you so scared of it? Why we're you punishing yourself?"

"We're not here for this." She shook her head looking away.

"He's making an effort to communicate with you Olivia… try to answer him, this is a safe place for you, try." Vivian encouraged.

"We… had just had an argument, not really an argument but it had to do with Ganzner telling you he had sex with me."

"I remember." Elliot whispered.

She stared into nothingness as if relieving that night, "I… I felt like such… a whore. I knew that I didn't deserve for you to… make love to me so tenderly." She pawed at a stray tear, "Wow, this is really hard for me."

"I'm right here." Elliot smiled softly and wiped away the remaining moisture with his thumb.

"I thought…if I could… make my mind relive something bad, then everything would be right. I didn't deserve to be made love to, so… I tried to make it horrible so I didn't think of it as having been made love to."

He pulled her to his chest and hugged her, "Liv… I'll always be gentle with you."

She nodded against him and whispered "I know."

"Then… why can't I touch your hips when we make love, why can't I pull you over me like that?" he asked gently, "I mean, I know I can touch them, but I can't… you know, put you in certain positions… why?"

"Because." She swallowed, "It feels like him… it reminds me of him, and I hate it."

"Would you be willing to work on it?" Vivian asked softly still in awe that after all the vicious things these two have said to each other since they walked into her office, they are still so tender with each other. They find their U-turn every time.

"I'm scared too… Elliot and I tried something new once, and… I sort of freaked out."

"Okay." Vivian exhaled, "We'll cross that bridge later… Elliot? Anything else?"

He kissed her forehead, "I didn't mean to say I hated you."

"It was pretty clear." She whispered, "It really hurt."

"I know it was… and I know it did, but you have to believe me that I didn't mean it Liv."

She pulled back and looked at him resting her hand on his chest, "Tell me what you meant, El…please? I need to know what's going on with you."

"I…" he looked away clenching his jaw, "I hate that they love you so much… he's my son too you know?" he whispered.

"This is about our boys?" she asked almost shocked, "I thought… I mean, Sam is getting pretty confidant with you and Isaac calls you Dada… I thought that was what you wanted."

"I'm not… it's not the boys." He exhaled rubbing the back of his neck, "Isaac was my son too and I don't think anyone cared that it destroyed me to see our friends digging up his grave…no one asked me if I was okay… but everyone asked you, everyone is so in love with you."

"El," She shook her head, "They love you, I think… I think that they truly see us as one person and the apologies we got we're for both of us."

He shook his head, "When you left… no one came around… no one stopped to see how I was dealing with Isaac's death… no one cared. They came to get your clothes and to beat me into reality," he smiled softly, "But ultimately… they didn't care just to sit with me and honestly… that's all I wanted."

"El-"

"I think the more I thought about it the angrier I got and eventually I started to make you out to be the bad guy-"

"You're angry at me for our friends loving me?" she asked in confusion.

"No. I'm jealous of you because they love you so much… when it comes to me… they think I'm some sort of thug cop, like I'm LAPD or something." He shook his head, and rested his chin on her shoulder as he held her "If they knew that I didn't see it as you being away from me for 'just two months', if they knew that I felt you away from me for one-thousand-four-hundred and forty hours…I lost you for eighty-six-thousand-four-hundred, excruciating minutes… five-million-one-hundred and eighty-four-thousand lonely seconds… if they knew, would they have finally understood that I just needed someone to carry me too?"

She kissed his cheek softly and caressed his face, "Elliot… the other day I was talking with Casey… she loves you, they feel that you've put up a wall, they want you back, we all do…why didn't you tell me this before? Why did you let it fester?" she asked softly.

"I just," he closed his eyes and thought carefully, "I just thought… I feel like I'm failing you as a man, as the man you married."

She smiled softly, "Elliot, the man I married is the same man sitting in front of me, only this man," she said rubbing his chest, "has lost his confidence for some reason… when did that happen?"

He swallowed and shook his head, "When… when I realized you could live without me and do just fine for your self."

She scoffed, "Well, I don't know who told you that, but they're sorely mistaken… I can't function without you, Elliot… I couldn't even stand that you weren't in bed next to me last night… believe me when I tell you, if you left me, I wouldn't make it and I certainly wouldn't be doing just fine for myself either." She kissed his lips softly, "I'm addicted to you." She smiled against him against and caressed his face.

"Olivia? Did you want to ask him anything else?" Vivian asked softly.

"I just need to know that this is it… that you're not hiding anything else, that this is the root of all your bitterness right now, that you'll at least tell me your working on a project in the future, you don't even have to tell me what it is, but… I just I think I deserve to know the truth, and you know I don't care if you pal around with other women, I see you with Casey and Alex and I know you love them like sisters, but yeah, if you ever lied to me about going out with them, I'd start to wonder… I'm a female detective Elliot, it's hardwired in me to ask questions and think the worse if things don't add up."

"That's all." He whispered, "I'm not hiding anything else… I promise you."

"I have one more thing," She whispered in all seriousness, "I really need an honest answer from you Elliot."

"I promise to give you one." He assured her.

"Is it me? Is something wrong with me that makes it hard for you… in bed?"

He cupped her face, kissed her forehead and smiled locking his eyes with hers, "It's absolutely, one hundred percent, not you… you'd fallen asleep and," he blushed, "I was thinking of you naked, after a few minutes, I was surprised that I got an erection. I wanted to wake you up and make love to you, but Liv… you've been so tired, so I… um… went to the restroom."

"It's not me?" she asked once more for clarification.

"No." He told her adamantly.

She exhaled and smiled softly, "Good to know."

"Good… can we please pick up our homework assignment and go home?" he asked gently.

She smiled softly, "Only if you can make me a promise?"

"What? Name it. It's done."

"Next time you find yourself in that position?"

"Yeah?" he asked with furrowed brows.

"Wake me up?"

He blushed and buried his face in her neck, "I promise."

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"Sam?" Olivia whispered walking into his room, "how was school?" she asked gently knowing that after she and Elliot fought, even after Sam had made the effort to have them make up, he'd grown quiet, kept an extremely close ear out for Isaac. She and Elliot talked it over and both agreed to let Olivia talk to him.

He simply shrugged his shoulders at her and turned on his bed putting on his earphones. She gently sat next to him and removed them, "Don't disrespect me, Son." She whispered and kissed his hair.

Softly, he replied "I don't want to talk to you."

"That's fair… but what happens if I want to talk to you?" She asked rubbing his back softly.

"I don't know." He shrugged again, "Maybe… maybe, I have to listen?"

She smiled and ran her hand through his hair, "Maybe."

"How is dad?" he whispered toeing off his sneakers and returning them to their proper position.

"He's better, and I'm better… but what about you?"

"I wasn't the one yelling." He whispered then suddenly stood, "Where's Isaac? I didn't… he… I… where is he?" he pleaded.

Gently, she pulled him back up on the bed, "You're brother is with you're fathe-"

"NO!" Sam screeched and slid off of the bed only to be returned to his mothers embrace, "Let me go."

"Shh." She whispered in his ear, "You're brother is fine, he's okay, I promise you son… why are you so worried? We're not going to hurt him, I promise." She assured him.

It took longer than usual but eventually he relaxed in her arms and sniffled. She bent her neck and kissed his hair, "I love you."

"I know." He managed and exhaled, "Are you sure Isaac is okay?"

"Absolutely sure." She smiled, "But, Sam, you've got to believe me… you haven't left him alone with me or your dad since that night outside… you've got to trust us with you _and_ with him." She told him softly.

"But… he's my brother… if he gets hurt then-"

"Then it won't be by anyone in this house… I promise." She said resting her forehead against his, "do you believe me?"

He exhaled and ran his hands through his hair, "Maybe." He said softly, "I haven't decided yet."

"Oh." She smiled, "Can I help you in you're decision?"

He pressed his lips together and pulled back hair that was falling into his eyes, "Can you cut my hair? It's too long and you said you would do it, just as soon as I was better, and I'm better now."

She grinned, kissed his forehead, "I've put that off for too long huh?"

"Yeah." He agreed softly and smiled when she took his hand and helped him off of the bed.

"Let's go hunt down the clippers, then huh?"

"Yeah." He beamed and followed her down the hall, "Mom… does Isaac get haircuts?"

She paused in thought and smiled, "I've never cut his hair before, and little boys his age are too wiggly." She smiled, "But… maybe in a few months, huh? Don't you like how his hair is starting to curl?"

"It feels cool." He agreed and stopped when she did.

"Counter or toilet?" she asked pulling the clippers from the sink drawer.

"Umm, counter?"

"Deal, little jump." She smiled holding him under the arms and helping him up.

"Spider Man or Sponge Bob?"

"Spider Man." He grinned and waited anxiously for his hair cut as she draped the towel around his shoulders.

"Hold it, Baby… like this… there ya go." She assured him and waited until he was comfortable, "Water," She warned wetting his hair, "What will it be today, Sir?"

He giggled, "I don't know."

"Well, do you want a flat top? Shaved? Trim? Fade? Shaggy? Mohawk? Like you're dad? Like Fin?"

"What about Captain Cragen? What kind of hair does he have?"

She laughed deeply and kissed his cheek, "Believe me… you don't want that."

"What do I want?" he asked, "Do I want it like last time? Or do I want one of the ones you said?"

"You tell me." Olivia said softly still bothered that he couldn't make his own decisions when it came to personal likes, at least on some things.

"What's a Mohawk?"

Her eyebrows met her hairline, she'd been playing when she said it, "Um… it's a funny hair cut, that shaves the sides," she said placing his hands on the side of his head, "and it leaves a short strip right here." She informed him tracing the space with her hand.

"Oooh," he wiggled his brows, "Will Dad like that?"

"Yes, I would." Elliot smiled even as Olivia jumped.

"You scared me." She said softly, it been three days since their meeting with Vivian and she absolutely wanted him, but, they were slowly working back to their normalcy.

He smiled and stepped into the bathroom, "Really, I think we all need haircuts today… Isaac is sound asleep in his bed right now… think you could help this old man and his son out today Miss, Olivia?" he asked with a smiled running his fingertips over her bicep.

She blushed and was freely accepting of the embracement, glad he could still do it and glad she could still want it, "Yeah, I think I can pencil you in… you'll have to wait though." She smiled, "I've got a very important client I'm dealing with right now… big cheese type." She grinned at Elliot as she kissed Sam's head.

"Yeah," Sam laughed, "Really important."

"Deal." Elliot whispered and leaned to Sam's ear, "Get the Mohawk son, you'll be the ladies man."

"El!" she warned with a grin. He winked and turned to leave.

"Mohawk Mom!" Sam said anxiously.

"Nope." She smiled, "Let's get you something respectable."

He frowned, "But… I'm smart and I'm nice to people."

"Yep." She agreed combing through his hair that was indeed too long.

"Then… why do I need a respectful hair cut when I'm already a respectful boy? Why does it matter what my hair looks like?" he asked innocently.

She tried to give and excuse and came up empty handed, "Mohawk it is." She muttered and ran the first pass over his hair, "So… can I ask you a question, Son?"

"Um… will it hurt?"

"It may."

"Oh… I guess."

"The other day," she stopped the clippers and smoothed out a section of his hair, "when you were in the road… you said that you're already no good… what did you mean?" she asked using scissors to get the appropriate length of his Mohawk.

He shrugged, "I… I was already hurt, so I'm use to it, but Isaac… he's just a baby and I thought maybe… maybe, if you needed someone to hurt… you could hurt me instead of him."

"Sam." She whispered, stopping her actions and kissing his forehead, "I won't hurt either one of you and either will your father. That night… that night was really rough for me and your dad and we were upset with one another but we made it through without hitting anyone." She explained, "But, Son, you have to understand something… there might be other times when me and your daddy are disagreeing and we might get upset with each other but you've got to understand that it doesn't mean we're gonna hurt you or Isaac or each other… okay?"

"I don't like loud." He said softly.

"I know… and your dad and I have talked about it and we're gonna try really hard to keep our voices soft when we disagree, okay?"

He exhaled and shook his head in agreement, "Mom?"

"Yeah?" She asked resuming the cut.

"I believe you."

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"Sponge Bob or Barbie?" Olivia asked with a small smile as Elliot sat on the closed toilet.

"Barbie?" He frowned, "Why is there a Barbie towel here?"

"It's Crystal's… her mom packed it with her that time Sam and her played in the sprinklers."

"Oh." Elliot eyed the towel as if it were dangerous, "I'm manly… I'll take Sponge Bob."

She laughed and draped the towel around his shoulders, "I didn't know Sponge Bob was the epitome of masculinity."

"Oh yeah." Elliot grinned and raised his hands to hold her waist before remembering that they still weren't exactly on the same page. But they'd gotten better, immediately after Vivian's session, they were at least in the same book together. But he wanted to touch her and he was still a little unsure of himself. He lowered his hands and picked a spot to stare at her maternity shirt.

"Do it." She whispered looking down at him.

"Excuse me?" he furrowed his brow.

She picked up the clippers and searched his face, "Do it… touch me, I want you to." She assured him and placed one of his hands at her waist with her free hand. He touched her and grinned when both hands were on her body, "Thank you." She whispered to him.

"Thank you." He whispered back, kissing her belly gently and straightening up for the cut, "I'll take a Mohawk, please."

"Yeah, 'cause Cragen will let that fly." She smiled resting her hand on his shoulder and gazing down at him. She wanted to kiss him but wonders if maybe she shouldn't, if maybe she might be pushing him to fast.

He looks up at her, recognized that look in an instant and rubbed his thumbs over the cloth of her waist, "Do it." He whispered.

She grinned and leaned down, kissing him tenderly on the mouth. Simple, uncomplicated, I love you.

"So," he smiled over her lips, "no Mohawk huh?"

"No… but our son… he looks really cute."

"Cute?" Elliot repeated with raised brows.

"I mean… he looks very manly and handsome… the kid is reeking of masculinity." She laughed and shook her head, "Want the same fade?"

"Yep." He grinned and sat still while his wife tended to him.

Several minutes later she found herself smiling as she handed him the scissors, "I'll take the Barbie towel please."

"Excuse me?" he asked in confusion.

"I need a trim, my hair is insanely long… you seem to know what you're doing… help me out?"

He almost laughed, "You're asking me to trim your hair?"

"Yep."

"I had to beg last time."

"Details." She shrugged and draped the towel over her shoulders, "You did a really nice job last time… I thought you might be able to pull it off again." She said with a smile.

He grinned realizing what she was doing. It was her way of trying to get them both on the same page, and then once there the same paragraph and sentence until they became one word and eventually one sound again.

He trimmed her hair with concentration. She watched him with a smile.

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"Boo! Dada!" Isaac screeched at his sleeping father, when there was no response from Elliot Isaac simply proceeded to smack him in the face as he laughed, "Boo! Wakie!"

"Dad!" Sam shook him, "Dad, it's wake time!" he said excitedly.

Elliot opened one eye and saw two dressed and ready to go little boys, "Where's you're mother?" he asked groggily once he noticed she wasn't in the bed with him.

"Smell that dad?" Sam asked softly as Isaac grunted to climb on the bed.

Elliot concentrated on the smell as he lifted Isaac up, who promptly sat next to him and pulled off his tiny shoes in happiness, "Wow!" Elliot smiled, "How long has you're mom been up?"

"Don't know… I got up 'cause it smelled good, Mom said she made your favorite breakfast." Sam informed him.

"Really?" Elliot grinned and helped his boys off of the bed, "then why are we still in this bedroom?" he asked rhetorically.

"Um… 'cause you wouldn't wake up." Sam told him matter of fact.

Elliot laughed at the remark then stopped "Wow, Sam… that Mohawk is awesome!"

He grinned and ran his hand over it, "Mom kept it short, see? She said I could have the Mohawk but I can't spike it."

"Yep, I see… but I like it, it's cool." Elliot laughed lowering Isaac to the floor and watching him scurry down the hall.

"Sam?" Elliot took him by the hand.

"Yeah?"

"I love you, Son." Elliot whispered cupping his face, "I didn't mean for those things to happen that night… do you forgive me?"

Sam beamed, "Of course, you're my Dad!" he said but frowned slightly, "But dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't so much like the yelling and I don't so much like it when you and mom hurt each other."

"Me neither… Me and your mom are trying really hard right now… I love you, Sam, we both do."

He giggled, "I'm hungry."

Elliot grinned and kissed his cheek, "Let's eat." He chuckled and walked with Sam down the hall only to find Isaac's sweater discarded halfway down, "He's gonna freeze, it's the beginning of November." Elliot muttered.

"ISAAC!" Olivia screeched, Elliot trotted down the hall to see Olivia laughing and pointing to Isaac who stood naked with the refrigerator door open sipping from his sippie cup.

"Isaac!" Elliot groaned scooping him up, "Where's your pamper?" he laughed.

Isaac simply laughed and wiggled to be let down.

"Morning." Olivia smiled softly wanting to reach out and wrap her arms around Elliot.

"Good Morning." He grinned looking at the breakfast table and patting his gut, "A very good morning."

"I thought… you might want to eat real breakfast food. I know you've been pulling more than your share of the house work around here and I know that the pop tarts and coffee can't be hitting the spot, so uh… omelet." She said motioning to the kitchen table.

He watched as Sam helped his brother into his highchair, "little jump." Sam smiled and plopped him in, "You need to wear clothes," Sam scolded, "You're gonna get sick."

"Sam Sam!" Isaac squealed as Sam draped a towel over his legs and brought down the tray like his mother had shown him.

Elliot looked back at his wife and the food on the table and smiled bashfully as he made his way to her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the corner of her mouth, "Thank you… for doing all of this." He whispered.

"I thought," she breathed as he sipped her bottom lip and let go, "I thought… I called Sam in sick to school… I thought we could go out… do something, all four of us?"

He rubbed his hands up and down her back in a soothing motion as he looked at her expectant eyes, "I'd like that." He smiled, "Can I kiss you?"

She blushed, looked away and then brought her gaze back to him, "I'd like that."

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Olivia beamed feeling Elliot's arms wrap around her over grown belly, "Thank you." She smiled watching Sam and Isaac tumble in a pile of freshly fallen autumn leaves.

"How are your ankles?"

"Still very much swollen." She chuckled and tightened his hands over her body, "He's fallen in love with Isaac." She whispered leaning back into him as Sam continued to wrestle with his brother, tossing leaves so that they showered the toddler.

"Look at how he keeps touching Isaac, he digs his little brother." Elliot smiled against him.

"Yeah." Olivia laughed, "I think that's his way of knowing where he is… otherwise he can't smoother him in leaves."

"I like your laugh." He whispered kissing her neck, "I didn't like not hearing it the past few days… I missed it."

She rubbed her hands over his, "I missed this… I missed us."

"Dad!" Sam yelled out near the teeter-totter, "Dad, what is this?"

Elliot grinned and kissed Olivia gently on the neck before sidestepping her and taking her hand to walk to their boys, "It's a teeter totter." He laughed and squeezed Olivia's hand, "Maybe you me and Isaac can balance out your mom?"

"Elliot!" She laughed slapping his arm, happy he felt comfortable enough to tease her.

He laughed and kissed her cheek as Sam continued to yell out, "Dad… how do we do it? Help us!"

"I don't think I can fit on that thing." Olivia groaned.

"Na," Elliot agreed, "We'll just hold them and make sure they don't crack their skulls." He smiled and released her to take Isaac up in her arms.

"Get on, Sam." Elliot encouraged.

"You too." Sam said pulling on his hand.

"I can't… you're brother doesn't weigh enough… we need something heavy."

"Get mom!" Sam said waiting excitedly on the seat, "She's heavy."

Elliot laughed as Olivia raised her brows in shock, "Hey Mister!"

"Get on, mom!" Sam encouraged, "Come on guys, Pleeeeaaassseee?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and grinned as Elliot got on the teeter totter and adjusted Sam so he could level the seat for Olivia.

"Yeah, right!" Olivia laughed, "I'm eight and half months pregnant!"

"Exactly!" Elliot grinned, "You're heavy… get on!"

"Yeah Mom!"

"Unbelievable." She muttered through a grin and carefully straddled the seat, "A little help!" she laughed when she couldn't quite get her leg over. Elliot went up on his tippie toes lowering her side so she could slide on and adjust Isaac.

"You're mother looks gorgeous, Sam." Elliot whispered into his ear, "Absolutely gorgeous."

Olivia watched Elliot as they slowly rose up and down, "Your father is amazing, Isaac… in case you didn't already know."

"Hey Liv?" Elliot yelled across the way, "You up for bumpies?"

She laughed, "Only if you want me to have these babies right now."

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Neither of them we're fooled into thinking that the session with Vivian would magically heal them. Especially not after some of the words that were thrown out, but they'd worked on it consistently, they set aside time after the boys went to sleep to talk themselves through it, to figure out where they stood with one another, and while some nights brought laughter and clarity some brought excruciating pain for both of them. Neither dared instigate love making. Egos were still too fragile and hearts were still mending, they were happy to simply fall asleep in each others arms. They had been on the verge of tearing one another apart yet they found their U-turn and managed to come out on top.

She wrapped her arm around Elliot's waist and watched her two year old son stand on the kitchen chair and grin down at his cake. Friends all gathered around the table in support of Isaac's second birthday. His first party but his second birthday. She laughed as he dug his hand into the cake and thrust it to his brother, "Sam Sam!" he squealed and rubbed it into Sam's mouth. She took the picture.

Sam grinned and giggled as Chloe reached for a napkin and gently wiped his face as Isaac continued to laugh. "He's two." Elliot whispered into Olivia's ear, "Our son is two today."

"He is." She smiled and hugged him tighter as she watched their friends smoother her son in kisses, hugs and gifts that, while Elliot and Olivia had asked that there be none, the clan brought them knowing that they still hadn't been able to do extensive shopping for Isaac and winter was just around the corner.

"When are you gonna let those two go, Olivia?" Mac grinned resting his hand on her belly.

"If I had it my way, I would have let them go last week, but I still have three more weeks before my due date. Twins, so I'd say any day is possible, but they better not be procrastinators, they have until my due date and then it's forced eviction." She chuckled feeling Elliot rub the small of her back softly. He knew it killed her to stand for long periods, he knew her back had been sore all day, he knew she needed a gentle rub, but he also knew he just wanted to touch her.

"Hey, Elliot?" Robert grinned as Sam stole a piggy back ride from him.

"Yeah?" Elliot smiled watching his boy enjoy their friends. His friends.

"Paul and I are going fishing this weekend… want to join us?"

"Oh," Elliot groaned, "I'd like to but." He pointed to Olivia's bulging stomach, "I'd better stay close."

"No." Olivia grinned touching Elliot's forearm and smiling at Robert, "He'll be there, just tell him when and where."

"My house, meet us Friday morning around three?"

"Are you sure?" He asked looking at Olivia.

"Yep… just make sure your cell is on if I do decide to go into labor."

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"It says to have a picture that you focus on." Olivia said rubbing her belly and wincing slightly.

"You okay?" Elliot asked putting her favorite pajamas in her pregnancy bag.

"Um… yeah, I think so." She said with a smile.

"You sure? Cramps? Sick?"

"Cramps, but not like I've ever felt… they're probably jocking for space in there." She chuckled and grinned looking up, "Can you get the picture of you and me off of my desk in the office? I'd like to use that one."

"Of us nuzzling?"

"Yeah." She grinned, "I like that photo."

"It's my favorite too; you're really hot in it."

She laughed shaking her head, "It says CD's"

"Check." He smiled holding up a selection and tossing it in the bag.

"Always keep the cars above half a tank?"

"Check."

"Socks? My feet freeze in the hospital."

"Check… I know you like the back of my hand." He said sitting next to her "I got everything you need in that bag."

She smiled, "You'll be so excited you'll drive off without me."

He laughed, "Possibility, I'm very excited about these two boys."

"Girls."

"If that helps you sleep at night." He shrugged playfully.

She laughed and exhaled, "We've come along way, huh?"

"Yep… we have." He whispered kissing her hand, "We need to make a decision about my promotion though, I need to tell the brass if I'm leaving SVU and accepting the promotion."

"I know," she nodded, "But, can we not do it tonight… it's been such a good day for both of us, I don't want to get into the serious stuff, not today, not on his birthday."

"Okay." Elliot smiled and kissed her again, "But, be thinking about it?"

"Yeah." She agreed, "Did the boys go down okay?"

"Like downed aircraft, I'm surprised Isaac isn't puking." Elliot laughed helping her into her pajama shirt, "that little boy ate his weight in cake."

She laughed and leaned back into Elliot as he button her shirt from behind, "You're really pretty tonight." He whispered kissing her neck, "I just wanted to tell you that."

She smiled, "Thank you… you were pretty hot yourself, I liked that shirt you wore tonight, and I think you did it to tease me."

"Yup." He grinned then grew serious, "But… um… I'm not trying to make lo-… I.. I'm… I don't have the guts yet Liv, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She smiled, "I wasn't asking for anything, I just wanted to tell you that I thought you were hot and I knew you were teasing me."

He chuckled and kissed her neck again before pulling the blankets back and helping her into bed. He slid in next to her and smiled as she immediately gravitated to him and spooned tightly, his arms resting on her swollen belly, his lips kissing the back of her head softly, "Look at me, Liv." He whispered.

She twisted around to look at him, "He kissed her softly on the mouth and separated with a boyish grin, "Good night, I love you." He whispered and drew her back into his arms.

She reached up and back caressing his face, "I love you too."

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Elliot's eyes shot open for the fourth time feeling the bed move as Olivia struggled to get her overweight body up and out of it, "Need help?" he asked groggily they'd spent the last two days since Isaac's birthday, waking up almost every hour for her to go to the restroom. It was almost comical. Almost.

"No, no." She whispered touching his arms softly, "Go back to bed… the girls are just camped out on my bladder tonight, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's fine." He assured her and moved to help her sit up anyway, "You're so beautiful." He smiled.

She rolled her eyes gaining her equilibrium, "I'm a beached whale, El." She chuckled, "Let's face the facts."

He kissed her. Kissed her full on the mouth, one hand about her face, the other at her hips, sipping softly of her top lip before setting her free, "Yeah," he whispered playfully, "But you're _my_ beached whale."

She chuckled and made her way to the restroom. She rubbed a cool cloth over her face after finding that she didn't have to go to the restroom, after all. Again. She looked at herself in the mirror, caught a glimpse of the wedding ring on her hand and then frowned remembering how she'd run from him. She'd always put him in the most precarious situations, always made him out to be the bad guy. She didn't even realize it until Vivian casually pointed it out to her in her personal session.

'_Is it possible, Olivia that you've married a good man? One that is extremely patient with you and loves you unconditionally?'_

'_It's not just possible, it's the truth.' Olivia smiled, 'He's a good man.'_

'_Then why are you so harsh to him? Why don't you treat him like the man you've just described?'_

'_Excuse me?' Olivia furrowed her brow, 'Harsh?'_

'_You don't see it?' Vivian asked softly._

_Olivia bowed her head, and whispered, 'Sometimes.'_

'_You plannin' on fixin' it some time soon?'_

_Olivia exhaled standing and walking to peer out the window, 'I don't even know where to start,' she whispered, 'every time; I try to be there for him… I end up turning it around and making it about me… it's not my intention, I love him with every part of me, but… I always feel like I have to justify why I acted a certain way, and he's so damn understanding that the end of the conversation always ends up about me and I'm not so sure he gets a lot out of it.' She exhaled and tossed her head back in frustration, 'I feel like I'm a bad wife… and see what I'm saying, I just made it all about me again.' She shook her head and reclaimed her seat, defeated._

_Vivian smiled, 'Olivia, you're not a bad wife or mother and Elliot isn't a bad husband or father but, you two are both bad communicators.' She chuckled lightly, 'Have you told him any of the things you've told me in our sessions? Have you told him about the rape? You're insecurities? You're fears of bringing you're babies into the world?' _

'_No' she shook her head, 'I've stressed him out so much with the accusations and just the normal wear and tear that I put him through that, I don't see a need to add to it right now.' _

'_Why don't you want to talk to him about it? Admit to him that you've been selfish and uncaring." _

_Olivia snapped in offense and glared at Vivian, 'I love my husband, and I care deeply for him… I just… don't always know how to show it.'_

_Vivian smiled softly, 'That wasn't exactly what I meant. I simply want you to admit to yourself and to him the things you've admitted to me… that you're selfish at times… believe me when I tell you that's more than likely all he wants to hear, he'll probably be just as 'damn understanding' as you say he is, but ultimately he'll know that you realize it and that you want to fix it…so why don't you want to talk to him?'_

_Olivia closed her eyes against the woman and exhaled sharply, 'because I don't know where to start… and… I'm a coward.'_

'_Have you ever apologized to him? You've told me how bad you felt for leaving the house while he was drinking?' _

'_Yes.' Olivia shook her head, 'I have, we talked on Christmas when I came back home.' _

'_Without offering an explanation?' _

'_Excuse me?'_

_Vivian leaned forward and prodded her gently, 'Have you ever apologized without giving an explanation for your actions?'_

She took one last look at herself in the mirror and then looked at Elliot who seemed to have fallen back to sleep relatively easy. She padded over to the bed and slipped in behind him careful not to touch him, knowing her body had already chilled and touching someone with cold feet was just wrong.

She pulled the blankets up to her chest and rolled to her side wincing at the uncomfortable position and struggling for a pillow.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked sleepily and reached out touching the curve of her hip, "You're cold?"

"Yeah… go back to sleep-"

"No, come here." He whispered pulling his extra pillow from behind and helping her tuck it under her belly as she lay on her side, "Better?"

"So much." She whispered and smiled as he laced his fingers with hers, "I want you to do me two favors."

"Please let one of them involve sleep." He chuckled tucking her hair behind her ear.

"No, it doesn't." She said softly searching his face intently.

He propped his head up on his elbow, "What's up? You look so serious."

She reached out to him and touched his face, softly tracing its contours before leaning in and kissing him gently on the mouth, "I want you to do what you want to do about your promotion." She whispered over his lips.

He furrowed his brow, "I thought we were going to talk about it?"

She shook her head softly, "I want you to do what you decide to do, I don't want you to make this decision for anyone else but yourself, not the boys and most importantly not me… can you do that?" she asked softly.

"I don't understand. Why… why don't you want a say in this? Why can't I do it for you?"

"You've put your self on the back burner for me too long now, El… I need you to do this for your self… it's your decision, but I want you to know I'll support you in whatever you decide."

"Liv-"

"You can't do it for me." She reiterated softly, "You've got to do this one for yourself."

"But-"

She covered his lips lightly with her finger and arched her brows, "For your self." She whispered and timidly pressed her lips against his, closing her eyes at the contact. He tried to pull away, to ask her something, she sensed opportunity and flicked her tongue out to his, coaxing him into a gentle caress of lips and soft moans, "I love you." She whispered, finally giving him his release.

He smiled softly, "I take it you had an interesting session with Vivian today?"

She smiled and blushed, "Enlightening."

He watched her, almost humored at her sudden seriousness, "What's the second favor?"

"I need to talk to you." She said, squeezing his hand softly, "I need to tell you something and I need you to listen before I chicken out."

"O-Okay." He stammered not sure of where this was going, "Lay it on me." He smiled nervously.

She stared at him, deep in thought on how to construct her words, she watched him, watched the worry lines that had become so evident on his forehead, the gray that seemed more prominent in his hair. She'd put him through hell, unintentionally, but hell just the same.

"Liv?"

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Sorry?" He furrowed his brow, "For what?"

She cast her eyes to the mattress, he cupped her face and brought her back to him, her eyes shinning with tears in the pale light of the room, "For… not seeing that you we're hurting… for hurting you… for turning everything around on you… I'm sorry, Elliot."

"You have noth-"

She covered his lips with her palm, "Don't say I have nothing to be sorry about, I have so much to be sorry about, I wasn't innocent in all of this, Elliot… I know that I've hurt you so badly by leaving the house and I'm not going to sit here and offer you any justification for what I did, but… I will tell you that I'm sorry for doing it, I'm sorry I put you through that misery, I'm sorry our friends kept you at a distance… I'm sorry I didn't see how much you we're truly hurting, I saw the alcohol and I reacted, and I'm sorry." She whispered finally lowering her hand from his lips.

"Liv," he curled his lips in understanding and ran his knuckle over her cheek, "You're mother was an alch-"

"No." She wrapped her hand around his neck and rested her forehead against his shaking hers softly, "No. This can't be about me. Not this. It has to be about you Elliot, I'm sorry for what I've done to you."

He closed his eyes soaking in her admission; truly it had been all he'd wanted to hear. Her confession that she was sorry for running him through the mud. He'd happily go through the mud for her any day of the week, but to hear her offer an unjustified apology was what he needed to hear.

"I'm sorry, that I made you feel… less of the man I married." She whispered splaying her hand over his cheek and kissing him softly, sucking gently on his lip, "You're the perfect man for me and for our kids." She whispered rubbing his bicep softly, "I'd be so lost without you next to me… I'm sorry I was wallowing in my own misery and I didn't notice yours, I'm so sorry Elliot."

"Oliv-"

"No. Let me finish." She said shaking her head and licking her lips, "I did a horrible thing Elliot, accusing you of an affair, even with what I thought was clear evidence, I still should have just asked you… I'm sorry… I'm sorry that I questioned your love for me, questioned the vows you took… I'm sorry."

"Olivia? Where is all of this coming from?" He asked softly.

She nodded and sniffled, "Please don't ask me to explain myself."

"Why?"

"I just needed… I needed to tell you that, sometimes I'm arrogant of your love…. I'm… I don't mean to be that way… and I really don't mean to come across like I'm perfect."

He smiled, tipped her head up, "Liv," he whispered her name and she was confused with the sparkle in his eye, "I don't think either of us is perfect, we've both been broken more than once over the last few years… I don't see you as perfect, I see you as… Olivia." He assured her kissing her lips softly, "We're both insanely stubborn, and I confess," he whispered touching her belly, "I could have saved my pregnant wife a lot of stress if I would have just told her that I was feeling jealous of her and our friends, if I would have told her that I wanted to pull lieutenant."

"Please," she pleaded softly, "Don't… don't make me out to be good, I just… I needed to tell you that I love you, that I know leaving the house crushed you and… I'm sorry."

He grinned brightly and touched her face softly, "You are so amazing." He whispered.

She broke and sobbed into his chest, "Why do you always want me to know that? I'm not good El, I'm not… I'm… I-"

"You're amazing." He whispered again and kissed her mouth.

"El," She shook her head, "Please… I need you to not say those things to me right now… I need you to know that, I'm sorry I've paid lip service to your wounds, tha-"

"Who told you that?" he asked tilting his head, "Who told you such an incredible lie?"

She wiped her nose with her hand and frowned, "You-you don't believe that?"

"No." he smiled softly, "Liv… I know that you were asking and begging me to open up to you, I know I had opportunity to talk to you, I know that. I was just too stubborn and prideful to do it… I didn't want you to think I was less of a man."

She propped her head up, extended her feet to his and tangled them together under the comforter, "El… do you know, I mean, do you truly know, that I don't think you're any less of the man I married? Do you know that?"

"I doubted it for awhile," he confessed and tangled his hand with hers holding the set between them, "but… I'm seeing things a little more clearly tonight."

"Tonight?"

"I love you unconditionally Liv, but… I needed to hear what you've told me… I needed to hear it come from you."

She pressed her lips together and blinked out her tears, "I'm sorry I was too much of a wuss to tell you sooner."

"Why?" he asked gently, "Why couldn't you tell me things before?"

"El… I don't want to justify what I'm saying… I don't want to tell you I'm sorry and then turn this around so you take care of me, you put me before yourself too much, and I'm guilty for letting you do it… could you please, maybe just accept an unexplained apology?"

He cupped his hand around her neck, pulled her gently to him and kissed her forehead, "I don't know what Vivian told you today… I don't know what you've talked about, but hearing the things you've told me tonight… I think I've fallen in love with you all over again."

She let out a half sob and play slapped his chest, "Why are you so good to me?"

"Because no matter what we go though, Liv… we always come out on top… why would I not want to be good to you?"

She grinned through her tears and buried her face in his neck, a gentle kiss and nuzzle with her nose, "I love you."

"I love you too." He whispered and kissed the top of her head softly, "Did we get stuffing for the turkey?"

She laughed hard into his body, pulling him closer, "Nice change of subject… yep, we did, and everyone else is bringing food, so we're good. Thanksgiving is gonna be good this year, El."

He smiled softly as he rubbed her belly, the silk of her skin against his fingertips having positive effects on his body, "Liv?" he whispered in her ear.

"Yeah?" she smiled against him.

"Can I… make love to you?"

She grinned and pulled back, "You want to make love to me? With me being this insanely large?"

He pulled her leg close to him; let his forming erection rub against her thigh. Her breath hitched, her eyes closed and he grinned, "Hmm, if I didn't know any better… I'd say you wanted to make love to me too."

She opened her eyes, leveled her gaze at him and slowly began to unbutton her flannel top with one hand, "You have no idea how much I've wanted to make love to you."

He raised his brows and grinned, "Did I keep you waiting long?"

"Maybe we needed it." She whispered covering his hand and placing it on her naked breast, "But… I don't want to wait any longer."

He smiled, "Should we? Can we with you so far along?"

She laughed and kissed his mouth, "Book says nothing deep or crazy… I'm sure we can manage something."

His face was serious and she realized what he was asking for, to reconnect with her, to be inside of her and near her. He attempted to help her to her side, she groaned. "What?" he furrowed his brow, "Did I hurt you?"

"No." She smiled, "I just… I miss making love to you face to face."

He smiled and kissed her shoulder, "I stole your Kama Sutra."

She grinned and turned to face him, "Yeah? Find anything interesting?"

He chuckled, "Oh… you'd be amazed at what I found, but alas," he whispered standing to his feet, "it wasn't very pregnant friendly."

"Oh." She frowned, "I don't mind the other posi-" she stopped when he dropped his flannel pants releasing a beautiful erection that had Olivia smiling and covering her face with her hand.

He kneeled on the bed, crawled over her body starting at her swollen ankle and kissing her leg, a soft trail to her inner thigh and panties, "I like these." He smiled, "but… they've got to go." He whispered and gladly helped her out of them letting them fall to the floor before kissing her belly button that was currently an 'outie' due to her pregnancy. He kissed her belly, draped himself over her, careful not to rest his weight on hers.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?" he whispered kissing the curve of her breast.

"Not… uh… I just… can we take it slow later? I want you inside of me."

He grinned, "Sit up?"

"Huh?"

"Sit up." He said again and helped her up as he stood to his feet and gently pushed her shirt off of her shoulders, "I had something crazy in mind but-"

"What was it?" She asked looking up at him with a devious smile.

"Well," he smirked laying her down so her feet touched the floor, "I was gonna ask you how you feel about make love on the kitchen table?"

She laughed out loud and covered her face to hide her blush, "I'd break it."

"It's real wood." He protested.

"I'd break it!" she laughed again and then looked up at him growing serious, "Make love to me… please? We can file the kitchen table under things to do, but… I want you."

He grinned and stepped between her legs, "I read about this… it's suppose to be easier for you." He whispered lacing his hands with hers and lowering his stance as he stood.

"No more talking." She told him anxiously and wrapped her legs around him, "Just… let me have you?"

He grinned at her and locked his gaze with hers pushing slowly into her. She sucked in a sharp breath and groaned.

"What?"

She shook her head, "Just feels… different… full."

"Want to st-"

"No!" she shook her head touching his chest, "Don't even think it." She smiled and locked her legs behind his, drawing him further into her, tossing her head back as he pinned her hands on either side of her and moved slowly inside of her.

They held each others gazes as they moved in the cool of night, they moved because they needed one another, because they had one another and because they wanted one another. They moved because together they would get through anything, they would conquer anything and they would take on anything.

He watched her eyes dilate as he produced perfect figure eights with his hips, felt her fingernails dig into his hands as her breath shuddered and he gently pushed her over the edge, catching her softly as she sailed back into her own body and he groaned his release into her shoulder. She watched him gasp, his body tired from the position he was in, she pulled him up to be next to her and smiled as she looked at him. He grinned.

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"I got fish!" Elliot laughed stepping into the bedroom and flipping on the light only to find his wife not there.

"Liv?" he called looking at his watch and noticing the late hour, "Liv… where ya at?"

"Here." She called back from the restroom.

He entered slowly and found her bracing herself over the sink, "I got fish… what's wrong?"

"How was the trip?" She smiled holding out her hand to him. He took it and tipped her chin to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing… just… um, like cramps." She breathed out.

"Cramps or labor?" He asked turning her to face him.

"Ehh, cramps I think." She smiled, "I don't know what labor feels like, remember?" she chuckled, "The girls… I think that they're just… getting situated for the night."

"It's one in the morning." He said softly, "Want to try the water again?"

"I think it calms them." She said shaking her head, "Would you mind? I know it's cold."

"I don't mind." He assured her and started to strip down to his boxers and turn the shower water on to warm. He helped her out of her pajamas and chuckled, "Geeze…you must have gained ten pounds!"

"Bite me!" she laughed and winced, "Please… please help me."

"Okay." He smiled at adjusted the shower stream to hit the right spot, he sat on the side of the tub and helped her onto his lap allowing the stream to massage her belly, "Better?"

"No." She shook her head, "But… maybe a few more minutes?"

"Okay." He grinned and kissed her shoulder.

"El."

"Yeah?"

"You smell like fish." She chuckled.

"I caught four, Robert and Paul came up with zilch and I think Mac tried to sabotage my pole." He laughed rubbing her belly soothingly.

"So… you had a good time with them?" She asked taking a slow breath.

"Yeah… it was… it was needed." He whispered, "Thank you for letting me go."

"Letting you?" She laughed, "No… It wasn't about letting… I just knew you needed it."

"I talked to them."

"Really?" She asked almost shocked at the confession.

"Yeah," he smiled against her, "I told them how I felt… in a manly way of course."

"Of course." She grinned relaxing against him.

"They let me know I was full of crap and they love me." He laughed, "Got to love the male communication factor, huh?"

She laughed, "Yeah… you feeling better?"

He wrapped his arms around her nuzzled her ear with his nose and grinned, "Yeah, I've got you… I'm good."

"It has nothing to do with me… I want to know, are you good for you?"

"Yeah… yeah I am."

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She woke up, barely minutes after she'd fallen asleep to insane pain in her belly. She groaned slightly and padded her way to the bathroom, "Come on girls." She whispered, "This is bathroom trip number six tonight." She laughed lowering her self to the toilet and groaning, it was the same result each time. The intense feeling of having to pee only to get to the restroom and find out she didn't really have to.

She shook her head washing her hands and rinsing. Groaning as more pain shot through her belly. She'd never experienced it before, it was so much different from the cramps she was use too. She dropped the towel when she felt another sharp and uncomfortable pain rip through her side.

Slowly, she made her way back to the bed, "Elliot." She whispered shaking his body softly, "El, wake up."

He turned and looked at her blinking his eyes, "Hey," he smiled softly, "What is it? You okay?"

"It's time."


	36. Chapter 36 Epidural

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 36

Epidural

Elliot sat up in bed, dazed with sleep, "It's time for what?" he asked through a yawn as he took her hand, "come back to bed. I don't have to work tomorrow and I thought we could sleep-"

"El," she smiled touching her fingers to his mouth, "I mean it's time… I think I'm going into labor."

"OH!" he arched his brows, bolted up and literally crawled frantically across the bed, still naked from a late night romp after the boys had fallen asleep, "Okay-okay," he said crawling off the foot of the bed and making a complete circle until he spotted the dresser, he was a bundle of nerves as he flipped on the light, "okay-okay," he repeated again and returned to opening the dresser drawer, "okay-clothes. We need clothes." He said scrubbing his hand over his face before riffling through the clothing and pulling out a pair of pants and shirt for her.

"El," she breathed deeply.

"Hold on," he assured her as he continued to scrounge around the closet for shoes that actually fit her, "I got it Liv, no worries, I've practiced," he told her as he tossed shoes on the bed. She stood in the same place, holding her belly and watching her husband unravel in excitement and nervousness. She smiled.

She continued to watch, amused, as he hurriedly tried to climb into jeans, hoping on one leg only to trip and fall before standing up again. He held his pants as if the act of zipping and buttoning them would use too much time. She continued to watch him as he grabbed blindly for a shirt from the closet and frowned unable to get his arm through the sleeve, "What the h-"

"It's mine," she said, rubbing her belly, "El?"

"I knew it was," he said, trying to cover for his mishap. He wanted her to know he could do this. He could get her to the hospital just fine. He grabbed another shirt from the closet and slipped into it buttoning only necessary buttons before gathering jackets and his wallet as quickly as possible and leaving the room.

She rubbed her belly, breathed through a bout of pain and continued to stand naked and slightly shocked that he had left her. She struggled to hold in her chuckle as she heard the front door open and suddenly close, his footsteps pacing back down the hall, before he re-appeared and took her hand pulling her behind him, "Sorry," he said hastily.

"El."

"Come on, Liv… we're having a baby," he told her giving her an extra tug.

She stopped and pulled him to look at her, "El," she grinned, "I'm naked… can I at least have some clothes before you drag me out of the house?"

He closed his eyes and smiled bashfully, "Right… could be a problem," he muttered, stepping to the bed and retrieving her clothes, "here. Put these on and-"

"Elliot," she whispered his name softly and hooked her hand around his neck pulling him close to her. She rested her hand over his heart and smiled, "you're nervous."

He wrapped his arms around her; her back surprisingly warm despite November temperature, "I'm just so excited my boys are finally coming."

"Hate to break it to you El, but it's your girls that are making their debut." She smiled and pulled back, kissing him softly on the jaw, "I hope you've got some names handy."

"I do." He grinned resting his hands on her belly, "Girls and boys… I'll name one and you name one… that's the deal remember?"

"So long as there's no Apples or Mercedes… it's a deal." She smiled and the groaned burring her head into his neck.

"Contraction?"

"Hell if I know." She whispered, balling his shirt into her fist, "This is really gonna hurt isn't it?"

"Can you say epidural?" he joked, "come on, let's get you dressed."

"I need to take a shower," she said shaking her head and stepping back.

"What!" he asked in shock, "Olivia, you're in labor."

She smiled, "You always were a good detective… El, I talked with Casey a few weeks ago and she said to wait to go to the hospital until the contractions are around two minutes… I'm nowhere near that… I just know that it's time, but I don't want to spend all of that time in the hospital… I just… please, help me take a shower?"

He smiled softly and kissed her lips, "Okay, let's go."

She stepped into the shower uncharacteristically clumsily, but she was in labor so he'd give her mercy and withhold the teasing for now. "Need help?" he asked.

"Mmm, please." She whispered closing her eyes against another stab of pain and rubbing her belly as the water trickled over her skin.

He rolled up his sleeves and reached for soap, "What are we doing here?"

"My hair, please."

"Your hair," he repeated "you're going into labor and you want your hair washed?" He laughed and squeezed some shampoo into his hands as she wet her hair.

"I just… last time, I didn't get a choice in what I looked like, and I woke up… not in my clothes. I didn't like that feeling." She whispered and smiled feeling his fingers at her scalp, "Thank you."

"No problem but, you'd better tell me every time you have pain. I'll keep my eye on my watch."

"Okay." She nodded softly and let him lead her back under the water.

"Keep your eyes closed, Liv." He whispered rinsing her hair only to have her suddenly reach out for him and groan into his chest, "I'll take it that was a pain?" he asked with a small smile.

"Y-yeah… that one hurt… a little bit." She chuckled letting it pass as she straightened back up grinning as he reached for he lufa, "You know," she smiled handing him her body gel, "it was that lufa and you wanting to wash me that got us naked last night."

He grinned and ran the small bundle over her belly, "If it wasn't for the whole, labor thing, I'd take you right here tonight… again."

She smiled and chuckled and let him continue to wash her. She smiled that she was going into labor but she still enjoyed his hands on her body as he rinsed her. She grinned, she was going into labor, her girls would be here shortly, "Alright Liv, step on out."

"Wait-" she shook her head.

"What? You've got nothing else to wash." He chuckled.

"Please El… can you shave my legs again?"

He looked at her completely bewildered, "Liv… we need to get you to the hospital."

"El," She shook her head and cupped his face, "Please? There's gonna be people… looking at me and you distracted me from shaving last night." She grinned, "I don't want gross legs… especially if I'm gonna be on display… it's already embarrassing enough for me… please?"

He smiled, "Sit on the toilet, though." He whispered and helped her out of the shower and draping her robe over her body as she began to shiver, "Come on, warm up." He said softy and reached for his robe as well, draping it over her and smiling, "Alright, let's do this." He said shaking his head and kneeling, to apply the shaving gel, "you know Olivia," he smiled rubbing the foam over her leg, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were stalling."

She attempted a smile then groaned at more pain as she dug her hand into his shoulder, "El," She panted, "There's some things you can't stall… these girls are coming, I just don't want to spend more time in the hospital than I have too."

"I know." He smiled and ran the razor carefully over her flesh, "I love you… you know that right?"

"You love me unconditionally. Yeah, I know that." She smiled softly and rested backwards rubbing her belly as he made careful strokes, "After this… will you lay down with me? In our own bed?"

"Liv… we need to go to the hospital." He said earnestly.

"Please?" she whispered, "Just until the contractions are closer together?"

He agreed and finished her legs, reaching for lotion least she have to beg him to do that as well. He applied it soothingly and helped her to her feet, "let's get clothes on you first… just in case we have to get you out the door fast, huh?"

"Okay."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't care if I have to carry you out of the house, we're leaving when the contractions are five minutes apart."

"Elli-"

"No arguing, that's how it's gonna happen." He told her handing her some clothes, "Get into these, put your shoes on and I'll go call Mac to stay with the boys."

"Mac?" she asked pulling her shirt on.

"Yeah well, did you really think Alex or Casey was gonna wanna baby-sit while two more of their nephews were born? Please!" he laughed walking away. In minutes he was back and already on her, "Liv… your shoes, come on stop being obstinate."

"El," She laughed rubbing her belly, "You put my heels out… you don't think I'm actually capable of wearing those do you?" she asked with a smirk.

He shook his head looking at her high heeled shoes, "Sorry." He laughed and retrieved a pair of slip ons for her, "I'll leave them by the door okay… five minutes, Olivia." He reiterated and helped her back onto the bed slipping in behind her and wrapping his arms around her, "This okay?"

"More than okay." She whispered and then dug her nails into his forearm and moaned softly at the sensation in her belly, "Wow… this is really gonna kick my butt."

He snickered and kissed her neck, "It'll be okay."

"El?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm… scared."

"I know you are, honey, but I'll be right next to you the whole time, and Alex and Casey will be there, waiting and Mac will be with the boys, all you've got to worry about is what we learned in the birthing classes, and focusing on these two babies tonight, okay… I'll be right there for you, for every push. I love you."

She reached back and cupped his face, "I love you too."

After several minutes he felt her body wince as her groan broke their silence, "That's seven minutes, Liv."

"El," she exhaled slowly and clutched his hands, "You're gonna be right next to me, right?"

He smiled at her nervousness, "Come hell or high water," he assured her and rubbed her belly gently, "You're gonna be a mommy again, Baby. By this time tomorrow, you're gonna be a mommy."

She grinned when the pain subsided and laced her fingers over his, "Thanks… you made me a mommy again… I guess we showed Casey up this time, huh?"

Elliot chuckled softy and kissed her neck, "Well… that was my plan."

"Elliot?" she breathed deeply, closing her eyes and willing the pain away.

"Yeah?" he whispered from behind and gently pulled her hair back behind her ear frowning at what he saw, "why are you crying? Is it hurting too much? Come on, let's go then, the faster we get to the hospital the faster they can give you meds an-"

"El… it's not the pain." She sniffled.

"What is it?" he asked furrowing his brow, "Tell me… let me make it better."

She took in a breath, "We're good right? You and I? We're on the upswing now?"

He paused for a moment, took a cursory look of her body and the tear streak that ran down her face and fell in love with her all over again for the millionth time since they'd been together, he reached and carefully tipped her chin around so she was forced to look at him, he kissed her softly, cupping her face and sipping from her lips, "You and I are good, we're on the upswing and with Vivian's help, it's just gonna keep getting better… no worries tonight Liv, you and I, we're indestructible, nothing will separated us, okay?"

She smiled and kissed him back, "Hey… I don't think I told you, but, well, I thought you might like to know that you were pretty miraculous last night."

"Miraculous?" he grinned turning red, "Really?"

She chuckled and kissed his lips again, "Yeah, and I'm glad you made love to me last night… 'cause you and I aren't seeing any action for awhile now." She laughed as he pouted. She reached behind her and cupped his face, "Of course… I'm sure I can think of something."

He laughed and pulled her tighter against him, "You're so diabolical, and its so sexy that your gonna get me into trouble tonight, Liv."

She giggled and then suddenly sucked in air at more pain, "Uggh, this. Is gonna. Suck."

Just breath through it, "That's six minutes." He whispered, "Squeeze my hands if you want." Not that she wasn't already doing that.

"Six minutes?" she asked panting.

"Yeah, thereabouts." He assured her.

"Can we… go now?"

"You don't want to wait until five or two?" he asked, "I'll be here with you."

"There coming faster… I don't think… with the drive that we'll make it, I think I should stop being stubborn now." She smiled, then groaned and winced producing what he would have classified as a growl as she held her belly, "El-"

"Say no more, let's go." He said and promptly helped her out of the bed and into her shoes. He led her down the darkened hall almost too fast.

"Slower… please, I can't keep up." She said softly almost exhausted already and she was only in what he thought might be the pre labor or active stages, "Okay, okay." He whispered and pulled her close to him, "rest against me for a sec, huh?"

"Yeah." She shook her head and buried her face in this neck, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

He smiled and kissed her forehead, "I know… come one let's get you in the car."

He helped her shuffle down the steps of the porch, "Mustang or SUV? SUV might be harder to get into." He suggested.

"No… no, um, the car seats and bag, we put all of that in SUV," she breathed, "and I have a hard time getting out of the mustang."

"Okay." He said softly as she started to shiver in the cool air, "Let's go… looks like it snowed a little last night." He smiled and helped her into the SUV."

"El?" She swallowed and leaned back into the seat, "Do you think Isaac has ever seen the snow?"

Elliot smiled softly, "You know something, I'm not sure. But if he hasn't… we've got all winter to show it to him." He said kissing her forehead and helping her with her seat belt.

He slid into the seat next to her and started the car, immediately turning on the heater, "Um… El…, you forgetting something?" she asked with a smirk and nodded her head back to the house.

Elliot slipped his seatbelt off and blushed, "Right… the boys, um I'll call Mac and have him meet us at the hospital instead, that work for you?"

"Yeah." She smiled and watched as Elliot returned several minutes later with two sleep zombie little boys. He strapped Isaac into his car seat and smiled as the little boy drifted back off to sleep unconcerned that he'd been taken from his bed in the middle of the night. For a moment, Elliot didn't like that thought. He wondered if Isaac was unconcerned when he was taken from his crib and placed into a strange car that didn't smell like him mother or his father. He pushed the thought away and quickly helped a groggy Sam into the car.

"Mom?" Sam asked in a tired voice, "Why are we up? It's too early. I don't feel the sun and it's very cold."

"I know its cold, honey." She assured him and adjusted the heater to the back of the car, "But, your sisters are wanting to meet you tonight and I don't think I can put it off until it gets warmer." She smiled as Elliot started to back the vehicle out of the drive way.

Sam exhaled and reached over to Isaac, tucking a blanket over the little boy before yawning, "Mom, will they like me?"

Olivia grinned in spite of pain, "They'll love you."

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"What do you mean I can't go in with her? I'm her husband!" Elliot snapped at the nurse as Olivia was seated in a wheelchair and properly whisked away.

"El!" She called to him almost frantically and asked the nurse to stop, "El, please come with me." She said pleadingly.

"Miss," A nurse cut in, "He needs to fill out paperwork and someone needs to be here with your boys."

"I've got the boys covered." Mac said out of breath and panting as he trotted up to them and looked at Elliot, "You said 'the hospital' would have been nice to tell me which one."

Elliot shook his head, "Sorry, Man, things got crazy."

"No problem." Mac grinned, "I'll take the boys, Fin and Cragen were pulling in as I got here."

"The whole squad!" Olivia groaned, "El, I don't want them to see me like this."

"Relax Benson." Mac smiled rubbing her shoulder, "They already knew that, they just want to wait it out with you, no one has any desire of infringing on you two when the babies are born, except, of course, Alex and Casey who have called me six or seven times already." He smiled and kneeled next to her as Elliot continued to argue with the nurse, there was no way he was letting Olivia out of his sight, even if it was just for the prep stage.

"Olivia." Mac smiled softly, "I haven't been able to really get to know you… but I just wanted to tell you that you're gonna do great in there and there's nothing to be scared of, the doctors are gonna be great, this hospital is where my wife delivered our son." He smiled softly.

She was taken off guard, "You're son?"

He smiled sadly and ignored her question leaning into her ear and whispered, "My wife told me when the baby started to crown that it was very uncomfortable… she said what got her through was not pushing and just breathing, okay… do that… just breath in there, alright?"

She smiled at him, "You realize you just opened yourself up, right? You realize when I get out of here I'm gonna grill you? You've never seen me in an interrogation before… I can be ruthless."

He smiled standing to his feet and gave her a friendly kiss on her forehead, "Just giving you something to take your mind off the labor." He winked and gathered up the boys, "Who wants Ice cream?"

"Mac!" Elliot called quickly and tossed him his wallet, "Get a hotel on us… that way when the babies are here-"

Mac tossed his wallet back and grinned, "I'll get it on me… good luck guys."

"Please say you can come with me?" Olivia asked lacing her fingers with his.

"He can now." Cragen smiled rubbing her shoulder softly, "This old dog made them see things our way. Well get your paperwork filled out. Anything we don't know I'll call the station and have them pull it for me." He chuckled then rushed them off, "Hurry up… I want to see those babies."

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"Alright," a young nurse smiled walking into the room, "We've got your gown and you're razor and your enema."

"We've brought our own gown." Elliot assured the nurse.

"We did?" Olivia asked with furrowed brows.

"I'm sorry sir, but it has to be a hospital gown so there's easier access for the doctors-"

"It's a hospital gown," Elliot assured her, "and it's even been sterilized." he smiled confidently as he pulled it out of Olivia's labor bag. Olivia was about to ask how he'd managed that but another contraction was showing it self.

He let her smash his fingers together, he'd given up on telling her to hold his hand or to squeeze it, she was doing such a good job obliterating it. "I don't think we have time to argue about a gown." He smiled at the nurse and let Olivia bury her face in his chest as the pain peeked and passed, "Believe me when I tell you, I've saved you a whole lot of time and headache bringing our own gown… she would have fought you the whole way." He said rubbing her back softly.

The nurse checked the bag the gown was in, "This is hospital sterilization… how did yo-"

"Are we really gonna argue about this?" Olivia asked softly, "Please, whatever he brought me, I know there will be a reason and he wouldn't do anything to hurt the babies… the gown he brought is fine."

"But."

"It's that or I'm doing this thing naked, make up your mind. Because I'm having these pre-labor Hinx's or whatever the hell they're called and quite frankly they're hurting even though they're not suppose to.. so again, I'm gonna say, the gown is fine." She said slightly irritated but softly nonetheless. No reason to get riled up when her babies were coming.

"They're called Braxton Hicks contractions… and your right, for most women," The nurse said softly as she reluctantly opened the gown, "they're painless… you must not be most woman."

Elliot smiled and kissed the crown of Olivia's head, "No, she's not."

The nurse grinned looking at the gown, "I think I understand now," she said laying it on the bed, "I'm gonna step out while you change."

"El," Olivia shook her head sitting up, "man, this is so uncomfortable."

He smiled, "This time tomorrow-"

"You'll be a daddy again." She smiled touching his chest.

He kissed her lips softly, "And you'll be a mommy."

She grinned.

"Let's get you out of those clothes."

"El," she smirked, "I'm in labor, you can't make love to me."

He let out a healthy laugh and rested his forehead against hers, "I'm just trying to get your gorgeous body in this gown… why are you so talkative? I thought you'd be trying to kill me."

"I don't know, Casey said it's like that in the pre labor stage, you know… excited," she said with a grin, "but don't worry, she said I'll try and kill you during the transition part."

He laughed and helped her out of her shirt and helped her slide her arms into the gown as he kissed her while he tied the strap behind her neck. He was about to pull away when she pulled him closer and deepened the kiss before letting him go, "Wow, what was that for?" he grinned.

"Things might get ugly in here El," she whispered with a soft smile, "I might say some things that I don't mean-"

"Don't worry." He grinned, "I've talked to Robert and I'm wearing a cup."

She laughed as he helped her stand and squirm out of her pants, "Wow!" she gasped, "El… how did you do this?" she said looking down at the gown and seeing various pictures of her with the boys and with Elliot.

"I got those pack things at the store and scanned the photos and ironed them on." He grinned.

"You domestic god." She grinned looking at the photos, "thank you so much." She whispered, "This is better than a framed picture any day of the week." She chuckled as he helped her back up.

"When you sit up, you can concentrate on them… I did it so you could keep them in focus while you delivered my boys."

She smiled, "I will definitely keep them in focus as I deliver our girls."

"Want to put a wager on what we have?"

"I bet you a weeks worth of massages we're having girls." She smiled rubbing her belly.

He grinned, "Well, I prefer body oil when you have to give me those massages."

"You're on Stabler." She laughed and hissed at the same time, "Geeze… how close now?" she groaned.

"Um… actually they've gotten a little further apart, but remember? Sometimes that happens." He assured her.

"Okay." The nurse came back in, "Wow, that really is a cute gown."

"Why thank you." Elliot grinned, "My wife makes it look really good, doesn't she?"

The nurse smiled, "Yes, she does. Olivia, we need you to go to the restroom and, we'll need you to shave completely okay?"

Olivia blushed, "No need… it's done." She whispered remembering the conversation with Elliot wherein they'd agreed to keep themselves shaven because of the heightened pleasure. She heard Elliot snicker and wanted to slug him, "My husband is also clean shaven." She smiled effectively shutting Elliot up. He turned bright red and Olivia knew she'd got him. "Anything else El?" she asked playfully.

"No." he grinned, "I'm good."

"Alright." The nurse laughed shaking her head, "Then there is just the last step of your enema an-"

"I'm sorry," Olivia shook her head, "My what?"

"Your enema." The nurse repeated, "its okay, Olivia, we do it to everyone who's going to deliver vaginally."

"Yeah, except me." Olivia shook her head. "I'm not having an enema, forget about it, I'll walk out of here and deliver these babies…. in a pool or something. No enema."

"Mrs. Stabler."

"No." she said burring her face in the safety of her husband's chest.

"Liv." Elliot whispered pulling her back to look at him, "Why are you scared?"

"It's got nothing to do with fear, El… come on… isn't it bad enough that strangers are gonna be looking up my gown, and have their hands on me… an enema? Come on, can we get any more humiliating?"

"Well, you could pass fecal matter when you bare down." The nurse offered matter of factly, "This might prevent that."

Olivia groaned and flopped her head back into his chest, suddenly grabbing her belly and letting out another growl and clutching his shirt in her hand, "Go ahead." He whispered, "Breath through it, you've got this." He assured her.

"No enema." She whispered to him, "Please don't let them do that."

"Liv… you don't want it because you're embarrassed, but, what if what the nurse described happens? You're gonna be even more embarrassed because people will have to clean up after you and they'll be looking at you when it happens. I know this is less than perfect, but I think it would save you embarrassment if you did it before you have to start pushing… don't you?"

She groaned, "I hate it when you're right, you know that? It's irritating."

He chuckled, "I feel the same when your right."

"El, could you… maybe… not be here… when they do it?"

"You can do it in the restroom, if you'd like." The nurse interjected softly, "We don't want you embarrassed but we do want you healthy and comfortable… I'll help you and then we'll get you in the bed and you can talk with your hubby and we'll keep an eye on you… how's that?"

"Go with her Liv." Elliot whispered softly and helped her slip off the bed.

"Alright," Olivia grumbled walking to the nurse, "Let the humiliation begin."

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"El this is so bad." She groaned grinding her teeth through a contraction, "it's one after another." She moaned, "it hurts."

"I know-"

"Oh, really? Have you been in labor?" she snapped, "No you haven't… this is brutal."

He smiled, "Hmm, I think we might be in the transition part huh?"

"Uggh, please stop talking to me." She groaned and rolled her head, "my back is killing me."

"Let me touch you." He whispered unconcerned with her remarks, he'd probably be doing the same if he were in her position.

"Nothing is comfortable." She groaned, "It's been hours, El… tell these kids to get a move on." She moaned, "This is ridiculous."

He chuckled, "Yeah, this is the transition phase, no doubt."

She groaned, held her hands to her stomach and screeched at the pain, "This isn't funny!" she barked.

"I'm sorry." He said with a smile and held her hand, "The doctor's are gonna do the epidural soon, and that should help you."

"Screw the doctors… El, just cut them out of me… why won't they do a C-section?" she asked groaning as another contraction griped her.

"You asked them to let you deliver them this way… you hadn't experienced it with Isaac, you asked them not to do a C-section if they didn't have to."

"Why did you let me ask such a stupid thing?" she moaned letting out a sob, "Why didn't you tell me it was gonna hurt like this?"

He rubbed her belly and perched himself onto the bed, his head next to hers, "Do you remember this picture?" he asked pointing to the one of her and Isaac only hour after he'd been born.

"Yeah," she whispered painfully, "I could never forget that day… holding him for the first time, I didn't know I could love so much. I didn't know I had any love left after I feel for you." She said softly.

He kissed her shoulder, "This is my favorite one."

"I don't remember that?" she said with furrowed brows, "When was that?" she asked looking at her gown that draped over her bulging belly.

"The first time I made love to you he whispered, you fell asleep in my arms just like this and I thought you were the most sexy person I'd ever seen in my life. I slipped out of bed and took this picture while you slept that morning."

She smiled at him, "Sneaky."

"I wanted to remember what you looked like that night." He grinned blushing.

"Where've you been hiding it?"

"In my journal."

"Your journal?"

"You'd never read it." He grinned and kissed her. "Do you want some water? You haven't had any for awhile."

"Please." She whispered and then winced again, "When are they gonna come and stab me in my back to kill the pain?"

"Soon." He assured her passing a cup to her, "little sips, Liv."

"El," she panted, "This is excruciating and I haven't even started pushing."

"Do you want the epidural?"

"They said I have to, in case the second baby needs to come out by C-section." She said taking deep breaths, "I don't think I can do this."

"You can."

"I can't."

"You will."

"I'm so tired already." She groaned, "I want this to be over already… it's taking to long, I just want to see them."

"You will." He assured her and kissed her again, "You will."

The door opened gently, "Ready for the good stuff, Mrs. Stabler?" a young anesthesiologist asked with a smile.

"About ten hours ago." She grumbled, "Get over her, stab me and pump me full of whatever is gonna make this hurt less."

"Okay, I'll take a minute to set up, but go ahead and talk amongst yourselves." He encouraged.

She groaned again and screeched, "No, Liv… nothing high pitched, it'll make you more tense… low," Elliot corrected rubbing her back, "low and smooth."

"I'm never having sex with you again." She groaned, "Never."

"Yes you are." He laughed, "You can't go without it."

"Never." She shook her head reiterating her position.

"You'll be on me before you know it." He teased and smiled as she tried to hide her own smile.

"El," She swallowed hard as a shiver ran through her body, "I think I'm gonna puke."

"Oh, normal." The male nurse said reaching quickly for a pale and passing to Elliot as he held it under her mouth just in time.

"Ridiculous." She muttered in exhaustion, "So ridiculous… I've got things coming out of every orifice." She shook her head, "So degrading."

"No." Elliot assured her, "You're bringing our babies into the world… that's beautiful."

"Save the sap, El." She groaned breathing through another contraction as her body began to sweat, "How the damn epidural coming? You're moving about as fast as a glacier." She snipped.

He simply smiled, "Yep, someone is getting close." Two more nurses filed in.

"Great, it's a regular fiesta." Olivia grumbled.

"Help her up." The male nurse informed the others, "Okay, Olivia, were gonna hook you up to the good stuff."

"Oh, thank you God." She moaned as Elliot helped her up and to the edge of the bed. The two female nurses separated the gown in the back and helped her fold her body over, "This is also gonna help if the doctor does an episiotomy."

"Oh, shut up." Olivia groaned, "What? Labor isn't enough? You got to slice and dice too?"

"Liv," Elliot smiled apologetically at the nurses who simply grinned taking it in stride, "Shh, it's gonna be okay, you just have to be really still okay?"

"Well be done before you know it." The anesthesiologist assured her.

"Not if you don't ever start!"

"Okay, here we go." He smiled and began the procedure.

Elliot whispered gently in her ear and rubbed the sides of her thighs as she rested her forehead on his shoulder, "When Cragen told me, you were gonna be my partner, I begged him not to let that happen." He said softly, "I told him that if you were my partner I'd fall in love with you and it would ruin my career." He smiled feeling her smile against him, "You were cocky and timid all at once, I didn't think that was possible." He whispered, "And that smile, oh man, I knew I was done the first time you smiled… Munch was there and when I was getting ready to go home that night, he told me I'd be a fool if I didn't ask you out… so I asked you out every day for years until you caved. I'm so glad you caved for once in your life-"

"All done." The anesthesiologist proclaimed, "Now, that may or may not kick in completely for the first one, that all depends on what your body wants to do, but it'll be ready just in case you have to have a C-section for the second, Okay?"

Olivia shook her head and closed her eyes as she leaned back into position, "Whatever.. I just want to see them."

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"El?" Olivia said his name in hesitation.

"Yeah, what's wrong? Sick again?"

"No." she shook her head and focused down at her legs, "El… you check… I think…. I don't know I can't feel so much, but I think my water broke."

Elliot stared at her legs in shock. If her water broke it was just a matter of time.

"Elliot!" she groaned, "Please get someone."

"O-o-okay." He grinned kissing her forehead quickly and giving a quick look, "Yep!" He said excitedly as he went to the door "My boys are comin'"

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"Who the hell are you?" Olivia groaned as a male doctor walked in. The epidural took some of the edge off but wasn't kicking in like she anticipated.

"Where's her real doctor?" Elliot asked standing to his feet.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Wesson had a family emergency and your original doctor is simply not recovering from her injuries the way she thought she would, she sends her well wishes though, "I'm Dr. Dupree."

"I don't want another doctor!" Olivia groaned breathing hurriedly, "This isn't right, I asked for a female!"

"I'm sorry Ma'am."

"Olivia!" she snapped, "El, El, please, make them give me a female… I can't, not another one, please."

"There's no females?" Elliot asked softly.

"None that have experience with multiple births, no. But, if it will make Olivia feel better I can bring in a female crew to the O.R."

"The O.R?" Elliot asked.

"Yes… she had to do the actual delivery in the-"

She interrupted the conversation with a groan the signified definite pain, "Whatever! Just get them out of me, Please!"

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"You look cute." Olivia smiled softly as Elliot sat next to her in a mask, gloves and gown in the O.R.

"I should have been a doctor, huh?"

"Na… then I wouldn't have met you."

"Please!" he teased, "As much time as you've spent in the emergency room the past couple of years?"

She smiled.

"Alright Olivia, we're past the relaxation part, it's time to work." The doctor smiled up at her.

She furrowed her brows, "You think what I've been doing for the last nineteen hours wasn't work?" she turned to Elliot who took her hand, "He's an audacious bastard isn't he?"

The doctor laughed, "Give me a push Olivia." He said wheeling his chair closer, "ten seconds let's go."

"You bossy sonovabitch." She smiled down at him and began the long process of bringing her babies into the world.

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"No more!" she groaned, "El, I'm so tired… it's like they don't want to come out!"

"It's okay, they'll come." Elliot assured her.

"I see the head." The doctor said excitedly, "You're gonna crown on the next push, give it to me Olivia, let's see Whatchya got."

"Nothing." She exhaled and flopped back, "Please no more."

"Ten seconds Liv… that's all." Elliot whispered, "One ten second push, let's go, show them that Benson tenacity." He smiled.

She bore down, holding her breath for minimal comfort and baring her teeth with her effort. She shut her eyes tightly against the sweat that was dripping into them.

"STOP!" The doctor suddenly scolded, "Do. Not push. Again."

"W-what's wrong?" she panted.

"No pushing, Olivia." The doctor warned again and turned to the nurse, "Sterile scissors please."

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked firmly.

"Olivia," the doctor shook his head, "I'm sorry, but the babies head is too big-"

She turned sharply to Elliot, "The baby has your head!" she groaned, "This is your fault! That's why the baby can't come out!"

"You need an episiotomy." The doctor said softly as the nurse hurriedly passed the scissors to him, "There's no time for any more numbing meds but I think the epi has kicked in." he advised her, "We've got to get the baby, okay?" He didn't wait for her consent and snipped quickly.

She groaned, "Felt that"

"Bad?" Elliot asked truly hurting for his wife. He didn't want to know what that felt like and from the tear than ran down her face, he knew it hurt a lot more than she was letting onto.

"Just… a little… like a burn." She panted wiping her face.

"Alright Olivia, reach down and touch your baby, feel the baby's head." The doctor smiled.

"Want a mirror?" The nurse asked.

"Don't you dare." Olivia warned. She reached down and felt her baby's head crowing. Felt her baby for the first time and grinned.

"Push!" The doctor encouraged, and as if the touch was a jumpstart she gave it everything she had for ten long second and bared down. Elliot wasn't sure his hand would handle it.

"Heads out." The nurse smiled up at Olivia, "Just one more, and you'll meet your baby."

Olivia groaned, "Yeah, then I've got another one after that." She groaned running on zero energy.

"Push!" the doctor smiled up at her.

Olivia gave the last of what she had.

"Baby's out!" The doctor smiled swaddling the baby quickly as the nurse laid the baby on her chest.

"Oh wow." Olivia smiled down at the infant, "wow… what, what… boys or girls?"

"Healthy Boy." The nurse smiled picking him up.

"BOYS!" Elliot laughed, "Ha! I told ya, Liv… I've got boys!" he grinned.

"The doctor's gonna check the positioning of the other baby to see if you can deliver vaginaly." The nurse informed her and turned with her baby.

"Wait!" Olivia suddenly panicked, "Where are you taking him?"

The nurse smiled, "I'm gonna get him cleaned up while you deliver and well have him back to you in no time."

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"No, I'm sorry," The doctor exhaled shaking his head as he felt her abdomen, "No, he's not positioned correctly, I'm sorry to do it to you, but you're gonna have to bring this one into the world with a C-section.

Olivia groaned, "Right, because I've already been stabbed, cut and stretched as far as I ever thought… should have saw that one coming."

"It's common." The doctor smiled, "But you'll be awake for it."

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Several minutes later the doctor smiled up at Elliot and Olivia, "Alright, give me one more minute and you'll see your baby."

Olivia grinned in anticipation, "Boys, El… we've got four boys!"

Elliot laughed kissing her cheek through his mask, "Thank you so much."

"According to my biology class this is your doing." She teased resting her head against his, "I wish I could touch you, but they did something to my arms.

"It's okay, just rest… you feel any of this?"

"Just pressure." She assured him, "I wish they'd take that cloth down though, "I want to see my son… see who's been so reluctant on coming out." She smiled then frowned when Elliot frowned at the doctor who seemed to have stopped and stared down as the nurses moved frantically.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked.

The doctor shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Olivia furrowed her brow, and panicked, "El, what's wrong? I can't see? Why isn't the baby crying?"

The nurse worked quickly clearing the passage of the baby who immediately let out a screech.

Olivia exhaled.

Elliot let out a groan of relief.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, it's just," he smiled, "I'm sorry, but you don't have four boys."

"What?"

"You have three boys… and a beautiful little girl." He smiled at the two, "I'm gonna close you up after the placenta okay?" he informed Olivia who simply stared down at the tiny baby on her chest.

"A girl." Elliot grinned, "Oh, my goodness… Liv, the baby is a little girl."

Olivia's tears came immediately as she looked at the bundle, "Wow," she grinned, "We've got a little girl."

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After ensuring Olivia was asleep, back in her recovery room, Elliot made it way out to the waiting room, "I've got a boy and a girl!" he nearly shouted.

The group gathered around him and smiled, "A girl and a boy? What happened to twins?"

"Fraternal!" Elliot grinned, "It's so great, the little girl looks just like, Liv, and the boy has my head!"

"Ten fingers and toes?" Robert asked.

"I think he means twenty fingers and toes." Alex corrected with a grin, "How's Olivia?"

"Sleeping." Elliot smiled hugging Casey, "Thank you all for being with us… it took forever!"

"Yeah, no crap… what was the hold up?" Fin asked shaking his hand and pulling Elliot into a hug.

"Kids weren't wanting to come." Elliot smiled.

"Ah," Cragen laughed, "Stubborn just like there parents huh?"

"Oh yeah." Elliot laughed, "This is so great, I've got another little boy and this beautiful little girl."

Paul laughed, "You want someone to go get Mac?"

"Oh please!" Elliot said almost having forgotten, "Oh, man, Sam was right all along, a little boy and a little girl… wow, this is amazing." He whispered shaking his head, "So amazing, you should have seen them guys, and Liv… man she did so good."

"Fin and I have to head back to the station." Cragen interrupted patting his shoulder, "We'll stop by and tell Mac and send him over with some grub."

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Elliot stared at his wife. She was beautiful. She'd been asleep since she delivered their baby girl and they wheeled her out, that had been nearly six hours ago and he still hadn't been able to hold their babies. But he was Stabler Baby Boy and Stabler Baby Girl through the class and they were gorgeous, bar none.

"E… El?" She groaned waking up and trying to shift before hissing at pain, "Oh… man."

"Hey." He smiled sitting next to her, "How are you?"

"So tired. Where are they? Can we see them?" she asked.

"I think they want you to rest a little more before you try to feed them, but I saw both of them and they are the most beautiful little creatures I've ever seen, and Liv, our little boy has blond hair!"

Olivia smiled, "He'll fit in with the rest of the clan… I still don't know how we got three blond little boys." She laughed.

"Yeah but maybe our little girl makes up for it, 'cause she's got the blackest hair you've ever seen, it's so beautiful Liv." He grinned just as the door opened.

"Who wants to see babies?" The nurse smiled pushing in a small basinet followed by another nurse and bassinet.

"Bring them!" Olivia grinned, "Please! Oh wow, please let me hold them."

The nurse grinned, "Don't sit to far up, that epidural can do some crazy stuff to you if you sit-"

"Yeah," Olivia cut her off, "Please, the babies, we want to hold our babies."

The nurse chuckled, "Sally, give her one." The other nurse smiled picking up a pink bundle and handing her to Elliot who simply grinned down at this daughter.

"Are you breast feeding or bottle feeding?" the nurse asked resting the blued bundle in Olivia's arms.

"Both… I heard it's best for multiple births, right?"

"Yeah, it'll give your body a break, first baby?"

"No." Olivia grinned.

"Okay, then we'll leave you to feed these two little ones." She smiled, "but for the first feeding, you might want to feed them both by breast for bonding purposes."

"Okay." Olivia whispered starring down at her son, "He's so tiny."

The nurses left and Elliot laid perched next to his wife, "This little girl too." He grinned as Olivia lowered her gown and watched her son root around until he finally came in contact with her nipple and latched on.

They enjoyed the silence as they both looked between their two children, "She's a spitting image of you Liv." Elliot grinned, "She's gonna be a heart breaker."

"He's got your nose." Olivia smiled looking at Elliot.

"Oh, no." he groaned, "Don't say that."

She leaned up and kissed his nose, "I like your nose she whispered and I think you were right about something."

"Yeah? What's that?"

She grinned looking up at him, "If it wasn't for the whole, I just gave birth, had my body sliced down the center and then across my stomach… I'd make love to you right now."

He grinned kissing her cheek, "I knew it."

"Do you even have names for a girl?" she asked suddenly, "You were so set on boys-"

"Liv… I've got a beautiful name for this beautiful little girl and they were all names from the list so you'll like it, I think." He smiled softly, "You got a boys name? You were pretty set on girls."

"I've got a boys name." She assured him, "But, before you tell me…switch with me? He stopped sucking and I want to feed her."

Elliot grinned and carefully laid his daughter in Olivia's free arm before taking his son into his arms. Olivia folded down the opposite side of her gown and watched as her daughter showed no particular interest in feeding, "Not hungry? You've got to be." Olivia chuckled, "You were pretty stubborn about coming out."

"Maybe if you do that thing, like when Isaac wouldn't eat." Elliot suggested.

Olivia smiled and made a 'V' with her fingers pressing on either side of her nipple and letting it graze her daughters mouth who immediately latched on and proceeded to fill her tummy. "I knew you were hungry." Olivia whispered kissing her forehead softly. "I've known you since day one little girl. I've looked forward to you and your little brother for so long and here you two came on Thanksgiving… doesn't get much better than that."

"Well," Elliot smiled stroking his son's hair, "Maybe if I knew his name?"

Olivia laughed "You first… why don't you tell me who I'm feeding?"

Elliot grinned, reaching over and stroking his daughters cheek, "Olivia, meet your daughter, meet Hannah Elizabeth Stabler."

Olivia grinned, "I really like that." She assured Elliot and peered down at her daughter, "What about you? You like your name?"

"She should." Elliot smiled softly, "It's strong."

"Tell me what it means." Olivia said with a smile.

"Hannah means Favor of God and in the bible she struggled with her relationships but God came through for her, just like He has us." Elliot whispered touching Olivia's face, "Hannah was this incredibly strong woman who had it rough as a young woman and came out this beautiful creature… she'll be strong like you, Liv."

Olivia smiled down at Hannah as she continued to eat, "Hi," Olivia whispered, "Hannah Elizabeth… you're gonna be strong. Me and your daddy, we'll show you how."

"And Elizabeth means, 'my God is enough'." Elliot whispered kissing Olivia's cheek, "I heard you praying with Sam one night, you encouraged him to believe it and for the first time… it sounded like you really believed it too."

"He's gotten us through." Olivia smiled and reached to stroked her son's blond hair, "Want to know who you're holding? It's a mouth full."

Elliot grinned, "Lay it on me."

"Meet your son, Solomon John Isaiah Stabler."

"Four!" Elliot grinned kissing his son, "You've got four." He whispered, "Why four?" He asked Olivia.

"I really wanted to have John's name carried… he did so much for us, but I couldn't part with Isaiah and Solomon… so… four." She grinned, "do you like it?"

"What do they mean?" he asked looking down at his son, "Tell me."

"Solomon means peace. You and I, I think we're finally there El… with these two little ones, I think we can finally relax and enjoy our family without all the other stuff, and John means graciousness which is exactly what Munch was to our family."

"And Isaiah? I thought that would have been his first name?"

"No." Olivia laughed "It's too close to Isaac… I'd be confused half of the time." He chuckled softly and shifted Hannah who had since stopped eating. "Isaiah means God is Salvation and that's exactly what he was for us… when we thought we lost everything El, He kept us in the game, kept us fighting."

Elliot shook his head softly and kissed her mouth, "You and Sam make a pretty good preacher team."

She smiled softly, "Sam refuses to pray anymore."

"He'll come around." Elliot assured her, "He will… Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"They're twins."

She laughed, "You think?"

"I want to add a name to Hannah."

Olivia shrugged, "Okay, it's not like they've written it on the certificate yet."

"I'm changing it to, Hannah Elizabeth Olivia Stabler."

"El-"

"No." He shook his hand, "I won't let you fight me on this, you wanted kids with strong names, I can think of nothing or anyone stronger."

"Elliot." Olivia whispered, "Please, don't do that to her, I don't want her to be like me."

"Why?" Elliot asked softly cupping her face and leaning her forehead against his, "You're a beautiful, intelligent woman who is caring and strong and proud and humble all at the same time… why wouldn't you want that for Hannah?"

She swallowed and looked at the infant in her arms, "I just… I don't want her to be messed up like me."

"You're not messed up… and she has two beautiful parents to take care of her and three strong brothers to protect her… she'll be fine, I wan to name her that, and you made a deal with me."

"El-"

"Do you even know what your name means?"

Olivia thought about it, "No, I haven't looked it up… didn't want to."

"It means, eternally steadfast… come on Liv… give her a strong name."

Olivia smiled down at her sleep daughter, "So… Hannah Elizabeth Olivia… man that's a handful isn't it?" she grinned, "I bet you can't wait to meet Sam and Isaac."


	37. Chapter 37 Hidden Rage

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 37

Hidden Rage

A/N: Go ahead and slap an R rating on this one.

Elliot watched his children through the window of the hospital nursery room. Solomon seemed to be sound asleep while Hannah seemed more focus on sucking her thumb through her mitten. "You're so beautiful." Elliot whispered resting his hand on the glass.

"That's because she doesn't look anything like you." Mac chuckled from behind.

"Dada!" Isaac giggled reaching for Elliot.

"Mornin' Dad." Sam said rubbing his eyes and leaning into his waist.

"Hey boys… did you have fun with Mac?"

"Ice cream." Sam laughed, "A lot. I ate mine, but Isaac took his diaper off and smashed the cone in it… Mac told me so."

"He wants to be potty trained." Mac smiled, "How is Olivia?"

"She fell asleep feeding Hannah… I think she's spent… she could probably sleep a month."

"When you get her home… love her… spend alone time with her and make her feel beautiful." Mac said with a small smile.

"This coming from the bachelor?" Elliot asked with an innocent smirk.

Mac exhaled and ran his hand over Sam's Mohawk, "A bachelor," he said patting Isaac's back gently, "Who knows a thing or two… good luck, and you're right… your babies are beautiful." He said before turning to leave.

Elliot watched Mac leave and was curious about the sudden streak of grief he saw wash across his face when he ran his hand over Sam's hair, "Hey, my macho men." Elliot grinned, "Want to meet the babies?"

"Brother and sister?" Sam asked anxiously.

Elliot nodded to the nurse through the window that was signaling another feeding session, "You have to be patient." Elliot teased and laughed as Sam moaned in frustration. Elliot watched the nurses take Solomon and Hannah into their arms and prepare them to be taken to Olivia.

He walked into the hospital room to see Olivia rubbing her temple, a look of exhaustion and pain on her face, "Hey," Elliot whispered through a smile leading Sam into the room, "I got two manly guys here that are dying to see their mother."

She smiled weakly at him and then to her sons, "Hey boys." She whispered hoarsely and winced.

"Mama!" Isaac screeched worming out of his father's arms and plopping on the bed. He watched Olivia stifle a moan as Isaac buried himself near her and gave her a kiss.

"Easy Isaac," Sam scolded, "You got to be soft, Bro."

Olivia giggled, "He's okay… get up here with us, Honey." She said softly, "I want you to sit with me."

"No." Sam said softly, "Dad said you're super tired and I asked Mac about how babies come into the world… I thought you might die, the things he told me… they didn't sound so good, Mom."

She laughed again, loving that Sam was smiling in spite of his concern for her, "Get up here Son." She repeated and asked Elliot to help him up. He snuggled opposite Isaac and kissed her neck.

Olivia and Elliot both cringed when his hand ran across her I.V line and stopped momentarily before tucking his hand back to his body and kissing her neck again, "its just medicine?"

She smiled softly and kissed the crown of his head, "Just medicine." She said gently and smiled at Elliot, "I'd invite you in this bed, but I'm surrounded by good looking guys as it is."

He chuckled and sat on the corner of the bed, "The nurses are getting the babies ready for their feeding."

"Already?" Olivia smiled and glanced at the clock, "Wow," she said shocked at the time, "How long have I been out?"

"Two hours… you're exhausted, it's okay. How are you feeling right now?"

She moaned softly, "Like the back of my head has been shot off."

"That's gross, Mom." Sam chuckled.

"Doc said that can be from the epidural."

"Yeah," she exhaled, "I sat up for a few minutes and then… pain."

"I have news for you." Elliot grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Our insurance is a firm believer in drive through deliveries."

"Huh?" She furrowed her brow rubbing Isaac's back as he drooled and slept next to her.

"You're coming home tonight."

"Are you serious?" she exhaled, "I don't think I can even walk."

"You want to stay here?" Elliot teased, "I can arran-"

"No!" She grinned and kissed Sam's head, "No… I want to go home with my family."

"Excuse me." A nurse entered quietly with Hannah in her arms followed by Solomon in another nurse's embrace, "I've got two hungry babies here, and a bottle and I just need a mother."

"Right here." Olivia grinned holding out her arms, and smiling as the nurse gently placed Solomon in her arms and the other handed Hannah to Elliot with a small bottle.

"One may not be hungry… just 'cause they're twins doesn't mean they'll be on the same time table," The nurse explained, "may as well consider that fair warning, because you and your husband will never sleep again." She chuckled as she and her co-worker left the room.

"Mom," Sam sat up, excitedly as Isaac continued to sleep, "Mom… come on… show us?" What did you make? A boy and girl?" he asked, "Pleeeaaasseee! I've been waiting."

Olivia laughed as Elliot woke Isaac, softly rubbing his back. The toddler used the rail of the bed to help him kneel as he looked curiously at the bundle in his mother's arms. "What that?" Isaac furrowed his brows in curiosity and looked up at his father. His blue eyes grew wide seeing another bundle in Elliot's arms, "Uhh!" Isaac pointed at Elliot who simply smiled at him.

"Mom!" Sam groaned, "you're killin' me… do I have brothers or sisters or both? Please?"

"Hold your horses." She laughed taking his hand, "Alright," she smiled, "This is Solomon," she said softly and touched his hand to Solomon's cheek.

"He's so soft." Sam whispered as Isaac collided clumsily with Sam's shoulder to peer down at his new brother.

"Careful with your mom's tummy." Elliot cautioned, "She's got a bad owie."

Isaac raised his brow, "Owie Mama?"

"Yeah." She whispered, "Little one, but I'm okay."

"Mom?" Sam interrupted, "Mom, where's my sister?"

"How do you know you have a sister?" Elliot teased.

"I just do." Sam grinned, "Where is she?"

"Sit back, next to you're Mom." Elliot instructed helping him with his free hand as Olivia draped a blanket over her chest and let Solomon take hold of sustenance. "Put your arms out." Elliot instructed and gently placed Hannah in Sam's arms, her body resting on his lap, "Meet your sister, Hannah."

Sam smiled and lowered his lips to her forehead, "Hi, Sister." He whispered over her, "I'm your brother, Sam… I'm nine, so I'll protect you."

"Do you want to feed her?" Olivia asked with a grin. She'd anticipated a different reaction from Sam… a fear.

"No… she's too small." He said softly.

"Go ahead." Elliot encouraged placing the tiny bottle in his hand and leading it to her mouth, "Just like when you fed Isaac… she's hungry too." Elliot said softly and kissed Sam's forehead, "You're such a big man."

Sam grinned, "I know."

Olivia chuckled at Sam's excitement and felt a rush of cool air, "Hey!" she scolded Isaac playfully as he lifted the blanket that concealed her breast feeding, "There are laws against that, Buster."

Isaac ignored her and mimicked Sam when he lowered his lips to his brother and kissed him softly before standing his small body next to his mother's shoulder and resting his head against hers as sighed into her neck.

"I think he likes him." Olivia smiled reaching over her chest and touching Isaac's back.

A nurse knocked softly again, "Anything I can get you two?"

"No-"

"Yes… can you take a picture of my family?" Eliot grinned retrieving the camera.

"Absolutely." The nurse took it, "Point and shoot?"

"Yep." Elliot smiled making his way to his family. A picture taken of Sam holding Hannah as he leaned against his mother, Isaac's head on her shoulder as she fed Solomon, her neck turned to meet Elliot's lips in a smile. A picture Elliot waited his whole life to take. A picture Olivia always wanted to be in and finally was.

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Elliot woke quickly to Olivia's moans, "Liv?" He called into the darkness once he realized the bed was empty, "Liv?"

"El… help? Please?" She groaned.

He nearly catapulted himself out of the bed and into the restroom, "What? What is it?"

She pawed at a tear, "Pain… so much." She groaned sitting on the toilet.

It was bad if she was complaining…. Unbearable for the average person if she was crying. He kneeled in front of her, "What is it? Your stitches?" he asked and gently laid his fingertips on her belly.

She sobbed and buried her head into his neck holding him tightly at his shoulders. "Hey," he soothed softly, "Hey, look at me, look at me." He whispered pulling back to see her face, "Talk to me, what's hurting?"

"I can't get up… the… the cut, it hurts so bad."

"Liv… does this hurt worse than the surgery from Isaac? I know they cut you pretty b-"

She groaned again and shook her head, "Wrong cut."

He furrowed his brow, "Wrong cu-oh!" his eyes widened then softened with compassion, "Oh, honey… I'm so sorry."

"I can't get up… it's excruciating to just pee."

For the first time he noticed that her leg was bouncing uncontrollably, her body's signal that she had to pee desperately, "Go ahead." He whispered knowing this must be more humiliating for her than the labor or enema or anything else.

She shook her head frantically, "No… It burns so bad."

He framed her face and kissed her mouth gently, "Liv… listen to me," he said gaining her gaze, "Honey… you're gonna have to, I'm sorry. I know it has to burn but… you can't hold it."

"Yes I can."

Typical Olivia Benson.

Stubborn

"You're sounding like Sam." He whispered with a small smile and wrapped his arms around her waist, "Just go."

"El," She groaned into his neck, "I can't do this."

"You've been peeing all your life." He teased and kissed her shoulder, "its okay, Liv, your leg is shaking… in a few minutes you're not gonna have a choice in the matter."

"El, I ca-"

He rubbed harder into her back, "Just go honey, it's perfectly fine."

He knew she was humiliated and he wanted to sooth her but when her body winced and he felt her fingers dig into his neck and back, she cried in pain into his neck a long shriek she tried to muffle with his skin.

"It's okay." He whispered rubbing her back, "It'll pass." He assured her, "Hannah has your lips, Solomon has your ears." He whispered trying to take her mind off of the pain. After an eternity he felt her grip give way and her body relax against him.

"El?" she sniffled.

"Yeah?" he asked still holding her unconcerned at the oddity of the situation. Normally she'd always tried to kick him out while she used the restroom; he knew she was in pain to be letting him hold her in this moment.

"Shoot me." She groaned and chuckled softly, "Please, just shoot me."

He laughed and pulled back to look at her, bothered when she couldn't make eye contact. He tipped her chin up and kissed her cheek softly, "I read the pamphlet thing that the nurse gave us… a spray bottle with warm water? Do you want that?"

"Please." She nodded softly.

He turned the faucet to luke warm and let it run as he retrieved a sac from the bedroom, "Casey picked up a bunch of stuff she said you'll need… she um… explained it to me a little bit."

Olivia cleared her throat in embarrassment as he withdrew a pack of sanitary napkins, "It's okay, Liv… you don't have to be embarrassed about it, I'm not."

"You can pee." She muttered. He smirked and filled the spray bottle, adding an eye dropper full of medicine.

"What's that?" she asked as he twisted the bottle tight.

"Casey said it would take the edge off the pain, she said she used it and it helped her."

Olivia nodded softly taking the bottle, "El? Can you… um… c-"

"Yep." He smiled and turned to leave as she delicately cleaned herself up.

He returned moments later with a fresh pair of underwear, noticing she'd spotted. He wouldn't dare point it out to her, but instead placed the panties on the counter and withdrew a sanitary napkin for her before putting the pack away, "I'll put them under the sink for yo- no, I'll put them here, so you don't have to bend and stretch." He said leaving them on the counter. He made himself busy as she re-clothed herself, still unwilling to stand up.

"El?"

"Yeah?" he turned to her and smiled softly, "Here, I'll help." He whispered not wanting her to have to ask for more help. He helped her stand after she pulled her panties to her thighs; she pulled them up on her own after standing.

"I just," she was winded and exhausted, "uh… I just want to wash my hands and I'll be back in bed."

"Okay." He kissed the back of her head softy and walked out not wanting to smother her. It took several minutes but she eventually slipped into bed next to him.

"El?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I can't… scoot to you, but I w-"

He shifted over to her side not wanting her to have to move excessively. Gently, he wrapped his arm around her and laced his fingers with hers, a kiss to her shoulder as he spooned with her and offered her his warmth.

"Thank you."

He kissed her shoulder again, "Sleep, Liv… I'll do the next feeding, okay?"

"Mmm hmm." She muttered and allowed sleep to take her.

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Elliot found himself feeding both Hannah and Solomon at the same time. _Not on the same schedule my butt_. He scoffed propping them both into the dips of the couch cushions as they fussed and cried out. He didn't want to have to wake up Olivia. The sun was already rising and he new that would eventually do it. He wanted to let her have the next few minutes to just sleep, regain strength and breath a little, but two fussy kids was hard for only one person to handle.

"Dad?" Sam groaned hearing Elliot try to sooth the babies, "Dad, it's so early."

"I know… climb back in bed, Son."

"Why are they crying?"

"They're babies… it's in their contract." Elliot laughed the offered the real reason, "They're hungry." Elliot explained, "and there's only one of me."

"I can do it." Sam said and felt around the couch as he sat down, "I think I can help, if you maybe put Solomon in my arms."

Elliot grinned and happily agreed smiling softly as Solomon happily took to the bottle. Elliot picked up his daughter and fed her as he sat down next to Sam. "Isn't Mom here?" Sam asked.

"She's resting… and you and I, were men… we can do this, right?"

"Right." Sam smiled, "We can do this."

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"El?" Olivia called for him hoarsely as she walked slowly and deliberately down the hallway purposely staying close to the wall for added support. Every step hurt, whoever said having a baby vaginally was incredible was off their nut.

When there was no answer, she made her way into the nursery to see him holding Solomon tight in his arms humming softly as he stood by the window, "El?" she cleared her throat, "I'm sorry… I didn't hear him cry."

Elliot turned slowly and smiled at her, "It's okay… me and Solo were just spending some quality time together… he wasn't crying, I just wanted to hold him." He assured her and motioned for her to sit in the rocker.

"Uggh, no way. That seat will kill me… too hard." she smiled and nervously folded her arms over her chest, "El… um… I kind of have to feed one of them; my body is sort of… not giving me a choice."

He smiled softly in understanding noticing the wetness over her shirt, "Okay… I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I just wanted you to rest."

She grinned walking slowly to him, "I needed it and I thank you so much, I'm not upset, I just… want to hold one of them and feed them." She said with a smile, "Can I hold him, please?"

"Absolutely." He grinned, "But, why don't you lay back in bed and I'll bring them to you, with that bloppy pillow thingamabob."

She furrowed her brow, "Huh?"

"Mac brought this pillow thing by for you this morning, like this giant horseshoe to help you breast feed."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "This morning? What time is it?"

"Eleven thirty."

"Five hours! They must be starving."

"No." He grinned, "Sam and I fed them, but yeah… they are gonna be hungry real soon, I'll bring them to you… go." He said shoeing her away gently and kissing her cheek.

She lay in bed; her breast sore, her abdomen sore and well, she didn't want to think about what else was killing her but, no matter how much her body ached, when Elliot walked in with their babies in his arms nothing else mattered.

Very carefully he lowered himself to the bed and she gladly took Hannah from his arms and grinned, "She's so amazing."

"Yes, she is… she just like you Liv."

Olivia smiled, "Thank you."

He kissed her cheek and laid Solomon on the bed, "I'm gonna get the pillow."

She grinned, "Hurry, I'm leakin' all over the place."

He laughed, and walked away throwing one last remark over his shoulder, "I don't think our home owner's insurance covers that type of flooding."

"Shut up!"

He came back with a large u-shape pillow, "I have no idea what this actually is but he said you put the baby on it while he eats… or something along those lines." He chuckled and helped her sit up a bit straighter, "Tired?"

"Exhausted." She smiled adjusting her breast to Hannah's lips and allowing the pillow to do its job.

Elliot picked up Solomon and sat as close to his wife as possible so that both of them could see their children, "I think Solo here is gonna look like Isaac."

"Solo?" She arched her brow.

"Well," He shrugged, "There's no way Isaac will ever be able to say Solomon, and I think it's pretty cool."

"Solo." She repeated, "I don't know, El… sounds gangster."

"Fin would be proud." Elliot smiled, "It's not gangster, it's cute… err… manly."

She chuckled stroking Hannah's cheek, "Right… manly… where's Sam and Isaac?"

"Sam is out like a light, he was up with me helping with Hannah and Solo, and-"

"You're really gonna call him that aren't you?"

"Maybe… unless I think of something else." He smiled down at his son, "Liv?"

"Yeah?" She whispered as Hannah gave way to sleep.

"We missed Thanksgiving."

She traded a sleeping Hannah for a fussing Solomon, "Na… yesterday was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had." She grinned exposing her last swollen breast and allowing her son to take hold, "Nothing else I would have rather done."

"This years been so crazy." He whispered to no one in particular.

_Year. It's been a year. He's made it a year._

She grinned, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"Come here."

"What?" he furrowed his brow.

She grinned and nodded for him, "Don't smash the babies, but… come here."

He leaned over to kiss her cheek, she cupped his face and brought his lips to hers, tracing the seam of his lips with her tongue until he finally buckled and allowed her entry. He moaned as she caressed and stroked his tongue with hers, gliding over his teeth, sipping and nipping at his bottom lip before letting go and tenderly kissing the nipped skin.

"Wow." He whispered and swallowed trying to catch his breath, "What was th-"

She cut him off again and kissed him just as seductively and passionately as she had ever before separating and nuzzling his nose, "You've been sober one year today." She whispered, "Thank you… I know it wasn't easy."

He smiled, cupped her face and kissed her, careful of the two babies between them. He almost wished the babies hadn't been born yet, just so he could make love to her right then and there, he tugged playfully on her lip and released her, "It wasn't easy," he whispered, "But, I can't tell you how great it's been to be here with you… to be pregnant with you and to watch you grow and bring our babies into the world… to see how much you love Sam and Isaac… Liv," he whispered her name and kissed her lips again, "It makes me want you more and more every second."

She grinned and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I think burping duty is calling."

He chuckled and positioned his daughter on his shoulder, "Yeah."

Spit up was cleaned after several minutes of delicate patting by both mother and father, and eventually Solomon and Hannah snuggled back into their parents' arms and slept, preparing themselves for their next feeding.

"El?"

"Liv."

"Can we… can we get the K-9? I mean… I know Cragen said two months, but it's been so much longer than that… maybe we can get one from another force?"

Elliot furrowed his brows. She was scared.

"Do you want a K-9 or do you want a regular dog?"

"A K-9." She whispered tracing Hannah's cheek, "Something trained to attack but that will be gentle with the kids and won't eat Tripod." She smiled sadly, "I think… I think we need to start really enforcing the alarm too, we have it but… we don't use it like we should, and it's probably a good idea to start teaching Sam how to use the OnStar and maybe take a cab or th-"

He cupped her face, "Olivia?"

She swallowed and met his stare, a single tear making its way down her cheek, "I… can't loose them, El."

He tucked her hair behind her ear, "Honey… Ganzner is dead, we're on the upswing… nothing can touch us now."

She furrowed her brow trying to hold back the tears, "I know." She breathed, "I just… I want the dog and I want us to start taking advantage of the alarm."

He touched her face softly, "You're scared of him."

She swallowed and exhaled softly before lowering her lips to her son and kissing him gently, "He ruined our life."

"No… he temporarily made a mess out of it, yes. But, he didn't ruin us." He whispered kissing her forehead, "he didn't ruin you."

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"Is that Solomon or Hannah?" Olivia groaned in the middle of the night. The twins had been home for one week and she was certain she didn't have ten hours of sleep to show for it.

"I think Solomon." Elliot whispered kissing her shoulder, "I'll feed him."

She grabbed his elbow before he could leave the bed, "Actually… can you bring him? I'm… uh… a little uncomfortable, still too much milk and I fed Solomon by the bottle last time."

"Okay." Elliot grinned and kissed her cheek, "You know… this might sound weird… but I think you look really hot when you're breastfeeding."

She chuckled, "I think you just like that my boobs are engorged and huge."

He rolled his eyes playfully, "No Liv… I happen to like you're breast just fine the way they were, although… you look really sexy right now too."

"Hey, El."

"Yeah?" He responded looking at her from the doorway.

She looked as if she wanted to say something, she'd been so down the past several days and he could see it in her face, "Nothing." She smiled softly, "Better get him before he wakes Hannah."

Minutes later he returned, "I was wrong." He smiled entering the bedroom with a fussy Hannah in his arms, "The crier seems to be our daughter… she's gonna have that deep throaty voice like you, Liv."

"Deep?" Olivia smiled, "You comparing me to a man?"

"Na." He said laying Hannah in her mother's arms and helping Olivia sit up in bed. Her face screwing up in pain from the effort, "Still bad?"

"Yeah," she exhaled. Her emotions had been everywhere over the course of the week, from an irrational fear of a dead Ganzner coming for the kids, to waking Elliot up to check on Sam, to crying for no particular reason, to quietness and then back to laughter. She must have been exhausted because he was tired just trying to keep up with her. He loved her and a little emotional instability or post partum depression, something she refused to let him talk to her about, wouldn't bother him.

He made his way about the room, letting Olivia tend to Hannah, but when he didn't hear the happy sounds of his daughter feeding, when he heard the sniffle of his wife he perched himself next to her on the bed, "Hey." He whispered softly and wiped a tear away, "What is it? Blue?" Blue, that was what she would allow from him, he could ask her if she was 'blue' but she didn't want to confess to being mildly depressed when she felt she was supposed to be so happy holding her new babies.

"She… she won't latch onto me." Olivia whispered.

"Did you try the 'V' thing?" Elliot asked gently.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and nodded, "Yeah… she's got to be hungry, but she won't suck."

"Remember when we had Isaac… the nurse told you that happens sometimes."

She shook her head in frustration, "I think Hannah isn't going to like me. What if she can sense it? What if somehow… she knows I'm weak like my moth-"

He cut her off cupping her face and staring inches from her face, "You're not weak. I don't know why you would think that… and our daughter doesn't hate you, she just might not like the position your in."

"Either do I." Olivia winced and groaned 'causing Hannah to begin crying again, "Please take her, El."

"No." he said softly, "No… you're her mother, if you want me take her while you get comfortable that's one thing but I'm not letting you get off the hook with her…her having your name doesn't make her not like you and it doesn't mean she's destined to be weak… she's our daughter, she has no choice but to be strong, Liv."

Olivia let out a sob of frustration and brought her knees up, brought Hannah closer to her body and touched her head to hers, "I'm scared of her."

"She's just a tiny baby, Liv."

"She'll grow up to hate me."

"She loves you right now… she'll love you ten years from now and forever after that. Don't do this to yourself Liv, don't go there with her, she's innocent, she knows nothing of how you were conceived or what happened to you or with you and your mother… she's innocent." He reiterated softly.

Elliot took Hannah from Olivia's arms and rested her gently on the bed, "Come here."

"I can't move," Olivia groaned, "It hurts so much."

"I know it does, I read something on the internet that might help you feed her, come here." He said helping her up in her bed. He didn't understand why the hospital didn't keep her longer, he didn't understand why insurance companies are perfectly content sending someone home in pain and discomfort. All for a buck, "Can you try to lie on your side? Put your arm up here on the pillows and I'll put this pillow between your knees."

She moved slowly and positioned her self as he'd asked, "You should take your shirt off… it said sometimes babies like the skin to skin contact."

"Isaac never had this problem." She whispered.

"Well… Hannah's a girl… you know how indecisive you girls are." He chuckled softly, "The house is warm, its okay Liv."

"I don't… I don't want you… to see my body, it's so messed up." She muttered.

He smiled softly and pulled the comforter up, "You can cover yourself."

She wormed her way out of her shirt and quickly pulled the comforter up to the base of her breast. Elliot laid Hannah next to her and smiled, "Just keep your body straight, I think she'll do the rest." He informed her tucking excess material under the infant's side to prop her up to Olivia's breast. "I think Isaac just ate in any position, but the website said some babies can be fussy about it."

Hannah rooted frantically, indeed she was hungry. He slipped in behind Olivia and peered over her shoulder, "El… she's still not latching on… what am I doing wrong?" she groaned and Hannah responded with a fussy cry making Olivia cringe, "Why won't she eat?"

"Liv… calm down." He said softly, "You've done all of this before, your just letting worry and fear get to you… feed her, she's hungry."

"El-"

Elliot gently took Olivia's hand and guided it to her breast encouraging her to support her breast as Hannah's screams for food continued to grow in pitch and duration he used his large hand to bring Hannah closer. She latched on immediately.

Olivia smiled, "Hey," she sniffled and chuckled, "so, what you're telling me is that you want to just lay back and be fed, huh?"

"See, Liv." Elliot whispered, "you've got this."

She exhaled tracing the curve of Hannah's cheek, "I'm sorry I turned into an emotional wreck on you, El."

He chuckled into her shoulder softly, "Wreck? Na… maybe a little fender binder." He teased, "its okay, Liv… you just had major surgery a week ago, we've got two little one's in the house that aren't exactly being nice on your sleep schedule, you know the doctor's said that the post partum dep-"

"Please don't."

"Liv," he smiled softly and rubbed her bicep, "it's okay to admit it."

"No." she whispered through a small smile as she watched Hannah suckle from her breast, "I was happy when I got home… I must… just be tired."

He reached to her face and cupped her cheek turning her to look at him. Elliot kissed her lips affectionately and nuzzled her nose, "Liv… you're depressed."

"El-"

He muffled her protest with a soft kiss, "and it's normal after birth… you and I… we're on the upswing, you're gonna be fine and you're gonna be happy, you are happy… just a little blue. This birth wasn't like Isaac's... you got to remember that, Baby."

She closed her eyes and smiled softly, "Thank you."

"Not a problem, Liv… and I think you're body is amazing." He whispered, "Just in case you thought I missed that remark." He knew she didn't want his hands on her belly. He'd thought it was because of the incision but he's realized that she's insecure about her body, something she hadn't experienced after Isaac's birth. "Let me touch you?"

"You are touching me." She whispered rubbing Hannah's back with her top arm as she continued to support her breast while their little one fed.

"I… want to touch your… stomach." he told her gently, "You keep pushing my hand away… I want to touch you."

She furrowed her brow and kissed Hannah's temple softly trying to stall for time, "El… I'm, I don't feel attractive."

Gently and as slowly as possible he pulled the comforter back, "I think you're very beautiful, Olivia" he whispered. He could feel her body tense as soon as he exposed her, "Please, let me touch you?" When there was no answer and she simply kissed their daughter he pulled the comforter back over her body and continued to spoon next to her and peer over her shoulder. He loved her and wouldn't push her. "She's still eating? Must have been a hungry baby." He laughed softly rubbing her bicep.

"I think she was. A little trouble latching on, but… now she's making up for lost time." She smiled softly.

"Sometimes I wish I was a woman." Elliot blurted and from the shocked smile on Olivia's face he wished he hadn't.

"Oh." She grinned craning her neck to look at him, "You had better explain that one."

He blushed, "Not like that Liv… your underwear and panties are safe." He assured her, "I'm just saying… it's not fair that you get to bond with them like this, that you get to breast feed them and hold them so close."

"So… you want to breast feed?" she teased, "Believe me El… it's not heaven… your nipples bleed, your boobs are sore and until these little guys get on a better schedule all you do is leak all over yourself." She laughed. Felt good to laugh.

He nuzzled her nose and smiled, "Yeah, but that's nothing when she looks up at you, or when Solomon hums against you… is it?"

She turned back to Hannah who was still happily sucking away. Olivia smiled softly, "It's nothing compared to having her this close to me."

"See." He chuckled, "I told you it's not fair."

_Please, let me touch you?_

Olivia moved her breast supporting hand and let her body slowly go limp, ensuring Hannah didn't break suction. She reached back, "Give me your hand."

"Huh?"

"Give me your hand." She said again, softer as Hannah's eyes started to droop.

She covered his hand with hers and guided him to her breast, "Please, be soft, I'm really sore." She whispered and placed his hand over her breast letting him support her body while she lay on her side and Hannah gained strength.

He grinned over Olivia's shoulder, "Wow… she's really going at it."

Olivia nodded in agreement, "El?"

"Yeah? Do you want me to let you go?"

"No." she shook her head, "I just… would you think I was weird if I told you I like your hand on me? Right now."

He beamed. Not only was she letting him touch her, she was appreciating the touch, "I don't think you're weird… I think you're fantastic."

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Slowly, Olivia had pulled herself up by her boot straps and as Hannah and Solomon fell into a slightly more consistent schedule of eating and sleeping, she seemed to regain her energy more and more. Slowly, she'd managed to be able to do simple household tasks; she'd managed to spend more time out of bed than in bed. She smiled.

No longer did she need the assistance of her husband to help her from the toilet, help her into the rocking chair or help her get up from the kitchen table. She was relieved when her episiotomy stitches had finally dissolved and the doctor informed her she healed well. She was ecstatic when she got to have the blessed opportunity of a warm bath in the first week of December. Elliot had helped her feed Hannah and Solomon so she wouldn't be disturbed and although she loved the solitude of being in the bathtub, she enjoyed the sounds of Elliot playing and teaching Sam and Isaac the in's and out's of being 'big brothers'. She laughed to herself when she over heard Sam's apparent dislike of changing diapers and Isaac's curious "Uhh!" being screeched through the house.

Today, Olivia was all smiles finally feeling as if she were herself again. Her body seemed to be shedding her pregnancy weight slower than she had in her previous pregnancy, but she was happy, she'd worry about working out later.

"Hey," Olivia smiled whispering in Isaac's ear, "its wake time, Mister… Sam's gonna be home."

"Sam! Sam!" Isaac laughed rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "Nanah?" he asked tapping Olivia's chest and frowning, "Hannah is sleeping… don't you dare wake her up." Olivia laughed kissing his forehead, "What should we cook for Daddy, huh?"

"Fooooood." He grinned elongating the word.

Olivia chuckled helping him off of his bed only to furrow her brow at the wet spot, "Uh oh… someone went potty." She exhaled with a smile, "If you'd keep your pamper on… that wouldn't happen little man."

He crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, "No!" He said resolutely.

She kneeled in front of him, "Don't tell me that." She warned softly.

He eyed her defiantly; "No!" he told her again pushing her face away with his hands.

"Isaac." She said his name firmly and framed his face to look at her, "I love you son… but you're cruisin' Monkey."

He growled at her and furrowed his brows deeper as his nostrils flared. He was his father's son, "No!"

"Okie dokie." Olivia said simply and led him to Sam's bed. "Sit."

"No!"

"Sit." She said sternly careful to place a kiss on his cheek.

"No! Mama!"

"Don't tell me no." she told him again, "Sit." She told him framing his face again and making eye contact with him, "Don't move, just sit."

"Mama!" he began to cry as she began to strip his bed void of anger, but there would be no room for a disrespectful child. None. He slipped off the bed and she quickly put him back onto the bed framing his face and giving a firm command to stay where he was.

She cleaned up the plastic safety sheet and sprayed a disinfectant before changing his sheets. He cried and shrieked the entire time and when he tried to slip off the bed again. She turned to him sharply and raised her brows encouraging him to rethink. She was amazed when he locked eyes with her, gave a small smile and touched his feet to the hardwood floor.

She would do this all day if she had too. Obedience was a must no matter what situation he'd come from. She picked him up and planted him firmly in the middle of the bed and restated her command. He shrieked and threw himself back crying and rolling his naked body over the comforter. His first bonafide tantrum. Olivia grinned thankful she could even witness it.

She made the last preparation on the bed and gathered the sheets telling her son to stay as she deposited them in the washer. She returned to the room hoping he stayed on the bed. She opened the door and her heart ached for the little boy curled on Sam's bed and shuddering for breath as he sobbed.

She sat next to him and rubbed his back. Never having to enforce herself she wanted to make sure he knew she still loved him. "Come here." She whispered and pulled him up into her lap, bracing for a pain that might streak through her but soon calming when none registered, "You're a good, Boy, Isaac." She said kissing his forehead and hugging him tightly, "I love you, Little Man."

He sniffled as she released him and stood. She extended her hand for him to take it and grinned when he did. Trust was still there and that's all she was concerned with. "So… you want to cruise the house naked? Or do you want to try… big boy pants?"

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"Dada!" Isaac squealed running down the hallway as soon as he heard the door open and Elliot and Sam walk in.

"Hey!" Elliot grinned and picked him up, "How are you… and why don't you have a pamper on?"

"He's doing the potty training thing." Olivia informed him, kissing Elliot gently on the cheek, "How was the movie?"

"Funny!" Sam grinned, "Nachoooooooooo Liiiiiiiibreeee!" he mimicked.

Olivia raised her brows, "You saw Nacho Libre?"

"Yeah, he sounded funny." Sam grinned.

"I had to explain some stuff but, he liked it." Elliot assured her and looked at her in curiosity. She was exercising this sexy demeanor and the funny thing was, he knew that she was very much aware of it. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he'd say she was seducing him with that coy smile, gentle stare and of course the squeeze of his butt when he took Isaac into the living room.

"Hey, Sam?" Olivia caught his attention quickly, "We need to talk, Son."

"Am I in trouble?" he asked nervously. Elliot looked at her in confusion but sat to listen.

"I suppose that depends on your answer." She told him softly as she claimed her seat next to Elliot, "Your teacher called me today."

Sam groaned and flopped his head back into the chair, "I'm in trouble."

"Not if you answer my questions honestly." She told him as Elliot kissed Isaac's head softly and stroked his back. Waiting for this bomb to drop.

Sam raised his brow and exhaled, "Kay."

"Miss. Dansen asked me why I haven't signed your report card and given it to you to take back to school."

Elliot arched his brow and looked at Sam, "When did you get your report card?"

Sam pressed his lips together, "Um… maybe… uh before Solomon and Hannah came home."

Elliot and Olivia grinned at one another and rolled their eyes before finding a 'parental' voice and taking to him, "So, almost three weeks?" Elliot asked for clarification.

"Um… maybe."

"There are no maybe's." Olivia told him gently, "We've talked about this Sam, you're getting older and you need to realize that your dad and I love you, but we're gonna start being a little tougher on you… that's how you become a big strong man." She told him, "It's yes or no."

He bowed his head and before she could tell him not to, he corrected himself and raised it, almost fearless, "Yes, I got it a long time ago."

"Why didn't you give it to us?" Olivia asked softly, careful to keep her tone in check. He wasn't a perp, he was her son.

"Um… mayb- well, see, it's not… um… I got a good reason." He assured them when he couldn't verbalize it.

"Uh huh… want to tell us?" Elliot prodded.

"Well… my other one… it wasn't so good 'cause I'm not real good. And if I'm not real good, this one has to be… not so good too, right?"

"You didn't look at it?" Elliot asked then shook his head once he realized what he asked, "I mean… you don't know what it says?"

Sam kicked his feet on the chair, "Uh… it wasn't in Braille and Crystal… she always gets 'A's . I didn't want her to see it to read it to me.

"You've been working really hard for months Sam… and you're last report card wasn't bad."

"It was all C's and that D… that's not too good." He exhaled, "I'm not too smart at school, Mom."

"Sam," Elliot exhaled, "You… were a little behind the other students… you've missed a lot of school when you were with Grandpa Wilson… you're just having to catch up and you're mother and I both agree that as long as your getting better we don't expect straight 'A's. We'll let you work at your own pace."

"Where's the report card, Son?" Olivia asked softly.

"I don't know."

"If you lie to me… then that means you don't trust me to keep my promise to you… where is the report card Sam?" she asked again.

He thought about it for a second and exhaled, "Maybe, it's in my back pack?"

"Maybe?" Elliot asked gently.

"Okay… it's in my back pack." He conceded.

"Go get it." Olivia told him, "Quick honey, you and Isaac are helping me cook tonight." She said brightly.

Elliot smiled as Sam left the room, "You seem very happy today." He informed her laying a currently sleeping Isaac on the couch. As soon as he turned back to her and took him into a hungry kiss moaning against his lips and chuckling as Sam interrupted.

"Ah man! Gross!" he groaned.

They laughed and kissed one another softly again before turning to him, "Hand it over, Sam." She laughed, "Before I kiss you too."

He giggled and handed her a waded up report card that had obviously been stored in the darkest recesses of his back pack, "What do you think you got?" she asked straightening the paper out on her thigh.

"Maybe… just like the other ones, but maybe a little worse 'cause I don't really like Science it's so hard, Mom."

She opened the report and her breath hitched. Elliot peered down and grinned, "Sam… it's not like the other ones." He said softly.

"It's worse?" he groaned slapping his forehead, "Crystal says kids who get bad grades have to go through the same grade again… I don't want too!"

"Sam," Olivia grinned and brought him close, "Honey… you got all 'B's and two 'A's… that's a very good report card."

In pure delight Sam had grabbed the report from her hand and wedged himself between them on the couch, with a grin he screeched, "Read it!" he said holding it out in front of Elliot, "Read it!" he said again handing it to his Mother.

"You got 'A's in Math and English."

"Oh," Elliot tickled him, "Genius! You're teacher wrote you a note too!"

"What's it say? Come on-read!" he told Olivia.

"Rephrase."

He groaned in anticipation, "Mom, will you please read me what she said?"

She grinned, kissed his forehead, "It has been a pleasure to have Sam in my class. He brings a smile to my face and tries to be very helpful to his peers. He seems particularly fascinated by words and literature and while he struggles with his Science, he manages to do well."

Sam laughed and grabbed the report card again, setting back on the couch with his parents, "I'm smart."

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"I'm going home in a few months. Prison was never for me." The older gentleman smiled.

"Yet you're here." His cellmate retorted, "Put away by a woman no less."

He snarled at his cellmate and grabbed him by his jumpsuit throwing him up against the wall, unconcerned at the thud his cellmates head made against the wall, "If you're not careful, I'll take you just like I'll take her once I get out of here. Maybe I'll get you while your sleeping, maybe while your in the shower, maybe I'll kill you… but I will get you and I will have her."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam groaned hearing the babies crying again for what must have been the third time that night. Only, this time the crying didn't stop. "Come on Tri." He groaned, "Dad's at work and I think maybe mom doesn't hear them." Tripod forced his eyes open and groaned but followed Sam down the hall just the same.

"What's with the noise?" Sam asked as soon as he stepped into the nursery, "Oh," he groaned, "Only one is crying and it's that loud." He made his way to Solomon's crib, "Hey little Bro, you've got to go to sleep, I have a really hard test tomorrow." He tried to explain.

Frankly, Solomon could care less. "He was wet and he was hungry."

Sam groaned and rested his hand on the railing, "Please be quiet." When there was no changed in Solomon's crying Sam exhaled, he wasn't suppose to take the babies out of the crib without his mom or dad with him. But he needed sleep. His mom needed sleep. Solomon was gonna wake up Hannah, maybe even the dead.

Sam took in a deep breath and lowered the railing the way Elliot had showed him. He reached down and felt for Solomon and gently slipped one hand under his head the way Casey showed him with Addison and one under his bottom for support like his mom had told him, "Shh." He cooed to his brother bringing him to his body, "Come on man, you got to be quiet." Sam smacked his lips and started to gently bounce, but when Solomon wouldn't stop crying and was too heavy he quickly made his way to the living room and rested him on the couch.

He felt throughout the refrigerator for the little bottles like his father had instructed him and made quick work of putting it in the microwave. He kept an ear out for Tripod who simply kept a suspicious eye on the noisy bundle on the couch. Sam tested the milk on the same spot his dad showed him and when he was convinced it was okay he chuckled as Tripod happily licked it off. "Mom would flip if she saw that." He giggled and climbed onto the couch, gently moving Solomon here and there until he was sitting like his mother had showed him. "Eat." He said almost gruffly. Solomon cried harder, "Oh, come on…be a big boy, this isn't how big boys go." He groaned, "Are you wet?" he said suddenly very much worried, "'cause if you are, it's your own fault and I can't help you."

Solomon seemed to quiet minimally at the sound of Sam's voice but still continued to fuss and squirm. Sam laid him back on the couch, "I'm calling Dad if you don't stop." He warned, "Mom's sleeping but dad will answer the phone and I'll tell him you're not being good."

Solomon continued to fuss. Distressed, Sam stood up and trotted down the hall, the door to his mother's room was closed. She'd fallen asleep at the dinner table again and even Sam was old enough to pick up on the fact that while she loved being with the kids, she was tired, overwhelmed with the responsibility of four kids, two new. He groaned, fighting with himself, telling himself to wake her up, but finding himself searching with hands for a pamper and the wipies like his dad had showed him.

"Ok." Sam said as if he were striking a deal with the infant, "If you peed, I might be able to this by myself, but if you did a dookie, I'm getting mom and she's really tired, so… did you pee or dookie?"

When there was no response, not that he was actually expecting one, he felt for Solomon, felt him moving, "So gross." He mumbled as he lowered his nose to his pamper. Discomfort and fear griping him, "I think it's just pee." He told himself and felt for the zipper of the pajamas and made quick and careful work of the pajamas, "This… is like this," he said putting a fresh pamper under his body before he took the old one off. He wasn't sure why you had to do this but he knew his mother had told him it was very important.

Sam paused. He was going to have to unfasten the pamper, which meant Solomon would be naked and his hands would have to be on him to wipe him with the wipie. His nerves were getting to him, his stomach was hurting and he really wanted to wake his mother up. "Maybe I'll wake her up." He muttered. Tripod jumped onto the couch and nestled next to Sam peering at Solomon who was squirming and whimpering in the coolness of the night, "Think I should do it Tripod?" he asked, "Yeah… I was thinking so too… mom needs sleep, Dad says that might have been what made her sad when she came home… not enough sleep, I don't like her sad."

When Solomon let out another grumble Sam caved, "Alright, geeze. Please, be quiet. Look… I'm only doing this 'cause mom's asleep. I don't want to have you without your pamper on around me, Isaac does that and it makes my tummy hurt, so… I'm not doing this for you, I'm just gonna do it real quick to make you quiet so mom can sleep and I can do good tomorrow… it's spelling you know, it's not easy." He scolded Solomon and chewed his lip before grabbing a wipie and reading himself. Quickly, he unfastened the pamper, pulled it from under the babies body and tossed it, unconcerned with where it landed. "One… two… three," he took a deep breath and wiped quickly, tossing the wipie aside and quickly pulling the pamper over Solomon's hips like he'd been shown.

He exhaled and smiled, "Okay… okay." He assured himself, "I'm a good boy… I don't hurt my friends or my brothers or sisters and Mom and Dad love me." He muttered and brought himself to feel for the fasteners. "No!" he hissed, realizing the pamper was on backwards. He made up his mind, that pamper wasn't coming back off. He made do and simply fastened the pamper behind Solomon's waist rather than in front. "There… now please be quiet." He said softly and brought him back into his lap feeling for the bottle, "Here, eat, sleep, and just… stop talking." He groaned and then laughed once Solomon started sucking, "You make Mom's voice sound bright." He whispered and if he could see himself he would see his small hand gently rubbing his brother's back as he held him.

If Sam could peer down at Solomon, he'd see the comfortable gaze in his young eyes, he'd notice the slight arch of thin brows at the sound of his voice, but Sam could feel, and right now he felt his baby brother's tiny fingers clasp around his thumb, felt him nuzzle close to his body and eat comfortably in his arms.

"Yeah." Sam whispered, "I'm your big brother so I can feed you and stuff." He said softly and kissed his forehead, "Cause I like you too."

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Olivia stirred in her sleep, she thought maybe she heard one of the babies crying, but when there was no more noise, she floated between wakefulness and sleep until finally, twenty minutes later she grew troubled with the quietness. She turned on her side and stared at the alarm clock, she was always restless when Elliot was sleeping next to her, but she understood the job.

Suddenly it dawned on her that there was no angry red light that usually was lit up just next to the alarm clock that indicated the baby monitor was on. She reached out and felt for the dial in the dark. Elliot had closed the door while he was moving around for work, in order not to wake her… the batteries on the monitor had died.

Quickly, she slipped out of bed and into the nursery, peering over the crib to see Hannah sleeping peacefully in a pale pink pajama that Olivia secretly loved putting on her. She grinned and ran her finger along the infant's face, "You're so amazing." She whispered and turned to check on Solomon. Her heart almost stopped, he wasn't in the crib. She couldn't remember if it was actually him she heard crying, the point was, he wasn't where she left him. In a moment, she panicked.

She felt slight pain from the episiotomy but pushed it aside as she ran the length of the hall and slid to a stop in the living room. At first, she saw nothing until she saw Tripod stretched out on one side of the couch and Sam asleep with Solomon in his arms, the nipple of the bottle slightly wet with milk. Solomon comfortably sleeping in his brothers embrace.

Olivia grinned and did the normal routine of hunting down the camera and taking a photo, Elliot would love to see this. She smiled at Sam whose head dropped to one side, his arms protectively wrapped around Solomon's little body, the couch pillows used as a shelter. It was when she saw the discarded diaper and wipees that she realized what must have happened.

She put two and two together. Noticed the small splotch of blood on his lip and new he must have worried himself to no end to get through a diaper change, to actually have to touch Solomon… it must have tortured him. She was stuck between telling him how proud she was, and knowing that he was probably gonna have a hard time come tomorrow.

Delicately, she pried Solomon out of protective arms, snapping her fingers at Tripod who growled and then instantly bowed to her sign. She padded Solomon's back gently as she walked him back to the nursery. When she was convinced he'd burped she laid him on his back and ran her fingers through his hair before adjusting the rail and returning to the living room where she promptly disposed of the pamper and wippies and kissed Sam's forehead, "Honey, wake up…I can't carry you."

He forced his eyes open, jumped when he realized Solomon was gone, "Solo? Where i-"

"Shh, it's okay… I put him to bed." She assured him stroking his Mohawk, "I want to tell you that I'm very proud you changed his diaper, by your self… was that hard?"

"Can I sleep with you, Mom?" he asked ignoring her question.

She furrowed her brow not exactly sure what to make of his reluctance, "Sure you want to do that? Hannah is gonna be waking up to eat soon."

"Yeah… I'm sure." He whispered, "Can I?"

She took his hand and led him down the hall, "Sure, honey… can you tell me if something is bothering you?"

"I don't want to be by Isaac." He whispered.

She furrowed her brow again, "Did he bug you tonight?"

"No."

"Did he crawl in bed with you again?"

"No."

"Sam?" she whispered helping into his father's side of the bed, "I don't understand… why don't you want to be with him in your room?"

"'cause… maybe… I'll hurt him?"

She tucked him in, "Honey… are you telling me or asking me?"

"Asking." He whispered.

"No. I don't believe you'd hurt him… why do you believe you'd hurt Isaac tonight?" she asked confused. He had been holding Solomon; he had changed Solomon's diaper, not Isaac's.

"No more talking, Mom, please?"

"Tomorrow morning then huh? You and me? Chocolate?"

He rolled to his side and offered her silence.

She kissed his cheek and slipped in next to him, pulling him close, "Love you." She whispered.

"Mom?"

"That's me." She whispered sleepily.

"Why do Solomon and Hannah have four names? Dad told me about them this morning, how come so many?"

She smiled and kissed his shoulder through his clothes, "Because we wanted them to have strong names."

"Oh." He whispered sadly and slid out of her embrace and off of the bed, "Night."

"Whoa!" she said getting to her feet quickly and grabbing him by his pajamas, "Back that little body up, Mister." She teased and playfully heaved him onto the bed, "What's with this face, huh?" she asked touching his cheeks, "I could land a plane on this bottom lip."

He pulled his face away and rested his head on her shoulder, offering his silence once more.

"Samuel… talk to me baby… what's wrong?" she asked. He said nothing, but buried his face deeper and squeezed her harder.

After twenty minutes of silence, save his shuddering breath as he cried she decided to simply let him sleep. There would be time to pry the problem out of him tomorrow.

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It was Hannah who woke for a feeding only minutes after Olivia had fallen asleep with Sam in her arms. She'd slipped out of bed easily and gathered up her little girl in her arms before she woke up Solomon, who Olivia knew to be the light sleeper in the family, right along with Sam who promptly came into the nursery as she fed Hannah.

"You okay, Handsome?" Olivia asked in a whisper and winced as Hannah latched on slightly harder than normal. Olivia gave a yelp startling both Sam and Hannah.

"What happened?" Sam asked putting his hand on Olivia's shoulder, "Did she hurt you Mom? I'll tell Dad if she did."

Olivia laughed and wrapped her free hand around his neck pulling him down for a kiss on his cheek, "No, she just surprised me, she's good, and she's eating… why are you awake Honey?"

"I'm going back to my bed, and I didn't want you to worry."

He'd done it on purpose and she knew it. He'd waited until she was occupied with one of the babies and bolted. Something was eating at him, "Sam… you know you can talk to me or d-"

He kissed her cheek softly, "Night."

She exhaled and smiled softly, "Night, you good looking boy."

Hannah seemed intent on getting her fill because as soon as she was dissatisfied with one of Olivia's breasts she promptly screamed for the other.

"Alright." Olivia laughed, "Geez, save some for Solo-mon." she groaned through a smile, "Look what your Daddy did Hannah… got me calling your big brother all sorts of crazy nick names."

Hannah could care less about her mother's conversation topic. Her mind was on the prize and the prize was Olivia's nipple grazing her lips until she rooted just right and took hold, "Hey, a moment on the lips a life time on the hips, Pumpkin." She laughed and watched in utter joy as her baby gained strength from her body, "You know," Olivia whispered, "Your Daddy… I think he's right about a few things… I think, well, maybe its okay that you have my name, what do you think?"

Hannah took a glance of her mother once Olivia kept a steady stream of one sided conversation going, "I mean, really when you look at it… it's just a name right? And it means good things right? So… you know… I think you'll be a beautiful strong little girl and eventually woman." Olivia smiled stroking her daughters cheek, "Maybe… maybe you'll grow up thinking I'm a pretty decent person, I've tried to be honey, maybe some of my decisions have been less than… good, but… I've tried to be someone you might want to look up to."

Hannah stopped sucking for a brief second and rested her hand on the curve of Olivia's breast, "Sorry," Olivia smiled, "No more tattoos for mommy." Hannah continued to suck until she decided she was full. It was when Olivia was tucking Hannah back into her crib that she realized she could hear that silent buzz from the television. That buzz that when everything is quiet and the television is muted, you can hear it.

She walked cautiously into the living room knowing that she had heard the distinct squeak of Sam's door open and close indicating he'd walked in and went back to bed. She turned the corner surprised to see Elliot sitting on the couch, head tilted back, eyes starring blankly at the ceiling. His legs wide open, something in his hand.

"Elliot?" she whispered walking to him, "Honey, it's chilly out here, come to bed?" she asked extending her hand to him; he took it but surprised her by pulling her down next to him.

"Hello." He whispered to her and kissed her

She smiled kissing him back, wanting to separate and ask why he's sitting on the couch, but he followed her lips, took her lower one between his teeth and tugged gently before giving her freedom, "Wow," she exhaled, "Um… what… what exactly was that for?" she whispered kissing the corner of his mouth. Suddenly it wasn't so chilly.

"I… just wanted to kiss you." He told her touching his fingertips to the line of her jaw and kissing her tenderly again.

She pulled back, there was something… too desperate, almost too passionate about his kiss and it worried her, "Is something wrong?" she asked softly and finally glanced down at the item in his hand. She smiled softly, "You got them developed? I look terrible."

"I printed it off the computer when I got home that night. And you look amazing." He smiled as she curled next to him and stared down at the photo that the nurse had taken of them, Sam holding Hannah, Isaac leaning against his mother who was holding Solomon, her neck turned to meet Elliot's kiss with a smile.

"Look at Sam's face." She whispered through a smile, "He is so excited about Hannah."

"And Solo?" Elliot asked, kissing the top of her head and rubbing her bicep softly.

"I think… Solomon worries Sam… he changed his diaper by himself today, I think it really bothered him." Olivia exhaled and kissed his abdomen through his dress shirt, "Why didn't you come to bed when you got home?"

"I like to check on the boys when I get home." He confessed, "Sam was crying in his sleep."

She sat up quickly, "What? Why? Did he say why? He was so-"

"Shhh." Elliot smiled softly and pulled her head gently back into his chest, "Let me hold you… like this, please?" She furrowed her brow but let him do just that, "I went into Sam's room," He continued, "And he was crying in his sleep… I woke him up and he let me hold him until he fell asleep again… he let me hold him, and it was awesome, but he still didn't tell me what he was upset about."

"He was upset tonight." She confessed, "He wouldn't tell me either… so don't take that one personal okay?" when there was no answer she knew that the situation with Sam wasn't what started this odd contemplation, "What is it El?"

"Tell me what Sam does before bed." He whispered.

She pushed aside the confusion and told him, "Around eight or so he still gets a little anxious, but that passes if you read to him, it's got to be an adult book though or he wont even attempt to listen."

"Does he give you a hard time when you tell him it's time for bed?"

"El," she shook her head, "What's going on?"

"Please?" he whispered running his hand over her head, "Tell me."

She exhaled softly, "Not really although the other day he pitched a fit because national geographic was having something about sharks on, he wanted to listen to it, we made a deal and he was fine with it."

"He likes sharks?"

She smiled and lowered her head to his lap, "Yeah, he does."

"Isaac still streaking?"

She laughed, "Every time I turn around. And it's so cold; I don't get how he does it. Oddly though, I think he's getting jealous of the babies… he literally tried to separate my breast from Solomon's suction… I thought I was going to have my boob separated from my body."

He rested his hand on her waist, "How's the potty training."

"Oh." She grinned rubbing his shin softly through his slacks, "He actually is totally into running to the toilet when he was to go. He'll let me know when he has to go, but let me tell you something El, you had better teach that boy to aim because as of today, he's a terrible shot."

Elliot smiled sadly; glad she couldn't see him, "El, that was supposed to be a joke." She said softly and squeezed his shin, "You gonna tell me what's on your mind?"

"Hannah and Solomon… are they still getting up?"

"Like clockwork." Olivia whispered knowing he still hadn't answered her, "But they're barely three weeks… it's expected… what's wrong Elliot? Tell me, please?"

"When I'm not here… what are your nights like? How do you sleep? How do you get ready for bed? Do you watch television? Read? Play with the kids? What?"

He feels guilty.

She turned over in his lap so she could look up at him, "I don't sleep well when you're not next to me." She confessed, "But I know your doing a good thing helping others and if I loose a little sleep while you give someone a little peace, I'm good with that." She assured him reaching up and tracing his lips with her finger, "Tell me."

He swallowed hard, "What do you do before you go to sleep?"

She lowered her hand to his chest, confused by his questioning, "I make sure Sam has his homework done for the next day, I make sure Isaac's clothes are laid out… not that he keeps them on, I feed them dinner and make sure Hannah and Solomon are changed, fed and either with me and the boys or sleeping well, if they're sleeping the boys and I will play and spend some time doing little things, if they're awake I let the boys spend time with them, getting familiar with them… what's with the questions El?"

"What about you Liv? What do you do?"

She smiled up at him softly, "I read."

"What?"

She shrugged, "This and that… although… I've been perusing the Kama Sutra, when I'm ready I want to uh… try something new." She grinned, but when he didn't she sat up, "El? Spill it." She told him softly and framed his face, "Tell me." She said searching his eyes, she couldn't figure it out; he was half happy and half unsure, almost sad. She kissed him affectionately on the lips, "Say it, Baby." she whispered over his lips, "Just tell me."

He exhaled, closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers, "I… made a decision."

"With?" She furrowed her brow and waited.

He surprised her when he pulled her gently over his thighs and let her straddle him with her knees, she almost expected it to hurt, but there was no pain, just mild discomfort from her still healing episiotomy. Her stitches were gone and for the most part she moved freely but odd positions, such as this one, were still slightly uncomfortable. "I don't like the way things are."

She furrowed her brows and him and leaned back on his legs, "I-I'm confused… we agreed we we're on the upswing… we have an appointment with Vivian right around the corner, the babies are healthy the boy-"

"Shh," he smiled cupping her face, "I'm so happy with you, Liv, and I'm so happy with our kids-"

"Then… what's with the decision? What are you talking about? What don't you like?" she asked waiting for his answer.

"I don't like that I didn't know Sam liked sharks or that Isaac was a bad shot or that you actually put clothes out for Isaac." He confessed, "So… I've made my decision…and, Liv… I want to be home with my family… I'm gonna take the promotion."

Her grin surprised him.

"You'll be home at night?" she smiled broadly.

"Yeah… there's an opening in the robbery division for a rookie leu… I'm gonna take it." He told her softly.

"El," she shook her head, "You can't do this for me or the kids… it's got to be for you… I know how much you love SVU, and if your doing it just to come home to me… you've got to know that there will nights I wont be home when I go back to work… are you sure, I mean are you absolutely sure you want this?"

He exhaled, "I've thought about it for a while, and… when I held Hannah in my arms in the hospital… Liv… I fell in love with her, and Solo… he caught me at first glance but then I thought about loosing you as a partner, and I decided not to take the promotion… but… Liv… I want to be home with our kids and with you as much as possible, I don't want… our time together to be consumed with victims, I want us together… as much as possible but with our kids… healthy… I just-I want us, Liv." He said softly, "Can you understand that?"

She grinned and kissed him long, wet and hard as she undid his tie leaving it draped around his neck. She broke the kiss panting, "I can understand it." She whispered over his lips, "And… I… want you home too, El." She grinned and slowly began to unbutton his shirt as she reached between them and cupped him.

He groaned, "Liv… come on." He whispered.

"That's sort of the point." She smiled freeing the last button, "I am so completely happy that you're going to be home, yeah I'm a little bummed that I'll probably get some fat just about ready to retire detective to break in," she whispered unbuckling his belt, "and I'm really torn up that I won't see you across my desk… that I won't have anyone to play footsies with or sneak a kiss with anymore," she told him, "But… I have to admit… the idea of you being home more… that's a turn on in and of itself."

"Liv? Are you saying you're good with this?"

She grinned reaching her hand into his boxers and stroking him, "Um… I think that's what I'm saying, yes."

He closed his eyes savoring the warmth of her hand, "Liv… I don't think… I mean you said you were still in a little discomfort… I don't think we can make love tonight."

She took his jaw into her hand as she continued stroking him long and slow, she locked eyes with him and nipped his lip gently, "Who said I was going to make love to you?" she asked scooting off of his thighs and slowly kneeling in front of him, "Maybe… I'm just gonna make you smile a little."

He grinned in anticipation, "Are you sure?"

She nestled between his legs and freed his erection, "Pretty sure, yeah." She whispered kissing the tip of his form and smiling at his involuntary jump.

"We'll get caught, Liv… the kids." He whispered arching his hips up. She's not sure what it is, but there is something about him still being clothed, yet exposed that is turning her on to the point of hot.

She kissed his tip again, ran the tip of her tongue over the top of his shaft, hearing him moan before she stopped at his naval, "Sam, probably isn't gonna want to talk at all, so I'm sure he's not getting up. She whispered kissing her way up his abdomen and pushing the fabric of his shirt to the side, so she could lay claim to his chest and nipple, "We both know Isaac could sleep through a cannon." She whispered sucking his nipple to a peek stopping when he moaned only to wrap her mouth over the other. To this day she is still amazed at his reaction when her mouth is on his chest.

He lowered the palm of his hands to her flannel pants to stroke her but she promptly pushed his hand away.

"I want to touch you." He said gruffly.

She nipped at his neck, "No." she whispered, "No, this is my appreciation." She told him, whispering in his ear, "I might not be able to let you have me tonight… but, um," she nipped his jaw and stroked his length, "I thought maybe… I don't know… maybe, you'd let me figure something out?" she teased softly.

He swallowed and raised his hips, "Yeah… sure, sounds good." He panted.

It was only a matter of minutes before he was fully erect in the warmth of her mouth, her hands grazing his thighs, his moans slicing into the air, his fingers digging into her arms. There would be bruises tomorrow, but he had nothing else to hold onto, "Liv-" he growled spurring her on. She reached up, fondled the muscle of his chest, the rise of his nipple and when he smiled in sweet agony… she applied more pressure.

He snapped his head back, crushed his teeth together and gently thrust his hips up. She held him firmly to the couch, "Liv… oh… Liv… coming." He panted. She took one last glance at him and brought him to climax, withdrawing her mouth only to adjust his erection to cover his abdomen with his joy. He panted him self back to reality. She waited for him to settle before twining her fingers with his and slowly licking his abdomen clean. She felt his hands squeeze hers and she was almost tempted to throw caution to the wind and let him take her on the table like they'd discussed.

Gently she adjusted his boxers and zipped his pants back up before straddling him again and kissing his mouth, "We need to get a Christmas tree for the kids… and go shopping." She smiled.

He sat there useless for conversation. He kissed her mouth, kissed her neck, trailed his hand over her back until she leaned back to look at him wagging her brows "So," She grinned kissing him again, "Lieutenant Stabler… how does it feel, to have a second grade detective's lips on you?"

He swallowed and grinned, "Um… you know, I'm not really clear on the matter… perhaps the detective could… go over the situation with me one more time."

She chuckled, "Right here?"

He grabbed the globes of her bottom and squeezed, "Anywhere, Liv… you have no idea what you do to me when you do that… it's amazing." He grinned separating the flesh he held.

She groaned sharply and took in air in pain.

"I'm sorry." He said immediately, "I'm sorry… that hurt?"

She blushed, "Um… a little, no big deal though… I was gonna ask you something though."

"What?" he asked seriously, truly sorry for hurting her in such an intimate area.

She smiled coyly, "Is it against protocol for a lieutenant to take a shower with a little ole detective?"

He smirked, "I suppose that depends on what's going on in that shower."

She cupped him through his pants, "Whatever you want to come up."

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Olivia watched from the kitchen counter as Sam sat in his chair, swinging his feet back and forth. She smiled that his feet were almost touching the floor. He'd been gaining weight and looking healthier with each passing day. "Your Daddy came home really late last night, huh?" Olivia asked setting his orange juice in its usual spot.

Sam took a drink and ignored her question. He slipped off of his seat and walked down the hall, she followed, curious as to what peeked his interest. She stopped at the door and smiled softly as Sam wormed his way onto the bed and curled up to his father who was sleeping soundly until Sam felt for Elliot's hand and wrapped it around him.

"Hey." Elliot smiled groggily, "Who's this little guy in my bed."

Sam sniffled as Olivia lay next to he and Elliot, "I'm not sure." Olivia said running her finger over Sam's face, "But, he's the most handsome little boy I've ever seen… just wish he wasn't so quiet this morning."

"What's wrong Sam?"

"What's you're name mom?" Sam asked ignoring his father but still holding his hands over his body.

She furrowed her brow, "You know my name." _Please don't stop calling me mom_.

"What's all of it?"

She looked at Elliot who looked just as confused, "Olivia Renae Benson Stabler… why do you ask?"

"What's yours dad?" Sam asked ignoring his mother who cocked her brow in suspicion.

"Elliot Scott Stabler… what's with the question Samuel Stabler?"

Sam sobbed, bringing his knees up to is chest as his father held him, Olivia scooted closer, "Hey, hey, what's this?" she asked tracing his tear.

"Sam," Elliot whispered, "Tell us what's wrong?"

He wiped his tears with the back of his hand, "Tripod… he needs food."

Elliot held him tighter, "Don't change the subject, Son… why are you upset?"

Sam remained quiet and Olivia suddenly put it together," Son… is it the names? Do you not like the names we picked for your brother and sister?"

He sniffled and tried to catch his breath, "You said…you said they were strong because they had a lot of names, they have four names and Isaac has three so he's… maybe a little less strong then Solomon and Hannah but he's strong like Dad, and dad has three names, but you have four and you're really strong too."

"Sam… why do the names make you sad?" Olivia asked gently.

"Cause," he hiccupped, "I only have two… so I'm not strong like the rest, you said so, mom."

She reached out and touched her palm to his chest, "No, honey… that's not what I said."

"Yeah h-"

She covered his lips, "Listen to me sweet boy." She said softly, "I told you their names, you asked why they had so many and I told you I wanted them to have strong names… Honey, I didn't get to name you, I would have given you three names…. But your name is still strong… you're still strong."

He swallowed and tried to catch his breath as Elliot rubbed his back, "Do you feel left out because you don't have a middle name?" Elliot asked almost thinking it humorous that something so insignificant could be so… significant.

Sam shuddered in his father's embrace and reached for his mother's hand who gladly covered his, "I just want to be a strong Man." Sam confessed, "And I want a strong name… Sam's not strong, maybe 'cause my mom gave it to me?"

"Samuel is a very strong name." She whispered to him, "Remember what I told you it meant?"

"Yeah." He shook his head, "God hears… but we're not talking so much right now."

"You will." Elliot assured him,

"God heard your daddy and me when we were hurting and in so much pain… when our hearts wouldn't smile anymore… he heard us and he gave us you." She assured him, "that's pretty strong… pretty great if you ask me."

Sam took it in and after a moment of silence he spoke up, "Maybe your right mom… but I want four names and I only have two, how do I get four?"

Elliot chuckled, "Your mom and I go stand in a long line and fill out a piece of paper."

"Isaac wants four too." Sam informed them.

"Oh really?" Olivia laughed, "He told you this?"

"No." Sam shook his head, "But if I have four and Solo and Hannah have four… he's gonna feel left out." Sam explained.

"Oh," Olivia laughed, "Right, I see."

"Any thoughts on a name for you?" Elliot asked through a smile.

Sam grinned, "Um… Elliot?"

Elliot.

Olivia looked at her husband who seemed blown away, "You-y-you want my name?" Elliot asked titling his neck.

"You're strong." Sam explained and then shook his head, "But that's okay if I can't… maybe mom could think of something?"

Elliot lay stunned. Someone wanted his name.

Olivia saw Elliot's shock and quickly interfered, "Yeah, I'll come up with something let me think about it though huh? That way it's a good one."

Sam grinned and wiggled out of Elliot's shocked embrace, "Thanks." Sam said kissing her cheek and running out of the room, "Isaac! We're getting names!"

Olivia laughed, "That was interesting."

Elliot licked his lips, "he wants my name?"

She smiled at him and traced his jaw line, "That's what he said… do you not want that, I mean… I know Isaac doesn't have your name and he's first born son."

Elliot smiled, "First born… that doesn't matter… the name has to fit the person and… don't get me wrong, I love Isaac to death, but he is truly himself, He's Isaac Reagan… I'm just… I'm so floored that someone would actually want my name."

"Well," Olivia kissed his lips, "We don't have to decide anything right now… we'll do it when the time is right… huh?"

He grinned at her, "Yeah."

After a few moments Olivia snaked her hand under her pillow, "Hey, El?"

"Yeah?"

"Last night… I was cleaning the bedroom." She whispered running the top of her foot along his calf.

"Sorry, did I leave a mess?"

"No." She grinned, "Um… well, I know you and I had a sort of rough patch the last several weeks and uh… we sort of stopped using our box, so," she grinned pulling a small piece of paper from under her pillow and teasing him with it, "I decided to make a withdrawal to get us back into the swing of things."

He chuckled, "I thought you were sore."

"I've got a week." She whispered.

He eyed her and wanted her right then and there, "Draw anything good?"

She kissed him, ran her tongue over his teeth and smiled, "Oh… it's good."

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"Case?" Paul groaned stepping into the office of the house to see Casey had fallen asleep in her chair, "Honey, wake up." He whispered kneeling next to her, "Wake up Casey."

When there was no response he simply picked her up, she wrapped her arms around his shoulder, "Thank you."

He smiled, "You been up all night?"

"Yeah." She whispered tucking her face into his neck, "I wanted to be next to you though."

"So why weren't you?" He asked laying her down on the bed and slipping in behind her.

"Thinking."

"Uh oh." He groaned and bit her shoulder gently, "About what?"

She exhaled, "Addison was cruising the couch last night."

He laughed, "Yeah… it's just a matter of time before he starts walking."

"Yeah." She exhaled and wrapped his arms around her tighter.

"That's not what kept you up though is it?"

"No."

"Then?"

"Next year is election year… did you know that?"

"Yeah… and that means what?"

She exhaled and turned to face him, "My boss is running for re-election."

"So."

"I hate her."

"I know you do."

"Well," Casey exhaled, "What-what do you think, or what would you say…. Hypothetically of course, if… I sort of… ran for District Attorney?"

He raised his brows in pleasant surprise, "You want to run for office?"

"Hypothetically speaking."

"Can it Casey." He grinned, "You want to or not?"

She exhaled, "I want to."

He grinned, "Well then… I better get started on a slogan."

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Sam walked happily with Crystal down the hall of the school on his way to meet his mother, "Can you come over? My mom is making lasagna to night and she said the babies are able to be around people now."

"No," Crystal sighed, "I can't grandma and grandpa are coming over again but Mom said I could probably come later on the weekend, maybe church again."

Before Sam could express his disappointment he found him self being painfully shoved into the locker, his head bouncing off of it before being shoved again, "What's up fag bait?" It was sixth grader Tommy Townsthem, the local bully who Sam and Crystal referred to as Tommy Poundsthem and who had a specific thing for Sam, this was the traditional routine once the bell sounded at the end of the day.

Sam learned the hard way not to have his cane out, lest it be thrown where he couldn't locate. He and Crystal even waited until they were virtually the last to leave before they walked the halls just to steer clear of Poundsthem, "Leave me alone Tommy." Sam said coolly, "Crystal, go outside."

"Oh… does some one got to protect the girly girl?" Tommy said in a baby voice, much like Sam knew his mother would use with Isaac.

"Tommy," Crystal chirped, "Why don't you stick it where the son don't shine you stupid jerk wad?"

"Crystal!" Sam interrupted, "Just, go!"

Tommy shoved Sam again, "Yeah Crystal go while I pound your _boy_ friend."

Sam shook his head and slowly walked away, another shove to his back that forced him to the floor. He skidded a few inches and got himself to his feet to continue walking, happy when he felt the presence of Crystal next to him and the cool air from outside on his face.

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Olivia groaned looking down at her blouse, "Leaking like a sieve." She huffed and turned around to the two babies in the back seat, "Someone didn't eat enough." She teased reaching into the diaper bag and withdrawing a small round nursing pad. She turned to keep her eye out for Sam as she unbuttoned the top of her blouse and wedged the cotton into her bra, "All I know is… one of you is eating when we get home." She muttered and suddenly squinted her eyes for focus at the scene before her. She could have sworn she'd just saw Crystal get into a car with her mother, where was Sam?

She rubbed her eyes, she was so tired. She reached into the cubby and retrieved her glasses putting them on and gasping as she immediately spotted Sam, "No." she shook her head at the sight, "Oh no." She had to force herself to stay in the car. There were too many people around and Sam would die of embarrassment if she came to his rescue. Where was Alex?

She watched carefully as some kid she wasn't familiar with antagonized Sam who simply kept walking further away. "Good, Sam…just get away Baby." She muttered. She couldn't leave the babies and Sam was too far away, and no one wants their mommy to fight for them. She covered her mouth with her hand, in shock, as the boy pushed Sam to the ground. Sam adjusted his glasses and stood up saying something to the boy. In the distance she could see Alex finally making her way out to the steps, but she could tell she didn't immediately see Sam.

Before Alex could spot Sam he had been pushed to the ground. "Get up!" Olivia hissed taking a look at the babies and then back at Sam, she was stuck. "Alex!" she exclaaimed as if she could hear. It was apparent that Alex was looking for Sam but couldn't spot him until the crowd began to form, chanting Fight. Fight. Fight.

Olivia saw it. Saw Sam's posture, she'd taught it to him, a ground attack specifically for him, "No, Sam!" she slammed her hand against the steering wheel just as the bully stepped over Sam's leg. And as soon as he felt Tommy's leg next to his ankle, Sam moved as quick as his mother had showed him, sliding his leg out and tripping Tommy, effectively landing him on his butt, but just as fast and hard as Sam's leg had come up for the trip, it came down in a perfect ax kick that connected blindly with Tommy's gut.

Olivia frantically honked the horn not realizing that Alex was already running over to the crowd, Olivia pulled the keys from the ignition and locked the door via remote that set the alarm as she sprinted just in time to see her gentle Samuel turn into something entirely different as he sat on Tommy's chest, the boy's hair in his fists as he bashed Tommy Townsthem's head against the cement. Olivia ran to her son before he unleashed nine years of hidden rage.


	38. Chapter 38 Upswing

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 38 Upswing

Olivia stopped as soon as it registered that she couldn't leave her children in the vehicle alone, "Sam!" she barked using her hands as a megaphone as she struggled for balance in the freshly fallen snow. She watched in horror as Sam continued to yell and assault the young boy while Alex was quickly making her way through the crowd, a tall man following suit, as Alex bent low.

"Sam, stop!" Alex warned, just as Sam held a fistful of hair in one hand and punched Tommy with the other.

"Stupid jerk wad!" Sam screeched as Alex pulled him off by his waistband, "You big stupid jerk wad!" Sam yelled feeling his feet leave the ground as Alex's hands wrapped around his body. Sam raised his feet kicking wildly and making contact with the boy's shoulder as he struggled to stand, "I hate you, you big creep!" Sam barked, "I hope you die!"

"Shhh." Alex cooed into his ear and immediately scanned the vicinity for Olivia's car. She spotted her easily; she was standing wringing her ungloved hands torn between wanting to be with Sam and needing to keep three other children safe.

Alex moved quickly, carrying a still very much fighting Samuel, "Stop kicking, Sam." Alex told him sternly and lowered him to his feet, turning him so he faced her, "Hey! I get that you are _very_ angry, but that does _not_ mean that you act this way, do you understand me?" she told him as sternly as she could without raising her voice.

Sam ignored her and sidestepped around her body, "Where is he?" he gasped and started walking back to where he knew the fight had started.

He was shocked when he felt someone snatch him up from behind, "I absolutely. Don't think so, Samuel." Olivia scolded firmly, as she turned him around tossing keys to Alex who took them to tend to the children in the car. Olivia tried to calm Sam who was angry, shaking and completely full of rage.

He tried to fight with her to get away, she grabbed his wrists and held them at his side, "You want to tell me how you thought that was a good idea?" Olivia raised her voice, careful to keep it on the borderline of stern and gentle yet, needing to get her point across to him that she wasn't playing. "Sam? What were you thinking?" Olivia asked.

"He called me fag bait!" Sam protested trying to free his wrists, "Let me go, I'll kill him."

"STOP!" Olivia said forcefully and squeezed his wrists holding them firmer at his sides, "You listen to me _right now_… what you did was _wrong_, Samuel."

"_You said_ I could fight back!" he yelled, "I'm not wrong, that stupid jerk wad is!"

"Sam," she said sternly, "Your father and I said you could protect yourself, we _never_ said that you could beat someone up like that… _why_ did you keep hitting him?" she asked, "Tell me…now!" she raised her voice to catch his attention and then quickly lowered it, "Tell me, there are no options here. You tell me now."

Sam stepped back, twisted, and then yanked his wrists out of her hands, "Leave. Me. Alone." He seethed, "Tommy is a puke bucket and he got what he deserved, I hope his brain is messed up, now."

Olivia looked past Sam's shoulders to see the tall man that had followed Alex to the fight, dragging Tommy and slapping him hard on the back of the head spouting something about being a pussy fighter. She exhaled, the cycle of abuse evident. She reached out as Sam tried to bail again, "Get back here!" she warned pulling him back to her by the fabric of his shirt, "I didn't tell you that you could leave… you're in serious trouble right now, Sam." Olivia warned.

To her astonishment, he pushed her, "I don't care anymore!" he barked and turned to leave, running his hands angrily through his mohawk. She pulled his left hand with her right, only to stare wide eyed as right hand swung around to hit her.

In an instant her reflexes caught it and pulled him forcefully to her body, his back against her chest, quickly wrapping her arms around him and finding his ear with her lips, "Let me tell you something young man," she whispered as calm as possible, "If you would have just hit me, I would have been hurt and your daddy would have seen a mark on me and he would have been hurt and you would have disappointed him so much-"

"Let-"

"Shut. Your. Mouth. And open your ears." She told him, holding him tighter. She was getting angrier, but ironically not at him. She was angry with the situation, angry that such rage could be rooted in innocence. She forced herself into calm and spoke softly against him, "I love you more than anything I ever thought I could love. Do you understand that?"

"I d-"

She gave him a quick squeeze to get his attention, "Yes or no?" she commanded.

He swallowed and tried to calm himself, "I… know."

"I'm going to let you go… if you hit me… you and I are going to have a more serious problem then we already do. Understand me?" she told him, careful to keep her voice in a delicate balance of loving mother and disciplinarian. They'd already warned him that they would be getting a little tougher on him, requiring a little more from him. This behavior was absolutely unacceptable. Understandable? Yes. Acceptable? No.

He sniffled and shook his head. "Yes."

She let him go slowly and looked him up and down before framing his face, "Are you okay?"

"My hand hurts, Mom."

She looked at his swollen knuckles, "That's what happens in fights, can you move your hand?"

"Yeah." He whispered showing her the movement.

"Get in the car." Olivia exhaled walking him to the SUV, "I'll go talk to the principal."

"No." Alex chimed in from the distance, "I will, the other parent and student is gone, so, if something comes up, the school will just call… take him home, get him calmed, I'll deal with whatever goes on here." Alex told her softly, "I turned the heater on in the car for the kids, the babies are asleep and Isaac is fighting it."

Olivia exhaled, "Thanks."

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"He did what!" Elliot almost shrieked, "Are you sure?"

"Elliot," she exhaled, "I watched him beat the little boy up…he was so angry, he tried to hit me."

Elliot groaned and sat next to her on the bed as she fed Solomon from her breast, "Did he say why?"

Olivia exhaled, "El… there was no excuse for what he did. It was almost… vicious, and we can't support that, no matter why it happened." she said shifting her son to her opposite breast, "He needs to be punished."

"Where is he?"

"I iced his hand and gave him a snack and told him we'd all sit down and talk about it when you came home. He's probably in his room, I'm almost positive he felt like he was doing the right thing but the bottom line is, he needs to know we won't stand for blatant violence."

"I agree." Elliot exhaled, "Did you feed Hannah already?"

"Yeah, El-"

"Wee wee!" Isaac howled running into the bedroom and throwing himself against the bed, using the corner of the comforter to pull himself onto the mattress, "Potty! Go!" he said holding himself. Elliot and Olivia were surprised he still had clothes on.

Feeling that Solomon was getting far too much attention since neither Olivia nor Elliot moved immediately to help him, Isaac walked over to his mother and took the blanket off of her body throwing it on the ground, "No Olo." He said frowning at the infant and simply trying to pull Solomon's face away from his mother's breast. Olivia yelped and groaned at the pain of having Solomon's mouth forcefully moved before she could pull Isaac's hand away.

"No!" Elliot scolded.

Isaac immediately startled and plopped down to his bottom on the mattress in reaction to the boom of his father's voice. He watched his father for a few seconds before his mouth slowly widened and he started to cry, "Mama!"

"You're okay." Olivia grinned kissing his forehead, "Go potty- hurry." She encouraged wiping his nose with her thumb. He giggled, "Yeah, cry those crocodile tears, Buddy." She laughed. "Get going you big faker."

"El?" Olivia said motioning to Solomon who had quickly found his way back to his mother's nipple, "Can you take Isa-"

"Let's go." Elliot laughed picking his son up and happily taking him to the restroom.

"No.. take him to their restroom, he's a bad shot and he's not gonna want to sit to pee!" Olivia laughed softly. She stood to her feet; careful to do it slowly to keep Solomon latched on. Isaac bolted down the hall, Elliot just as fast. She caught up with them to see Elliot attempting to lift him to sit on the toilet, which he screamed and cried frantically, "NO!" he bawled, "No Dada!"

"I don't get it." Elliot shook his head, "He's got to pee but won't go."

"Hey, that's your fault, keep the door locked next time." Olivia laughed.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Elliot asked trying to sit Isaac back onto the toilet to which Isaac promptly shrieked and kicked.

"He saw you pee standing up… since then he won't sit to go."

Elliot lowered Isaac to the floor and thought for a moment, "He's really a bad shot?"

"Terrible." Olivia groaned.

"Give me a second."

"He's gonna wet himself." She warned as he trotted down the hall and returned just as fast.

"Are you really a bad shot?" Elliot asked Isaac who simply smirked at him and wiggled around holding himself, "Well, then," Elliot said, "that just means you need target practice." He chuckled, "Here we go." He grinned holding up a baggie.

"Cheerios?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "Our son has to pee and you got cheerios?"

Elliot laughed, "Watch and learn, Liv."

Olivia smirked and arched her brows before looking on skeptically as Elliot dropped a few cheerios in the toilet, "Hit the cheerio." Elliot told Isaac as he helped him onto a small step stool. "Lean forward, son." Elliot instructed and helped him with his boxers.

Elliot laughed when a perfect stream of urine shot out parallel to the ground, "No!" he grinned helping the youngster with his hands. Olivia laughed, soothing her feeding baby, as Elliot guided Isaac's hands over his body, "Shoot them." He encouraged and soon the stream was pointed directly into the bowl. Isaac laughing in complete joy, "Oh, you got one." Elliot grinned, "Good boy."

Olivia chuckled, "You just taught our son to shoot cheerios with his pee?"

Elliot grinned, "Yep… and I bet you the next time, he's better on his aim."

She smiled, "Thanks… I didn't know how I was gonna get him to get it in the bowl." She laughed, "You're brilliant." She said inserting her finger into Solomon's mouth and breaking suction before his jaw tightened indicating he was finished. Hannah had clamped down on her nipple on what Olivia considered to be accident. Solomon did it regularly and she's wasn't so sure it's on accident. She wondered if he liked to see Olivia react in a high pitched voice. She chuckled to herself as Elliot cleaned Isaac, "I'll burp him and put him down… then, you and I can talk to Sam?"

"Why don't you break him in and I'll lay Isaac down." Elliot said helping the boy with his boxers. He was gone as soon as the boxers hit his waist. "I don't want Sam to feel like we're double teaming him, and I know he'll tell you more if I'm not there… when you feel like he's okay, let me know and we'll handle the grounding together."

She smiled, "You know… I never thought we'd have to actually ground him for something like this… I thought maybe, not doing chores or something but this, wasn't on the list."

Elliot laughed, "He's a boy… it was coming."

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"Whatchya working on?" Olivia asked sitting softly on Sam's bed.

"My spelling words… the teacher puts them on tape for me." He said shuddering for breath. He wasn't studying, she'd watched him from the door, and he'd been sobbing since he got home.

"It's okay to be upset right now, Honey." She assured him and went to lean her weight on the bed when her hand struck the puddle of urine. She furrowed her brow and suddenly noticed the wetness of his jeans, "Oh, honey… how long have you been wet?" she asked softly then noticed his snack still sat uneaten on his desk, his juice untouched. He was shaking. He was scared of something and she knew full well that this time it wasn't Daddy Wilson or the boogie man, it was her and Elliot and whatever punishment Sam thought was coming. She silently thanked God that Elliot had sense enough to not be here right now.

"I… I, um… I" he exhaled wiping his face with the back of his hand. Sam brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head in his arms as he sobbed.

She ran her clean hand though blond hair and kissed him tenderly, "Hey… what are the tears from? Is your hand hurting?"

"Mom," he shook his head and sobbed again, "Is…Tommy okay?"

Olivia exhaled, "Alex called and said he had to get a few stitches." She said softly, "You want to tell me why you think he deserved that?"

When he remained quiet she reached out to touch him and he flinched, "No touching." He whispered hoarsely, "No touching. No more, okay?" he said softly.

She furrowed her brow and remembered when she'd told Elliot not to touch her in spite of desperately wanting him to. She reached out to him and pulled his wet body into her lap hugging him softly, "I know you think you shouldn't be hugged right now because of what's happened but I want you to understand that there's nothing you could do that would make me not want to hold you." She whispered and soothed him softly until he finally, after several minutes, stopped crying, "Come on… let's get you cleaned up so we can talk huh?"

"He called me… fag bait, mom." Sam whispered refusing to let go of her.

"Those are just words honey… nothing more, nothing less." She assured him.

"But… words have power." He whispered.

"Yes they do." She admitted, "But I promise you, these words aren't true… honey, do you even know what that means?" she asked in curiosity.

"No talking, please Mom? Okay? No more?" He pleaded softly against her.

"Samuel," She exhaled helping him off of his bed, "I need to understand why you reacted this way… can you tell me?"

"He called me fag bait… it hurt me, mom." He confessed as she retrieved clothes for him.

She bent low in front of him, "You're a handsome young man, you're amazing and you're sweet, and you're beautiful, don't worry about what he thinks." She told him and gently pushed him down the hall, "Shower up, meet me and your father in the living room."

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Sheets were washing by the time Sam found himself standing in the kitchen, "Its okay Sam, we're just gonna talk with you and get this straightened out." Olivia assured him as he held fiercely to the counter top.

"You and Elliot?" He swallowed hard.

_Elliot? _

She furrowed her brow at his sudden change in name, "Me and your father, baby… are you scared?"

"No." He lied gripping the counter tighter acting as if he weren't trying to pin point rather or not his father was close. His smell, the sound of his steps against the floor, the hum of a muted television.

"Okay, well… would you rather we talked in the kitchen?"

"No." he lied again. He would rather they didn't talk at all.

"El, can you come here please?" Olivia called and rubbed Sam's back gently, noticing his body tensed immediately, "its okay baby." She whispered, "No spankings and no yelling, that's our promise."

"Yeah?" Elliot said softly coming into the kitchen, "Sam?" Elliot dropped his voice, "Come here, Son."

Sam stayed perfectly still and gripped the counter until his fingernail started to bend back.

"Sam." Elliot repeated, "Come here."

Olivia furrowed her brow at the unmistakable sound of urine flooding the floor, "Baby." She whispered taking Sam's hands and physically prying them from the counter top, "Come on, let's get back in the shower."

He started to cry, long winded terrified shrieks. Elliot starred in confusion. Olivia instantly picked him up ignoring the small amount of pain in her abdomen and the wetness of his pants against her, "Shhh." She whispered taking him back to the shower, "Shhh, he's not gonna hurt you baby."

She helped him out of his clothes and under the steady stream of water, "What's going on up here?" she asked tapping his temple before reaching for the soap.

He shook his head left to right and shuddered, "I don't want a spanking 'cause I'm bad."

"Hey," she stopped washing him and tipped his face to hers, "Feel my face." She instructed and smiled softly when soapy hands caressed her cheeks, "You're not a bad boy, and we don't give spankings in this family, but your dad and I can't let you off the hook on this one, especially if you won't tell us what happened." She exhaled, he tried to lower his hands but she kept them against her face, "You're a beautiful little boy and we're gonna get you through this Samuel I promise."

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"You pick which one." Elliot told Sam softly.

Sam furrowed his brow in confusion, "I pick what my discipline is?"

"Yep… you're gonna tell us what you think should happen to you."

"Mom?"

"Pick." She encouraged him knowing that nine times out of ten, kids tended to be harder on themselves than the parents would be.

Sam scratched his head, picking his own punishment was such a foreign concept, "Um… maybe a spanking?" he said hoping it was safer to stick with familiarity since it was much easier than the unfamiliar.

Olivia and Elliot took their turn to be confused, "Honey… we told you, we'll never spank you, why do you want us to?"

He shook his head swinging his feet under the kitchen table, "I don't understand what you want me to do." He confessed, "Daddy Wilson, he just… well, he just… Mom, he just hit me." He whispered.

Elliot ran his hand over Sam's hair and felt him flinch, "It's just me, Sam." He whispered and gently pulled him off of his chair and into his lap fully aware the Sam was less than appreciative of the maneuver.

"I will never, ever hit you Sam." Elliot whispered into his ear, "Never. I promise." He assured him, "But today you made a very bad choice to keep hitting that little boy and that's what we're going to deal with right now… do you need for us to give you some ideas?"

Sam rubbed his brow, "Yeah, 'cause all I know is that little boys get spanked."

Olivia kissed his temple gently as Elliot continued to hold him, "No, son, not anymore."

Elliot and Olivia provided him with many different bargaining chips to make things a little easier on him and eventually he came up with one, "Okay…. Maybe, no ice cream for a long time?"

"Nope." Elliot shook his head, "We need something more than that, son."

Sam exhaled, "Um… maybe no Saturday Movie night? And maybe I have no play time for…maybe a month?" he told them miserably.

"A month is a bit long, Sam." Elliot smiled, "But, how about two weeks?"

"Mom?"

"Okay, we'll accept that." Olivia said,"But I'm also giving you one and so it your father."

Sam groaned.

"I could give two if you'd like." Olivia chimed in.

"NO!" Sam said quickly, "No, one is good."

"Okay… you're not getting the Genius Loves Company CD this week." Olivia told him.

"And, you're not getting allowance this week." Elliot followed, "That way you can't just save up and buy it yourself." He informed him, "You're also going to sit down with your mother and write an apology letter to Tommy."

Sam's mouth fell open, "Dad," he slid off of his chair and felt for Elliot, framing his face, "Daddy… I've been waiting for the CD. And we went in and ordered it for me last month," He said sadly, "Please don't take that."

"I'm taking it Sam." Olivia said softly, "And I'm sorry Son… but I think the punishment fits, I know you're not telling us something so we're giving you a little grace here, but you're absolutely not getting that CD this week."

"But-"

"No buts, keep asking and it goes to two weeks. Your choice."

He silenced himself immediately and suddenly wormed his way onto Olivia's lap, "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry… that… I almost hurt you today."

She kissed his cheek, "I know you are little boy… but, about that… Your dad and I called Mags… she' s coming to see you right now, you need to talk to her, and I'm sorry but there's no bargaining on this one, Son… no badge, she's gonna stop by tonight, so… I hope you get your thoughts together."

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"Mom said I can't use the badge today." Sam said softly as he petted Tripod on the couch.

"Yeah? How do you feel about that?" Mags asked, ruffling the nape of Tripod's neck.

"I don't like it so much because that means you can ask me anything and I don't have anything to protect my heart with."

"Hmm, I see." Mags said softly, "This sure is a cutie of a dog you got here Sam." She said as Tripod rolled over to have his belly scratched.

"He's a good dog, he doesn't wet in the house, Isaac is being potty trained and Solomon, I think he eats too much and is going to get fat and Hannah, she really likes mom, but Dad will do anything for her. Last night he went down to the store in the snow to get her a pink pacifier even though she already has two… he said they weren't good enough… Hannah doesn't even like pacifiers, that's why she spits them out, but Daddy likes to get them for h-"

"Samuel." Mags whispered softly and touched her hand to his, "Your rambling… are you nervous?"

"No."

"Are you fibbing?"

"Yes."

She smiled and rubbed his shoulder softly, "Can you tell me what happened at school today?"

Sam lowered his head and half wished his mother was there to scold him into raising it, "Where's my mom?"

"I believe she and your father went to take care of your baby brother and sister… do you want one of your parents?"

"Yes."

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"What did you pull from my box?" Elliot grinned lying across the bed from Olivia whose hand rested gently on his chest.

"Ah… I can't tell ya." She teased, "Scoot over to me, I'm cold."

"I'm not warming you until you tell me what you drew." He said resolutely.

She smiled coyly at him and wormed herself over to him and wrapped his arm around her body, laid her face over his chest and tangled her feet with his over the comforter, "I'm sorry," She whispered playfully, "What was that again? I didn't hear you."

He grinned running his fingers through her hair, "You're diabolical, I swear."

She exhaled, "El… do you think Sam is okay in there with Mags? You think were doing the right thing punishing him and making him talk about it so fast? You think we're- "

"I don't think we're wrong for pushing him on this and I think he's gonna be just fine." He said stroking her back in a comforting motion.

She opened her mouth to ask another question when a knock at the door came, "Mom… can I come in?"

She furrowed her brow and sat up slipping out of the bed, "Yeah, baby, what's wrong?"

Sam walked slowly into the room and smiled softly feeling his mother's hand about his face, "Mags wants to talk to me." He whispered, "And, you said I couldn't take your badge."

"Right." She said softly, "So… what are you trying to ask me?"

"If I can't take your badge… can I take you or daddy?"

"How about both?" Elliot said padding softly to Sam, "We'll both go if you'd like." He assured him kneeling next to Olivia and rubbing his bicep, "We'll both help you Samuel, if you'd let us… please let me." Elliot whispered. He wanted to be a part of this, wanted Sam to allow him to be there when things were harder than normal. He wanted to be there _with_ his wife, _for_ his son.

Sam nodded his head, "Yeah, maybe I'll want both of you."

Moments later Elliot, rather excitedly considering the situation, took a seat on the couch as Sam crawled onto the center sofa cushion as Olivia sat next to him, eyeing her watch knowing one of three sleeping children should be waking up from their nap anytime.

"This is my mom," Sam said softly, "Her name is Olivia and she's very pretty and she teaches me forgiveness. This is my Dad, his name is Elliot and he teaches me to be strong."

Mags smiled up at Elliot and Olivia whom she already knew, "Sam… you know I know them… are you yankin' my chain?" She chuckled, "Are you playin' with me?"

Sam tilted his head, "They loved me… I'm not playing with you." He said softly.

Olivia and Elliot snapped their heads to look at Sam whose posture was that of a king without a kingdom. Loved. Past tense. "Honey-" Olivia began but was immediately stopped by a wave of Mag's hand.

"Sam," Mags started softly, "You said they loved you… not love, do you know you said that?"

Sam nodded his head but kept it hung, "Yeah, I know." He muttered.

"Why do you think that they don't love you anymore?" Mags asked gently as Olivia shifted to wrap her arm around his shoulders and kiss his forehead gently.

"'Cause… 'cause I did a real bad thing today." He exhaled, "I'm a bad boy now… can't make the devil go good."

Elliot moved to comfort him, to whisper something in his ear but Mags quickly motioned for him to keep quiet, "Samuel," she began again, "What did you do today that was bad?"

Sam rubbed the moisture in his eyes and shook his head, "I got super mad and I beat up Tommy."

Mags looked up at Elliot and Olivia to validate the statement. They did so and she returned to him, "What made you angry enough to hit him?"

Sam brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees, "Every day." He whispered, "Every day. All the time, every day." He murmured.

"What?" Mags prompted, "What happens everyday Sam?"

He exhaled, "He pushes me and makes fun of me and yesterday he pushed Crystal into the wall and she cried and this morning he knocked her books out of her hand and called her scar face."

"What did you do?"

"I told him to stop that it wasn't nice and then I hugged Crystal when she cried and I made her tears go away like Daddy does for Mommy and Me." He said running his hands through his hair, "Do you like my hair Mags?" he asked sadly, "It's a Mohawk, Mom gave it to me and dad likes it."

"I love it." She smiled, "It's very you." She assured him, "Sam… what happened this afternoon for you to hit Tommy?"

Sam exhaled and shook his head, "He called me… fag bait."

Mags nodded absorbing the information, "What does that mean?" she asked leading him further into confession. Sam traced shapes through his flannel pajamas and stayed quiet. "Sam… does it hurt you to talk about it?"

Sam wiped the silent tear that fell with the back of his hand and immediately crawled into Elliot's lap virtually surprising everyone in the room. Sam wrapped his arms around Elliot's neck and rested his head on his shoulder crying softly at first and then more bitterly. Elliot shifted him and his son closer to Olivia so she could stroke his back softly. She rested her head next to Sam's on Elliot's shoulder, "its okay, Handsome, we love you so much… its okay to tell us why it hurts you." She assured him.

The room was quiet enough to carry Sam's whisper into Elliot's ear as he held tight to his father, "Please don't make me say it, Daddy."

Elliot cupped the back of Sam's head and kissed the top of his shoulder, "its okay… you're such a strong boy."

Sam suddenly pushed off of his father's chest and slid off of his legs, "No more!" he screeched standing to his feet and walking several feet from his parents, "No more," he said softer, "Okay? No More?"

Mags walked to him and placed her hand on his shoulder; he quickly shrugged it off and went back to the couch, "Don't touch me." He protested climbing up and then onto his mothers lap and holding as tight as he could to her and whispering, "Tell her not to touch me, Mom."

"Sam… baby you got to tell us why these words upset you so much, so we can fix it." She told him rubbing his back gently, "Tell us baby."

Sam sniffled, "I want you to always love me, Mom. Always."

She held him tighter, "Oh, my Boy, I'll always love you, there's no doubt." She assured him, "Tell me Son, its okay."

He waited a few moments and swallowed hard before exhaling a shaky breath and speaking softly into her chest as he sat in her lap, "Grandpa says, "Get fag bait ready for the camera." And then," he stopped and continued to cry into her shoulder.

Elliot rested his hand on Sam's back and wrapped his arms around both of them as tears stained all of their cheeks, "its okay to say it, Sam." Elliot whispered, "It doesn't mean you're a bad boy."

Sam sniffled and wiped his nose against his mother's shirt to which she neither cared nor moved, "and then," Sam continued, "daddy Wilson and his fiends come and I hear cameras and… daddy calls me a faggot but… I don't understand because I didn't want to do those things with other boys," he started to sob again and buried his head into her neck, "I didn't want to." He told her again, "and some of the things… they really hurt me Mom." He hiccupped.

There are some things a mother can't kiss away, some owies that can't be fixed with the magic of her lips. Olivia has just realized this and she doesn't like it one bit. She closed her eyes blinking away tears and held him tight against her chest, "You're a beautiful boy, full of love and grace and sweetness, and me and your daddy love you so much, Samuel."

Elliot was stunned. How far, how long, with how many people was Samuel made to do such degrading acts. He wiped his eyes quickly as Hannah began to yell from the nursery, slowly he kissed the crown of Sam's head, "I love you so much, Son." He whispered and gladly removed himself before he broke in front of Sam, his mother and Mags.

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Nearly an hour later, after Isaac had streaked through the house naked in search of his father, bypassing Sam and his mother and whoever the lady was, he'd found him and promptly climbed onto the mattress.

"Hey," Elliot said softly as both Solomon and Hannah lay close to his body, "You're naked… but there's a big surprise huh?" he teased and wiped tears that seemed never ending after Samuel's confession of more pain. Elliot wanted to take his punishment away, tell him he could not only have the CD he'd been waiting for but he could have another if he'd like it. He wanted to tell Sam that if he could take all of his pain away from him and walk through it for him, if he could take all of his shame and humiliation and fear… he'd do it in a heart beat.

"Olo." Isaac frowned at Solomon, "Nana." he asked pointing to Hannah and huffing.

"Yep." Elliot grinned then frowned when Isaac wedged himself between Elliot and the babies, "Dada. Mine." He said resolutely, "No Olo. No Nana."

Elliot smiled, "There's plenty of me, son… I love you." He smiled softly, stroking Isaac's hair as he began to weep against his son. The pain Sam confessed to, the confusion he must go through, all that teasing about pink shirts Elliot had done. He felt like a jerk. Elliot stretched out his arms over his children and wept.

Isaac turned in his father's embrace and looked up into glassy eyes that were so similar to his, save Olivia's stubbornness that showed in those gorgeous specs. "Dada, Sad?" he asked softly and touched his pudgy hand to the stubble of his father's cheek.

"A little bit, yeah… I want to make you and your brother so happy, but you've both been through so much." Elliot confessed softly, "If God would let me; I'd trade my soul to let you both be happy."

Isaac locked eyes with his father and if Elliot didn't know any better, he'd swear that this two-year-old angel understood that Elliot hurt for his boys in ways no other parent could know unless they've been through it. Isaac mimicked his mother perfectly when he nuzzled his nose against his fathers and kissed his tear, "Go sweepies Dada." Isaac said gently and wrapped his arm around his father, "Nigh nigh." Elliot exhaled, tightening his embrace on Isaac and curling safely into Solomon and Hannah before trailing off to sleep next to the comfort of his children, the comfort that innocence brought.

Olivia found him asleep like that, one arm stretched protectively over their family. She trailed her fingertips over dried tear tracks and kissed them gently, "Hey." She whispered to him before kissing his lips, "I love you."

He smiled softly, "I love you."

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The decision to let Sam's punishment stand in spite of his confession and in spite of knowing why he responded the way he did, was rough on both Elliot and Olivia. She wanted Sam to realize that there is no reason to hit someone who is not actively fighting back. Elliot wanted to beat Tommy himself. But, after a lengthy conversation that employed listening tactics they'd learned in conceding, they both came to the conclusion that Sam was going to have to get a grip on his temper when it related to his abuse, because ultimately there would be words said to him by people who know nothing about his past and they will hurt but being a strong man means knowing when to fight and when to walk away.

The only exception they made was on the CD. While he still wasn't able to blatantly go and buy it for himself, it very well could show up under a certain Christmas tree that Elliot was currently setting up with Sam and a very curious Isaac who seemed irritated with two baby's in the house and now a great big tree that seemed to be getting far to much attention from the family. Attention that should have been lavished on him.

"El," Olivia grinned holding Hannah against her shoulder, "We're gonna be late for your promotion ceremony."

"This means you get to be home with us at night, Dad?" Sam asked putting one last picture ornament on the tree. The same pictured ornaments from last year, with a lot more pictures from this year. There was the day Sam got Tripod, the first day Isaac was back home, the babies and so much more.

"Sure does." Elliot grinned, "How do you feel about that?"

Sam laughed, "You should ask Hannah how she feels since she's your favorite." He teased, "She's just a girl dad."

Elliot and Olivia laughed, Isaac furrowed his brow, no one was paying enough attention to him. "Is Crystal just a girl?" Elliot teased him back.

Sam blushed, "Not fair dad."

"Alright alright." Olivia interrupted sitting on the couch, Hannah sleeping over her shoulder and a camera in one hand, "Who's putting the star on the tree?"

"My boys are." Elliot told her matter of factly as he pulled them both into his arms and stood up, "Sam's gonna put it on and Isaac's gonna tell us if it's good."

Olivia chuckled resting Hannah on the couch and taking aim with the camera, she gave the customary count and snapped the picture of Sam's grin as he felt for the proper placement as Isaac looked on laughing and Elliot simply smiled in wonderment of his family.

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"Where is he?" Sam asked anxiously as Olivia gently placed Hannah in his lap.

"He's in the front row, they'll call his name in a few minutes and then your daddy will be lieutenant instead of detective."

"Wow." Sam smiled, "Does that mean, he is in charge of you?"

Olivia laughed softly, "Honey, you're Daddy wouldn't dare take that stance with me." She teased, "He's in a different department now, and when I go back to work I'll have a different partner to work with."

"Oh." He nodded and then felt Isaac clumsily wedge himself between her and Sam and sit back for a moment before haphazardly covering Hannah's face and body with a blanket.

"Isaac." Olivia corrected him softly, "She's awake, she wants to look around while Sam holds her for me… it's hard to hold two." She told him.

He smacked his lips looking at Solomon, everywhere he turned there was a baby getting all of his attention. He reached over and promptly pulled Solomon's pacifier out of his mouth and placed it into his, the whole time keeping his mothers gaze.

Olivia narrowed her eyes playfully at him as Solomon began to fuss, she pulled it out and smiled, "I think someone is getting a little jealous." She whispered and tossed the pacifier into the diaper bag before letting Solomon latch onto her pinky finger instead. Neither Solomon nor Hannah seemed particularly obsessed with pacifiers and Olivia was just fine with that. Isaac growled and flopped back in his chair.

"A little jealous?" Sam smiled adjusting Hannah's blanket, "He's very jealous." Sam informed her, "Yesterday, I was feeding Hannah and he took the bottle from me and hid it."

Olivia raised her brow at Isaac who simply kicked his feet back and forth tugging at his tie looking for his dad as soon as his name was called to the podium.

Olivia looked on and leaned over to explain what was happening to Samuel as they took the epilates to Elliot's dress uniform and donned them with the rank of Lieutenant. He would start his new unit in robbery tomorrow. The plus? It was the robbery unit assigned to the one-six, courtesy of Captain Cragen's clout they were sure.

In a manner of minutes, after other officers gained their respective promotions, beat officers turned detectives, academy graduates turned officers, and even some retirees thrown into the mix, Elliot made his way to Olivia grinning at his family that waited anxiously for him.

"Hey!" Olivia beamed, "Congradulations El." She told him wrapping her arm around his neck and kissing him full on the mouth, smiling when she let go, "See, now that were not partners, I can kiss you like that and not care about the brass." She teased.

He laughed and turned, taking Hannah from Sam who seemed to be getting tired holding her, "How are my kids?" he asked tucking Hannah close and kissing Olivia again.

"Dada!" Isaac chimed in pulling at his slacks, "Hi!" he smirked. His fathers smirk.

Elliot squatted and picked him up as well, "Hi!"

"Excuse me Lieutenant Stabler?" a reporter smiled interrupting the conversation.

"Yes?" Elliot smiled kissing Isaac's cheek.

"Can we have a picture of you and the family… since you've gotten your son back, there haven't been any pictures… this is a happy day for the family, may I?" She asked with a disarming smile.

Elliot turned to Olivia, "It's up to you if you want his picture in the paper, we can say no."

She smiled softly, "Ganzner can't touch us."

"Sounds like you got yourself a picture." Elliot smiled, "But only if you get all of these beautiful faces in it." He said motioning to his kids. Sam, impeccably dressed in his shirt and sharpest tie tied appropriately, Isaac who, while he wore a tie, managed to have one half of his dress shirt hanging out of his pants, his tie loosened into a sloppy knot and his hair already a mess. He was perfect. Elliot lowered Isaac, wrapped his arm around Olivia as they both adjusted Solomon and Hannah while Sam and Isaac grinned at the camera in front of them. They we're perfect. Happy. On the upswing.

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Olivia had flat out lied to Elliot. She'd told him Sam didn't feel well and they had to get home. She encouraged him to mingle with the SVU crew that had come to his ceremony along with Casey and Alex and their husbands and asked if he could take a cab home to which Mac said he would simply drive him.

She drove as fast as she could safely in the snow, hurriedly fed Sam and Isaac, preparing this and that and cleaning here and there while they ate, "Mom?" Sam called over the vacuum.

"Yeah, Baby… you done?"

"Yeah… but, why are you like the wind right now?"

"The wind?"

"Yeah, so fast… why?"

Olivia grinned, "You're Daddy is gonna be home soon and I have a surprise for him, which means you and Isaac need to go to sleep."

"No nigh nigh!" Isaac called from the kitchen table as he stuffed his mouth with a fist full of mashed potatoes.

She grinned, "Oh please, I'll take you for a ride around the block and you'll be out like a school girl's secret." She teased. Isaac laughed at the attention.

"Come on boys, I still have to feed Solo and Hannah, let's roll, before Daddy gets home." She told them preparing them for bed quickly but just as lovingly as she did every night she was blessed with the opportunity. She kissed Sam softly, "How have you been, son?"

He exhaled knowing she was talking about the serious stuff, the 'Mags stuff' as he referred to it, "Okay… Mags says that she's gonna take me through special classes for boys that are very angry, so that I can get better."

"Yeah." Olivia smiled softly, "She told me that… you okay with that?"

"Dad said that was the only way that school wouldn't suspend me and I like to see Crystal and if I'm not there people will pick on her, so… I have to go to the classes with Mags." He told her before yawning. He was such his father, put some food in his belly and he was knocked out.

"Okay." She smiled and kissed him again, "I love you." She whispered tracing his cheek and smiling at Tripod who was already sound asleep against Sam's body.

"Hey, you." Olivia whispered over Isaac who was already fighting sleep, "Oh… I thought you weren't sleepy." She teased and kissed him gently, "I love you so much." She whispered, "You're such a good little boy." She told him knowing he'd been feeling a little left out lately, she'd already made arrangements for him and her to spend some alone time tomorrow and she was looking forward to it, "Snug as a bug in a rug?" she asked and smiled when she pulled back to see him already asleep, in his bed, his room, his house. Her son.

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Overwhelmed was a good word that fit Olivia right about now. She'd fed both Solomon and Hannah from the breast but for some reason neither seemed particularly hungry and her breast were painfully full. She groaned going for the pump to relieve herself of the uncomfortable feeling.

She managed to finish both tomorrows milk and another chapter of a book she'd been trying to get through but the reality was, she still needed to get things set up and that she did, setting up the living room perfectly before checking on the boys and the babies and retreating to the shower. She found herself dressed in a black skirt that she picked up while she Christmas shopped with Isaac.

Olivia was in that in between stage of her maternity clothes being far too large and her regular clothes being far too small. She slipped on a simple knit sweater rolling her eyes at her once perfectly sculpted abdomen, turned Jell-O. She grinned; she had two precious lives to show for that belly.

She finished cooking the dinner and freshened her make-up just in time to hear Mac's car pulling into the drive way and Elliot's footsteps into the front door. He walked into the darkened house and stopped, staring at the dinner table in the distance, the makeshift bed created from the couches cushions placed on the floor in front of the television. Next to a Christmas tree offering the only light in the room. Their comforter and sheets making it more familiar. Their pillows, their scent.

"Good evening Lieutenant Stabler." Olivia whispered appearing from behind him and snaking her hands around his waist.

He startled and then grinned, "Good evening Detective… Sam wasn't sick was he?"

"Nope." She smiled kissing his shoulder through his uniform as she unbuttoned it from behind, "I have your shower running right now, it's warm." She told him softly as she took his dress uniform off.

"What?"

"Go." She smiled gently and pushed him playfully into the direction of the room, "Go, relax get into some comfortable clothes, dinner is ready I just have to fix you a plate… be back soon?"

He turned and looked at her with a grin, "You cooked especially for me?"

She smiled and walked slowly to him, kissing his mouth lightly and nipping, "Lieutenant, you have no idea that things I'm gonna do for you tonight."

"Oh." He swallowed and nodded, "oh."

"Oh." She grinned trailing her finger over his crotch before stepping away, "Dinner's gonna get cold if you just stand there."

Minutes later Elliot stepped back into the kitchen in sweats and a t-shirt to see Olivia waiting patiently at the kitchen table, her elbow on the table, her chin perched on her palm, legs crossed with a smile that made his clothes tent almost instantly, "That was fast." She said softly. He wasn't sure if she was implying to the duck shower he'd taken or to his erection that was making itself known.

Pregnancy was always a great thing and if the truth be known, he wouldn't mind getting her pregnant again, but the waiting period after birth was… torture.

"I wanted to see you." He smiled extending his hand to her and helping her up, "You look so incredible." He whispered kissing her mouth.

"Must be the heels." She whispered hooking her fingers into his waistband, "Finally got back into them." She said kissing him playfully and sucking on his bottom lip before releasing him, "I made your favorite."

He grinned, "Really?"

"Yep." She smiled, "And, I got your favorite movie, I thought you might like to watch it since you always have to suffer through my selections."

He smiled in appreciation and grinned against her mouth, "You're so amazing to me."

She shrugged playfully, "There's some things a girl can't help."

He laughed softly as they sat caddy corner from one another at the table, "Liv… why did you do all of this?"

She frowned as he took a bite of the shrimp scampi, "I'm sorry." She cleared her throat, "I thought you'd like it, I thought it would be in celebration."

He grinned at her perfect misunderstanding, "I love it.. I just know that it hasn't even been a month since the babies were born… I don't want you to over do it."

She smiled, "Sometimes it's very uncomfortable," she said tracing her fingers over his thigh, "but… I really wanted to have some time with you."

He watched her, watched that look of complete desire for him wash over her face. She had to be the sexiest woman he'd ever seen in his life, and the thought that she'd went out of her way, put her comfort on the back burner to give him a night of being spoiled rotten, just made her the sexiest woman known to man. He grinned at her. That big, dopey, but on him, oh so sexy grin that only she could manage to get out of him.

Olivia touched his forearm gently and leaned into his ear, "Not only did I want to really spend some time with you this evening," she whispered moving her fingers to his palm and drawing lazy circles, causing him to whimper to which she smiled, "I'm going to make love to you tonight too." She told him before raising his fingers to her mouth and sucking softly on one and releasing it once he groaned.

As if she didn't completely just seduce him, she scooted her seat up to the table, "Eat up, food's getting cold."

He tried to get a grip on himself, smiling up at his wife who playfully stabbed a shrimp with her fork and slowly inserted it into her mouth.

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"You know what's sad?" Elliot asked as Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie discussed the basics in stealing cars on the television.

"Her hair color in this movie?" Olivia chuckled, snuggling closer to him on the makeshift bed.

"No," he smiled running his hand through her silky hair, "What's sad is that these couch cushions are actually more comfortable on the floor then on the couch."

She laughed, tangling her feet with his and slipping her hand under his t-shirt. She was surprised that he was actually letting her draw this night out, that he was actually going to watch the movie and let her initiate everything. For a split second she thought he may not want her body this soon after giving birth but occasionally, she would 'accidentally' graze his crotch and know the contrary.

It was during one such grazing that she let her hand rest a little longer than normal and then withdrew snuggling deeper into the comforter and her husband. He groaned, "You're going to torture me aren't you?"

"Yep."

"I didn't write this in any fantasy… unless you've got something you're not telling me yet." He whispered unconcerned with the movie.

"Who said this was your fantasy? Maybe this is just me, wanting to let you know that I appreciate how much you've been working around the house and I'm really proud that you got promoted."

"So," he said with a smirk, "in appreciation of all of that… you're going to torture me, by laying this close to me? And don't think I didn't notice that you used that bath wash I like, or that perfume that makes me want you in an instant… I swear if you're wearing a garter belt, Liv, I think I'll pass out from this."

She chuckled into his chest, "I seem to remember you being pretty relentless to me awhile back… practically making me beg."

"You're gonna make me beg?" he asked with raised brows.

"No… just gonna make you wait till the end of this movie," she smiled.

He moved quickly, reached for the DVD remote and skipped to the last chapter, pushing play and grinning as the credits rolled.

"Stupid DVD's." Olivia blushed looking up at him, "You want me bad enough to forsake the movie, huh?"

"Yeah." He told her anxiously, "Yeah I want you bad enough."

She beamed, "You get anything interesting out of the Kama Sutra?"

"Yeah." He shook his head almost like a little kid. He wanted her and the questions and foreplay were driving him right up the wall.

"Tell me." She whispered pushing his shirt up and licking the ridge of his abdomen muscles, "Tell me what you found."

He took in air and arched back, "Um… uh, the lotus or locust or low-rider or whatever it is- Liv, your tongue is my death."

She smiled up at him in sheer deviousness and carefully maneuvered herself over his body, "The lotus? That all you got?"

He arched his brow, "You up for something else?"

She bit her lip and grinned, "I saw this one called the Superhero's delight, but it's not in the Kama Sutra." She murmured taking his nipple into her mouth and raking her fingernails over his sides, down his hip and thigh before going back up.

He shuddered and sat up, quickly taking his shirt off and smiling as he quickly helped her out of her skirt feeling the fabric pass through his hands as it flowed over glorious thighs and eventually was discarded so that she was next to him in her panties and sweater, "You said you wanted Kama Sutra the first time after the babies were born, so I looked through it… I want the lotus." He whispered, "But I'll give you whatever you want, Liv… just say it." He whispered framing her face and taking her into a kiss that had her whimpering before she knew what had happened.

Her hands on his shoulders, his tangling into her hair and bringing her harder against his mouth. He wanted her, wanted to meld with her, wanted her to be inside of him and him inside her.

She pulled back, breathless, and offered a sly smile, "I want the lotus… but, you just got me really hot." She said matter of factly, "Probably a good idea to get rid of some of these clothes, don't you think?"

He grinned and gently pulled her sweater up, hiding his disappointment that she was wearing a white tee underneath. He wanted to caress her, kiss her and taste her skin. He took his wife back in his arms and playfully nipped at her collar bone kissing her neck only to be surprised when she pulled away and pushed him gently back onto the mound of pillows, "This is suppose to be your night." She whispered out of breath, "I want you to know how much I appreciate you."

He smiled tugging at her panties as she straddled him. He almost died right there when she moved her body in ways she'd never had, with a confidence and daring attitude that almost made him loose control and come in his clothes right there. He pulled at her panties, she leaned back on her hands, lifted her hips allowing him to slide them off to her thighs as she watched him watch his discovery. And as if that wasn't enough to do him in, she rested her bottom on his forming erection and kept her hands behind her, bringing one knee up to her chest as he pulled the panties beyond her ankle.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as she kept her bottom snug to his length, her knee bent, offering him a peek of her freshly shaven body. She smiled devilishly and repeated the process with her other knee until her legs were sprawled eagle for his viewing pleasure, "Oh." He squeaked and tried to clear his throat, "Wow." he whispered sitting up and bringing her close to him, "Let me kiss you."

"No." She grinned.

"Why?"

"Because, I said." She told him playfully and pushed him back down to the pillows before leaning over him and coming close enough to his lips to make his head rise in anticipation. She smirked and moved just as his lips were about to touch hers. She traced his body with her tongue, down the sculpture of his torso before following the taught circle of his belly button and gently pressing just below it with her thumb. He groaned, his hand covering hers instantly and applying more pressure, "Wow… I didn't think that actually worked." She chuckled.

He panted still holding her hand firmly, "Works."

She gave him a cocky smile that he wasn't sure he'd seen from her, at least not when it came to this, "You're so easy." She teased and slowly pulled at his sweats and boxers, taking them down slowly, as he rose up for her, groaning as the fabric slowly rubbed over his erection, "Liv… killing me." He panted.

"No." she whispered pulling them further down and kissing the tip of his length to which he jumped, "Just appreciating you." She assured him and finally removed the clothing. He shuddered at the sudden change in temperature; she smiled and simply pulled the comforter up over her hips as she continued to straddle him.

"Let me kiss you."

"No." she told him again choosing to hold back whatever it was he asked for, for the soul purpose of torturing him. Payback was glorious.

He reached for the hem of her t-shirt and was almost startled when she grabbed his wrist with ruthless speed, "Don't. Please don't." she said quickly. Her confidence momentarily shaken.

He watched her for a moment, watched her eyes dart anywhere but to his, he tilted her face to look at him, "You're so beautiful."

She turned away momentarily before returning to his gaze, "I just… uh, this pregnancy did weird things to my body… please let me keep my shirt on."

He smiled softly and rose up to kiss her breast through her shirt, "No problem here." He assured her and tucked his legs Indian style under her body as he helped her up and then back down to allow his legs to cradle her bottom, "You're beautiful with or without clothes," he assured her, caressing her bare bottom in his hands and bringing her closer to his throbbing erection. She wrapped her legs around his waist and groaned as he purposefully slid over her heat, "Like that, Liv?" he whispered biting her shoulder gently. Her moan her only reply.

She rocked her hips back, angled them just enough to feel his tip rest at her entrance and then, in an instant, everything changed between the two. He pushed gently into her, holding her bottom in his hands then sliding his arm around her waist so that his hand was on the opposite side of her waist, his other hand cupping the back of her head and pulling her close.

She groaned wrapping one arm under his bicep and hooking her hand on his shoulder, her other arm supporting his neck with the line of her forearm as her hand hung limply on the crown of his head. In one precious moment, something that she didn't even recognize as needing to be broken, shattered within her. As he rocked back and then gently invaded her again, she exhaled a breath she never knew she was holding.

He heard it. Heard something he'd never heard within it and pulled back to look at her, he kissed her cheek tenderly, "How long, Liv?" he whispered against her cheek.

"How long for what?" she panted trying to get him to move again.

He traced her lips with his fingertip, trailing a line over her cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear, "How long have you been holding that breath?"

She locked her gaze with his, surprised to feel tears make their way into her eyes, "I think… all of my life." She whispered softly and simply went back to him, her hand caressing the hair that tickled her palm, her chest against his as he thrust almost imperceptibly into her body. There was something about the way he was holding her, something about the way he was excruciatingly gentle with her that obliterated her, annihilated her in a way she never thought imaginable and she couldn't have been more grateful, more appreciative or in love with him then she was in that moment when she felt every chain that bound her suddenly break free. Every fear and insecurity suddenly paled and crumbled to ash. Every anxiety faded to black. Every fantasy was suddenly crystal clear and every desire suddenly bold and flowering.

This was supposed to be a night for him and he'd managed to give her a night to remember as well. They rocked gently against one another, no words or desires expressed, just the simple act of pleasuring and being pleasured in a way that they hadn't quite mastered before.

She pulled back gently, rested her forehead against his and looked between their bodies as he thrust. This man so delicately in tune with her from day one, so insanely in love with her that it terrified her before it comforted her. He'd _chosen_ her, _pursued_ her and _desired_ her in ways she never thought a man would or could.

She watched him thrust gently in and then out once more and she understood what he meant when he said he felt the earth pass through his fingertips when he made love to her. She felt, as he moved within her, that she cradled that same earth within her soul.

"Wait." She panted pulling back to look at him. She covered his lips when he was about to inquire as to what was wrong. She lowered her hands crossing them in front of her body and pulled her tee over her head, casting the shirt to the side and reaching behind her to unclasp her bra. She watched the full smile cascade over his lips as she revealed her breast to him and leaned against him, meshing her body with his, his hands gripping her waist in satisfaction of skin on skin contact.

"You look amazing." He whispered cupping her head again as she leaned into his neck and rubbed her hips over him matching his soft thrusts with her own until she felt that beautiful sensation that only having her husband tucked safely between her thighs could bring. She shuddered, held on tighter, as his thrust elongated but stayed just as languid rocking them both against one another.

Olivia ran her free hand along the length of his arm and twined her fingers with his, felt him squeeze her palm and tuck both of their hands between their chests as they moved together in sweet silence, until he gently pushed her off the edge and watched her sail gracefully back down to her body clutching his with an intensity he hadn't experienced from her before.

He thrust into her again and she dug her nails into his back, scraping the flesh of his shoulder as she rolled her head back, eyes shut tight against the feeling of her lover bringing her to climax.

Seeing her come, seeing her break in a way, far more than just a sexual climax could offer, brought forth a gasp from him and a sudden whimper into her breast as he rested his head there and struggled to find his breath, find his bearings in what just happened.

She brought her head up, kissed the crown of his as he rested against her chest, her legs still tight around his body as she ran her fingertips up and down his spine comforting him, "I'm sorry" she whispered gently and kissed his temple.

"For what?" he asked eyeing her as he panted.

"I made you bleed." She told him softly and grazed the wounds her fingernails caused.

He hissed and shook his head, "Its okay." He assured her, "Liv… I don't know what just happened."

"Either do I." She told him honestly and ran her fingertips along his jaw, "But… that was the most incredible experience of my life. I have no words to tell you what you just made me feel… what you just gave me."

"You felt it then?" he asked resting his forehead against hers, "Please tell me you felt that, Olivia and that I'm not on my own right now."

She smiled, kissed the corner of his mouth before turning him to meet her lips, "I felt it." She assured him sipping softly from his bottom lip and sliding her tongue across the threshold of his lips, he was still inside of her, still willing to move, to provide her with anything she wanted, but her kiss was his ultimate destruction.

He tore away from her mouth, pushed down on her bottom and groaned taking in a pitched breath and coming in a way she'd never experience from him, his voice tight and almost distressed for air, his hands about her thighs digging deep enough that she let out a small yelp before muffling his crying release with her mouth, least there be two little boys wanting to know what all the ruckus was.

She kissed him passionately; felt him still trying to move within her, he shuddered, his hips thrusting involuntarily and erratically against her smiling body until he had absolutely nothing left to offer her except the plain of his chest to rest against.

He pulled the comforter tighter around them as they cooled her legs still around him, her body still over him as he slipped from her warmth. Her small whimper of protest as she fought sleep.

"Olivia." He whispered into her ear, "I love you so much."

She grinned sleepily, "I know you do… and I love you with everything I have." She told him and gently removed herself, opting to stretch next to him and tangle her legs with his, "We need to get back in bed in case the boys wake up." She whispered into his chest as her fingers absently walked his abdomen.

"No." He murmured holding her tight, "No, I just want to hold you, right now. Let me do that, let me hold you." He whispered wrapping his arms around her naked flesh and kissing her forehead gently, "That was so amazing." He whispered, his words still coated in a sense of awe.

"You're amazing." She whispered before finally succumbing to sleep.

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"Mom?" Sam flared his nostrils picking her scent out easily along with his fathers. He felt around with his feet, confused as to why his parents were sleeping on the floor of the living room, "Mom, are you okay?" he whispered softly and then kneeled to assess how she was laying.

"MaMa!" Isaac squealed happily, "Wakies!"

Olivia lazily opened one eye, the other hidden in the softness of the pillow. She felt Elliot's hand tighten reflexively around her waist, his sleeping breath hitting her neck. And in one horribly embarrassing moment she realized she and Elliot had slept through the night after being too exhausted from their love making to go back to the room.

They were naked.

In the living room.

Their son's hovering over them.

_Uh oh_.

She jerked up and immediately pulled the sheet around her as Isaac laughed and plopped himself onto her thighs, "Mama!" He grinned catching the curious handprint on her breast before she could completely cover herself, "What this?" He asked trying to pull the sheet back down and take a gander.

Elliot finally managed to come into reality, his face just as horrified as his wife's as he scrambled to keep himself protected.

"Did you wet the bed dad?" Sam asked not understanding why on earth they would sleep in the living room on the floor, and as he felt around he was eve more confused, "I thought the couch cushions weren't allowed on the floor, Mom?" Sam said, "Why didn't you sleep on the folding bed?"

"Sam," she croaked, fighting to keep the sheet covering herself as Isaac fought with her to see the handprint, "Stop baby." She told Isaac softly before readdressing Sam, "Honey," she rubbed her eye and ran her hand through her hair, "What, why are you up? It's barely daylight."

"Isaac had to pee…he's being stubborn and wont sit on the toilet, he wants to stand and go, but-Mom, he really is a bad shot."

"Wee wee." Isaac grinned framing his mother's face and kissing her lips before trying to pull the sheet down again, "What this?" he asked more forcefully.

"Leave your mother alone Isaac." Elliot told him gently, "She's tired."

"You don't feel so well, Mom?"

_Oh, Perfect cover._

"No, I'm don't. I think I got too hot and it was a little cooler in the living room so your father slept with me here."

Sam caught her off guard and wrapped his arms around her to comfort her, but when his hands touched the bare skin of her back he pulled away quickly and frowned, "Why don't you have clothes on?"

She groaned inwardly as Elliot played along, "Oh, Liv… why _are_ you naked?"

She arched her brows, her eyes going wide with shock, horror and embarrassment all at once until Elliot chimed back in once he was confident he'd achieved his goal, "Oh, that's right, Hannah spit up on you… I forgot." He smiled devilishly and kissed the curve of her neck, "Sam, why don't you go help Isaac get ready for his day with Mom… it's gonna be you and me, taming the babies."

Sam groaned, "You mean, I'll have Solomon and you'll be stuck to Hannah."

Olivia smiled still holding the sheet to ensure her modesty, "Sam, she's the only girl… of course she's gonna have your father wrapped around her little finger."

Elliot protested immediately only to be silenced by three people looking in his direction, Sam's head tilted in curiosity, "Okay, I give up… Hannah's got me whipped."

Sam laughed, "I'll help Isaac and then we'll eat and then you can go have fun."

"Thank you Baby." Olivia whispered, rising up and kissing his cheek before whispering, "Shh, don't tell anyone, but… you've got me wrapped around your little finger too."

Sam grinned, "Isaac too?"

"And Solomon." She smiled and leaned back into Elliot as they ventured off to get ready.

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The day with Isaac had been relaxing, although there was the phone call from Elliot asking where the Ipod transmitter was because he couldn't get Samuel to stop crying. It seemed that the music and the readings she and Elliot played through her belly when the babies were kicking Olivia mercilessly were also capable of lulling Solomon and Hannah to sleep when they were at their fussiest. She'd left Elliot with enough milk to get him through her time away, and Sam actually seemed excited to be at home, with his father, taking care of two babies.

Isaac's first Happy Meal. At least the first Happy Meal she was aware he'd ever had. Olivia laughed as Isaac sloppily plopped a chicken nugget into sauce and then proceeded to draw on the table with said nugget, "No, Son." She grinned, taking the nugget and then looking around quickly, "You got to make big circles." She told him with a smile and proceeded to draw in sweet and sour sauce on the table.

After his hands were well coated with food, he went straight for his hair, and Olivia couldn't care less. This was his time, to be the little boy that he wasn't able to be, locked away in some dungeon, with a woman he didn't now, and a man who was psycho. This was his time to explore, to laugh and have fun. This was her time with him, without the babies, without Elliot or Sam although all of them were the center of her world, she just wanted some one on one time with Isaac, her first born ripped from his crib as he slept… as she vacationed. She continued to watch him, his long blond hair curling at the shoulders, his father's eyes, although a shade brighter, shown brightly, and that smile, he was a compact Elliot and she couldn't be more proud to have this little boy in her life.

She continued to observe him, as he ate with his left hand and for a split second she did a quick mental list, no one in Elliot's family is a lefty, no one in hers is either; and then it dawned on her.

Her father could be left handed.

Immediately, she pushed the thought aside and slid in closer to him, "I love you." She grinned and then laughed when sauced covered hands cupped her face, his forehead leaning against hers.

"Love eww." He grinned and squealed in delight, "Ada?" he asked pointing to a black car as it past the window. Casey drove a black car and by extension he associated Addison with Casey.

"Want to see Addison?"

He laughed and slapped his palms on the table, "Ada!"

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"Hey!" Casey beamed opening the door and then being taken aback when Isaac bolted into the house and down the hall.

"Ada!" he squeaked and then laughed when Paul scooped him up.

"Hey, you… you want to see Addison?" Paul asked kissing him softly on the crown of his head. His lips lingered, a motion that Olivia was all too aware of, as if with each kiss hello and goodbye Paul was apologizing, for something he didn't have to be sorry about, "Let's go!" Paul said brightly as he nodded to Olivia and followed Isaac into the bedroom to play with Addison.

"Wow… he's certainly excited about Addison." Casey chuckled.

"Yeah, we were eating and he asked for him, that's when I called you."

"Water?"

"Please." Olivia grinned catching a bottle as Casey tossed it to her, "How is Addy?"

"He's ten months and cruising the couches… I'm dreading when he finally starts walking." Casey groaned, "he's already out maneuvering me."

Olivia laughed as she sat on the couch, "Don't dread the walking… dread the streaking!"

"Isaac's still streaking?" Casey asked in surprise.

"Not as much… but I think that's because it's December… but yeah, he's a streaker. He's gonna be a rebel Case, I can feel it." Olivia told her in dread.

"How are the babies?"

"Ah," Olivia grinned tilting her head back, "Solomon has the cutest little feet, and Hannah, well… she's got her father suckered real good."

"Only little girl in the family… you can't tell me you didn't see that one coming."

"Oh I saw it." Olivia laughed, "The first time he held her, he was doomed to a life of servitude to his little girl…. And uh… who says the next one wont be a girl?" she grinned.

"Geeze, another one?" Casey shook her head, "You're crazy, Paul and I… I think we're good with Addison right now… maybe one more in the future, but I don't know how you're even alive with two babies and a two-year-old and Sam… I just… I couldn't do it."

"Well, first of all, believe me when I tell you, the next one isn't coming anytime soon… I want to enjoy my kids right now, and honestly… I feel really overwhelmed, today was my first day away for more than two hours and I still went to a counseling session. I love my kids; I love Elliot, but… I'm overwhelmed, and the only thing that is keeping me alive is the fact that I have an amazing husband and nine-year-old to help me out." Olivia told her, taking another sip of her water and sighing.

"So," Casey grinned leaning forward, "after I had Addison, Paul and I had some pretty amazing sex… you having amazing sex?"

"Casey!" Olivia blushed and widened her eyes then gave in, "Yep… last night actually."

Casey laughed, "I guess I shouldn't have thought a little thing like an episiotomy should have deterred you?"

Olivia rolled her eyes, "It was excruciating the first week, uncomfortable the second, but last night… Casey, it was perfect."

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"I give up!" Elliot laughed tapping the hardwood floor as Sam bent and manipulated his wrist, "I give."

"Say it!" Sam chuckled.

"Uncle."

"No… say Hannah." Sam teased.

Elliot laughed, "Hannah! Hannah!" he said tapping the floor as the doorbell rang. Sam released him and laughed as Elliot stood up, his knees popping as he walked to the door and opened it. Confusion setting in seeing Isaac in Casey's arms.

"What happened?" He panicked immediately, "Where's Olivia?"

Sam stepped close to his father, "Who is it Dad? Is mom okay?"

"She's fine." Casey assured him, "And it's your coolest aunt on the planet, I might add."

"Alex is here?" Sam teased with waggled brows and Casey handed Elliot Isaac, "Oh… look who suddenly got a hold of dry humor." She said hugging him and kissing his head, "How ya doing?"

"Good… where's my mom?" he asked softly, "Can't you hear Dad's voice? He's nervous, where is she?"

Casey turned her focus to Elliot, "She stopped by a few hours ago, and she got a phone call, something came up, she asked me to bring Isaac home."

Eliot furrowed her brow, "Where is she?"

Casey stammered, "Um, the precinct."

"What-why?"

"Cragen called her in."

"She's on maternity leave."

"There was a case."

"Why didn't she call?"

"Hey- I'm just the messenger." Casey told him feeling cornered, "Now, if you don't mind, I've got a good looking husband and fantastic kid to get home too." She smiled and then, the phone rang. She waited.

He sprinted to the phone least the ringing wake the babies, "Stabler's this is Elliot." He said in irritation of the situation, "Liv? Where are you?... why?... No, no, I'll come right now, but… the car seats are in the SUV and you have the SUV… I'll figure it out… okay, I'll be right there, keep the heater on.. bye."

"Problem?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, hey Case… I know you really want to get home but Olivia had a blow out on the country road and she's stuck in the snow… please, can you watch the babies? I'll be an hour at the most, and there's still two milks in the-"

"Go! It's cold out there." Casey smiled.

"Okay, come on Sam."

"What? No!" Casey said suddenly.

Sam turned his head to her voice and Elliot eyed her, "What?"

"I mean… uh… two babies… that's a lot even for someone as perfect as me." She teased, "I'll need a strong man like Sam to help me out."

"I'll stay." Sam said excitedly, "I can show her the tree. Mom said the lights are so pretty on it."

Elliot smiled and ran his hand over Sam's hair, "Alright, you keep your aunt in line, and just say no to any talk of law school."

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The SUV was sitting in the most precarious of situations, its rear bumper on the shoulder, the front bumper ten, maybe fifteen feet away from the beginning of the asphalt. He parked the mustang close, taking note that the SUV was on, she must have been using the heater to keep warm, but where was she? Why were there no skid marks? Why did it seem as if she simply parked the vehicle in this manner?

He exhaled, shoving his hands into his pockets, all kinds of crazy things happened to cars in the snow, he wasn't gonna start worry about it now, but as he got closer to the vehicle his observation of it alarmed him enough to sprint back to the mustang and retrieve a civilian issued berretta from under the seat.

In spite of the cold, he was already sweating, the steel of the gun hot in his palm as he approached the vehicle. What had alarmed him? It was simple, she called him on the house line, a big no no when the babies were asleep, and she'd told him she had a blow out. The problem?

All four tires were in pristine condition.

"Liv?" he called calmly, raising the weapon in front of him and opening the driver's door, "Liv? Baby, you okay?" he asked, cautiously gazing through the areas he could see.

"El?" her voice came from the storage space in the back.

"Liv?" he was panicked, "Honey, why are you back there? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine." She assured him, "Um… ego's a little bruised right now." She chuckled, "I tried to get the spare tire thingy out of here and the hatch came down… it won't open." She informed him, "A little help, please?"

He laughed leaning on the drivers seat, "I have a question?"

"I'm stuck." She reminded him. Something misplaced in her voice.

"Why did you need the spare tire thingy when not one of the four tires is flat? I'm sitting here with a gun. I could have shot you."

"Don't be so dramatic." She teased him, calling to him over the seats, "I already changed the tire, 'cause you move about the speed of a damn snail, I had to keep warm… now, can you please shut the drivers door and come and rescue me? I mean really… this whole damsel in distress thing is a little new to me, but I'm pretty sure the prince is supposed to move a little faster."

He laughed, engaged the safety and tucked the gun under the seat before reaching over and hitting the hatch release in the glove compartment and closing the door. He made his way around the vehicle. She watched him from inside and immediately pulled the hood over her head smiling just as the hatch was raised and he started to speak, "I don't see how a grown woman gets locked-" he stopped immediately at looked at her. A hood covering her hair and draping down over her face, a trench coat wrapped tightly around her body. Heels.

His first instinct was that she must have gotten cold and put anything she could find in the car, on, but when he noticed a folded blanket with a condom strategically placed on top, pillows propped up where the seat was folded down and her dark smile, he knew that his wife was indeed up to no good.

"Liv." His voiced squeaked, "You… uh…. You okay?" She rose up on her knees and smiled grabbing him by his jacket and pulling him in.

"Come on. Shut the door… you're letting the heat out." She smiled and watched him stare at her as he clumsily crawled into the back storage compartment of the vehicle and lowered the hatch, "Good… we fit, and have room."

He swallowed, "Room? For what?" he asked, his eyes darting to her lips, her breast, the knot of the trench coat belt, the hood that still kept her a mystery.

She smiled at him and pushed his jacket off of his shoulders, "Your fantasy."

He arched his brow, her touch hypnotizing him instantly, "Um… I never said… uh… I never… car sex wasn't in my box." He finally managed.

"No, it wasn't." she grinned, "But," she reached into the trench coat, just over her breast and for a moment, Elliot thought she was naked underneath, but was surprised just the same when she pulled out a small piece of paper, "you asked for me to wear a black wig."

He grinned, "I liked your black hair."

"I'm not wearing a wig for you El." She told him softly, and smiled at his frown. She pulled the hood of the trench coat down revealing her hair, it was the same cut she had when he saw her this morning but now, it was as dark as the day he first met her.

He stared at her, "Oh… so… so that's um, that's… Olivia, you look so sexy right now."

She grinned, "Stop talking."

"But, I want you to know it."

She grabbed his hand and brought it to the knot of her jacket, "And I want you to take this jacket off of my body… it's getting too warm in here for me."

He smiled, "Can we do this? It's a tight fit."

She rolled her eyes, "I adjusted the seat and it gave us room… I'm sure we can find a position, now are you interested or should I drive home?"

"No!" he told her quickly, and pulled at the belt, "You keep that cute little butt of yo-" he stopped instantly when he opened the trench coat. A growl of appreciation of what he was seeing, Olivia in nothing but a garter belt and camisole. Heels.

"You gave me an idea last night." She said with a coy smile, "You think I don't hear the things you say?" she whispered cupping him softly through his pants and kissing him without caution or poise but simply grinding her lips into his before tearing away, "But," she panted feeling his breath against hers, "I hear everything". She told him, "I hear you moan my name in your sleep." She said nipping at his jaw as she unbuckled his belt, "I hear you whimper every time I do this," she whispered dipping her hand into his pants. He whimpered involuntarily, "Yeah, like that." She said sipping softly on his bottom lip.

"Car seats?"

She pulled away, "What?"

"The car seats? How will we get the k-"

"You really pick the most inopportune times to think of stuff… shut up." She told him, slipping his pants to his hips.

"I'll take them off."

"No." she shook her head, "Keep them on."

He grinned, "Really?"

"I don't know what happened that night on the couch, but I have to tell you… seeing your body want me and seeing you still in your clothes was a turn on."

He smirked, "You're so easy."

"When it comes to you… I never said I wasn't." She teased and dipped her hand into his boxers, massaging him firmly. He gasped at her touch and she muffled his shock with her tongue stroking his. His hands found their way to her sides and he was in heaven. He's not sure what he did to deserve two days in a row of her coming on to him, but he'll take it.

He moved to take her camisole off to which she stopped him, "Just push it up." She panted.

"What?"

"I want our clothes on… I read that it adds urgency."

He nodded, thrilled that she was suddenly throwing all rules and regulations out the window, trying more than just different positions and techniques but generally trying to please him in different ways, when he least expected it, "Ok." He whispered tangling his hand in the back of her dark hair, just seeing her with dark hair again, feeling it flow through his hand almost made him loose control right there. He groaned into her kiss, reaching for a pillow and laying it behind her before laying her softly down, "Are you comfortable?" he asked not sure of the small space.

She grinned, "Yeah… but I swear if you keep talking."

He examined her body hungrily, she was loosing weight, but her stomach wasn't tight like it use to be and secretly, he loved the new sensation of her belly against his. Of course, he'd never tell her that. He reached to undo the garter belt, "No." she panted, "Just like this." She breathed, reaching up and unbuttoning his shirt, "Just like this."

He nodded, more than happy to have her in control, at least verbally, "I take it you had a good session with Vivian?"

She groaned in frustration with all the taking, "Yeah… just… will you please stop talking?"

"I want to know what you talked about."

"After." She told him wrapping her legs around the back of his thighs, causing him to fall on her, catching his weight on his forearms just as she rubbed her hand over his erection, "I swear, Elliot, if you keep talking… I'll handle this myself."

He grinned, considering the idea to which she gave a gentle squeeze to his length and smiled when he quickly moaned into her neck, "Oh, Liv… don-"

"Stop. Talking." She told him firmly framing his face, "Make love to me… I want to feel you just like this." She told him, "Do whatever you want… just, make me scream."

He raised his brow, his lips falling into a perfect 'O', he nodded, adjusted his pants for a little more freedom and kissed her breast gently, his scruffy chin grazing her flesh. He felt her hands grip the flesh of his butt and pull him up. She wanted him, was desperate for him and it was a complete turn on, he held the base of her head in the palm of his hand before resting his hand in the pillow, "Are you ready?" he whispered kissing her mouth softly.

She reached her hand up and grasped his bicep as she reached between them with her other hand dipping into her heat and bringing her finger to trace his lips. She felt his erection twitch against her leg as he sucked her finger seductively. She slowly pulled her finger form his mouth when he shivered.

"Cold?" she whispered up at him.

He nodded.

She maneuvered under his bicep, retrieved the condom and blanket and draped the blanket over them before holding the condom up to him, "What's a girl got to do, to incorporate her own fantasy into her husbands?"

"You really like those don't you?" he smirked.

"Did you think I was kidding when I asked if they sold them in bulk?"

He was so turned on by his wife, the hair, the garter belt, making love with their clothes on, and her scent that he may just die right there, "Please," he panted pulling her up, unconcerned that the blanket shifted off of his back, "Liv… that thing with your mouth."

She grinned and locked eyes with him as she opened the condom and as per his request positioned her self to roll it on with her mouth. She felt him grip her back, felt his entire body moan at the sensation and before she could look up at him, he'd taken her quickly back to the pillow, barely giving her time to adjust the blanket before ravishing her mouth.

She gripped the muscles of his back, moaned in sheer pleasure of his mouth over hers. He rocked his hips back and then forward pushing into her with ease and satisfaction that only she could bring him. She gasped tearing away from his mouth, the close quarters that caused her to keep her knees drawn up also made her feel much more full. Combine that with Elliot and the condom and she was already smiling. She panted, digging her fingers into his arms as he moved. The clothes did their job, provided them with a sense of urgency a since of wonderment as she moved her hands roughly over his skin producing heat. Not than anymore needed to be produced, she could see the windows steam and it just added to her pleasure.

In spite of the cold they were sticky with sweat as he moved over her. His hands everywhere, she could feel it, feel him throwing caution to the wind as the vehicle's suspension gave way to his thrusting, to their pleasure. He was still gentle with her, but more aggressive than normal and if she had to tell the truth, she was enjoying every minute of it. They both chuckled hearing a car go by, blaring it's horn. The movement of the vehicle making what was going on inside, obvious.

She didn't care, she was enjoying herself… until, his hands gripped her waist and arched her hips up as he thrust, "Ahh!" she winced immediately covering his hands with hers, "Please," she panted, "Please-El, I'm not ready for that."

He stopped immediately, "I'm sorry… you said… whatever I-"

"I know." She breathed hard not wanting to ruin this for them, "I just… I'm still working on it."

He nodded and gave her a smile. Somehow, just knowing she was working on that, that she wanted to overcome it, was enough to make him want her even more. He cradled her entire body as he moved within her, the fabric of the garter belt caressing his body as she tightened her legs over the back of his thighs, one hand grabbing the globe his butt, the other bracing her palm on his chest feeling his heart beat, as she moved under him with his thrust, her breast swaying for his delight as his pubic bone ground down against hers.

He withdrew one of his hands from her back and reached between them stroking her as he thrust faster into her, "Come Baby." He grunted over her as her exhalations of air became shrieks of mounting pressure. Pleasure.

With the vehicle rocking to Elliot's rhythm, her hand digging into his chest and butt, her legs tight against him, he picked her up suddenly, and covered her with his thrusting body, the sweat of her hair producing random art in the window as he held her against the paneling.

She struggled for breath as he kissed her, her cheeks poofing out before she could find her bearing to return his kiss with equal energy. She tore away, as the pressure in her body grew, the feeling of cool upholstery on her back, Elliot's sweaty body thrusting into her, the softness of the blanket lightly covering her ankles.

She held onto him as he grunted, thrusting into her and roughly grazing her center with his finger, she broke, her head falling back sharply as she produced the most primal yell of release he'd ever heard, a groan of appreciation as he continued to move only to produce a rapid succession of more shrieks to which she freely let go in the privacy of the countryside. Her body gripped his and he shuddered against her, her name groaning from his lips before turning into a gentle prayer and returning her sweaty body to the pillow and tucking the blanket around them both, his leg draped over hers as they spooned in the small area.

She turned around in his embrace, kissed his mouth as she reached over and opened the hatch, "Go."

"What?" he furrowed his brow, "No, I want to stay with you."

She grinned, quickly wrapped the jacket over her and kissed him again as she crawled over his body and stepped out of the SUV. She broke the kiss and pulled him out of the storage area muffling his protest with her kiss as she led him back to the mustang, zipping and buckling his pants as he shivered in the cold.

"Liv-"

She cut him off again, kissing him full on the mouth, her tongue trailing over his teeth as she buttoned one button and reached behind him, opening the mustang door. She broke away and held his gaze, "I love you." She whispered and pushed him down into the cars seat before she kissed him on the corner of his mouth, grazed his crotch again smiled before walking away and back into the car.

He stared at her, the confidence in her walk as she nonchalantly shoved her hands in her jacket pocket, as if she didn't have an incredibly crazy encounter with her husband in her car, as if she wasn't half naked under that jacket. Elliot groaned feeling the makings of another erection. He started the car and followed his wife home.

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"So," Casey grinned, "How was the flat?"

Olivia laughed, "Thanks for helping me set him up, Case…. Are they asleep?"

"Every last one of them." She grinned, "I'd hug you but… uh," she motioned to Olivia's attire, "well, that would just be weird."

"Shut up… go, he's gonna be here any second." Olivia grinned and walked Casey to the door, "Thanks again Casey."

"Hey I'm no fool… you're much happier when you're getting some." She teased and quickly trotted down the porch, "I put the car seats in the house!"

"Thank you!"

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Elliot panted turning to his side, "I can't believe you're not even out of breath."

She grinned and draped the back of her thighs over his hips so her bottom grazed his tired length, the heels of her feet teasing the flesh of his butt, "You did all the work… I just sat back."

He reached out to her and took her hand as they lay naked in the form of a 'T', "You're pretty frisky all of a sudden."

She laughed rubbing his hand with her thumb, "I just wanted you."

"You almost killed me last night, and I'm pretty sure you were trying to kill me in the car… it was… really great Liv."

She grinned, blushing, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"There was no flat was there?"

"Nope."

"You drug Casey into it didn't you?"

She smirked, "Like I was Lucy and she was Ethyl."

He rolled closer to her, letting her feet fall from his hips and tangle with his feet, "I love you." He smiled kissing her hip bone and and trailing his fingers over the scar that bore his children. He kissed her tenderly and made his way up to her mouth, stopping at the top of her breast at the scar Sam had given her. It wasn't going go away like she'd hoped it would and he knew it bothered her, her entire torso was a landmine of scars but the most important one was gone and he would spend the rest of his life kissing the others away.

He kissed the scar gently, felt her fingers walk his neck before pulling him away gently, "I want to show you something." She whispered.

He grinned, peering down at her body, "It can't be more amazing than what I'm already seeing."

She smiled softly and kissed him before sliding up to her side of the bed and reaching into her nightstand, retrieving an envelope he'd been wondering if he would ever get the chance to see again. She curled up next to him and pulled the comforter over their cooling flesh, "Take it." She encouraged him softly as she handed it to him, "It's that homework assignment we did for Liv, that I…" her voice trailed off in shame.

He cupped the back of her neck and kissed her mouth gently, soothing her tear with his thumb as he pulled away, "I understand why you couldn't."

She nodded softly, "Open it."

"Read it to me." He grinned, "I had to read you mine… please read it to me?"

She smirked and opened the letter clearing her throat in nervousness, "Um… huh… so this is awkward." She chirped.

"Now you know how I felt." He laughed and kissed her shoulder. She read to him softly as she rested one hand on his abdomen tracing the ridges of his muscles, her lips and words offering a soothing balm to wounds she knew she caused him that night, wounds she wished she could take back but knew she couldn't. She told him what it felt like to have him make love to her, how she only felt completely safe when he was resting within her, how she felt alive when he spent time with her. She read him things she'd never told him, confessed to feelings she'd never admit to anyone else. Confess to healing, love, intimacy and the restoration he brought her.

"El?" she whispered against his chest as he held her.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still want to know what Vivian and I talked about today?"

"If your comfortable with it." He told her honestly.

She pulled back in his embrace and locked her gaze onto his, "I need… see, I want to… um, well it's just that… she and I have been talking for the last several sessions I've had and I…" she groaned and covered her face, "Oh, this is humiliating."

He smirked and brought her hand from her face, kissing the back of it, "Tell me."

She exhaled, "When I told you… that I was… working on 'it', I… I meant it." She whispered, "I want you to make love to me, the way you want… that's what we've been talking about."

He softly raised his brows, "Is that why you've been a little blue again?"

She nodded softly, "I'm… um… really nervous about it, uh… the last time we tried-"

He covered her lips softly, "I'll go at your pace…I'll be as soft as you want… I won't touch you that way until you ask me to."

She nodded softly and exhaled, "I don't know why it bothers me, it's just that one position. I mean… normally I love your hands on my waist, but… not thrusting at the same time. Does that make since to you?"

"Yeah."

"Good." She whispered sadly, "'Cause it doesn't make sense to me."

He smiled in compassion, "What did she suggest for us to do?"

"Can you wait until I'm ready to try it?" she asked unsure of herself.

"Absolutely." He whispered.

"Can you… what if I freak out again?" she asked with furrowed brows, "Can we handle that? Can you handle that?"

"I can." He assured her, "And so can we and you and I will beat this too… it's so amazing that you're even wanting to think about trying it… your growing so much Liv."

She smirked, "I'm not really the same Olivia you met am I?"

"No." he exhaled, "The other one was so stubborn and hard hearted… she hated the world, but loved the victim it produced, she was unsure of herself and masked it with skill and professionalism, but you… you're still in love with the victim and you're changing day by day… that's sexy Liv."

She closed her eyes, a soft smile playing on her lips as she absorbed his words. His lips covered hers gently before pulling away, "What did she say Liv?"

She exhaled, "That, it should be where we both feel safe, and that I should try one thing at a time, like… your hands on my hips in the position, but without us actually making love."

"I can do that." He assured her.

"She said-this is embarrassing-but she said that we might try sex furniture at first."

"I can do that too." He told her softly, knowing she was uncomfortable with the topic already, "I'll do anything to get you over this."

"You have to promise me something." She whispered resting her head on his chest and pulling herself to him as close as possible.

"Anything. It's done."

She swallowed and wiped at a nervous tear, "You have to promise me, that… if it's too much for me… you'll stop when I ask."

He furrowed his brow, slightly shocked, "Liv… have I ever not stopped?"

"No." She said quickly, "But… I just need to hear you say it… for this specific thing… I need to hear you say it, before I even think about it."

He nestled his lips to her ear, "I'd rather die before I hurt you like that… of course I'll stop, all you have to do is ask. Do you want to set up some sort of signal? Will that help you?"

She held onto him tighter, "El… I don't want to talk about this anymore, is that okay?"

He stroked her hair softly, "I'm here whenever you do want to talk about it."

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Three days later Olivia grinned walking into the boys' room; she leaned over Isaac and gently stroked his back, "Wake up Monkey." She whispered kissing his cheek, "Wake up, Honey."

Isaac opened his eyes, clicked his tongue and closed them again as he reached out and took hold of her hand, "Wake up Son." She repeated and grinned as he sat up sleepily and started to fuss immediately. She kissed his cheek and stroked his hair, "Wow… you kept your boxers on… and no wetting… amazing little monkey aren't you." She smiled and took him into her lap, "Merry Christmas." She whispered. Her son's first Christmas at home where he should be.

Isaac yawned in his mother's arms as if he'd never been away from her, he looked up at her and giggled touching her glasses, "Oh… you think I'm old or what?" she teased lowering his hand and kissing him again, "I love you."

"Love eww Mama." He replied and promptly wiggled out of her arms, "Dada?"

"Couch." She told him softly, "Hurry."

"Wee wee." He smiled running down the hall, "Dada… wee wee!"

Olivia grinned at a very tired dog and sleeping Sam. Elliot had taken Sam and Isaac shopping on Christmas Eve, because, in typical male fashion, Elliot had left his shopping to the last minute whereas Olivia had completed hers the day she spent with Isaac. The same day she made love to her husband in the SUV.

"Hey, handsome." Olivia whispered in Sam's ear only to hear a very pissed off Tripod take a stance against her, "Shut it!" Olivia snapped her fingers and gently shoed him away, "Get a move on, grumpy."

Sam rolled over to face the sound of her voice, still tired, "Cold." He muttered.

"How is it," Olivia whispered, "that your brother sleeps in his boxers and doesn't so much as get Goosebumps… you on the other hand are a popsicle."

"He's weird." Sam smiled, "But… I like him."

Olivia grinned, "He likes you a lot too… did you notice?"

"Yeah." Sam exhaled, "I need to go back to sleep."

"Are you forgetting something?" She asked in surprise.

"No." he yawned and pulled the covers tight.

She whispered in his ear, "Merry Christmas sweetheart."

He grinned and sat up, "I forgot!"

"Yeah ya did… dad must have worn you out. You didn't get home until after ten."

She watched him, surprised by his sudden shift in facial features, from happy to awe in a spilt second, "Mom… we have a tree, and I learned Jingle Bells… and it smells happy… I never had a Christmas." He told her slipping out of his bed and sloppily pulling the covers back, "We can have chocolate and have a snow ball fight like Crystal talks about and we can… are there presents?" he grinned.

Olivia laughed, "Of course there are, Santa came last night."

Sam laughed shaking his head "Mom… I don't believe in Santa, he's not real."

She beamed, "Good… I'm glad you don't believe… I didn't want to have to break it to you."

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Elliot rested Hannah in Olivia's arms and sat as closely to her as possible, Solomon protectively in his own arms, "Merry Christmas." He whispered kissing her cheek.

She grinned, "Best Christmas I've ever had… you, me, our kids." She whispered kissing Hannah's forehead as she adjusted Hannah to her breast, "They're almost a month."

"She's all you Liv." Elliot whispered as Isaac and Sam waited anxiously to open their presents, "I love her." She whispered, "Maybe it's different that she's the only girl… That she and I will do certain things that the boys and I can't, but… she's so amazing to me… in different ways than the boys are."

"Sounds like she's got you wrapped around her finger too." Elliot smiled and then laughed when Isaac slammed into the couch with a box in hand a grin on his face.

"I think he wants to open presents now." Olivia giggled adjusting Hannah who still, at times, gave Liv problems latching on.

"Yeah" Sam chimed in, "Let's roll!"

Olivia watched her family as Elliot rested a sleeping Solomon next to her on the couch. She watched Elliot help Isaac unwrap his first present and for a moment she wondered what Adrianne had done for his first Christmas, if she was able to do anything at all. She pushed the thought away and watched Isaac grin at his new Leap Frog. He laughed slapping the box and turning to his father, "Dada! Look it!"

Elliot smiled, looking at Olivia as he kissed Isaac's head, "I see." He whispered pulling him into his lap and rocking him softly. His son was home for his first Christmas. His son was home, opening his presents in his arms. "I see."

"Dad!" Sam grinned, "Can I open something?"

Olivia nodded with a smile and watched as Elliot passed a small gift to him, "You're mom picked this up for you."

Sam opened it immediately and felt about the plastic item, "What is it? Mom-tell me, hurry."

She laughed, "Rephrase it Buster."

Sam grinned, "Pleeeeaaassse?"

"It's a CD… Genius Loves Company."

Sam laughed to himself and plopped himself on his back, crossing his ankles, "Too cool."

Laughter was all that was exchanged as Elliot chased the boys around the house with new toys, tackling Sam gently only to have Isaac jump on his back, "No Dada! No Hurt Sam Sam!"

Olivia laughed holding her daughter, her hand caressing the belly of her son who lay close. She laughed and she smiled and shed a few tears. She was with her family. They were on the upswing.

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"Merry Christmas." Elliot whispered kissing Olivia's neck as he snaked his arms around her waist.

"Merry Christmas." She grinned turning from the babies crib to face him, "I love you."

"I love you too… I got you something."

She chuckled, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He whispered.

"Where is it?" she grinned at his empty hands.

"You've past it three or four times and didn't' even notice it detective."

She looked around the room, "I don't understand."

"Your standing on it." He whispered watching as she looked down at her own foot prints painted on the floor, "I got up in the middle of the night to feed Solomon and… it hit me, what I wanted to write, what I wanted the kids to know about you."

She stared down, "Damn, I wish I wore my glasses in here."

He chuckled and tapped to the glasses resting on her head.

She rolled her eyes and adjusted them to her eyes, "Oh." She whispered looking down and then back at him again, "Um… wow… thank you." She whispered pulling him into a kiss and moaning softly against his lips, "Thank you so much."

He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead, "Okay… I really got you something else though."

She laughed as he led her out of the nursery and back to the tree, "Open it." He whispered handing her a small gift wrapped impeccably.

"What is it?" she grinned.

"Open it and see." He urged her, "I remembered a long time ago, I think it was our third date, I asked you what you do outside of work, to pass the time and-"

"I said read." She whispered taking the lid off of the box and looking down at the book, "I told you my favorite book was Alice in Wonderland, but I'd never actually read it-"

"Because your mom said it was childish." He finished for her and opened the cover of the book in the box, "It's the first edition of Alice in Wonderland… difficult to find, believe me… I didn't think it was gonna find it in time."

She sniffled, "Wow… this uh… this makes my gift look shabby." She smiled, "Thank you, this… that you remembered a fleeting remark… I-this is perfect, thank you." She whispered kissing the corner of his mouth.

"You're welcome." He smiled against her and held her, not surprised when she cried softly into his shoulder. He didn't have to ask, he knew they were happy tears, and he was glad to hear them.

"Oh!" she pulled away quickly with a smile and wiped her eyes, "Okay… want yours?"

He grinned, "Yeah, let me put a bow on you and I'll be in to unwrap."

"Elliot!" she laughed and playfully swatted him before retreating to grab his gift, "I know how much you like the classic, black and white photography, so a few months ago, I had something done for you."

"A few months ago?" He grinned, "I thought you finished shopping with Isaac?"

"For the kids… I had to do your present when the timing was right." She smiled and shrugged, "You married a sneaky woman."

"No joke." He grinned taking the present in his hands and sitting to open it. "Liv… I'm sorry to tell you this… but your wrapping still hasn't improved."

She laughed, "Just be careful theres two wrapped as one… I wasn't gonna wrap two things." She grinned.

"I'm sure I'll love them, especially if they're black and whites."

"They are. You've got to make me a promise though." She chuckled.

"What?" he asked, sliding his finger under the lip of the paper and tearing it open.

"One of them… stays in our bedroom… no where else."

He arched his brow, "Ohhh, sounds interesting already." He arched his brow at the framed picture in front of him; she'd taken the time out to have the frame matched to the pictures already hanging in their room. And there she was, a contrast of shadow and light within the confines of matting and frame, her most intimate features covered with careful placement of crossed legs and a strategically placed arm, her pregnant form her highlighted and softened at the same time, her bashful smile as her face looked away from the camera's lens. "You're gorgeous, Liv." He whispered running his fingers over the picture of her body.

She grinned and helped him with the second frame, "It's the picture we took at your promotion, it's our family portrait since your anit portrait studio." She chuckled kissing him on his cheek.

He grinned, "The studio pictures feel fake… you're so beautiful here." He said softly lifting the picture of her, "How far along were you?"

"Six months… I didn't want to give you the Shamoo version, but I wanted it to be obvious… I caught you starring at me a lot… you thought I was asleep, but I spent hours watching you watch me." She whispered touching his face, "You covered my belly with your hands and told them bed time stories, you kissed them and held them… and I watched you… and I fell in love with you all over again, every time."

He blushed, "You're so amazingly beautiful when you're pregnant."

She kissed the corner of his mouth, "And you're amazing."

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"This place is a mess." Olivia laughed crumpling wrapping paper and shoving it into a plastic bag.

"You didn't go through the mail?" Elliot asked, taking a sip of egg nogg.

"No, I put it on the counter last night… I wanted to get things ready for their first Christmas." She told him, "Anything interesting?"

"Casey's standard Christmas card, I don't know how she gets them to come exactly on Christmas Eve."

"She's a procrastinator El… believe me it's not calculated." Olivia laughed, "Sam and Isaac?"

"Dead to the world." He muttered flipping through the mail and separating it, "Hannah and Solomon?"

"Fed, clothed and back to sleep, but Hannah's running a fever."

"Uggh, really?" he groaned, "Remember when Isaac got sick? We didn't sleep."

"We haven't slept for a month… good for them to get sick now rather than later." She told him tossing more debris into her sac.

Elliot stared down at the card in front of him not able to place the return address or figure out why names were left off the envelope. The handwriting wasn't familiar. He opened it careful to watch Olivia as she moved about the living room. He opened the stereotypical Christmas card and frowned when he opened it. No writing, no message save a newspaper clipping that sailed out of the card and onto the ground.

Elliot bent low and picked it up. He let his weight fall, taking him completely to the ground as he gasped. He was so stuck on the clipping he hadn't heard his wife walk in, "El?" she frowned at his pale face and wide eyes, "El… what is it?"


	39. Chapter 39 Zeus and Pox

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 39 Zeus and Pox

"I can't believe there was that much snow," Alex laughed, feeling Robert hold her from behind as they crossed the threshold of their home.

"I think the snow is beautiful," he whispered into her neck. "Not as beautiful as you, but it's nice."

She laughed and turned in his embrace, "I need to tell you something."

"Let me guess," he smiled and kissed her playfully as he untied the knot to her jacket and simply pushed it off of her shoulders letting it drop to the floor, "you want to tell me to undress you in the foyer and carry you to our couch and make love to you?"

She grinned at him and boldly cast her knit sweater from her body, "No. I want you to take the _rest_ of my clothes off and let me _ride you_ to our _bedroom_."

His brows arched to his hairline, "Really?" he grinned.

She shrugged, "Or I could just walk."

"No!" he said quipped, pulling her back to him. He moved frantically dropping his pants and boxers to the floor, tripping as he tried to step out of them.

She caught him as his body pushed her into the counter. She pushed him back softly, "Shoes," she told him quickly and pushed his jacket off, letting it fall next to hers, "hurry."

He toed them off as she pulled his shirt over his head and quickly pushed him into the wall. He groaned as her bra covered breast meshed into his chest, "Al," he moaned, "Al, I want you baby, I do," he panted before taking her into an open mouth kiss, his tongue seeking hers out as he groaned against her, "I want you so bad." He murmured grinding his hips into her, "But why the rush? We have all night, and all morning," he whispered, making an effort to slow things down. To savor her.

She pulled back to look at him, saw the smile of his face and nipped at his lip, "I thought we finally agreed, we'd try for another baby?"

He laughed, "Yeah, I'm ready… you?"

She grinned at him and pulled him in for another kiss, "Get me out of these clothes, Robert."

He nodded, panting and unbuckling her pants. He kissed her fast and hot as he started slidding the pants and her panties down, she toed out of her shoes and stepped out of her pants, "I think.. you owe me a ride, Mr. Gray."

He smirked, stepped his naked body to hers and sighed feeling her against his body. His fingers digging into her flesh as he pulled her closer to him, felt her slide over his shaft, "Merry Christmas Al," he whispered, lifting one of her legs and pushing softly into her.

He commanded his body not to come the instant he buried himself within her. Instead, he calmed himself, kissed her in an effort to smoothen out his heartbeat. When he was confident he could carry on, he helped her secure her leg around him. He thrust into her, a grin on his face as she let her head fall back, her hands griped his neck as she brought her other leg around his waist.

She rolled her head back to him, let her hair caress his chest as she kissed him softly," I love you," she whispered, trying to ride him but having no leverage to do so.

He grinned and helped her slowly move over him, "I love you too, Al," he moaned into her shoulder before bending low to partake of her breast.

She hissed and palmed his chest, "Bed-the bed, now."

He turned and leaned her into the wall, "I want you right here." He groaned pushing him self deeper into her.

She yelped, he head falling back, a small thud against the wall, "Robert… I hate… on the wall," she groaned.

"Then why the smile?" he teased moving almost completely out before invading her again.

She panted, looked down at him from her position and kissed him hungrily, using one foot to push off of the wall, "Bed."

He hissed feeling her move over him as he walked her to the bedroom, and just when he thought he might loose control and call it an early night, he reached the bed, laid her gently down as he kept himself buried inside of her, "Sex with you, is so amazing, Al," he whispered, "I love making love to you."

She grinned, crab walked to the top of the bed and rested comfortably as he began to thrust slowly in long strides. His belly against hers, his forming sweat combining with her own, "Robert?" she breathed.

"Mmm?" he moaned feeling him self slide into her. Glorious.

"Is this safe?"

He stopped almost instantly and furrowed his brow, kissed her lips gently, "What?"

"This," she repeated, motioning to their joined bodies.

He grinned, "It's a great calorie burner… I'd say it's safe."

She searched his face and smiled as she framed his cheeks, "But… is it safe… for the baby?"

He stared at her in shock, "I think this is the best way to get you pregnant."

She kissed his mouth softly before looking at him, "I already am."

His face softened in awe, "What?" he smiled, "What? You're pregnant?"

She grinned, "Yeah… I found out three days ago."

He furrowed his brows looking at her, "You're pregnant with our baby." He whispered and kissed her mouth through a grin, "Oh my goodness, Al… we're pregnant."

She chuckled, thrust her hips softly into his, "Yeah, we are."

He closed his eyes, smiled softly and moved within her with a slow intensity they'd never experienced before, soft and gentle instead of their typical playful and boisterous sex. He brought her into ecstasy, watched her head fall back and her lips part as she panted frantically for oxygen.

He marveled as her body slowly calmed, and she continued to pulse around him. He caressed her flesh, tenderly and though he thought he couldn't be any more aroused then he already was, the very though of making love to her and knowing she was carrying his child, sent him over the edge in a matter of a few short thrust.

He caught his weight on his forearms before he let the rest of his body rest over hers, "We're gonna be parents," he whispered to her.

She stroked his back with her fingernails and kissed his shoulder, "I know… thank you, for giving me another chance."

He pulled back and looked at her, kissed the tear track that ran freely from her eye, "Thank you for _wanting_ another chance."

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Olivia kneeled next to her husband, rubbed his back soothingly as his body convulsed over the toilet, his eggnog and Christmas cookies making them selves known again. She would have to clean the puddle of vomit that was in the kitchen, the one he produced when she attempted to help him up on shaky legs. She'd never seen it before, never seen her husband drop like a ton of bricks, his face go as pale as Casey and his body's only reaction was to vomit.

It was a simple picture of them at his promotion ceremony, it wasn't the one she'd framed for his present but it was the one taken immediately after; roughly the same pose except Sam had a suspicious look on his face and was practically digging his hand into Olivia's thigh. The reporter had taken several shots just in case the first didn't turn out. At least that was the reason the reporter gave them, anyway.

It wasn't just the fact that the picture was of them, in an unsigned card, in a penmanship neither recognized. It was the signature it bore that had Elliot heaving again as she reached for a towel and handed it to him, just as he had done for her so many times before, "Elliot… it'll be okay."

"How-how can he know?" he panted over the toilet, his eyes watering from the stress of his body, "How?"

"It's got to be some sort of prank, El," she assured him, "I'm not worried about it… we know what's real and what's not. We know what happened that day, and what happened that day, means that this clipping-the signature can't be true," She told him softly and framed his face to look at her, unconcerned with his breath, "we're on the upswing, remember?"

He smiled softly and nodded, "Yeah."

She furrowed her brow and chuckled, "Wow… you need a mint."

He laughed wiping his mouth with the towel as she stood and helped him up, "You're too kind."

She grinned, prepared his toothbrush for him and handed it to him, "It's probably some freak-of-the-week, that saw you got promoted and wanted to rattle you… everything that's happened with us is all a matter of public record, El… it's someone we probably put away and they're trying to wreck our first Christmas as a family."

He smiled through a circle of toothpaste foam and touched her chin gently, "You've gotten your confidence back."

She grinned, "I have."

He smiled, still tired from the expulsion of food, but pulled her close and held her, "Good."

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Three days later, Elliot was still glad that she was confident because he was anything but. However, he couldn't help but push that all aside as he watched Isaac play in the snow for the first time since he'd come home. Sure, he'd fiddled with it here and there, but today was his first bonafide snowball fight and his mother was already teaching him the tricks of the trade as she helped him form a snow ball.

"Me and Sam are gonna slaughter you two," Elliot laughed as Sam formed one snowball after another.

"Come on Dad, she's a girl… we can't get beat by a girl!" he told him as he hid behind a mound of snow Elliot formed for him.

Quickly, Elliot checked on Solomon and Hannah who were happily sleeping in the playpen just inside the house the monitor near by. He walked out and ducked just in time to miss Olivia's perfectly launched snowball hit the sliding glass door behind him and burst into powder.

"Ah man!" she whined, "that one had your name on it!"

"Oh," he shook his head laughing, and ran to where Sam was waiting behind the mound, "Your dead!" Elliot yelled to her as he skidded next to Sam, "What do we got?"

"Eight." Sam told him matter of factly, "I'm working on another one though… watch her Dad, she's sneaky."

"Yeah," Elliot agreed, "no joke."

"Less talk! More snowballs!" Olivia yelled from her own mound, "Come on boys! You're not scared of your Mom and little brother are you?"

Elliot chuckled, "She's trying to get us to pop up."

"I'll pop up." Sam told him.

"You? Why you?" Elliot asked as another snowball flew over their heads, slamming into the shed, "Oh man… that could of hurt."

"I'll take the hit," Sam said calmly

"Why?"

Sam laughed, "Duh! I can't see to hit her! We need to distract her! And besides… she won't hit me hard. I love her and I got her wrapped around my finger." And with that he stood up exposing himself.

Elliot grinned, peeking around the mound to see Olivia pull her throwing arm all the way back in hopes of it being Elliot, only to immediately soften when she saw Sam. She gave him fare warning, "At your chest baby," she said, and gently lobbed the snowball, giving it a gentle squeeze on release so it wasn't firmly packed when it hit him.

Sam feigned death well, holding his heart and making gurgling sounds as he walked out into the no-mans-land. Olivia watched him in humor as Isaac lobed his own snow ball which landed only a foot from him. He still laughed in delight and covered his face with chubby hands giggling up at his smiling mother.

Elliot pounced at her distraction, holding snowballs in one arm as he ran out and simultaneously began to launch them at her.

"Ahhh!" She laughed scooping up Isaac, "Retreat! Call for back up!"

"You're gone Benson!" Elliot laughed as she playfully dove with Isaac behind the mound. Him laughing into her chest.

"Hold on, while I nail Daddy," she grinned, picked up a snowball and blindly threw it as if she were a soldier tossing a grenade. It may as well had the same impact because when all she heard was Elliot whimper and moan she stood immediately and gasped seeing him holding himself though his pants and slowly fall to his knees.

"Oh no!" she ran to him quickly with Isaac hot on her heels.

"Wait me Mama!" he laughed.

"El! I'm so sorry!" she said, running to him. Just as she was in the possess of falling to her knees, she saw, in her abject horror, Elliot and Sam simultaneously grin and began to launch snowballs at her.

"Left, Sam. Left!" Elliot coached.

"Ahh! Cheaters!" she laughed, "Isaac! Help!" she called as he ran his little body up to his father, fearless, and kicked him square in the gut.

"No! Dada mean!"

Elliot dropped his snowball in shock and a little pain. Definitely his mother's son, "Isaac," Elliot moaned, shaking his head.

"Oh, son," Olivia tried to sound concerned, but the fact was that having her two-year-old son try to protect her from his snowball launching father, was simply too endearing. What almost made her cry in complete love for her son was when he kept his pudgy finger pointed at Elliot and backed up to her as if he were her shield, "No Dada!"

Elliot grinned, "I'm not hurting Mommy, son."

Isaac furrowed his brow and looked back to his mother for guidance, "I'm okay," she told him with a smile as she placed a little snow in his hand, "Now…" she said, suddenly launching a snowball at Elliot, "get Daddy!" she laughed as two-on-two suddenly became three-on-one.

"Sam! You traitor!" Elliot laughed, shielding his face as his family eventually ended up on top of him, Olivia directly over him, his son's about his legs.

"I have to play for the winning team, Dad." Sam chuckled, sitting on his legs as Isaac climbed onto his knees, their mother straddling their father's hips.

"Hi," she grinned.

"Hi," he laughed, "seems my partner went over to the dark side."

"He knows what's good for him," she smiled, and leaned down to kiss him.

Sam smacked his forehead and groaned hearing his mother's appreciative moan, "Come on Isaac, this is starting to sound gross."

But, before he could leave, Elliot suddenly tore away from her lips and hissed, "No!"

She pulled back sharply, "El?"

He sat up as she adjusted her body beside him, "What is that?" he asked, cocking his head to one side, "Where's Tri?"

"He's barking at the gate," Sam told him and slowly stood, "he sounds angry, like when Isaac wakes him up."

Elliot stood and helped Olivia stand and then immediately looked through the sliding glass door, "The Babies!" he yelped and sprinted into the house, stumbling on the snow covered steps before throwing the sliding door open to reveal… two sleeping babies.

"El?" Olivia caught up, "what is it?"

Elliot swallowed, "I thought I heard something."

Before she could respond, they both heard the knock at the door and she exhaled rubbing his shoulders, "Baby, it's just someone at the door, I'll get it."

"No!" Elliot snapped and quickly softened seeing her start, "No… um, why don't you make the boys some chocolate and I'll get it."

She pulled him by the arm to face her. He'd been so paranoid since that Christmas card. He hadn't slept and tossed and turned throughout the nights subsequently keeping her wide awake as well, "Elliot, it's just the door."

"No," he shook his head. "I'll get it," he whispered, and kissed her forehead. "Go… spend time with the boys."

She smiled softly, and gathered the boys close as he answered the door, "Alright… wet clothes off, lets go."

Isaac laughed, "Off!"

"Yeah, yeah, naked. Off," she rolled her eyes and led them to their room. It was just as she was helping Isaac into his fresh boxers that she heard the unmistakable sound of an extremely angry Elliot loosing his temper and then a boom as if something was thrown against the house.

"In bed, lets go… quick!" she told them, "Mommy will be back," she assured them and bolted down the hall, throwing the front door open as another boom was produced.

"ELLIOT!" she shrieked, as he yelled, pinning a stranger against the wall. The Christmas letter being forced into the man's mouth.

"You sent it! You sent it didn't you!" Elliot yelled slamming him again and punching him in the ribs, "eat your words!" he barked angrily and shoved the card deeper into the gagging man's mouth.

"Elliot!" she yelled stepping between the two, her back to Elliot as she put her weight against him to separate his hold, "Stop!" she pleaded, and finally managed to pry his fingers off of the mans clothing.

The man gasped as Olivia held her husband at bay, "What's going on?" she demanded, searching Elliot's face and coming up with anger, frustration and perhaps, dare she say, fear.

"She's dead!" the man gasped out.

"What?" Olivia turned around to face him, keeping her back to Elliot's chest least he try to pounce.

The man massaged his throat, "His mother," he groaned wiping the drool from his lips.

She turned to Elliot, "El? What's going on? What's he talking about?"

"He sent the card," he told her and then yelled over her shoulder, "I'll kill you, you sorry piece of sh-"

"Elliot!" she framed his face firmly and made sure he locked his gaze with hers, "El," she whispered, "tell me what's going on."

"_I'll_ tell you," the man swallowed, finally able to stand completely and fix his tie, "I came here to try and tell Samuel that his mother kicked the bucket, and this idiot attacks me!"

She was about to nail the guy just as much as Elliot was, instead, she furrowed her brows, "What did you say?"

"I said, this idi-"

"No, the other part," Olivia said, "The part about _my_ son… what did you say?"

The man shook his head and exhaled, "I'm his uncle."

Infuriated, Elliot sidestepped his wife and decked the man dropping him to his knees, "Then you should have been there for him!" he yelled, trying to pick him up only to have Olivia break them apart again and stay in the middle.

"Stop it now!" she ordered, looked at both men and settled on the stranger, "What do you want? You're not taking my son do you understand me? I'll kill you myself before you touch him." she said evenly.

"Look, I don't want the kid… I don't even _know_ the brat but, apparently just about everyone else in the family has a restraining order against them and can't be near him… they asked me to tell Sam that his mother has died."

"No she didn't," Sam's voice suddenly broke the tension. "I just played in the snow with her and my brother." He said softly and cautiously made his way past the man whose scent he didn't recognize, past his fathers jeans he didn't' want before finally grabbing onto Olivia's jacket. "How can you say she's dead, when you're talking to her? You're not a smart man if you think dead people talk," Sam said softly.

"Not her," the uncle said incredulously. "Geeze, you really are a dense little mutt aren't you? You're _real_ mother, my sister, she died… there, now ya know!" he said, shrugging and attempting to walk away.

"You sonovabitch!" Elliot snarled and grabbed him by the back of his jacket, launching him down the porch steps.

"Inside, baby," Olivia told him quickly.

"But-"

"Now!" she said firmly and watched him go into the safety of their home.

She trotted quickly down the steps as Elliot forced the man against his own car and punched him repeatedly, "Elliot! Stop!" she barked, pulling his arm back before he could strike again. She pushed Elliot away and pointed at the stranger, "Get out of here, before he kills you."

"I didn't write that damn card!" he barked, "You both are off your nuts!"

"Get out of here!" she yelled, trying to hold Elliot back again.

The man placed one foot into the car and then the other, resting his extended arm on the armrest of the car, "You know… Samuel has been a bastard since he was born. You won't change that creep, and you're certainly _not_ his mother," he taunted.

Olivia walked to him calmly and moved quicker than Elliot was aware she could. She grabbed his arm held it to the frame of the car and forcefully slammed the door against it, just hard enough to get her point across as he screeched in pain. She opened the door, smiled softly, and let him have his forearm back, "Looks like you should go get that looked at… get out of here. NOW!" she snapped and slammed the door.

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"You could have killed him," she said softly, as she cleaned his knuckles. "You can't settle everything with your fist, El."

"You're right," he exhaled, and offered a small smirk, "I should try car doors next time."

She chuckled smoothing out a Band-aid, "He said I wasn't his mother… kind of pissed me off."

"Kind of?" he smiled softy and exhaled. "He in his room?"

"I went in to talk to him… he's not talking," she exhaled. "I hate that he always feels like he can't talk when things are really hard. How are we going to get him over that?"

"I don't know," he said honestly, "but, I think I set a really bad example for him and I have to tell you… I feel really ashamed for that."

She exhaled, "I don't know how much he heard."

Elliot scrubbed his hand over his face, "This guy that came by… he told me the funeral was tomorrow."

She eyed him carefully, "What are you saying?"

"Liv," he whispered, "He has a right-"

She stood up from the bed and dug her finger into her chest, "_I'm_ his mother!"

"Liv," he said softly as he stood, "baby, no one is saying you're not-"

"He can't go to her funeral!" she hissed, "He's just a little boy."

"Olivia… he's nine. He's gonna remember that some man came to the house one day, and told us something about his biological mother… do you really want this to come back and bite us if we don't at least give him the option."

She looked away, pressed her lips together in an effort not to cry, "I'm… his mother. Not her. She hasn't changed his bedding when he wets, or cut his hair, or traced his scars while he sleeps or-"

_Traced his scar?. I didn't know you did that. _

She licked her lips and continued, "She didn't hold him when he was sicker than a dog and throwing up through the night, or scared to death of a man outside of his window.. I did that El! I did! Sam is my son!"

Elliot smiled softly and cupped her cheek gently, "He is," he whispered, "he's your son in the way every boy _should_ be to a mother, but, Liv… she created him-" she pulled her face away from his caress and he simply took it back into his hands, "Liv… that doesn't make her the mother, it just makes her the producer… Sam calls you mom, remember that."

"El," she shook her head and bowed it.

He tipped her chin up and it finally dawned on him what she was really warring with, "Liv… even if he decides he wants to go… that doesn't mean he won't still think of you as his mother."

She exhaled and leaned into his chest, "You can't promise me that."

"Yes I can," he chuckled, "believe me. When you were pelting us with those snowballs… he made it very well known that he loves you."

She grinned and pulled back, "Really?"

"Yeah," he laughed. "He definitely loves you… had enough trust in you that you weren't gonna nail him when he stood up. He says he's got you tied around his finger."

She chuckled wiping her eyes, "Yeah… no question there."

"Look," he smiled gently and rubbed her shoulders, "hear that? That's one hungry Solomon crying from the living room. What do you say we go feed him… let you and Sam relax and then we'll tackle this, huh?"

She exhaled, smiled weakly, and kissed his lips, "What would I do without you?"

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"I'm sorry I missed Christmas again, son," he whispered. "It's not really the same without you and your mom… you know?"

Mac exhaled in the cool of the day and stared down at the headstone, "You keeping an eye on your mother up there?" he asked softly. "Remember, you've got to keep an eye on her, make sure she's always smiling… you always made her smile."

He shifted his gaze to the headstone immediately next to his son's, "You remember when you told me you were pregnant, honey?" he chuckled, "We were stuck in traffic and I asked you to tell me something to get my mind off of it… you sure got my mind off of the traffic." He laughed dully and slowly came to his knees, resting his head against the cool of his wife's headstone, "I'm so lonely without you… I didn't get a tree this Christmas," he confessed, "The Stablers invited me over… I told them I was busy… they're good people though, I think you would have liked them," he whispered and broke, "I want you back so bad."

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Casey rolled her eyes at Paul's selection, "Come on… cartoons?"

"Hey… this is not a cartoon, it's an animated movie!" he grinned, sitting next to her with Addison on her lap.

"Paul," she laughed resting her head against his shoulder and then speaking softer, "I don't think I thanked you for Christmas… it was really amazing."

He laughed, "I don't know that sitting in front of a fire all night is considered amazing."

She arched her neck and kissed the corner of his mouth, tilted his chin so she could engage him completely. His tongue caressed hers as she moaned against him and pulled back for fear of getting to carried away while their son was so near, not that he was paying attention, he seemed to focused on Nemo, "I got to spend the whole night in your arms… that's pretty amazing to me," she whispered.

He smirked, kissed her again, "You're very easy to please you know that?"

She grinned, "I crave you… you know that? Like an addiction… a habit… so yeah, when I can have you all to myself, in front of a fire… and make love to you in the middle of the night on our floor… I'm pretty easy to please."

He laughed and was just about to suggest they try out the floor again, minus the rug burn he'd given her, when Addison let out a happy laugh and pointed to the television, "Tooooonnns," he drawled out.

Casey and Paul looked down at him in shock. His first word.

"What?" Casey shook her head in disbelief, "What did you say Addy?"

He looked at her, then at his father and back to the television, "Tooooonnns!"

Casey laughed and then growled.

"What?" Paul grinned, kissing his son, "What's with the growl?"

She smiled at him, "Paul… our son's first word… is toons… you've got to stop watching cartoons so much," she laughed, slapping his chest and looking down at Addison, "his first word… wow… he's gonna be in law school before we know it."

"Law school?" he furrowed his brow, "Sorry, Case… it's the science lab for him."

"Yeah, over my dead body," she grinned.

He laughed and teased her in return, "Turn our son into a lawyer and we might have a deal."

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"Ahh!" Olivia groaned in pain, "Geeze, enough already," she said as Solomon ate frantically from her breast.

"He bite you?"

"I don't think he's biting… I think, he just latches down and nails me," she explained. "He does it all the time… I think it's planned," she chuckled, "But, I'm learning him… I think he does it just before he's ready to fall asleep or when he's about ready to finish… either way you look at it, his jaw tenses… I wasn't paying attention that time," she rolled her eyes. "It really hurts, when he does it."

Elliot waggled his brows at her and sat next to her, "I could… uh… massage said area if you'd like."

She laughed, "No… I think it would just create a mess."

"Dang," he snapped his fingers playfully and then looked down at his feeding son, "Wow… he went to sleep."

"See, I told you… he clamps down on me, and then goes to sleep. It's like his way of signing off or something," she grinned, stroking his hair. "El… he looks so much like you."

"No, don't say that," he laughed. "We want good looking kids Olivia."

She leaned into him and kissed him, "We have good looking kids… and they happen to look like their daddy."

He blushed, "Give me my boy and I'll put him down… want to talk to Sam?"

"Yeah," she nodded positioning herself back into her clothing as he left with their son, "El?" she called him back quickly.

"Yeah?"

"What about Hannah? Is she awake?"

"Nope… I think the medicine for her fever is helping… did you notice Isaac felt a little hot today too?"

"Yeah," she exhaled, "and I hate to break it to you… but Solomon felt a little warm against me too."

Elliot groaned, "There's no way they could all three be sick… is there?"

"With Isaac it's hard to tell, he gets warm so easy… Sam doesn't seem sick… you and I are fine, maybe we're just paranoid? Does your body still hurt?"

He smiled softly, "I'm okay. Maybe we are just paranoid right now."

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"Hey honey… can we come in?" Olivia asked from the door of the boys' room, surprised to see that Sam had allowed Isaac to curl up next to him in his bed.

"Was Isaac squirrelly?" Elliot asked softly.

"Sick," Sam muttered.

"Sick?" Olivia questioned and ran her hand over his forehead. "Wow… he is hot… let's get him in his bed huh?"

"I don't care," Sam whispered and simply rolled onto his side, ignoring her voice or the sound of her and Elliot caring for Isaac as they stripped him down to boxers, and put him under a sheet as he continued to sleep.

"Hey," Olivia whispered. "Want to come to the living room and crawl up on the couch with me and your dad?"

"No," he said sadly.

"Sam?" Elliot whispered kneeling directly in front of him, "I'd like you to come and talk to us… will you, please?"

He pressed his lips together, "Is she really dead?"

Olivia closed her eyes at his question, exhaled, "Yeah, Baby… I'm sorry."

"She made me… be alive?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." Elliot told him.

Sam barely nodded, "Well… I hate her for that."

"Baby-"

"No more talking, mom," Sam whispered and rolled over to his belly. "No more talking… I hate to talk."

"Samuel-"

He sat up immediately and surprised them both when he took his shirt off in anger and grabbed for her hand, splaying her fingers over the scars of his tiny body. A tear falling.

"I know, Honey… I know," she whispered, rubbing her index finger along the ridge of a burn mark. She took his tiny hand and placed it just under her shirt, "Remember… I know."

Sam bowed his head, she tipped it up and he came into her arms, his face hidden in her neck, "I hate her 'cause she made me be alive, but… if she didn't make me be alive… then I wouldn't have you as my Mom, so, maybe… maybe I could like her for that."

She kissed his naked shoulder and looked at Elliot across the bed, his face was pale and she didn't know if it was the stress of that Christmas card, or of this situation. She made a mental note and slowly pulled Sam away, "Can your Daddy take you to the couch or do you want me to?"

He went back to her embrace and held tightly to her. She stood slowly, the twinge of pain in her abdomen as she stood with the added weight, "Come on," she whispered, "Daddy and I want to hold you."

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She was slightly surprised that Sam laid his head in her lap and allowed his legs to stretch over Elliot's. They had held him in silence for several minutes, her fingers lazily stroking Sam's hair as he occasionally shuddered a breath of air to breath through silent crying.

"Mom?" he finally said.

"Yeah, Honey?"

"Why did that man come to our house?"

She exhaled and kissed his temple, "He told us about your mom."

"Is dad going to pick his punishment?"

"What?" she asked through furrowed brows as Elliot arched his brow in surprise of the question.

"He hit him a lot… I don't think the other man hit back… it didn't sound that way."

Olivia smirked at Elliot, mouthed 'busted' to him and let him take over.

"I am, in fact, picking my punishment… and I'll let you add one too, because I know what I did was wrong," he said apologetically. "I think that… I'm gonna miss out on my fishing trip next weekend… how's that?"

Sam thought about it, "Yeah, that's good… you've been waiting for that."

"Okay," Elliot said with a small smile, "no fishing for me. I'm grounded."

"Yeah… and plus… you have to rub mom's feet for a whole week," he grinned. "I hear you groan when she asks you to do it… you don't like it… so you have to do it for a whole week."

Olivia beamed at a blushing Elliot. If only Sam understood that it wasn't rubbing her feet that made him groan, it was what she did with her toes as she put her feet in his lap and asked him, that made him groan, "Sounds like foot massages for a week," she grinned. "Thanks Sam."

He smiled weakly, "No problem," he whispered and exhaled. "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"What else did the man tell you?"

"He told your dad… can he tell you?"

"Yeah."

Elliot moved his hand to his back and rubbed him gently, "Your Mom… slipped… in the shower… and bumped her head… it was a bad bump."

Olivia looked at Elliot curiously and returned to stroking Sam's mohawk, "Sam… your Dad and I aren't going to force you, but if you want to go to the funeral… we'll go with you, and sit with you and be there the whole time and no one will touch you… but it's up to you."

She felt him stiffen in her lap, she rubbed his arm softly, "Remember honey… there's restraining orders…remember what those do? They keep the bad guys away… you can go if you want, or you can stay home and we can play in the snow again."

"No," Sam exhaled. "Isaac is getting sick, he shouldn't play in the snow anymore… I'll… go."

She was shocked, "Baby… you don't have to if you don't want to."

"But… mom, would you be sad in heaven if I didn't go to your funeral?"

_Are you saying I'm equal to her as a mother? I'm not. I love you so much more than she could or would or did or does. I love you. You're my son. _

"There aren't any tears in heaven, son." _Do you think she's going to heaven? Because I'm pretty sure she's got a special place in hell. Where she'll rot. Forever._

"Maybe there's no heaven," he whispered. She exhaled, slowly, he was giving up on God, heaven… life.

"There's a heaven," Elliot told him gently. "There is, son, I promise."

"Mom? Would you be sad?" he asked again.

_How can I answer that Baby? Please don't make me answer that_.

"See," he whispered at her silence, "you would be."

_I would be._

"What are you trying to tell us, son?" Elliot asked, seeing she needed an out.

"I hate her… but, I don't want her to be dead _and_ sad," he confessed with a sniffle, "I'm not a mean boy."

She loved his nine year old logic. Loved his concern in spite of someone being so cruel to him. His compassion. She loved it, but she wanted nothing more than to not have to take him to this funeral. She wanted to change his mind. Desperately.

"You don't have to go," she whispered to him again.

He exhaled, "I… will, but maybe… maybe, I won't wear my best tie… maybe I'll just wear an ugly one."

She chuckled, "Are you suggesting that I've given you an ugly tie?"

He laughed weakly and pawed at his wet cheek, "No… Dad did."

"Hey!" Elliot grinned, "That tie matches mine!"

Olivia smiled, "The orange and blue one?"

"Yeah," Sam groaned.

"Yeah it's pretty ugly… but you didn't get it from me," she laughed rubbing his temple softly.

"I don't have to take this," Elliot teased, feigning hurt.

"You just did," she smiled at him as she continued running her hand over Sam's hair. They let comfortable silence befall them.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe I won't match either."

She realized what he was doing. Not looking his best for her was his own way of making a statement and she was fine with that, "Well, I think that'll be okay."

"Yeah," he exhaled and yawned. "And maybe… maybe I'll wear my play shoes with my slacks."

"Okay," Elliot exhaled softly, stroking his back, "I think that'll work."

"Yeah, and maybe I won't wear an undershirt," he said groggily, "that'll be… ex…tra ugly."

Olivia smiled and kissed his cheek, "Sleep, baby."

He let his eyes fall under the soothing touch of her hand, "Yeah…"

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"Hey, what's with all of the fussing?" Elliot teased Hannah as she kicked and squirmed on the changing table. "Is my girl hungry?" he asked as he un strapped her pamper at her hips. "I think I know a good drive-in to take you to." He whispered through a sleepy haze. Sam had crashed for the night. Isaac's fever had been at its highest, resulting in Elliot sitting in a cold bathtub with Isaac until the temperature came down.

Solomon had eventually joined the duo in the cool tub as Elliot had held them both securely, allowing the water to fulfill its purpose. Olivia had managed to get both Solomon and Isaac medicated and back to sleep, only to wake up to a vomiting Sam. She'd changed his bedding in a stupor, unable to decide if she should be happy that Sam was simply nervous and not sick, or upset that he wanted to attend this funeral. She was, after all, his mother. Taking care of him in the middle of the night, holding him, loving him, when this woman wouldn't even protect him.

And just when all the little Stablers were tucked quietly into their beds, kisses were given and covers tucked tight, Hannah's temperature sky rocketed and Olivia found herself preparing another tub of cool water as Elliot retrieved the fussy infant.

"Are you hungry? Or just sick and fussy?" he asked again, kissing her little belly before rubbing it gently. He frowned at the rash over her body, "I think you're hungry… and sick and fussy." He laughed softly and picked up his naked baby, holding her securely to his body, "Let's go scope out that drive-through, huh?" he whispered down to her as she sucked on his pinky, "It's got the best milk on the planet."

He made his way to the bathroom, seeing Olivia slip into the water sucking in air at the change in temperature as the water caressed her naked body. He waited until she held her arms out for Hannah, "Good news pumpkin," Elliot smiled, resting his daughter in Olivia's arms, "The drive through is open."

"Huh?" Olivia furrowed her brow and adjusted Hannah quickly, surprised that she latched onto her breast without fuss or complaint, especially in the cool water. "She's hungry."

Elliot smiled softly, "Best milk on the planet."

Olivia shook her head, "Why do I have the feeling you were convincing our daughter I was a drive-through?" she smirked. "You did, didn't you?"

"Maybe," he smiled and kissed her cheek. "I took her temperature in the nursery… it's back up again."

"Well," Olivia exhaled in exhaustion, "this seems to be working for the boys… maybe she'll take to it, maybe the temperature will break, the pediatrician said to try and break it first."

Elliot smiled at the scene in front of him, his wife, naked in the tub, feeding and holding their daughter. Life was so good. "I love you," he whispered.

Olivia looked up at him, "I know… I love you too," She smiled compassionately and tilted her head, "You're still worried aren't you?"

"Well… if the temperatures don't break we're gonna end up back at the hos-"

"About the card," she interjected softly. "You spent all of last night in the nursery and slipped back into bed thinking I wouldn't notice… I always notice when your not next to me."

Elliot exhaled, "I want… our kids and you… safe."

She smiled, "We are," she whispered. "We have you and if all else fails… we've got an extreamly grumpy dog." She chuckled and caressed his cheek with the cool wetness of her hand, "Would it help you, if we went to see Warner? She could put your mind at ease?"

Elliot mulled it over and exhaled, "Yeah… yeah I think I'd like that extra assurance."

"Okay," Olivia smiled softly, "as soon as we can then."

He grinned and let Hannah grasp his finger, he raised her hand playfully and Olivia gasped, "Oh no," she groaned tilting her head back.

"What?" Elliot shook his head, "What is it?"

"Well," she exhaled. "I think I know why three of our four kids are sick."

He arched his brow, "Care to share?"

Olivia raised Hannah's arm reveling the small blisters on the underside, "Chicken pox."

Elliot startled both Olivia and Hannah when he suddenly stood up and backed away, wiping his hands on a towel, "Oh no," he shook his head, "no."

"Elliot? What's wrong?"

He groaned and looked at her, "Liv… I've never had chicken pox."

She arched her brows and leaned her head back, exhaled, "Fabulous."

"Well," he shook his head, "Maybe it's not all chicken pox, huh? Hannah started running a temp on Christmas and then it was Solomon and Isaac, Sam isn't sick."

Olivia turned and looked at him, "Its contagious El… you may as well come and get all of her germs right now because your gonna get sick… and your gonna be such a baby." She smirked, "I'm doomed to insomnia."

"Hey!" he laughed softly and kneeled back down steadying his voice, "I'm sorry Liv… I just was one of those kids that didn't get it… and I wasn't really around anyone who had it.. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to add to your stress-"

"Hey," she laughed, "I'm completely teasing you! Don't worry, if and when you break out, we'll deal with it then, but for now can you hand me the thermometer?"

He grinned and left to retrieve it, kneeling down back at the tub, "I'll do it," he whispered and inserted the thermometer to Hannah's ear looking at the reading. "Good news, you can come out of the tub."

"Good, it's cold."

"She's not complaining," he teased,

Olivia rolled her eyes, "She was burning up… of course _she_ isn't complaining."

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"Kids clothed?" Olivia asked, eyeing the clock that read three-thirty-seven in the morning.

"Check," Elliot responded, rubbing her arms quickly to warm her as she shivered.

"I fed Hannah?" she asked, literally unable to remember in her sleep deprived state.

"Check," he handed her a pair of fresh panties.

"You fed Solomon?" she inquired, sliding them over her body and adjusting the fabric.

"Check."

"Isaac is still asleep?"

"Affirmative," he assured her, handing her a flannel shirt.

"Sam?"

"Also still asleep," he said, slipping into his flannel pants.

"We gave the kids medicine?" she asked, sensing she was forgetting something.

He chuckled pulling the blankets back, "Check. Check. Check… Roger That… Affirmative, whatever… we got it done, those kids are clothed, fed, medicated, tucked and finally asleep, now will you _please_ get that glorious body of yours over here and come to sleep with me?"

She grinned apologetically and slipped under the covers, immediately snuggling next to him, "I'm sorry… I just… geeze they're all sick at the same time," she chuckled, "and if they all do have the chickenpox," she exhaled, "I'm so incrediably happy about it."

He pulled back, "Huh?"

She smiled up at him, "I didn't think… I would get to go through that with Isaac. I thought maybe that'd been taken from us… maybe it hasn't," she grinned.

Elliot smiled and kissed her softly, "I'm glad we get to go through it."

She rested her forehead against his and immediately pulled back furrowing her brows.

"What?" he prottested, "I brushed my teeth."

She rolled her eyes, "Are you feeling okay?"

"It's a little warm in the house but I'll survive," he told her and kissed her again, she cupped his cheek and moaned, tearing away from him and feeling his forehead with the back of her hand. "What, Liv?" he asked again. Here he was, wanting to come on to her, wanting to make love to her and she was playing hard to get. He grinned.

She groaned and crawled over him reaching for the thermometer he placed on his nightstand, should Hannah demand his attention again. She stilled mid-reach and turned her head to look at him as he palmed her bottom. She felt his erection directly under her. She arched a brow at him, smiled coyly and grabed the thermometer, purposefully rubbing over him as she moved back to straddle him, "I can't believe your thinking about that… when your running a temperature."

He grinned, "I'm not running a temperature… you just get me really riled up is all."

She smirked, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll make you a deal… your temp comes out normal… I'll do anything you want-"

"Anything?" he waggled his brows.

She smiled, "But. If you're so much as over by a hair… I'm gonna have to leave you riled up."

He grinned, thrust his hips into her softly and smiled as she swallowed hard at the sensation, "Sure you can do that?"

He should no not to challenge her.

She narrowed her eyes playfully and inserted the thermometer into his ear, clicked the button and read the temperature to herself.

"What's the story Doc? Am I dying or what?" he asked playfully.

She flashed him a smile full of sex and desire and rubbed her hips over his, planting her hands on the mattress on either side of his face and kissing him seductively. Her tongue massaging his, her lips meshing and caressing his. She felt his erection harden even more and she waited a few more minutes of torture. He moaned. Her cue.

She pulled away, plopped herself down next to him and grinned, "Sorry, baby, but you've got a temp… you need your rest."

He panted, swallowed his need for her and motioned to the tenting in the linen, "Liv… Liv you can't do this."

She grinned, ran her hand over his abdomen and snuggled tightly against him, "Of course I can."

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"I can't believe they're actually letting you out of the pen, today." The young cellmate shook his head, "Must be nice to serve a couple of years for the crap you pulled… Damn, I carjacked and got life."

"That's because you're stupid," the older gentleman told him simply. "If you're going to do something, you should at least know how to get a lighter sentence out of it."

"How'd you get it?"

He smirked sadistically at the younger inmate, "Some genius simply cannot be explained."

"Well genius," a guard interrupted them suddenly. "How about you get your rancid self ready to go?"

The older inmate smiled and adjusted his tie, "Oh… I've been ready for this day… since the first day."

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"Liv?" Elliot groaned, "Liv, I think I'm dying."

She shot up in the bed immediately, "What!" she shrieked, kneeling next to him on the bed and immediately assessing him. He was sweating and hot even though it looked like he'd stripped down to nothing after she'd fallen asleep. She looked over his body and exhaled, "You're not dying you cry baby," she laughed and rubbed his abdomen softly, "I told you, you had a fever… you've got chicken pox, El."

"Do not!" he protested.

She laughed raising his hand to him and showing him the chicken pox that apparently made themselves known in the night, "I'll call you in sick… go back to sleep."

"I've been awake for two hours," he groaned. "I can't sleep."

She smiled softly, "I'll run you a cool bath… El, maybe if Sam is sick… he won't have to go today," she said hopefully.

"Liv," he cupped her face and exhaled "he loves you… you're his mother. Take him. I don't think I can go, and I think I should be here for Hannah and the boys… we're gonna be too grumpy and contagious to go to a funeral… take him, Liv… be with him, love him, support him… be his mother."

She exhaled, closed her eyes and smiled softly kissing his cheek, "Thank you."

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She kept an eye on the clock as she moved about, feeding Hannah who's little body had already succumbed entirely to the chicken pox. The head to toe angry blisters very much evident as she laid her into the crib. She rested Solomon next to Elliot in the bed as he had asked her to do. He was sick, but he still wanted to feed his son, and he did just that before he laid him back in the crib and crawled miserably back into his own bed.

Isaac was a horse of a different color, then again he always was. She found him, that morning, naked and sprawled eagle on the couch, the left over coals from the fire providing just enough warmth to keep him comfortable but not add to his misery. She decided to let him sleep a little longer. She had to wake Sam up and get him ready. She didn't understand his choice, she just knew that for some reason, it stung.

What she saw when she opened his bedroom door both hurt her and endeared her. Sam sat quietly on the foot of his bed. Impeccably dressed. "Morning, Honey," she whispered, kneeling in front of him, "You didn't sleep well did you?"

"No," he whispered. "Not so well… Isaac woke me up. He was very hot and fussy. I put him back to sleep on the couch 'cause it felt cooler in there and he went to sleep really fast and plus… before that, I didn't feel so well."

She felt his forehead, "You don't have a temperature, that's good… because everyone except you and me are sick today."

"Dad too?"

"Yeah, son. I'm sorry… he can't come with us today, how do you feel about that?"

He exhaled, "Its okay."

"You don't have to go, Sam," she whispered, stroking his face. "If you don't want to.. you just tell me and you and I can snuggle on the couch and listen to SpongeBob or I can read you a book or-"

"I have to," he whispered. "She can't be sad in heaven."

_She's not going to heaven!_

"Hungry?" she asked him softly, "We have time to stop for something, or I can make you something."

"No… It might hurt my tummy."

She exhaled, passed her hand over his tie, "You look very handsome this morning… you wore your best clothes."

_You dressed nice for her. Will you replace me, in your heart, with her? Will you stop calling me mom now?_

She blinked out a tear and wiped it quickly but couldn't stop the sniffle.

He caught on immediately and instantly raised his hands to her face, "Mom?"

She smiled at the name and sobbed into innocent hands, "Yeah honey?"

"Why are you crying?" he asked, clumsily wiping at her wet cheeks.

She framed his face, kissed his cheeks, his forehead and chin before hugging him tightly against her, "You just… look… so handsome today," she whispered, hoping her comment sufficed.

"I dressed nice for you today, Mom," he said, into her shoulder.

She pulled back and looked at him, "What?"

"You would have felt funny if people thought you didn't take good care of me… so I dressed really super nice to tell all of them… that you and Dad take better care of me than she did… than any of them did," he whispered sadly and chirped again, "But look!"

She arched her brows rolling back on the heels of her feet and smiling as he pulled up the legs of his slacks and revealed, to her great happiness… mismatched socks, "Just you and me know about these, kay Mom?"

She sniffled, wiped her nose and exhaled, "Kay… Sam… you're getting ice cream after this," she chuckled, and kissed his cheek, "I love you so, so much."

He grinned, "I know… that's why you're my mom!"

She smiled, "Yeah… Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I think… God is very happy you decided to do this, you're being very graceful."

His face crumbled and he slipped off the bed, pushing past her to the door, "There is no god, Mom."

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"This is Paul Novak."

"Paul! Man… save me!" Elliot groaned into the phone.

He chuckled, "What?"

"We're all sick! I can't move and Isaac is going crazy!"

"Where's Olivia?"

"Um… she had to take care of some personal stuff with Sam today… she left milk and all of that, but…. Well, Addison had chicken pox right? Please Man, I'm begging you," Elliot said desperately, "I swear, whatever you want, it's yours… money, my car, my fishing pole, my kidney… you need a kidney?"

Paul laughed deeply, "They're just kids!"

"I'm sick too!" Elliot protested, "come on! I just offered you my kidney!"

Paul exhaled through a grin, "Yeah, I'll be right there… let me tie up some loose ends and I'll come bail your sorry butt out!"

"Oh, man," Elliot exhaled in relief, "thank you… thank you. I thought I was gonna die."

"You're pretty dramatic, you know that?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, my wife tells me a couple of times a day."

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Olivia pulled the mustang up to the curb just outside of the church and placed it in gear before turning the engine off, "Honey," she said softy as she turned to face Sam, "baby, you don't have to do this."

"Have you ever been sad Mom? I know you have, but… can you remember how it hurt?"

She furrowed her brow, "Yeah, Baby… I remember how it hurt."

He ran his hand over his Mohawk that he'd asked her to spike for him, and while he normally wasn't allowed to do it she allowed him today. Nothing fancy, just a tussled row of hair, more like a shabby flat top than anything else, "It's a bad hurt huh, Mom?"

She swallowed, "Yeah honey… it's a bad one."

His voice grew dim, weighed down with the world, "I feel it every day," he whispered sadly, "and I hurt every day."

Olivia tilted her head at his confession, cupped her hand at the back of his neck and pulled him close to her, "Oh, Samuel," she whispered kissing him softly, "baby, you don't have to do this… you don't have to go in there and hurt anymore."

"Yes, I do," he whispered, softly, "because she'll be sad and I don't want _anyone_ to have that hurt forever."

How had it come to be that he learned to love a world, that taught him nothing but cruelty, without cause or concern for himself, "Do you want your cane?" she asked kissing him softly on the crown of his head.

"No," he exhaled and thumbed his brow. "Mom, maybe you could lead me like a normal boy? Maybe people won't remember who I am?"

"Sam-"

"I don't have to wear my glasses. All you have to do is tell me where to keep my eyes and I will… but… please?" he begged.

She nodded and exhaled. Got out of the car and donned her jacket as curious onlookers on their way into the church spied her helping her son out of the car, "Jacket," she reminded him and helped him into it. "Okay, show me all the way down," she told him and watched as he lowered his gaze all the way down. "Now, all the way up," he obeyed. "Okay, show me the middle… perfect, but honey… you can move your eyes, or put your glasses on or do whatever you want, okay?"

"Kay," he nodded and took her hand. She attempted to lead him but he stood firmly planted, "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm still not a black belt."

She arched her brows, "Ooookay."

"Can we work on it? Now that you're not sick and the babies are here, can we?"

She grinned, "I can't fit into my gi yet… but yeah, I'll show you some things."

"I want my belts, like at the gym," he told her, still not moving.

She knew he was stalling and she was fine with it, "I'll teach you a little here and there until I can get my gi on, but be patient okay? Once I get it, it'll mean you're working hard."

He swallowed, "Okay."

She smiled softly and attempted to lead him again to which he pulled her back to him and hugged her hand, "Mom?"

"Right here."

"Will grandma and grandpa Wilson be here?"

She crouched in front of him forgetting about the chilly weather even as the fog of their breaths danced between them, "They will be, yes… but I won't let them touch you. I promise."

"Okay," he nodded and let her lead him into the church.

Olivia was surprised with the turnout, she'd thought for sure there would be a handful of people to attend the funeral of a woman so incapable of caring for a child, but as she looked around she saw two handfuls. Okay, three.

She led Sam down the aisle and wished instantly she hadn't worn heels. Her shoes clicking on the linoleum alerted everyone sitting that someone was walking in, and to her mortification they all turned and stared at her son. Some in curiosity of the oddly small boy, some in neutrality, but as she looked further up the aisle and saw the looks of disgust; she most certainly recognized a few members of his family, grandparents, uncle.

She sat Sam a few pews back and wondered if it was a good idea to let him do this. She watched him struggle with his tie and loosen it into a sloppy knot, something he never liked. "It's okay… you just tell me when you want to go home and we'll go," she whispered, wrapping her arm around him. "You're in charge of this one okay?"

"Kay," he exhaled and leaned into her embrace, pulled away suddenly and un-tucked one side of his shirt and simply snuggled in closer to her.

You can tell a lot about a person by what is said at their funeral. By who speaks at the funeral or in this case, who doesn't. A generic pastor stood before people and spouted off some mumble jumble about their 'beloved sister' who was 'undoubtedly kind and generous'. Olivia was starting to get angry when she heard Sam's exhalation of air, "Its okay," she assured him through a soft whisper, "It doesn't mean it's true."

He sniffled, "Why is he lying, Mom?"

"Shh, son." She said softly, "We'll talk after okay?"

He nodded and just as fast as the funeral had started, it ended with the pastor encouraging people to convey their condolences, "What's that mean?" he asked hearing the commotion in the church.

"It means that people can give the family hugs if they want," Olivia told him softly. "Let's go get ice cream, huh?"

"I need to belay my candlesness," he told her softly. "Will you lead me?"

_No! _

"Yeah," she whispered, twining her hand into his and leading him down the aisle. It was one of the few times she'd ever been thankful he couldn't see the people looking at him. She eyed Virginia Wilson as she stood with him in the line. Virginia Wilson, the grandmother who had allowed such atrocities to be acted upon, under her watch. Had she had her gun they would have had to throw Virginia into the casket with her sorry excuse for a daughter.

"Sam," Olivia whispered. "You don't have to do this… these are people who have hurt you so badly, baby… please don't. Don't do this," she pleaded with him softly as the relatively short line progressed and they drew closer to the woman who branded her son the devil.

"Who is here?" he asked softly.

"The only people that are sitting now, are grandma and grandpa Wilson," she told him.

He exhaled, "Will you talk me to grandma Wilson?"

She wiped her tear.

_Please don't make me do this to you Sam. I don't want any part of this._

"No, baby… let's go home," she said tugging on his hand to take him out of the line.

"Mom," he pulled her softly back and motioned for her to bend low so he could speak into his ear, "Mom… once a fear is exposed it must be conquered… remember?"

"Sam," she pleaded with him watching the line dissipated, "please don't use my words against me… I don't want you to hurt for them baby."

He held her neck and continued to speak to her, "I'm scared of them Mom, and I need you to help me not be scared… I'm in charge on this one, remember?"

She chuckled, surely Casey had been teaching him the rules of argument, "You're growing up so fast."

"Help my heart to not be afraid anymore," he said, "please?"

She exhaled as the last person gave Virginia a hug and stepped away. Olivia lead Sam to face her, her hands on his shoulders as she glared down at Virginia.

"Samuel?" Virginia whispered wide eyed, "I can barely recognize you."

Olivia ran her hand over his hair still glaring, _Yeah, that's what happens when you feed a kid. Not that you would know_.

He tucked his shirt in sloppily and simply stood in front of her. His best tie, his new slacks since he'd put on weight, his Addidas and perfectly pressed shirt, "Hello," he said softly, almost void of emotion.

Mr. Wilson stared between disgust and shock of the youngster in front of them, "Why in the h-"

Virginia cut him off and stared at Samuel, "What do you want?" she asked more in curiosity than anything else.

He'd heard the people pass her and tell her things like, 'I'm sorry for your loss,' and 'she was a good woman,' Sam disagreed with both of those but took a shaky step forward and extended his hand into the atmosphere, "I'm sorry you're sad today," he whispered, offering his hand for a shake.

Mr. Wilson attempted to reach out for Sam and Olivia quickly grabbed his wrist and glared at him. He'd 'caused enough pain for Sam, he'd never touch him again under her watch. Never.

Virginia stared in shock and as if something else were controlling her hand she raised it slowly, and gently, almost imperceptibly, shook Sam's hand. Olivia looked down, clamping her jaw that this woman was graced with the simplicity of a hand shake from Sam.

Sam took another step forward and when Olivia's hands slipped off of his shoulders she wondered if that was what it feels like when your child moves away, or goes off to college, that eternal pit in your gut. She was shocked and humbled and enraged and joyful all at once as Sam pulled Virginia close and whispered into her ear, just loud enough that Olivia could make it out.

"My grace isn't my weakness," he told her softly and calmly took his mother's hand and walked away, down the aisle as the lone click of Olivia's heels comforted him, the softness and surety of her hand covering his, protecting him. Sam made it to the outside of the church and half way down the steps before simply sitting down.

"Honey?" Olivia whispered, "it's snowed a bit… we got to get you in the car."

She attempted to help him up and he promptly vomited all over her, "Okay," she whispered, pulling him close to her and picking his small body up, "Come on… let's go see Dad, huh?"

He held her neck tightly as she walked him to the car. He cried.

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Fifty-three year old Dallas St. James, Casey's boss, political opponent and proverbial thorn in her side, leaned against the door frame, "Novak," she chuckled startling Casey from a file, "Do you really think you can run for DA-"

Casey smirked and returned to her file, "According to the law, anyone with a law degree can run for DA… last time I checked, I have one of those."

"No, no," she laughed, walking deeper into the office and running her hand through short white hair, "I meant… you don't think you can really run for DA… against me… and win, do you?"

Casey eyed her as she leaned back in her chair, "Not only do I think I can run against you and win… I'm going to do it with a smile."

Dallas exhaled and offered a tight smirk, "Maybe you should save your smile… that whole, full lip thing you've got going is kind of odd for your face," she said, tossing a file onto Casey's desk before offering a small bow of her head and walking away.

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"I've had to ask to take a piss for six years," he smiled at the guard.

The guard reluctantly stamped his paperwork and shoved money into an envelope, "If I had it my way… your balls would have been cut off and you'd piss in a bag for the next sixty years."

The older gentleman produced a small humored smirk and looked down to gain his thoughts, "One might think you're jealous."

"Of what?" The guard entertained him waiting for the rest of the paperwork to print, "By all means, please tell me why I should be jealous of a worthless piece of crap like you."

He grinned taking his discharge paperwork, "Because, I'm going bear hunting."

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"I'm sorry," Sam cried into Olivia's chest in the changing room of the first department store she could find. She couldn't care less about the stares she got as she frantically pulled clothes off the rack for both him and her and quickly ushered him to the changing room.

"Don't be," she whispered, sitting on the small bench and taking him onto her lap.

"It was so scary," he sniffled, holding tight to her neck.

_Why did you let him do it!_

"I know it was honey… and you survived it. You're so strong and beautiful and merciful," she whispered, "You're such a good boy and I love you," she said and kissed the crown of his head. "I love you. And even if you didn't do that today… I still would have loved you."

"I want you to always love me," he whispered. "You're my mom and I love you with all of my heart… even the broken parts."

She hugged him tighter, "I thank God everyday for you," she whispered and felt him cringe at the mention of God, "And I know," she said holding him tighter so he couldn't move, "that your having a hard time with God and your upset with Him, but do you remember what you told me about bruised reeds?"

"Mom-"

"Answer me, please," she whispered stroking his back, "Do you remember?"

He exhaled through his nose, she smiled softly at the snot that rubbed against her neck, "A bruised reed He won't crush and a flickering flame He won't put out."

"Remember that. Okay? Repeat that to yourself, ask me to tell you, ask your dad to tell you… but you've got to believe it again Baby."

He exhaled against her again, "I love you."

She smiled and pulled him away, cupping his face, "And I love you."

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"Man, just take your medicine. You're worse than a kid!" Paul groaned, handing Elliot pills.

"I feel… like crap… the runny kind," Elliot exhaled, "it's so hot in here."

"Na, man, it's not," Paul said casually, "the heat is off, but yeah… you look hot."

"Why Paul," Elliot smirked, "my wife may think your hitting on me."

"Yeah," Paul shook his head in disgust, "I don't think so… don't flatter yourself."

Elliot chuckled and groaned hearing Solomon scream, "No," he shook his head, "no. Not again."

"He's sick. Addy cried for like two weeks straight," he chuckled, "I'll get him."

"Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you please find the off switch to him?"

Paul rolled his eyes, "Only if I can find yours."

"Jerk."

"Wuss."

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"Mom?"

"That's me." _That's really me. You love me, you accept me, you won't replace me with her. Thank you, handsome_.

"Can I wear jeans?"

She raised her brow, "You want to wear jeans?"

"Yeah," he whispered feeling her leg, "your wearing jeans."

"I found these slacks for you… you don't want them?"

He exhaled, "If you want me to want them I will."

"What's wrong?" she asked tilting his face up. "Tell me baby."

"Do you think, if I was more normal that grandma and grandpa would have been nicer? That mom would have saved me?"

She cupped his face and spoke softly, "I think that if they couldn't see how beautiful and brave you are, and if they couldn't love you for who you are and what you like… then they didn't deserve you in the first place."

"Can I have my glasses, please?"

_Are you trying to hide? _

"Sure," she whispered, "but… jeans or slacks?"

"Je-no-slacks," he smiled softly. "Yeah, I like slacks."

"Good," she whispered and kissed his cheek. "Go ahead and slip into them and we'll go get ice cream and go home and see how dad is feeling.

"He's still sick?"

"Yeah," she said softly and helped him into a simple white shirt.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?" she smiled tying his shoe lace for him as he leaned against the wall.

"What did they look like?"

"Who?" she asked moving to the other shoe.

"The Wilson's… what did they look like?"

She cinched down on the knot and let his foot free as she popped his collar and draped a tie over him, "He was about your Dad's height. She seemed to have a cane to help her wal-"

"No," he shook his head as she finished his knot and fixed his collar, "I mean… what did they look like when they saw me?"

_I think they crapped themselves that a little boy like you was ballzy enough to take them on_.

"They… we're very surprised to see you," she said softly.

"Did they look like they loved me… even just a little?"

_No, son I'm sorry, it didn't. _

"You know what?" she exhaled and fixed his gig line. "I think that one day… when someone teaches them what love is… they'll look back and whish they'd loved you even more than they did."

_Not that they did but I'm not going to tell you that. I'm not going to tell you that they were still as heartless as the day I saw them in the courtroom. I'll lie to you on this one. I hope you'll forgive me, but I'm lying to you._

"Ice cream?"

"Dad," he whispered.

She smiled and gathered their puke stained clothes into a bag the attendant let her have, "Let's go."

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Fresh air had never smelled or felt so good before, even in spite of the cool air that caressed his body through the cheap prison release clothes he wore and the jacket that didn't offer him warmth against the element of snow, "I suppose congratulations are in order?" a voice caught him off guard.

"Warden," he grinned seeing the tall man approach him, "I can't tell you the pleasure I had staying at your fine establishment… it kills me to have to leave."

"Funny," the warden shrugged, "It kills me to let you leave." His face fell dark as he stepped closer to the inmate who was now a former con, "I don't know how you got the information to make the deal," he snarled, "but you're gonna rot in hell."

The former con shrugged as the bus pulled up to pick him up. He smirked, "Sounds like a good vacation spot."

The warden took a menacing step forward, his chest meshing with the older gentleman's, "Get the hell out of here," he seethed.

"Don't get your cock in a bend," the man smiled and winked, "Ta ta for now warden," he said before turning and stepping on the bus. The doors quickly closed as he took a seat two seats behind the driver.

"Well," the driver grinned pulling out onto the road, "how does freedom feel?"

He smiled at him through the mirror, "Orgasmic."

The obese driver laughed brightly, "I've been doing these prison pick-up's for over ten years and I don't think I ever heard it put that way," he said shifting gears and accelerating. "Got anyone waiting for you?"

He leaned back in his seat and looked out the window as the world sped by, "Three little boys, one little girl… and a beautiful wife."

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Casey stormed into Dallas's office and slammed the file onto her desk, "You scheming bitch!"

"Pardon?" Dallas smiled taking her glasses off and tossing them carelessly on the desk. "You seem upset councilor… something wrong?"

Casey stared at her in hate, "You know exactly what you're doing."

Dallas smirked, "Do I?"

Casey clamped her jaw tight and turned to close the door. She pointed at Dallas, "You can't do this and expect it to work."

"Of course I can," she grinned, revealing teeth that showed her age, "See, you and those two are bonded by a terrible, terrible tragedy," she said, faking genuine concern. "Which means you have a very serious choice to make."

"This is unethical."

Dallas took a sip of her coffee, "Honey, I'm an attorney and a politician, I have no room for morals, scruples or even these 'ethics' you talk about, spare me the intense drama of saving your friendship… make the decision Casey… you tell her what's in that file and-"

"And I break a code of ethics I swore to uphold and you fire me for unethical behavior."

"Don't forget submitting you to be disbarred," she grinned and waggled her brows.

Casey exhaled and ran her hands through her hair, realization suddenly dawning, "Sonovabitch." she stated slowly. "This isn't just about getting me not to run for D.A because you know I'll win… you backed me into a corner."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Dallas said smiling. "We all have serious choices we have to make Casey," she stood from her seat and walked around to lean on her desk. "There are two questions that you need to weigh Casey, one is your career, the other is the impact that file has on two people that are very close to you."

Dallas rubbed Casey's arm as if she cared, "You need to figure out what's important, because anyway you look at it… you've read the file and if you tell them, I'll fire you for unethical behavior… if you don't tell them, I'll blow you out of the water in debates and you'll be exposed and they may not forgive you this time. Not to mention the fact that the public will hate you… and I'll still fire you."

Casey exhaled took a step forward, "Let me tell you something you heartless, dumb broad, if you think for one minute that you're going to stand here and make me shake… you'd better think again. I'm not scared of you. I never have been, and I might go down, and I might loose a friend along the way… but you will not force me to yield, so why don't you sit your pretty ass back in your seat, before I shove you in it."

Dallas arched her brow and casually moved away pretending she wasn't rattled, but giving up her position just the same, "Threatening the DA… not good," she smiled and took her seat. "Get out of my office Novak."

"With pleasure."

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Olivia adjusted Sam in her arms and gently pushed the front door open taking him straight to his room and laying him on his bed, "Mom?"

"Shh. Get sleep honey. Just a couple of hours and then it'll be dinner okay?" she whispered loosening his tie and taking it off, unbuttoning his top button and kissing his cheek, "Love you."

He rolled to his side and instantly fell back to sleep.

She turned to the other bed, expected to see Isaac and instead saw a pair of abandoned boxers. She smirked and walked to the living room pulling her shoes off along the way and stopping in the living room, grinning at her discovery.

Elliot had called for back up. Paul laid sprawled on the love seat with Solomon in his protective arms, both asleep, Solomon in a pamper, him covered in spit up. Empty bottles strewn about as if they were beer bottles and these two had just had a massive party. Elliot stretched the length of the couch, his body seemed to have multiplied with blisters over his flesh as he slept in boxers and an "A" shirt. The house was cold but he looked like he was sweating as a pampered Hannah rested on her father's chest, a naked Isaac sprawled over his thighs and hips, that perfect toddler bottom exposed. Asleep.

She removed Solomon delicately and placed him in his crib before returning to Paul, "Hey!" she poked him playfully, "it's ten bucks to park on my couch."

He grinned and sat up, "Oh… Solomon?"

"Crib," she chuckled, "Elliot wussed out huh?"

"Actually… they really were a handful," he confessed, "and Elliot… wasn't looking good at all, his temperature spiked to 103 but I dumped ice in the tub," he chuckled, "oh he was pissed."

She laughed, "Hey, I didn't see your car, how'd you get here?"

"Cab… I was at the lab and Casey has my car, her's is being fixed, blah blah," he smiled and stood up, "Can I wash up?"

"Yeah, sure, be my guest," she said, "you know where everything is… hey you need a lift home?"

"Na," he assured her, "could you maybe call me cab? I've got to go pick up Addison and I'm meeting Casey for dinner at the house."

"Ooh, sounds romantic," she grinned.

He laughed, "Maybe."

"Okay, I don't want to hear it! Go wash. I'll call a cab." She laughed.

Several minutes later Olivia walked Paul to the door and handed him sixty dollars, "Don't you dare fight me on this one. You had four chicken pox infested Stablers and two cab fares. I'm sure it doesn't really cover it but it's all the cash I got on me" she laughed and shoved it into his shirt pocket as the cab pulled up. "Tell Case I say hi and we need to have dinner again soon."

He grinned and gave her a friendly hug goodbye, "See ya, Olivia."

"Bye, and thank you," she said, closing the door behind him and retrieving her son, "Come here naked," she grinned picking him up and returning him to his bed, slipping his boxers on as he slept and covering him with a sheet knowing he'd burn up with a comforter.

Retrieving Hannah without waking up Elliot proved a more delicate situation as he held her so protectively in his arms. She pried his fingers away then his arm and extracted her as carefully as a surgeon would a heart. She kissed her daughter and walked her to the nursery, "Your daddy loves you… and so do I," she whispered and laid her gently in her crib before looking down at Solomon, "and you young man… I love you so much," she smiled and walked back to the living room.

"Hey," she whispered kissing his forehead, "wake up… come to bed."

"Feel… crap," he muttered.

She chuckled, "Wake up."

"No," he smirked.

She trailed her finger down his abdomen, then his naval and cupped him softly.

He hissed in pain, grabbed her wrist, "No!"

She pulled away quickly, "I'm sorry," she said in confusion. "What's wrong? What happened?"

He swallowed completely awake now, "N-nothing," he groaned holding himself as he sat up.

"El?" she watched his face, "Why did that hurt?" He blushed and looked away and it dawned on her, "Blisters?"

"Yeah… I didn't know you can get them there."

"I don't think it's common but I've heard of it," she assured him, "I picked up a load of medicine for you and the kids, I've got calamine by the gallon and some ointment… I could… massage on… if you want."

He grinned looking at her, "You trying to take advantage of a sickly man?"

She smirked, "Yeup."

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"Mac," Casey rushed into the bullpen, "Mac!"

"What?" he responded in distraction. "You looking for Fin? He's in an inte-"

"No," she said quickly, "where's Don?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your Captain!" she snapped, "the little bald man that makes sure you get paid! Where is he?"

Mac raised his brow at her frustration, "In his office… where he usually is."

She pushed past him, the furry of her heels striking the linoleum, she didn't knock but simply walked in and shut the door. Mac watched from his desk.

"Councilor?" Cragen looked up from his desk, "To what do I owe the interruption?" he asked, politely ending a phone call and leaning back in his seat.

"Have you talked to Olivia and Elliot?"

"I talk to them frequently, yes, we got her new partner's orders, Olivia will be back in a month or so, Elliot is adjusting to robbery… why?"

"No I mean… has anyone been bothering them?"

"Not that they've mentioned, no… what's going on?"

"I don't know," she told him in exasperation. "Look, I know they've asked for a dog before… did that pan out since the babies were born? Are you looking into it? What's that status on that?"

"Is this the Spanish Inquisition?" he asked in shock of her franticness.

She snapped and gestured with her arms, "Can you just answer my damn questions? Please!"

He arched his brows and exhaled, "Several months ago they were scheduled to receive a dog… he was killed on his last week of duty. The second dog they were scheduled for was found to have cancer on his post service physical… they're due to receive a dog in about six months, I haven't been able to tell them, I just got word myself… what's going on?"

"Where are they on the list?" she asked ignoring his question.

"Number three."

"When is the number one candidate scheduled to receive a dog?" she asked pacing the office.

"In three days," he said standing up, "What the hell is going on?"

"I told you!" she seethed, "I'm not sure!"

"Casey-"

"Look!" she leaned over his desk and lowered her voice, "You get them the next damn dog on that list, and you get them that dog, now."

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"I think you and I are even," Elliot groaned, sitting gently on the bed and carefully stretching out.

"With what?" she asked, getting calamine and ointment ready.

"You're episiotomy, my blisters… yeah, both of us have had some 'below the belt trauma'" he laughed softly. "It's so hot, Liv."

"You want to get back in the shower?" she asked taking his temperature. "You didn't eat your dinner."

"I feel so hot."

"Your temperature is actually lower than it was when I got home," she told him softly. "Come on, let's get you out of the boxers-"

"Liv, I can't make love to you-"

She laughed, "El, come on… I wouldn't expect that from you right now, you look like crap anyway."

He smirked, "Thanks Honey, that helped, it really did."

She kissed his lips softly, "My pleasure," she smiled softly and carefully took his boxers off, wincing as he groaned from an aching and blistered body. She kneeled at his side and softly dabbed the blisters with doused cotton balls, "Better?" she asked dousing another and continuing along his abdomen.

"Mmm," he responded closing his eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" she whispered, dabbing at the blisters along his cheek.

"Hmm?" he murmured, content to feel the cool medicine on his body.

"Sam's Mom didn't die from a fall did she?"

He exhaled, opened his eyes and looked at her, "No… drug overdose, but… I couldn't bare to tell him that, how did you know?"

"You stammered when you told him… like you were making it up."

"I was," he whispered and groaned as she kneeled between his legs, "Liv, don't start something I can't finish."

"Shh," she soothed him. "Just relax. I'm gonna massage your body and get some of that achiness out of you," she explained, being extra careful of the blisters as she massaged his chest muscles and slowly worked her way over his body until he was just about asleep, which was exactly where she needed him if she was going to tend to more 'sensitive parts' without getting him aroused.

She squeezed the ointment into her palm and rubbed her hands together warming the cold ointment so as not to shock him into wakefulness, but as soon as her hands were on him, as soon as she made her first past he was wide awake and starring at her, "You couldn't resist could you?" he smirked.

She laughed, "Oh, save it. This cream is suppose to help you."

He grinned weakly, "It's helping."

"El," she scolded him softly, "go back to sleep so I can do this."

"Liv," he whispered, taking her hand and guiding it to him, "touch me. Be soft, but please? I want your hands on me," he told her.

There was something about him asking her to touch him that always made her throw out logic or reason, but to be frank, she was worried that an erection might aggravate the sprinkle of blisters on his shaft, "I don't want to hurt you," she whispered softly.

"I'll tell you if I can't handle it… please?" he asked again.

She smiled and obliged him, "Close your eyes… and go to sleep," she said softly and gently stroked his inner thighs. When he arched his back and hissed in pleasure she withdrew her hands, "No," she told him, "I said try and go to sleep… just relax. I'll touch you, but I want you to lay back, close your eyes and relax… can you do that?" she smiled.

He nodded, "Yeah, yeah. Please touch me."

She massaged his thighs, moved to the space between his navel and penis and used her thumb to apply gentle motions before caressing him gently. Relaxing and medicating him at the same time, she watched his body slowly start to unwind, his head rolled gently to the side, his jaw mildly ajar. He'd fallen asleep under the spell of her hands and she didn't mind it one bit.

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She thought she heard crying. She kept her eyes closed but opened one to peek at the alarm clock, she'd only been asleep for two hours after staying up with a very fussy Solomon for a little over three hours, and that was _after_ she'd gotten Elliot to sleep. She focused on the sound, realized it wasn't that of an infant, nor of a toddler and it was coming from within the room.

When she realized it was Sam, she propped herself up on her elbow and reached for him, "Sam?" her voice was raspy with sleep, or lack thereof. "What's the matter, baby? Did you have a dream? Want to sleep with us?"

He sniffled and sobbed, "No."

"Why are you upset then, honey?"

He pawed at his face, "I know that dad is really sick, but… can I wake him up, please?"

Olivia looked over at the sleeping mass beside her and was reluctant, but knew, that Elliot would kill her if she let an opportunity for him to help Sam go by. Especially, if Sam was asking for him specifically, "Can you tell me if you're okay?" she asked Sam softly. "Do you feel sick?" she asked, feeling his forehead and noting he didn't have a temperature. It was when she glanced down at his pajama pants that she realized why he wanted his father, "You know what?" she caressed his cheek, "your dad was feeling a little better last night, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you woke him up… go ahead," she encouraged him and laid back on her pillow watching him.

Sam moved to the other side of the bed and moved his hand along Elliot's arm, grasping his shoulder and shaking him gently, "Daddy, I need you."

Elliot shocked Olivia when he woke up, instantly sitting and looking at his son. She was thankful he had woken while she was up with Solomon and donned boxers, "What's the matter?" he asked immediately, "Are you okay?"

Sam sniffled and inhaled a shaky breath, "Can you make it go away, dad?"

Elliot rubbed his eyes, "Make what-oh… yeah, come on," he said softly and took his hand leading him into the master bathroom.

Olivia listened to two of her favorite men talk with one another in the bathroom. She could hear the awe in Elliot's voice that Sam had actually come to him with something so entirely delicate. She heard the nervousness in Sam's voice and was equally in awe that he tried to push past it. Olivia pulled the comforter up to her chest and listened.

"Why does this happen, Dad?" Sam asked, pulling his t-shirt over his head and yawning.

Elliot was hot, achy and exhausted, but the fact that Sam had actually come and woken him up for help with this problem, floored him, "You're body is doing super strange things right now, remember?"

Sam exhaled, rubbing his belly with his hands, "I don't like it, I want it to go away," he said.

"Sam," Elliot kneeled in front of him and gently rested his hands on Sam's waist hoping his touch would be accepted. Sam tensed and Elliot lifted his hands and then gently replaced them again until his touch was appreciated, "when I was a little boy, maybe only a year older that you… this use to happen to me and I didn't like it at all, it was uncomfortable and my mom didn't let us wear boxers so it was extra uncomfortable,-"

"Do you like it now?" Sam asked innocently.

Olivia grinned under the comforter imagining the expression Elliot must be producing.

"I uh… uh." _Oh crap!_ "Yeah, Sam… it gets better," he said groaning inwardly, "Hop in the shower, son."

"That will make it go away?"

"Yeah, it should," Elliot said and was amazed when, for the first time, Sam stripped in his presence without asking him to turn around or to leave or asking where his mother was. Elliot's eyes watered at the immeasurable amount of trust Sam had just placed in him.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"What's it for?"

_Shoot me now! _

"To go to the restroom," Elliot said matter of factly.

Sam furrowed his brows, "But… Daddy Wilson… he- when he was like this… he used it for other things, and it hurt me… do you use it for other things?"

_Just one bullet. Put it in the gun and shoot me._

He cleared the nervousness from his throat, "Y-yes, but… never how Daddy Wilson did, can you trust me on that Sam? Can you trust that I wouldn't do something like that?"

"I've been with you and mom a long time now… I think I believe that you're not like Daddy Wilson, 'cause you don't yell at me," he said reaching out to Elliot through the spray of the shower, "and you don't make my body like this," he said guiding Elliot's fingertips to the scars along his small chest, "there's no spankings here, and you teach me to be a big boy."

Elliot ran his finger tip over what he knew was probably a bite mark. Sam had never allowed him to pay such attention to the scars on his body, but he did tonight, for some reason he felt comfortable enough to do it, "Can I hug you Sam?" he asked, not sure if the youngster would be willing in his current state of dress, or the reason why they were talking in the first place.

Sam stepped carefully and wrapped his arms around his father's neck, "You're so warm, Dad," he said softly.

"I'm a little sick," Elliot whispered trying not to cry, "I love you."

Sam pulled back and giggled, "I know."

"That's funny?" Elliot chuckled as Sam washed himself.

"No…it just makes me giggle," Sam said, "dad, I'm confused."

"About?"

"Well… you said it gets better… _how_ does it get better?"

_Olivia! A little help!_

"Um… well, see… a man, and then… well there's a woman, and uh… um… Sam, when your with someone you love, everything is better."

Sam furrowed his brow, rubbing his skin as he rinsed the soap off, "Is that what you mean by using it differently?"

_That's a safe question._

"Yeah," he replied shutting the water off and wrapping his son in a towel.

"But… so… how do you use it with someone you love? Is it the same way daddy Wilson did, because I don't think they so much loved me… so… I'm confused dad."

_OLIVIA!_

"No," Elliot said, running the towel over Sam's hair and draping it over his shoulders, "see, um… well okay, it's like this… I really love your mother and so that's what I mean by it gets better," he explained lamely.

Sam shook his head, "You're super confusing… if you use this with people you love, does Mom have one, because she teaches me to change the babies, and Solomon has one… that's why I don't like changing his diaper, but Hannah doesn't have one… is mom like Hannah?"

_Un-friggin-believable_.

"Yeah." Elliot said with a fake confidence.

"So… how does mom show you that she loves you?"

_Shit._

"Sam?" Olivia smiled from the bathroom door.

_Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you THANK YOU_! Elliot exhaled in relief.

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Honey, your Dad looks really pale," Olivia smiled at Elliot, she knew why he was pale, and the Pox had nothing to do with it, "would you like me to help you get dressed so Dad can go back to bed?"

Sam exhaled in confusion, "No… you guys don't explain things too good," he said walking past them, "night, mom. Night dad."

"Night son," they said in unison.

"I thought you were gonna hang me out to dry in there," Elliot told her once they returned to the bed.

"Na.. I just wanted to see what kind of trouble you could get yourself into, and I have to say… you managed to get yourself in a doosie!"

He chuckled and whished he could pull her close to him, but her body heat would be his death in his current situation, "I want to fall asleep with you against me,"

"You know you'll get too hot," she whispered touching his cheek.

He exhaled, "The only thing worse that not having you in bed next to me… is having you next to me and I can't pull you close."

She inched a little closer and found his hand in the darkness, placing it on her hip, she leaned in, kissed him softly, "Shh, go to sleep."

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"Where the hell have you been!" Paul asked frantically, concern coating his words as Casey walked into the house in a daze, "Case!" he said moving quickly to her, "you were suppose to be home hours ago!

She stood, still stunned, in tired clothes, her hair limp, her makeup smeared and in desperate need of being washed off, "Casey!" he snapped shaking her by the shoulders, "Talk to me, Baby, what happened?"

She blinked out a tear and looked at him, "I'm going to loose my job."

He was taken back, "What," he softened, "what happened?"

She broke down into his shoulder and sobbed, telling him everything.

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Two days later a grinning mother smiled down at her daughter, "Are you going to give me problems this morning?" Olivia whispered to Hannah as she rocked her in the nursery rocking chair, "Are you not hungry?" she asked, trying to get her to latch on. "You've got to be, you didn't eat enough last night, and you're eating three hours later than your brother, this morning."

Olivia went through, what had become the normal routine, with Hannah when she didn't want to latch on. Her diaper was changed and her body covered in soothing calamine to stop the uncomfortable blisters that still hadn't scabbed over. Olivia buttoned a pink onsie over her body and returned to the chair, "You know," she whispered resting her daughter on her forearm so her hand cradled her head, "out of you and Solomon and Isaac, you are the only picky eater," she chuckled bringing her back to her breast and smiling as she latched on. For Hannah, it was all about the positioning.

"I never thought I would get such a kick out of buying pink clothes," Olivia said softly and stroked her daughters hair, "you're so beautiful."

"She's a spitting image of you, Liv," Elliot said from the door, a smirk about his face.

"El," she grinned, "I didn't hear you get up, how are you feeling?"

"I'm going on the, what, third day now? I'm good… apparently you didn't hear the doorbell either huh?"

Her eyes widened, "No? Is someone here?"

He scratched the back of his neck, "Two someones actually."

Olivia looked down at Hannah who was finally happily sucking, "El, she just took hold… who is it?"

"Cragen."

"Cragen?" she furrowed her brow and motioned for a blanket that Elliot helped her cover up with. She held Hannah in the same position but locked her fingers together for added support as Hannah continued to rest on her forearms, her tiny feet near Olivia's elbow. Olivia walked behind Elliot into the living room, "Don?" she smiled and hugged him from the side in an effort to not disturb her daughter.

"How are you?" he smiled against her, "is that Solomon or Hannah under there?"

"Hannah," she grinned, "If she ever decides to finish I'll let you have burping duty."

He chuckled, "It's so good to see you… are the boys around?"

"Sam is at Alex's house… with everyone so sick, he wasn't getting good sleep, but Elliot seems to be better and Solomon's blisters have turned to scabs, it's Hannah who seems to still be running a fever periodically, and Isaac who… well, Isaac is Isaac" she explained, laughing and then finally realized Elliot was starring at the front door, "El, what are you- oh!" she gasped looking at the proud creature that had sat as still as a statue only feet from her and she hadn't even realized it, "Where did that come from?"

"Olivia," Elliot smiled and pointed to the Doberman pincher, "meet our dog… Zeus."

Olivia raised her brows in surprise, "Don?"

"It's not police K-9, but it's been trained by some of the best attack handlers in the business, he loves kids, is friendly with other dogs, responds to hand and voice signals and is trained to defend, attack and… kill if given the proper command."

"I don't understand… the last two dogs we couldn't get and… wait… why not a police K-9? How much did he cost? Who's paying? What i-"

"Olivia," Don raised his hand, "Please… count it as a late Christmas gift."

She felt Hannah break suction and she quickly fixed herself under the blanket, adjusting Hannah and removing the covering, "Why the sudden urgency, Don?"

Cragen looked at the small infant, "Wow… she looks just like you," he whispered. "She's stunning, Olivia."

Olivia blushed, "Thanks Don… but really, why the urgency all of a sudden?"

"I want you guys to be safe, that's all." And before she could protest and push him further he pointed to a file on the counter, "All of Zeus' information and his vet and insurance is in the file, his handler is also listed, you'll all need some training with the dog. I really have to get going, Fin is getting ready to break a case right now."

"Where's Mac?" Elliot asked.

Cragen exhaled, "Somewhere dark."

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"Well, I thought you were dead," Melinda smiled as Elliot and Olivia walked into her office.

"No, just… dying," he smiled, "you got a second for us?"

"Sure," she nodded and motioned for them to sit. "Where's the rest of the gang?"

"Chloe," Olivia exhaled, still a little nervous about it, but over the last several months, she'd met with Chloe, had dinner with her and ironically, took her under her wing, although the young woman seemed depressed for the last week.

"Chloe?" Warner tilted her head, "As in, Donovan's Chloe?"

"Yeah… we were in a bind," Olivia exhaled, "She lives a few blocks away, and we just needed to talk to you… it's important."

"Oh, no I'm not saying you made a bad choice in baby sitter, I've met her several times since Donovan and her have been involved but after they split she sort of fell off the face of the earth," Melinda explained.

"Split?" Elliot asked as both he and Olivia leaned forward in nosey interest.

"What happened? She hadn't said anything but, we've been preoccupied with the chicken pox." Olivia exhaled, "She sounded depressed on Christmas Elliot… we should have invited her over."

"Christmas is about right," Melinda sighed, "Donovan gave her a Chistmas gift and she broke up with him."

"See," Olivia smiled at Elliot, "that is why you better not ever get me a power tool."

Melinda smiled, "It was an engagement ring… he hasn't been to work since. I think that was the first woman he really fell for… he's such a nerd you know, but he's my best guy in the lab so maybe one of you matchmakers can work your magic and say something… I'm up to my neck in stiffs here… I know they looked up to you two guys, I swear they gushed about you two… disgusting really," she smirked, "I guess they know a good thing when they see it."

Olivia blushed, uncomfortable with the turn of the topic.

"I'll talk to Donovan and Liv, will probably meet up with Chloe soon anyway, but Melinda we need your help."

"Everyone needs my help… I need a raise," she teased, "what is it?"

"This," Elliot said withdrawing the clipping from the Christmas card and handing it to her, "We got this in the mail the day before Christmas… I opened it on Christmas… what do you think about it?"

She looked at it and smiled, "Cute picture, hey, I haven't seen the babi-oh!" she suddenly stopped and read the writing, "Well… wait, when did you get this?"

"About a week ago," he said scratching the scabs on his arm to which Olivia placed her hand over his to stop him.

"Melinda," Olivia exhaled, "say something."

"This can't be right," Melinda shook her head and held the picture up to them.

"I need your assurance," Elliot whispered, "I need someone to tell me _why_ that has to be a fake, or a prank or whatever."

"He needs to know that the signature-the name on that picture isn't real," Olivia said, taking his hand and squeezing it softly. Truth was, she needed to hear it too, she needed the assurance too.

Melinda plopped the picture back down on her desk, "Elliot. Olivia. This can't be right; because I did the autopsy on Nick Ganzner myself… he's been dead for months."


	40. Chapter 40 Sickos and Psychos

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 40: Sickos and Psychos

"Relieved?" Olivia asked as she walked down the snow-covered sidewalk with her husband.

"Sort of, I suppose," he told her softly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "But, why would someone send it to us? What's the motive?"

"Well," Olivia exhaled and stopped walking so she could look at him, focus on him and his reaction, "just like Melinda said, it's probably some nut-case that saw the picture in the paper and knows what we've been through and wanted to get their rocks off… El, let it go, huh? Melinda called Cragen… you were right there when she did it, we're fine honey. I'm fine and the kids are fine," she said softly as she rubbed his arm through his jacket and felt his forehead with her hand. "You're getting warm, I think we've overdone it today."

"I'm past the contagious stage," he said as they continued to walk, "my blisters have turned into the most irritatingly itchy scabs," he chuckled softly and followed an older couple as they opened the door to the apartment building.

"I'm still getting you home sooner, rather than later," she said softly, "and who knows, maybe I can teach Isaac how to play connect the dots on your back."

"Rough, Liv."

"I know," she smiled, "but, you're a big, strong, manly man… you can take it."

Elliot panted as they finally made it up the three flights of stairs, "This place needs an elevator."

"You're tired, because you're sick. I told you, you could wait in the car and I'd bring the kids down."

"Na," he smiled, "I like being around you."

She laughed and knocked on the door of the apartment, "I hope the babies weren't too much for her."

"This place is kind of… a dump," Elliot said as if he'd just noticed.

"Elliot!" Olivia scolded softly, least Chloe hear from the other side of the door, "she's a college student; taking care of a baby… did you think she'd stay in a penthouse?"

"Didn't she get an inheritance or a trust fund or something?"

Olivia smirked, "If you thought _I_ was tight with money… she can make Lincoln cry."

Elliot laughed just as soon as the door opened to reveal a rather haggard looking Chloe, "Hey," she gave them a broken smile and welcomed them into her apartment, that, even though the building its self seemed in disarray, Chloe kept the housework up impeccably and managed to score very nice second-hand furniture that Olivia found Isaac sitting on, in a pair of coveralls, minus the shirt, a sucker in hand. His left hand.

Olivia pulled Chloe in close and gave her a warm embrace, "Come over tonight for dinner," she whispered, "I think you need someone."

"I don't need anyone… but thanks for the invite," Chloe said and suddenly broke down, weeping in Olivia's embrace, "I think… I messed up."

"You know what?" Elliot spoke softly, "I'm gonna gather a handful of kids and I'll see you at the car, Liv."

Olivia nodded softly and rubbed Chloe's back gently, "What happened?"

"Uggh," Chloe shook her head and wiped at her tears, "nothing."

Olivia finally understood what Elliot always goes through to get something out of her, "You're almost as stubborn as I am," she said teasingly as Elliot walked past her with a sleeping baby and a sticky, polka-dotted Isaac who waved as they left.

"Mama, Bye bye!" he grinned and promptly shoved his sucker back in his mouth.

Olivia waved at her son and turned her attention back to the young woman,"Must be a pretty interesting _nothing_ to be this upset… heard you kind of fell of the face of the Earth."

"I needed some time to myself," Chloe whispered before a sleepy Matthew tugged at her pant leg.

"Water, Sissy."

"Matthew, hey buddy," Chloe smiled softly and kneeled, "You're suppose to be napping."

He giggled and wrapped his arms around her neck, she stood and took a sippie cup out of her refrigerator, offered him a drink and promptly encouraged him back to bed, "Go, hurry, go night night," she grinned and watched him bound away to the room they shared.

"You finally got him calling you sister?"

"Yeah," she grinned, "It's such a relief; I didn't want him growing up all confused about it."

"How'd you manage that?" Olivia asked as she started to gather up her last remaining baby who felt substantially cooler than when they were dropped off, "You got her fever to break?" Olivia asked, feeling about Hannah's body and smiling.

"Yeah," Chloe said softly, gathering the diaper bag.

"So," Olivia quipped, pulling Hannah close to her and smiling down at her, "how did you get Matthew to stop calling you mom?"

"Um," Chloe's chin began to quiver, "uh… that was Donovan's doing… he was very consistent with Matthew and he would refer to me as Sissy… Matthew picked up on it pretty quickly," she whispered and ran her hand through her hair biting her lip, "I'm a little tired," she whispered sadly.

Olivia tilted her head knowing full well that was just a ploy to be alone, "Look, my house is currently on chicken pox overload, but since you and Matthew have already had them… please come to dinner, you and I can talk and Matthew can play with the boys and you can laugh at Elliot when I tape the oven mitts over his hands."

Chloe sniffled and wiped a stray tear, "I'm sorry, Olivia. I know you're trying to be a friend right now, and I really appreciate it, but… I just want to crawl in bed."

Olivia exhaled, hugged her from the side and rubbed her arm vigorously, "I'll set an extra place for you and Matthew… if you show you show, but if you don't… expect to buzz me in bright and early."

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"What do we got?" Mac asked, walking into the apartment.

"Are you SVU?" A uniformed officer replied immediately.

"Apparently," Mac said sharply, "now, can you please tell me why you called me here?"

"Easy, cracker," Fin said from the other room, "he's just a kid… watch your step when you come in here… there's blood everywhere."

Mac worked his fingers into latex gloves as he walked down the hallway where Fin was, "So what do we- oh!... sonova-… how does… damnit," he whispered in shock and then covered his mouth with his forearm, turning and bolting down the hall, vomiting on the first non carpet surface he could find, the kitchen.

"First case?" a man, who Mac vaguely recognized as a homicide detective, asked with a smirk.

"No," Mac panted and gratefully accepted a towel from whomever it was that offered it, "not my first case… but, I don't think… how can someone even think of a position like that?" he said shaking his head.

"Mac!" Fin bellowed from the hall, "pick up your lunch and get back in here, I need help."

Mac changed his latex gloves, muttering as he walked back down the hall, "I need a million dollars but you don't see me gettin' it."

"What's your take?" Fin asked as soon as Mac was standing in the threshold of the bathroom.

Mac crouched down on the balls of his feet, "It's a headless corps."

Fin arched is brow, "You think?" he said sarcastically.

Mac smacked his lips and shook his head looking at the headless body propped up on the toilet, the body's own hands holding it's head, the body's penis in the head's mouth, "We're dealing with a pretty sick individual," Mac murmured, extracting his pen from his shirt pocket and attempting to place it between the fingers of the body and the head it was caressing. "He took the time to glue the fingertips to the head… that's a special kind of sicko."

Fin exhaled, "Keep lookin', I think you'll see it's a special kind of _psycho_."

"How so?" Mac asked softly, his focus split between Fin and the body. Mac carefully slid the pen into the outer parts of the body's lips and gasp when it hit the penis, "How the hell did the perp get a dead man's penis erect?"

"A rod," Melinda said, suddenly joining their conversation and kneeling next to the victim, no wincing or vomiting or any other sign that she was disturbed by this scene.

"A rod?" Mac looked at her in disbelief. "Do I want to know?"

She smirked and pointed with latex covered fingers, "See here," she asked pointing to the extreme tip of the penis. "At first, I thought it was a piercing, but… well… it's not," she exhaled, "I've never seen anything as sick as this."

Mac shook his head and looked at Fin who simply shook his own, "Just when I think I've seen the sickest kind of sick, some slime ball makes me second guess myself."

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"You look a little blue," Elliot whispered, snaking an arm around Olivia's waist and kissing her softly on the back of the neck, "anything I can do?"

She let her head fall forward, felt his tongue caress the curve of her shoulder, his lips, his breath, "Well," she smiled and tightened his embrace at her belly button, "you could keep doing that."

He grinned, she had finally, after only two or three hours of talking it through, convinced him that the Christmas card was more than likely a fluke, some guy they'd put away exacting his revenge by trying to cast a shadow over their Christmas, "Why the long face?" he asked her gently.

"I'm so exhausted," she confessed, "I can't even think straight, and to be honest… I feel disgustingly fat."

"You just gave me two beautiful babies," he reminded her, as if the 2a.m feedings and current chicken pox weren't enough of a reminder.

"I lost my weight from Isaac, so quick… I just feel… not in shape, not fit," sighed, "and my body is killing me, and I'm tired, and I'm getting grumpy and… I'm complaining-I'm sorry," she whispered and turned in his arms, "I'm sorry, El. I didn't mean to just start rattling like that, I-"

He kissed her lips gently, "It's okay… you've got to be overwhelmed, I had the kids for a few hours and I had to call Paul for help," he grinned in embarrassment and kissed her forehead before resting his against hers, "know what?"

She pulled back, "You're still a little warm, that's what," she smirked.

"Stop worry about me," he smiled softly, caressing her hair in his hand, "I invited Donovan over for dinner tonight, and he'll be here."

Olivia's eyes widened in shock, "I invited Chloe over!"

Elliot's mouth fell open, "I heard that… I thought she said no."

Olivia groaned, "I twisted her arm… she called me while you were soaking in the tub and told me she and Matthew would be here."

Elliot shook his head, "Okay, okay… this is workable, um… I can just take Donovan to a pub or something and leave you two to… uh oh," he raised his brows at the look on Olivia's face, "Liv… why do you have that whole Lucy Ricardo look going on, right now?"

"This is perfect," Olivia said, mulling the situation over in her mind, "I told Chloe six, what time did you tell Donovan?"

"Seven thirty," Elliot sighed, "what are you going to drag me into, tonight?"

Olivia grinned, "This is what we're gonna do-"

"_We're_?"

She smirked, pulled him to her by his buckle loops and kissed him playfully, "_We're_… you in, or are you gonna wuss out on me?"

He smiled, captured her lips and palmed her bottom, "I'm in."

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"Donovan," Melinda growled into the phone, "you'd better pick up the damn phone, this is the third call I've put in… do you even check your message machine?... Donovan?" she exhaled into the receiver, knew he probably _was_ listening to his messages as they were being recorded, "Donovan," her voice softened, "look, I really understand that you're in a rough spot, but I'm getting slammed and… you know, I have half the mind to think you're gonna make me say this, but… look you're the best guy I got, I n-"

"Melinda?" Donovan exhaled into the receiver, "What do you want?"

"Your bony ass in the office," she replied with a small smile and wondered if he could hear it.

"You didn't get my resignation?" he muttered.

"Your resignation?" she questioned, "No… was I supposed to? Are you quitting?"

"As of the 26th," he exhaled sadly.

"Damn secretary," Melinda exhaled, "Well… that just means that you're _technically_ still employed… look if it helps-how's this?" she cleared her throat, "Oh, Great Donovan of the New York Medical Examiner's Office… I beseech you this day-"

He groaned and she heard the smile in his voice, "You know I love flattery."

"I'll see you in twenty minutes?"

"Yeah… but look, I've got dinner at the Stablers house tonight, and I'm not missing it. I don't care if you've got Bill Clinton slabbed in there."

"What about Hillary?" she asked in curiosity, "Would you stay if I had Hillary Clinton slabbed?"

He groaned, "Twenty minutes!"

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"Liv you're exhausted," Elliot whispered, taking Hannah out of her arms as she fought sleep in the rocking chair. Olivia mumbled weakly, as he laid Hannah in the crib, "Liv… you can't even make a coherent protest, come on," he said helping her to her feet, "the kids are sleeping, Sam is talking to Crystal on the phone," he informed her leading her to their room and helping her onto the bed.

He pulled a blanket that Isaac had discarded on their bed, over her body, "I want you to get some sleep, I'm well enough that I can pull my weight around here too. I'm gonna run to the store and get some stuff for tonight and-"

"No!" she said sitting up and pulling him back to her, "No, Elliot, you're still a little warm."

"Liv-"

She framed his face, "You're not leaving this house, Mister."

He smiled, "Liv… I'm just gonna get some groceries."

"No," she shook her head and pulled him into the bed next to her, wrapping her arms around him, "No… please, will you just rest with me? I'm so tired."

He smiled, "You want me to rest with you because you _want_ me here… or because you don't want me to over do it."

"I always want you here," she assured him, a kiss on his neck, "but, I also want you well… and that means not over doing it."

He exhaled, accepted defeat and tightened her embrace around his waist, "Go to sleep, Baby."

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"Case?" Paul whispered, seeing her sobbing over their son as she held him in their office chair. When she said nothing, he pulled his chair up next to her and sat down, his hand on her thigh, "Casey… it's gonna be okay."

She sniffled, "Can we afford for me to loose my job? Can we afford this house?" she asked tightening her embrace on Addison who began to squirm from the close proximity, "What about Addison? College isn't cheap and… what if we wanted to have another baby?"

"Hey," he smiled softly and took Addison, lowered him to the ground and watched his son take off like a miniature rocket as he crawled about the office.

"Paul… I can't loose my job."

"Casey," he whispered framing her face, "honey, I make enough money, you know you've never had to work, you could stay home, or you could go back to school for something else or you could start your own firm-"

"I'm so scared," she whispered.

He pulled her gently off of the chair and slid her into his lap, "Tell me, talk."

She sniffled, "We have to tell them, and when we do… I won't just be fired… I'll be disbarred; I'll never practice law again."

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"You're late," Melinda scolded, tossing a jacket to Donovan.

"Beggars can't be choosers," he muttered grabbing his face shield from her desk and then pausing, holding up a letter and turning to her with a smirk, "I thought you didn't get my resignation?"

She raised her brow, took it from his hand and placed it in the shredder, "I didn't."

"So manipulative," he chuckled and placed the shield over his face, following her into the examination room.

"Who's the lucky candidate today?"

She handed him a file as they walked to the refrigeration units, "It's uh… interesting."

"Oh!" he screeched looking down at the photos, "What the- that is just nasty."

"Took me an hour and paint thinner to get the glue off,"

"Glue?"

"I'm not even gonna tell you about the metal rod," she exhaled opening up the holding unit and pulling the slab out, "Ta da! Instant stiff… pun intended."

Donovan arched his brow, "Come on… you couldn't have removed it?"

"Not without an assistant," she smiled, "help me out with this guy, let's get him on the table."

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"Sam!" Elliot whispered loudly into his room, "Sam, I need your help on a covert mission."

"You're busted, mom's gonna flip if she knows you're out of bed," Sam informed him.

"You're mother is sleeping like a lion… even making the snoring sound."

Sam chuckled, "Mom doesn't snore."

"Bull!" Elliot grinned, "When she's really super tired, she inhales like the wind over the ocean!"

Sam's mouth went slack, "Dad," he said softly, "you shouldn't talk about my mom like that."

Elliot's grin faltered, "Oh, son… that's a joke between me and her… I'm sorry."

Sam suddenly grinned, "Gotch'ya!"

Elliot raised his brows in surprised and laughed, gently pushing Sam; tickling him until he thought for sure the youngster's laugh would turn to crying… or wetting, "Well… look who's suddenly turning into the comedian."

"What's the mission, Dad?" Sam asked, worming his way into Elliot's lap.

Still surprised that Sam was willing to let him wrestle with him, hold him in his lap, tease him, all without Olivia immediately close, Elliot wrapped his arms comfortably around him, "I'm gonna sneak out of the house-"

"Oh, you're so dead… this is good, Dad," Sam said excitedly.

"I'm dead, and you think this is good?"

"No!" he giggled, "You're being sneaky, so you're trying to surprise, Mom… that's good because she's been so sad that she can't fit into her old clothes and it makes me sad too, 'cause we can't do karate."

"Oh," Elliot paused not having fully understood how depressed Olivia had been. He made a few mental notes. Okay, I'm gonna sneak out of the house, but if the babies cry, you've got to be the man of the house and help them so mom can sleep-"

"You mean, so she doesn't wake up and find out you're not here," Sam smiled, "I'm nine… I can keep my ears on the babies, and Isaac is still sleeping in the living room."

"Alrighty then… it's a deal, huh?"

"Yeah… cost ya a dollar," Sam smirked, "Alex taught me that… she's very happy, now. I hear in her voice how happy she is and it makes my heart smile,"

"Did you have fun with them?"

Sam's face faultered momentarily before he smiled, "Yeah… killed Robert in chess again… you should have seen it Dad, crushed him."

Elliot laughed and kissed him on the temple, "Alright, I'm gonna head out… you got a handle on this?"

Sam grinned, "Check."

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"What's this cat's name anyway?" Donovan asked, examining the serrated flesh of the body's neck.

"Let's see," Melinda flipped the chart open, "Mr. Headless-Horseman is affectionately known to his family as," she flipped to the front page, "Ah, here we go… Larry Ville."

"And why do you suppose Mr. Ville has found himself in such a precarious situation?" Donovan murmured measuring a flap of loosely hanging skin and making a notation on his clip board. "This guy, died a gruesome death, there's no way around it."

"My thoughts exactly," she exhaled, examining the torso of the body, "speaking of suffering… I almost died without you here."

"'Cause I'm so sexy you couldn't handle in here without me?" he asked, scraping metal shaving's from the nub of neck bone sticking out. "The prep just… sawed on through."

"Yeah, that's it," she rolled her eyes, "you're just too dang sexy, you provide all of my heat in this cold autopsy room," she said sarcastically and motioned to the shaving, "serrated knife?"

"I'm not sure. Definitely low quality, a good one wouldn't have produced shavings like that, maybe a steak knife or bread knife-"

"You think this guy got his head cut off with a steak knife? That better be one big steak knife."

"You notice the wrists?"

"Yeah… he was probably tied up-"

"Stabbed in the jugular," Donovan told her. "And then sawed through from there. There should have-"

"Been a lot of blood… there was in the bedroom, there was also traces of chemicals used to knock him out… my guess is-"

He cut her off, looked at her, "Perp, sneaks into the apartment in the middle of the night, covers his mouth as he sleeps…"

"Ties him up and stabs him in his neck… which is consistent with the bedroom. There was blood everywhere… he was drug into the bathroom and posed."

"Sucks to be him." Donovan exhaled, "Want to help me flip him?"

"Sure."

They tugged, grunted and pulled, "I swear, dead bodies do not cooperate," Donovan complained and then casually inserted, "by chance… has Chloe called for me?"

Melinda exhaled, "No… want to talk about it?"

"I already told you what happened," he said, examining the body and frowning at the large arrow that was literally cut out of the man's buttock flesh. The arrow pointing to the rectum. "Yeah… there are some things I'm not doing… I don't care if I'm an assistant or not… you forced me to have rod duty… this is too much."

"I'll roshambo you for it," Melinda offered.

He shook his head, "I think you should be ashamed of your self for watching a program like South Park."

"I could just order you to do it," she said with a smirk and held out her hand for the game, "Come on."

"Fine… one… two … three," he groaned seeing his rock get covered with her paper, "Best two out of three?"

She rolled her eyes and won the second round, "I'm not giving you three out of five… now, stick your finger in that mans anus."

"And what if there's a bomb or something?" he suggested, stalling.

She tilted her head, "Look, I'll spread'em… you dig."

"You're disgusting, you know that?"

"Next time, you'll tell me what happened between you and Chloe," she smirked.

"I did," he said softly, "I… asked her to marry me and she… jumped out of my bed, took Matthew and… I went to her apartment and she changed the locks… the super wouldn't let me in," he said in misery. "But, hey," he forced a bright tone, "I'll be paying for a wedding set for the next three years… two percent interest, not bad huh?" he exhaled. "I thought… I really thought she felt the same way about me."

"Give her some time to sort things out," Melinda told him, "She's not even twenty-one… you two are both young… she's probably scared."

"Were you scared when Cleo proposed?"

Melinda laughed, "I'm still scared… every single day. I love that man, and if I ever lost him… I'd self destruct."

Donovan nodded and looked back at the awaiting anus, "I fulfilled my side of the bargain and told you that my girlfriend kicked me to the curb… happy digging."

She smirked, "You know how…I _didn't_ _get_ you're resignation?"

"Yeah… you're very dishonest," he grinned under his face shield.

"Exactly," she told him handing him a tool, "like I said, I'll spread'em and you'll dig."

"You are the epitome of evil."

She arched her brows, "Never said I wasn't. Now, will you please, get it done before I die of hunger?"

He exhaled in defeat as she spread the buttocks of the corpse, "Oh, score," Donovan smiled. "Looks like I don't have to go into fecal land after all," he said pointing to the red piece of twine and reading the small label, "Pull me."

"Hmm," Melinda looked on as he started to pull slowly and carefully at the string, "maybe _it is_ a bomb."

He froze and looked at her, shook his head at her grin, "I could have pissed myself."

"Ohh, that would have been classic," she laughed, "come on, I want to know what happens next," she teased.

He groaned and continued pulling.

"BOOM!" Melinda yelled.

Donovan startled, stepped back and fumbled along the countertop, "Damnit Melinda! You're gonna give me a heart attack!"

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes, "You're five, for crying out loud… pull this thing out of his butt so I can get on with my life."

He proceeded to pull, "You're a very rotten person."

"Thank you," she murmured as he finally extracted the contents from Larry Ville's rectum, "Oh, nice… what is it?"

He looked at her and blinked, "Because I'm an expert of things removed from butt holes?"

"No," she smiled, "because you _are_ a butt hole."

He shook his head, made various notations as to the small object that appeared to be saran-wrapped and tied to the yarn. After several minutes he handed it to her, "You can have the honors."

Carefully, she removed the yarn, and the saran-wrap speaking aloud as to various findings, fibers and other useful information, "its paper. Maybe…I don't know- two inches by seven… hand me the ruler?"

He did so and he watched as she unrolled the tightly rolled piece of paper. Her eyebrows arched when she read the phrase after she took the measurements."

"What's it say?"

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Sam carefully extracted Solomon from the crib and tried to sooth him, "Man… you're fat," Sam whispered and placed him carefully against his shoulder. "What's wrong? Hungry? You can't be hungry. Dad said he fed you before he left," Sam informed the fussy infant and stroked his skin softly. "Oh… you don't have any medicine on you, it doesn't feel like it," he said, lowering his nose to Solomon's skin and taking in the scent trying to separate, lotion from soap and struggling to identify calamine, "Nope, you got nothin'," he exhaled and felt around the area his mother had shown him to have the medicine.

Olivia had been careful to include Sam in all aspects of care for the babies, primarily because she wanted him comfortable around the babies but also because she knew he wanted to feel like he could do anything that anyone else could, and she would see to it that he did, "Okay, got it," Sam muttered and took Solomon into the living room, laying him on the couch and unbuttoning his onsie just like he'd been shown.

"Shh," Sam cooed softly and opened the bottle of medicine, letting the smell caress his nostrils just to be sure it was what he was wanting. He gently rubbed it over his brother, "You're all scabbed up… you're itchy, huh?" he whispered and continued to care for his brother without any other cares.

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"Sam Sam, Mama?" Isaac said gruffly and crawled up next to his brothers on the couch, "Hurt Sam Sam."

"You hurt?" Sam asked softly, "Do you want the stuff that makes it not itch?"

"Mama?"

"Sleeping."

"Want Mama."

"Can't have her… deal."

Isaac furrowed his brows and stuck his bottom lip out, checking to see if Sam noticed. When Sam continued about his business of feeding Solomon, Isaac tilted his head to the side, examining his brother, trying to figure out why he never looked at him like mommy and daddy did. Isaac reached over and pulled the bottle out of Solomon's mouth and tossed it to the floor producing a thud.

"Isaac! Rude, man!" Sam scolded.

"Lookit!" Isaac said, and jetted his lip out putting on his best 'sad face' for his brother to see.

"I can't," Sam told him casually. "Get the bottle, Isaac."

"No baba! Lookit!' Isaac said again and pointed to his pout lip.

Sam groaned and turned his face in the direction of Isaac's voice in hopes that would appease him so he could retrieve the bottle and continue feeding Solomon who was already starting to protest loudly in regards to the lack of sustenance, "Yeah, I see… you're cute… get the bottle."

What Sam couldn't see was that when he turned his head, he'd over compensated and wasn't looking anywhere near Isaac's eyes. Frustrated, Isaac slipped off of the couch and picked up the bottle slamming it back on the ground, "LOOKIT ME!"

Solomon yelled.

"No, Olo!" Isaac said slapping the baby's leg.

"MOM!" Sam yelled through the house, "MOM!"

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She'd been dreaming about making love to Elliot, felt the sensation of his mouth over breasts that hadn't felt the caress of his lips in a long time. The gentle grind of his hips against hers, until a thud tumbled her into reality. She'd rolled to snuggle closer to Elliot, surprised to find a note instead. She yawned unfolding it and blinking hard to bring it into focus before holding it farther away, "Glasses," she muttered and finally adjusted to the print.

'_Hey Sexy: I snuck out! Love you more than you know. –El.'_

She grinned and pulled his pillow close, letting his scent guide her back into a dream that was full of sex that was pure, and innocent, instead of her standard twisted dreams, but when 'mom' crashed through her ear drums, not once but twice, she frantically shot up and literally crawled off of the foot of the bed, stumbling and stubbing her toe on the door frame. Pushing the pain away, she darted down the hallway to see her boys yelling, Solomon's yell was easy to identify: hunger.

It was Isaac and Sam she had to audibly separate as she first watched in curiosity out of their way, "LOOKIT!" Isaac screeched.

"Stop hitting!" Sam warned.

Isaac swatted Solomon again and Sam moved him protectively to the side, "MOM!"

"No!" Olivia finally made her presence known.

Isaac stopped instantly at the sound of his mother's growl, he turned on the tears before she even got to him, "You. Do not. Hit!" she scolded, kneeling in front of him.

He tried to jerk free of her hold on his wrist, "Sam Sam no lookit me!" he told her as he pointed to Sam who was trying desperately to sooth his littlest brother.

Sam ignored Isaac and quickly found the bottle, sitting up and repositioning his brother on the couch, the bottle finally in his mouth, the screaming finally dealt with. Sam exhaled running his hands over his hair.

"Lookit me!" Isaac blared again.

"I CAN'T LOOK AT YOU!" Sam yelled as he rose to his feet.

"Sam," Olivia said softly, finally understanding that Isaac must have realized there was no eye contact between them, "Honey, he doesn't understand that your eyes-"

"I CAN'T SEE!" Sam yelled, "That's not my fault!" he cried and stormed past them both, taking extra care to slam his door as hard as possible.

"Sam Sam mad?" Isaac asked innocently as he sat on his mother's leg as if nothing happened.

"Yep… and you're on a time out, buster."

"No!" he folded his arms over his chest, "No outie!"

"You don't hit your brother," she told him, "there's no warnings on that, you understand?"

He stuck his tongue at her.

_You are your father's son_.

"Couch. Now. Five minutes," she pointed to the opposite couch. "Move it or loose it, Buddy."

"Ooze it," he smiled at her.

She picked him up and firmly planted him on the seat cushion, "Sit. No moving. No talking."

"Talkies!" he grinned and pointed to her lips, "Talkies Mama!"

"No," she said covering his lips with her finger. "Five minutes."

He produced another pouted lip and she kneeled in front of him, "Doesn't even phase me," she lied. Truth was, she hated disciplining Isaac, but it was absolutely necessary. Obedience was a must.

She gently picked Solomon up and lowered herself next to Isaac who was already crying and fussing at his sentencing. Olivia shushed him and put Solomon into his arms, supporting him with pillows, "Soft, honey," she told Isaac and handed him the bottle, helping him guide it to Solomon's mouth, "he's a hungry boy and he always needs his bottle," she smiled stroking Solomon's hair. "This is how you treat your brother… soft, we don't hit."

Isaac looked down at Solomon who looked straight back at him, "Olo lookit me," Isaac smiled then looked towards his and Sam's room, "Sam Sam no lookit me," he said sadly.

"Sam loves you," she told him, running her hand through his curly blond hair, smiling that it was finally reaching his shoulders. She didn't want to cut it. She had her marine husband, her mohawked Sam and thinning Solomon, she loved the long curly Isaac.

"Love Sam Sam," Isaac grinned and raised his finger to his nose, "Shhh! Olo sweeping."

Olivia grinned and gently removed the infant, putting him in the nearby play pin, "You sit here," she told Isaac, "you're still on time out, understand?"

He stuck out his bottom lip and plopped back on the couch watching her as she left to talk to Sam.

"Honey?" Olivia whispered, perching herself on Sam's bed and rubbing his back softly. She felt his body shudder with his sobs as he lay on his belly, "Baby, come here," she told him and helped him into her lap, a kiss on his forehead as she rocked him, "he didn't mean it, Son… I promise… he doesn't understand that you can't see."

"It's not my fault, Mom," he sniffled into her chest.

She kissed his forehead again, "No, its not."

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She snuck up on him, waited until he put down the bag on the bed and then jumped him from behind, taking him playfully to the mattress, he caught his weight on his hands, "You are so busted, Mr. Stabler," Olivia grinned kissing his neck. "You feel really cool… feeling better?"

"Yeah," he smiled, and simply pushed off of the bed, effectively giving her a piggy back ride, "if you wanted a ride… all you had to do was ask."

She wrapped her legs around his middle and whispered from behind, "Zeus' handler is going to stop by before Chloe gets here, oh and by the way… When I was thinking of a ride, I wasn't thinking piggy back."

He grinned at her mischievousness, "What were you thinking about?"

"I don't know," she said playfully, "maybe… a cowboy hat or something along those lines," she said and simply slipped off of him as the door bell rang.

He watched her leave, tried to control himself and quickly made his way to his box, writing frantically on a piece of paper and shoving it inside with a boyish grin.

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"Zeus is an excellent dog," the impecibly sculptured handle who' shirt indicated his name was Doug.

"He's freaky," Olivia said looking at the dog.

"How so?" Doug asked her as he gently pet the dog's head.

"I don't know," she shrugged, "he just sits, so still, you really don't see him in the room, and then he suddenly scares the crap out of you."

Doug laughed, "You're uncomfortable with him… that's understandable, but I can assure you, I've raised Zeus since he was two days old. He's bottle fed and always on the top of his game. Why do you think he cost you so much?" he smirked.

"By the way," Elliot interjected, "exactly how much was Zeus?"

"Well, I can't tell you that, Mr. Cragen asked that you not know. However, I will tell you that the run of the mill trained attack dog can run about three to five thousand dollars… and let me put it to you this way, Zeus is the best of the best."

"What makes him so good?" Elliot asked in disbelief.

Doug smirked, and almost whispered a command to which Zeus suddenly morphed into something entirely different. Standing on all fours, snarling and barking, the hair on his back standing on edge.

Elliot and Olivia jumped back and almost into eachothers arms, "Okay! We get it!" Olivia said, digging into Elliot's arm with her nails and literally trying to get behind him… as he tried to get behind her.

Doug laughed, called the dog off and Elliot and Olivia shook their heads watching the dog simply sit and wag his tail, "As time goes by," Doug explained, "Zeus will respond only to your commands-"

"No," Olivia shook her head, "I have to young boys… I need to feel that they're safe… that this dog can be kept in check by a two year old."

Doug smiled, "Zeus knows hand signals, and will respond accordingly… you're goal is to teach the two year old how to be friends with the dog, Mr. Cragen told me you had another dog… you're boys need to know that this dog is slightly different, but just as loveable."

Elliot arched his brow, "Loveable?"

Doug kneeled infront of Zeus, "Nice to meet you Mr. Zeus."

Zeus raised his paw and let Doug shake it before returning it to the floor.

Doug stood, "Zeus hug."

Zeus raised up on his hind legs and placed his front paws on the man's hips, receiving a vigorus rub about his neck and ribs before being let down, "Zeus," Doug made a fake gun out of his hand and pointed at him, "Bang! You're dead!" Zeus collapsed to the ground and stilled immediately, "Good boy," Doug smiled and brought the dog back to a sitting position, "He's not a killer… unless you need him to be."

Elliot and Olivia looked at one another and nodded their agreement, "Okay… what do we need to do?"

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"Chloe!" Olivia raised her brows, "you're early… come in."

"I'm sorry, Olivia," she exhaled, "I just… I didn't wan to be at the house and Matthew was driving me nuts and my studying is going nowhere an-"

"You don't have to explain," Olivia smiled and took the sleeping boy from her arms, "I'll lay him down on the couch, huh?"

"Please," she pulled off her jacket and hung it on the foyer hook, "anything I can help with… since I'm early."

Realizing Chloe needed the distraction she willingly gave it to her, "I was thinking spaghetti, sound good?"

"Yeah," Chloe smiled softly and moved to give Matthew a kiss on his cheek and tuck him in just a little tighter. Olivia smiled watching the interaction, "Are the kids here?" Chloe asked, opening the refrigerator and pulling needed items.

"Yep, babies and Isaac are lying down with their father and Sam… well, he's had a rough afternoon, he's taking a break and listening to an audio book, I got him to come out and do some training with the new dog, but other than that, he currently, wants nothing to do with the human species," she explained placing a pot of water on the stove.

"You got the boys a new dog? Where is it? What happened to Tripod?"

"Tripod is probably snuggled up to Sam right now," Olivia smiled, picturing the scene and,

"Zeus has been sitting in the corner the whole time."

"Zeus?" Chloe furrowed her brow and looked around, gasping at the animal that sat proudly at attention as if guarding some sacred ground. Perhaps he was. "Wow… what. Is. That?" Chloe raised her brows.

"Chloes meet Zeus…. Zeus come."

Zeus made his way to Chloe and sat on Olivia's command, "Shake."

Zeus raised his paw and Chloe hesitantly took it, "Wow… crazy… it's looks like he could rip someone's head off."

Olivia laughed wanting to show her the good, fun aspects she'd learned about Zeus, "He knows Bang You're Dead."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Olivia smirked, "he's kind of cute once you get past the whole, still-and-silent thing he's got going."

Chloe laughed as Olivia sent the dog away. She took a breath and came up with, "How's the chicken pox these days?" Lame.

"Honey," Olivia exhaled, "I'm a pretty safe person to talk to… if you need to talk, and I'm standing right here."

Chloe exhaled and shifted onto the stool, "I don't need to talk."

Olivia smirked and shook her head, "You're obstinate," she tossed a carrot to her. "Salad," she explained and Chloe began to shred the carrot before stopping and exhaling, "I miss him," she whispered.

"Call him," Olivia told her softly as she prepared the hamburger meat, "you've got to talk to him, that's what relationships are all about, talking and talking and talking and talking and then when you're done talking and you think you've mastered communication… you talk some more," Olivia explained. _Wow, Vivian is paying off._

"No one has ever listened… why would he?"

"Elliot talked to him on the ph-"

"Is he okay? How is he doing? Is he taking care of himself, because he doesn't eat right and he-"

"Whoa," Olivia touched her forearm, "honey, it's obvious you're worried about him… what's going on? Will you please just talk to me? I might be able to help you."

Chloe exhaled and buried her hands in her hair starring at the countertop, "I slept with him… on Christmas Eve."

"Did he hurt you? Force you?"

"Oh," she groaned, "No… no he's an amazing guy; he'd never do that to me."

"So… it was good, then?" Olivia asked massaging seasonings into the meat.

Chloe blushed a bright red and looked away.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Olivia laughed and took a sip of water. "So… what's the deal? Why run?"

"We woke up on Christmas morning and… I don't know, one second I'm just happy being in his arms and the next second he tells me he loves me and wants to marry me and is trying to slip a ring on my finger, and… I don't know… the only think I could think to do was get Matthew from the couch and get out as fast as possible," she exhaled and leaned back on the chair.

_Olivia Benson, will you marry me?_

_I have to go… I'm sorry._

"I ran from Elliot," Olivia confessed for the sole purpose of showing Chloe that things were still fixable, "it crushed him, but he stuck it out and waited… but that was only because _I let him_ stick it out with me," she told the young woman. "If you want to be with him, tell him why you're scared, ask him to wait with you, let you go at your own pace, and if he really loves you… he'll stay. Trust me, if there is one thing I've learned through this whole marriage thing… when a man loves a woman, he'll stick to her through hell and back."

"He's a good guy… I don't want to put him through hell. I don't want him to have to handle my baggage," she confessed.

"Is that what you think you are? Baggage?"

"I'm not even twenty-one and I have a small child… my family wasn't… well, they were less than model and, I mean… why would someone want me when they can have anyone?"

Olivia grinned, "Probably, because you're the one he wants."

"Hey, Chloe!" Elliot smiled sneakily, walking down the hallway with Isaac in his arms.

"Owee!" Isaac grinned and squirmed free to run to her and hug her leg.

"Hey," Chloe smiled, "And you have boxers on! Good boy."

Isaac grinned and promptly pulled his boxers down and handed them to her before running away.

"Hey!" Olivia called after him, "Hey, naked, come and get your underwear back on. Now, Monkey!"

Elliot redirected his son back to Chloe who handed over the offending garment. Isaac sighed and attempted to put them back on but quickly decided not to and bolted to his room, "Sam Sam, naked!" he giggled.

"Streaker," Olivia groaned.

"Nice to see you, Elliot," Chloe said softly, "How are the pox?"

"Itchy, so itchy… if I had a gun I'd shoot myself!"

Chloe arched her brow and looked at Olivia.

"Don't pay attention to him," Olivia said, stirring noodles in a pot, "he's very dramatic… going for an Emmy this month."

Chloe laughed. A healthy deep laugh. A needed laugh.

"Chloe," Elliot slipped on his jacket, "you mind if I move your car?"

"My car?"

"Yeah… uh, I need to get some stuff out of the SUV and you're blocking me."

"Oh," Chloe stood, "well, I can move it; I know you're not feeling well, I'll do it."

"NO!" Olivia suddenly jumped in and immediately softened once she realized she jumped in a little too loudly, "Um… I mean, no, we're in the middle of a good conversation… Elliot doesn't mind the cold."

Chloe raised her brows at the couple in front of her and shook her head handing him the keys, "Whatever works."

Elliot smiled, took the keys and walked outside to block Chloe's car behind theirs so it couldn't be seen.

"So, where were we?" Olivia asked pouring sauce into a pan and turning the heat low.

"We were just discussing the biggest mistake I've made."

"Ah yeah, and I was just gonna ask, if you know it's a mistake that you ran… why not go back to him? Why keep running?"

"Because I'm saving him."

Olivia paused, "Huh?"

"This is the best thing for him," Chloe whispered through emotion, "he deserves so much better than anything I can give him… than anything I can do for him."

"So… you think that, by crushing him… you're saving him? Please tell me you can see the error in that logic," Olivia said softly, "you're not saving him… you're killing him."

Chloe wiped at her tears and buried her face in her hand, "I don't know what to do."

Olivia adjusted the heat to the stove, came alongside the young woman and wrapped her arm around her shoulder, "Have you told him about your parents?"

She sniffled, "No, and…" she shook her head.

"And what?"

"I slept with him… and he doesn't even really know who I am or where I come from."

Olivia took into consideration Chloe's young age, her previous statement and family life, "First time?"

She bit her lip, "Yeah."

Olivia exhaled, brought her close and continued to hold her, "You've got to talk to him if you want this to work… otherwise, one day you'll find he's not there, that he's moved on, and you'll be devastated."

Chloe took in a deep breath and exhaled, "I think I'm already devastated… you're right."

Elliot made his way back into the house, cast Olivia a sly smile she understood to say, 'mission accomplished. Proceed to stage two.' "Sam?"

"Still in his room," Olivia said passing Chloe a tissue, "If you go in there, try and get some clothes on Isaac, please and make sure Zeus isn't in Isaac's bed… again."

Elliot shook his head and gave Chloe a gentle silent hug before simply stepping away from the women and into his sons' room, surprised to find both boys asleep, Isaac naked in his bed under a thin blanket. Zeus next to him, awake and alert. Elliot withdrew a pair of boxers from Isaac's dresser and delicately placed them on his body and kissed his cheek before turning Sam's radio off, kissing him softly on the cheek and making sure Tripod was curled close to Sam. Elliot turned back to Zeus, "Off."

Immediately Zeus got off of the bed and promptly laid on his bedding in the corner of the room.

"Good dog," Elliot said softly and left the room. "Out like a light," he told Olivia, "I'm gonna go to the office and get some paperwork done, if that's okay?"

"Yeah," Olivia smiled, "dinner is in about ten minutes."

Elliot smiled and signaled to her that he'd already called Donovan when he was moving Chloe's car and he was on his way.

Chloe set the table as Olivia strained noodles, seasoned bread and eventually, after several minutes the table was adorned with food and proper settings, Isaac's high chair readied. Chloe suddenly gasped looking at Isaac who was simply holding his boxers up to her again, "I thought you were asleep, little boy," she smiled down at Isaac.

"No sleepies!"

"Of course not," Chloe grinned then raised a brow.

Olivia shook her head, "Isaac… you can't just go around giving women you're underwear… there are laws against that," she smiled and kissed him. Chloe tossed her the boxers and helped him back into them, "Ready for dinner?"

He smiled, "Fooooood."

"Yep. In your chair, hurry… little jump," she said and quickly sat him in his chair, snapping him in before he could fuss, "Haha," Olivia teased, "you got locked up."

He grinned, "Fooooood."

"Spaghetti,"

He laughed and kicked his feet, "Etties!"

"Sissy?" Matthew groaned from the couch and instantly began to cry at the surroundings.

"Hey," Chloe smiled from the table, "Come here, Matthew, you're okay." He went to her instantly and crawled into her lap as the doorbell rang.

"Maddie!" Isaac squeaked, pointing at Matthew who hid in his sister's embrace.

"I got it!" Elliot bellowed from the hall as Olivia took a seat ready for a showdown between two people that she wasn't sure if this was gonna work with or not, "Liv, get Sam," he said opening the front door and talking softly. Olivia knew, there was no way Sam was coming to the dinner table, he'd been so upset earlier that even after she held him, he'd asked her to leave the room so he 'could be by himself'. She kept an eye on him, peeked in periodically.

Chloe was so busy talking to her little brother, soothing him into wakefulness, that she hadn't realized that Elliot and another person were standing by the table, Olivia nervously fidgeting in her chair, "You remember Olivia's house," Chloe said softly in his ear. Matthew looked over and his eyes went large seeing Donovan.

"VAN!" he screeched and slipped out of Chloe's arms and threw himself at Donovan who happily picked him up and kissed his cheeks.

"Hey, Hercules," he grinned, "man, what has Sissy been feeding you? You must have gained ten-thousand pounds."

"Big boy," Matthew laughed and rested his head on Donovan's shoulder.

Elliot spoke nervously, "Uh…look what Zeus drug in?"

Chloe's face crumbled and she looked away quickly, sliding her chair out and taking Matthew out of his arms, "Come on, brother, we have to go."

"Hungry," Matthew told her in confusion as he tried to hold onto Donovan, "Van! I want Van."

She pried him away gently, refusing to look at the pained look on Donovan's face as she walked to the front door, only to find that her keys were still with Elliot, "Can I have my keys please?"

"I'll get them," Olivia said, standing to her feet, "come on," she motioned for Chloe to follow. She reluctantly did and ended up in their office.

"I can't believe you did this to me, Olivia… I trusted you," Chloe whispered as tears fell.

Olivia exhaled standing in the threshold as Chloe paced with a fussy toddler in her arms, "I know you're upset right now, but this is for your benefit… sometimes you need someone to step in-"

"And that's what we're doing," Elliot said moving past Olivia and taking Matthew as Donovan filed in behind him effectively forcing Chloe to deal with the situation. "But please," Elliot smiled, "make up quick… my wife and I are starving," he smirked and closed the door behind him.

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"Ma!" Isaac yelled from the kitchen high chair and pointed to Elliot, "Dada lookit me," he said and looked back at the bedroom where Sam had still barricaded himself inside, "Sam Sam no lookit me," he told her again as if the situation of his older brother not being able to see him deeply troubled him and Olivia understood that it did.

"Of course I look at you, monkey," Elliot told him as he cut his spaghetti noodles short.

"Why Sam Sam no lookit me?" he asked pulling at a bib as soon as Olivia put it on him.

"Keep it on, monkey, you're not exactly a clean eater," she warned.

"Did I miss something today?" Elliot asked, handing the plate of food to Olivia and watching as she helped Isaac eat.

"Isaac is currently irritated that Sam doesn't look at him… he doesn't understand why others look at him and Sam can't," she said sadly, "I'm not sure I know how to explain it to him."

Elliot processed the information and kissed the crown of Olivia's head, "We'll figure something out, don't worry about it… rest, tonight huh? When Chloe and Donovan leave? Just rest?"

Olivia laughed, "When and _if_ those two leave which, from the quietness, I don't think is gonna happen any time soon, Solomon and Hannah will be ready to eat. By the time those two are held, loved and drooled over by you and me, Sam will probably wake up, hungry, and Isaac will be fussy from tiredness, so after all of that is taken care of… I think I'll just want to pass out and die."

Elliot exhaled, cupped her cheek and brought her into a kiss, sipped softly of her bottom lip before tracing it with his tongue until she separated her lips for his entry and moaned appreciatively when she felt his tongue stroke hers, felt his hand cup her right cheek and… what was that? She pulled back and laughed at the perfectly thrown handful of spaghetti clinging to the side of Elliot's face, "Kissie!" Isaac grinned, pointing to his father who was already laughing.

Elliot wiped his face and kissed his son on the cheek.

"Kissie!" Isaac demanded from his mother as well and she happily obliged.

Olivia exhaled at the sound of voices from the back room, "Looks like they're talking at least."

Elliot looked at the table, "I hope they're _both_ not stubborn… I'm starving."

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"What do you want from me!" Chloe pleaded through tears.

Donovan took a step closer to her, "I want to know why you're scared… I want to know why you don't want to be my wife? Are you scared? Do you not love me?"

"Donovan! Please!" she yelled. "I can't do this with you," she suddenly whispered as her voice cracked and tears flowed heavily.

He was relentlessly soft as he touched her face with fingertips, "Can't love me? Can't talk to me? Can't marry me… please, you have to be specific," he whispered.

She sniffled, unable to look at him, her hand came up to his, "Please, Donovan… it hurts too much to do this."

He furrowed his brow and sat down, pulling her reluctant body into his lap, "What hurts? Why do you hurt so much?" he asked softly, "Tell me and I'll spend the rest of my life making it better, I will… I'll give you anything you want, just say the words... but you've got to tell me, Honey."

She wept bitterly into his neck, "You… don't know me."

He smiled, rubbing her back gently, "Yes I do… I know you hate spinach and Popeye by extension, I know you read Matthew's books to get a break from you're text book." He leaned down, kissed her forehead and whispered, "And after Christmas eve… I learned you were a cover hog and you could only sleep on the left side of the bed."

She let out a pathetic chuckled and swiped her tears, "You don't know the important stuff."

"I know I love you… that's pretty important, don't you think?" he asked.

"Donovan… you know what I mean," She shuddered and he wrapped his arms tighter around her body.

"No I don't," he told her gently, "because you don't trust me with it, and that kills me, because I want to be the center of your world… please tell me Chloe… I won't think less of you or leave you or think you're strange, I love you so much," he sniffled. "Can you please tell me? Was I not good in bed? Do I treat you badly?"

"Shh," she whispered, pulling back to look at him, "that night was… really special for me," she confessed.

"Me too," he told her, something intense in his voice.

"No… I don't think you understand," she hung her head, "You… we're my first and-"

"You too," he confessed and made him self so vulnerable and so raw he himself wanted to run.

"What?" she paused and suddenly took in what he was saying. She wasn't the only one giving up something precious that night. She wasn't the only one trusting another person with something so intimate, but the actual act, although a little painful and awkward, had sent them both floating through the sky.

He smirked, "Contrary to my own belief… I'm not a ladies man," he grinned, "I'm a dork and an Xbox freak and… you were the first woman I've ever asked out."

These are things he'd never told her. He'd always acted so confidant around her, even on Christmas Eve when he laid her gently onto his bed and made love, for the first time, to her, he was confidant and reassuring.

She cupped his cheek, "You're so innocent… I don't want to mess that up."

He smirked, "I've seen things that will make your stomach churn… I work in roughly the same field your going into… I'm not innocent of the world Chloe, I know something has happened to you… please tell me."

Slowly, she leaned her head back on his chest and exhaled, "Didn't you ever think it was odd that I'm so young… and raising my brother?"

"Yes… but I wanted you to feel comfortable telling me what the story behind that was," he replied.

She took in a deep breath, balled his shirt in her fist, and told him her story.

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"I still love you," Donovan whispered nearly an hour later when she finished the story that was uniquely hers.

She looked at him, shock written across her face, "You do?"

"I do," he nodded and dug around in his pocket pulling out a humble ring, "Chloe… I'm asking you, to make me the happiest geek on the planet. Baby… please say anything except 'no'."

She smiled, wiping away a tear, "Doesn't leave me with a lot of options."

"Say _anything_… I'll accept 'I need more time,' or even, 'let me think about it' but… we belong together… you can't tell me Christmas Eve doesn't scream that at you Chloe… I love you… please say yes."

She looked at him, searched him for something she couldn't place her finger on, even though she'd searched for it her entire young life, and when she found it, she touched her hand to his cheek and leaned into his lips, "Yes," she whispered kissing him gently on the mouth, pulling away when his lips didn't respond. She looked at him and grinned at his completely blank stare. He was shocked to the point of immobility and she marveled that she, a damaged woman, could do this to a man as perfect as he was.

"You said yes."

She grinned, "I did."

"You said yes," he blinked quickly and then suddenly snapped himself into reality and slipped the ring on her finger, bringing her quickly to his mouth and kissing her hungrily, with everything he had until he released swollen lips from his and kissed them gently, soothing the pressure he'd applied, "I want to take you home, and make love to you again," he whispered, "I want to make love to you everyday."

"Really?" she whispered, turning away so he couldn't see the blush in her cheeks.

He turned her back to him, "Why wouldn't I?"

She chuckled, "I don't know… I didn't think, I was all that."

He grinned and blushed, "You were all that… and a bag of chips."

She laughed almost hysterically and buried her face in his chest, "I can't believe you said that… that was so lame."

"But I made you laugh didn't I?" he whispered stroking her hair.

She exhaled, kissed his chest through his shirt, "You always make me laugh."

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"Was that laughing?" Elliot asked from the couch, "They better not have made up like two hours ago and left us out here to starve."

"El," Olivia smiled and positioned Hannah to her breast, "leave them alone, they're young, let them have their time."

He furrowed his brows, "Are you suggesting they're having sex in there… on my desk?"

She laughed, "Believe me when I tell you… those two are _not_ having sex in our house."

"How do you know?" he asked for the soul purpose of finding out where she got her information.

"Girl talk, El… I'm not telling you a thing," she said raising her brows and daring him to ask again.

He smiled scooting close, "She won't latch on?"

"Nope… stubborn to the very end."

"Obviously your daughter," he smiled up at her.

She leaned her forehead into his temple and grinned, "I'm starving."

"Me too," Elliot smiled. Hannah fussed, "Apparently her too."

"I tried lying down with her and she won't eat… I tried resting her on my forearm and holding her head, sometimes that works but she won't eat like that, and she hasn't eaten in five hours… she worries me, El." Olivia confessed trying to graze her daughters lip with her nipple in hopes of her latching on. Olivia groaned, "El, if she doesn't eat… she's gonna be fussy all night long."

"Here," he smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "just relax and hold her, I'll support you," he said with a smile.

"Support me… right, something tells me you just want your hand on my boob," she chuckled but moved her supporting hand and placed it under her arm that was already holding Hannah. Elliot rubbed his hands together to ensure they're warmth and softly supported Olivia's breast. "See," Elliot whispered in her ear as Hannah took hold, "my hands are magic," he breathed, purposely nuzzling her ear.

"Not fair, Elliot."

He kissed her neck gently, "If our daughter wasn't eating right now… would you make love to me?"

"With two people in our house?" she giggled softly.

"Yeah… even with two people in our house… would you?" he asked, outlining her ear with the tip of is tongue.

She laughed into his shoulder, "Absolutely."

"Really?" he pulled back a little shocked by her answer.

She smiled at him, "Yeah… c'mere."

"Why?"

"Just… c'mere and kiss me will ya?"

He grinned and kissed her, grazing his lips over hers and running his free hand through her hair, "You're so beautiful,"

She beamed, "Thank you," she whispered, "I needed to hear that," she told him before leaning in and kissing him slowly, unable to touch him with their baby in her arms.

"Hmm, that's some interesting breastfeeding," Chloe chirped from the hallway.

Elliot and Olivia jumped apart and Olivia quickly covered her feeding baby as Elliot fumbled for words, "She uh… she had something in… her teeth."

Olivia looked at him in disbelief, "Nice."

"Sure it wasn't in her tonsils?" Donovan asked with a smiled as he wrapped his arm around Chloe's waist.

"Well… I take it you two came to a decision?" Olivia grinned, "When's the wedding?"

"Don't know," Chloe admitted. "We agreed to a long engagement," she said meeting Olivia's gaze, a silent conversation, 'thank you' 'you're welcome'.

"You know what?" Olivia said suddenly, and stood, "Elliot and I are going to pack up dinner for you two… I'm sure, you'll want to uh… _eat_ at home tonight," she smiled and helped Elliot as best she could with one hand, pack up the cold meal, "You'll have to warm it up… although I'm sure things will be pretty hot already."

"Olivia!" Elliot smiled, "Leave'em alone."

"Oh, shut up," She smiled, "I'm surprised you haven't said anything already."

"I just want to know when the baby comes," he smiled looking at the young couple.

"We've already got one to look after," Donovan smiled, "and… I want to enjoy her as my wife."

Elliot handed the paper sack full of food to Donovan as Chloe picked up a groggy Matthew, "Come on brother," she smiled. "Let's go home."

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Olivia smiled resting in Elliot's arms, the muted television glowing in the living room, "I haven't had pizza in a long time… thank you."

"The spaghetti was cold… I hate cold spaghetti and this was the only place open this late."

"Here I thought you were just romancing me," she laughed and stroked his thigh softly, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm good… itchy, but good. You?"

"I'm so sleepy… but, I thought you…" she began to doze off.

"Thought I what?" he asked nudging her.

She exhaled, nuzzled closer to his chest and murmured through sleep, "Would make… love to me."

"You want me to?"

"Mmm, hmm," she managed before falling asleep.

He grinned finding it sexy and entirely arousing that she wanted him, even in her exhausted state, "Rest, Liv."

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Olivia groaned into wakefulness and winced holding her belly.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked sleepily.

"My abdomen muscles are killing me… and you have all the covers you hog," she teased and smiled when he scooted closer to her and wrapped her in warmth of the comforter. "How did we get here?" she asked softly.

He kissed her forehead and tucked her hair behind her ear, "A lot of hard work, communication and honesty, but I'm glad we're here."

She pulled back and smiled at his confession, smiled because he'd misunderstood her question and still managed to make her feel good, make her feel like they truly were coming together as a couple who's main goal was making their marriage and their family solid, no matter what the cost, "I meant," she laughed, "how did we get in the bed?"

He blushed and buried his face in her shoulder as he laughed, "Oh… I carried you."

She stilled at his words and instantly pulled him into a kiss. Shocked, it took him a split second to remember what to do, but he palmed her bottom and pulled her close to him self enjoying his wife's body and lips over his own, "What was that for?" he grinned when she separated and laid her head on his chest.

She exhaled, "You've carried me in more ways than one… I just wanted to let you know that I'm aware of it and… I really do appreciate it."

"Sit up," he encouraged, helping her up as she protested, "come on, humor and old man."

She sat up in the cool of the early morning and smiled when he unbuttoned her flannel shirt, "El," she blushed holding his wrist, "I um… I'm sore this morning."

He grinned, "I know… we're not going to make love, but I think… I owe you a massage, after the one you gave me."

She laughed, "It's so cold."

"I'll turn the heater on," he said, and grabbed the remote turning on the portable heater than was kept on Olivia's side of the bed since she was the one that couldn't handle the cold, "instant heat."

She smiled and continued unbuttoning where he left off, "No… let me," he said kneeling in front of her and finishing the shirt.

"El?"

"Yeah?"

"Um…" she blushed and looked down before looking back to him, "don't take this the wrong way, but… did we make love last night? I don't remember, I think I wanted to, but… all I remember was pizza, did you turn me down?" she asked with a small smile.

He laughed, "No, I didn't turn you down… you fell asleep."

"Uggh," she groaned, "I'm sorry, I'm so tired… I wanted to though."

"I know," he whispered shedding her shirt and grazing her flesh lightly before tugging at her panties, "you should take these off," he said.

"No… I think you'll try to tease me, knowing that I'm sore this morning and won't be able to do anything… I'm catching onto you Stabler."

He smirked and kissed her neck, "Can you lay on your stomach?"

She offered a sloppy smile and adjusted herself accordingly but groaned suddenly.

"What?"

She laughed propping herself up on her elbows, "It's uh… a little- well, to be frank, lying like this is smashing my boobs."

He straddled the back of her thighs and smiled at her honesty, "How's this?" he asked putting the softest of their pillows under her breast, and positioned her arms in a friendlier manner, "Better?"

"Much… but, shouldn't I be taking care of you?" she whispered.

"Na… I'm good, just relax."

He worked her shoulders and neck, smiled at the moan she gave him, "You're all knotted up."

"My entire body is a knot," she groaned raising her feet and caressing his bottom with her smooth soles.

"Liv," he groaned, "don't do that."

"Why?" she asked innocently. She knew why. Why did he think she was making it a point to do it.

He rubbed his hips into her bottom and smiled when she gasped, "I think you know why… don't tempt me, Liv."

She giggled and then sighed as his hands worked her lower back, "Now, see… I could get use to this… every morning."

"You know what I could get use to every morning?" he asked, gently placing one hand under her belly.

She grinned and angled her head to look back at him, "Should I guess?"

He smiled and kept his hand in place as he leaned further up her back and started to kiss the line of her spine, nipping, sucking and licking until he reached the dimples of her lower spine and sucked softly, "This." She moaned and then gasped when he gently bent her body up, pulling her bottom up and sliding her panties off with the other hand, "Hurt?"

She shook her head, "Surprised."

He smiled and kissed the flesh of her derriere, "Good," he muttered before trailing his tongue along her body and gently lowering her back to the bed until her belly was flush with the mattress, "You're really pensive this morning, Liv… why?" he asked sitting back on his feet and bending her leg up so he hand access to her thighs her calf and foot as he stroked her leg and gently rubbed her muscles.

"Mmm, I have a session with Vivian today, and Don wanted me to stop by the station to put in my two cents on a case they caught."

"You're on maternity leave."

"Um… duh," she grinned. "He's drowning El, they got the transfer order in for my new partner but they wont be there for a while, I'm out and Mac and Fin can only handle so much, the other detectives are canvassing and following leads… he needs a mind to kick around ideas, nothing major, I don't think."

He kissed the bottom of her foot and rubbed it softly before laughing, "When did you find time to paint your toenails?"

"Well," she grinned, "if you notice… only one foot is painted."

He laughed and lowered her leg, drawing up the other, "You're sessions are hard on you aren't they?"

She exhaled, "I thought they would get easier, but sometimes… sometimes I'd do anything to not have to go."

He kissed her ankle as he massaged her calf, "I think you're really amazing for going… when is our next couples session?" he asked and felt her body tense, "Shhh, I'm not saying we need it… I just know I'm gonna be behind on paperwork and I have a conference to go to after the scabs are gone… I want to make time for the session is all."

She relaxed, "Two weeks I think… it's on the calendar."

"Kay," he whispered kissing his way back up to her body and nuzzling her ear "turn over."

She did and looked up at him with a grin, a soft kiss and a moan as he rested between her thighs, "El," she thrust her hips up to him softly, "don't do this to me… I'll want you and then I'll have you and then I'll be so sore I won't be able to move."

"I don't know, Liv," he smiled as she caressed his bottom through his flannel pants, "I think you want me as bad as I want you."

"I know what you're doing, El," she panted, "it's not gonna work." _I don't think so, anyway._

He rubbed his hips into her, "What's not gonna work?"

"El… you've got chicken pox and I'm sore… the math isn't hard on that one."

"No," he smirked and pressed deeper into her, "but the math is pretty hard on this one."

She laughed and turned the tables, "You could probably use a condom… I think that'll be easier for you… and if you're gentle, I think I can handle a go."

He groaned, "I can't believe you just did that?"

"Did what?" she smiled knowing full well what she'd done.

"Offered me a way to make love to you, _knowing_ I wouldn't, because you're sore… now I'm so, completely turned on I don't know what to do," he grinned and sat up, his arousal evident.

"That's what you get, for turning _me_ on and disguising it as a friendly massage!" she laughed, swatting him playfully on his chest, "did you think I wouldn't catch on?"

He plopped next to her and groaned, "How long before the scabs go away?"

"Another week probably… if you'd stop scratching and picking they'd heal quicker," she told him, resting her hand on his hip and looking at him carefully. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Liar… what is it?"

He exhaled, "I scratch in my sleep."

"I know," she shook her head, "but what is it that is really bothering you?"

He pulled her close to him, "Nightmare."

"About?" she asked caressing his cheek.

He exhaled, "I'm falling out of the sky… and just when I think I'm gonna die, someone catches me and throws me back up… to start falling all over."

"Anything I can do?"

"No… I think it was just eating too late last night… Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"What have you and Vivian been talking about that makes you not want to go?"

She exhaled into his chest, "I told you already."

"That's all you talk about?"

"No… but sometimes… the stuff with Oliver gets to be too much and it weighs me down and when I get home… I don't want to be around the kids and I feel inadequate around you and that's not what I want when I come home."

"What do you want?"

"I want to hold our babies, wrestle and run after a naked Isaac and talk about silly stuff with Sam… and I don't want to be so emotionally over taxed, that I don't want to make love to you."

He smiled against her hair, "I loved that night in the SUV… that was amazing."

She chuckled, "I think I over did it."

He pulled back and looked at her, "Is that why you're sore?"

"I think so," she grinned, and rubbed her belly, "I've been sore since then, and Sam and Isaac aren't exactly the lightest little boys."

"Then why'd you do it, if you weren't ready, Liv… I could have waited," he scolded her gently.

"It was worth it… believe me. I get pretty worked up just thinking about it, so if you don't mind… different subject please?"

He grinned and kissed her, "You're a good woman, you know that?"

Before she could respond Isaac made his morning debut, "Sam Sam!" he said pointing back down the hall.

Olivia covered herself immediately with her shirt and frantically button a button to hold it closed, "Wrong room, baby," she smiled as Elliot patted the mattress and Isaac struggled to climb his naked body onto the bed and sit in his Dad's lap.

"Morning, son," Elliot smiled, rubbing Isaac's back.

"Sam Sam," he repeated and jumped out of his fathers embrace and straddled his mother's comforter-covered thighs.

"Morning, monkey," she said running her hand through his hair.

"Ornin' Mama… Sam Sam, boom boom, nigh nigh," he said resting against her chest.

"Of course he's sleeping, honey… it's very early."

Isaac sat back and framed her face, "Sam Sam, boom boom."

"Boom boom?" she furrowed her brow, "What's boom boom?"

"Sweepies," he said, distracted by the tattoo that was edging over her flannel, "What this?" he asked and pulled at the fabric before she could stop him, "Oooh," he said looking at the hand print intently, "Dada, lookit it!" Isaac told him, "Lookit Mama."

Olivia tried to cover herself in the presence of her young son but he wanted to know just exactly what this thing on his mother was. He pulled her shirt away again and Olivia covered as much of her breast as she could but still let the tattoo show, "That's your hand, baby."

"Mines?" he asked.

"Yeah… when you were just a tiny, little boy," she said softly and gently took his left hand in hers and placed it over the tattoo. Isaac stilled for a long second and Olivia swore that if it were possible, Isaac was making a connection between his hand and the hand permanently stamped on the curve of her breast. It was when Isaac's right hand found its way to the tattoo on her ribs, that she knew his two-year-old mind, somehow, understood. Perhaps it was reflexive; she was more inclined to think it was an unbreakable bond between them that stood the test of time and painful separation.

She was more inclined to think, that he remembered.

Isaac withdrew his hands and laid his head on his mother's chest as Elliot looked on in awe of the scene in front of him, "Sam Sam, no here," Isaac told them.

Elliot's brows furrowed, "What do you mean he's not here? You said he was sleeping," he reminded him.

"Sam Sam, boom boom, nigh nigh. No here."

Elliot moved out of bed quickly and trotted down the hall to the boys' room, throwing open the door, "Olivia!" he hollered back through the house and immediately started looking for their son under the bed.

"Hurry, honey," Olivia encouraged him to leave the room so she could slip her boy shorts back on. She caught up with them just in time to see Elliot frantically searching under Isaac's bed then moving back to Sam's and looking, "El?"

"He's not here," Elliot said making his way to his feet and throwing open the closet door to reveal nothing, "Sam! Answer!" Elliot bellowed.

"Where's Zeus?" Olivia asked pointing the empty dog bed on the opposite side of the boys' room. The beautiful thing about a guard dog was that when you commanded it to stay in a certain spot, you'd find them there until you released him. Which meant, if he was gone, Sam had to release him.

Elliot narrowed his eyes at the bed and quickly moved through the house checking the alarm pad, "It hasn't been turned off," he said and then froze at the still creature, "I found Zeus," Elliot muttered tilting his head to the side.

"Why's he just sitting there?" Olivia asked in confusion and then realized something, "El… the hall closet… open it."

Elliot approached the closet and Zeus quickly came to all fours snarling and barking. He'd been commanded to 'protect' which from what the trainer told Olivia meant he would put on a big display until the person backed away or was released from the command, "Zeus-yield!" Olivia said firmly and the dog instantly sat and wagged its tail, "Good boy."

"He's in the closet?" Elliot muttered to Zeus not really expecting a reply. Elliot opened the door to reveal his son, curled up on the floor, Tripod pulled close. "Samuel?" Elliot said softly as Olivia kneeled next to Elliot.

Isaac slammed clumsily behind them both, "Sam Sam!"

"Wake up, sweet boy," Olivia whispered and reached for him.

Tripod snarled, Olivia snapped her fingers at the dog which promptly obeyed and nuzzled Sam, "Out!" Olivia ordered and Tripod reluctantly walked away, casting a look of certain irritation at being woken up, as he left. Snarling one last time as he walked past Zeus who remained on scene, still as could be.

"Honey?" Olivia said softly again and was cut off when Isaac wedged himself between both of them and quickly kneeled next to his brother.

Isaac shook Sam frantically and laughed, "Wakies, Sam Sam!"

Sam groaned, "Stop bro."

"Wakies!" Isaac said laughing and framing Sam's face. Isaac shook Sam's head, "Boo!"

"Go away."

"I think he wants you to wake up," Elliot told him gently.

"Dad?"

"And your mom," Elliot whispered, "why are you in the closet?"

Sam's face grew down cast, "It didn't work."

"What didn't?" Olivia asked. Sam flinched at the touch she gave and he withdrew deeper into the closet.

Undaunted, she reached in and quickly pulled him out to which he screeched, "NO!"

She pulled his fighting body onto her lap and closed arms and legs over him, "Shh."

"No! It didn't work! He's a liar! He's a stupid liar!" he yelled, fighting so forcefully with her that Elliot wrapped his arms around both of them.

"It's okay, son, we've got you, its okay," he soothed.

Isaac found his way into the bundle, stepping on his mother's thigh to get to his brothers face, "No sad, Sam Sam," he said softly and kissed his brother's cheek before resting his head there.

Sam sniffled, "Mom… it didn't work."

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Olivia exhaled watching Isaac sleep on the couch, "You think he's ever gonna keep his clothes on?"

"Probably not," Elliot whispered, hugging her from behind. "Sam still in his room?"

"Won't come out, won't talk… not so much as a word. Do you think we messed up letting him go to the funeral?" she asked, leaning into his embrace and resting her body against his.

"No," he replied honestly, "I think, he genuinely wanted to go and I think ultimately it will be good for him. He's a strong boy, Liv."

"He's breaking," she whispered, turning in his embrace, "he had eight years of hell… he's just a baby, El and I don't know how to fix him."

"Hey," Elliot whispered through a small smile, "he's been doing well at Mags' and even she said things will probably get worse before they get better… but Liv, things will get better."

She exhaled, rested her chin on his shoulder, "I hope you're right."

"What time is your appointment with Viv today?" he asked.

"In a couple of hours… why?"

"Well," he exhaled, rubbing her back, "Liv…I want to work on _it_, I want to help you through it."

She pulled back and stared at him, "I… I need to go at my own pace."

"I know… and I'm all for that, but… pace infers movement. You haven't even brought the subject up with me unless I ask you."

"El-"

"I just want you to let me know what you're thinking."

"I'm going to go talk to Sam," she said, looking away and trying to get free of his embrace.

"Liv… come on, don't fight me… I just want to talk about it."

"No!" she hissed pulling her wrists free and pushing past him.

He turned her back around before she could leave the living room, "Stop being a chicken!" He groaned as soon as the words fell out of his mouth, "I'm sorry."

She swallowed hard and cleared her throat, "I uh… I'm gonna go talk to Sam."

"Liv-"

She cut him off holding her hand up, "I just… need to go do something else, before we get into a fight and say things we don't mean."

He exhaled, "Liv… I'm sorry."

She shook her head, "I know."

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"You're a tough nut to crack," Olivia smiled and nudged Sam gently as she lay on his bed next to him, "I'm not sure I've ever seen someone plead the fifth so much."

He rolled to his side and snuggled into the safety of his mother and exhaled when she wrapped him in her arms and pulled him even closer, "Rough night?"

"Why do we have to talk so much?"

"Because if we don't… you'll never get better, honey."

He exhaled and broke, sobbing into her chest, "I want to see Isaac and know what he looks like. Dad says he has a goofy smile, but I don't know 'cause… I don't see it."

"Honey… is this why you're so upset? Because, Isaac doesn't understand why you can't look at him?"

He wiped his face, snuggled closer to her, balling her shirt in his fist as he swallowed hard "I wanted to see their faces, I wanted to know if they loved me, if they were afraid when they saw me… like I was when I heard them in my room at night. I wanted to see it and I couldn't and it makes me madder at God," he confessed bordering on anger.

"Honey, your grandparents… were very surprised and shocked that you treated them so well. I think your grandmother turned a few shades lighter."

"Was she afraid?"

"I think so… yes."

He wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled tightly so that his body balled up and was as close to his mother as he could possibly get. As close to her heart beat as he could be.

"I'm right here," she whispered, "I'm not going anywhere… I'm right here with you," she soothed, kissing his head and looking down at him, "can you tell me why you were in the closet?"

"Doesn't matter," he said miserably, "it didn't work."

"Baby," she pulled him away so she could look at him and put his hand on her face, "feel my face honey… can you feel how worried I am about you?"

He shook his head softly, "Yeah," and tried to lower his hand.

She kept it covered over her cheek, "Tell me why you were in the closet, Sam."

"Because the man said that's how things disappear… but it didn't work. He lied, Mom and that's not so good."

She furrowed her brow, "What man baby?"

_Christmas card. Nick Ganzner. Boogie man_.

"The man that I listened to at Alex's house on the television. Robert told me that the people go inside the box or sometimes a room and that the man disappears, and I could hear all the people on the television clapping and they were very happy because the man put someone in a box and made them disappear."

Her eyes misted at the implied confession, "You wanted to disappear?"

He shook his head 'yes', and frowned, "I asked God to make me disappear like on the television and I thought I did… but then I woke up and you were so sad, I could hear it in your voice, and… I knew it didn't work and that God didn't help me, again."

"Why would you want to disappear?" she asked, almost pleading, "Baby, tell me… why?"

"So you could be happy, Mom, so everyone could be happy, like on the television."

"Baby… we're all so happy, why do you think we're not?"

"Because… you've been sleeping so much and your voice isn't like it is normally and dinner is at a weird time and you made me go to Alex's when everyone else got to be home and I tried to wake you up and you didn't wake up for me and-" he stopped and started to sob again.

"Sweetie… you're schedule got thrown off and it upset you… is that why your upset? Why you think we're sad? Because things weren't the same way?"

"Yeah."

"Sam," she kissed his forehead, "I'm sorry… I've been so super tired because your daddy and your brothers and Hannah have been so sick…sometimes we have to be flexible on our dinner times and sometimes, I can't do anything about that. I can't promise you that we'll always eat at the same time, but I can promise you we'll always eat."

He exhaled, "But… why did you send me away? I woke up and I was at Alex's house."

"Oh, Sam… I'm so sorry, baby… I knew you weren't sleeping with everyone being so sick. Alex came to pick you up and you were finally getting some sleep, you must have been so sleepy that you slept through the ride and the night… I'm sorry, I should have told you, but baby, we weren't sending you away because we didn't love you or want you here… we asked Alex to come get you so you could rest and get good sleep."

"Why didn't you wake up for me? You said you would always wake up for me."

"I did say that… and I'm sorry, I think you're father's medicine made him super sleepy, and I've just been so tired that I must not have heard you, can you forgive me?"

He smiled gently and nodded, 'yes'.

"Honey… I love you so so much… will you please, stop trying to get away from my heart?" she asked and put one of his hands over her heart the other on her wet cheek, "It hurts me so much when you try to disappear or hurt your self."

He sniffled and hugged her, "I'm sorry."

"I know you are baby… but, you've got to stop wanting to leave us, it hurts so much to even think about it."

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"Maybe you _are_ a chicken," Vivian said, effectively shocking Olivia with her bluntness.

"Excuse me?"

"You're upset because Elliot called you a chicken but the reality of the situation is this, you've come into my office on a weekly basis and we've talked but you're not implementing anything we've talked about."

"I communicate with Elliot all the time, and we're probably happier than we've ever been," she protested.

"I'm not talking about communication. I agree that you two seem very happy these days, but what I want to know is… why are you being such a chicken about him being able to touch your hips and thrust into you? I'm not trying to be crass, Olivia, but I feel it's time to be frank with you… you _are_ a chicken, because you haven't implemented _anything_ that we've talked about-"

"That's-"

"Not true?" Vivian finished and smirked, "Did you tell him you wanted to work on it? That you and I were talking about it?"

"Yes," Olivia said in victory, "Told you."

_One point Olivia, zero Vivian._

"And tell me, have you set a day on the calendar like I told you where you and he could try it?"

Olivia looked away, "No," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

"No," she responded solidly.

_Okay, that might have been one point Vivian._

"Uh huh, and did you research the sex furniture?"

Olivia squirmed, "Seems a little odd-"

"That's not what I asked you… did you do it or not?"

"No."

_Sinking_.

"So, needless to say you didn't talk to him about it?"

"Yes I did!" Olivia said quickly.

_Ha! Two points me. Bring it on. _

"And he said?"

"He'd try it."

"So you researched it on the internet with him, like I suggested?"

_Busted_

"Uh… no."

"And you've tried the position with clothes on?"

"No."

"You've let him caress your hips as much as possible? You've asked him to do this?"

"No."

"You've laid on top of him and let him touch you without intercourse?"

"No."

Vivian looked at her and tilted her head, "Oh, well, surely you've guided his hands to you… let him know you were making progress?"

"N-no."

"So," Vivian tossed her pen on her desk, "why are you here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why are you wasting my time and your time and setting Elliot up for failure? He's not a mind reader, he won't know if you don't tell him."

"I know that."

"You seem to know a lot for someone who doesn't do what she knows."

_Vivian: A lot of points. Olivia: Looser_.

"I have to… go," Olivia said. She'd been thrown for a loop, not at the aggressiveness with which she was questioned, but with the fact that Vivian was right, she didn't implement any suggestions they'd talked about. She stood, gathered her things and made her way to the door.

"Olivia,"

"What?" she asked avoiding her gaze and fixing her shirt cuff.

"If you run you're entire life… you're bound to run out of breath."

Olivia exhaled in frustration, "What are you saying?"

Vivian smiled softly, "I'm saying… sit… let's talk."

Olivia finally understands why Sam hates talking so much. Sometimes, you feel like you're going in circles too fast and all you want to do it throw up, Olivia shook her head, tried to make the tears stop, as she slowly lowered herself into the chair.

_Ding ding ding! Ladies and gentleman, your winner, Vivian_.

"Why are you so scared of this?" Vivian asked softly and passed a box of Kleenex to her.

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do… when a woman is this scared, she normally knows, and the only way to get past that fear is to call it into existence," Vivian told her gently, "you'll not find any place safer."

"What do you want me to say!" Olivia snapped.

"I want you to tell me why you haven't even discussed the things I've suggested to you, with Elliot."

Olivia pressed her temple with her thumb and rubbed her forehead with her fingers.

"Oli-"

"What if he likes it?" She blurted through glass eyes.

Vivian smiled in compassion, "He probably will, it's a very pleasurable position for both sexes… do you not want him to like it?"

Olivia exhaled in frustration, "I want my husband to make love to me the way he wants."

"Yet you haven't made any action to do so."

"Vi-"

"Let's tackle this from a different angle…what is it about Elliot touching your hips and making love to you at the same time that makes you cringe? What do you feel when and if he tries it."

"I panic," Olivia whispered, "I feel… dirty, almost instantly and I'd kill for a shower," she confessed and gave a bitter chuckle, "I don't think I've even told him that."

"What was it about the rape that makes you so scared of this… normally I have women come in here, who can't stand sex at all, yet you're all for it so long as it doesn't entail this one position… why?"

"I don't want to talk about it… can we go to something else? I'm willing to talk about my compulsiveness when it comes to the check book? I can deal with that right now."

"No," Vivian told her very simply and stood to sit in the chair next to Olivia, "no. You need to get this out of your system… can't you see what it does to you? It turns you, a normally strong and independent woman; into someone nervous and afraid… do you want to live your life like that? Because, if you do, then by all means let me know and I'll stop billing your insurance."

Olivia ran her hands through her hair and hung her head between her legs gathering breath and strength before sitting back again, "It's embarrassing."

"What is? Doing this with Elliot? Oliver's trespass? What?" Vivian asked gently, "I'm safe for you to tell."

Olivia stood slowly and put distance between her and Vivian. She walked to the book shelf, folding her arms over her chest and pretending to be interested in the books.

"Oli-"

"I wasn't… my body wasn't… and it was… so painful."

"You weren't ready when he pushed into you, and it hurt?"

She furrowed her brow and stared at a book, _The Joys of Sex_, "Can-is a woman ever supposed to be ready for something like that? For… a _forced_ entry?"

"No, she's not," Vivian told her softly. "Are you scared Elliot won't wait until you're ready?"

"No," she answered honestly, "it's not that."

"Can you tell me what it is then?"

Olivia reached out and ran her finger along a book and smiled softly, _Sexual Intimacy for Rape Survivors_, the book Elliot turned into a rainbow with highlighters.

"Olivia… come back, focus… tell me what it is th-"

One more book, _The Courage to Heal_, she took a deep breath, "He… was… thrusting so hard and it hurt, almost burned with the friction but then, suddenly, it was smooth and not as painful," she whispered and pawed at a tear before switching two books that were out of order, "If you put the books back right… they'd be in order."

Vivian smiled softly, "My clients pick and choose books here and again… they don't always get them back in the right spots… Olivia, that was you're body's natural response, it happens with women more often than people realize."

"I know," Olivia bit her lip, "with my job… I understand it's natural, but just because it's natural doesn't mean… it's not… it doesn't mean I don't feel ashamed."

"You shouldn't feel ashamed, Olivia. Your body reacted to a forceful intrusion by lubricating it's self…it doesn't mean you were turned on or enjoying it or consenting to it, it just means your body was doing its job."

"That's not what causes the shame," Olivia whispered, keeping her back to the older woman and hanging her head, vaguely aware that she would have scolded Sam to raise it. She didn't have the will power to do so, "that's not what produces the guilt."

"Guilt? That's the first time you've said guilt."

Olivia stared at the floor beneath her feet and felt her tears stream her face.

"What makes you feel guilty?" Vivian asked gently, surprised that they'd made more headway in the last few minutes then they had in all of their meetings together. "Do you associate the guilt with this position? With the way he touched you?"

Olivia pressed her lips tight in an effort not to break, she shook her head 'yes' and let her composure slip. A sob erupted and she quickly stifled it and moved another misplaced book, "You're system is really messed up," she said hoarsely, trying to distract her heart from the need to let out years of guilt and torment. She wanted Elliot with her.

"It'll survive," Vivian told her gently and gave her a few minutes of silence before coming at her again. "I'm still listening."

"I had… I… as soon as he pulled my hips up… into him-"

"We're talking about Oliver, right?" Vivian asked just to make sure they were on the same page.

"Yes," Olivia exhaled and ran her hand through her hair before wiping her nose with her tissue, "in my life… he is always the underlying factor."

"He doesn't have to be."

"Yet he is."

"Tell me what happened," she encouraged her softly, again.

Olivia swallowed and let out a slow and steady breath, "I tell women all the time… that it's not their fault if they have… an orgasm, but, when it comes to me, I can't accept it. I can't believe my own words."

Vivian exhaled, "What do y-"

"I remember it as clear as the conversation I had with my son an hour ago," Olivia cut her off, letting that intimate wound finally bleed. Her eyes stared into the distance but saw nothing as she spoke barely above a whisper, "it took… it took exactly five thrusts and I broke." Olivia chuckled bitterly and for the first time in several minutes turned to face Vivian, "You know… it took some cajoling on Elliot's part to get me to make any sound when he made love to me."

"Why?"

Olivia shook her head and wiped at a lone tear, "I was… ashamed. I'd… I didn't grow up with the highest self esteem and had never been with anyone intimately. I was so young… I screamed so loud for help, but no one came… I was bound; I don't think my screaming did anything for me."

"Go on," Vivian encouraged her and handed her another tissue.

Olivia dabbed at her eyes, saw the smudge of mascara on the tissue and shook her head; she must have looked like a mess, "When… when my body responded… I couldn't control the reaction and he knew it and he reveled in it and… I yelped and squirmed to control myself, but the more I did… the more he was turned on."

"Have you told this to Elliot?"

"I think, with our jobs, he's put two and two together."

Vivian exhaled as Olivia struggled to keep her composure, "So, all of this time… you've carried around this guilt and shame with you, for what? For not being able to control you're body?"

Olivia cleared her throat and struggled to keep more tears at bay, "Looking back… I think I yelped because… I felt myself tearing. But… I'm just not sure… sometimes it's so cloudy and sometimes it's crystal clear."

"I want you to finish a sentence for me, okay? Can you do that?" Vivian asked and gently touched Olivia's leg, surprised when she flinched.

"Sorry."

"Don't be," she smiled again and touched her hand. "Can you finish a sentence for me?"

"Sure."

Vivian fed her the line and Olivia took several seconds to formulate a thought and produce it without breaking down, "When my husband holds my hips and tries to make love to me, I feel ashamed, dirty and completely unworthy of his love. When he touches me that way, I feel the weight of my guilt and… I want to die."

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"You SVU?"

"You PD?" Mac retorted sarcastically, "You called SVU… did you think they were gonna send you narcotics?"

"Mac!" Fin smacked his lips, "Stop bothering the help and get your less-than-hospitable self over here!"

Mac glared at the uniformed officer and made his way to Fin, "Hol-y-shit!" he groaned, "What the hell is that?"

Fin stood and exhaled, "That's the vic."

"I don't get paid enough for this."

"No one gets paid enough for that."

"Tell me… that's not his own skin in his hands."

Fin folded his arms over his chest, "I won't tell you that's his skin in his hands, but I will tell you that's her skin in her hands."

"It's a woman?"

"Was." Fin said softly as they both stared at the bloody mass. "Warner is trying to figure out exactly how she was skinned… it's pretty precise."

"No offense… but how do you know the vic's a woman?"

"They bagged her breasts twenty minutes ago."

"What kind of sick freak does this?" Mac shook his head and for a moment Fin swore he saw tears well up and then quickly dissipate.

"Probably the same sick freak that shoves notes into people."

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Olivia bypassed her sleeping husband who, while she was emotionally beaten, brought a smile to her face. His scabbed over body, sprawled on the hardwood floor with Sam and Isaac draped over his body all sound asleep. She made it to the nursery and peered down at Solomon who was sound asleep, a small milk ring around his mouth. She smiled softly and licked her thumb, removing the residue from his lips. She couldn't understand why the men in her family were such messy eaters.

She made her way to Hannah and wasn't surprised to see her asleep but moving slightly. She'd be up and crying in a manner of minutes Olivia was sure. She ran her finger along her pamper and knew she needed to be changed. It was clear to her that Solomon must have woken early for food, while Hannah kicked back, as usual. Olivia smiled and picked up her sleeping daughter, laid her gently on the bed in her room and changed her diaper as delicately as she could to allow the infant her last few minutes of sleep before her tummy demanded she wake up.

And wake up, she did, just as Olivia was pulling a pair of Elliot's sweats on and tying the drawstring. She opted not to put her shirt on, knowing Hannah would more than likely give her problems latching on, "Hey," Olivia whispered crawling onto Elliot's side of the bed and turning her back to the door, too exhausted to close the door, but hoping for some privacy in case the boys woke up, "I'm right here," Olivia smiled as Hannah started to fuss. "Daddy didn't feed you? See, you have to wake up with your brother and get some food in you, huh?" she teased, surprised when more tears filled her eyes.

Olivia laid on her side and tucked a small pillow under Hannah to bring her close to her breast, the infant latched on instantly and happily fed, her hand resting just over Isaac's hand print her eyes locked on her mother, "You're so perfect," Olivia whispered and kissed the crown of her head and simply begin to weep.

The confession to Vivian had been too much. It had eaten at her and brought to surface pain and guilt she wished she'd never had to deal with again, but tonight, in the presence of perfection, she was weighed down with oppression.

"Don't grow up to be like me, Pumpkin… be strong and courageous and guiltless," Olivia told her as she softly stroked her hair, "Can I talk to you, hmm? Girl to girl?"

Hannah kneaded her mother's breast with her tiny hand. The bottom line was, so long as Olivia supplied the milk Hannah would listen to anything she had to say… at least until she went to sleep, "I had a really rough morning," Olivia confessed, "and… I'm hurting in ways I hope you never ever do," she wept and gently ran her finger over Hannah's cheek, "I don't know what to do," Olivia sniffled, "what do you think, pumpkin?"

"She thinks you should talk to me," Elliot's voice sailed softly into the room as he stood at the door way. When Olivia came home from a session, it was tricky, it could go one of several ways and he had to feel her out before he simply went to her and hugged her and tried to kiss it all away.

Olivia brought her knees up and curled into the fetal position, wiping her tears away and letting out a shuddered breath, "H-how long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know you had a really hard session today… can I lay with you?"

She said nothing but reached her hand behind her and waited for him to take it. He did and she pulled him as close as possible before resting his hand on her belly, "Please, just lay with me and make me feel safe."

He reached out his finger, stroked his daughter's belly gently and kissed the curve of Olivia's neck, "I'm right here."

She exhaled and wept softly as her husband held her and her daughter gained strength through her, "I don't think… it's ever hurt this much."

"I'm sorry, I said that to you earlier, you have to know that I re-"

"I needed to hear it," she assured him, "thank you for telling me and for the record, I wasn't so upset that we would have had to go to Vivian's or even have a long talk… it just, hit a nerve, and, honestly, I'm glad it did. As much as going through all of this hurts… it's a good hurt."

He pulled her close and kissed her hair, "I love you… do you want me to make you something to eat?"

"Please just stay with me?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

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"Boiled," Melinda said matter of factly.

"Excuse me?" Mac and Fin said simultaneously.

"What exactly did he boil her in?" Mac asked clearly disgusted at the concept, "there was nothing in that apartment big enough to boil someone in."

"Well," Melinda exhaled, "Not exactly boiled, as in drop her in a witch's Calderon and cook her, but roughly the same concept."

"Roughly?" Fin eyed her for more information.

"I haven't done the official autopsy yet. I'm waiting for my guy to come in, but yeah… I'd say extremely hot water was used to dislodge and help separate the skin, that's the only way I can see that would allow it to be so flawless."

Mac exhaled, "This is disgusting."

Fin shook his head, "I'll call Liv… let her know not to come down since we won't be there."

"I already did… she sounded distracted."

"She's got four kids, five if you count Elliot," Fin smirked, "You think with four kids."

Mac's eyes darkened with sadness, "I would've loved four kids."

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Elliot watched his wife pull his old NYPD shirt over her body, "Sam wanted to burp her."

Olivia smiled weakly, "He'll think twice once he knows what happens."

Elliot sat next to her and wrapped her in his arms, "What happened today? I thought you were supposed to go to the station?"

"They caught another case, they think it's related but I can't be at a crime scene unless I'm officially back at work, so… they told me to hold off until they got all their ducks in a row."

"Can you talk about the session, or would you rather-"

"How do you feel about the eighth?" she blurted before she lost her nerve.

"Um… as opposed to the ninth or the seventh?"

"El… please. Are you doing anything important?"

"No… spending time with you."

"I want to do something."

"Okay, well… there's the park, I think the kid-"

"No. I mean you and me," she whispered into his chest and held him tighter.

"Oh, okay, well, do you want to go shoot some pool? We missed New Years, but we could go ice skating or we c-"

"No," she shook her head and pulled back, "I wanted to… maybe, um… try to uh," she looked at him and pleaded for him to finish her thought.

His eyes widened with realization, "Oh… yeah, if you wanted to work on that, we could do that. Want me to get a babysitter?"

She exhaled, "Yeah… Vivian gave us that."

Elliot followed her point to a small foam ramp, "Um… what is it?"

"Apparently," Olivia rested in his arms, "our sex furniture. They call it the Liberator Wedge."

In spite of the misery she was in, she laughed at the absurdity of the comment and was relieved when Elliot laughed with her, "Well," he grinned into her neck, "that's not exactly the Lazy Boy I envisioned… what are we supposed to do with that?" he asked good naturedly but felt her tense just the same.

"Um… she suggested, that uh… instead of you picking up my hips, letting me rest on it."

"Sounds like a plan." Elliot said softly.

"Yeah," she exhaled, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"You nervous about it?"

"No… you?"

"Yeah."


	41. Chapter 41 Fallen

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 41: Fallen

"What do you want to have? A boy or a girl?" Robert asked, holding his wife as they lay together on the couch, their favorite movie playing.

"I don't care… just healthy," she whispered back and covered his hands with hers over her still flat belly, "but… I wouldn't have any objections to a baby girl, maybe try and even out the odds against Hannah," she chuckled then sighed. "Robert, I'm really scared… what if we miscarry again?"

"We won't," he told her confidently.

She reached back and touched his face, "You can't promise me that."

He kissed her hand gently and returned it to her belly, "No. You're right I can't, but… I can take really good care of you, I can love you endlessly and bring you breakfast in bed, and do the house work and prepare your lesson plans and-"

"I could have breakfast in bed?" she asked with a playful smile.

He chuckled against her neck, "All you have to do is ask, and it's done."

She turned in his arms and smiled when he wrapped his leg over hers and held her protectively least she fall off the couch and harm their baby, "Could I have Mozzarella cheese sticks for breakfast?"

"Done."

"And lunch?"

He smiled, kissed her lips softly, "done."

"And what about dinner? What will you fix me for dinner?" she asked through a grin.

Robert trailed his hand along her side and smiled, "I'll give you two options."

"Ooh, I like options," she chuckled and propped her head on her elbow.

"You could have Mozzarella cheese sticks for dinner, or-"

"Or?"

"Or," he grinned and trailed his finger over her breast and whispered into her ear, "Or you could have me."

She arched her brow and gestured with her hands as she pretended to weigh her options, "Hmmm, you… Mozzarella sticks… you… mossare-"

"Al!"

She laughed and pulled him into a kiss, "Of course it's you… it's always you."

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Paul Novak turned and reached for his wife to find the cool of the sheets, he furrowed his brows, looked at the clock that read an angry 1:00am and groaned, before slipping out of the bed and struggling to gain his equilibrium as he walked through the house. He sighed seeing his wife asleep in her office chair, law books and BAR research strewn about, "Casey… honey, wake up."

"Hmm?" she groaned.

"Come on, baby… you know that sleeping like that is hard on your spine, come to bed."

"We can afford it, right?" she muttered and clutched a book close to her as he simply picked her up.

"Afford what, Case?" he asked taking her back to their bed and gently laying her in the comfort of it, bringing the warmth of the blankets over her, "Afford what?" he asked again when she didn't respond.

"For me to get fired."

"You could quit."

"That's not an option," she yawned and rubbed her eyes, "We can afford it?"

He smiled and slipped in next to her, "Casey, I've showed you our financial portfolio four times now… we're okay if you get fired, and we're okay if you want to quit, and we're okay if you take a job with lesser pay. You've never had to work, so long as you've been with me, you know that," he whispered and pulled her body close to him. "Don't worry… whatever happens we're good."

She took a deep breath, "I made my mind up… I'm going to tell Olivia tomorrow, that should give her time to get a restraining order in effect before she actually returns to work."

"And Dallas?"

She raised the book she was reading up to him, "I was researching it, she can fire me for unethical behavior because, well, it's unethical, but," she said, pointing to a passage in the text, "she can't disbar me… she'll make me go in front of the disciplinary panel and more than likely they'll throw it out."

"You'll still practice law?"

"I think so… unless the BAR really detests me, that whole Donald Rumsfeild thing wasn't the smartest move I've made."

He laughed, "The ballziest though."

She yawned again and rested her head against him, "Probably… Paul, you're sure we can afford for me to do this? It's still a gamble-"

"Shh," he whispered and rubbed her arm softly, "go to sleep."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Horsy!" Isaac grinned through sleep tangled hair.

"No," Olivia chuckled, "Zeus is not a horsy, he's a doggie."

Isaac looked back at Zeus who stood proud on four legs and then looked back at his mother, "Zoose horsy."

"Doggie."

"Horsy."

"I'm not gonna argue with you," Olivia smiled and kissed his cheek, "hurry, you're brother is waiting for you."

"Foooood!" Isaac grinned, slipping off of the bed and attempting to pull his boxers off.

Olivia rushed up behind him and brought them back to his tiny waist, "No, son."

"Mama," he groaned and tried to tug them down again.

"No," she told him holding his boxers firmly, "keep trying and I'll put pants on you."

He giggled and looked up at her, "Fooood."

"Go ahead," she smiled and watched as he grabbed Zeus by his collar, "Come on, horsy."

Olivia laughed softly and quickly made Isaac's bed. She'd allowed Elliot to sleep in a few extra minutes as she helped Sam get ready for school, fed the babies and woke up Isaac. She gathered a pile of dirty clothes from the boys' room and made her way down the hall stopping to pick up the pair of boxers that Isaac decided to discard anyway. She deposited the clothes in the laundry room, save the boxers and made her way to the kitchen.

"Monkey," she called for him, holding up his boxers and then laughing as she rounded the corner and saw Isaac, holding onto Zeus' collar and sitting on his back. At first, she felt a momentary panic but when she saw that Zeus didn't seem to mind, she darted for the camera and snapped a shot of her naked son riding his 'horsy'.

"Mama lookit! Horsy!" Isaac laughed and tried to get Zeus to move.

"No, honey, you'll hurt Zeus," she told him and quickly took him off of the dogs back.

"Horsy!" Isaac shrieked and began to cry.

"Shhh," Olivia smiled and rested his head on her shoulder, "it's okay."

"Mornin' mom," Sam smiled from the table.

She smiled back and bent low to kiss his cheek, "I love your smile in the morning…. Do you know that?"

He grinned and blushed, "Mom!"

"What?" she laughed still trying to quiet Isaac, "you're a handsome boy."

"You sound happy today, mom… are you happy?" he asked.

Olivia stood Isaac on the kitchen table and kissed his cheek as he hiccupped and coughed through his tears, "I'm very happy, I've always been happy… just a little bit on the super tired side, but I slept very well last night."

"You were crying," he told her matter of factly.

She exhaled and slid Isaac's boxers back onto his body to which he promptly screamed and sat on his bottom. She picked him up and placed him on his feet, "Go wake up Daddy… hurry!" she told him excitedly.

He cried and slapped her leg.

"Hey!" she said firmly and kneeled in front of him, "We don't hit."

For the second time he stuck his tongue at her.

"And we don't do that either," she warned, "one more time and you're busted."

Isaac looked at her carefully, tried to assess whether or not his mother was serious. He started to cry again and jetted out his bottom lip. Olivia tipped his chin up to her, "I'll bite that lip if you don't bring it in," she teased him.

He jetted it out further, testing her.

She scooped him up and very gently, very playfully took hold of his lip with her teeth and looked at him as his eyes crossed to focus on her. He laughed. She released him and put him back on his feet, "Hurry and get daddy."

"Dada!" Isaac screeched and ran down the hallway, "Dada wakies!"

"Oatmeal or cream of wheat?" Olivia asked Sam who was patiently waiting for the commotion with Isaac to die down.

"Eggs."

"Eggs it is," she smiled, "you look tired baby, did you sleep okay?" she asked pulling the eggs from the refrigerator.

"I asked you a question and you didn't answer."

"Oh," she arched her brows and exhaled, "I'm sorry… you're right, though. I was crying," she admitted.

"Why?" he asked softly.

She took his hand in hers, smiled knowing he'd already washed before sitting at the table, "C'mere, I want you to help me."

"I can't cook… I can't see."

"You can cook," she told him voiding his theory, "but only if your father or I is with you, understand?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "will you answer me, mom?"

"Hold the egg like this," she instructed standing behind him, "crack it and separate it with your thumbs… good."

"Mom… my question?" he reminded her again.

She put the whisk in his hand, "Stir really quick." She exhaled, "You have to stop worrying about me, honey."

"But, I love you."

She kissed his head, "I know you do," she told him as she added in milk, "and I love you, but you don't have to worry so much, it's not good for you baby."

"Then why do you worry so much?" he asked innocently. "You love me and you worry about me, and Dad loves you and he worries about you, and you love dad and you worry about him… does love mean worry?"

"No," she said and handed him a spatula, "be careful of the pan, it's hot," she instructed and placed the handle in his hand, guided it to the pan and poured the egg mix into the pan.

"Sounds cool," Sam smiled as his mother's hand guided his own to scramble the eggs.

"It looks gross," she chuckled.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Why were you crying?"

"You're persistent aren't you?"

He smirked then grew serious, "It's not fair that you want me to talk to you about the stuff that hurts me and you don't talk to me about the stuff that hurts you. How can I trust you if you don't trust me? Dad tells me stuff… he doesn't explain it real good, but he tells me stuff."

She exhaled and kept moving his hand in a stirring motion, "Honey," she said softly and adjusted the heat to the stove, "I was crying because… well, you know how sometimes, when Mags and you talk, you just want to snuggle with me and your dad afterwards?"

"Yeah… did you just need to snuggle with Dad?"

She sniffled, "Yeah. Yeah, I just needed your dad."

"Oh." He furrowed his brow, "Mom? When I want to snuggle with you and dad… it's 'cause my heart is so sad… was your heart sad last night?"

She pressed her lips into a tight smile. His innocence and his ability to interrogate her and know her like a book would be her undoing she was certain of it, "It was."

"Why?"

_Elliot!_

She pulled the pan off of the stove, "One egg or two?"

"One… is dad eating?"

"Yeah, Isaac is waking him up."

Sam laughed, "Isaac is probably snuggled up to dad, naked."

She smiled, gave him his share of scrambled eggs on a plate and walked with him back to the kitchen table, "It's still pretty early… why don't you and I talk, we haven't had any alone time in awhile."

Sam scooted up to the table and felt for a fork, "Why won't you tell me?"

She exhaled, "Baby… you know how you go to Mags and I go to Vivian's?"

"Yeah, and sometimes dad goes to Vivian's and sometimes you both go to Vivian's."

"Right… well, my time with Vivian made my heart a little sad, so I snuggled up to your dad last night."

"I know… but _why_ were you sad? What did you talk about that made you sad?" he asked taking a bite of his eggs and letting his feet swing freely from his chair.

She filled his cup with milk, placed it in its usual position and exhaled, "Honey… someone hurt me really bad, a long time ago, and sometimes, it makes it a little hard to be around your dad."

"'Cause you're scared he might hurt you?"

"No. I know in my heart that your father would never hurt me, but do you know that sometimes what our hearts tell us and what our minds tell us are different things."

"Yeah, that's when things get super hard… 'cause in my heart I know that you and dad love me, but my brain makes me feel other things."

She tilted her head at his confession. He knew they loved him but it was him mind, the aftermath of the abuse that held him hostage. She exhaled, "Yeah… so I have to talk to Vivian about my getting hurt and how close I am to your father, can you understand that?"

He swallowed a drink of milk and placed the cup down, "I think so… but, Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"_How_ were you hurt? You have scars like me… were you hurt like me?"

Never in a million years would she of fathomed she would be having this conversation with someone this young, let alone her own son, "Honey-"

He stood up and walked to her chair, placing his hands about her face, "Mom? Were you hurt like me?"

She couldn't get away with lying to him with his hands feeling her face. He'd pick up on it, pick up on the slightest twitch, and she knew it. She swallowed, "Yeah, baby… I was."

He pulled his mother close to him and hugged her as tight as he could, "It'll be okay, Mom," he whispered to her, something foreign in his voice, an understanding. Somehow, her confession had done to him the same thing that Elliot did to her the night they'd made love in the living room. She pulled Sam into her lap and felt his body relax completely and she was sure that was the first time he'd let himself simply be.

"If I'd known, that would have helped you… I would have told you," she whispered rocking him gently.

"It's okay, Mom," he sniffled, "now I know you more."

She smiled softly and ran her hand through his hair, "Yeah honey… you do, but… do you believe me more?"

He exhaled, "Now you know why I'm scared to?"

She closed her eyes and kissed the crown of his head, "I do."

He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, "I have to get ready for school-"

"Baby-stay with me, let me hold you?" she whispered.

He smiled and laid his head back on her shoulder, "Mom?"

"Yeah, sweetboy?"

"Dad must hurt a lot huh?"

"How's that?"

"He's a super nice person and he loves us, but it's hard for us to love him and believe his love... my heat tells me he loves me but sometimes my brain tells me he's a big man and he might hurt me."

"He'd never hurt you… or me, he loves us so much."

"It must hurt him that we have to go to Mags and Vivian because we got hurt."

"It does," she said whipping a tear away. She'd never really thought of how much Elliot must hurt day in and day out, no matter how much she'd grown, no matter how much Sam had felt comfortable with him, she never fully comprehended how much he must hurt, and how much she needed to heal, not just for herself but for him as well, "I love you."

He giggled, "I know… I have to get ready for school, and Isaac is too quiet, he's probably asleep next to dad."

"I'll go get him," she said softly and hugged him tight, "I love you."

He laughed, "Mom, you already said that."

"I mean it."

"I know."

He went to the room to get ready and she smiled from the door frame of her room seeing her naked son curled up against Elliot's body sound asleep, "Wake up, monkey," she said softly and gently picked him up, "Wake up," she smiled when he did, "you want to ask Sam to help you get dressed."

"No clothes!" he frowned.

"Okay," Olivia smiled, "No clothes, but please go put socks on, you're feet are cold."

He smiled, "Sockies?"

"Yup… go," she encouraged and watched him run off.

"Sam Sam, sockies!"

She turned her attention on her husband and took a deep breath, "Wake up," she whispered and gently stretched her body along side his and smiled over his lips, a gentle kiss placed in the corner, "Wake up, El."

He grinned and slowly opened his eyes, "To what do I owe this wake up call?"

She tenderly kissed his lips again, "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"It's pretty… embarrassing for me," she admitted.

He cupped her face through a sleepy haze, "Don't be embarrassed… what is it?"

She exhaled, laced her hand with his and kissed the back of it, "I want to… maybe try something that we talked about last night? There's time before you have to go to work… I fed the kids and Sam is helping Isaac. Could we?"

He nodded quietly and cleared his throat, "Absolutely… what did you want to try?"

She looked away and tried to gather her courage. There was something about what Sam had told her, about how much Elliot must hurt day in and day out, that motivated her, urged her to press through this. She gently pushed on his shoulders so that he lay on his back and she covered his body with hers, "Is this… is it okay, if I lay like this? Against you?" she asked almost timidly.

"Yeah," he agreed, seeing the fear and determination to get through this in her eyes.

She lowered herself until they were both comfortable. She made sure her body was inline with his. She'd laid over him like this so many times before that this part wasn't an issue, but it was knowing that it would lead to things she was afraid of, it was knowing that she was going to ask him to do something that both shamed and scared her that made her more nervous.

"Liv… I can't promise you I won't… well, I can't promise you I won't get…excited holding you like this."

"It's okay… I just… can you maybe, touch my hips?" she asked snaking her forearms under his neck so her hands could grip them. She wasn't, so much holding him, as much as holding herself, locked and committed to this act.

He arched his brows and blinked "You want me to?"

She buried her face in his neck, grazed her lips against his pulse, surprised to feel it was as steady and smooth as always, "Please."

Slowly, he rested the warmth of his palm on her hips, "Is this okay?"

She nodded and rested against him, "I'm nervous, El."

"I know," he whispered, "I can feel your heartbeat… you don't have to do this if you're not ready."

"I do," she whispered and raised her face to look at him. She watched his face, full of compassion and willingness. If she didn't have the guts to do this for herself, she'd at least attempt it for him. Slowly, she rubbed her body timidly against his boxer-hidden crotch and he automatically moved one hand to her waist, attempting to follow with the other, "No. Please," she whispered and put his hand back on her hip, "my waist won't bother me, we know that… I just… can you move me?"

He kissed her mouth softly, "Are you sure Liv? I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to scare you and then have to go to work."

She swallowed, surprised that her body was already sweating with riled nerves and irregular breathing, "I think… I think I can handle this."

He gripped her hips tenderly, watched her eyes jump in fear of what was coming. He waited a moment and kneaded the flesh, through her flannels, tenderly, before kissing her lips softly, "Ready?"

"Yeah," she managed.

What a difference the span of a hand could make. She was right, he could do anything he wanted with his hands on her waist and she didn't care, move those same hands a few inches lower and her entire body cringed. He could bypass that caress and pull her close with his hands over her bottom and she would smile at the sensation. Bring those same hands upwards a few inches and she would almost instantly move his hands under the guise that she wanted to pin him or hold his hands, but he knew. He knew more than she could ever possibly know.

He moved her slowly up his body and had to stifle a moan. This wasn't the same as moving her with the globe of her butt or with her waist, here she was nervously letting him pull her hips down into him, increasing friction and pleasure. He just wished he could tell his forming erection that this morning wasn't about pleasure, "Liv… I can't control it."

"It's okay," she assured him, unsure of herself, "maybe it'll be better for me?"

He locked his gaze with hers, and gently brought her hips against his again, "What are you feeling?"

"Scared… tense, afraid." she confessed and then suddenly surprised them both when she moaned as he brought her against his body again. She felt him tense, "Its okay… felt good."

He smiled at her assurance. Her splayed palm on his chest as she lay over him. She'd never given him control of her body this way and as if Sam's new found trust in him wasn't enough, this just added to the cake. He kissed her shoulder through her pajamas, "Just tell me what you need me to do."

She pulled back, looked at him and ran her fingertip over his smile. She cupped his face and bent to kiss him, pulling on his shoulder so that his body covered hers as she lay on her back, "Is… is this okay?" she asked him still holding his face so that he looked at her only inches from her own.

"Yes… but why are you asking _me_? Is it okay for _you_?"

She slowly nodded. He misread her. The act of her submissively laying under him was arousing in and of itself. He brought his hand up to her waist band and hooked his finger in it, pulling gently.

"No!" she hissed and grabbed his wrist with one hand, sinking her nails into his shoulder with the other.

"Liv?"

"Please… I want. I don't want my clothes off. I want to try this, like this. I'm not ready for anything else."

His hand softened immediately and waited for her release that came several seconds later. "Okay," he whispered and kissed her cheek, "okay, I didn't mean to push it."

"It's okay," she exhaled, still holding tight to him. "I should have been more clear."

"Do you want to stop?"

"No… I-I want to do this."

"Okay, tell me what you want," he told her softly, "I'll do whatever you need, just let me know."

She whispered her request into his ear and he pulled back to look at her, "Are you sure, Liv? We don't have to rush anything."

"It's what bothers me, and… I just want to get over it," she told him, stroking his chest with her hand, "Once a fear is exposed it must be conquered, right?" she asked with a nervous, tight smile.

He nodded and rested his weight on one forearm above her shoulder. He slid his free hand to her hip and pulled her into him.

She gasped and held tight.

He found her ear quickly, "Tell me to let go and it's done."

She panted and gathered her bearings, "Just startled… I'm good."

He rubbed her hip gently and sat back on his knees, "Are you sure you want this, baby? I don't want to hurt you."

She looked at him and nodded. He widened his knees as much as his boxers would let him and put both of his hands under her hips. He watched her until he knew she was settled enough. Elliot pulled her hips up into him and her hands instantly closed tightly around his wrists. She struggled for a breath, found it and forced herself to relax.

_It's Elliot. You make love to him all of the time. He's never hurt you. _

"I'm good," she assured him, her pulse telling her otherwise.

He didn't move until he felt her ankles lock behind him, a sign that perhaps she was still willing to do this, "Do you wan-"

"Yes… it's okay."

He swallowed, pulled her hips up again, meshing their clothed bodies with one another.

_One._

She breathed out deeply, it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be, maybe she could do this.

_Two._

She could feel him growing more aroused as he pulled her hips into him. Momentarily, she thought it odd, two lovers experimenting in their sleep wear. She pushed the thought away and focused.

_Three_.

She felt herself pool and her body temperature sky rocket at the sensation of his fingertips digging into her flesh, the small of her back leaving the mattress as he held her and moved over her body. As an orgasm that she didn't want, started to form, she felt herself start to panic.

_Four._

She moaned.

He rocked back for another thrust and she thought she was going to vomit. Instantly, she unhooked her legs from him and roughly pried his fingers from her body, "No!"

"Liv, it's okay," he told her, and quickly removed his hands and held them up to her in surrender, "It's okay, honey… it's me, it's Elliot," he assured her and reached out to pull her close to him in a hug. A kiss placed on her head, "Its okay."

She shook her head, the guilt of enjoying this, even just a little, made her sick, "No more."

He stroked her hair lovingly, "No more, until you're ready…. No more, I promise. You don't have to do anything more."

She sniffled, held him tight, "El… I'm gonna be sick."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You almost ready for school, son?" Elliot asked cradling Solomon in his arms.

"Almost," Sam told him putting his homework in his school bag, "can I have a pop-tart, dad?"

"Didn't you eat breakfast?"

"Yeah, but I get hungry at school and mom lets me take a snack."

"Okay, pop tart it is… want me to get it for you?"

"I will," Olivia's voice caused both of them to turn their heads in her direction. She lowered her gaze when Elliot's eyes met hers. She fumbled for the pop tarts, eventually packing one in his bag and muttering it's location to him.

"Sam?" Elliot called him, "come get your brother for a sec, huh?"

"Isaac is playing with Zeus."

"No, come get Solo, please."

"Oh," Sam smiled and gathered up the small bundle, taking him to the couch and talking gently with him.

Olivia moved immediately to the dishes and ran the water.

He moved behind her and gently put his hands high on her waist, "Don't be ashamed."

She sniffled, "I'm sorry… to make you go through that, and not really get anywhere."

He raised his brows in surprise, "Olivia… we got so far. You came so far. You did so well… you've never let me touch you like that before," he told her gently, "you have no idea what you do to me when you trust me like that… no idea."

"El… I'm sorry."

He reached in front of them and turned the water off, grabbing a towel and drying her hands before turning her to face him, "You've nothing to be sorry about, you and I are gonna work this through one step at a time… we talked about it last night, we're gonna get through this, and you're gonna grow and you're gonna be even more fantastic than you already are."

She exhaled and leaned into him resting her head on his chest, "What if I never get there?"

"You will, I have no doubts."

He held her for several minutes and finally she pulled back to look at him, "El?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't… want to, end the morning… in a funk."

He smirked, "Did you just say funk?"

She swatted him playfully, "I'm being serious."

He grinned and kissed her forehead, "What do you need? Want me to make you some coffee or-oh!" he swallowed hard when she guided his hand to her waistband.

"Look," she whispered low and rubbed his knuckles, "I know this probably sounds weird but… I don't want to remember a time that I was scared of your touch."

He cupped her cheek, "You were scared of me this morning?"

"I know you'd never hurt me… but, El, some things, I can't help," she said apologetically and grazed his hand with her fingertip, "I don't want to end the morning that way."

He looked back as Sam continued innocently with his little brother, "Sam is on the couch," he smirked.

"Honey," Olivia called to Sam, "Baby, I'm gonna help your father and then you'll be ready to go, okay?"

"Kay."

Olivia looked at Elliot, smirked and took his hand, leading him to the boys' bathroom, "Here?" he asked, "are you sure? I mean… the whole sponge bob shower curtain."

She nodded, "I don't want to remember what just happened. I want you're hands on me I want to know that they're still soft."

He nodded, canned the humor, realizing she wasn't asking for a quickie before he went to work, or even gentle love making, she was asking for his touch, his hands, and he was more than happy to oblige her, "I love you," he whispered to her and gently lowered her flannels and panties. He turned her and quickly sat her on the countertop.

She gasped.

"What?" he asked quickly, "What's wrong?"

She smiled, "Um… counters pretty cold," she laughed into his shoulder.

He stroked her back, "Not my idea of how I wanted to take your breath away."

She smiled and pulled back to look at him, "Thank you for making me laugh."

"You're welcome," he said softly and kissed her full on the mouth as he undid the few buttons to her shirt and rested his finger tips on her abdomen, "Mmm," he groaned, "you've lost weight."

"Thank you for making me laugh again," she chuckled.

He kissed her neck, made his way to her jaw line and ear, "Want me to make you come?"

"Yup," she smiled and he kissed his way back down her neck. His only goal to make her feel good, because ultimately, she shouldn't have to forget that she's a strong enough woman to face the things that scare her the most. He doesn't want her to forget that today she started something beautiful. She started to reclaim herself. Today, she decided that being whole was worth it.

He didn't have to pull her thighs apart; she willingly did so and leaned back onto the mirror when he pulled her closer to the edge of the counter by her thighs. He smiled up at her and kneeled slowly before her. Taunting her. Taunting was good. He let his breath cascade from his nose onto the flesh of her inner thigh, and smiled when she pulled her knees up to rest her feet on the counter. The fact that she wanted him, needed him this badly, voided the ache in his knees as he knelt on the hard linoleum and nipped lightly at her folds.

She gasped in air and before she could let it out he stroked her with his tongue, looked up to see that she had let her head fall back. He hooked his hands around her legs and let them grip the top of her thighs as he ran his tongue over her bundle of nerves. She moaned and pulled her head forward. A move that seemed to take all of her willpower.

He felt her caress his shoulders, rest her fingers on the nape of his neck before running her hand through his hair to cup his head and hold him where she wanted him. He buried himself there, plummeted his tongue into her and felt her other hand about his shoulder, digging into him. He felt her body twitch against his tongue and his erection jumped in agreement.

She was panting and struggling for air as she began to whimper, he pulled his head free and kissed his way back up her torso, "What? No," she breathed and gasped feeling his fingers slide easily into her. "Oh," she groaned, "okay, yeah," she panted and pulled him to her mouth tasting her self within him as he moved inside of her. She felt the curl of his fingers even as he grabbed a fist full of her hair and kissed her deeper.

She whimpered against him, moaned at the sensation of pleasure that was slowly pushing away their earlier encounter. The one that made her feel as though she were a failure for struggling with it in the first place. Feeling the sensation in her body dissipate, she quickly pushed the thought of being a disappointment from her mind and concentrated on Elliot pleasuring her. He kept his fingers moving in a come hither motion and added the sensation of his thumb over her center. He moved quickly, keeping his mouth over hers as she screamed a muffled release. She continued to whimper with each exhalation of air, he released her mouth and smiled, turning the fountain on to warm.

She let her head fall to the side, her eyes closed as she hummed trying to catch her breath, "All better?" he nipped her jaw and smirked.

She took a deep breath, found the strength to open her eyes and look at him, "Yeah… thank you," she smiled playfully and tried to move.

He held her still, "I'm not done," he whispered, and kissed her, pulling a wash cloth from the towel rack next to them and holding it under the water. He gently palmed her breast with one hand, smiled against her mouth when she whimpered. He squeezed the water out of the cloth with the other and pressed her back to the mirror as he kissed her.

She arched her back feeling the warm cloth between her thighs, she tore her lips from his and hissed, "You're gonna make me come again."

He grinned, "I'm just trying to help you… but I'll take the bonus."

She wrapped her legs around him, wrapped her arms just as tight as he continued with what he was doing. She held on, threw her head back and let the sensation encompass her. He smiled, folded the cloth and cleaned her again, "Nothing left," she panted.

He helped her into her clothes, helped her stand on shaky legs and kissed her mouth. She cupped his pants, had a momentary guilt trip that he would have to go to work aroused and unsatisfied, "Tonight?"

"Tonight what?" he nuzzled her nose with his, seemingly unbothered by his unsatisfied erection.

"Tonight," she finally caught her breath and looked at him, "maybe you and I could look at some information on the computer, and then… um," she smiled against his ear and stroked him playfully, "ah, I could help you with this?"

He moaned, framed her face with both hands and kissed her hungrily again, "You have no idea what you do to me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Here, let me help you!" Casey grinned as Olivia walked into the restaurant, Isaac holding her hand, as Solomon slept in the baby vest she wore, Hannah in the crook of her arm. Casey took Hannah and grinned, "Wow, she's so beautiful… Olivia, she looks just like you."

Olivia groaned, "Don't say that," she laughed and helped Isaac into the booth seat opting to leave Solomon asleep in the vest and slowly slid in. She cupped his head for added support, "Where's Addison?"

"Father-son work day at the lab," Casey grinned stroking Hannah's hair.

"They have those at pharmaceutical labs?" Olivia asked in curiosity as the waitress placed waters in front of the three of them. She quickly grabbed Isaac's before he could, "Not so fast, monkey… it's the sippie for you," she told him and dug one out of the diaper bag, passing it to him. He inspected it, tried to determine if it was better than the glass, "its sponge bob," Olivia encouraged, and he happily drank and waved at Casey.

"They don't have father-son days at the lab," Casey smiled and waved back to Isaac who shyly buried his face into his mother's side and giggled, "but you try to tell Paul that. He hates sending Addison to day care, he'd rather him hang out in his office and play… I went to visit him this morning after a trial recess and I almost tripped on a toy," she laughed, "he's such an epitome of father."

"That's good!" Olivia grinned and put her hand up, stopping the waitress from placing a menu in front of them, "Unless you want that shredded by my son… I'll just have two cheese enchiladas, please."

The waitress smiled and wrote the order, followed by Casey's, "How are you and Paul doing these days?" Olivia asked as the waitress moved on.

"Good, really good," Casey smiled softly, "You and El?"

Olivia blushed remembering his face buried between her legs.

"I'll take that as a, 'we're having really amazing sex'," Casey smiled and Olivia hurriedly covered Isaac's ears.

"Case!"

"Sorry!" she groaned, " I forgot."

Isaac looked at her and giggled, "Bushted!"

"Huh?" Casey grinned, "Me? Busted? Na, don't think so," she winked at the youngster and he blushed.

"Geeze, Isaac… you got a crush on Casey?" Olivia teased him, "You think Casey is pretty?"

He furrowed his brow, "Mama no!"

"Oh, I think you do!" Olivia laughed and kissed his forehead, careful of Solomon who simply slept.

Hannah fussed and Casey immediately soothed her, "Yep, just like your mother, gets all riled up around food."

"Messed up, Casey."

"Funny though."

"Not really," Olivia laughed on Casey shocked expression, "Have you talked to Alex?"

"Yeah, yesterday, for Addison's party… you're coming right, with the kids."

"Yep… all of them, you'll regret it!" Olivia chuckled and Hannah started to fuss again.

"Has she eaten?"

"No," Olivia swallowed a glass of water, "I prefer not to feed my kids," she teased, then clarified, "she ate, but not very much," she told her as she rummaged for a bottle, "I'm starting to get offended."

"At?"

"That little girl tends to be the anti-breast," she joked and quickly pulled the sugar packets out of Isaac's hands least he open them and make a mess.

Casey took in the scene before her, Olivia with one infant strapped to her abdomen like an appendage, a toddler at her side who was happily up to no good and she was as patient with him as Casey had ever seen. Casey looked down at the little girl in her arms and couldn't help but see the similarities between the infant and her mother, dark hair, strong facial features, big eyes that Casey knew would be turning brown. She wondered how Olivia felt about that knowing Serena didn't have brown eyes. It would be a trait of her father.

"Earth to Casey," Olivia said waving the bottle in front of her, "can you feed her; my hands are sort of full."

"Sure." Casey smiled, adjusted Hannah and gladly gave her a bottle.

"Foooood!" Isaac smiled as the waitress lowered plates to them, "Me!" he protested when there was no food in front of him.

"Share with me." Olivia told him and quickly spooned food to a smaller plate for him. She handed him a spoon. He took it with his left hand.

"What's wrong?" Casey asked noticing Olivia's face faltered.

"Nothing."

"Oh… you look like someone shot your dog, and ran over him with a diesel."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Gee, I'm really hungry now."

"I'm playing… what's wrong?" Casey asked again and maneuvered the bottle in the same hand she held Hannah so she could feed herself. Surely only mother's possessed such skill.

"He's a lefty."

"Cool, that means he's suppose to be real artsy, doesn't it?"

Olivia exhaled digging into her rice, "No one on my mom side is a lefty… no one."

Casey looked at her compassionately, "Olivia… it's just a preference, he might grow out of it, he's only two… hes not doing calligraphy."

"I've watched him," she whispered and kissed his head. He giggled. "He takes things with his left; he eats with his left and," she chuckled, "he even hits with his left."

"Does it upset you?"

Olivia exhaled, "Oh, Casey, I don't want to talk about this with him here. He's my boy, I love him so much." She said and kissed his cheek again as he sloppily spooned refried beans into his mouth.

They talked of positive things, of Addison's upcoming birthday party, of Sam's trust and his occasionally fumble. Casey laughed healthily as Olivia recounted to her how Elliot tried to use her as a shield against Zeus. When stomachs were full and a certain two-year-old, covered in food was sleeping with his head against Olivia's thigh Casey's face grew serious.

"You pregnant?" Olivia asked pointing to the empty plate, "Cause you sure ate for more than one," she teased.

Casey offered smile and Olivia finally noticed the stress in her face, the swollen eyes, "Not pregnant… barely surviving with one, and Paul is the hero parent," she chuckled, "I suck at this whole, 'mom' thing."

"Oh, Casey," Olivia smiled, "that's not true. Believe me when I tell you, Hannah doesn't let just anyone feed her… why do you think that?"

"Ehh," Casey shook her head, "you know what? I think I'm just a little down… must be that time of the month."

Olivia laughed and then eyed her in seriousness, "Casey… you called me to talk and we haven't talked… what's wrong?"

"Do you remember Dr. Savhey?"

Olivia thought about it, "Yeah, the medical examiner that was mugged and murdered?"

"Yeah… they, uh… found his killer."

"Really?" Olivia's jaw went slack, "Wow… how?"

Casey looked down at the bundle sleeping in her arms and rubbed her back gently, stalling for time. She'd just finished a trial today, won even. After this conversation it would be her last. She looked back at Olivia, "An inmate, struck a deal."

"An inmate… who? How'd he get the information?"

Casey exhaled, "You know how things travel in prison, Olivia… apparently there was some talk and everything that the inmate reported to the DA fit… they granted him a deal."

"What kind of time was he doing? What was he locked up for?" Olivia asked ensuring her babies were asleep and not listening to this particular conversation.

Casey looked away and shook her head, "He went away for killing a woman about six years ago, he never actually confessed to killing her or using a gun, so he got a plea then too. I uh… didn't actually handle the case, I don't know the inn's and out's."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at Casey, "What are you telling me?"

"They made the deal with him months ago, Olivia… he was released recently," she whispered and took a file off of the bench seat and handed it to her, "he was your case, your perp."

"What? Who?" Olivia asked in suspicion and opened the file, gasped and dropped it to pull Solomon tight, her other hand protectively on Isaac, "You've got to be kidding me… Casey, this man is a cold blooded murderer!" Olivia hissed, startling Solomon who opened his eyes and started to cry.

"Shh," Olivia cooed bouncing her leg and kissing his forehead softly, "Shh, son, you're okay."

Casey marveled at how easily Olivia had taken to being a mother to four small kids, three of them boys, "Olivia, I'm sorry."

"When did you find out? How did you find out?"

Casey exhaled, "The day before you got Zeus, I… came across a file."

Olivia starred at her, "You're the reason Cragen got Zeus?"

"I encouraged him."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Olivia asked softly, still trying to sooth Solomon whose eyes started to droop again.

"I wanted to provide you with all of the information… not just the paperwork and I had to make sure he wouldn't be able to come after you… you never told me."

"You weren't with SVU then… it just never came up."

"I know." Casey exhaled, "He lives pretty far away, and they know exactly where he is at all times."

Olivia stared at the mug shot in the file, "How do they know?"

"I put in a call… made some last minute changes to his conditions of release."

"How did you manage that?"

Casey gave a sad smile, "Uh… it was probably unethical, best you don't know, but let's say that when I found out who his parole officer was, I called in a favor."

"What are the conditions?"

"Ankle bracelet, he's not allowed within two-hundred yards of your place of employment, four-hundred yards from you're home and a thousand yards from you or a member of your immediate family. He attends rigorous counseling, pees in a cup once a week and has bi-weekly visits from the parole officer, who in turn tells me his findings, and I in turn tell you… should you want me to… Olivia, he so much as doesn't pay his subway fare and they'll lock him back up again."

"So… for all of that to take effect, what do I need to do?"

"You'll need to petition for restraining order and you'll need to provide your address-"

"My address!"

"Relax… it's a formality and it's kept quiet, they'll pick a general location and tell him he's not to be within the vicinity. Olivia," she exhaled, "I saw them fit him with the bracelet myself… we'll know where he is at all times."

Olivia exhaled trying to absorb the information and what it meant. She peered down at the innocence of Solomon who finally slept again. At Isaac who clicked his tongue. They were small. Innocent. Defenseless.

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"Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Corporal, what is it?" Elliot asked, peering up from his folder.

"You're wife is here."

Elliot smiled, "Really? Send her in, please."

"She said she needs help… too many kids."

Elliot grinned and stood quickly, "Hey, you want to see the most beautiful girl in the world?"

The young corporal smiled, "That's what the guys are saying about your ol' lady."

Elliot's smile vanished and was replaced with an iced stare, "Don't you ever disrespect my wife like that again."

The young corporal looked away, "Yes, Sir. I apologize, I was just telling you what the guys-"

Elliot seethed, "And I was just telling you to never let me catch you implying anything sexual or degrading about my wife again, or so help me I will rip your leg off and kick you in your own teeth with it, you understand me?"

The corporal swallowed, "Yes, Sir."

Elliot slid his uniform jacket on and smiled, "No harm no foul, just don't do it again. And for the record," Elliot grinned slapping him on the back and ushering him out of the office, "I was talking about my daughter…she's a cutie pie."

Elliot sensed Olivia's stress standing ten feet away from her, "Liv?" he furrowed his brow.

"Dada!" Isaac grinned and bolted to him causing a uniformed officer to stumble.

"Careful, monkey, tell him you're sorry," Elliot instructed as he picked him up.

"Sawrie!" he giggled.

Elliot rolled his eyes, "You sound so remorseful."

"El?" Olivia approached him. This time with Hannah in the baby vest and a very alert Solomon in her arms.

"What's wrong?" he asked seeing the stress on her face.

"Come home," she said softly, "Please?"

He furrowed his brow, "Honey, we're in the middle of a huge case…what's wrong?" he asked tucking her hair behind her ear and leading her to his office, closing the door and putting Isaac down.

"El, please?" she sniffled, "what time can you get home?"

He looked at his watch, "Shifts over in about two hours… I won't pull over time, but, please? Tell me what's wrong?"

She looked up at him, wiped her nose with the ridge of her hand, "They released White."

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Elliot slipped into the house earlier than anticipated. Then again no one could have anticipated that the thief they were looking for would just walk into the precinct and turn himself in. He liked to call that a freebie.

"Dad?" Sam met him in the hallway.

"Right here," Elliot exhaled, "you okay?"

"Yeah… mom says I have to go take a nap."

"Then why are you on the couch?"

"Listening for her," Sam admitted.

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Why?"

"She is super quiet today. I asked her to sing with me on the way home from school. We usually sing the 'I got a woman' song from Ray, but she was so quiet."

Elliot kissed his head and ran his hand through his hair, "Where's your brothers and Hannah?"

"I put Solomon to sleep and Isaac is asleep, but-"

"But what?"

"Not in his bed… he wouldn't go."

"Where is he?"

"He's sleeping with Zeus."

"Did you put his medicine on?"

"Yeah, but most of the scabs, they're gone now, and mom said all of the kids looked really good."

"Okay… you better go catch your nap, huh?"

"Kay... dad?" Sam smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Can I have a hug?"

Elliot grinned at the pleasant question and bent low wrapping his arm around him. Sam squeezed him tight and whispered in his ear, "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, son," Elliot whispered and didn't want to break contact with him but knew Olivia needed him too, "Go to sleep… we'll play some chess tonight, huh?"

"Kay," Sam smiled and retreated, calling for Tripod and happily going to sleep. Elliot never thought he would see the day where Sam, happily went to sleep.

He loosened his tie only to get the knot stuck. He rolled his eyes at himself and smiled at his sleeping wife, his daughter next to her, surrounded with pillows. He picked Hannah up and placed her in her crib, "How come all you do is sleep?" Elliot smiled softly, "Sleep and eat and poop and pee… I need some smiles from you… maybe some spit bubbles or a laugh, oh, hey… if you're really feeling up to it, you could always call me Dada… can you say Dada?" he smiled, as her eye lids drooped and she sailed off into a land of innocent sleep.

He made his way back to his wife who slept on her belly with one hand under her pillow, the other flung carelessly over head, "Oli-"

She sat up instantly, gasping for air as if she'd been awoken from a nightmare. The reason her hand was under the pillow evident as Elliot starred down the barrel of her berretta, "Liv… it's me."

It took her a second to focus and she immediately lowered the weapon. He took it out of her hand, engaged the safety and cleared the weapon, "It's just me," he whispered and wrapped his arms around her, "No one else… just me."

She exhaled into his chest, "He's got my mind all over the place, El."

"Liv… when all of this happened," he said, finally sitting next to her on the bed, "you acted like you weren't afraid-"

"I was terrified," she confessed, "but a girl has her bravado, right?" she forced a small humorless laugh.

"Why didn't you tell me, you were scared?"

"I was the newbie… I wanted your respect more than your sympathy."

"I would have respected you."

"I knew that… after, though. After we'd been partnered longer, after we started dating and I really saw you for you." She exhaled and shook her head, "I spent three hours filling out restraining order paperwork on all of us and getting the clearance to be able to take Zeus in public."

"Liv-"

"When I went to the school to pick up Sam, I gave his teachers a copy of the picture, and I spoke to his principal, who, ironically seems more inclined to help now," she sniffed and tried to hold back tears, "I told them… I told them if they see him, to get my baby as close to them as possible," she broke and cried as soon as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey, I spoke with a few people… apparently they've got people on his butt around the clock, they know where he is at all times and from what you told me… Casey really tied him up."

She pulled back and shook her head, "We lost Isaac once… I couldn't take loosing any of our babies again."

"Either could I, Liv…but… has he made any indication that he's still got his sights on you?"

She wiped her eyes, "I've been reading his file… Casey gave me his prison shrinks report… he's been rehabilitated, according to the prison system."

"Liv," he whispered and held her tighter, "Honey, we've taught Sam how to use the alarm, he's working well with Zeus, and he even knows the ONSTAR now… we've got the sensors on the windows and we just installed the new gate at the driveway. We have grumpy dog and psycho dog," he chuckled lightly, "our children are safe. You're safe, we're safe," he whispered and kissed her cheek, "I called a lot of people, Liv, as soon as you told me, I was on the phone and everyone is saying he's never showed or mentioned anything about you or us to his cellies or his shrink."

"I know you're right, I do," she sniffled, "But… I looked down at the boys today; at Solo and Isaac and… the thought of White coming anywhere near them scared the crap out of me."

"I know it did… when you told me they released him, I immediately wanted to never let you or the kids out of my sight-"

"Is that why a county car has passed by here every twenty minutes?"

Elliot smiled, "Well, that was my first call."

She chuckled and laid down, pulling him next to her and exhaling, "It's amazing what a name can do to you, isn't it?"

He cupped her face, "Honey, it's just another perp that threatened us, and we put him away… he probably doesn't even care about you anymore."

She nodded and sighed, "There was nothing in his shrink report about us… I think you're right, I think I'm being a very overprotective mother."

He grinned, "I like you being overprotective of our babies… it's sexy."

She laughed, "I'm glad you think sleeping with a gun, and having blood shot eyes and a snotty nose, is sexy," she teased and wiped her face with a Kleenex. He kissed her as soon as she'd lowered her hand.

"Mmm," she moaned into his lips, and maybe it was because of the arousal from that morning, maybe it was simply that her emotions had just been for a hell of a roller coaster ride, whatever the reason was, she found her self pulling his shirt out of his pants and caressing the flesh of his back with her hands, "how are you this warm?"

He chuckled kissing the base of her neck with an open mouth, "You get me hot… I was very hot this morning, Olivia."

She smiled up at him; somehow he'd managed to erase all irrational fears of Richard White coming after her or her family. Somehow his touch, his lips brought her a since of normalcy that she'd needed as soon as her lunch with Casey had ended, "I'm sorry I landed at your office today."

He pulled back and looked at her, "Don't be… it was understandable and you're always welcomed in my office," he kissed her neck again and rubbed his hips into hers, "maybe one day on my desk?"

She squealed and then laughed at her own sound, "Maybe."

"I want you," he growled into her neck as he unbuttoned her blouse, "can I have you?"

She grinned, "I told you I'd help you," she teased and pulled frantically at his pants once he'd unbuttoned them, "dinner is in thirty minutes," she panted and quickly squirmed out of her pants, pushing herself further up the bed and unbuttoning his shirt only to pull him closer to her with his tie and kiss him long and hot on the mouth.

"So," he kicked his pants off, "what your saying is… this is a quickie?"

"Yeah," she laughed and quickly pulled his boxers down to his thigh, leaving him in a badly tied tie, and an open shirt. He crawled over her, let his erection drag over her leg and watched her smile, moving her hand from her face when she tried to cover her blush.

"I wanted you all day," he leered at her, "I wanted you're hands on me, I wanted to slip into and make love to you. I couldn't step away from my desk without risking everyone knowing," he whispered and rubbed himself into her.

She gasped, widened the cradle of her hips and when he rocked back to tease her again, she grabbed his bottom and thrust him into her, hissing and sucking in air as he struggled not to come with the sudden intense feeling of being buried so deeply inside of her, "A little warning, Liv," he groaned.

She rolled on top of him and smiled, "Where's the fun in warning?"

He held her bottom in his hands as she began to move over him, moaning when his hands tenderly caressed her long neglected breast, "El!" she hissed, tightening her muscles on the uptake, loosing on the downward thrust.

He grinned, seeing her face screwed up in passion, her eyes closed, she was enjoying herself. She suddenly stopped and looked at him.

"What?" he panted, reaching up to touch her face.

She grinned and adjusted her legs so she was effectively doing the splits over his body. It was his turn to hiss, to dig his fingers into the globe of her butt, "What's wrong?" she whispered through a smile, "Too deep for you?"

"No," he quipped and panted as thrust gently into her, "Oh, my goodness, Liv," he moaned "you're killing me."

She smiled and laid over him, her pubic bone completely meshed with his, her legs opening her for a completely different sensation, "I've been stretching again."

He whimpered as she moved again, spiraling her hips and pinning his hands neck to him, "This, is for all those times you tortured me, El," she smiled and continued to move seductively over him.

He moaned, "Too much… I don't," he panted, "I want you to come."

She laughed, "Sounds like a per-" She gasped and laughed when he sat straight up, bent her leg over his hip and brought her to her back, quickly covering her and sliding in as deep and as quick as he could.

She tossed her head back, groaned, "You cheater," she hissed but made no effort to change positions. He went after her hungrily and she grinned, enjoying his eagerness to be inside of her, to move with her, "El," she moaned his name locking her legs behind him. He thrust into her holding her thigh in his hand, "faster."

He grinned and moved at her whim, faster, slower, deeper, whatever she wanted until she arched back and broke as he followed right along with her. The frustrations of the day slipping away as she lay satiated in his arms. He pulled the blanket over them and kissed the back of her neck as he buttoned her shirt from behind, he chuckled, "Thought you had me didn't you?"

She tangled her feet with his behind her, "I would have if you didn't cheat."

"You calling me a cheater in the sac?"

"Absolutely… you sac cheater," she grinned and pulled him close to her, caressing his thigh, "I like it when you're all eager."

"Really?" he asked in genuine shock.

"Yeah."

"You used to not."

"Well… now I do… problem?" she laughed.

"No… no complaints here," he said wrapping his arms around her and growing a little more serious, "You okay Liv?"

"Yeah… I think you just kissed my owie and made the hurt go away," she giggled.

"You got all sorts of jokes don't you?"

She turned in his embrace and grinned cupping his flaccid penis, "We still have ten minutes, before I have to put the food on."

He groaned at her touch, "I don't think I can get ready that fast… but uh… if you give me lots of time… I'll be a stud tonight."

She arched her brow and grinned, "You makin' promises, Stabler?"

"Guarantees."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took three long weeks for Dallas St. James to get wind of the retraining orders filed. It took her about a half a second to get from her office to Casey's, "I can't believe you really we're that stupid!" she smiled and took a seat across from Casey.

"Please," Casey smirked motioning to the chair she'd sat in, "Slither up to a chair." Casey exhaled, "Took you long enough, it was getting old waiting around for you to find out."

"You've ruined you're career."

"Maybe… but I'll still run against you," Casey smirked, "And I'll kick your ass too."

"You can't run for D.A. without a law degree."

Casey pointed to the framed degree on her officer wall, "Looks like I'm running then."

Dallas smiled, "You don't get it do you?"

"Get what? That you're Satan incarnate? Sweetie, I got that the moment I met you."

"You're fired," Dallas said with a smile as she placed the separation forms on Casey's desk.

"Gee," Casey scoffed, "There's a surprise I didn't see coming three weeks ago."

"Well, I'm sure you saw this one coming too didn't you?" she asked handing her more paperwork.

"My summons before the disciplinary committee? Oh, no," Casey pretended to be shocked, "I didn't think you'd be that much of a bitch to do something like this," she smiled and narrowed her eyes at her, "Of 'course I saw it coming… you think you're the only one with a brain around her? I measured every last piece of evidence," Casey began to seethed as she stood to her feet and walked around her desk, "I weighed everything important and those two officers weighed in at a much larger value than you or this job or the disciplinary committee, so if you don't mind… I need to pack up my office, it's my son's birthday today and I need to get home," Casey said folding her arms across her chest and glaring, "In other words, you can take this job and stick it where the sun don't shine," Casey took a step forward forcing Dallas back, "Now!" she growled.

Dallas smirked and turned to leave, "Oh," she smiled turning to face Casey again, "I do believe you forgot to measure and weigh one small detail, Mrs. Novak."

Casey arched her brow and tilted her head, "You're sex life?" she quipped, "Oh, sorry, you don't have one, my apologies."

Dallas smiled, "You laugh now, Casey, but what will the committee think when they find out a young ADA such as your self knowingly leaked information to a cop in an on going investigation… a cop, I might add, who more than likely has a personal vendetta against the accused."

"A personal vendetta against Richard White?" Casey scoffed, "Please… she'd run a marathon to get away from him… get out you're wasting my time."

"I'm not talking about White. I'm talking about Chief Serna."

Casey narrowed her brows at her, "Chief Serna?"

"Yes," Dallas raised her brow, "Oh, you didn't measure that piece of information did you?" she asked producing a piece of paper, "it must have slipped out of the file, before I handed it to you." She slid it to Casey and grinned, "I have your job, and now I have your future… get the hell out of my building before I have security escort you out."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It'll be okay," Paul whispered as Casey sobbed into his chest, "It'll be okay."

"I walked right into it," she hiccupped, "I mean… am I that stupid that I didn't see it?"

"She played dirty, not giving you the whole file… Casey, you're not stupid."

"What are we gonna do?"

"We're gonna celebrate our son's first birthday, with our friends and our parents and tonight, when it's just me and you, I'm going to hold you and let you know how beautiful you are and how smart you are and how much I love you. I'm gonna let you know that what you did for the Stablers was ballzy and commendable and I love you for it."

"I don't know what to do," she sniffled, "I've always had a job… I've never needed to depend on anyone I-"

"Is that what this is about?" he asked taking a step back.

"What?" she shook her head, "What?"

"You don't want to depend on me? You think I might fail you? I won't take care of you?"

"What! That's absurd, Paul."

"Is it?" he asked narrowing his eyes at her, "You didn't look for me. You wanted me gone, didn't you?"

"Why are you being so cryptic! Will you please speak English!" she snapped.

"When I left… you're an ADA, you could have found me within hours."

She pointed at him as she walked away and hissed at him, "_You_ walked out on me! _AGAIN_!"

He crossed his arms over his chest and hung his head, "I love y-"

"You love me!" she yelled incredulously, "All of this time, all of this time, it's been poor Paul! Poor Paul, he can't bare to be around Isaac… what about me? Did you ever stop and think about me!" she yelled vaguely aware that Addison had started to cry from the nursery, "I mean did you ever think that maybe, just maybe I was having a hard time! That I wanted to kill myself in that hospital! Did you think about that!" she seethed.

He pushed himself off the counter in anger, "I thought about you every second! Every second you laid there!"

She ran her hands through her hair, "What the hell are we fighting about!"

He swallowed and quieted himself, his son crying from the hall, "You're stubbornness is your own fault… sometimes it's sexy, sometimes… it kills me."

"See," she pointed at him, "right there! It's always about you! It's always been about you!"

"That's bull and you know it!" he growled and walked away.

She stood in front of him, "Where are you going?"

"Addison's crying."

"So, what are you saying? I'm not fulfilling my responsibilities to my son?"

"Case," he growled, "stop this. Now."

"No," she folded her arms, "you want to rehash the past lets rehash it."

"Casey," he warned again, "Stop. It. Now!"

She took a step closer to him and tilted her head, "No."

Addison cried harder, "What's the matter Paul? Not up for it? Come on, lets talk about the baby I killed, or maybe we can talk about how my body couldn't carry the babies to term… is that more up your alley?"

His voice softened immediately, "Casey," he reached to cup her face, she pushed his hand away.

"I know… you want to talk about," she wiped her nose and looked away struggling not to cry, "you want to talk about how I begged for you to stay the day you walked out,"

"Casey-"

She pushed him, "I'll never beg you for _anything_!

"Honey-"

"And that includes staying with me! Because in case you haven't figured it out, I _never deserved_ you in the first damn place!" she yelled with such force that Addison was nearly matching it in his shrieks.

He reached for her again and she pushed him away, turning to gather her son. She picked a shrieking Addison from his crib and laboriously tried to calm him. It wasn't working and she was growing more frustrated.

"Casey-"

"Just leave! You're good at that!" she yelled and Addison cried out again.

"Casey, you're scaring him!"

"He's my son!" she shouted and kept his head on her shoulder as he fought to reach for his father.

Paul did the only thing he could do, and rushed to her enveloping both his son and wife in his arms trapping her in the corner of the room, "Shh," he whispered to her as he stroked his son in an effort to calm him, "It's okay, Casey."

"He doesn't even like me," she sobbed into Paul's chest, "My own son, doesn't even like me, he says toons and dada like it's going out of style. He took his first steps to you… where am I in all of that?"

"Casey," he closed his eyes and kissed her forehead gently removing Addison from her arms, "it's okay, Casey… let me have him," he whispered prying her fingers from him until he was free. Addison clung desperately to his father and cried, "It's okay, big boy," Paul soothed their son as Casey slowly sat in the rocking chair and cried into her hands, "I don't know what to do."

Paul remained silent, let her cry as hard as she needed to as he soothed their son, quickly lulling him back into sleep, although he knew Addison more than likely fell asleep form the labored crying than his soothing voice. He laid his son back in the crib and kissed Casey on the crown of her head, offered his hand to her, "Come on… let's dance."

"Dance?" she sobbed, "Paul, I don't want to dance."

He took her hand and drug her to the living room. He turned the music on and took her back into his arms, "I love you, and I know I said some pretty harsh things… I'm so sorry."

She sniffled, "I'm not innocent… I was pretty cold, I shouldn't have said those things," she cried and leaned into his chest, "I'm so sorry, Paul."

He stroked her back lovingly and looked around their home, "Addison is one today."

"He doesn't like me Paul."

"Yes he does… he loves you."

She pulled away, "He doesn't like for me to feed him, he doesn't walk to me, he cries for you, he doesn't listen-"

Paul kissed her timidly and slowly applied more pressure when she didn't fight him; she framed his face and separated her lips to caress his. They both jumped at the knock on the door, she sniffled and lowered her gaze, "I'm sorry, I said those things… I guess, we're going to Vivian's?"

He rubbed her arms softly, "I'll leave her a message if you get the door."

"Okay," she whispered and turned to leave.

He pulled her back and kissed her again, deeper, fueled by his need for her, his anger and hurt, but mostly his need.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Casey smiled handing her a plate to rinse.

"When El and I walked in… you looked really upset, Casey," she said rinsing the plate and placing it in the drainer.

Casey furrowed her brow and cleared her throat, "Addison… was extra fussy this evening."

"Well, it's his birthday… he'll cry if he wants to," Olivia teased.

"Hey, is this an A and B conversation?" Alex grinned steeping into the kitchen, "Need help?"

"Sure!" Casey welcomed the interruption and laughed with her friends.

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"You look like crap," Elliot playfully punched Paul in the shoulder, "Casey rough you up?"

"She's just a girl," Robert grinned, "You get beat up by a girl?"

Paul lowered his head and sighed, "I think we both beat each other up, tonight."

Elliot and Robert leaned forward "What happened?" Elliot asked fully ready to listen even as Isaac crawled into his lap.

Paul exhaled, watched his laugh in the distance, "Nothing… we'll be fine."

"Sure?" Robert asked, "Cause we're here, man if you need to blow off steam."

"Dad!" Sam groaned walking into the living room with Hannah extended in his arms, his nose turned to the side, "Dad, she stinks like dookie."

"Well change her," Elliot smiled.

"I don't do dookie diapers if you and mom are here," he said as Hannah started to cry being held away from Sam's body.

Olivia made her way to Sam before Elliot could, "Hey, what's the deal with the hold-oh… man she stinks like dookie," Olivia grinned and kissed Sam, "I'll change her, you can go back and play with the rest of the kids… and keep away from the cake, mister, I don't want to see anymore of your finger prints on it."

He grinned and walked away, "I don't see any," he said with a sly smile.

She shook her head and laughed at his humor, "I think Isaac is looking for you."

Olivia gathered her daughter holding her close, "El, can you get me the diaper bag?"

"I will," Casey interjected, "I put it in our room so the kids didn't trip over it," she explained and walked down the hall as Alex fell into the guys conversation sitting close to Robert and kissing his cheek.

"Hi."

"Hi… you want to talk manly talk?" Robert teased.

"Careful Robert, I've seen her hold her own," Elliot laughed but caught a glimpse of Olivia wrapping her arm, lovingly around Casey as they walked down the hall.

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"It just all sort of crumbled and we both said things that, I don't think we meant," Casey exhaled, "Here it is, Addison's birthday and we're fighting."

"Couples fight… it happens," Olivia assured her strapping the diaper about her daughters hips.

"I know… I just," Casey exhaled, "Alex is pregnant."

"What!" Olivia grinned, "She told you? I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to pry."

"She didn't say anything, but… well, have you seen her so happy, since the miscarriage?"

"No," Olivia smiled "If she is, I'm happy for her."

"Me too," Casey nodded, "but she better hurry and tell us, I'm not sure I can sit on something this big."

"You don't have to," Alex interjected as she walked into the room, "you guys talk pretty loud, don't you know when you gossip about someone you're supposed to whisper?" she teased.

"It's true!" Olivia grinned, pointing at Alex, "Look at that grin… you are so pregnant!"

Alex blushed and rubbed her flat belly, "We we're gonna wait until we hit the three month mark… you know… with what happened last time, we didn't want to get our hopes up, but... since I have a prosecutor and detective as best friends… I'm sort of screwed huh?"

"How else did you get pregnant?" Casey teased and gave her a hug, "Congratulations."

"Thank you," She smiled and chuckled when Olivia gave her a tight hug.

"You're gonna be such a good mom," Olivia told her softly, "Hey… are we telling the guys?"

"Well… you're worthless standing up to Elliot's smirk so, I'm sure you'll spill as soon as he asks what we were all doing back here."

Olivia laughed, "Not worthless… just, momentarily disabled."

Alex laughed, "I'll let you tell them whenever you want but for now, Robert and I have to go, thanks for inviting us." Alex furrowed her brow and motioned to the box on the floor, "Casey… isn't that all your office stuff?"

"Oh… um, yep."

Olivia furrowed her brow and adjusted Hannah in her arms as she looked at the box, "Promotion?"

"Um, sort of… I, uh… kind of quit."

Both women starred at her in shock, "What?" Olivia asked, "You quit?"

"Yeah… wanted to spend time at home with my guys, you know?" he said avoiding their gaze. Alex thought she had it rough having a prosecutor and cop as friends, Casey was in the same boat.

"Wow, had you been thinking about it?" Alex asked in curiosity.

"Um… three weeks, actually," Casey exhaled. "Wow, it's so late right, now, I'm surprised the kids are still up," she smiled weakly.

"Oh, yeah," Alex eyed her watch, "I have to go; I'm not allowed to stay out late anymore."

"Doctor's orders?" Casey asked.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Roberts's orders."

Olivia laughed, "Oh, I was there with Elliot, relax Alex… it'll be good, trust me."

"Crazy sex?" Alex asked with a raised brow.

Casey turned to Olivia and waited for an answer. Olivia blushed, "Yep."

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Paul smiled at Casey from the door, their son in his arms, "Hey."

"Hey," Casey smiled weakly, "I'm sorry," she blurted again.

He slowly sat next to him and put Addison in her arms, "He'll cry," she protested.

"No, he wont," Paul smiled and wrapped his arm around her as he peered down at Addison.

"Happy Birthday," Casey smiled, "did you have fun with Isaac and Sam?" she whispered and kissed his face softly, "I'm sorry I scared you today," she confessed, "mama, wasn't thinking real clear, I'm sorry, big boy… will you forgive me?"

Addison stared at her and slowly pointed his finger to her nose and smiled, "Ma!"

She froze and stared at him, "What did you call me?"

Addison pointed to Paul, "Da!" he grinned and pointed back to Casey, "Ma!" he laughed and clapped his hands together bringing his palms to his face and grinning into them.

"He called me Ma," Casey whispered.

Paul smiled, "I told you he loves you."

She exhaled and rested her head on Paul's shoulder, "I'm really sorry… for all the crappy things I said to you."

He kissed the crown of her head, "Well talk about it at Vivian's… but tonight, let's just relax with the birthday boy, huh?"

She smiled, stroked Addison's cheek, "Yeah."

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"Mom!" Sam raced into the room flinging open the door.

"Hey!" Olivia screeched covering herself and removing Elliot from her body as she rolled to the side, "Your supposed to knock, young man!" she scolded as Elliot fumbled for the sheet, "It's late, why are you up, son?" she asked once the surprise of her son barging in on their love making faded.

"Listening to the news."

"Son," Elliot groaned, "You're not supposed to be listening to the late night news."

"I was flipping the channel and I heard Aunt Casey's voice! She's on T.V, mom!"

"Honey, are you sure?" she asked buttoning her shirt, "It's so late, son… how do you know it's her?"

"Cause they said, 'The scandal with Casey Novak'… that's Aunt Casey!"

Elliot groaned, "Probably slamming her about the Rumsfeild Subpoena again… the campaign adds are gonna be ruthless."

"Come on before it's over!" Sam pleaded.

"Alright," Olivia exhaled and slipped on boy shorts under the comforter as Elliot fumbled for his boxers, "Honey, go hit the TIVO button so we don't miss it." She encouraged and smiled when he ran off to do as she instructed.

Elliot pulled her back to the bed and covered her playfully, "We're getting a lock for the door."

"He was excited," she protested.

He rubbed into her and grinned, "I was excited."

She moaned and kissed his mouth, "If I'd known you were gonna want to sac me the moment I told you Alex was pregnant, I would have told you the day I found out."

He kissed her neck, palmed her breast, "Instead you waited, tsk tsk, Liv."

She reached between them and stroked him slowly, "I was trying to make it up to you."

"Well we could always just TIVO it a-"

"MOM!"

She laughed, "Chock it up as foreplay."

He sighed and helped her off of the bed and led her down the hall as Sam waited less than patiently for them, "Listen!"

"Okay, calm down." Olivia grinned pulling him into her lap as Elliot sat.

Olivia stared in shock as the announcers began to narrate the piece on Casey. The scandal of a fallen ADA.


	42. Chapter 42 Prelude

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 42: Prelude

Olivia stared at the television as the two news anchors discussed their lead story, "I don't believe this," Olivia whispered and turned to Sam, "honey, go to sleep, it's late."

"But-"

"No arguing… go," she told him firmly and stopped him as he walked past her. She kissed his cheek, "I love you."

He smiled and hugged her tight, "I love you too… night Dad," Sam said and walked back to the boys' room to go to bed.

Olivia exhaled and turned her attention back to the screen and listened to the two legal reporters as they battled it out over theory and assumption…

"_No Nancy, I completely disagree with you, she should be fired and disbarred-" _

"_Disbarred! Have you lost your mind, friend-"_

"_No, I'm merely say-"_

"_You're saying that Casey Novak, a successful ADA with a great record considering her age, should be fired and disbarred for protecting two cops from a psycho! That constitutes loosing your mind, Tim." _

"_Nancy, listen-" _

_  
"I'm not listening to anything unless you provide me with a logical 'why'."_

"Geese, that woman has balls," Olivia muttered, still shocked that she was watching the two legal reporters defend and slander Casey all in the same conversation, "She said she quit."

Elliot wrapped his arm around her, "No one wants to admit to being fired."

"_I'll tell you the 'why' Nancy,-" _

"_Well by all means, friend, I'm waiting… because let me tell you, I know the 'why'."_

_He laughed, "Tell me, Nancy."_

_Nancy_ _shrugged as if it were obvious, "its election time in New York City and Dallas St. James knew Mrs. Novak was a formidable opponent! She didn't want to loose her comfy position as DA, she got wind of Richard White striking a deal for early release and she forced Mrs. Novak into a corner. If you want to fire people for unethical behavior, then by all means, someone should can Dallas St. James!"_

"_I don't believe that's the 'why'." Tim responded coolly. _

_Nancy's mouth went slack, "You better have a good 'why' then. What's your 'why'? Do tell, because right now I know I'm right and you're not." _

_Tim chuckled, "Nancy this has nothing to do with right and wrong-" _

"_Baloney! That's bull and you know it! Dallas St. James fired Mrs. Novak for unethical behavior, yet, what was so unethical about telling a cop- what's her name?" Nancy paused looking at her notes, "It was the detectives with the little Isaac boy… Detectives Benson and Stabler… what was so wrong about them being warned that this lunatic was back on the streets?" _

Olivia groaned, "Here we go, again."

"It'll be okay," Elliot assured her and stared at the screen in equal shock.

"_Well," Tim chuckled, "I do believe he's a lieutenant in robbery now-" _

"_Fantastic," Nancy shook her head "I stand corrected on his rank, however, friend, you still have yet to tell me your 'why' and we're running out of time." _

_  
"Mrs. Novak, leaked information to an officer who was responsible for blowing Chief Carlos Serna out of the water! It should be obvious to you Nancy." _

_  
"Well, make it simpler; if not for me than for our viewers," She smirked, "What does Chief Serna have to do with Casey Novak telling Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler that Richard White was paroled from prison?" _

"_Well from the court papers I've been reviewing, Richard White," Tim exhaled, "struck a deal with the DA and provided them with information that panned out in the Dr. Savhey case-" _

_  
"The case of the murdered Medical examiner?" _

"Correct." 

_  
"So… again, I beseech you, Tim… what does that have to do with Chief Serna?" _

_Tim chuckled, "Nothing, unless you consider the fact that they are investigating Chief Serna for highering some one to murder the good doctor to keep the Isaac Stabler cover up a secret." _

"_You're telling me, today, that you believe Casey Novak should be fired and disbarred for warning this family, who, keep in mind lost their son, for over a year, and apparently you're suggesting that was a result of one of NYC's finest,"_

"_I'm saying that yes, she should be fired and disbarred." _

_Nancy_ _paused, "You're really telling me that Mrs. Novak should be disbarred for protecting the people of NYC… something she swore to do." _

"_No Nancy, again, you're putting your own twist on things," _

"_Well then help me iron it out, tell my exactly why you believe Casey Novak should and will be fired and disbarred." _

"_Well," Tim smirked, "She's already been fired… but there are specific reasons why she should be, one was leaking information in an ongoing investigation to an officer who may or may not want revenge for her son's disappearance, the other is leaking confidential information about Richard White, such as prison records, shrink records evaluations, home address and conditions of parole, this is a travesty to our rights to privacy." _

"_A travesty?" Nancy raised her brows, "Wow… hey, I mean, lets not forget the real travesty, a mother and father lost their son, a doctor was murdered, New York City was betrayed by one of it's top officials and a very promising ADA has been unjustly attacked for doing her duty not just as a friend to these people but as a sworn defender of our laws… but hey, let's worry about who knows Richard White's address, right? Because what you're telling me is that he's more important than all of the other stuff, right? A man, who, by the way, was sent to prison for killing an assistant attorney! Hello! I can't believe you're telling me he's more important. How do you sleep at night?" _

_  
"Nancy-" _

_  
"I'll tell you something, friend, I'll give you the argument that she should be fired. No ADA in their right mind would have done that and expected not to get fired or at least a good butt chewing by their boss, however, I strongly disagree that she should be disbarred, in fact, if we had more attorneys like her that went by the spirit of the law rather than the letter, we wouldn't need disciplinary hearings." _

_  
"Well, I think the bottom line is that she willingly ruined her career," _

"_Yeah," Nancy smirked, "With no help from Dallas St. James I'm sure… let me ask you something Tim, and be completely honest with me, it's just you me and a million or so viewers." _

_  
He chuckled, "Okay." _

_  
"Who would you rather have in office, who would you rather work for? Dallas St. James or Casey Novak?" _

_He grinned, "At the risk of giving up this debate… Casey Novak hands down."_

_Nancy smiled in victory, "Exactly, my friend." _

"I don't think I want to watch anymore of this," Olivia exhaled as Elliot shut the television off.

"What was she thinking?" Elliot groaned scrubbing his hand over his face.

"She was protecting us… she always has," Olivia exhaled, "I knew she didn't quit, there was something about the way she said it, the fact that she didn't tell any of us that she was even considering it, that just didn't seem like her."

"Mom… is Aunt Casey in trouble?" Sam asked from the hallway.

"Baby, why are you up?" Olivia asked jumping from the surprise of hearing his voice.

"I wanted to hear," he exhaled, "Is she in trouble?"

Olivia made her way to him and kneeled, "Yeah son, you're aunt is in a lot of trouble."

"Will she be okay?"

"She's a strong woman, I think she'll be fine but she's gonna hurt a lot."

Sam exhaled, "Who's Richard White?"

_No. No. No. No. No. No._

"He's a man that you're mom and I arrested a long time ago," Elliot interjected and picked his son up, "

"The lady made him sound really bad… is he going to try and hurt you?"

"No," Olivia smiled walking behind them to the boys' room, "he's not, don't worry at all about that, okay?" she asked as Elliot gently put him in his bed and covered him.

"He lives very far away from us," Elliot assured him, "Now… go to bed, young man," Elliot smiled and kissed his forehead, "you're supposed to be up bright and early."

Sam grinned, kissed his parents good night and pulled the covers tight around him as Tripod adjusted himself to the contours of Sam's body and sighed deeply. Olivia moved to check on Isaac and chuckled, seeing him sleeping on the dog bed with Zeus, "El, get the camera!" she laughed and moments later took the picture of Isaac using Zeus' belly as a pillow, his legs sprawled out as he slept, typical toddler drool escaping his mouth, "At least he has his boxers on," she smiled.

Elliot bent low to gather his son, Zeus moved immediately once Isaac's head left his body, in a matter of seconds Zeus' muzzle was inches from Elliot's face. A low growl before acknowledging his owner's presence and simply laying back down to sleep, "Well," Elliot swallowed, "I think I wet myself."

Olivia laughed, "Ah, that was just a friendly warning… you know how attached Zeus and Isaac are becoming."

Elliot shook his head with a grin and laid Isaac back into his bed covering him with a thin blanket and kissing his forehead before lacing his hand with Olivia's and leading her back to their own room, stopping to check on the babies before slipping in, "We should ca-" before he could suggest calling Casey to check and see if she was alright the bedside phone rang.

Olivia picked it up quickly least he babies be woken, "Stablers, this is Olivia,"

"Is Casey there? Have you heard from her?"

"Paul?"

"Olivia, I can't find her, I've been everywhere, even Sara's grave and I can't find my wife," He told her frantically, "I have no idea where she is if she's not with you."

"Did you call Alex's?"

"She's not their either," he exhaled in frustration, "they ran this news story this afternoon and the press has been here non stop… she just disappeared."

"What? She couldn't have just disappeared."

"She did!" he said frantically, "She went to the back yard and never came back!"

"Okay, um… give me a second to get dressed and make sure my kids are okay, and I think I may know where she is, I'll go get her."

"Where, please tell me!" Paul begged.

"Paul… come on… you know Casey, she'll push you and fight with you and say things she doesn't mean, let me try to find her and I'll keep you in the loop okay?"

He exhaled into the phone, "Addison called her mom, on his birthday."

Olivia smiled softly, "I'll call you in an hour."

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"You're sure?" Olivia asked Elliot as she pulled a NYPD sweater over her Underarmour shirt and quickly pulled the draw string to her track pants.

"We'll be fine," he assured her, "there's milk in the refrigerator, we just put all the kids down and if I'm bored I have paperwork to do anyway."

"I'll try to get home as soon as I can," Olivia said quickly kissing him on his mouth and grabbing her keys to go.

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It was just a hunch that Casey would be at the same place she and Olivia used to run everyday at. It was the place where their friendship had slowly developed and grew from miles of running and trusting each other with meaningless information before slowly letting one another in with more vulnerable information. It was the same place that they sprinted through when cases were too much both in the courtroom and the bull pen. It seemed only somewhat logical that Casey would return to the place where their friendship truly began. A friendship that had brought Casey both heartache and joy. Olivia pushed the guilt aside and scanned the darkness for several minutes until she saw Casey in the distance. Oddly, Casey was running in jeans and a sweater; she must have simply wandered out here.

Olivia ran double time to catch up with her. It been awhile since she'd run and truly she wished she'd opted for a sports bra before leaving the house. She ignored the pain in her chest, and focused on her breathing as her sneakers struck the ground and slowly, she eventually ended up running alongside her friend, "I could kill you for making me run… I just had two kids you, know," Olivia told her with a small smile as they fell into stride with one another. A stride both of them knew from years of doing it.

Casey remained silent and Olivia noticed the far away look in her eyes, the sweat on her skin despite the cold night. They ran in silence until Olivia attempted another line, "I thought," she breathed through her nose and out her mouth, "you hate running in the cold?"

Silence save Casey's Nikes assaulting the ground below her, her breath steady and cool.

Olivia mentally calculated that they must have been running just shy of a mile since she joined Casey and she was feeling every second of it, "How many miles have you done?"

Casey held up hand indicating she'd run four already.

"You've been running, in the dark… not exactly safe Casey, especially alone."

"Well," Casey said keeping her pace even, but not slowing down to give Olivia mercy, "I'm sure you have a gun strapped to your ankle, so we're good."

Olivia smirked, "You didn't think Elliot was gonna let me come out here at night without it did you?"

Casey remained silent and they simply ran together. It was when Olivia calculated they'd been on their second mile, perhaps a half a mile more that she couldn't take it and she grabbed Casey's arm stopping them both, "Case," she gasped, "Case, you got to talk."

Casey bent over, supported her weight on her knees and breathed deeply, "You shouldn't have stopped like that… we're both gonna suffer now."

"Just talk," Olivia panted, trying to catch her breath, "That's all Casey… I saw the news… why-why didn't you say something?"

Casey stood straight, wiped the sweat from her face, "Say what Olivia?" she asked sadly, "I fell into a trap I didn't see, I was blind sided and I paid for it. I'm an attorney I should have seen it coming a mile away," she said miserably and struggled for breath.

Olivia rested her hands on her hips, "That's a stupid reason."

"Excuse me?" Casey furrowed her brows, "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that just because you're an attorney, and a good one, I might add, it doesn't mean that you should have known what was happening."

"Doesn't it," Casey challenged, folding her arms across her chest.

"Well, if we're going off of your logic than I should have known Isaac was going to be kidnapped."

"That's not… fair, Olivia."

"Isn't it? I'm a cop… my son was kidnapped my friends were badly beaten… I should have seen that coming a mile away."

"Oliv-"

"Paul is frantic."

Casey hung her head and shook it in an effort not to cry.

Olivia tipped her face up and smiled softly, "Don't bow your head Casey, you proved that you have more ethics and morals and understanding of what it is to be a person, than anyone I've known."

A sobbed escaped from Casey and Olivia wrapped her arms around her, holding her close, "Come home, honey. Paul is worried sick and if you need to get away from the reporters… you can sleep at our place, Paul can come with Addison. Elliot and I will get you two through."

Casey cried and held tight, "I'm scared to death."

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"I should call Paul," Casey whispered once she got over the initial shock of being confronted by a very pissed off Doberman that responded instantly to Olivia's commands and simply walked away uninterested in eating Casey, like she'd feared when he snarled and snapped at her, "that dog was worth the cash."

"I called Paul while you were changing. He's relieved and yeah, Zeus is good," Olivia assured her as she pulled out the sofa bed, "he loves Isaac and lets Isaac be completely rude and irritating to him. He'll pal around with Sam and even likes Sam's grouchy dog… I think Elliot is a little leery of him, though."

"Yeah?"

"Well… I think Elliot needs to spend more time with him and they'll be fine, but, let's just say Zeus isn't afraid of Elliot," she chuckled, soothing out the sheet, "Restroom is yours if you need it" she exhaled, "Casey… if you want to talk… I'm sure Elliot is already asleep and won't mind me slipping in later-"

Casey shook her head, "I can't," she whispered, "I don't… I don't even know where to start… I wound up running only because I forgot my purse and couldn't buy a drink at the bar."

Olivia exhaled and hugged her again, "Get some rest, Paul said to call him when you want him to come and get you and he said to tell you that Addison took a bath and is sleeping on your side of the bed."

Casey chuckled and wiped a tear, "He sneaks Addy in bed all the time."

Olivia smiled softly, "Night Casey."

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"Find her?" Elliot muttered pulling his wife close to him as soon as she slipped between the sheets.

"Yeah," she whispered and kissed his mouth, "I love you."

He smiled through his sleepy haze, "I love you too… she okay?"

"She's gonna have a really crappy road ahead of her, but… she'll get through."

"She's strong," Elliot said tangling his feet with hers, "Night, Liv."

"El?"

"Hmm?"

"She put everything on the line for us, her job, her family, her future… she put it all on the line to help us."

Elliot finally opened his eyes, "And I can't tell you how much I appreciate her for doing that… we'll help them through this, no matter what it takes," he assured her.

"We need to be there for them… no matter what."

"And we will be… we'll help them anyway we can, and if we can't we'll figure out how we can. I won't let them fall by the wayside, Liv… I promise you," he whispered and nuzzled her nose with his before kissing her mouth, "Go to sleep."

She smiled softly, "Night."

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Casey's eyes shot open at the sound of children talking. She sat up, struggled to see the time on her watch in the dark and groaned. She'd fallen asleep an hour ago. She slipped out of the bed noticing the room that Sam and Isaac slept in had the light on and through her sleep deprived state she recognized it as Sam's voice coming from the restroom as he fought with his little brother.

She made her way to the restroom and peeked in to see Sam trying to sit Isaac on the toilet, "Come on, bro," Sam groaned, "You said you had to wee wee… wee already."

Isaac cried and kicked his feet, "No sit!"

"Sam?"

Sam gasped at the new voice, almost dropped Isaac but drew him close to his body and immediately turned around to the voice, holding Isaac tight.

"I'm sorry, it's just me," Casey said softly, "you're parents are asleep… what's happening in here?"

Sam furrowed his brow and lowered Isaac to the ground, "How come you're here? It's very late and mom said you were in a lot of trouble."

Casey smiled faintly, "You're mom invited me to stay for the night… can I help you with Isaac?"

Sam exhaled, "Usually, Mom or Dad does this 'cause I can't tell if he misses or not. He doesn't like to sit and pee he's so stubborn, Aunt Casey, he can't just be normal."

Casey laughed softly, "Sam, maybe for him, sitting doesn't feel normal."

"Well he's gonna have to deal," Sam shrugged, "Cause I can't let you see him naked. It's not right."

Casey chuckled, "Honey, I was changing that boy's diapers and feeding him right along with you're parents, believe me when I tell you its okay."

"No," Sam reiterated his position and stood in front of Isaac, as the toddler moved his stool closer to the toilet.

"Sam," Casey kneeled in front of him, "I'd never hurt you're brother."

"I can't let you be around him when he's naked… those are little boys' private parts and private means that only mom and dad can help him and sometimes me when mom and dad are really tired… 'cause I don't like to talk to him when he's naked."

She looked past Sam to Isaac and watched as he searched around for something as he held his crotch and did the typical 'pee dance', "He's really got to go… why don't you help him and I'll sit over her and just tell you if he misses, huh?"

"No… mom and dad are asleep. I'm being responsible for Isaac… you can't touch him."

She furrowed her brow as Isaac spotted the rubber ducky and simply plopped it inside the toilet bowl, "Honey, he just threw his ducky in the toilet… will you please let me help you guys or at least let me go get your mom or dad?"

"No, we're big boys," Sam explained as Isaac simply climbed back on his step stool and leaned his hips all the way forward like Elliot had showed him.

"Bang! Bang!" Isaac chirped, holding himself and shooting his urine at the rubber ducky as it floated helplessly in the water.

Casey grinned and kissed Sam's head, "He made it."

"Huh?"

"You're brother… he just went potty by himself."

Sam furrowed his brow, "Did you see anything?"

Casey smiled at his protectiveness and cupped his cheek, "No…. you're a good brother."

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"Aunt Casey?" Sam called into the living room after he'd settled Isaac back in bed and allowed Zeus to jump on bed next to him. If he could have Tripod, Isaac could have Zeus.

"Hmm?" Casey groaned from the bed, "Sam, do you actually get sleep? Or are you like you're mom?"

"Mom has been super tired since Solo and Hannah came home," he said softly.

Casey sat up in the bed and smiled at him, "You okay? Want me to get your mom?"

"I'm fine… are you okay?" he asked crawling onto the sofa bed and sitting cross-legged in front of her.

"Yeah, just sleepy," she hinted.

"You're voice is so sad."

She exhaled, "I had a rough day."

"Did you tell my mom?" He asked crawling closer to her, ""Cause she can fix anything… even sad hearts."

She pulled him close to her and rubbed his arm vigorously, "You need to get to sleep, or you're gonna clunk out in school."

"Why do adults always ignore my questions? When I ask Crystal questions, she doesn't ignore my questions, and I ask her hard questions, sometimes about the scar on her face and sometimes about the people who pick on her… she's my age and she never ignores my questions."

"I'm not ignoring you, Sam," Casey whispered, "sometimes… it's just hard to answer questions."

"What's so hard about it? I think of a question and you tell me the truth… that's not hard."

"Sam-"

He came to his knees and framed her face, rested his forehead against hers, "I'm my mother's boy… if you tell me why you're sad, I can make it go away, I can fix it like she does."

"Sometimes," Casey sniffled, "sometimes I want to pile all of my stuff in my car and drive away."

"Where would you go?" he asked sitting in her lap.

"Just, away."

"You're sad because you feel like you're alone?"

"Yeah… how did you know that?"

"Because, when I'm sad… sometimes I just want to go away too."

She ran her hand through his hair, "You're a really special boy you know that?"

He grinned, "My dad says so," he felt her face and gently swiped the moisture from her cheek, "why are you crying Aunt Casey?"

She pressed her lips tight to hold in her sob but couldn't, "I'm so afraid."

"Of what?" he whispered and held her tight, "Mom say's there is no boogey man, and if you're scared of the dark like Isaac, Mom can give you one of his night lights. If you're scared that no one loves you… you're wrong, because I love you, and I know mom and dad love you because if they don't see you and Paul for a long time they talk about you and they miss you."

She sniffled, "Really?"

He chuckled, "Yeah. Mom, she loves you and when you hurt she hurts, and when she hurts, me and Dad hurt… don't hurt us Aunt Casey. You have to get better, you're heart has to smile."

She wiped at her tear, "I'm scared that… well, all I've ever known is how to be an attorney, and now someone wants to make it so that I can't be one anymore, do you understand that?"

"Yeah… but Casey… all I ever knew was hurt, and now I know love."

She arched her brows and chuckled, "You are a deep little boy, you know that?"

He furrowed his brow, "Dad says I'm short."

She laughed, "No, no I mean… you sound like you are a lot older and wiser than a nine year old."

"Hey!" his lips formed an 'O' of surprise, "Nine year olds are cool."

She grinned, "Yeah they are," she exhaled, "you better get your body back to bed."

"Aunt Casey?"

"Yeah?"

"Just because you've only known one thing for a really long time, it doesn't mean your heart won't smile when it finds another thing."

She smiled, kissed his cheek, "You're a brilliant little boy… but your mother will kill us both if you don't get some sleep."

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Elliot lazily opened his eyes to find his wife laying next to him shirtless, feeding Solomon, "I didn't hear you get up."

"That's because I was in stealth mode," she whispered, "Hannah woke up around five and this little guy woke up right after she finished eating, Sam and Isaac are sound asleep and Casey is snoring," she chuckled, "I love you."

He grinned, "I love that you tell me that first thing in the morning… it makes my days easier."

She raised her brows, "Serious?"

"Yeah, why would I joke about that?" he smiled and stroked her cheek with his finger before kissing his son softly on his own cheek, "He bite you this morning?"

"Nope, but he's feasting, there's no doubt about that," she grinned, supporting his head, "I had to switch sides, normally I don't have to."

"Well," Elliot smiled, "You've got amazing breasts, he's no fool."

"El!" she blushed, "shut up."

"I'm being serious," he chuckled and then suddenly grew more serious, "Liv?"

"Yeah?" she asked stroking their son's hair, "What is it?"

"When we make love… can I touch them, now?"

She blushed, "El-"

"Not hard, I know… I just… I really like them," he grinned.

"El, its-you know what happens right after I come, my milk goes everywhere and it's embarrassing. I know you pretend not to notice, but I notice… it can't be any better with your hands and mouth on me," she said apologetically and saw him try to hide his disappointment. She cupped his cheek and smiled at him, "Especially since I enjoy your mouth so much."

His grin quickly voided his disappointment, "Well then, I guess I'll have to be a patient man."

She hooked her hand around his neck and pulled him to her kissing his mouth, "You've always been patient with me… thank you."

He smiled, rested his hand on Solomon's filling belly, "This kid is gonna eat us out of house and home," he joked, but when Olivia didn't laugh, he looked up at her to see her eyes pool. "Hey," he scooted him self closer, "Hey, you were happy, what happened?"

She smiled and licked her lips, "I'm still happy, I just-why _are_ you so patient with me?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know… it has to be old, this can't be what you thought you were getting yourself into when you asked me to marry you."

He smiled softly and continued to rub Solomon's belly, "You are an amazing woman, and I knew when I married you that we'd get through anything together. Nothing about you bothers me."

She arched her brow, "I'm not perfect."

"Didn't say you were perfect… but you're perfect for me."

"But-I mean- I'm sorry I'm so… I'm sorry; it takes me a little time to get through things."

"But you get through them, right? Who cares if you take your time, I don't."

"I don't want to rob you of anything… sometimes I feel like that's what I'm doing by asking you to be patient with me."

He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, "I'm being selfish when I wait for you," he said as if it were a confession.

"Huh?"

He smiled softly, "I know that when you work through something… even if it's as small as dealing with Isaac being left-handed-"

She opened her mouth to protest but stopped when he covered her cheek with his hand, her lips with his thumb.

"I've noticed, Liv… but I've also noticed that you give it everything you got to look past it, and to me, that's what makes you so sexy… so, when you work through the personal stuff, the stuff like you're doing now… it's sexy to see the end result."

"Which is?" she asked softly.

He smiled, kissed the corner of her mouth, "When you come in my arms, you have no idea what that does to me…to know that it's the trust you're putting in me; that's better than any orgasm you could give me."

She blinked and stared at him taking in his words, "I thought I was ripping you off."

He chuckled, "No… delaying maybe, but, like I said, it's always been worth it."

"Really?" she asked again, not sure she believed a truth so simple.

"Liv," he laughed softly, and held her gaze, "do you remember when we went the mountains?"

She looked away, her face growing downcast, "How could I forget… we lost Isaac."

"We have him now," he smiled, "no sad faces, Liv, because I wasn't talking about that… I was talking about the hot tub."

She grinned and blushed, "Yeah," she nodded, "I remember that."

"You worked through that… and I have to tell you, holding you and seeing you come in my arms in spite of your worries, that was the biggest turn on. That was so sexy."

She eyed him and smiled softly, pulling him in for another kiss. She felt the tickle of his tongue at the seam of her lips and she happily separated them and moaned when his tongue slid into her boundaries caressing her mouth as his hand fit perfectly at the back of her neck. She rested her hand on his chest as a buffer to protect Solomon from their bodies getting too close. Olivia gently pushed his tongue out of her mouth and slowly, with seductive ease ran her own over his teeth. He moaned and she suddenly groaned sharply and pulled away wincing.

"What? W-what?" Elliot panted.

"He nailed me," she groaned, closing her eyes tight, "that hurt," she let out a small chuckle, "and that's Solomon Stabler signing off."

"He really did go back to sleep didn't he?"

"Yep," she smiled and looked past him to the clock, "you're gonna be late."

"You make me want to call in sick so I can stay home and make love to you all day."

She laughed, "I think you just want me barefoot and pregnant for the rest of our lives!"

He tilted his head, "What's wrong with that?"

She smiled, "Absolutely nothing."

He smirked, "Are you saying you want another one?"

She laughed again and arched her brows, "Don't you dare try to get me pregnant right now or in the next year or two. I'm on overload right now as it is, but… I'm not saying I don't want another one."

He grinned, "I guess this means… we better buy those condoms in bulk, huh?"

She licked her lips, laughing as she adjusted Solomon and without concern for a shirt unbuttoned his onsie, "I'm saying… I want to enjoy my babies, my monkey and my hero… we've got four, three of them under two… two of them still nursing, sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding on… adding another one too soon wouldn't be fair to the kids we have now."

"I agree," he smiled and got up to hand her a pamper. "What do you want to do for birth control?"

"Beat you to it," she smiled, "I have an appointment after Vivian's today."

He tilted his head and frowned, "You have an appointment with Vivian?"

She cleared her throat as she cleaned her son and gave him a fresh pamper, "Um… yeah, she wanted me to come in after we, uh… tried, it."

He arched his brow, "Oh… okay… you need anything from me?"

She fastened Solomon's clothes, "Actually yeah… could you do me a favor?"

"Sure, lay it on me."

She looked at him, tilted her head and exhaled sharply, "Could you touch me? All the time, whenever you can?"

"Excuse me?"

"My hips… could you?"

He narrowed his eyes, "Like… in private or… just, whenever?"

"Whenever you can… will you? Could you do that for me?"

He smirked, reached out and touched her hips and for the first time, didn't feel that almost imperceptible flinch that had told him, so many years ago, to avoid that area. He rested his forehead against hers and nodded his consent.

She closed her eyes and grinned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"This is beyond disgusting," Donovan groaned.

"Hope you haven't eaten yet," Melinda smiled through her protective face shield.

"Chloe cooked this morning… I definitely ate," he smiled and groaned pulling the sheet of a small bucket back to reveal the two breast that had been removed from the female victim, "and I may be puking right now-who does something like this?" he growled in frustration, "What could she have possibly have done to deserve this- I'm gonna ralph."

"Hey!" she stared at him with wide eyes, "No one on my team has ever tossed their guts during an examination, I'm not letting them start now, suck it up."

He smirked, "Nice to see you still have your compassion."

She arched her brow, "What compassion?"

He donned his gloves and muttered, "Exactly."

"What?" she looked at him with expectant eyes, "What'd you say?"

"Nada," he grinned taking a seat on a stool and hovering over the butchered breast. "Why do you think the killer didn't remove the skin from her breast?"

She scoffed, "I'm not even going to try and profile this cat… this is so far beyond sick that I'm sure there is going to be some Court T.V forensic psychic show about it."

He chuckled, "You really hate those, huh?"

"They're crap in a can," she muttered back closely examining the exposed muscles of the body, "not one damn sloppy cut… everything is in tack, this woman was very physically fit."

"How so?"

"Well, unless, our perp took the time to trim off the fat… she has very little and her legs are solid muscle… probably a cyclist or soccer player."

"Did we make an I.D yet?"

"Nope, not yet… so, Chloe cooked for you this morning, huh?"

"Yep," he grinned and very delicately removed one of the breasts and placed it under the light for examination.

"It's pretty early."

"Which was why I was grumpy when you called me in."

"Right, but, uh… since it's so early, Chloe would have had to be even earlier at your apartment, and she has a toddler… no woman would do that."

He laughed heavily, "What are you asking me?"

"She stayed at your place last night?"

"Yep," he beamed, "she sure did."

"You sac her?"

"Melinda!" he scolded, "Too far."

"Alright, alright, sorry… just uh… I know when Cleo and I fight, the sex is always good afterwards," she teased.

He blushed a furious rose, "Do you mind? I have a breast to examine!"

She laughed at his lame response, "Yeah, I bet you had two to examine last night-"

He looked at her, held up a scalpel and playful waved it, "One day Melinda, one day I'm gonna come in, I'm gonna loose my mind and I'm gonna shank you."

"Shank me?" she laughed, "Wow… you just keep providing me with more ammunition to make your life miserable… you got vagina duty."

"Melinda!"

"Hey, save it… I'm talking about this one, unless of course you're in to necrophilia and if that's the case, you're fired," she smiled.

He furrowed his brow at the body, "No."

"Yes."

"No… and you're not gonna Roshambo me for it either."

"Donovan-"

"No, in the last week I have helped you pull a metal rod out of a man's penis and a letter from his anus, sorry, Melinda but my cooperation ends at vagina duty."

She smirked and turned around to grab another set of gloves, "Bet that's not what you were saying last night-"

"Visions of me shanking you… are dancing in my head."

"Alright, I give," she laughed, "Man, you got a woman and now you're just no fun."

"She's a good person," he smiled and started to compose his paperwork for his examination.

"So… you guys talked?"

"Yeah… Stablers are pretty creative."

She laughed, "Yeah, I planted a little seed I knew they couldn't resist."

"They've got a good marriage… in spite of the stuff they've been through, those two hold strong to each other."

"They always have," she laughed, "you should have seen them when they were first partnered. There was so much chemistry between those two. Elliot was on her like white on rice and she was the one always shooting him down… thank goodness he was thick headed enough not to take no for an answer."

"They started dating while they were partners?"

Melinda laughed through her mask, "Yeah, I think they both liked to pretend no one noticed, some of us did and just chose to leave them alone."

He arched his brow, "You left someone alone? Why do I find that hard to believe?

"Shut it," she raised her hand to silence him, "I need not hear your crap."

Donovan smiled and cautiously placed one breast on a scale and recorded its weight in his paperwork. Furrowing his brow at three sutures around the areola, "She said she'd marry me."

Melinda looked up at him and pulled her mask off, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," he grinned, "It'll be a long engagement… but she said, yes."

"Wow… that's a relief, I really thought you were gonna marry that Xbox."

He groaned, "Can't you just be happy for me for five seconds?"

She smiled and put her tools on the counter next to the corpse, "Donovan, I'm so happy for you, you don't even know," she told him and walked around to him giving him a hug, "she's lucky to have you're rotten ass."

He rolled his eyes, "Thanks Melinda."

"No problem," she quickly removed her arms from him only to hear him laugh out loud, "What?"

"I can't believe you actually counted for five seconds before you insulted me."

She smirked, "I knew you'd count.'

"Hey, what do you make of these stitches here?" he asked avoiding her comment as he removed the breast from the scale and placed it back under the light.

She looked closely, "That's not standard sutures."

"See," he smirked, "stating the obvious is what makes you brilliant."

"Sewing thread and they are very taut… the killer just, improvised and sewed her areola back on?" she brainstormed.

"Well, I think a more important question is… why did the killer find it necessary to remove the flesh in the first place? The other breast doesn't have it."

Donovan and Melinda stared down at the mass of flesh, "Are the weights different?" Donovan asked and immediately weighed the other breast.

"Even if it is… it's not uncommon for one breast to be a little larger than the other," she exhaled, "What's the weight?"

"It's lighter… considerably." He furrowed his brows, "Really? A woman's breasts are like that?"

She looked up at him like he had two heads, "You didn't know that?"

He shrugged, "How am I supposed to know… Chloe's perf-" he stopped when she arched her brow.

"You've never been with another woman _besides_ Chloe?"

"That's none of your business," he protested through a shy smiled he couldn't help but produce.

"Oh," Melinda beamed in sheer evilness, "the hell I can put you through with that piece of information."

He handed her the scalpel, "How about you just see what's under the sutures, since it's not on the other one, huh?"

"Sure thing," she smirked and took the scalpel, "I mean you've probably never done something like this… you're probably a… _virgin_ at it," she laughed and pulled her mask back up, "oh the fun I'm gonna have with you today."

"Shove it."

"Sure that's what you did last night," She chuckled and shook her head, "Sorry, sorry, just… that was my last one, I promise."

He rolled his eyes, "Don't you have stitches to cut?"

She still continued to laugh as she hovered over the flesh and motioned to cut the suture until she suddenly stopped and grew serious, "The nipple is erect."

"So… hurry up."

She straightened her body and looked at him, "The man's penis was erect."

"Ooookay, well, lunch is coming up pretty soon, and I'd like to eat-"

"They're related."

"Who is?"

"The killings."

"How do you figure that?" he scoffed, "You got a guy with his head lopped of and a woman who's been skinned. It's a guy and girl, opposite sides of the tracks there's nothing that puts them together."

"I got lunch that says there's a note inside of this woman's breast, just like there was one in our other victim's rectum."

"I got lunch that says you've finally lost your mind."

"You cut," she said handing him the scalpel.

"No, You. I did it last time."

She smirked at him, "If I do it, we're X-raying first… could be a bomb for all I know."

He arched his brow and slacked his jaw, "Oh, so when I have to dig in some stiff's anal cavity, it's 'hurry up I'm hungry,' but when you've got bomb duty, it's, 'lets X-ray the stiff,' I see how you are."

She grinned, "Good. Cut."

He shook his head and hovered over the flesh, "I've got three make-shift sutures," he began to ramble as Melinda began to write, "One at the three O'clock position of the areola, the others at the six and nine positions. Sutures are made with a white thread not conducive with the medical field. Sutures are too tight, pulling at the skin of the areola. Tearing of the skin is evident. I'm clipping suture one in the nine O'clock position," he snipped it and exhaled in relief that he was still alive. "Okay, clipping the three O'clock suture."

"Third ones a charm," Melinda smiled teasingly, "Boom," she whispered.

"You think that crap is funny and I hate you for it," he muttered and continued, "I'm clipping the six O'clock posi-" just as the suture was clipped Donovan instantly fumbled, hissed and dropped his cutting utensil. He stumbled backwards into the counter and stared at the flesh in disgust.

"Damnit!" he hissed, discovering that, some time within being startled and dropping the cutting utensil, he'd cut him self.

Melinda turned from the mound of flesh and promptly vomited.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I can't believe Elliot is allowing you to keep his hair like this… it's so cute," Casey smiled as Isaac sat happily on her lap, occasionally stealing food from her plate and sloppily shoving it into his grinning mouth.

Olivia laughed, "Uh, the other day El and I took the kids to the market, which I might add, taking four kids to the market is not a good idea. Anyway, Isaac got away from us and collided with this older man who lovingly said, 'oh what a cute little girl'. I though Elliot was gonna blow his stack right there," she laughed even harder.

Casey chuckled, "He's such a guy."

"Yep… speaking of guys… you callin' Paul?"

"Have I overstayed?" Casey asked, letting Isaac slide off of her lap and go to his mother.

"No. Not at all… I was hoping you'd talk to me. You haven't uttered a word about what's happening with you."

"It's called avoidance," Casey smiled shyly and watched as Olivia cleaned Isaac's face with a napkin and let him run off.

"Be nice to Zeus… and leave Tripod alone, he's in his mood today," she warned as he trotted down the hall calling for his horsy that quickly fell in step next to him.

"I should call, Paul."

"Just because you avoid the situation, doesn't mean it goes away, Casey… believe me," Olivia smiled, "Just te-"

"I lied to you," Casey whispered and stared down at her plate.

Olivia's eyes went wide, "I'm sorry?"

Casey swallowed, "I lied to you… well, it wasn't a lie. I suppose, it-"

"Casey, don't try and lay out some legal argument bull with me… what are you trying to tell me?"

Casey swallowed and furrowed her brow, "I, uh… I should call Paul."

Olivia slammed her hand on the table and eyed her friend, "Casey, I'm telling you right now… If you are hiding something from me, you'd better get it out. Now."

"I didn't tell you the day Dallas gave me the file on White."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "When did you get the file?"

Casey exhaled, "A couple of days before," then more quickly, "You have to understand, I needed to weigh this with Paul, I needed to know that Addison would be taken care of, and that Paul and I would get through this, and I needed to research and see if my career was being put on the li-"

"Case," Olivia smiled, stood up and went to her hugging her tightly, "Casey, I would never, in a million years, expect you to make a decision so bold and so risky without taking time to think it through and measure the consequences, especially when it puts your family on the line too,"

Casey sniffled, "You're not mad?"

"Are you kidding?" Olivia pulled her back and looked at her, "If you wouldn't have told me that White was out… suppose I ran into him one day or something, I would have lost my mind, thank you, Casey… thank you for protecting my guys and Hannah, I can't thank you enough for that."

"I thought you were gonna be pissed."

Olivia smiled, "I would have been pissed if you hadn't of told me… or if you waited for months because you were trying to protect me. I think you did the right thing putting your family first… thank you for not making me more important than your son or your husband."

Casey exhaled in relief, "Well, that's a load off."

"Is that why you were running? Please tell me that's not why."

"It's not," she whispered, "I just… feel, like I've let Paul and Addison down."

"Honey," Olivia touched her forearm softly, "Paul is so proud of you, I'm sure. And as far as Addison, you've set a great example for him, by standing up for the right thin-"

"My son doesn't like me… did you know that? Addison doesn't even like when I hold him."

"Oh, Casey… you have to know that's not true… I've seen you with that little guy and he adores you, he's young Casey, kids are strange that way."

"No… I'm pretty sure my little boy hates me," she laughed bitterly.

"Casey… for a while I thought Isaac didn't care for me, he didn't call me 'mom', and sometimes he spent more time with Elliot, and I can't tell you how insanely jealous that made me."

"He walks to Paul, cries if we try and get him to walk to me."

"You've been under stress… kids pick up on that, just look at Sam; you see what happens if I'm off kilter, it throws him for a loop."

Casey swallowed hard and wiped quickly at a tear, "This whole mess… it hurts so bad."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We tried it," Olivia blurted softly as she nervously flicked her fingernails.

Vivian exhaled, "Well… if that's not chasing rabbits," she smirked. "What happened?"

Olivia took in a breath and shook her head, "I, uh… managed to ruin it, actually."

"How so?"

"How so?" Olivia narrowed her eyes and stood shaking her head, "How do you think?"

Vivian smiled softly, "Olivia, why don't you take a seat and explain to me what you guys tried and what happened?"

Olivia groaned and scrubbed her hands over her face, "I don't even want to be here right now."

"The door isn't locked."

"I know," She whispered and slowly sat, "But… I owe this to Elliot, I told him I'd be here, so… I'm here."

"You don't want to be though?"

"I'm committed to this."

"For who? Elliot or you?"

"Him, no, I think me… both of us, I think."

"You think?"

"I'm here for Elliot and I."

"But mostly for?"

Olivia exhaled, "Me?"

"You askin' or tellin'"

"Is it wrong if I'm here solely for me?" Olivia asked with a tilt of her head.

Vivian smiled, "No… if fact, it concerns me that you're not here solely for you… I believe that you want to be here, but you feel selfish. I believe that you want to make love to you're husband freely, but for some reason you're concerned that it's selfish to ask him to be patient and understanding,"

Olivia smirked, "You almost make me believe in mind readers."

"So… I'm right?"

She exhaled and nodded, "Yeah."

"What happened?"

Olivia furrowed her brows, "Um… we'll, he was really good at just letting me lay over him, he touched me, held my hips, moved me, and we were fine."

"But?"

Olivia exhaled and groaned, thumbed her eye brow, "We switched positions and… I couldn't stop counting-"

"Counting?"

"His… thrusts…I, we got to four and I started to feel… um, I was going to break and I stopped him."

"Why?"

Olivia starred at the floor, "I don't know."

"Yes you do… why did you stop him?"

Olivia stood, and casually made her way to the book shelf, her back to Vivian, a position that made talking a little easier. A position that didn't let others see the shame and humiliation in her face, "I… didn't want to come like that."

"With your clothes on-"

"No," Olivia shook her head, "Just… in that position, I… felt ashamed for even getting close to it."

"Why?"

"I just," she tossed her head back and exhaled, "I… don't know."

"Yes you do."

Olivia returned to the practice of rearranging the books, "I…" she turned abruptly and faced Vivian, "If I climax in that position, then doesn't that mean that… well, what does that mean for Elliot?"

"What does it mean for Elliot?"

"Does it mean… I associate him with that night? With Oliver?"

"Do you think it does?"

"I… had to remind myself that it was him. I didn't like that."

"But… it got you through?"

"It helped," she exhaled and turned back to the books, "But… I just… I still felt… like a whore."

"Olivia, turn around and look at me, please."

"No, I'm perfectly content fixing your messy book shelf."

"I'd really like you to look at me… please."

Olivia turned her body to face her and lowered her gaze, "What?"

"What I hear from you is that you're scared of letting your husband bring you to orgasm in that position simply because you _can_ be brought to orgasm in that position."

Olivia nodded almost slightly and slowly returned to her seat, "Doesn't it make me… somehow terrible?"

Vivian ignored the question, "Olivia, why are you fighting this? Why can't y-"

"I'm not fighting anything!" Olivia suddenly snapped.

"Yes you are… you're afraid that by letting Elliot bring you to climax, that somehow makes you this filthy person, because during your attack you climaxed in the same position. You feel responsible for that, and you won't let it go… so you punish yourself by denying yourself."

"That's not true!" Olivia hissed, "I wouldn't deny him."

"Yet you do."

"No, I don't!" Olivia protested, standing to her feet and circling the chair before returning to the book shelf again, "I don't," she whispered.

Vivian leaned back, "Then you tell me why you counted his thrust, why you stopped him."

"I told you!" Olivia screeched, turning around, "I told you that I didn't want to experience it."

Vivian stood, "But tell me why you wanted him to stop."

Olivia stared at her, "I… I…"

"You what?"

Olivia swallowed, "Um, maybe… you're right."

"About what?" she prodded to gently force her to admit it.

"I'm… not ready to admit it."

"Why don't you… finish a sentence for me, then? Would that be easier?"

Olivia exhaled, "O-okay."

Vivian fed her the line and she slowly responded, "I stopped Elliot from letting me climax, because I thought if I didn't, he would think… I wanted Oliver, and not him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mom! Mom! I got news!" Sam yelled as he tornadoed through the house, dropping his bag in the foyer and stopping the hallway to wait for her voice, "Mom?"

"Sink, baby," she grinned as he bolted to her and threw his arms around her, "Hey… you're a happy guy, what's the news?"

Elliot grinned watching their son and his wife, as she dried her hands on a towel and returned the youngsters embrace. She caught Elliot's gaze and looked away in shame, quickly kneeling in front of their son, "What's the news?"

"I got into the smart people's class."

She furrowed her brow, "The smart people's class?"

"Yeah, the geeks!" he smiled leaning his waist into her, "I get to go to the next grade for my English time 'cause it was too easy for me!"

Olivia grinned and framed his face, resting her forehead against his, "That's so amazing… I'm proud of you, little man."

"Dad took me to ice cream on our way home from the center!" he giggled, "Where's Isaac? I want to tell him!"

She laughed, kissed his cheek, "He's on a time out. Probably pouting on his bed right now, but… since the news is so special, I'm sure you can go talk to him.'

Sam grinned, kissed his mother quick and hard on the cheek and ran to his room, "Hey!" Olivia called after him, "Am I your mother or your maid?"

He furrowed his brow, "You're my mom."

"Exactly. Take your book bag to your room," she smiled, "hurry, your brother is probably anxious to get off lock down."

He ran off and she twisted and stood, avoiding Elliot's curious gaze as she returned to the dishes. She felt him behind her in an instant, "Hey," he whispered, pulling her hair back and kissing her neck gently.

She reached back, cupped his face, confused with shame and complete want for him, "Hey… how was work?"

He smiled against her, rubbed her shoulders gently and slowly traced his hands along her sides, over her waist and stopping to rest them on her hips. He felt that imperceptible flinch, but kept his hands over her, "It's just me."

"I know," she whispered and took in a breath before turning around and taking him in for a sudden kiss. She held his face, pressed her lips into his, trying to muster up the courage to ask him to help her again, to help her be more of the woman she wants to be but can't figure out how to be.

He tore away, gasped through a smile, "What was that?"

"I need you to help me," she blurted through a pant before she lost her nerve.

"With what?" he smiled and kissed her cheek softly.

"I want to… try again… tonight."

He smirked, "I take it Vivian was successful today?"

Olivia exhaled, "I… she made me see things for what they were."

He grinned, kneaded her hips and slowly moved his hands to caress her bottom as he kissed her tenderly, "I'll do whatever you need, whatever you want."

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Hours later, he looked at her closely, "You're sure you want to try again… so soon?" He asked as she slipped into her pajama pants.

She licked her lips and nodded, "Yeah… yeah, I do."

"Okay… do you want me to wear my pants or boxers or something else?"

"I… I want you… to be comfortable."

He tilted his head and smiled compassionately at her, "What's wrong, Liv?"

"N-nothing, just…nervous, this… isn't what I had in mind when we talked about experimenting with new things last year," she barely managed a chuckle.

"We don't have to," he assured her with a gentle kiss, a soft caress of the arm, "I love you and I don't want you to do this if you're not ready."

"I'm ready," she whispered, "Just… scared."

He took her hand, smiled, "Come here, I want you to try something."

"What?" she asked wrapping her arms around his neck as he laid her gently to the mattress.

"Is it okay that I'm in my boxers?"

"Are you comfortable?" she asked, kissing the corner of his mouth.

He nodded softly, "I am."

"Then its okay," she assured him.

He kissed her mouth gently, supported his weight on his hand, "Put you're hands on my hips."

She furrowed her brow, "What? That's silly."

"Liv… just… I want you to know, that there's nothing to be afraid of, and if it means me having to be silly and having to act like a woman in bed… I'll do it," he told her and lowered his lips to her ear, "Just don't you dare tell anyone," he laughed, and was relieved to hear her laugh, even though it was gentle, he was happy he heard it. "Put your hands on my hips… just like I would if you were me right now… it's okay."

Timidly, she placed her hands on his hips. It seemed odd to her, to have her hands on her husband's hips as he straddled her just as she would have done him. He looked down at her, smiled, "See… it's just you and me, Liv."

She nodded and more confidently held his hips.

"Move me."

"What?"

"Move me," he encouraged, "just like I would you."

"El-"

"Trust me?"

She pulled his hips slowly into hers and in that moment she was never more thankful to him for making himself this vulnerable to her. To make himself, even silly, just for her to feel safe, it was the most amazing act of love he could have given her.

Gently, he ran his hand under her shoulder and pulled her over him, guiding her to kneel between his legs. He took her hands, placed them firmly on his hips, "It's what I'd do to you… and it's safe, Liv… it's just you and me, do it… I want you to know that there's nothing to be scared of… I'm not scared of your touch, and you don't have to be of mine."

She did what he asked and ironically, the motion of pulling her lover up into her, of being in control and understanding that it can be gentle was, in itself freeing. She was being gentle to him as his semi-soft erection grazed her center. She was being gentle and she was bringing him pleasure. He could be gentle, and bring her pleasure, but… would that pleasure come with shame? She didn't know.

He groaned as his boxers tented, she stretched her body over his and rolled to bring him over her. She hooked her hand at the base of his neck and locked her eyes with his, "I don't know how this is gonna turn out," she whispered, "I don't want you to be upset with me."

Slowly, he lowered his lips to hers, "I'll take a thousand bad tries until we get that one good one. Tell me what to do."

She rose up, told him her request in his ear for the sole purpose of not having to look at his compassionate eyes while she spilled her need. He pulled back, "Are you sure? Maybe we should keep it at this level first, huh?"

"I want you to try and make me come," she assured him and gently slipped her hand into his boxers, cupping him, "I'm pretty sure you can."

He chuckled, "You've no idea how much I want to… but, are you ready for that?"

She nodded and gently pushed him up so he kneeled between her legs. He ran his hand up from her knee to her hips, caught her gaze and held it as he slipped his hand under her and held her waist. He thrust gently against her, bringing her hips up into him. She closed her eyes feeling that normally scary sensation of the small of her back leaving the safety of their mattress.

_One. No! Don't count. It's you're husband. You're his wife. He loves you, he wants what's best._

She locked her ankles around him, vaguely aware that this was exactly how they tried it last time and it ended in disaster.

_Two. Stop counting_!

Not sure where to put her hands, lightly, she placed them on his wrists as he brought her hips back up into him. She couldn't fathom why this position made her body respond so quickly but it did. She breathed in deeply as he pulled her up again and she was thankful, if only for a moment, that she couldn't remember if this was the third or fourth thrust, which meant she wouldn't know when the fifth one was coming, which was liberating.

"Stop thinking, baby… just let it go," he encouraged her and smiled when she tightened her legs around him and smirked.

_You're smirking at me? You're scared to death, and you're still smiling in my arms. You have no idea what that does to me. _

He watched as her head arched back with another thrust, her breathing increased, and suddenly her grip around his wrist tightened and she looked at him. He startled and tried to move away. She locked her legs tighter and held his hands firmly over her hips, "I want you… to take your boxers off, if you're comfortable with that."

He arched his brows in surprise, "Really?"

She freed him from the strength of her legs and raised her hips pushing her flannels down, leaving her panties as the only barrier, "I'm sure."

He stood, dropped his boxers and immediately returned to her before she could second guess herself. She wrapped the silk of her bare legs around his waist and he couldn't hold the groan in, "Liv… this might be too much for me."

"I promise… to help you," she whispered, "even if things don't turn out the way we hope, I won't leave you in want, I promise."

He brought her body back up against his and moaned, resting his face on her belly, she was aroused, her warmth making its self known through the fabric of her panties, sliding against his shaft and spurring him on to bring her body even closer to his. He couldn't tell her that these practice sessions were entirely erotic for him, that it was entirely arousing to be with his wife like two teenagers sneaking around, trying to fulfill each others desires without stepping over the line.

_What number? I have to know what number. I'm going to come and I'm scared. I need to know that number… No you don't! If you know, you'll stop him… stop counting! Go with it. He's your husband. _

He sensed the sudden change in her body, as if her mind had suddenly left the moment. He looked down at her, "Liv… stay with me, it's just me." He stopped moving until she re-established eye contact and he pulled her up into him again. She moaned tightening her hands over his wrist, "Do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head, "No, no… keep going."

He smiled and nodded, pulled her back into him and ground his hips into hers, taking her moisture onto his body and forcing himself to control his body when she whimpered and called his name softly into the atmosphere, a shot of desire spiked with a pint of fear. She was close.

He freed his wrist from her grasp and put both hands under her body grinding against her once, twice, three times until her back arched, she stifled her moan and breathed out through her orgasm. He felt her body pulsate through her panties and smiled as she balled the sheet into her fist, arched up onto one shoulder and groaned through another wave of pleasure as it caressed her body and momentarily debilitated her senses.

Maybe it was thirty seconds maybe it was three, but it felt like hours of sheer happiness had passed as he watched her eyes stay tightly shut, her brows furrowed and arched as she tried to control her breathing and gently lower her body back to the mattress. She opened her eyes and saw a single tear stream his face.

She flexed her abdomen to pull her body up, her hand wrapped around his shoulders and her lips gently kissed away his tear, "Don't cry," she whispered keeping her legs tight in an effort to keep her weight even as he held her. She felt his large hands splayed across her back under the warmth of her shirt. She kissed the corner of his mouth, "Don't cry. I got through it. We got through it."

He sniffled, kissed her neck tenderly, "You were so beautiful."

She kissed a freshly fallen tear as he closed his eyes. She gently grazed both of his eye lids and his mouth with her lips as she tightened her hold on his shoulder and reached between them stroking him gently, she kissed him again. Slightly, he rocked them backward and then forward matching the strokes of her hand until the strokes of her tongue confused him and he stilled.

She broke away from his lips and her hand brought him greater pleasure. She pressed her forehead against his and locked her eyes with his, felt his hands unbuttoning the bottom buttons of her flannel shirt. He pressed her bottom closer to him and she brought his erection flush against her abdomen.

He groaned feeling her palm stroke him against her own body and in an instant, he was coming, staring straight into his wife's eyes as she kept her body wrapped around him. She smiled against his lips as he dug his fingers into her waist and groaned as she rubbed his release over them both and gently caressed him again, "Don't cry," she whispered again, "you were beautiful."

He grinned and brought them both to their sides, "You made it, Liv."

She blushed, tangled her feet with his and rested her face in his neck, "Thank you."

"For what? That was all you."

"No… it was you, and I can't thank you enough." She kissed him softly again, "I still have a lot more to do, but… you have no idea the confidence you just gave me."

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"What the hell do you mean you've got no leads?" Cragen barked.

Fin smacked his lips, "There's nothing, Cap-"

Cragen turned sharply to Fin, "How can you say there's nothing? We have not one, but two unsolved murders!"

"Sir, there's nothing we can do until Warner get's us the medical report, she's running test on everything she can think of… it's gonna be the first week in Feb at the earli-"

Cragen slammed a file on Fin's desk, "You've got to be kiddin' me! What about the knife? Do we have a match? Are the crimes related?"

"I don't think so, Sir," Fin shook his head, "I think we've got two different killers."

"Why? Someone start explaining' something. How many man hours have we wasted just sitting' here?"

"Sir, the victims… there aren't any similarities, there's nothing to connect them."

Cragen exhaled, placed his hands on his hips, "When the hell is Benson due back?"

Mac exhaled, "You think we can't handle this?"

"Oh, save the cockiness," Cragen snapped, "I'm down two of my top detectives and I can't get Benson's partner in here until she's here to train the damn kid!" He growled in frustration, "Too many damn murders and not enough detectives!"

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"We could name the baby Alex," Robert smiled, "That way it doesn't matter if the baby is a boy or a girl."

"No," she laughed, "the last thing I want is a baby with my name, especially my baby… that's too weird."

He grinned and kissed her mouth, "You ate my toast… now I have to go to work hungry."

"I'm eating for two… no food shall ever be safe in this house again."

"What are you trying to say?" he chuckled caressing her belly.

"I'm just saying, if you got food you want… you'd better keep it under lock and key, or it's free game."

He pulled her quickly into his body and kissed her, "Are you free game?"

She grinned and looked away at the clock on the microwave, "We have to leave for work in thirty minutes."

"So then, I have roughly…. twenty minutes to make you come?"

She looked back at the clock, "Eighteen?"

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"Want to go out on a date?" Elliot asked as his wife tied his tie.

"A date?" she grinned as Isaac and Sam giggled at one another from the table, "We're an old married couple."

"So," he shrugged, "we can still date each other… well bring our matching colostomy bags along."

She gave an extra tug on the tie's knot, "You're gross."

"I'm sexy," he corrected, kissing her softly on the mouth.

She kissed him, smiled, and kissed him again as she mumbled, "You're also running late."

"Sam's going to the doctor today?" he asked, gathering his keys and phone.

"Yep," she confirmed as soon as they were out of sight of their boys and pulled him back to her by his tie, "where are you taking me?" she asked and nipped playfully on his bottom lip.

He pulled her in and kissed her full on the lips, rubbing softly into her body, "It's a surprise… but dress nice. Wear that black dress I like?"

She grinned, "Black dress, huh? That means you're gonna try and get me to sleep with you… I have a husband you know?" she teased.

He chuckled, "Believe me; I know… everyday I have to hear from him how hot you are."

She laughed kissed him again, "Okay, call me later, I love you."

"Love you," he winked and purposely grazed the curve of her breast with his hand before leaving.

As soon as she shut the door Solomon demanded her undivided attention, "Sam, can you make sure Isaac puts clothes on while I feed Solo?"

"Kay… we're almost done eating."

She walked quickly, unwilling to have two unfed infants awake at the same time. Gently, she picked him up and soothed him with her voice, he'd almost calmed until the doorbell rang and he quickly startled and screamed, "Sam," she called down the hall, "baby get the door, your father probably forgot something."

It was the sudden, yet lengthy and insistent yapping from Tripod and the instant furious barking from Zeus, both of which had been put outside for their morning pee, that made the hair on the back of Olivia's neck stand on end, "Sam?" she called down the hall still trying to sooth the crying infant. When there was no response, not even the constant clanging of Isaac's spoon against his high chair, she walked slowly down the hall, past the foyer to see an empty kitchen table, the front door still ajar and no sign of her boys, "Sam?" she called louder and was about to make her way to the boys' room when she felt the intense burning in her scalp as someone grabbed a fist full of her hair and pulled her back into a semi soft body. She winced in pain, called out before she could stop herself and held tighter to Solomon fearing she may drop him.

"Hello Bitch."

She groaned as he tightened his fist in her hair, "My husband is in the other room," she bluffed.

"No… you're husband is sitting in a pretty little mustang about a quarter mile down the road with a bullet in his head,"

She instantly squirmed to get free but stilled immediately when the man reached over her shoulder and dug the barrel of a handgun into Solomon's belly, "You try to get away from me, and there's gonna be little baby guts all over this nice house of your's… then we'll have to go get the other one… maybe decorate the house in baby brain matter? How's that sound, huh? Too artsy for you? Maybe too much on the realist spectrum?"

"What do you want?" she asked trying, imperceptibly to inch the gun away from her crying son.

"Mmmm," he grinned against her cheek, "Maybe you're more into the romantic period?" he suggested and finally let go of her hair only to reach over her shoulder and painfully grab her breast, kneading it harshly until she hissed and yelped in pain, "Mmmm, I knew that's what you wanted."

Where were Sam and Isaac? If she asked and this man hadn't seen them, or at least hadn't seen Isaac than she might reveal too much and put her boy's life in danger, but she didn't hear them, couldn't hear them over the constant barking of the two dogs that she whished she would have let back in immediately after they'd gone pee. But, Isaac wasn't here either… would Sam have had enough time or thought to hide him? No, that was impossible since he'd answered the door. She took a deep breath and knew this man had her boys and as her little girl started to scream from the nursery she knew it was a matter of time before he had her too, "My husband keeps a safe in the office it-"

"I'm not going to rob you Olivia."

_How do you know my name?_

"What do you want?"

"I killed you're husband… I wanted to do that in front of you… make you watch. Sort of a dinner _and a_ show type of thing, but, ehh, traffic was bad on the way out here."

She was loosing her breath, felt his hand grip the front of her throat too tight, "That's a shame."

"Mmmm," he lowered his hand, kept his weapon on Solomon, "I took a picture for you. I just really love how clear the phones are taking pictures these days," he kissed her neck and placed the phone in front of her and when she turned her head instantly away and gasped for air he laughed, "I'm sorry… that's the little boy that answered the door. I slit his throat, so fast though that he didn't get a word in-" she squirmed to run, he pulled her by her hair, moved from behind her and let her slam into the wall, the baby squalling as he raised the gun and meshed it into her forehead, "LOOK AT THE PICTURES!" he yelled, "Or it's baby guts."

She swallowed hard looked up into the phone to see her oldest boy lying on the cold porch. His blood seeping in freshly scattered snow. She began to sob and he pushed the button and raised the phone to her again. She turned away and he angrily grabbed hold of Solomon and held him by his clothing as if he were luggage, "Look at it!" he growled, "Or I'll slam this brat across the room!"

She couldn't think straight, Tripod was still yapping, Zeus was violently throwing himself into the sliding glass door in an effort to get it, Hannah was yelling from the room and Solomon was shrieking as his body dangled in the air. She looked back at the phone and vomited instantly.

"Mmm, it was pretty gruesome… the second little boy I mean. Tell me, how does it feel to have lost your son then get him back… only to have some freak murder him, while you were only feet away?"

She slumped to her knees, "Give me my son, please!" she begged reaching for Solomon, only to be kicked in the chest, sending her back into the wall gasping for air.

"He smiled at me, when I walked up to him. That long curly hair, it was almost a pleasure to cut his little neck," the man smiled, "I have to tell you though, Olivia,"

_How do you know my name?_

"I didn't know that his head would just lop off like that… it's a pretty good knife I suppose. He just sort of slipped right out of the highchair. You know? You really should have strapped him in."

He kneeled in front of her, placing Solomon on his belly on the hard floor unconcerned with the infant laying face down and crying frantically for his mother, "One last picture, huh?" he grinned and roughly grabbed the back of her head forcing her to look at the picture. When she saw Elliot still seat belted in the mustang, his head hanging down, the large exit wound at the back of his head. Everything went black.


	43. Chapter 43 Cushions and Lookits

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 43 Cushions and Lookits

A/N: If there are still readers left – I heard a lot of people died of heart attacks on the last chapter- here ya go. And one scenario was offered in a review, and had I thought about that before I started this chapter, I would have totally written it that way… that was an amazing idea and I'm jealous and teary-eyed that I didn't think of it first!

She'd been smiling when he first saw her, when the sun first started to break. Then, suddenly, an extreme shift in her features caused him to worry. The instant cold sweat, a deep furrow of her brow and thrashing of her head. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight to him, "Wake up, Liv," he whispered softly, not wanting to scare her more than she seemed to be, "wake up," he told her again, more firmly, giving her a tighter squeeze so she couldn't bolt up like she normally would after something like this.

She woke with an intense gasp for oxygen. Struggled for her freedom before taking in his scent, the contours of her husband's muscles. His beating heart. Beating. Alive. Strong. Alive. He could feel her eye lashes blinking rapidly against his skin as she held painfully tight to him. Panting for breath, "Elliot," she sobbed into his chest and then quickly pulled away, framing his face and kissing him frantically, "Elliot. Elliot. Elliot."

"Just a dream," he assured her, pulling her forehead to rest against his, "Just a dream."

She sniffled shook her head in disagreement, "So real."

"Just a dream, I'm right here. You've been here all night."

She suddenly pulled away and quickly got out of the bed, "The kids! Isaac-he-the high chair. Sam-where's Sam? He was cold. So much blood, and Sol-"

"Liv," He pulled her back and held her over his lap, rocking her softly, "They're asleep baby…. What happened? Tell me, talk to me," he urged. "Calm down, take a breath, we're all here," he kissed her temple softly, "You're shaking baby… I'm right here?"

She sobbed again, uncontrollably into his chest as he continued to rock her, "It's okay, Olivia… tell me, talk, Liv."

She sniffled, slipped her hand under his shirt and splayed her hand over one side of his chest while she kissed the other through his shirt. He was warm. Alive. His heart was beating. Alive. She kissed his chest once more, quickly moving her way to his clavicle and adorning his body with frantic kisses. His neck, the underside of his jaw, his chin and lips. Frantic. Desperate. Hard. Intense. Terrified.

"Liv-"

"Make love to me," she panted and moved her body so she was straddling his thighs.

"Liv-"

"Please… let me feel you. Love me. Take me. Make me forget it all," she begged kissing him again and pulling his shirt up.

He softly pulled it down and caressed her face, "Tell me, Olivia… tell me what happened, baby."

She exhaled. Tightened her lips to hold in her tears before she wrapped her arms around his neck, buried her face there and cried.

"Tell me."

"No-please don't-I don't even want to say it."

"Did something happen to the kids?"

"Dead," she sobbed against him again, "it was so bad, El… he just killed them, and Isaac was," she cried harder, "Sam, he-outside and Zeus, and… you… he'd killed you."

He tightened his embrace on her, rubbed her back soothingly, "I'm talking to you right now, and I checked on the kids when I fed Hannah this morning… they're all here and all doing just fine. They're sleeping," he assured her and held her for several minutes until her breathing returned to normal and the intense sobbing ceased. Her fingernails relaxed from the constant gripping of his skin.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, sniffled, "I love you so much. Please… don't you dare ever leave me. Don't you dare die on me or get killed. Do you hear me? Don't you dare do it."

He chuckled, "Not going anywhere…. I've got like, what? Thirty to fifty years left to torture you and make you wonder why on earth you agreed to marry me."

She chuckled through her tears, swatted his chest playfully and nuzzled closer before exhaling and sniffling again, "It was so real, El."

"But, it wasn't… because we're all still here. I'm holding you. I love you," he whispered and kissed her head gently, "I love you so much… do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she nodded, "it's too much."

"Okay," he smiled in compassion and kissed her again, "hey, you know what? Why don't you jump in the shower, and let me handle breakfast this morning, huh? You haven't had a nice hot shower to your self for a long time. I'll take care of the kids for you."

She exhaled, kissed his neck softly, "Thank you."

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She couldn't stop the shaking in her hands as she struggled to wrap the towel around her body, "Let me help?" Elliot spoke softly from the door way, a stack of fresh clothes in his hand. She hung her head in defeat and he walked to her and embraced her tightly. "Just a dream, baby, that's all it was,"

"It came from no where," she sniffled.

He exhaled, tucked tendrils of her hair behind both ears, "Olivia, it's just your mind trying to erase what you got through last night. You were scared last night and nervous but you got through it and it was great and now were gonna get to the next part. Your mind is just jumbled right now, you're alive, I'm alive, and we've got four little kids sleeping in our bed, all very much alive."

She pulled back and looked at him with glassy eyes, "The kids are in our bed?"

He smiled, wiped her fallen tear with his thumb, "Yeah… I still have two hours before work, which means Sam has another hour of sleep and Isaac, well… he's Isaac. The babies will wake up when they get hungry, but… I had a pretty good feeling you wanted to be around them this morning."

She exhaled, held the towel to her body, wrapped her arm around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder, "I never… felt as scared as I did in that dream."

He took the ends of the towels, pulled them around her body and gently padded her back removing the water from her skin, "You don't have to be afraid, we're all here," he whispered and took a small step backwards. He removed the towel and started to dry her shoulders gently, before lowering the towel to her breast. She inhaled a nervous breath griped his biceps to ward him off just as soon as his hand came too close to the same breast the man had ruthlessly handled in the dream.

He noticed it instantly and let his hand hover over her before softly making contact and gently, slowly, lowering his mouth to her flesh, kissing her tenderly as if somehow knowing there was some type of wound there from the dream. He pulled back only an inch or two and tenderly kissed her again before kneeling and drying her body gently with the towel and helping her into her fresh clothes, "Go… lay down with the kids an-"

"I want you next to me… please?" she whispered.

He smiled, "Absolutely, but I have to return Cragen's call-he called while you were in the shower."

"Cragen? Why?" 

Elliot grinned.

"Why are you grinning like that?" she asked, lowering her head and wanting nothing more than for him to take her back into his arms and never let her go. Never.

"Well… I have good news for you."

"Really? 'Cause I could use it."

"They want you to fill my spot in SVU."

Olivia blinked, "How is that good news? Wasn't that what was gonna happen in the first place?"

Elliot chuckled, "Liv, you don't understand… Cragen wants you to take your Grade One Detectives Test, so you can fill my spot. You're gonna fill my grade one _billet_ and train your own partner when he finally shows himself."

"I can't train my partner without being grade one?" she asked in confusion. "Since when? And… my partner is a guy? Are you sure? How do you know?"

He chuckled, "Liv, Cragen told me on the phone that your new partner was a guy… all I ask is that you don't go fallin' in love with him like you did me."

She smiled softly, "When I fell in love with you, I never landed… still falling-every day."

"So… you're filling my billet?"

"You didn't answer my question… why does he need me to go grade one? Maybe I don't want to."

He exhaled, "If you're not grade one… they're gonna team you with someone else, Liv. Which means this guy is gonna get teamed with Mac or Fin and you're probably gonna get some old fart ready to retire and you're gonna really hate that, I know it. Why aren't you happy?"

"Because that's a really difficult test, Elliot," she groaned, "when do I have to pass it?"

He nervously looked away, "In three days-"

Her eyes widened, "I'm a detective Elliot, not a genie."

"You can do it… if I can make lieutenant, you can pass this test."

She shrugged, "I don't want to."

He furrowed his brow, "What? Why?"

"'Cause, what if I _don't_ pass?"

"Liv. You took you're grade two cold and you nailed it. I saw your entry level scores from the academy and your first detectives exam when they assigned you to me… I don't think your gonna have a problem, genius. Besides, if you do then you keep trying."

She narrowed her eyes, "Why are you so adamant about this?"

He exhaled pulled her close to him and rested his forehead against hers, "Liv… don't you want to be home with the kids more?"

"Absolutely, but… grade one doesn't let you do that, that's why you took your- oh," she pulled her face away to look at him and raised her brow as realization set in, "You, want me to make grade one, so I can work on my bars and become a lieutenant?"

He nodded, "Yeah… we would be home with the kids and have more time with each other. I wouldn't worry about you getting shot if you're working behind a desk and you wouldn't worry about me getting shot in my office," he smiled pathetically. "Would you at least think about it?"

She exhaled, shaking her head in doubt, "SVU… it's who I am, El. It's literally in my blood."

"I know… look, you have to put in at least two years as a grade one anyway right?"

"Yeah."

"So… maybe you'll make grade one, and spend a few years thinking about being a lieutenant?"

She smirked, "I can't believe, _you of all people_, are encouraging me to become an officer."

He smiled, pulled her close, "Only because, I want to be with our kids… I want you to get to be with them, and I want to always be with you… as much as possible."

She cupped his face, kissed his cheek, the corner of his mouth, his lips, "I'll test in three days… but, I'm taking my time on the lieutenant… I'm not sure about that."

He grinned, kissed her back, "Works for me." He kissed the corner of her mouth again, let his lips linger as he felt her hands run the length of his torso, over his arms and around his neck. She hid her face there for several minutes.

"El?" she whispered, suddenly as sad as she was when she woke from her dream.

"Yeah?"

"Come lay with me and the kids? I want you all next to me."

He smiled and led her back to the bed, he went to slide in on his side and she stopped him, "No, please? Will you be next to me? I just want you next to me, right now. I need that."

He nodded and let her slip in as he followed behind her. He watched with a grin as Isaac rolled his naked and sleeping body over and snuggled instantly to his mother's legs, as she brought Solomon close to her, kissed his head and gently stroked his hair. She pulled Hannah close up to her brother so she could touch them both with one hand and reach for Sam with the other.

Swimming in a bed with innocence and love, her heart settled, her fears drifted, "El?"

"Yeah?" he whispered and kissed her shoulder softly.

"Maybe… SVU isn't what I'm about anymore."

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Olivia groaned flipping through the detectives exam for what seemed to be the four millionth hour, "This is ridiculous," she muttered slamming the book shut and slouching in her seat. The bagel that had been her snack, consumed, leaving an empty plate behind.

"Mom?"

She exhaled and sat up, "Yeah, Sam?"

"What's wrong?"

"I got killer homework."

"Homework?" he tilted his head and smirked, "You're too old for homework."

She chuckled, "I've got a monster test coming up, I've got to take it so I can go back to work, and be better… it's a really, super hard test."

"Want me to help you?" He asked pulling a chair next to her and sitting, "I can't read anything to you like you can to me, but I can help you by sitting next to you."

She grinned, "Where's your dad?"

"Sleeping with Isaac. Isaac was extra grumpy and cried until dad put him in bed with him for a nap."

"I see, well why don-" she looked at the door as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it-"

"No!" she snapped pulling him back to her. She felt him startle and tense immediately at her roughness and she instantly regretted overreacting.

"Mom… that hurts me, please let go," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," she said letting go immediately and caressing his cheek, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

He smiled and hugged her, "It's okay, Mom… can I answer the door?"

"Yeah baby, you can," she told him, kissed him softly and watched him turn to do the task. She stood and removed her snack plate, rinsing off the crumbs of the bagel and hearing the bedroom door shut. Elliot was awake. She smiled and then suddenly cringed hearing George Huang's voice from the front door.

Followed by Sam's instant call and command for Zeus' protection.

She dropped the plate, letting it shatter on the linoleum as Zeus sprinted through the house to the sound of the little boy and quickly got between him and George, snarling, growling and barking as saliva built on his mouth flying with each opening and snapping of his jaws. Olivia ran, just as Elliot started down the hall. She was just in time to see George stepping backwards, frantic and in disbelief of what was happening.

"Sam!" Olivia yelled and reached for him only to have Zeus turn, splitting his focus on her and George in an effort to protect the one that ordered him to.

"Call him off!" George yelled, too afraid to leave his position.

Elliot quickly called the dog into submission as Olivia wrapped her arms around Sam. He'd wet his pants, "It's okay."

"No!" he screeched into her neck, "No! How does Daddy Wilson know our house!" he cried.

"He's George… not Mr. Wilson," she whispered, "Honey… you remember? We talked about it, it's George at the door, not your Daddy Wilson."

"NO!" he screamed louder, "No! He'll hurt me! He'll hurt my penis!"

"No, he won't," she told him firmly, "He won't. I promise."

"No!" he screamed again and sobbed, holding onto his mother, "make him go away, mommy, please make him leave."

She held him tight, motioned for George to come and kneel next to them. George looked at them, then at Zeus and slowly did as she requested.

Sam sensed his close presence immediately and tried to break free, pushing and slapping at Olivia's chest until Elliot kneeled behind him and grabbed his wrist, "Sam, it's okay."

"No! No! No! No! No! NOOOO!" he screeched.

"Touch his face Sam," Olivia said quickly and forced his hands, with Elliot's help to George's face as he sat perfectly still.

"No! Please, mommy! I love you!"

"It's okay!" she told him firmly and forced his hands to frame George's face.

Sam sobbed at the contact and curled his fingers in an effort to erase all tactile feeling, "Please, daddy… make mom, stop!"

Elliot splayed his hand on Sam's belly, his free one on his back and rubbed him softly, "Touch him, Sam… he's not your daddy Wilson, he's George, a good friend," Elliot assured him as Olivia forced his fingers straight again.

"Touch him, Sam," she encouraged, "touch him."

Sam sniffled, hiccupped and slowly, almost imperceptibly began to move his fingertips over George's face, his eyes brows, nose, cheek bones and lips.

"It's George," Olivia whispered, "Not your daddy Wilson."

A small smirk graced Sam's lips, "You're very different from my mom and dad."

George smiled under the warmth of small hands, "I am," he agreed, "and that's because I'm Asian."

"Asian," Sam repeated and slowly lowered his hands, "I don't know what that means but I don't think daddy Wilson was Asian, his face wasn't like yours."

"I'm just George," Huang said softly, "I came to see how your mom was doing since she's going back to work… I'm just George."

Sam exhaled and leaned into his mother, hiding his face in her neck, "He's not my daddy Wilson," he whispered, wrapping his hands around her neck and squeezing, "He's just George."

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"So," Elliot smirked sitting down at the dinner table, "I thought Zeus was gonna kill George."

"So did I," She exhaled and removed her glasses, placing them on her study material "He asleep?"

"Washed up and put to bed," he smiled, handing her a hungry Solomon.

She grinned accepting her son who was vigorously protesting the fact that his feeding time had been postponed by a whopping ten minutes. How dare they postpone such a sacred time.

"Will you relax?" Olivia grinned and adjusted her clothing to accommodate her son, "You act like you haven't been fed in a month."

He latched on immediately and happily rubbed and kicked his feet into her body in an effort to get closer as Elliot sat next to them both and watched his son fill his belly, "That's all the babies do," he smiled, "Eat, sleep, pee, poop and cry."

Olivia laughed softly and peered down at her son who kept his gaze locked and focused on his mother, "I'd love to say he's so tiny, but… he's huge for his age."

Elliot took a his son's foot in his hand and rubbed it with warm hands, "He's gonna be built like his ol' man and good looking, I just hope…"

"Hope what?" she smiled in curiosity.

"He has hair when he's my age," Elliot smirked and rubbed his receding hairline, "I could kill my mother for this."

"I like it," she shrugged.

He arched his brow, "You like the fact that I'm going bald?"

She laughed, stroking Solomon's back, "I like you in short hair, long hair, faded hair, no hair, spiked hair or pink hair… add a goatee and I'll do just about anything you want."

His jaw went slack at her confession, "Really?"

She turned her attention from Solomon and winked at Elliot, smiling coyly and then wincing in pain and immediately inserting her finger into Solomon's mouth and separating his gums, "No," she said firmly. He startled at her voice and kept his eyes trained on her.

"Oh," Elliot whispered down at his son as he wrapped an arm around his wife, "Solo got busted," he teased.

Solomon's eyes moved to the sound of the voice but quickly moved back to his mother's gaze, "You can't keep nailing me and expecting me to feed you, honey," she teased softly, "you got to be a gentleman with the boobs," she chuckled, "or your dad will never be able to touch me and it'll be all your fault," she added for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of her husband.

Mission accomplished.

"Solo… you better control your self young man, or I'll ground you for all eternity."

Solomon cast his eyes back to his father's voice and slowly retrained them on his mother who smiled down at him. In an instant, the corners of Solomon's mouth curled upwards into his first smile.

Olivia and Elliot both stared down at their son, "Wow," she whispered, "his first smile… look at that, he's… very good looking. He… man, all of our boys have that Stabler smirk," she laughed, "even Sam."

Elliot kissed her cheek as Solomon latched back on and happily took sustenance from his mother's breast. Eat, sleep, pee, poop, shoot'em a smile and let them drool over you. Ah, the life of an infant whose parents are in love with him.

Almost an hour later, Olivia curled up next to Elliot on the couch and exhaled, "What are you reading?"

"Raising Boys," he muttered.

"Any good?"

"Got good suggestions… Isaac is gonna give us a run for our money. You know that don't you? He's a two-foot James Dean. Rebel."

She groaned into his shoulder, "Don't remind me… there's gonna be girls calling the house, wanting to date my little boy. Ughh, they're not gonna be good enough for him. You know that don't you?"

"Of course I know that," he smiled and closed the book, "because no guy is gonna come within a mile of Hannah."

She chuckled and stretched out across the couch, belly down, laying her head to the side in his lap and exhaling deeply, "Sam really freaked out."

He traced the contours of her cheek, "I know," he whispered and gently began to rub the tightened muscles of her back, "Geeze Liv… why didn't you tell me you were stressed out? You're back is so tense."

"No kidding," she yawned, "Hannah didn't wake up."

"Let her sleep… I want to be here with you, Isaac is sleeping with Zeus, and I just want… to touch you and talk to you."

She smiled, kissed his thigh through his pants, "I like being with you, too."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"It's been two days… did you want to talk about that dream?"

"No, not really," she said turning over and readjusting her self so she was still resting in his lap but able to look at him. His hand instantly found her flesh at her waist band and gently stroked it, "but I will," she smiled softly and gently brought his hand further under her shirt to caress her abdomen. She held his gaze and gently rubbed his hand, "I don't know if it scared me more that it was completely out of left field or what but… El," her eyes misted, "seeing our boys like that… hearing Hannah yell-seeing you shot… I wanted to die."

He bent low, kissed her forehead, "We're all right here with you."

She arched her neck back, met his lips with hers and kissed him, caressing his head to deepen the kiss. His hand about her waist, her tongue gliding over his teeth. Their moans of appreciation. Their smiles upon separation, "I love you," she whispered to him.

"And I love you, which is why I'll never leave you. Dead or otherwise," he chuckled.

She arched her brow, "Are you telling me you'd haunt me?"

"Yup," he grinned, "for the rest of your life."

She smiled, "Good, but uh… if your gonna haunt me, you'd better figure out how to make love to me, 'cause I couldn't handle just being able to see you."

He chuckled and relaxed into the couch looking up at the ceiling as he continued to stroke her abdomen, "Think Casey and Paul are okay?"

She exhaled, "Honestly, I don't know… Casey, beats herself up. I've made it a point to call her as much as possible, sometimes she answers the phone, sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes she returns the calls, but… most of the time she doesn't."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be… we've got a good friendship, it's strong. She needs time to comprehend everything. I just want her to know that we're there when she needs us."

"She say anything about her disciplinary hearing?"

Olivia groaned, "Six months… can you believe that crap? I mean, I know lawyers are into postponing and all of that, but come on… you're messing with someone's career and future, at least be expeditious about it."

He exhaled, "So that explains the paper this morning?"

She furrowed her brow and looked at him, "I didn't read it… what did it say?"

"Just, had a big picture of Casey and a caption that talked about her being forced to drop out of the race for DA this election year… I couldn't bring myself to read it. They're being really ruthless to her."

She nodded softly, "Do you remember when the papers were accusing us of hurting Isaac? That was so miserable, everywhere I went I felt like people were staring at me and getting ready to lynch me."

"You and Casey are so strong… you got through it and she'll get through it too," he assured her, "Believe in that… she's gonna be fine."

"El?"

"Hmm?"

"My test is tomorrow morning… I'm nervous."

"It's an easy test," he smiled, "It only took me six or seven times to pa-"

She swatted him and gave him a mock glare, "Way to encourage a girl."

He laughed, "You'll do fine, Liv… just remember, it's your essays and oral board that they really look at, so by all means, none of that chicken scratch you call handwriting."

"Chicken scratch? I'm insulted," she deadpanned and then smiled, "I only write like that in my notes at work… you been sneaking around, reading my notes?" she asked playfully.

"Me?" he shook his head, "Nope… okay, yeah."

She grinned, "Man, you lie really badly, I'm surprised we make it through interrogations tog-" her smile faltered, "I'm not gonna have you beside me anymore am I?"

He gave an apologetic smile, "No… but, I'll be home more. I'll have the kids home by the time you get home, and for the first couple of months, you'll be home at night with the occasional call in's-'

"No," she exhaled, "Cragen was filling me in over the phone… since I'm training, I'm there, no slack."

He pushed her bangs away, "It's gonna be okay, Liv… women have babies and go to work and do very well. You didn't debate going back with Isaac was born, what's changed?"

Simply, she looked at him, "We lost Isaac, that's what changed."

He nodded softly, "Baby… we're not gonna loose any of our kids, not one… in fact," he smirked, "if all goes well… we'll be adding one in a couple of years?"

She laughed, "You know… I haven't seen my abs in almost a year, I've got stretch marks all over my body, my belly is a commercial for Jell-O and you're asking me to have another baby?" she laughed again, "Your timing sucks… ask me when I can see my abs again."

He chuckled, "Liv, come on, you know you want another one."

She grinned, lowered her flannel pajamas to her hip bone and pointed to her birth control patch, "Not any time soon, buddy."

He shook his head, laughing, "I know. Not soon. But… sometime, right?"

She beamed, lifted her head and pulled him into a playful kiss, "Absolutely."

She sat completely up and straddled his thighs, locking her hands around his neck, "If we had another one… what would you want?"

"Duh," he chuckled, "A boy."

She tilted her head and smiled, "Hannah too much for your testosterone balance?"

He grinned, "No… but she's my one and only and I like that she's my only little girl, because in five years I'm gonna be the apple of that little girl's eye."

"Yeah," Olivia teased, "and when she's sixteen and she wants to date the guy you don't approve of… she's gonna hate you."

He furrowed his brow, "Nice, Liv."

She grinned, kissed him again, "That's what you get for saying she's your one and only."

He arched a brow, "You know what I meant."

"I know… but I still needed to get ya back, didn't want to upset my balance, you understand," she grinned and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

"What did Huang want?"

She pulled back in slight shock, "I'm sitting over your thighs."

"Right."

"I'm kissing you," she smirked.

"Uh huh… but what did he want?"

She raised her brow, "I'm trying to get you in bed, and you want to talk about Huang?"

He laughed, "Trying to get me in bed, huh?"

She shrugged, "I'll take you on the couch if you want, but just remember my back hurts."

He laughed harder and kissed her again, "Tell me, what he wanted."

"He had to talk to me to clear me to return to work since I was off longer than just maternity leave, and apparently I'm gonna be walking into a pretty nasty case, plus training someone… I think he needed to know that I could handle on that plus four kids and a really sexy husband, before giving Cragen the green light."

Elliot waggled his brows, "He thinks I'm sexy?"

She pulled back and stared in shock, "Something you want to tell me about you and the good doctor?"

He laughed "No! Come on, don't be gross Liv."

She chuckled, "But, I love to see that vein pop out of your neck," she whispered and adjusted her body to kiss it, to trail the tip of her tongue along its path, kissing the hinge of his jaw and nuzzling his ear, "I know you want me," she whispered, "stop being a martyr."

He groaned into her shoulder, "Liv, don't do this to me… you know I can't resist you and I want to talk to you tonight."

She pulled back, ran her index finger along his body, down his abdomen before grazing his forming erection, "I don't know, El… I think you want to do more than just talk."

He laughed, "Now! And no thanks to you and that erotic little voice you have." He kissed her and removed her from his lap ignoring her whimper of protest as he laid her back onto the couch, "I wanted to spend some time with you… when you test tomorrow and go back to work, our schedules aren't gonna be friendly… I want to spend time with you."

She grinned and stretched her legs out, placing her feet on his lap, "Cost ya a foot massage."

He arched his brow, "I know where your foot massages lead. You're a dangerous woman."

She waggled her brows, "Never knew you were scared of a woman."

He laughed and took one of her feet into the warmth of his hands and gently began to sooth it. She moaned and he knew she was doing it on purpose, trying to arouse him. She was succeeding.

She took her free foot and lightly grazed his crotch with her toes, "Want to just spend time with me? Ha!" she laughed, "You're so turned on right now… why don't you just admit that you want me?"

"I never denied that," he blushed.

"Then? Okay, I'll make you a deal… you and I can have a quickie, right on this very couch, clothes on, the whole bit," she teased, "that's cutting down time right? No foreplay, just straight to the main event… saving time to just talk, how's that for a compromise? That's win-win if you ask me."

He laughed again, "I don't know who's more turned on right now, me or you?"

She chuckled, "Um… well, I'm pretty sure if you don't make love to me… I'll have to change my panties anyway."

His brows rose high, "Oh… that's-that's-that's, pretty, um… that's hot," he stammered.

She laughed, withdrew her feet and sat up, playfully folding her arms, "Guess you'll never know."

He hovered over her immediately, cupped her cheek and pulled her into a hard kiss, "You really want a quickie, 'cause if you want something else, I'll give you whatever."

She smiled softly, covered his wrists with her hands as he held her face, "I just want to connect with you, I'm feeling a little lost."

He narrowed his eyes, "Is this… is this about the eighth? If it is, if it's too soon for you, we can change the date."

"No!" she said adamantly, "No! Don't give me an out… being with you the other night, even with my clothes still on… you have no idea the good it did for me. I want to go all the way, I'm nervous about it, sure… but, I'm trying to take it slow and I'm trying to processes it and I keep talking to Vivian. I'm… I'm preparing as much as possible, but yeah… I'm nervous it could go bad," she confessed and suddenly he felt like a jerk for spoiling their time of teasing and flirting with something so intimately painful for her.

"I'm sorry… I didn't need to bring that up, did I?"

"It's okay," she smiled, "But uh… it's getting pretty late, and I have a major test tomorrow, not to mention the fact that we've got to pack diaper bags for Mrs. Reynoso-"

"I'm surprised she would take the twins on, too," he said.

"Me too… I called to tell her we'd just put the kids in day care and she just about had a heart attack on the phone, I think she's excited to be around Isaac again and Sam will be a help to her, she loves kids and she's so good to them, we're lucky to have her."

He nodded softly.

"Well," she teased, "I'm going to bed."

He raised his brow in shock as she simply got off the couch. He pulled her quickly back to him, "W-What about the quickie?"

She shrugged, "Ehh, you don't seem interested; a girl can take a hint." She gave a quick peck and turned to leave.

He got up, and quickly pulled her back as soon as she passed the love seat, "I think I've talked about everything I wanted to," he said suddenly, "What about you? Anything on your mind?"

She grinned, "Sleep."

He sat on the smaller love seat and pulled her down to his lap, "You're going to make me beg?"

"Yup… otherwise I'm exhausted and going to sleep," she teased.

"I'm above begging," he told her with his best serious face.

She grinned, tickled his erection lightly, "Not when it comes to me, and you know it."

He smiled, narrowed his eyes at her, "You are so beautiful when you're confidant."

She laughed and stood up, "Night, El."

She walked away, slowly. Giving him a chance. He took it and immediately stood and closed the gap between them, "I want you."

She exhaled and gave an apologetic smile, "Should've taken me when I was offerin'," she smiled and gave him a peck on the lips and attempted to leave when he cupped the back of her head, and pulled her back to him, kissing her quick and hot.

"Please."

She grinned, "I thought you were above begging?"

He nodded, kissed her again and unbuttoned all but the last two buttons of her flannel shirt, "Not when it comes to you… you know that and you've used it against me."

Quickly, she went back to his mouth, kissed him, taunted his tongue and nipped at his lip as she tugged and pulled at his shirt until it was off and cast away on the floor, "You better believe it," she panted, eagerly caressing his chest with her hands as she watched his chest rise and fall, "You're beautiful… did you know that?"

He smirked, "Not as hot as you, but I like to think I take care of myself."

She chuckled and gasped when he took her back and playfully pushed her onto the love seat. She stood back up, "I'm not that easy, Stabler."

He kissed her and instead of touching her with his hands he pulled down his own pajama's. He caressed her bottom as soon as he stepped out. She tried to pull away from his kiss, to tease him. He held her lips between his teeth and hungrily took her back, pulling her body against his until she moaned. He chuckled, "Yes you are."

"You're the one completely naked… who's the anxious one?" she teased.

He flopped down on the love seat and propped himself on his elbow, "Liv… you can't go without this, so stop trying to act like you don't want to take me for everything I've got right now. You know you want to have your way with me."

She bent low, grazed her lips over his and whispered, "You can't turn the tables on me… night, El," she smiled and kissed him softly before turning to leave. He pulled her back and down to him, her bottom against his body, she gasped and chuckled, "Think you picked a small enough couch?"

"So you admit we're about to make love? You're gonna break and beg me to take you?"

She laughed, "Dream on, buddy… in fact," she faked a yawn, "I may just go to sleep right here, night."

He grabbed her thigh, pulled her closer to him and whispered in her ear, "Please don't fall asleep… I want you… let me have you. Please?"

She grinned, "Sounds like begging to me."

He pulled her flannel down softly and kissed her shoulder, "I'll beg… please let me have you? Let me watch you come tonight, let me make you come."

She chuckled, "I won."

He nodded softly and slipped his hand into her boy shorts sliding them down just enough for his entry, "Let me have you."

She reached back, caressed his bare bottom and pulled him into her, hissing as he slid inside of her. She groaned as he immediately began to move within her and just as she was ready to climax, he withdrew, sat up and smiled, "Night, Liv."

It took her a second to realize what he'd done. Quickly she stood and grabbed him, pushing him back down to the couch, "I don't know what you think you're doing," she said licking her lips, "But you'd better finish what you started."

He grinned and shrugged, "I'm so tired."

She carefully lay next to him and stroked him gently, the evidence that only a moment ago he was bringing her into ecstasy, still covering him. She withdrew her touch only to bring her finger to his lips, "You sure you're tired?"

He sucked her finger and she felt him harden against her, she smiled, "Yeah, I didn't think you were tired… I could make you tired though, if you want."

He smirked, curled his body to fit the length of the couch, he positioned her so her legs draped over his thighs and rested over the top of the couch, he cradled her shoulders as she hung to the side. He entered her quickly, without warning or prelude and moved before giving her another chance to talk.

She groaned, tossed her head back, the blood rushing to her head as she hung her head weightless over his supporting arm, "Oh… faster."

He grinned, splayed his hand over her belly as he thrust into her, in a moment in a matter of seconds she'd come in his arms, panting and whimpering, he chuckled, kept moving; offered her body no rest or mercy and continued as her pulsating muscles tugged at him, almost violently, "I haven't even touched you yet, and you're already breaking," he teased, "sounds like you really needed this."

"Stop talking," she groaned, meeting his thrust with her own and reaching for his body as the blood continued to rush to her head, she dug her hand into his ribs, he hissed and it seemed to only spur him on.

"Liv," he groaned, "close."

She breath laboriously, "Touch me."

He reached her, rubbed her core with his finger and watched the pressure in her body build.

"El!" she moaned, "Now, please."

He rubbed her harder and thrust faster until she raised her head, breaking in his arms for the second time, the sudden rush of blood from her head adding to her orgasm. He thrust once more and came, holding tightly to her body, muffling his groan into her neck.

They panted together, struggled to catch their breath and both chuckled at the same time, "What are you laughing at?"

She smiled, "I won."

He kissed her mouth softly, and propped himself back on his elbow, allowing her entire body to lay on the couch as she looked up at him, happy and satisfied and completely glowing. He kissed her again, "I hope that patch doesn't really work."

She bit her bottom lip, "Secretly… so do I. But, the doc says it's good. Couple of years?"

He nodded, "A couple of years," he whispered over her lips and kissed her softly, lazily tonguing her neck, kissing her collar bone and kneading the flesh of her side with his hand. He smiled to himself, kissed the skin between her breasts and pulled back, taking the site of her chest in.

"El-"

"Shh," he told her still admiring what he caused her body to do. She was embarrassed when she came and her milk released. He thought it was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. It hadn't happened when she was breast feeding Isaac, but it happened now, and it was sexy and hot and erotic and he could feel himself getting hard just looking at her.

Slowly, he lowered his lips to her breast, "El… don't," she squirmed, trying to close her shirt.

"Shh… I want to," he whispered, looking up at her, "I want to… I like it.'

"El-"

He took her hand and guided it to his body to prove it to her, "I like it, Liv... let me, please?"

She exhaled, leaned back on the arm rest of the couch and closed her eyes. Not so much to embrace the passion but more so to hide the embarrassment. He lowered his lips to her, kissed her nipple tenderly. She hissed, her hands automatically cradling his head. If she didn't want it before, that hiss told him she wanted it now.

Slowly, he licked from the base of her breast, over the curve, tracing the darkened patch until he lazily made smaller and smaller circles over her nipple, she groaned and surprised him, "El… you're gonna make me come."

He pulled back and grinned, "Really? Just with that?"

She kept her eyes closed, licked her lips and nodded, "You haven't touched me like that in a long time."

He chuckled, "Not for a lack of trying."

She brought his head to her other side and arched her body into him, he happily teased her again, large circles, smaller circles, gentle tracing and after a moment, he felt her hands dig into his shoulders. She came softly, quietly, and rested back on the arm rest, exhausted.

He kissed her mouth, "Three times to my one… that's so unfair."

"Now… I really am tired."

He kissed her breast again and chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

He grinned, "You taste sweet."

She chuckled, slapped his side playfully, "Shut up!"

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Her moan woke him up.

"Liv?" he whispered as she struggled to sit up on the side of the bed, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she shook her head and attempted to stand only to shriek and quickly lower herself.

Still naked from their encounter only hours ago, he kneeled behind her, "Whats wrong?" he asked more firmly.

"Um… that, uh position felt really good, but, uh… my back is killing me right now," she blushed.

"Come here," he whispered and helped her to her side and eventually to her belly, placing a pillow under her tender breast. "Tell me where."

"Everywhere," she moaned, "it's so painful, please help me."

He grinned and kneeled between her thighs, inadvertently rubbing into her naked bottom. She gasped, "That's not gonna help me… that's gonna get me into bigger trouble," she muttered, "put it away, please."

He chuckled used the comforter as a barrier and gently worked the muscles of her back, "Well, I see why your so tense… you one gigantic, painful, knot."

"Thanks," she exhaled, "I try."

"Close your eyes," he whispered and continued soothing her aching muscles, "go to sleep."

She fought sleep, wanting to savor and remember his touch, "This is all your fault, you know that, right?"

"How's this my fault?" he smiled, running his tongue along her spine and continuing to massage her.

"If you would have picked the bigger couch, this wouldn't have happened."

He grinned, moved the comforter from his hips and covered her body, "But then, I wouldn't be touching you right now."

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"Benson!" Cragen bellowed from his office, "What the hell! You're late!"

Olivia dropped her bag on her desk and furrowed her brow, "Geeze guys, you could have at least dusted it for me,"

Fin smacked his lips, "That would be the very domesticated Mac… not me."

"Why not you?" Mac asked throwing a wadded message paper at him. It was Munch and Fin incarnate, Olivia was just happy Fin seemed to finally settle in with Mac, before ripping his head off.

"I'm a stray," Fin said and tilted his head, "I don't do domesticity."

Mac furrowed his brow, "Is that even a word?"

"Benson!" Cragen bellowed again, "Before I loose the rest of my hair, please!"

Olivia smiled at Mac and Fin, "Same old bug up his crawl, huh?"

Mac chuckled, "The man has been between an aneurism and a heart attack for awhile now… good thing you're back."

"Why?" she smirked.

Fin chuckled, "'Cause our butts have been nailed more times than a telephone pole… it's your turn."

Olivia walked away and chuckled, "But I'm his favorite."

She walked into her Captain's office and sat with a confidence that only her badge brought her, however, when she walked through the precinct door today, she'd felt a feeling she never felt before. The overwhelming desire to be in a house, around children, catering to their every whim. _Her_ house. _Her_ children. _Their_ whims.

"Good to have you back," Cragen smiled softly and then motioned to a stack of files on his desk, "These are the cases Mac and Fin have been stuck on… there's nothing there, I've looked them over five times and I've got nothing."

She smirked at him, "How'd your test go Benson?" she mocked, "Ehh pretty good, glad you asked."

He exhaled, ran his hand over his head, "That's right… I'm sorry, I forgot. How'd it go?"

"It was hard, but I'm charming, I think I killed them in the oral."

"Good," he nodded, "you up for being back?"

"Wouldn't be here if I wasn't," she smiled. Had she just told a lie?

"Alright, well… happy hunting." Cragen exhaled, "Maybe your fresh eyes will give us a leg up on this guy?"

"Maybe," she smiled and took the stack off of the corner of his desk.

"Olivia,"

"Yeah Cap?"

"Um…, uh… if you, uh, well I know it's, uh… the babies are young, uh, um… you could uh,"

She furrowed her brows at his sudden stammering, "Cap… can you get it out, these files aren't exactly light."

He crammed his hands in his pocket, "Uh, if you, uh haven't, uh… see, if the babies aren't just on the bottle, then uh… you could use the crib."

She shook her head, "What are you-oh!" she chuckled, "Um… I think I've worked it out where I feed them in the morning, but I might have to, uh… pump on my lunch, but thank you for the consideration."

He blushed, "It's not a problem, I know with Isaac… well, Kimbers from dispatch said you crammed yourself in the bathroom. I'm just saying, if you want a place more comfortable, we'll work it out so no one disturbs you in the crib."

She smiled, tried to hold her blush, "Thanks Don… any word on my partner?"

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"Anyone talk to Warner about the second one?" Olivia asked leaning back in her seat and studying the file.

"Only about twenty-eight times," Fin quipped, "Mac and she think it's the same perp."

She raised her head and looked at Mac, "Why? There's nothing linking them… different sex, different poses… what's your hunch?"

Mac exhaled, "Don't know… just got one."

"Well," Olivia shook her head, "that's cryptic… I'm gonna go get a soda, you guys want one?"

Fin looked at the clock, "I think you're gonna go get freaky with your man, in some broom closet somewhere."

She chuckled, "Well, that's one less soda for you."

"Excuse me?" an unfamiliar voice caused Olivia to turn around.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Olivia Benson."

Olivia furrowed her brows not willing to establish her identity to a perfect stranger. The files in his hand told her he wasn't a victim.The clothing, not professional but not beach wear. The age, it didn't fit. "What's your name?"

"Carpediem Stratus," he smiled and offered his hand, "And you?"

"Is this a joke?" she placed her hands on her hips, "you expect me to believe that your name is Carpediem?"

He blushed but she couldn't tell if the redness came from the adult acne on his face or the fact that she'd embarrassed him, "My parents were interesting people-"

"Cruel is more like it," Mac quipped from behind.

"Can it Mac," Olivia shot back and then returned to the odd ball person in front of her and then it dawned on her, "Oh, you can't be serious," her eyes went wide, "this is a joke."

"'Fraid not," he smiled retrieving his identification, "See there, Carpediem is my real name, but, my friends call me Carp, it's kind of catchy, right?"

Fin smacked his lips, "Carp isn't catchy, fool. It's a fish."

"Fin!" Olivia scolded and looked at the scrawny creature in front of her, "Please tell me this is a joke."

He smiled, irritation slowly penning across his face, "It's just a name Ma'am, a pleasure of which I don't even have in regards to you."

She furrowed her brow and slowly repeated the phrase in shock, "A pleasure. I don't even, have…," she furrowed her brow in frustration, "Where did you come from?"

He returned his wallet to his pocket confused by this woman, "Um, well, I was born in Oregon-"

Her eyes went wider, "West Coast! Uggh it gets worse."

"I'm sorry… I don't understand. I was just born there, that's what my birth certificate says, but uh, well, I moved around a lot and uh, I guess I slowly worked my way to New York's finest."

"Or youngest," Mac muttered under his breath.

Olivia shook her head and pointed to a chair, "Just… sit there and, uh… does your mom know you're here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Uggh, slow too. Nice." She shook her head and walked away into Cragen's office.

"Is this a joke?" she asked frantically, "Are you serious? Did you know about this?"

He furrowed his brows, looked over her shoulder and exhaled, "Ah… you're partner."

"That! Is not! My partner!" she hissed pointing behind her.

"What's wrong with him?" Cragen asked looking through the window again.

Olivia's mouth slid agape as her eyes bulged, "He's ten, Don!"

"No," Cragen held up a personnel file, "Says right here, he's twenty-three."

"Twenty. Three." She repeated, "Is that even legal? Can he even work here? I mean, he can barely order a drink!"

Cragen chuckled, "Take a seat, Liv."

"Speaking of seat!" she hissed, "Can I get a booster seat for the sedan… come on Don, he's a kid!"

"This is his first detective assignment; he's a clean slate… that's what I wanted."

"Don," she lowered her voice, "I need someone that is gonna pull out a real gun when the time comes, not a cap gun!"

"Olivia, where were you at twenty-three?"

She exhaled, "Beat cop."

Don leaned back in his chair, "He's got drive, Olivia. He's been associated with the force since he was eighteen, his record is flawless, that's the only reason I took a gamble with him. You're one of my best detectives. I lost Stabler to robbery… I need another one like him. You're the only one capable of training that boy to that specification."

She exhaled, flopped back in her seat, "Don… that's just it… he's a boy."

"He's a damn good cop… so are you. Who trained you?"

"I had a few… no one really gave me a chance because I was female, I think they thought I'd be a beat officer for the rest of my life."

"Give him a chance. Read his jacket, his test scores are there, he's academically brilliant but he needs hands on."

She furrowed her brows, "He's a kid, Don."

"He's a kid that's willing to die for the shield. I can't think of anyone more suited for the job. He has begged relentlessly to get into this unit. And I'm not kidding, since the day they pinned a badge on that boys chest, he's put in a transfer request once a month."

She arched her brows, "Why?"

Don shrugged, "Sounds like a piece of information a partner might want to get out of him."

"Yeah," she scoffed, "I still haven't even had time to sort Mac out."

Don laughed, "Mac, is a little different. He's a good man, so is Carpediem."

She groaned, "Who names their kid that?"

"Olivia," Cragen clasped his hands over his belly, "if it were Sam… wouldn't you want someone to help him?"

"My son has nothing to do with this," she countered sharply, "nothing!"

"Perhaps," he exhaled, "but give him a chance before you throw him to the dogs… no one will be Elliot. No one will ever be your first partner, but it's up to you to make him _as_ good as your first partner."

She shook her head and stood grabbing for the door knob, "Fine. But, I'm not calling him Carp. Who does that crap?"

Cragen chuckled, "Be nice, Benson."

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"Carpedium," Olivia thumbed her brow and extended her hand to him, "I'm Olivia Benson."

He grinned, "Wow… I sort of thought you were just the really pretty dispatcher or secretary or something like that."

Out of her peripheral she watched Mac and Fin turn slowly and bore holes into the kid's soul. She exhaled, "Let's, uh… set some guide lines, to help you, well, to help us not kill you," she licked her lips, "never refer to me as anything other than Olivia or Benson."

"Liv?"

"Definitely, not."

"Oh… okay," he smiled, "So, uh… do I get a desk or something?"

She rubbed her eyes in frustration. How this was gonna work she wasn't sure. Maybe she'd be better off with the old fart waiting to retire or have a heart attack because he was too fat to do anything useful, "Are you familiar with the precinct?"

"No, I came from queens."

She rolled her eyes in exasperation, "Fabulous… let's go. Start with the easy stuff."

"Um… where do I put my stuff? Miss, Benson?"

She turned sharply, "What was the first guideline?"

"Sorry."

"Your desk is there. Keep your crap off of my desk. Keep your desk clean and organized, there will come times when we need to dig through one another's things to find files, so don't over load it with comic book-I mean- stuff," she stammered. "Come on… soda machine. I need sugar."

He followed quietly and watched her deposit coins into the machine, hit it once, twice, three times before the soda released. She grinned, "That's the most important thing you'll need to know about this place… three hits, no more no less," she said handing him a sprite and leaning against the wall, "Why did you apply for SVU twenty-six times?"

He held her piercing gaze, "I joined the force as a recruit, took academy classes at night. As for why I asked for SVU, well that's personal."

"Great," she huffed, "I'm gonna take a bullet for Mr. Personal."

"I don't know you," he shrugged.

"Alright, look… I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot. I admit, I think you're a little young and I'm not use to breaking someone in, so let's just start over."

He smiled boyishly because after all, there wasn't enough testosterone to give anything else, "Okay, please, call me Carp."

She opened her mouth to protest, then closed it, "Alright, Carp, I'm Olivia, but don't call me Liv."

"Okay… fair enough."

She wondered vaguely if she had missed Elliot. They were suppose to meet for a short break at the vending machine just to tell her he got the kids off to the right place and Sam in school. She wanted to tell him she thought she did well on the test. That she'd know by the end of the day, but maybe she'd missed him when she was having a conniption fit in Cragen's office.

Little did she know Elliot was at the bottom of the stairwell watching her interaction with a man he'd never seen before. Surely something that young wasn't the partner. He walked a little closer, anxious to hear her interaction. Anything was better than sitting in an office looking over robbery tapes.

Bashing your head against a wall and then yelling at it for making you bleed was better than that.

"What do you do for entertainment?" Olivia asked trying to get a feel for him. If he said anything along the lines of cartoons she was gonna flip her lid.

"Are you asking me out?" he grinned.

She stared at him, un-amused, "No. I assure you. I'm not."

He looked away and blushed, "What if I was asking you out?"

Elliot's smile faded quicker than a desert rain drop. He'd kill him. Snap him like a twig. Fry his legs in butter. Rip his tongue out and slap him with it. Where did this snot faced kid get off asking his wife out! As un-amused as he was by this ballzy little prick, he was curious to see Olivia's reaction.

"Okay," she nodded in irritation, "it's obvious we need to work on your observation skills… did you miss the ring?" she asked, tilting her head and holding up her left hand to him.

He blushed, "Guess I did."

"Nice… so basically you know crap about being a detective. Let me tell you something, I'm willing to look over your blatant disregard for my time in, I'm even more inclined to blame it on the fact that your obviously still going through puberty, but lets you and me get something straight quick, fast and in a hurry. I am committed to my husband, my marriage and my four children, no young buck like you will even get so much as a second thought from me, and if you ever come at me with that kind of crap again, I will cut your balls off. Assuming they've actually dropped. Do you understand me?"

He swallowed hard, "Um… yeah. Yeah, loud and clear."

"What did I just tell you?" she asked treating him as if he were a child needing to repeat a mother's instruction.

"Uh… keep my crap off of your desk. No comic books. Be organized. It's Olivia or Benson. Three hits nor more no less, and uh, if I want my balls, you're my partner, nothing more nothing less."

She exhaled, "Good. Remember that and I might not shoot you at the end of the day."

"I'm sorry," he apologized, almost too seriously, "I didn't mean any disrespect, you just… well, you sort of took my bre-"

She held up her hand, "If you finish the sentence, I'll tell Cragen to send you back to Queens."

"Okay," he smiled softly and gave a bashful bow of his head, "I'm sorry."

"Now, another rule you'll need to have engraved in your head."

"What?"

"Always carry a lot of change."

"Change? In case our cell's don't work?"

She furrowed her brow, "Cells? No… henceforth you'll be buying the sodas."

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"Okay, say you got a vic," Olivia drilled the young guy over her sandwich, bummed that Elliot was overseeing a disciplinary problem and couldn't' make it down to eat with her.

"Okay, vic… what about it?"

She wiped mustard from the corner of her mouth, "The vic is dead by the time we get to the scene but there are stab wounds everywhere… no blood. What's that mean?"

He frantically flipped through a book looking for the answer. Olivia groaned, reached across the desks and took the book from him, "Books come in handy when you're studying for a test or you can't find a coaster or you need to hold a door open, not for actually learning something… no books, just ears and experience. Understand? You want books, you read them at home."

He furrowed his brow, "How will I learn it then?"

She took another bite and mumbled, "Use the brain God gave you… think it through, gather your information and think about it, know it, feel it and then follow your gut."

"You don't study?"

"Only if I need to test or renew or take an oral board… being a detective is following hunches, learning from experience and being a follower before you lead. I followed a good detective for eight years. He knew his crap. I know my crap. You listen to me and the guys and maybe by the time you're the ripe old age of thirty you might know some crap too."

"You're a hard person."

She swallowed slowly and looked at him, careful to soften her features, "Rule number… whatever we're on. Compassion and hardness must coexist within you and be displayed when its necessary. It's a balance. If you're too compassionate this job will eat you. Too hard and you'll eat your own gun… remember that, it'll save you the whole alcoholic cop scenario."

He nodded and was about to say something when he was cut off.

"Who's catchin?"

"We are," Mac stood, grabbing for his jacket, "What do we got, Cap?"

"Rape murder," he exhaled and past the address to Mac before turning to Benson, "You and the kid, go get some experience in, but you're not the lead investigator, just get Carp familiar… see if he's got the balls to pull this gig off.

Carp followed his partner out of the precinct, _Why is everyone so fascinated with my balls?_

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"Fin," Olivia called into the house as she walked in a straight line, "What do we got?" she turned to Carp, "You walk in a single straight line through the whole crime scene, you don't step in anything, you don't touch anything without gloves… strike that, just don't touch anything for now."

He nodded and followed her as Fin and Mac looked up from their crime scene. An infant. Damnit, "It's bad, Liv," Fin said softly, "I don't know if you really want to train him on this one… I don't know if you even want to be here for it."

She exhaled, "It's my job and it's his job." She turned to Carp, "It's sink or swim kid, let's see whatchya got."

Fin and Mac processed the scene as Olivia and Carp kneeled down next to the tiny body, "I'm going to be sick," he muttered, starring wide eyed at the site before him.

"Push it down, swallow it… what are the clues here? What's the information? Process it, tell me," she told him.

His brown eyes blinked rapidly holding back tears as he looked at the tiny baby, "Infant… appears to be… female. Two to three months old. No blood present-"

"What does that suggest?" she asked starring down at the tiny baby and trying to push the sight of Hannah out of her mind, "What's it suggest?" she urged him.

He exhaled, ran his hand through black hair that Elliot would have died having to wear, yet this young man pulled it off well. Long, covering his ears, "It suggest, perhaps a non violent way of killing… I'm confused."

"As too?" Olivia raised her brows, focusing on his intense face. He wasn't gonna make it here.

He stared blankly, "If it's murder… why are we here? I thought it was rape murder?"

"Dispatch was confused," Fin offered softly as he looked at Olivia, "It's murder, clear cut, but because it's an infant… special victim."

Carp swallowed hard, reached out to touch the baby, "Don't," Olivia told him softly, "Don't touch anything without gloves," she handed him a set and he dawned them almost ceremoniously.

"What else can we take in from there being no blood?" she asked encouraging his mind to think mechanically instead of emotionally. Like hers was. As soon as she got back to the bull pen, she was calling to hear her daughters coo over the phone.

Carp exhaled, stoked the infants cheek as she lay lifeless on the floor, a pink one piece pajama adorning her body, "There's poisoning, but we can't rule out shaken baby syndrome."

Impressive, he knew something, "Why not SIDS?"

He continued to stare down at the body in hopes the baby would suddenly wake up and this would all be a dark hoax, "She's on the floor. Posed in the fetal position… there's no comforter around, no crib. In fact… since we've walked into the house, there's no indication that an infant actually resides here. No pictures, no smells, no… nothing."

Olivia nodded, "Maybe your observation skills aren't too bad afterall."

He stood slowly, still staring sadly at the baby, "Maybe."

"Come on," Olivia exhaled and ushered him out of the room, "I'll buy you a hot dog."

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Half way to the hoagie stand he was bent over in the bushes vomiting. She peeked over his shoulder, "Oh, so that's what you had for breakfast."

He stood shakily, "I can't do this… she was so small, this is not-"

"Hey," she grabbed his shoulders, "don't go there. You can't do that and survive this unit. Get your balls out of your pocket and focus."

"I don't have it in me."

"Then you'd better get it," she told him, "you'd better figure out exactly why you came to SVU and then you hold onto that and you fight for it like it's your own little patch of grass, and after you've ran cases, and you're worn out and you want to eat you're gun, then you remember that baby girl in there, and you fight like hell to keep your patch of grass, because no one fought for hers. Understand?"

"I-"

"The first case is gonna eat at you," she told him softly, "I'm not gonna lie… you're gonna go home and you're gonna cry and you're gonna be angry and pissed off and you're gonna second guess your decision to come to SVU… you're goal is to know why you came… and keep fighting."

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She groaned looking at her watch, "I'm home, guys!" _Four hours late, but I'm here_.

"Mom!" Sam yelled from the couch and ran to her voice.

"Mama here!" Isaac giggled running his boxer clad body after Sam, both colliding with her legs and hugging her tightly.

"Mom," Sam grinned up at her, "Mom, I missed you. I played chess with dad, and there's a new boy at the center, and Mrs. Reynoso taught me how to make tortillas, and Alex shared her lunch with me, and Crystal, she's gonna come over tomorrow-"

"Mama!" Isaac jumped still holding on to her.

Sam continued, "And I got an 'A' on my math test, and I think I have a new friend and I took a nap and-"

"Sam," she chuckled and kneeled down kissing his cheek as Isaac wedged himself between her legs and rested his head on her chest sighing contently, "you're very excited," she smiled.

Sam moved closer and rested his head on her shoulder, "I missed you, Mom."

She laughed, kissed his head, "I was at work."

"Oh… can you not go to work anymore? That's too long to be without you."

She smiled softly, kissed his cheek, "Is your homework done?"

"Yeah, dad helped me… wanna check it?"

"Is it your science homework?"

"No… social studies."

"Nope… that's your dad's thing, I'm not so hot in that."

He grinned, "Dad say's your hot… Solomon peed on dad."

She laughed, looked up to see Elliot waiting patiently to embrace her, "Only minutes after Hannah puked on me."

"Mama!" Isaac called to her again and pulled her neck down, kissing her quickly before trotting off, "Zooos!"

"Did you eat?"

"Yeah," Sam smiled, "I'm tired but I wanted to wait for you. I wanted to see you 'cause you went to work so early today and I didn't get to be with you."

She hugged him tightly and rubbed his back, "I love you and I missed you so much, today… you can call me at work, you know."

He chuckled, "I'm sleepy."

She held up a small insulated bag, "Can you put the babies' milk in the fridge?"

"Yeah," he agreed and took the bag to do his chore before heading off to bed.

She stood and Elliot immediately closed the gap between them. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest, "Hi."

"Hi."

She pulled back, narrowed her eyes at him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he smiled and kissed her, "just glad you're home… I don't know how you manage with the kids by yourself."

"Drove you nuts?"

"No… just exhausted me."

She grinned, kissed him again, "I love you."

He kissed her back, "Who was that guy you were talking to in the hall?"

She furrowed her brow and tilted her head, "Huh?"

"The guy in the hall… he asked you out, who was he?"

"You were there? Why didn't you come and say hi?" she asked, "I wanted to see you."

He exhaled, "Who was he?"

She smiled coyly and kissed the corner of his mouth, "You jealous?"

"Yep."

She chuckled, "Don't be."

"He asked my wife out… I'm jealous. Who was he?" he asked, a hint of playfulness in his voice but she knew it bothered him.

"Um, well… that was my, uh… partner actually?"

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her, "You're mocking me?"

She laughed, "No! Honey, no. I'm serious. His name is Carpediem b-"

"Oh please!" Elliot groaned, "Liv… you expect me to believe that… come on, just level with me. Who is he?"

"You really are seriously jealous, aren't you?"

He shook his head, "I'm not denying it… I don't like the way he looked at you like you were already his and I didn't like him asking my wife out."

"So… you're mad at me for something he did?"

"No!" he cupped her face and smiled softly, "I heard what you told him… I just want to know who he is… so I can kill him."

She smiled, covered his hand with hers and kissed his palm, "El… I'm being serious. That's really my partner, that's really his name but people call him Carp."

"He changed his own diaper?"

She laughed, "My thoughts exactly." She wrapped her arms around his middle, "I love you Elliot… he asked me out. I shot him down… it's you, El. It's always you."

He smiled softly and kissed her forehead, "I know… I just don't like other guys drooling over my wife."

"When women drool over you… you know what I think?" she asked playfully.

"What?"

"I think to myself, 'yeah, he's a hot piece of meat sweetheart and he's on my menu,'. El… I think you're sexy, and sometimes I get jealous when women trip over them selves around you but… ultimately, I know you're coming home with me and you don't give them a second thought… I didn't give him a millisecond… I love you," she assured him.

"I know," he grinned, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be… nice to know you think I'm hot enough that every guy wants me."

"Even the gay ones," he quipped, "I swear that guy in VICE would fly straighter than an arrow if you paid attention to him."

She blushed, "I'm not going there."

He laughed, kissed her cheek, "I love you."

"I know… hey," she grinned, kissing him again, "I want to check on the babies… want to make out with me later?"

"Make out" he beamed, "like two teenagers in their parents' bed, when said parents are on vacation?"

She bit her bottom lip, "Yep."

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She held Hannah tight against her chest and rocked her gently, her tiny fingers wrapped tightly around Olivia's larger one, "Mommy had a miserable day today, honey."

Hannah remained sleeping in her mother's arms as Olivia continued to rock her. Her pink one piece pajamas reminding Olivia of the baby girl murdered, "How was your day, pumpkin?" she asked softly and bent her neck to kiss her. She let her lips linger and cried gently over her baby, "I saw that little girl… and I thought of you, and my heart broke."

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It had taken a few minutes to compose her self, but she managed, and jumped knees first onto the mattress, "Hi!"

"You're energetic," Elliot smiled.

She grinned, "I heard that you were waiting in here to make out with me."

He laughed, quickly turned the lights out and moved the blankets back, pulling her over him. She gasped, "I don't remember making out with any _naked_ guys."

He rubbed into her, "Maybe I want to do more than make out with my wife."

She grinned, as he rolled her to her back and immediately lowered his mouth to her abdomen, sucking her flesh. Marking her as his. His. Not some skinny, punk kid with a stupid name. She was his. He was hers.

She understood exactly what he was doing. He didn't do well with men encroaching on his territory, "Elliot," she whispered cupping his face, "look at me, baby."

He rested his chin on her belly and looked up, the pale light of the night sky illuminating their room, "I'm yours… I always have been. He didn't stand a chance. He _doesn't_ stand a chance."

Elliot exhaled, stretching alongside her and smirking, "What if you fall in love with him… what if he knocks you off of your feet?"

She raised her brows, smiled, "El… he's still _growing_," she chuckled, "I'm not attracted to him, in fact he's irritating. He messes with the radio station in the sedan and bounces his legs constantly. He knows every single president and sees weird patterns everywhere and he has this weird obsession with studying-how did he say it? The acquisition of language," she groaned, "I don't know what I did to deserve this kid, but I'd do anything to get rid of him."

He laughed, "The acquisition of language?"

"That's what I said."

"What station does he turn it to."

"AM… talk radio."

He groaned, "That's borderline blasphemous."

She kissed the corner of his mouth, "I'm gonna shoot him by the end of the week."

"You sure you don't like him? You thought I was irritating when you met me."

She licked her lips, kissed him full on the mouth, engaging him completely. Her tongue slipping past his stubbled lips, until she was stoking his, she ran her tongue slowly over his teeth then the roof of his mouth until she parted, panting, "I don't want him. Never will. I want you. I always do."

He exhaled as she stroked his chest softly, "I'm sorry… I know you didn't want him… I just-the thought of another man touching you… kills me."

She smiled, "He didn't touch me… I would have broken his wrist."

He chuckled, "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Who took that picture?" he asked pointing to the one she posed for. The one that made their room off limits for any visitors since it was hung.

She chuckled, "Are you kidding me?"

He moved to turn away, "Hey," she quickly kneeled behind him and wrapped her arms around him, "Hey, honey… no, no it's not like that. I know you can't stand it when guys look at me. I know it drives you nuts, but… I don't see them. I see you and I want you every second of every day… do you really think I'd want some young, inexperienced kid's hands on me?"

He exhaled, laid on his side, moving to his back and helping her straddle him before she stretched over him and kissed his lips, "I'm sorry."

She smiled, "Don't be. Makes me feel good that you want me that bad. I know you're not possessive… but I like that you _want_ to possess me."

He chuckled, "I just don't like that kid."

"Give him a chance, he was a perfect little ankle bitter after I took him out at the knees."

He rose up, kissed her again, and pulled her down to him, her moans forcing his hands in various places as hers stroked his sides. She broke away, kissed his lips, "If it makes you more comfortable… the photographer was a sixty-five year old woman."

He chuckled, "Actually, yeah that makes me feel better, but you tell Carp if I ever see him touch you I'll kill him."

She laughed, kissed his lips, "Elliot… his hands don't stand a chance against yours. I want you, not him. There's no way, he'd be able to make me come as much as you do. There's no way, he'd give me brilliantly beautiful kids, like you have, and there's no way his touch could make me want him in an instant… not like yours does."

He exhaled, "Good to know."

She grinned devilishly, "Good, now can I get a celebratory make out session or what?"

He furrowed his brows, "Celebratory?"

She bent low, kissed him, playfully as she ran her hands over his chest, "You are kissing a grade one detective right now."

He beamed, reached up and touched her face, "You passed… that's so great, Liv. Wait. How'd you know so fast?"

"Cragen has been wound up tighter than a cheap watch… I think the board gave him the results to save him a stroke."

He grinned, "I'm so proud of you… I love you."

"Yeah? Why don't you… show me?"

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"Hey, wake up," Olivia whispered in Sam's ear. He didn't move. "Wake up, I know you're faking."

He smirked, "Nuts."

"Get up, honey," she told him again, rubbing his belly.

"Why mom? I can't feel the sun… it's not time to get up," he told her before snuggling down into his covers.

"Oh," she faked disappointment, "that's too bad… I thought maybe you'd want to work on your karate form before I went to work, but if you want to sleep th-"

He was out of his bed quicker than she'd ever seen. Tripod growled his disapproval at being woken up but quickly scrounged about the covers and nestled into warmth. Promptly shutting his eyes. Lazy. Grumpy. That was Tripod, "You fit into your pants now mom?"

She furrowed her brow, looked down, "Yeah… although the scale says I shouldn't be."

Sam smirked, pulling his own canvas pants on and reaching his belt.

"Nope, think again, handsome. It's cold, get the jacket too."

He groaned, "Mom… I can't tie it good."

"That's why we're practicing… what's with the smirk anyway… you know something I don't?"

He blushed, "No."

"Oh yes you do… what is it?"

"Nothing," he smiled.

"Hmm… I don't know. I might have to interrogate you, really make you feel the heat."

"No," he laughed, "Mom, I don't know that dad-" he sealed his hands over his mouth.

Olivia grinned, picked him up under his shoulders and plopped him on the bed, "What did your dad do?"

"Not telling."

"Oh yes you are," she laughed, "or I will tickle you mercilessly."

He balled up, "Can't get me."

She tickled his feet, caused him to straighten and expose his torso to which she tickled just as she'd promised, "Tell, me."

"You'll wake up, brother!"

"Tell me… he'll go back to sleep."

"Tri!" Sam laughed, "Help!"

Tri gave a weak bark and went back to sleep, "You're partner in crime sold you out… tell me."

"Okay, give!" he laughed and promptly sold his father out.

She grinned, "Really? He did that?"

"Yeah… can we practice?"

"Sure."

She spent almost an hour with him in the living room. The coffee table pushed to the side for room. She reviewed his forms to his yellow belt and was surprised to see that he'd kept up with it on his own.

"I think tomorrow we'll start working for your next belt huh?"

He grinned, "Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"I mean," he bowed quickly, "Yes, Ma'am."

"Okay, quick, go jump in the shower so you're not late for school. I love you."

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Elliot groggily opened his eyes to see his wife, her back to him, bobbing up and down on the balls of her feet, switching side to side. Sweating. She was sexy even working out. He climbed out of bed and risked scaring her as he snaked his arms around her and hugged her, "Morning."

She grinned, panting, "Hey… I didn't want to wake you, but Isaac is sleeping and Sam is listening to the Spanish channel in the living room, and I thought it was time I got back into some sort of a routine."

"You didn't wake me," he assured her, and kissed her neck softly, "you look really hot in this outfit."

"Uniform," she corrected.

"Semantics," he smiled and lowered his hands to her belt, slowly untying it.

"El-" she moved to stop him.

"Let me… please. I won't drop it."

Slowly, she lowered her hands from his and felt him slowly untie the knot, kissing her neck, tracing shapes with his tongue as he slowly unwrapped the belt. He stepped away and folded it just like he'd seen her do a million times and returned it to it's proper place, "See… just had to trust me with it," he smiled, and went back to her, "I don't suppose… you're up for another, uh… workout?" he smiled waggling his brows.

She laughed out loud, "You have too much energy for me… do you take a day off?"

"No… I had this dream about you and, uh… I woke up and you were right there and, well, I think that was a sign that you and I need to have a quickie before my meeting today."

She laughed again, "We need to?"

"I _need_ to," he whispered rubbing into her backside and hearing her try to hold in a moan, "but you _want_ too."

She knows what he's been doing, making love to her as much as possible, because the reality was, the eighth was just around the corner and she was starting to chicken out, "Um," she swallowed as he pulled the ties on either side of her gi jacket, "Uh…" he dipped his hands into the waistband of her canvas pants and lightly grazed her with his fingertips, "quickies are good."

He laughed, "You'll never be able to resist me, you know that don't you?"

She nodded, bracing herself against the dresser, "Seems that way, but just remember who is coming on to who, half of the time."

"You're always coming onto me," he whispered and grazed her again.

"El," she slowly withdrew his hand, "I know what your doing… and you don't have to."

"I'm trying to make love to you-"

"Elliot," she whispered and caressed his face, "come on, as much as we both enjoy making love to each other… we've never went at it like this-"

"So, I'm trying new things," he shrugged, "you said you wanted to loose wait. It's like four hundred calories every time."

She smiled, kissed him softly, "Whatever happens on the eighth… happens. I think it's gonna turn out okay, but if it doesn't we'll move on from there. You don't have to do this, El."

He blushed, "You're a really good detective, you know that?"

"I was trained by a really good detective… he swept me off of my feet."

He smiled, "Just for the record… I could make love to you everyday, three times a day and not be tired."

She laughed, wrapped her arms around his neck letting her hands fall limp, "Just for the record, if I made love to you that much… I'd only be able to walk every other week."

He laughed heartily and kissed her cheek, "I love you."

"I know… thank you for buying me new gi pants. I was confused when they fit."

"I didn't buy you new pants."

"Save it," she laughed, "your son sold you out."

Elliot blushed, "I know you like spending time with him and he was antsy about wanting to learn… I took him to the store and, you know, it's really amazing, he felt the different fabrics and picked the pair out… I looked at your old ones… they're the same."

She smiled, "He's an amazing kid."

"Yeah… but you," he kissed her again, "you are truly amazing."

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"This doesn't happen everyday does it?" Carp groaned.

"Getting cases? Or you tripping over your shoelaces like you did at lunch… tie them they're undone again. Why are you wearing sneakers and a suit?"

He grinned, "Case I have to chase a perpetrator."

She exhaled, "Does the precinct nurse have a spare inhaler for you?"

"Funny, Benson."

She tossed him a file, "I'm a regular comedian," she said deadpanned. "What do you got on the Luell case from this morning?"

"Blatant child abuse."

"Could you possibly be more vague?"

"Um… really bad child abuse?"

Olivia groaned, looked at the clock and exhaled, "What am I going to do with you?"

"How about respect me… just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm incapable."

"Then prove it to me," she arched her brows, "stop trying to be cute, and start getting involved in these cases. St-"

"Post-mortem."

"What?"

"The answer to your question yesterday. The victim was stabbed but the wounds produced no blood because the victim was stabbed after they were already dead. The heart beat had already stopped, thus there was no flow of blood."

She smirked, "Good."

"I'm not stupid. I might be a little odd," he said seriously, "and I may not know an eighth of what you know, but that doesn't mean I can't learn it. It's your job to teach me. So, if you want to spend the better part of the day acting as if I'm a disgrace to your time and knowledge then by all means go for it," he exhaled and opened the file, looking down and studying it, unconcerned with her presence.

"Are you challenging me, Carp?" she asked.

He looked up, tried to read her face but they'd only known each other for two days and he couldn't tell if she wanted to salute him or shoot him, "I'm telling you how I feel about the way your treating me."

"No… that's not it. What are you doing?" she asked again.

"I'm standing my ground. I'm young, I'm inexperienced but that doesn't give you a right to treat me like crap."

She smiled, "'Bout time… Geeze Carp, I thought I was gonna have to bring in pampers or something to get a rise out of you," she laughed then stopped suddenly when Cragen threw open his office door.

"Where the hell is Fin!"

"Right here Cap," he said waltzing into the bullpen with a haggard looking Mac behind him.

"What do you got?"

"Another nasty murder."

Mac tossed his jacket down on his chair, "That's, what… four in the past… I don't even know."

"Serial?" Olivia asked from her seat, "Interesting, Carp and I spent the day on a malnourishment."

"Trade ya." Fin quipped.

"There's no need!" Cragen grumbled loudly, "I got the brass shoved so far up my ass I can taste metal, all four of you are on this case, I don't care how long it takes, I don't care what it costs or if you guys sleep… get these damn murders solved!"

"Sir-"

"What Denum?" Cragen snapped.

"Um… it's Carp, sir."

"Carp." Cragen repeated and shook his head walking away and muttering, "Fin and Carp." He yelled over his shoulder, "This is a bullpen not a damn aquarium. Start working!"

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He stared at the calendar, at that bright red circle that was made tight and neat around the eighth of February. That damn red circle stalked them both. That circle that told them that she wanted to be with him so badly the way every wife would want to be with their husband. Un-inhibited. That circle that told him, if the eighth went bad, if she couldn't pull through it successfully, she'd never attempt it again. She'd never be whole and it would be his fault for not getting her through it. At least, to him, it would be his fault. The reality of the situation was that he was more inclined to let her go through life with this one blemish than to know that he wasn't enough to get her over it. That his love wasn't enough. His touch wasn't enough. He wasn't enough. Him.

_Selfish bastard_!

He closed his eyes, and exhaled. Next week was the eighth. In seven days it would February eighth. The eighth, was adorned with a small, tight circle that had more bearing on the way he made love to his wife than he ever wanted to think about.

It shouldn't be that way, having to think while you make love to the woman you'd give your soul for.

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Six days later, Olivia found herself in their house office looking down at Elliot sleep, "El, wake up." Olivia smiled kneeling next to his office chair, "Wake up, honey."

He was absolutely dead to the world with their Solomon securely in his arms, his case load strewn about the office, she pried their son out of his arms slowly and gently, grinned to see that he'd woken up as soon as she brought him close, "Hey," she whispered and walked him out of the office and into the nursery.

Solomon, figuring he was in his mother's arms and that food should have already followed, promptly began to fuss and nuzzle her breast. His tiny hand, reflexively slapping the clothing. He wanted his food and her shirt was hindering his goal. He cried harder.

"Alright, alright," Olivia laughed and quickly exposed herself in the darkness as she sat down and her son promptly latched on, "slow down, you'll drown yourself," she whispered and began to rock him. "How was you're day, Solo? Did you give Mrs. Reynoso and your daddy a hard time?" she asked as he kept his eyes locked with hers, his tiny hand on the exposed skin of her flesh as he greedily took sustenance from her.

"I don't like being away from you and your sister and the boys," Olivia confessed, "I like to be here with you so I can hold you and kiss you and make sure you're okay."

His jaw began to tense, "You can't be done, you just started… what, was this like a midnight snack?" she teased and positioned her pinky at his mouth still allowing him to suck, "you're not gonna bite me… I got you all figured out little man."

She sang gently over her son, rocked him soothingly and rubbed his leg as he fought sleep, she inserted her pinky between his gums until he released his hold on her body, "See," she whispered, putting him over her shoulder, "I got you all figured out." She burped him, laid him gently in his crib and returned to her husband whose sleeping body hadn't shifted. His arms holding an imaginary baby as he breathed out steadily. He was scruffy. Last week he'd opted to not have his hair cut, citing no particular reason. The same was true of the makings of a goatee he let form.

She moved to wake him but her eyes drew her to the calendar on the wall. That damn red circle. Tomorrow. She exhaled, and closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, her husband was staring up at her, "Hey," he whispered groggily, "good to have you home."

She smiled as he took her into his lap and kissed her cheek, "What time is it?"

"It's late," she whispered and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Bad day?"

"Carp is irritating… but, he has a backbone."

"Well," Elliot said playfully, "most fish have a lot of bones.'

She chuckled softly and exhaled, "How are my boys and Hannah? I hate being away from them like this, but it's one case after another and Cragen is about to have a stroke."

He kissed the top of her head and smiled, "Sam and Isaac ask about you frequently, Crystal was here today and Sam was teaching her some submission holds… she's really into it."

Olivia smiled, "She's really good for Sam, I'm glad they're friends."

"You realize they're gonna get married, right?" Elliot laughed.

She groaned, "I refuse to think about him getting married for at least another twelve or twenty years," she yawned and snuggled closer, "he's my little boy… Isaac?"

"He surprised me with a headstand against the wall."

"Really?" She grinned, "When?"

"The other day… I left his little footprints to show you."

She kissed the underside of his chin softly, "Thank you… the babies?"

"What I've realized about those two is that Solomon couldn't care less how he's fed, bottle or breast, just so long as milk is the reward. Hannah on the other hand, is so stubborn with the bottle."

Olivia laughed, "I just don't think she likes to eat very much, 'cause you see how she rejects me."

He exhaled, pulled her tighter and whispered, "I miss you. I haven't even been able to take you out to celebrate your promotion."

She rubbed her hand over his chest, "It's okay, I really don't need it. I just… I miss you guys."

Elliot grinned, tickled her playfully, "You're become domesticated."

She laughed aloud, kissed him playfully, "Wouldn't have it any other way… I love you guys."

He leaned in, grazed her lips with his, "We love you too."

Several minutes of silence flooded over them as he held his wife over his lap and stroked her arm gently as he rocked almost imperceptibly in the chair, "Liv," he finally said.

"Yeah?" she answered groggily.

"Tomorrows the eighth."

She blew out a breath sending her bangs up to tickle his chin, "I-I know."

"You nervous?"

"I don't want to send the kids to a sitter… I haven't really been able to do anything with them since I've been back to work… we've got five now, five deaths and El, I've got to tell you that they are the most brutal and disgusting things I've seen."

"Five? One more already? Think their connected?"

She shrugged, shaking her head, "There's no pattern, El, at least nothing that we're seeing right now. Melinda said she found something that's consistent in all of them… she's bringing the report in on Monday."

"Why didn't she just tell you guys?"

"Tests… she's got to run them, but she told us, no DNA no hairs, no samples... they've got to be related," she yawned again, " Fine said there was a note in the first vic's anal cavity and some sort of mechanism in another vic's breast, but we just don't see a pattern, or a reason… I don't know. But, Cragen gave us the weekend off, since we've got nothing to go on, we're on call."

Slowly, he slid his hand under her shirt and stroked her belly, "I have an idea."

She chuckled, "I think I'm too tired for your idea."

He laughed, "Actually, I wasn't thinking about that. How about, tomorrow, it's me and you all day, and Sunday we'll take the kids out and we'll have a blast, just the six of us."

She smiled looking at him and kissed his mouth, "I love you."

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Her panting was labored, but she did everything she could to block the blows that were coming at her. One after one, a kick a punch. Her body glistened with sweat and her calves burned with the constant shuffling of her feet and in a moment of exhaustion she lowered her hand and was promptly knocked to the mat with a thud.

"You're tired," Ricky laughed, helping her to her feet.

She grinned as he helped her up, "Well… I did recently give birth to two babies."

He laughed, "Hope they don't move as slow as you do."

"Slow?" she arched her brows, "How dare you."

"Come on, Olivia… do something to me, you haven't gotten a good lick i-" with a repeat roundhouse, first to the gut then the head, Olivia effectively cut him off and laid him out.

"What were you saying?" she taunted over him, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you."

He groaned standing to his feet, "Man, I have to talk a lot of crap to get you to do anything… who you looking to kill today?"

She laughed, "No one… I just… today is gonna be intense for me and I wanted to get some frustration and angst out."

"So you call me up at four a.m. and use me as a coping device?" he smiled resting against the ropes, "Nice to know things don't change."

She laughed, "Don't think of it as me using you. Think of it as you assisting a friend in need."

He used his teeth to undo the Velcro of his sparring gloves, "What's on your mind?"

She exhaled, "Nothing… I just... its sort, well, don't take this the wrong way, but it's really personal."

He nodded in agreement, "Relationship trouble?"

"No," she shrugged, "we're just… getting ready for something… different, I guess you could say, and I'm not sure I'm ready."

He smirked, "You're never ready."

"What?"

He shrugged, "When you're scared… you're never ready. Olivia, I've known you for years. It's time to stop being afraid of the demons of your past-"

Defensively she snapped, "What do you know about my past?"

He smiled apologetically, "Olivia… I read the papers-"

"I know… everyone has," she muttered in disgust. "Believe me, I go out and I get these stupid stares and curious glances. People point, want to see my kids… believe me, everyone reads the papers."

He exhaled, "I read the court transcripts too."

"What?" she narrowed her brows, "Why?"

He wiped his face with a sports towel and exhaled, "You we're under fire. They we're crucifying you before knowing the facts… I wanted to know the facts. I wanted to know that my good friend, was still as good a woman as I've always known her to be… the things that happened to you… their not your fault. There's no need to be afraid of them anymore."

"It's not that easy," she whispered and looked away.

"Isn't it?" he asked. "You've got beautiful kids and a husband who loves you… you shouldn't be here on your day off, beating me to a pulp because your past haunts you. You should be at home having great morning sex with-"

She laughed out loud.

He smiled, "You should be having great morning sex with your husband and you should be wiping snotty noses and cleaning poopie diapers, because it's the future and your family that are waiting for you now… you owe it to them to be a whole woman, Olivia… let go of all of that other stuff. I know its hard… but let go."

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Olivia was surprised to see Elliot sitting on the couch, elbows in his knees. Frantic.

"El?"

He stood up in anger and concern and relief. Mostly relief, "Where have you been?"

She furrowed her brows, "I hoped I'd be back-"

"Where?" he asked again and quickly closed the gap between them, cupping her face and taking her into an urgent kiss. He stepped closer to her as she rested her hands on his forearms. She was confused. The intensity of the kiss, the nerves in his voice. She had to tare away for breath.

"El… Elliot," she panted, "why are you mad?"

He kissed her again, short, desperate kisses about her lips and cheeks, "Not mad… just worried. I woke up and you were nowhere."

She pulled back softly, and lowered his hands to her waist. His eyes were so stormy, and it dawned on her, he thought she left. He thought she must have had some mental crisis about today and took off, "Look at me… look at me," she whispered and smiled softly when he did. "I'm right here… I went to the gym, I left you a note on your nightstand, didn't you read it?"

He furrowed his brows in thought and went back to the room as she followed. He motioned to the nightstand, "No note."

She looked around, "El, I left it… its right here," she smiled and picked it up from the floor just under the bed, "it must have flown off. I turned the heater on for you guys when I left, it must have flown off when the heater kicked on… I'm sorry to scare you like that, but don't you know that… I'm committed to today? I want to do this… I wouldn't run."

He exhaled, took her into a hug and brought her even tighter to him, "I'm sorry… I, didn't mean to over react. Alex came for the babies and then Casey called and asked if Alex could take them all, that she couldn't, and Alex came _back_ for the boys and you still weren't here… I was gonna pass out."

She chuckled and kissed him, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, can I make it up to you?"

"No need… actually, I have a lot planned for you today."

"Really? Like what?"

"Well… I thought you might want to take a bath this morning, while I make you breakfast… or we could go out for breakfast, then, well… there's other stuff, but, I'm not tellin'."

She smiled devilishly, "How about, you take a shower with me, and we go out for breakfast and then I'm up for whatever else you have up your sleeve."

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"Was Sam bothered with having to go to Alex's? He was wanting to spend time with Casey."

"Nope.. I tricked him into it like a good father would," Elliot laughed digging his fork into his omelet.

"How's that?" Olivia smiled, sliding her feet under the table to lock her ankles around one of his as she loaded her pancakes with syrup.

"I told him that Alex had huge news to tell him, and that she was gonna need his help with some stuff around the house and the babies… I think it made him feel like he was helping her. I told him he was to report back to us any sad voices… but uh, I think with her being pregnant she's probably all smiles… I think it made him feel like he was protecting her, you know? Keeping an ear out for her."

Olivia grinned, "Man… it's so amazing, but, you know, he's exactly like you."

Elliot beamed, "I know. I love to see it. I love that little boy. Liv… thank you for opening our home to him."

She rubbed the back of his calve with her foot, "He's our son… he's not going anywhere… and Isaac? Was he irate that he didn't et to see me?"

"Furious actually."

"Really," She grinned.

"Yeup… didn't want to go. Refused. Called, or I guess I should say, screeched, for his mother."

She giggled, "Poor guy… how'd you get him to go?"

"Sam told him he'd give him a tootsie pop and of course he reminded him that Addison would be there because Casey wasn't feeling well and that they were going to watch a lot of cartoons."

Olivia feigned insult, "Gave up on me pretty quick, and with such a simple bribe. I'll have to talk to that monkey… the babies?"

"Alex, took them. I think she wants practice with the whole infant thing… you should see her, Liv… she's glowing and she's actually starting to show."

"Already? Uggh, I need to make time for them… wow, she has our kids and Addison? She really wants experience, huh? She's already showing?"

"Roberts a big guy… might be a huge baby, besides, their both teachers, they have kids all day long."

Olivia smiled and rested back in her seat. Happy.

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Truly he had packed her day with endless tasks from a game of chess in the park, an activity that Sam had taught them to appreciate, to an amazingly large slice of pizza they shared as they walked through the city, but, truly it was the conversation that was simply about them as they skated slowly around the ice rink that she'd most enjoyed. No talk of children, not that she minded talk of the kids, but there was always something about talking to one another as if they were the only two that existed. Elliot and Olivia.

As she stretched her body the length of the couch and snuggled close to him she smiled, "I had a lot of fun today… you put a lot of thought into it. Thank you."

He smiled, kissed the crown of her head, "I just wanted to tell you, thank you for making grade one, and I know your schedule is grueling right now, and I know your missing me and the kids like crazy, but it'll smoothen out."

She caressed his face, "You growin' a beard Mr. Stabler?"

He grinned, "Not a beard… just thought, I don't know," he shrugged, "I thought- I just want to give you everything you want, everything you like."

She smiled and ran her hand along his hairline, "That explains not wanting the hair cut, huh?"

"I know you like it… I want," he exhaled, "I want it to be easy for you tonight, Liv. I'll do what ever you want, I'll give you whatever you want… just tell me."

She watched him for a moment. Watched the boldness and fear and compassion swim in his eyes and she knew he'd always been about her. He loved her, wanted what was best for her and for them and their family. Softly, almost timidly she leaned in and kissed him tenderly on the mouth standing to her feet and helping him up so their lips kept contact.

He rested his hands on her waist, tentatively slid them down to her hips and deepened the kiss. He felt her flinch, went to move back but she simply cupped his head and pulled him back to her kissing him and unbuttoning his shirt, sliding it off of his shoulders and smiling, "You've been hitting the precinct gym?"

He smiled, "Yeah… I'm a pencil pusher, Liv… I got time to kill."

She ran her hands over his chest. Along his abdomen and worked slowly on his belt as she kissed the length of his neck. Heard him moan. "What?" she whispered, pulling back, "what's wrong?"

He grinned, "Nothing… I really like it when you do that."

She nodded, "You mean this?" she asked as she kissed his neck again, sucked softly along his pulse as she unzipped his pants and let them fall to the floor.

"Yeah," he stumbled back to support himself on the couch, "like that." He pushed back off of the couch and smirked, "You have entirely too many clothes on… want me to help you with them?"

She offered a half smile and simply turned around and headed to the kitchen. He furrowed his brows and went after her, "You keep walking away," he whispered snaking his arms around her middle and kissing the back of her neck, "but… you do it so slow. I know you want me."

She grinned and turned around to face him, "Elliot… um, so, the kitchen table… is that really real wood?"

He arched his brow, "Cherry wood… cost a fortune, but uh… are you asking me to make love to you on the table?"

She played innocent, "No, not really. I was just asking."

He smiled, pinned her against the counter with his body and kissed her as he removed her shirt from her body, letting it fall to the countertop behind her. He slipped his hands inside of her jeans as soon as he unbuckled them and groaned as he cupped her bottom, "I love this, have I told you that? I love this perfect little derriere."

She chuckled, "I don't know about little anym-"

"You look amazing," he cut her off and kissed her softly, skimming his hands up and releasing her bra.

"El?" she broke the kiss licking her lips.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing… I just… will you make love to me, first… without the whole hips thing? I just… I want-if it goes bad-I just…I want something to remember that it wasn't _all_ bad."

He grinned, dropped her pants and kissed her long and hard and as deep as possible. He didn't want her brother or father in that room, or in her thoughts, or in their bed. He wanted his wife, he wanted this woman that he loved with all he had, to just be his wife. Unreserved. Confidant. Powerful. Whole. Olivia.

She raised one leg over his hip and he eagerly brought her other leg up so that they locked behind him, he navigated their clothes carefully as he tried to walk her back to the bedroom, she moaned into his mouth and pulled away, "Right here."

He raised his brows in surprise, "Um, I don't think I can hold you and make lov-"

She kissed him again, nipped at his lip, "You don't think I really asked about the table, just because. Do you?"

His jaw went slack and he immediately took the few steps and sat her on the table, kissing her as he lowered her and swept the nearly empty plates of cherry cheese cake to the other end. There was something rushed about it, and it didn't bother either of them. No foreplay or oral pleasure save their mouths grinding against one another's… and they were fine with that.

She laced her hands with his, widened the cradle of her hips and kept his gaze as he pushed slowly into her and went perfectly still. Suddenly slowing every movement he made, his kiss, his caress, his moving stare, "You're perfect," he whispered and bent to kiss her breast, still keeping his hips still. He felt the frustration in her body of him not moving, felt her pelvis raise up to meet him.

"Move… please move."

"No… just like this," he whispered over her lips. "Close your eyes baby."

She closed her eyes, relinquished his hands to hold onto his bicep as he cradled her in his arms and kissed her forehead, feather kisses over her eyelids. A gentle nuzzle of her nose with his, before he slowly crossed his tongue into her mouth, not allowing his lips to meet hers. He coaxed her tongue out and ran soft circles around it as his hips started to move in figure eights.

She moaned, arched her head back, keeping her eyes closed. He reached beyond her, to the cherry glaze on a plate and swiped his finger through it, then traced her lips with the same finger and began to kiss her before she could open her eyes. He traced the cherry on her lip with his tongue and slipped into her mouth, she moaned and pulled him tighter into her with her legs. He was about to come, but didn't know if that would scare her tonight, if it would some how bother her. Quickly, he reached between them and stroked her, caressed her and broke her, watching as bolted straight up on their kitchen table, hugging him tight with both legs and arms as her orgasm surged through her.

He stroked her back for several moments, kissed her temple and slowly withdrew his body from her, "Wait. El… aren't you-don't you… you didn't-"

He grinned and helped her off of the table. "Go get the bed ready and I'll clean up in here."

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He stood naked at the door of their room and watched his wife stare at the sex furniture as if it were a perp. She folded her arms over her naked chest and stared at it as the piece of foam lay in the middle of the bed. She was shaking but he didn't know if that was from her moment of passion or if she was terrified of this. If she was having second thoughts.

He walked to her, his erection soft since washing the two plates, naked, and putting food into a cold refrigerator and disinfecting the table, "Is it breathing?" he teased gently.

She smirked, "No… it's just… there."

"We don't hav-"

"Yes…I want to," she assured him quickly, "I want to try this. I'm good. I can do this, right?"

He smiled, cupped her cheek and kissed her, "Right… tell me what you want me to do."

She exhaled and stared back at it, "The Liberator Wedge," she said slowly, "Not to sure about _The Wedge_."

"Vivian and I talked about it," he confessed.

She looked at him with raised brows, "Really?"

"Yeah, after you brought it home and you and I looked it up on the internet… you seemed nervous about it, and I for one didn't know what on earth to do with it, so… I asked her and she said just what you told me last time, you lay on it, it will give you the same position but you don't have to worry about my hands."

She exhaled, nodded softly, "Okay… um… I guess-I guess it's time then, huh?"

"Yeah, it's time."

They both continued to stare at the offending object, "It's blue," she said softly, "I guess… I guess that's good, better than black."

He furrowed his brow, "We have black sheets and a comforter, I thought you liked them?"

She bit her bottom lip, continued to stare at the cushion, "They smell like you. They're safe to me, but… well, blue is good."

He moved behind her, wrapped his arms around her and fought like crazy not to let himself get aroused, "Whenever you're ready, baby, just let me know," he whispered and went to release her.

"Don't let go… please?" she whispered and held his hands in place. He embraced her again and waited with her, waited as she stared at the blue, lifeless object as if it were everything. And he knew that in that moment, that blue cushion really was everything. It stood between who she was and what she wanted. It consumed her, stalked her and taunted her all at once.

Elliot watched the clock, they'd been standing still, him holding her for six minutes and thirty-six seconds before she finally took a hesitant step and then another and kneeled on the bed. She laid next to it, guiding him over her body and timidly kissing him, as she cupped him gently and stroked him. He broke away from the kiss, dropped his cheek next to hers and panted, hissing as she dragged her fingertip along his hardening length, "Liv," he groaned, "Liv, we're suppose to be on this thing."

She cupped the back of his head and kissed his chin, "Please… not until-not until we have to."

He nodded and lowered himself closer to her body, rubbing himself into her heat. She surprised him with a smile and deep moan as he brought his lips over her neck, her collar bone, the taut skin of the middle of her breast and still further down, kissing and licking, until he went back up, intentionally letting his scruffy face caress her skin.

He spent careful minute after careful minute paying attention to her body, the scars that bore their children, the scars that told a sordid past and the scar that Sam had inadvertently stamped his mother with. The rise of her nipple, the curve of her breasts and waist, the dip of her belly button, the definition of her legs, she was perfect.

"Okay," she whispered, suddenly.

"Okay? No more?"

"No… I mean… I-I think I'm ready."

"Okay," he kissed her lips and kneeled back helping her rise so he could slip the cushion under her hips, "you okay?"

She swallowed hard and nodded, "Yeah… feels, funny. Weird."

He smirked, "What? You never figured us for the sex furniture type?"

She laughed, and she was so happy her made her laugh, because the truth of the matter was she wanted off of that cushion and out of that bed, "Okay… um, I guess, its show time, huh?"

He crawled over her gently and kneeled so his knees were flush with the cushion, her legs draped over his thighs. Her hips angled up, "Just tell, me what you want. If you don't want me to touch you, I wont… just tell me."

She nodded, "I'm ready."

He braced himself on his forearms on either side of her head, and gently started to push into her only to realize his erection wasn't gonna hold. He was so nervous about this. About triggering something within her. He didn't even know how she'd been touched that night in her apartment. What if he did the wrong thing?

"It's okay," she whispered and reached between them, stroking him, "I'm scared too."

He exhaled in relief that she understood it wasn't about want, it was simply about him being nervous too. He remembered her moans on the kitchen table, her body on the love seat only days ago. That time in the dressing room. With her hands and his thoughts he slid slowly into her, locking his gaze with hers.

She was starting to panic.

"Stay with me, Liv. It's me. It's Elliot, and I love you so much. I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm going to make love to you. I'm going to be soft and tender and you'll know a different way tonight… I love you."

Slowly, she exhaled and let him move within her. One thrust down and then a sudden, "Wait!"

He stilled instantly, "Okay… okay. Do you want to stop?"

"No… it's um… Vivian wanted us to write about this-"

"I know," he chuckled softly. "You really think of things at the most inopportune times… I intend too. Do you?"

She swallowed, "Yeah… yeah, I want you to know."

Softly, he smiled, "Okay… do you want me to move?"

She nodded and he moved gently out and then back in. Her breathing stopped for a moment. That moment when she felt him at that certain specific angle that wanted to make her vomit. She swallowed hard. Forced her self to exhale and then surprised him when she reached for his hands and placed them hesitantly about her hips, "It-It's okay."

He thrust into her, bending his neck low to suck on the skin of her belly button, kissing here and there and then suddenly he stopped. What if Oliver had done that to her, in some sick perverted attempt at making the attack intimate? He stopped kissing her but continued to thrust as he gripped her hips.

She turned her gaze from him, looking at the wall as he moved over her, kneading the flesh of her hips as he moved deeper.

_I don't want to come like this. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. What number is he on? Is this one? No it's three, no what happened to two? Why did he stop kissing me? I'm gonna come, this is too mu- _

"Stop thinking," he whispered and plummeted into her again, "just feel."

_I do feel and it's so confusing. I see your face. I feel his hands. And this thing under me isn't working. Please, El. Help me get over this. I'll do anything for you-_

"You're still thinking," he whispered, "just be. Just be Olivia, its okay if you come," he whispered. "Look at me baby, it's just you and me. Look at me. Stay here with me," he encouraged her still moving inside of her.

He waited until she finally brought her eyes back to him. Scared doe eyes. Out of nowhere he remembered that hunting trip he'd went on when he was on leave from the military. He was only eighteen, fresh out of boot and he'd killed a dear, only it wasn't exactly dead when he kneeled next to it. It was starring at him, with scared doe eyes. Olivia's eyes. He felt himself start to soften and immediately pushed the thought aside, this was about her tonight. He needed to get her through this as much as possible, he spurred his body on with thoughts of the first time he'd made love to her, that feeling the first time he'd seen her naked.

Gently, he kissed her lips, "It's okay. I can feel that you want to come and it's okay."

Her legs hesitantly tightened around him as he moved out and then in again, slightly faster, slightly harder, willing to push the envelope for her freedom. She groaned, arched her head back and whimpered, before suddenly grabbing his shoulders, "No-no more, I can't."

"Okay… okay, no more," he whispered and started to withdraw.

"No. No, that's not what I'm talking about… I just- El, I've thought about this so long, and this stupid cushion isn't-it feels weird, and I-I want _your_ hands El… I-I want to feel as much of you as possible… so I know it's you. Please? We can figure out the cushion later, but… I want to know it's you."

He nodded, relieved that she didn't want to stop. His body was throbbing and the fact that she was still willing to fight through this was even more of a turn on, "Okay," he whispered and helped her discard the cushion from their bed. She scooted closer to him, locked her ankles around him and gave him a small nod.

She felt it, and then understood why they were supposed to use the cushion. The small of her back left the mattress and she instantly gasped, feeling him inside of her, feeling his hands about her hips, "Look at me… its Elliot. I'm your husband. I'm making love to you. There's no one else here, no one else is touching your body except me."

She nodded and he began to move again, she whimpered, running her hand along his forearm as he moved her body deeper over his. She felt him slide against her walls, felt his tip move at a different angle as his hands held tightly to her body.

_The things that happened to you… they're not your fault. There's no need to be afraid of them anymore._

He felt her body suddenly tense, "El?" she panted, reaching alongside of her body and stroking his thighs.

He looked at her. She was giving him a completely different look, determination, desire. _Want_.

_You're out of your mind with fear and you still want me? Liv, you have no idea what that does to me. Win this Liv, you've got to._

"Come with me, Elliot?" she asked as he brought her hips up again and held her body in that position. He could feel her begin to quiver.

"Are you sure, you want that?"

She nodded and surprised him when she gave him a small thrust of her own hips as assurance. He moved her away and then back up into him again. He wrapped one arm completely under her, keeping her hips off of the mattress and over his thighs and he moved faster, grunting at the work of moving his body and hers at the same time. He felt her muscles start to tighten and he instantly stroked her core.

Immediately, her legs tightened around him, she hissed and arched the small of her back even higher so only her shoulders touched. She gripped his body within her as he continued to move, and she suddenly released a guttural groan, so intense it reminded him of her giving birth to Solomon. That exhaustion, determination and happiness. _Satisfaction_.

It was her whimpers, and pulsating muscles that caused him to break, even as she continued to hold the arch in her back. He groaned out his release, wanting to be as quiet as possible so she could feel every sensation of her own orgasm, every deliciously aching muscle and sweaty limb.

He moved accidentally, too tired to keep their position, and he grinned as she whimpered and came softly once more. Eyes closed, her hands balling the sheets into tight fists, until she had nothing left and her body slowly rested back on the mattress, her legs untangling from him because she simply didn't have the strength to keep them locked.

He continued to kneel in front of her, stoking her legs and waiting for her to open her eyes. After several seconds of her keeping them closed, "Liv, open your eyes. Look at me," he whispered and hovered his body over hers, "show me your eyes."

Slowly, she opened her eyes and blinked out a stream of tears as she reached up to frame his face with her hands. She stared at him as her tears fell freely from her eyes, down her temples and into her hair. She traced his hair line with one hand, his lips with the thumb of her other and rose up softly, kissing him gently on the mouth and offered a whispered, "Thank you."

The sob that came out of him shocked him as he pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her body and cried against her. Three years of wanting to see your wife become a whole creature, five years of trying to discover who she truly was and even more years of knowing her and falling in love with her had all led up to this point where he held his wife and sobbed into her neck, her own tears falling from her face and streaming down his back as they held tight to one another.

She closed her eyes, held fiercely to him and wrapped her legs around him again, she felt his tears stream down her neck and breast and they only served to make her cry more. Decades of wanting to be a whole person. Years of loving this man that was in her arms, three years of wanting to give her self completely to him. It had all come down to this day, where she had just, for the first time, become whole. And as he continued to hold her, continued to cry with her in celebration of what they'd just overcome, she felt something amazing, she felt something she'd never truly felt before.

She felt comfortable in her own skin.

She felt… pure.

Beautiful.

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"Your shaking," Elliot whispered nearly two hours after they had pulled one another through her greatest fear.

She smiled, snuggled closer to him and remained silent for several seconds, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something… and have you be completely honest with me?"

That's never a good set up to a question. Was she starting to have second thoughts about what happened between them? "Sure, I'll be honest."

"Do you think… do you think that, um, I'm weird for, uh… coming… in the same position that he, uh… had… me in?"

He held her tightly, "No… I think you're beautiful for being able to distinguish between the two, I think your amazing for being able to fight through this. You won tonight, Liv… let him go, let him go, baby."

She looked up at him and grinned, "Thank you… I really-I feel… I'm not trying to sound haughty, but I feel… beautiful. I feel, whole and complete and El, for the first time in my life... I feel normal."

He smiled, kissed her tenderly and wrapped his leg around her, "To me, you've always been beautiful, you've always been normal… but you've never been whole, not until tonight. Thank you for letting me help you through it, for letting me be the one to walk along side of you."

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"Mom, can we get chocolate? It's kind of cold," Sam asked as Olivia helped him out of the SUV.

"Sure," she smiled, "but I want you to take your jacket an-" she furrowed her brows when Sam stepped out and groaned, falling to his knees.

"Sam?" Elliot looked over Isaac's car seat and through the opposite side of the car, "You okay?"

Quickly, he stood, "Y-yeah."

"Didn't sound too convincing," Olivia told him as she outfitted herself with a baby vest and tossed the other to Elliot. Three years ago, she was outfitting herself with bullet proof vests and tossing the spare to Elliot. Certainly her life had taken a change she didn't foresee, but that she wouldn't change for the world.

Sam smiled and walked away, sitting on the rear bumper of the car, "You tired, son?" Elliot asked helping Olivia nestle Solomon into the vest and cover him with a blanket.

"No… just. I'm fine."

"Sam Sam owie!" Isaac screeched jumping off of the curb and pointing to him, "Owie!"

"Sam, what's wrong?" Elliot asked as Olivia carefully placed Hannah in Elliot's vest and quickly covered her with a soft pink blanket. Olivia smiled. Pink.

"N-nothing… maybe you guys can go walking and I'll stay in the car?"

"What?" Olivia shook her head, "No, son… I want to spend time with you too today, I don't get to do that with my schedule and I want to. I've missed you," she said, kneeling carefully next to him and stroking his face, "Oh, baby… why are you crying?"

"I don't like for you to be gone so much," he said softly, "I don't like it. Not one bit."

"I know," she whispered, "I don't either, that's why we've got the whole day planned to spend time together,… don't you want to come and be with all of us?"

"Yeah, but…" he bowed his head.

She tipped it back up, leaned in, carefully of Solomon and kissed his cheek, "What's wrong? You were happy in church this morning and you're so sad right now."

"I won't be Alex's friend anymore."

She furrowed her brow as Isaac reached for his father to lift him, "Why do you say that?"

"'Cause… she told me and Isaac that she's gonna have a baby."

Olivia smiled, "Honey, that's right, she is gonna have a baby, but she loves you so much… I'm sure she'll want you to help with the baby just like Casey did with Addison… Casey had Addison and your still her friend, right?"

"Yeah."

"And Isaac came home and you were still my boy, right?"

He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and sniffled, "Yeah."

"And I had Hannah and Solomon and you're still my son right?"

He smiled, "Yeah."

"Then?"

"She'll still want to hang out with me?"

Olivia grinned, "I'm pretty sure she will… come on, lets go get some chocolate."

He took hold of her hand and stumbled and hissed on his first step before simply sitting on the ground, "Son… what's wrong?" she asked more firmly and helped him back to the bumper, "I need you to tell me, now."

"Sam Sam, Owie!" Isaac pointed at him, "Kiss it mama! Make bedder."

"Are you hurt, Sam?" Elliot asked kneeling down next to him and adjusting Hannah's blanket as she slept.

"No!"

"Fibbies!" Isaac sold him out in a heart beat and wiggled out of his fathers arm to promptly smash his little foot over Sam's slightly larger one.

Sam groaned, "Isaac!"

"Isaac!" Elliot and Olivia called in unison, while Elliot finished the scolding, "You do not do that!"

"Saac!" Isaac laughed.

"Say you're sorry." Olivia instructed.

Isaac stepped closer to his brother, "Sowry." Sam continued to hang his head and Isaac quickly grew irritated. "Sam Sam! Lookit me!" he squirmed, "I sowry." Sam furrowed his brow and didn't turn to him which only angered the youngster even more, "LOOKIT ME!" he demanded.

"I told you!" Sam snapped and yelled in anger, as he gripped the toddler by his shoulders "I told you five billion times, I CAN"T LOOK AT YOU, DUMMIE!"

"Sam!" Olivia broke them apart quickly, "Sam… we understand that you're angry but that doesn't give you a right to name call… what is bothering you? What has you this angry?"

Isaac began to cry, "No lookit me."

Sam groaned slapping his hands over his face, "Mom," he said in exasperation, "he doesn't get it."

"He's just a baby," Elliot reminded him, "he doesn't know."

"He should!" Sam yelled, "Everyone loves him! And Alex isn't… gonna love me,"

"Sam-" Olivia interjected softly.

"It's true," he screeched, "he came with me when he was supposed to go to Casey's and Robert let him play with my chess board, and Alex let him listen to my CD's and she let him cook with us. They're my friends! They're supposed to love _me_, not _him_!"

Isaac wormed his way back to his brother and framed his face with gloved hands, "I luv eww Sam Sam!"

Sam hiccupped, tried to take a breath and cried instead, "They're my friends, mom."

"Honey," Olivia whispered and smiled, "They're all of our friends, and in different ways. Alex and Robert love you very very much, and just because Robert let Isaac play with your chess board doesn't mean he loves you any less… we all love you honey."

"Owie!" Isaac said pointing to his brother again.

"Isaac!" Sam shrieked in frustration, "Shut it!"

Olivia followed Isaac's point, "Sam… is your foot bothering you?"

"No!" he cried harder and slipped off of the bumper to sit on the ground, his head in his hands. People were starring at the two parents with four kids, one of which they most likely assumed was throwing a tantrum because he didn't get a toy. Spank him, get it over with, was what the onlookers probably thought. But if only they knew, that Sam was in turmoil, not over the loss of a toy, but over the perceived loss of love. Love that he'd worked so hard to believe in.

"Shoozies!" Isaac said again and pulled Sam's face to look at him, "Lookit me, Sam Sam!"

Sam's anger was getting the best of him. Olivia watched his lips move as he counted to himself. Anger Management for kids, count out the characters of your favorite cartoon.

Irritated and exhausted of the situation, but still with understanding, Elliot moved closer, "Alright boys, we're gonna settle this right now, do you understand?" he asked holding one of their hands in his.

"Dad-"

Elliot squeezed his hands, "Yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Isaac?" Elliot arched his brow at the toddler and gave a wink of his eye.

Isaac smiled, "Yay!"

"Isaac, ask Sam to look at you."

"Lookit me, Sam Sam." Immediately Elliot raised Sam's hand to Isaac's face, "This is how Sam does lookit."

Isaac furrowed his brow in confusion, "Na uh."

"Yeah hu," Elliot countered quickly, "Ask him again and he'll show you."

"Lookit me, Sam Sam."

Hesitantly Sam reached for his brother's face and gently touched him, "I see you."

Isaac gasp, his little mouth a perfect 'o', his bright eyes wide in marvel. He smiled, "See me?"

Sam sniffled, "See you… I'm sorry, Isaac. I didn't mean to make you cry, brother."

Isaac laughed and scurried up back into his father's arms, he'd gotten what he wanted. For his big brother to see him, he couldn't care less about all the other stuff, "Cocoa!" Isaac grinned and peeked under the blanket at Hannah, "Nana Cocoa?"

"No," Olivia smiled, "Nana's too young… let her sleep a little more, come on Sam."

"I can't," he whispered, "it hurts me."

She kneeled back down, "What does? Your foot?"

"Yeah, I tried to save my money but I don't think I have enough, but they hurt me."

She furrowed her brows at him, looked up to see that Elliot was just as confused, "Save your money for what?"

"Shoes," he whispered, "But… one day they didn't hurt and I spent my allowance to buy the Andrea Bocceli CD and then the next day, they hurt and now they hurt me really bad."

"Owies!" Isaac pointed again.

Olivia gently untied his shoelace and winced at the splotches of blood that seeped through his white socks, "Oh, honey… why didn't you say something?"

""Cause shoes are very expensive, I heard you say that when you bought me them,"

"Honey, that was a really long time ago… people grow out of their shoes and that's okay, all you have to do it tell us, baby… how long have your feet hurt?"

"Maybe, maybe a few days but this morning they burned super bad."

Elliot winced, looking down at his son's feet, "Oh, Sam, son… we'll get you new shoes, you just… Son, you have a blister on every toe and they've ripped open."

"They hurt," he whispered, "and now my foot is cold."

"Okay," Olivia unlaced his shoe completely, making it as loose as possible and gently put it back on his foot, unlacing the other and ensuring it was loose as well, "Trade me," Olivia said and took Isaac into her arms, "the shoe shop is one block up and two blocks from the café, can you carry him and the baby? Or do you want to load'em up and fight for parking again?"

Elliot smiled, "Sam, you up for a piggy back ride?"

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"Are these Addidas too?" Sam asked before taking a sip of his chocolate, "I liked the other ones."

"Yep, and Isaac has a pair too," Elliot smiled, "got to love the sales, my boy."

Sam laughed, "That's what mom says."

Elliot smiled, wrapped his arms around Olivia's shoulder and kissed her cheek, "That's because your mom is the most amazing and beautiful woman in the world."

Hannah began to fuss and Elliot promptly took her out of the vest and held her close, "And your sister is the second most amazing and beautiful woman in the world."

"And Crystal is third, and Alex is fourth and Casey is fifth," Sam said before taking another drink of chocolate, "Mmm, cherry… ohh, Chloe, she's sixth."

Olivia grinned and Hannah began to fuss more, "If you change her, I'll feed her," Olivia offered.

"Deal," Elliot smiled and took a diaper bag with him to the café's restroom.

"Lookit me!" Isaac laughed, testing out this new found principal… for the twentieth time.

Sam rolled his eyes and reached out to touch his face, "I see you… again."

Isaac laughed, "Lookit Olo!"

Sam groaned and reached across to his mother, feeling along the carrier before touching his littlest brother and smiling, "I see him."

"Mama!" Isaac reached for her chocolate, "Pweeeze?" She laughed, poured some into a smaller cup that contained one ice cube and blew on it until it was lukewarm and Isaac was dying in anticipation.

Elliot adjusted Hannah and made his way through the café, stopping to watch his wife cup her hand under Isaac's mouth and help him sip from the cup, "Yep," she smiled at their son, "that's all you need monkey, is more sugar."

He laughed to himself and sidestepped a woman as she rose from her table. He looked past her and stared in shock and horror at the man watching his family from the window.


	44. Chapter 44 Poetic Psycho

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 44 Poetic Psycho

"Al!" Isaac pointed to the door as Olivia let Alex inside of their home, a warm embrace before taking her jacket.

"Wow!" Olivia grinned looking down at the tiny swell of Alex's semi-flat belly, "Only two months and you already have a bump."

Alex chuckled rubbing her belly, "He's gonna be huge, I was talking to Robert's mom last night and she was telling me how big Robert was… I'm in trouble."

"Come on in… looks like Isaac wants to play with you."

Alex laughed when Isaac ran to her and held tightly to her leg as he looked up, "Hi."

"Hi," she grinned and picked him up as they made their way to the living room, "Where's the rest of your brothers and sister?"

"Sam Sam, sad," Isaac jetted out his bottom lip as he pointed to the boys room, "Nana sweepies. Olo umpie."

"Umpie?" she looked at Olivia for clarification.

"Grumpy, we were out today and… I don't know what happened but Elliot looked like he was gonna have a stroke and we couldn't get Solomon to calm down. Elliot is with him in the nursery right now… Hannah is sleeping."

"And Sam? Where is he, I picked up this cool CD I think he'll like."

Isaac grabbed Alex's cheeks and turned her to look at him, "Sam Sam lookited me!" he grinned.

"He did?" Alex grinned, "He does lookit really cool, huh?"

Isaac smiled and wiggled out of her arms, hitting the floor with his feet and instantly trying to drop his boxers, "Don't even think about it monkey!" Olivia warned.

Isaac offered her a sly smile and opted to take off his shirt instead, "Nope… keep the clothes on."

He smirked and walked away, "Dada?" he called walking down the hallway and dropping his boxers once he was out of sight, followed by his shirt.

"So," Olivia smiled, "what brings you by?"

"Um," Alex exhaled and gratefully accepted a cup of warm chocolate, "it's about Casey… but before we get into that… where is Sam?"

Olivia exhaled as they both sat at the kitchen table, "I told Sam you were stopping by as soon as you called and told me you were close… he went straight to his room and didn't come out. Refuses to talk."

"He's upset with _me_?" Alex asked in confusion, "I thought he had fun with Robert and I yesterday."

"He's not upset," Olivia assured her, "he's a little… hurt."

"Hurt?" She asked bewildered, "Did we do something to him and not realize it?"

"No," Olivia exhaled, "he thinks that since you're having a baby… you're not gonna want to be his pal anymore. And when all of the kids were at your house, he got a little wound up about it. He thinks you like Isaac and there's no room for him anymore."

"Oh," she raised her brows, and smiled, "I see… I love that little boy to death. Mind if I go and talk to him?"

"Mind? I was hoping you would… he's in his room."

"Kay, give me a few minutes."

Olivia exhaled, "Thanks." Alex retreated to Sam's room just as Elliot slumped exhaustedly onto the couch.

"Hey," Olivia said softly as she curled up next to Elliot, "you sure wanted out of the café in a hurry… you okay?"

He smiled softly and wrapped his arm around her, kissing her temple and letting his lips linger, "It was getting so crowded in there… and I'm a selfish man. I like to have you at home with me where it's quiet-"

"Quiet?" She chuckled, nestling closer to him, "With four kids… we have to stay up really late to hear quiet."

"But it's worth it," he whispered and kissed her softly again, "it's always worth it."

"You're so serious," she chuckled, "what's up?"

"Nothing… I just… I just really love you," he said and let her lay her head back on his shoulder.

"You're tense," she whispered, "and I can tell by your voice that something is bothering you… I'll listen when you're ready to tell me."

"You know all of Zeus' commands?"

She looked up at him with furrowed brows and nodded, "The simple ones are in English and the attack commands are in German and the signs are just as easy… what's wrong?"

He forced a grin and tickled her playfully, "Nothing… what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," she laughed freely as his hand grazed the flesh of her belly and worked its way upwards. "Go any higher and were gonna be giving Alex a free show."

He dropped his hand instantly, "Alex is here?"

"Talking to Sam right now."

"Oh thank goodness," he exhaled, "how did she know?"

"She didn't, she came by to talk about Casey and asked to see Sam, blah blah… I think she'll pull him out of it. El, you should see her, she's showing already and her face is glowing and she's so happy."

He grinned and kissed the corner of her mouth, "I told you… that baby is gonna be huge isn't she?"

"She?" she smirked, "how come when it's other people's babies the baby is a she, when the baby is ours the baby is a boy?"

He grinned, "Because I think I can only stand the heartache of walking one daughter down the aisle."

"Oh," she chuckled, "and I can see four boys being stolen away by some woman that'll never be good enough?"

"Four?" he smirked and kissed her playfully. "So, you admit that we're having a boy next time?"

She giggled and it felt so good to see her laugh, to see that whimsical smile that showed itself on rare occasions, eight since he's known, to be exact. Yet, after last night, it seemed to be her only smile. Beautiful, capricious, powerful. Olivia.

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"You know," Alex said softly, "I've been sitting here for five minutes and you still haven't said hello."

He shrugged, "So."

"Ah, he speaks."

"This isn't funny, Alex." He scolded, "This is very serious. Love is very serious," he said sliding off of the bed and standing with his forehead against the wall feeling the painted brail on the cool of the paint, "My mom and dad, they are serious people about love and they teach me to be serious about it too, because it's very important."

Alex kneeled behind and touched his back softly, "Honey… I don't know why you think I don't love you…but I do. So much, in fact that I don't like it when you ignore me. Please turn around at look at me."

Sam hesitantly turned and slid down the wall to his bottom before touching her face softly with one hand, "See you."

"Good. Because I see you, all the time. I think about you when you're not visiting Robert and I and I always look forward to you stopping by my classroom with Crystal."

He exhaled, "Then how come you don't love me anymore?"

"Who told you that?" she asked, drawing her feet under her, "Tell me who told you that."

He shook his head, "No one… everyone loves Isaac."

She grinned, "That's true…everyone does love Isaac, but you know what? Everyone loves you too… Do you know what would have happened if I told Robert that you thought we didn't love you?"

"What?"

"He would have been really sad. He would have probably cried because we love you so much."

"He let Isaac play with my chess board. Robert, he-he bought me the chess board and he told me he loved me, that I was handsome and that we were friends… but then he let Isaac play with it."

"Maybe he wanted Isaac to like chess so you two could play chess together… did you think about that?"

He furrowed his brow, "No."

"He wants you two to have things in common so you both can come over and play and have fun together-"

"But… you guys had Addison too."

Alex exhaled, "Casey hasn't been feeling too well. I saw her today and she is very very-"

"Sad," Sam finished the sentence, "I had a dream about her. I could hear her crying for long hours and then a boom and then nothing."

Alex furrowed her brow, taking in the conversation she'd just had with Casey. She exhaled, "Sam… I love you."

"I don't think you do. Not anymore," he whispered sadly, "You'll have your baby boy and you'll love Isaac and Addison and the babies so much that there won't be any more room for me."

"You said your mom and dad are serious people about love, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "real serious, and I think… I think for them, it's a new love today because mom is so happy, like I've never heard her, and when I feel her face she's so beautiful and she doesn't feel like she's been sad for so many years."

Alex smiled, "Yeah, I noticed she was very happy when I dropped you guys off last night and I noticed she looked very happy this evening too, but… here's what I'm getting at, your mom and dad are very serious about love, but they love so many different people... do their hearts ever get too full?"

"No… they add people a lot, like this morning when we were in the car, Mom was talking about her new partner-he's a fish like Odie- and she said he's gonna come to dinner soon so dad could meet him. Dad didn't seem too happy but then mom convinced him, and see, they added Mac and Chloe and even the dog cop that found Isaac for them… they add lots of people."

"So… do they still love you?"

He grinned and raised his foot to her, "I got shoes that fit me."

She ran her hand through his hair and smiled, "So… they still love you even though they add new people to their hearts all the time?"

"Yeah."

"Then, why can't I add new people to my heart and still love you?"

He blinked, furrowed his brow in thought, "Maybe… maybe, um… maybe my brain didn't work on that one real good."

She chuckled, "Maybe it didn't… because I could have ten of my own babies and still love you to no end."

"Really?"

"Really," she smiled and kissed his cheek, "guess, what I found at a little shop in SoHo today?"

"What?" he asked as she helped him up and sat him on the bed, "What did you find? Tell me."

"I found the very first album that Ray Charles ever made."

His brows arched, "The very first?"

"The very first," she smiled, "and it's sitting on the kitchen counter in my bag, waiting for you to go and get it."

Sam smiled and pulled her into a tight hug, "Thank you, Alex."

"It's my pleasure… just so long as you always tell me what you're feeling. That was a long five minutes of you not talking to me. Hurt me."

He kissed her cheek, "All better?"

"All better," she assured him and hugged him again, "did you ask your mom and dad about singing lessons?"

"No… I needed shoes."

She furrowed her brows, "Sam, I tell you all the time, if you want something you just have to ask them, they won't be upset. Your mom is extra good with money, she won't make a bad choice or buy something that they can't afford, so don't worry about asking, the worst that can happen is that they say no."

_And, well there's always the possibility that your father has a heart attack because his son wants to learn how to sing, because that is exactly what's gonna happen. _

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"Look," the man behind the counter told the blond with a thick accent, "all I'm saying is that the process might take a little longer than normal, because of what has happened."

"How much longer?" the customer grumbled.

"A regular gun permit… we're talking the standard waiting period, but, like I say… you're a big name right now. I issue you a permit and the next morning it's all over the papers. You do have an ax to grind you know what I'm saying dame?"

The customer exhaled, "Are you gonna sell me the gun or not?"

"I can process the paper work, but you're looking at a waiting period."

"Which brings me back to square one… how long?"

"Two months."

"I don't have two months. Less than a week… that's what I have… a week, what can you do with that?"

He arched his brows and smiled, "I can turn my law-abiding-citizen-cheek and forgo the paperwork for an extra… ehh, you're nice looking, an extra grand will do."

"Done. Cash?"

"No, no… there's still paperwork. I don't want to loose my store over you, even if you are hot. The paperwork is fake, but as long as it bares a signature, it stands up to scrutiny when your average detective browses looking for their killer…so long as _you're not_ the killer. Then we've got our selves a problem."

She offered a pathetic smirk, "Where do I sign?"

"On the dotted line, love," he said slipping the paper to her.

She exhaled and carefully, with trembling hands began her signature, C-A-S-E-Y N-O-V-A-K.

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"Slow down," Olivia warned as Sam barreled through the hall to the kitchen and waited anxiously for Alex to catch up.

"Well, I see some things got straightened out," Elliot smiled to Alex as he snaked his hands around Olivia's waist and kissed her neck playfully. Olivia grinned brightly and Alex couldn't hold in her own smile at the two.

"Yeah… looks like you two go some things straightened out too, huh?" she teased.

"Alex. Alex, focus," Sam said eagerly, "the CD. Don't forget."

She laughed and dug in her bag, "One, Ray Charles CD for the little man in my life."

He took it with a blushing grin, "I love you Alex."

She laughed, "I love you… always have. Always will, even with ten of my own."

He giggled and trotted off to his room, Alex turned back to see her friends in a rather passionate lip lock, "Ahem," she cleared her throat, and when they didn't separate she did it louder, "AHEM!"

They separated with blushing smiles and she laughed, "Geeze, you guys back on the honeymoon cloud or what?" Elliot smiled at Olivia, stress free eyes, properly rested face. Confident. Sexy. Fearless. Powerful. Olivia.

"I'll leave you two alone to talk," he said never once leaving Olivia's gaze, "I've got a case that needs some follow up paperwork, then I'm hitting the sac."

Olivia nodded, kissed the corner of his mouth, "I'm there when I'm there."

"Okay," he smiled and walked away to go about his business.

"Wow… uh… what's up with you two?" Alex asked as the curiosity ate away at her.

Olivia blushed and looked away, "Nothing. Just happy."

"Oh… well, I hate to be-oh!" Alex's eyes went wide and she stepped closer to Olivia, lowering her voice, "Did you… did you, finally… the whole thing?"

Olivia grinned, "Whole thing."

"Wow!" Alex said almost in marvel, "How do you feel… if you don't mind my asking?"

"I don't know," Olivia laughed, "I feel very… very… normal," she exhaled. "For the first time in my life I feel normal and happy and just… free to be me."

"Wow… that is amazing, Olivia. So… I mean, it went okay? No flashbacks or anything?'

Olivia took a seat at the kitchen table as Alex followed across from her, "No, not really, in fact… once I got over the initial fear… it was amazing."

Alex grinned, "I'm happy for you… I am glad you got through that. I'm glad you beat that, it seemed to have such a hold on you."

"I never realized how much so… until I realized you could wake up happy, go through a day happy and still smile and feel good at the end of it… that's never happened," she chuckled, "I feel good," she offered a bashful smile, "sexy. You know?"

Alex giggled, "I can tell… geeze, I thought I was gonna have to separate you two with a hose."

Olivia laughed out loud and thought it curious that two years ago she squirmed talking about her personal love life, yet today she was proud of it. Proud to have come this far along in it and to have conquered something so intimately devastating for her that she didn't know if she'd ever be whole. Yet here she was, going on whole for close to twenty four hours.

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"El, Wake up!" Olivia said, quickly taking a naked Isaac out of his arms as he slept in his chair.

He woke up and quickly closed the notepad he was writing on and dropping it to the floor, "What? What is it?"

"I have to go to Casey's. Alex said she talked with her yesterday and its bad, El. It's very bad."

He furrowed his brow and stood, taking Isaac back in his arms as he slept, "What do you mean bad?"

"There's been talk of… suicide, apparently. Paul has taken off work to watch over her, and apparently that is why Alex had and still has Addison."

"What!" Elliot's eyes widened, "No. No, Casey wouldn't do something like that… she's… she's got a son and Paul and… I mean, she-"

"El," Olivia retreated into their room and grabbed a jacket quickly; "she comes from a long line of successful attorneys… law is in her blood like being a cop is in ours. Imagine how you would feel if one day your badge was stripped off of your chest and you were suddenly standing in front of the cameras and the press was ripping you to shreds."

He sighed, "We know how that feels."

She cupped his face, "Then we also understand why she would want to… why she would feel as if she had no other choice."

"Be careful," he whispered, "it's late. The roads are bad."

"Alex is warming up her car, I'll follow her into the city. There's milk in the fridge, I talked to Sam already and, please put Isaac's clothes back on."

"Okay… just… well, tell her we love her."

"Will do."

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"Hey," Paul smiled sadly from the door, "What's going on?"

"Just thought we'd stop by," Alex smiled, "thought you might want to see this handsome little boy of yours."

He grinned, took his son into his arms as his tears welled up, "Hey, big boy. I've missed you so much," he sniffled and kissed his cheek softly, "you've gotten bigger haven't you?"

"Paul… is Casey here?" Olivia asked. "We'd like to talk with her if she's up to it."

He exhaled, "Good luck… she's not talking to anyone. She's been locked in the room for days, although she did go out today, but only for awhile and she said it was just for a walk."

"Okay, well… can we take Addy in with us?" Alex asked, "Might do her some good to see the little guy."

"Sure," he kissed his son and handed him gently back to Alex, "but don't be surprised if she wants nothing to do with you guys… she can't even stand to look at me."

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Elliot held the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he painstakingly tried to feed Hannah with a bottle, "No!" he grumbled, "No… you're his parole officer right?"

"Yes, lieutenant."

"Then what's the hold up?"

"Sir, I need more than just you asking for an accounting of his whereabouts."

"Damn you," Elliot hissed into the phone as Hannah started to cry. He shifted her to his shoulder and started to pat her back as he began to bounce on his heels, "I want to know where in the hell he was today at three forty-seven in the afternoon."

"I can't give you that information it's a violation of his privacy."

"We're the ones with the restraining orders! That ankle bracelet is on him because of us! Tell me where he was!"

"Sir,"

Hannah cried harder and Elliot exhaled in frustration, "Look! Just… how about this, was he in the vicinity of 5th and Alexis?"

The parole officer sighed through the phone, "Hold on."

Elliot heard the rapid tapping of a key board and several seconds later, "No, no. He appears to have been in Queens, which is about right, since that's where he works and lives and according to this he hasn't once been in one of the 'no zones' we set for him. He's holding down a job, pissing clean and attending his counseling as prescribed."

Elliot furrowed his brows and hung up the phone without a farewell. He adjusted Hannah so he could look down at her. He soothed her immediately and exhaled, "If he wasn't there… who did Daddy see, pumpkin?"

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"Casey, honey. We brought Addison to see you."

"Please leave," she whispered, as she lay in the fetal position on her unmade bed, in clothes she'd probably slept in too many times, "just… go."

"No," Olivia told her firmly, "get up, come on, we're getting you in the shower."

"No," Casey told her again and continued to stare at nothing.

Olivia exhaled and kneeled in front of her, "Honey… this isn't healthy, look at you, this isn't you, come on… let's get some fresh clothes on you and we want to take you out for dinner."

"I'm not hungry," she exhaled and Olivia struggled to keep a straight face wondering when the last time she'd brushed her teeth or washed her oily hair.

"Paul said you haven't eat-"

"He's still here?" she asked, void of emotion, "I told him to leave three days ago."

Olivia furrowed her brows, "Why?"

"Why not?" Casey groaned and brought her knees tighter, "I told him to take Addison and get out."

"Oh… so you're giving up. Is that it?" Olivia asked, purposefully challenging her.

"That's. Exactly. It." Casey said and simply rolled so her back faced them both.

Undaunted, Olivia climbed over her like and irritating baby sister and kneeled in front of her on the mattress, "Get your butt out of this bed. Now."

"Kiss my a-" before she could finish the sentence, Alex had put Addison down, encouraged him to go find his daddy and was already dragging Casey out of the bed.

"Lets go. You stink. When was the last shower you had?"

"Let go of me!"

"Shut up Case." Alex growled, "And stop kicking!" When Casey continued to struggle with her, Alex motioned for Olivia, "Legs-get her legs."

Defensively, Olivia moved in and quickly took hold of Casey's legs effectively rendering them useless as they moved her into the bathroom, "Let me go!"

"Water!" Alex nodded her head, "Turn it on!"

Olivia moved, careful not to let go of the legs as she felt for the faucet and quickly pulled the lever, "Stop moving!" she snapped, "You're heavy damnit!"

"Let me go! Now!" Casey screeched and then gasped when they shoved her into the shower, clothed and under a steady stream of cold water. Casey grabbed for the shower door and Alex put her weight against it.

"You may as well adjust it to warm, 'cause we're gonna sit here until you're naked and clean. Deal with it! And hurry up we made reservations and your making us late with your stubbornness."

Casey growled in frustration, let out a scream of anger and slowly slid down the shower wall sobbing. Olivia, after several minutes, motioned for Alex to get her some fresh clothes and she slowly opened the shower door and kneeled, unconcerned with the spray that misted her face, "Casey," she said softly and reached out to touch her, "come on honey, you've got to get your clothes off and get cleaned up… your son is here to see you."

Laboriously she yelled, "I don't want to see him!"

Olivia cupped her cheek as if she were Samuel and smiled softly, "I know you're angry and you're hurting and you're scared… but don't push us away, not after everything you and I have been through. Let me help you? The same way you've done for us. Let me be here for you, Casey."

Casey sobbed harder and Olivia reached out to embrace her she helped her stand and helped her out of her soaking clothing and thought of the time when she'd done the same motions at her own home when Casey had shown up drunk and distraught.

"Olivia?" Alex called her out of the bathroom.

"Five minutes, Casey," Olivia called over her shoulder and walked out, "What?" she asked Alex who looked completely pale, "Whoa… where'd that come from?"

"I think I know where Casey went for a walk today."

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Olivia drug her tired carcass into her home fifteen minutes past three in the morning and grinned at the fabulous monkey pile of kids sleeping on a clonked out Elliot as they all parked themselves on the sofa bed, empty bottles littering the mattress, the DVD screen saver in full effect.

She put their children to sleep, gently and quietly, marveling at how big each of them had grown. Isaac's hair fell a little longer than shoulder length now and Sam was sure to have to go back to a store for new clothes as his pajamas were already high waters.

She placed Solomon over her shoulder knowing full well if his lips went anywhere near her breast, he'd wake up and demand to be fed. Not that she would mind, she missed the frequency of being able to breast feed her babies, missed the closeness. It wasn't the same, pumping milk at work in the dingy crib and bringing it home to them like she was their milk-man instead of their mother. She exhaled, laid him down and followed suit with Hannah who, to her extreme surprise did wake up as soon as Olivia cradled her in her arms. Her little hands nuzzling Olivia's breast and requesting her meal.

Olivia grinned, laid her daughter back on the bed and unbuttoned her shirt as she cooed to the crying infant.

"Trying to seduce a tired father?" Elliot muttered with a sleepy smile.

"I wish," Olivia laughed softly and stretched out on the bed without a bra or shirt and Elliot immediately helped Hannah to her breast. He kissed Olivia softly and rubbed her arm, before kissing their daughter and smiling.

"You look beautiful, Liv," he whispered and smiled at the happy humming his daughter was producing, "See, she agrees."

Olivia chuckled, "No… she's being a piglet which is surprising considering who were dealing with."

"I need to tell you something," he said softly, "I need to talk to you, after you're done with Hannah. Is that okay?"

She furrowed her brow, "Go ahead and tell me now. What's wrong? Is this about the café?"

"Yeah," he told her honestly.

"O-okay, well… I'm listening."

He exhaled, ran his hand over his long hair and smirked, he was almost gonna tell her his hair was too long. He and Sam. Two peas in a pod.

She caressed his face, "El? You can tell me."

He smiled into her hand and kissed her palm, "I love you and I don't want to keep things from you, but I wanted to make absolute sure my mind _was_ playing tricks on me."

"Okay, um… you're making me nervous, El. Can you just tell me?" she asked in concern.

"I thought I saw someone."

"Who?"

"A man."

She smirked, "Your lover?"

"Liv!" he scolded, "come on. I'm being serious and you're being nasty."

She laughed, pulled him to her and kissed his lips, "I'm sorry, that was inappropriate but… you're making me nervous… who did you see? Why did you grab me like that? You scared the crap out of Solo and Hannah and you saw how long it took to get Solomon to calm down… hours."

He exhaled, "He… I thought he was watching you guys."

She pulled back, a look of clear shock on her face, "Watching us? Who?"

Elliot shook his head and kissed his daughter again, letting his lips linger on her cheek before kissing Olivia's breast and collar bone, her neck and cheek. Her lips, "I was scared," he finally admitted, "and that's why I practically pulled you guys out of the café… I'm sorry."

She tilted her head, kissed his lips softly, "Don't be. I just… the thought of you running after someone with a baby vest… kind of funny, right?" she laughed humorlessly, "not really but… El… who did you _think_ that you saw? Nick?"

"White."

"White? Like, as in, Richard White?" she asked with raised brows.

"Yeah, him… I put in a call to his parole officer though, and he said that according to the ankle bracelet, he wasn't anywhere near us. I actually called back a second time, just to confirm and he said that he'd signed in at a group therapy session at the time we were actually at the cafe."

She exhaled tried to stifle the sudden surge of nervousness that ran through her body, "Okay. Um, thank you for telling me. Thank you for not keeping it from me… but Elliot, you look stressed out, come on… you don't think that a parole officer is gonna make his location up, do you?"

"No," he agreed, "I just… I just. Liv, it looked like him and it bothered me and I freaked out and I'm sorry I scared you. I just-"

"You were protecting your family from what you perceived as a threat… thank you. And thank you for not waiting so long to tell me."

"You're not upset?"

"Upset? Why? You told me," she shrugged her shoulder, went to insert her pinkly into Hannah's sleeping mouth when Elliot stopped her.

"Can I?"

"Huh?"

"I want to be as much apart of their feedings as possible, can I do that? What you do to make her let go?"

She was slightly surprised, "Sure… uh, just, slide your pinky into her mouth, but softly and try to get her to separate. With her, you've got to sort of massage her gum but she'll let up quick."

He smiled and gently, timidly, did as she'd instructed and grinned when Hannah instantly released from Olivia's nipple, made a few sucking attempts on Elliot's pinky and slowly went back to sleep, "Wow… she's too perfect."

Olivia smiled, traced his hairline with her fingertips, "El… you know, me and you, we had a pretty good night last night. It was stressful though, for the both of us… maybe, maybe you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop? I mean, that's sort of what happened to me, we got through the first part and then I had that nightmare… maybe your brain is jumbled too, huh?" she smiled softly.

He exhaled, "I was so relieved when they said he signed into a therapy session."

She leaned over her daughter and kissed him gently, "I love you. You and me… Elliot, it's good. No one is pulling the carpet out from under us this time."

He smiled, kissed her again, "How was Casey?"

She groaned, "El… she had a gun."

"What!"

"I was helping her in the shower and Alex was hunting for clothes and in her dresser there was a nine millimeter with badly forged papers."

"You took it, right?"

"Told her I had too, that it was an unregistered gun… took it down to the station and had them deal with it."

"Did you, I mean… you confronted her didn't you?"

"You bet your butt, I did. Alex and I double teamed her but she stuck to this cockamamie story that she was scared of the press hounding her, so she bought it."

"You don't buy it?"

"You don't get a gun with false papers if you have a legitimate reason for having it… in my mind I don't think she would have tried it, but…. I wasn't leaving the gun to find out." She exhaled, "She tried to kick Paul out… he's a stubborn man. Stayed."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that he didn't leave, Casey can be… less than sweet when she's upset. Addison?"

"Won't have anything to do with him… I don't understand why she's taking it this hard, I mean… yeah she loves her job, but… she's got six months to find an alternative just in case, and she doesn't really know if it's gonna go south. I don't understand what's going on but I know one thing for sure."

"What?"

"She's hiding something. We're not getting the full story. She's scared out of her mind, like she's a cornered cheetah and she's staring down a hunter."

Elliot exhaled, "Alex has Addison?"

"Robert does. Alex is staying with Casey tonight… Casey won't let Paul near her. El… it's a mess, she's breaking."

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"Tell me you've got to be kidding me!" Cragen barked from his office door, "Who's catchin?"

"Right here," Olivia said waving a file in the air as she sipped a coffee and walked to her desk, "What do we got?"

"Where's Carp?" Cragen asked.

"Probably learning how to tie his shoes," Fin quipped.

"Guys!" Olivia groaned, "Come on, give the kid a chance, he's actually pretty decent."

"Yeah, okay," Mac rolled his eyes.

"Find him and get to your scene," Cragen ordered, handing her the address.

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"Why did you come to SVU?" Olivia asked as she tossed the keys to Carp, five minutes after she'd found him manhandling the soda machine and coming up fruitless.

"Why do you keep asking me that? And why am I driving?"

"You need to learn the streets… you do have a license, right?" she smirked, "get in, lets go, it's a live vic."

As Carp pulled away from the curb, Olivia strapped herself in, thought about making a quip about a booster seat or a telephone book but decided not to, "You still haven't answered my question," Olivia muttered pointing to the left so he could turn.

"Nor do I intend to," he said, putting the blinker on and smoothly negotiating the turn, "why don't you tell me why you came here?"

"Nice try," she smiled. "But, I don't know you from Adam."

"Yet, you continue to pester me." He chuckled, "I see how you are. You want to know what you're getting into."

"I want to know who I'm taking a bullet for," she said pointing to the curb. "I want to know if the guy I have to eat a gun for is here because he's driven by a professional goal… the glory of having SVU on the resume or if he's here for a personal goal… the humility to keep fighting for those who couldn't or didn't stand a chance."

He exhaled, "I'm here for… personal reasons."

She smiled softly, "I'll take that… and for the record… me too."

"Well, then," he smiled, finally feeling as if he'd gotten a rung up on his new partner, "let's get this one started, shall we?"

"Let's do it."

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"Carp," Olivia exhaled, "I should warn you about something, I wasn't," she said as they stood in front of the door of the crime scene.

"Okay… what is it?"

She thumbed her brow, "The live vics… it's harder to deal with them when you get home. It's easier when they're dead but, when they're alive and they're pleading with you to make it all go away… it's a little more difficult to deal with, because you can't do anything until you find the perp, and even then… it's like tossing a coin."

He nodded, "Okay…let's do it."

She nodded in agreement and soon they were walking through a pent house, him directly behind her careful to walk the straight line she'd emphasized to him. And there she was, the victim, surrounded by uniformed officers trying to get as many clues as possible, "SVU," Olivia declared, showing her badge, "I'm detective Benson, this is my partner, Detective Stratus."

The sergeant turned and smiled at the rookie detective, "You kiddin?"

"I'm sorry," Olivia stepped up quickly, "there a problem with my partner?"

"He's a kid," the sergeant laughed.

"He's a damn good cop, so why don't you gather up your things and get out of here, I'm sure we don't need you anymore."

He moved to say something, she arched her bows and he walked away. She turned to Carp who had since made his way to the victim and she was shocked to see him dealing with her in such compassion and care that she almost didn't wan to interrupt, "Excuse me… I'm Detective Olivia Benson, I see you've meant my partner."

Carp stood and leaned into Olivia's ear, "35 five year old, looks like B and E, that went bad, she said she caught him off guard, and uh… well, I think the rape was an after thought."

She nodded and sat on the couch opposite the victim, "Ma'am."

"Janna… my name is Janna," she whispered and wiped at her tears.

"Janna, can you tell us what happened?"

"I don't know… he hit me, and… the next thing I knew… I woke up and there was, so much pain, down… there," she sobbed and shook her head, "My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant… what if I'm pregnant? What if this sick freak got me pregnant?" she looked up desperately at the detective, "What if I'm pregnant?"

"Well," Olivia exhaled, "There are-"

"Then you'll take that gift and you'll mold it into something beautiful," Carp cut her off, looking at the woman."

"Beautiful?" she asked in disgust, "What can be beautiful about a baby born of rape?"

Olivia cringed and swore she saw Carp wince but, the fact that he was being so unprofessional right now didn't give her time to dwell in her own pity. She looked at him, moved to speak but he kept going.

"I'm not saying what happened was beautiful, but… it's up to you to decide the baby's fate, if you're pregnant. That baby will be just as much you as anything else."

Olivia half expected the victim to pass out from being overwhelmed, "Look," Olivia whispered but was surprised when Janna paid more attention to what Carp was saying.

"What do you mean? How can you know that one day I won't hate the baby?"

Carp smiled softly, "Because…. Love knows no bounds. Babies aren't always made out of love, they aren't always conceived the way they should be, but that doesn't mean that you can't love them and nurture them and grow them up to be someone spectacular."

She nodded almost imperceptibly and Olivia quickly dove back in not sure of what to make of the situation. Elliot would have never pulled that card, no matter what his personal beliefs were, "Janna… look, we might be jumping the gun, less than one percent of all rapes end in pregnancy… I think what we really need to do is get you looked at and take your statement so we can go from there… would that be okay?" Janna sniffled, still seemingly captivated by the words of a young man she didn't know. A young man with a funny name, a compassionate smile and a gentle voice.

"Officer Flemming, is going to help you with your purse and things like that, and then she's going to drive you to the hospital where we'll meet with you, alright?" Olivia asked pointing to the officer to her left.

"Yeah," Janna exhaled and reluctantly went with the officer.

"What. The hell. Was that?" Olivia ground out between clenched teeth.

Carp shrugged, "I was reassuring the victim."

"You were pressing your personal beliefs onto her!" she hissed, "That's unprofessional!"

"That's reality!" he whispered sharply back to her, "She asked me and I told her!"

"You could have caused her to mentally break by overloading her with that!" Olivia told him harshly, "You'd better learn one thing real quick and that is to never pull something like that again, not on my watch, not on this forces time. You want to play cowboy, get your spurs and ride off to Queens, you got me?"

He softened and exhaled, "She wanted to know, and in case you haven't looked around this apartment… she's deeply religious. Look around, Benson, there's a painting of Jesus smiling with children for crying out loud… she needed reassurance. I did my job. I gave it to her. You want to be Miss. Professional? Then grab your rule book and take a seat… I've got a victim to take care of and right now, you're in my way."

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"Where the hell have you been?" Cragen barked as soon as Carp and Olivia walked into the bullpen.

"Just got back from the hospital on our vic," Olivia informed him, "got nothing, the guy bleached her and cut her nails while she was out. Warner's running test, trying to get us a lead."

Cragen exhaled, "We've got six… six damn murders that are unsolved. Melinda dropped by a few preliminary lab reports… start going over them and find me something that I can give the brass to get their foot out of my ass!"

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"Benson, I got a training session… is that gonna be a problem?" Carp asked almost hesitantly.

Olivia looked up from her mound of folders, "Nope… the training sessions in SVU are the best you'll have Take notes, you'll use it every day you work here… I'll see you tonight for dinner right?"

He exhaled, "You're not still pissed at me?"

She smiled, leaned back in her chair, "Look Carp, I've been here for a long time and sometimes I'm by the book, sometimes I know when to bend the rules… I'm not as straight arrowed as you think. I'm not anal, no matter what Mac and Fin tell you, but, you're training right now, you're being broken in and the reality is… it has to be by the book or you're gonna bend the rules at the wrong time and its' gonna bite you."

He bit his bottom lip and furrowed his brow, "If she is pregnant… she really can nurture the baby into something spectacular."

Olivia tilted her head, "You really believe that?"

"I believe it. I know."

"Why?"

He looked down and away, "It's none of your business," he whispered. "I'm gonna be late."

"Carp," she grabbed his arm as he walked by, "I'm not upset… in fact, if I would have been paying attention to the surroundings instead of arguing with the uniform… I'd of done the same thing… good eyes, kid. I'll see you tonight at seven for dinner, right?"

He smiled, "Gonna let your husband rip into me?"

She laughed, "If he wanted to… he would have already. Now, you comin' or are you voiding my invitation?"

"I'm there."

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"I can't believe I have to entertain this kid," Elliot muttered to himself in the mirror and continued struggling with his tie, "He comes onto my wife and I have to serve him a meal." He growled at the mess he made of the tie and angrily yanked on it, pulling the wrong lead and effectively choking himself.

He struggled with it, his face turning warm and red just as Olivia walked out of the bathroom fastening an earring, "Elliot!" she screeched and moved to him quickly trying to un-tie the knot as he leaned against the wall struggling and inadvertently tightening it. Whatever he did to it, she couldn't undo it and he was turning purple, still tugging at the wrong lead.

She smacked his hand away, "Stop! You're making it worse!" she scolded and ran back into the restroom opening the drawer that contained her hair cutting utensils.

She slid the blade of the scissors delicately under the material of the tie, careful of his skin as he death gripped her waist and struggled, she snipped it quickly and he gasped in oxygen, "What was that!" she scolded, "what happened? Why didn't you wait for me!"

He held his neck, still bent over and offered an embarrassed chuckle, "Damn tie, tried to kill me."

She couldn't hold in the laugh, "El," she whispered and straightened him, "El." She shook her head and kissed him, "Geez," she chuckled, "what am I gonna do with you?"

He regained his bearings quickly and pulled her middle close to him, "You'd die a woman in want if I wasn't around."

She laughed, "Don't you dare try to sac me right now… Carp is gonna be here in five minutes and Chloe and Donovan are coming too."

"He'll be late," Elliot smiled, rubbing him self into her.

She gasped and quickly pulled away, "El," she whispered, "Carp is never late, he's anal about time."

"He pulled her back to him, "So we'll make him wait… I don't like him, anyway."

She grinned, kissed him playfully and sucked on his lower lip, "You don't like him 'cause he asked me out… give him a chance. I think he was nervous and thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy."

Elliot smacked his lips and exhaled, "This mean I can't have you right now?"

The door bell rang, "No, but that does." She laughed and retrieved another tie from the closet and quickly tied it around his neck, adjusted his collar and kissed him again.

"Mom!" Sam yelled down the hall, "Mom, I don't know the voice, but he says he's your partner like dad use to be!"

"Let him in, baby," she called back to him as she entered the nursery and picked up Hannah who was currently cooing and kicking in her crib.

"What about my boy?" Elliot asked motioning to Solomon who remained asleep.

"He's asleep," she grinned playfully, "you want to run the risk of waking him up, then let him wrench on your nipple."

"Um," Elliot glanced at his own chest, "I think, yeah… he looks like he needs his sleep."

She laughed and they walked down the hall to see Sam standing in front of the door with Zeus' collared neck firmly in his grasp as Chloe and Donovan assured him that it was alright to let Carp inside, "No," Sam said simply, "You can come in Chloe, 'cause I know your voice, but not Carp… not until Dad is here."

"Well, what about me?" Donovan piped in, "you tellin' me you like Chloe more than me?"

Sam giggled as Isaac peeked out from behind him, "Boo!"

"Sam, its okay," Elliot assured him as he stepped into the foyer, "Carp works with your mom down at the station."

Sam nodded, "Kay, you can come in… anyone else here? Casey?" he asked hopefully.

"No," Olivia smiled moving behind him and rubbing his chest as she bent and kissed his cheek, careful of Hannah, "baby, Casey's not feeling well… why don't you take your brother and go play cars before dinner?"

"Can I have the fast car?"

"Yep, as long as you share it… go."

He laughed and moved to walk away before stopping and returning to where he thought Carp still should be. Sam extended his hand, "I'm Samuel, but my mom calls me Sam. I'm nine and I make my Dad proud."

Elliot grinned and quickly scooped him up laughing, "It's about time you realized that!" he teased and lowered him, "I think there's a fast car waiting for you," he chuckled, kissed his cheek and sent him about his business, surprised, when Isaac stuck out his hand to the stranger and giggled.

"Saac!" he jumped happily.

Carp laughed, shook the tiny hand, "Zack?"

"Isaac," Chloe countered, "and you're lucky the little guy has clothes on."

"I'm lucky I'm not a popsicle," Donovan quipped, "Olivia… it's cold!"

"Sorry!" she laughed stepping back and finally letting everyone into the house. She introduced the three younger people, having decided that they were closer in age to Carp and would probably be a good starting point for him while he made Manhattan his home.

"And this fabulous man," Olivia smiled playfully and leaned into Elliot, "is my husband, Elliot."

Carp visibly tensed, "You're big…err… I mean, uh… Olivia talks highly of you."

Elliot smirked. Kissed Olivia softly on the cheek as he held a cold stare towards Carp, silently telling him, just to be sure that he knew, that Olivia was his. She was taken. Spoken for. Married. His. Carp swallowed hard and nervously crammed his hands in his pockets.

"Play nice," Olivia whispered to Elliot before he withdrew his mouth from her skin. Elliot smiled softly at Olivia and kissed the corner of her mouth before retreating to the kitchen. _Mine_.

Donovan gave Carp a small snicker, "Way to get on his bad side, man."

"Tell me about it," Carp groaned.

"Ah, he's just toying with you," Olivia assured him, "come on."

"So," Carp exhaled, "who's this little one?"

"My daughter," Elliot piped up from the kitchen. _Mine._

"This is Hannah," Olivia said as a proud mother should, full of smiles and giggles as she held her up still cradling her head.

Chloe slipped in passed the group and slid her hands around Donovan's waist, kissing his shoulder through his shirt, "I love you."

He grinned, turned in her embrace and kissed her forehead, "Love you too… he'll be okay."

"First time I've left Matthew with anyone other than his sitter."

"It's my mom," he chuckled, "believe me, he's in capable hands."

"Hey!" Elliot scolded playfully, "No reproducing in the living room."

Chloe blushed a furious rose and quickly stepped away and Carp finally saw a hint of playfulness from the man he knew probably wanted to crush his skull and the only reason why he wasn't currently crushing his skull in, was because his partner had probably begged her husband, profusely, to go easy on him. He groaned and took a chance, "Uh," he cleared his throat, "Elliot, can I give you hand?"

Elliot eyed him closely; _You want to help me with my forks, my knives, my plates, my food_. He felt the caress of Olivia's finger along the small of his back as she walked past him to prepare Isaac's high chair, "Uh… you can, uh… put my-err- the silverware on the table."

"Why don't you ladies, take a seat in the living room and let us cave men finish up in here?" Donovan suggested ushering them back to the living room, "After all, I'm sure that since the food is edible, Elliot didn't cook it… we'll set up."

Olivia arched her brow and smiled, "Ya done well, Chloe."

Chloe grinned motioning for Hannah and happily accepting her, "Don't have to tell me twice."

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"Mom," Sam yawned as she helped him to the table, "I'm so sleepy."

"That's because you were up in the middle of the night listening to the Spanish channel after I told you to go to sleep."

He giggled, "I like Spanish… it's different."

"You speak Spanish?" Carp asked in curiosity.

"Si," Sam giggled, "Como esta usted?"

Olivia and Elliot both turned their heads in shock, "Hey," Olivia grinned, "where'd that come from?"

He shrugged, "Telemundo… some times it's hard to understand but, I know when a new voice comes onto the television, a lot of times, the voice says, "Hola, como esta… so I think, that means like Hi or maybe good morning or something like that… it's hard to tell 'cause I can't see what they're doing."

"But you know by intonation?" Carp asked, clearly fascinated.

Sam felt for his fork, "I know that stupido is probably stupid because… well, the man who says it… he's always yelling when he says it."

"I see… that's fascinating," Carp grinned.

"Mom… what is this?" Sam asked again feeling in the three O'clock of his plate, "is this corn?"

"Peas, you got meat at twelve, peas at three, salad at six and a cup of Jell-O at nine. Soda in the same spot."

"What kind?"

She kissed his cheek. Sprite was out of the question ever since that day he asked that there not be anymore. Since that day in the hospital, "Orange, honey… eat up."

"So," Donovan cleared his throat and blushed, "Uh, I have a favor to ask."

"Okay," Elliot listened carefully, 'what's up?" he asked ask as Olivia reached to cut Sam's meat and then relieved Chloe of a fussy infant.

"Uh… well, we haven't set a date. We still want a long engagement, but… we wanted you two to come to our wedding."

Olivia grinned, "Believe, me. If we didn't get an invitation we'd crash it anyway."

Chloe laughed and Isaac threw his fork from his highchair onto the table receiving a stern rebuke from Elliot as Carp simply sat back and observed a woman who, at work could be as cold as ice and as brutal and bold as anything he'd ever seen. But here, in the comfort of her home, flanked by lover and children and friends, she's soft and pliable and entirely unlike the detective he's seen the past few days. Here she has no worry in her eyes, no stress in her shoulders, no façade to cater too. He smiled to himself as Isaac shrieked uncontrollably, fighting with his father who continued to rebuke his attention-getting techniques and whose shrieking has called another wailing from the far end of the house.

"I got him," Olivia said, handing Hannah to Carp. She excused herself from the table and whispered something into Isaac's ear, quickly quieting him before she left to retrieve Solomon.

Carp looked down at the infant in his arms, then down the hallway, confused. His mouth suddenly dropped agape as Olivia emerged with another bundle in her arms, "Wow," he whispered as Olivia sat softly next to Elliot and Donovan and Chloe grinned at Isaac who laid against his father's chest. He'd gotten his attention and he was fine with the scolding he had to get around to get it.

"Two," Carp grinned, "I didn't know… I thought maybe you hand one between Sam and Isaac."

"No," Sam said taking a sip of his soda, "No, see, my mom and dad, they saved me from sad days and that's why I'm a lot older than Isaac, but I'm their boy too…see?"

Confused, he simply smiled, "I see… and a spectacular boy you are."

"Spectacular," Sam repeated, "That's a new word… what does it mean?"

Borderline ready to cry at his confession of how he fit into their family, Olivia leaned to him, wrapped her free arm around him and kissed the crown of his head, "I'll tell you later," she said softly and added, "I love you and you're absolutely our boy."

Carp smiled and Donovan nudged him with his elbow, "Soak up as much of this family as you can. You'll learn amazing things here, man. Things that will blow your mind."

Carp chuckled, "Trust me, my mind is blown… absolutely blown."

Isaac squirmed out of his fathers arms and cried as Elliot tried to wipe his mouth, "No!" he whined, Elliot gave him a playful swat on his bottom and set him running through the house.

"Guess he's done," Elliot shrugged.

"He'll be naked and in our bed in five seconds flat," Olivia laughed out loud startling Hannah in Carp's arms and making her cry frantically for someone more familiar.

"Here," Elliot motioned for her, "I'll take her… apparently she hates you."

"El!" Olivia cautioned.

"Joking," Elliot grinned, "Relax. Besides," he smiled down at his daughter, "we all know I'm the only one that can get her to calm down anyway."

"So, it's true," Carp said matter of factly as he took a bite of his food.

"What is?" Elliot asked nuzzling Hannah's nose with his own.

"Every beast does in fact have a soft spot," he joked and suddenly saw everyone starring at Elliot, waiting to see what his reaction was.

Elliot stared at Carp with stern eyes for a long uncomfortable moment and then suddenly, his lips curled into a grin, "Yes, Carp… even I have a soft spot. Five of them to be exact," he laughed and returned his focus to Hannah who suddenly mimicked her father and flexed her lips delivering her first smile, "Liv!" he whispered quickly and moved Hannah closer, "look, look she's smiling at me."

Olivia grinned looking at her daughter, "Yep, that's the official Stabler smirk… wow, El.. she's beautiful."

Chloe chuckled leaning into Donovan's shoulder, "Look at that little smile."

"Look at all of that dark hair!" he laughed, "And Solomon's blond! They're supposed to be twins!"

"Hey," Olivia laughed and held Solomon up for their viewing as well, "he's handsome too!"

"Yes," Carp agreed, "he's a looker. He's big."

"He's gonna be strong like me," Sam said groggily and yawned.

"Your mother has a picture on her desk of you in your karate uniform… I think you're breaking a board. You like doing that?"

Sam rubbed his eyes and shook his head, "Yeah. She helps me in the mornings."

"Careful," Donovan said to Carp, "Sam here, can take you down and work on your wrist like nothing you've seen."

"Speaking of nothing you've seen," Carp cleared his throat, "these cases that Mac and Fin are running… I heard you're the assistant to Dr. Warner… is that right?"

"Yes it is… but uh,"

"We don't talk about work at the dinner table," Elliot informed him, "not with company and not around our kids."

"Oh, I'm sorry… I, uh forgot about the little ones. One of which seems to be asleep," he grinned pointing to Sam who's tie dipped into his Jello-O as he rested his head near his plate.

"Here," Olivia passed Solomon to Chloe and gently woke Sam up, "come on, honey, let's go to sleep."

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"I thought you were gonna rip his head off," Olivia smiled as the warm stream of the shower caressed her body that was resting safely against Elliot's embrace.

"Na… he's okay. Maybe you're right, maybe your stunning looks and bubbly personality took his breath away and he was thinking with the wrong head."

She chuckled, "Um, I'm not sure about stunning, but I know bubbly is out of the question!"

"Donovan seemed to get along well with Carp, what do you think?"

"I think you and I are brilliant when it comes to people," she grinned and turned to face him as the steam continued to build around them, "I wanted them to meet each other, Melinda says Donovan's a loner except for Chloe and us," she shrugged, "I thought it would be good to have some contact other than us riding his butt all day at the bull pen."

"Mac and Fin give him a hard time?"

"They're ruthless," she laughed, "and I'm ashamed to admit that its fun to watch. But the good thing is that he does stand up for himself on the things that matter to him, but he's pretty closed off… just says he's there for personal reasons."

Elliot smiled, pulled her close to him and kissed her playfully, "Um, I'm here for, uh… personal reasons."

She bit her bottom lip and arched her brow, "Yeah? What type of personal reasons?"

He rested his forehead against hers and traced her collarbone with his finger, "Uh, well, you know, the kind of personal things that married people do when they're in the shower."

"Oh," she nodded and teased, "so, you want to wash your body? Okay, I'll step out."

"No!" he said quickly and trapped her in his embrace with a smile, "No, you know… what married people do when their naked, together in the shower,"

"Oh," she grinned, "You want _me_ to wash your body… why didn't you just say so?" she asked.

He smirked, kissed her long and hard and rubbed into her with an erection he had since she had to save him from his murderous tie. The same erection he had to keep fighting through dinner. He felt her nipples mesh into his chest as he brought her close to him. She whimpered as he slipped inside of her and smiled against her mouth.

"Oh," she breathed out, holding onto his shoulder, "that personal stuff," she panted and whimpered when he moved, she grinned, "Yeah, we could do that."

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"Hey!" Elliot gasped as Olivia rubbed her foot against his calf, "Your feet are freezing, don't do that!"

She chuckled, and grabbed his middle with an equally cool hand and pulled him closer to her, "I'm cold."

"Yeah, no kidding," he laughed and rubbed her arm producing friction and heat, "you tired?"

"You know I can barely stay awake after making love in the shower… it makes me sleepy."

He waggled his brows, "It makes you sleepy… or _I_ make you sleepy?"

She laughed into his chest, "The _combination_ makes me sleepy… good night, El."

"Don't go to bed… please?" he asked softly.

She looked up at him and softly kissed his mouth, "Something wrong?"

"No," he said honestly, "I just… want to talk with you."

She grinned sleepily and nestled closer to him, "I'm not sure how long you got, but… talk away."

"I saw you rocking Solomon and feeding him after everyone left… you were beautiful," he whispered, "you've got a really nice singing voice too, you know?"

She chuckled, "Yeah, I think it does 'Hush little baby' justice."

He smiled, moved his hand to warm her hip, "Liv, if you're cold, why didn't you put your flannels on?"

She draped her leg over his and nestled closer to him, "I wanted to snuggle up to you and they would have made me too hot," she said sleepily.

He let out a chuckle, "Do you remember the first time you tried to sing 'Hush Little Baby' to Isaac?"

She groaned and hid her face closer to him, "Don't remind me."

He laughed harder, squeezing her tighter, "No wonder he's our rebel," he teased and laughed again when she playfully smacked his abdomen.

"Go to sleep," she said, resting her head on his chest, "I've got a hellish day tomorrow."

"Sing to me."

She arched her brow, "What am I? A jukebox? I think not, Olivia doesn't sing," she informed him.

"Yes you do… I hear you all the time. You sing at church you sing to the babies and Isaac and what's this, I hear about you singing with Sam on the way home from school?"

"Alright," she exhaled, "we've got to teach that boy to stop selling us out."

Elliot laughed, kissed her lips softly and nuzzled her nose, "Sing me something."

"El!" she groaned, "No, I don't sing. Stop," she smiled. "Come on, I need sleep."

"Sing me something and I'll let you sleep."

She huffed out a breath of air and groaned, "Fine." Lamely and completely off tune she entertained him, "Twinkle Twinkle litte-"

"Alright, alright, I get the hint," he chuckled, "Never mind."

She laughed, "I won."

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"Baby," Paul whispered as he knelt next to the bed, the morning light illuminating his wife, "wake up."

Casey opened her eyes with a groan and moved to turn her back to him. Fed up, Paul pulled her quickly up so she was sitting, and despite her resistance and fighting arms, he pulled her into a hug and kept her locked in it until, after several minutes, she gave up fighting and started crying, "I don't want to go."

"It's gonna be okay, Casey," he whispered as he rubbed her back, "it's gonna be okay. You said it yourself, you can't be disbarred… it'll be okay."

"That's before I knew everything!" she snapped. "They can do anything to me… I'll never step foot in a court room again!"

"Casey!" he shook her shoulders hard to get her to snap out of this blackness she seemed entirely too comfortable in, "Casey! You're gonna go in there, you're gonna tell them the truth about what happened and why you did it and then you and I are gonna deal with the rest!"

"I'M SCARED!" she hollered and shoved him hard in his chest. He simply went back to her, softer and embraced her as he sat next to her.

"I know you are baby, but… Olivia and Alex are gonna be there right? You told them, it's today?"

She shook her head miserably, "No. I told them it wouldn't be for months."

"Case," he groaned, "why? They would want to be here for you."

"I don't," she exhaled and shook her head, "I don't… I don't want them to see me fall."

"Casey, they'd want to be here. I know they would."

"No," she whispered, "No… I have to do this alone."

"No," he said softy and tilted her face to him, "baby, you don't have to do it alone. I'll be there with you no matter what happens… please stop pushing me away, please? I need you next to me. I need our son back home… please, Casey. I'm begging you. I'm begging you to please let me go through this with you. I'm your husband and I want to be with you, please?"

Her face crumbled and she sobbed, willingly leaning into his embrace, "I don't' know what to do. I'm so scared, and I'm so worried… I don't have anything to fall back on-"

He pulled her back, tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her temple letting his lips linger against her skin, "Then fall back on me… please?"

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"We're never gonna find our answer like this," Carp exhaled and tossed his pencil on the desk.

"Like what?" Olivia muttered over her folder.

"Like this," he motioned to the mess of files between them and then nodded to Mac and Fin, "like that… everyone stuck in their own file, that's not how you find patterns."

Olivia arched her brow, "That's not what our solve rate says."

He groaned, "I can't think this way… it's too cluttered!"

"Quick," Mac chirped, "someone get a pacifier, the babies gonna blow!"

"Hardie har har, you're just too funny," Carp deadpanned, "What are you guys looking through anyway?"

"Neighbors accounts of noise," Fin muttered, "waiting for-"

"Me," Melinda smiled lugging an evidence box of files with her and tossing them up on Fin's desk, "here you go."

"Wow, Melinda," Olivia teased, "Uh, just how many trees did you take out for your report?"

Melinda laughed, "Enough. I think I have carpel tunnel from the typing… took forever but this is what you need and it's basically nothing."

"How is all of _that_ nothing?" Mac asked as Carp began to dig into the files immediately.

"No DNA, no fingerprints, no nada," she shrugged, "It took forever to get the tests back on the materials used… the perp is pretty intelligent, used everyday things so we couldn't track it."

"Material?" Olivia tilted her head in curiosity.

"There were notes found in some on the victims-"

"In?" Carp furrowed his brow, "Wow. Dude, that's gross."

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Paul waited nervously for Casey to exit the double doors. The lone sound of his shoes clicking against the linoleum as he paced, was his only comfort and it wasn't comforting. If Casey got disbarred, she would be humiliated, she would see herself as a failure and she would never pull out of it. It would be too much and Paul knew it. He prayed silently, much liked he'd been praying since this whole thing came slamming down on their shoulders.

The minutes turned into a hour which laid the way for another and then another… and another, until eventually he heard the door open and watched as various people in over priced attire and expensive brief cases filed out. No Casey.

He exhaled, waited until there were no other people walking out of the room, and gently opened the door to see one blond haired woman sitting by herself in what appeared to be the seat that she and her legal team sat during the hearings. From what she'd told him it wasn't a court trial so much as it was her boss presenting the reason why she should be disbarred and her and one or two attorneys she'd known, but wouldn't tell him about, presented the reason's as to why she did it, citing laws and similar acts by attorney's who were very much able to keep their ability to practice law.

He walked to her, knowing full well she could hear his dress shoes against the floor, his unhurried, almost timid steps were sure to announce his arrival before he actually got to her. He stood next to long table she sat at and saw a single tear track grace her cheek. He couldn't tell if it was shock of happy relief or painful humiliation. For Casey, the inability to practice law would be like having a baby ripped from the womb.

She sniffled, continued to stare straight ahead as he sat next to her and remained silent, giving her the chance to deliver her good news… or bad news. She swiped at her tear, "I took my oath in this room… this _exact_ room."

He covered her hand with his and rubbed her knuckles lightly, "Was it… did it comfort you? Help you to be back here?"

"It's ironic."

"What is?"

She looked up at him, her eyes dead, her lips curled into a sad smile, she scoffed as more tears fell, "That I would take my oath in this room and years later… be disbarred."

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Three days after seeing the man he thought was Richard White, Elliot stared at his son in horror, "Your mother. Is going. To kill me," he groaned and tossed the phone onto the bed before kneeling in front of Isaac who was laughing with a pair of cordless hair clippers in his hands, the buzzing sound not racing nearly as fast as Elliot's heart was. Elliot ran his hand over the sloppily bald line down the center of Isaac's hair, "She's gonna murder me," he muttered and finally took the clippers from his son and turned them off. He exhaled and stared at his son with the reversed Mohawk effect. He'd somehow gotten to the clippers and took a clean sweep straight down the center of his head. Elliot groaned, "I'm so dead."

Isaac grinned and patted his head, "Sam Sam!"

"Wrong, monkey," Elliot winced seeing the blond hair all over their bedroom floor and Olivia had just called to tell him she was picking up milk at the corner market which was only a mile away, she'd be home any minute, "you just gave us a death sentence, son."

"El!" Olivia's voice carried into the back of the house as the front door opened and closed, "El! I'm home… where is everyone?"

Elliot moved quickly through the laundry he'd just folded before laying Solomon and Hannah down to sleep and answering her phone call, which apparently, was exactly how long it took for Isaac to attempt his own rendition of fashion. He heard the refrigerator door close and the depositing of her weapon in the foyer drawer. "El? You asleep? I got off kind of early-" she stopped mid sentence and furrowed her brow at Elliot and Isaac who sat on the bed… each with boxers over their heads as if they were hats, the waistbands just above their brows as the short legs stood up, "Uh… what exactly. Do I want to know?"

"Uh, crazy hat day," Elliot offered lamely, "Yeah, uh, Isaac here thought it would be cool for me to have a hat… so uh… I gave him a hat too… you know, equality."

Olivia arched a brow and took a cursory glance around the room, "You're up to something," she muttered.

"Am not," he protested.

"Elliot," she said softly as she continued to browse over the dresser, the bed and shelves, "the only time Isaac sits that still is when he's been up to no good and knows he's in trouble… and he gets that from you… what happened?" she asked when she couldn't find anything out of place and then she suddenly gasped.

Elliot groaned remembering that while he had enough since to shove the clippers under the mattress, he'd forgotten the pick up the locks of blond hair from the floor. She knelt in front of them and picked up one of the locks and immediately turned to Isaac, who's mouth was just like his father, a perfect 'O'.

"Uh oh," Isaac chirped and grinned.

"El?" she looked at her husband, "is this, what I think it is?"

Elliot took the boxers off of his own head and exhaled, "I took my eyes off of him for all of five minutes."

"Elliot," she groaned, "he can take over the world in five minutes!"

"Well," he exhaled as she removed the boxers from Isaac's head, "he uh… may want to invest in the hair club for men… you know… uh, gain that business tycoon look." He swallowed hard.

Olivia stared at her son. His blue eyes with doe specs those perfect lips, her nose. He had his father's ears and apparently his father's curiosity that always led to trouble. Her lips curled into a smile and she let out a chuckle and sob all at once, "Honey," she began to laugh when she rested her hands around Isaac's tiny hips and leaned her forehead to his, "baby, what did you do to your hair?"

He patted it and grinned, "Sam Sam!"

She laughed sitting back on her heels, "Not exactly, baby, in fact, not at all."

She stood and sat next to Elliot after picking Isaac up. She sat him on her lap and chuckled as he looked up at her, "You're like a science project gone bad monkey," she teased, running her hand over his damaged locks.

"You're not upset with me?" Elliot asked quietly.

"Upset?" she asked looking over Isaac's head as he laid into her chest, "No… it'll grow back. I was gonna trim it this weekend, but uh… looks like he beat me to it."

Elliot exhaled and tossed himself back on the bed, "I just about popped a vein when I saw him, and you should have seen that mischievous little grin he had. He was so happy about the new look."

She laid down next to Elliot and let Isaac lay between them, "El… four kids, it's hard to keep an eye on them all at the same time, but can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Was he quiet, when he wasn't in sight?"

He furrowed his brow, "Yeah, now that you mention it… he was the only one up, I was laying the babies down."

She chuckled, "El… when he's quiet… he's up to no good and you must find him, immediately."

He laughed, "Yeah, I get that, now."

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"Phone," Elliot grumbled into Olivia's neck as he held her.

"I'm on a boycott," she muttered through sleep.

"It's your's," he nudged her, "answer it."

"No… Carp is picking up my slack. I'm good for another two hours."

The phone continued to ring and then stopped.

"See," she muttered and turned to nestle closer into his body, "Carp listens. Unlike you... you'd just keep calling at all hours."

He chuckled weekly and held her tighter under the warmth of the comforter. His phone rang.

"Phone," she teased tangling her feet with his, "answer it. This always happens to us. Answer it. Get it over with," she groaned.

"Na," he kissed her cheek, "I'm a pencil pusher now. There's nothing important on the other line."

She chuckled and rested her hand on his hips, letting her pinky and ring finger find its way into his waistband as she absently rubbed the skin she found. His phone stopped ringing. "Well," she whispered, "I'm up. You're up. Kids are asleep… hmmm, what to do with the time?" she mused.

He grinned, both still keeping their eyes closed until the house phone rang and they both groaned, reaching for the phone, neither wanting the babies to wake up. He reached over her and grabbed it, "Stablers, this is uh… me," he exhaled in such an exhausted state he couldn't even give a proper greeting, "Alex?" he sat up, slowly, "hold on… slow down… yeah… you're kidding? No, I didn't read the paper… she's on her way."

"Oh no," Olivia sat up, "No… the baby?"

"No," she shook his head and looked at her as he held the phone still between them, "Liv, there's a jumper."

She flopped back in bed, "Why'd they call us?"

He swallowed, "I'll stay with the kids," he whispered and looked at her, praying that she wouldn't make him tell her.

"El?" she furrowed her brow and sat up on her elbows. "What's wrong? Who's the jumper?"

"Did you read the paper today?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head, "didn't have time… did you?"

"No… you didn't hear anything at work?"

"We've been locked in an interrogation room for the past several days, trying to piece together these murders," she reached out and touched his forearm, "what's going on, El?"

"It's… Casey, Liv."

"Casey?" She furrowed her brows, "In the paper?"

"Yeah," he nodded unwilling to break her heart with anything else, "Paul is freaking out."

Olivia mulled the information over and looked up at him sharply, "No," she shook her head and quickly jumped out of bed making her way to the living room and pulling the newspaper off of the coffee table. She took the rubber band off and straightened it just as Elliot made his way into the hall with her clothes. She gasped and slammed the paper down on the coffee table, "She said six months!"

"Alex said… she didn't want anyone to know."

"I swear," Olivia hissed in anger and fear as she began to strip and change in the living room, "if she doesn't jump. I'm gonna push her."

"Liv… be easy on her… she's not talking to Paul or the negotiator or Alex."

"Negotiator!" she stared at him with wide eyes as she zipped her pants, "How many? How many cops are swarming her right now?"

"Probably a lot."

She pulled a shirt over her head and flicked her hair out of the back, "Call Cragen for me, tell him to contact the on scene commander and get the cops away from her, where is she?"

"Brooklyn bridge."

"Bridge?" Olivia shook her head and quickly shoved her feet into shoes without concern for socks, "Tell Sam, I had to go to work?"

"Absolutely," Elliot whispered and kissed her softly, "it'll be okay, Liv… it will."

"She's been under so much stress," she shook her head; "this is my fault. I told her to never keep anything from me… and look what's happened."

"It was her choice… she knew what was rested in the balance. She weighed it and she made her decision."

She kissed him quickly on the corner of his mouth and stepped out of the house. He exhaled slumping down onto the couch and picking up the paper groaning at the headline "Novak Surprised: Disbarred!"

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"Carp?" Olivia questioned in surprise as she stopped to catch her breath behind what few cops remained.

"One and only… Elliot called Cragen, Cragen called me to head down here, 'till you got here."

Olivia looked around, "Where is she?"

"There," he said softly and pointed.

The once proud ADA sat precariously on the edge of the bridge, her legs drawn up to her chest. Never had Olivia seen Casey so broken, not when she'd arrived at her home drunk, not when she'd wept bitterly at her daughters grave and not when Paul had walked out on her again.

"Where's Paul?" she asked.

"Uh," Carp looked around, "There… next to the blond."

Alex appeared to be offering Paul as much of a shoulder to lean on as possible. He was frantic as tears streamed out of his eyes. A uniformed officer standing close.

"He kept bolting back to her, to Casey, and the officers were scared it would make things worse," Carp explained, "especially because she wasn't responding so well to him. Uh, they say she's been up here for about two hours now… she's got to be freezing."

Olivia thought as quickly as possible, assessed Casey's position and how she could approach her safely without causing one of them to plummet to their death. She spotted a familiar uniform sipping coffee and moved to him and removed if from his hand, "Thank you," she said with a tight smile. He was about to protest and realized it was the detective he'd seen multiple times.

"You're welcome."

"Those too."

"Uh-"

"Now," she said in irritation, "let's go."

He reluctantly handed her the item and exhaled as she turned from him and cautiously made her way to the broken friend on the bridge, "Case," Olivia called out, "Casey, it's Liv."

Casey stared ahead and in the pale morning light Olivia could see the steady stream of tears across her cheek, "Casey… say something. Can I come to you?"

Casey said nothing and stretched her neck to lean against the stanchion of the bridge, "Casey… you've got to be freezing. I got you coffee… can I give it to you?"

Casey offered silence and Olivia signaled to the negotiator that she'd never seen before that she would be walking to her. He gave her a tight nod and Olivia cleared her throat, "I'm uh… Casey, I'm gonna walk over to you, but It's just me," she assured her, trying to establish some sort of trust, some sort of reason why her best friend should talk to her. Why she shouldn't be on this bridge in the first place, "Remember all of the cops that were here awhile ago?" she asked, taking timid steps to her and switching the coffee to her left hand.

Casey said nothing but did give a gentle nod of her head as she continued to stare out over the water.

"I called Cragen and he pulled strings, Casey… he sent them away. I did that for you because you're my friend and I love you Case."

Casey took a deep breath, let it out slowly and gripped the cement she sat on. Olivia's heart raced. She was gonna jump. She was actually gonna do it. "Casey," Olivia called to her again, "stay… I just, I just want to have some coffee with you. Maybe you can tell me why your out here in the cold, huh?"

Olivia was one maybe two feet from her, "I've got the coffee and the time… I've got all the time you need, Casey… just, come on Casey, take the damn coffee." Olivia's voice broke, "Please?"

Casey did exactly what Olivia had hoped for, she raised her hand up, palm facing Olivia to accept the coffee, but continued to sit and stare. Carefully, Olivia adjusted the metal in her right hand knowing she had one shot to get this right or she would see her friend plummet to the water and if she were lucky, die on impact. Surely no one would want to survive a fall like that, a fall that was sure to break every bone in her petite body.

Olivia placed the Styrofoam cup in Casey's hand, waited until she felt her fingers flex to grip it and then quickly grabbed Casey's wrist with her left hand, bringing her right hand around and quickly securing a pair of handcuffs, that she'd already secured to herself, onto her wrist. Casey startled, dropped the coffee and cursed, "Got her!" Olivia barked to the crowd and saw Paul visibly melt against Alex in relief.

"How could you!" Casey shrieked and pulled on the cuffs.

Olivia carefully but just as quickly swung her leg over the banister and quickly sat, "You jump and you take me with you," she said matter of factly, "that's what friends do right?… They stay with each other through thick and thin… until the end. We'll," Olivia shrugged, "This is the end… let's go… let's jump, come on," she egged her on.

"You shouldn't be here," Casey snapped.

"Either should you!" Olivia said in anger and hurt and frustration, "Casey," she lowered her voice, "what about Paul? Addison? Was your job more important than them?"

"I want to die."

"Yeah," Olivia raised their join wrist, "Well, I don't. So, either your taking me down with you… or I'm taking you off this bridge with me, but whatever it is, we're doing it together."

Casey moved her free hand and swiped at her tears, "I messed up."

Olivia exhaled knowing full well, this was just the start of Casey's problems, there would be a mandatory psych evaluation, trip to the hospital, a seventy-two hour stay in the mental ward, "That's an understatement, Casey… but it's fixable. This isn't set in stone, you can walk off of this bridge and still know that you've got a husband and young son who want you home."

"Will he?" Casey whispered, "Will Paul still want me? After all of this… after the things I've told him? After pushing him away… trying to make him leave. Will he still want me?"

Olivia pressed her lips together, "Yeah, he will and do you now how I know that? Because, on my way over here, he's called me sixteen times begging and pleading with me to do whatever I could to get you off of this bridge and back home to him… come on Casey, this isn't your style. You're a fighter, not a coward."

"My son… he doesn't respond to me."

"Then take this time that you have… and build a better relationship with him Casey… that's what you have to do. Elliot and I spend time alone with each of our children, just one on one. It's not quantity, its quality, Casey… and maybe you've let your job run your life, maybe you need to step back… but don't step off." Olivia said, pointing out across the water and suddenly realizing just how high up they were. She groaned, "Geeze, Case… think you picked a high enough bridge."

"You took my gun," she said humorlessly.

Olivia nodded, "Yeah… good thing I did. You lied to me, Casey."

"I was going to do it… before the proceedings… I knew it was gonna go bad. I could feel it, you know?"

"So you took things into your own hands? Forsook your family? Casey," she lowered her voice into compassion, "honey, I know you love those two guys with everything you've got… come on, you two were separated for so long and you kept loving each other… Casey, Paul wants you home, in your house, in your bed next to him, with your son… he wants you. Addison is in love with you, he just… he needs more of you for him to realize it. Don't leave him, Casey… don't you be the kind of mother that walks out on her little boy, don't be the wife that walks out on her husband. Fight this!" she commanded with a shack of their joined hands, "You've got to fight this, and when you're tired of fighting…. Keep fighting, 'because we're all in your corner… all of us."

"I…" Casey shook her head and sobbed.

Olivia reached over with her free hand and pulled her close, "Come home, Casey. Come home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wake up," Elliot whispered into Olivia's ear as she slept on one of the crib's lower bunks.

She groaned, "No."

"Wake up, honey," he smiled and kissed her mouth gently, surprised when she took him into a desperate kiss. Five hours, it had taken her five hours to get Casey off of that bridge. It had taken another seven hours before she was told that she had been processed in the hospital and was in the psych ward for a mandatory observation period. Paul at her side. She'd went to sleep an hour ago, too tired to drive home. Too lost to do anything but fall into the mattress.

"Liv," he whispered trying to break free of her grasp.

She whimpered, chased his lips, to the point of having to sit and cup his skull to hold him still as her hand pulled his dress shirt out of his pants, "Liv… what's wrong?" he panted torn between being completely turned on and being concerned with her sudden aggressiveness. Not that he minded the aggressiveness.

"Stressed," she muttered against his lips and continued kneading the flesh of his waist.

"We're gonna get into trouble," he whispered. "We're in the crib."

She groaned, rested her head against his, "I need you… I feel so… lost and out of control right now."

"Why?" he whispered, stroking her back, "Tell me? How is Casey?"

"In the hospital for a psych observation," she exhaled still keeping him close to her, "I asked Cragen to call you."

"Carp did… he filled me in, told me you were here."

"The kids?"

"Chloe, actually… they're just a few blocks away. I wanted to come and pick you up and take you home. I know you're tired."

She shook her head and sniffled, "I can't… we're onto something in this case… I can feel it. Carp has been studying it and looking for clues for days on end. He's a machine," she smiled sadly and pursed her lips to kiss him again. Her kiss was sex and heat and desire all folded into a velvet caress. He moaned and pulled away, "We're gonna get out of control."

"I told you," she shook her head, "I'm already there," she panted, "I can't think straight. I'm tired. I miss you and the kids and you should have seen Casey… I never in a million years thought she was capable of something like that."

"Me neither, but… she's had a rough couple of times, I'm sure she feels overwhelmed."

Olivia shook her head in agreement and began to push him back. Along the aisle that separated the bunk until they were in a corner formed by the wall and an unused bunk bed, "El… please?"

"Liv… we can get in a lot of trouble-"

"I don't care," she shook her head firmly, "I don't… I just… I need to. Please don't tell me you don't want me. Please don't."

"You know I want you," he whispered rubbing into her and turning her so she was against the wall, "Liv," he groaned when she pulled his hips into her, "you can feel that I want you."

She brought her hands up to cup his face, she kissed him hot and long and tore away gasping for air, "Let me have you? Please? I don't… I feel… I just, I need you."

He went back to her lips, kissing her as hungrily as she kissed him and quickly tugged her shirt out of her pants, unbuckling them and bringing them down to her thighs. She toed off a shoe as she frantically kissed his mouth and kicked out of one pant leg. He dropped his own pants and stepped into her, both vaguely aware of the hustle and bustle of the surroundings outside of the crib, the ringing phones, the chattering detectives.

"Please," she panted, between kisses, "I just need you." She pulled him from the slit in his boxers and stroked his firm length before guiding him to her entrance. He stepped into her again as she raised one leg to his hip and he slipped easily into her. He exhaled feeling her heat as he kissed her hot on the mouth, nipped her lip and grinned.

Definitely one of his fantasies he never had the nerve to stick in his box.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him deeper into her body with her leg. She moaned, throwing her head back against the wall and gasping as he pulled out and quickly thrust back in, "Don't scream," he reminded her, "you can't."

She licked her lips, nodded her head in acknowledgement, "Please move… make me come."

He grinned and moved, testing his boundaries, after that night with her, when he held her and thrust into her. He moved faster inside of her, placed one hand on her hip, as the other tangled her hair into a fist. He labored, grunting in her ear as she held on to him, "It's got to be quick," he panted, "I'm sorry."

She stretched her leg from his hip to the lower rail of the bunk bed, widening the cradle of her hips for him, "Its okay," she assured him and lowered her hands to the globes of his butt, pulling him deeper into her body. He hissed, moving his hand from her hip to her thigh and moving as fast as his body would allow. He kept careful thoughts in his mind so that only she would come. He kissed her, the heat of his breath intoxicating. She tore away, drug her teeth along his jaw line before resting her forehead on his shoulder and watching him move in and out of her body. "Touch me. Please?"

He moved his hand from her thigh, still holding her head with his other hand, and stroked her. Seeing his hand and his body moving over her sent her into sensory overload as she whimpered, biting her bottom lip to keep the cries in. She allowed her head to roll back again, shut her eyes tight as she felt him graze her with his finger tip, move in and out of her body with his own and thrust once more so that he was on the tips of his toes. He held the position as she dug her nails into the small of his back.

He saw her breathing turn rampant, her flesh warm and become flush, felt the pain of her nails in his skin and so he continued to hold the position, stroke her faster and thrust slightly harder from where he was, until he felt her teeth in his shoulder as she came, her body contracting over his, urging him to come inside of her to which he promptly thought of something else to keep himself from doing so.

She panted, tried to catch her breath as her muscles continued to pulse around him. He had to get out of her heat or he was going to be in trouble. She held onto him as soon as he went to move. Finally, she opened her eyes, a mixture of satisfaction and confusion swam freely, "What's wrong?" she asked him moving her leg from the bed back to his hip.

"Nothing," he smiled, "just trying to get rid of some of your stress."

"But," she shook her head still looking at him, "you didn't-"

"I just… we'd both be in a mess if I did. I want to but, I think we mi-"

She arched her brow, pulled him into her with her leg and locked eyes with him, "Might what?" she asked seductively, "Hmm? Tell me?"

"Liv," he quipped with a tight voice, bracing his hand on the wall next to her, "Oh, baby don't do that."

She pulled his hips away gently and then brought him back to her, "Do what?"

"Liv… not here," he groaned and slowly withdrew himself from her, "come home… tonight, I'll give you whatever you want."

She licked her lips, nodded in agreement as he bent low to help her with her pants. He buckled them for her as he kissed her gently, slowly coaxing her body down from the sensation of climax and desire to calm and control.

"What are you gonna do with that?" she whispered and motioned to his still rock hard erection. She ran her finger along him to which he quickly whimpered and pulled her hand away.

"Give me awhile… I'll be out, whenever."

She grinned, tucked in her shirt and wiped the lipstick off of his lips, "Thank you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You really don't sleep do you?" Carp chuckled as Olivia made her way to her desk and flopped down.

_Mental note Olivia, if you're tired, making love to your husband against the wall, in a rush, is not the way to gain more energy… but it was certainly a fun experiment. _She smirked to herself and opened a file.

"What's with the smirk?"

"Huh?" she looked at him quickly not prepared for the question and tried to shift gears, "you the only one here?"

"Yep, Mac and Fin got time off. They're dying for sleep, haven't had a day off since this case started…The smirk… what's up?" he asked standing and studying the white board in front of him.

"Nothing… just tired."

"Yeah," he grinned, "sex against the wall in the crib can do that to you."

Her jaw went slack as quick as her brows met her hairline, "I wasn't- I mean, we didn-"

"Oh, please," he rolled his eyes, "could hear you a mile away, Benson… good thing it's just me. Do you know what Fin and Mac can do to you with that kind of teasing material?"

She couldn't hide the blush that crept up from her neck into her cheeks, "Please tell me your kidding."

He laughed as he moved pictures around with magnets on the whiteboard, "Yeah, I'm kidding… about you being loud anyway… you two were actually sort of quiet considering it had to have been spontaneous sex."

She didn't know what to do, but suddenly wished Casey would have pulled her off of that bridge. She exhaled at the guilt for thinking such a thought but then, suddenly realized something, "You watched!" she hissed in anger.

"Whoa!" he turned quickly to her and held up his hands in defense, "Calm down there, Cujo. I didn't watch!" he told her taking a look around to make sure that at the evening hour they were still the only ones there.

She folded her arms demanding an explanation.

"I… crap Benson, I was tired. I've been running this case and studying it and practically eating and breathing it. I wanted ten minutes! I walked in, heard some muffled sounds and I was about to say something and I saw you."

She groaned, "How embarrassing."

"But I swear!" he said quickly, almost defensively, "As soon as I realized… I got the heck out of there… that's all I need is Elliot knowing I saw that, and I'm screwed."

She chuckled, "That's what you're worried about? Elliot?"

"Hell. Yes." He smiled softly, "Benson, for the record, I didn't see anything, I just sort of… well you know-"

"Okay," she exhaled, "lets talk about something else… what do you got on the murders?"

"They're related. Conclusively. I bet my comic collection on it."

She stood beside him looking at his web of notes and post its and pictures, "I can't believe you just said that."

"Laugh now, Benson, I have Amazing Spiderman number 129 in a 9.0 condition, that's unheard of."

"Really," she raised her brows in sarcastic interest, "I have Amazing Family number 1 at home in waiting condition… can you tell me what you got?"

"I see patience isn't your virtue."

She smirked, "Sometimes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot locked the car door to the SVU and was just about to make his way into Chloe's building when his body stopped dead in its tracks. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and his heart raced as he slowly turned to the left and stared in confusion and anger at the man staring back at him from the bus stop.

In a moment his wife and children flash in his mind and he suddenly found himself moving through a mob of pedestrians walking by, "Hey!" he yelled out to the man, "Hey!" he called in anger reaching for his gun and suddenly bolting down the sidewalk, "Get out of the way!" he yelled as he sprinted, his shoes pounding the pavement as his heart began to beat and thud against him.

He collided with a cyclist, went stumbling head over foot, keeping a firm grip on his weapon as soon as his mind registered he'd be eating cement. He groaned getting back to his feet as the cyclist cursed at him and eventually got back on the bike and sped off. He continued running just as the bus pulled up along the curb.

The man smiled at him, waved and simply stepped onto the bus as Elliot sprinted faster, lungs burning for air, only to arrive just as the bus pulled away from the curb. He panted, bent over and struggled for breath. He pulled out his cell phone, hit speed dial, "Yeah," he breathed hard, "This… this is Lt…. Uh, Lt. Stabler… was he on Sussex and Ninth?"

"No, Lieutenant, he wasn't and this really needs to stop," The parole officer snapped. "I did a favor to Casey because she's a personal friend, but so far as I can see I owe you crap and this is borderline harassment-"

"Harassment!" Elliot yelled into the phone as he holstered his weapon, "Harassment! You want to know what harassment is? Its when you don't sleep at night because your scared you're gonna wake up and your wife is gonna be murdered!" he yelled into the phone as on lookers began to look at the crazy man, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, yelling in pure anger into the phone.

"Harassment," he continued, "Is when you're scared to death that you're gonna go to pick up your son from school… and find out that Richard White got to him! Harassment is when you dream that you pick your kids up form their sitter's only to see that they've been slaughtered! That's harassment you sonovabitch! Now tell me where he was!"

"Lieutenant… you really need to relax, maybe take some time off of wo-"

"Relax," Elliot laughed, covering the top of his head with his hand and moving in a full tight circle as people stared, "Relax… you want me to relax. This man is a murderer and I don't know why he got out… but so help me, I swear to you on everything I hold holy-" Elliot stopped as soon as he heard the click on the other side of the line.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alright," Carp smiled, "the pizza is here, let's start with the first victim."

Olivia grabbed a slice and nodded for him to start. She took a bite and mumbled, "You're on Sherlock."

"Victim number one," he said, pointing to the picture of a male, "Mac and Fin are meticulous creatures… and I can read their handwriting," he teased.

"Keep, talking," she said around another bite, "you might end up with your teeth in your pocket."

"Alright, this is what we've got 35 year old Larry Ville, banker," Carp said as he began to pace and read her his notes. "Looks like Mr. Ville made an average New Yorker's salary, was single, which is probably why he actually had money," he chuckled, "no kids. No enemies according to the family members that Fin interviewed."

"Motive?"

"Don't know."

"Then why are we going over this if we don't have motive?"

"Work with me Benson," he shook his head and smirked, "ready for number two?"

"Not really… as I recall it was particularly disgusting. Wait. The file said there was a note… what's our theory on that?" she asked picking up a copy of a file and starting to follow along with him.

"Ah, the note," he muttered looking around his desk and pulling up a print out, squinting at it, "it says, "Life is precious. Life is a breath. You thought you won with his death."

Olivia popped an Excedrin into her mouth and exhaled, "Great, a regular Doctor Seuss… whose death?"

"Absolutely no idea, I ran a check and practically went through his family tree branch by branch, there's been no deaths that were suspicious… the guy is clean but he was definitely posed."

Olivia looked at a copy of the photograph and winced, "No kidding."

"There was no rape… he's not elderly, I think that he was posed in this manner to get SVU pulled in on it."

Olivia nodded, made notes in a notebook, "Alright, give me number two."

"Elena Saldana," he exhaled, "the most disgusting thing I've ever seen."

"Facts," she reminded him, "focus on just the facts."

He shook his head, "It was a fact, this dude is sick in the head… but uh, number two, like I was saying. Irma Saldana, thirty-three, a teacher at a highly respected private school, both breast removed at the scene… body… skinned."

"Skinned?"

"Yeah, according to the M.E. hot water was used along with a surgical device that melts through tissue… that's why it was so well done."

"Great," Olivia exhaled we got a poet who likes to operate."

"Speaking of poet," he exhaled, "did you read where the note was in this particular case?"

Her breast hurt just thinking about it. She looked away and quickly gathered her thoughts, "Just under the areola, right?" she asked looking about for a copy of the picture, "Yeah, right here, Donovan said that he removed the stitches and it was literally like a spring that shot out with the note attached… this is like some crazy horror movie that doesn't add up," she exhaled and looked at the clock.

"You two having sex when you get home?"

Shocked, she starred at him, "My love life isn't any of your business."

He smirked, "Then stop looking at the cock, I mean clock every five minutes."

She laughed, "You know, you're just a little more brash then I normally care for."

"Ah, you like it."

"Not really," she teased, "alright, what's the synopsis on number two?"

"Same thing… nothing. She wasn't raped, she wasn't posed sexually, but her breast were removed prompting SVU again."

"And the note… what was it?"

"Um," he flipped through the file, "Ah, yes. It said, Endless joy of the breast. Endless joy of the rest. Now you've been put to the test."

"Who has?"

"Beats me," he exhaled and rubbed his eyes.

"How long you been up?" she asked out of curiosity.

"I don't know… a few days… a power nap here and there."

"Few days," she nodded and smiled, "you're just getting warmed up then… What's number three?"

He stared down at his file and exhaled shaking his head, "An innocent little girl."

Olivia saw the pain in his eyes and decided to give him a few seconds to regain his thoughts. He looked at her, "She could have grown up to be spectacular, really daring you know? Beautiful, and he robbed her of that."

"Carp," she said softly, "the facts… focus on those, that's the only way you can get through the little ones."

He exhaled, opened the file again, "Irene Duarte. Three months. Reported missing four hours before we found her."

"Cause of death?"

"Poisoning."

"With?"

"Looks like… ethanol glycol."

Olivia exhaled, lowered her head and stared at the photo of the infant in front of her. She could have just as well have been Hannah. She struggled to keep her tears at bay.

"Benson," Carp said softly, "we all know the cases you've been assigned to. We all read about the antifreeze poisonings in the paper… this guy probably got the idea, it was in the press so much, they were even telling people ways to get rid of the green dye. Don't let that shake you."

She looked up, "It doesn't," she said sharply, "that's in the past, that guys been put away and out of my life for a long time and his wife his dead, the only person left is his son and daughter, both of which I know and care deeply for."

"I know," he said softly, "I know… we talked to her today, actually really early. She's got a little boy-"

"He's her brother."

"Yeah," Carp smiled "He'll be spectacular, I know it… she told us everything about the case, gave us court papers… it's clear. It's got nothing to do with them, its coincidence."

"Yeah," she bit her bottom lip and exhaled, "Okay… um, was there a note?"

"Scribbled onto her pamper… apparently this guy has a soft spot for the little ones."

Dryly she snipped, "Spectacular."

"No!" he turned to her quickly. "No, spectacular is for people born and destined to _be_ spectacular, to be brilliant and beautiful, it's not for those who feed off of the slime in the gutters. Spectacular isn't for this guy, it's for the innocent guys, for the babies who don't have anyone to protect them, that are thrust upo-"

"Carp." Olivia smiled softly and snapped her fingers, "Is there an off button? I'm sorry, I didn't know you were so attached to the word."

He exhaled and turned back to the board, "Language, the words we speak with. It's the window to someone else's' mind."

"And that's why these riddles are keeping you up… 'cause you can't figure this guy out?"

"Exactly," he muttered pulling for another paper, "Alright, it was scribbled on her pamper in a sharpie marker. Purple to be exact, 'Innie, Minnie, Miney, Moe catch the babies by the toe'."

"So… he changes vic type on us? Goes from adult to infant? Why? That's not consistent with a serial killer."

"No it's not," he muttered, "The victim is a baby, not sexually posed, but because it's a baby, SVU is called in."

She narrowed her eyes at him, scribbled more notes into her note book and nodded, "Four?"

"Baby boy," he whispered, "Two months old, reported missing six hours before Mac and Fin found him, buried alive, in the snow," he swallowed, "it, would have been… a slow death for him. Agonizing."

"Facts. Don't fill my head with that… I've got my own little ones and every time I see these pictures it rips my heart out. Facts. That's what we work with right now, okay?" she asked gently.

"Yeah," he exhaled, "Uh, looks like his name was Lucas Rowhead."

"Cause of death-never mind," she exhaled making more scribbles in her note pad, "Note?"

"Yeah, scribbled… on his chest, blue sharpie."

"Says?"

"Little baby boy. Once a mothers Pride and Joy. Little baby boy. No more joy."

She rubbed her eyes, "Just gets worse and worse."

"Yeah… Benson, I've stared at this stuff for days. The same stuff. Its here I know it is. I just don't see it."

"It happens. I've been starring at this stuff right along with you and let me tell you… it's all Greek to me. It makes no since. Cragen is pulling out his remaining hairs, Mac is just flat out turning grumpy and Fin… well, Fin is generally grumpy so, lets just say its worse… this perp is keeping us all up and I just want sleep."

"Amen sister," he exhaled, "Ready for number five?"

"No, nor will I ever be. Lay it on me."

"Terrance Michales, four years old, belongs to a fairly well to do family in queens. Reported missing twelve hours before Mac and Fin found him."

"Cause of death?"

"Strangulation, the odd thing on this one was… coffee was spilt all over his body."

"Cup near by? DNA?"

"Zilch… surrounding area was spotless."

She exhaled, "Note?" she asked writing away on her notepad. When he didn't respond she looked up at him, "Was there a note, Carp?"

He swallowed, "Yeah. Yeah there was a note."

"Where?"

"His stomach."

"Sharpie?"

"No… you don't understand." He shook his head and handed her the M.E. report, "Melinda brought it to us, I don't think you've seen this one."

She took the file, looked it over and gasped, "He made him swallow it."

"No, not exactly… looks like the stomach's last contents were, uh… inserted, surgically if you will, into his stomach."

Olivia groaned, "We got to find this guy, Carp. We got to find him before he keeps going."

"I know," he said somberly.

"Note?"

"It said, uh" he flipped through another file on his desk, "said, 'Tick, tock. The vessels about to dock. Tick tock it's been a pleasure to stalk."

Her eyes widened, "He stalked, then killed?"

"Maybe he's getting sloppy? Giving us too many clues?"

Olivia nodded, "Sooner or later, he'll drop DNA and we'll nail him."

"and last but not least, fresh off the M.E. presses," he exhaled, "twelve year old Orlando Wu."

"Changed ethnicity on us again. Age. Sex. This guy isn't picky… cause of death?"

"Beat to death."

She looked up at him, eyes wide, "Fin didn't say anything."

"I didn't know until today either… that's actually sort of why Cragen told them to go home. I don't think… well I don't think the average detective can handle a child's death, and I don't care how elite SVU detectives are… no one can handle these."

"Fight," she said softly, "likes it's your own piece of grass."

He nodded, "Yeah," he exhaled and turned to the board muttering, "but sooner or later, everyone's grass gets mowed."

"How's the family look in this one?"

"Innocent… everyone is always so innocent," he said miserably, "everyone is innocent. Spectacular, and it takes one jerk, one villain to make everything turn to ash."

"You need sleep."

"I need this guy."

"You're obsessing."

"It's my job."

She smiled softly, "You're gonna make it… just, you've got to get through the case. Understand the information, go off of your gut and when the perp is put away… then you ask yourself the philosophical questions."

"I don't know how you separate the two."

"Sometimes I can't," she confessed, "when I looked at this picture," she said holding up the infant boy, "I thought of my son, Solomon. My daughter Hannah," she said holding up the next, and then the next, "Isaac and Samuel," she whispered holding up the last two before returning them to their proper space, "We all relate to the victims. Some way some how, they all take a piece of us, and one day we open our eyes and we realize we've nothing left to give."

"Then what do you do?"

She smiled and pointed to the picture of them all at Elliot's promotion ceremony, "I go home to my husband, make love to him, let him hold me. I hold my kids, regain my strength with their innocence and then, the next morning, I put my badge on, holster my weapon and push repeat."

He'd blushed at her honest confession, "I wasn't trying to pry."

"I know you weren't," she assured him, "I was however, trying to be honest with you… in hopes that, you'll know you can be honest with me."

He looked at her, nodded, "Maybe… but-"

"Not now," she smiled softly, "and that's okay… what did the note say?"

"Tattooed on his chest," he said gruffly, "looks more like prison ink than professional… maybe our perp was in the pen for awhile."

"Yeah," Olivia rubbed the back of her neck, "and that lead will narrow it down to half of New York."

He chuckled and then steeled looking at the typed print of what the tattoo had said, "it says, let's see… it says, 'One… two… I'm coming for you."

She exhaled, looked down at her notes and groaned, "Nothing new, Carp… how many times have we started from square one only to end up with more questions?"

"I don't know," he whispered, "but the answer is staring me right in the damn face."

"Okay," she exhaled, "we've got the information but… how do you think this is conclusive? Where's the pattern? 'Cause I don't see it, but I'll give you the notes, that I can prove."

"The pattern," he smirked and stared at the board, "Is that there is no pattern. It's not in the description of the victims its in the fact that none of them were raped, but all of them were posed or young enough that SVU would be called in. All of them were in our jurisdiction… this guy, whoever he is, he wants this unit to hunt him… the question is-"

"Why?"

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The night had been too long. She was tired but was happy to hear the report from Paul that Casey seemed to be responding well in the hospital and that the doctors where very optimistic she would be released after the required three day stay. She looked at her watch and wondered when it would ever be that she would be home at a decent hour to help Sam with his homework, to wrestle with Isaac or breast feed the babies instead of placing pumped milk into the refrigerator.

She kicked off her boots in the foyer, placed them in the hall closet and sighed at the blackened house which meant her family was asleep. Exhausted, she tossed her work bag on the counter and frowned at a bottle of children's Tylenol on the counter. Chewable tablets, which meant either Isaac or Sam needed them. One of her boys was sick and she didn't even know it because she was holed up in a precinct when she should have been at home comforting the men in her life. She exhaled and placed the bottle back into the cupboard before retreating to the boys' room, checking in on them and getting a big surprise when there were no boys there. Quickly, almost panicked, she went to the nursery to find her babies missing. She crossed the hall, flipped on the light and exhaled seeing them snuggled around their father.

It was the low growl that caught her attention. Zeus, was growling at her. Tripod raised his head, bared his teeth and snapped. She called them both into submission quickly. Elliot still had his weapon holstered on his hip. Zeus was called into a protection command. She furrowed her brow, something had freak Elliot out. Something about the kids.

"Out," she said to Tripod and then motioned for Zeus to leave. Both dogs did so and she carefully picked up the children placing them in their respective beds and, tonight, having no problems when Tripod snuggled up to Sam and Zeus jumped in Isaac's bed. Something was off, something wasn't right for Elliot to have huddled their family in their room. Surrounded by Grumpy and Psycho the dogs.

She checked on the babies one last time before returning to Elliot who had since woken up and was already standing without his shirt, taking his weapon off of his hip and placing it on his nightstand, "El?"

"Hmm? Hey," he smiled, "good to have you home."

She smiled, "I don't like being away so long. I was just so tired."

"I understand," he assured her as he dropped his pants to the floor, "come to bed?"

"Yeah, I'm beat… you okay?"

"Yeah," he nodded unconvincingly.

"I don't believe you," she said softly and sat next to him, "Why'd you put Zeus in a guard command?"

"He's a guard dog. That's his job," he whispered.

"Elliot… what is it? Are you upset with me… for the crib? Because I pushed you on it?"

"What? No!" he told her honestly, "No… I enjoyed that." He grinned, "But… Liv-"

"What?" she whispered touching her forehead to his, "What? Tell me."

"I think… I think I'm going crazy. I'm seeing people, Liv."

"What?" she pulled back, "What are you talking about?"

"White," he said in exasperation, "I swear I've seen him four times and each time the P.O. says he's not in the location."

"El," she kissed his mouth softly, "Elliot… your not going crazy."

"Then explain it to me," he shook his head, "I swore I thought I saw him watching you guys at the café, then today, I thought I saw him in the review mirror following me. Then he was at the bus stop, down the way from Chloe's apartment and when I went to get gas before coming home… I swear Liv…. It was him. He was at the stop light next to me."

"Elliot," she kissed his mouth again, "Honey, lets think it through… did he get on the bus?"

"Yeah."

"Then, if he's on a bus… how is he next to you in a car?"

He thought it over, shook his head, "I don't know… but it was him… my mind says it was him."

"You're tired Elliot. We've been through so much together and you've always been the strong person. You've always been so strong for me and for the kids… you're tired and things are getting confusing… you checked each time with the PO?"

"Yeah… yeah each time."

"And he's a personal friend of Casey?"

"Yeah."

"Casey wouldn't get involved with shady characters…. El, it's okay."

He exhaled, nodded, and simply laid down, "I'm so exhausted."

She stretched over to meet his lips in a kiss, "I love you. I'm gonna take a shower and come back and give you a massage… that okay?"

"Yeah."

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Olivia stepped out of the shower and was startled to see Elliot standing in the middle of the bathroom naked. Erect. "I thought you were gonna sleep, while I showered and I was gonna give you a-"

He cut her off, walking to her and kissing her deeply, his hands cupping her breast, moving up and over her shoulders and pulling her closer, releasing his lips from hers and breathing hard against her mouth, "Liv… I know… I know I said I'd give you what you want but-"

She nodded, understanding that just as she'd needed him today, he wanted her. Needed her. She dropped her towel and he instantly picked her up, her legs tightening around his waist as his length pressed into her body. He took her back to the bed, laying her softly onto the mattress and hovering over her, "Liv," he shook his head, "I understand what you mean when you feel lost."

She reached up, cupped his face and ignored the chill in her body, "Why? Why do you feel lost?"

"I'm confused. It's him. It's got to be."

"Don't think," she whispered, "Don't… just, feel. Take what you need."

He held his weight on his palms and shook his head, "I can't."

"You can… its okay."

"I don't… I'm scared I'll hurt you."

"You won't. You could never," she assured him and thrust her hips up to him, "its okay El… it's about you tonight, not me… just feel. That's all I want you to do. Take what you want, but feel the whole time."

Quickly, he lowered his head to her and kissed her hard and fast, she responded just as vigorously to him, happy that she hadn't ruined him. Happy that he was capable of making love to her for his benefit. She was fine with it, in fact, she was glad it was happening, glad he was at least showing interest in it whereas before, he might have went the other way, unable to get an erection, unable to perform, then anger would have been the result. Instead, here, in the safety of their bed he entered the heat of her body and exhaled in a loud whimper that surprised her.

Even though his hands and arms weren't around her, even though he wasn't caressing her, she could feel the tension in his body. She can feel his need for this, probably as much as he felt her need to be pressed against the wall of the crib. She reached up, cupped his already sweating face in her hands, "It's okay," she reassured him when he went still, his chest on display like a cobra as he held his body up, his length buried as far as their bodies could allow.

He moved over her with an intensity that was far needier than the hour they spent in the space of the SUV. She saw the stress in his face slowly dissipate and stream away with the sweat that was beading on his body as he worked over her. She felt him hard and long and frantic inside of her as he moved.

She gripped his hips, helped him thrust deeper as he arched his back even more, his teeth bared as he shut his eyes tight allowing the sensation to build in his body. She dug her hands into his bottom and pulled him closer, arching up to meet him and gasping as he continued to move faster. Harder. For a moment she thought it odd that even three weeks ago, she wouldn't have been okay with this, but there was something about that night on the living room floor, something about that night when they were clothed, something about that night when he set her free that had changed everything for her and she found herself happy letting him take what he needed from her. She was happy that she, for once, could give it to him.

He hanged his head, still supporting his weight and thrusting into her as her breast swayed with his movements and she continued to hold his hips to stabilize herself against the power of his strides. He growled as he ground his teeth together, clenched his eyes tighter in desperate reach for his release. He held his breath; almost making her nervous as he plummeted into her again and suddenly threw back his head, mouth agape as his sweat fell from his face to her body. He screamed out and she made no effort to quiet him for the sake of the children. She hoped they didn't hear.

He panted his head still back, chest still in cobra fashion riding out his own reward for the night. He adjusted his weight on his arms, moved and suddenly came again, slightly softer but enough to make him take in a raspy gasp of air. She touched his chest, felt his heart pounding, slid her hands up over his slick body and touched his face, "Open your eyes."

Slowly, he opened his eyes and peered down at her. She ran her hand through his damp hair and rose up to kiss him as she felt him still hard in her body. She gently pulled her lips away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, withdrew and tried to roll away.

She held him firmly in place, "For what?"

"For… not being patient enough to wait for you to come."

"I wasn't going to… it was for you tonight, El… just you. I think you needed it."

He finally moved his weight to his forearms and collapsed on top of her. She reached down between them and stroked him softly to which he whimpered and hid his face in her neck, "Shh," she soothed him and continued to stroke him, knowing he was sensitive but also knowing he still needed to release, "It's okay," she whispered, "It's just you tonight… go ahead."

He groaned and thrust over her, into her hand, his weight still on her and she didn't mind in the least. She was close to him. Close to his beating heart and that's what she wanted. "Close," he moaned and she quickly led him back to her entrance and pulled him into her, he moved out once and plummeted back in, coming loudly, his scream delivered against her shoulder as his body convulsed, almost relentlessly in release, almost as if, this were the last time he'd ever make love to her.


	45. Chapter 45 Hell

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 45 Hell

A/N: Everyone up to date on their heart medications? If you're not, keep a stash near by with a brown paper sac and whatever you do, don't forget to … BREATH

"Wow… you look like death warmed over," Fin joked. "Benson kept you up all night or what?"

Carp could barely keep his lids open, "Shoot me. Please?"

"Go get some sleep, man… Come on, you've been bustin your hump on this for too long and you'll never win Benson in the sleep deprivation game. She's got too many years on you. Go."

"I'm close," Carp yawned scratching his sparse growth of unshaved hair, "I'm close I can taste it."

"Go climb in a rack," Mac told him as he walked by, "you look like crap… sort of smell like it too. You take a shower?"

"Kiss it," Carp exhaled, rubbing his eyes. "I'm uh… I'm gonna catch a few before Benson get's here."

"I'm here," she said out of breath, "sorry. Sam was sick this morning, took a little longer to get him to school and Elliot had an early meeting."

"Excuses are like butts Benson," Mac teased, "we all have them and they all stink."

"Yeah, well," she shrugged, "I could have worn the puke stained shirt in here… that would have really stunk."

"No, please!" Mac's eyes went wide, "No, that's dirty man."

She laughed and took a seat, "Carp… hit the crib you look rode hard and put away wet."

"I'm so exhausted," he groaned, "I don't know how you do this stuff."

"How long you been up?" she asked.

"Uh.. what day is it?"

She grinned, "Perfect… hit the rack, I'll cover for you for a couple of hours… you find anything last night?"

He shook his head, "It's… so complicated, I can't even think."

"Go to sleep."

"Stop asking me questions," he smiled and handed her a small box, "I got a sandwich last night after you left, there's a book store about three blocks down from it, I know the guy there… I picked it up for Sam, should be easier than Telemundo."

She pulled the lid off and grinned, "Spanish Immersion… thanks Carp, you have no idea how much he's gonna like this."

Carp smiled, took his jacket and slowly walked up the stairs, suddenly stopping and starring down at his feet.

"Three more steps, man," Fin said.

"That kid is out of it," Mac quipped.

"Carp?" Olivia called to him in worry, "Carp… you okay?"

He turned around slowly and went back to the board starring at it. He growled in frustration and walked away, "Too damn complicated."

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"Well," Olivia grinned and pointed to a sand which on his desk, "welcome to the land of the living… rise and shine, Carp."

He slipped into his chair, "What time is it?"

"One in the afternoon."

He groaned, "You were supposed to wake me up."

"We tried… you snore. You were dead to the world. Its okay to sleep… you've put a lot of time out on this, we covered for you, don't worry…. Ham on white," she said and pointed to food, "Soda?"

"Coffee? Please?"

She smiled softly and prepared him a mug, "I'm not sure how you take it, so, here," she said placing packets of creamer and sugar next to his mug. He took her buy surprise when he simply drank it black.

"Thank you... where's Mac and Fin?"

"They're talking to our vic… Janna Flemming, remember her?"

"Yeah… she okay?"

Olivia exhaled and took a seat at her desk, "How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That she would be pregnant?"

His eyes went wide, "I didn't… is she?"

"Yeah, she called me this morning."

"We have to go and talk to her!" he said urgently and grabbed for his jacket.

"Carp," Olivia smiled gently, "Carp, she's keeping it."

He furrowed his brow, "What?"

"She called looking for you… wanted to talk to you, to thank you."

He shook his head, "I didn't do anything."

"Well," Olivia shrugged, "according to her, you let her prepare even before the tests came back."

"It hasn't been that long," he whispered.

"Carp… there are all sorts of tests now… doctors can know in as little as five days if you're pregnant."

He exhaled, leaned back in his seat and stared at his desk.

"I thought you'd be happy."

"I am," he whispered, "I am."

"Then, why does it look like someone just pummeled your kitty?"

"I'm allergic to cats," he exhaled again and looked at Olivia, "The baby really can be raised to be someone spectacular."

She tilted her head and nodded, "Yeah, but lets be honest, Carp… she's gonna have a rough time, her and her husband will both have a rough time."

"Maybe… but maybe not, maybe they'll take him and love him and nurture him. Maybe they'll cease the day and make him spectacular."

Olivia nodded and smiled, "Maybe."

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"Is Liv around?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, right there… you okay?" Fin asked in curiosity.

"Yeah, Sam's sick at school, I'm gonna go get him."

Fin pointed to Olivia who was buried in files, "Good luck. She hasn't said a word since Carp and her have opened those files."

Elliot grinned and moved to her, "Hey," he smiled bringing his forearm around the front of her neck and kissing her head, "how are you?"

She smiled, "Now that you're here… great. I'm good… what brings you to our neck of the house?"

"Sam's sick."

She turned her chair to face him and look up at him vaguely aware that Carp was probably watching, "What's wrong?"

"Alex called, said that Crystal came to her room because he vomited on the recess field and didn't want to move."

"I'll get my stuff."

"No, no… just relax. Stay here, solve this case. Alex assured me he's okay. He's in the nurse's office waiting for me to pick him up. I'm gonna swing by and pick up the rest of the bunch too… that okay with you?"

"Yeah," she smiled and stood to kiss him taking his hand and leading him into the hall, "I need to tell you something."

"Uh oh," he sighed through a smirk, "what I'd do?"

She chuckled, looked around quickly, "Uh, apparently it's what we both did."

He furrowed his brows, "What?"

She grinned and touched his arm, "I wanted you to hear it from me. It's not his fault."

Elliot's face grew stern, "Carp do something stupid? I'll kill him," he hissed.

She smiled, covered his holstered weapon, "El, he's innocent. It's our fault… he walked into the crib, while we were, uh-"

Elliot grinned and it surprised her, "You're taking it well."

"You're mine," he smirked and kissed her softly, "and know he knows it. Hope he enjoyed the show."

She laughed happily and swatted his chest, "I just… wanted you to know. No secrets."

He smiled, "I think it's funny and I love you and now, from our public display of affection he can't possibly have any doubts."

She raised up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, "Thanks… I wish you were here on this case."

"Hard?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "I miss you guys."

He smiled, "Then solve this case and get that cute butt of your's home to me."

She chuckled, kissed him again, "Bye, tell Sam to call me."

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Carp stood next to the coffee maker and stared down at the black water in his mug, his back turned to the board as Cragen continued his questions and rants. He was tired and so close. The answer was on that board, he knew it was and he couldn't see it and it was pissing him off to no end.

"The answer is in his riddles," Cragen said pointing to them, "There's six of them… the answer is there… it's six victims and six riddles, that means at least twelve clues, so for crying out loud," he said slamming the dry erase pin into the holder, "Find them!"

Carp turned around and leaned on the wall as he stared at the board from the distance and then stared at clock, it was coming up on nine O'clock in the evening and he'd spent more time in this station house then he had in his own run down apartment. He continued to stare and take it from the beginning, in his mind, piece by piece, over and over again.

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"Sam, it's okay to let me go," Elliot whispered as Sam sat on his lap hugging him tightly, in the same position they'd been in since Elliot had gotten home.

"No," Sam sniffled, "No. Dad… I want you right here."

"I've been right here… I haven't let your out of my sight since we got home."

"You fed the babies," Sam sniffled, "and I was so scared I'd never hear you again."

"Why?" Elliot asked softly, "Why are you scared son? Do you want your mom?"

"No. Yes. No." Sam shook his head, "I don't know… I want you here Dad. With me, so I can feel you and hear you and smell you."

"Son… you need to eat dinner, Isaac is already asleep."

"No!" Sam yelled sitting back on his heels and slapping Elliot's chest has hard as he could.

"Hey," Elliot warned, "Hey, don't hurt me. Have I hurt you?"

"You scare me!" he yelled and framed his face, crying and frantic, "You scare me daddy because my tummy hurts for you."

"Sam… I'm okay… there's no reason to be nervous. I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here," he assured him, rubbing his back and gently pushing Sam's head to his shoulder, "Son… I'm fine… come on; I even got the nail gun out so you and I can build something… I got the plans for this little bird house-"

"No," Sam sniffled and wiped his eyes, "I want you to stay with me like mom does."

Elliot wrapped his arms tighter around his son, "You sure? I've got the nail gun on the counter there, a fresh CO2 cartridge in it… we could build until mom gets home."

Sam sniffled, "What kind… of birds will come into the house?"

"Any kind that wants too… I got the measurements off of the internet and I cut them with the saw last night… we could build it. Mom's birthday is coming up. We could build it for her and you could paint it."

Sam sobbed and laid his head back on Elliot's shoulder, "Why doesn't Aunt Casey answer her phone?"

Elliot exhaled, "Your mom visited her today, for just a little while. She's in the hospital so it's really hard for your mom to be able to see her but, mom says she's doing better."

"No phone in the hospital?" he hiccupped.

"No, I'm sorry."

"Can we go see her?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry Son, it's not a regular hospital, it was very hard for your mom to get in, but Paul asked extra nicely to let her in and they did but only for a few minutes… your mom misses her lots too."

Sam rested his forehead against his fathers, "Will he take you away from me?"

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Who? Paul?"

"No… the man in my dreams. He comes in and then I never hear you again."

"Oh, son," Elliot exhaled and kissed his cheek, "no one's taking me from you. Is that why you're upset? Did you have a bad dream?"

"Yeah," he nodded and sobbed again, "I did, and it was so scary. For a lot of days, I dreamed about Casey that she was crying and then quiet and then I dreamed about you… that I never smelled you or felt you again, and it makes my heart hurt really bad."

"Your heart doesn't have to hurt… because I'm right here. You talked to your mom on the phone right?"

"Yeah."

"She loves you too, and she'll come home tonight and hold you just like I am right now… you're okay, son."

Sam swallowed, "Dad… maybe, maybe mom will like the bird house?"

Elliot smiled, "Maybe… want to try and build it?"

Slowly, Sam nodded and smiled, "Can I use the nail gun?"

"You tellin' mom?"

"No… you?"

"Nope."

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"New picture?" Carp smiled.

Olivia jumped, slightly embarrassed that he'd caught her placing yet another picture of one of her boys under the glass on her desk. "Yeah. Isaac… he had a hair incident last night, and I had to shave his hair completely off."

"What!" Carp grinned, "He was so cute with that long blond hair and blue eyes."

"I know," she laughed and exhaled, "he wanted a Mohawk like Sam," she said pointing to a picture of Sam asleep with Tripod the day she'd given the hair cut to him. "Unfortunately, Isaac sees things in the reverse fashion," she chuckled and pointed to a picture she snapped before shaving his head.

"Oooh," Carp winced, "remind me not to let him give me a cut."

Olivia laughed, "Well, this is him now," she said pointing to the new picture.

"Ah, he's still such a good looking boy."

Olivia grinned, "He's got his fathers good genes."

"His mother's too, I'm sure," Carp said.

Olivia nodded and looked down at his grinning face, "Maybe… maybe he's lucky."

Carp laughed, "How old is he?"

"Just turned two and before you ask, I love every minute of his terrible two's and believe me when I tell you, they can be terrible."

He smiled, "A two year old and a nine year old… how old are the twins?"

She grinned and pointed at Solomon's baby picture under the glass, "This little, big guy is three months tomorrow and Hannah," she said pointing to the picture next to his, "will be three months exactly nine and a half minutes after her brother."

"This case has got to be killing you… the similarities are uncanny," he exhaled, "I'm sorry you have to do it."

"Don't be. I signed on the dotted line. I knew what I would be in for when I came back to work. I love my kids. I miss them every second I'm here. I want to get back to them, so let's crack this case so Cragen can give us a few days off and I can spend time with them."

He smiled, "Want me to put on another pot of coffee?"

"Yeah… I'm gonna go wake up Mac and Fin."

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"You remember how dangerous I told you this could be?" Elliot asked Sam as he helped him hold the nail gun.

"Yeah… it could really hurt someone."

"Okay, so we're gonna be extra careful right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, now I have this board like this," he said letting Sam feel it, "Now, I want you to put a nail right here… can you do that?"

"Yeah," Sam grinned as Elliot helped him line up his shot.

"Pull the trigger."

Sam pulled it, felt the kick of the gun and grinned, "Did it go?"

"Yep… solid. You got it right on the mark. Good job."

"That's 'cause I'm a builder."

Elliot laughed and agreed, "That you are," he said as he looked up and frowned at the blinking light on the alarm panel, "Sam… did you disarm the alarm?"

"No… no, I'm not allowed to unless it's a real emergency."

"Oh… well, wait right here, okay? And don't touch the nail gun."

"Kay."

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"You look pensive," Fin said fixing the cuff to his shirt, "you solve this case yet?"

"No," Carp exhaled, "but I'm close."

"You keep saying that," Fin teased, "Look, there's no pressure just 'cause you're the new guy… chill, you're gonna kill yourself."

"I'm close," Carp told him firmly and stared over his shoulder back at the board. After several minutes, his eyes suddenly bulged out of his sockets. He looked at the board, back at Olivia and then back at the board and dropped his full mug of coffee letting shatter on the floor.

The three detectives instantly looked to the sound of the disturbance, "Carp?" Olivia asked in concern, "You okay? If you need sleep, the cribs empty."

"Your kids… how old are they again?" he asked going back to the board.

"What?"

"Your kids… how old!" he demanded.

She rolled her eyes, "Uh, nine, two, and three months times two."

He made frantic gestures with the marker, tracing a line from the numbers to the victims, "Two infants… I've got two infants, one was what? Three months, the other was two… a boy and girl."

Olivia sat forward in her seat, "Carp… don't reach for straws, not with my kids. Come on lets get ba-"

"Antifreeze," he looked at her with a solid stare, "Antifreeze. Two infants."

"Only one was killed with antifreeze, what are you getting at Carp?" Fin snapped, "You accusing Benson of something?"

"What?" he furrowed his brow, "No! Just look at the similarities will you… look at this from the Lucas Rowhead murder… Little boy blue once a mother's pride and joy. What happens when there's no more joy… what about Isaac?"

"Don't go there, Carp." Olivia stood to her feet trying to suppress her anger, "You're working on little sleep… get up to the crib or go home."

"This is my case."

"This is all of our case!" Mac snapped, "You don't go around making accusations about a cop!"

"I'm not accusing damnit!" he yelled.

"You know what?" Olivia shook her head, "I'm going home. I'm tired. This is getting nowhere fast. Call me when you get something."

"Antifreeze!" Carp said pointing to the board, "Antifreeze, two infants… a riddle suggesting a little boy is gone… don't you think that's a spectacular coincidence!"

"I think," Olivia exhaled, "I think I'm gonna go home to my family and try to forget that you are so desperate to solve this case that you're willing to push me and Elliot back in the spotlight."

His shoulders slumped as he stared at her, "Benson," he said softly, "no… no, I'm just… we both agreed that this perp has his sights on SVU, that that was the underlying connection in all the victims other than the riddles. What if his sites are on you, specifically?"

She smirked and pointed to the board, "Five minutes… you've got five minutes to tell me how on earth you think this mess belongs to me. Go."

He looked back at the board, "I'm not sure."

Mac and Fin and Olivia groaned in unison, "I'm going home," Olivia shook her head.

"Right along with you," Fin said.

"No!" Carp bellowed, "No…. look, uh… look when I got here, I asked questions about you, Benson."

"You what?" she tilted her head, "Why?"

"I wanted to know what I was getting into. Your reputation precedes you and it scared me to death… you're a ball buster… I wanted to know about you. I asked questions but it wasn't until I actually got here and started working that people talked."

"And what did you find out?" she asked folding her arms to hold in her anger.

"You worked well with a detective Jefferies… you weren't partners but there was a great deal of respect there. She left abruptly and while you didn't show it, it bothered you a great deal. Something went wrong with a Detective Cassidy-"

"Hey!" Fin snapped and took a step only to be held back by Mac.

"It's okay… let him," Olivia tilted, "I'm curious to know, how much Super Boy thinks he knows about me."

Carp swallowed, "Uh… I'm not sure what happened, but… three years ago, your life took a drastic turn… I've read some court papers, heard things here and there, but the consensus is that you almost died when Isaac was taken from you. I know it killed you."

She stared at him. Struggled to keep her tears at bay, "The loss… of a child, is every parents fear. We got him back."

"I know that Nick Ganzner made your life hell."

"You're a nosey person," she exhaled, "this still means nothing to me."

He licked his lips and exhaled, "Could you just humor me… please?" he begged.

She placed her hands on her hips, "You got two more minutes."

"Okay," he exhaled and turned to the board. "Everyone is fully aware that Nick killed himself in this precinct correct?"

"No shit Sherlock," Fin exhaled.

"Then you keep digging, Watson," Carp replied in irritation as he pointed to another riddle, "Life is precious. Life is a breath; you thought you won with his death."

"And that means what?" Mac shook his head, "What does it mean?"

"Nick is dead, Carp!" Olivia slammed her palm onto her desk, "He's dead damnit, and you have no right to bring this crap back up!"

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It had snowed lightly but was falling harder with each passing minute as Elliot walked outside into the cool of the night. The alarm panel had said there was something wrong with the gate outside. The problematic gate that had given them problems since the day they installed it, but for the most part worked. He wished he'd had the soft illumination of a flashlight to guide his steps as the snow continued to fall, but he wanted to do this as fast as possible and get back to Sam and the warmth of the house.

He chuckled, finding the plug to the power box seemed to have loosened slightly and wasn't making full contact, "Well," he muttered, "at least I don't have to call someone out at a hundred bucks a pop," he pushed the plug back in and waited as the gate opened in the darkness. He groaned as the moon became hidden by winter clouds and every thing was suddenly blacker than when he first stepped out. Now he really wanted the flashlight.

He exhaled, pressed the button on the remote he'd taken out of the SUV and the gate began to close. He stood to his feet only feel the searing pain strike the back of his knee. He fell immediately in pain, groaning and holding his leg as he felt his jugular being squeezed as a man whispered into his ear, "Tick Tock, no more time on the clock."

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"Go home!" Mac yelled at Carp, "Now! I've heard enough!"

"Just listen!" Carp pleaded, "Please… look it's all there, man!"

"What?" Fin suddenly yelled, "Huh?" he said before taking his hands and pulling the pictures off of the white board, "You're trying to be a hotshot and your being a bitch!"

Mac pulled Carp by the shirt and to Olivia's amazement it seemed that he'd lifted him just slightly, "Mac… Mac put him down," Olivia said, "come on… he's tired. We're all tired. We're trying to figure this out. Put him down. Let's just all go home." Carp twisted and pulled out of Mac's hold. Mac angrily grabbed for his jacket and stormed out of the precinct.

"You should apply to the rat squad," Fin told him as he picked up his own jacket, "they need the sort of whiskers and tail you've got."

Carp exhaled, his hands on his hips as he turned his torso to Olivia, "Benson-"

"Save it," she shook her head, "I'm heading home. I'll see you tomorrow. We'll talk to Cragen about having you assigned somewhere else, this isn't gonna work… I don't trust you."

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Elliot fought to free the hold on his neck and instantly brought his elbow up with a rapid and fierce speed colliding with the man's leg. Elliot moved quickly, covering the man as he moaned on his back.

"Who are you?" Elliot yelled and punched the figure in the darkness but suddenly felt a tremendous pain slice along the side of his thigh. He cried out, rolled off of the man and touched his hand to his burning leg. Against the snow, he could see darkness seeping out of his body and he knew it to be blood.

The brutal pain that shot across his back, as something, he wasn't sure what, cut through the air and collided with the small of his back. He heard the man grunt and pull what felt like bar up over his head only to come back down on Elliot's shin. He cried out in excruciating pain. In a moment, his wife's face flashed in his mind and he wondered where she was. If she was okay. Was she warm? Was she driving carefully along the roads? Did this man already get to her?

He felt the bar against his shoulder as he tried to turn to save his back from more damaged. He brought his good leg up to cover his torso, felt the bar come down again along his ribs. It came down again and again before allowing him to barely catch the man's wrist, kicking his leg out and effectively bringing him down to his knees a swift kick delivered to his chest and knocking the air out of him.

"Dad?" Sam called from the porch.

"Sam! Call the police! Call them! NOW!"

"Dad!" Sam yelled from the porch and immediately started to walk to his voice.

"NO!" Elliot yelled, trying to get to his feet and falling as soon as he tried to take a step. He felt the bones in his leg crumble. He groaned as the man labored for breath next to him, "Sam! Sam! Get inside!" Elliot shrieked crawling along the cold cement of their driveway, not as a cop or even a former Marine, but as a desperate father trying to get to his son. Sons. Children.

"Dad! Where are you?" Sam yelled. "Who's here? I hear someone!"

"Get in the house! Now!" Elliot yelled again, "Lock the door! Set the alarm!"

"Dad where are you!"

"NOW OR I'LL SPANK YOU!" Elliot yelled as forcefully and as angrily sounding as possible. Sam took the bait and it hurt more to see the little boy run from his father, than it hurt to know that as soon as Sam locked that door Elliot would be beaten to death.

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Carp exhaled and squatted in the silence of the bullpen to pick up the notes and pictures that Fin had angrily thrown to the ground. He'd wanted to help. He'd seen the clues, seen the pattern but couldn't understand it and couldn't get it out. Slowly, he reposted the pictures only to have gotten the order of the murders confused. He moved to his desk just as Olivia re-entered the bullpen.

"Benson, thank you for coming back-"

"I'm not here for you," she exhaled, "I forgot my breast pump."

He exhaled, shook his head and then suddenly tilted it to the side as he stared down at the file. The pattern suddenly jumping out and slapping him in the face just like he knew his partner wanted to, "BENSON!" he yelled and charged up the stairs bursting through the doors to the crib.

"Leave me alone, Car-"

"I got it!" he told her frantically, "I got it; it's not in the riddles… I mean it is, but it's not. And it's not you either! I was wrong; he's not coming for you."

She exhaled, dropped the pump onto an empty bed, "Then who, Carp?" she asked in frustration, "Who? And who's the perp?"

He grabbed her arm and pulled her down the steps with him, "Let go!" she said wrenching away from him but following him as he slid to his desk trying to stop but overshooting it when he slipped on paper still adorning the floor, "Look!" he told her almost shouting, "Look! Call Fin and Mac, get them here. Call the cap, call your husband."

"My husband?" she crossed her arms, "Oh," she shook her head in anger, "Carp, I'm going home, I can't believe you're still on this rant."

"LOOK DAMNIT!" he said slapping the white board with his palm.

She gave him her attention, "One minute."

He began to rearrange the pictures of their victims, "We've been looking at it all wrong, we've been looking at this according to the _order_ they were murdered! That's why it didn't make sense!"

She shook her head in confusion but was intrigued that he seemed to have found a new loop, "How should we have looked at it?"

"It's in the name… he's warning you through the riddles, he's reminding you of what happened, but ultimately the names are where it's at."

"What do you mean _warning me_?"

"Look," he said rearranging the order of the riddles to match the new order of the victims, "Elena Saldana, was originally victim number two, I'll bump her to the first one… Endless joy of the breast… that's why her breast were removed. He doesn't want anyone else to enjoy her breast… Endless joy of the rest Now you've been put to the test… he's telling us that this is a game and it's beginning… that she's where it starts. I should have seen it."

Taking his bait she perched herself on the edge of her desk as he frantically continued pointing and moving along as he spoke. "Take Lucas Rowhead, originally vic number four, I'll move him to the second position… Little baby boy once a mothers pride and joy, what happens when there's no more joy… he's speculating, he wants to lead us in the wrong direction but look at Larry Ville, originally vic number one… I'll move him to three… You thought you won with his death… that's Nick Ganzner's death. I know it!" Carp said almost to himself as Olivia continued to watch his line of thought. They hadn't had anything to go on since this started. And this was a new theory.

"Nick Ganzner?" she asked a bit skeptical. She just wanted to know where her husband fit into all of this.

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It was the blow to the head with what felt like a steel toed boot that had left Elliot unable to finish his crawl up the steps. Vaguely, he'd heard the beeping of the alarm panel. Sam had reset the alarm. His last thought, before feeling a hand reach into his pocket, was simply, thank you, God.

"You thought you won didn't you?" The blurry figure asked over Elliot as his face bled, "you thought you got the last word in," he held Elliot's hair in his fist and rammed his elbow across his cheek. Elliot felt his cheek bone break again, his face instantly swell as he groaned in pain.

"W-who are… what want?" Elliot coughed feeling a boot come back down on his abdomen and taking his wind away. He gasped for breath, made excruciating by the already broken ribs he was sure he had. It was cold. He was cold and for a moment he remembered her.

'_Hey! Your feet are cold don't' do that.' _

'_I'm cold.'_

He smiled inside, remembering how her body felt against his. Warm in spite of her obvious chill, if that were possible. Her hair, still damp to his touch had smelled like lilies and he wondered if he would ever know that smell again.

It was the jingling of keys from Elliot's pocket that snapped him back into his excruciating reality. He moaned, rolled back to his belly and peered out of the only eye he could see out of. This man, this devil, this heinous creature was inserting the key into the door.

Painfully, he gasped, "A-alarm!" he warned, not for the man's benefit but for his children's. If he got into the house, if he got away from Elliot, he wouldn't be able to help them, not with his bones broken and his breath labored. They'd die. He'd die.

"Code! Now!"

Elliot struggled through the blood in his eye, struggled to match the familiar voice with a face, but it was so dark, his only working eye was so blurry. He was tired. Dying. He'd wanted to see Sam finally get back on speaking terms with God. Wanted to see Isaac on his first day of school. Wanted to walk Hannah down the aisle when she brought home a guy he wasn't gonna approve of. He wanted to make love to his wife again. He wanted to hold her. Tell her he loved her, tell her that Solomon had smiled at him this evening again, "No," Elliot weakly shook his head, "No."

Elliot heard the sound of the bar scraping the steps of the porch, then the sound of it slicing through the air and colliding with his body, "Code!" the voice demanded.

He felt his tear slip from his eye. The pain was immeasurable, "Liv," he whispered into the cold atmosphere, "love… you."

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"Okay," Olivia nodded, "what's the fourth… if all of this is right… what's the fourth?"

"Uh, okay… the fourth," he murmured and moved a post it note here and a picture there, "Okay, uh, Irene Duarte, originally victim number three, I'll put her to number four… the riddle said," he underlined the second half, "Catch the babies by the toe…. He said babies, it's plural, there's two… he's telling you, you'll have to pick, maybe. I don't know but… it's plural."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. It was making since to her, she pressed the speed dial on her desk phone, "The fifth, give it to me.'

"Who you calling?"

"Fin. He'll call Mac."

"Uh, okay. Orlando Wu originally victim number six, move him to five-"

"Fin," Olivia cut in, "Fin its Liv, call your partner, call Cragen and get back here… we're on to something." She hung up the phone after a few seconds and motioned back to Carp, "Keep going."

"Um, move him to five, and the riddle is, "Tick tock the vessels about to dock," he underlined it, "he's telling us, that this is all a game to him and we're running out of time," he underlined the next section, "Its been a pleasure to stalk-"

"Ganzner stalked," she said starring at the board, "But," she shook her head, "he's dead. There was DNA. I saw him die for crying out loud."

Ignoring her pondering, but still cataloging it in his mind, he continued, "Last vic, Terrance Michaels originally case number five, move him to six and …. It's…. One Two… I'm coming for you."

Olivia nodded, "He's warning us that there are more vics?"

Carp stared at her and swallowed, "He gave us the vic's name."

Olivia furrowed her brow. _Call your husband. _"Who? Me?"

Carp exhaled, and turned to the board underlying the first letter in every victim's named according to the new order, "No," he whispered and stepped back, "According to this… our perp is gunning for Elliot."

It took her a few seconds for it to register. Gunning for Elliot. Gunn-ing… for… Ell-iot. Her husband. Someone was hunting her husband.

"Liv?" Mac asked softly as he stepped into the bull pen followed by Fin.

"We were just barely pulling out," Fin quipped then quieted as Olivia continued to stare at nothing and then suddenly snap out of it immediately dialing Elliot's cell phone.

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"Wake up, brother." Sam said frantically as he moved Isaac back and forth, "Wake up!"

Isaac groaned turning around on his back in innocence as to the severity of what was happening, "Sam Sam," he rubbed his eyes, "Mama?"

"Not here… we're gonna play hide and seek, okay?" he said softly, "and you've got to be a big boy and keep Solomon quiet no matter what you hear okay?"

"Olo?"

"Yeah," Sam said and quickly pulled his brother out of bed.

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Olivia shook her head, "The, uh… the house line, is uh… dead. He's not answering his cell."

"Who?" Mac asked in confusion, "Cragen's on his way… whose not-"

"Elliot," she whispered, "I've got to get to him."

"Wait, wait… no, what's going on?" Fin asked quickly and tried to calm Olivia whose tears were streaking her face, but couldn't register anything else, "You can't drive like this… sit down."

"He needs me… I can feel it."

"Carp," Mac demanded, "Start talking, what happened? Where are we?"

Carp filled them in and all three detectives stared at one another in shock. Mac quickly jumped on the phone to dispatch and notified them of the possible situation at the Stabler's residence. There still wasn't proof. Elliot could be in the shower.

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Sam knew Zeus and Tripod were just on the other side of the glass door, but he also knew, that if he opened that door the alarm would sound and the man outside would know that he opened a door. There would be an opened door. The man could get inside. He could feel the vibration of Zeus jumping frantically on the glass as Tripod barked and snapped. Something bad was happening outside, he could feel it. Tripod and Zeus were trying to get in. To protect. Something bad was happening to his daddy. Outside. He couldn't see it, but he knew it.

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Carp quickly explained the theory as soon as Cragen had appeared in the bullpen's threshold. Cragen's face turned grave as he looked at Olivia, "You called him?"

She nodded in shock, "Several times… no answer."

Cragen moved quickly into his office jumping on the phone and barking orders left and right as he dug through boxes of files looking for one specific section. "Cap?" Mac asked from the office door as Cragen slammed the receiver down.

"The Ganzner files," Cragen muttered, "If that riddle is really about Ganzner and this guy is really hunting Elliot, then somehow Olivia and Elliot know the perp and the perp knows Ganzner," he explained and opened his filing cabinet digging frantically. Moving to the next drawer and then the next, "Here, take these," he said handing a stack to Mac and retrieving the rest as they both walked out.

"Alright people," Cragen barked, "I got uniforms going to your house now, and an eagle eye is up as soon as the weather lets up… our perp is in these files," he said placing them on the desks, "Let's find him before he finds Elliot."

"Anyone notify robbery?" Fin asked as he picked up a file, "anyone, notify his captain?"

"Done." Cragen said and pointed to the file "Start looking."

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The back hand was tremendous against his broken cheek, "Give me the code!"

"No," Elliot groaned and then felt cool metal slice into his abdomen. The same burn that his thigh had produced. The same blood flowing out of him. "Give me the code, or I'll kill you."

"Kill… me… you trip the alarm," Elliot swallowed, vaguely tasting blood, "and the cops… will come anyway. You're screwed."

The blurry figure laughed, "Mmm, no not really. Just have to go with our next option."

Elliot strained to see as the man dug through a bag. He didn't know where it came from. Had he blacked out or did he just not remember? The man walked, around the corner of the house, away. Elliot moved with every ounce of strength he had. He pushed past the pain and crawled on his belly using his forearms until he got to the door and painfully, laboriously turned the key, pushed in the door and crawled through, closing it behind him. The keys tight in his fist.

He cried out in pain as he reached for the dead bolt. He couldn't reach it and turned the knob lock instead, taking all of his energy. He panted, moved and crawled and reached for the control panel desperately stretching to reset the alarm. There was no conformation beep. Something was wrong. He tried again and saw the blinking yellow light. He blinked hard and tried to remember what that light meant. Was it the gate? No, no it was… system failure. He gasped for air against the wall and tried to crawl through the foyer, "Sam," he cried weakly, "son, help me."

Elliot heard nothing and he decided to keep it that way. He wouldn't bring his children out into the open not even if it meant he would die. Slowly. Painfully.

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"I need to get to him," Olivia whispered and attempted to stand, "he has all of the kids." Suddenly, she panicked, "Oh, no… no, he has all of them. He has my family!"

"Olivia," Cragen grabbed her shoulders and sat her back down; "we don't know that. All we know is that someone is after Elliot. Lets not jump the gun; this perp may not even be there. We need you here to tell us if anything is familiar in these files."

She sniffled, nodded, "Where'd you get these?"

"I got them as soon as Nick died… I've been looking, trying to figure out what went wrong," Cragen confessed.

"I can't loose them," she pressed her lips together and sobbed.

He pulled her close, "I promise you. We're doing everything we know to do."

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His mother had let him hold Hannah in the baby vest one time and he felt like a super hero walking around the store with his new born sister snuggled tight against him. Sam knew people thought he was small. He also knew his mother thought he was strong even if she did follow him carefully around the store to ensure his sister's safety.

He pulled the vest over his body, just like his mother had made him practice, and clasped it in the back. It was harder to do now that his hands were shaking, but he did do it. He exhaled, reached into the crib and picked up his baby sister; he was just about to place her seemingly sleeping body into the vest when he heard a loud bang, and his father scream.

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It was the wood that splintered off from the front door as it was kicked from the outside that let Elliot know, he had to move and move fast. His leg throbbed, he couldn't take in air, but he moved just the same. His broken, perhaps shattered leg kept straight as he used his other leg to help him crawl on his belly. The pain that resonated form his wounds demanded he shoot himself as soon as possible.

Shoot. Bullet. Gun. Foyer.

Elliot rolled to his back as another kick came against the door; it was gonna open wide any minute. He cried out in pain as he shifted his body and desperately reached for the foyer drawer only to remember that he'd put his weapon in his nightstand when he got home.

Nightstand. Bedroom. Other side of the house.

He groaned and rolled back to his belly trying desperately to crawl through his home. He heard the door finally crash open and felt the boot collide with his shattered leg.

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The door was open, Sam heard it. It had to be open and now there was a man yelling at his father who sounded as if he were… crying? Quickly, Sam laid Hannah back in her crib as she started to fuss. He felt along the walls until he came to the cool of the window pane and tried frantically to open it the way that Elliot had showed him when he first came to stay with them. Was it push then pull? Pull then push? He couldn't remember, "God!" he whispered frantically, "help me! Please," he begged as he started to panic, "Please God, I'm just a little boy and I need you."

He tried again, more forcefully and felt the cool of the air hit his face. Success. He jumped hearing his father cry out again and he didn't understand why his dad was yelling for his mother to help him. He didn't understand why this man was in their home, but he did know that his father, would never in a million years spank him. Never. Something was wrong and it was up to him to make it right.

Sam moved quickly and pulled all of the baby blankets and pillows off of Solomon's crib and tossed them outside the window hoping against hope they landed where he needed them too. He heard his father blatantly yelling for the man to stop doing whatever it was he was doing. His daddy was crying and he didn't understand why, but he knew he had to get the babies out and the dogs in.

He wrapped Hannah in her comforter as and tried to sooth her before laying her on the floor and taking the rest of her pillows and blankets and tossing them out the window, "Come on sister," he whispered and picked her up, his tiny fist grasping desperately at the hems of the comforter as he steadied himself on the ottoman and lowered his baby sister outside into the elements and hopefully onto the softness of the comforters he tossed out.

He ran out of slack, "God, help," he begged, "please keep her safe," he muttered and released his hold on the blankets, effectively trusting God with his baby sister's life as her comforter bound body plummeted to the ground.

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"Please," Elliot begged and moaned on the floor, "Please… I'll give you what you… want. Money, the car key… just… please, no more."

"Mmm," he smiled, "You misunderstand," he chuckled and brought the bar down over Elliot chest, producing a loud thud to which Elliot groaned and rolled to his side, weeping and begging for this brutality to end "I want you. I'm going to kill you and then I'm going to kill your children, or maybe I should do that in the opposite way, huh? Let you watch? What do you say?"

Elliot's eyes rolled to the back of his head, "Not… here… with… Liv."

"Mmm, I think your lying. I know one is here; he called for you as I was tenderizing you. I know he's here… what do you think he'll say when he finds out his father begged and pleaded like a woman? Hmm?"

Frantically, and with a surge of sudden energy and desperateness to protect his children Elliot growled, reached out and collided the side of his fist into the side of the mans knee. He buckled in pain and went down and Elliot turned on his belly and frantically crawled to the living room.

Cell phone. He had tossed it on the corner of the couch.

Every forearm over forearm movement made him cringe and grinned his teeth in pain but he pushed past it and reached onto the sofa only to find that the cell phone wasn't there. A sob escaped him as he heard footsteps from behind him and felt the serrated edge of a knife run along the flesh of his back. His buttocks. His legs. He cried out, sobbed and begged for the man to stop.

"Tell me where the kids are!"

"Not here!"

He felt the knife being stabbed and twisted into the hamstring of his good leg, pulling and twisting and effectively rendering his leg useless. Then he felt it glide across the back of his knee severing his tendons. He screamed in agony as a child would scream, the squealing earth shattering scream, "Liv!"

"It's the ultimate payback," the man smiled, "to kill her family and leave her perfectly healthy… to live a long life of remembering that her family was savagely murdered. To let her know her husband crawled around on his belly yelling for his wife."

Elliot groaned, sobbed, "Liv."

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"What about Wess Defranco? Sound familiar?" Carp asked.

"No," Olivia snapped slamming a folder shut, "none of this is familiar! I've been calling and calling Elliot and the house line is dead! His cell goes straight to voice mail! Something is wrong! I'm going!"

"No!" Cragen told her firmly, "I already sent Mac and Fin, there gonna tell us. But Olivia, if you want this guy you've got to stay here and help us."

Carp furrowed his brow as he returned to the file he was studying, "Did you know this Nick guy had his jaw broken in the pen?"

Olivia looked up, "What?"

"Right here… says he was in jail awaiting sentencing and he suddenly came up with a broken jaw… was admitted to the sick bay for a few days."

"Let me see that," she told him and virtually snatched it from his hand, she read the date and her eyebrows shot up, "I… we went to the jail… "

"What?" Carp asked as Cragen leaned forward to listen.

"Liv? What happened?" Cragen continued.

She furrowed her brows and bit her lip, "We went to the jail, to see Nick. I was pregnant with Isaac… he was asking for a deal, for me to talk Casey into giving him a deal."

"What happened?" Cragen asked anxiously.

"Nick… he got upset, when I told him no, and he swung at me."

"You hit him?" Carp asked, "You broke his jaw?"

She shrugged in confusion, "I don't know… he was pretty beaten up before he came to the visiting room… I slammed his head, pretty hard into the table, twice if I remember correctly. But… I suppose the impact could have broken his jaw."

Carp raised his brow, "Geeze, you really can kick the crap out of someone."

"Shut up!" Cragen growled then looked back to Olivia, "Liv… are you sure it was on the date in the file?"

"Yes Don," she nodded, "'cause that was the day I found out you were being summonsed in front of the Morris Commission because of Elliot and I… that's the date. I'm sure of it."

Cragen exhaled, "Carp, get on the phone with the jail, I want to know every one who came into contact with Ganzner, I want guards, visitors, cellies and every other Tom, Dick and hairy you can find."

Carp stared down at a medical record in front of him, "Uh, sir… I don't think we have to… says right here who he shared a hospital room with."

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Sam took a chance as soon as he heard his father yelp and darted across the hall to his parent's room and walked into the bathroom, opening the shower door, "Come on bro."

"Hi!" Isaac screeched.

"No!" Sam hissed, "Shh… we're hunting bunny rabbits okay?"

Isaac covered his nose with his finger, "Shh. Kay."

Sam tilted his head, strained to hear anything at all but only heard his father's cries as the man continued to yell at him. He didn't understand why he kept saying that he wanted the kids, to teach his father a lesson. It didn't make sense to him, but he wasn't sticking around to make sense of it. Satisfied the coast was clear, Sam darted back across the hallway and lifted his brother to the window after he'd opened it.

"No!" Isaac shook his head, "No, no."

"Yes, you have too," Sam pleaded, "Please… go get your horsy, he's waiting for you."

Isaac grinned, "Zooos!"

"Yeah, go find him." Sam whispered and lowered him out the window holding his hand and stretching his arm as far as it would go until he felt Isaac's body stand firm as his tiny bare feet touched the ground.

"Nana!" Isaac pointed to his baby sister that was crying frantically. Painfully.

"I know!" Sam hissed, "Make her quiet and I'll give you a dollar!" Sam commanded and closed the window, running back to the shower for Solomon whose cries were already being heard by the unwanted visitor.

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"Who?" Olivia demanded, "Who'd he share the room with?"

"Francis Gotterson… sound familiar?"

She shook her head an emphatic, 'No" and began to sob.

"Okay, give me that," Cragen said reaching for the file, "This his medical record?"

"Yeah," Carp exhaled, "Sorry I thought it was him."

"Sonovabitch!" Cragen shouted staring down at the fresh page he'd flipped to.

"What?" Olivia swiped her tears and leaned into Cragen, "What, tell me!"

"He switched rooms, as per the doctors request… shared a room with Richard White!"

Olivia stopped breathing.

'_Is this about Richard White going to jail last year?'_

'_He was in jail?'_

'_Yeah a medical thing'_

She slowly pushed her chair back and had to hit her chest with her palm to encourage her body to take a breath.

'_Excuse me, Mrs. Stabler. How do you feel about the early release of Richard White?'_

'_Please don't turn what my family has been through into a tabloid fiasco.'_

She swallowed the lump in her throat, took in a ragged breath and closed her eyes as her tears fell.

'_I swore I saw Richard White watching you in the café.'_

'_El, no ones gonna pull the carpet out from under us this time.'_

'_He was there, in my review mirror, at the bus stop, then next to me at the stop light.'_

'_If he's on the bus, how can he be at a stop light in a car?'_

'_I don't know. My mind says it's him… I'm confused. It's him. It's got to be.'_

Her sob cut through Cragen and Carp like a hot knife through butter as she staggered to her feet, "I- I didn't believe him." She shook her head and grabbed for her coat, "He-he had called the PO… everything was normal. I thought…. I thought he was stressed out. Tired."

Cragen stood, "PO? What's the name?"

She shook her head in shock and blinked rapidly trying to remember, "Sage Carrington."

"Carp!" Cragen bellowed, "Call dispatch, get me that number! Now!"

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"Tell me something Detective Stabler, or should I say Lieutenant now," he smiled "do you crawl around on the floor like this for Olivia? Hmm?" he asked kicking his side again as Elliot made every effort to get to the bedroom. To the gun. But, as he crawled and was mercilessly tortured he saw a figure from the corner of his eye dart across the hall and he knew his son was on that side of the house. He let out another hopeless sob and immediately began to struggle and crawl back the other way. Doing everything in his weakening power to keep this psycho away from his children.

"Liv!" he yelled so forcefully he began to vomit. Puke and blood and fear all at once.

"You're such a bitch," the man smiled. "I'd have you crawl to me and beg me for you're life, but uh… well, looks like that knee isn't gonna hold up."

Elliot reached out to him, through his blood matted eyes, "Please… help me."

"Help you? Mmm, no. I'm going to kill you."

Elliot's hand dropped, "Then do it!" he screeched in agony, "Please!" he yelled in pain and then whimpered "Please… hurts."

Without mercy the man kicked him in his hip again, repeatedly, and when he was exasperated of the effort and irritated with Elliot's screams he pulled a kitchen chair from the table, vaguely aware that Zeus was snapping and barking and throwing his body against the sliding glass door as he helplessly looked on. Watching his master being brutalized.

Elliot moaned as the man drug him to the chair and grunted and heaved him into it.

"Ahhhh!" Elliot yelled as his badly injured body was forced to sit. Forced to bend to conform to the chair and forced to yield to this man, that had brought him to the act of begging for his life, "Kill me," Elliot begged, "No more… just… kill me. Don't be a coward!" he growled moving his head frantically around the room as his vision continued to lesson.

He felt the rope wrap around his body. Bound. Restricted. Unable to protect or be protected. He exhaled and thought it odd that it wasn't a bullet at work that killed him, or a terrible car accident. It was a man, entering his home; it was the torture and extreme pain that was going to kill him. And if it didn't, the aftermath of what his life would be, would.

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There were no more blankets, nothing to lower his littlest brother out the window with. Sam exhaled, kissed his crying brother and stepped onto the stool and peeked his head out the window,

"Isaac?" he hissed.

"Boo!" Isaac yelled, "Coldies, Sam Sam."

Sam groaned, "You're never cold! Shut up!"

"Coldie!" Isaac told him again, "Sockies! Shoooes!" he cried and slapped his bare foot against the snow covered cement.

"Where's Nana?"

"Blankie!" Isaac smiled and pointed. This game was fun.

"Get Olo,"

"Oooh. Big." Isaac laughed and grunted and heaved as Sam lowered his crying brother out of the window "Uggh," Isaac groaned and laughed as he fell onto his back in the snow, "Fun!" he screeched and tried as best he could to move Solomon onto the blanket with his sister. He looked up to the window, expected to see Sam and instead, saw nothing.

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"Eagle Eye is in the air!" Cragen barked as soon as he got off the phone, "Mac and Fin are racing against traffic, down power lines and every other act of God right now, but they'll get there Liv. They will. I promise."

"You can't promise!" Olivia snapped, running her hand through her hair, "Why didn't I believe him?" she sobbed.

"I called the PO… he says that according to White's ankle bracelet he's at home. We sent a uniform from queens to verify… this could still be a false alarm, Olivia."

She looked at him and nodded, "Could be… but Sam was sick this morning."

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"Let me go!" Sam yelled as soon as he felt rough hands grab the strap to the baby vest from behind. He'd been so close to getting out of the window. He held on tight to the frame, kicking his legs, "Let me go, jerk wad!"

"Shut your hole you little brat!" he yelled.

"Bite me, jerk wad!" Sam yelled back, but when he felt his fingers slipping from the window, he gave it one last thrust and closed it. Sealing him from his brothers and sister, hoping against hope that God heard his prayers as he lowered each one of them out of the house and into the cold.

He hadn't been spanked since he had come to stay with the Stabler's, but when he felt the man's hand slap his bottom and his back and head in an effort to make him submit, he knew he was being spanked and he didn't know why this man was being so cruel. He cried out and immediately crumbled.

"Pussy little fag," he said and snatched him up by his shirt forcing him down the hall.

"Dad! Daddy help!" he screeched feeling the knuckles of his toes drag along the hardwood floor. His barely healed blisters tearing slowly. Painfully.

"Your daddy is dead!" he yelled, shaking Sam's shoulders roughly so that his head snapped forward and back, "he's dead you little prick and it's all of your fault! You should have come out when I asked you to! This wouldn't have happened!"

He cried, "No! No! Mommy! Mommy, save me!" he screeched and suddenly steeled in the man's rough embrace. He heard it, it was faint to the average ear, but not Sam's, he heard his father's whimper, his labored breathing. His crying. He was alive.

He felt the man's hand dig into his shoulder and force him down to his knees. The faint traces of his father's cologne told him he was close to him but he didn't know where, "Dad?"

"You're gonna watch your son die," the man smiled and pulled Sam's single trail of hair as he tried to get free.

"God!" Sam yelled, "Help!" he screeched turning and reaching with one hand to mark the man's position and shoving with the other a flat, perfectly executed palm strike into the mans genitals. The sound of him hitting his knees and groaning, the sound of metal hitting and bouncing off the floor, his breath was so close. Sam reached out and struck again to where his breath seemed to come from and chambered with a perfect knife hand strike to his throat, yelling and chambering as much power and confidence in his strike as his mother had taught and enforced with him during practice.

The man gasped for a moment, the impact on his adams apple almost too much to handle.

"Sam," Elliot steeled his voice as much as possible. This was the only way out and he knew he would hate himself for having Sam do it. He squinted his eye, tried to take in the blurry scene, "Sam, listen to me," Elliot said anxiously as he heard the man struggle to breath but he knew he would recover quickly, "Sam…do you want to build with me?" Elliot asked, emphasizing every word.

"No, I want mom," Sam screeched moving to Elliot's voice.

"Stop!" Elliot barked and winced at his pain. He lowered his voice immediately when Sam's face crumbled in fear, "Stop. I need you to remember what we build with… can you do that?" he asked in a tamer voice.

Sam's brows arched with realization, "Where?"

"Four feet left behind you."

Sam moved to his left but felt a hand grab at his ankle, a terrible pain slice through his leg and he screamed and sobbed, crying for his mother "Mommy!" He realized now, just why his father had cried so desperately for her… they needed her.

"You sonovabitch!" Elliot yelled and frantically moved side to side in the chair, desperately trying to free his hands, "Reach Sam!" Elliot commanded.

Sam reached his hands out in front of him and kicked his legs hard and strong just like they'd showed him in the pool. He heard the man curse and the sound of metal drop to the floor again. Sam scattered, quickly listening to his father's commands, "Left!"

Sam felt it, felt the cold metal in his hands, and the rough hand of his attacker on his back pulling him up and slamming him onto his back. Elliot yelled, moved desperately in the chair until it fell over, taking his tied up body with it. He groaned and screamed in pain, but quickly pushed it aside when he made out the blurry figure, standing next to his moaning son, his boot raised high to come crashing down on his head.

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"Olivia!" Alex yelled rushing to her desk and kneeling in front of her, "Fin called me," she explained and quickly wrapped her arms around Olivia's trembling body, "It's okay… it's okay, he said they're about twenty minutes out, and that was ten minutes ago… it's okay," she whispered and rubbed her back softly, "It's okay."

Olivia buried her face in blond locks, thought of Isaac, Solomon and Sam and wept bitterly, balling Alex's shirt in her fist, "No more… I can't take anymore," she whispered.

"It's gonna be okay."

"No it's not," Olivia whispered and held tighter, "Sam was sick this morning."

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"NOW SAM!" Elliot shouted, "NOW! DO IT!"

Obedience was a must. While Sam didn't fully understand why his father was telling him to purposefully hurt someone, he brought the nail gun to his chest, pointed it upward and pulled the trigger immediately.

The man screamed out but remained standing, even with a nail in his inner thigh.

"AGAIN!" Elliot commanded.

Sam obeyed, trigger pull, after trigger pull, after trigger pull until Sam dropped his Goliath to the floor with a loud thud. He heard the man scream in pain and Sam scrambled to his fathers voice.

"No. Get Zeus!" Elliot said trying to keep his vision clear enough to see the man who was struggling to his feet already, "Quick! Fast! NOW!" Elliot yelled at his son who immediately ran to the sliding glass door, threw the lock only to feel rough hands about his waist, his body suddenly weightless, his position forgotten as he was spun around.

"FIGHT SAM!" Elliot yelled, struggling to get free of his ropes as they loosened with the positioning of his body against the chair, "FIGHT!"

Sam threw his head back just like Olivia had told to do if someone grabbed him from behind. He felt the man's blood trickle down his neck. He heard the man groan, felt him stumble with him in his arms and instantly twisted and struck behind him with an elbow strike to the side of his face effectively making the man moan.

"HARDER!" Elliot yelled, his hands suddenly twisting free from his binds.

Sam tossed his head back again and again and again, each time, slamming his skull into the man's face, yelling out in his own pain until he suddenly came crashing to his hands and knees. He'd been released but didn't know exactly where he was. Where to run to in order to get to the sliding door. To Zeus.

"Dad!"

"To your-" Elliot was cut off by a fist to his head as he'd tried to crawl to his son. He moaned as the room spun. The feeling of that bar coming down on his body again only several seconds after the kick. Elliot tried to crawl with his hands only to feel the intense pain of a knife being driven through his right palm and effectively sticking into the wood floor. He sobbed, unable to move, unable to protest as the bar continued to assault his body, and eventually everything faded to black.

Sam heard the violent strikes against his father's body and crawled desperately to a point of reference, colliding with the wall. He'd thrown the bagel here, that morning he talked with his mother, which meant he was two windows from the left of the glass door, where Zeus' barking still continued just as aggressively as it had started. He quickly felt his way along the walls and windows until his fingertips touched the cool metal of the sliding doors frame. He threw the sliding door open, "ZEUS!" he yelled into the cool of the night and offered a point of his hand behind him to where the man was still beating on his father, "Feindangriff!" he commanded.

Feindangriff, the German word his mother had stressed over him on several occasions, the word he was told to never use playfully around Zeus, the word he was told would transform Zeus into an unfriendly and unkind dog, and if he ever gave the command, he was to gain the dog's attention by name, point, and issue the command. Then run.

He ran into the cold night, "Isaac!" he yelled, "Isaac!" he screeched into the backyard. As soon as Zeus and Tripod bolted past him into the house. 

"Sam Sam," Isaac's voice was low, tired, "Coldie Sam Sam." He said and Sam caught the shiver in his voice and quickly pulled his sweater off of his body, fighting with the baby vest and finally freeing himself and feeling for his brother who surprisingly was in the same place he'd lowered him, next to two screaming infants.

"Put this on," he said keeping his ear trained and satisfied he still heard Zeus' aggressive barking, "Quick like a bunny," Sam encouraged his brother and adjusted the sleeves quickly, "Alright, want to be a big boy an-" he stopped mid sentence hearing a yelp from Zeus and then nothing. He didn't know what to do. Three kids. Two arms. "I'm just a boy," Sam started to cry, "Please God, I'm just a boy. Help us."

Quickly he wrapped both infants into a comforter, careful to give them room to breath like his mother had showed him after their baths. It was different though, harder to wrap them both in the same blanket. He heard footsteps, slow, shaky footsteps, but they were getting closer. Sam heaved the bundled infants into his arms, locking his fingers, "Come on Isaac… let's go play hide and seek."

Isaac trotted along, seemingly unaware as to the fact that his father lay dieing or perhaps already dead in their living room where he wrestled and played cars with his mother. He giggled as they stopped at the gate at the side of the house, "Open it," Sam instructed, "Hurry, they're so heavy."

Isaac smiled and reached up to the lever, standing on his cold tippy toes and using the tips of his fingers to reach and touch it, he raised it up easily and Sam pushed the gate open with his body as he heard footsteps walking along the deck, a sudden growl and yap from Tripod and more yelling in pain from the Man that had been so cruel to their father.

"Run Isaac! Come on!" Sam told him as they sprinted down the driveway of their home only to be met with a closed gate that Sam ran into, stumbling backwards and groaning before regaining his bearings, "Button!" Sam yelled out and quickly placed his crying cargo in the snow and flipped the reset button just as his father had showed him after the first repair guy had come out to look at their gate. He heard it open and he quickly felt around for the bundle and Isaac's hand. "Run!" he said and pulled his brother out of the driveway and along the same shoulder letting his hand fall only to add support to the crying babies. They were so heavy. He was so small, "God," he breathed as he ran, "help me. I'm just a boy."

Isaac cried, "No! Cold!" he chirped trying to sit and relieve his toes from the cold snow.

"Isaac, move!" Sam called out, not sure where he was.

"Coldies!" Isaac cried. The game wasn't so fun anymore, "Mama." He began to cry.

Sam followed his voice and found his hand jerking him up, "Move!" he yelled and suddenly heard a loud noise from the sky. He'd never heard something quite like it before and it scared him. He quickly went off the road into the bushes. The babies were too heavy. He was so tired, after all he was just a boy… but his mom said he was a super hero. He picked up the babies again, and ran deeper into the brush careful to drag Isaac with him who was now yelling in protest and pain as the stickers stabbed at his feet.

Sam focused on counting and when he reached two hundred, he laid the bundle of crying babies down next to a tree and soothed them softly. Hannah responded immediately but Solomon proved more difficult and Sam knew he'd have to leave one. The quietest one. The one that wouldn't draw attention to herself. He reached into his pocket, pulled out the cell phone he'd discovered on the couch. It had been beeping, like when his dad missed a call.

He listened carefully for the beeps until he had found it and pulled it off of the couch cushion, turning it off and cramming it into his pocket. He didn't know why, just knew that he had too. He flipped the phone open and felt on the pad, dialed 911 and waited nervously for the operator.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"This is my dad's phone," Sam cried as his body shook from nerves and cold, "He's a cop, this is where my sister is." He said and laid the phone over a tightly wrapped Hannah, before placing a crying Solomon into the baby vest. He heard the operator talking on the phone asking if anyone was there. He picked up the phone again as an afterthought, "My name is Samuel Stabler, I'm nine and my dad is really hurt. He needs someone to fix him, the man is still in the house," he cried and tucked the phone back into Hannah's blanket. He kissed her forehead again and put her young life back into God's hands.

He grabbed Isaac and bolted left, unsure of his surroundings but the sound in the sky was louder and louder, his shoulder hit a tree and he stumbled. Isaac fell next to him and cried out, "Come on!" Sam yelled feeling to ensure that his littlest brother was still okay in the vest, "Hurry! Mom's waiting!"

Isaac grinned, "Mama!"

"Move!" Sam commanded and yanked his arm again. He continued to count, waited until he hit one hundred and turned left heading towards the sound of passing cars. Cars meant roads.

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"Got a nine one one!" Carp yelled, slamming down the phone into the cradle, "Where's Benson?"

"Crib with Alex." Cragen barked, "What is it?"

"Sam called nine eleven, from Elliot's cell phone; they're running a trace right now, using the phone lines and GPS."

"He's not at home?" Cragen asked in suspicion.

Carp exhaled, "Just told the operator, 'This is where my sister is and the man is still in the house."

Cragen's mouth formed a small smiled, "Smart kid."

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The vest broke when it got caught up on a branch and Sam struggled for freedom. He felt Solomon's body slip lower and he instantly grabbed for him, catching him in what he thought was just in time. Sam's body hurt. His knees, from falling onto the ground, throbbed and he was so very tired. He placed Solomon onto the snow, pulled his last remaining shirt off of his body, warmed with his adrenaline, and wrapped his baby brother with it, before deciding it wasn't gonna keep him warm. Without regard for himself, even as he shivered in the cold, he removed his pants and covered his brother, feeling around the area for the driest spot and placing him close to a tree a small kiss to his crying cheek, a silent prayer.

The noise seemed to follow him wherever he tried to run. If he stopped it stayed close, if he moved it followed and only forced him to keep running. He panted, didn't have time to put his shoes back on, just knew that he had to keep running. He grabbed Isaac and continued to run, his boxers his only warmth. He ran, stumbled, got up and stumbled, ran more and stumbled until finally, with the last stumble he made, his head hit the shoes of a stranger's feet. A man he didn't recognize by scent or voice, but was assured, by God, wouldn't hurt him.

Sam was tired and in pain. He let his world grow silent even as he felt Isaac's hand leave his.

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"Looks normal from here," Mac said pulling into the driveway.

"Gates open," Fin observed as he stepped out of the car, weapon drawn.

"Hear that Fin?" Mac asked.

"Sirens… they're close," Fin nodded, and turned on a flashlight, gasping.

"What? What is it?"

"Blood, lots of it… call Cragen; tell them to make things happen faster." Fin said and quickly made his way up the steps of the porch taking notice of the badly beaten front door and gently nudging it open with his foot, as Mac finally caught up with him.

Panting, he steadied his weapon, "EMS is in route, apparently they tried to go the back way, got caught up in a snow bank, we made it first."

Fin nodded and they both cautiously entered the home, "Police," Mac called out, the eerie quiet almost making his announcement joyous.

Fin banked right, pointing his weapon down the hall and slowly examining the rooms as Mac immediately searched the kitchen and gasped at the dog struggling to breath, a knife sticking out of its side, "Fin," he called out and immediately dialed the K-9 unit to send out their emergency vet. It was obvious the dog put his life on the line for this family, and Mac would see that he got the medical care he needed.

"Clear!" Fin barked back, "No sign of the kids or El-" he stopped as soon as he passed the living room, "Oh, Lord have mercy," Fin prayed and instantly crossed the area to kneel next to Elliot's body. Not a sound, a moan or protest from his beaten friend. He rolled him over just as Mac's eyes adjusted to what he was seeing.

"Oh, no." he whispered and was about to make his way to Fin when he heard a noise behind him, the faint growl of Zeus and then stared in horror as Fin instantly raised his weapon and pointed it over Mac's shoulder. Two quick shots. One thud. Mac swallowed hard and turned around to see the bloody mass of man at the threshold of the house. Still breathing. Not moving.

"Cover him!" Fin said, "He moves. You kill him." Fin lowered his ear to Elliot's mouth and nose, lowered his hear to his chest, "I got nothing!"

"Then get something'!" Mac yelled keeping his weapon trained on the struggling man, "NOW!"

"One-two-three-four-five," Fin counted as he compressed Elliot's chest and tipped his head back, counting mentally while he filled his friend's lungs with vital air and continued the cycle, "One-two-three-four-five,… come on Stabler, you leave Liv and she'll die… one-two-three…"

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"Ground station this is Eagle Eye One. Do you copy?"

"Eagle Eye One, this is Ground Station. Over."

"We had our spotlight trained on two figures, looked like kids running through the brush. Two deposits made, you ready to take down lat and long? Over?"

"Roger, ready to copy. Over."

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Cragen exhaled in moderate relief, "Chopper landed a mile from the house, an ambulance transported Elliot to it. He's in the air," he told Carp.

"Elliot is being transported by a helicopter?" Olivia asked startling both of them.

Cragen exhaled, he didn't want to tell her this way. Didn't want her to just stumble into a conversation. He reached out to her and pulled her into his embrace as Alex stayed close, "The chopper thinks they caught sight of Sam running, they passed over some coordinates to help the search team."

She pulled back, eyes wide with terror, "Sam was running! Where?"

"I don't know where he was going," Cragen told her, "He called 911… it looks like, for sure he got Isaac out of the house. The chopper said two kids, maybe two drops."

"Two drops," she grabbed his forearms, "Hannah and Solomon?"

"Maybe. I'm praying that's the case, but, I don't know… it's not clear. Sam dialed 911, left the phone on and laid it with Hannah, he told the operator, 'this is where my sister is'… it sounds like he at least got her out of the house."

"Solomon? What about Solomon?" she begged.

"I don't know," he said rubbing her arms, "Liv, I don't know."

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The sirens woke Sam up. In a bed that wasn't his. A room that didn't smell like his, but Isaac lay next to him. They were warm. He was still tired. His leg hurt him so bad but he was more scared now that anything.

"Its okay," a woman said softly, "its okay… we're your neighbors from up the road. The Passtrans… remember us?"

Sam stayed silent, felt the bandage the covered his leg. He'd been helped, not hurt.

"We talked to the police; your parents are police officers, aren't they? They're sending a friend for you so you can see your mom."

Sam exhaled and lay back in the unfamiliar bed and pulled his brother close to him. Weeping.

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"Think he'll live?" Mac asked as the second ambulance crew ushered Richard White out on a gurney.

"Hope not," Fin said matter of fact, "He should have died years ago."

"Who is he?" Mac asked taking a look around the house. It looked like a slaughter house, with the blood splatter and obvious struggles that showed themselves in the pools of blood. Elliot's blood.

"K-9's team is here," a uniform called, "Where's the dogs?"

"Here, both… the little one needs to be checked too, but the dobbie… its bad he needs help." He said and pointed them to the whimpering dog before turning back to Fin, "Who is he?"

Fin exhaled as they began to process the scene, "I wasn't in SVU at the time, but Richard White had a thing for Liv."

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Frantically, Olivia collided with the first nurse she could find, "I'm-I'm looking for Elliot Stabler, he was flown in on a chopper."

"Um, you'll have to check with the emergency room, that's in the west wing." The nurse replied.

"Come on," Alex whispered, "Lets go, I'll take you."

The walk to the west wing seemed to take for hours as Olivia periodically let out an uncontrollable sob. Alex held her as they stood somewhere between their arrival point and destination, the night moving on into early morning, "I want my children," Olivia cried softly, "I want them so bad, and I don't know where any of them are."

"They're gonna find them," Alex assured her, "Sam did well, he did so well."

"I don't know where he is, and I just want to hold him," she cried harder into Alex's shoulder, "I want to hold my husband… they flew him in. You know what that means," she shook her head; "You know it's bad, if they flew him."

"Olivia," Alex rubbed circles over her back, "Cragen could have just demanded it… we don't know how bad it is."

"It's bad," Olivia whispered "Sam was sick."

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"Yes!" Carp yelled into the bullpen as he hung up the phone. He turned around to meet Cragen's expectant eyes, "Sam and Isaac are up the road from their home at a neighbors house, just got the call in to dispatch from a Mr. and Mrs. Passtran. I called Alex's husband… didn't know who else."

Cragen exhaled, running his hands over his head. He nodded, "Any word from Mac or Fin?"

"White is being transferred to a hospital. I told them just to make sure it wasn't the one Elliot was in. I'm not sure how Benson… _if_ Benson could handle knowing he was in the same place as her husband."

"Good call," Cragen nodded, "Hannah or Solomon?"

"Nothing."

Cragen looked out the window, "Got to find them soon. Snows falling harder."

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Olivia slammed her hands down onto the counter as Alex tried to pull her away, "Where's my husband!" Olivia yelled to the nurse who stared at her with wide eyes.

"Olivia," Alex pulled her away quickly, "come on," she encouraged and ushered her into a waiting area. Olivia perched herself on a couch and sobbed relentlessly into her hands, feeling Alex wrap her arms around her and pull her close as her world crumbled.

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"Hello?" Mr. Passtran smiled softly, "May I help you?"

"Yes," Robert smiled, "I'm, Robert Gray, here for Samuel and Isaac Stabler."

"Ah yes," Mr. Passtran said, motioning for Robert to enter, "and who might this one be?" he asked pointing to a sleeping Addison in his arms.

"A good friend of mine." Robert smiled, "His folks are… out of town."

"You're a kind man," Mr. Passtran assured him and led him through his home, "the policeman was just by here to check on the boys… told me what happened. I'd heard a commotion… the country echoes, you know?" he said, leading him up the stairs, "I started to walk out of my home and heard all types of barking and crying and yelling… the oldest one literally fell at my feet, only in his boxers and socks."

"Is he hurt?"

"Scraped up and banged up, might need some stitches," Mr. Passtran told him, "but, my wife has been tending to him. Retired from nursing after 25 years," he smiled as they stopped at a door, "she thinks he'll be just fine."

"And the toddler?"

He smirked, "Stubborn. His feet will be sore. He's banged up, but caused all sorts of fun mischief before finally falling asleep next to his brother."

"Sounds like him," Robert chuckled and adjusted Addison.

"You must like kids, to tote around everyone else's, they must trust you," Mr. Passtran assessed.

"I do. They do… may I see the boys, please?"

"Certainly," he smiled and opened the door.

Robert exhaled in relief at the two boys tucked tightly in the bed.

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"Patrol five eight, this is K-9, you copy?"

"K-9 this is patrol five eight, go ahead. Over."

"Roger five eight. I found your little boy."

"Roger that K-9, his mother is appreciative, I'm sure. Good job. What's your position?"

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"Carp!" Cragen bellowed, "Get Alex on the phone, tell her Solomon has been located and their using the GPS coordinates from Elliot's cell to find Hannah!"

"On it!" Carp hollered back and retrieved the scratch note that Alex had left her and Paul's cell phone numbers on.

"Carp!" Cragen called to him again as he hung up the phone.

"Yeah Cap?" he responded as he dialed, he stopped and looked up at Cragen.

Don smiled softly, "Tell them they got Hannah too."

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"What's taking so long?" Olivia sniffled "Why can't I see him?"

"Liv," Alex soothed, "They're patching him up for you… he's gonna be fine, he-" she groaned and dug into her pocket for her cell phone, flipping it open, "This is Alex… uh huh… no…. no…. okay… thank you." She hung up the phone and wrapped her arm back around Olivia's shoulders, "They've found the kids, Liv… all of them."

She sat up, holding onto Alex's forearms, "A-all of them?"

"All of them."

"Sam and Isaac and Solomon and Hannah? All of them?"

"All of them… a neighbor found Sam and Isaac… K-9 found Solomon and a search team found Hannah with GPS."

Olivia swallowed; relief still hadn't graced her features, "Alive?" she asked shakily.

Alex cupped her face, "Oh, sweetie… they're all alive. All of them, they're scraped up, but the babies are being transported here and Robert is bringing Isaac and Sam in to be checked and to see you."

"Robert?" Olivia whispered.

"Carp called him to pick up the boys… didn't know who else you would have trusted them with."

Olivia exhaled and sobbed all at once and fell back into Alex's embrace.

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"Sam?" Robert whispered and rubbed his back as Addison continued to sleep on his shoulder, "Sam… can you wake up? I want to take you to your mom."

Sam stirred and slowly sat up. Quietly began to cry.

"Hey," Robert laid Addison down on the bed and scooted to Sam who flinched at his touch and huddled himself into the corner of the bed, "okay." Robert whispered, "I won't touch you… do you recognize my voice?"

Sam wrapped his arms around his legs and sobbed harder. Isaac stirred and woke up, a small moan as he tried to move. He began to cry, "Mama?"

"Hi, little guy," Robert said softly and stroked his cheek, "Want to see Mama?"

Isaac cried and wormed his way into Roberts lap sobbing into his shoulder, "Hurt. "

Robert stroked his back even as Sam still cried in the corner of the bed, "I know it does… we're gonna take you to see your mommy… Sam… want to follow my voice?" Robert asked, "You can tug on my shirt if that makes you more comfortable."

"Both of the boys," Mrs. Passtran spoke from the door, "they've had a terrible time walking. The older one will need stitches as soon as he gets to the hospital, the younger should be fine, but needs to be looked at… let them fall to sleep again and my husband will help you take them to the car."

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"Olivia?" Carp called as he entered the waiting area, "Benson? You here?"

She sniffled, wiped her tears and could barley stand to make eye contact with him, "Yeah… what's going on? Hear anything?"

"No," he said apologetically, "I just… I just came by… um, it's been awhile since you've eaten and well, I know when you… um… my sister, she… well, I hear breast feeding… well you got to eat," he swallowed hard and placed a large brown bag on the table, "I haven't known you long enough to know your favorites but uh… well there's something from everywhere close to the station there."

She swallowed and nodded softly, "Thank you, Carp. You didn't have to-"

"Yes I did… I'm sorry I didn't catch it sooner. This wouldn't have happened if I'd paid more attention to the way it was set up… if I'd looked at it differently."

Alex exhaled and stood, "You know… I think you two need some time, I'm gonna wait in the hall for Robert," she said and slipped out as Carp timidly sat on the opposite length of the couch.

Olivia cleared her throat, "You're uh… you're gonna be a good detective, Carp."

"I got lucky."

"No," she shook her head, "you're where you're supposed to be… you're fighting in the right lawn."

He smiled softly, "I have a good partner… little rough around the edges, but uh… she's good."

She laughed and sobbed at the same time, "Thank you."

He slowly crept closer to her and rested his hand over hers before wrapping his arm around her and hugging her tight, "I know things look so impossible right now, but you keep fighting for your patch of grass, you keep fighting for Elliot and one day your gonna wake up in an oasis."

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"Alex," Robert called to her and quickly made his way to her from the end of the hall, hugging her tightly careful of Addison, "how's Elliot? How's Olivia holding up?"

"She's a wreck," Alex exhaled as they separated, she stroked Addison's hair as his eyes struggled to stay away, "go to sleep," Alex whispered.

"Elliot?"

"They haven't heard anything on him, he was unconscious and bagged when he got here, that's according to the nurse that I overheard talking… I don't have it in me to tell Olivia."

He exhaled, wrapped his arm around her and kissed her forehead, "We'll be there for them, we'll be there for them every step of the way. We'll carry the extra weight; we'll do what they need. I'm here from them, standing right next to you. I'm on your team… their team," he assured her.

She nodded softly and rubbed Addison's sleeping form, "Looks like you're on everyone's team right now."

"I told Paul, this morning that we'd keep him as long as they needed, he's welcome to see him anytime. He dropped of clothes, a stockpile of pampers and snacks for him and food, he gave us some money and his insurance card… I think that's appropriate, I think that Casey and Paul are gonna be fine, he says she's doing well and is expected to be released tomorrow. She wants to see Addison."

Alex exhaled, "Good, I'm glad, because she certainly didn't want to for the past week or so."

He kissed her cheek softly again, "Where's Olivia?"

"In the waiting room, it's… it's a family waiting room, so she's alone, except for her partner right now. I don't know if she can handle a bunch of strangers hanging around."

"Maybe she can handle two charming blond boys?" he smiled.

Alex grinned, "They're here? How are they?"

"They've both been admitted to pediatrics… Sam needed stitches and Isaac needs some observation, his feet were beaten up pretty good and oddly, the little guy was cold."

"Cold? There's a first."

Robert smiled, "Yeah. Sam isn't talking, won't let anyone touch him and put up one doosie of a fight when the doctors tried to separate him from Isaac."

"He's got to be terrified."

"He's… it's like he's shell shocked or something. The neighbor that found him said they only found him in his boxers and socks."

Alex wiped at a tear, "That little guy… do they know what happened yet?"

"Preliminary speculation is that Sam tried everything he could, but he's just a little boy. Solomon was found with Sam's t-shirt and pants wrapped around him. Isaac was wearing his sweater."

Alex nodded, "Might be just a little boy, but he's got the heart of a lion."

"Do you want to tell Olivia?"

"Yeah, I'm just giving her some time with her partner… he's so young. I'm not sure who's needing what right now. He feels guilty and you know that Olivia is going to try and sooth him in spite of the fact that she needs it more. He walked in and she could barely look at him."

"Angry?"

"I think it's shame. She's supposed to be the leader between them. She's supposed to be looking out of him and teaching and molding and mentoring and she's being exposed in ways she would never want a co-worker, especially one she's training, to see."

"Mmm, yeah, I see that, but… from what I've heard from the cops in the halls was that Carp blew the case open… he should be proud of himself."

"I think… he believes he failed her by not seeing if sooner. I worked with SVU side by side for years, the bond between partners is like nothing you've ever seen and when one is hurting the other, automatically, for some reason heaps that guilt onto themselves and they hurt right along with the other."

He exhaled, "I'm going to take this little guy home, I think Olivia needs you right now, and doesn't need me hovering."

"Can I take her to see the boys? Have the babies gotten here?"

"I didn't see them. I'm sure if they are that they're in good hands… do you need anything? You want me to pick you up something to eat or drink?"

"No, no… what room are the boys in?"

"Uh, pediatrics, one floor up room 828, sharing the same bed because Sam isn't giving Isaac up for anything. I suggested an ice cream bribe… no go."

"Okay… I'll let them finish and then I'll take Olivia to see them."

He leaned in, kissed her lips, "I love you Al, you're a good, strong woman and the Stabler's are lucky at have you right now."

She nodded, "Thanks… I wish Casey were here too."

He caressed her cheek, "She needs to get her head together and be strong for herself before she can offer anything to anyone else."

"I know… I just… they're so close, were like a triangle, when one falls be both pick them up… I don't know if I'll be enough for Olivia and Elliot."

"Then tag me and I'll fill in," he winked and kissed her again, "I love you baby."

"Me too," she smiled as he walked past her and down the hall. Alex turned to push the door to the waiting room open just as Carp was walking out.

"Hello," he smiled sheepishly, evidence that tears had flowed evident.

"Hello… she okay?"

"She fell asleep… the crying… I think it's too much. Will you be here for her? She needs someone and if you can't then I'll stay."

"No," she shook her head, "No. I'll be fine. I'm not going anywhere; I'm taking her to see her boys."

He smiled in hope, "They're here?"

"Two of them that we know of… Sam and Isaac are on the next floor," she informed him and pushed the door open wider, "I'm gonna take her up."

"Kay… be gentle with her?" he asked, "she's a hard nose detective but she's mush with her family."

Alex smirked, "Didn't take long for you to figure that out."

He smiled softly, "It's written all over her face, it's in her words."

"Get some sleep Carp… heard you've been up for awhile."

He nodded softly and walked away. She took a deep breath and walked into the room sitting softly next to Olivia, "Hey," she whispered, "wake up. I know where two beautiful little boys are."

Olivia jolted awake and flung her feet to the floor, her hand quickly combing through black hair, "Where?" she croaked "Where? I want to see them, can I see them?"

"Yeah, come on," Alex smiled and helped her up, "I know exactly where they are."

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Alex pushed the door open softly and Olivia anxiously walked through stopping at the first bed who's banister read _I. Stabler_, but who's Power Ranger sheets were empty. Alex saw the momentary panic, the tensing of her shoulders, "He's sharing a bed with Sam… apparently Sam wouldn't let him go."

Quickly, Olivia moved to the next bed, just beyond the curtain that kept most of the light out, she exhaled. Two beautiful blond boys sleeping soundly in the bed, Sam's arm draped possessively over Isaac's smaller body. Transformer sheets pulled up along with a blanket and then folded over. Isaac's I.V's on his side of the bed, Sam's on his. Pajama's that were a little too big looking for Isaac, a little too snug for Sam.

Olivia sobbed, covering her mouth with her hands and weeping. Alex wasn't sure if it was relief or the pain that parent's must feel when they see their children in hospital beds. She absently rubbed her belly as Olivia pulled up a chair next to her boys and pulled the blankets back, inspecting every square inch of their bodies. Toes that peeked out of medicated gauze. Alex watched as Olivia's slender and delicate hands grazed the large bandage over Sam's calf as she wept, "What did he do to you baby?" she whispered.

Olivia lowered the safety railing and perched next to Sam's body, reaching over and inspecting Isaac, who clicked his tongue in his sleep and smiled softly at his mother's caress. Isaac snuggled in tighter to the safety of his brother's embrace and exhaled. Olivia chuckled through her tears and lightly touched Isaac's back, not knowing where he would hurt, "I don't think I've ever seen you in so many clothes before, monkey."

Sam stirred, a small moan escaping his lips, "Hi baby," Olivia whispered. Sam stayed still, pulled Isaac tighter, "It's okay, honey. It's mom… I'm not gonna hurt you."

Alex watched the interaction between Olivia and her sons, truly her love for her sons ruined her and that was the best thing Alex had ever seen happen in Olivia's life. Other than Elliot. Elliot, her husband, who lay on a cold operating table, hopefully being pieced back together so he can be with his wife and kids. Elliot. Olivia's beating heart. Alex exhaled knowing that without him, Olivia will cease to exist, and while she may not sit precariously on a bridge as Casey did, she will cease to exist just the same.

"Sam," Olivia whispered again and slowly rested her hand on his shoulder. He flinched at her touch. Balled up into a tighter form and pulled Isaac closer. "Oh, honey," Olivia's voice broke, "no, baby, I'm not gonna hurt you… please come to me, son. Please?"

Sam's silent tears were evident and he wasn't moving a muscle. Alex could see the pain that washed over Olivia's face and her heart broke for her. Isaac began to stir, a moan of pain, a grimace coming across his features as his eyes opened and then slammed shut. He began to cry and Sam instantly ran his hand over his shaved head, a soft kiss to his cheek and gentle rocking as they lay together. Olivia was amazed at the interaction but she needed so desperately to wrap her arms around one of them. Both of them. Isaac's eyes settled and he quickly went back to sleep.

"Wow," Olivia whispered, "you're such an amazing boy Samuel," she sniffled.

_Please let me hold you. Please don't be afraid of me. I need you so much right now._

Sam wiped at his tears but remained unmoving. Terrified. Scared of his mother. The woman he loved, the woman who'd become his sight. His heart.

"Samuel," she whispered, "you did so well, taking care of your brothers and Hannah… can I hug you for that?" she asked softly.

_Please let me hug you. I want to feel you. I want to smell you and know that my eyes are telling the truth, please Sam. Let me hold you; let me wrap my arms around you._

Isaac began to cry even as he slept and Olivia could see the nervousness seep into Sam's face as he tried to sooth him again.

"Baby," Olivia whispered, "come to me, please? Just like in the pool… little steps. I'll wait, but please come to me."

_Please baby, a touch, a sob, a hand anything. I'll take anything._

Alex watched from her seat as Sam began to cry softly as he turned to his back, for the first time releasing his hold on his brother. He cried as he lay there, cried because he was scared and confused and he didn't smell his dad, he couldn't hear his breathing.

Olivia reached her hand out, palm up, "Sam, just like the pool… take my hand, son."

He sniffled as he sat up and slowly reached out for his mother's hand.

The sob escaped her mouth as soon as his small, scraped and bruised hand touched her long slender fingers and grasped them as he pulled himself up and quickly fell into her embrace crying.

Nothing had ever felt so right then to have her son in her arms. Nothing. She stroked his back as he began to cry louder, his fist balling her shirt up as his mouth fell agape to take in a raspy breath and release a piercing shrill against her shoulder, "Go ahead," she whispered softly as Isaac began to stir again, "Go ahead, son, get it all out. It was so scary wasn't it?"

He sucked in labored breaths and shrieked again, scooting deeper into her body, his legs tight around her waist and she wondered if it was okay for his leg to do that, but she wouldn't deny him this embrace, she couldn't deny herself this embrace. She felt his small belly convulse with his labored cries and she knew that her lips wouldn't be able to kiss this wound away.

Isaac's eyes locked with Olivia's when they finally opened and stayed open, "Mama," his chin began to quiver as his tears released. She pulled him close to her as he began to crawl to her. She brought him close, careful of his I.V and held her sons as they wept together. Uncontrollably. Inconsolably. Until, after nearly an hour, Isaac had fallen asleep, his back resting against Sam and Olivia's sides, her hand splayed protectively over his chest as Sam lay asleep, his face buried in her neck, fist still tight.

"Alex," Olivia whispered, her first words directed to her friend since entering the room.

"Yeah?" She responded standing to her feet, "I go him," she assured her and helped to lay Isaac down and adjust his I.V.. Olivia slowly bent her torso and lowered Sam back to the bed, hovering over his body to release his grasp from her shirt. He rolled instantly to his side and pulled his brother close to him. Olivia stretched along side him, draped one arm over the pillows and the other arm over their bodies as she continued to weep.

Uncontrollably.

Inconsolably.

Until sleep finally caressed her.

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"Excuse me," a nurse peeked into the boys' hospital room, "Is there and Olivia Stabler in here?"

"Yes," Alex said, "she's sleeping. She's not leaving so don't even think about asking her to," Alex warned, but when the nurse simply smiled she softened, "Something I can help you with?"

"Her babies were admitted hours ago, they've been checked out and are doing well but, we can't get one to take a bottle. Do you know if they're still on the breast or if they were ever on the breast?"

"She breast feeds and bottle feeds, but, I'm assuming you're talking about Hannah? She's the picky one, never know which way she's gonna go," Alex told her softly but knew it was for her own benefit. To make Hannah real again. To make light of a bad situation. To know that Hannah hadn't died, that she wouldn't be standing next to another grave consoling Olivia. Or would she?

"Can you wake her up?"

"I'm up," Olivia startled at the voices, "What's wrong?" she said frantically, "Is it Elliot? Is he okay?" she asked turning her body to see the women but seemed torn between wanting to stand and wanting to keep in contact with her boys.

"Your babies were admitted," the nurse smiled softly. "Your son is sleeping but your daughter did require a little work. We need to give her medicine, which means she needs to eat, and right now… she's not responding to the bottle."

The nurse took another step into the room, gave a cursory look at the woman and children the cops had been discussing at the nurses station. She'd never seen so many uniform officers and big cheeses in this hospital in the fourteen years she worked here. She wanted to know exactly who she was. She licked her lips, "She seems hungry but she's fussing and she won't take the bottle… we can run a line if you're too tir-"

"No." Olivia shook her head firmly, "No… please, bring her to me? Both of them?"

The nurse smiled, "Absolutely,"

Several minutes later, the same nurse as well as another walked in with two bassinets. One with a sleeping Solomon the other with a fussy Hannah. Olivia sobbed as she reached in a picked up Hannah, "Hey," she whispered to Hannah and assessed her daughter with gentle hands. "What happened to her?" she asked the nurse and motioned to Hannah's tiny splinted arm.

"Not sure how it happened," she explained, "but her forearm was broken according to the X-rays. She's splinted now until the swelling goes down. She'll be casted tomorrow. But, babies have incredible bone structure… she'll be just fine, with some tender loving care."

"She in pain?"

"Well more than likely, which is probably why she's adamantly against the bottle… but, she's hungry, which is good. Right now… she doesn't seem _greatly_ affected by it, although I'm sure that will be a different story tomorrow."

"My son?" Olivia motioned to Solomon, "How is he?" she asked as she quickly scooted around to allow space for Hannah to lay. She opened her shirt and moved her bra, allowing Hannah to latch on with out incident as she lay in the gentle caress of her mother's arm and took sustenance next to her brothers.

"He's good… little bruised, he was very cold when he was found but he's a trooper."

The other nurse piped in and pointed to Sam, "The story around the nurse's station… the story the cops are chatting about in the halls, is that that little guy is a hero."

Olivia exhaled, stroked Sam's back as Hannah continued to eat and he continued to sleep, "Super hero."


	46. Chapter 46 Fury

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 45: Fury

_Twenty Hours. _

_One-thousand-two-hundred minutes._

_Seventy-two-thousand seconds._

_Seventy-two-thousand and one._

_Seventy-two-thousand and two… three… four._

"Why haven't they told me anything, Alex?" Olivia whispered through her exhaustion. "It's been close to twenty hours."

Alex perched herself on the foot of the bed that contained four beautiful children, one terrified wife, none of which had left each others side since being reunited. "I don't know," Alex told her honestly. "I've checked with the nurse's station every thirty minutes and they're not saying a word, just that they're working on him… bringing in a couple of specialists."

"The neuro surgeon?" Olivia sniffled, "yeah, you told me about that."

"Cragen… is here. Do you want to-"

"No... no," Olivia shook her head softly and ran her finger along Solomon's jaw as she lay next to her sleeping children. "When I gave birth to Solomon," she said gently, "it was the most intense experience of my life, and Elliot was right next to me," she chuckled softly, "he'd made me this hospital gown with pictures on it… I still have it."

Alex bit her lip and exhaled softly, "He'll be here to take more pictures with you. You know that, right?"

Olivia trailed her finger along Solomon's blond hair, "He was so excited when the doctor said the baby was a boy… you should have seen his face. It was the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen from him." Olivia passed her hand to Hannah and stroked her leg softly, "Then Hannah surprised us by not wanting to show up… she's always wanted to kick back and relax, just like her old man." Olivia swiped her tear and returned her hand to Hannah's belly as she lay between Solomon and Sam with Isaac just beyond his older brother.

"When they told me I needed surgery," Olivia whispered, "I was so nervous. I didn't know if the medicine would hurt the baby, and I didn't want to be awake during a surgery, but Elliot… he pulled me through, made me strong and… while I thought he had the most beautiful smile when Solomon was born, it was nothing compared to the look on his face when he held Hannah for the first time… his smiles were different, with each baby but they each, in their own way, showed his undying love for them, for us."

"He'll smile again, Olivia. You've got to believe in that. You've got to trust that. Because, just like you needed him to get through that surgery, and that fear, he needs you to get through this. He needs you to be strong for him, for the kids-"

"I'm so weak without him," she sobbed, "I can't raise these babies on my own. I can't give them the love they need on my own, I can't."

"You don't have to," Alex said, reaching over and rubbing Olivia's back, "Honey, you don't have to, because you're not alone."

"If he… if Elliot leaves me-'

"He won't."

"But… if he does," she repeated, "I wont make it. I don't think I will."

"You will, because he's not leaving you."

Olivia kissed Solomon's head softly, "You can't promise me that I won't, one day, wake up and he'll never be next to me again."

"Olivia… he's gonna have a recovery period, yes, and there will be nights where he wont be next to you in bed, yes, but, you won't be alone. Robert and I are just as committed to you and Elliot and your children as you are to Robert and I and our little one," Alex smiled softy as she rubbed her belly, "We're not walking away from you. You won't be alone… no matter what happens. You'll never be alone."

Olivia nodded her head softly and sobbed draping her arms around her children, holding them all, trying desperately to absorb the Elliot that all four of them possessed. That smirk, bright eyes, lips, laugh, rebellion and constant questioning. Love. Four children, all a result of Elliot's love for her.

Alex waited for Olivia to drift off next to her children before very gently lifting her arm and delicately extracting Solomon who had woken up, perhaps from his mother's proximity, perhaps from her weeping even as she slept. But, when his cheek had nuzzled her breast and he began to fuss, Alex took him so she didn't wake back up. She needed to be out of her misery, even if it was for only minutes at a time, Alex knew those were precious minutes she didn't have to worry if Elliot would ever come home.

Gently, Alex laid Solomon on the free bed and quickly changed his diaper, took a bottle, placed on the counter by a nurse only minutes before Olivia broke down again, she sat softly in a chair and fed him, smiling down as he looked up at her and smiled around the nipple.

"Yeah," Alex whispered, "I know you don't care where the milk is coming from, so long as it's coming."

He kicked his feet at the sound of her voice and continued to suck happily on the nipple, oblivious to the fact that his father was fighting for his life, his mother for her sanity and Sam for his strength. Alex continued to feed the young life in her arms as she stared at the sleeping group on the bed. She thought that she understood what hell was when she was ripped from Manhattan and placed in a city she didn't know, surrounded by people she didn't know. She thought she knew hell when she witness Elliot and Olivia unravel after loosing Isaac, she even thought she understood hell when her friend, who worked as a hostage negotiator, called her to tell her one of her best friends assumed the role of jumper.

She knew now that hell was nothing compared to waiting to know if you'll loose your lover, your friend, your heart. Surely hell hath no fury, no greater heartache or torture than to witness your best friend, one you consider a sister, slowly break and know, that there is nothing you can do to stop it. Alex nodded her head softly, confirming her assessment. That was exactly what hell is, knowing that if Elliot doesn't pull through, if he does leave Olivia, she will be helpless in consoling her.

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"Alex?"

"Mac," Alex smiled and wrapped her arms around him, "it's good to see you. You've been a stranger."

"Work… it's been," he shook his head and exhaled, "well, I think we all know how it's been," he said sitting on a plastic chair in the hallway, "Any update on Elliot?"

"I was just talking to the nurses, the nuero surgeon and an orthopedic specialist just arrived about twenty minutes ago… they're bringing in someone that is a specialist with spinal injuries."

"Spinal injury?" he shook his head in shock, "that's… that's not good, Alex."

"No. No it's not, but you know, Casey, when she was attacked, she suffered a major injury to her back. Took about three months but look at her now."

"She's getting out of a psych ward," he exhaled and shook his head, "I'm sorry, that was inappropriate…I just, have you thought about the irony?"

"Of?"

"The situation… they get Isaac back and instead of it being Casey and her husband beaten in the Stabler's house… it's Stabler himself. Beaten within an inch of his life with a crow bar."

"Crow bar?" she arched her brow, "That's confirmed?"

"Yeah… yeah, it was at the scene when Fin and I processed it. Cragen tried to give the case to homicide, but they won't take it."

"Why? It's attempted murder!" Alex hissed.

Mac exhaled and looked away, "He… he was beaten, Alex."

"I know… he almost died. He would have died if you guys didn't get to him-"

"No," Mac shook his head, "No… I saw them cut away his clothing… Alex, it was like," he scrubbed his hands over his unshaven face, and exhaled.

"Like what?" Alex whispered not sure she wanted to know.

"It was like…White must have hit him and hit him and hit him in his genitals because… there was so much damage. Blood, the paramedic turned pale before finally snapping into motion."

Alex closed her eyes, "So… now it's back to SVU."

"Yeah," he nodded softly, "He's messed up Alex, I mean… I couldn't even recognize him at first, not until Fin wiped some of the blood off of his face," his voice broke and he quickly cleared his throat, "Uh, the dog… it looks like the dog attacked, but White raised his hands defensively when Zeus lunged. He was bitten several times but couldn't get to the jugular before White stabbed him over and over again."

"Did he die?"

"No. K-9 took him in. I sort of name dropped… used Cragen's name without his permission."

"I don't think he cares."

"He said he didn't… a K-9 commander took an unofficial look at the scene, at some pictures of Whites bite marks… that's what the theory is. That's what he told me, that Zeus tried as best he could. He called Cragen after Zeus came out of surgery and he said the way the knife wounds were, Zeus hadn't given up… he was stabbed several times though, and I think it must have been the last one that finally made him release."

"He did his job… protected those kids." Alex assured him, "What will happen to him?"

"I'll pick him up from the vet and keep him until Olivia can figure things out. She's got more important things on her plate right now."

"And Tripod?"

Mac swallowed hard, "Sam's gonna be devastated."

"No," Alex whispered in a raspy voice, "No."

"He looked fine at the house," he shook his head, "but they took him to the vet anyways and they were examining him… he had a seizure on the table… they think he might have been hit, maybe kicked in the head or something when he attacked White."

"He attacked white?"

"On the deck… according to the bloodly footprints, it looks like he was going after the kids. If Tripod hadn't of bit him and held on like he did, White would have gotten to them. I'm sure of it."

"Tripod," Alex smirked, "he was such a grumpy little dog, but loved Sam to death."

"He provided enough time that Sam could run. The vets… they'd managed to get him settled and stabilized, but he had another seizure and," he shook his head and swallowed. "Sam's gonna take it hard."

"Sam's… already taking the situation hard. I don't think he needs to know right now."

"I couldn't tell him, not even if you were forcing me to."

"Is there… can you tell me anything else?"

Mac shook his head, "They sent us home, we haven't been able to process the rest of the scene, they're using SVU detectives from a different precinct to investigate… unbiased opinion."

Alex touched his forearm and squeezed gently, "Elliot's gonna be fine."

"Fin drank himself into oblivion."

She nodded, "I'll call him, maybe talk to him as soon as we figure out what's happening here."

"You think he's gonna pull through?" Mac asked softly.

"You know Elliot," she tried to joke, "he's very dramatic. He'll pull through."

Mac exhaled, "If he doesn't… she won't make it."

Alex leaned back in the chair, rested her head against the wall, "I know. I've been sitting here, praying to a God I haven't prayed to since I was nine and begging him, just short of selling my soul, to let Elliot live through this."

Mac exhaled "Can I see her?"

Alex looked at him in surprise. Yes they worked together. Yes she knew Mac and Olivia were friends, but were they close enough for her to want to see him right now? She'd said 'no' to Cragen, said 'no' when Carp stopped by in the late morning. She'd repeated her position when Robert stopped by and even Alex had been evicted a few times from the hospital room, "I don't know… she's not really talking much and she's… well she's barely coping with this mess."

"I just… I picked some stuff up from the house, I… I'd like to see her, please? If she asks me to leave or if she's upset in any way, I'll leave. I promise."

Alex exhaled, "Okay, but… can you make it short? And please, she hasn't gotten a lot of sleep… if she's still sleeping; don't wake her up. And whatever you do don't tell her anything that you've told me… she's not ready. Okay?"

Mac picked up the brown bag he carried and bowed his head, "You have my word."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mac had never known that casting material could come in a soft pink color, but as he peered over Olivia's sleeping body and saw Hannah's eyes wide open, her arm casted, he knew it was possible. She fussed, just as soon as she realized someone was in the room paying attention to her.

Softly, gently, he maneuvered around Olivia and picked up the small bundle, sitting in the chair to the side of the bed, "I've got milk for you," he whispered and quietly opened the bag. "Your mom froze a whole fortune of this stuff in the freezer and I think it's ready to go for you… want some?" he asked as he dug around for the plastic cylinder and delicately placed the liner inside, twisting the cap over it, "It's a bit cold, but no chunks," he smiled and was surprised that she willingly accepted the nipple. "My son was just like you," he whispered, "so picky about his milk, and what it all came down to was the temperature… I'll have to tell your mother to try and make the bottle a little cooler, huh?" he asked and gently rocked her.

"I've already made a mental note," Olivia said groggily and slowly sat up, running her hand through her hair, "Mac… why are you here? You should be home, resting."

"I should be here, with my friend," he told her still peering down at Hannah. "My son… he'd feed from his mother, sometimes picky, sometimes not, but when it came to the bottle, it could be a nightmare… one day I had to make his bottle. I thought you were supposed to just let the milk defrost and boom, instant bottle. I didn't know that Delilah warmed them… I gave him this defrosted bottle of milk and he took to it like a duck to water and Delilah wanted to kill me because he started to prefer the bottle over her breast… but it worked out."

"Delilah?" Olivia whispered, "That's a beautiful name… you've never, I mean you don't-"

"I know," he shook his head and finally looked up at Olivia. "He's gonna pull through."

She bowed her head, "They've called in specialists… that's not a good sign. We both know that."

"Yes, but we also know that Elliot was in good physical condition and he is very capable of pulling through this."

She licked her lips and tilted her head looking at Mac, "What happened to Delilah and your son?"

Mac swallowed hard as his eyes turned a soft red, "I was running late. She was still on maternity leave but she'd taken our son to her office in the towers. I was supposed to have helped her days prior to the eleventh. I was supposed to get everything situated for her return the next day… I was- I let a case go too long and…"

Olivia felt guilty for asking but she had to know, she had to know that someone else had went through something this bad and survived and still turned into a fighter, "You don't h-"

"She and my son… were on the same floor that the first plane hit. From what I've learned… it would have been quick," he chuckled bitterly, "she'd just gotten the promotion… office with a window."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said softly and gently wiped the excess milk that pooled around the corner of Hannah's mouth.

"It still hurts?"

"Yes… sometimes it hits me when I least expect it, sometimes… well, I'm not big on Christmas."

"How do you live… each day without them? I don't know if… if Elliot doesn't pull through, I don't know that I could go each day without him."

"He's going to pull through," Mac told her boldly, "he's gonna pull through and he's gonna be the same man you fell in love with, the same man you've had beautiful children with and the same man that you'll spend the rest of your life with."

"But, if… he doesn't… how do you go on knowing, knowing that you lost the only one that mattered?"

Mac exhaled and rubbed his hand lightly over Hannah's cheek before standing and placing her softly in her mother's arms, "If, and I really mean_ if_, that happens. You look down at these four precious gifts that God has given you, and you see Elliot in them, and you go on knowing that now, they're the only ones that matter. You look at them and you find Elliot in their voice, their features, their decisions and their mannerisms, you look at them and you know that Elliot is still with you."

Olivia pressed her lips together, struggling to hold in her tears. She shook her head, "But I want him next to me. I need him."

Mac smiled softly and tipped her chin up, "And he'll be there, no matter what the outcome is, he'll never leave you."

'_I'll haunt you until the day you die, Liv.'_

'_Well, if you're gonna haunt me, you'd better find a way to make love to me, because I don't think I could handle just seeing you.'_

Olivia met her lips to Hannah's forehead, "Thank you, Mac."

Mac gave a silent nod and picked up the bag, "Um, there was extra liners filled with what I'm assuming in breast milk-"

"Yeah… I would keep it so," she smiled softly, "Elliot loves to be apart of their feedings any way he can, he use to nag me to keep a healthy stock."

Mac chuckled, "Us men… we're so jealous that you ladies get to breast feed and get that special connection. We're manly, but put our babies in our arms and we whish we had breasts."

Olivia surprised herself with a laugh and licked her lips, "Thank you, Mac… thank you for… letting me know I can still laugh."

"Of course you can," he smiled and brought a small picture frame out of the bag and placed it on the counter, "he would want it that way," he said pointing to the framed picture of Elliot sleeping on the couch, all four of their kids snuggled around him. "I'm gonna take this insulated bag, it's got the milk in it, I'm gonna leave it at the nurses station… uh, my wife, um," he rubbed the back of his neck, "Uh, when she would be under a lot of stress, her milk flow wasn't exactly right on the money… I figure you can use the back up. I'll tell them to keep it frozen."

Olivia smiled then frowned, "Mac?"

"Yeah?" he asked pulling out a small stack of magazines from the bag, "I got these for you… might get your mind off things."

"Thank you… did you see him?"

He sighed, drummed his fingertips over a copy of People magazine, "Yeah."

She swallowed a sob, "Is it… did he, does it look bad?"

He took in a deep breath and smiled, "Elliot's got a thick head… he's gonna pull through."

Olivia nodded softly, "Thank you… for not telling me."

"Olivia-"

"No," she shook her head, "I wasn't being sarcastic, I really mean it… I don't know if I want to know… not yet."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paul Novak held his hand out, palm up, and waited for Casey to take it. He laced his fingers with hers just as soon as she'd touched him, "I'd like to take you to get some real food in you… if you're up for that."

"Paul," her eyes swelled with tears as the cool wind caressed them both, "I'm so sorry."

He closed the space between them, cupped her face gently, "I love you."

She reached up and covered his hand with hers kissing the inside of his palm, "I'm sorry, I've put you through this. I'm sorry I've done this to you and to Addison."

Paul smiled and tangled his fingers through her hair, "Hey, no. No, you and me, we're indestructible Case. We got our butts kicked the last few weeks but the wars not over, right?"

She sniffled, "You just walked your wife out of psych ward."

"Correction," he whispered and kissed her lips gently, "I just walked my beautiful wife and my best friend out of a hospital where she needed to hang out for a couple of days."

She arched a brow, "Hang out?"

He grinned, "Come on… I know you spent your time playing cards."

She chuckled softly, "Not exactly. No."

His lips met the corner of her mouth as his eyes closed, "Casey, I love you. I don't care if I was walking you out of a courtroom, or a prison or a psych ward. You're my wife and nothing changes that. Nothing changes my feelings for you. They didn't change when we were apart all those years and they don't change now. So you went a little nutso," he smiled, thankful when she did as well, "we all have our weak moments… I just need you to talk to me."

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, "I know I pushed you. I'm sorry, I feel so badly about it. I feel like… like maybe you would have been better off if I'd jumped."

"I thank God, every waking second that Olivia had the balls to cuff herself to you."

Casey sobbed and laughed at once as she held up a bruised wrist, "I'm starting to believe those reports of her cuffing practices being a little rough."

Paul took her bruised wrist in his hand and brought it to his mouth kissing it gently, "Let me make it go away, Casey," he whispered to her, "let me kiss away the hurt and the shame and the humiliation… let me take it away."

Her chin quivered as the wind blew her hair over her face. He moved it away and she looked up at him, "I'm not… I'm not sure I know how to give it to you."

He rested his forehead against hers, vaguely aware that people were walking by them, in and out of the hospital doors, "Then we'll figure out together, we'll do it together, but Case, baby, you can't push me away, you can't push me and Addy out of your life… please?"

She cupped his face, kissed him gently, "How is he?"

"Good," he grinned, "Robert and Alex take such good care of him. I saw him this morning and he's spoiled rotten. He's got stuffed animals to wrestle with and Robert seems to already be teaching him about chess, which is funny considering Addison hasn't a clue what he's talking about."

Casey smiled, "I missed him… while I was in here, I missed you guys. It was… lonely."

"I know," he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him, "I know it was, baby… they're not exactly friendly about letting people visit when their in observation."

"I know… Olivia said you got her in."

"Wasn't easy."

"Thank you… I needed that."

"Good visit?"

"She read me the riot act… then cried and told me she loved me to no end, like a sister…. Law degree or otherwise."

He pulled her back gently, "I feel the same way… I didn't marry you for your degree; I married you because I love you. I fell so head over heels in love with you that I couldn't' see straight, and when," he bowed his head as he started to cry, "Case… when they told me you were on the bridge, when Olivia told me in the hospital you'd had a gun, my world collapsed and it was miserable… Casey, I can't loose you. I'm just a pharmaceutical shmuck without you," he chuckled through his tears as he rested his forehead against hers again, "Don't make me into a shmuck Casey, please? Stay by my side, stay with me and make me out to be an amazing guy."

"You already are," she whispered, wiping his tear with her thumb.

"Not if you're not next to me, I'm not."

She smiled softly, "Then… I'll have to stay next to you, to prove it to you."

He let out a sob of relief and pulled her close to him, "I love you."

"I love you."

He pulled her back, kissed her softly on her lips, "Let me take you out, let me give you a proper meal, I know the food in there had to be less than edible."

"Can we call Elliot and Olivia? I told her I'd call her when I was released from captivity," she chuckled.

His eyes grew downcast, but he quickly recovered, "They're out of town."

"Really?" she grinned, "that's good… kids?"

He cleared his throat, "Uh, with them."

"Good… they need that," she said softly not sure of what to make of his sudden shift in confidence.

"Case?"

"Yeah?"

"Alfredo's or Fat Jacks?"

She smiled, "You call that a proper meal?"

He laughed, slipped his hands into her back pockets, "What would you like?"

"Pizza?"

He arched a brow, "Good to know you think pizza is proper meal."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Excuse me? Mrs. Stabler?"

"Olivia," Alex whispered and gently shook her, "Olivia a doctor is h-"

"Hmm?" Olivia bolted up, "Doctor-wha-how is he?" she asked trying to orient herself with the room, "How's my husband? Can I see him?" she asked, swinging her legs off of the bed and adjusting the safety rail for her children.

"He's," the doctor exhaled and motioned for Olivia to sit down, "why don't you take a seat."

Olivia's arm grabbed for Alex as she struggled to keep standing, "He's dead."

The doctor's eyes grew wide, "No, no. Not at all. But things are complicated; I think it would be better for you to take a seat."

"Complicated?" Olivia whispered as she slowly sat, "What do you mean by complicated? How complicated? What's complicated? What's happening?"

"Mrs. Stabler-"

"Olivia!" she snapped, "Please! Will someone just talk to me!"

The doctor rested her hand on her shoulder, "Olivia, I'm doctor Olsen, I was the chief surgeon working on your husband along with very skilled and talented doctors-"

"Can I see him?" Olivia asked shrugging the doctors hand away, "Please, can I see my husband?"

Dr. Olsen exhaled, "I feel compelled to prepare you for what you're going to see."

Olivia's eyes furrowed and her chin quivered, "What?" she asked in a raspy whispered, "What will I see?"

Alex sat next to Olivia and rubbed her back as the doctor began to speak, "He's unconscious right now," she started softly, "when the ambulance got to him… we're not sure how long he wasn't breathing but the detectives did immediate C.P.R until the paramedics got there. That's a positive point for us. The machines are breathing for him right now, so you're gonna see a tub-"

"I know what that means," Olivia sniffled and wiped a tear, "he and I… we're both cops. Used to be the best team out there."

The doctor gave a sad smile and continued, "Olivia, your husband sustained a massive amount of trauma to his head, the swelling right now, in his brain, is tremendous."

Olivia licked her lips and looked down, "Brain damage?"

"We don't know," she said softly, "But, in order to control the swelling, a very good brain surgeon has performed a simple procedure where a hole is drilled into his skull and a tube is inserted to relieve the fluid."

"Hole," Olivia repeated, "in his skull? You drilled it?"

"Another surgeon did, yes… it's gonna help him in the long run, but I'll caution you that if the swelling worsens the doctor is staying close to the city to perform an emergency surgery where we actually need to separate the skull."

Olivia brought her eyes up to the doctor and almost seemed to stare right through her, "We have four kids… he wants another one. He loves our kids so much," she whispered.

"I'm optimistic… I'm a person who believes in prayer and miracles more than I do my own craft. However, I need to tell you the full extent of his injuries are damaging, and I'm positive that, had he not been is such good physical condition, he wouldn't' have made it this far."

Olivia chuckled bitterly and wiped her nose with the ridge of her hand, "He just got this desk job. It drives him nuts, but he gets to be home with the kids… he's been working out at the precinct in his spare time."

"That's another positive point for us," the doctor smiled and exhaled, "He's broken four ribs, three on his right side and one on his left. One of my nurses said he was a familiar patient, she grabbed his chart for us and that's helped us make better decisions. His cheek bone was shattered, one of the specialists that was called in is the best in the country and he's managed to use a steal plate and screws to reconstruct and help heal the bone. He's going to require another surgery in the future but as of right now, there seems to be no damage to his eye. According to his chart, he'd had a pretty remarkable surgery performed?"

Olivia nodded through her tears, "Yes… he, was slammed into a window. Almost two years after that, I accidentally hit him and fractured his cheek, the doctors said the bone could splinter and re damage his eye if he wasn't careful."

"Well… the ophthalmologist is confident his eye is fine. There is a tremendous amount of swelling in his face, though, so don't be surprised if he does wake up and can't see out of it."

Olivia nodded, accepted the tissue Alex handed her and dabbed at her tired eyes, "Is that all? I mean," she cleared her throat, "That's enough… but, is there more?"

The doctor exhaled "Yes, Olivia, there is. I'm sorry, but right now… your husband sustained a massive amount of trauma to his legs and hips and lower back."

"His back?" she whispered.

"Yes, right now, he's still unconscious so it's difficult to tell if he responds to painful stimuli but from preliminary tests… he's not."

"He's. Not." Olivia repeated the two words, "What are you telling me? That he's paralyzed?"

"We have to wait and see if it's permanent… there are a fair amount of injuries and cases where people are temporarily paralyzed and they come out of it with time and aggressive physical therapy."

"Physical. Therapy. Paralyzed." Olivia repeated, "Paralyzed."

"Right now… a doctor, who I have a great deal of faith in, has reconstructed his leg-"

"Reconstructed?" Olivia looked up sharply, "What do you mean?"

"Elliot's leg," the doctor licked her lips and tried to get the information out as best as she could, "it was shattered. The doctors have a fixator on the outside of his leg to hold his bones together, there's fifteen pins drilled into his leg to keep it stable. Right now we're optimistic, but with all bone breaks, especially one such as this, we must take into consideration the chance for a bone infection and possible removal of the leg,"

Olivia crumbled her face into her hands, her elbows to her knees as she sobbed. Alex wrapped her arms around her knowing that the worst part hadn't even been mentioned yet. She offered soothing strokes to Olivia's shaking body and let her friend gather herself before sitting up and looking back at the doctor, "Wh-what's the likelihood?"

"I've been a doctor for twenty-three years and I've only seen it twice… it happens, but we've taken every precaution so that it doesn't."

Olivia worried her bottom lip, "So… if he's not paralyzed, he still has to worry about his leg healing correctly? Will he walk normally?"

"Right now… it's just too hard to tell. The opposite leg also sustained a fair amount of tragedy. It appears that whoever attacked your husband-"

"Richard White," Olivia told her matter of fact, "Richard White attacked my husband. In our home. While my children were there, and I was… at work… I should have been there for him, I should have, I tried to get to him. I wanted to get to him," she shook her head and sobbed. "He was beaten and scared and dying and I was… at work."

"Don't go there," the doctor told her softly, a reassuring hand covering Olivia's as Alex remained close, "Elliot's hamstring was cut but I'm confidant it will heal nicely. Internally, his kidney has ruptured, but the beautiful thing about the human body is its ability to heal its self. The kidney is sort of in its own pouch if you will, it will repair its self. He'll need blood test every four to six hours but, it will heal. His hip isn't broken-"

"Hip?"

"It appeared to have sustained repeated blows, the orthopedic specialist was worried in might have been cracked or broken but the X-ray came back in good condition, that's very good for his recovery."

"Can I see him?"

"Olivia… your husband, he required over a hundred stitches to his back, his buttocks and his calves… that healing time is going to be slow because we have to keep him on his back. It's going to require constant cleaning and it's going to be excruciating for him. Right now, we don't want him to wake up. The longer he stays unconscious the better… to a point."

"A point? Are you saying he may not wake up?" she asked with wide eyes.

"There is that possibility… yes."

"If he wakes up… what about the brain damage? Will he have any?"

"He could, and then again he may not. If he does, it can range anywhere from him having to relearn everyday things like tying his shoes to talking or remembering short term things. He may need help feeding himself, but… lets not think about that until we have to, huh?"

"Please don't let there be more," Olivia shook her head, "I can tell there is. I can hear it in your voice, but I don't want there to be more."

"He… had a knife go through his hand, may have caused some nerve damage, but it stitched up nicely, he uh… your husband appears to have… been hit several times in his groin. We, I'm sorry to tell you… we removed two nails-"

Olivia looked up sharply, "What?"

"Looks like, possibly a pipe or something along those lines according to the markings of the blows, but the nails were the type that would come from a nail gun. One was easily removed, it entered just at the base of his shaft, the other pierced his testicle."

Olivia covered her face with her hands and sobbed, "I should have kept on him about the nail gun. I told him it was dangerous."

"Well, if it's any consolation… what the officer that was briefing us in the O.R. said was the attacker had been shot with several nails… my guess is, your husbands injuries were an afterthought, but… I'm not a cop."

"Afterthought," Olivia whispered and nodded, "Afterthought."

The doctor exhaled deeply, "He's catheterized right now, and I'll be honest, with the damage, it was very difficult to do. We were forced, to uh, remove one of his testicles. The force of the beating and the nail… ruptured his left testicle, but the urologist insists he'll be fine by way urination, once the swelling has gone down."

"By way of urination," Olivia repeated slowly. "Are you telling me that, he might have problems in the future? Are you telling me," she began to raise her voice in anger and hurt and frustration and misery, "that _if_ he's not paralyzed, and _if_ his leg doesn't have to be removed, and _if_ his knee heals and _if_ his kidney gets better that he will _still_ have to stare down the barrel of another uncertain situation? Is that what you're telling me?"

The doctor exhaled, "I'm telling you that… the best place for your husband, right now, is in all of our prayers."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Richard White woke up," Carp said, leaning against the door frame to Cragen's office.

Cragen stared at a photo on his desk, "Pity."

"Sir? I thought you'd be happy… we can nail him now, he's awake, detectives are en route to question him and the doctors think he'll be out of the hospital within a day or two… Fin's a bad shot by the way, two to the shoulder."

Cragen smirked and turned the frame around so Carp could see it, "That picture was the first Christmas ball that Benson and Stabler went to as partners. She'd been here for about four months," he said of the picture where he was flanked by the two detectives. "The day she got here, Elliot came into my office and pleaded with me not to assign her to him… I thought it was the whole chauvinist pig thing, but he said if I teamed them up, he'd fall in love with her and it would ruin his career."

"It's not Benson's fault, what happened," Carp said as he sat.

"Didn't say it was," Cragen smiled softly and pointed back at the photo of Olivia in a black evening gown, Elliot in a suit and, at that time, clip on tie, "I didn't believe him… I sort of thought he was just a male looking at a pretty woman. Heck, the first day she walked in here I almost had a heart attack," he chuckled. "It wasn't until that night," he smiled and pointed at the photo, "that I knew I had a problem on my hands."

"How so?" Carp asked, intrigued as to this inside glance at his partner's love life that ended in marriage.

"She walked into that room and I swear every straight man, and a few not so straight men, I might add, turned their heads and stared and the funny thing was, she was oblivious to it. Completely unaware that every man in that room wanted her. I watched Elliot stroll up to her like a nervous ten year old asking a girl to his first dance… her eyes lit up and I knew it would be a matter of time before I was dragged in front of the Morris Commission because of those two."

"You were?"

"I was," Cragen smiled, "and I didn't mind. As the years went by, I think they tried to fight the attraction between one another but… some things you can't fight."

"She is a fighter though."

"She also knows when to concede," Cragen smiled, "She'd kill me if I told you this, but the day after that Christmas ball, she came into my office and asked to be transferred to another SVU unit."

"I take it you didn't do it?" Carp smiled.

"No," Cragen shook his head, "No. I asked her why and she gave me a lame story about being the only woman… that's not her style. I called her on it and I think that was the first time I'd really seen her squirm."

"You made her stay."

"I didn't make her stay here. I just didn't give her an option of another SVU, I told her she could go to robbery or vice."

"SVU is in her blood."

"Which is why she risked her heart. I know those two would eventually get involved and I never thought twice about staking my career on them."

"He'll pull through."

Cragen exhaled, "I hope, for Olivia's sake, that you're right."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Twenty-two hours._

_One-thousand-three-hundred and twenty minutes._

_Seventy-nine-thousand-two-hundred seconds._

_Seventy-nine-thousand-two-hundred and one…two…three. _

Olivia stopped just as soon as her eyes caught glimpse of her husband's body. From twenty feet away she could already feel his physical pain, see his swollen features. Hear a machine sustain his life. She wrung her hands before wiping her sweaty palms on her thighs and taking slow, almost timid steps as if the vibration of her movement would cause him pain.

He looked as if he'd just stormed the gates of hell and overthrew Satan himself. The doctor had tried to prepare her for what she saw, but as she looked over his body with careful eyes, she found herself unprepared. The constant beeping that told her his heart was beating. It was almost comforting until she heard the breathing machine, it's up and down motions forcing his chest to do just the same, one…two…three…four. Each rise and fall, letting him live longer, giving her hope that he'd pull through. But was it false hope?

She wiped the tears that fell uncontrollably from her eyes. She was scared to touch him, scared to break him even more than he already was. His legs, sprawled wide, the metal contraption that looked more as if it belong in a torture museum than on his leg, held his badly shattered, bruised and swollen limb together. She counted the rods that were drilled through the outside of his leg to help the bone fuse back together. Doctor was right. Fifteen.

His other leg, although bandaged high and shaven in splotches looked just as bad. Stitches here and there along his shin. He must have crawled. She held her lips tight as she cried into her hand. Elliot had crawled, he'd been so beaten that all he could do was crawl. The man she loved, the man she'd made love to only last night, crawled.

For his life.

While she was at the station browsing files.

Some wife.

A towel was his only covering to protect his modesty and while she was warned of the procedure they were forced to perform she still gasped once she'd gently pulled the large towel back. He was swollen, purple and black. Her husband, Elliot, catheterized. Stitches marked him at the base of his shaft. The nail. His testicle removed, stitched as if he were a science project rather than her lover, friend. She exhaled a shaky breath and lowered the towel.

His chest, that proud chest that only hours ago had stretched so boldly over her as he made love to her, now seemed so fragile. The wires leading from the machines to the patches stuck to his skin. The sparse amount of chest hair that she traced her fingers through the first time they'd made love, was now shaven away, as if the nurses were deliberately trying to take that memory from her. From them.

His hand bandaged tight and held protectively in a makeshift splint of pillow and tape. Right hand. Gun hand. She trailed her finger softly from his abdomen along his torso. He was so swollen. Boot prints decorated his body as if they were sisters to his tattoos, as if they were supposed to be there. Bold, bright, angry boot prints, embedded into her husband's body. She swallowed hard, traced her fingertip gently to his badly split lip, his cut brow, his cheek covered and bandaged as if he were a wounded marine that had just taken on the entire Middle East himself. His face, more like a swollen sumo wrestler than her husband. Her sexy husband. Still sexy. Still her husband, but for how long? Would he pull through and come back to her or will the last memory of them together be in the hallway of the precinct. A snuck in kiss, a carefree laugh. The hospital bed.

She bent low, grazed his lips gently with hers and let her tears fall from her cheeks, down to his face in hopes that maybe, just maybe, they could bring him back to her. In hopes that he could somehow feel her lips, her tears. Her fear.

Pulling away from him was unbearable, she wanted to climb into the bed next to him, wrap his one good arm around her and hold him. In shock, she lowered herself into the seat next to the bed, "Hi baby," she whispered and pulled the chair close enough to lace her hand with his. She rested her head on the cool sheet and looked up at him, his head shaven in the same manner as Isaac had done only a day or so ago. One quick clean swipe, only Elliot had a tube running from the drilled hole out to a small collection bag hanging from the bed, "Before you ask," she whispered, "Hannah and the boys are doing great," she sniffled and ran her finger over his wedding finger. His ring was gone. Was that a foreshadowing, that he'd no longer be her husband. That he was leaving her to become a widow.

She licked her lips, continued to run her thumb over his swollen knuckles, he must have fought back. "Alex," Olivia whispered, "she's with the kids right now. They're just one floor above us and guess what? I think we've figured out Hannah's bottle problem… Mac says it's all in the temperature. I gave her a bottle, just before I came up and she ate like a champ… like you, she's so much like you, El… you've got to come back to us baby, please don't go. Please come back to me," she whispered as silent tears fell.

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"Full?" Paul asked softly.

"Yeah, that was good. I haven't had pizza in a while. Why can't we watch television?"

"I want to be with you." _And I don't want you leaning about Elliot and Olivia from the news. I'll tell you when you're stronger._ "Rest with me, Case… let me hold you. I want my arms around you so bad. I've missed you so much."

"I wasn't gone long," she whispered and drew her knees under her body as they both sat on the couch.

He turned to face her, his hand making its way to stroke her hair gently, "You've been gone for a long time."

"Seventy-two hours, isn't long," she whispered.

He rested his forehead against hers and sniffled, "You left me, the minute you made your decision… and its been so lonely without you."

Her sob escaped her and she raised herself up on her knees wrapping her arms around his shoulders and resting her head on his back, "I'm so sorry, I've done this to you."

"It's not about blame," he whispered and straightened to see her, "it's not. I just need to know that you're not going anywhere again."

"What about you?" she sobbed and looked away, blinking the tears that stung her eyes.

"What about me?"

"Will you leave now?"

"Do you want me to?" he frowned and dropped his hand from her face.

She caught it quickly and brought his warm palm back to her lonely cheek, "No," she shook her head, "No. I need you with me."

He ran his thumb over her wet cheek, "That's good, because I'm not going anywhere. I don't care if you begged me to, if you locked me out of the house or if you left me… I'd look for you Casey, I'd search relentlessly for you until I found you."

"Please don't leave," she whispered.

He smiled softly, "I have no intention of leaving. I'm here for good and in a few days, when you're stronger, and you're up to it, we'll have Addison back home and you two can start building a solid foundation."

"I did it again, you know?" she swallowed hard.

He furrowed his brow, "Did what?"

She lowered her head and held tightly to the hem of his shirt, "Our first baby… we lost our baby because I put the job first, wouldn't listen to you and I miscarried-"

"Casey-"

"Then Sara… I could have sat second chair, but… I don't know why I'm like this, I don't know why I let my job drive me."

"Case-"

"I let it come between Addison and me… I did," she sniffled, "your office is filled with his toys and playpen and stuffed animals. I had a picture of him on my desk."

"Casey… I manage my own division, I can have him there. An ADA is a little different."

"You come home, and he's your world. I left my office, came home and went into the house office."

"Then… maybe this has given you some perspective, huh? He's only one, Casey, it's not too late to make him your world."

She shook her head, "Paul… I don't even know what my world is supposed to be. I feel like I've vanished – no, not that I've vanished, but… more that I've never really been."

His tear fell just as smoothly as hers, "Oh, honey, you've always been."

"Been what though?" she asked with pleading eyes.

He smiled gently and kissed her tenderly, "The center of my universe, my reason for hoping against hope that one day we'd end up together again. My reason for not leaving this house," he cracked a small smile, "even when you threw the dishes at me."

She chuckled through her tears and ran her finger along the cut of his forehead, "I'm sorry."

"I should have known a softball guru like you would have great aim."

"I'm your wife… I shouldn't be nailing you with plates," she swallowed and scooted closer to him, "I don't know what to do, and I'm so scared."

He stroked her back, kissed her temple, "Tell me about… the hospital."

"What?" she pulled back with wide eyes, "What? Why? No."

"Casey," he cupped her face, "Casey, I know that this isn't just about loosing your job. Yeah, it's a part of it, it certainly triggered something in you, but I know it's more."

She turned her face from him, "Then, let's leave it at that."

"The doctors told me you talked a great deal in your therapy sessions… what did you talk about?"

"Paul-"

He framed her face with both hands and locked his eyes with her, "Tell me, baby. For once, just tell me… why were you on that bridge? What is it about the job that has done this to you?"

"I… please don't put me through this."

"I have to," he whispered, "I have to because I love you, so, yes… I'm going to put you through this. Even if it means I have to keep watch over you twenty-four hours a day so you don't hurt yourself… I'm gonna put you through this, and I'm not gonna be sorry about it."

She tried to shake his hands from her face, he held firmly, "I'll be sorry for why it has to be, but I won't be sorry for fighting for my wife. Don't ask me to, because I won't… you mean too much to me."

She broke in his arms, her face crumbling below his fingertips and he gently brought her to rest against the strength of his chest, "It was… lonely there," she whispered, "and the first night, all I could think about, was that I should have just taken Olivia right along with me."

_Maybe you should have, she wouldn't be having to deal with what she's dealing with now_.

"You could have never done that… she knew that, that's why she slapped those cuffs on you."

"They… they ask questions all the time, I never really realized what people go through there. Paul… I was scared there, the whole time. Some patients were… strange, but some, their illness', I was afraid I'd be hurt."

"Which proves you want to live… come on Casey, you and I have both attempted suicide because we're drowning in our own misery… we've got to stand strong for each other, its not just you and me any more, we wouldn't just be leaving one of us behind… we'd be leaving Addy too."

She sniffled, "I'm so ashamed of the person I've become, that… even when they released me, my first thought was… if at first you don't succeed-"

His sob cut her off as he pulled her tighter to him and rocked her, "No," he pleaded with her, his lips against her hair, "No, no, no," he cried, "don't you think that. I won't let you anymore… you tell me what you need from me and it's done. You want to move out of New York, we move. You want to go back to school, I'll go register and stand in those long lines for your classes," he cried, "You want more babies, I'll give you more. No babies, then no more," he sobbed, "you just tell me Casey, tell me, baby, how I make this go away and It's done," he coughed for breath, "I'll sell my soul Casey… cheap too," he chuckled and cried harder, "Please baby, just tell me."

She cupped the back of his head as he cried against her, "I don't know, what I need… I don't." she whispered, "I'm so blank right now, I'm so void of everything that I don't even know who I am, or was or who I'm supposed to be," she cried, "and it's so lonely to be in that place. To have no idea who you are."

"Take me to that place," he sniffled and pulled back, tucking her hair behind her ears, "take me to that place so that I can bring you home."

She looked down at her hands in her lap, "I… when I was in the hospital… after Nick attacked us," she wiped her nose with the ridge of her hand, "when I woke up and really realized what was happening, I was so pissed off."

"That's understa-"

"No," she whispered and covered his lips with her finger, "not about not being able to walk or even about loosing Isaac… I was angry that I was still alive."

His eyes grew wide at her confession, "It's been… you've been like this for that long?"

She wiped a tear that hanged precariously on the curve of her chin, "L-longer."

"_Longer_?" he furrowed his brow, "Why, Case? Why haven't you told me? Since when? Tell me, please tell me."

"Since… our first pregnancy."

His mouth fell agape, "What? Casey… that's been years."

She sniffled, licked her lips, "Please don't hate me."

"Oh, no," he whispered and tipped her chin to meet his glassy eyes, "no, I don't… I just… why did you keep this from me? We've been in counseling, why not say something?"

"I didn't, uh… I hoped it would go away, I did, but… I was ashamed t-"

"You don't have to be ashamed of depress-"

"That's not… that's not it. Not all of it," she said.

"What is, Casey… you've got to tell me so I can walk with you through this. I've met with Vivian on my own for awhile now, and… it's helping. It helps so much."

"When," she cleared her throat and stopped.

"When what? What did you talk about in the hospital Case? What?"

She swallowed and stared into her lap, "The… miscarriages and… the attack. Addison. You."

"Tell me," he whispered and kissed her forehead, "please, please, I'm begging you to tell me, Casey."

"I felt…relieved."

"Relieved?" he questioned, "of what? That Addison was born healthy? That we we're back together? What? Was it bec-"

"That I miscarried."

He stilled, his eyes narrowing at her, "What? You… you were devastated."

"I was," she swallowed, "but… then we started having problems and… I don't know, I just, felt this relief that I wouldn't have to take care of a baby and I could just dive into my job and hold on to it and pray that it kept my sanity."

"Oh, baby," he cupped her face, "that was my fault. I… I was such an insensitive jerk. I'm so sorry I… I know I made you feel like it was your fault that we lost the baby-that you lost the baby, but… you have to know," he whispered and brought her hand to rest over his chest, "you've got to know that that's not my heart, that's not what I feel, Casey. I haven't felt that way for years…I learned so much going to a head shrinker, I did. I just wished, I'd done it sooner."

She swallowed, looked away, his stare too heavy, he brought her face back to her, sensing there was more to her confession, "What?" he asked softly, "What?"

"When I held Sara… when they let me hold her before they took her to the morgue. It was… the same feeling… I wanted Sara so bad, but at the same time," she shook her head and sobbed, "what kind of mother is relieved to hold her dead baby?"

"Casey," he said softly and stroked her cheek with his thumb, "I don't think it was relief that our baby died… I think, I made things really bad, I know my accusations of adultery couldn't have helped… maybe you were relieved that, we wouldn't bring a baby into that."

"But," she sniffled, "when Olivia told me I was pregnant… I was so scared and so happy at the same time, and then I was just laying there for months on end, and I was praying that I would die, that I wouldn't make it out of the hospital."

"But you did, you made it out."

"I know… and then, I made it past four months, and I was happy, but then I started to remember Sara and our first pregnancy and… I didn't want to be pregnant. I didn't want another baby."

He furrowed his brows, "You… you don't want Addison?"

"I do!" she said quickly, "I do! You have no idea how much I want that little boy, but… you have no idea how confusing it is to want one baby… when your not so sure you wanted the other two… as if-as if one life was somehow better than the other… that's not right, what kind of woman, mother, _person_ am I." She shook her head, "I wanted my job, more than I wanted you or our own babies… and yet, years later I've managed to loose them all."

"Case-"

"I held onto my job, and it cost me two children, one of which was the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. It cost me years of being with you as husband and wife and now… it's costing me Addison and I'm scared that in the long run, all of this, all of what I'm telling you is gonna make you take him and leave me."

"That's why you told me to go, to take him and go, isn't it… so you had control, so it wasn't me leaving you, it was you kicking us out."

She pressed her lips together and nodded as she cried, "I'm sorry… I don't know how to fix myself. I've tried for so long, and nothing is working. I _wanted_ Sara," she told him grabbing his forearm, "you have to believe me that when I held her in my arms, my heart broke in half and I cried for months… but at the same time, there was always this piece of me that… was relieved," she cried harder, "and I don't understand it. I don't understand how that can happen."

"Ca-"

"And when I passed the seventh month with Addy… I got so nervous, because I started to tell myself that I didn't want him, that it would be best if we didn't have him, that it would put stress on us, we hadn't been back together that long… I was so scared."

"Why didn't you tell me…. I thought you were happy."

"I was… but… I was scared too, that Addison would somehow know that I killed two babies because of my job and-"

"You didn't kill anyone!" he told her firmly, stopping her confession instantly. He pulled softly at her neck to bring her forehead against his and lock his eyes onto hers, "you didn't kill anyone," he whispered.

"Then," she sobbed and fell into his awaiting embrace, "why do I feel like I have?"

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_One day._

_Twenty-four hours._

_One-thousand-four-hundred and forty-minutes._

_Eighty-six-thousand-four-hundred seconds._

"Mrs. Stabler," a voice whispered softly and gently touched her shoulder, "Mrs. Stabler, wake up."

Olivia jolted awake, shook her head to get rid of the haze and looked up at a still blurry figure, "How is he?"

The nurse smiled softly and motioned to Elliot's hand as Olivia still continued to hold it, "You've been out for a few hours… you're friend said that your little one is asking for you, and that the babies are hungry. She thought you might like to feed them."

"Oh," Olivia shook her head, "Yeah… where's my husband's wedding ring?"

"More than likely the head nurse has it at the nurse's station, they probably removed it during surgery knowing his body would swell. If you remove it first, you don't have to cut it later."

"Can I have it, please?" she whispered and slowly took her fingers from Elliot's limp hand.

"Well… he's not able to wea-"

"I know he can't wear it… but I want it. May I have it back, please?"

"Absolutely, his wallet and whatever personal effects he had will also be with the nurse."

Olivia exhaled, stood to her feet and gently kissed Elliot's mouth before lowering her lips to his ear, "The doctors said you might be able to hear me," she whispered, "I'm gonna go feed the kids and spend some time with the boys and I'll be back… I love you," she said softly and kissed him again.

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"Mama!" Isaac grinned from the bed, "Lookit!" he giggled and pointed to his I.V. "Cool!"

"Too cool!" Olivia said as brightly as she could muster as she walked to the bed, "How's my monkey?"

"Sam no talkies me."

Olivia hugged Isaac as he stood on the mattress, she reached out to run her hand through Sam's hair and he flinched at her touch, "Just me," she whispered, "just me." She ran her hand gently over his hair and let her finger drift along his cheek, "Can I have a hug?"

He exhaled, rolled to his side, a small whimper escaping his lips before exhaling, "He hasn't' said a word," Alex whispered to her, "He's been awake for about an hour but… he's still not ready."

Isaac giggled and jumped on the bed, landing on his bottom and flopping down into the pillows. Isaac rolled to his side and cupped Sam's chin, "Bwrokin' Mama," he said and attempted to move Sam's mouth open. Sam rolled over to his back and took in a breath before he began to cry again.

"Hey," Olivia whispered and gently took his shaking hand, "hey. Want to sit on my lap?" He took in a ragged breath and let out a raspy, labored, scream to which she instantly pulled him up into her embrace, "You're okay now," she whispered, "I'm right here, and you're daddy is just on another floor-" He balled her clothes into his fist and sobbed harder, fighting for breath as he shook his head against her neck. "I love you, Samuel," she whispered and stroked his back, "I love you so much, and you were such a super hero… you saved Solomon and Hannah and Isaac and your Dad-" His shriek instantly startled Solomon in Alex's arms and he began to cry frantically for comfort to which Alex immediately offered.

"Do you just want to sit with me?" Olivia whispered into Sam's ear, "I'll hold you just like this for as long as you want me to, is that what you want?"

He nestled himself closer to her, rested his hand over her heart and continued to weep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"His stomach is growling, has he eaten?" Olivia asked as she lay a sleeping Sam back into the bed.

"He won't," Alex exhaled, "but, on the plus side, Isaac has wolfed down his oatmeal, played with his eggs and then ate Sam's oatmeal."

Olivia smirked and kissed Isaac's forehead as he fell asleep. She rubbed his full belly, "Between him and Solo, El and I will have to work overtime just to keep the refrigerator full."

Alex gently laid Solomon down and wrapped her arm around Olivia, "How was he?"

Olivia shook her head and began to cry, "He's… so swollen and bruised and… there's not a place on his body that isn't stuck with a needle or a rod or a patch or a-a-a whatever!" she cried. "He looks so fragile and… Alex, he didn't look like himself, not at all. They shaved his head and didn't even bother to shave it all, they just did this stupid straight line and he-he-he-"

"Shh," Alex whispered and pulled her tight, "he's gonna pull through this and he's gonna wake up and continue to be his same stubborn-Stabler self… he's gonna pull through, I promise you."

"You can't promise."

"Yes, I can."

"How?" Olivia pulled away and wiped at her wet cheek, "how can you promise me? You're not a doctor."

"No, but according to Sam, I know everything. I trust Sam and I trust my gut and right now my gut says Elliot's gonna pull through."

Olivia sniffled, "You know everything, huh?"

"According to Sam, you me and Casey are not only smart cookies but were the most beautiful people he's ever heard."

Olivia smiled softly, "Has anyone said anything about… the crime scene? About Tripod and Zeus?"

"Mac has Zeus," Alex hesitated and quickly picked up Hannah, "she was crying just before you came in."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at Alex, who kept her eyes looking down at Hannah, "Look at me."

"I think Hannah is hungry," Alex whispered and gently placed her in Olivia's arms, "did you want to try and breast feed?"

Olivia gripped Alex's forearm, "Look at me, Alex." Reluctantly, Alex raised her gaze to meet Olivia's, "Tripod? Sam's dog, who has him?"

Alex exhaled and shook her head, "I'm… I'm sorry, Olivia, Tripod didn't make it."

Olivia turned instantly to Sam as he slept, "He loves that dog," she whispered, "it's gonna crush him even more."

"I didn't tell him… I thought, I thought it might be gentler coming from his mom, but, if you can't do it, I can tell him… it's you're choice."

"I'll tell him," Olivia whispered softly, "I'll tell him when he's stronger. Right now, it'll kill him."

Alex exhaled, "Hannah hasn't eaten in awhile… want to try and feed her?" Alex coaxed.

Olivia shook her head, "I haven't eaten and I'm exhausted, I won't be able to breast feed."

"I'll go get you some milk that Mac brought along."

"No," Olivia exhaled and laid a fussy Hannah back down, "I will, I have to get Elliot's wedding ring from the nurse, then I'll be back."

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"Hey, you're late," a clean cut uniformed officer teased his relief.

"Not late," she smiled softly, "I just came from an eight hour shift at the other hospital."

"High profile people all over the city, huh?" he chuckled as they leaned against the counter at the nurses station.

"Wasn't guardin' the Vic," she said taking a sip of her coffee, "I was guardin' the doer… real sick S.O.B if you ask me… as a matter of fact, I think that the people you're guardin' are the vics, right?"

"Don't know… I haven't actually seen them… just know that we're supposed to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity on this floor, they've got more uniforms on the floor where the lieutenant is… the perp did him up real good. Doc's think he's not gonna make it."

Olivia, who stayed kneeling by the small refrigerator Elliot's wedding ring now hanging from her gold chain, a small liner of milk in her hand, she cringed. Elliot was going to make it. He had to make it. These were just uniformed officers, not doctors. What did they know? Olivia's eyes suddenly went dark and she replaced the milk into the small bag and closed the door.

They knew one very important thing.

The Perp.

"Hey," Olivia smiled, her eyes glancing over the business cards on the desk as she stood, she extended her hand, "I'm Trisha, the head nurse."

"Hi," The male officer smiled, "I'm Chris, this is Ruthanne… I didn't see you there."

"Just clocked in," Olivia smiled, "haven't even changed yet but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation… real sick S.O.B, huh?"

"Yeah," Ruthanne exhaled, "Beat the poor guy to a bloody pulp."

Olivia bit at the inside of her cheek to keep herself in check, "I hear he tried to do a cop?"

"Yeah, but, uh," Chris exhaled when Ruthanne nudged him hard into his side. "We really shouldn't be discussing this with you. We can get in a lot of trouble."

"Hey," Ruthanne smiled, "before you leave, I'm gonna go get another coffee and a newspaper, that okay?"

Chris smiled at Olivia, "Sure… I'll entertain Trisha."

"Entertain?" Olivia arched her brow, "I don't know… she seems to have you by the balls… won't even let you talk about the stuff you want to talk about," Olivia smiled. A moments guilt for flirting with this piece of crap cop while Elliot fought for his life, but, revenge would be sweet and if she had to bat her chocolate browns and flash a smile to get the information she needed, Elliot would understand. If he came back to her, anyway.

"Ah, Ruthanne is just anal retentive, you know…. Woman cop."

"Oh," Olivia smirked, "I know. Who is this guy anyway? Just some random freak?"

"No, no not random, apparently he had a thing for this guy's wife and wanted to take everything she loved so that she could live without them… that's some pretty messed up stuff if you ask me."

Olivia shook her head, "Yeah… messed up. It's ashamed he's at Community Hospital, they've got a good staff there, he'll survive."

"Community?" He shook his head, "No, he's at uh…Sinai."

Olivia grinned, "Oh… ICU? They've got a good ICU."

"No," he smiled and leaned further over the counter. She wanted to vomit as his hand rested near hers, a gentle touch. "Apparently, he's doing just fine hanging out in a regular hospital room… I wish it was life threatening… he's a sick one."

"Yeah," Olivia agreed softly and smiled, "Well, I better start my rounds, I have a patient I've been wanting to see for awhile now.

"Um, wait!" He smiled when she reluctantly turned around, "Will you-would you like to grab coffee sometime?"

Olivia offered a fake grin, "Sure," she smiled and reached down on the nurses desk, retrieved the head nurses business card and handed it to him, "Give me a call when you're free."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hannah began to fuss as the minutes passed by, five turning into ten and ten into a half an hour which led to an hour. Alex exhaled bouncing lightly on her feet to calm the fussy baby but when that attempt failed and her diaper was checked and she eventually gave up sucking on Alex's pinky, Alex became concerned and hoped that maybe, Olivia had simply lost her bearings and went back to visit Elliot. However, when a nurse came into the room and told her that she wasn't with her husband. Alex began to panic.

"She's not?"

"No, I called up to the ICU and she hasn't returned. Is there a problem?"

"I don't know," Alex muttered, "Uh… can you have someone come in and feed her?"

"Absolutely," the nurse smiled, "In fact, if you'll hand her to me I'll go and prepare a bottle for her, there is a note on the fridge that the breast milk belongs to these little ones, right?"

"Yes… I'll be right back," Alex told her and quickly walked passed her and out of the room. She looked down the hall, right then left and didn't see her. She moved right and stopped at two chatting officers, "Excuse me… have you seen the woman from that room?" she asked, pointing behind her.

"I'm sorry?" Ruthanne said folding the newspaper, "Who would that be?"

Alex furrowed her brow, "Who would that be?" She asked incredulously, "How about the woman you're supposed to be keeping an eye out for!"

"I'm sorry," Chris interrupted, "we haven't actually met her… so were not exactly sure who you were talking about."

Alex shook her head in anger and complete dissatisfaction and stopped as she looked down at the folded paper, the headline glaring at her, "MAMA COP'S CUBS BACK IN HOSPITAL. PAPA COP FIGHTS FOR LIFE."

Alex snatched the paper from the counter and unfolded it turning sharply to the cops, "You've been sitting here reading the damn article!" she snapped and pointed to a small picture of Olivia's academy picture, "Her! Have you seen her!" she yelled.

Chris took the paper and groaned, "That was the nurse."

"Nurse?" Alex asked, "What are you talking about? She's a cop!"

Chris groaned again and shook his head, "She played me."

"For what?" Ruthanne asked.

"I… told her what hospital the perp was in."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Getting past the nurses station, and the cops wasn't exactly the hardest thing Olivia had pulled off. She'd waited until the coast was clear at the nurse's station, grabbed an official looking white coat from the back of a chair and looked quickly through the nurses clip board until her finger stopped on what she was looking for. She buried her face in a file she snagged from the desk and simply walked past the uniformed officers.

She would kill him.

Right now.

Without hesitation.

Olivia felt the cool metal of the door handle, pushed down and slipped into the room, gently closing the door behind her. She stopped, took a long slow breath, feeling her lungs swell. She wondered, momentarily, as she let the breath out in an even longer, controlled exhalation, if this was what John Munch went through when he cornered Chief Serna in his home.

She smirked to herself. Chief Serna, Cragen had told her, the morning that all of this happened, the morning someone pulled the carpet our from under her and Elliot, that the allegations of murder for higher against Chief Serna had been proven accurate. Serna had, in fact, highered someone to kill Dr. Savhey in order to cover up Isaac's disappearance. She was going to tell Elliot. She'd wanted to be the one to tell him. She'd felt an overwhelming urge to tell him while they were in the hallway of the precinct, but the smile he'd given her after she'd told him Carp had walked in on them, made her hold off, made her want to wait until she'd gotten home.

She wished she would have told him in the hallway of the precinct.

She decided, as she walked to Richard White's bed, that it was unfair that he looked to be in such good condition. It was unfair that this man lay in his bed, warmed with blankets while her husband lay cold with only the comfort of a towel. She took a few more feet, stopped at the foot of his bed. It was unfair that he lay here, simply asleep while Elliot laid unconscious, his brain swollen, his face badly broken. His legs ruined.

She stared at Richard White as he slept. The monitor keeping track of his heart rate. His shoulder bandaged and held tight to his chest. He remaining arm handcuffed to the bed's rail. Slowly, she reached her hand out to his feet, crumbled the fabric of the blanket in her hand. She felt her heart race as she pulled the blanket down slowly, smoothly.

Small holes here and there on his chest, his flabby abdomen. Zeus' bite marks. She pulled the blanket lower her morbid, angry curiosity overriding any other though process she could have to make herself stop. He stirred slightly and turned his head into the pillow a large bruise covering his atoms apple.

She nodded to herself, made a note to tell Sam he'd apparently hit his target well. She let the blanket bunch at his legs that were bandaged. Tripod. While she couldn't see the condition of his arm in the sling, she did see that his other forearm was stitched with several sutures, his arm slightly swollen, but in her mind not swollen enough.

Not as swollen as Elliot.

She walked around to the side of his bed and without concern for the patient, took the 'nurse's call button' and cast it to the side letting it hang innocently over the side of the bed. She turned to his I.V. drip and slowly pushed the button, decreasing the amount of pain killers that were being delivered.

After several minutes he still hadn't woken up and she was growing irritated with his ability to be so well rested when her babies were crying for food, crying to be held by Elliot. The fact that this man would make a full recovery that he wouldn't struggle to live, that he wouldn't struggle to walk or do everyday mundane things, that he would one day make love to someone without any problems, nurtured her fury.

He stirred, his eyes opening from drug induced sleep, "N-nurse?" he groaned.

"Not exactly," Olivia glared at him and wrapped her finger tips around his calf, digging into Tripod's bite mark that was now stitched. She squeezed her hand around him as tightly as she could until he cried out, his eyes now wide and staring.

"O-Olivia?" he stammered.

She released her hold only slightly, "Good morning, star shine," she said menacingly, "the earth says hello," she smiled and dug into his wound again. He arched his body and groaned until she released and grabbed a chair, sliding it closer to the bed, "I had a dream once," she said coolly, "want to hear?"

"The nurse will make her rounds… you'll be fired," he panted and tried desperately to sit up but his bandaged and handcuffed arms offered him nothing to move with.

"Okay," she shrugged and slowly lowered herself into the chair, "you twisted my arm… I had this dream that one of my very good friends, took a gun," she started to explain as she locked eyes with him, "and walked into an interrogation room and shot Nick Ganzner."

White scowled at her, "I'm not Nick."

"Nope," she smiled as her eyes darkened with hate, "you're not… but I got to tell you Richard, it gave me a hell of an idea."

He swallowed hard, his eyes widening, "W-what do you want."

She stood, walked to him and lowered her lips to his ear, "I want to tell you my dream, Richard."

He fumbled, reaching across his body for the call button, the cuffs stopping him, "Don't strain your self," she advised him as she moved his rolling tray to the foot of his bed. "You won't reach it. I've made sure of it."

He labored for breath, "What the hell do you want, Detective Benson?"

She grinned and took her jacket off letting it fall to the chair behind her, "I told you… I want to tell you my dream."

"I don't want to hear your dream."

"Let's see," she looked up slightly at the corner of the ceiling, as she pushed the sleeves of her sweater up. "Where to start?" Her brows arched, "Right," she nodded, "the gun. Now, Paul," she began to explain her dream as she rested her palms on the rolling tray, "he's the man I dreamed killed Nick."

"That means what to me?" He growled.

"Shh," she held her finger to her nose, "Just listen, and you'll know… Paul had pulled the gun from a uniformed officer's duty belt, that's ballzy don't you think?"

"I think," he sneered, "I'd of loved to see you at home, watching your son cry for his daddy like a pussy little girl."

Unshaken, she smirked in distaste and shrugged her shoulders, "Well, while Paul got his gun from an officer… I'm gonna have to change the story up a little."

"Yeah," he arched his brow, "why's that?"

"Because," she said darkly and withdrew a .9mm berretta from behind her, "I got my gun from my glove compartment."

He smirked and nodded his head to her shaking hand, "Looks like you've still got those nerves."

Gently, she placed the weapon down on the tray, "It's a little different, I have to admit."

"What is?" he asked, his curiosity about her demeanor getting the best of him.

"It's different… killing a man in self defense."

"As opposed too?"

She chuckled and tilted her head, "As opposed to killing a man as he lay handcuffed to his hospital bed."

"You don't have the guts to kill me."

Her grin spread across her face slowly, smoothly, "We'll see… Where was I?"

"You were about to leave."

"No. No, in fact," she picked up the gun, "I was just getting started… let's see, ah yeah, the dream," she smiled. "In the dream, Paul did the craziest thing… he sort of started to interrogate Nick as he took his gun apart," she informed him and pushed the magazine release button, letting the full clip fall into her left palm, "It was sort of weird for me to dream something like that, you know? He's sort of a science nerd… not sure if he's ever even been around guns before."

"Is this your tactic?" Richard asked, trying to sound unafraid, but the fear and confusion in his eyes and voice as she placed the gun down onto the tray and began to slowly empty the clip bullet by bullet, told Olivia otherwise. "Are you trying to intimidate me by playing with your little gun?"

She exhaled through her nose, the corner of her mouth twitching in an angry smile, "No." she told him. "No, I'm not going to intimidate you… I'm going to kill you. I'm going to place one of these bullets," she said running her fingertip over the tight line she'd formed, "in this gun. Then I'm going to pull the slide back and I'm going to hold it to your head and ask you a simple question."

"And if I don't answer it?"

"I'm going to pull the trigger."

He laughed, tossing his head back, "Olivia, you don't have the ovicular fortitude to shoot me in cold blood."

"No," she agreed, "but I do have a rapists blood running through me… that's gotta give me some type of brownie points with evil, right? And let's not forget, my mother demonstrated violence to me on a regular basis… I've got her blood running through me. That's a whole lot of brownie points Richard, and the question you've got to ask yourself-"

"Is what?" he snapped suddenly, "Huh? What the hell do I have to ask myself you dumb whore."

She smiled, placed one bullet back into the magazine, "The question you've got to ask yourself, Richard," she began again and inserted the clip into the gun, a firm tap with her palm, "is, do you like brownies?"

The anger at being mocked, flashed in his eyes and he went to move quickly, she reached to the side, shoved the barrel of her weapon into the first available would she located and put as much pressure as possible until he screamed for her to let up, "P-please!"

"Did my husband beg you?" she hissed as she withdrew the weapon and returned to her position, "Hmm? Did he?"

"He," Richard panted, "Begged me for his life at first, begged like a bitch." Richard smiled, "Sort of how I imagine you would beg me to screw you senseless," he said and puckered his lips, smacking them and effectively kissing the air at her.

"You want me to kiss you, Richard?" she asked with raised brows.

He smirked, "Hot stuff, I want you to drag that beautiful body over her and ride me like I was the pony your daddy just bought you."

She nodded, walked along the side of the bed and slowly, licked her lips and leaned over his body, "Then kiss me Richard," she whispered, "Kiss me. It'll be the last thing you do before I shoot you, but… what a way to go, right?"

He stared up at her, not sure if this was a ruse, but just the same he raised his head to her and she watched as his lips sought after hers and just before contact was made, she thrust her fingertips into the bullet wound of his shoulder, pressing through the gauze as he gasped in air and cried out. The once white gauze, now stained red with his blood, "Bitch!"

She grabbed his face forcefully with one hand, "Did you really think I'd let you kiss me?" she growled, pulled her head back and slammed it forward into his already broken nose. She straightened herself, momentarily dazed from the impact but quickly recovering as she ran her hand through her hair dropping it to her side and waiting until his pain past and he looked at her again before she chambered her right hand and offered all of her strength into one furious backhand. He groaned and whimpered at the pain he felt and she merely smiled at her feeling of exhilaration. "You know what they say Richard," she told him, walking back to her weapon, and lifting it up, "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned."

He groaned, made an effort to move his hand to wipe the blood from his face but the handcuffs stopped him, "You'll loose your job for this… who's gonna feed those brat kids of yours when your husband is laid up and you've got no money coming in, huh?"

She pulled the slide of the weapon back with her left hand and leveled it to his face, "I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there."

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"Hey," Chloe smiled, "wake up… you'll be late for work."

"It's just Melinda," he grumbled, "let me sleep."

"Donovan," Chloe chuckled, "you need to get up."

"Come on Chloe," he groaned, "we both know that I'm that brains in that outfit… she can wait."

"The brains!" Chloe tossed her head back and laughed, "I bet you don't say that around her."

He chuckled, opened one eye and smiled, "'Cause I'm smart enough not to."

She laughed again and sat up, pulling all of the covers off of the bed, "Get up!"

"Chloe!" he yelled and huddled his body into a ball, "it's cold."

"It's gonna get colder if I dump a cup of water on you… Get. Up. Come on I've got the paper out on the table and your breakfast is served."

He grinned, "Just so long as you know whose king."

She arched her brow and smiled, lowering her self to him and kissing his mouth softly, "We all know it's the queen that holds the power… get up."

"Touché," he grinned and slowly rolled out of the bed, following her into the kitchen and flopping himself into a chair. "Want to go on a date with me tonight?" he grinned as she poured orange juice for him.

"Donovan, we went out last night, and I don't want your mom to think I see her as my personal babysitter."

He chuckled, "She loves kids, believe me… she wants him there. Go out with me." He told her again as he began to unfold the paper.

"Where?"

"Where do you want to-" he stopped and stared at the news paper, "Oh. No."

She furrowed her brows as she threw her hair into a pony tail, "What?"

He stared up at her and turned the paper so she could see, her mouth fail agape, "What hospital?" she asked quickly, and immediately went to wake Matthew from the couch, talking over her shoulder, "What hospital? We've got to get there."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Paul!" Casey yelled, out of breath as soon as she hit the door to their home, "Paul! Wake up!" she yelled.

He groaned from the comfort of his bed and barely sat himself up as he swung his feet to touch the floor, his hair in disarray when he heard her start down the hall. They'd talked for hours on end last night and he's not so sure it was good, but it wasn't bad either, "Paul!" she yelled from the door and held up a wadded piece of newspaper, "What the hell?" she snapped.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "What?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"What?" she asked incredulously and raised the wrinkled mess to him, "This!" she said pointing to the article on Olivia and Elliot, "Why didn't you say something!"

"Oh, Casey," he whispered as he stood, "come here. Calm –"

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down," she hissed and immediately cast off her sweaty top, "I was running today and passed a man on a bench reading it!"

"Casey-"

"Why didn't you tell me!" she yelled quickly casting off her sports bra and charging her way into the bathroom, turning on the water to the shower.

"Casey, I don't think you cou-"

She toed off her shoes and slid out of her pants, "You don't think what?" she barked and quickly stepped into the shower yelping at the cold temperature before adjusting the water. She continued on her rant, continued to express her anger as she quickly washed her hair, only to feel a cool draft and then his arms around her waist, "Paul-"

"Shh," he whispered and held her tightly, "I wanted to tell you, I didn't want you to find out through the paper, I'm sorry."

She hanged her head forward, her hands covering his at her abdomen, "Have you talked to them?"

"No… I've kept in contact with Alex though, although I've been trying to call her right now and she isn't answering."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked gently and turned in his embrace, "They're my friends, I would have wanted to know."

He ran his hand over her wet locks, "Casey… honey, you tried to kill yourself four days ago… I'd just gotten you home from the hospital… please, understand that I wasn't keeping it from you on purpose… I just… I didn't know if you'd be ready for it."

She exhaled, stepped into him and rested her head on his shoulder as the water warmed them both, "I didn't… I didn't mean to yell, it just caught me off guard, I'm sorry."

He smiled against her cheek, "It's okay… I love you Casey and I wanted what was best and I just didn't know if you were strong enough to hear it… to add something more to your plate."

She wrapped her arms around his waist, "I… can I be honest with you?"

"Yes. I want you to be."

"I'm scared that I'm not gonna be strong enough for them… that I'll fail them."

"Right now, Casey… it's not about them. Not yet. We've got to get you strong, and then you can be there for them, alright?"

"Paul?"

"Yeah?" he whispered running circles along her slick back.

"Will you… will you make love to me?"

He rested his forehead against hers, "When Vivian went to the hospital to talk with you and the doctors… she also talked to me, you know she wants us to hold off for awhile… talk through this, pull through it together."

She nodded her head against his, "I know… I wasn't asking for it now… I just, well, I wanted to know if you'd make love to me… ever again."

He tipped her chin up to him, "Why wouldn't I?" In spite of the water that cascaded down her face, he could tell from her red eyes and the pooling that she was crying, "Why wouldn't I make love to you? Hmm?" he asked gently and pulled her closer to him, "I want you, my body wants you, but… we need to listen to Vivian."

She nodded and looked away.

"Case?" He crooked a finger under her chin and turned her face back to him, "What?" Her chin quivered and she lowered her gaze shaking her head. "Casey, tell me."

"You… you haven't even… never mind." She shook her head and turned, "It's getting cold," she said and quickly stepped out of the shower.

He furrowed his brows and immediately followed pulling her back to him, "Casey… what is it?" he asked, "Tell me," he said in a whispered plea.

"I don't think… I don't feel like… you want me anymore."

His mouth fell open, "What? That's not true Casey. It's not. Why would you feel that way?"

She shook her head, "Forget it."

"Casey," he said firmly and pinned his naked body against hers, his hands over her shoulders, palms against the wall, "tell me, please?"

"You haven't even… I mean, other than a peck on the cheek, you haven't even attempted to…even kiss me."

He cupped her face gently, "I want you so bad that… if I kiss you, the way I want to, I'm going to want to fall into our bed with you and show you how much I've wanted you the past weeks."

She rested her hands on his hips, "Then… do it. Please?"

He smiled softly, "Let's not rush this… lets work it through, make you solid, make us solid again."

She pressed her lips tight as a tear fell from her eye. He caught it on the tip of his thumb and kissed her forehead softly; her temple as he cupped her cheek ran his thumb over her bottom lip and gently sipped from it. He stepped in closer so their hips meshed with one another and she gasped feeling him pressed into her. Her lips parted and he slowly slid his tongue into her mouth, his hand slipping from her cheek to the base of her head.

Casey slipped her hands from his waist, up his torso and wrapped her arms around his neck, moaning when the tip of his tongue stroked the top of her mouth and teasingly made its exit, "I love you," he whispered, "do you believe me?"

She closed her eyes, swallowed and shook her head, "Yes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam sat up in the bed a moan his only offering as he ran his hand through his hair. His nostrils flared trying to pick up on anyone that might be in the room with him and to his surprise there was no one. He ran gentle fingers over each of his brother's eyes, moving to Hannah and, once he was satisfied all were asleep he laid back down, rolling to is side and clutching his nauseous belly.

Sam wept, alone, afraid and sick. He wept bitterly and laboriously until he forced himself to sit back up, a cough for air before vomiting on himself.

He wanted his mother.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Richard White visibly shook as he tried to shield himself with his cuffed hand, "C-come on, now Olivia," he said as she continued to level her weapon at him, "you pull the trigger and everyone will hear, you'll loose your job and go to prison and believe me when I tell you I know what goes on in there… they'll kill you."

Olivia adjusted her grip on the weapon, "I'll manage."

"Just," he grew more panicked as she took a few steps toward him, "Just tell me what you want!"

She narrowed her eyes and growled through clenched teeth, "I want to know why you came after my family! They're innocent, why didn't you come for me!"

He finally lowered his hand once she lowered the gun, "Where's the fun in killing you?" he smirked, "seemed more enjoyable to let you live and carry on through life knowing that it was your fault your family died."

"It's not my fault and they are alive! You messed up Richard, each and everyone of them is alive and doing just fine!" she snapped.

"Mmm, Elliot's gonna die," he smiled, "how do you feel about that?"

She smiled, walked closer to him and shoved the barrel of the weapon into his groin. He moaned as she lowered her face only inches from his, "Why don't you tell me how you feel about getting your balls shot off before I kill you," she whispered as cool as the morning breeze.

He moaned, began to call for a nurse to which Olivia simply covered his mouth with her left hand and brought the barrel of the berretta to rest against his forehead, "I advise you to shut your trap." His eyed widened in fear but his jaw relaxed and his mouth quickly quieted.

She stepped back to her original position behind the rolling tray and smiled, "Let the game begin, Richard."

He moaned, his hips producing an involuntary flinch of pain, "I've got nothing to say to you," he grimaced.

"Sure you do, Richard," she arched her brows, anger flashing across her features, "you've had years in the pen to think about me… I know you've got something to say. You've got one question to answer, that's all I need, before I kill you."

"What!" he snarled, lifting his head only to have it slam in pain back onto the pillow, "p-please," he whispered, "what?"

"Please?" she tilted her head, "Please, what?"

He swallowed hard, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, "P-please, s-stop."

"Please. Stop," she repeated. "Did my son ask you to stop, Richard?" she suddenly barked back, "Did he! Did he beg you not to hurt his father!"

"He," Richard moaned from the old pain that had already settled in his body and the new pain Olivia was inflicting. He suddenly smirked, "Mmm, the little prick called for you. Screamed and moaned like a little girl loosing her virginity."

She returned, quickly, to his bed side and yanked the pillow out from under his head allowing his head to bounce on the mattress, "Answer my question!"

"What!" he gasped, wincing at the pain shooting through his temple and broken nose.

"Why my family?"

"Well," he licked at the blood from his nose, "I originally wanted to kill them all, in front of you… but not before I screwed you until you split in half… in front of your husband," he chuckled, "Mmm, had to improvise though… you weren't at home while they were being terrorized were you? No… you let that job drive you, didn't you?"

"Did you know Nick Ganzner?" she asked in a whisper as she continued to point the gun at him, "Did you?"

"Mmm, Nick Ganzner… doesn't really ring a bell," he smiled.

She nodded, her lips tightening, "Maybe this will," she growled and shoved the pillow into his face, holding it with her body weight and pressing the barrel of the gun against its softness. "Feel that Richard?" she hissed as he began to struggle. "Do you? That's my gun, that's what's gonna kill you. The bullet is going to rip through this pillow and it to that fat, disgusting skull of yours and send you on your way to hell!"

He reached for anything he could and came to her shirt hem, balling it into his fist as his cries for help were muffled, his air stolen from him for several seconds longer until Olivia finally let the pillow up and shoved the gun between his eyes, "You asked me if I had nerves, you're gonna find out. Answer my question. Do you know Nick Ganzner?"

He gasped for air, took in a deep breath, "Y-yes. Yes we shared a room in the jail hospital… kind of a sicko, if you ask me."

She arched her brow, "Birds of a feather, Richard."

"Mmmm, maybe," he nodded.

"What's the relation to Nick?" she asked, taking a seat for the first time.

"I told you… we met in prison."

"And I'm sure it was a whirlwind romance," she nodded and stood, retrieving her jacket from the chair, "I have to tell you Richard, you keep screwing with me, and it's just making me more and more furious," she said pulling a short black object from her jacket and casting the fabric back to the chair. She held it up to him and smiled, "Silencer… don't want anyone to hear the gun shot, know what I mean? Got to have time to get out of here," she explained as if she were instructing a class rather than preparing to murder someone in cold blood.

His eyes grew wide as he began to move in the bed, "You're crazy!"

"No," she smiled and slowly began to tighten the silencer onto the weapon, "actually, I've thought this through… although, I always thought it would be Nick I was doing this to… but hey, I'll throw in an extra trigger pull in memory of him, huh?" she smiled and continued to tightened the barrel slowly, "You can always answer my question and pray I don't shoot you."

"You could always wrap those pout lips over my cock… you're gonna shoot me with your service weapon, Olivia? Come on… think this th-"

"Were you not listening to me, Richard?" she asked. "I have thought this through. Recently, a friend of mine tried to commit suicide… I'd found the gun in her dresser drawer… badly forged papers. I even did the right thing and took the gun down to the precinct, but you know what? It was the damndest thing… that very same gun shop is four blocks from here. Had to pass it on my way over, and I got an idea… only cost me a grand extra to walk out of there with this… its unregistered, which means all I have to do, is play my cards right on my exit and I'm home free," she smiled. "What's it gonna be Richard, are you gonna answer my questions or not?"

His nostrils flared, his jaw flexed, "The guy didn't know how to keep his mouth shut, even when it was wired shut to let his jaw heal," he began, keeping his stare at her weapon, "he kept spouting this and that about some dumb woman cop that put him away and broke his jaw… wouldn't give him a deal, that kind of crap."

"And?"

He shrugged, "I had time to kill, I'd just had this root canal work done. It caught my interest."

"What happened?" she asked, "Tell me or I swear on everything holy I'll pull this trigger and walk out of here without a second thought."

"He told me about your brother and father… I find that interesting don't you?" he smiled, "The product of rape… only to be raped, by a brother you never knew about. God must really hate you, Olivia."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "What about Oliver and Victor? What about them?"

He smiled, "They're the ones that kept you under surveillance. Nick's the one that bought the equipment with your badge number… do the math, Olivia."

She re-gripped the gun, her palms were starting to sweat, "Tell. Me."

He rolled his eyes, "Nick told me he kept copies of some of the really nice stuff they'd taped. He was a ballzy little prick I got to hand it to him. Actually had the guts to black mail Victor and Oliver. Told them if he bought the equipment… he got dibs on copies of the tapes. From what I understand, you're pretty hot in the sac. You're a pretty good lay. I hear you've got this moan that will make any man hard as a rock… let me hear it, huh?"

"What else? Tell me. Now!"

"I pumped him for information, surely there had to be some type of leverage I could get… some piece of information, I could use to get my self out of prison when the timing was right."

"And what did he tell you?"

Richard smiled, "Mmm, his cellie was the man responsible for killing Dr. Savhey… kept going on and on about Chief Serna giving him money to do it. I suppose he pumped Nick with all the right information… Nick was too stupid to use it. So I did… when the timing was right, of course."

"And when was the timing right, Richard?" she whispered, her hand starting to shake.

"When you lest expected it. When your world had righted its self. When you'd gotten that bratty little boy of yours back. When you had two more demon spawn… when your guard was down. When you were thinking like a mom instead of a cop. When you thought it was all over with Nicks death… by the way, what a pussy way to go, I mean, if your gonna kill yourself, at least do it yourself, right?"

Her eyes narrowed at him. He was coaxing her to kill him. She didn't care. She would.

"Nick gave you the information about Dr. Savhey, and you passed it to the DA after nick killed himself so you could come after me?"

He smiled, "Mmm, Bingo."

"Just one problem with your story Richard."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Nick was out of jail when Dr. Savhey was murdered… how'd he tell you?"

He smiled, "Sorry, that's my own little secret."

She nodded, "How does it feel to know that you're going to die today?"

His nostrils flared, "How does it feel to know that if you would have been home, your husband wouldn't have crawled around on his belly, moaning and screaming for you. Crying." Richard laughed, "A great big strong man like him crying for his wife to save me… crying for his little blind son to save him. That's too fantastic… makes me hard just thinking about it."

Olivia slowly lowered the weapon to her side and stared at him, "You came after my family for the sole purpose of getting inside of my head, and staying there for the rest of my life."

He smirked, "Mmm, I'll always be in your head, and your little blind boys head and Elliot's head, if he doesn't leave you to be a widow. I'll be in you're nightmares; I'll be the reason why the hair on the back of your neck stands up. I'll be the reason your husband never makes love to you again. I'll be the reason why you're dead even though you breath. I'll be the reason. The only reason."

She stared at him, blinked slowly and raised her weapon to his face, "You won't be in my head anymore," she said softly, and pulled the trigger.


	47. Chapter 47 Aftermath Redone

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 47: Aftermath

A/N: Just a little forewarning, I'm not an attorney. I'm not from New York. This was taken down and minor things were changed before reposting. Thanks guys.

Alex leaned back in the chair of the visiting area. No matter what had happened in the past, she would have never in a million years imagined the phone call she got from a frantic Carp only hours ago.

She exhaled, ran her hand through her hair. She was so exhausted. She was hungry and couldn't keep anything down and she hadn't been able to rest in Robert's arms in what seemed to be too long. She felt, almost in her element, but oddly out of it as well, sitting in the all too familiar room, waiting for some news, any news as to what was happening. Normally, she would have sat down and the meeting would have proceeded, but, as she stared up at the caged clock, she couldn't help but feel that something was wrong, more so than why she was already here. Waiting.

It was the clink of the metal door that caused her to immediately stand and have her heart sink as a corrections officer walked Olivia into the dank room. Her head bowed, her hands and feet shackled as if she were a cold blooded murder instead of a wounded mother and wife.

"Remove the cuffs." Alex ordered, standing in the same spot despite wanting to wrap her arms around Olivia and comfort her in any way possible. The only thing worse than being in jail, was being a cop in jail.

The officer un-cuffed Olivia immediately and Alex watched as she rubbed her wrists and walked silently to an empty chair. A limp in her walk. The officer left and Alex quickly pulled a chair up to Olivia, surprised when she flinched and raised her hands in protection.

"Olivia?" Alex said softly, "Olivia… it's just me. Do you have any idea what you've done?" she whispered and gasped when Olivia slowly looked up, her lip split, her brow bruised and cut open. Her nose stuffed with tissue to keep the bleeding and swelling at bay. A boot's print on her cheek. Alex didn't know whose face looked worse, Olivia's or Elliot's. "Oh, no. Olivia… what happened?" Alex asked, reaching out and holding her chin delicately, "Who did this to you?"

"Don't know," Olivia whispered, and pulled her chin back, "it could have been any of them… I'm not sure."

"Any of who?" Alex furrowed her brow.

Olivia painfully adjusted herself in her seat, "They, uh… put me in the general population, there was no room in protective custody. Five on one… not really fair, but uh, hey, you should see the one girl, right?" she chuckled dully and continued to stare at the table top.

Alex's brows shot up to her hairline, "They're supposed to put you in pro-"

"It's done," Olivia whispered, "they attacked me and it's done. Get me out of here, before they kill me, Alex."

Alex took a deep breath and exhaled, "Olivia, I don't think you realize what you've done."

"He's still alive isn't he?" she snapped, "That sonovabitch is still alive and I'm sitting in here while my husband has some tube shoved down his throat so his body can breath! My children are… are… Alex, where are my babies?" she asked suddenly panicked.

"Relax… Carp posted your bail. The kids are still in the hospital but since Casey and Paul are listed on their medical records, Paul gave the go ahead to release them today… they'd swung by the hospital just as I put two and two together… Olivia, what were you thinking?"

Olivia stared at Alex, "I was thinking… I wanted to kill him."

"You sure about that?" Alex arched a brow, "I know you, Olivia. If you'd wanted to kill him… you wouldn't have let him get to the nurses call button on the railing of the bed."

"I didn't know it was there," she whispered and looked away. "I thought the only one that was there was the one I cast to the side."

"Then why was a perfect index print lifted? _Your_ print to be exact." Alex asked softly, "You pushed that button, Olivia. Why? Why did you push it if you wanted to kill him?"

Olivia took controlled breaths through her mouth, unable to get air through her swollen nose, "I'm not a killer, Alex," she whispered. "I'm not. I thought I could do it, but, I don't know," she shook her head, "I… I'd pushed it after he asked to kiss me… I needed an out. I needed someone to get me out of there because I couldn't walk away. Not after seeing Elliot. I couldn't walk out of there on my own."

"You're lucky the nurse came in when she did… she said you had a gun."

Olivia pressed her lips together as her tears flowed, "He needs to die for what he did."

"Olivia," Alex exhaled, "you have four beautiful children that are waiting for you right now. Sam is frantic, he's not eating. No one can touch him and all he's doing is crying in the hospital. Isaac is so sad because Sam won't talk to him, and Solomon and Hannah want you so badly. They're hungry and they're crying for you. Hannah is giving the nurses a hell of a time with the bottle and even Solomon seems to have gone on a hunger strike."

"I miss them so much," Olivia sobbed, her shoulders crumbling as she wept into her hands, "I miss them and I miss Elliot and this whole thing is such a mess, Alex."

"What would have happened if they'd brought you up on attempted murder charges?"

Olivia looked up sharply, "What? Isn't that what I'm charged with?"

Alex furrowed her brow, "Olivia, I was so far away from here that I sent one of my friends, Calvin Dolores, to handle you're arraignment. Olivia… weren't you in the arraignment?"

Olivia ran the tip of her tongue along the split of her lip and shook her head, "I don't know… I'm sort of… spaced out, Alex. Was it today? It feels like it was so long ago. I want to go home, to my kids. I want to see Elliot. Has he woken up yet?"

"No, I'm sorry."

Olivia nodded softly and leaned back in her chair, "You said Casey and Paul will take the kids? She doing okay?"

"Paul say's it's minute by minute… I've arranged for Robert to pick the kids up from Casey's… I don't think it's good for her recovery to have the stress that four kids can bring. Donovan and Chloe swung by the hospital, dropped off a stuffed animal and tootsie pops for Sam. He hasn't touched them. You and the kids can stay with Robert and me until we're done at your house."

"Who's we're?"

"As soon as CSU left, Robert and a couple of his friends and the guys have been cleaning around the clock. It'll be ready when you're ready. If you're not ready, it's not a big deal, we'll get things figured out," she assured her.

"I'm sorry," Olivia whispered, "I never… I didn't want this to happen. What was I charged with? I don't really remember. I sort of remember the officer taking me to the court room, but other than that… it's blank."

"Assault." Alex exhaled.

"Assault?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "how is that possible? I had a gun; I pulled the trigger for crying out loud."

Alex leaned back in her chair, and laced her fingers together, "You have no idea what you mean to the people who love you, do you?"

"W-what?"

"You _know_ there was a gun. I_ believe_ that there was a gun. The nurse _thinks_ there was a gun. White_ saw_ that there was a gun. Yet, in all the reports that have been written and filed, there's no mention of a gun."

"Reports? Who?"

Alex sat up straight, "I called Carp and Cragen as soon as I figured out you were on your way over there. Cragen showed up right after the security guard took you down, Mac and Fin followed only one or two minutes later… they were technically the first officers on the scene, so their statements hold a lot of water… none of which said you were in possession of a weapon. Funny thing was, the security guard went along with it… imagine that," Alex exhaled, "A captain of an elite squad, two well respected detectives, one rookie, and a security guard… all protecting you."

"CSU would have found the weapon… I'm not sure what happened when the security guard rushed me."

"Cragen found it… it slid just under the bed. Just far enough to be out of everyone's site and for the security guard to think that his mind was playing tricks on him. Of course, I'm sure Mac and Fin were helping him decide exactly what he saw," Alex said with a raised brow.

"I pulled the trigger," Olivia whispered and shook her head, "I pulled the trigger and nothing happened."

"Cragen thinks that when you were attaching the silencer you some how slipped the safety… which is good news for you. You won't be spending the rest of your life in jail, getting the crap beat out of you. You'll see your kids again and you'll be there when Elliot wakes up."

"Alex-"

"I don't want to hear anything else, Olivia," she said sternly. "I'm acting as a member of your legal team because you're my friend and I know that you're gonna need all the help you can get. You're still looking at doing time, Olivia. Maybe not years, but they can still make your life miserable. They can still make it so your not there when Solomon and Hannah turn one… think about that." Alex scolded her, "This life, it's not about you anymore, Olivia. It's not about what White did to Elliot or even what Oliver and Victor did to you and your mother. This life, _your_ life… it's all about those four babies lying in the hospital and sooner or later you're gonna have to understand that you don't get to be the bad ass cop that's indestructible-"

"You're right," Olivia whispered in defeat, "I was selfish. I wanted to see him die. I wanted to kill him and I put that before my children… Alex, please. I'm begging you. Get me out of here."

Alex exhaled, "Like I said, Carp posted your bail. It's just a matter of paperwork."

"How much?" Olivia asked in a raspy voice.

"Twenty grand… you're an expensive one, Olivia. Apparently the ADA thinks you're a flight risk. Traditionally you need ten percent and a bondsman will carry the rest but Carp put up his house. Remember that next time you want to play judge and jury."

"His house?" Olivia tilted her head, "he lives in an apartment."

"Yes… his _mother_ lives in a house. I'm not clear on the details but apparently he's on the deed."

"He put up his mother's house?" Olivia asked in shock, "Why would he do that!"

Alex reached out and touched her shoulder gently, "To save you Olivia. To get you out of here so you can be home with your kids."

"But… why not just put up _my_ house? Or our apartment or the loft Munch left us?"

"You'll have to talk to him," Alex said as the corrections officer walked back into the room, "I'll see you on the other side, Olivia. My friend already knows the prosecutor assigned to your case, some kid fresh out of law school. Calvin will eat him alive. He's trying to get a deal."

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"So," Alex smiled softly once she and Olivia had made it outside the confines of the jail, "how was the food in there?" she joked lamely.

Olivia looked up into the dark sky and soaked in the cool fresh air, "Powdered eggs and Top Ramen… got to love it." She said softly and then exhaled, "I'm going to loose my job aren't I?"

"Well," Alex blew out a breath, "Cragen is expecting me to take you to see him right now, but… I won't if you need to be with the kids first."

Olivia wiped at a tear, "I just want to get this over and done with so I can spend time with the kids. My back hurts, I want to see Elliot and I need to be milked, my boobs are killing me."

Alex smiled softly and wrapped her arm around Olivia's shoulder as they walked to Alex's car, "I'm sure Solomon will be glad to see you."

"See my milk jugs, you mean," Olivia smiled sadly and rested her head against her friend's shoulder, "Thank you Alex. Thank you for getting me out of there."

Alex exhaled, "Don't thank me yet… Calvin called me. Young ADA's are always trying to prove them selves. This guy wants to go to the mat… it could get ugly, Liv."

Olivia straightened her body and crammed her hands in her pockets as they walked, "Anything on Elliot?"

"No… but he's probably wondering where you are."

Olivia scoffed, "He'll crap himself when he finds out what I did."

"Well, maybe that's a good thing," Alex smiled, "maybe he'll wake up so he can scold you."

Olivia exhaled and slipped into the car once the locks popped open, "I'd do anything to hear him scold me again."

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The conversation with Cragen had exhausted her more than the beating she'd taken by five women, one of which she could have sworn was a guy. Hit like one too. Olivia massaged the back of her neck with her hand as Casey pulled up to Alex's house, "Please don't tell anyone," Olivia whispered, "I will, when I'm ready."

"It's not my business to tell… come on, let's go see your kids." Alex smiled and got out of the car meeting Olivia as they walked up the walkway of her home, "It's gonna work out." She assured her.

"I'm scared," Olivia confessed, "now more than ever… I don't know how I'm gonna do it. Elliot's hospital bills are going to be astronomical even with the insu-"

"Don't worry about that stuff," Alex said softly and ushered her into the house.

"Hey," Robert smiled with a sleeping Isaac on his shoulder, "wow… Olivia, what happened?"

Olivia pressed her lips together and shook her head as she reached for Isaac, "Alex will fill you in… can I have him, please?"

"Sure," he said softly and gently passed him to her, "the boys are sleeping in the spare room. It's so late in the evening right now and Sam refused to eat. Hannah is lying with them, if you'd like to see them."

"Please," Olivia whispered, looking down at her toddler son as she cradled his sleeping body close and followed Robert into the spare room.

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"All of you!" Cragen yelled from his office, "Get in here! Now!"

Like three obedient children destined for a spanking, Mac, Fin and Carp walked slowly into the Captain's office and closed the door behind them, "Cap?" Fin finally broke through the awkward silence, "is it Stabler? He wake up tonight?"

Cragen exhaled and sat, motioning for them to do the same, Carp remained standing, "No, Elliot is still touch and go. The nurses are kind enough to keep calling us. Alex has Olivia right now,"

"So she's out?" Carp asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah… why in the hell did you put up your house?"

Carp bowed his head and crammed his hands into his pockets, "She needed someone to get her out quick. You know what they'll do to a cop in there. It was twenty grand," he shrugged, "I couldn't come up with the funs and talk to a bailbondsman. We didn't have time to sit around. I don't own my apartment quite yet. I asked my mother and she didn't have a problem with it. Elliot isn't able to consult on the properties they owned. My mom is cool."

Fin raised his brow, "Your mother put up her home for a stranger?"

Carp shrugged, "My mother is pretty spectacular, besides, where is Benson gonna go? We know where she works, and she's not leaving her husband's side… I have no doubts she'll show up to court."

"You still loose money in the end," Fin smacked his lips.

"Well," Carp said in irritation, "when she can, she'll pay us back… it's not a big deal so stop acting like it is. If I didn't trust that she wouldn't show up to court, I wouldn't risk it."

Cragen exhaled, "You're a good man, Carp… Olivia, she's gonna hit rock bottom. The next few weeks are critical, so… all of you, I hope will stay in contact with her. I hope you all try to see her as much as possible."

"Gee," Mac folded his arms, "If I didn't know any better it sounds like the rat squad has already drafted her termination papers."

"Don't worry about all of that," Cragen exhaled and rubbed his hands over his face, "we're all gonna have I.A. so far down our throats that we'd better get our stories straight."

"Our story is the truth," Fin shrugged, "there was no gun."

"You know as well as I do that _there was_," Cragen exhaled and shook his head, "it's got her prints all over it."

"Where is it now?" Mac asked, leaning forward on his legs.

Cragen exhaled, "If I tell you… then you are all in even deeper than you are right now. Just know that it's taken care of."

"And the bullets?" Fin asked.

"All accounted for," Carp interjected, "I made sure and went over every inch of that hospital room before the assigned detectives got there."

Mac exhaled, "So… there's absolutely no proof there was a gun?"

"Just what White is saying," Cragen said and shrugged, "it's a con's word… won't hold water."

"What about the nurse?" Carp asked, "Think she'll flip her story?"

"No," Cragen exhaled, "I think… I think she's convinced it might have been too dark in the room to really know what, if anything, Olivia had in her hand."

"And the security guard?" Fin asked in angst, "that dude makes me nervous. First he says he's certain she was holding a .9mm with a silencer attached-"

"That's a lot of description," Carp muttered, "He _knows_ he saw a gun. He was positive."

"Yeah," Fin shook his head, "which makes me nervous. He took one look at White and suddenly there was no gun. Suddenly he's agreeing with all of us and telling the same story to the detectives as soon as they got there."

"So," Mac rand his hand through his hair, "you want to know why he suddenly changed his story?"

"Don't you?" Fin snipped.

"Look," Cragen interjected sternly, "We all need to get our stories straight. I.A is gonna be hunting our badges, so get it straight what you saw or didn't see."

"Alright then," Carp nodded, "there was no gun," he said resolutely. Not that I saw."

Fin nodded looking at the Captain, "I don't know why the nurse would have thought she had a gun. There was no gun that I saw."

Mac smirked at his colleagues and grinned, "White must have been delusional with all the meds. I searched that whole room, even looked under the mattress… no gun."

Cragen folded his arms across his chest, "Alright. No gun. Alex is taking her to see the kids. She'll probably shower and sleep and be back with Elliot as soon as Alex will let her."

"How's Alex?" Carp asked.

"Tired," Cragen exhaled and ran his hands over his balding head, "we're all tired."

"She getting in over her head?" Fin asked, "With her being pregnant and everything, I mean."

"Probably," Cragen nodded, "but, you try and separate one of those three women from the other and see if you live. They'll stand next to one another until they're all worn out."

"Sounds like they're close," Carp said softly.

Cragen smiled, "Unyielding," he said and tossed his pencil onto the desk, "get ready for the rat squad gentlemen."

"You really think they're coming for our badges?" Fin asked.

Cragen shrugged, "Not unless we give them a reason to. And right now, all we know is that the Nurse was mistaken, White was delusional and Carp and Mac searched the entire hospital room. No bullets. No gun. End of story. But," Cragen sat gently in his chair, "I think I speak for Olivia when I say, she wouldn't want us all putting our careers on the line for her, so… if any of you wants to back out. Do it now. No questions. No consequences."

Fin locked his gaze with Cragen's, "I've always hated myself for not telling Liv about Isaac. I've… well, ever since then, our relationship has been different. I feel like I let her down, this is my chance to show her I got her back, no matter what… No. Gun. Final answer," he said and stood to leave.

Mac nodded, "No gun," he said confidently and walked out the door following Fin.

Cragen looked at Carp, "You're a young detective, and from what Olivia has filled me in on… you've got a successful career ahead of you. Choose very wisely what decision you make. If this ever comes out, every case you've ever handled will come into question, you're integrity will be put on the chopping block… you ready to make that decision?"

Carp smiled softly, "I made that decision the day we became partners. It's a blood oath without the blood."

"So what are you saying?" Cragen asked with a small smile.

Carp ran his hand through his thick hair, "Same thing I've been saying all along. No gun."

"Good," Cragen pressed his lips together and took in a breath through his nose.

"There something else, Sir?"

Cragen looked at him and didn't have it in him to tell him the truth, "Carp," he said standing to his feet, "you're a good cop and however unethical a decision we've all made today, I know that you'll be a good cop, no matter who's got your back. I'm not sure our decision would make Olivia proud… she's not necessarily that type of a person. But, I think the devotion that you've showed in spite of how hard we rode you, is commendable."

Carp nodded, not sure what to make of the Captain's speech, "I have to get going, sir… got dinner plans with my mother."

Cragen grinned and extended his hand to the young detective, "You're a good man."

Carp responded in a soft whisper as he returned the hand shake, "No gun."

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Alex finished buttoning the last button of her flannel pajama shirt, exhaled as she finger combed her hair and smiled once Robert appeared in the doorway, "Dinner is served," he smiled. "Hop in bed," he told her as he made his way to her. She slid into the bed and adjusted the covers so he could place the tray over her thighs, "Now, I happen to know that frozen waffles are your favorite so," he smiled and waved his hand over the plate, "eat up."

She laughed and gently cupped his face with her hand, "Thank you."

He reached under the tray and stroked her belly softly, "I want two healthy girls."

"You want a _girl_?" she beamed and pulled him up to lay next to her.

He nuzzled in close, rested his chin on her shoulder as she sat up, "Or boy… doesn't matter. Just healthy which means you have to eat."

She rested her temple against the crown of his head, "I've been trying… can't keep it down."

"You've had a lot on your mind… how is she?"

"I checked in on her before I jumped in the shower. She's just lying with the kids. They're sleeping. She'll probably breast feed one of the babies… she said she was a little uncomfortable."

"I'm surprised her body is even cooperating," he whispered.

Alex exhaled and began cutting into her waffle, "She was having problems at the hospital, but it sounds like she might have got some food in her in jail."

"Looks like she got the crap beat out of her."

"She did," Alex exhaled and pushed the plate away, opting to rest her head against his chest, "I think it was more than just a beating but she won't talk about it… I'm willing to bet at least one of the people who attacked her, looks just as bad."

"If not worse."

She nodded in agreement. He smiled, reached out for the fork and stabbed at a piece of waffle before bringing it to her mouth. She accepted it without complaint, "How's Addison?"

"Totally thrilled that there are so many people in the house," he chuckled and lightly let his fingertips graze her back, "Paul brought me his play pen and he's camped out in it for the night. He's a beautiful little boy. He's been asking for Casey, so I let him carry that photo of you and Casey and Olivia where you guys were clowning around at the beach. That's a cool picture."

"How's Casey?" she asked, accepting another bite and nuzzling closer to him, enjoying the comfort of his body against hers. He was solid and strong and that was what she needed because the only thing she was feeling was scared and overwhelmed.

"Paul said she found out but he's keeping her on lock down except for the short visit to the hospital. Doesn't really want her to get in over her head right now… wants her to take it easy for a few days."

"She must be going nuts."

He laughed, "That's what he says. Yes… heard anything on Elliot?"

"No," she exhaled, "you think he's gonna make it?"

"I don't know… do you?"

"I promised Olivia… so, he better," she said as he brought another piece of waffle to her and she accepted it and continued to lie against him, "I love you," she said as she slowly chewed and thought about nothing and everything all at once.

"They're gonna be okay," he assured her.

"How's Sam?" she asked.

"Not talking, not eating… I'm surprised he's sleeping. He vomited everywhere today."

She exhaled, "I'm surprised they released him… they know he's not eating."

"He ate a bit at the hospital but only after they threatened to run a line on him-"

She groaned, "Insensitive jerks."

"It was for his own good. He ate and promptly puked in our car."

"He probably feels like crap about it."

"Yeah, he did and I felt so bad for him because he wouldn't let me touch him to help him get cleaned up or hold him. Isaac is upset with all of the sudden changes, but can I tell you something that I absolutely loved about the whole situation?" he asked with a smile she felt against her forehead.

"What?" she whispered and kissed his abdomen through his shirt.

"I looked in the rearview mirror and I saw these three car seats shoved into our back seat with these three beautiful babies in them and then I looked down next to me and saw Sam and I thought of what it was gonna be like when we get to cram a bunch of car seats into our car," he whispered and grazed her belly, "and I thought," he started to chuckle, "what it would be like to have our own sick little boy in our car on some random road trip. I just thought… I can't wait to have to buy a mini van with you."

She placed her head back onto the pillow and looked at him, "Minivan?" she crinkled her nose, "not my style, but uh… I can't wait to shove a bunch of car seats in our back seat either."

He grinned, kissed her softly on the lips and nuzzled her nose gently with his, "They're gonna be fine, Alex. Don't worry, okay?"

"I can't help it… she's not _like_ my sister… she _is_," she whispered.

He smiled, "And you and she are fighters. You'll get her through and when Casey gets stronger she'll be right there with you guys, and you've got us men to come home to and we'll love you guys and we'll take care of you and I'll make sure that you," he whispered and ran his finger over her naval, "and my son are doing great."

She exhaled kissed his lips again, "How were Chloe and Donovan?"

"They spent a few minutes with the kids at the hospital and then Donovan headed to work and they met up at Elliot and Olivia's to help clean."

"You think she'll want to go back to that house?"

"It's her home and from what you've said the first real home she's ever had. I don't think she's gonna let anyone scare her away from it."

She placed her head back on his chest, "Robert?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared."

"Of what?" he asked and gently passed his hand over her hair, "Tell me."

"I'm just… I don't know if I'm gonna be enough for Olivia and the kids. I feel handicapped without Casey."

"Let Casey heal," he whispered, "and I've told you, honey, she's gonna come back just as strong and we're all gonna get them through this. They were here for us, we're gonna be there for them. No questions asked."

Alex exhaled, "When I was a little kid… my mom use to take us to this, 'hell-fire-and-brimstone-' church. They told us that hell was where you went when you died if you weren't good, but I don't think that's true. I think that hell is exactly where we're at right now, watching our friends drown and we don't have any rope to throw them."

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Olivia ran her finger along Solomon's soft blond hair and trailed it along his chubby cheek, "I missed you," she whispered and gently rubbed his belly, "I hear you went on a hunger strike, huh?" she asked peering down into deep blue eyes that hadn't yet changed color. His arms moved frantically in front of him as his legs stretched and contracted, his cheek nuzzling her breast. That was all it took for his kicking to stop and his small hand begin to knead her breast through her shirt.

She smiled softly, "I don't know if this is gonna work," she whispered not wanting to wake up the other children, "Mom kind of got tossed around a little," she told him and exposed herself in the privacy of the room wincing at the bruising that covered her chest. The one woman had been so huge and when her foot stomped her chest she felt as though her lungs had been crushed. "We can try though," she whispered and brought her son close, he instantly latched on, his hand resting near her tattoo as he looked up at her and ate frantically from her breast. She pushed the pain of his movements out of mind and savored the connection, not knowing what would become of her family if Eliot didn't wake up, if she went to jail.

"I'm so scared Solomon," she whispered and gently rubbed his leg through pajama's she didn't recognize. Alex and Robert must have picked them up. She made a mental note to make sure to give them money. Money, she exhaled and groaned. Things were going to be tight. Extremely tight. "I don't know what I'll do if your daddy doesn't wake up… you just came from Heaven," she whispered, "maybe you and the Big Guy, still have some kind of connection? Maybe you can ask him?" she whispered and swiped at her tears, "I don't know what to do… and today, today I made a really huge mistake and if I loose you all too… I'll die. I won't be able to make it. Your daddy's not next to me and my heart is so broken," she confessed and could have sworn that as her son slowly blinked, she could see understanding, perhaps a promise, in his eyes that he would somehow, as he fell off to sleep, put in a word to the Big Guy for her.

She inserted her pinky just in time to feel him clamp down on her finger, "Beat ya to it," she whispered sadly and softly began to pat his back as he lay over her thighs. She stared down at Sam. What had she done? If she were to be locked up for any time at all, he would crumble. He was already crumbling. He'd been crumbling. Solomon burped and she gently placed him between Isaac and Sam, next to Hannah whose little arm told Olivia a story without any words or motions. She'd been hurt because Richard White had managed to get into their home. Her home.

"Hey," she whispered softly into Sam's ear, "hey, wake up, honey. You're grinding your teeth," she whispered and gently rubbed his back until he surprised her by waking completely up. That hadn't been her intention. He needed sleep and all she wanted him to do was relax his jaw a little bit. "Hey handsome… I missed you."

Sam's brows rose almost imperceptibly at his mother's voice and he took in a shaky breath releasing a sob and turning so his back was to her. She looked down at his legs, at the wound that seemed to travel the length of his calves. He was in a shirt and boxers, his wound too swollen to contend with fabric, "Hey," she whispered and pulled him close to her, "I'm right here," she whispered, "I know It must have been scary in the hospital without me, and I'm so sorry I had to leave for awh-"

He sobbed harder and she instantly pulled him even closer a small kiss placed on his cheek to which he steeled instantly and squirmed out of her embrace and sat up, a small moan when he adjusted his leg for a comfortable position, "What?" she whispered softly, "what is it?"

He reached out, his fingertips touching her chin and slowly making their way to her lips, a gasp and frantic shaking of his head when he'd felt the split. His hands roamed her face, the cut of her brow, her flinch when he touched her nose. He pulled back only to replace his touch even lighter, his face shattering as the sobs escaped him and he wrapped his arms around her neck and wormed his way into her lap, his damaged leg kept straight as he sobbed against her.

"I'm sorry, honey," she whispered "I'm so sorry I scared you. I'm right here, though. I'm here and I'm okay. Just a little banged up," she assured him, "but I'm fine."

He dug his hands into her neck and cried harder, she felt his tears fall from his face, graze her cheek and glide down her chest, some soaking into her shirt, others falling against her skin, scorching her with the truth that she had done this to him. That she left him alone in the hospital when he was already terrified. That it was _her_ past, _her_ stalker, _her_ White that had done this to him. It was _her_ fault. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to scare you… would you like something to eat-"

He screeched into her neck and frantically shook his head silently begging her not to leave, not to leave him, "You can come with me, you know?" she whispered, "I'll take you into the kitchen with me and we can fill up that big ole tummy you have."

He cried harder, more labored sobs but didn't seem to care when she swung her feet from the bed, him still in her arms as she grunted and stood to her feet, "You're so big," she whispered as he tightened his hold on her, "its good you're big," she kissed him gently and walked him into the kitchen. "You were your brothers' and sister's hero… your daddy's super hero," she told him and gently sat him on the kitchen island counter.

"What kind of super hero food would you like?" she asked softly and ran her finger over his cheek, "Hmm? Can you answer me, please?"

He swallowed and gripped the counter tightly with his hands, refusing to communicate with her, "Fair enough," she said softly, "Robert made Alex some dinner and he said he made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in case you got hungry… sounds pretty tasty to me, want some?"

Nothing.

She exhaled, cupped his faced softly in her hand and lowered her lips to his cheek, a small kiss before whispering in his ear, "Please don't shut down on me, baby. Don't push me out of your heart, please?"

Nada.

She nodded softly and kissed his forehead gently, she turned and as soon as her hands left him he screeched and grabbed for her. She spun back around and caught him just before his bottom had slid off of the counter, "Okay, okay, okay… I'm right here. Just gonna get you some food," she assured him, "I'm not leaving. Never again. I promise."

He took in a shuddered breath and she picked him back up, determined to get food into his stomach even if she had to carry him around the kitchen with her. She pulled the sandwich bag from the refrigerator along with the glass of milk Robert had been kind enough to prepare for him. She sat him back on the counter. He was too heavy and there was no way she was getting him back to the kitchen table without a break. Her body ached, she was exhausted and without Elliot next to her she was weaker than she'd ever thought imaginable.

She pulled the sandwich out of the zip lock bag and separated it into two halves with her hands, placing one in his hand and the other next to him on the plastic bag. He held the food but made no motion to eat it. She raised his arm so that the sandwich grazed his lips; "Go ahead," she encouraged, "I'll stay right here the whole time, I promise."

He took a small, timid bite and chewed slowly. She reached for the milk as her own stomach growled. She'd worry about her own sustenance later. "Here," she said softly and raised the cup to his lips. He took a careful drink and surprised her when he reached out, placed his hand on her cheek and held his sandwich to her own lips, "No, honey," she said softly, "it's your's, eat up, get strong."

Insistent, he pressed the sandwich against her mouth, the peanut butter smudging onto her upper lip as he touched her stomach softly. In the midst of every thing he'd went through, he was still looking out for her. Of all things, he was making sure his mother was fed. She wrapped her hands around his waist, her fingers meeting at the small of his back and took a small bite of his sandwich, tears falling at the tenderness of the young boy in front of her. A fighter for his family, even when he himself was crushed. He raised his glass of milk to her and she took a small drink, content to let him have the majority of it.

Silently, he took another small bite and slowly chewed as she leaned her forehead against his, "Will you talk to me? Please, honey?"

He brought the sandwich between them and took another bite before simply placing it next to him and hooking his small hand around her neck pulling her close. He felt tenderly about her face, his fingertips touching the wound around her eye. He leaned in, kissed her wound gently before lowering his lips to her swollen nose, lightly grazing her with his lips and landing a feather kiss over her damaged mouth.

"Thank you," she whispered as his fingers brushed away her tears, "feels better already."

He touched her lips with his fingertips and then touched his leg with the same hand, "Want me to kiss it?" she asked softly. He pressed his lips together and nodded affirmatively. Delicately, she took his ankle into her hand and lowered her lips to the side of his calf where multiple sutures peeked out of his skin. She kissed him gently, took his hands into hers and kissed the scratches on his palm, his broken fingernails. The scratches about his face, "I love you, Samuel," she whispered, "I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I scared you. Will you forgive me?"

He raised his hand, touched her heart softly and leaned against her. She wrapped her arms around him and stroked his back gently. He flinched at her touch and she gently raised the back of his shirt to see various scrapes bruises and scratches. He'd been found virtually naked. Evidence on his knees and hands of repeated falls.

A fighter for his family even when he himself was crumbling.

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_Three days._

_Seventy-two hours_

_Four-thousand-three-hundred and twenty minutes_

_Two-hundred-fifty-nine-thousand-two hundred seconds and counting._

Olivia sat softly next to Elliot's bedside, "Hey," she whispered and laced her fingers with his limp ones, "before you ask, Robert has the kids. Isaac woke up in the middle of the night asking for you," she told him and rubbed his knuckles gently with her thumb, "I told him you were resting," she exhaled and wiped the moisture from her eyes. "I told him that the other night really made you tired and you needed a special place to rest… that's what your doing right, baby?" she whispered and brought his hand up to kiss it gently, "You're just resting and getting stronger so you can come home to us?"

She watched his chest rise and fall, the constant sound of his breathing machine intruding upon her thoughts. She smirked, "You know," she said licking the tears that formed about her lips, "I still owe you a sexy dance… I haven't forgotten," she chuckled lightly, "if you come home with me tonight, I could uh… throw in that song you wanted me to sing to you… yeah, I'm bribing you. I want you home with me El."

She began to weep and splayed his hand over her cheek, "El, I'm in a lot of trouble and I need you… Cragen told me… well, it's not official, but they took my badge and gun last night. I'm pretty sure I lost my job, El. Last night. I deserved it really. I made a big boo boo," she laughed bitterly, "I need you with me El… I'm so scared, how can I pay the bills? Cragen said your pay is…. I don't know, I can't really remember, but it's some kind of settlement with the force if you never wake up. But, we don't have to worry about that. Do we?" she whispered and looked up at his swollen face, "Please come home to me," she wept, "I don't even care about our jobs, we can sell everything and move back to the city, El… please, wake up," she begged, "I need you so much, I've never been this scared before… Alex says I can still go to jail for awhile and… I'm scared, El… please wake up… make this go away."

"Mrs. Stabler?"

Olivia jolted up in her chair and swiped at her tears, "Y-yes. Can I help you?"

A young nurse smiled softly, "We were just about to wipe him down... did you maybe want to get something to eat?"

Olivia shook her head, "No. No… wipe him down?"

"Yes," the nurse smiled, "He's been here for three days. It's important that his skin is kept clean to prevent infection, especially since we can't get him into a gown… its warm water and then we have a special type of sock that we'll put on his leg and a warming blanket over his chest, that way he's a little more comfortable."

"He's been cold," Olivia whispered and lightly touched his naked abdomen, "he's been so cold."

"Yeah," the nurse exhaled, "we're gonna change that for him today though… do you want to wait outside?"

"No," Olivia shook her head, "No… can I do it? If I'm careful… can I do it?"

The young nurse smiled, "Sure," she said softly and tossed a soft rag into a warm pale, "the trick is to be gentle and fast. We don't want to make him colder," she said and rung out the rag before handing it to her, "don't go too hard against his skin."

Olivia took the warm rag in her hand and gently padded his face, careful of his wounds, before padding along his neck and shoulders. The tube from the breathing machine making things a little more cumbersome. The nurse pushed the pale closer to Olivia, "I'm Daniela…he's gonna wake up, you know?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip and dipped the rag back into the water, "That's what we're all praying for," she whispered and gently ran the cloth over his bruised and battered chest, "Do you think he can hear us?" she asked.

"It's possible," Daniela smiled, "But we don't know until they wake up and laugh at us for all the silly things we've confessed to them while they were out."

Olivia looked up at the young nurse and smiled gently, "I'm Olivia."

"I know… he must love you."

Olivia furrowed her brow as she gently wiped at his un-bandaged hand, "Why do you say that?"

Daniela smiled, "I have to keep an eye on his vitals and they run a pretty consistent number, his is normally on the low side, no matter what time I check on him… except when you're here. His monitor goes up a few beats and stays that way until you leave."

Olivia's eyes went wide, "I'm stressing him out?"

"I think it's the contrary," she smiled, "I'm not sure exactly what happened that you missed a visit, but his heart rate started to fall so much so that we didn't think he'd pull through the night. You come back, and look," she smiled and pointed back to the monitor, "its right where it usually is… plus five."

Olivia chuckled and sobbed at once and lowered her lips to Elliot's ear, "I'll take that as a sign you're coming home," she whispered and kissed him softly, "just make it sooner, rather than later."

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Three days after Olivia was guided in gently washing her husband's limp body, nothing had changed. A breathing machine still breathed for him, she was still in limbo about her job, although she knew she would be fired as soon as IA finished their investigation and Sam was still as quiet as ever. Even going so far as refusing to come out of the spare room in the Gray's house that they were staying in.

It was to Olivia's great appreciation that Alex and Robert took both the babies and Isaac with them to the park. Olivia opted to stay with Sam, who wasn't willing to go and Addison who was currently running around the house with a small container of fruit loops in his hand. His mother would be by any minute to see him. To finally take him home, back into her heart and arms and warmth. Olivia wished Elliot could come home back into her own her own arms and warmth.

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"Do you think that he'll recognize me?" Casey asked as Paul pulled their car along the curb.

"You're his mother," he smiled softly and took her hand into his after shutting the car off.

She nodded and looked at their interlaced fingers, "I know… I just, I haven't been a very good one."

"Nonsense!" he told her and gave her a gentle squeeze of her hand before kissing her cheek softly, "Come on, let's go get our son… and I know you've been wanting to see Olivia."

"Do you think… she'll want to see me?"

"Alex said she asked about you frequently but… didn't want to add stress to you or make you feel obligated to stop by. She cares about you and she probably wants to see you just as bad as you do her… how was coffee with Alex this morning? I only got to chat with her for a few minutes before you two went out."

"It was good," Casey smiled, "she's gonna be so fat, Paul. Fatter than I was, probably just as fat as Olivia was."

"She's got a tiny frame… it's bound to be more noticeable. Were you anxious?"

"A little… but," she ran her hand through her hair, "it was more because I thought people were starring at me, like they knew I'd just been released from a mental ward… but it was good to spend time with Alex… she looks tired."

"She's got a lot on her plate."

"I hate that I've added to it."

"I think she would have killed you if you didn't lean on her," he told her softly, "she loves you. She wants to be here for you, and look at you; you're getting stronger each day. We're gonna see Addison today, maybe take him home if you're up-"

"I'm up for it," she said quickly and looked at him, "I am. You've got to believe me that I want my little boy with us."

He smiled softly, caressed her cheek, "I believe you… I know you do. Come on," he whispered and kissed her softly before exiting the vehicle and opening the door for her.

They walked hand in hand until they came to the door and Paul knocked softly, "Paul," Casey whispered and clutched his hand a little tighter, "Are you sure Addy is gonna want to see me?"

"Positive," he whispered and kissed her temple as the door opened revealing a haggard and very much exhausted Olivia.

"Ah," Olivia crammed her hands in her pocket and forced a sad smile, "I have a little boy in here that's dying to see his mother."

Casey smiled, her eyes brimming with tears, "Olivia," she whispered and took a hesitant step closer. Paul couldn't say if it was Olivia that fell into Casey's embrace or Casey that fell into Olivia's but he could tell you that end result was two beautiful women, weeping in one another's arms. Casey for her shame; Olivia for the damage inflicted on her family, both for the absence of the other.

"I'm sorry," Casey whispered, "I'm so sorry I couldn't be there."

"You're here now," Olivia whispered, "and I need you now just as much as you need me. You would have been here if you could. I know that," Olivia sniffled, "I'm sorry I couldn't take you for dinner when you got out, like I promised."

Casey tightened her embrace and took in a breath, "Not a big deal… there will be time later."

Neither woman separated from the other and Paul quietly sidestepped them both and walked into the home that was neither his nor Olivia's but belonged to two selfless people that opened up their space, their food and their time for them all. Minutes later, the women finally broke their embrace only to see a smiling Addison in his father's arms.

"Casey," Paul smiled, "I have someone here for you."

Casey lowered her gaze as Paul lowered their son to the floor. She kneeled slowly, not sure if she could handle it if Addison didn't want to come to her, but when she held out her hands to him and his eyes finally settled on hers all fears dissipated.

"Mama!" Addison pointed at her and grinned through a giggle as he waddled just as fast as his toddler body could let him. He wedged his body between her thighs and rested his head against her breast; "Mama!" he laughed as she stood with him slowly and wrapped her arms around him, her nose resting against his freshly washed hair. She kissed him gently on the crown of his head and cried. Cried because he recognized her. Cried because he willingly came to her. Cried because there was nothing else to do.

"Are the boys here?" Paul asked giving his wife as much time as she needed without his interference.

"Just Sam," Olivia wiped the moisture from her eyes "But, please… he's been very upset. Don't try to touch him and don't be upset if he doesn't talk to you."

"Okay," Paul smiled, "No problem… just want to give you ladies some time alone."

Olivia exhaled and gave a shaky nod, "Okay… thank you."

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"He looks good in your arms," Olivia said as she and Casey sat on the couch.

"He feels good in my arms," Casey whispered and leaned back with Addison resting softly against her body, "I missed him so much, I can't believe I made the decisions I did. This is right, holding him. Loving him. It makes everything right."

Olivia smiled softly knowing her smile was weak but wanting to be with her friend, wanting to walk with her through this misery that she was going through, "He looks peaceful in your arms. I told him you were coming today and all he could do was giggle."

Casey closed her eyes, ran her hand over his soft hair, "I missed his giggle, I… I was so jealous that this little guy loved his father so much. That's so shallow, I'm so lucky to have a husband who adores his son."

"Yeah," Olivia swallowed. Elliot was her husband. He loved their children.

"Oh, Olivia," Casey whispered, "I visited the kids in the hospital… Paul told me about you and White… what were you thinking, Olivia?"

She shook her head and sniffled, looking out the window, March was coming soon, "I just… I wanted to make him hurt like he made Elliot hurt, but… I wanted to take it a step further. I wanted to kill him so he could never make us hurt again."

Casey exhaled and nodded to her face, "He rough you up?"

Olivia let out a weak laugh, "No. No, that was Connie-the-coochie-con."

"Oooh," Casey winced, "she slammed you around?"

"They."

"They?"

"Yeah… don't really want to talk about it. I just… I dunno," she exhaled loudly.

"How's Sam?"

"Not talking."

"Isaac?"

"A little blue."

"Babies?"

Olivia smiled softly, "Hannah broke her forearm, but is doing well and Solomon is eating well. All the kids are well… I'm just so worried about Sam. He won't talk. If he's awake, he won't let me out of his range of touch, he won't talk to any of the guys. Refuses to hold the babies and sometimes he'll respond well to Isaac and sometimes he can't be in the same room with him. I'm not sure what's happening in his little mind. Mags is gonna come try to talk with him."

"Olivia," Casey tilted her head, "you look terrible."

"Thank you… you look like you've been released from the nut yard," she quipped and both women freely laughed at jokes only they could pull off under these circumstances. Casey sighed stroking her son's back, "How is Elliot?"

Olivia swallowed and lowered her gaze to hide her wet eyes, "Not so good."

"What are they saying?"

She exhaled, "He, uh… might not walk."

"Olivia," Casey said quickly, "that's what they told me, and look… I managed to walk myself off that bridge."

Olivia bit her lip, "I uh… was doing some research on the internet this morning for spinal injuries… if he does wake up. It's gonna be a nightmare. He'll slowly die."

Casey exhaled, "I'm assuming, you were read up on sex?"

"Yeah," she whispered softly and traced invisible patterns into the sofa cushion.

"I had… a few problems," Casey exhaled, "but… it wasn't anything we didn't get over."

Olivia tilted her head, "You had problems?"

"Yeah," Casey blushed, "Uh… not something I like talking about, but… yeah, the first time there was no sensation, but Paul found other ways to be intimate with me. Holding me, candle lit dinners, flowers, all that mushy crap… sooner or later, the orgasm followed."

Olivia gave a faint smirk, "Elliot will kill me if I bring him flowers… but maybe he'll like some."

"You don't have to worry about this stuff, Olivia," Casey assured her, "because your husband is gonna wake up… he's gonna give you a hard time for your stay at the cross-bar hotel and then your gonna take him home and your gonna love him and eventually your gonna make love to him and it's gonna be fine. It'll be work, you saw my recovery, you know SCI's are miserable to recover form, but they're possible."

"Making love… it's not everything to me. It's not. But… I'm not stupid, I know how Elliot thinks. I know that he will be crushed, he'll question his manhood if he wakes up and he's paralyzed."

"Olivia, paralyzed people have sex all the time."

"Yeah," Olivia scoffed, "and according to the internet article I was reading it usually involves a penile vacuum, or an implant or inflation device."

"Don't do this to yourself, Olivia… you can't think about all of that stuff right now. You've got to be there with him, for him and alongside of him… love him."

"I do," Olivia said eagerly, "you have no idea how much I love that man. So much so that I was willing to kill in cold blood-"

"But you didn't… and that doesn't mean you love him any less."

Olivia exhaled, turned her gaze to the back of the house where she knew Sam was, "My son… is so scared. It's like he's reverted back to square one, only worse."

"You'll pull him out of this," Casey assured her, "has he visited Elliot yet?"

Olivia ran her hand through her hair, "Do you think he should? Do you think he can handle it?"

"Olivia," Casey reached out and rubbed her arm soothingly, "does he even know that Elliot is in the hospital? Have you explained the condition?"

Olivia exhaled, "I'm barely getting by on my own right now."

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"Hey, honey," Olivia whispered softly as Sam lay curled in a ball, his back to her. "Can I lay with you?"

Sam offered her no reply but made room for her next to him and rolled carefully to face her. Olivia ran her fingertips over his cheek, "Hi," she said softly and kissed his forehead. "How was your visit with Paul? He said you didn't talk… were you scared of him?"

Sam nuzzled close to his mother and sniffled, his nose against her neck, his hand holding tight to her waist as he began to cry softly, "Paul is your good friend… remember? He has gentle hands and a nice heart," she explained, "he loves you very much."

He pulled her closer, wiggling his body as close to her as he could as he sobbed harder into her clothing. If he wasn't sleeping he was weeping and Olivia didn't know how to stop it, "Mags said she wanted to come and visit. Would you like to visit with her?" He buried his head into her neck and nodded his discontentment with the idea. "I'd like for you to try and visit with her-" his rapid nodding, again telling her he didn't want to, and told her to stop pushing the subject.

"Okay," she whispered and kissed his forehead, "what would you li-" before she could finish her sentence she felt the all too familiar warmth of urine against her body, seeping along her side, "Okay, let's go jump in the shower, huh?" she said softly and gently pulled him from the bed, "Can you walk? You're super heavy for mom," she smiled but when he raised his hands for her to lift him she obeyed just the same and held him against her middle, unconcerned with the urine that seeped between them.

"Alright… do you need me to help you? Might be a little tricky with the stitches," she said as she let him stand in the bathroom while she turned the water to warm. He exhaled a shaky breath and rubbed his eyes, Olivia didn't know if it was possible but he looked as though he were a twenty year old freshman struggling through finals. He was exhausted, pale, his eyes were dark and sunken, and his lips split from constant worry.

Gently, she helped him remove his damp boxers and his shirt and for the first time, she saw his entire body since the night Richard White had reeked his havoc. His back, bruised and scratched and cut, his small rib cage expanding and lowering with small breaths were bruised with hand prints that could easily be made out. His fingernails broken, his feet cut and bruised. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed the corner of his face, "You're such a beautiful little boy," she whispered before taking his hand and helping him into the shower where a gentle stream fell over his body, "I was thinking," she told him softly as she retrieved the bar of soap from the corner of the tub, "would you like to visit your dad today?"

He stilled, his lips parting in surprise as his eyebrows rose slightly and he gave her a small nod. "I thought," she continued as she gently washed him, "you and I could go down to the Ben and Jerry's shop and maybe grab some Cherry Garcia… maybe some Chunky Monkey."

It was faint, but she saw the smile on his lips.

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"Before you ask," Olivia whispered as she laced her hand with Elliot's, "Isaac and Hannah and Solomon are with Alex and Robert… I think they knew I needed some time with Sam," she said as she absently rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. "I saw Casey today… she looks better but she still has a long climb ahead of her… she took Addison home today and they looked good together… real good," she whispered softly. "I brought someone by to see you," she smiled and gently released his hand walking back to where Sam sat and slowly leading him back to his father's bedside.

Cautiously, Sam extended his hand and with the help of Olivia rested his fingertips on Elliot's battle scarred face, "Gently," she reminded Sam and picked him up, perching him on the bed next to his father. Sam returned his hands to his Dad's face, lightly grazed the bandage on his cheek, walked his fingers to the breathing tube and frowned.

"It lets your daddy breath," Olivia whispered as she watched the young boy carefully. His tears were silent as he tenderly felt about his father's body. His bandaged hand, his metal encased leg, the gauze that was snugly wrapped around his other leg.

"Feel this blanket?" Olivia asked softly and watched as Sam ran his fingers over it, "It's a special type of blanket to keep your father warm and that's what is also on his feet. The nurses can make it warmer or cooler… pretty awesome, huh?"

Sam surprised her by simply stretching his body alongside his fathers and adjusting Elliot's good arm so that it wrapped around his small body. He curled up tight to his dad and the strength of his body and began to rub Elliot's abdomen through the blanket as he cried against his chest. Olivia glanced up at the monitor to see her husband's heart rate grow stronger, more rapid until it leveled off and Sam continued to cry. While she might have known that Sam would want to touch his father she would have never prepared herself for what he did next.

Sam raised his wet face and scooted further up the bed so his lips met his father's cheek; he kissed Elliot gently and whispered, "I'm sorry Daddy."

Olivia felt her heart sink and soar all at once. He'd spoken, but he'd also proved to her what she thought all along, he was blaming himself for his father's inability to wake up. As if his nine year old body would have been able to drag Elliot out of the house and through the brush to safety. The only thing more amazing than hearing Sam speak for the first time since the attack on her family, was the tear that made its way out of Elliot's closed eyes.

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"You're sure what you saw Detective?" IAB officer Winslow asked with a cocked brow.

Fin smirked, "It's the same thing I've been telling you for the last six and a half hours… but go ahead, ask me again. Maybe the five thousandth time I tell you will be the charm."

"Why are you so defensive, Detective Tutuola?" Winslow's partner, Viallobos, asked with a tilted head.

Fin shrugged, "I don't know… maybe it has to do with the fact that you're wasting my time. Maybe I had a date-"

"You don't date," Winslow said opening a file in her hand and pacing the room, "In fact… you don't do much of anything besides this job."

"Well," he smiled, "I don't look this good shopping at Wal-Mart. I've got bills to pay, got to work to get the pay check and last time I checked, working wasn't a crime… ratting was."

"So… you don't want to rat out Benson and that's why you're feeding us this bull story?" Winslow asked with a smirk.

"No," Fin leaned back, "I don't want you to steal the only slice of cheddar on my sandwich that has been waiting for me on my desk since your whisker and tail squad starting asking me all these questions."

"What do you think of Carpideum Stratus?" Viallobos asked, ignoring Fin's blatant insult.

Fin shrugged, "What's to know? He's been a good cop since he's been here. He's not my partner."

"But he is Benson's isn't he?" Winslow asked.

Fin smacked his lips, "Is stupidity a requirement for the rat squad?"

"Morality." Winslow smirked.

Fin cocked a brow, "Morality? How'd you get the job then?"

She chuckled, "You're a ballzy detective considering you're in hot water."

"How's that?" Fin asked undaunted, "I didn't do anything wrong."

"What were you doing at the hospital that Richard White was at?" Villalobos asked furrowing his bushy brows.

"I already told you, my partner and I got a call form our Captain who had received a call from a friend. She was concerned that Benson was going to see White."

"And she did." Winslow interjected.

Fin narrowed his eyes at her, "You're a real bright candle… it's no secret that Benson went to the hospital room that White was in."

"Mr. White contends she had a gun and even pulled the trigger."

"Show me the spent round," Fin retorted and stared boldly at both officers, "show me the gun you retrieved from the crime scene."

"You admit a crime took place?" Winslow interjected.

"I'm referring to the scene you assume a crime took place in… it's not a secret that Benson hated White, we all know she went in that room and had a little fun with him… did she have a gun?" Fin locked his gaze with the questioning officer, "No. Detective Benson. Did not. Have. A. Gun."

"You sure about that?" Villalobos smiled, "Detective Stratus told us a little something different."

Fin smiled, "Now I know you're full of crap and haven't got a case to save your own nuts."

"How's that?" Winslow inquired.

Fin stood, unconcerned with the remaining questions, "Because," he smiled and retrieved his jacket, putting it on and adjusting his cufflinks, "Carp don't eat cheddar."

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"How'd it go in there?" Cragen asked as Fin filed into his office behind Mac.

"I need to disinfect," Fin snipped and sat down.

"Think they're gonna bite?" Mac asked, "Where's the kid?

"We didn't give them a reason not to," Fin said shoving his hands in his pockets, "Carp went to Olivia's house… what does he expect to find by going there all the time?"

"Doesn't really matter," Cragen exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck.

"How's that, Sir?" Fin asked, "We we're all careful, we all stuck to the same story."

"White is dead… homicide just called me while Fin was being questioned."

"Where was Benson?" Mac asked. It was on everyone's mind the second Cragen said White was dead, just so happened he was the only one with enough balls to ask. To question the whereabouts of a woman they'd all just put their careers on the line for.

"Relax," Cragen said before taking his seat, "she's not our perp. I'll admit that was the first thing that went through my mind but I called Alex who said Olivia should have been at the hospital visiting Elliot."

"_Should_ have been and _is_, are two different scenarios," Fin said.

"Exactly," Cragen nodded, "which was why I called the hospital, she was there for the past several hours, just left about thirty minutes ago… there's no possible way she was there."

"You sure," Mac raised a brow, "if I'm gonna risk the unemployment line for her, I need concrete evidence."

Cragen exhaled, "I know that Olivia isn't the perp."

"That's all fine and great, but I think I speak for all of us when I say that we need a little more than that," Mac pushed.

"Homicide has the guy in custody."

Mac leaned back slowly, "Really? Who?"

Cragen drug his tired eyes to Fin's shocked gaze, "None of you were a part of SVU at the time but, Richard White had murdered-"

"An ADA in the ramble," Fin finished. "Elliot told me about the case. I'd read a little just to feel the unit out. I'm familiar."

"Well," Cragen rubbed his brow, "we're you aware she had a kid brother?"

Fin shook his head, "No… what's this got to do with White now?"

Cragen took in a long deep breath, "Well, what if I told you I know the reason why the security guard suddenly changed his story and stuck with it?"

Mac's mouth fell open, "The security guard murdered White?"

Cragen pressed his lips together and nodded, "Revenge for the murder of his older sister."

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"You're smiling," Alex said and gently passed Hannah to her mother who eagerly awaited her.

"Sam spoke today-"

"Really!" Alex grinned and sat on the couch next to her friend, "Wow… that's so great."

"Well," Olivia exhaled, "it's bitter sweet but yeah… I'll take anything I can get out of the little man."

"Where is he?"

"Sleeping… Alex, we're a big group, if you need your space you'll let us know, right?"

"Robert and I have already talked about it, our home is your home and your families home as long as you guys need it to be and if that means Elliot wakes up and we take him here too… that's fine by us… you can pay us back when our little one comes by babysitting."

Olivia grinned, "You know we would love too…what do you want to have?"

"A girl or a boy."

"That's original," Olivia smirked, "come on… you're not leaning one way or another?"

"I'm secretly praying for a little girl, but I'll be just as happy if we have a little boy," she smiled and rubbed her belly, "there would be a lot of boys between all of us. A lot of sports to attend a lot of puppies to bu- I'm sorry," Alex whispered, "I didn't me-"

"No," Olivia smiled, "No, Alex, its fine. Mac called last night and told me that he still has Zeus and that he's doing very well. Eating… I'm scared every second that Elliot isn't gonna wake up."

"He will," Alex assured her, "I have no doubts."

Olivia shook her head and exhaled, "Today, Sam crawled up on the bed and wrapped Elliot's arm around him and… _apologized_ to him. He has nothing to apologize for."

"He feels guilty?"

"Why should he?" Olivia pleaded softly, "He's a little boy who saved his brothers and sister."

"Maybe that's why he feels guilty," Alex said softly, "He managed to get the kids out of the house… maybe he couldn't figure how to get Elliot out."

"He's such a hero, though… he's made me so proud to be his mother. He thought quick, Cragen said he used the GPS on the phone for Hannah… do you know that I had only mentioned the GPS on the phone once and it was such a fleeting remark I didn't really think he was paying attention."

"Apparently he was."

Olivia ran her hand along Hannah's cast and smiled down at her daughter when she grabbed her finger in her tiny fist, "When Sam crawled up next to Elliot… Elliot cried"

"What?" Alex furrowed her brow, "He's awake?"

"No," Olivia shook her head softly, "No… but I talked to the doctors. They didn't want to give me false hope but they said it could be his body finally responding to the pain which was good to an extent, she said he might be hearing what we were saying, but she also said, it could be nothing."

"What do you think?"

Olivia licked her lips, "I think… I think he's trying to tell me he can hear us. I don't want to know he's in pain, and I don't believe it was nothing… I'm choosing to have blind faith that he can hear us."

Alex smiled and rubbed Olivia's arm assuredly, "He's coming back. You know Elliot; he's always been a little slow and stubborn."

Olivia sobbed and laughed, "Yeah… he likes to see me squirm."

"He'd wake up in a heart beat if he could."

"I know," Olivia whispered, "I just… I want him next to me. I don't care if he can't walk. I don't care if we never make love again or even if I have to feed him or tie his damn shoes every morning… I just, I need him next to me," she whispered and pawed at her tears, "I want him home."

"Do you want to go back to that house? I mean, I know you have the apartment and the loft. Have you thought about it? And before you say anything, no you haven't overstayed."

"That's our home," she replied firmly, "Elliot and I love that place and Sam has it memorized. It's us. It's where we belong and we're not letting any sick bastard take our home from us. I don't care if we have to man the damn thing with cannons. It's ours. But-"

"But?"

Olivia exhaled, "I just… last night I couldn't sleep and I started to go over our finances in my mind. I know that I'm going to be fired. There's just no way around it, what I did was wrong and I'll step up to the plate which means we're down one income and if Elliot never wakes up, we'll be down two… the kids have to eat. Even though Alex is helping with the research on my case, I might have to pay for the help of her friend… I think that even though we own the house free and clear, it'll be safe if I sold the apartment and maybe the mustang."

Alex nodded softly, "You seem to have thought it out, but are you sure?"

"Well," Olivia licked her lips, "even if Elliot does wake up and let's say we're really lucky and he can walk… the damage to his hand, Alex, that's his gun hand. His ACL is severed, his hamstring is sliced up and his other leg was shattered. He'll never be able to pass a physical for the force. He won't work as a cop… we're gonna both have to find different jobs and I think we're gonna have to really buckle down, but it'll be doable. And if push really comes to shove then we'll sell the loft too, but we're not selling that house. Come hell or high water, we're not selling it. I'm not moving. In fact, I was on my way over to the house to pick some stuff up, I just wanted to stop by and see my little guys but… we're not moving out of that house."

Alex smiled, "You are so stubborn."

Olivia smirked, "Yep. Not moving. Besides, Sam will eventually want another puppy… you can't keep a puppy in an apartment."

"Have you told Sam about Tripod?"

Olivia exhaled, "How do you tell your little boy that his puppy died. How do you break his heart when it's already shattered?"

"I don-" it was a sob from the hallway that cut Alex off mid thought.

Olivia's eyes went wide and she quickly passed Hannah to Alex and walked to the hallway to see Sam leaning against the wall, his palms covering his face as he cried, "Oh, Sam," Olivia whispered and kneeled in front of him. "Honey," her voice broke and she gently lowered his hands from his face, "how long have you been standing here?"

He sobbed uncontrollably and she knew by the new pain that his cries represented that he'd heard about Tripod. She didn't want him to hear about it this way. She wanted to sit him down when he was stronger or at least wait until he asked about Tripod, "I'm sorry, baby," she whispered and opened her embrace for him to fall into her. She held him tightly eventually choosing to simply sit in the hallway and hold him. She felt him gasp against her skin, suck in air and force it out in labored cries until he arched his head back and covered his face crying as hard as Olivia had ever seen him.

She felt his belly contract against hers as he drew in uneven breaths and simply screamed and sobbed before returning his face back to her neck and weeping until he'd grown sick and vomited against Olivia's neck. He coughed and cried harder, shaking his head once he realized he'd gotten sick all over her.

"Its fine," she assured him and simply moved his head to her other shoulder, "It's fine," she whispered, vaguely aware that Alex was rummaging for a towel to help her out. "You know what Mac told me about Tripod?" she whispered and rubbed his back as he sobbed, "he told me that if Tripod hadn't of went after the man in the house… he could have still hurt you and Isaac and the babies."

Alex handed her a damp towel and she gently pulled Sam away to wipe his face and body, opting to simply remove his shirt, "You were you're daddy's super hero and Tripod was yours… he died to make sure you got away, that's how much he loved you, Sam. You should be so proud of him. He's a hero, just like you are. He's a super hero and I'm so proud of him and I'm so thankful," her voice broke as she continued to wipe down his bruised body, "that I'm holding you today, and I owe that to your puppy. I'm so happy he saved you, just like Zeus tried so hard to save you guys and protect you," she whispered and kissed his forehead. "Mac has Zeus and he's gonna be just fine, he tells me he's eating big, just like Solomon does… would you like to visit Zeus?"

Sam shook his head 'No' and simply dropped his shoulders cradling his face in his battered hands and crying. Olivia took quick swipes at her own clothing and gently pressed him back to her clean shoulder rocking him softly as he cried. He'd told his father he was sorry, she figured he felt responsible for Elliot's condition and she wondered as she held her son, if he felt just as responsible for Tripod's death, if he somehow calculated that Tripod died _because_ of him instead of _for_ him.

She exhaled softly as she held and rocked him, her lips finding his ear and singing softly to him, "I will change your name. You shall no longer be called, wounded, out cast, lonely or afraid…" she sang soothingly over him, repeating the short song to him over and over until, after several minutes, he'd given into his exhaustion and fell asleep against her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Carp?" Olivia furrowed her brow and pushed her sun glasses up as she entered her home for the first time since the attacks.

"Olivia," he stood from his squatting position in the living room, "what are you doing here? Alex said you went to run errands."

Olivia shrugged softly, "This was one of the stops… why are you here?" she asked taking a few hesitant steps into her home. It was peaceful and frightening and lonely and blissful all in the same breath.

He exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck, "Just, uh… making sure the detectives got their crap straight."

"How so?" She asked starring straight at him, too scared to look around her own home.

"Just making sure their reports reflect the evidence… you shouldn't be here. It's not cleaned up… not all of it."

She exhaled, "I needed our financial portfolio… I need to get a lot of things straightened out."

"I could have brought it to y-"

"Walk me through the crime scene."

"No."

"Carp-"

"No."

"Damnit!" she snapped, "Don't treat me like a kid! Walk me through," she demanded.

He exhaled, "Uh… from what I gather… it started outside."

She nodded and swallowed, "Alright, outside."

She's wasn't sure if the chill she felt in her body was from the March winds or if the circulation of her blood simply stopped as she followed Carp outside to the electric gate, "We had your security carrier come out as well as some technicians from CSU, they've checked this gate wire by wire, rail by rail," he told her as they both kneeled by the control box, just off the path of the driveway.

"How'd he get past it? Elliot always closed it. If anyone was guilty of leaving it open, it was always me-" her eyes went wide with fear, "Carp, no." Olivia shook her head frantically, "No, are you telling me that I forgot to close the gate when I left for work? This is my fault-"

"No," he smiled softly and rested his hand over her shoulder, "think back to that day Olivia… Elliot left to pick up Sam, he was sick, remember? Elliot would have been the last one to get home, and it seems, from both the security company's findings and CSU's that the gate was operating fine."

"Then… how did he get in?" she asked, looking around the area.

"Well," he pointed to the other side of the fence, "from what I've read, CSU found footprints on the other side of the fence."

"He couldn't have climbed it… its rod iron."

Carp stood, pushed the button to open the gate and walked to the opposite side of the gate, "He was standing here," he said pointing to the area he was in, "the evidence suggests he simply unplugged the unit," he said as he kneeled, reached through the slat in the fence and pulled the power source.

Olivia raised her brows in shock, "We're detectives and we never… we never even thought that someone could just reach through the fence and reset it themselves."

"Well, _he didn't_ reset it."

Olivia furrowed her brows, "What'd he do then?"

"Olivia," Carp exhaled and shook his head, "the crime scene… the pictures were bad. Please don't mak-"

"Tell me," she persisted, "Carp, I need to know what happened here. This is my home. My _family's_ home and my family was caught off guard and almost murdered, every single one of them." She took a step forward and cast pleading eyes his way, "Carp, please… my family is spectacular. They're important to me… I need to know."

He exhaled, "The theory is that White pulled the power source just enough to trip the alarm pad to notify Elliot that something was wrong with the gate. He was barefoot, in the cold, so… I'm assuming he didn't think it was a major problem. He probably just ran out and noticed the power source wasn't in all the way."

"So, he pushed it back in and had to reset the gate, which made it open… and White just strolled on through," she whispered and ran her hand through her hair, clearing her voice, "Alright, so… what are we thinking? Blindsided?"

"Yeah," he whispered and nodded as he walked her only feet away from the gate's control box, "I was here just a little after they started to process the scene-"

"You were?" She asked genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," he said softly, "wanted to make sure they did stuff the right way. You're my partner… wanted to make sure your home was respected. Mac and Fin were sent home, they wanted an unbiased opinion on the scene… I was able to stay because I'm in training. I observed but uh… couldn't really do much else."

"So," she rubbed the back of her neck, "why are you here _today_?"

"I've been here everyday… in my spare time, of course."

"Every day?" she furrowed her brow, "why?"

"Well… we're cleaning things up for you… trying to get your home back in order. I don't really like a bunch of strangers loitering in my partner's house, know what I mean?"

She smiled softly, "Thank you, Carp."

"No problem," he smiled and then grew grave, "My bet is that Elliot's legs were taken out first-"

Olivia winced and closed her eyes, "How do you figure?"

"Elliot's a big guy… it would have made since and when I was here… his knee imprints were still visible on the ground. The detectives all agree that the first blow was delivered here," he said waving to the ground they stood on, "Elliot's knee was probably done on the first strike… but, somehow he managed to fight back, to crawl over here," he said taking a few steps, "Elliot's blood and White's blood were found here."

"A scuffle?"

"More than likely, yes… I'm willing to bet Elliot tried to get as many licks in as possible. There was a tremendous amount of blood that produced a trail," he said softly and walked slowly along the mental line he'd memorized, "I think… for some reason, Elliot stopped crawling, right here. His blood had pooled."

"He was already tired?"

"I'm not sure why he would have stopped but… White was walking, we know because the prints were in blood, but the trail continued. I'm assuming Elliot started to crawl again but he stopped just on the steps."

"Past out from blood loss?" she whispered and swiped at a tear.

"Possibly… but the blood splatter-"

"Just say it," she said softly.

"It suggests more blows… the door was kicked in."

She furrowed her brow and looked back to the gate and then back to the front door, she hadn't even noticed it but it was a completely different door, same color just different design, "Sam locked it?"

"That's what I think… the alarm system was cut from the box so that when there was a forced entry the alarm wouldn't have sounded."

She nodded almost imperceptibly and suddenly sobbed.

"Olivia," Carp whispered and rubbed her arm softly, "we don't have to go over this stuff right now… we don't. There's no need for it-"

"No," she shook her head and bit her lip, "it's not that. It's just-"

"What? Tell me," he encouraged.

Olivia sniffled, "If the door was locked from the inside, Sam locked it… he wouldn't have locked it without Elliot telling him too, which means-"

"He heard the commotion," Carp's eyes widened and returned to the area he'd told her Elliot stopped crawling, "That's why he stopped."

"W-what?" she swallowed and wiped at he nose with the ridge of her hand.

"Elliot, must have seen Sam coming outside and told him to lock the door. That's why Elliot stopped crawling to the house… he knew if he got there. Sam would be a sitting duck."

She pulled her jacket tight around her body, "So… he let himself be beaten to save our son."

He nodded softly, "I think so, yes."

Olivia stared down at her driveway, the tinge of red still evident in the cement even though it was obvious CSU had tried desperately to clean the stain, "And Sam heard everything."

"You know what?" Carp smiled softly, "I'm starving… want to go get something to eat? My treat."

She nodded, "No. Thank you, but no. Mac told me… they found Elliot inside. Is there more?"

Carp exhaled, "Yeah, Benson, but-"

She looked at him and pleaded again, "Take me through it Carp. Take me through it. Respect me as a cop."

He nodded, a small smile, "Friggin stubborn cop… but a cop, and a good one at that," he said and walked with her up the steps to her home, "This obviously isn't the same door that went to your house, I did get to look at the other one… now, somehow Elliot managed to get keys in the door-"

"Maybe when White cut the alarm?"

"Possible… that's what I'm guessing, but according to CSU's report White's blood was found on the lining of Elliot's pant pocket-"

"White took Elliot's keys… went to unlock the door… but decided to clip the alarm first?"

"He must not have expected Sam to lock the house… I'm guessing things muddled his plan and he lost his focus, but it gave Elliot enough time to get into the house and lock the door," he told her as they walked into the foyer.

"The floors will have to be replaced," Olivia whispered to herself as she stared down at the floors that were stained with blood. Stained with a story of her past seeking to destroy her family.

"Don't worry about all that," he told her softly, "we're looking into ways to getting it removed."

She nodded and looked at the foyer wall, the patchwork that was done, "CSU took a piece of the wall?"

Carp exhaled, "There was… blood on it. They needed to test and make sure it was Elliot's. Make sure things were consistent."

She exhaled, "So… he crawled here and what?"

"Well, the door was obviously smashed in. From the blood stains it looks like Elliot tried to reach for the deadbolt but could only manage the door knob lock, but," Carp pointed to the alarm panel, "he tried to set the alarm again… my guess is he realized something was wrong with the alarm and started to crawl further into the house."

Her chin quivered as she bit her lip in an effort not to sob, "He must have been," she took in a ragged breath, "he must have been so scared for the kids."

Carp furrowed his brows and bowed his head, "You know… we all went through this house, Benson… seen things that I know you wouldn't want us too but," he pointed to the foyer cabinet, "you've got a safety gun lock on this drawer… Elliot's gun was found in you're master bedroom."

Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head, "He was telling me… begging for me to listen to him."

"About what?"

"He kept insisting he'd seen White. He told me he thought he was going crazy. I thought he was just exhausted… the years haven't been kind to us. They've been bittersweet."

Carp nodded softly, "Yet you two are the most spectacular people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting."

She smiled softly, "When were you gonna tell me you put up your house to bail me out?"

"I wasn't," he shrugged and took a few more steps into the house, "this blood trail," he said pointing to the stain, "it started to go one way, and then look at this pattern here," he said withdrawing a pen and pointing to the splotching pattern, "it switched, see the streaks?"

"Yeah," she squatted low trying desperately to keep her detective switch flipped but the reality of the situation was, she didn't know if she could handle much more of this. Much more of seeing her husband's blood stained into the floors she used to love to walk barefoot over. The same floor that they had made love to on and laughed together as their sticky skin stuck to it. "For some reason he tried to go back? Why would he do that? He knew where his gun was, why wou- the kids," she exhaled and shook her head, "he wouldn't have let White near them."

"He didn't," Carp whispered, "remember that. He kept your kids top priority, Olivia."

She shook her head and stood, "I know that somehow, that's supposed to make this easier… you know? To know that he was sacrificing his own body for their lives, but… it doesn't."

"Sure you're not hungry?"

She shoved her hand in her pocket, "No… did he ever make it down the hall?"

"No… but," he stood and pointed down the hall and led her to the nursery, "I think this is where Sam came into play… I'm not sure how in the world he got all the kids back here without White seeing him, but," he nodded to the window, "Sam is an amazing kid."

Olivia ran her hand over the window pane, over the fingerprint powder that had been left behind, "You don't have to tell me that twice… he's a Godsend."

"He's spectacular is what he is," Carp smiled and pointed to several locations on the window frame, "He worked fast, notice the cribs are empty… according to the reports Sam had all of the comforters tossed out the window… I'm guessing that's where Hannah sustained her break. Sam was too small to lower her the entire way."

Olivia ran her finger over a smaller hand print than the one Carp had pointed out, "Isaac?"

"Looks that way, Sam apparently lowered him and probably Solomon out here too, now, see this smudge?"

"Yeah."

"I over heard the detectives speculating that this was probably where Sam was grabbed by White."

"How do we know he was grabbed? Maybe he tried to get back to his father and White got a hold of him?"

Carp nodded softly, "I know that would make it a little easier to bare but… CSU found one of Sam's fingernails on the pane… he was holding on for dear life."

"He must have heard his father being beaten."

"I think so," Carp said softly, "the blood in the living room is a good indication that that is where a lot of the attack took place, for Sam and Elliot."

"Sam," she repeated softly, "he's been through so much in nine years. We wanted to give him a good home," she cried, "and look what we've done to him… put him in the middle of chaos."

"He's spectacular… he'll survive this and be strong, just like you and Elliot are."

She nodded in frustration, "Carp," she pulled out a folded wad of papers from her jacket, "I went down to the jail to see how much money I was gonna owe you for posting my bail. Why'd you do it?"

"Come on Benson," he groaned, "just accept it. We're partners. I did what I did because that's what partners do."

"Why didn't you tell me you're middle name was Spectacular?"

He chuckled, "You couldn't accept my first name, there was no way I was letting you know my middle name… how'd you find out anyway?"

She unfolded the paperwork, "Seems I owe Carpedium S. Stratus a lot of money if I don't show up to court… I figured out what the 'S' stood for… you're pretty spectacular… for doing the things you do, you know that?"

He exhaled rubbed her shoulder, "You're spectacular too. A little rough on us boys, but uh, Sam has got a good role model."

"You said… spectacular was for the ones that were destined to be. Who couldn't fight for themselves… what's your story, Carp?"

He exhaled, "Now's not the time… you want to go get a hotdog?"

She nodded, "No… I don't know if I can pay you back soon. I don't know what kind of money we'll have coming in."

He shrugged, "Just show up to court so my mom doesn't loose her house and you and I will be even… if you decide to pay you will. I'm not worried."

She exhaled, "Thank you."

"Not a problem," he said and led her back out of the nursery and into the master bedroom, "Uh… a lot of people were in here, I'm sorry."

"Its okay" she assured him and walked in behind him, "what exactly happened in here?"

"Well… nothing, I don't think."

"So… why are we in here?"

"Wet foot prints were found exiting the bathroom, tiny wet foot prints."

"Isaac? Why wet?"

Carp shrugged, "I was hoping you could piece it together… they sort of got pissed at me and tossed me out."

"Pissed?" she furrowed her brow, "Why?"

Uncontrollably, his eyes darted to the wall before looking back at her and blushing, "Uh… I told them they were jerks and should focus on the crime… not the pictures."

"Pictures?" Olivia asked and suddenly locked her gaze where is hand bounced, "Oh," she whispered, "Where is it?" she asked referring to the photograph she'd posed for, for Elliot's Christmas present.

"Uh… I put it in your closet, they were, uh, they-"

"Were acting like male cops. Its okay, Carp. The picture… it wasn't revealing."

"They kept starring at it so I took it down."

"Thank you," she smiled softly and slowly made her way into the bathroom. She closed her eyes and smiled as the scent of Elliot's aftershave hit her senses. She remembered the first time they'd made love here, her pushing him to the sink, him pushing her to the wall. It was a competition to see who would come first. She'd lost, but ultimately did him in at the end.

Olivia exhaled and opened her eyes, "Hide and seek."

"Excuse me?"

Olivia smiled and rested her hands on the shower door, "Isaac loves to play hide-n-seek or peek-a-boo, problem is… he always hides in the same exact spot."

"Which is?"

Olivia smirked, "The shower, it has a little bit of a leaky faucet. I think that's why the foot prints were wet… the first time he'd done it, he was so quiet and Elliot and I were frantic, we thought maybe he'd wondered off outside, twenty minutes later we stumbled onto him… he'd fallen asleep sitting in the shower. He was wet."

"So… you think this is where Sam hid Isaac until he could get him outside?"

Olivia rested her forehead against the cool shower door, "Sam would have known that it was a sure way to keep Isaac quiet."

"How do you know?"

"I just do," she whispered.

"Okay," Carp nodded, "okay… it works. Maybe he put the babies in here too?"

Olivia smiled softly, "Maybe… maybe he's my angle. Maybe he's my hero."

Carp nodded, "Did you… want to look at the rest?"

She straightened herself, "Yeah, yeah… I need to. I need to know what Elliot went through that night. What the kids must have went through."

"Okay," he agreed and led her back through the house.

She gasped at the large stain of what she knew was Elliot's blood in the center of the living room, "He-he-Geeze, how did he survive this?"

Carp smirked, "If he's anywhere near as stubborn as you are… that probably helped him out… looks like White tied him up on a chair and somehow got Sam here, now CSU found a nail gun which had Sam's fingerprints, Elliot's fingerprints and White's prints as well, they also found what looked like building material… know anything about that?"

She smirked, "Elliot wasn't supposed to be letting Sam play with the nail gun."

"Well, I think that nail gun saved their life."

"Really?"

"Look," he said and pointed up to the ceiling, "see those holes?"

"Yeah?"

"Stray nails that CSU extracted."

"Nails?"

"Yep… according to angle the person who shot them was on his back."

"Well," she walked around trying to place herself into the scenes, "if Elliot is tied on a chair… why would White shoot the ceiling? Why not shoot the victim?"

"Unless _another _victim was shooting White?"

"Sam?" she furrowed her brow and looked back up at the ceiling.

"Makes since doesn't it? A big guy like Richard… if Elliot was the shooter, he would have aimed or at least shot at the target, but… someone who can't see, someone who's going by a sound of a voice, will just pull the trigger in the general direction."

The sob escaped her as she shook her head, "He's got to be playing this over and over in his mind… that he hurt someone. He won't understand that it was okay. That he saved his dad by doing it."

"Well," Carp exhaled, "you've got time to tell him. To work it out with him."

She nodded, "So… how many nails were actually spent?"

"Uh," he closed one eye trying to access his memory, "if I remember correctly, Sam shot White about eight times with four nails not hitting his intended target, but once Sam was out of the house and running… it looks like, that's when Richard turned the nail gun on Elliot… the two to his, uh, his-"

"I know," she whispered, "Fin told me."

"Fin tell you he shot White?"

"Two to the shoulder."

"Should have been one to the brain if you ask me."

Olivia bit her bottom lip, "He said White had raised the nail gun to Mac and that's why he shot."

"Yeah, looks like White, after he thought Elliot was done, went out looking for the kids, that's when Tripod got a hold of him."

"Didn't Zeus as well?"

"Yeah, here from what the k-9 commander was speculating. Sam's fingerprints are allover the wall and the sliding door… he was looking for it. Looks like once he opened it Zeus attacked."

Olivia nodded, "Good dog."

"He was. He'll be again."

"I should go see him."

"I don't think he minds staying at Mac's. Mac eats well; you know he's feeding the dog too."

"Yeah," Olivia folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes at the floor, "this hole from a nail?" she asked pointing to it with the tip of her shoe.

He winced, "Yeah… yeah, uh that's the one that went through his,uh-"

"Then this is probably the knife?" she asked pointing in the same manner to another indention on the floor.

"Yeah. Doctors say anything about his hand?"

"Could be nerve damage… could be fine, hard to say right now."

"My mom is cooking roast beef tomorrow; you should come by for dinner."

She chuckled bitterly, "I've got four kids, Carp. I can't keep strapping Alex and Robert with them."

"Then bring them on by… it'll do you good."

"You sure your mom wants four little ones screaming at her kitchen table?"

"She'll love it."

She smiled faintly, "I'll think about it. I want to see how Elliot is doing first. Maybe spend some time with the boys and Hannah, go to the park. I haven't been much of a mom lately."

"You've been a grieving mom and mother… its okay."

She worried her bottom lip and let her eyes roam around her home, "I miss my husband."

"I'm sure he misses you too," he moved to give her a friendly hug when his cell phone rang. He quickly answered it and Olivia watched the color drain from his face before he hung up and swallowed. His eyes locking on hers.

"What?"

He furrowed his brow, "White was murdered."

Olivia blinked slowly and let his words wash over her, a delicious feeling of relief and happiness as the corners of her mouth turned upwards, "Good."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Before you ask," Olivia smiled down at her husband as she placed a bundle of blue daisies in a vase and kissed his cheek, "I brought you flowers… yep a little role reversal, huh?" she chuckled, "Want to know _why_ I brought you flowers?" she asked and laced her fingers with his, "'Cause I have good news for you... El," she kissed his hand, "this is where you wake up and ask me what it is… not taking the bait?" She kissed his hand again, "Maybe I shouldn't be happy about this, maybe it's wrong that I am, I don't know, but… White is dead," she whispered and before she could say anything else his fingers tightened around hers.

_Liv_

She let out a sob and stared down at his hand until the strength left and his fingers became limp against hers again, "See, El," she whispered, "you're getting stronger. You've just got to wake up baby."

"I'm a little early today, I know," she whispered, "Uh; Carp invited me to his mother's house for dinner… I'm taking the kids. I think, hopefully it'll do them some good to get out and do something. Sam is still so quiet and Isaac is slowly getting quieter… it's so quiet now, El," she cried, "I just want to talk with you. Please wake up. I want to hear your voice. I'm starting to worry I'll forget how it sounds, so, in the mornings, I call your voicemail just to remind myself."

"Elliot," she shook her head against his hand, "please wake up."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You must be Olivia Benson," Carp's mother grinned as she opened the door.

Olivia offered her the strongest smile she could as she cradled Solomon in her arms and Hannah in the baby vest, "Yes," she nodded and pointed down to Isaac who held her hand, "My son, Isaac and-"

"This must be young Samuel," the lady who was oddly young to have Carp as a son, said as Sam adjusted his glasses and leaned into his mother, "You're every bit as spectacular as Carp said you were."

"He's… a little shy, tonight," Olivia informed her, "These little guys are Solomon and Hannah."

"Well, I'm Susan Bautista," she smiled softly, "please come in."

"I'm sorry," Olivia blushed, "Uh, can I put them down somewhere? I'm not use to handling them both on my own… my husband…. My husband-"

"All taken care of," Carp smiled and finally made himself known, "let me see one of those little guys," he grinned, "come on, we'll put them down and let you get some food in you."

Carefully, "Olivia led both her boys into the unfamiliar home guiding and directing Sam so he wouldn't trip or bump into anything, "Can I leave you alone for only five minutes so I can put Hannah to sleep? Or would you like to follow me?"

He held his hand out to her and she let him follow her through the house surprised to see Carp already covering Solomon, they placed Hannah next her brother and blocked them in with pillows. "Thanks Carp… you have no idea how much I needed to just get away from everything."

"That's what partners do, right?"

She smiled, still didn't have the heart to tell him that they probably would never work another case together, "Right."

"Let's eat." He grinned.

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Isaac lay sleeping on the couch, Sam slept on Olivia's lap, unwilling to move around in the unfamiliar home with the new voice he didn't know. Olivia had offered him some of her food knowing he wouldn't eat his own. He'd declined and rested his head on her shoulder opting for sleep.

"He's an adorable little boy," Susan smiled.

"He brings me a lot of joy," Olivia smiled and kissed his head, "and that little monkey," she smiled and pointed to Isaac, "Brings a lot of laughs."

"Carp had the biggest head imaginable," Susan blurted.

"Mom!" Carp groaned, "Come on, not this story again."

"I tell you," she laughed, "I thought I was giving birth to an elephant, but then they put this beautiful little boy on my chest and it was love at first sight."

Carp moaned, "I'm clearing the plates. I will not tolerate such blatant disrespect."

"Sure you will," Susan teased as he gave her a peck on the cheek, "you'll not just tolerate it, you'll embrace it and beg for more."

Olivia smiled, "Gee Carp, harassed at work, harassed at home… hard life, buddy."

He rolled his eyes, "Well, my mom is pretty amazing so she gets to tell all of these embarrassing stories… that way I'll never ever bring home any dating prospects."

"Well what about that Aimee woman?"

"Oh, mom… don't," he pleaded, "Benson will never let me live it down."

Susan smiled as he continued to clear the table, "He'd come for a visit about three months ago, fell head over heals in love with this worker at the toll booth."

"Really?" Olivia smirked, "Carp in love? Doesn't sound right."

"I heard that!" He bellowed from the kitchen.

Susan exhaled, "Well, we'll never know."

"Why's that?" Olivia tilted her head.

"Carp's got no guts when it comes to girls. I swear, at this rate I'll never have grandbabies."

"Mom!" Carp protested as he began to run water in the sink, "she's here to relax not to hear these ridiculous sob stories."

Olivia smiled, "Oh believe me Carp," she chuckled, and it felt good to have a genuine laugh, "I'm enjoying this _very_ much."

"Figured you would," he hollered from the kitchen and continued his chore.

"Can I ask you something?" Olivia smiled softly, "And it's totally none of my business but-"

"Why Carpedium?" Susan finished Olivia's question.

Olivia blushed and had the grace to look down, "I'm sorry; I wasn't trying to be rude. You must get asked that a lot."

She smiled, "Yes I do. Most people think his mother was some hippie freak that smoked too much pot." She grinned, "While I assure you I've had a joint or two in my life, I wasn't really a hippie. Most think his name is ridiculous because they don't understand the message or the meaning behind it."

Olivia licked her lips, "I asked him… he dodges it."

Susan smiled again, "Carp doesn't think it's _his_ story to tell, even though it is. He hasn't grown into that part of his life yet. Generally, I answer the question freely if people ask and he doesn't mind but I don't think he's ever explained it himself to anyone… I think, to some extent his life haunts him."

"Haunts?"

Susan bowed her head and took a sip of her remaining tea as Olivia shifted Sam in her lap and softly stroked his back, "I was seventeen years old when I got pregnant with Carp. I was scared out of my mind, my parents wanted me to get an abortion, but that's never been an option for me."

Olivia nodded, not exactly sure what to make of this conversation, "You chose to keep him."

Susan smiled, "Well… not exactly."

"The stress of being a teen mother… I think it would have been understandable."

"Olivia," she said softly, "it wasn't about me experimenting as a youth and ending up pregnant. Quite the contrary, in fact I was driving home from high school when I'd gotten a flat tire on the freeway. I had an after school job and was desperate to get home," she said before taking a deep breath, "I didn't know, until it was happening to me, that women can be raped in the middle of the day."

Olivia's eyes went wide, her mouth fell open and she immediately looked through the open door at Carp as he wiped down the counters in his mother's kitchen and finished drying the dishes, "Carp is-"

"I hitchhiked… got into the wrong vehicle and was raped. Carp was a result of that rape."

Olivia felt her eyes tear up, felt her heart constrict, "He never said a word, just said he was at SVU for personal reasons."

She smirked, "He likes to hide behind it. Some days, he's on top of the world and some days he's not quite at the peek. Some times he seems content with himself and sometimes he seems like a one man military that wants to take on the world and rid our society of rapists."

Olivia shook her head, "I didn't know."

"He knows… about you."

Olivia looked up sharply and took a deep breath, "Really?"

"Yeah, came home one day and told me he'd asked around, that's Carp… his curiosity is obnoxious sometimes," she smiled, "But I'm not sure if he'd read it or heard about it or what, but it solidified his decision to stay at SVU."

"He wanted to leave?"

"He called me after the first day, said he didn't feel like he fit, he was heart broken… he's wanted into that unit for so long. I told him to give it another day, and he did and I believe that's when he found out."

Olivia nodded and kissed Sam's hair letting her lips linger there, "Do you ever regret bringing him into the world?"

Susan exhaled, "The only thing I ever regret is not enjoying my pregnancy. They laid Carp down on my chest and I fell in love. It didn't matter who his father was, it didn't matter that I was a basket case. He looked up at me through cloudy eyes and the first thing that flew through my mind was to cease the day. Cease that moment and every moment after that with him. Carp is an amazing man, any woman would be lucky to have him," she chuckled and leaned forward, "So… if you know any available women, he knows how to cook, he'll clean up, he manages his money well and he's very intelligent."

Olivia laughed, "I'll keep my eyes peeled."

"How is your husband?"

"He's… he's… still in the hospital," Olivia whispered, "But, today he squeezed my hand… he'll come back to me."

"That's spectacular."

Olivia grinned, "Can I ask why you gave him that for a middle name?"

Susan licked her lips and rested her forearms against the table, "Sure, you obviously know what his first name stands for but his middle name, well I knew that what God had given me was something amazing… something spectacular. But I also knew, that the way in which Carp came into existence would make for a rough life, so I chose something to remind me of what he is, of what God formed him to be, spectacular, and I knew if I truly followed God, if I truly tried to raise Carp well and ceased every moment I could, that God would get me through and I would raise Carp to be spectacular, and he is."

Olivia wiped the moisture from her eyes, "Wow… now I feel bad for teasing him about his name."

"Don't," Susan laughed, "he's very much used to it. Carp is special, he doesn't bare my last name or the last name of his father, whoever he is, Carp bares his own last name, Stratus."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Can I ask why?"

"Stratus means low grey cloud… some people associate clouds with depression and all of that nonsense, but what people always fail to remember was that when the Israelites left Pharaoh's control… they followed a cloud. God. Carp is going to be a spectacular person and his children will look up to him and follow him. I wanted him to always know that. To never doubt himself. Besides, Carpedium Bautista is just wrong."

Olivia laughed softly, "I didn't know Carp was into God."

Susan's smile fell, "He's not. When he was just a little boy he loved it. God was his world, but when I told him about his father, he pulled away. I know he believes in God, but that rift never seemed to heal… so I pray."

"How long have you prayed?"

"Fifteen years… he'll come back one day."

Olivia nodded and looked down at her sleeping son, "My little one," she shook her head, "He taught me so much about God. We memorized Psalms together and he'd wake me up from naps so I could read to him bible stories and things like that, but," she exhaled and released a tear, "with everything that's happened, he's pulled away from God and I don't know how to get him back."

Susan smiled gently, "Carp told me about this woman who told him to fight for his patch of grass."

Olivia looked up and saw within Susan's eyes that she knew that woman was Olivia, "If Sam's not fighting for his grass… you need to fight for him, and one day, you'll wake up-"

"In an oasis."

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"Hey Sammy," Crystal smiled and fell into stride next to him. "Still quiet? That's cool. You're mom called my mom a few times. Mom told me your heart is sad."

Sam exhaled and stopped walking; he cocked his ear to her but didn't respond.

"Come on Sammy, let's sit on a bench, Tiffany and Carolyn aren't here to sing those stupid kissing songs… that are gross," she smiled and softly took his hand. Her mother had warned her about touching him too fast but she knew somewhere deep within, that Sam would never shy away form her touch and he didn't.

Crystal led him to the bench and sat next to him, "When are you getting your stitches out?" He raised his hand to indicate one day, she nodded, "I had stitches once, Tippy bit me. Stupid dog."

Sam smiled and let his feet dangle. She went to move her hand from his and he squeezed it gently, asking her silently, to not let go, and she didn't, "You know," she exhaled, "if Carolyn sees you touching me all mushy like this, you and me will be teased until we get to eight grade."

Sam shrugged and let the gentle breeze caress his face as he remained silent with the touch a friend.

Crystal giggled, "Sammy, I already told you… I'm not a mind reader. What are you thinking? Why won't you talk again? I know your mouth isn't broken… why are you quiet? I haven't seen you in so long. I think you're really far behind on your homework… why are you quiet?"

He exhaled and squeezed her hand again, "I broke my mom's heart."

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_Fifteen Days_

_Nine-hundred hours. _

"Before you ask," Olivia smiled, "Sam started back to school today, and I'm a little nervous for him. He still hasn't said anything since he came to visit you. Mag's came to talk to him and he walked away from her and crawled into the bed. Hannah is with Alex, I think she likes the practice of having an infant in the house and Isaac is paling around with Casey and Addison. She's getting so strong Elliot. She looks peaceful and she and Addison are doing so well. Paul says she gets stronger everyday and that she spends a lot of alone time with Addison, he's responding so well to her. It's good to see."

Olivia traced his bearded cheek, "This beard must be driving you nuts," she chuckled, "I brought someone to see you, but I wanted to talk to you for a little while. Is that okay?" she whispered and perched herself on Elliot's bed after lowering the rail. She leaned back, draped her arm over the pillow and kissed his temple, "Have I told you lately how incredibly sexy you are?" she smiled and rested her hand on his abdomen, "I see they finally got you in a gown, huh… bought time… I could hear you're thoughts, ranting and raving that it was a freezer in here."

_It is._

Olivia touched his face softly and kissed his brow, "I've been keeping a journal at home. Nothing fancy, just, keeping track of some of the stuff you've missed. It's March already Elliot and you should see how beautiful it is outside," she whispered. "The babies are getting so big. Solomon is such a barrel of laughs and he's mastered the Stabler smirk. Hannah is definitely the straight faced one between the two… oh, Carp brought me the mail from our house and the boys' name changes came in. I didn't tell Sam though…I wanted to wait until you could. Which should be any day, right?" She smiled sadly, "it's been fifteen days, Elliot. Please, just… open your eyes, just once. Just let me know you're there."

"The doctor's said they'll probably be able to remove the tube in your head maybe tomorrow but at the max, the end of the week. That's a good thing, right? That means your swelling has gone down and then you can work on getting this breathing tube out of you and then you can wake up and come home… you'll come home, right?"

She bit her bottom lip and cried softly, "I pile all of the kids in bed with me so I don't roll over and feel an empty space. It makes me wake up when there's nothing there and to be honest, I haven't slept very well." She exhaled, "I wish Calvin would hurry up and get a deal out of this weasel ADA or go to trial. I don't like it hanging over me."

"Cragen visited with me a little bit today, said IA finished up their investigation and it's a matter of paperwork. Hasn't told me if I'm officially fired but, uh… doesn't really take a rocket scientist does it?" she snickered. "I'm sorry I was a little late today, I took Casey out for lunch. Now, I know we promised her dinner but I needed to take care of some paperwork today and that was the only time I could get it in… she told me to tell you thank you."

Olivia wrapped his arm around her waist and rubbed his knuckles softly with her hand as she carefully rested her head against his shoulder, "Am I hurting you?" she whispered, "'cause if I am… you're gonna have to wake up and tell me. Maybe that will motivate you?" she chuckled, "But I don't know... I've offered you a sexy dance, your personal serenade, brilliant cooking and everything else I can think of and you're holding out on me. But that's okay," she whispered, "Rest. I know your just resting. Resting, which means you'll come back when you're done resting. You'll come back to me," she wiped at her tears and kissed him through his gown.

"Last night," she whispered, "I wanted to make love to you and you weren't there. I wanted your arms around me and I couldn't feel you. I wanted you over me and I couldn't smell you. I just… I wanted you and you weren't there and that just made this all so much more real to me."

She rested in his limp embrace, the sound of the breathing machine and monitors almost lulling her to sleep until she caught the time on the clock and gently slipped off of the bed, "I thought," she said over her shoulder as she picked Solomon up from his car seat, "I thought you might like to hold Solomon… feel how humongous this little guy is," she smiled and gently stretched out next to Elliot again, careful of tubes, lines, metal rods and every other thing that was holding Elliot together.

She pushed herself close to him, and rested a sleeping Solomon on the crevice that their bodies formed, "He's gained weight hasn't he?" she smiled. "He's permanently attached to my breast," she teased as the two men slept next to her, "I hope he doesn't turn out to be obsessed with boobs like you," she chuckled and lightly ran her finger under Elliot's chin.

"El?" she exhaled, "I have to tell you something and I don't know how you're gonna feel about it but, well, I made a decision to sell the apartment… it's on the market as of last week. I didn't want you to be upset with me… I told the tenants they were more than welcome to move into the loft which is actually bigger. They loved the idea, but I'm keeping the rent the same. I think that's fair, since we're sort of being a huge inconvenience to them. Are you upset? If you are, you'd better wake up and yell at me. Scold me. Shake your finger at me… something. Anything?" She whispered and watched his heart monitor increase slightly, "Why do you do that?" she whispered through a small smile, "What are you trying to tell me? I know your trying to tell me something… open your eyes and tell me. Please?"

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"Olivia?" Alex called as she kicked the door shut behind her with her heal, "Olivia? You here?"

"Here," she called walking down the hallway as she breast fed Hannah.

"Wow… she's not wanting a bottle?" Alex smiled.

"I swear," Olivia laughed, "this is the pickiest little girl I have ever seen. Got half way through a bottle and cried until I tried this."

Alex laughed softly. Unsteadily.

"What?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "why do you look like that?"

She exhaled, "Calvin called me on my way home from work."

"And?"

"Robert will be here in a few minutes, Cragen wants to see you before you meet with the attorneys."

"Attorneys?"

"There's an offer on the table."

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"Sir?" Olivia knocked softly on the door, "you wanted to see me?"

"Olivia," Don smiled and motioned for her to take a seat, "how are you?"

"Uh… you called me into your office. My job has been pending. I'm nervous."

He exhaled and took a seat, "I.A had finished their paperwork a few days ago."

"Why didn't you tell me as soon as they had? Why did you wait?"

He leaned back in his chair, "I didn't agree with their decision… I wanted to talk to a few people, call in a few favors, but, I'm sorry Olivia, I'm out of options."

Olivia shook her head almost imperceptibly, "You firing me Captain?"

He swallowed surprised that his eyes were filling with tears, "You're a damn good cop-"

"But?"

He shook his head, "Olivia, I talked to every member of the Morris Commission, I've explained the whole situation. I thought of everything I could do, I even pointed out that I.A determined there wasn't a gun-"

"But?" she whispered in shock. She had expected that she'd be fired but that didn't mean she was ready for it.

"They think you're a liability to the force. With everything that has happened, the force has been put through the ringer… their words, not mine. If I had it my way, I'd give you your badge and gun right now and suction your butt at your desk but… I can't."

Olivia closed her eyes in an effort to hold back the tears, "Okay," she managed to choke out as he slid a file over to her, "I just, I need your signature on a few things."

She swallowed, furrowed her brows, "What?"

"This is just… human resource stuff, they're gonna pay out what you've put into you're retirement, they'll pay out the balance of your accrued vacation and sick time."

Her hand had never been as heavy as it was in that moment when she painstakingly penned her name of her own termination papers.

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Olivia walked out of the one six precinct for the first time, not a cop and knowing she'd always be referred to as the cop that got fired. She stood, shocked, on the steps as people rushed around her going to their destinations. Meetings here, interrogations there. Things she'd never do again.

"Olivia?" Alex whispered and wrapped her arm around her shoulder, "Not good, huh?"

Slowly, Olivia looked up at Alex with tears in her eyes, "I don't know how to be anything else."

Alex wrapped her embrace tighter, "Yes you do. You know how to be a great mother."

"I've always been a cop. It's what I know. It's what I do," she cried.

"But it's not necessarily all that you are," Alex assured her and pulled back, "Come on… let's go talk to the attorneys."

"You already know what the deal is don't you?" Olivia asked as she wiped her tears.

"Yes, but, Calvin is your registered representation, the offer has to come from him. I'm sorry."

Olivia exhaled, "Well, I just lost my job. Let's see if I can't get my self locked up."

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"How long?" Olivia asked Calvin who sat across the desk from her and Alex.

"One year, a little less with good behavior."

"One year!" Olivia barked, "Are you out of your mind!"

"You can never own or possess a firearm," Calvin continued but was quickly cut off.

"I'm not doing a year!" she protested hotly.

Calvin snapped, "Look! I know you were screwed on this, alright, but the situation is that this is as low as they're going. So you take the offer or you go to trial where you're going to face a hell of a lot more time. Hard time, and you're a cop. Look at your face for crying out loud!" he barked, "They beat you badly enough that your face is still cut up from two weeks ago!"

Olivia slammed her hands on the desk, "I know what they did to me!" she yelled, "I was there when they held me down to rip my clothes off, so don't read me the damn riot act!" she yelled as Alex's phone rang. Olivia stood to her feet, "When did I become the bad guy, huh? Tell me! My family was almost murdered by some psycho and I'm the one getting screwed!"

"You beat him while he was handcuffed, Mrs. Stabler," Calvin said firmly, "You're prints are all over the bed rails. His blood was under your fingernails! For crying out loud, you shoved your hand in his bullet wound!"

"He deserved it!"

Calvin exhaled, "He may have deserved it, but it doesn't mean that you can waltz in and take justice into your own hands."

Olivia's eyes went wide, "Justice?" she croacked, "Justice?... don't get me started."

"It's not assault with a deadly weapon… this is a good deal."

"I want a trial."

"Can your family handle a trial?" he asked peering over his glasses, "You're husband is lying in the hospital and who knows if he's gonna wake up,"

"You don't know!" She snapped, "You don't know!"

"I know the law! I know prosecutors and attorneys! You've had two kills!"

"Self defense!" Olivia yelled.

Calvin exhaled, "The jury won't see it that way. The prosecutor is gonna paint you as a heartless killer, who was seeking revenge."

"I'll take my chances," Olivia said running her hand through her hair.

"Olivia," Alex tried to interject.

"I lost my job!" Olivia yelled, "I almost lost my children and I'm fighting like crazy not to loose my husband and my mind! I'm not giving up my personal freedom for a year because White got what he deserved!""

Alex raised her voice over hers, "Elliot is awake!"

Olivia stilled instantly, "What?"

Alex looked down, "Elliot is awake. He's asking for you, remember that when Calvin asks you if you want the deal again."

"Do you Olivia?" He asked with raised brows, "It means you see your husband, your children."

"Elliot's awake?"

"Yes… I'll take you to him right now, if you just do the logical thing and take this deal. Can your family handle another trial? Elliot needs you right now… your children need you. This isn't about your right now and this deal is as good as it gets."

Olivia bowed her head and took a long slow breath, "One year?"

"One year," Calvin repeated.

Olivia nodded and looked up, "Where do I sign?"

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Olivia tightened her jacket around her waist and slowly negotiated the steps to the sidewalk, "Thank you, Alex," Olivia whispered, "I know I was pretty hard headed in there. I just… I dunno, I don't think I'm a perp, but maybe… I am."

Alex said nothing and instead stopped walking and waited for Olivia to turn to face her, "Olivi-"

"What? Why are you looking at me like you have bad news?" Olivia asked, visibly bracing herself.

"My cousin," Alex whispered.

"What? What about your cousin?" Olivia responded in confusion.

Alex exhaled and withdrew her hands from her pockets, "That's who called me while you were talking to Calvin… it wasn't the hospital."

Olivia's eyes swelled with tears, "No," she shook her head as the corners of her mouth curved downwards, "You said," she sniffled and wiped at her tears that fell, "he was awake… why would you tell me that, Alex?"

"You weren't gonna take the deal… you needed to take the deal. It's the only thing I could think of at the time to force your hand," she swallowed hard, "I'm so sorry, Olivia."

Olivia stared in shock and slowly lowered herself to the street curb where she sat with her arms tightly around her waist staving off the nausea, "Why would you say that?"

"Olivia," Alex said softy and sat next to her, "I'm so sorry… but you had to take that deal. There was no room for your pride or for what you felt was fair."

Olivia sobbed, bowing her head, "I thought… I thought he was awake."

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered and wrapped her arm around Olivia's shoulders pulling her close to her, "I'm so sorry I set you up to hurt."

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's waist and sobbed relentlessly.

Inconsolably.

Uncontrollably.

"I thought, he was awake," she whispered, several minutes after she had nothing else to cry, "and for a minute, I felt happy. I felt like we were gonna pull through this," she confessed.

"You will," Alex whispered, "I promise, you will."

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"Before you ask," she said softly and kissed his cheek, "I know I missed a visit but, I was getting fitted with this nifty little tracking device on my ankle," she chuckled and raised her leg as if he could see it. "Its official Elliot, you're wife is on probation for a year," she smiled and nestled in close to him, "They gave me the bracelet, but I only have to wear it for six months and if I'm good It'll come off. I think it's overkill myself," she kissed his shoulder through his gown, "I won't be pulling off heels for awhile."

Olivia exhaled, "So, with that said," she began to cry softly, "I guess you know I'm not a cop anymore. Can't ever possess a firearm, I have to meet with my probation officer every week, and by the way he weighs about four-hundred pounds and smells like cat pee. His office is horrendous. I think I have to wear this ankle bracelet just so he can find me in that mess," she whispered and brought his hand around her waist holding it against her body.

"I either have to get a job or go to school. He has to come to the house once a month to make sure everything is in order… I actually haven't been to the house since I talked with Carp and he took me… through… what happened," she shook her head, "El, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, baby. I'm sorry this happened to you and I swear, just work on getting this tube out of you and I'll do anything you want. Anything you need, I'll move any where you want to go, I'll sing anything you want, I'll do anything, just please open your eyes and look at me. Just once."

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"Mama!" Isaac giggled and threw himself into her legs as she read on the couch of Alex's home.

"Hey, monkey," she smiled in exhaustion and ran her hand through his short hair, "it's the middle of the night. What are you doing up?"

"Where Daddy?" he asked with palms out as he scrunched his naked shoulders.

She smiled softly and pulled him into her lap, "He'll be home soon," she whispered, "he's taking an extra long nap."

He furrowed his brow and growled low, "No nappies. Want Daddy."

She grinned, "So it's _Daddy_ now? No more Dada?"

"Where Daddy? Daddy go bye bye?" he asked as he waved his hand in the air.

"For a little while more," she told him softly, "but he'll be home soon."

Isaac exhaled in disappointment and rested his chin on her shoulder, "Me sad."

"Sad?" she asked softly and stroked his back, "Why?"

He pulled back and sat on her thighs shaking his head, "No daddy. No fun."

"Hey," she teased and rested her forehead against his, "I can be fun."

"Mama sad. Sam Sam sad. Me sad," he told her, "Sam Sam, no talkies."

"Sam has had a really super hard time with this, huh?"

"Bro sad. No talkies. Cry."

"He cries?"

Isaac pointed over her shoulder to the spare room they all shared, "Sam Sam wakies. Cry."

"He's crying now?"

Isaac shook his head and yawned before resting on her shoulder again, "Sad."

Olivia lightly stroked his back with her fingertips and kissed his head, "Sleep baby," she whispered, "it's late."

He nestled closer, "Nigh nigh"

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Olivia carefully perched herself on the side of the bed, Hannah and Solomon flanked by Sam and pillows. Sam's body shook as he cried holding his legs to his chest his back to her. She stretched out alongside of him and pulled him close to her body, "It's okay to be upset," she whispered and kissed his cheek softly, "but, can you tell my why you're so upset? Why you don't want to talk anymore?"

He turned in her embrace and held tight to her, "Did you have a good time at school today?" she asked softly and received no answer. "Sam," she ran her hand through his shaggy Mohawk, "I went to the house a few days ago and did you know that me and another cop went through the house and I know what happened, honey… you did so good-"

He shook his head and frantically tried to get away from her. She held him tightly, "Shh," she soothed and held his body close, "the babies are very close to you. Please don't hurt them."

He sobbed into and quickly fought for his freedom, sliding off of the bed and feeling to reach the wall, where he quickly followed it's path and huddled himself into the corner weeping into his knees. Olivia scrubbed her hands over her tired face and left the bed, sitting softly next to him, "Want to see whose butt goes numb first?" she asked softly to which he shook his head no.

"Come here, honey," she told him softly and pulled his reluctant body to her lap. She cupped his face softly a small kiss at the corner of his mouth, "talk to me."

He sobbed harder and rested against her, her arms wrapped tight around him until, just as it had been almost every night since the attacks, he fell asleep against her.

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Sam hadn't said a word, although he'd woken up two more times through the night. Frantic. Sobbing and gasping for air. Nightmare. She'd pressed her lips against his temple and kept them there as she rocked him back into sleep. Four O'clock in the morning reared its ugly head and Olivia found herself jolting awake to an unfamiliar sound and feeling blindly for the source until she picked up the cell phone, "Liv," she grumbled through sleep, "this better be good, you woke me up."

"Mrs. Stabler?"

Olivia sat straight up in bed recognizing Daniela's voice, "How is he? What happened?"

"He's doing very well, I just came onto the shift and they are removing his breathing tube… he started breathing on his own."

Olivia exhaled loudly and began to cry in relief, "When can I see him?"

"Well, if you want, you can come at the same time you normally do, but we're taking him to his own room now. He'll still be on our floor, but it'll be just a bit more private for him and you can bring the kids if you'd like."

"Can he handle all of that?" Olivia croaked through sleep, "Will it over tax his system?"

"No, I don't think so, but if you're more comfortable bringing one at a time like you've been doing that's fine as well."

"Can I come now?" she asked.

"Well, visiting hours aren't until eight, but… I suppose I can look away," she chuckled lightly, "He's breathing on his own, Olivia. This is a very good sign."

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"Before you ask me anything," Olivia smiled and sobbed all at once as she framed Elliot's face, "I want to kiss you," she said and gently pressed her lips to his. She felt his lips against hers for the first time since this whole messed had occurred and in spite of chapped lips it was like coming home. She cried against him, resting her forehead against his, "you look so much better without that tube," she said softly and stretched out next to him, "Alex is good to us El. She's watching the kids right now. I told her that I'd just come and see you for awhile right now, just to see it with my own eyes. But, I wanted to bring Isaac with me this afternoon… would you like to see him?" she asked softly as she laced her hand with his. "This nurse called me so early and I have this new cell phone since I had to turn in my work phone. It's got this ridiculous ring to it and I couldn't recognize it at first," she chuckled, "I think the song is Barbie Girl… drives me nuts."

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asked, running her finger over his chapped lips and kissing his cheek, "it's kind of embarrassing for me," she confessed and rested her head on his shoulder, taking his hand and lowering it to her waist. "Last night, I couldn't sleep," she whispered, "and I was thinking of you," she said, "of that time we made love in the dressing room." She felt herself blush in the privacy of her husband's room, "I think I might have gotten carried away with my thoughts because… I wanted you. I wanted to make love to you last night and before I knew it, uh," she smiled and lowered her lips to his ear, "I was thinking about you and I was touching myself."

_Good! I wish I was there to touch you._

She kissed his neck softly, "I let myself come, Elliot. Please don't be upset, I just," she shrugged lazily, "I, uh, wanted to feel something other than this sadness I can't shake but… it wasn't you," she said softly, "it's never as good as you," she confessed and smiled feeling his fingertips tighten against the flesh of her waist.

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"You are so fat!" Casey laughed and pointed at Alex's bulging belly.

Alex rolled her eyes, "You know?" she laughed and rubbed her swollen belly, "You and Olivia weren't exactly sticks and bones when you were six months along."

"Hey!" Olivia smiled, "I wasn't fat… I was rounded."

"Yeah," Casey chuckled, "To the nearest thousand pounds."

"Ouch," Alex winced, "harsh."

"I'm offended," Olivia smiled and took a bite of her slice of pizza, "when I was pregnant I couldn't eat pizza… it would turn my insides, inside out."

Alex grinned and took a bite of her own slice of pizza, "I don't get sick."

"Snob," Casey laughed and tossed her napkin at her as Addison crawled into her lap, "What kind of coffee did you get?" she asked Olivia. 

"Chocolate," Olivia smiled knowing exactly what she was asking, Olivia leaned over to Addison and let her sip from her luke-warm chocolate and smiled when he grinned up at her. She looked at her watch, careful of the time before giving him another sip, "Hey!" she scolded through a smile, "No back washing."

"You got a date?" Casey raised a brow.

"No," Olivia shook her head, "I just… I don't want to be late to see Elliot. I keep the time the same. Gives him something to look forward to," Olivia exhaled and leaned back in her chair, "How are you doing?" Olivia smiled and motioned to Casey whose lips were lingering against her son's hair.

"Great," Casey grinned, "I've been working as a legal secretary for the corporate office that Paul's pharmaceutical group deals with. The pay sucks, but, it's part time, which means," she smiled and hugged Addison tighter, "me and this little guy spend loads of time together."

Alex grinned, "That's really good to hear."

"Sam brought home a permission slip from the center, for the swim team yesterday," Olivia smiled.

"What?" Casey and Alex said in unison, "I thought he hated the water."

Olivia chuckled, "Crystal is on the female youth team down at the center."

"And where Crystal goes," Alex chuckled.

"Sam follows… he gets to pick his own charity to swim for and I think that's more interesting to him."

"How's he doing?" Casey asked more seriously, "Still not talking?"

"Nothing," Olivia puffed out air, "It's the beginning of May already, it's been three months since White happened and he still doesn't talk. He still won't hold the babies or help me with them at all, and every time Mags comes over, he just walks out of the room.

"Maybe when Elliot wakes up… Sam will wake up too." Casey said softly, "Does he still cry?"

"Yeah," Olivia exhaled "Not as much, but at least once during the night."

"I don't hear him," Alex interjected softly, "if I heard him I'd take care of him to give you some sleep."

Olivia laughed, "I hear you and Robert."

Alex grinned, "Hey, we try not to be loud but, quiet sex is weird for us."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Obviously."

All three women chuckled as Alex turned bright red and continued to rub her belly, "Sex when you're pregnant, is different form normal sex."

"More intense," Casey agreed.

Olivia smiled softly, "I'm gonna head to the hospital."

"Oh, Olivia," Casey furrowed her brow, "I'm sorry, we weren't-"

"It's fine," Olivia assured them both, "Elliot and I… well, when he wakes up and gets better I'll have some type of sordid story to tell you guys too," she smiled and picked up her bag kissing Addison softly on the cheek, "Bye guys."

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"Before you ask," Olivia smiled and placed blue daisies in a vase next to his bed, an act she'd been doing since she told him Richard White was dead. "I talked to your doctors today and they told me that you had rapid eye movement… you trying to wake up for me?" she asked softly and assumed her usual place of stretching along side of him and placing his hand on her waist.

"Do you feel better since they took your fixator off?" she asked and looked down at his leg that was propped up on pillows and still looked as if someone had taken a hammer and beat at it for a few minutes.

"I met with my probation officer this week. Had to pee in a cup," she chuckled, "guess they don't trust me to stay off the drugs, huh?" she teased and kissed his neck softly, "Personally I think he just wants to see me pee, so… I ask for his secretary to be the observer. He gets so pissed," she chuckled. "I'd really like to get this bracelet off of me, it's so uncomfortable. Sam fiddles with it all the time but never asks what it is. I'm not telling him until he asks… I want him to ask. I want to hear him, you know? And furthermore, Fin called me the other day White learned to slip his bracelet off of the internet… I'm too much of a chicken to search it out. My probation officer would probably stop by for a 'check up' just as soon as I got this bad boy off… I figure I got a few more months. May as well just be a good girl."

"It's May now, Elliot… I need you to wake up," she whispered. "Look at you're body… it looks like you're healing so well," she smiled and ran her hand through his long hair, "Look at this mop… I cut Sam's hair last night, he surprised me… wants to be on a swim team. Can you imagine that, El? Sam on a swim team?"

_Maybe he likes the water now. You still take him to the pool? _

"The paper says all the teams are swimming for charities; there is the M.S and Breast Cancer and Parkinson's foundation. I've had to explain some of them to him, but he still doesn't talk to me so it's difficult to know what he wants," she confessed.

"Carp stops by pretty frequently despite how angry he was with me for not telling him that I thought I was gonna be fired. He's turning into a really good detective, El. Someone you would have been proud to work with, well… except for all the irritating Carpisms he has. He took Isaac and Solomon for me today. It's his day off, but I think he knows I'm not doing so well, El."

She pressed her lips to his beard, "I know you hate facial hair, but I have to tell you… this is sexy on you. Very cute," she smiled and kissed his cheek again. "You're cheek looks really good; you can hardly even tell you've had three surgeries on it, well besides the scar, but… I don't know, I think it's sort of sexy on you. You look rugged," she chuckled then exhaled, "I'd rather have you awake though, and I think this is only the one millionth time I've asked you to open your eyes but… you know I'm stubborn. I'll just keep asking so, you may as well just cave in today and open them."

_Please keep asking. And you haven't asked me a million times, you've asked me exactly four-hundred and three times… that I can remember. How long have I been here Liv? Take me home, please? I want to come home. I miss you, I miss our kids._

"I'm moving back into the house on the beginning of next week, Robert and Alex and the rest of the guys said they have a belated birthday present for me, so… I'm anxious to see what they're talking about they already threw me a little get together. Sam's birthday is just around the corner, will you wake up for it? I think he'd really like that. I would… I don't really want to go back to the house without you, but well, let's just say, if I have to hear Alex and Robert having sex anymore… I may never be able to look at them in the eye again," she chuckled.

_Those two have always been so bold. What's today, Liv? I'm sorry I missed you're birthday, did you have cake?_

"I'm lonely, El," she sniffled and nestled closer to him, "I never thought I'd be a person to say that and to really hurt because of it, but I'm so lonely without you… the doctor's said that they've been really working on your knee and doing some physical therapy while you're resting… does it hurt you?"

_You've got no idea, but, Liv my mouth won't open to tell them to stop. Please tell them to stop. _

She felt his fingertips press into her waist and she smiled, "I talked to the doctors about this," she told him as she covered his hand with her own, "they think it's just a reaction or muscle spasm, but I think they don't know their butts from a hole in the wall… you're talking to me aren't you?" she whispered with furrowed brows as she looked up to see his features a little tighter than normal. His eyes moving rapidly, "Wake up, baby," she whispered.

_I'm trying to, Liv_.

Hannah cried from her car seat and Olivia smiled against Elliot's neck, "Well, I had a surprise visitor for you, but, it looks like she crashed the scene," she chuckled and quickly slipped off of the bed and gently brought their daughter back with her, "I'm sorry, I didn't bring her by before," Olivia whispered, "She'd broken her arm, and I didn't want you to worry about her, but feel how big she is," Olivia smiled and pressed her body alongside his adjusting his arm so Hannah laid safely and comfortably in his limp embrace, supported by Olivia's body.

"A little over six months, El," she grinned, "she has brown eyes, just like mine."

_Does that bother you?_

"At first," Olivia exhaled and ran her fingers over Hannah's black hair, "when I first noticed they were turning brown I freak out Elliot. I did. I sat at the foot of the bed with her in my arms and I prayed to God that he would make them any other color but brown. Isaac's a lefty and Hannah has brown eyes… it scared me."

_What changed your heart?_

"One day, I looked down at her and her eyes were so dark brown, that I knew they were my father's eyes. I just knew, but El… she's got your smile and she looked right at me and grinned and she was innocent. It doesn't matter what color her eyes are, does it?"

_No._

"She's innocent."

_I wish I could see her. Is she as beautiful as you?_

"She's gorgeous El. I need you to wake up so you can hold her before she gets too big."

_Why hasn't Sam come back?_

"The doctor's said you're hamstring is doing well. And you've beat a lot of things Elliot. They reconstructed you're knee and you're kidney has healed very nice, and this," she whispered grazing her fingertips over the scar left by the necessary drilling the doctors performed, "it's healing well, they said I could cut your hair if I wanted to, but… you look really cute. I figure if you don't like it… you'll have to tell me. You'll have to wake up and tell me."

She cupped his cheek and turned his head to face her, a tender kiss placed on his Chap Stick coated mouth, "I love you, Elliot… I have to go. Did I tell you I'm registering for school? And a plus is that since we've basically got no money coming in I got financial aid," she chuckled, "but don't worry, I've managed our money well and I only had to dip in to the savings once when the starter went out on the SUV… got to love domestic cars, right?" she smiled and kissed him again before whispering in his ear, "I'll see you tomorrow, same bat time, same bat place."

Olivia squatted low to place Hannah in her car seat. The baby fussed just as she was lowered and released from her mother's hands. Olivia kissed her arm softly, "Feels good not to have that rock of a cast on your little arm, huh?" she said and tickled Hannah's belly gently, "You are the cutest, brown eyed girl I have ever seen," Olivia smiled and buckled her firmly into the seat.

_Liv! Don't go! Please!_

"Come on, let's go round up your brothers, huh?" she asked the infant and then stilled instantly.

She felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, the gooseflesh caress her body and her heart beat escalate as a weak moan permeated the air and a fragile, almost inaudible, "Liv?" resound in her ears.

She stood slowly as tears already made themselves known. She swiped at them quickly as a sob fell from her mouth. Olivia slowly turned towards Elliot's bed and to her amazement, to her profound shock, saw blue eyes starring back.


	48. Chapter 48 Semper Fi

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 48: Semper Fi

The first time that Elliot had kissed Olivia, they were in the hallway of her apartment building. It was one of those simple, pure kisses that wasn't fueled by lust or followed up with groping. Elliot had taken her hand in his as he talked with her about the possibility of another date. She had just agreed to go with him to the beach when he raised her hand and kissed it softly, his lips barely grazing her flesh. It was her short, yet sudden gasp for air that made him smile and attempt a much bolder move of trailing his finger along her cheek and leaning in slowly to her, kissing her adoringly on the lips. She'd kept her eyes open, watching the strange sensation of peace and pleasure passing over his features. She had smiled against his lips, smiled because never, in all the kisses she'd shared with others, had she ever witnessed a look of peace on someone's face as they kissed her.

Elliot had tipped her chin up to look at him and teased her for keeping her eyes open, he suggested they try again and while she still kept her eyes open, she had felt an overwhelming sense of relief that he wanted to kiss her _again._ It was that kind of relief that you get after you've talked your way out of a ticket, the kind of relief that made you feel invincible and on top of the world but scared out of your mind at the same time. It was that relief that made your skin turn clammy as your heart momentarily forgot its rhythm.

It was the same relief she felt as she stared into Elliot's blue eyes as he looked at her from his hospital bed. For the first time in three months, she could look into her husband's eyes.

She thought, only momentarily, that this could be some sort of cosmic trick. She really hadn't been getting a lot of sleep since the day she found out her family had been attacked and she wasn't sure this was entirely real until slowly, he blinked and the corner of his mouth rose in the faintest hint of that Stabler smirk.

In shock, she raised her hands to her mouth as her tears continued to fall and as if his stare had somehow commanded them to, her legs slowly brought her to his bedside. She bent low, her chin quivering until her lips met the corner of his mouth and she sobbed against him, her hands finding their way to his neck as she kissed him softly again, "Elliot."

She felt his tears mix with her own, pool at the corner of his lips as she kissed him again, her hand moving to cup his bearded face. She reached across the bed to the call button and with a broad smile, pushed it. She brought her face back to his neck and lowered her lips to him, "I have so much to talk to you about," she whispered and sniffled as she traced her fingers over his hair and locked her gaze with his much more tired one, "Can you talk to me, baby?"

_I want to, Liv. I want to tell you that I love you. That you're amazing and I've missed you, but it took all of my energy to wake up, to call your name. Where's Hannah? Wasn't I holding her? Where is she?_

She framed his face, kissed his lips softly and smiled down at him, "Its okay," she whispered. "I know you're awake. I know you said my name. I know you're coming home, El… rest now, baby."

His mouth twitched before she felt a small tug on her shirt's hem, a groan that sounded as if he were protesting. She looked down and smiled seeing his middle and index finger try and pull her shirt, try and keep her close, "Its okay," she assured him. "The nurse is gonna come and I'm gonna be right here," she sniffled, "and I have Hannah here-" she felt the tug on her shirt slightly harder, "What?" she whispered running the pad of her thumb over the scar of his face, "what, El?"

Laboriously, "Nah."

"Nah?" she furrowed her brow, "Hannah?"

He tried so desperately to smile and she saw how it zapped his energy to try and communicate with her but, she did understand what he wanted and she quickly unclipped Hannah from the car seat and gently lowered herself next to him, their daughter between them so he could hold her and Olivia could help him. She saw his tears flow from him in rapid bursts as Olivia adjusted his arm to hold his daughter. He didn't move his head but strained his eyes to see her and she was beautiful. Just like her mother. Just like he knew she was going to be.

Olivia sniffled and kissed his temple, letting her lips linger as she whispered to him, "Had I known that all I needed to do was bring you your little girl to wake you up, I'd have done that on day one." She rested against his shoulder as he continued to shed silent tears and Olivia watched as he slowly, with determination, ran his index finger forward on back over Hannah's leg.

"Mrs. Stabler?" Daniela smiled, as she walked in, "How can I- OH!" her smile turned to a grin and she immediately used the phone next to the door and instructed someone on the other end to notify Elliot's doctors. She hung up and brought her stethoscope from around her neck, "How long has he been awake?"

"He just woke up," Olivia grinned and sobbed, "he, uh… he said my name and asked for his daughter."

Daniela smiled and gently placed the cool metal to Elliot's chest, "That's a wonderful sign, that means his memory is intact, although we'll have to see to what extent," she explained and peered down at Elliot, "Mr. Stabler?"

Slowly, Elliot split his focus between his daughter and the nurse that had read him funny comic strips while she made her rounds and Olivia wasn't with him. Get Fuzzy was what she called it and Elliot had thought they were funny. He raised his gaze to hers and she smiled, "Nice to have you back, Mr. Stabler."

"Excuse me?" Elliot's doctor walked in with a smile, "I heard someone has finally decided to stop snoozing."

"He woke up," Olivia smiled and kissed Elliot's cheek.

"Well then, that's great news! Shall we take a look and see what's what, Mr. Stabler?"

"Can I call our family first? I just want to let our friends know," Olivia asked as she gently extracted Hannah from Elliot's arms, surprised to hear him moan in protest.

"I'll call for you, it's about my time to clock out anyhow," Daniela smiled, "Be with him. You both have waited so long to see one another."

Olivia smiled down at Elliot softly as she held Hannah in her free arm and cupped his face, "It's okay," she whispered as he started to cry, his eyes frantically looking between Olivia and his daughter. "Don't cry," Olivia whispered, "I'll bring her back, but the doctor's need to look at you. She'll be right here," Olivia assured him and as if on cue Hannah peered down at her father and smiled. Olivia kissed Hannah's cheek and gently laid her back in her car seat, careful to place her daughter out of the walk way.

"Alright Mr. Stabler," the doctor smiled, "I need all of your attention… can I have it please?" the doctor asked and waited for Elliot to slowly drag his eyes from where his daughter lay, to the foot of the bed and eventually the doctors face. "Good," the doctor retrieved a pen, "one blink for 'no' two for 'yes', can you feel this?" she asked and ran it along the bottom of Elliot's foot.

Slowly Elliot blinked once… then twice.

"Good," the doctor smiled and gently pulled the sheet to the side exposing his leg, "what about here?" she asked starting from his hip and moving down a few inches before stopping. Elliot responded that he couldn't feel in some places and continued to do so until the doctor reached his knee and Elliot only offered one blink, "Okay," the doctor nodded and adjusted his sheet moving to the other side of the bed and taking the pen to his thigh, "Feel that?" Elliot gave one blink and Olivia watched on in confusion and began to cry as Elliot's tears became evident again. He was getting scared. There were too many places he couldn't feel.

"And here?" The doctor asked running the pen over the bottom on his other foot to which he replied that he couldn't. "How about this hand?" The doctor asked and gently tickled Elliot's palm that had been stabbed with a knife. Elliot surprised them both with a very slow shrug of his right shoulder. "Well," the doctor chuckled, "that answers my question about the upper extremities… that's very good."

Olivia swiped at her tears and watched the doctor don a pair of latex gloves, "Mr. Stabler, I need you to focus your eyes on me… and this may be very uncomfortable for you, but I need you to respond yes or no just like we've been doing."

Olivia looked away once the doctor lowered Elliot's sheet, "You sustained some devastating injuries to you're penis and testicles. I just want to make sure that you have sensation along you're shaft. I'm going to touch you and you tell me if you can feel it, okay?"

Olivia glanced at Elliot and her heart splintered seeing the humiliation in his eyes, the tightening of his jaw and increase of breath. The groan of protest. This woman was not his wife and he wanted her hands off of him. Olivia knew if he could, he'd be telling the doctor right where to shove it. "Here?" the doctor asked to which Elliot gave one blink, "okay. Here?" one blink, "what about here?"

Two blinks.

_Two blinks_. Olivia exhaled. _Thank you God for two blinks._

But, when Elliot's gaze fell and his tears streamed uncontrollably she knew that the single 'yes' was voided out by the two 'no' answers. It didn't matter to her, if she laid next to him every day for the rest of their lives and never made love, just as long as he was next to her but, the thought of having to fight with him to understand it made her cringe. He was going to fall completely apart and for a moment, she wondered if it would have been better if he didn't wake up. She wondered if it would be better that he simply stayed asleep rather than to have woken up to an uncertain future. Feeling one leg, not the other. Some sensation in his hand but too dull to really say if it would return to normal and what of his speech? Was he simply tired or would he too follow Sam and shut her out by withdrawing the pleasure of his voice from her?

The doctor covered Elliot with the sheet and discarded her glove, putting the pen back in her jacket, "Looks good Mr. Stabler. Looks very promising… you have sensation and that's good," she assured Elliot and smiled at Olivia, "It's sort of a 'where there's smoke, there's fire, type of thing," she said and pulled up a chair to talk to both of them. "Ah, a little one," she smiled down at Hannah who had since fallen asleep.

"He held her and woke up," Olivia smiled, "These two… they've always had a certain connection with one another, she's got him tied around her finger and he's got no problem with it," she chuckled lightly and reached for Elliot's hand, surprised when he slowly pulled his fingers free from hers.

It had begun.

She knew it, she knew what was coming, he'd fought her when his eyes were damaged, and she knew he was gonna fight her every step of the way on this one. What she also knew, was that she'd dig her heels in and fight back every step of the way. She reached and grabbed his hand again, holding it firmly. If he wanted to fight her, she'd fight.

"I know you must be confused," the doctor began, "he has some sensation in his lower extremities and a lack of sensation as well. That can mean a variety of thing so I remain very optimistic and you both should as well," she smiled. "Many of the areas where his sensation is poor or non existent are areas that sustained a tremendous amount of damage. Often a shattered leg is still very capable of healing and walking despite not having sensation of the skin," she assured Olivia. "Some of the problems can be that he is so exhausted right now," the doctor stood and began to make notations in Elliot's chart. "We're gonna take him to X-ray, see how all of the fractures have come along and if those pan out we're gonna start him on very aggressive physical therapy to stave off further muscle atrophy."

"When can I take him home?" Olivia asked softly.

"Well," the doctor exhaled, "we'd really like to see that he can move for himself. Give him a while to get his upper body strength back, make sure he can urinate on his own-"

"Brain damage?" Olivia whispered, "you said it could happen."

"The fact that he is communicating with us is excellent but, yes, we still have to watch him, and the physical therapist will also be assessing. It's hard to tell until he really starts talking and things become more involved. I should warn you that his short term memory will more than likely be affected for awhile."

"What can I expect? How can I make things easier for him? How can I make it easier for him when he comes home to us?"

The doctor smiled, "Olivia," she said rubbing her shoulder, "I have every ounce of faith that he's gonna be fine, but I have to error on the side of caution and prepare you for the worst. I'm going to send someone in that helps families prepare for such a traumatic shift in their life styles but you'll find that for things like short term memory loss, he'll eventually regain it… this is gonna be a recovery that is gonna be long and stressful and he's gonna fight and make you want to pull your hair out."

Olivia smirked and rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, "Wouldn't expect anything less."

"But that's a good sign… shows he's still in the game. Your job will be to support him completely and to love him unconditionally."

"Done. No questions," she said softly.

"Good." The doctor smiled, "Its baby steps Mrs. Stabler, but its steps just the same."

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Elliot had stayed awake long enough to endure the doctor's battery of tests and procedures and had fought to stay awake, despite his extreme exhaustion, just long enough to feel a sleeping Isaac rest comfortably over his chest. Olivia smiled as Elliot offered a weak smile at his son. She placed his hand over Isaac's back and helped him hold his son, helped him make that connection with Isaac who, since Elliot last saw him, had grown his curly blond hair out a few more inches and while Olivia knew it wasn't possible, she could have sworn he put on at least fifteen pounds.

"He's been quite the mischievous little boy, these last months," she informed Elliot who slowly ran his thumb over his son's back, "Alex dropped him by and picked up Hannah, I'm sorry but she needed to eat and I didn't have a bottle and my flow had been off."

He twitched the corner of his mouth. His smile for now.

"The other day, I laid the babies down on the living room floor, I turned my back for all of ten minutes and he'd taken their diapers off!" she chuckled and kissed Elliot's cheek.

_Olivia, he can take over the world in ten minutes._

"I think he's trying to encourage them to streak. And just yesterday, I took him with me to put some groceries in the house… I'm not sure where he found it, but he drew all over the wall in blue crayon, Elliot."

Elliot smiled softly as his eyes began to droop, "Too much excitement for you today, huh?" she whispered and cupped his face as she lye next to him, "I know, but… you got to see the kids."

Elliot's eyes shot back open and he gave a questioning glance to Olivia, a soft moan. Olivia exhaled, "I'm sorry, Sam won't come… he won't talk to me. Alex didn't tell him you were awake, we just asked if he'd come and he just went back to the room, but… I'm gonna talk to him tonight. I'm sure once he understands that you're awake he'll want to come and visit with you." She wiped the moisture from Elliot's eyes, "Don't cry," she whispered, "he's so young, he doesn't understand," she assured him, "he's been so scared." Elliot looked back down at his son and continued to move his thumb over him. "Hey…" she grinned, "looks like I owe you a song huh?"

Two distinct blinks.

The man wanted his song.

She smiled, nestled her body close to his, her forearm draped over his chest, her fingers curled over his shoulder as she ran her fingers through his hair with her other hand. She kissed him tenderly on the corner of his mouth and smiled against his cheek, "Now, keep in mind I never said I could sing, but I am a woman who keeps her promise," she kissed him again and sang softly in his ear.

_The first time ever I saw your face  
I thought the sun rose in your eyes  
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave  
To the dark and the endless skies, my love  
_

"I waited three months for you to wake up, Elliot," she whispered, "I waited and I anticipated the miracle I knew would come, and it came," she told him nuzzling his ear with her nose.

_  
And the first time ever I kissed your mouth  
I felt the earth move through my hand  
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird  
That was there at my command, my love  
_

"You'll never know what that first kiss did to me, El. Never in a million years will I be able to tell you in words what you did to me," she confessed and traced circles over his gown as their son continued to sleep over his chest.

"I think my façade started to break the instant your lips touched mine, the instant I knew you actually _wanted_ me; that you weren't pitying me or thinking of me as some sort of trophy. That you craved me. I didn't know what that felt like until that night in the hallway."

_  
And the first time ever I lay with you  
I felt your heart so close to mine  
The first time ever I saw your face  
Your face, your face, your face  
_

"The first time we made love El, I was this nervous and damaged woman and you let me break in your arms, under your touch, and you'll never know, you'll never begin to understand what that felt like for me. The closest think I can compare it to," she whispered and lowered her lips directly to his ear, "is when I turned around and saw you looking back at me."

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"So," Alex smiled and offered Olivia a cup of chocolate as they sat on the couch, "you've got to be the happiest woman in the world right now."

Olivia grinned and took a small sip, licking her lips, "I am… I'm nervous and I'm scared out of my mind at what's to come, but… he's awake, he's coming home to me and that's all that I care about right now."

Alex smiled, "How did he look?"

"So tired," Olivia exhaled, "but… he's gonna snap out of it, I'm certain."

"Did he say anything?"

"Just my name… and asked for Hannah… doctor says his speech should come soon, his brain is probably sending mixed signals."

"You don't have to go home, you know that, right?" Alex asked, rubbing Olivia's thigh softly, "you and your entire tribe can stay with us," she giggled.

"I have to go home," Olivia said softly, "a specialist came in and gave me a specific list of things to do… small things like put post-it notes on the appliances, you know, like 'turn off coffee maker,'"

"They don't think he can remember that?"

Olivia shrugged, "I think they're giving me all the precautions in the world and then slowly they'll filter out what he needs and doesn't… they asked me about a nurse."

"In home?"

Olivia exhaled, "Yeah, he needs a lot of attention… he'll need help, you know, going to the restroom… I want to do that for him but, I brought it up to him in the hospital and he eye-balled me like he never has before."

"Pride."

"Absolutely, so… I got him a female nurse."

"Female?"

"I didn't think Elliot would let another male help him bath or anything like that… I asked for a female… an old ugly one," she smirked, "I don't know if it's gonna make things easier but, if he's not gonna let me help him, he's got to let someone."

"You still going to school when it starts?"

"I have to… it's a condition of my probation but, I think I've got it worked out where the nurse will stay with Elliot during the day, Sam will be at school and the college's day care will accept Isaac as long as I'm taking a full load."

"The babies?" Alex asked.

"Uh, Casey will take them in her off time… we can't afford day care five days a week right now, got to watch every peso, right now… has Sam said anything today?"

Alex exhaled; it was the same question Olivia asked everyday she came home to which Alex could only reply with the same answer, "No, I'm sorry."

Olivia thumbed her eyebrow, "I know I shouldn't be angry at the little guy, but it's almost infuriating. I just want to know why he shut us out, this long. I know he's got to be so broken right now, but we love him so much and we just want him to talk, to tell us what's going on."

"I know… you know, a few months ago, Sam wanted singing lessons, maybe, somehow that can get him to open up."

"I'm trying everything," Olivia shook her head, "I told him I'd help him pick a charity to swim for today, and if singing lessons help, I'll pinch our bank account a little harder to make it work. I just… I want to hear his voice. I want him to beat this."

"We all do," Alex assured her, "and he will but, Olivia, what happened to him… that's got to be hard on any little boy and you combine that with his life before you and Elliot, and I'm sure you can understand the position he's in… Crystal came over today."

"Really? How'd that go?"

"They played chess."

"So, he talked!" Olivia chirped in hopefulness.

"No, sorry. He stayed quiet, she called out the moves."

Olivia sunk back into her chair, "Elliot cried when Sam visited him."

"You told me."

"Something happened that night, other than the obvious. White did or said something to Sam to make him shut down like this," she shook her head, "and no one can tell me… I'm not even sure Elliot knows how he got in the hospital… oh no," Olivia groaned, "No."

"What?"

"Alex," Olivia looked up at her, "Alex, do you think White could have… forced Sam to… do you think White would have…"

"Raped or molested Sam?"

"Yeah… do you think that could have happened?"

Alex exhaled, "I think Sam was looked over by some of the top doctors… there was no evidence of that from what you've told me… relax Olivia, he's gonna come around."

Olivia exhaled in a long controlled breath and shook her head, "I wonder if Elliot knows what happened?"

"You didn't ask him?"

"Didn't want to… I just wanted him to know how happy we were to see him awake, give him some motivation, you know?"

"Yeah."

"Are the kids asleep?"

"Yep, Solomon didn't eat though, just to warn you, he'll probably want to wake up."

Olivia nodded and smiled, "Have you felt the baby move?"

Alex laughed, "All of the time! He kicks like crazy, keeps me wide awake."

"Just wait until you get ready to go into labor Alex, I swear, all you do is sit on the toilet and keep in mind, you don't necessarily pee, you just always feel like you need to."

Alex grinned, "Robert was sound asleep and the baby kicked so hard he woke up."

"It happens… you find out what you're having?"

Alex nodded, "Yesterday, a little boy."

Olivia's eyes went wide and she instinctively touched her friends bulging belly, "Wow! That is so amazing… another little guy. You'll have tons of hand me downs between my boys and Addison."

Alex laughed, rubbing her belly, "Good!"

Olivia exhaled and rested her head back against the couch, "Elliot is awake, Alex."

"I know," she smiled softly, "and he's just gonna keep getting better and better."

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"Hey," Olivia whispered through a grin as Sam laid still on his back, "I got news."

Sam smiled and quickly raised his hand, a folded piece of paper within, "The charity?" she asked and stretched out next to him, careful not to flop as the rest of the kids slept near by. He nodded 'yes' and she opened the paper. "Okay, what team is Crystal swimming for, again?" He said nothing but cocked his brow indicating he wouldn't be falling for her trap to get him to talk.

"Right," Olivia exhaled, "Parkinson's?"

He nodded 'No'

"AIDS?"

Another 'No' nod.

"Breast Cancer?"

He grabbed her arm and furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Want to know what it is?"

A 'Yes' nod.

"Well," she placed the paper on the mattress, "you know how I can feed Solomon and Hannah from my own body, but your father can't?"

'Yes'

"Some times, in women, those special places get attacked with a disease called cancer and the woman will get very sick and can even die-"

"Can you get it?"

Her brows shot up, her jaw went slack, his first words in three months and he was concerned with her living or dieing, "Honey," she whispered as her tears began to fall, "I'm not going away," she said and softly cupped his face, "I'm not. Yes, there's always a possibility that I could get something like this, but you know what? I take really good care of my body, I eat right and I go to the doctor to make sure that I don't get it, and I even know how to check my own body so, even if I were to get something like this, there's a very very good chance I'd beat it."

"But you _could_ get it?" he asked tilting his head and waiting for her answer, "Could it kill _you_?"

"Yes… but I could also get anything else on the list-"

"Breast cancer," he nodded. "Can I swim for that team?"

She didn't care if he swam for the Mickey Mouse club, she hadn't heard his voice for three months and it killed her every day, "Yeah baby, I think that will work just fine."

He nodded.

"Did you have fun with Crystal today?" She asked and her moment of happiness fell when he didn't respond again, as if his one concern was if she would die or not. Frustrated, she lowered her face to her hands and rubbed her eyes, "I've got great news for you Sam… want to hear?"

He smiled and nodded, 'yes'.

"I was visiting your father today and-"

He rolled over, his back to her and curled up into a ball. She exhaled and wrapped her arm around his waist, "I'm not upset that you didn't come with Alex today but, honey… your daddy is awake, he is, and I know he'd love for you to come and feel him and hear him… will you?"

Sam nodded 'no' and wiggled out of her arms.

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"Before you ask," Olivia whispered into Elliot's ear and was surprised to watch a full smile grace his lips, "the kids are with Casey… wow, that smile has got to be the sexiest thing I've seen in a long time… can I get a pair of deep blues to go with that?"

Elliot swallowed and slowly opened his eyes, "Hi," he said gruffly.

Olivia cupped his cheek, rubbed her thumb over his lips, "You've got no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that."

He took a few seconds, as if having to think of his sentence but replied in a raspy voice, "Wanted… say it… long time."

She smiled, "And you have, and that's amazing." She kissed him gently on his lips, "I'm getting the house ready for you… Frankie stopped by today and he's working with Mac and some of Mac's friends who, I have no idea who they actually are, but they're gonna make it really easy for you to get around until you start walking."

Elliot nodded gently, "Love… you."

Olivia grinned and kissed the corner of his mouth, "Yeah… I've been waiting for that one, too," she sniffled.

"Alright Mr. Stabler," a young physical therapist smiled and walked into the room, "say's here," the young man referred to the chart, "that you jumped out of a plane and your chute didn't open, that correct?"

Elliot furrowed his brows and looked questionly at Olivia, "N-no," he managed.

"Oh," the young man smiled, "right, you're the guy that did that belly flop but forgot there was no water in the pool."

Elliot smiled, finally understanding that the physical therapist was playing with him, "Feels… broke… every… thing."

The young man chuckled, "That's because you nearly did," he laughed and placed his hand within Elliot's in a limp handshake. "I'm Roger. You'll remember me because I'm the only good looking individual on this floor."

Elliot turned to Olivia, "C-cocky."

Olivia grinned, happy to see that Elliot was trying with everything he had, to interact, "He is… I'm sure he obviously doesn't know that you're better looking than him… what are you gonna do?"

"K-kids," Elliot smiled and labored for a breath, "think… know everything."

Roger laughed, "I do! Which is good for you, Mr. Stabler. I'll have you doing the side-straddle-hop in no time."

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Ma…rine?"

Roger smiled, "Close. Army. Infantry but, moved to health services, stationed in Camp Pendleton for four years, love those Marines though; they are some pretty squared away jar heads if you ask me."

Olivia saw Elliot's face beam as he slowly brought one hand over his body to point out his tattoo, "Sem…per… Fi."

Roger smiled, "Then get your ass out of this bed and show me the heart of a marine."

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"Okay," Roger smiled, "remember when you were in boot camp and you repelled too fast?"

"Y-yeah," Elliot whispered, "why?"

"Remember how the landing could tare hell out of your legs?"

Elliot slowly turned his head to Olivia in confusion. She laced her hand with his, "its okay, he's probably got a good reason."

"Yep," Roger said matter of factly. "This is gonna hurt just like landing too hard. You're gonna be sore, but Marines keep going don't they?" he told Elliot with a raised brow, "let's go soldier."

"C-can't m-move."

"Sure you can," Roger assured him and where he was gruff with his language he was gentle with his hands, "let's start with these feet, which by the way, what size shoe do you wear? These things look like you can land a Black Hawk on'em."

Olivia laughed knowing full well that Roger was trying to lighten the mood, trying to establish some sort of connection with his patient to bring him back to who he once was before his life was put on hold. She watched her husband smile, his eyes flicker with laughter and she couldn't be more appreciative of the gung ho physical therapist.

Olivia continued to hold his hand and watch his feet for any motion. Personally, she thought his feet were sexy and she missed the nights when he tangled his with hers. When there was no movement from him she kissed his knuckles softly and turned her face back to him, to see the fear in his eyes as tears fell, "It's okay, its just your first day, today."

"I'll help you out," Roger told him in a surprisingly gentle tone, "can you feel this?" he asked as he cupped Elliot's calf and grasped his ankle, slowly bending his knee back.

Surprised, Olivia felt his hand bare down on hers and she almost winced when her bones were forced against her wedding ring but she quickly quieted herself, scared that if Elliot saw her in discomfort he would stop. "You're doing so well," she encouraged him, happy that his grasp was getting stronger but very much aware that this must have been pay back for the torture she put him through during her delivery of Solomon.

"Little further, come on Stabler, you got this," Roger told him as he continued to bend his knee into a ninety-degree angle.

Elliot locked his jaw, his teeth bared as his breathing increased. The pain was too much. The pain of having his knee, that had been sliced, his ACL severed and reconstructed; pulled back had produced an agonizing sound from the back of his throat and Olivia didn't know if she could stand to see him go through this much pain, "You got this, El," she whispered and kissed his sweaty hand, "You got it, baby."

"Alright," Roger interrupted, "coming back down," he warned and gently straightened Elliot's leg. A task that seemed just as painful, "And that's one." Roger told them.

"N-no… m-more," Elliot pleaded, "P-p-lease?"

"One more."

"N-no," Elliot shook his head. "No," he panted and Olivia gently trailed her finger tip along his brow, she'd never seen him beg and she wondered if it was true what White had said, she wondered if he had begged for his life. Used please.

"One more, baby," Olivia said softly.

Elliot turned his pleading stare to her, "P-please, no."

She cried silently against his hand and kissed his fingertips, "One more."

"Comin' up," Roger warned him and slowly repeated the motion as Elliot writhed in the bed in pain, clamping down on his wife's hand as he smashed his teeth together and slammed his eyes shut. The perspiration fell from him as if he were completing a marathon rather than the simple task of bending his leg.

By the time Roger had finished with the second bend, Elliot had nothing left to offer him, his breathing was labored, he was moaning and pleading with his wife, chanting 'home' as much as he could manage, "I know," she said softly, "but you've got to get strong first."

Roger smiled, "Alright, we're done for today."

Elliot exhaled in relief, his eyes searching back and forth along the ceiling, his lips moving silently. She wondered what he was saying. Was he praying for this pain to end?

"What about his other leg?" Olivia dared to offer, feeling Elliot's stare on her as if she'd just pushed him under a bus.

"The orthopedic specialist has to give us the okay on that one, because of all the hardware that was used to keep him together. The x-rays look beautiful, but we still need his approval before we go bending things in that leg."

Olivia looked back at her husband who was smirking at her and she knew full well what that smile meant, it was somewhere along the lines of _Ha! Deal with it._ "What can I do to help him?"

"Well, we're gonna put him in a CM machine which is just a short cut for saying 'constant movement'. It'll keep bending his leg much like we did today, but its twenty-four hours a day."

She heard Elliot's groan and she shot him her own smirk, somewhere along the lines of, _Ha! Thought you got out of it, didn't you?_

"Will he be in constant pain?"

"Normally they'll wait until the family leaves-"

Elliot protested with a groan again.

Roger continued, "They'll give him a really strong dose of meds and then they'll start the machine. The meds will keep him down until the worst of the pain subsides, but yes, he'll be uncomfortable when you see him tomorrow."

"What about food?" Olivia tilted her head, "when does the feeding tube go?"

Roger shrugged, "I'm sorry, I'm not a doctor, I can't tell you. But," he smiled, "Stabler here is a marine, keep reminding him of that and you'll see a pretty amazing man do some pretty amazing things. A marine is a machine, when he thinks he's got nothing left remind him that he's a marine and he'll become a machine, believe me… once a marine, always a marine."

Olivia smiled down at him, "I already see an amazing man, who's done a lot of amazing things."

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"They're gonna kick me out soon," Olivia whispered as she lye stretched out next to her husband.

"N-no," he whispered softly.

She smiled against his cheek and kissed him, "I love you so much and you did so well today."

"K-kids?" he asked weakly.

She smiled, "Solomon rolls _everywhere_, it's weird and funny at the same time," she chuckled. "I put him down and he just rolls, I though maybe he'd do the crawling thing, but nope, he rolls."

Elliot smiled, "N-nah?"

"Your little princess has learned the fine art of peek-a-boo from Isaac, who has turned into trouble on two feet but, a fun, playful trouble. I think his terrible two's started a little later than normal."

She felt him try to chuckle and she rubbed his chest softly with her hand, "You're gonna come home soon. Remember that," she smiled and kissed his cheek, "marine."

He surprised her by turning his head to face her. His stare solid and intense, "S-sam…uel?"

She exhaled and momentarily looked away, "He decided to swim for the breast cancer charity… kind of weird don't you think?"

He furrowed his brows.

"Well, I mean… there was a blindness charity I thought he would swim for but… he spoke to me, El."

Elliot's brows rose slightly and his eyes brightened.

"But, it was the oddest thing… I was reading him the charities, we got to the breast cancer one and he asked me if I could die, then he just went quiet again."

Elliot took a concentrated breath and, "V-visit?"

"I'm sorry," Olivia whispered sadly. "You know Sam hates hospitals." Elliot's face fell and Olivia knew it was hurting him that he couldn't see Sam, hear about his days, tease him about Crystal. "El?" she said softly and brought his face back to hers. "Baby, do you remember what happened that night?" His eyes darkened and he slowly pulled his head away from her touch.

"Elliot," she whispered and kissed his cheek, "its okay to tell me." She saw his eyes swell with tears, witnessed how he tried to hold back from crying. "Tell me," she encouraged him and rested her hand on his chest, "I'm listening."

His breathing became more intense, "S-Sam."

"He's fine. He healed up like a champion."

"I-saac," Elliot's eyes roamed the room frantically as his breathing quickened, "b-abies… s-s-sorry."

"Sorry?" she furrowed her brows. "Baby, there's no reason to be sorry," she told him honestly. "You saved them, you protected them."

His brows contorted up and together, his tears fell from his eyes and a sob escaped him, "S-am."

She felt the beating of his heart crashing against his chest, "Shh," she soothed, placing her lips on his bearded cheek, her hand on the opposite one, "shh, no. No, you have nothing to be sorry for, Elliot. Nothing."

His breathing increased and she grew concerned she wouldn't be able to sooth him back to normalcy. She framed his face with both hands and locked her gaze with his, "I love you. I adore you. You're beautiful," she whispered and pressed her lips against his, sipping softly from his chapped bottom lip until he quieted. She nuzzled her nose against his, pulled back only one or two inches, "I'm sorry I upset you."

He took her off guard when he slowly raised his head to meet her lips again. She smiled softly against his bearded lips and closed her eyes, enjoying his mouth against hers.

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"Ready?" Olivia smiled as she held Sam's hand, "the house is gonna feel a little different but it's exactly the same."

He cocked his brow to her.

"There's just a few changes but I think you'll like them," she told him.

"Come on Sam," Alex smiled as she held Hannah, "Your sister isn't exactly light anymore and Isaac is doing his pee dance."

Sam smirked and walked into the house as soon as Olivia pushed the door open for him. She took his hands as Alex and Robert walked in with the rest of her family save Elliot, "Feel," Olivia whispered and rested his fingertips over the new door, "Two dead bolts, very easy for you to turn. One is high," she told him and raised his hand to it, "and one is low," she said and lowered his hand. "We'll always keep the high one locked so Isaac doesn't wander, okay?"

He nodded his agreement but didn't continue walking.

"What is it?" she kneeled in front of him.

He pointed to his ear and tapped his foot producing nothing like the sound he would have normally heard, "That's right," she smiled, "the floors are different aren't they? No more hard wood floors except in the back bedrooms… this is the carpet that the Gray's and Novak's picked out, feel how soft it is?"

He kneeled next to her and pat the floor with his hand and smiled.

"When your father comes home… there's gonna be lots of wrestling isn't there?"

Sam stood and simply moved to walk away from her. She stopped him by his wrist, "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you, son."

He wrenched his arm away, furrowing his brows and casting her voice a dirty look. She pulled him back to her as quick as she could and as forcefully as she could without hurting him and brought him into her lap, her arms around him, his back to her chest, "Don't. You. Dare. Disrespect me," she warned him coolly and was surprised when he broke and began to sob in her arms.

He turned his body in her embrace and wrapped his arms around her, hiding his face in her neck, "Daddy," he sobbed, "Daddy."

She rubbed his back softly as Alex cast her a soft smile before bringing a bottle to Solomon's mouth, "I know you miss him, honey," she whispered as her own tears fell. "I know you miss him and I know you have so many questions and I know you have to be wanting to talk," she pulled him back so she could see him, "talk to me honey, please?"

He sniffled, wrapped his arms back around her, "I love you, Mom."

She let out a smile and a sob all at once and held him tighter, "I know you do… and I love you more than you know."

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"He didn't seem interested in the house," Olivia said as Alex passed her the paper plates.

"But he said something, right?" Robert smiled, "That's a start."

Olivia nodded softly, "Baby steps."

"I thought you'd be happy about it," Alex said as she opened the pizza box.

"I am," Olivia grinned, "I definitely am, but… I don't know, it's not the same you know?"

"Maybe that's why he's a little quiet right now," Robert smiled as the door bell rang, "I got it, that must be the Novaks."

Olivia beamed, "Casey's here?"

"Yeah," Alex winked, "you didn't think we'd have your first dinner back in your house without her did you?"

Olivia turned to the door and grinned as Casey entered confidently with Paul at her side and Addison on her hip, "Hey, guys," she smiled, "sorry we're late, we picked up movies and some one couldn't' decide," she teased, nudging Paul.

"I was torn between The Count of Monte Cristo and The Swan Princess."

Robert arched his brow, "I'm not even gonna touch that."

Olivia laughed and as soon as Addison was passed to his father she hugged Casey tightly, "You look so beautiful."

"I've had good rest."

"Paul," Robert chirped, "let me see that boy, what are you feeding him?"

Paul laughed and passed his son to Robert, "A lot of food, man. A lot."

"You're sporting a glow," Olivia whispered as she continued to embrace Casey, "it wasn't the movies that made you late, it was sex. Admit it."

Casey laughed and squeezed her friend tighter, "No… it was great sex."

Olivia chuckled, ran her hand soothingly over Casey's shoulders and separated to see everyone at the table, "Hey! Save some for us!" she grinned as Alex took another bite of pizza.

"You look amazing, Olivia. Happy," Paul smiled as Addison wiggled out of Robert's lap.

"I don't know about amazing," she blushed, "But, I'll give you happy," she said and was surprised to have Addison wedge himself between her knees and demand to be lifted, "Did you miss me?" Olivia asked as he sat in her lap and grinned up at her.

"Via!" He giggled and quickly slid off.

"Ah," Casey grinned, "Seems, Olivia is too hard."

"Olivia?" Olivia faked hurt, "what happened to Auntie?"

Paul laughed, "It'll come… he's working on chromium. One thing at a time."

"Chromium?" Alex rubbed her belly, "why does that sound really wrong to me?"

Casey exhaled, "It was that or Animaniacs… I had to make a decisive decision."

The group laughed loudly until Isaac peeked from the kitchen, "Mama, lookit me!" he said.

"Lookit?" she turned around in her seat, "you're supposed to be slee- Isaac! No!"

"Pee Pee!" he smiled and pointed down to his naked hips as he promptly peed on the kitchen floor.

"Young man!" Olivia scolded and quickly got up from her seat, side stepping the puddle and picking him up, "Not. Okay," she told him looking at him square in his blue eyes.

He shook his head sadly, "No okay?"

"No," she reaffirmed. "Why?"

"Fun!"

"Wrong. Try again."

"No fun?"

"Exactly," she told him and quickly ushered him into the boys' restroom cleaning him up and promptly returning him to his bed, "I love you, monkey, but no more pee pee's unless it's in the toilet with the cheerios. Understand?"

He nodded, "Sowry. Where daddy?"

Olivia grinned, "He's coming home soon, maybe a couple of weeks… so you better get some sleep so you can wrestle with him when he does."

He promptly flopped his head on his pillow and closed his eyes with a grin plastered on his face. She kissed his cheek, "I don't know why you've got this wild streak all of a sudden, but you're killin' me, son," she whispered and kissed him again, "Nightie night."

"Nigh nigh, Mommy."

She smiled turned to Sam and kissed him softly, "Night super hero."

Olivia flipped the light and returned to her company, "Oh, Robert!" Olivia shook her head, "No, you don't have to clean this," she told him referring to Isaac's gracious donation.

"Relax," he smiled, "go, the girls are anxious to talk with you, and I'm already done," he assured her and made a final sweep of a disinfectant rag as Olivia sat down with her friends.

"So," Paul grinned with his son resting over his shoulder, "how is Elliot?"

"Yeah," Casey said around a bite of pizza, "when can we see him?"

"He's awake, and doing good!" Olivia said excitedly. "He started physical therapy… he's in a lot of pain but the doctor says that's a good sign. Shows that he has feeling in his legs."

"I know about physical therapy," Casey said with raised brows, "that stuff is brutal torture."

"Will it get easier for him?" Olivia asked as Alex handed her a diet coke.

"Yeah, it did for me when I started to be able to move around a little on my own. I wasn't so stiff all the time. The doctors will tell you to exercise him once a day, but I think the reason I responded so well was because Paul had me do exercises morning and night and it hurt like nothing I've known, but it helped so much, too."

"You two are gonna fight a lot," Paul told her as he placed his hand on Casey's thigh, "Case and I fought a lot. She was so stubborn and independent and I wanted to help as much as possible… it's a sure fire way to piss one another off… be patient with him when he comes home but at the same time, don't let him push you away."

Casey smiled sheepishly, "It's hard when one day you were walking around doing your own thing and then suddenly you wake up and you have to ask for help for every little thing you do."

"Robert asks for help on everything," Alex teased, "he's helpless without me and no one beat him up."

He shrugged as his friends laughed, "Never denied it… how are Solomon and Hannah adjusting to being back in their cribs?"

Olivia laughed, "They couldn't care less so long as there is milk and a dry diaper when they wake up… I think they like the carpeting though… a little easier for them to move around then the hard wood floors. I put them down when we got home and they've been out ever since."

"You like the carpet?" Alex asked taking a sip of water.

"Love it," Olivia smiled, "thank you so much guys. I think the house… the work you guys put into making it look like nothing happened, is the best birthday present. I didn't know what I was gonna do with it and I didn't want Elliot to have any reminders."

"Well," Robert smiled, "I think he'll adjust well. The ramps Frankie installed can be removed really easily, just give us cave men a call when you two are ready."

"So," Paul teased, "how's life on probation?"

Olivia laughed, "Shut up!"

"What?" he grinned, "just curious… that's a smashing ankle bracelet you've got there. Really enhances you're legs."

Casey rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Regular little humor mill isn't he?"

"Probation is fine… I'm fine with it really, it got my butt back in school and it keeps me with my family."

"Does Elliot know?" Alex asked.

Olivia exhaled, "I'm not sure what he knows. I asked him about that night today and I thought he was going to have a heart attack or something. His monitor went through the roof and he wouldn't calm down. Kept saying he was sorry and asking for Sam."

"He knows Sam is okay?" Robert asked.

"Yeah, he does," she said softly, "It hurts him that Sam won't visit him, though."

"Sounds like both feel guilty the other got hurt," Case said softly. "I'm sure once Elliot gets home, Sam will lighten up and they'll fall in love with each other again."

Olivia puffed out a breath, "I hope so."

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It wasn't a sound that woke her up so much as a feeling that something wasn't exactly right. Olivia sat up in a half empty bed and trained her ear listening intently for a sound, any sound. When there was none she slipped out of bed and while she would have normally itched to pull a gun she pulled a bat from the corner of the room. Her probation officer may have said no firearms but he didn't say anything about a baseball bat.

She walked slowly through the dark hallway in Elliot's boxers and her camisole and when she saw the entire house was still dark she knew it was one of two things, either something was incredibly wrong and her family was in danger again or Sam was awake somewhere in the house. No need for light when your entire world is dark.

"Sam, baby? You up?" she called softly and heard nothing.

She walked down the hall, flipping a light as she went and when she was convinced that nothing was off in the main area of the house she immediately went to the boys' room flipping on the light to see that Sam's bed was empty. She panicked and went to the alarm panel only to fine everything in working order.

"Sam," she called as she walked to their restroom and found it empty and then stopped just as she saw an illuminated figure from the nursery, "baby?" Olivia whispered turning on the light and dimming it immediately in an effort to keep the babies asleep. "Honey, how long have you been in here?" she asked him as he stood in front of the window, his hands gripping the pane tightly, the unmistakable smell of urine in the air.

"Samuel," she said softly and positioned herself behind him, "what's wrong?"

He said nothing but his wet cheeks and the story Carp had told her the day he walked her through the damages of her own house let her know he was thinking of the attack and that more than likely everything that Carp had told her about this location was true. She kneeled behind him, happy that the hardwood floors were still kept in the nursery; that painted foot prints were unmarred. She could still read Elliot's words to her, _My Axis_. It had been such a simple male statement but utterly profound.

"I love you," she whispered and softly placed her hands on Sam's shoulders and followed the length of his arms to his hands that had turned white from gripping the window's pane. "Let go, son," she said softly and gently began to pry precious fingers from the area. "It's okay. I have you. I'm right here."

He sobbed and simply fell backwards, sitting on her thighs, "Solomon was super heavy," he cried as she held him tight. "He was. He was so heavy because he eats too much and I couldn't get him really low and I heard Isaac fall when I dropped Solo."

"You saved them both," she said softly as he labored for his breath, "tell me what's happening up here?" she said and gently kissed his temple, "tell me."

He took in a ragged breath and let out a silent screech and she immediately picked him up unconcerned that lifting his nine year old body killed her own. She took him into her restroom and let him cry. "Hey," she smiled and ran her finger along his cheek, "it's okay to be upset. That night was scary and you did so well. You were amazing and you still are… I'm proud of you."

He shook his head, "I'm a bad boy. Can't make the devil go good."

"No," her voice broke. "No baby, you're not the devil, you're not a bad boy… you were scared and whatever you think you did wrong, I promise you, it was so right."

He pulled his shirt off and slipped out of his boxers and quietly stepped into the waiting stream of the shower.

"Sam," she said softly. "Don't shut back down, not now. You've been talking, please don't shut down on me again."

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"Hey, you good looking man," Olivia smiled and kissed her husband softly on the mouth. "They've got you sitting up, huh?"

Elliot smiled, "Yeah, I feel good." He said slowly, "but, this thing keeps me awake."

She grinned, "You're talking so much better… and that," she pointed to the machine that cradled his leg and slowly bent it back before straightening it out, "is suppose to help you get better faster."

He exhaled, "Yeah."

She kissed the corner of his mouth, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

He exhaled, "I can't lift my arm to scratch my nose. I wanted to see what I looked like, and I couldn't hold the mirror up, nothing on my body works, Liv" he said and leaned back into the pillow.

"The doctors said you did well this morning… that you gripped a tennis ball with your hand, your hand works," she reminded him and gently ran her finger along the ridge of his nose.

"I was thinking about you today."

She grinned and stretched out next to him, "Yeah? What were you thinking about?"

"What happened to me?"

"What?" she furrowed her brow, "Elliot… you were beate-"

"No," he whispered, "I mean… what happened to _me_?"

She furrowed her brows and tipped his face to force him to look at her, "I'm sorry… I don't understand."

"I thought about… the time you and I made love on the couch cushions."

She chuckled and nuzzled her nose against his, "Yeah? I'm pretty fond of that night, too."

"Nothing happened."

Confused, she shook her head, "What do you me-oh," she raised her brow, "Elliot… the doctors told you that you had some pretty serious damage-"

"What kind?" he asked and turned his head away from her opting to look out the window as he waited for her response.

She exhaled and wiped the moisture from her eyes, "Two nails."

"I don't… remember that," he shook his head, "I remember… being kicked, but nothing else."

She kissed his temple, surprised when he pulled away. She cupped his face and brought his head back to her, kissing him again. "The doctor said it might be awhile because of the stitches and-"

"Stitches?" he turned his head and narrowed his gaze at her, "how many?"

She looked down fully aware she'd given him too much information, "seventeen."

"For two nails?" he whispered and shook his head, "what _exactly_ was my injury?"

"El, ple-"

"Tell me!" he barked and coughed from the effort, struggled for his breath.

She buried her face into his neck, "I'm so sorry Elliot. Please don't make me t-"

"Tell me," he whispered in a broken voice, "please? I tried to feel but my arms… they're not working for me… tell me."

She shook her head, "I'm sorry, one of… they removed a testicle-"

His shoulders fell, his eyes closed in automatic defeat and he dropped his head against the pillow, "Leave me alone."

"No."

"Leave me alone!" He growled.

She pulled his face to look at him, "Don't even start that crap with me. What do Marines do when everything goes to crap? Huh? Tell me. Do they give up and tell their men to let them die or do they fight like hell to get home?"

"Liv-" his voice broke as he sniffled, "please."

"No," she shook her head softly, "No. I've been here every single day that you've been here, well, despite the jail stint, but I've been here and I'm not walking away. This doesn't make you any less of the man I married so you'd better suck it up and get use to me being right here, in your face, this close to you."

"Get o-"

She held his face more firmly and rested her forehead against his, "I'm. Not. Leaving. Deal with it," she told him and kissed his mouth softly. "I love you. I'm not moving. I'm not going. You've got two choices, you can either exert all of your energy trying to push me away or you can use that same energy to get out of this bed. It's up to you."

He locked his gaze with hers and although he new he was crying, he couldn't feel the tear streak his damaged cheek. He willed her, with his stare, to stay still and he slowly, with as much concentration and deliberation as possible began to raise his hand. She moved her face to meet him half way and while his caress was sloppy and uncoordinated, his hand was still on her cheek as she cried and covered his hand with her own and kissed his palm, "So what are you telling me?" she whispered.

He smiled sadly, "I want out of this bed."

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"Sorry, I'm late," Olivia chirped tossing her back pack onto a chair in Elliot's room, "first day of school… hectic. Sucked."

Elliot laughed. It had been two solid weeks since he'd woken up, two weeks of painful physical therapy on both legs and his hand. While Olivia had offered to shave him and cut his hair, he told her to let it go that since she liked the look so much he'd keep it a little longer.

She loved it. Loved the feel of his whiskers against her hand when she talked to him, when she kissed the corner of his mouth and smiled at the sensation. His feeding tube had been removed almost immediately after his catheter and while he fought with her and yelled at her that he didn't need her to feed him, she dug in her heels, told him to stick a sock in it and sat down to feed him.

It had been two weeks of not knowing if it would be a good day or a bad day, two weeks of him asking if Sam would be coming to which she had to reply 'no' each time. By day seven he'd managed to move the toes to his once shattered, now bruised leg which made not just Olivia, but Elliot's medical staff nearly shout for joy.

For each percent of movement that was acquired, that was one less percent of paralysis he could have.

"Ready for lunch?" Olivia smiled and took the lid off of his tray that had been waiting for him, "Oooh, baby, you've got to get home to some real food."

He smiled, "Who's eating better food? Me? Or Hannah and Solomon?"

Olivia frowned at the food, "Hard to say… you hungry?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But?"

He exhaled, "I just… this morning I made such a mess of everything. Daniela was cleaning oatmeal out of my gown for a half an hour. "

She smiled, "She like what she saw?" she teased and almost thought she shouldn't until he smiled.

"Hardly," he laughed, "after three months on my back, I'm not exactly cut anymore besides, did you know that Daniela and Roger are a couple?"

"Really?" Olivia cocked a brow, "how do you know?"

He winked, "I'm the king of the hospital gossip."

"Oh really."

"Oh yeah," he smiled, "You only wish you knew what I knew."

She laughed, shaking her head and tucking his napkin along the collar of his gown, "I picked up Sam's swimming uniform today."

"Yeah?" he asked, "how's it look."

She smirked, "Um… good," she nodded mixing his food.

"You're hiding something," he smiled, "I know because you get that crooked smile… what's wrong?"

She smiled, stuck the straw in his juice box, "He's swimming for the breast caner charity."

"Right," Elliot nodded, "I know. So?"

She was trying desperately not to laugh, "Uh… the warm up outfit is, uh… pink."

Elliot stared at her, "Pink?"

"Pink," she said with laughter in her eyes, "his name is embroidered on his jacket. Looks really good, actually."

"Pink… like Hannah?"

"Yep," she smiled again.

Elliot blew out a slow breath, "Okay, uh… he swimming yet?"

She tried to hold in her smirk, "Yeah, yeah I take him to the pool right after the center. He's finally got his entry dive down. The babies like the water, El… can't wait for you to come with us. Doctors say water exercise will help too."

"You're still hiding something."

She laughed and picked up his fork, "Speedo."

His eyes went wide, "Huh?"

"Speedo… Sam's has to wear a Speedo and a cap."

"Speedo? I leave for a little while and my son is in a _Speedo_?" He shook his head, "He's wearing a 'G' string."

"El," Olivia laughed and placed a small amount of food on the tip of the fork reaching for his good hand and wrapping his fingers around it, "it's not a 'G' string, but… it's pink."

He opened his mouth to protest and she quickly lifted his fork to his mouth, "He's swimming, El. He's not talking, but he's at least being social and getting out of the house. If he's doing it in a pink Speedo then so be it."

He smiled around the fork and accepted the food without complaint as she lowered his hand and worked with him to gain more food onto the fork, "He at least look good out there?"

"Don't know," she shrugged, "he won't wear them."

"He knows they're girly."

She laughed and helped him with his next bite until she felt his hand tighten on the fork, "Next one is all you," she told him and let go of his hand, watching as he slowly composed a bite of food and slowly brought it to his mouth only to have it fall off of the fork and into his lap. He groaned and thrust the fork back to the tray.

"I'm not hungry."

"Sure you are," she told him without missing a beat. She changed the fork for the spoon.

"Leave me alone," he sulked.

"Save it," she told him and lifted his hand forcing him to take the spoon, "nice and tight," she told him and slowly brought his hand to his mouth letting go completely as he placed the spoon in his own mouth. At his own will. Independent.

Olivia smiled softly and cleaned up the fallen food, wiped his bearded lips and kissed him, "See," she whispered, "you got this."

"Hey maggot," Roger rendered a playful salute and smiled, "how ya doing, Elliot?"

"Good, Sarge. What type of torture are we looking at today?"

"Well," Roger smiled and nodded to Olivia, "I thought you might like to show her how to play tennis," he said and held a tennis ball in the palm of his hand.

Elliot smiled, "Okay," he agreed and slowly raised his damaged hand until his hand covered the ball and his fingers began to grasp it.

Olivia smiled and watched as Elliot stared at the ball and slowly lifted it from Rogers hand as if it were a shot put rather than a tennis ball. Painstakingly, he slowly turned and held the ball out to Olivia who happily took it and kissed him, "You're an amazing man."

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"How's school?" Don asked as he smiled down at Hannah in his arms.

"It's difficult… I'd forgotten how hard it is," Olivia exhaled, "I have a huge test tomorrow and I'm not ready."

"Should I go?" Don asked softly.

"No," Olivia shook her head, "No, please? It's so quiet around here."

"Sam's not talking?"

"Nope," she exhaled, "he just got home from the pool and he's napping, he'll get up in an hour eat dinner and listen to some Spanish television and go back to sleep."

"Swimming and Spanish?"

"Yeah, he's on a team, he's got a meet the first week in July. I have no idea where the Spanish fascination came from."

"Think Elliot will be home by the time his meet starts?"

Olivia exhaled, "I don't know, it's been three weeks since he's waken up. Some days he makes tremendous strides and some days it seems like he stays stagnant for a few."

"He move his legs yet?"

"Just the toes of the leg that was shattered… he doesn't like for me to go with him to PT, but he knows when he gets home I have to do it with him anyway, so… I don't know."

"You look tired.'

"Haven't slept well… I miss him," she confessed.

Don smiled softly and sat Hannah on his thigh bouncing her softly as she laughed, "You see him every day don't you?"

"I miss him being home," she exhaled, "I miss… us."

"He being stubborn?"

"Only ninety percent of the time… that's an improvement," she chuckled, "I understand though, it's got to be so frustrating… but, the most he lets me help him is with his meals. If he has to go to restroom he prefers… a stranger over me."

Don covered her hand with his, "It's not about preference, Olivia. It's his pride."

"Screw his pride! I'm his wife," she snapped and ran her hands through her hair, "I'm sorry Don."

"Don't be," he smiled, "I just came by to see how you were doing… haven't talked with you since-"

"I know… maybe I'm a little prideful too… it's was, uh, humiliating to hand you my badge," she confessed and traced the wood grain of the kitchen table.

Don exhaled, "I'm sorry that had to happen. You were a good cop."

"I made a bad choice and I had to step up to the plate, even though… from what I'm told, I had a little help from the dug out."

Don chuckled, "Uh, no comment."

Olivia smiled, "How's Carp?"

Don groaned, "He's an irritating kid if I've ever seen one."

"But he's good isn't he?" she smirked.

"Yeah, he is," he said and passed Hannah to Olivia, "I've got to get going, but… you know, I… I'm sorry things worked out this way."

Olivia smiled sadly, "I'm home with my kids and I'm able to be with Elliot, I'm happy. I'm not a cop anymore and at times I miss it, but… I'm a mom and a wife too, it's time for me to grow into those roles, to really know them."

Don smiled and hugged her gently, "I still think of you as my d-"

"I know," she sniffled and hugged him tighter, "I think of you the same way, so… stop by more often, huh?" she smiled and released him, "It's easier to get one person here than five into the city."

Don kissed Hannah's cheek softly, "Bye little girl, keep an eye on your mommy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You bring it?" Elliot smiled.

"Got it," Mac grinned and held up the Sports page.

"Who won?" Elliot asked anxiously.

Mac smiled and unfolded the paper laying it in Elliot's lap, "You tell me… open it. I open it for you all the time, you open it today."

Elliot took a deep breath and a little faster than normal, he opened the paper, a grin spreading over his face, "Man, you owe me money."

"Yeah?"

"Slaughtered your team," Elliot smiled, "read it and weep, fifty bucks, pay up."

Mac peered down at the paper, "Damn," he withdrew his wallet and handed it to Elliot, "If you want it, get it out."

Elliot cocked his brow, "That wasn't part of the bet."

"You want the cash?"

Elliot exhaled and slowly rested his hands on the tray and manipulated the wallet, "Since when do you have a Velcro wallet?"

"Since you need to work on dexterity… shut up and open it, old man."

Elliot chuckled and gripped the Velcro flap rolling his lips inward as he slowly pulled the fabric apart and used his fingers to open the wallet to his prize. "Can you bring me a pair of jeans with a button buckle? Not a snap, a buckle," Elliot asked having trouble with the wallet.

"Why?"

Elliot chuckled mischeiviously, "Wouldn't you like to know… can you? I need to practice opening them."

Mac was about to say something until he realized what Elliot was getting at, "I'm sure she'll appreciate it… I'll bring them by tomorrow."

Elliot smirked, "Thanks," he muttered and forced his mind to pinch his fingers together, he withdrew money and frowned, "Jackass, you did that on purpose."

"Doc said you needed work on your simple mathematics."

He exhaled, "Don't tell my wife."

"I haven't told her I've seen you every day you were in this god forsaken place. And I haven't told her that you're holding out on her to surprise her. Why is this different? Count the damn money," he smiled. "You only get fifty, remember that," he teased.

Elliot stared at the money, "Twenty," he said and slid the bill to the side, "that's twenty bucks that you don't have, my friend."

"Yeah, yeah, keep counting."

It was the five next to the ten that confused him, his brows furrowed and he smiled, "I'll just take the fifty," he said and rested his fingers on the five.

Mac nodded softly, "No, Elliot," he said softly and held up the bill, "what is this?"

Elliot narrowed his eyes and groaned, "Sorry, I thought it was it."

"It's okay," Mac smiled, "So, we've got a twenty and a five, what else do we need to bankrupt me?"

"A wife," Elliot laughed and then stilled, "Wait… um, I don't know why, but I feel like I shouldn't have told you that."

Mac shrugged, "You're an old man, you're loosing your mind," he teased, "its understandable… keep counting."

Elliot exhaled and matched the twenty with another one and slid a ten next to it, "I'll take this and you can give me five back," he smiled confidently. "It might take me awhile, I might be old, but I'm a damn genius."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mommy!" Isaac yelled and hauled his little body just as fast as he could to his mother's room. "Mommy!" he shrieked and promptly crawled onto the bed as she sat up from sleep.

"Isaac?" she rubbed her eyes as he fell into her body and cried, "monkey," she wrapped her arms around him, "you're shaking… what's wrong?"

"Daddy?" he cried and rubbed his eyes, "Where Daddy?"

"I'm sorry son. It's taking a little longer isn't it?" she asked as she continued to hold him in the darkness. "Did you have a dream and you want Daddy?"

He pointed towards the nursery and made gestures with his hands as he hiccupped and struggled to communicate, "Boom Boom. Nana owies."

She furrowed her brow, "Hannah?"

"Owies. Sam Sam say 'go see horsy." He cried and raised his hands bringing them down to his belly, "Boom boom, Nana cry. Solo big."

"Honey," she tilted her head and searched his face in curiosity. "Are you telling me about that night?" she asked and wiped his tears.

"No sockies," he jetted out his bottom lip and cried, "coldies, Mommy."

Olivia exhaled finally figuring that at two O'clock in the morning her two year old son probably wasn't pondering about that night so much as having a nightmare about it. She pulled the comforter back, "Climb in monkey," she whispered groggily and waited for him to curl up next to her, his face buried in her neck as she covered him with the comforter and ran her hand through his hair, "Better?"

He sniffled, "Horsy?"

"Zeus?"

He nodded sadly, "Want Zoos."

"Well, I think Mac wouldn't mind if we picked up Zeus, it's been awhile since you got to sleep with him hasn't it? But wasn't it nice of Mac to watch him while we visited Aunt Alex and Uncle Robert?" Isaac nodded against her and curled his legs so his toes met the warmth of her exposed abdomen, she jumped and laughed as she covered his feet with her hand, "Your toes are cold."

He rested his chubby hand on her cheek and locked his blue eyes with hers, "Want Daddy."

She smiled softly and kissed his forehead, "Me too."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sorry!" Olivia exclaimed as she slid to a stop beside Elliot's bed and let her school bag drop to the floor, "Killer test," she smiled and lowered her lips to meet his. She kissed him softly and moved to turn away when he surprised her by cupping the back of her head and holding her against him. She hummed against his mouth and smiled upon separation, "Wow," she chuckled, "I see the physical therapy on your coordination is improving."

He waggled his brows, "No oatmeal in my lap this morning."

Olivia grinned, "Really? That's good. I'm happy to hear that."

"Daniela is too," he chuckled, "I think she gets tired of cleaning it."

Olivia grinned and stretched herself next to him, "I love you," she told him and rubbed his chest softly, "How was P.T?"

He shrugged, "Same box of crap different wrapping."

"Any progress?"

"Ehh."

She traced the underside of his beard that she'd trimmed down to healthy stubble the day before, "Why can't I be there with you? It's been almost four weeks."

He groaned, "Liv-"

"Elliot, I want to be there with you. I want to see your progress, I'm your wife and I feel like your shutting me out of this and it's not fair. It's not right."

"Fair?" He narrowed his brows at her, "Fair?" he asked incredulously.

"Forget it," she shook her head and sat up, "I'm not gonna fight with you Elliot. I'm too tired." She reached for her bag and pulled out a catalogue before resting next to him again, burying irritation and anger at his stubbornness. "Did you know shopping for a wheel chair is like shopping for a car?" she tried to smile but felt her anger boiling.

"Wheel chair?"

"Yeah, you've got your basic chair on wheels that weighs a ton and you've got your light weights and your sporty fast ones, electric, and-"

"Wheel chair?" he narrowed his brow at her again, "I'm not sitting in a damn wheel chair."

She raised her brows, "Oh… you can walk? Well, why didn't you say something?" she stood and pulled his blanket back, "Get up, lets go home," she told him.

He exhaled and growled, "You know I can't."

She held up the catalogue, "Thus the chair, Elliot," she shook her head, "why are you being so stubborn about this? The doctors say you're doing so well and it's just a matter of time. Who cares if you need a chair for awh-"

"I CARE!" he fumed, "I care, damnit!"

She bit the inside of her cheek and dropped her voice, "Either you pick one, or I pick one, and I swear Elliot, I'll get the one with pink rims," she warned him.

He turned his face from her and stared out the window, "Pick which ever one you want."

She swallowed hard and was just about ready to loose her control when Roger stepped into the room, "I got room for the elderly," he smiled and frowned at Olivia, "I'm sorry, am I interrupting?"

Olivia cleared her throat and held her tears at bay, "Elliot? Is he?"

Elliot exhaled, "My wife was just leaving."

Olivia nodded softly and put the catalogue on his tray. She kissed his temple gently, "I love you. But so help me, you keep pushing me away and we're not gonna make it through this."

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Elliot groaned in pain as Roger helped him sit up, "You got to swing your legs, man."

"This coming from a guy whose legs work," Elliot bit out, holding himself up with his hands and willing his legs to move which they didn't. He exhaled, let his upper body fall back onto the bed, "Just get out."

"Uh… screw you," Roger smiled, "sit back up and move your legs one at a time with your hands if you have to, but think about it the whole time."

"No," Elliot exhaled, "No, get out. Leave me alone!"

Roger smiled and simply sat down, "Your wife looked pretty upset when she left. Crying in fact… what'd you do?"

Elliot shook his head, "Doesn't matter. She'll leave me eventually."

Roger shrugged, "If Daniela pushed me like you push her, I'd of left your grumpy ass a long time ago."

"Comforting," Elliot snipped.

"It's the truth… man that woman has been by your side every step of the way and you've made every attempt to push her further away. What happened to you was wrong man, no one is trying to take away your right to be pissed off. You've got a lot on your plate, I know that, but, have you stopped to figure out what she's got on hers?"

Elliot exhaled, "She deserves better than some crippled, useless guy… she wants to put me in a damn chair, man."

"Ah, the chair fight… those are always interesting," Roger chuckled and grabbed Elliot under his arms pulling him back into a sitting position.

"How's that?"

"You think you're the only one that doesn't want a chair?"

"I didn't say that," he shook his head, "I just… I don't want her to see me in one."

"Well," Roger told him as he showed him how to hold his leg behind his knee, "want in one hand and crap in the other and see which one get fuller quicker… this injury doesn't effect just you."

"I know that," Elliot growled as he, for the first time, brought his leg to the side of the bed and let it hang freely, albeit painfully.

"That hurt?" Roger asked.

"Absolutely," Elliot panted.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Means you can feel," Roger smiled. "Get the other leg over here… get the lead out of your butt, man. You had to be the slowest marine in your unit," he teased. Elliot understood it, he understood that Roger wasn't about the mushy motivational bull crap; he was prior military and would use that to Elliot's advantage.

Elliot managed to sit on the edge of his bed with his legs hanging for the first time since the attacks. He felt like a small piece of normalcy was being restored to him despite the fact that he still couldn't move his legs at his own will, "I love me wife," he whispered, "she's the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me."

"You should tell her that," Roger said and pulled up a hospital issued wheel chair, "come on, let's take you down to the physical therapy room. This room bites."

Elliot laughed, "I can't stand. How do you expect me to get in the chair?"

Roger shrugged and pushed the chair near Elliot before sitting down, "You tell me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Horsy!" Isaac squawked and ran quickly to the front door where Mac stood with an eagerly awaiting Zeus.

"Easy, Isaac," Olivia cautioned, "you don't want to hurt him."

Mac chuckled, "Please, this dog is healed up and ready to go pal around with a certain blond two-year-old."

"Really?" Olivia kneeled in front of the dog and pet him adoringly as Isaac wrapped his arms around Zeus' neck and squeezed through a giggle. Olivia kissed Zeus' head and smiled down at him, "Thank you." Zeus' brown eyes locked with his master's and his tail wagged frantically. "Honey," Olivia smiled at Isaac, "take Zeus out side to go potty and play. But don't ride him," she told him firmly, "Understand?"

"No horsy," Isaac nodded and grabbed what had become _his_ dog and led him out into the back yard.

"Thank you so much for taking care of him," Olivia told Mac, "Want something to eat or drink?"

"No," he smiled softly, "I uh have to get back to the house, Fin has been working a case, I told him I'd come in so he can grab a few winks."

"Oh," she nodded, "how much do I own you for Zeus?"

Mac blushed, "Benson… come on, don't do that."

"Mac," she tilted her head with a smile, "come, on. I know there had to medicines and food, and believe me, Zeus may not be a horse but he certainly eats like one."

Mac chuckled, "He's fond of steak."

"Steak!" Olivia laughed, "I hope he's not used to it, 'cause me and the kids aren't even eating steak these days."

Mac chuckled, "No, no I had just made one and was getting ready to sit down and eat it. I had to answer the phone… came back and the steak suddenly disappeared and someone's breath smelled suspiciously like my fathers recipe for marinade."

Olivia grinned, "He never did that here."

He shrugged, "I think the meds made him loopy. No big, every dog has his day right?"

Olivia smiled sadly, "Yeah, every dog."

"Sam knows about Tripod?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"How's he taking it?"

"Not well but, he's not taking anything well. Cries. Still doesn't eat like he should. Loosing weight, won't play with his brothers or sister."

"It's been quite awhile."

Olivia exhaled, "I know. He knows that his dad is awake but he doesn't want to see him."

Mac rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

"What?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "what? Why are you suddenly edgy?"

He exhaled, "Benson, Stabler will kill me if I tell you this, but-"

"You've visited him in the hospital."

Mac looked at her in shock, "He told you?"

"No… you bring him the Sports page, there's been a couple of magazines you've brought him… you should take the address labels off of them before you leave them in a public place," she smiled. "Detective, remember?"

Mac shook his head and smiled, "Yeah… I don't know why he doesn't want you to know."

She licked her lips and folded he arms over her chest, "I don't know why he does a lot of things he's doing right now."

"Fin and Carp see him, The Cap has stopped by a few times."

"I figured they would," Olivia nodded, "they stop by here and they were careful to come by when I was staying at the Gray's… you're all good to me, to my family. Thank you."

"No need for thanks, um…-"

"What?"

"Elliot has been pissy lately, more so then his _normal_ pissy mood… I'm not trying to be nosey but… is there something going on?"

She exhaled and lowered her head.

"Is it money? I can write you a check right now to get you guys by, how much do you need?" he asked her and started to pull out his wallet.

"No," she smiled softly, "no, Mac. We're good. We're cutting corners and we don't eat out and were careful with the money we have. That's not it at all."

"Then? Can I help with something?"

She bit her lip, "We had an argument at the hospital."

"This still about the chair?"

"He told you?"

"Yeah… well, he needed my help with something and he told me."

"Oh," she nodded, "yeah, well-"

"Is that why you haven't stopped by to visit him in the last few days?"

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"Hey Roger," Daniela smiled from the nurses station.

"Yeah?" he grinned at her, "what's up?"

"What's with Mr. Stabler? He's got a mean streak going for the past few days. Won't eat, pissed at the world type of thing."

Roger exhaled, "Had the wheel chair fight with the Misses a few days ago. He thinks she hasn't come to visit him, but she comes really early in the morning or late at night when he's sleeping, just sits in the corner of his room and stares at him, asked the staff not to tell him."

"How's his PT?"

"Good, his stubbornness will pay off there, but it's gonna test his wife."

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"Watch'ya doing?" Olivia smiled and kissed Sam's cheek softly. He shook his head softly and raised his CD box up.

"Ah, social studies… I bet you wish Dad was here to he-"

He slammed his CD played onto the table and slid off of his chair to go to his room.

She closed her own text book, no longer concerned with the oral presentation she would have to give to a classroom of people ten years younger than her. She rested her elbows on the table and rubbed her palms together. The tears had come just as freely as they'd been coming for the last several months only this time they were accompanied by such a desolate feeling. Accompanied by sobs she couldn't control as she cried into her hands. Alone.

Uncontrollably.

Inconsolably.

"Mommy Sad?" Isaac asked softly.

Olivia quickly sat up straight and wiped at her face, "No baby," she forced a smile and pulled him up into her lap, "how's my monkey?"

"Mommy Sad," he said again and pawed at her tears just like she'd done on so many occasions to his own, "Its OK mommy. Daddy home soon."

She closed her eyes and nodded, "Yeah, you're right, real soon, just as soon as he can get himself into a chair we can take him home… isn't that great?"

He looked at his mother curiously and tried to use his pointer fingers to raise the corners of her mouth into a smile, but when all that Olivia could offer was more tears, he wrapped his short arms around her neck, "I luv you, Mommy," he told her in a gentle voice and kissed her cheek tenderly, "No cry. Daddy home soon."


	49. Chapter 49 Baby Steps

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 49: Baby Steps

Olivia pulled up the chair that she'd been sitting in for the past four days. The same chair she occupied since Elliot had pushed her away for the umpteenth time. She stared at her husband as Solomon and Hannah lay asleep in their car seats at her feet. She felt the ache in her forearms, if anyone ever wanted a good workout, they should try lugging two six-month-old babies around a hospital.

Hannah began to fuss in her sleep and Olivia promptly responded by rocking the car seat with the toe of her shoe as she watched their little girl slowly drift back into calm. She'd been in this same spot for four days, listened to Elliot's nightmares, his pleas for mercy that confirmed what White had said.

Elliot begged.

She didn't see it as humiliating but knew Elliot did. She would have begged. She would have begged for her children and she would have, after a beating like that, begged for her life, or the end of it for that matter.

"Liv?" Elliot called groggily through the darkness and laboriously pulled the thin line above his head turning on the light, his eyes blinking rapidly until they focused on her, "Olivia," he smiled softly and then frowned. "Is everything okay? It's late… I've missed you. Why didn't you come back?"

She furrowed her brow and blinked rapidly before finally settling her gaze on him and standing to close the gap between them. She rested her hand on his cheek and kissed the corner of his mouth softly, "Did you really think I wouldn't visit?" she whispered.

He swallowed hard and covered her hand with his, "I'm sorry for what I said-"

"Answer my question," she said softly, "did you really think I wouldn't be here?"

He looked around and then rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, "I haven't seen you. And it's okay," he added quickly and reached up to swipe her tear with his thumb. His coordination finally normal although his movement were just a little slower than his normal pace.

"I've been here," she said and slowly took a seat on a chair, keeping his hand about her face, "I have, I just… I didn't want to fight with you anymore. I'm so tired," she cried, "and I'm so scared and I don't know what to do and you keep pushing me away and I feel like I lost you and I don't know how to get you back because every time I come close to finding you, you hide again."

"Oh, Liv-"

She shook her head, "Stop hiding from me, Elliot. I can't take it. I'm breaking and I'm scared. I'm trying to be strong for the kids and I'm trying to act like everything is fine and you're coming home soon and I know you are but, is this what it's gonna be like at home? Will you shut me out there too? Will you shut me out like Sam has?"

"Oh, baby," he whispered and tugged on her hand to lye next to him. "Lay with me, be here like you always have. I want you here."

"You don't have to say that," she whispered. "I don't want you to do this because you think you're hurting me. I just want you back Elliot, and I told you, I don't care about making love and I don't care about you being in a wheel chair, but I _do_ care if you push me away… I can't stand it, it's excruciating. It's already hard not to wake up to you, not to feel you next to me, but… don't take your heart from me too. Please?" she whispered and buried her face into his hand as she wept over the covers of the bed "Please, El, I'm begging you, don't push me away anymore."

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"You ready," Roger asked with a smile, "this could be your ticket out of this hell hole."

Elliot smiled and slipped on a white tee shirt Roger had passed him. The attire would be boxers and a tee and although he didn't have the range of motion to put the tee on quickly like he used to, he settled for being able to put it on like Isaac could. Head first then one arm at a time before smoothing it out, "Did it come?"

"Yep, you got the most expensive one."

Elliot grinned, "I've got good taste. My buddy, Mac-"

"The marine?"

"Yeah, he helped me with the paperwork. I was gonna surprise Olivia, but uh… she came by the hospital a few nights ago and I had an epiphany."

"That you were an ass?" Roger grinned.

"Yep. A big one, she's been coming back at the same time she normally does, but I wanted her to do this with me."

"I think she's gonna be surprised."

"At what?" Olivia asked form the doorway, "El, loose to you in poker again? That's not a surprise, Roger. That's a regular occurrence," she laughed and made her way to her husband, wrapping her arm around him and kissing his mouth, "Mmm," she smiled against him and ran her hands over his torso, "what's with the shirt? Who are you all dolled up for?"

"You," Roger smiled.

"Me?" Olivia waggled her brows at Elliot, "Really?"

"Oh, yeah," Elliot grinned, "I'm gonna throw your entire world off kilter today."

Olivia grinned as Roger told them he'd return shortly, "What's with the mystery?" she asked and stretched out next to her husband.

He wrapped his arm around her and gave her a gentle squeeze, it was still nowhere as strong as it normally would have been but it was confident and it was the first time he did it so smoothly and without needing her help, "I missed your birthday."

She smiled sadly, "Its okay. It's understandable… I saw you though. I did, and that was the best present I could have had."

He grinned, "Not as good as the one I'm gonna give you today."

She ran her hand over his beard and kissed him again, "Is this bothering you?"

"Not really," he shrugged, "I sort of like it. Not long like when I woke up but I like it when you trim it down. I like the goatee, too. You want me to have a goatee for now on or this? Maybe I'll stay with this for awhile longer."

She chuckled and ran her hand along his abdomen. Going months without making love to him had driven her utterly insane, but she knew she shouldn't try anything, shouldn't pressure him or have any expectation, in fact, she knew there was still the possibility of them never regaining a sex life again. From what his chart read he hadn't gained an erection at any time while in the hospital nor had he regained feeling on the underside of his shaft.

He hadn't talked much to her about it, in fact, not at all since the time she told him what his injuries really were. She was careful to make her touches loving but not enticing and she was careful to let their kisses be simple lingering pecks rather than the sensual lip locks they normally shared. She wanted him to decide when he was ready for something more and so she slowly removed her hand from his waist and rested it high on his chest.

He looked down at her and saw that glimmer in her eyes that he recognized was her tell all sign she was usually thinking about him and her thoughts were more than likely naughty. "You're gonna singe your wings if you keep thinking those types of thoughts about me," he teased.

She looked up at him and blushed, "How do you know what I'm thinking?"

He smiled, "I told you, I know everything that goes on in this hospital. I know that Roger is gonna ask Daniela to marry him. I know that that one nurse that shaved all of her long hair off, did it for a little girl in the pediatrics unit that lost her hair after chemo. I know that Fin has the hots for the LVN at the front desk and I know that Mac has been rubber necking the chief resident, but for some reason he doesn't go after her."

Olivia smirked, "You're such a gossip queen, Elliot."

"King, Liv. I'm a gossip _King_."

She smiled softly and looked up at him, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you… think about me?"

"All the time. I wish you'd brought pizza. I keep meaning to ask b-"

She covered his lips with her finger, "No," she said softly, "I mean, do you _think_ about me?"

He chuckled, "Not only have my wings caught fire, my halo is hanging on by a thread." She blushed and rested her cheek back on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her arm, "Of course I think about you. I think about you… like that… probably more than I should but… it's been a long time, you know?"

"I know… I was just wondering, if… I mean, your upper body is almost back to normal, your hand is flexing and even though there's still numbness, it's getting better every day-"

Elliot exhaled, "I'm sorry, Liv," he shook his head, "nothing happens. I want it to, but… nothing does. They're bringing the specialist in and uh… I don't know. I guess we'll see… I'm scared about it though. I really am," he confessed and rested his chin on her head as he held her tighter, "The thought of never making love to you the way I always have… well lets just say, I_ try_ to keep my mind _in_ the gutter, in the hopes my body will spring into action."

She chuckled and wiped at her cheek, "El… I meant what I said. I just want you home. The other stuff, we'll worry about la-"

"Kiss me."

She looked up at him, "I just did when I got here. One isn't enough?"

"No," he shook his head. "That was, 'hey, honey, how was your day' type of kiss. I want one of your _real_ kisses."

She grinned and shook her head, "Uh, El," she cleared her throat, "If you haven't made love to me in months, that means I haven't made love to you in months, which means… we probably shouldn't even have this conversation, right now."

He grinned, "I want a kiss."

She closed her eyes and smiled before moving her body up on the bed and hovering over his lips, she opened her eyes revealing much darker pools than what he saw just seconds ago, "You sure you can handle it?" she asked in a voice so coated with sex Elliot's brow raised and while there was no sensation where he truly wanted there to be, he could still feel his heart race.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Can you?"

She leaned in closer, her breath mixing with his. She swallowed and licked her lips, "Probably not."

He narrowed his eyes in a cockiness she was glad to see, "I didn't think so," he whispered just before her lips covered his softly, his lips separating and accepting her timid tongue. He felt her hand caresses his face, her breast mesh against his chest as her kiss gained confidence. She tilted her head, deepened the kiss and teased every inch of his mouth with the tip of her tongue. Her reward, his moan; the vibration of his enjoyment against her lips.

He pulled her closer to him, felt her nipples rise through her shirt and stab into his skin, his hand finding his way to her bottom and caressing her form as his other hand ran the length of her side. She whimpered at his caress and sipped from his lower lip before running her tongue along his teeth and feeling him push her out of his mouth as he entered her own. They're breaths were taken deeply through their nose, unwilling to break contact. She felt the warmth of his hand rise further along her side and her body instantly flashed hot. She felt his thumb graze her nipple, felt herself pool and instantly broke away panting as she rested her cheek against his, "You can't do that to me."

He chuckled, "Sure I can."

She groaned trying to get her body under control as he grazed her nipple again, "El," she pleaded in a tight voice and rested her forehead against his. "This isn't good for me," she grinned, "I mean it is, but… I'm gonna get myself into trouble."

He caressed her face, pushed her hair to the side, "I wasn't upset."

She furrowed her brows, "What?"

He traced her swollen lips with his fingertip and she was amazed that he could do it. That his tactile abilities were so good now, "You told me you masturbated-"

She looked down in embarrassment and he tilted her face back up, "I wasn't upset that you let yourself come."

She was about to protest, then realized something, "You heard me?"

He grinned, "I did. Sometimes so clear I knew you were right there talking to me, other times, not so clear, like maybe I was dreaming." She smiled, kissed him again and sucked softy on the tip of his tongue before letting go, "How many times, Liv?"

She pulled back, "How many times, what?"

He smiled broadly, "How many times did you masturbate while I was off in La La Land?"

She groaned, "Elliot… you'd better pick a different topic, or I'm gonna be in a bind."

He narrowed his eyes at her in playfulness, "Maybe I like to see you flustered… how many?"

She chuckled and shook her head, "Um… four."

"_Four_?" he furrowed his brow, "Four? That's not much," he smiled and squeezed her bottom again. "You've got to be wound up."

"And neither your touch nor this conversation is helping."

He kissed her chin and lips, "Why so little?"

"El," she whined, "don't do this to me. It's gonna make me want you so bad. I'm already stuck with months of wanting you and not having you and now you're touching me like this, and I'm so turned on right now that I can't think straight."

He cupped the back of her head and kissed her cheek, finding her ear with his lips, "Good… tell me. Why so little?"

She kissed him softly, couldn't stop her hips from slowly pressing into his body, "It wasn't you, I told you…it's never the same when it's not you," for a moment she wondered if she should have said that. If he could have read into it. What if they had to resort to some other means of pleasure, what if… it was never as good as it was, if he was never as good?

Elliot raised his brow and trailed his hand down the center of her body, "I'm here now," he said and stroked her through her jeans."

She buried her face in his neck, held tight to him before groaning and standing up, "Messed up, Elliot."

He laughed, "You want me."

She smiled and let out a deep breath just as Roger walked in pushing a wheel chair, "Hmm," he looked back and forth between them, "you look flushed, Mrs. Stabler. You okay? Sick?"

Olivia cleared her throat as Elliot grinned at her from the bed and winked, "She does look a little flushed, doesn't she, Sarge?" Elliot said, "A little hot… you hot, honey?" he asked.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and shook her head, "No… just uh… preoccupied… what's with the wheels?" she asked in a desperate attempt to get the focus off of her. She could still feel the tightness of her breast and quickly crossed her arms over her body.

"I'll leave that to Elliot," Roger smirked.

"El?" Olivia furrowed her brow and nodded to the chair, "what's going on?"

"I told you, I'm gonna blow your mind," he smiled.

"Uh," she cleared her throat and blushed. "Wasn't that what you were doing?"

He chuckled, "Na, that was a teaser, this is an appetizer."

"Appetizer?"

"Watch and see," Elliot told her and motioned for Roger to bring him the chair. "Mac stopped by and helped me with the paper work… here's my ride," he grinned and waved to the chair.

Olivia smiled softly and rested her chin in her palm as she sat, "Thank you, Elliot."

He smirked, "Oh, that's not all," he assured her.

"Nope," Roger agreed, "the old man has been working on this for while."

Elliot smiled and threw his blankets back revealing legs that were still badly scarred from injury and surgeries. Legs that were swollen and lacking their usual muscle definition. Olivia watched in curiosity, "Practiced what?"

"She really _can't_ handle anticipation," Roger smiled, "you weren't joking."

Elliot laughed and then grew quiet as he sat up on his own will. It was slow, his movements controlled before slowly grabbing his injured knee and moving it so that it swung freely off the side of the bed. Olivia arched her brows in surprise but, it was when his once shattered leg moved without the assistance of his hand, when his leg dragged itself slowly and clumsily to meet the other that she covered her mouth with her palms and cried.

"Wow, El-"

Roger held up a hand, "Wait-wait," he said quickly as he held Elliot's gaze, "don't break his concentration. This is a very mental game he's playing right now."

Olivia watched in silence as tears streamed her face. Elliot wrapped one arm around Rogers' shoulders, his other balling the material of his scrubs in his fist. Olivia watched, utterly stunned as Elliot shifted his hips once… then twice… yet a third time until he slipped off of the mattress and braced himself against Roger. Olivia gasped as Elliot's bare feet hit the ground.

Elliot's feet were on the ground.

Her husband was standing up.

His body was shaking, his knees were oddly bent and he was laboring for every breath he took. She saw the strain in his face as he held tight to Roger, "Chair," he groaned and held out his hand to support his soft landing into his wheel chair. He panted as he adjusted his own legs. He let his head fall behind him as he continued to struggle for breath. He held out his hand and closed his fingers around Olivia's as he caught his breath, "Happy Birthday, baby."

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"You're really letting me go to PT with you?" Olivia asked, still amazed that, while he'd asked her to push him softly, he still let his hands grip the wheel to propel himself.

"Yep, that's the main course."

"Main course?" she smiled as they stepped into the elevator Roger told her would take them to his 'play ground of torture' as he called it.

"Yeah," Elliot smiled as the doors closed and he reached out to push the button that corresponded to the floor they need to go to, "Where are the kid-"

She cut him off and angled his head up to her as she bent low to kiss him, her tongue stroking him gently and while she knew her tears were spotting his shirt, she also knew he didn't care. She separated from him, nuzzled his nose with her own, "Pretty amazing birthday present."

He smirked, "Well, I'm a pretty amazing guy… or so my wife keeps telling me."

She grinned, "You've been holding out on me."

"Wanted it to be a surprise."

She heard the elevator ding and kissed him softly on the cheek, "Thank you."

He smiled, "Let's roll, I got expensive wheels here, this is like the Saleen of chairs."

She laughed and helped him over the bump of elevator frame and while he wouldn't admit that he was already tired, she knew he was when he stopped letting his hands track the wheels. He let one rest in his lap, the other reached to touch her hand as she pushed him along.

"No pink rims, huh?" she teased and rubbed his hand with her thumb, letting her eyes scan for the room number.

He chuckled softly, "No… maybe next time. I can get pink wheels and be Sam's mascot," he told her and pointed to the room they needed to go to.

She wheeled him in and Roger grinned at them both, "How did a crazy old man like you land her?"

Elliot laughed, "Man, I ask myself that every day I wake up, and every night I go to sleep."

Olivia smiled softly and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and lowered her lips to his ear, "I love you."

"Let's get'er done," Roger smiled. "Haul your boney ass up here."

Elliot shook his head with a smile, "He's rude to me, Liv."

"He's getting the job done," she laughed, "do you want me to sit over there?"

Elliot grabbed her forearm and looked up at her, "No. No, I wanted… you … to uh, help me."

Olivia raised her brow, "Help you? Like with your PT?"

He nodded, "Yeah… I know I've been harsh to you, but… if you'd help me-"

"It's done," she whispered softly. "Tell me what to do."

Elliot slowly mustered the strength to wheel himself to the platform mat, "Well, I got in this chair… now I got to get out."

Olivia nodded "Kay, what do I do?"

"Support him like this," Roger instructed her, "and he's pretty good about doing the rest."

"Alright," Olivia nodded and braced him under his arms, feeling his muscles flex as he pushed himself off of the seat and across to the mattress of the platform. A grunt and curse until he finally made his destination. He held her body just under her own arms as he rested and sneakily, he swiped his thumb over her nipple.

Her eyes widened and she quickly pulled away to which he quickly lifted and lowered his brows and shot her a cocky grin. She chuckled and shook her head but was humbled and amazed as Elliot and Roger walked her through his exercises. Her hands about his feet as he pushed against her. His hand gripping and releasing tennis balls in her own palm. Their fingertips touching softly in a test of coordination. Of trust.

"I think we're gonna walk today," Roger told them both.

"What?" Elliot looked at him as Olivia stared wide eyed.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna put you on the rails."

"But-"

"You wanted a main course, right?" he grinned, "Exercises bite… you got that down. Let's walk."

"But-"

"It wasn't an option," Roger told him with a firm stare, "get back in your chair and let's go. Show her what a marine is all about."

"But-"

"Yeah, El," she kneeled next to the platform. "Show me… let's do it together."

"Majority wins," Roger smiled. "I'll be waiting for you at the rails," he said and pointed to the location.

Olivia helped Elliot back into his chair just as she had helped him onto the platform. She pushed him to the railings and Roger grinned, "Thank everything that is holy that he's got the upper body of Greek god… it's gonna make this a whole lot easier."

Olivia smiled "You don't have to tell me about Greek god, believe me. I know."

Elliot raised his brows, his mouth went slack and he blushed, "Uh… thanks, Liv."

"Alright, I want to see you move those legs. You don't have to put all your weight on them, but you'd better get up to those rails, roach."

"Roach," Elliot laughed, "I've graduated form maggot to roach, Simper Fi, baby."

Olivia chuckled, "Show me what'cya got."

"Hold on," Roger said. "Let's give him a pretty destination," he chuckled and led Olivia to stand in the center of the bars. She stood nervously as he looked at her as if everything hindered on this one moment and somehow she understood that, to him, it did. "Alright," Roger started, "I'm gonna lift you out of the chair and I want you to look at your wife and nowhere else, understand?"

Elliot nodded, already locking his eyes onto hers. Roger instructed him to grab hold of the bars on either side of his body and Elliot did so and was quickly raised out of the chair, his cheeks puffing out as Roger quickly pulled the chair away and stood behind him, "Go to her, man. Show her you're not giving up."

Elliot's gaze faltered as he tried to grip the rails, "No-no-no," Olivia told him softly, "look at me. Look at me."

He caught her gaze, held it and painstakingly dragged his right leg along the floor, his toes curling under until his heel slapped the floor. His stare was intense, it wasn't going _through_ her, it was focused _solely_ on her, flooding her and searing her at the same time. She watched as he shifted his weight on his arms and pulled his left foot out. The perspiration already gathering from his attempts. He shifted his weight to one arm, walked the other hand further up the railing and closed his eyes against the pain and exhaustion of this seemingly simple task.

"Look at me," she encouraged softly, watching as his body shook, "I'm just two more steps, baby. I'm right here."

"Keep looking at your destination," Roger encouraged. "She's pretty. I'm sure you'll get a fat kiss once you get there. You just got to get there."

Elliot groaned and dragged his other leg forward, remembering a time, not too long ago, when Casey was in the same position. How on earth she dealt with this type of pain was beyond his comprehension and the times that she did come to the hospital to see him she never discussed his recovery, instead she stuck to his children, her new job. How happy she was spending time at home.

Elliot bit down hard on his lip and groaned in pain.

"One more step, Elliot. Come on," Olivia encouraged, "I'm right here-"

His arms buckled from exhaustion and he fell catching his weight on his biceps. He shot his head back, his teeth exposed and clenched tight, growling in pain as his legs lay useless to help him back up. "Rog-"

"El," she moved to help him to which Roger told her to stay still. He moved from behind him ducked under the rail and kneeled in front of him. He wrapped his hand around the back of Elliot neck.

"Look at me, marine," he told him in a soft but authoritative voice, "marines don't quit. They don't die. Not on my watch, not in my rehab center. Get up."

Elliot shook his head, struggling to hold on, "No more."

"Get up," Roger told him again.

"Liv-" Elliot panted.

"Get up," she encouraged him. "Get up and come and kiss me. Get up."

Elliot groaned and sucked in air growling and laboring to raise his body with his arms. As soon as Roger felt comfortable, he returned to his position behind Elliot, "One more step. That's where she is."

Elliot found her stare and slowly dragged his leg in front of him until he was only inches from Olivia and he collapsed into her embrace. She took a quick step back and bent her legs slightly to hold him up. She felt him labor for breath as he held tight to her, "My… kiss."

"Slow down there," Roger laughed and wheeled his chair behind him, "take a seat before the Misses drops you like a ton of bricks."

Olivia kept one foot in front of the chair and stepped to the side with the other letting Elliot hold her as she braced their weight on the rail. The scary thing was how much weight he'd lost, mostly muscle mass. It was difficult to lower him, he was a big guy but, she knew it should have been more difficult than what it was.

She helped him with his legs and smiled up at him, "That was amazing."

He chuckled, "That was brutal!"

Roger shrugged, "They don't call this the little shop of horrors for nothing, my friend… I've got doctors to go convince that you can go home."

"Really?" Olivia grinned.

"Yep," Roger smiled, "The man pisses like a race horse, is as stubborn as a mule, eats like a pig and apparently is trying to walk like a human… seems he meets the criteria although, my guess is they're gonna want to wait a few days until he's more confidant in that chair, but relax my good man, I see a light at the end of the tunnel."

Elliot exhaled and rested his head back, "And for once, I don't hear any trains."

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"You owe me a kiss."

She grinned, "I'm not lying on that bed so you can torture me."

"You gave me your word," he arched a brow, "you're not going back on your word are you?"

She smiled, "You promise to keep your hands to yourself?"

"I promise," he grinned and his grin only widened when she approached his bedside and lay next to him.

"Thank you for letting me be a part of that today. I don't think you realize what that meant to me."

He smiled, "Didn't know I'd be walking today. That hurt."

"That's good."

"People keep saying that," he chuckled softly, "do I get my kiss?"

She smiled up at him and while she didn't cover his body, she rested one hand on either side of his head and kept her lips as close as possible without touching, "Can you handle it?"

"Well, we both know _you_ can't."

She smiled softly, "Never said otherwise," she whispered and kissed him and as soon as she did she knew it was a mistake. Her hips moved at their own will and rubbed against his hip, his hand found its way back to her breast and she quickly pulled away, "What are you doing?"

He smirked, "Breaking my promise."

She swallowed, produced a throaty, "Oh," and went back to his kiss. He massaged her nipple until she moaned and broke away, "you're putting me back in that bind we talked about."

"That's good," he whispered, "my body is hot and I feel my heart ready to jump out of my chest."

She grinned, "All from kissing me?"

He lowered his hand between them, "And maybe a little more."

"El," she groaned, "we're in a hospital."

"That's good. I'm gonna try and give you a heart attack."

She chuckled, "I see you haven't lost your cockiness."

He smiled, "I've been working a lot of my finite movements, practicing undoing jeans," he told her as he unbuttoned hers. She could feel him fumble but when he raised back up to kiss her what was a girl supposed to do? She smiled and kissed him again, whimpering once she heard the sound of her zipper start to move.

"El-"

"Pretty impressive for a couple of weeks, huh?" he whispered and sucked on her bottom lip. One hand grazing her nipple as the other slid slowly into her panties.

She lowered her gaze as soon as she felt his fingers against her, "Sorry," she whispered, "I haven't had time, to… shave the wa-"

"You're beautiful," he whispered and stroked her softly.

She kissed him again, felt his finger move slowly over her center and she knew there was no way she was going to hold out for any respectable amount of time, "Elliot."

"I want to make you come," he told her. "I had dreams for months about making you come. Let me."

She thrust her hips slowly against his hand, careful of his tired body as her own body's pressure began to build, "Not gonna make it," she moaned.

"Can't scream," he told her, "They'll code blue you."

She chuckled and he stroked slightly harder to bring her back to the moment. "I want to watch you."

"Elliot," she groaned, "so long."

"Whenever you want."

She moaned, lowered her face to his neck and held onto him, "PT is paying off."

"Yeah?" he whispered against her flesh and slipped his finger inside of her, "you don't learn _this_ here."

She whimpered, feeling his finger curl inside of her as he continued to move his thumb in circles over her core. Her breathing became more labored and he quickened the pace. "El," she chirped and rubbed into him again, covered his hand with her own and added pressure. He smiled and watched her close her eyes in enjoyment. He had wondered if he'd ever wake up to be able to do this with her again.

"Elliot," she groaned and tightened her fingers against his shoulder, burying her face in his neck and gasping as her body shuddered, pulsated around his fingertips that offered no mercy and had her quickly reaching for a second orgasm, "Oh, El," she moaned and he sought her deeper until she whimpered, his lips finding hers to quiet her as she broke and screamed into his mouth.

He withdrew his hand but not his lips until she needed breath. She rested against him and panted, "Your halo is officially gone," she smiled.

He grinned, brought his moist finger to her lips and traced them softly before kissing her again, "Happy birthday, baby."

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"Hola, Senor Silencio," Olivia smiled and flopped down next to her son as he lay on his bed.

Sam smiled and instantly curled up next to her and exhaled.

"Oh," she wrapped her arm around him, "long day?"

He nodded and pointed to his book bag.

"Lot's of homework?"

He exhaled and nodded again.

"I got lots of homework too, but guess what?"

He arched his face up to her voice and raised his brow.

"You and I are playing hookie tomorrow."

He grinned and held her shoulders a movement that had become his, 'why?'

Olivia licked her lips, "Well, what if I told you, your father was coming home tomorrow?"

Sam's smile fell right along with his shoulders and happy posture.

"Oh, baby. Come on sweetie, aren't you excited about it?"

He nodded his head, 'no'.

"No?" she tilted her head and raised his chin so she could look at him closely. The fear she saw there, the fear that wasn't there when she flopped down next to him in exhaustion didn't make sense to her. "Honey, I really need you to start talking," she whispered, "it hurts me so much that we don't talk like we use to… don't you miss that?"

He nodded his 'yes' emphatically and moved to tuck his head back to her chest. She held him still, "Baby, your dad is gonna come home tomorrow and he's gonna need a lot of our help and our encouragement. The doctor's told me that he's going to have a rough time adjusting and might be really sad for awhile. I want to make sure your father is super comfortable and that he's not worried about anything… he misses you so much-"

Sam quickly slipped out of the bed and made his way to the wall, resting his forehead against the blue paint he couldn't see and running his hand over the painted brail. Olivia closed the gap between them, wrapped her arm around his waist so her hand splayed over his belly as her other covered his searching fingers, "What are you reading?" she whispered and desperately tried to remember what was written. She made a mental note to find time and write them down before she forgot everything.

She attempted to ask again when she realized that there were spots on the wall that had been picked at, scraped down to the sheet rock. She furrowed her brow and slowly covered his scraping fingers with her hand and lowered it to his waist, "Maybe I should ask you what you're _erasing,_ huh?"

He sniffled and backed himself into her body, supporting his weight on her thighs before shaking his head and beginning to cry. "Oh, my boy," she whispered and hugged him tightly, "why won't you talk to me? The months have been so long without your voice."

He sniffled, "I'm not daddy's boy."

Without missing a beat she ran her hand over his hair and kissed his head, "Yes you are. You've always been his boy, my boy, our boy… you've always been. Even before we knew you. God made it that way and your dad and I love it that way."

Sam shook his head and sobbed turning in her embrace and pulling himself as close to her as possible, she stroked his back softly. She looked closely around the room at all the phrases that he'd scraped off. Everything that told him he was Elliot's son was scraped away, every thing that told him he was their hero, always would be, was gone.

She would repaint.

She stroked his back softly with her fingertips, found his ear with her lips, "Come to the hospital and pick up your dad with me?"

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"You sure he can eat that?" Roger smiled.

"You said it your self," Olivia chuckled and raised the small box of pizza, "he eats like a horse."

"I'm still gonna see you two three times a week, remember that," he said and playfully pawed her shoulder. "You two are fun, I look forward to working with him."

Olivia grinned, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I look forward to getting out of here as soon as possible… with him."

"No offense taken, now if you'll excuse me, I'm taking the rest of the day off to celebrate my fiancé's birthday."

"Fiancé?" Olivia's brows arched, "Wow, you popped the question to her, huh?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "Uh… I wasn't gonna, I just, well, settling down with one chick for the rest of your life is freaky stuff, man."

Olivia laughed, "And Elliot the romantic convinced you otherwise?"

Roger laughed, "That man is crazy for you… gives me hope that Daniela will look at me the same way."

Olivia blushed, "Sounds like he's still got his nose in other people's romance."

Roger shrugged, "Worked for me. Daniela thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread… I got to go, if I'm late, I'm toast."

"Pun?"

"Absolutely," he laughed and walked away. Olivia chuckled and took a deep breath walking into Elliot's room.

She grinned seeing him sitting up on his bed, his legs hanging off the side, "Hey!" she said brightly, "got you some pizza." He grinned as she placed the box next to him and kissed his face through a smile, "You ready to blow this popsicle stand?"

He chuckled, "Get me out of here."

She smiled, kissed him again, "Eat up, they're working on your paperwork."

He pulled her waist close to him, "I love you."

She bit her bottom lip and smiled, "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

"I love you too… eat before it gets cold."

He chuckled, "Can you, uh-"

"Sure," she said and braced him under his arms to help him sit against the pillows and slowly bring his legs up with his arms, "better?"

"Yeah… Sam come?"

Olivia smiled softly, "He's helping Alex and Casey at the house."

Elliot cocked his brow, "Yeah," he smiled as she handed him the pizza box, "about this, _surprise_ party… what's up with that?"

She laughed and stretched out beside him, "I told them you tried to walk, and that they were making us wait a few more days to get your arms strong… they started planning immediately."

Elliot nodded.

"You okay with it?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I'm used to visiting with people one-on-one."

"Little apprehensive?"

"Little," he confessed.

Daniela walked into the room with a grin and held up a clipboard, "I got paperwork!"

"Amen!" Elliot laughed, "Sign it and get me home. I want to see my kids."

"Alright, alright," Daniela smiled and handed the paperwork to Olivia who was chuckling at his eagerness. It was good to see him in such a positive mood.

"Hey, aren't you and Roger supposed to be somewhere?" Olivia asked as she began to sign for her husband's freedom.

"Yeah, but I wanted to be the one to see this guy off." She laughed and punched him playfully in the shoulder, "Convinced me that Roger was a pretty good catch… that I deserved him."

Olivia smiled at Elliot and rolled her eyes, "I know," she chuckled, "gossip King."

Elliot waggled his brows, "Exactly… now please, let's go!"

"Wait," Daniela smiled softly, "you got the impotency equipment the doctor gave you or did you try to send it away with the orderly again."

Elliot's shoulders fell, "Come on, Daniela, I'm just trying to get home."

"Hey," she scolded as Olivia looked on, completely unaware of what they were talking about, "you heard the doctor." She looked around, smacked her lips and bent low, "If you're gonna try and sling it under the bed… make sure it gets there," she told him and handed it to a confused Olivia.

Elliot groaned, "Nice Daniela. Real Nice."

She smiled, "Get out of here, what are you waiting for?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Feel good?" Olivia asked as Elliot rolled down the passenger window and let the air hit his face.

"You have no idea."

She smiled and reached over to him, her hand on his inner thigh as they drove to their home, "Sam has a swim meet coming up… think you'll be up to watching?"

Elliot nodded, "If he'll have me there, sure… why didn't he come and visit?"

She exhaled and made a right hand turn onto the road that would lead them home, "I think he just really hates hospitals."

Elliot covered her hand with his own and stared out the window as the landscape blurred by, "Maybe he just hates me."

She turned her hand palm up and laced her fingers with his, "That's not true, El. He loves you, but he's so scared right now. He's wetting his pants again; he doesn't sleep through the night or eat well. His grades are slipping, Isaac spends some nights in the bed with me and sometimes even the babies seem to be freaked out… El, Sam doesn't hate you; I think he feels like he let you down."

"Why?" Elliot asked as she slowed the vehicle and pushed the remote to open the gate. She felt his hand tighten over hers and she immediately stopped the car as she pulled in front of the gate.

"What?" she whispered and rubbed her thumb along his knuckles, "what is it?"

He swallowed and smiled, "Nothing, uh… wow," he changed the subject quickly, "everyone really is here, huh?"

She smiled, "They all insisted they saw you on your first day back home," she told him and eased the vehicle into the driveway, stopping it in a spot that everyone agreed to leave open for her.

"I'll get your wheels," she smiled and leaned over cupping his face and kissing his cheek, "I love you, and Sam's gonna come around. He says a sentence here and there and this morning he fed Solomon. Still wants nothing to do with Hannah but he's slowly coming around. He loves you, El… remember that."

She slipped out of the vehicle and within minutes was at his door, "Let's go," she smiled and locked the brakes to his chair, "get those chicken legs out here."

"Chicken legs," he smiled and looked down, "have I really lost that much muscle weight?"

"You'll get it back… swing'em out here," she chuckled and for a moment she felt bad for him. His legs were so thin that his cargo shorts, that once looked so good on him, looked entirely too big and his sneakers looked even bigger. She let him brace himself against her and they both grunted to get him lowered into the chair.

He panted and adjusted his feet in the chair, "Maybe, we should stick to the Mustang? It's lower."

"Um," she arched her brow and released his breaks, "there is no mustang."

"What?" he looked up quickly.

"Uh… sold it, actually," she told him and closed the door to the vehicle, "let's roll," she said and began to push him.

"I'll do it," he told her and she willingly let him go at his own pace until he stopped at the ramp that covered their steps, "Why'd you sell the mustang?" he asked, stalling for time to catch his breath.

"Is it important?'

"You loved that car… why'd you sell?"

"We needed money… let's go," she told him and kissed his cheek, "no serious stuff today, El. Enjoy our friends huh? You've had a long time away from home, enjoy this."

He licked his lips and nodded, "Uh… can you-"

"Yep," she smiled and gave him a little extra push up the ramp as he wheeled his chair along the ply board. "You ready for this?"

He smiled, "I want to see our kids."

She ginned, kissed his lips and opened the door, "We're home!" she let the group know and helped Elliot over the threshold, allowing him to maneuver the rest of the way.

"Carpet?" he asked with furrow brows, "The chair will get it filthy."

"No," she assured him, "look, they put down runners for you."

He nodded, and wheeled himself into the living room where his friends happily waited and yelled out a hearty, "Welcome home!"

He grinned at the large crowd, the Novak's, the Gray's, Fin and Mac, Carp who was holding Solomon and Chloe and Donovan, Melinda Warner who was holding Hannah and Cragen who was trying to convince Isaac to keep his shorts on. "Hey," Elliot laughed, "what a surprise!"

Casey laughed, "You're such a liar!" she said and bent low to give him a hug, "we know you knew." Elliot chuckled and returned the hug, surprised when she whispered in his ear, "This chair means crap to me. You'll be up and walking around irritating us all in no time."

He smiled, "Thanks Casey."

Carp grinned, "Hey, get a load of this little guy," he told Elliot and gently laid Solomon in his arms.

He'd never really been the type of man to cry in front of anyone other than his wife but when Hannah was lowered into his arms and as he looked down at both of his children he cried, "Hey, guys."

"Daddy!" Isaac wormed his way out of Cragen's arms and ran to his father, wedging himself between his legs and resting his head on Elliot's abdomen.

"Monkey," Elliot smiled and looked up at Olivia, "Can you take them? They're heavy. I'm scared I can't hold them."

She smiled and picked up Hannah as Alex picked up Solomon, "Good to have you home, Elliot."

He stared at her, "You're huge!"

She laughed, "Good thing you decided to wake up, we were getting worried you'd sleep right my delivery."

"Never," he laughed and grinned when Isaac crawled up into his lap.

"Hi," Isaac giggled and kissed him, "Missed you daddy."

Elliot wrapped his hands around his son's small waist and kissed his cheek, "Not nearly as much as I missed you."

He giggled and bent to touch the wheel, "What this?"

"My wheels!" Elliot said as brightly as possible, vaguely aware that the group had separated and some were eating, others chatting, still other playing a card game. His wife near him at all times. "Watch," he told him and sat him on his bottom in his lap before wheeling the chair forward and as quickly as he could, back.

Isaac laughed, "Again!"

"You'll wear him out," Olivia smiled, "Maybe daddy's hungry… did you ask?"

"Hungies?"

"No… but your mom is right, your old man is beat."

"I got horsy!" Isaac told him excitedly.

Elliot arched his brow, "Zeus? Why don't you go and find him? Huh?" Isaac wiggled down and took off, "He's got clothes on," Elliot laughed.

"Miracles never cease," Olivia laughed and angled his head up, "kiss me."

"No."

"Yes."

He grinned, "You're so high maintenance, Liv."

She grinned, "So, am I getting kissed, or what?"

He cupped her face, and brought his lips to hers, stroked the tip of his tongue against her lips until she let him enter and the group that filled their house whistled and hollered in appreciation. They separated both blushing and laughed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Tired?" Olivia asked after ushering the last guest from their home.

"Yeah," he exhaled, "Sam never came out of his room. Not once."

"Um… actually, while you were talking to Fin at the door he went outside to the deck."

Elliot turned to look out the sliding glass door, "New door?" he asked in confusion.

"Yeah… uh… Zeus had hit it so much that, uh… there was a crack and I didn't want to risk the door shattering on the kids."

"Zeus lived," Elliot whispered and traced the living room with his eyes.

"Yeah, El. He did… I told you in the hospital."

Elliot furrowed his brows and shook his head, "I don't remember… can you make some cherry chocolate for Sam and I? I'd like to try and talk to him, see what's on his mind. What I've missed."

She nodded, "El… if he doesn't talk-"

"I know," he said sadly, "nothing personal."

"Go ahead," she said, "I'll bring it out to you… need help getting out there?"

"Uh… no. I'll do it."

She nodded, kissed his head, "Kay, give me a few minutes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a few bumps and a lot of work at maneuvering his chair, Elliot finally wheeled himself onto the deck where Sam laid curled up on reclining deck chair, his blanket covering him as he slept. Elliot smiled down at his son, he'd gotten taller, at least an inch, maybe two but he looked thinner, looked worried and unsettled even as he slept.

Elliot remembered him with the makings of a shabby Mohawk but here he was with gel tussled hair standing every which way it could go. It was shorter than the first time he had this style but it seemed to suit him well. His fists where clenched, his knees drawn up into his chest as he ground his teeth.

"Son?" Elliot whispered and gently rubbed his back, "wake up, Sam. I'd like to talk to you."

Sam shot up, his hands on the sides of the deck chair and furrowed his brow. "It's me son…it's your dad. I missed you." Sam's breathing quickened almost immediately and he began shed silent, scared tears.

"Hey," Elliot whispered softly, "I came home to see you. Your mom told me you've picked a charity to swim for. I'm so proud you want to swim!" Elliot told him.

Olivia opened the sliding door, carefully holding two mugs in one hand as she walked through and placed them on the small table. She looked at both men and her heart broke, "I just got Isaac to bed," she said softly and kissed Elliot on the temple, "I'll leave you two alone."

She left and Elliot saw Sam's nose flare, "Cherry chocolate, son… want some? Your mother left two mugs of it out here. One for you and one for me."

Sam wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand and let out a shaky breath, "Daddy," he hiccupped.

Elliot grinned, "I'm right here… you don't have to be afraid anymore."

Sam stood in front of his father and cried as he shook his head, "I'm sorry daddy."

"Sorry?" Elliot furrowed his brow and reached out to him, making contact with him for the first time in too long, "Come here, crawl onto my lap, let's talk… me and you."

Sam wrenched his hand out of Elliot's, "NO! I hate to talk!" he snapped and darted back into the house, slamming the sliding door before racing to his room.

"Hey!" Olivia towel dried her hands quickly and went to go after him.

"Don't," Elliot exhaled and grunted to get him self back through the door and close it behind him a task that exhausted him.

"El-"

"It's okay," Elliot forced a smile, "he said a few words… I got to touch him. Maybe it was too much for him."

Olivia made her way to him and kneeled, "I'm sorry," she shook her head, "I've tried everything. Mags comes once a week and he wants nothing to do with her."

Elliot nodded, "It's okay, um… I'm a little tired. I think I'm too old to be up this late."

She exhaled and smiled softly, "Let me lock up and I'll meet you to help you out."

"I can do it," he told her and simply wheeled past her making his way to their room.

She wiped down the kitchen, checked the locks and set the alarm before peeking out the blinds to ensure the gate was closed. She headed to the boys' room and smiled as Isaac took up his resting quarters next to Zeus on the floor even though she'd laid him in his own bed only twenty minutes ago.

"Mom?" Sam hiccupped.

Surprised, she turned around, "That's me. What's on your mind?"

"Does dad hate me?"

She didn't know if she knelt to meet him at his own level as he sat up or if his question had knocked the wind out of her, "What? No… no honey, he loves you so much. Why do you think he would hate you?"

"Is he mad at me?"

She trailed her knuckle along his cheek, "No," she told him softly, "no one is mad at you. No one hates you… your dad is so in love with you that it hurts him to not be able to talk to you, just like it hurts me."

"Does he love me still?"

"He woke up just to see you… that's how much he loves you," she told him and kissed his forehead, "he needs to know that you're okay, so he can focus on getting better and I need to know that you're okay so I can focus on school and you and Isaac and the babies and getting a new job."

He swallowed and hiccupped, "Does daddy think… it's my fault that the bad man hurt him so much?"

Olivia wiped at her own tears, "No, he doesn't think that," she sniffled, "and either do I or anyone else."

He took in an uneven breath, "Why didn't I hear footsteps when Dad was outside with me? I heard yours."

Olivia exhaled and thumbed her brow, "Remember I told you that your dad's legs were really banged up?"

He nodded yes.

"Well, it's taking a really long time for him to be able to use them so he's gonna use a wheel chair until he can walk around again."

"Will he come to my swim meet?"

She held his hand between hers, "Why don't you ask him? He's in our room."

He pulled his hand away from hers and laid down, his back to her, "Night, mom."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia's heart skipped a beat when she walked into the master bedroom and saw an empty wheel chair, "Elliot," she rushed to the chair and gasped as Elliot struggled from the floor, "EL!" she sidestepped the chair and kneeled next to him touching him softly, "Oh, El… why didn't you wait?"

He growled, "I don't need to be babied!"

"Hey," she tipped his chin up to her, "no one is babying you. Husband and wife Elliot, you lean on me when you need to and I lean on you. That's what it's all about… don't start this. We're doing well. You're doing great. Let's get up."

"Leave me-"

She cut him off as soon as he opened his mouth to bellow and covered his lips with hers until he lost his steam, "Get up, marine," she whispered and placed one foot on either side of his thighs, "Let's go, hands around my neck," she told him and wrapped her arms under his, locking her hands behind him, "Ready?" she asked and widened the base of her stance knowing she was a lot smaller than him, no matter how much weight he'd lost. "One… two… three," she said as they both labored to get him off of the floor and onto the bed. "Almost," she said through clenched teeth as one of his hands left her shoulder and pushed himself up to the mattress just a bit more until he sat on the bed and they both tumbled back.

"Look at you," Elliot teased as she panted over his body, "trying to make love to me already."

She laughed against his shoulder and was so happy when he joined her and continued to hold her over his body. "I think I'm still high from the other day in the hospital… I can't believe you did that."

He smiled, "I can't believe you let me… you're naughty."

She looked up at him in shock and grinned, "That took _two_!"

"No," he shook his head and offered a serious face, "As I recall, I made you loose control with _one_ finger… that's skill, Liv."

She laughed and slapped his chest playfully, "You're too much… what do you want to wear to bed?"

"Nothing."

"El, I'm being serious… you need to get to sleep."

He smiled, "Just boxers."

"Sure? It's still a little cool at night."

"Yeah, but now I have you to keep me warm. The hospital was freezing."

She smiled and kissed him, demanding that her hips not rub against him and reluctantly, they obeyed. "Alright," she whispered and pulled him up to sit, "let's get this off," she said and was surprised at the elementary way he was still trying to take his shirt off, "Uh, uh, no." she told him, "Let's get your arms working, stretch them, come on," she said and helped him reach straight up as he groaned and she quickly brought his shirt up and over, "alright, slowly down."

He dropped them and groaned in pain.

"I said _slow_," she scolded. "Come on, I'll get your boxers on and I can massage you, huh?"

"Massage?" he waggled his brow, "Interesting."

"Doc says it's good for you… do you want one?"

"Will you do it naked?"

She laughed, "You want me to do it naked?"

"Yeah."

"Mmmm, not tonight-"

"What!" he protested, "What's a welcome home celebration without a naked massage?"

She kissed his bearded lips, "El… I've been so busy; I haven't had time to shave or any of that girly stuff."

"You've lost a lot of weight," he smiled, "You look amazing to me."

She kissed him again, "I tell you what, I'll give you a simple massage tonight and maybe… a more interesting one when things have settled down."

He exhaled, "Okay."

She took off his sneakers and cast them aside followed by his socks and tried desperately not to look at his legs as they hung off the side of the bed, battle scarred, "Shorts, loos'em," she smiled.

"See, look at you," he laughed, "You're a tease."

She chuckled, "Whatever… do you need help?"

"No… I can do it," he told her and fumbled with the button and zipper but eventually managed to get his hands around the waistband only to realize he couldn't' stand up to push them over his hips.

She noticed his quandary, "I can he-"

"I don't need help!" he snapped.

She exhaled and waited patiently for him to try and come up with a solution and after several minutes he simply said, "I'll sleep in these."

"No you won't."

"Oli-"

She raised her palm, "Don't… lay back."

"No-"

She placed her palm on his chest and slowly pushed him back, her free hand supporting his back so he was lying flat and tugged on his shorts as he shifted his hips for her until she brought both boxers and shorts down. Just the sight of his naked body, after months of not seeing him had caused a rush in her body. She exhaled not wanting to look and cause him to become uneasy but, before she could bring the fresh pair of boxers to him he stopped her, "Olivia?"

"Yeah? Am I hurting you?"

"No," he nodded, "what do I look like? I can't really see… everything."

She smiled up at him, "You look as amazing as ever."

He smiled softly, "No, really… can you get me a mirror, please?"

"El-"

"Olivia… please?"

She exhaled and retrieved a small mirror from the restroom and handed it to him. He held it between his legs and she looked away only to hear him gasp, "Geez, Liv… how could you want me? I saw how turned on you just got… how can you want me like this?" he exhaled and suddenly growled in frustration, launching the mirror against the wall. Olivia flinched and raised her hands to protect her face from the glass; "I'm not even a man anymore!" he yelled in anger and grabbed at his throwing shoulder, groaning in pain. "Why would you want me anymore?" he asked in a near whisper.

She kneeled in front of his naked body and cupped his face, "Because it's not about your body, Elliot. It's not. It never has been."

"Liv," he looked at her in such shame, "I might never be able to make love to you again."

She furrowed her brows and exhaled, "There are other options Elliot, and besides… the doctors didn't know if you'd walk… you took three steps just the other day. They didn't know if you'd move your hand and you move it well."

"I can't feel with it," he snapped.

She covered his injured hand, "You will… there's some feeling, and the rest will come later."

"I want to make love to you… I think about you all the time. I dreamed about it while I was in the hospital, I even… I thought about it…while… White-"

"Shh," she stretched up and kissed his forehead, "tonight is your first night home-"

"And I wanted to make love to you."

"You will," she assured him, "one day."

"What if that's not true? They gave me an _impotency_ kit… that's not exactly a confidence booster."

"Elliot," she shook her head, "baby, do you know how many drugs they had you on? Do you know how long you were out? You're body was a mess… you've got to give it time to heal, you've got to let me help you. The nurse will be here when I'm at school, but… come on; you haven't even gone pee since you've been home… you planning on holding it until the nurse gets here?"

"Yes."

She exhaled and lowered her head, "It's not a big deal, El… you pee in a jug, why are you making this difficult?"

"Difficult?" he tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, "Difficult… I'm sorry, was this supposed to be _easy_?" he barked. "One minute I'm building a damn bird house with my son and the next minute I wake up… months later!"

"El-"

"Oh, and try this for difficult," he snapped, "I wake up and I'm babbling and drooling like an infant! I can't feel my legs and my wife tells me the doctors turned me into some pansy eunuch-"

"Stop!" she said and firmly framed his face. "Just stop," she whispered and when he went to speak she simply covered his mouth with her palm, "Stop."

He swallowed and pulled away form her palm looking away, "Get away from me."

"Make me," she arched her brow. "You're so damn independent, you obviously don't need anyone to help you with anything… make me go away… push me; throw me out of the room, do it. I dare you," she said knowing full well he couldn't' do anything, "no… I double dog dare you to… come on, Elliot. You want me away from you. You want to push me away and get out of your face," she said before grabbing his face and positioning hers inches from his, "then push me away."

He stared at her, "That's not fair."

"You know what," she shook her head; "life isn't fair Elliot… look at us… we missed thirteen months with our son. We almost lost Hannah and Solomon too many times to count. Our friends were beaten… you and our children were almost murdered… life isn't fair. I thought you would have learned that by now… it hasn't been fair to us, but we're fighters Elliot, you and me. We'll take on anything that comes our way and we'll beat it. But only if you're in the game too."

He shook his head, "What's gonna happen… when two years or five years down the line I still can't get it up, huh? You stickin' around then?"

Her nostrils flared at his insinuation, "I could slap you right now."

"Do it," he commanded.

"Don't tempt," she raised her brows in anger. "If you think, for one second that I'm in this marriage to chase an orgasm with you, then the brain swelling really did mess you up… do you really think I want you because you're great in the sac?"

"_Was_ great in the sac," he scoffed.

"You could still be for all we know… Elliot, you almost died! Do you really think that your body is gonna just be able to react like it did before? It needs time."

"I don't want time!"

"Because you're impatient!"

"What's gonna happen," he yelled, "when some young stud comes your way and can get it up without an implant or some device and you remember that your husband is a limp noodle!"

She twined her fingers around his neck and pressed her forehead against his, "Then I'll shut him down just like I've shut down every man whose showed interest since I let myself fall for you."

He pulled away, averted his eyes from her, "You say that now."

She reached behind her neck, unclasped her necklace and slid his wedding ring off of the chain before clasping it again and holding the ring up to him, "I stood with you, on a beach, in the freezing cold and told you that I loved you," she said as she continued to kneel in front of him. "I promised you the second I put this ring on your finger that there would never be another man in my bed or in my heart and there never has been," she assured him and slipped the ring back on his finger, "and there never will be."

He swallowed, "You can't promise me that, Liv."

"I can and I just did… I didn't marry you for your penis Elliot. I didn't make myself vulnerable to you for your testicles or your sexual prowess. I married you because I love you. Don't you get that? Don't you see why masturbating has never been my thing? It's not about the orgasm. It's not about your penis being inside of me, it's not about you making me come. It's about me connecting with your soul, feeling your heart beat against mine, it's the way you touch me, the way you look at me… those things have nothing to do with your genitals and those are the things I love about making love to you… yeah, orgasms are good and you definitely know how to give'em," she smiled, "But… it's not why I always want to make love to you… it's about you wanting me and me wanting you, and intercourse isn't the only way to make that happen."

"What's gonna happen when I can't satisfy you?"

She grinned, "You didn't seem to have a problem satisfying me in the hospital… Elliot, we don't even know that you can't yet… why didn't you tell me about the impotency kit?"

Frustrated, he yelled at her, "You can't tell me your not worried, Olivia," he barked, "You can't."

"I am worried!" she confessed in exasperation, "But, not about you satisfying me… I'm worried about me satisfying _you_… you've connected sex and closeness with me, and that's not what its all about… do you think I'm not worried about being able to turn _you_ on? You think I'm not stressed out that my lips or hands or body won't be able to excite you… yeah, I am but I'm determined not to let that drive me. I love you Elliot and there's other ways… _if_, we need them."

"Oli-"

"What did your doctor tell you?" she cut him off and reached over to his nightstand to retrieve the bag Daniela had given him before they left.

"He said… impotency is a possibility… I could also shoot blanks or have a low sperm count."

"_Possibility_, Elliot, and as far as shooting blanks… we both agreed we didn't want another baby for awhile. We'll cross that bridge later" she said opening the small bag and furrowing her brow, "Uh… instructions?" she said and looked back into the bag as she continued, " It's a _possibility_, a possibility that isn't a reality, yet," she told him as she emptied the contents, "did he at least tell you what to do?"

He exhaled, "Yeah,"

"Tell me… let me help you. What are these?" she asked holding up a flimsy ring.

He groaned, "It's supposed to be this simple test. For a month at night, I'm supposed to put one of those on my shaft and if, in the morning, the paper ring has burst, it means I had an erection during the night."

She nodded, "Okay… for a month?"

"Yeah, write down the days if any rings broke."

"What if one breaks?"

He grinned, "Then it means I'm not physically impotent, I'm just messed up in the head."

She chuckled and kissed his mouth, "You know…" she whispered and ran her fingers over his sides "if that's the case, I think I can help straighten out that mess."

He exhaled and pulled her slowly back, "What if _none_ of them break?"

She bit her bottom lip, "What if one _does_? We don't know what's gonna happen Elliot… just work with me, huh? Let me be your wife in this? Let me show you that I'm just as committed to you as I was when we got married, when you injured your eyes and all of the other crap we've been through, as I am now… let me be an honest woman, let me love you."

He exhaled in defeat and leaned back enough to let her have access to his body, "I don't know how long I can sit like this, my hip is hurting."

She nodded and opened one of the packs and chuckled, "Elliot… did you pick these out?"

"Huh? No… why?"

"These are _extra_ large… you sure you didn't pick it out for an ego stroke?"

He smiled "Doc brought them to me… must think I'm well endowed."

She chuckled and rubbed her hands together to produce heat before gently sliding the paper ring over his flaccid penis and reaching for his fresh boxers, "Alright, raise your foot," she teased and was surprised when he did just that, "Hey!" she smiled up at him, "when did that happen?"

He looked just as surprised, "Right now," he said as she adjusted his boxers under his body and pulled them up.

She beamed and kissed him softly, "I love you, even though you've got to be the most stubborn person I've ever known."

He smiled and nuzzled her nose, "Yeah, 'cause your all rosy all the time."

She laughed, "Want some help up to the head of the bed?"

"Uh, no… go catch your shower, I'll figure this out."

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

"El?"

"Huh?" he asked and slowly stretched to move the pillows and pull down the bedding.

"Do you need to go to the restroom?"

"I'm not peeing in jug in front _of you_. I'll hold it."

"El-"

"Liv!… I've got a paper ring around my penis… I'm going to crawl around this bed like an invalid. Will you _please_ let me have _some_ of my dignity?"

She exhaled, kissed his temple, "The only way you loose your dignity is if you give it up… remember that."

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Elliot panted and groaned. It had taken nearly five minutes of him wiggling around in the bed to finally get situated, only to have to squirm to relieve him self of the wedgie he'd gotten from scooting around on his bum. He flopped his head back and exhaled, "I have to piss," he told himself and looked at the clock, "not gonna be able to hold it," he groaned and rolled his eyes as the sound of Olivia's shower encouraged his bladder just the same, "Damnit," he muttered and threw his forearm over his eyes. He should have at the very least asked her to hand him the hospital issued container. Damnit.

Several minutes later, just as he was fighting both the need to sleep and the need to relieve his bladder he felt a small hand on his abdomen and he moved his arm down to see his son, "Sam? What's wrong, son? Nightmare?"

Sam swallowed, his face was so serious, so burdened with things no nine year old should ever shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Daddy," he sniffled and began to sob again.

Elliot pushed himself up, pushed away the need to urinate, pushed away the ache in his body, "What? No… no there's nothing to be sorry about," he said softly. "Son, can I touch you? Can I hold you? I haven't held you in such a long time."

Sam sniffled and wiped at his face, "I don't want to be spanked dad. I don't. Can I pick my discipline? Maybe no more CD's forever… just not a spanking," Sam cried, "Please daddy?"

Elliot furrowed his brow, "A spank- oh, no. No, son… come here, there are no spankings I promise."

Sam stood still, "You said so… you said, 'now Sam! Or I'll spank you!... I'm Sam."

Elliot smiled softly, "Yes you are, and I love you and I promise you… there are no spankings for you. How can I possibly give a spanking to a super hero?"

Sam hiccupped and cried harder but quickly made his way onto the bed and, while Elliot thought Sam would sit next to him, he was surprised when Sam curled up into his lap. He felt his bladder disagree with the added pressure but his heart soared when he wrapped his arms around his son and pulled his head to his chest, "I'm sorry Daddy."

Elliot kissed the crown of his head, "Nothing to be sorry for, ever."

Sam took in a deep breath and screeched out a labored cry as he pushed himself harder into Elliot's chest, "Sorry, Daddy."

Elliot swallowed hard as his own emotions surfaced. He heard the shower shut off as soon as Sam had cried so forcefully, and while the door opened for a few seconds it also closed, Olivia's effort to give them their privacy. "For what, son?" Elliot asked softly and rubbed his back, "For what? You are such a beautiful man… why do you need to be sorry?"

Sam's lips curled downward as he continued to cry, "'Cause you were too heavy and I couldn't take you with me, and I wanted to come back but I heard his steps and he was gonna hurt Isaac," he sobbed, "and Mom would die if she didn't have Isaac. I'm sorry for being a selfish boy, daddy."

Elliot furrowed his brows and pulled Sam away, "Selfish? You weren't selfish… you did exactly what I asked you to do, when I asked you to do it, and you saved your brothers and sister. Mac told me you didn't have anything but your boxers on… is a little boy who takes his clothes off in the snow to keep his brother warm, selfish? No," Elliot assured him, "he sounds very giving to me."

"But I am bad and selfish," Sam cried, "'Cause I wanted Mom, and the man, he said you were gonna die, that's what he said when he came outside to find us. He said, 'Come here little brat, your daddy is dead' and that's why I didn't come back for you daddy, 'cause I was selfish and I thought you were dead and I wanted mom and she would die if I lost Isaac, so I ran away from you daddy," he cried, "I'm sorry, daddy, please love me."

"Hey," Elliot rubbed his back and held him tighter as he began to cry, "hey, buddy, nothing in this world will separate my love for you, understand?"

"But… he said it was all my fault. If I would have come to him, you wouldn't have gotten hurt," he sobbed into Elliot neck, "I'm sorry I didn't come out, daddy, I am. Don't be mad. Don't hate me," he begged.

"Sam," Elliot cupped his cheek, "This is his fault, his entire fault and only his fault."

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Olivia sat naked on the closed toilet with her hands covering her face as she cried. The things that must have happened that night, she's not sure she'll ever know the whole story, but she knows that she's hearing more from her son right now than she has in months and although, every sentence he speaks tears at her heart, she knows Elliot will never blame their little boy for not getting him out of the house, for not coming back. And while she understands that Sam wasn't choosing her over his father, he was simply ensuring he had at least one parent left to wake up to, she couldn't help but wishing she were in that house, that she'd gotten to her husband, to her children, before White did.

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"I don't hate you," Elliot cried, "I never have and I'm not upset that you didn't come back. I'm glad you didn't come back, son. I'm glad you took the kids and ran as fast as you could. You saved them, and when you protected me from him and you used the nail gun, that was okay, you understand that? You weren't bad for that."

"I'm a devil boy," he sniffled and rubbed his eyes with his hands.

Elliot wiped at his tears with his thumbs, "No," he said softly. "No, you're my son, my heart beat. When you came to the hospital I heard you and I was so happy you were there to feel me and I wanted you to keep coming because you're an angle and I wanted to be close to God."

Sam took in a raspy breath, "I talked to God dad, I did," he cried, "and he told me that you would come home to me and mom, that's what He said and I told him I wanted you like you always were and He said you'll be that way. He told me to tell you not to worry about your legs, because I can be your legs like you can be my eyes. That's what He told me."

Elliot's jaw quivered, "I prayed in my sleep, every night, that you and the Big Guy would talk again… looks like he's been listening these days."

Sam sobbed, "I hear mom pray all the time, I heard her pray that you'll come home to her, that your legs will work and that you will still love her even though she didn't come home the night when the man hurt us, why don't you love her anymore?" he cried harder. "Is that why you didn't wake up for a really long time? Because you were mad at mom?" He coughed for breath and sniffled, "It's my fault the man hurt you daddy, so you can be mad at me, but please don't hate mom. I'll give you all of my CD's and my allowance, if you'll love her again."

"Oh son," Elliot began to weep again, "No, no, son, that's all wrong and backwards… I love your mom so much that when she would come and visit me I could feel myself getting stronger and I could hear her pray for me… everyday, Sam… she prayed everyday, do you know what that means?"

Sam nodded and wiped his runny nose, "Yeah, yeah it means she really loves you."

"Yeah," Elliot nodded, "and it means that God has answered all three of our prayers. So… do you still think there is no God?"

Sam swallowed and furrowed his brow, "There has to be a God, because you came back to us, but daddy, don't you hear how sad mom's voice is? I heard her, I heard her pray last night that when you came home you would still love her… do you not love her?"

"Sam… I love her. I love her more than I love me own life, and when I was all alone in the hospital and all I heard was the doctors saying I might not walk or my brain might be messed up, son, I was so scared that I prayed God would let me die, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I heard your mothers voice… just for a second, but it was enough and I don't really remember much after that, not for awhile but, I remembered her voice and I loved her enough to risk waking up with a body and brain that wouldn't work, just to see her one more time… that's what love does to you Sam, makes you want to come home no matter what."

"I hurt Hannah," he sniffled, "I dropped her because I'm not a strong man like you."

Elliot kissed his forehead and pulled him back to his chest, "You are a strong man, because you got her out of the house as quick as possible. That man wanted to hurt her really bad and she's very young. She won't remember it son, and if she did, I'm willing to bet she'd thank you for saving her life."

Sam wiped his nose against Elliot's chest and Elliot couldn't help but to crinkle his nose and smile, "Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Does Isaac hate me?"

"No. He's sad that you don't play with him like you used to. He misses you."

"I was very mean to him, dad," Sam whispered, "I told him to shut up and I yanked on his arm when he started to cry for mom… I told him we had to go fast but he was crying and I didn't want the man to find us."

"I don't think he even remembers all of that, and you did what you had to do to keep him safe… that doesn't make you bad."

"I was so tired, daddy," he sniffled, "and I woke up in a strange bed and Isaac was with me. I'm not too good of an older brother. They could have hurt Isaac when I was sleeping."

"You were very tired, and they were safe people," Elliot told him softly. "You did amazing and I'm proud to be your dad."

Sam hiccupped against him, "Will mom love me?"

"As much as I do… every minute, every second, why wouldn't she?"

"'Cause," he breathed hard and began to cry again, "'cause I locked you out of the house and I heard it dad… I heard you yell and scream. I heard it when you came inside and I heard you yelling and crying…"

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Olivia's body bent over as she wept, trying to keep quiet as if she wasn't listening to this conversation between her husband and son. She cried knowing that Elliot had yelled in agony, screamed in pain and pleaded while Sam was hearing it all. She'd known the skeletal facts, but as Elliot and Sam fleshed out the story, she felt as though it would be too much to ever know the entirety of that night.

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"I heard you dad," Sam cried "I heard you say, 'son, help me,' and I wanted to but I didn't know how to help you and my legs wouldn't move and I was so scared daddy, I didn't want to go out there because I heard you yelling so bad. Yelling like I never heard you before and he called you names that weren't nice and I heard you cry for mom and I thought she was at home too, but I knew she couldn't be home 'cause she wouldn't' let him hurt you… not like I let him. And that's why she won't love me anymore if she knows… she won't love me because I let you get hurt and it broke her heart. I heard her tell God that her heart was broken," he sobbed, "she said her heart was broken 'cause you weren't next to her, 'cause you were hurt… it's my fault you were hurt… I broke her heart."

"Son," Elliot cried into his hair, "no, you didn't let him hurt me. You didn't break your mom's heart. You fought, you fought like a hero… you've got a really good knife hand strike. I'm proud that you helped me, I'm thankful that you helped me and the kids… and it's okay that you didn't come out of the room because he would have hurt you and your mother would be devastated and I don't think I would have had a family to wake up to. It wouldn't have been worth waking up."

Sam sniffled, "You forgive me daddy?"

"There's nothing to forgive you for."

"Yeah… for not saving you… you forgive me? Please?" he pleaded as he listened to his father's heart through his chest.

Elliot lowered his lips to his son's ear, "There's no reason to punish your self. There's no reason to feel like you need forgiveness but, if that's what you need to get over this… I forgive you."

"Will Mom forgive me? Will she love me again?"

"She will, I promise… but there's nothing to forgive."

Sam exhaled and his body relaxed in Elliot's embrace as he continued to cry, "You still love me, daddy?"

"Never stopped loving you… I want you to talk to Mags next time she comes. How come you haven't' been? You know she's safe."

He sniffled, "Cause I thought you might not love me anymore and she would just tell me that wasn't true, but how does she know what you think if you were asleep? How does she know your heart if she didn't talk to you?"

Elliot kissed his head softly, "I know how I feel. I know my heart and I know that I love you."

Sam sniffled and pushed himself deeper in Elliot's embrace, "I love you, too."

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Olivia gave herself several minutes to try and get her composure. She dressed slowly, hoping and praying that Elliot would have fallen asleep, but when she opened the door of the bathroom and saw Elliot starring into space, his hand absently rubbing Sam's back as he slept over his chest, she knew she wasn't getting around it.

"Familial espionage again?" Elliot whispered with a small smile.

"What are you talking about?" she asked nonchalantly, "when did he get here?"

"Right," Elliot smirked, "You were an awesome cop but, I see why you never attempted the CIA, you'd make a raunchy spy."

She blushed, "I wasn't spying."

"Uh huh… shower just happened to end the second he started to cry."

"I thought I heard something-"

"Yet the water never came back on… its okay, Liv… I'm glad you heard. I'm glad we both got to hear what's been on his mind."

Olivia bit her lip and perched herself on the bed, "I really wasn't trying to listen."

"I know," he smiled softly. "Look at this," he whispered, "this is so amazing to me, I didn't think I was ever gonna get to hold him like this. I didn't think he'd ever come around."

"He's held a lot in."

"He's misunderstood a lot… I love you Liv," Elliot whispered as a fresh tear fell, "I love you so much. Why do you think I wouldn't love you?"

She looked down, shook her head as if clearing her mind, "he must have misun-"

"Can it… Answer me," he smiled softly and reached out to touch her hand, "why do you think I wouldn't' love you?"

She swallowed hard, "I didn't get there."

"And that's good," he assured her, "he would have killed you, or worse."

She sobbed, "What could be worse that what he's already done?"

"Our kids waking up to no one."

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"He go down okay?" Elliot asked softly.

"Yeah," Olivia leaned against the door frame and wrung her hands.

"Do I smell?" he smirked.

"What?" she tilted her head, "You bathed at the hospital this mo-"

"Why are you standing over there? Come to bed, it's late."

She pulled at her camisole and walked slowly to the bed, slipping in and shutting off her bedside light.

"Whoa, whoa whoa," Elliot said and labored to reach for his light, hearing her sniffle as he pulled at the lanyard, "What happened?"

She sniffled again and slapped her hand against the mattress in frustration, her back turned to him, "White happened… Ganzner happened,.. Victor and Oliver happened…_ I_ happened to _you,_ Elliot." She swallowed, "You got involved with me and look at what happened? You almost lost your sight; you lost your son, almost lost the rest of your children… _I happened_ to you Elliot."

He exhaled, "Come here… and don't be stubborn about it, I can't pull you to me. Come here."

"El-"

"Get your stubborn body over here!" he said firmly and managed to pull at her camisole.

Reluctantly, she rolled and scooted closer to him, "I'm so sorry."

He smiled, "Don't be. You're right, you did happen to me-" she looked down, her chin quivering even as he tipped her face back up, "but not the way you think. You happened to me, and it's been beautiful. I had two years of dating you, two years of finding out who you were without that shield protecting you. I've had you for a wife for a little over three and a half years and it's been great. Yeah, I lost my sight for awhile but that came with a purpose-"

She furrowed her brows, "A purpose?" she asked incredulously, "what purpose did that serve?"

"Do you think," he started to ask and tucked her hair behind her ear, "that I would have taken a second glance at Sam? Do you think I would have wanted him, or been able to appreciate his disability if I hadn't gone through it myself? God used that, and there is no way I'd give up that experience… not when I know that connects me with Sam in a way that no one else we know could ever be… Liv, we've had this conversation, almost word for word before. I love you."

"I'm sorry I d-"

"You happened to me," he smiled and rubbed her cheek, "you happened to me and because of that, I've got a little boy that's learned to conquer fear even if it is in a pink Speedo," he chuckled and kissed her smile, "and I've got another one who is gonna break a limb pretty soon because he has no fear. He's sneaky and mischievous and an absolute wild card just like his mother."

"El-"

"You happened to me," he told her softly, "and I have these two little bundles of complete bliss and when I look at one I see a little boy who I hope will one day become his own man, but take me with him. I see a little girl who's a spitting image of her mother and I know that every boy in the world is gonna give me a headache and that one day, some creep is gonna come along and steal her from me… and she'll happen to someone else, just like you happened to me."

She tucked her lips in and struggled with her tears, "I'm just sorry I wasn't home that night. I'm sorry I stayed at the station, even though I knew something was wrong."

"Cragen stopped by a few days after I woke up… he told me about Carp, how he pieced it together. He told me you were itching to get out of there. You know what I told him?"

She kissed his naked chest, "What?'

"I told him, if he'd have let you go… I'd have killed him."

She kissed his chest again, "Forgive me… forgive me for staying behind."

He chuckled and it caught her off guard.

"What is with my family seeking my forgiveness when there is nothing to forgive?"

"Elliot," she shook her head, "when they told me you might not even make it through your first critical surgeries… I… I," she shook her head, "I knew I would never make it if I never heard you say that you forgave me… that you still love me in spite of it-"

"Hey," he shook his head and smiled, "I told you, every day I was asleep that I loved you… you just couldn't hear it was all… I loved the second I was born… I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you and I loved you when I couldn't see you and loved you when we were apart, and I loved you when White was attacking me-"

She bowed her head, he tipped it back up and smiled, "And I loved you when I was asleep, and I love you now… there is no 'still', no 'in spite of', or 'althoughs'… it's just love and its unconditional, its mine to you and your only job right now, is to accept it."

"But, El-"

"There are no 'but's' either," he told her and kissed her cheek letting his lips linger, "I forgive you… if that's what you need to hear, I'll tell you that every single day I'm alive, but stop condemning yourself," he smirked and added playfully, "it does nothing for my erection."

She sobbed and laughed at the same time and wrapped her arm around his waist, "I never thought you'd be sleeping next to me again… I never thought you'd come back to me."

"Oh ye of little faith," he quipped and trailed his finger over her knuckles, "You've got me wrapped around your finger, Olivia… I didn't have a choice _but_ to come back."

She smiled against him and exhaled softly, letting moments of silence go by until he shifted uncomfortably, "Need me to move?" she asked. He stared in abject horror at his hips, at the sensation of warmth spreading over him. His eyes bounced back and forth rapidly as she sat up, "El?"

"Get away."

She moved back quickly, "What's wrong?"

"Get out of here!" he barked and to her extreme astonishment, pushed her away until she had no choice but to leave the bed.

"What the h-"

"GET OUT!"

She stared at him in utter confusion and when he shifted his hips she knew exactly what had happened. He hadn't used the restroom in nearly twelve hours when the doctor told him specifically he'd have to go more frequently, that his ability to hold it would be compromised.

"Get out!" he labored again and she simply closed the gap between them and kneeled next to him.

"Does all that talk about unconditional love come with a urination loop hole?" she asked softly, "Does the law of accepting one another's love, the requirement of that being our only job… does that not apply to you?" she asked softly.

"Get out," he panted.

She adjusted his chair and offered him her hand, "You get out."

He shook his head in horror, "I can't believe this is happening."

She shrugged, "We all have accidents," she smiled softly and moved to pull down the comforter. His hand moved and jerked on her wrist.

"NO!"

She smiled, "You're getting faster… unconditional love Elliot. I don't care that this happened and my lips are sealed. But, I will think you're odd if you want to sit in it all night instead of getting cleaned up."

"Please," he begged "get out."

"Lo siento mucho," she said and carefully pulled back the blankets, "I have to hear a lot of Spanish television around here," she smiled, "you pick up a few things. Go ahead and sit up, just like in the hospital and I'll grab a towel… if you're not up when I get here I'll drag you out," she warned and walked away. She stopped and threw over her shoulder, "Let's go marine."

She gave him ample time even though it had only taken a few seconds to grab a towel. "Sorry, it took so long," she told him and folded the towel in half and placed it on his chair, "couldn't find the towels," she chuckled, "I see your sitting, your hip still hurt?"

"Lil bit," he whispered and avoided her face.

She tipped his face up and kissed his forehead, "Let's go, in the chair, move it or loose it Stabler."

"I need them off," he shook his head "I can't stand this feeling… I want a shower Liv."

"That's our destination," she smiled and braced him under his arms, "Up… I want you to stand just like you do for Roger."

He wrapped one arm around her shoulder the other at her waist and groaned in pain, "So weak."

"Two more seconds," she labored and tugged at his boxers, "on my toes."

"Sorry-"

"No," she shook her head, "Stand on them, hurry up before I drop your fat butt."

He chuckled weakly and gripped her shoulders tighter as he stood on her feet, she bit back her groan as his weight crushed her, "Turn with me," she told him and moved her foot to which he followed until he was sitting in his chair again and she removed the boxers from his ankles.

"See there," she panted, "you're walking all over the place."

He laughed, "I'll end up breaking your feet like that."

"Then you'd better start walking really fast buddy, 'cause that's how it's gonna be for now on," she smiled and kissed him, "I'll sit you in the shower and give you some time to yourself, huh? How's that sound?"

He nodded softly, still to embarrassed "I'm sorry, Liv."

She bent low as she wheeled him into the restroom, "Don't be," she said and kissed him softly again. After several minutes of convincing him that the shower chair didn't mean he was an invalid or helpless senor citizen, they managed to get him sitting comfortably in the chair. In frustration, he discarded the paper ring around his penis and shook his head.

She ignored the movement and turned on the shower before removing the detachable shower head, "Check it out," she smiled, "this'll make things easier for you, so you don't feel like I'm hovering."

He smiled softly, "You got that?"

She adjusted the stream of water, careful not to hit him until it was warm, "Yeah, it was on sale. I splurged," she chuckled and handed it to him before reaching up and bringing his shower gel and shampoo to him, "can you reach everything?"

He looked around and nodded, "Yeah… thank you, Olivia."

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissed his temple, "Unconditional, Elliot."

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"Don't tell Sam why we're sleeping on the sofa bed," Elliot whispered.

"Told you," she raised her brows and parked his chair close by, "lips are sealed… sure you don't want to sleep in boxers?"

He nodded, "No… that's too much work. I'll just make sure to stay covered if the boys wake up."

She nodded and held up a paper ring, "One month, El."

He groaned, "Ridiculous."

She pulled his blankets back and quickly helped him with it, "Legs hurt?"

"Yeah… whole body, actually."

She rubbed the inside of his thigh, "The offer for the massage still stands."

"Naked?" he grinned.

She stood up, locked her eyes with his and pulled her camisole off, "Yeah," she smiled softly, "I guess I can do naked."

His mouth fell open and he swallowed hard, "Geeze Liv… you don't look like you've ever been pregnant."

She chuckled, "I lost the weight, yeah… Sam and I practice his forms in the morning and end up swimming with him an hour a day… gave me great shoulders."

He nodded, his eyes still focused on her breast, "Yeah, nice," he whispered without having so much as glanced to her shoulders.

She chuckled and slowly slipped out of her panties and flannels, "El… if this gets to be too much for you… you let me know."

He continued to stare at her like a fifteen year old virgin seeing breast for the first time, "Whatever," he whispered, "we both know you're the one with no control."

She laughed and shook her head, "Lean forward, I'll slip in behind you."

He did and smiled when her legs stretched out along his, her lips kissing him softly on the back of his neck, "I love you," she said softly.

He smiled and rubbed her leg as it rested next to his. Hers perfect, his abominable, "I thought you didn't shave?"

She smiled and began to rub his shoulders lightly, not knowing how much pressure he could take, "That was about the only part of my shower I got, besides washing. My hairs a mess."

"You're perfect."

"You're tense… it's just me, just my hands."

"Liv… what does my back look like? You haven't told me anything… you haven't said anything about my body. It makes me nervous… I can't tell what you're thinking."

She kissed his neck softly and wrapped her arms around him so her hands splayed over his chest that had since weakened over time. She nipped his ear, "I think you're the sexiest guy I've ever laid eyes on, in my life."

He exhaled "Liv… you don't have to lie… just tell me. What does it look like? What are you thinking? I don't like not knowing."

She lowered both her hands to rest on his thighs and softly kissed his shoulder where his scar started. She traced the damaged flesh with her tongue, moved her hand to start tracing his scar on the opposite side of his body until tongue and finger met at his spine. She felt him lean back into her kisses and she smiled before finding another line to trace with her tongue and lips. She moved her remaining hand from his thigh as he breathed deeper and she raised his damaged hand.

She remembered the first time Elliot put his mouth on her body. She remembered the shame she felt when scars adorned her skin and she thought that maybe, if someone would have told her she was beautiful right after it had happened, she wouldn't' have struggled with them, they wouldn't' have debilitated her like they did. She wondered if she would have trusted her mother enough, if they'd been speaking, if she would have been told she was still beautiful, instead of over hearing nurses say she'd never be wanted, if she would have handled it differently. She was determined not to let that happen to Elliot.

She kissed the palm of his hand, darted her tongue out to trace the patchwork of flesh the doctors had created and his chest jumped, "Can you feel that?" she asked in surprise.

"Don't stop," he told her and moved her other hand to rest just over his belly button, "I can feel it, and I don't want you to stop." She smiled into his palm, kissed him again and rubbed her thumb over his belly button before nipping softly at his shoulder. "That ankle bracelet is pretty sexy, Liv."

She laughed lying back onto the pillows, "El!"

He chuckled and laid back into her body, satisfied just to feel her naked breast against his flesh, her abdomen against his back, her leg bent, its flesh caressing his side as her hands roamed his chest, "You're sexy."

She wrapped her arms around his body, "You're beautiful and sexy and magnificent all at once and I get myself in trouble every time I think about you."

He reached back, pushed the pain in his shoulder away and touched his hand to her cheek, "Even now?"

She moved her mouth to his palm, kissed his hand softly, "There is no, 'even now' only 'always have been'."

He exhaled, "I felt your hand on my thigh… just now, and I felt that."

"Yeah?" she grinned, "you like it?" she whispered and stroked his thigh softly.

He grinned, "Yeah… it's nice. Do you think when or if I get all of my feeling back, my walking will come faster?"

"I think that _when_ all of your feeling comes back, your just gonna keep getting better and better… sit up, I'll do your legs."

He labored to bring himself up, the day had been to long and she could see his exhaustion, she pushed him up the rest of the way and quickly moved so he could rest back again. "You have to make room for me," she smiled and helped him widen his legs so she could kneel and as soon as her fingertips touched the leg that the fixator had adorned she wondered if she could get through this without having her own breakdown.

She withdrew her hand and stretched over him, careful not put her weight on him. She realized, just as soon as her heat gazed his lifeless length that she put herself in a precarious situation. She wanted him and he couldn't have her. She pushed the thought away and kissed his mouth softly, balancing thoughts that would keep her from rubbing into his hips. "I think you're beautiful," she whispered and nuzzled her cheek against his beard before kissing the scar she knew was hiding beneath the growth.

She kissed the scar about his neck not knowing exactly where it had come from, "I think you're amazing," she said and continued to make her way lower, her hands holding her weight on either side of his body. She kissed the scars along his chest and while he didn't need stitches, the scrapes and cuts of crawling on his belly along the driveway, the steps and the house, had marred once perfect skin.

She nipped softly at his hip bone and for a split second, her heart sunk when she shifted further down and didn't feel his erection pressed against her like she normally would have. She pushed the thought aside and convinced herself that she would feel him sooner or later. She continued to move down his body trailing the tip of her index finger along the crease of his leg and torso and he surprised her with a gasp. "Felt that," he grinned.

She looked up and smiled at bright eyes before kissing the same line of his body softly and trailing her tongue along his thigh to his knee, to the scar the surgeries left behind. She kissed him softly, but when there was no response from him she moved, made a note that there was still no sensation there and ran her tongue his shin, turning carefully between his legs until her back was to him and she continued to kiss his calf, trace a scar.

He gasped, "Wow!"

She smiled and looked over her shoulder, "Felt that?"

"Nope," he grinned, "but this view is pretty amazing," he laughed and reached to palm her bottom, "yep, still fits."

She laughed against his ankle and kissed the hollow spot where her lips rested, "Like that, huh?"

"Yeah… why have we never tried reverse cowgirl?"

"Never had a cowgirl hat," she grinned and ran her tongue along his instep, "Roger wouldn't know sexy feet if they kicked him in his face."

He laughed and leaned back down, "We are so going to get caught by the kids."

"No," she assured him, "Two and four… those are the hours they seem to have nightmares, we're clear for a while longer."

Olivia turned on her knees and looked down at his badly damaged leg. After three months it still bore greenish bruising, the shin bone knotted, scar tissue fused flesh to bone in various areas. She lowered her lips to him and closed her eyes as she kissed him and wondered if Elliot heard his own bones snap. She felt her tears water as she slipped her hand under his leg and massaged his calf, ran her lips over uneven skin and kissed him softly. Tongued the dimples the steel rods had left in his skin, ran the corner of her mouth along the red patches where his blood vessels had burst from the trauma of impact and by the time she reached his inner thigh she was crying silently.

She tucked her legs tighter under her body and rubbed the outside of his legs with her fingertips. She looked at his body, wanted to kiss the places the nails pierced him but when she looked at him for permission he swallowed hard and looked away. She squeezed his thighs softly and bent low to kiss the base of his shaft, to kiss the small scar that told a story she knew was her fault. She closed her eyes again and held in her tears, letting her tongue travel his soft length.

He groaned in unease and his body tensed immediately, "Oli-"

"Shh," she sniffled and kissed his inner thigh, "Shh, let me. I won't do anything else, just kiss… you're so beautiful… let me kiss the pain away, El… let me show you I don't care."

Several seconds passed before she heard him relax and release the tension in his jaw. She kissed his scar again, ran the tip of her tongue along his length withdrawing only to bypass the paper ring before meeting the small scar on his sac. She pressed her lips to him and wondered if he had actually been awake, if he saw Richard White take aim at him with a nail gun. She slammed her eyes shut, tried to hold in her sob, tried to stretch back along him but only got to his belly button before she buried her face in his flesh and sobbed as she held his waist, "I'm so sorry, Elliot," she cried, her shoulders rising and falling in the darkness of their living room, "I'm so sorry this happened to you, baby."

"Shhh," he smiled and tried to pull her up, "Come here, lay with me,"

She held him tighter, shook her head as she kept her face hidden against him, "I'll never forgive myself, Elliot. You can forgive me everyday that you want to," she sniffled, "but I'll never forgive myself for this. Never."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was…," she told him emphatically and wept harder into his body, "Yes it was! I took him on, I started something with him, I challenged him and he did this… he waited years to get back at me, and he used you to do it."

"No, it's not your fault… please come here… I can't reach you."

"No," She sniffled and rested her cheek against him, starring at the wall, her eyes burning. "I'm sorry Elliot. I'll do anything to make it up to, I will. Whatever you want baby, it's your's. What do you want? Tell me and it's done. You want to move from New York? Done, where? You used to say you thought Montana was nice, you want to go there? We'll go. You want that truck? I can get a night job. It's done, no questions. You want another baby? We don't have to wait, as soon as you're better we can try, what ever you want," she sniffled and sobbed into his hip, "Please? Whatever you want."

"I really just want one thing," he whispered.

She looked up quickly, "What? Tell me, it's done."

He smiled and held out his hand, "I want you to come up here, so I can wrap my arms around you and we can get some sleep." She sobbed and quickly made her way to him.

He held out his arm and she immediately laid her head against his chest and wrapped her hand around him, "Anything you want, Elliot."

He exhaled, kissed her hair, "I just want to hold you. I haven't' been able to hold you like this, in our own house for too long… all that other stuff, Liv… it wasn't your fault. Don't do this to your self. I want you to be happy. I want to see your smile everyday. It's been a long day for both of us Liv and we've got a lot of days to work all of this stuff out. It's not your fault. It's not my fault and it's not Sam's fault. It's Richard White's fault. And his fault alone."

_No, it's mine and there's nothing you can tell me that will change that_.

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It was a rapid thumping that woke her up. Rapid and growing even more rapid. She squinted her eyes trying to place the sound and was surprised to feel Elliot's body sweating as they slept; and then she knew exactly what the rapid sound was. His heart beat. She almost winced once it registered that his hands were digging into her body.

She looked up to see his face coated in sweat, his head rapidly moving this way and that way, "Elliot," she called to him and pried his fingers from her waist so she could sit up, "Elliot," she called again and framed his face, his beard drenched with his sweat, "Elliot!" she said more frantically and grabbed his side shaking him softly, "wake up, baby. Now."

"No…" Elliot moaned in his sleep, "No… please."

"El," she furrowed her brow when his body tightened as if he were taking blows, his hips jerking, his back arching what looked to be uncomfortable, "Elliot!" she shook his shoulders and whimpered when his hands reflexively grabbed her biceps and began to fight her in his sleep. She had no control sitting on her knees and she quickly grabbed his forearms and swung one leg over his body, "Wake up!" she yelled trying to break free of his hold.

He woke with a gasp as he brought his arms to protect his face then suddenly grabbed her roughly again, "Leave him alone!" Elliot yelled shaking her.

"Elliot!" she cried, "You're hurting me!"

For the first time since she'd known him, his release _wasn't_ immediate. His eyes narrowed at her, "You can't have my son," he growled.

"Elliot," she panted and shut her eyes at the pain, "Elliot, let me go, now. It's a dream baby. I'm not him. I won't hurt our kids. Let go of me. Now!" She saw reality flash through his eyes and his hands immediately released her. She exhaled and rested her weight on her hands. She peered down into his frantic eyes and exhaled resting her forehead against the sweat of his own, "Just a dream baby."

"He was here," Elliot whispered and moved his hands to her shoulders, "he was here, right here, in this room and he'd just told me he was gonna get Sam," he started to cry, "and he was going to bring all of the kids into the living room and make me watch him kill them all."

She cupped his face, "Just a nightmare… he's dead. You don't have to be afraid anymore, Elliot. I'm right here," she kissed him softly and was surprised to taste his fear on his lips, "Elliot, I'm right here. Sam and Isaac are in their room. The babies are in the nursery… its okay," she kissed him again, "I'll protect you, now."

"He'll come back, Liv," Elliot panted, "what if he comes back?"

She furrowed her brows, "Elliot, he's dead. He can't come back baby, he can't," she shook her head and took his hand, "And I'm right here," she said and placed his hand on her naked breast. She closed her eyes at his painful caress "I'm right here," she said and kept her hand over his until his embrace softened and she gently lowered her body to his, pulling her knees up to either side of his rib cage.

"Liv," he swallowed hard, "I can't walk," he cried and held tight to her waist, "I can't feel my legs and I'm scared he's gonna come back for the kids, for you-"

"Shh," she kissed his neck, "I'll protect you," she told him again, "he's not ever coming back," she said and kissed him softly. "You said, along time ago, that holding me this way, made you feel protected… let me protect you tonight, Elliot. Let me hold you," she said and wrapped one hand around his neck and stroked his chest with the other as she rested her forehead on his shoulder, "I'll protect you… go back to sleep. Rest."

"Liv-"

She kissed his mouth softly again and peered down at him, "Let me protect you."

He swallowed hard and exhaled wrapping one arm tight around her waist and cupping the back of her head with the other as she kept her body over his. Naked and cool against naked and frantic; intimacy forged by trust and fear.

She waited until his fear dissipated. Waited longer until his breathing grew steady and waited nearly twenty more minutes until his hands finally released their death grip on her. Carefully, she moved off of him not wanting to fall asleep and crush him with her weight. How he managed to be so rough in his weakened state was beyond her, but it gave her hope, let her know that her Elliot, her strong husband was still under all of the scars, the diagnoses and the fear.

He was there.

She searched for her camisole, pulled it over her body and followed with her panties. She sat next to him, her hand finding its way into his and she exhaled deeply, resting back into the back of the couch as he legs stretched out over the mattress. She'd keep her promise this time. She'd protect him, if it meant not sleeping, if it meant keeping a vigil over him to make him feel protected, she'd do it, because deep down, she not only considered that this was her fault.

She believed it.


	50. Chapter 50 Rollar Coaster

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 49: Roller Coaster

Elliot opened one eye and expected to feel Olivia's head over his chest but instead simply felt her hand laced with his. He arched his head to look up and furrowed his brows at his wife who'd fallen asleep sitting up, her head hanging at what was sure to be an uncomfortable position, "Olivia," he squeezed her hand softly, "honey, wake up."

Her eyes shot open and she pulled her head up, wincing at the pain and stiffness before focusing on him, "El, what's wrong? Are you in pain?" she asked quickly and immediately moved for his medicine before she felt his hand tug on hers again.

"Morning," he smiled softly and pulled her back to him. He kissed the crown of her head through a small smile, "Did you sleep like that all night?"

She held him tightly and kissed his chest, "I guess I just fell asleep."

He stroked her back through her camisole, "You don't have to keep a vigil, Liv. I want you to get sleep."

She exhaled, ignored his concern and turned to face him, "Omelet?"

He grinned, "You know I'm not gonna say no to my favorite."

She chuckled softly and kissed the corner of his mouth, "Go back to bed, I'll get the kids ready and then your nurse should be here."

"Is she young and utterly gorgeous?" He asked playfully, "'Cause I feel that you should know that I only strip for young gorgeous women such as yourself."

She smirked and arched her brows, "I met her at the hospital… she's definitely something to look at, Elliot…and you're gonna love her demeanor."

"Oooh," he grinned. "Too bad breakfast with my amazing wife sounds so much better."

She chuckled, rested her forehead against his and kissed him softly on the mouth, "I've got to get a move on, I want to try and breastfeed today… see if the boobs will cooperate with me."

He smirked and caressed her breast softly, "Uh… if they need some encouragement, you'll let me know?"

She kissed him again and smiled, "Will do… Do you need to go to the restroom?"

"Uh… no. I'll wait for the nur-"

"El!" she groaned, "Didn't you learn that you can't hold it as long as you used to?"

"I think I can wait an hour… if I can't, then… maybe."

Olivia exhaled in frustration, "Whatever. I'm not gonna fight this early," she kissed him again, rubbed his chest softly, "How's the ring?"

He held up his hand, "Pretty good actually, a little snug but I think my hand is just swollen."

She gently took his hand and kissed it, "You know that's not the ring I was talking about."

He exhaled, pulled his hand out of hers and looked down, "I know… I just, uh… I don't feel like looking right now-"

"I can look-"

"I'm cold-"

"My hands are warm-"

"Liv-"

"Elliot," she said softly and rested her hand on his chest, "we've got thirty days to see. This was your first night at home and it was a pretty stressful and long night… if it's not broken that's okay… let me-"

"No," he told her adamantly, "I'll look when I'm good and ready."

She took a deep breath, rested her palm in her chin and rubbed his chest softly with her other hand, "Alright… I'll let you know when your nurse is here," she said in defeat, "because I'm too tired to argue with you all morning."

"Liv-"

"Whatever, Elliot," she said and stood up, "I've got a different morning routine now, it takes me a little longer to get to all four kids on my own, so I better get started."

"Oli-"

"Get some sleep, Elliot," she said over her shoulder as she walked away.

She kept a careful eye on her watch as she went through the typical morning routine. She thanked God almost daily that Hannah was perfectly content holding her own bottle which meant Olivia had one free hand to either breast feed Solomon, which was usually the case, or bottle feed him and hold his bottle with her chin as she prepared diaper bags with her free hand, which, since her milk flow was anything but cooperative this morning, she was doing.

She smiled to herself as she pulled the diaper bags together with onsies, diapers and various other things the babies would need, she started the role as mother a nervous woman and has blossomed into a woman capable of several tasks at once, feeding, packing, nurturing and cleaning up the preverbal white streak that seemed to be a permanent fixture to her daily attire.

"Diapers," she smiled down at her son who laughed and kicked his feet as soon as she put him on the changing table, "ah, you love a clean toosh, I know," she smiled and quickly diapered and changed him. She'd learned to handle both of them on her own and delicately supported her son in her arm before scooping up a much lighter Hannah in her other arm, "off to the play pen," she entertained them and quickly put them down in the playpen she started to keep in the living room.

"Olivia," Elliot said softly, "please come and talk with me. I'm sorry."

She shook her head and ran her hand through her hair, "I know you are Elliot," she assured him, "but you've got to think before you speak… you're not the only one affected by this," she told him, "I've got to wake up the boys."

"Liv-"

"What!" she hissed and quickly put her temper in check, "What?" she said gently, "what do you need?"

He looked at her, saw her frustration with him and exhaled letting his head rest onto the pillow as he stared at the ceiling, "Will you put the kids on the bed with me?"

She licked her lips, "Elliot… I'm sorry. They roll and scoot around now, it's not safe. I'm not sure you could get to them if they got out of your reach."

He groaned in frustration and slapped at the mattress, "Will you push the playpen closer to me, then?"

She smiled softly, "Sure," she agreed and pushed the playpen until it was right next to Elliot's bedside, he reached in and touched Hannah and a grin spread over his face, "Olivia?"

"Yeah?" she answered genuinely happy to see him smile.

"I sorry… this is just… it makes me feel, not normal."

She nodded softly, "I know that… I know what if feels like to not feel normal, to have your body rebel against you, I do. But, Elliot… it's either hot or cold, I can't take you being both, it's throwing me for a loop. It hurts more than you realize, Elliot."

"Liv-"

"Get some sleep," she told him again, "I need to get the boys around or Sam and I will be late for school."

"You never told me what you were studying."

She exhaled in exhaustion, "It's not really important, is it?"

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"One little monkey, sleeping in his bed," Olivia whispered in Isaac's ear, "his mommy came in and-"

"Kissed me" Isaac giggled and immediately sat up, "on my head!" he grinned pointing to where she kissed him on his crown every morning.

She laughed "Hmm, looks like you've got that one down. No sleeping with Zeus last night?"

He grinned, "Big boy bed… pee pee."

She arched her brow, "You wet your bed?"

He shook his head frantically and covered his naked hips, "Gotta go!" he laughed and slipped off of his bed, holding himself as he ran to the restroom.

"Hey," Olivia grinned and rubbed Sam's back, "you faking?"

"No."

She laughed, "Honey… you can't answer and expect me to believe you're asleep… although I really love that you responded and didn't nod. I really love that," she told him and kissed his temple, "So… guess what?"

"What?"

"I remember what tomorrow is," she chuckled and tickled him, "seems you're gonna be ten years old!" He grinned and nestled close to her, before growing silent. "You're not pleading' the fifth on me are ya?"

"Do you love me still?" he asked softly and already began to cry against his mother as his body shook and he held tight to her.

She kissed the top of his head and ran her fingers through his hair, "Of course I do… always," she said gently, "Always."

"Even though I broke your heart?"

She furrowed her brow, "Honey, you didn't break my heart, who told you that you did?"

"You."

"_Me_? No I didn't… why do you think I said that?"

He sniffled and began to cry, his tears falling onto her camisole, "I heard you pray… I always listened to you pray 'cause you would cry so much in the night times and I heard you and I would pray with you but, in my head so you couldn't hear me… and one night you told God that your heart was broken 'cause daddy wasn't next to you… it's my fault he wasn't hom-"

"No," she cut him off and squeezed his little body, "no, that is so far from the truth Samuel Stabler. Yes, my heart was broken because your dad wasn't with me and yes I cried a lot at night time, but your dad is with me now, and God did that because that was what he saw fit to do. You didn't break my heart, honey… the man that hurt your father broke my heart, if anything, you've made me so happy right now."

"Happy?" he furrowed his brows and wiped at his runny nose, "how did I make you happy, mom?"

She smiled softly and ran her knuckle over his cheek, "Because you're letting me hear your voice more and more and you just told me that you've been talking to God, that really makes my heart happy," she smiled and wiped at her tears, "I love you," she told him and pulled him back to her wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"I love you too, mom… but its still too scary" he sobbed.

"I know," she whispered, "but one day, you'll wake up and you won't be afraid anymore."

"Will that day come soon?"

"It will come when it's supposed to, and until then, keep waking me and your daddy up and we'll keep telling you that we love you."

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"Hi!" Olivia grinned at the fifty-something nurse at the front door, "it's Thea right?"

"Yes," she smiled tightly and offered a small bow of her head, "I'm here to take care of Mr. Stabler."

"Come on in," Olivia smiled and opened the foyer closet, "I cleared a space for your bag and things like that. I've already fed him breakfast but I'm tight for time and we didn't go over the exercises," she said as she led her through the house where Isaac bolted past them in nothing but sneakers and socks."

"Oh my!" Thea covered her chest with her hand.

"Monkey!" Olivia scolded and snatched him up quickly, "go get your clothes back on, you're gonna make mom late for school."

"Hi," Isaac waved at the new lady and pointed to her rather large nose that held up narrow glasses, "Daddy nose?"

Olivia closed her eyes in embarrassment, "No… be nice… go find clothes."

"European nose," Thea informed him in a deep, unfeminine voice that Olivia was sure was gonna have Elliot groaning in misery.

Isaac furrowed his brow, "Pee nose?"

"Monkey," Olivia hissed and let him down, "Clothes. Now. Move it buster."

"He's not in school? He doesn't have a nanny?" Thea asked with an arrogance that Olivia smelled a mile away and wasn't sure how long she'd be able to handle this type of a personality in her home.

"He's_ two_… Sam!" Olivia called for him knowing he was debating his clothes, "baby, you look great, let's go! If my teacher gives a pop quiz I'm gonna miss it!"

"Two?" Thea arched a brow, "and _you're_ in school? Wouldn't you feel like more of a mom at home, tending to your children?"

Olivia led her into the living room and smiled at Elliot who had somehow managed to lift both Hannah and Solomon out of the play pen and rest them on his chest as they all three slept, "Two times two, actually," Olivia informed her, "and I'm a good mother. I'm committed to my family which means I need to finish my degree to get a better job. Was there any other personal or rude question you needed to ask me?"

Thea took a breath, "My shift ends promptly at the time that was assigned to you, should you be late I go into over time-"

"Don't worry," Olivia told her trying to keep her irritation at bay, "Elliot and I would never want to keep you here longer than necessary, it wouldn't be right." _In fact it would be cruel and unusual punishment for my husband. _

Sam made his way to his mother's voice and tugged on her shirt motioning to the knot of his tie.

Thea assessed Sam and Isaac as they went about their morning, "You had them close together? That's not necessarily good."

Olivia exhaled and kneeled in front of Sam, her forehead against his as she fixed his tie, "Why are you wearing a tie today?"

He remained silent and Olivia felt her heart sink again, "Hey… you talking'?"

Sam nodded 'no'.

Olivia exhaled in frustration of his indecisiveness and for the first time had to think twice and then a third time about yelling at him. Forcing him to speak. Forcing him to come to terms with what happened, but then again, she herself wasn't even dealing with it, how could she expect him to? She kissed his forehead and straightened his tie and hugged him, "I love you, get your bag lets go."

"Sam is ten tomorrow," Olivia informed Thea as Sam left and she placed her own books in her bag.

"You should feed him better. He's too small for his age."

"Isaac," Olivia said softly, "go get your cheerios, quick like a bunny." She waited until he was gone and looked at Thea, "Look, I don't who exactly you are, all I know is that Elliot's insurance covers you and you met the criteria I asked for. Although, I did not under any circumstance ask for a bitter woman who would criticize my family before she got to know them. Sam is a beautiful young man and my children are none of your concern, nor is the matter in which I feed them. Understand?"

"I was simply sugg-"

"I suggest, that you focus on your job which is my husband right there," she said pointing to Elliot who had since woken up and was looking at the women in confusion.

"Liv-"

"Elliot," she smiled softly, "Here's your nurse, Thea… she's really nice," Olivia said and picked up Solomon, "Aren't you Thea?" she said before slinging her bag over her shoulder and motioning for Elliot to hand her Hannah.

Thea's nostrils flared, "So sweet, I may melt if I get wet," she deadpanned.

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Liv, can you stay home today? I'd rather have you here."

"I'm sorry," she told him and kissed his head trying to balance the babies, "I'm running late but I'm out around noon today, I'll come straight home… Sam, baby get the diaper bag I forgot it."

Sam darted through the house.

"You should not run in a home, young man," Thea interjected firmly.

Sam furrowed his brows at the new voice and quickly made his way to where his mother's voice had come from and hid behind her.

"Don't scold my boy," Elliot croaked and sat up, "he's free to do what he needs to, his mother is late and he's helping her… Sam get the bag, son. You're fine."

"I wasn't scolding, I was merely-"

"Putting your nose where it doesn't belong," Elliot told her. "Look, I don't want to start off on the wrong foot with you, but… our family is our world and we won't let you disrespect us. If you don't think you can handle that, see yourself out."

She gave a short nod, "My apologies sir."

"It's Elliot," he told her and smiled at his wife, "Bye, Liv… I'll call you later."

She walked quickly to the front door, a piece of toast in her mouth with the boys following her, a baby in each arm and book bag hanging from her shoulder, "Uh… on my break between classes… nine- fifteen, I love you." She mumbled around the toast and walked out.

Elliot looked at the nurse and frowned_. Liv left me with a Gestapo nurse. Should have just pissed in the jug this morning. Should have told her about the ring not breaking. This nurse is definitely something to look at… and fear. _

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"Elliot?" Paul entered the house pocketing the spare key.

"Who are you?" Thea asked with a raised brow.

"Uh… who are you?" Paul furrowed his brow.

"I'm Mr. Stabler's caretaker-"

"He's fine!" Elliot bellowed from the living room, "I called him and asked him to come."

Thea stiffened, "I cannot allow you in this home. Mr. Stabler needs his rest."

Paul raised her brows, "Allow?" he narrowed his eyes and pushed past her with Hannah and Solomon in the vest and Addison walking close to him, "where did you guys get this one?"

Elliot groaned, "Germany, I'm almost certain."

"I come from France, actually. Had you known culture you would have known my origin."

Elliot rolled his eyes, "Is Thea even French? Aren't you supposed to have a cone shaped head if you come from France?" Paul chuckled and rested Hannah in his arms as he sat in his chair.

"I don't understand," Thea said tightly.

"Well," Paul piped in and mocked her, "had you known _Dan Akroyd_ you'd have known that inference but, alas, you don't… Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to visit with my friend," Paul said with a raised brow.

"I'm not to leave him unattended."

"Well, if _I'm here_, he's not unattended and he doesn't need someone to hover over him, can you spare us thirty minutes?"

Thea huffed and reluctantly left them to their selves.

"Geeze," Paul chuckled, "what did you do to Olivia to deserve that battle axe?"

"I have no idea," Elliot shook his head and chuckled, "But let me tell you, she asked if I had to pee this morning and I told her no… I don't want her anywhere near me," he laughed and peered down at his daughter, "thank you for bringing them back to me."

"Not a problem… you sounded anxious on the phone… you okay?"

Elliot tickled Hannah and smiled as she laughed in his arms and peered up at him with large brown eyes, "I'm fine… do you remember that movie, uh… Misery?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I swear I keep thinking Thea is gonna bring a sledge hammer to my legs. The woman is evil, Paul."

"Fire her," he shrugged.

"Believe me," Elliot shook his head, "I'm considering calling and asking for a replacement."

Paul chuckled as Addison climbed up on the couch next to him, "Ellie?" he asked and pointed to Elliot who's brows rose high in surprise.

"Yep, that's Uncle Elliot."

Addison giggled and rested his head against Paul.

"Paul?" Elliot asked hesitantly.

"Yeah? She too heavy? Want me to take her?"

"No," Elliot smiled and brought her to his chest holding her tight, "Um… can I uh… well, see you and Casey are the only ones… and well, I mean you could walk and feel, but…uh…. I mean… I'm assuming… uh there was sex… _right_? Please say there was sex and I'm not gonna have to join a monastery."

Paul laughed, "Yeah, man. There was sex… why? You worried?"

Elliot exhaled "Isn't every man worried he won't please his wife?"

"Yeah… but, are you worried because of the injury? Or is it something more?"

Elliot kissed his daughter's head, "Nothing is happening, man. I've ran over every X rated encounter with my wife and nothing is happening."

"She doesn't want sex?"

"Uh… well, I don't want to get too specific about her, but… I think it's the contrary, but can you blame her? I mean, I woke up several weeks ago, and I'm dying. She's been without for several _months_… she's got to be dying."

Paul smirked, "You're confident."

"Damn straight," Elliot grinned then frowned, "Well, I was anyway."

"Look man, if she's pressuring you and you're not read-"

"No," Elliot exhaled, "Liv wouldn't do that to me… if anything _I'm_ toying with _her_."

"Then why are we having this really awkward conversation?" Paul asked and let Solomon lay on the carpet to play with Addison.

"Uh… well," Elliot cleared his throat and passed Hannah to Paul so she could join the fun on the floor, "uh, it's… _I_ want to and _she_ wants to, but uh… my body sort of doesn't do anything."

"Oh, I got you," Paul said without so much as flinching or smirking, "did you talk to your doctors."

"Yeah, they put a stupid paper ring around me and told me to wait thirty days."

"Well, I'm glad they went to school for ten years to be able to tell you that," he said sarcastically, "so… what exactly is your question?"

"Well… we're you stressed out when Casey came home from the hospital?"

"Holy hell you have no idea," Paul told him, "I didn't know what to do, I had so much to learn about moving her and keeping on her not to sit or stand to long… and you know how stubborn the woman can be. I think we fought every single day at least once a day for a very long time… but, it was good. Let me know she was still willing to fight, even if it was me she was fighting. The stress… it uh, kept me down for a while if you know what I mean?"

Elliot nodded, "Liv and I are fighting… I don't like to fight with her but, man," Elliot shook his head, "I can't stand that she has to take care of me. It shouldn't be like that, I'm a man, I should be the one helping her."

"She's your wife, she has every right to be helping you and you're a jerk if you're not letting her."

Elliot took in a breath and let it out slowly, absorbing his statement before moving on, "Uh… the first time you and Casey, uh… made love again. Everything go okay?"

"Nope… but, I'm sorry, I can't tell you Casey's experience. What kind of husband would I be if I talked about her, like that, to another man?"

"I'm not trying to pry," Elliot said and exhaled, "I'm just trying to figure out what in the world is going on."

Paul exhaled, "I can't tell you about Casey but I can tell you about how I felt… .might give you some insight to Olivia right now, because believe me… she's got a ton of stuff to deal with."

"I want to help with the kids, but I'm not sure she trusts me alone with them anymore."

Paul smiled softly, "Man, you just got out of the hospital… you couldn't even lower Hannah to the ground. Give your body some time. Olivia is a fierce mother, you know she's not gonna put the kids in danger… get strong and you'll see her give you more responsibility. Right now, she's probably just focused on getting you out of that chair."

Elliot nodded and exhaled, "I don't like to see her under so much stress and know that I've caused it. I don't like that she's got to deal with the kids alone… I picked up the babies from the play pen and it took so much of my energy that I fell asleep right after I got them into my arms. That's pathetic man."

"She'll manage and she'll do well," Paul told him.

"You should have seen her running around this morning, she's so frantic," Elliot shook his head, "it's never been that way. We've always tackled the mornings together and she made breakfast and didn't even get to eat it. Walked out with a piece of toast in her mouth, babies in her arms and bags hanging off of her, the boys following her. It was funny and infuriating at the same time."

"That'll change man. It will, as soon as you're strong enough to start getting around by yourself, you can help her."

"Last night, I thought about it," Elliot said, eerily void of emotion.

"About what?" Paul furrowed his brow.

"It. Killing myself."

"Hey! Shove that talk right now, man… Let me tell you something, I just watched my wife have a mental break down, if you think I'm gonna sit here and watch a friend have the same, you're off your damn rocker, man. That's selfish!"

"I said I _thought_ about it."

"And_ I_ said it's selfish!"

Elliot groaned, "I just… man, I pissed all over myself and had to have my wife clean me like I was helpless baby."

"So you pissed, who the hell cares? That's not enough to kill yourself."

Elliot exhaled, "She… got me in the shower and uh.. left me alone. I tried to clean up, and I couldn't even clean my own butt, Paul… do you know how degrading that is?"

"Yeah," Paul said softly, "I do, because I had a wife that couldn't do… and I had to beg and plead with her to let me help her. She was so damn stubborn about it that she kept getting bladder infections and finally I had enough and just started carrying her to the restroom every two hours until she got the hint and started asking… Olivia can't carry you man… cut her some slack. You know what it's like to be in the chair, but you've got no idea what it's like to be the one left standing."

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"Elliot," Olivia called into the house with Hannah in the baby vest and Solomon and Isaac in her arms, both sleeping on her shoulders. She let her keys fall wherever and kicked the door softly before deciding she was only gonna make it with her load to the living room. She placed Solomon in the play pen, Isaac on the couch and extracted Hannah from the vest before laying her next to her brother and exhaling only to feel herself being grabbed from behind, her feet coming out from under her as Elliot pulled her into his wheel chair. She laughed, "You're gonna hurt your self!"

"Hello, gorgeous."

"Where is your nurse?" she smiled and rested her face in his neck.

"Attila the Hun? I fired her," he said matter of fact.

"You _what_?" she asked and turned to look at him, "Elliot… why did you do that?"

"Cause she was mean," he smiled and kissed her mouth, "I want someone as nice to me as you are, Liv… she was Satan's right hand man… and with a voice like that I'm pretty sure about that man part."

Olivia chuckled, "Yeah, a little rough."

He backed his chair up, "Watch your legs, we're going for a spin," he smiled.

"Yeah?" she waggled her brows and tucked her legs as she held onto him, "Vegas?"

"Close," he grinned and slowly pushed them down the hall.

"You sure I'm not hurting you? This is a lot of extra weight to wheel around."

"I'm good," he whispered and kissed her neck, "I made you lunch, have you eaten?"

"You made me lunch?" she arched her brows and grinned brightly, "Really?"

"Yeah, Henrietta told me I couldn't so I fired her," he said and very carefully maneuvered them into their restroom.

"Uh… this doesn't look like poker tables and slot machines to me," Olivia smiled.

"Nope," Elliot grinned, "But I haven't gone to the restroom since I woke up and I can't hold it anymore… was wondering, if maybe… you would uh-"

"Done," she whispered and kissed his mouth before standing, "tell me what to do."

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I really don't want to pee in a jug, makes me feel like a senior citizen."

"Okay, well, Roger said you need to practice standing up… want me to hold you up?"

He furrowed his brows and exhaled "This is more embarrassing than I thought… forget it," he shook his head and tried to maneuver out of the bathroom.

"Nope," she told him and quickly locked his breaks, "Elliot," she cupped his face, "You remember when I had my episiotomy and I just about died trying to go to the restroom?"

"Yeah."

"Well… I know exactly how you're feeling right now, and I know you have to pee, you've been holding it too long and it's not good for you Elliot. Look… I'll give you some choices, pee sitting down, pee in the jug or we can try and position you as close to the edge of your chair and hope you make it in the pot… you pick, but you're going pee in the next five minutes or I'm gonna tell your doctor to catheterize you," she told him seriously.

"You wouldn't," he stared at her.

She folded her arms, "To make sure you got better? Yeah, I would… pick Elliot."

"I'm not pissing in a damn jug!" he told her adamantly, "I'm a man, not some sort of comatose vegetable!"

"Okay, then there goes option number two, you've still got more left, do you think we can position the chair to the toilet?"

"I'll loose my balance on the seat," he shook his head, "Liv… please just leave me alone."

She stepped between his legs with one leg, sidestepped the chair with the other and wrapped her arms under his arms, "Fine, I just picked for you, get up. Now, marine."

He groaned and held her shoulder with one arm and pushed off of the counter with his other until he was standing shakily.

"Feet," Olivia told him.

"Liv I don't want to hur-"

"Step on my damn feet, stubborn man!" she told him and was thankful she was still wearing shoes when his body weight covered her, "Let's move," she told him and carefully walked with him in a delicate dance to the toilet, "Stop," she instructed, "Hold me tight, I'm gonna let go," she told him and as soon as she felt his grasp tighten she quickly tugged at his shorts until they fell under their own weight, "Why didn't Thea put a shirt on you?"

"I thought she was gonna break me in half putting my shorts on. The woman is too rough, I said no."

"The air conditioner is on," she told him and embraced his torso as tight as possible, "sit, I got you… you'll get sick with the AC on and no shirt," she said as she braced an arm on the wall and lowered him as gently but as quickly as possible until he was finally sitting and she was surprisingly out of breath, her back aching "You're fat," she teased.

He smirked and looked down at his body, "Yeah… don't look too good these days, huh?"

She smiled down at him and splayed her hand over a poorly defined chest, "You're beautiful… now pee," she grinned and stood, "call me when you need me to help you up."

"Liv," he furrowed his brow.

"Yeah? Not comfortable?"

"Uh… um… it might be awhile," he blushed "number one just became number two."

She grinned at his boyishness and reached under the sink for a bottle of Oust and placed it close by, "Spray _and then_ call me."

Several minutes later he found himself at her mercy again, "So," he exhaled, "I bet you never thought you'd be lugging me around a bathroom before huh?"

"I thought I would be with you through thick and thin. That also means pee and crap, it's not a big deal Elliot, let's go… you clean?"

He looked away, "Yeah… thanks for putting that bar there. You guys thought of everything huh? Even me wiping my own butt?"

"Well," she exhaled putting away the air deodorizer and his magazine, "Casey came by when Frankie was there and she went over every inch of the house, in a wheel chair so I'd understand what it would be like for you… then she told me to sit in it and I did… so, I understand your frustration Elliot, believe me. I ran into the wall about five thousand times. She suggested the bar, said it was hard and it helped her out… these things, El… they're not here to make you feel less than who you are, they're here to help you get better faster and give you confidence to do things on your own."

"How come I can't have the babies home with me? How come Paul had them? I'm their father." He told her.

She exhaled, "Try to pull your boxers up on your own, okay?"

"Will you answer me?"

"I will, pull them up."

He bent over, a motion that would repeatedly throw him off balance but she steadied him with her palms as he completed the simple task of moving his boxers to his thighs, "Liv-"

"Up, let's go, before you get butt suction rings."

He laughed "You are so lady-like and refined."

"Thank you," she smiled and braced his body, "Help me out here, baby, I want twenty-five percent effort from you, lets go, Marine."

Elliot slowly tried to push off of his legs but used most of his upper body to hold onto his wife and push off of the counter top until he was standing on shaky legs. "Alright," Olivia smiled, "Good, reach down and pull'em up."

"I'll fall."

"I'll catch you… do it."

"Liv-"

"Are you disobeying a direct order? Your legs are gonna get tired… pull them up, Marine."

He reached low and she was extremely careful to hold him tight against her as he griped his shorts and slowly pulled them up to his waist. "Feet. Let's go," she told him and gently led him to his chair, feeling the tug of his leg muscles as he moved along with her small strides until he sat. "See, Elliot," she smiled as she fixed his legs, "it's not about me having to take you to the restroom. It's about me _helping_ you to the restroom… you do more and more on your own each time and soon you wont even need me. That's all I want from you baby, I don't care if I have to wheel you in here and get you situated, just so long as your putting forth effort to get better."

"I want to get better Liv… I do."

She smiled and reached for hand sanitizer, knowing it would be too difficult for him to reach up to the sink, "I know," she said and handed it to him forcing him to manipulate the gel into his own hands, "and you're doing so well… I sort of thought maybe you'd still be in bed."

"No," he shook his head, "I don't really like being in bed… do you think…"

"What?" she asked as he finally pressed a dollop into his palm and rubbed as vigorously as he could.

"Nothing. I think it's too much."

"Do I think what?" she asked and released his brakes.

"Do you think, you could help me sit on the couch? I've been in this thing for hours now, and I want to feel normal."

"Sure," she grinned, "how about, we get you on the couch, I'll get the kids in their beds and we'll eat the lunch you made and pop in a movie? We've got a few hours before we need to pick up Sam… sound up for it?"

He smiled "Yeah."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Comfortable?" Olivia asked when they finally got Elliot situated on the couch.

"Yes, thank you," he smiled and squeezed her hand, "I can't believe I'm so tired."

"Maybe you should take a nap instead of watching a movie?"

"No… no, I'd like to spend time with you."

She smiled softly, "Okay… why'd you want to sit on the middle cushion? There's no support for you? Sure you don't want to go to one of the sides?"

"I'm fine… can we eat, I'm hungry."

She kissed his forehead adoringly and smiled when she retrieved the plate of food with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on it, "Were you having childhood flash backs?" she teased from the kitchen and grabbed him a soda, a water for herself.

He chuckled, "Uh… it was the only thing I could reach. I was gonna make something else, but couldn't reach the can opener, so I decided on something else and couldn't reach the microwave blah blah blah," he explained.

"Well, thank you," she grinned and sat next to him on the couch the plate of food between them their drinks on the coffee table, "Hey," she said softly, "give me a kiss."

"Uh uh, I'm hungry," he teased and she moved his face to her lips anyway, kissing him full on the mouth, her tongue slipping between his lips as his hand instantly tangled in her hair. He moaned when her tongue stroked him slowly and he loved feeling his heart rate escalate, he loved being able to zone in on the feelings carousing his body that he normally missed once his erection would normally take over all thought.

Slowly, she ran her tongue along his teeth, smiling as he whimpered against her mouth and groaned when she sucked playfully on his tongue and bottom lip before letting go, "Liv," he exhaled and grinned, "what in the world are you trying to do to me?"

She smiled, "Just thanking my husband for lunch."

He arched his brows, "That was for two PB&J's?"

"Yeah," she smiled and lifted the top to his can of soda only enough so he could get his finger under it.

He took it and opened it with minimal trouble and grinned, "What would happen if took the trash out?"

She shrugged with a smirk, "Don't know… guess we'll have to wait and see."

He grinned and shook his head, "I think you're trying to give me an erection."

She laughed and then smiled softly, "Uh… I wasn't _trying_ to, but uh… is it working?"

He exhaled, "No… not really. This morning… the ring wasn't broken. That's one day down."

"Well," she smiled and took a sip of her water, "I'm not worried, we got twenty-nine more to go, right?"

"Yeah," he shook his head, "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you rest your head on my lap like you used to? Or would you feel weir-" before he could finish his request, she turned her body and rested her head on his lap a smile on her face as she looked up at him.

"I was hoping you'd ask."

He smiled and rested his hand on her abdomen and took a slow bite of his sandwich, "I haven't had one of these in years."

Olivia grinned, "Sam taught me this thing with your tongue, do this," she said with a smile and ran her tongue alone the crevice of the sandwich.

He followed suit easily and Olivia was glad to see it, as she continued to eat her own sandwich. She wondered how long it took him to maneuver around the kitchen, fumble with spoons and knives to fix the sandwich. She smiled to herself and thought that this simple sandwich that normally took her five minutes to make on a slow day, was probably a monumental milestone for him, and somehow, it _did_ taste better, but not because she could lick the sloppily spread peanut butter from between the bread. It was better because, he labored to fix it. To show her that he was still capable even though she knew he always was.

"What are you thinking?" he asked her.

"That you're gorgeous from down here."

He grinned, "I'm flabby… all my muscle has gone to crap."

Slowly, she traced her hand along once sharply cut muscles that offered sheer cliffs as terrain only to feel gentle rolling hills of weak substance, "You're beautiful… you'll get strong again… want to watch that movie?"

"No… I just want to be here with you."

She smiled slipped her hand under his shirt and rubbed his flesh softly, "Sam's birthday is tomorrow, any ideas?"

"Yep, got one thought out… called the humane society today."

"Another dog?" she crinkled her nose, "think he'll go for it? I asked him about it a few weeks ago and I thought he was gonna lop off my head. Boy was pissed."

"He's never gonna go and pick one out," Elliot told her, "so I think we just have to present a puppy to him a little differently, is all."

"I think he'll hate the dog even more if he feels like were making him take it."

"Yep, which is why we're not just giving him one… I'm waiting for a call then I'll tell you my masterful plan."

She chuckled, "It's so good to hear him talking although, when I dropped him off at school, and he didn't seem to talk to Alex. I called her and she said he stopped by the classroom but it's still same old quiet Sam."

"I think he needs one thing at a time."

"I worry about inviting people over for his birthday… will he talk?"

"I don't know, but we shouldn't take away a party out of fear, invite people," Elliot told her, "it'll be a blast."

She chuckled and exhaled, "Elliot?"

"Liv… why do we have generic peanut butter?"

"What? Talk about a bird walk… what's wrong with the peanut butter?"

"It's generic… the bread is cardboard, cheap cardboard… what's the deal?"

"Elliot," she raised her brows, "in case you forgot, I am unemployed and what were getting from the force right now for you is refried crap… baby, I had to cut corners."

"You have new shoelaces."

She furrowed her brows and raised her shoe as if to confirm her statement to herself, "So?"

"So… that means you needed _new_ sneakers, but you just bought new shoe laces instead."

She smiled, "You're getting faster and faster… yeah it was a buck for the laces versus sixty bucks for the shoes, which means I bought that laces and had enough for the generic peanut butter _and_ I could put gas in the car."

He furrowed his brow, "I'll start looking for some type of job tomorrow."

"What?" she shook her head, "No! Don't even argue with me. You're gonna sit your butt in this house and work on your exercises and focus on walking, besides Elliot, you can't be a cop and get a different job, that doesn't make since."

"Liv," he shook his head and raised his injured hand, "Look at my hand."

"I'm lookin' and its fine."

He put the can of soda in it and his hand shook immediately, "Its not steady Liv… I'll never be a cop, I'll never pass a range qualification."

"Yes you w-"

"No, Liv," he shook his head, "I won't… I talked to my Captain today."

"That jerk didn't so much as visit you not one time in the hospital!" she protested, "and he just suddenly calls to see how you are?"

"Um… actually they called to offer me early retirement." She furrowed her brows and sat up to face him.

"What?"

"Liv," he shook his head, "I've been in the game a long time… they're offering me my medical benefits for life and they want to give me an early retirement."

"You haven't done your twenty."

He smiled, "Pretty darn close, Liv… it's a good retirement, not the most luxurious but… the money Munch left us… you've been working it haven't you?"

"Invested it, yeah," she exhaled, "it's got a good profit. The money from the apartment is building a really good amount of interest. I've saved a lot since we got married and took on two incomes… Elliot, you've always been a cop, do you even _want_ to do anything else?"

"Liv," he swallowed, "I don't think I'm gonna have a choice."

"Do you have to decide right now? I mean, can't they wait until you've started walking to decide rather or not they should force you into retirement?"

"I got time to think about it, but… I mean… do you like not going into the precinct?"

"This isn't about me, El."

"Answer me… please. Do you?"

She exhaled, "At first… I was so angry, I had no direction and it didn't feel right knowing I wasn't a cop. It was different from being on leave or maternity leave because at least then I knew I was going back, but… knowing you're never going back? That was hard. Then one day, not to long ago, I woke up and I was getting the babies ready and it hit me… I was born to be whatever I wanted to be. Years ago… I wanted to be a cop and I was and I was good."

"And today? Right now?"

"Right now," she smiled, "right now I want to be a mother to Hannah and Solomon and Isaac and Sam and… it feels good not worrying about a case interfering with my time with them or you. I want to be your wife now. I don't want to leave our bed in the middle of the night to deal with a victim. I gave a lot of years to victims. I put them before everything else, and I don't know… I feel like, I feel like it's finally okay to put my wants before their needs and I want to have an eight to four job where I sit at a desk and wonder if my butt is getting bigger or if I'm developing carpel tunnel. I want to be a soccer mom that is pressed for time and frantically doing fifteen things at once. I want to lounge around with you on the weekends and not worry about having to leave…. I want to do all of those things, and I couldn't do them until now. I think… getting fired; I think it was a blessing in disguise."

He exhaled and looked at her, "What if I told you… I don't want to leave our bed in the middle of the night, or have my time with the kids interrupted… what if I told you, that I'm seriously considering letting them retire me. Robbery isn't fulfilling, Liv."

"Go back to SVU," she said softly, "Wait for an opening for a lieu and go. I'm not there, there's no conflict of interest… you can go back. Do you want to go back?"

He rubbed the back of his neck in worry, "I had a lot of time in the hospital, Liv… a lot of time."

"I know… and I'm sorry you couldn't be home."

He rested his hand on her thigh, "I didn't realize how much I crave being next to you at night until I couldn't' have you there. I didn't understand what it meant to look at your children and know that they're my world, until that almost got taken away. Maybe it's a wake up call, maybe I'm just bummed right now, but I don't see myself going back to robbery, and SVU… it's too much to deal with victims and come home to a family. I think…I think it's time I rearranged my priorities, Liv."

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"Happy Birthday," Olivia smiled against Sam's cheek, "better wake up, birthday boy… I know you're faking," she chuckled and tickled him lightly until he broke out in laughter.

"Morning mom."

"Morning?" she laughed, "baby, you got the wrong time… remember you came from the pool and you went to take a nap?"

Sam smiled, "Oops."

Olivia stretched out next to him, "How was school today?"

"Mom… how do you kiss a girl?"

Olivia's brow shot up, "Huh?"

"A girl… am I supposed to kiss a girl if a girl kisses me?"

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Who kissed you?"

A girl in class, I don't like her. She's not like Crystal. Crystal wouldn't have embarrassed me like that." Olivia smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Like that!" he pulled away, "that's how that grottie cootie girl kissed me, yuck!"

"Hey!" Olivia smiled, "You calling your mother a grottie cootie girl?"

"No," he told her honestly, "but I don't like Drew. I'm not gonna marry her, I'm gonna marry Crystal and make her happy like you and dad make each other happy."

Olivia grinned, "Well, you've got a lot of years to spend with Crystal before there's kissing going on, so don't rush."

"I don't want to kiss her right now, mom," he told her, "But… when I want to… how do I?"

_Well, this is harder than I thought it would be_. She exhaled, tipped his chin up and kissed him softly on the cheek, "Just like that."

He giggled, "That's easy stuff."

"Yeah, well… you're ten, that's all you need to know for now."

He furrowed his brow, "There's more?"

Her eyes went wide once she realized she'd just walked into a no man's land that she created, "Uh… you know what? Your dad is waiting for you."

"For what?"

"He was hoping you'd take him for a spin in his chair. He wants to get out a little bit and I need to putter around the house before everyone gets here."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Who is coming here?"

"All of your friends," she smiled, "Crystal will be here, the Novak's and the Grays and Chloe and Donovan and the people from the station… why are you shaking?" she asked softly and rubbed his back as he nestled close to her.

"Do I have to talk with them?"

"I think they would be very sad if you didn't… why wouldn't you want to talk with them?"

He sniffled, "When I woke up… I was all alone except for Isaac, and it hurt me."

She furrowed her brows, "Baby… when you woke up I was right here and Isaac is helping your dad right now."

"No," he exhaled, "I woke up and it was a strange bed, with a strange voice in the room and," he started to cry harder into her body, "I couldn't smell you or dad and it was too scary for me."

She held him tight, kissed the crown of his head, "Oh, sweet boy," she whispered "we're right here with you now, and I'm so sorry you had to wake up to a scary place."

"I thought… I thought it was all a scary dream and you and dad weren't real and Christoff had to take me to a new house."

Her sob fell out, brushed against his hair as she rocked him, or was he rocking her? She wasn't sure. "No baby… we'll never give you up. We'll always be right here for you, with you, helping you, loving you, we'll always be, and one day you'll be all grown up and you'll wish we stopped wanting to be right next to you."

He giggled, "No… God told me, last night, that we'll always be together, no matter what. He said things might get sad, things might get super scary for me, but I'll always have you and dad and you'll always have me and dad and dad will always have me and you."

She grinned, kissed his temple, "Have I told you, how much I love to hear your words? Your voice?"

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"LIV!" Elliot laughed from the bedroom, "LIV STOP HIM!"

Olivia bolted down the hall, turned the corner and stopped dead in her tracks, her hands covering her face as she laughed, "Isaac! That's mean, monkey!"

Isaac giggled and continued to push Elliot's wheel chair out of his father's reach before he simply climbed up into it and sat grinning at his mother, "Uh oh!"

Elliot chuckled, "I asked him to push it close to me," he said sitting up on the edge of the bed, "and the little monkey pushed it right past me and said 'bye-bye'."

Olivia laughed and made her way to their son, "Come here my little sac of trouble," she smiled and kissed him. He laughed and called for his dog who promptly met him as he made his way from his mother's arms.

"Bye bye," he waved and took Zeus down the hall with him.

"Good sleep?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah," Elliot nodded, "Uh… can you bring me the chair?"

"No."

"No?" he looked at her in confusion. "Are you upset with me?"

"No," she smiled and kissed his mouth softly, "come on. We're walking to it."

"Oh, Liv… the exercises wore me out."

"That's why you slept… come on Marine," she encouraged and wrapped her arms around him.

"This would be more interesting if you were naked, you know that?"

She laughed and helped him up, "Feet, you horny man."

"You have no idea… I know you want me Liv, just wait and see, when I heal up you and me are gonna have to take a weekend away from the kids… I'm gonna make you yell."

Her eyes went wide, her lips curled into a blushing smile, "Really? That a promise?"

"I told you baby… I guarantee all my work."

She smiled, kissed him gently, "You're not shaking yet," she told him.

"I'm tired though."

"I know you are, Elliot," she whispered, "but just stand a little longer, okay?"

He closed his eyes, "I miss dancing with you."

"It's not like we did ballroom."

"I still miss it, I miss holding you like that and talking with you."

"Then we'll have to get you better so we can dance," she whispered and kissed him softly again until his body began to shake and she quickly pulled away, "Turning," she informed him and moved her feet gently until he was sitting in his chair his face bearing an odd expression. "El? You okay? Tired? Overdid it?"

He blinked slowly, his brow furrowing as his eyes bounced side to side.

"El? What is it? Do you have to go to the restroom?"

He looked up at her and exhaled slowly, "No… is Sam ready?"

She traced his hair line, "What just happened? Where did you go?"

He smiled softly and she saw disappointment swell in his eyes for a split second, "Where will it be?"

She exhaled, decided she wasn't up for a fight, "After the speed limit sign about twenty feet off the path, whatever you told them to get… believe me, they got. It looks like its on deaths door."

Elliot grinned, "Perfect."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Want to catch loads of speed?" Elliot asked as Sam closed the front door, inserted the key to the top deadbolt and locked their home.

"How?"

"Sit on my lap and we'll fly down this ramp Frankie and Mac built me."

"I think mom will be upset if I let you get hurt."

Elliot chuckled, "My boy, do you hear your mother out here?"

"No."

"Then hop on."

"Dad… will it hurt you? Will you get too tired? What will happen if I can't get you back to the house?'

Elliot took his hand softly, "You don't worry about me, not today. It's your birthday and I want to take you for a spin, just down the road."

"But… what if you get too tired?"

"I promise, I'll ask you for help… would you like to push the chair? You be my legs I'll be your eyes… just like God said?"

Sam beamed and climbed into his father's lap, "Let's roll dad!"

Elliot chuckled and pushed himself down the ramp as Sam held onto his dad and laughed as the speed increased only minimally but enough to make this strange endeavor fun for both men. Elliot pushed himself down the driveway, the smell of country air filling his nostrils, his son's shampoo and gel making him smile until he came to the gate. That damn gate.

Sam felt his father tense immediately and he climbed off of his lap and framed his father's face, "Dad? What's wrong? Do I call mom? She gave me the cell phone just in case."

"No," Elliot whispered starring at the control box to the gate and wondering why it had been relocated several feet from the gate, why a section of the gate had been re-welded with iron rods spaced more closely than before.

"Why are you crying?" Sam asked softly, "Are you scared Daddy?"

Elliot looked down into innocent eyes and exhaled "Yeah, son. I am."

"Mom says I can protect you while your with me, she says she trusts me to do that. Do you?"

Elliot grinned and kissed Sam's hands, "I do… let's roll," he said hoarsely and began to push himself across the track of the gate once Sam hopped back on, "are you excited about your birthday today?"

"No," Sam exhaled and leaned against Elliot's chest as Elliot rolled carefully over the hard packed dirt.

"No? Why not?"

"It's scary to love people," Sam confessed. "It hurts really bad when you loose them."

"You haven't lost any of us," Elliot said softly as his arms began to grow tired. This may not have been such a good idea but, if he couldn't do this he knew Olivia wouldn't let him be alone with the kids while she was at school. He'd be stuck with another Annie Wilkes. He exhaled and stopped pushing.

"I thought you were dead dad," Sam confessed softly, "I thought you were. I thought that I would never get to tell you thank you for teaching me to swim."

Elliot rubbed his belly softly, "You're welcome, but, from what I've heard it's your mom that has been teaching you to race."

Sam smiled softly, "I can't win."

"Why?"

"If I swim too fast… I don't know when to flip to go back. I hit my head sometimes, so I have to swim the same… you can't win if you don't keep going faster."

Elliot took in the information, "Well then, we'll have to work on something to prevent that."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"The man? He'll never come back?"

"Never."

"Why was mom away from us in the hospital? That was so scary."

Elliot furrowed his brow and then chuckled, "Uh… your mom got in a little bind and she had to go and be responsible."

Sam exhaled, "Is that why she has the shackle on her?"

"Shackle?"

"Yeah, in social studies we learned about the people who get tied up and put into the castle prisons… they called them shackles. The people die… will mom die, soon?"

Elliot ran his hand over Sam's hair, "No… why don't you ask her about it?"

"I don't want to know. I do want to know, but I don't want to know."

"Well… that's very girly sounding of you," Elliot teased.

"Dad!" Sam laughed, "I'm a man."

"I know… but you're so indecisive, I couldn't resist."

Sam chuckled, "She won't leave us?"

"No."

"Not from the cancer?"

"No."

"Not from the man?"

"No."

"Not from the shackle?"

"No."

"How come a man comes to the house? Mom gets so frustrated when he comes by and she's so mad when he leaves. Who is he? He smells really bad."

Elliot exhaled, "Son… these are things I want you to talk to her about. She hurts so much when you don't talk to her."

"I'm sorry dad."

Elliot smiled, "You don't have to tell me. I just want you to talk to her-"

"I'm sorry I didn't visit you. That's what I was saying," Sam confessed softly and wiped at a tear.

Elliot wrapped his arms around him, "That really means a lot to me," Elliot whispered, "I missed you so much."

"It hurt you?"

"Yes. But I understand… we just want you to talk to us. Both of us hurt so much when we don't get to hear you."

Sam exhaled, "Want me to push you dad?"

"You calling me tired?" Elliot chuckled.

"It's okay to ask for help," Sam said and slid off of his dad's lap, "that's what Crystal tells me. She says sometimes I'm one stubborn cookie, that it's okay if I need her to read me something. So, I think it's the same for you too. 'Cause, see, my teacher says I have a disability and maybe, right now you do too and it's okay for you to need help," he explained and began to push his dad along the path, "But maybe you can tell me where to go, 'cause I don't know."

Elliot smiled to himself and wiped at his tear, "Straight a head and we're gonna take a little rest, see what's around."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to come and see me swim?"

"Absolutely!" Elliot grinned, "Wouldn't miss that one for the world."

Sam laughed next to his father's cheek as he continued to push him along at a slow pace. The summer's breeze caressing them as cars rolled by periodically and the son shown down through clear sky's.

The blind boy leading the broken father.

What could possibly be more incredible?

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"You look worried."

"They've been gone longer than I anticipated, Casey," Olivia said and exhaled, "Sam was supposed to call if anything happened."

Casey chuckled, "Elliot is probably showing him how to do a wheelie in the chair… let them have their time together… Alex is bringing a cake."

"Really?" Olivia grinned, "Remind me to leave her some money."

"Yeah, like she's really gonna accept it. Besides, Alex is making it… seems the job of school teacher encompasses all sorts of domestic things that me as a secretary does not possess."

"You and Alex are getting closer?" Olivia asked with a smile.

"Yeah," Casey nodded and helped Olivia with the "Happy Birthday" banner, "Does that bother you?"

"No. Not at all. I'm glad you guys have one another. I'm so out of the loop right now… school is torture, I hate to study and things are so hectic around here."

"How is he?"

"Stubborn," Olivia exhaled and shook her head, "I'm not enough for him, Casey. He won't admit it but I feel it, you know?"

"Yes, you are," Casey assured her. "Why do you think you're not?"

Olivia shook her head, "He wants me one second, and the next, he's so angry at me."

"He's not angry at you, specifically… he's angry at the situation. Believe me, Paul and I fought so much after I came home that he asked me why I suddenly hated him. It was never that I hated him, I just felt so much like a worthless piece of flesh… it's frustrating to be in a chair."

"It's frustrating to want to help and just be pushed away… then out of nowhere he's the same guy I married."

"That's because he is," she smiled.

"Casey?"

"Yeah?" she responded unloading a grocery bag full of hot dog buns.

"I suggested Viagra and I thought he was gonna come unhinged."

Casey nodded, "Still nothing?"

"No, and I don't get it… he makes all sorts of advances toward me, and sometimes he accepts mine, but… sometimes he gets angry."

"Olivia," Casey blushed, "Uh… I came on to Paul, all the time… just to see if I _could_ and to let him know that I did want him. Just because you can't… doesn't mean you don't want to."

"I know… I just… what can I do to make him feel more comfortable?"

Casey smiled softly, "When he pushes you away… let him know you'll keep coming back. That's the only thing that got me through it with Paul… just knowing that no matter how hard I pushed, he'd still be there."

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"Do you hear something Sam?"

"No," he said.

"Hmm, I do… come sit on my lap and listen, huh?" Elliot told him just as they passed the speed limit sign.

"Dad, my ears are much better than your's… I don't hear anything. We should go home, mom will be worried. We've been away too long."

"Na, Casey has probably already got there with massive amounts of chocolate and they're probably talking about all sorts of girly stuff… sure you want to go back to that?"

Sam raised his brows and walked around to crawl onto Elliot's lap. "I don't hear anything."

"Just wait… I swear I heard something," Elliot told him and after several seconds Sam sat up.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard that!"

"Hmm, wonder what it is."

"I don't know," Sam shook his head, "it sounds so close."

"Want to go investigate?" Elliot asked.

Sam thought about it, "Dad, I should take you back to mom now."

"No, we should investigate this disturbance… we're men. No time for girly stuff… let's go see?"

Sam smiled, "Yeah."

Elliot wheeled the chair as far as he could and stopped, "You'll have to investigate the rest, want me to call for back up?"

"No," Sam said and slid cautiously out of the safety of his father's lap and slowly navigated the unfamiliar path with Elliot's words as his guide.

"What is it Sam? Can you tell yet?"

"No," he said, but heard the sound as if it were within five or ten feet from him, definitely coming from the ground. A frantic, lost, sad sound. Scared. Sam kneeled on his hands and knees and Elliot watched him carefully from the distance as he felt around and suddenly stilled.

"What is it!" Elliot asked.

"It's a puppy, dad. It's gonna die," Sam told him.

"A puppy!" Elliot grinned, "Pick it up. Bring it here, let's take a look."

"I don't want to pick it up."

Elliot exhaled, "Oh… well, let's go home then. Hopefully someone else will find her and take care of her before she dies… how big is she?" Elliot asked trying to get Sam to touch the small Labrador he knew was just laying swaddled in a towel and placed safely there by his wife only minutes ago.

Irritated, Sam stuck out his hand and was surprised to feel such a tiny creature. Small and helpless in need of protection. "Very tiny!" he yelled back and gently scooped the creature up, "Someone wrapped him up."

"Huh, interesting… they wanted to take care of her it looks like."

Sam carefully made his way back to his father and presented the puppy. Elliot furrowed his brows, he'd asked for the youngest, most disgustingly looking creature they had. And boy did they get it. "Oh… she looks bad."

"Bad?"

"Yeah… eyes are sealed shut with some kind of gooey gunk."

Sam furrowed his brow, "It's very tiny."

"Yeah… can't be more than, gosh, I dunno, two weeks."

Sam exhaled, "You should take him to that place where we got Tripod."

_Can't. That's where I got him._

"Oh, I don't know," Elliot said sizing up the small dog, "we could try and save her."

"No." Sam responded, "Give him to someone else. I don't want him."

"Oh," Elliot nodded, "that's too bad… she looks like she really likes you."

"Where's its mom?"

_Guy said hit by a car, the rest of the litter was put down, got this one just in time._

"Don't know," Elliot shrugged, "but this little puppy looks like it's a Labrador… water dog. Loves to swim."

"Really?" Sam asked, "Uh… what color?"

"Black."

"Black?" he asked and giggled when the puppy tries to latch onto his pinky, "Dad he doesn't have teeth! How will he eat?"

"Well, I guess whoever decides to save her will have to feed her by hand."

"By hand?"

"Yeah, like with a bottle, like the babies."

Sam exhaled, "Oh… um, maybe… maybe um, we can-"

"What?" Elliot encouraged him.

Sam exhaled in frustration and plopped the dog into Elliot's lap, "Nothing. I want to go home and hear mom."

Elliot nodded and scooped up the small bundle. She really was at death door. Mange, nasty eyes, small weight. The runt of the litter. Perfect. "Let's roll, I got to get home and put in a call to the humane society and have them pick her up… it's sad really."

"What is?" Sam asked as he started to push his father back to the house.

"Well… the puppy is in such bad shape… they'll probably euthanize her."

"What's that mean?" he asked putting his weight into his effort.

"They'll kill her."

Sam stopped pushing and immediately retrieved the puppy, "You can't do that!"

"Hey, _I'm_ not doing anything," Elliot said in defense, "I'm just saying… that dog isn't gonna make it without someone loving it a whole lot."

"I can love him!" Sam said borderline angry.

"Yeah, I know," Elliot said and pulled him and the dog onto his lap as they headed home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What's that?" Alex asked placing the cake inside of the refrigerator.

"What?" Olivia said as she and Casey stopped and followed Alex's stare.

"Thought I heard someth- yeah there it is."

Olivia wiped her hands quickly, "That's Sam!" she said and bolted outside to the front porch to see comedy at it's best.

"Come on Sam!" Elliot laughed as the youngster tried to push him up the ramp, "put your back into it!"

"You're fat!" Sam groaned and turned around to push with his back as Elliot held the puppy in his lap and helped wheel himself up to the three women waiting with smiles. "Mom should put you on a diet!"

"I'm hurt, kid," Elliot said and gave himself one more push until they were on the level porch and Sam was out of breath.

"Dad, I think you eat too much."

Olivia laughed, "You're telling me… hey… Whatchya got there?"

"Oh," Elliot held up the dog, "Sam found this in the bushes just beyond the speed limit sign, about twenty feet off the path, but he says we should give it away."

"Oh," Olivia said sadly.

"Well," Sam licked his lips, "Uh… maybe, I changed my mind and we should help it until its better and then give it away."

Elliot and Olivia looked at one another, neither expecting that option. "You sure?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, dad says they'll kill it because it looks really bad."

"Oooh," Alex chimed in, "Yeah that's an awful looking puppy, looks like it hasn't eaten in awhile… I don't know."

Casey assessed the small animal, "Na, I think you should just take it down and have it put out of its misery."

Infuriated, Sam retrieved the puppy, "You can't kill it just because it doesn't look like the rest!"

Olivia kneeled, touched his face gently and responded to his anger in tenderness, "And you can't keep her for awhile and then give her away because she doesn't look like Tripod."

He let out a tear, "That's not fair, mom."

"You know what it's like to go from one home to another… don't you?"

Sam exhaled and wiped his tear with his shoulder as he held the dog who was crying frantically for food, "Yeah… it's very sad. And it breaks your heart into millions of little pieces."

"Would you want this little puppy to love you and then get sent away?"

"No."

Olivia took the small bundle from Sam, "You've got to choose, son. Either you'll love her as your friend forever or you give her up today, to someone who will."

Quickly, he brought the scared puppy back to him, "He'll be mine. I'll take care of him and love him."

Olivia grinned at Elliot who winked. Mission accomplished. Puppy acquired.

"Alright," Elliot exhaled, "but I think we need to clear something up."

"What?" Sam asked stroking the puppy softly.

"He is a she."

"How do you know?" Sam asked in suspicion.

Elliot's eyes widened. _Oops_. "'Cause I can tell, when you held it up the first time… hmm, better think of a girly name," Elliot teased.

Sam nodded, "She's maybe hungry?"

"I think she needs a bath," Olivia smiled, "But that will come later… let's see if we don't have an eye dropper or something we can feed her with huh?"

Sam smiled, "Yeah."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The crowd yelled as Sam grinned over his cake, oblivious to the fact that his parents had set him up with the puppy. Oblivious to the fact that his mother had been crying only moments before he and his father came home. Immune to financial struggles within the home as the friends of the Stabler's stepped up to make things normal. Smooth.

"I got a puppy!" Sam announced to the crowd, "God gave her to me today, when I was walking with my dad."

"Really?" Fin smacked his lips, "I asked for a corvette and came up empty handed."

Sam smiled "You got to pray Fin. You got to talk to Him."

Fin chuckled, "I'll take that into advisement… stuff your face with cake."

"Cake!" Isaac laughed and immediately reached up to the table on his tipped toes and grabbed a handful of icing shoving it into his smiling face, "Lookit me!"

"Oh, I see you," Olivia smiled and snapped a picture.

"Happy birthday," Alex whispered into his ear and gave Sam a small hug, "you're such a big boy."

Sam smiled, "I'm ten now, Alex."

"Ten!" Carp said excitedly, "What a spectacular age!"

Sam grinned, "We found Aimee."

"Sam!" Olivia's jaw went slack, "Baby, you weren't supposed to say that."

"How come?" he asked in innocence, "we had to go to all the toll bridges and ask all the people who Aimee was, and we finally found her a lot of days ago. Mom invited her."

Carp turned beat red, "Benson… please tell me, and I mean I'm begging you to tell me, that you did not do what this little boy is telling me."

Elliot smiled, "Oh, yeah… we're hooking you up, my friend."

Carp exhaled "Oh boy."

Chloe grinned as she fed Matthew a bite of ice cream, "They've got a pretty good knack for it, trust them."

Donovan smiled, "Yeah, they set Chloe and I up and we're good."

"Paul and I are back at it 'cause of them."

Carp groaned "Yeah… but this sounds so desperate."

Elliot slapped him playfully on his back, "You are desperate!"

Carp chuckled as the group laughed at him, laughed at his embarrassment, "Yeah, but I mean, come on… who would actually come to a stranger's house?"

"Your girlfriend apparently," Robert grinned.

"Apparently you go by her booth every day," Olivia smiled and kissed Sam on his cheek, "Which is funny considering that bridge is nowhere near the precinct or your house… you say hello to her," Olivia teased, "She knew exactly who I was talking about."

Carp stood, "I better go check on that puppy. Make sure it's breathing and stuff."

"She didn't get a bath. Don't get stinky," Sam warned, "Aimee will be here soon, that's what mom said."

Carp shook his head as Mac laughed uncontrollably at him, "You are such a sucker!"

Carp turned and pointed, "Keep it up and I'll go back to the hospital and tell that nurse you've got the hotts for her." Mac shut up immediately.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"WATER FIGHT!" Elliot laughed as he and Olivia sat on the deck the group doing exactly what they did for Sam's first birthday with them. A water fight that Sam had pleaded they be able to do again.

"Give me one," Elliot told Olivia who happily passed him a balloon. He took aim and popped Carp right in the side of the face, "That's for coming onto my wife!" he teased.

Carp smiled and aimed the squirt gun at Elliot and fried mercilessly until he was out of water and Elliot was laughing, soaking wet. Olivia pegged Carp again, "That's for getting me wet!" she grinned and winked. It was good to see Elliot causing chaos. Teasing others and forgetting that he was in the chair, even if it was just temporary.

"Go out there," Elliot encouraged Olivia.

"What? No."

"Come on… go show'em what you got. You know you're dying to pelt someone."

"Na, I'm good staying with you… want something to drink?" she asked and stood to her feet.

He quickly pulled her into his lap and maneuvered the chair so they rolled down the ramp, "ELLIOT!"

"NAIL'EM!" Cragen shouted and everyone took aim at the couple as Olivia hid her face in Elliot's neck and laughed, feeling the coolness of water soak through her clothing. Elliot's hand about her, holding her tight and she'd never felt more safe than she did in his embrace being pelted with water balloons and squirt guns.

"Wheel me to the water hose," She whispered.

He grinned and fulfilled the request, Olivia bent low and quickly took up her weapon, squeezing the handle and soaking her friends, "What's wrong guys?" she laughed as Elliot began to throw water balloons that Sam handed him through his giggles.

"Hey, Benson," Fin smiled and pointed to Carp who was nervously entertaining a new person on the deck.

"Well well, if it isn't Miss, Aimee," Olivia smiled and quickly pointed the hose upwards and soaking Carp as the tall brunette jumped back, "You looked a little flushed!" Olivia teased, "Just wanted to make sure you didn't overheat!"

Elliot laughed and pulled her tighter, "You're wicked."

"Alex and Casey are cheating," Olivia smiled, "Holding the babies so they won't get nailed. That's unacceptable."

"You can't wet them… they have our kids."

Olivia grinned, "Sam, honey, come here."

"Yeah?"

Olivia adjusted the nozzle to produce a gentle mist as she leaned into Sam's ear and gave him his mission which he gladly accepted. He followed the path his mother had told him and raised the hose chest high, "You guys are too dry," he smiled using the sentence his mother had given him.

"Sam!" Alex said with a grin, "Honey we've got your brother and sister."

"Mom says they won't melt."

Casey groaned and went to move.

"Now Sam!" Elliot laughed but Sam suddenly stilled and dropped the water hose.

"Baby?" Olivia called to him but when he simply turned and went to talk to Crystal she let it go.

"What was that?" Elliot asked.

"Got me."

Elliot and Olivia laughed with one another as their friends creamed one another until the balloons were depleted and stomachs were full of cake and hotdogs and ice cream. Mac and Fin were called away with Cragen following suit and for once, Olivia was glad it wasn't her being called back to the bullpen. Away from her babies. She wasn't a cop anymore and it was moments like these that reminded her that was okay.

"Look at those two," Elliot smiled and pointed up to the deck as Sam and Crystal played chess.

"She's gonna steal my baby from me," Olivia smiled and rested her head on Elliot's shoulder.

"Yeah, but not for at least five or ten more years."

"He asked me how to kiss a girl today."

"What?"

"Yeah," she exhaled "before you know it, El… you and me, we're gonna be watching him go to middle school. Isaac start school. Sam graduate… college… marriage… grandchildren."

Elliot groaned, "You're making me old."

She laughed and kissed him playfully on the lips surprised when he didn't return the kiss, "What?"

Elliot stared, "What exactly did you tell Sam?"

Olivia followed his stare and dropped her jaw as she watched their son tilt Crystal's chin toward him and kiss her cheek softly, "Uh oh."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, he really comes by everyday?" Olivia asked Aimee as Elliot finally was bold enough to wheel up to the group of guys and chat.

"Yeah," Aimee laughed, "He actually rear ended the guy in front of him one time. Nothing major but had me laughing for days."

Alex chuckled, "Sounds like a love sick puppy."

"He's funny… but, uh… is his name really Carp?"

"No," Casey laughed, "it's worse… Carpedium."

Aimee chuckled, "He's a really nice guy, brought me coffee all winter long… too bad I don't drink coffee."

"Go out with him," Olivia said, "He's a nice guy, and his name, well… when you hear the story behind it; it'll give you a whole new outlook on the guy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Have you asked her out yet?" Donovan asked Carp.

"Uh… no."

"No?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "what's the hold up? She's pretty, she sounds relatively smart… I don't understand what the problem is."

"Come on," Carp shrugged, "she's not gonna go out with me."

"Uh, how do you know, if you don't ask?"

"I know."

"Have you tried," Elliot inquired, "She wouldn't have come to stranger's house if she wasn't interested."

"Ask her," Sam smiled and crawled into Elliot's lap as Isaac grunted to make room as well.

"Yeah… or I will," Elliot warned.

"Am I supposed to believe that?" Carp asked.

Donovan raised his brow, 'Uh oh."

"Hey Aimee!" Elliot yelled up to the deck.

Aimee's eyes found the loud voice and she locked her gaze with the unfamiliar man, "Yes?"

"My friend Carpedium wants to go out with you but he's too much of a chicken to ask you. You want to date him or what?"

"I'll kill him," Olivia groaned.

Aimee laughed, her hazel eyes turning bright, "Tell him I don't date chickens… if he wants a date he's got to ask for it."

Carp grinned and suddenly found a little boldness, "Will you?" he asked softly.

Aimee laughed again, "What? I can't hear you!"

"Yeah," Casey chuckled, "Talk louder!"

Olivia exhaled and looked at Alex, "Poor guy."

"Will you go out with me?" Carp asked with a goofy grin.

Aimee smirked, "I think I can pencil you in somewhere."

Alex shifted Hannah in her lap and started to laugh, "I like her."

"Who is that man?" Aimee asked and motioned to Elliot who was currently torturing Carp as he held his boys.

Olivia bounced Solomon on her thigh and chuckled "That is my very nosey husband."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mom," Sam yawned, "how old to you think the puppy is?"

"Oh, maybe just a few weeks."

"That's what dad said," he exhaled, "how will we feed her? She fits in my hands she's so tiny. The eyedropper doesn't work so good."

"What did Alex get you for your birthday?"

"A puppy bottle."

"Then?"

"But _how did she know_ I needed a puppy bottle?" he asked in curiosity.

Olivia shrugged as Isaac walked to Sam and peered down, "I don't know… maybe God told her."

"Yeah," Sam nodded, "Maybe, that's what happened, because God is cool that way."

"What this, Sam Sam?" Isaac asked and pointed to the puppy.

"A puppy," Sam said with a smile as Elliot rolled his chair to sit with his family after having escorted the last guest from their home.

"Puppy!" Isaac grinned and crawled up to the couch, "I want to!"

"Okay," Sam said and put his arm around his little brother for the first time in too long. He placed his puppy in his brother's arms and helped him hold her as Olivia gently took hold of Sam's hand and placed a small bottle in his hand.

"Just like Hannah," Olivia instructed and Sam slowly found the puppy's mouth and let her take hold of the nipple as Isaac giggled uncontrollably.

"Zooos! Come!" Isaac said and all watched as Zeus cautiously made his way to the tiny puppy and whimpered, sitting in front of the two boys.

"No, no," Elliot warned, "the puppy needs medicine right now, so we need to keep them apart, but it looks like Zeus isn't gonna have a problem with her. That's good."

"No munchies," Isaac told Zeus and shook his finger at him, "Puppy, no munchies."

Olivia chuckled and kissed Elliot softly as she sat on the sofa, as close to him as possible. Isaac ordered Zeus to his bed and snuggled closer to his brother, "Love you Sam Sam."

Sam smiled, "Love you too. You like the puppy?"

"Puppy," Isaac giggled.

"That's nice to see," Olivia whispered to Elliot, "I haven't seen those two together without them trying to kill each other for a long time."

Elliot exhaled, "You have no idea how nice it is to see this… no idea."

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"Tired?"

"Understatement," Elliot exhaled as she held him up and he pulled his boxers over himself.

"You had a long day today, a lot of exercise," she said and gently lowered him to the bed, feeling the ache in her back.

"Yeah," he exhaled and groaned, "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did this happen?" he asked in a voice so broken and foreign to her it made her sit next to him.

"I don't know," she whispered, "I wish it hadn't… I really do."

He swallowed hard, "Me too."

She stretched along side of him and rubbed his chest softly, "I love you."

"Do you?"

"You know I do."

He exhaled and looked away. "Usually… when you sit on my lap… it turns me on."

She smiled, "I sat on your lap a lot today… anything happen?"

"No."

She nodded finally understanding that while the day was good, the night was gonna be a fight, "We've got a lot of days t-"

"I don't care about a lot of days!" he hissed and sat up, "I care about today! Right now!"

"I'm not gonna fight with you," she said and left the bed.

"That's great! That's fantastic!" he growled, "I'm so proud of you Olivia.. You're an absolute saint!"

She narrowed her eyes at him, felt the anger of so many things reach her boiling point before she quickly pushed them away and went back to him and straddled his body. She pulled her shirt over her head and unclasped her bra, "Is this what you want?" she asked half angry, half frustrated.

He swallowed hard and looked away.

She nodded softly, "Right, that's exactly what I thought, Elliot… it's not me that you want. It's the orgasm, it's feeling like a man because you can make me come, and you know what? I can't do this. I can't keep being strong for you if you insist on breaking me."

He watched her leave his body, watched her leave their bed and make her way to the restroom.

He didn't remember her coming back out that night.

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She's never craved a drink. Never. She just wasn't wired that way, or so she thought. She has never mentally mapped out in her mind the route to the nearest liquor store, her choice of booze and what it would feel like to forget that in the two weeks since Elliot has been home, he has yelled at her more than he has in the nearly ten years they've known each other. He has accused her of flirting with the man that came to fix their broken sprinklers and he has repeatedly pushed her away so that she stands alone. Sinking.

But he's never blamed her… until tonight.

"I can't believe you just said that," Olivia whispered hoarsely. He knocked the wind out of her.

Elliot grabbed the paper rings from the night stand and launched them across the room, "It's the truth!"

She swallowed hard, tried to remember Casey's encouragement to stay even when he pushed, "Elliot… I didn't beat you, that night."

"You're the reason he came!" he growled, "and look at me! Richard White was your problem, Olivia! Yours! And yours alone!"

Her tears spilled out, "Why are you so angry tonight? We had a good day, the park was nice-"

"They stared at us like we were a damn freak show!" he yelled, "The little blind boy and the man in his chair! With his beautiful wife… I wonder what she sees in him to make her stay!" he snapped.

"Keep your voice down, you want Sam to hear?" she admonished.

He raised his brows, "Keep my voice down? My voice? Why in the hell did you let him stay quiet so long!" He yelled at her, "Why didn't you force him to say _something_! To seem me! I'm his father!"

She took in a sharp breath, "Elliot-"

"You let him just sit there and think I was dead!"

"What?" she shook her head, "He saw you in the hospital, and he knew you were alive"

He moved his chair closer to her and continued his verbal assault, "He thought we were dead! He thinks your dying! You won't even tell me why you got arrested! What the hell is your problem?" He barked, "You could have gotten locked up-"

"But I didn't!" she finally yelled back, "I'm right here!"

"I know that!" he yelled in frustration, "You're here and you're standing and you're walking and you get to play with my kids! White was your problem! He took me from my kids! He was YOUR PROBLEM OLIVIA!"

Somewhere, her spirit lay shattered and her heart followed closely, "You blame me?"

He narrowed his eyes, his voice cold, "I can't even screw you anymore, what really is there left to do?"

She swallowed and nodded, "Five months, thirty-eight appointments that Mags came to see Sam… he wouldn't talk to her. I talked to him every night," she whispered and wiped at her tears, "and he ignored me every single night, like I was some sort annoyance. I took him everywhere with me. Encouraged him to do everything and he still wouldn't talk, and as far as Richard White is concerned, yeah, Elliot… he was my problem, and mine alone. I'm sorry this happened to you," she said softly and pulled her keys off of the dresser, "I'm sorry, I let you down."

He exhaled and shook his head, remorse filling him to over flowing. He quickly wheeled himself to go after her, "Olivia, no… I didn't mean to say those things. I'm so angry right now. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

She opened the front door in tears, "I think you did. And that's okay," she whispered. "I get that you're frustrated with the paper rings, I do. It's been a long time and nothings happening. I understand that."

"Please don't go," he whispered, "I'm sorry."

She smiled sadly, "For what? You tell me that Richard White is my fault, you tell me that you being in that chair is my fault… like I don't already know it."

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"What in the hell is with you and Elliot tracking each other down with ON Star?" Casey asked pulling the shot of tequila out of Olivia's hand, "and since when do you drink?"

Olivia grinned stupidly, that classic drunk grin that every sloppy drunk manages, "Since reality caught up with me," she smiled and simply threw back the bottle of tequila until Casey pulled it away.

"You're a sloppy drunk," Casey sighed.

Olivia pointed her finger at Casey and tried to bring her into focus, "Stop moving, I'm trying to talk to you."

Casey shook her head, "How much have you had?"

Olivia closed one eye and tried to count on her fingers, "One… three, no… one," she growled, "I can still remember that my husband blames me, so apparently," she snatched the bottle back and started to suck on it again, "Not enough"

"Oh," Casey nodded, "So… you're just gonna sit here and drink it all away?"

Another gulp, "That's the plan… pull up a glass."

"I don't drink," Casey snapped, "Remember? As I recall you bit my head off for it."

Olivia waved her hand, "Ah, who cares… loosen up Casey, you've always got to be so serious all the time."

"Beats being plastered."

"I really rather enjoy it… I've been missing out," Olivia smiled and pushed a bowl of peanuts across the table to her, "I think I get booze and peanuts now… tastes good."

"You're an ass."

Olivia raised the bottle, "I'm glad you and Elliot finally agree on things."

Casey snatched the bottle again, reached for the shot glass and called a waitress to confiscate them, "You're a hypocrite, an ass, a sloppy drunk, and a mother who has five very worried people at home right now."

Olivia laughed, "I'm on probation… uh oh… do you think the cat pee man is going to come for me?" Casey shook her head, she'd never seen Olivia consume alcohol and she was thankful for that because Olivia did not make a good drunk. "You should have pulled me off of that damn bridge with you Casey."

Casey nodded softly, "Then I wouldn't be able to tell you thank you for saving my relationship with Addison."

"Hey," Olivia tried to toss a peanut in her mouth only to have it fall into her shirt. She pulled out her shirt, buried her head in the neck line, "where the hell did that little thing go?" she mumbled and leaned so far over she promptly fell onto the length of the bench and quickly sat up, "Whoa… the room does crazzzzy crap when you do that."

"I could beat the hell out of you right now."

Olivia smiled, "You could, but you never would, because everyone looks at me like I'm their damn pitty project. Everyone wants to save Olivia, be her friend. Help the rape victim, help the woman," her voice began to break, "who's… loosing her husband."

"Olivia-"

"I hurt Sam," she sobbed and shook her head, "I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't but he was begging me not to leave and I grabbed him and tried to pull him away and he fell," she sobbed harder into her hands before threading them through her hair, "Elliot was so angry at me."

"For Sam?"

Olivia shook her head, "For everything. He blames me… he said that."

"I told Paul that once," Casey said softly, "I told him he was a worthless husband because he didn't bother to protect me or Isaac… why do you think he had such a hard time getting reacquainted to the little guy?"

Olivia wiped her nose with the back of her hand, "He's never, said anything harsh about our sex life and today it was like… like I was just a whore to him. Something that wasn't satisfying to him and that's why he's having trouble. Like he wanted to discard me. He wants me gone."

"It's the situation," Casey said softly, "It's not you, and you've got to believe me."

Olivia shook her head, "No. I don't."

"Oli-"

"I'm so sick and tired of all of this blind faith bull crap!" she snapped and licked her lips, "My son didn't talk to me for months and Elliot looks at me like I did nothing to help him!"

"O-"

"Shut up!" Olivia growled, "I whish everyone would just shut the hell up!"

"Alright," Casey stood, "I've had enough of you, let's go, get up."

"Kiss my a-"

Harshly, and with as much strength as she could she yanked Olivia out of the seat and pulled her close, "I said move!"

Undaunted, Olivia slapped her. "I said. You can kiss. My. A-" she stopped, stunned and stared at Casey, "I can't believe you just slapped me."

"Turn about is fair play, Olivia," Casey told her sternly and dug out money, "how much was that bottle of stupid?"

Boldly, Olivia slapped her back for the second time and Casey automatically fed her her own palm that was still stinging from the first slap, "I swear, you slap me one more time and we're gonna have some serious problems," Casey warned and pulled back when Olivia swung again.

Casey pushed her, sending a drunken Olivia crashing to the floor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Casey opened the car door and poured the cup of cold water into Olivia's face sending her jolting upright in a split second, "Get out,"

"Case?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "What the hell is your-"

"Get out!" Casey growled and drug Olivia from her car pulling her up the steps to her home, "You puked three times in my car, you passed out after that."

Olivia groaned, "Where are we."

"At your house," she said tersely, "where you belong."

Olivia held her head, "I'm gonna be sick."

"You should be you dumb ass."

"My face hurts."

"Should, you deserve it," Casey said and finally found the key on her ring and opened the door to see Elliot waiting impatiently as ever in the living room.

"She okay," he asked.

"Drunk," Casey said as Olivia darted to the bathroom and vomited.

"Drunk?" Elliot whispered, "Are you sure?"

"Want to see the stains in my car? Turn on all the lights I'll show you my face. She's got a hell of a slap."

She saw Elliot wince, "She hit you?"

"Yep, and I nailed her right back. Don't worry, me and her will have a go when she's sober. How's Sam… she told me."

"He's… confused. Shaken up, but I managed to get him to sleep. He wet our bed so… I set up the couch for Liv." He said softly and Casey could have sworn he was already crying.

"She'll be okay," Casey assured him, "Everyone gets plastered once in awhile."

"Not Liv," he whispered, "I pushed her so hard… I was so cold-"

"She'll bounce back," Casey assured him, "just… love on her. Don't you two understand that? That's the only way you two are gonna beat this chair, it's the only way you two are ever gonna make love again… it's all about loving each other through this."

Elliot exhaled, "I don't know if I can make this right," he whispered, "I don't know what to do anymore."

Casey smiled softly, "I just told you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot wheeled himself to the door of the boys' restroom, "Olivia?"

"Uggh," she shook her head, "leave me alone."

He exhaled, knew full well he wasn't welcomed there and pushed himself into the restroom anyway. He reached up and pulled a towel off the rack, "Here-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she yelled in pure anger and he knew he saw fear. Shame.

He wheeled closer to her, picked her hand up and forced the towel into it, "Here," he said softly and when she wouldn't do anything with it. He took it back, wet it and slowly started to clean her face, her hands and neck line, surprised that she was actually letting him. He tilted her face up, saw the hand prints on the side and smirked, "Never figured you for a bar brawl."

She sobbed and buried her face into his lap, felt his hands caress her back as she held tightly to him, "I'm so sorry," she sobbed, "I know it's my fault. I know that, but please Elliot, I'm begging you… I'm begging you with everything I have to love me in spite of it."

He bent low, kissed her head and cried over her, "You've nothing to be sorry for, I was the one that started that fight and I wasn't playing fair, I'm so sorry baby."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I need to go talk to Sam."

"You're still buzzed, leave him alone," Elliot said and handed her pajamas that he'd put out for her, "He wet our bed… I unfolded the bed for you…. Get some rest." He said softly.

She stared at the bed, "You did this by yourself?"

"Yeah… get in, get warm."

"I'll help you in," she said and moved to help him out of his chair when he stopped her.

"No," he said gently, "Crawl in, I told Sam I'd feed the puppy… I don't now when he's ever gonna name it."

She exhaled, "You're disappointed in me?"

"I am. But I'm equally disappointed in myself. Get some rest, tomorrow is gonna be long."

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"Wake up," Elliot smiled down at Olivia, "It's time to enjoy that hangover."

She winced and immediately held her head, "Oh my goodness. My head. Is pounding,"

"Yep, serves you right too. Get up."

"El-"

"Get. Up. I'm not playing with you. Get out of bed."

She slowly sat up, surprised when he pulled her up and into his lap, "Elliot?" she groaned and looked down at him, squinting her eyes, "You been in that chair all night?"

"Yeah," he exhaled, "I need some help going to the restroom, and my nurse isn't here."

"Nurse?" she asked, so utterly confused by the pounding in her head that she wanted to crawl back in bed and sleep the day away.

"I called last night and asked for a replacement. I'm taking a toll on you," he said and wheeled them down the hall, "You need to take a shower, you smell like puke."

She groaned, "Going too fast."

He popped a wheelie, "That should do something for your guts."

"Jerk."

He let the chair slam back down, "No, you know what a jerk is? You."

"I know," she whispered and stood shakily when they finally got the restroom. "Up, let's go," she said and braced him, surprised when he virtually stood without any muscle work from her at all. She looked up at him, "Where've you been hiding that?"

"Time to get better," he exhaled and took a small step his body shaking before he reached out and held her tightly, "I can only get one step… before my legs wont work."

She wrapped her arms around him. Confusion running rampant at what was happening "Don't get better and leave me," she whispered and cried.

He chuckled softly, "I'm not leaving you… but I am gonna pee on you if I don't get to go."

She sniffled, held him tighter, "Don't leave me."

His body was shaking and his hands were digging into her, "I'm not leaving. You got drunk once, in what… you're fifty right-" She pulled her head back and raised a brow. "Joking," he smirked, "you got drunk. You're not a drunk. Just promise me your not gonna become what I was… don't do that to us."

She nodded and sobbed before burring her face into him again.

"Liv… I'm gonna fall."

She pulled back, "Oh… turn!" she said quickly and helped him lower himself to the toilet. He exhaled.

"I'm sorry," Olivia whispered, "I really am."

"You need to take some Excedrin or you'll have a miserable day."

She wiped at her cheeks and obeyed taking the medicine as he relieved himself.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?" she whispered and rinsed her cup.

"I want you to help me into the shower and then I want… you to get in with me-"

"Elliot-"

"No butts no nothings… I just want you in the shower with me like we used to do."

She nodded and ran the water the confusion still holding her. He should be angry; he should be yelling at her, he should be doing anything except wanting to be in the same shower with her. "Elliot-"

"Brush your teeth," he said, "we don't have a lot of time before Sam wakes up, and you've got a lot of talking to do."

She exhaled, brushed her teeth as Elliot pulled his shirt off and waited patiently for Olivia to finish. She did and carefully helped him onto the shower chair, "Get naked and get in," he said and bent forward to wet his hair and beard. She exhaled, slipped out of her pajamas and stepped into the shower closing the door. "Hi," he smiled up at her.

"Elliot," she shook her head, "What's going on?" she asked as the water drummed into her spine releasing tension and frustration. "Why aren't you yelling?"

He took her hand in his and pulled her closer to him, "How's the yelling working for us?"

She exhaled, "Not too well, Vivian would squirt us in the face."

"Exactly," he said and pulled her closer. She stayed where she was. "Liv… I want you to sit on my lap and talk to me."

She furrowed her brows, "Elliot, I don't want to fight."

"I want to be close to you. I want to feel you… sit," he said and pulled her close, smiled as she straddled his slick body, her feet locking on the back legs of the shower chair for support.

"I don't understand why you want this…. We just end up in a fight."

He cupped her face, ran his thumb over her lips, "I'm sorry, I said those things to you."

She swallowed, "Its okay."

"No, it's not," he whispered and kissed her lips, "I was angry, yes… but I didn't mean what I said about the sex." She sniffled and looked away, he pulled her back to look at him, "Please forgive me."

She exhaled, "It stung… a lot."

"I know… I'm sorry." He shook his head and framed her face, "You have no idea how badly I feel right now."

"Yes I do," she whispered and ran her hand over his beard, "I do, because I feel just as bad if not worse… but feeling bad doesn't take my pain away."

"I'm frustrated, with not being able to make love to you, but I didn't mean to make it sound like that was all I cared about. Sex isn't everything to me. I know it seems like it is, and I'll be honest, I love sex, I love making love to you, but… it's not everything. I'll try what ever you want. Viagra, inflation, implant, whatever."

She shook her head softly, "I just want you to be happy… that's all I've ever wanted. That's all I've never been able to give you."

He furrowed his brows and stared up at her, her soul broken in her eyes, "That's not true."

"It is," she whispered, "I'm the reason you're sitting in a shower chair. The reason you can only take one step. The reason our son will probably never trust me again."

"Shh-" he whispered and pulled her face down to kiss him, surprised when she turned so her cheek met his lips. He simply tilted her face to meet his lips. He kissed her tenderly, even as her lips quivered against his and he ran his hand up her slick back, "I love you," he whispered and pulled his mouth away, "I love you and I'm begging you to forgive me."

She traced his bottom lip with her finger, kissed the corner of his mouth, "I can't forgive you for speaking the truth."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia took a deep breath, balanced the puppy and the small bottle in her hand and walked into Sam's room. Surprised to see him sitting at the foot of his bed, smoothening out his tie.

"Sam?"

He stopped his motions and tensed immediately.

"Um," she took a few steps closer and Sam backed up on his bed, frantic to get away from her. "Okay," she whispered and sat on Isaac's bed, "Uh… I understand why you don't want to be close to me, right now. I uh… I have your puppy. She's very hungry this morning. I took her outside to go to the restroom and Zeus played with her a bit. I think they're gonna be good pals."

Sam blinked, his nostrils flared, "You hurt me."

She sobbed and nodded, "I know I did. I didn't mean to. I swear Sam," she said and kneeled at his bed side, "I swear son, I didn't mean to make you fall like that."

"Why didn't you want to stay?" he asked as his tears fell, "I was so scared that you wouldn't come back to me. That maybe God was wrong, that we wouldn't always have each other."

"I wasn't trying to spank you, Sam. You've got to believe me."

He smiled softly and it threw her off kilter, "That wasn't a spanking mom," he said and rested his hand on her shoulder, "I fell."

"Because I was rough with you," she sobbed, "I'm sorry; I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

He exhaled, "Why did you want to leave? Why wouldn't you stay with me? I love you, I love you so much and you wanted to leave me alone, again."

"No," she whispered and cupped his face, "no. Baby, I wasn't trying to leave you. I… I needed to get out of the house before I said things that would hurt your dad."

Sam shook his head, "Words have power mom. That's what you tell me. But I wanted you to stay… I had a bad dread and that's why I woke up and I wanted you. I needed you and you didn't' want me. And you were both yelling so loud and you didn't want me. You didn't."

She licked her lips and shook her head frantically, placing the puppy on the bed, "No. No. No. No." she whispered, "No, I didn't know. I'm sorry, son."

He furrowed his brow, "I'm still your son?"

"Yes."

"You hurt me."

She sobbed and lowered her face to his legs, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you Samuel. Please forgive me. Please let me make it up to you."

She felt his hands on her cheeks and was surprised to look up at a softly smiling face, "You don't have to bow your head to me, Mom. I'm your son and I love you," he whispered and wrapped his arms around her neck, "I forgive you mom," he whispered.

She pulled him off of the bed, leaned back on the bed behind her and held him tight, crying into his small body, "I'm so sorry baby."

"It's okay," he assured her and hugged her tightly, "its okay, 'cause God is listening now and we're all gonna be okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot furrowed his brow as Olivia walked inside the house, childless, "Olivia?"

"Hey," she smiled nervously and bit her lip as the male nurse nodded to her, "Um… I'm sorry to do this to you, but… I'm gonna be taking care of him-"

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "No, no. Liv… why aren't you in school? Where are the kids?"

Olivia reached into her pocket gave her cash to the nurse, "I'm sorry, I'm gonna take care of him."

"We were just gonna start his exercises… you know them?"

She smiled sadly, "I do… I'll do it, thank you. I'm sorry."

"No problem," he smiled, "I get paid anyway you look at it," he said and gathered his things, "Very nice to meet you Mr. Stabler.

"You too, Jim," Elliot said in confusion and watched the nurse leave, "Liv?"

"I was sitting in the middle of this pop quiz and I realized I haven't even told you what I was studying."

He ran his hand along his beard and motioned for her to sit down, "What's going on?"

"I," she exhaled and shook her head as she sat, "Sam named the puppy," she whispered.

Elliot grinned, "Really?"

She nodded, "Yeah," she said softly, "He's talking to me like nothing happened."

"You didn't hit him. "

"I pushed him I made him fall."

"No you didn't." Elliot whispered, "You didn't. I was there. I saw it, you pulled him off of you and he tripped."

She swallowed and reached into her bag, "I don't know why I didn't tell you exactly what my charges were," she said and retrieved her court file, "I got beat up in jail… pretty good actually."

He furrowed his brow and took the file opening it to see her bruised face and quickly closed it, "Liv… I don't understand what's going on? Why are you home? You've just told me three things but haven't finished any of them… talk to me. Where are the kids?"

"Paul," she exhaled "I can't bear to look at Casey."

Elliot chuckled, "I think she's gonna slap you again the next time she sees you."

"I'll deserve it… I'm sorry Elliot."

He exhaled, "We talked about this last night… What did Sam name his puppy?"

"Moses."

"Moses? He can't name a girl dog Moses."

She chuckled and wiped at her eyes, "I told him that. He said he didn't care, that he found her wrapped up and protected just like Moses was found… try to argue with that."

He smiled, "Moses and Zeus… interesting."

"Business management," she whispered, "it's kicking my butt. I'm good with money but all the text books and stuff… it's difficult and I'm not doing well."

"I can help you study," he said softly, "You help me walk… I help you study."

"Is it that easy?"

"We've tried everything else."

She looked at him and cried, "El… I need to know… I need to know, if you_ really_ forgive me. I couldn't take it if you said those things to me again."

"I do," he whispered, "but you can't forgive yourself." She kneeled in front of Elliot and he sobbed instantly when he noticed her wedding ring was off, "Are you leaving me?"

"I don't want to."

"Then don't," he said as his tears fell, "don't."

"I don't think you'll get better with me here. I'm not enough to pull you through this. I'm not enough to love all of you the way you should be loved and if it's the only way you'll get better, if it's the only way our babies will feel safe, if me leaving is the only way to do that for you guys. I'll leave and I won't look back. I don't want to leave. I don't. But… if it's the only way to make you better, I will. Just say you want me gone and I'll leave right now."

"Where's the ring?" he asked and she slowly opened her hand and revealed a ring set that had never been removed form her hand since the night in the restaurant when he took it from her right hand and placed it there. He took it with trembling hands and quickly put it back on her finger. " I don't ever want to see this ring off of you again," he sniffled, "You're my wife and the only way I'm getting through this, the only way we're all getting through this is with you by my side."

She shook her head, crying, "I can't look at you and know that you think I'm the reason your in the chair. I can't bare to know that I did that. It's too much."

"No," he whispered and framed her face kissing her and offering her no room for freedom as he instantly slid his tongue into her quivering mouth and pulled her up so she kneeled. He felt the tears from his own face gather on his beard and he stroked her tongue softly, relieved when her hands caressed his face and returned the kiss. "I love you," he whispered and kissed the corner of her mouth, "I love you; you're beautiful, I adore you… I forgive you. I do. Absolutely, but there is still nothing to forgive. I said things that weren't true." He whispered as she cried into his chest, "I did, I said things that were cruel. I should be asking you to forgive me. I should be asking you to still love me."

She pulled back, "I could never stop loving you. Even… even if you would have asked for me to leave, I would have spent my entire life missing you."

He smiled softly, "I called Vivian this morning… she's on vacation. It's just me and you to get through this one. Let's talk huh? The good and the bad… we haven't been communicating. I've been biting your head off. Liv, I'm the reason I'm in this chair."

"What?" she shook her head, "No, no that's not true, he attacked you."

"No," he cupped her face, "I know that. But I'm the reason I'm _still_ in this chair. I could be trying harder rather than running you ragged. I'm sorry… but I'm a selfish man. I need you."

She smiled sadly and kissed his hand, "I wish that day never happened… I wish it never existed."

"So do I. But it did, so now we've got to create our own days, to make up for it. I'm throwing in the towel," he said softly, "I'm not picking fights with you anymore. I'll focus on getting better, and one day… I'm gonna make fiercely tender love to you, like we always have."

"I love you," she whispered, "I don't understand why we're on this roller coaster, but I want off. I just want to be with you."

He pulled her into his lap, "Then come and be with me."

She furrowed her brow, "I'm right here."

"No," he smiled softly and wheeled them to their bedroom. "We haven't laid next to each other naked and just touched each other in a long time."

"Ell-"

"It's one of Vivian's assignments, remember?" he smiled, "No intimate touching, I just want to feel you next to me."

She sniffled rested her temple against his forehead, "I'm so tired of hurting. I want it to be like it was before this whole nightmare started. Before we lost Isaac, before we knew about Oliver and Victor. Just… before."

He smiled softly and pushed her to sit up, taking her shirt off and kissing the line of her neck, "I want it to be like that again too. I don't ever want you to think I'd be better off without you."

"I need you next to me to breathe," she confessed, "I have to have you next to me. They boys need you. They were so miserable without you. I need you next to me everyday, Elliot."

He kissed her mouth softly, "I'm never leaving you. You're never leaving me. I won't let you."

She stood and moved to help him up, he took a step to her and kissed her mouth softly, and she took a small step back and looked at him, told him with her eyes to walk to her. Slowly, he took a shaky step forward and balanced himself. She kissed him again, more passionately as she pulled his shirt up and separated to take another small step back.

"You're gonna make me work for my kiss?"

"I need to know that you really want me," she whispered.

Painfully, he took one smaller step, his legs shaking as she unclasped her bra and let the garment fall. He smiled, kissed her again and palmed her breast. She felt him shaking more than he ever had before and took one more step back until her knees hit the bed. "One more," she whispered. He looked down at his feet, willed them to move to her but had no luck. She took his hand, "Come here," she whispered and pulled him softly, his leg finally unlocking and taking his last step before he fell into her and she simply let their weight fall onto the bed. "You cheated," she whispered.

"Yeah? How's that?"

She smiled softly, locked her eyes with his and replaced the warmth of his hand to her breast, "No intimate touching."

He grinned, "We're not supposed to be kissing on the mouth… you scared of a little touching?"

She cupped his face and searched his eyes, "I'm scared, that one day… you'll wake up and you'll know you settled for me. That you'll hate me."

He furrowed his brow, kissed her lips and ran his thumb over her nipple, her body shuddered under him and he smiled, "I could never hate you. I see you and I know I can keep going. That you'll keep coming back… but don't ever think I want you gone… I won't make it without you, Olivia."

She kissed his mouth softly, "I can't exist without you."

He kissed her again, ran his hand over her bottom and pulled her close, "Let me make you come."

"No," she whispered. "I just want to be next to you. No pressure. Just me and you. Next to one another."

"Naked?"

She smiled softly, "Yeah, naked."

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"Elliot?"

He pulled her tight against him, her naked back against his bare chest, "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I was a hypocrite… about the booze."

He pulled her hair back, kissed her cheek, "Your hair is so long," he whispered and traced it past her shoulder blades, "I've never seen it this long."

"I haven't had time to really… take care of that stuff… I'm sorry about getting drunk. It was stupid."

"Promise me it wont' happen again."

"I promise. You have my word," she whispered as the afternoon light filtered into their room warming their naked bodies as they lay on top of covers.

He stroked her hips softly with his fingertips, "You've got to forgive yourself Olivia… we'll get through this, but you've got to forgive yourself before we can."

"I'm scared I'll hurt the kids now… I'm capable of it, we've seen that."

"No," he said softly and kissed her cheek, "No, I already told you what I saw and what Sam told you… you pulled him away and he tripped… you didn't push him. You didn't hit him… it was an accident. There was frustration involved, yes, but you didn't hurt him. You aren't Serena."

She cried softly and reached behind her to touch his body, "Does it hurt you to be on your side like this?"

"No," he assured her, "It's the first time, and it feels very nice to hold you this way. Just to hold you."

She turned in his embrace, her tears falling faster than his thumb could wipe, "I'm sorry."

He pulled her tight against him, laboriously raised his leg to drape it over hers. She sobbed into his body, kissed his chest and neck frantically until he cupped her head and let her simply rest, "Cry. I'm going to hold you. I'm going to love you and you'll have no choice but to know that I forgive you even though you don't need to be forgiven. You'll know that I never want you away from me. Cry and you'll know that I love you. That I want you."


	51. Chapter 51 Rebuilding

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 50: Rebuilding

A/N: R chapter. One more after this and an epilogue. Then I'll go have my carpel tunnel surgery. Lol.

"One more," Olivia told him as she held his foot at her chest and encouraged him to push, "come on, push!" she grinned at him.

He panted and smiled, "I keep saying, this would be so much more interesting if you were naked."

She laughed and kissed the top of his foot, "And I keep telling you that if you get me naked, I may have no choice but to take advantage of you."

"Maybe that's what I need for this old body to get back into the swing of things," he said with waggled brows.

Thirty days had come and gone and to Elliot's obvious frustration and Olivia's well masked disappointment, no paper rings were broken. However, something spectacular did happen, something Olivia wasn't expecting. She was probably more nervous than he was when he asked her too look. She'd warmed her hand, pulled the sheet back and gently reached into the slit of his boxers only to feel that the ring was still very much intact. She didn't need to say anything, he read her eyes and knew before her hand ever left him.

"Looks like we better get to the doctor," he had said with tears in his eyes.

She'd nodded softly and pulled the sheet back over his body to stave off the cool morning caress. She'd kissed his mouth tenderly but, was taken back when he pulled her next to his body, "The doctor said it could take longer," he'd whispered and she couldn't be more thankful that he was talking to her instead of pushing her away, than she was at that moment.

"I know," she had assured him and kissed his lips gently, "I'm sorry, Elliot."

He sniffled, held her hips and exhaled, "I have dreams about you… all night, long," he had confessed to her, "I hear you moan and I know it's because of me."

She had given him a shy smile and kissed him again. The morning of the thirtieth day home had been cruel to him, but he kept his promise. He didn't fight her and she knew, in that second, as his lips grazed hers and they talked with one another until the morning sun chased them from the bed, that they had reached a turning point, where he willingly took her hand and let her lead him.

Which brought them to tonight, in their bedroom doing his exercises, "I want the kids tomorrow, Olivia," he said nearly ten days after that harsh but sweet morning.

She furrowed her brows and exhaled "Elliot… you almost burned the kitchen down-"

"That was an accident."

"You forgot to turn the stove off, honey," she said softly, "Your memory is still a little off."

He exhaled, "You have post-it notes everywhere for me, and I have the binder on the back of my chair with all the instructions you wrote. I can do it. I want them home with me."

"Elliot-"

He took her hand and looked up at her from the bed, "Liv… please? I'm their father and… I want them. I want my baby girl and I want my boys."

"Will you let me think about it?"

He swallowed hard and nodded, "Yeah… but, I've been home for six weeks now. I can get in my chair on my own and I can go to the restroom on my own… I can hold the babies and feed them."

"I know you can," she whispered and kneeled in front of him, "But… you can't remember how make their bottles or to turn the coffee pot off or to set the alarm… what if Isaac got out of the house?"

"I'm their dad."

She stroked her finger along his beard, "And you're a great dad."

"I want them Liv… please let me have them home with me? I'll call you every hour, and we can put signs everywhere and we'll add the instructions for their bottles in my binder, and if I'm really stuck, the list of phone numbers is on the refrigerator and Jim comes and goes… I still don't like having a nurse but,… I'll take one if it means the kids are home with me."

She exhaled, kissed his mouth, "Give me your binder?"

He grinned, "Really?" he said and quickly reached to his chair and pulled it out of the small back pack she'd kept on the back of it. It had taken her a week to get him to remember that he had a bag behind him that would help him through most things. A small blanket for his legs that seemed to get cold no matter what, a bottle of water if he was too tired to get to the kitchen, a muscle magazine to get him thinking about his physique again and a list of exercises he could do on his own for his hand. A picture of her, naked, just in case he should think of something else to work on.

She placed the binder on her side of the bed, "We'll see," she nodded, "what do you want to sleep in?"

"Nothing."

She smiled, "Come on, Elliot."

"You come on," he grinned, "the doctor said you and I should try to fool around."

"He also said to read erotica and look at porn," she exhaled. Neither one of them was going for that option.

"No," he shook his head adamantly, "that's disgusting. I don't care about that stuff. That's not gonna do it for me, I want to fool around with _you,"_

She smiled and kneeled on the bed, "You want to fool around with _me_?"

He grinned and chuckled, "Yup."

"And what _exactly_ would you have me do?" she whispered and kneeled between his legs, pushing him softly to the mattress. His boyish smile was sexy and it had her hot in record time. She could never explain to him how torturous it was for him to touch her, to toy with her and be unable to do more. Although, that wasn't always the case, he'd made her come while she was driving him to see Roger last week. He'd made her come as he sucked and tongued her breast as she slept next to him, exhausted after a summer session mid-term.

He satisfied her, there was no question, but there was nothing compared to having him inside of her. It still wasn't about the intercourse or the orgasm. They've become closer, sharing secrets as they held each other at night. In some ways, she sees what making love has overshadowed, but in other ways, she knows that there is no one on the face of the earth that can do the things to her body that he can do. No one.

He smiled, "I would definitely have you take your shirt off."

"What if I told you, 'no'?"

"Then _I'd_ take it off."

"You sure you got that kind of range of motion?" she challenged and leaned a little closer to him.

He grinned, "Oh, I got it," he told her and gently pulled her shirt up and over her body, slowly bringing his arms down, "see there? Greek god, syndrome."

She laughed and bit her bottom lip, "Um… think you've got the finite movements to get this bra off of me tonight?"

Cockily, he stared at her and unhooked the bra in ease, slowly bringing the straps down and casting it away, "Any other challenge you'd like to present?"

Her face turned slightly serious and she asked him something he's denied her every time, "Let me touch you," she whispered and lowered her body to his, her breast meshing with the softness of his.

"No," he said and quickly tried to change the subject to which she stopped him. Kissed him gently.

"I'm going to touch you," she prepared him, "I'm going to touch you, and my hand will be warm and I'll be gentle," she whispered and slowly traced his body with her hand, slipping just under the waist band of his boxers until he grabbed her wrist and pleaded for her to stop.

Undaunted, she rubbed her thumb over his hand that held her wrist tightly. She kissed him softly, "I want to touch you. You won't let me, but I _want_ to. Let me," she whispered and continued to rub her thumb along his flesh until he let her go and finally relaxed. She kissed his chest tenderly as she slipped her hand into his boxers and stroked him softly. "Think of me," she whispered and flicked her tongue over his nipple, "think of me riding you like you like me to."

He closed his eyes and did just that and smiled as she continued to whisper some of the most erotic things he's ever heard from her, "You're bad, Liv," he teased.

Slowly, she kissed his scruffy face and sucked softly on his bottom lip as she ran her finger along his soft length, "Do you want m-"

In an instant, his back arched, his teeth clamp down right along with his hand on her butt as he gasped in air and let it out, taking in another short spurt. She didn't understand what was happening to him, he was still flaccid as she stroked him, "Liv!" he gasped and panted and dug into the flesh of her bottom.

She winced and let out a whimper of pain, burring her face in his neck. She kissed his neck, his chin and mouth, "What's wrong?"

"Felt it," he said somewhere between terrified and excited, "Liv, I felt your hand."

Her eyes went wide and she grinned, "You did?" He nodded with a grin that made her want him even more than she already needed him, "Show me, where?"

He slipped his hand into his boxers, covered her slender fingers and directed them to the underside of his shaft and closed his eyes with a smile, "Right there."

"Here?" she whispered and stroked him softly.

He nodded and withdrew his hand letting her touch him as he pulled her over his body and smiled again, "I can feel you."

"You like it?" she whispered in his ear trying to encourage this encounter as much as possible so that he could see and understand that while it might take a while, he's still very much capable of making love to her… one day.

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"Why are you awake?" Olivia asked groggily and snuggled closer to Elliot, "It's still early."

"My ring didn't break."

She looked up at him through sleepy eyes, "Honey," she said softly, "you could feel last night-"

"But I didn't get an erection… I didn't get to make love to you," he exhaled, "this is frustrating."

She sat up in the bed and kissed his cheek, "I know it is, but… it's starting now. You can feel in places you couldn't before… Elliot, your body is healing its self. It's just a matter of time right now."

He exhaled and wrapped his arm around her, letting her lean into his chest, "Paul is coming over today."

"Really? You two are spending a lot of time with one another."

"Why haven't you talked to Casey?"

Olivia exhaled, "El, its early… I don't wan to start our morning off like this. I don't want to fight."

He kissed the crown of her head, "I'm not looking to fight. He just said that Casey asks about you frequently. She's not mad, Liv. Will you talk to her?"

Olivia sniffled, "I said some hard things to her Elliot… I slapped her."

"And she slapped you… sounds even to me. Talk to her."

Olivia exhaled, "Alex is due in two more months… she looks like a hot air balloon."

He rubbed her back, "You used to change the subject so much more covertly," he smiled against her and looked at the clock, "Liv!" he chirped, "You're gonna be late!"

"What are you talking about?" she smiled and reclaimed his chest as her pillow, "The kids are all you this morning."

He arched his brows, "Really?"

"That's what I said," she laughed softly, "I got up after you went to bed last night and I took a look around to see what will make things easier for you… I put the babies in the playpen, instead of their crib so you can get them easier. I set the timer in the kitchen to go off every hour to remind you to call me."

He suddenly grew nervous, "What if I forget what the timer is for? I sort of forgot what the timer for Isaac's time out was."

"I'm sure he reminded you."

Elliot smiled, "Yeah, he did… maybe I shouldn't have the kids."

"You'll do just fine," she assured him, "I have class until twelve and then I'll pick Sam up from summer school and I'll be home… if you forget what one of the timers is for don't worry, it's all in your binder and you'll call me. If I don't hear from you I'll call you. I put the cordless on your chair and like you said, Paul is gonna stop by."

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Elliot reached over the play pen and grabbed Hannah by the back of her pajama's and gently pulled her up and into his lap, "Hey sunshine," Elliot whispered, "we'll let Solo sleep won't we?" he smiled and exhaled, he knew there was something he was supposed to do with each of the babies as soon as he got them up but maybe it was too early, because all he knew is that he wanted to hold them.

Hannah began to fuss and he smiled picking her up and turning her face to his, "Hi gorgeous," he whispered and nuzzled her nose with his, her hands playfully slapping his face as she giggled. He laughed and frowned at the small safety penned note on her pajama top, '_I need to be changed and fed, daddy. Check your binder_.'

He smiled. That's what it was. Changed and fed. Right.

He wheeled her to the couch, placed her gently on the cushion and retrieved his binder, flipping through, "Clothes on sofa. Bottles on counter.," he grinned and shut the book, "Too easy, baby girl."

Hannah laughed up at her dad as he stretched for clean clothes and gently began to change her out of her jammies frowning at her pamper, '_Change me. Don't forget powder_.' "Oh, right," Elliot muttered to himself and looked at the pile of Pampers that were left out for him, all bore the same message written in sharpie to remind him just in case he forgot.

"This is cake," he grinned down at her and finished dressing her before wheeling them both to the refrigerator and reading the paper held up by magnets, 'Solomon: 2 scoops formula. 8 oz. Water. 2 minutes in microwave. Hannah: 1 scoop formula. 4 oz. Water. 1 minute in microwave. Isaac: Oatmeal don't forget banana.'

"Formula? Microwave?" Elliot furrowed his brow, "No," he shook his head trying to remember any conversation where Olivia had told him they weren't breast feeding. He couldn't remember. Hannah fussed and Elliot began to second guess his decision to take on the task just as Paul entered.

"Hey," Paul smiled at a very confused looking Elliot as he held tightly to Hannah as if afraid in his mental laps he may drop her.

Elliot stared, "I can't do this, man."

Paul reached over and took Hannah from his arms, "Sure you can. Let's think it through," he told him, "What do you do when you get up?"

Elliot exhaled, rubbed his temple, "I take a piss and get changed and eat breakfast."

Paul nodded and ran a finger along Hannah's pamper, "Well, looks like you've managed to change her, and aside from her shirt being on backwards," he laughed, "she looks as beautiful as ever. What's next?"

Elliot shook his head in frustration, "Call, Liv… tell her to come home," he said and tried to wheel away.

Paul stopped the chair and locked one brake, "If you keep going, you'll just go in a circle. I used to do it to Casey all the time and she'd damn near kill me."

Elliot groaned and stopped, "I can't even take care of my kids. Olivia has been doing everything since I've gotten home… I can't remember this crap!" he yelled.

"Yes you can. Think it through… what's your binder say?"

"Same thing that's on the fridge but… I don't remember Olivia telling me she wasn't breast feeding anymore."

"She's winging them, remember?" Paul said softly, "Last week, I stopped by and was helping her take the groceries out of the car… do you remember the pack of formula? The discussion?"

Elliot furrowed his brow, "I should… but, I don't."

"Okay, that's fine." Paul assured him as he stroked Hannah's hair, "She went pee, she's got clothes on, and now she needs food… what were the directions Olivia left for you?"

Elliot looked at him and narrowed his eyes, "She called you and asked to come early?"

He exhaled, "No, actually I called her and asked if it would be okay to take you into the city today to do something. She said you had the kids, but left instructions. I came to give you a hand… don't be stubborn. Take it."

Elliot exhaled, "It's frustrating, I remember what doctors tell me. I even told Liv what you tell me. I can remember who won the fight last night, but… these little things… it's frustrating."

"It'll get better… you didn't know how to tie your shoes and you're good now."

"Yeah," Elliot nodded and peered over to the counter, "can you read me the note for Hannah again?"

Paul smiled softly and read him the instructions and watched as he filled the bottle with a shaky right hand and put it in the microwave. His left hand tracking her instructions as his right hand pushed the corresponding buttons. It must have taken Olivia hours to go through the things he would need and as Elliot moved through the kitchen it was apparent that some instructions weren't needed, while some were needed in great detail.

"I can remember to feed Moses but not the kids… that's pathetic," Elliot shook his head and exhaled.

Paul ignored his self pity and placed Hannah in his arms, retrieved the bottle and handed it to Elliot after shaking it, "Don't pity your self. Get strong so you can do all the things you've wanted to."

"Sam has a swim meet today, and I was going to do something for him but I don't really remember."

Paul smiled, "I'm sure Olivia will remind you. You guys have been working at the pool a lot. Olivia tells me Sam is swimming well and that Isaac floats around with floaters and the babies kick back… enjoy those things. Don't pity yourself."

Elliot nodded, took the bottle and peered down at his daughter with a smile, "You're uncle Paul is a jerk," he cooed and nuzzled her nose, "Yes he is."

Paul laughed as Solomon fussed in the distance, "I'll get Solomon and we'll wait for Isaac to get up… no need to start that whirl wind any earlier than necessary."

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"Where going Daddy?" Isaac asked as Elliot balanced the babies in his lap and Paul pushed his chair out onto the porch.

"We're going to the ball game," Elliot smiled.

"Ball?" Isaac furrowed his brow and adjusted Moses in his arms taking careful steps down the ramp.

"Did you call Olivia?" Paul asked as a reminder.

"Right after the alarm went off… I told her we we're going out. I think she had an aneurism."

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"Elliot?" Olivia called into the house, surprised to see Paul feeding Moses. Olivia arched a brow, "Feeding the puppy too, huh?" she teased.

"We'll," Paul laughed, "The game tired Elliot out. He's dead to the world and the babies are doing just fine-"

"Isaac?"

"Time out."

Olivia groaned and smiled, "For what?"

"Ehh, I'll let Elliot explain that one."

"That bad?"

"Well, it wasn't really bad. Actually, sort of cute, but… it might be embarrassing for Elliot, so… if he wants to tell you he will… I've got to get going, I'm supposed to be at work," he winked.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said in all seriousness, "you don't have to keep stopping by-"

"Stop," he smiled. "I stop by because I enjoy his pissy attitude, it makes me laugh. He needs another man… just like you need to talk to my wife."

She exhaled and sat on the couches arm, "I don't know what got into me tha-"

"Hey," he shrugged "you and I are fine. It's you and her that need to work this out but,… if it's any consolation to you. She's not upset, in fact… she misses you. You didn't go to coffee with her and Alex."

"I've gotten bus-"

"That's bull and you know it," he said softly. "She'll be at the track, running tomorrow morning… if you can squeeze it in your schedule, I know she'll like seeing you again."

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Olivia smiled down at Elliot and kissed his mouth gently, humming against him as he immediately kissed her back and opened his eyes, "Did you actually think I was asleep?"

"Yeah," she grinned and stretched out next to him, "Sam's meet is today… you up for it?"

"Yeah… was I supposed to do something for him?" Elliot asked in confusion as he adjusted himself to his side, surprising her by not asking for help.

She grinned, reached over to his nightstand and held up a whistle, "Do you remember now?"

He laughed, hid his face in her neck, "Yeah… thank you… is he home?"

"No, he asked me to drop him off at the center so he could warm up with the team and get ready… he's very excited. He wants you there. That's all he could talk about, was you being there and how you were going to help him… are you embarrassed to do it? There will be so many people there."

"I'm embarrassed but… if it helps him. I can do it."

She smiled, kissed him gently on the mouth, "Did I tell you today… that I love you?"

He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her tenderly, sipping softly on her bottom lip, "No, but that's okay," he whispered and grazed her nipple "'Cause I think I forgot to tell you how hot you are." He surprised both of them and rolled himself to his back, pulling her over him.

She laughed and swatted him softly, "You're gonna hurt yourself!"

"Fool around with me."

She blushed, "I just did last night."

"That was _last night_… the doctor said you and I should fool around _frequently._"

She laughed and rubbed her hips over his surprised when he took in a sharp breath, "Hurting you?"

He grinned, "No. Nope. Nope. Definitely not. I can feel it Liv… I can feel you and it's so amazing."

She smiled, kissed his mouth, let her tongue trace his lips, "I think you and I should fool around tonight."

"We can fool around right now," he whispered anxiously.

"Yeah," she smiled, "But, uh… we can fool around _naked_ tonight."

He opened his eyes and stared at her, "Um… Liv… I can feel but,… I don't think I can get-"

"Shh," she whispered and kissed his lips, "I said we could fool around. I didn't say anything else. That'll come when it comes…. Pun intended."

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"Hi baby," Olivia smiled and sat next to Sam, a small kiss on his cheek, "your dad is here."

Sam grinned, "I know… I heard his squeaky wheel."

Elliot chuckled, "Good thing I'm not in some covert operation huh? Do I have a hug coming?"

Sam giggled and slowly wedged himself between Elliot's legs and hugged him tight, feeling the baby in his arms and gently kissing his head, "Hi Solo."

"Hannah's here," Olivia said and sighed when Sam turned away.

"Isaac?"

"Sam Sam!" Isaac laughed, his hands up in the air as he stood on his tipped toes. "Lets go wawa."

"No," Sam smiled, "Not today, hear all the people?"

Isaac looked around to see the people in the bleachers, "Hurt Daddy?"

Sam furrowed his brows, Olivia looked at Elliot who quickly turned away from her curious stare. Something was up, Paul said something happened, and Elliot's guilty look just confirmed it. "They're here to see Sam and the rest of the kids swim."

"Wawa!" Isaac said and promptly turned to run to the pool. Elliot snagged him just in time and pulled him to his lap.

"We should have brought the stroller," Elliot exhaled.

"Nope, I like my babies close," Olivia smiled and kissed Hannah softly, "Besides have you tried to push a twin stroller… nightmare."

Elliot chuckled and then furrowed his brow at Sam, "What's wrong son?"

"My heat is first."

"So?"

"I don't want to be first… what if I loose?"

"Then we go home early and eat ice cream," he said matter of fact.

Sam exhaled, his legs shaking up and down, "My pants are different today."

Olivia groaned inwardly. She made the mistake of always letting him swim in board shorts knowing he didn't care for the Speedos, "You look good in them."

"You didn't see, me," he shook his head, "I don't want to swim today, mom."

"You'll do great, we're all here to see you and guess who just walked in and is making their way over here right this very second?"

Sam grinned, "Alex?"

"And Robert," she smiled.

"Uh," Elliot furrowed his brow, "And Casey, too."

Olivia looked up sharply, her eyes instantly meeting with the blond, surprised when Casey simply grinned, held tighter to Paul's hand and confidently made her way to them behind Alex and Robert. "How did she know?"

"I called Casey and told her to come," Sam smiled, "Dad said you and her have been sad and that's why we haven't heard her… so I called her. It was after ten."

Olivia smiled softly and kissed his cheek as Robert and Paul sat on either side of Elliot's chair on the closest bench and Alex and Casey flanked Olivia offering her no room for escape. Olivia cleared her throat, "Uh… Where's Addy?" she asked nervously.

"With Paul's mom… Sam called."

Olivia nodded nervously and exhaled, "Case, I'm so s-"

Instantly, Casey wrapped her arm around Olivia's shoulder, forgiveness given before it was asked for. A sisterly kissed to Olivia's temple, "How ya doing sauce monster?"

Olivia returned the embrace tightly and exhaled "I'm sorry, Casey."

"We all have our moment," Casey whispered, "Now," she let go and smiled, "I came here to see a little boy swim!"

Sam shook his head and stood to walk away, "I'm not swimming today."

"What?" Alex furrowed her brow, "Why not?"

Elliot watched his son walk off, quickly passed Isaac and Solomon to awaiting arms and wheeled after him, "Hey," he chuckled and sped past him picking him up and plopping him on his lap, "what's with the face?"

"Not swimming today."

"Why?"

"Tired."

"You had lots of sleep… try a different excuse."

"Hungry?"

"You pigged out for breakfast and I know you ate lunch with Alex… give me something different."

Sam exhaled, "Too many people dad. I didn't know so many people would be here." He began to cry and Elliot quickly wheeled him into the locker area.

"What's going on?" Elliot asked and kissed Sam's head softly.

Sam wiped his nose and refused to speak.

"Elliot? Sam? Is it clear?" Olivia asked from the doorway.

Elliot took a look around, "Yeah."

"What's wrong honey?" Olivia asked softly and squatted to his level as he stayed in his fathers lap.

"They'll see me." Sam sniffled, "and I don't want them to see me."

"Why?" Elliot asked. "You're such a great swimmer."

"But," Sam hiccupped and coughed, "my body isn't strong like your's dad and people will laugh at me and they'll wonder if my mom and dad take care of me. They'll stare at my scars. They won't know that you saved me from sad days."

Olivia exhaled, kissed him softly and pulled him gently off of Elliot's lap, "Baby… they're calling for your age group right now. I want you to go out there, and tell them you're swimming. Dad and I will take care of the rest. We won't let anyone tease you."

"Oh, excuse me," A tall slender man entered in a Speedos. Elliot cringed. Olivia held in her laughter.

"I'm sorry, I was helping my son," She smiled and took Sam's hand, "We'll be on our way," she bowed her head and led Sam away, waiting for Elliot.

"Hold on Liv... send him to sign in." He said, concentrating on the guy that had just walked in. He waited until Sam left and he turned his chair around, "Hey mister?"

"Yeah?"

"How much did you pay for those Speedo's?"

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"Are you sure you want to do this?" Olivia asked with a grin, "I mean… I did bring the camera so you realize I'm taking pictures of you."

"Ha ha Liv," he deadpanned. "He's concerned about people seeing him in Speedo's. I'll show him there's nothing to worry about."

Olivia laughed, "You're going to wear another man's Speedo's?"

"Yep," he smiled and tossed them to her, "but you're gonna rinse them out first… talk about nasty."

She groaned, did what he requested and after several minutes helped him into the too tiny pair of undies, "Oh this is funny." She laughed and arched her brows suggestively, "You look… huge in these."

Elliot grinned looking down at the bulge between his legs, "Well, I do look rather marvelous don't I?" he quipped and surprised her by taking it a step farther, "You can barely tell I'm missing one of the boys."

"El," she whispered seriously.

"Liv," He grinned, "Come on, it was a joke. I'm missing one… doesn't mean I won't be making you scream tonight."

"Elliot… we said _fool around_."

He shrugged, "Fool around, make you come… semantics. Let's go or we'll miss him."

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"Where's your sober half?" Casey joked and nudged Olivia who blushed.

"Uh… he's coming."

"Sam's over there," Alex said and pointed to the only swimmer still in his warm up suit.

Olivia exhaled, "I don't think he's gonna swim today, guys."

"Sure he is," Elliot piped up and raised his hand as the Novak's and Gray's threatened to laugh, "I need not hear your crap. It's a Speedo, and I look ravishing," he said confidently but his embarrassed blush told the group otherwise.

"Where'd you score those?" Robert snickered.

"You don't want to know," Olivia smiled down at Elliot and winked. The fact that she was watching Elliot Stabler wheel himself, in Speedos, in front of a huge crowd for the sole purpose of their son, was the most amazing thing he could have done for her, for Sam, for them. She pointed to Sam, "He's not moving."

Elliot nodded and waited a few more minutes before he saw the other young swimmers take their places on the diving podiums. Sam stayed back, his hands on his hips as an older man approached him. Elliot moved as fast as his chair would let him and Olivia followed suit, confidant her friends had her children.

"He can't swim in his warm ups," The older gentleman informed Elliot. "He'll be disqualified if he's not on the podium… the race is going to start."

Sam's nostrils flared as a tear escaped his eyes, "I want to go home. Moses is hungry. I need to feed her."

"Sam," Olivia said softly, "Take your suit off. You look good baby. Don't worry about what people think."

He exhaled and shook his head, "I'm not swimming."

"Yes you are," Elliot told him, "Because in this family, we don't give up when things get hard and we don't care what other's think about us. Give me your hand-"

"Sir," the gentleman interrupted, "I need him on the podium."

"In a second," Olivia told him already hearing the snickering and talking amongst the crowed as the two parents tried to convince their son to swim. She couldn't hear exact words and she didn't want to. A father in a chair. A son who couldn't see. She knew exactly what was being said.

Sam stretched out his hand to his father and Elliot touched his hand to his chest, touched his other hand to his thigh, "I'm wearing what you're swimming in… I have scars too, Son, and I have this chair, and believe me. I know that people are starring at me right now, but I don't care. This day is about you… it's not about our _dis_ability… it's about our ability. You can do this. Get that suit off, I'm gonna be at the end of your lane just like we practiced… that's all you need, just me and your mom. It's us, not them… get on that podium, son."

Sam exhaled and stretched his hands to Olivia, "Can you help me mom?"

She smiled and unzipped his jacket for him, "Where are your goggles and cap?"

"Pocket," he said suddenly more excited than he had been.

She pulled at the buttons on his pants and released them to see her son in his pink Speedo, she grinned as Elliot chuckled and kissed his son, "Pink huh?"

Sam grinned, "Dad! It's for the ladies!"

"I know," Elliot smiled, "and I'm proud… let's go."

Sam smiled, took his cap and handed Olivia the goggles, "Don't need'em."

She grinned, rolled her eyes at his sudden cockiness, "Get your hair wet, get your cap on and hurry, they're gonna disqualify you."

He did as he was told but quickly called for his dad again, "Dad… will they laugh at me?"

Elliot smiled, kissed his cheek, "I think Crystal will slug anyone who laughs at you. Besides… who can laugh at perfection?"

Olivia reclaimed her seat as Elliot wheeled to the opposite side of the Olympic size pool and waited as Sam positioned himself on the podium and bent low just like his mother had been teaching him for months. He knew exactly what form he needed to dive into the center of the lane, knew exactly how many seconds he needed to stay under before surfacing and stroking. He knew. She saw to it. But the one thing Olivia couldn't get him to master, Elliot had managed to do with a two-dollar whistle.

"What's Elliot doing?" Alex asked impatiently.

"You'll see… calm down," Olivia smiled. "They've been practicing this."

"How does Sam know he's swimming straight?" Casey asked in curiosity.

"They give him either the very top lane or the very bottom lane so he just has to reach and touch one wall. He'll touch on the downward stroke and adjust his distance if he needs to… it's really an amazing thing to see," Olivia grinned and wrapped her arms around both ladies waists, "You know… he's swimming for our future."

They smiled knowingly, "That's Sam… looking out for others," Casey chuckled.

"Even when he can't see, himself." Alex said softly.

The buzzard sounded and Robert and Paul, normally the two quiet ones out of the bunch, instantly stood to their feet and yelled frantically for Sam. Yelled to him that he was doing awesome, yelled to him that he was in the lead, that he had it, even though, he wasn't. He didn't. The swimmers in lanes one, four and five, touched and flipped just as Sam was making his way to the wall.

"Come on buddy!" Elliot yelled and Sam sped up instantly.

Elliot watched his son's head pass a certain marker and he blew his whistle, Sam flipped immediately, touched the wall and continued to swim. Elliot pushed his chair as fast as possible along the length of the pool to stop at the end of the lane, "Faster Sam!" Elliot yelled in complete excitement forgetting the fact that he was sitting in a chair in a Speedos. This was his son, swimming to him, no one else. He blew the whistle again and Sam flipped perfectly, distanced himself according to the wall of the pool and suddenly got his second wind.

"That's it baby!" Olivia yelled over the other parents who rooted frantically for their own child, "You got him…. You're overtaking!" she yelled as if he could hear her through the ruckus.

"Sam Sam!" Isaac jumped up and down and clapped his hands. Paul paced with Solomon in his arms as the tiny boy giggled with the excitement.

Hannah slept in Casey's arms, wanted nothing to do with all the ruckus but quickly woke up when Casey jumped up and joined the group in encouraging Sam as Elliot blew the whistle once and quickly again, letting Sam know he had to flip and this was the last lap. Elliot's arms ached as he propelled his chair back to the other side of the pool and Olivia found his eyes quickly, grinned and waved before pointing back to Sam. Elliot moved again, his grin bright as he waited at the end of the lane for his son who had since moved from fifth, into fourth and was struggling to catch third.

Elliot blew his whistle, three short bleeps to let Sam know he had to stop. Sam's face came up out of the water as his hand stretched to the wall. A smile.

Elliot locked his breaks, reached down to his son and helped him out of the water. A hug. "You're amazing," Elliot whispered.

Sam chuckled, "I'm so tired. He panted, "That was very hard."

Olivia made her way to her men, and wrapped her arms around both from behind Elliot's chair, "Wow! Sam!" she laughed and tugged his cap off to run her hand through his wet hair, "You did good baby. You did good!" Olivia kissed Elliot's cheek, "Thank you," she whispered in his ear and was surprised to see that he was crying.

"Guys!" Casey grinned, "That's was so amazing! Makes me want to learn to swim."

The group looked up at her, "You don't know how to swim?" Alex asked, out of breath as she rubbed her belly.

"I was an attorney, not a tadpole," she teased and kissed Sam, a curious glance given to Elliot whose tears continued.

"See son," Elliot whispered when the group gave them their space and gathered Sam's things for him, "it's not about our disabilities it's about our abilities."

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"Not very many racers or what?" Paul asked referring the near empty bleachers.

"It was only a two hour meet," Olivia smiled, "They're kids… the races are shortened."

Alex chuckled as Robert wrapped his arm around her waist and both looked down at the infants they held, "Two more months, Al."

"Hey," Olivia laughed, "You can take them home if you really want an experience."

Robert laughed, "Don't tempt her, she's been trying to snag everyone's baby… we've had sleepless nights already."

"Elliot laughed as Isaac walked along his side, his small hand gripping Elliot's chair as Sam rested asleep in Paul's arms. Exhausted from his adventure.

"Wawa!" Isaac grinned and pointed to the now empty and calm pool.

"No," Olivia told him softly as the group slowly made their way along. Elliot was tired even if he wouldn't admit it. She could see it. Olivia kissed him softly, "You were amazing today, Elliot."

He chuckled, "I'm old. I feel it."

"Na," she laughed, "you were-"

"Wawa!" Isaac yelled again and pulled away from the group. Elliot snagged him up again and looked down at him.

"Son, I'm sorry you didn't get to swim when they opened the pool for fun time, but we didn't know they were gonna do that, and we didn't have floaters for you. No wawa." Isaac furrowed his brow and promptly kicked Elliot's wheel. "That attitude is what got you busted this morning… keep walking. Be a big boy," Elliot encouraged.

Isaac groaned and stomped his feet, shaking his head and reluctantly walking to the group as they passed the deep end of the water, "Wow!" Alex laughed, and rubbed her belly, "Feel," she told anyone who was listening and a mob of hands instantly went to her belly, Elliot looked at the group, at Olivia's smile when she placed her hand and felt Alex's baby kicked. He wondered, momentarily if he'd even have another baby with Olivia, if he'd ever have the pleasure of feeling her body over him, his baby kicking within her. The morning sickness, the midnight cravings. The pudding. He smirked.

"Wawa!" Isaac yelled and bolted.

"ISAAC!" Elliot yelled and moved as fast as he could.

Olivia furrowed her brows, looking past the group to see her two-year-old son jump fearless into the deepest part of the pool, his legs tucked tight in a cannonball just as she'd shown him. Her heart plummeted as she broke through the group, "ISAAC!"

The small splash, the disappearance of a tiny body and blond hair as the water engulfed their son. Elliot gave one last push on his tires, propelled himself out of the chair and sloppily landed into the water. The water was bluer than he'd ever remembered water could be. He felt the bubbles escape his nose as his body began to sink helplessly to the bottom of the pool. He looked frantically right and left only to see his son falling fast away from him a smile on his lips before fear flashed through his young eyes.

Elliot moved as fast as he could propel him self deeper into the abyss, reaching in pain to his son who was consistently just out of his reach. He propelled himself harder with his arms, the ache in his lungs overwhelming as his legs offered nothing. He heard a small disturbance in the water, a dive. He gritted his teeth lunged his body with everything he had and jerked his entire body so he stuck out his leg just in time for Isaac's body to fold over it. Elliot pulled him by his shirt. His lungs about to burst as Isaac's eyes closed, his little legs kicking just as another disturbance was felt in the water.

Elliot looked up to see Olivia swimming frantically down to her family, her eyes wide with fear as Elliot held his son and both continued to sink. He felt Olivia catch him by the shirt, saw her inadvertently take in a gasp of water and struggle. His eyes locked with hers for a moment. An apology given as his body continued to sink and he stretched his arms to her. She took Isaac with one arm, struggled for Elliot whose eyes lost her gaze, but her lungs pleaded for her to surface.

She felt a sudden push at her waist and was propelled to the surface, Robert and Alex frantically reaching for her and pulling both mother and son out of the water.

"Elliot!" she yelled as Robert and the older gentleman Olivia recognized as the man wanting to disqualify her son, began pressing on her youngest son's chest. She dove back in, her body aching, her jeans and shirt making the swim cumbersome. She saw him, saw Paul struggling to get Elliot, who was six feet of dead weight into a position to surface. She moved faster vaguely aware of a muffled cry from up top. Isaac was alive. That knowledge moved her faster, she hooked her arm under Elliot's, motioned Paul to do the same and both friends bent their knees before springing forward and paddling their feet as fast as possible to the surface.

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"You scared the crap out of me," Olivia sniffled as she lay stretched out to Elliot in their bed, "I mean you scared me Elliot… You really scared me."

He smiled softly in exhaustion, "I wasn't trying to… I just… I knew if I kept struggeling, I wouldn't make it."

She cried into his chest, "You keep scaring me like this and I'm gonna have a heart attack."

He chuckled softly and kissed her head, "I saw you swimming down to us, and for a second… I thought I was dead. I thought you were an angel."

She looked up at him, "I swear Elliot… don't you dare leave me. Don't die on me."

"Heaven would be hell without you."

She closed her eyes and shook her head, anger suddenly making it's self known, "Why'd you go in? Why!" she snapped and sat up, "You knew you couldn't swim! Why would you do that!"

"Liv-"

"Answer me!" she sobbed and shook her head softly, her hand finding it's way to his cheek, "Elliot, I thought I was loosing you all over again… why did you do that? Do you know I wouldn't have died if Isaac didn't make it, I was so relieved when the doctors said he checked out fine, but if I would have lost you too… Elliot… why?"

He exhaled in frustration, "I… he's my son."

"I'm your wife."

"He's our son," Elliot stated again, " Liv… if it would have been you… I'd of done the same thing. I wasn't thinking that I couldn't swim and should wait for someone else… I was thinking that my son needed me and I absolutely had to get to him. That's all."

She wiped at her tears as she knelt next to him on the bed, "You could have died."

"Olivia… I already feel bad for not being able to protect my boy… please… please don't do this to me. I don't want to fight, I wan tot hold you… I thought I was gonna loose you too."

She sobbed, bending her body to rest in his chest, "I thought you were gone."

"I'm here."

"You're a good father."

"I'm a piece of shit for a father."

She sat up, surprised, "What?"

He exhaled, looked away, "I couldn't get to him… what if it was just me and him? I didn't have the strength to get him to the surface again… I was tired. Weak."

She shook her head, "No," she whispered and pushed his long hair behind his ear, "you were amazing, you've always been amazing."

He let his sobs thunder out of his body and she quickly straddled him, brought her knees up to his rib cage, her hand under his neck, the other over his chest as she kissed him softly, letting him cry as her lips found his ear and she gently sang to him until his crying ceased, his body relaxed and his breathing evened as he gave himself over to sleep.

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Elliot wanted nothing to do with talking about the pool incident. It was Sam's day that day and Isaac had 'caused a little mischief, he'd explained to Olivia, and when three weeks passed by and she saw him standing freely on his own at their bathroom sink there was nothing she could do except smile from their bed and wipe at her tears.

He turned to her and grinned through his tooth paste, "I'm not shaking yet."

She laughed and wiped at another tear and crawled off of the bed, "I know… how long have you been standing up here?"

He spat in the sink and rinsed his mouth before wiping, "Uh… I'm not sure. I cleaned my ears, combed my hair, put my shirt on… I'm still a little nervous doing my own pants, but I think maybe I've been standing up for four or five minutes. Maybe more."

She grinned over his shoulder and locked her eyes with his in the mirror, "So amazing," she whispered and splayed her hands over his chest as she kissed his back, tongued a soft trail along his scar and rested her cheek on the warmth of his flesh, "Alex should be giving birth any day now."

Elliot smiled, "I'd love to get you pregnant again."

She laughed behind him, "Unemployed, remember that Elliot."

He grinned, "Well, I mean… you and I, we've got to start foolin' around again… three weeks, no foolin' around. I'm dying."

She smiled kissed his back again, "I wanted to make sure you were well… you almost died on me E-"

"But I didn't… a little water in the lungs never hurt anyone," he smiled and slowly moved his feet and turned in her embrace.

She looked up at him and grinned, "You been practicing that?"

"No," he smirked, "Just did it right now. Wanted to see you."

She smiled and kissed his neck softly, "It's the end of August… the weather is gonna start changing… it's gonna hurt you isn't it?"

He chuckled, "Don't remind me."

She smiled, "Sam wants to know when you're coming to see him swim again."

Elliot swallowed hard, "I've missed his meets… does he think I'm mad?"

"No," she shook her head, "I told him that you and Jim have been having to do some special exercises and you had to miss them… he's consistently second and third… that's amazing considering."

Elliot smiled, "I'll be at his next meet… how's the whistle working for him?"

"Great… thank you for thinking about that. I didn't' know what to do for him."

He smiled and waggled his brows, "I know what you could do for me."

She grinned, "Yeah… what's that?"

He palmed her bottom and pulled her close, "I want to fool around with you tonight."

She exhaled, "We told the kids we were gonna watch a movie with them… can't go back on our word."

He licked his lips, his body began to shake, "Can you get my chair?"

She smiled softly, dipped her hand into his boxers and stroked him, both incredibly surprised to feel his body suddenly start to swell slowly, but swell nonetheless. "Liv-"

"I feel you," she whispered and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Is this what you meant by fooling around?"

He grinned in excitement of what his body was doing, grinned like a teenager getting ready to loose his virginity, "Y-yeah."

She laughed, withdrew her hand and made him take a step to her. He did easily and she cupped him gently before taking another step back and forcing him to follow her until he'd taken nine steps on his own. Confidant steps. He lowered himself and she couldn't help but grin as he peeked into his boxers. Her grin fell when he exhaled and looked away.

"What?" she whispered and kissed his neck.

"Nothing-"

"It will get better," she whispered to him, knowing that he was disappointed that his erection could only amount to a semi-soft mass until it decreased almost immediately. "It's getting better," she encouraged him.

He chuckled and reached up to touch her forearm, "I guess me almost dying got the little marine to start thinking."

She arched a brow, kissed his cheek softly, "Believe me Elliot," She whispered in his ear, "there's nothing little about that Marine."

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"Elliot?" She called into the house surprised to hear no response. She struggled to get Sam to the couch and lay his sleeping body down. She kissed him softly and made her way into the back of the house only to find Elliot in the office starring at what she knew to be her own case file, "El?"

"Why didn't you say something?"

She exhaled, took her seat and scooted close to him, her hand on his leg, "Elliot… was it important to know what they did?" she asked softly, "Would it have helped you get better?"

He swallowed, looked up at her, his eyes brimming with anger and compassion all at once, "It would have helped me focus on you instead of me."

"I needed you to focus on you…. So you could get home to me, that's all I cared about," she whispered "It didn't affect me, Elliot."

"How can you say that?" he whispered, "They beat you… they ripped your clothes off and touched you… how can that not affect you?"

She smiled softly, "I don't have an answer for you, Elliot… I'm not sure what I was thinking when those women attacked me-"

"Did they… I mean, I know they're women, but… did they, penet-"

"No," she whispered softly and caressed his face, "No, there was no penetration. No objects, no nothing. You know I can consider myself lucky for that… jail rapes… not exactly pleasant, not that any type is."

"Tell me what happened Liv."

She swallowed and looked away, "You read the report."

"I want you to tell me," he whispered and gently grabbed her chin forcing her to look at him. He traced the scar left behind on her brow, it could have been a twin to the one her mother left her, "Tell me… what did those women do to you?"

She exhaled, lowered his hand and kissed his palm, "It's not important… we still going out tonight?"

"Answer me," he pleaded tenderly, "what did they do to you?"

She licked her lips, slowly made her way into his lap and rested her face in his neck, "You smell really good. Just get out of the shower?"

He smiled, "Yeah… first time I did it by myself, but you're changing the subject, tell me."

She traced the contours of his muscles through his shirt and spoke slowly, "One of the women from a different pod recognized me. Apparently, she was a prostitute we questioned awhile back… sold me out in a heart beat. Told everyone I was bacon."

He exhaled, stroked her back softly, "They ganged up on you?"

"I was on my rack… this huge woman pulled me off like I was a rag doll and tossed me into the wall like I was a light weight."

"Did you fight back?" he whispered and held her tighter.

She exhaled, tucked herself tighter in his embrace, "Elliot… I don't want to talk about this right now. You were going to take me out… let's go out."

"Tell me," he encouraged her again, "You haven't talked to anyone about it, and the things that I read… you need to voice it."

She cleared her throat of emotion she was surprised to have. She hadn't thought about that night in jail, she hadn't thought about the woman whose knee dug into her shoulder to hold her down. Nor had she thought about the woman who tried to pry her naked thighs apart, "I yelled for a guard,… no one came."

"What happened next?" he asked and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Elliot… this is… hard, I don't want to ta-"

"It is hard," he agreed, "I don't want you to keep it in, tell me."

She held the material of his shirt in her hand, rested her chin on his shoulder and stared at a picture of her and him; taken the day she told him she was pregnant for the second time, "I didn't… I didn't fight back when they started to attack me. I really didn't care what happened to me at that point. I hoped that they would kill me."

"Liv-"

"The doctors… didn't tell me much. They were always so secretive, didn't want to give hope… kept me on a need to know basis, and it drove me insane. I just… I thought, I thought somehow, everything I'd ever done wrong had caught up to me and its manifestation was you being taken from me… I'd like to think I always believed you'd wake up, but… that day, I had an overwhelming feeling you wouldn't, and I thought… if I died, I'd at least get to be with you."

"Liv… if you'd died and I woke up… then what?"

She exhaled shifted her gaze to a picture of her with Isaac on her shoulders as they walked through the city. He'd let his ice cream melt all over her hair that day and she couldn't have cared less, "I didn't think that far ahead… I wasn't really think at all, I just… needed to get to you and if I had to die to do it, I was fine with that."

"What about our kids?"

"Please," she whispered and exhaled "don't condemn me, Elliot… it's too much. I think about the decision I made to confront White the second I wake up in the morning, I think about that decision when I hold the babies or play with the boys, and I think about it when you hold me, and it's my last thought before I fall asleep at night."

He pushed her gently back and looked at her, "I'm not offering you condemnation… you've given yourself enough of that. I'm offering you a chance to say it so you don't have the nightmares anymore-"

"I don't ha-"

"I hear you," he whispered and framed her face, "I can feel you toss and turn. I hear you cry in your sleep… sometimes you're begging me to forgive you. Sometimes you're yelling that you wish you'd killed White, and sometimes… sometimes you're yelling at yourself. When is that gonna stop?" he asked and gently wiped at a fallen tear, "When will you accept that this isn't your fault, that you have nothing to beg forgiveness for… when? Tell me."

She sniffled "I don't know."

"What happened with those women?"

She exhaled stared down and closed her eyes, "They kept kicking and kicking and the louder I yelled for a guard… the harder they kicked."

"Why didn't you fight back Liv? Why?"

"I told you," she shook her head, "I just… didn't want to be here without you. I rolled onto my back and they sort of backed off but… I was still alive and I didn't want to be, so I egged them on. Asked if that was all they had… this big woman slammed her foot down on my chest, so hard, that I thought for sure I was gonna die, but then… one of the girls from the back she uh… grabbed my shirt and… I'm not sure what these women eat," she tried to joke but neither laughed, "But uh… she just ripped it off and the other woman smiled, this sick grin and asked what my tattoo was for."

Elliot exhaled stroked her back softly, "What did you tell her?"

"I told her to go fly a kite."

He chuckled sadly, "You can be so infuriating sometimes."

"Apparently it worked on her… she told them to hold me down and she pulled out this toothbrush that had been filed down on the end, you know? Like a shank."

"I know," he nodded softly.

"She told me she'd cut it off of me and then give me a new one… two woman held my shoulders and this big one stepped between my legs and I kicked her as hard as I possibly could and she went down to her knees… I tried to struggle but, let me tell you Elliot… I need to gain some muscle weight-"

"You were beaten Liv… it's understandable that you couldn't get up. Stop trying to joke, stop trying to make light of it… they beat you… and she tried to touch you… aren't you angry?"

She ran her hand through her hair and exhaled, "Of course I am, what kind of question is that?"

"Hey," he smiled softly, "I'm not trying to pick a fight with you… I just want you to realize that there is a lot you haven't dealt with."

"And what about you?" she challenged, "you think I don't notice when you cringe every time we stop at the gate to the driveway? Do you think I don't notice how nervous you get if your in the living room by yourself, if I'm not there with you? Do you think that I don't notice that you always have Sam drag the kitchen chair to the back deck… I notice Elliot, and I ask, and you don't talk."

He took a deep breath, "You're right… I just," he swallowed and stared as he shook his head, "It uh… do you know… how ashamed I feel, to be scared to go outside to check the mail? Do you think that I feel like a great man or dad or husband when I'm scared of the dark, or when I forget where you are and I have to frantically dig through the binder to remember… do you think I want to confess those things to you?"

She framed his face, kissed his lips softly, "No more so than I want to tell you that some woman striped my pants and underwear and tried to pull my legs apart, no more so than I want to tell you that she touched me, that she grabbed my breast so painfully I couldn't feed the kids when I finally did make it out of there… I'm was scared too Elliot, but you're next to me and I'm not afraid anymore."

He shook his head, "That's just it… you're next to me, and I'm still afraid. I'm afraid he'll come back Liv, I'm afraid he'll take my kids from me, I'm afraid he'll hurt you. I'm afraid to go outside by myself… I'm afraid he'll be there. I'm afraid in my own home… it's… humiliating."

She exhaled, rested her forehead against his, "Baby, I told you… White is dead. He's never coming back. Warner did the autopsy herself and Donovan was there… he's gone, baby and it's just me and you and were gonna take over the world," she smiled softly. "I told you… I'll protect you now… I will, for as long as you need and then one day, you wont need it anymore, because you'll be back to your old self and you and me and the kids will never have to look over our shoulders again."

He furrowed his brow, placed his palm over her breast, "Did she hurt you?"

Olivia nodded softly, "Yeah, it hurt to feed the kids for a long time. I had bruises, but… she uh… tried to uh… with her finger and I managed to kick her off of me and lock my ankles, but it was the woman holding my shoulder with her knee… she'd bent over and kissed Isaac's hand print and… I lost my mind, Elliot. I focused on one of them and I kept kicking and punching and screaming like a mental case until I finally felt a guard pull me off. He separated us and I was still trying to kill her," she exhaled and shook her head, "So… now you know," she whispered and closed the file on the desk, "you don't need to waste your energy on what happened to me… focus it on getting better."

"Don't you get it, Olivia?" he asked softly, "You and Me… we're one person, I can't get better if you're not getting better. We got to do this together and it's more than just exercises and this chair… I read White's statement, just before he was killed."

She bit her lip and exhaled. She moved to stand and he told her to stay as he held her, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You need to… because that's why you're not forgiving yourself for the other stuff, for Sam's fall, for the drinking, for this stupid chair… you're not forgiving yourself Olivia, and that stops right now. Tonight. Tell me."

Olivia's chin quivered and she quickly put herself in check, her voice raspy, "I wanted to kill him for what he did to you."

"You're above that."

She shook her head, closed her eyes as her tears flowed, "Not that night I wasn't… I embraced my conception and my upbringing and I milked it and encouraged myself with it… I used it to my advantage, and the scary thing was… that it felt okay to do it. It felt okay to embrace that evil part of me."

He framed her face and looked dead in her eyes, "You. Do not. Have. Any. Evil. In you. You weren't thinking clearly-"

"Wasn't I? I pushed the button for the nurse… I offered myself an out. It seemed pretty calculated to me."

"It wasn't," he whispered, "because you were broken and anyone would have seen that. I knew it and I wasn't even able to wake up."

She sobbed and looked up at Elliot with pleading eyes, "Do you know how confused I am?"

"I can only imagine," he whispered, "but you're not your mother."

"I got drunk… I hurt Sam-"

"No," he told her firmly, "Sam fell and that was before you were intoxicated. Stop!" he said and grabbed her biceps firmly, "Stop doing this to your self. It's going to destroy us."

She shook her head, "I don't know what to do!" she yelled, her voice breaking.

He pulled her close, "You tell me when you're hurting. You wake me up when you've had a nightmare. You let me touch you when you don't want to be touched and you live, Olivia. You keep living. Don't let White or Nick or your family take anything else away from you. You live. One day, you and I make love, and it'll be slow and passionate and I'll hold you when you break. And on another day, we'll take our kids to the park and we'll laugh with them and wrestle in the leaves and the next day you'll give me a pretzel because you're pregnant-"

She pulled back and smirked at him, "You really want another baby?"

"Not just yet," he whispered and stroked her cheek, "but yeah. One day… and you're the one I want to be with tomorrow, and every day after that, but I can't get better if you're killing yourself, because you're gonna me down with you. I'm not strong enough to be without you."

She sniffled and nodded "I want to get better. My mind is so… jumbled. I'm confused most of the time and I'm barely staying afloat."

He smiled, kissed the corner of her mouth, her cheek, and rested his cheek against hers as he held her body against him, "Let me be your life vest, Liv. I'll keep you afloat, but you've got to work with me baby… you've got to talk."

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"Hi!" Casey grinned and virtually pulled Olivia into her home, "How've you been?" she asked giving Olivia a tight squeeze and assessing her, "You look better than you have in a long time. You were starting to look questionable there for awhile."

Olivia arched her brow, "Questionable?"

"You know what I mean… what brings you by? I haven't heard from you since the pool incident… how are they?"

Olivia exhaled, "Very well. Elliot is able to walk form the restroom to the bed by himself but he'll only do it if I'm right behind him… Casey, I didn't come to talk about them."

Casey tossed her a water and nodded, "Okay… uh… what did you come to talk about? And why haven't you called or stopped by? Addy asks about you all the time."

Olivia rubbed her neck, "You're making this too easy… you should be angry."

Casey exhaled and set her water down on the counter, "Angry at what?"

"You know what," Olivia whispered.

"Oh… well, yeah, I guess you are a lousy drunk, but that's nothing to be angry about," Casey winked and before Olivia could protest Addison was running towards his mother, his pamper forcing his little legs to waddle as he giggled and asked to be picked up. Casey did so and kissed his cheek, "Hey my gorgeous little boy, up form your nap?"

Olivia looked down the hall and back at Casey, "Paul here?"

"Nope," she smiled, "Addison just learned how to climb out of his crib last week. Paul is bed shopping."

Addison smiled and turned to Olivia waving a chubby hand, "Hi!"

Olivia's eyes went wide and she grinned, "Hi! You're getting so big."

He laughed, stood to his feet on the counter and leaned into Casey as she held him, "I'm not upset with you Olivia, although I was pissed with the smell that lingered in my car for weeks," she teased.

Olivia blushed "I'm sorry."

"Ah, don't be… I had the flu three days after I last saw you… puked all over Paul."

Olivia laughed and then sighed, "Casey… I'm sorry I've missed so much time with you."

Casey licked her lips, "You've got to stop feeling like I'm not gonna be here just because you've made wrong decisions. You can't be the only strong person in this friendship. That's not how it works… you've got to accept my help just like I've accepted your's. I didn't push you away when you dragged me off of that bridge, in fact, I asked Paul to make them let me see you… but you… you can't bare the thought of someone offering you hand-"

"That's not-"

"True?" Casey asked and lowered Addison to the floor followed by a small Gerber cookie, "Sure it is… you know, Alex, myself and Mac and Fin and even Cragen pitched in on the carpet for you, because we wanted to give you a nice birthday gift… you tried to pay us back, Olivia. You can't stand for people to help you yet you loose your mind if you can't help others… that's selfish."

Olivia nodded, "You're right Casey. I'm sorry."

Casey arched her brow, "Huh?"

"I'm sorry."

"That quick? No but? No fight?"

"None," Olivia smiled sadly, "I've learned a lot since Feburary. My marriage has grown, my friendships tested and found solid. I've learned and I'm just… asking for your forgiveness."

Casey smiled softly, "Who the hell taught you to slap that hard?"

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"Are you excited?" Olivia smiled at Alex who was sprawled out on the bed, her hands roaming her belly.

"I'm terrified… I was excited up until about a week ago. Now I'm just full blown scared," she grinned.

Olivia flopped down next to her and smiled, "You've got a great group of friends to help you out. If I do say so, myself."

"I know," Alex grinned, "does Sam know I won't be at school for the first few months?"

"Yeah… not appreciating it though," Olivia laughed, "but it's good. It'll force him to eat in the cafeteria and socialize with other kids."

"You ever ask him about that kiss he gave Crystal?"

"Na," Olivia smiled, "I figure, it was innocent."

"You won't be saying that when you're a grandma in six years."

"Alex!" Olivia groaned, "Don't say that."

Alex laughed, "I separated them last week."

"From kissing?" Olivia arched her brow.

"Holding hands," Alex smiled, "You better give him the talk, before he figures it out on his own."

Olivia smiled and traced patterns into her friends bulging belly, "Do you know how complicated that talk with him is gonna be? He's uh… well his body has surprised him a few times, if you catch my drift and he's freaked out."

"Use that to your advantage."

Olivia frowned, "I'm scared I'll either sound too liberal or too over protective."

"Does he ask questions?"

"Yeah… innocent though."

"Well… do you remember how you learned about sex?"

"Watching my mothers soaps… tell anyone that and you're dead," Olivia smiled.

"We're you curious?"

"Abundantly."

"Wish someone would have talked to you?"

Olivia exhaled "I was so young that I think I was more focused on not letting people find out about my mother… then… Oliver happened and it completely turned me off of sex."

"Until you met Elliot… now you're addicted to sex," Alex teased then wished she hadn't, "I'm sorry… I didn't-"

Olivia laughed, "Its fine… one thing at a time for us."

"Still nothing?"

"No, but… there's' progress," Olivia smiled, "I'll have a story for you and Casey, soon."

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Olivia lay on the couch as Sam and Isaac lay asleep on the love seat, Hannah sprawled asleep on the carpet after a long day of finally figuring out how to stand up and use the couch to help her walk. Olivia tossed Solomon up a few inches and caught him in her hands, he laughed and she chuckled. Isaac had been taken at seven months, but here she held her ten month old son and bore witness to things she hadn't been able to see before in her own children. The first two teeth that both Solomon and Hannah displayed whereas Isaac's teeth hadn't began to cut when he was taken.

The attempts to stand on their own will only to fall and plop down on their pampered bottoms. The babbling, the constant, "Mmmm's" and "Daaaaa's" that Elliot and Olivia were jocking to see who would be called mom or dad first. She teased Elliot, told him all children call their mom's name first but, secretly, she wished and hoped and even encouraged the babies to say "DaDa" for the sole purpose of bringing more comfort to her husband who, as she looked at the clock, was late coming in from his first night away from her.

Robert had called and asked if he could take Elliot with him and Paul and that Carp and Mac might join, provided nothing came up at work. She was utterly thrilled with the idea but spent the better part of the day convincing Elliot to go. He'd shocked her by telling her what happened when he went out with Paul. Isaac had gotten away from him and Elliot couldn't wheel up the steps of the stadium to retrieve him. He'd fallen before Paul could get to him and a woman, who couldn't see Elliot's predicament of being in a chair had yelled at him. Told him to keep a closer eye on his son. Elliot had thanked her for her concern, unwilling to do anything else. Paul had told her to shove a hot dog up her butt and when she stood to yell at Paul, Isaac had firmly kicked her in her shin, pointed and waved a chubby finger at her and then back at Elliot, 'My daddy!' he'd said and before Elliot could tell him to stop, he'd promptly kicked her again garnering him his time out. They left before the second inning was over.

Olivia thought it was amusing that their son would stick up for their father, but when she reminded Elliot that it wasn't about his disability, it was about his ability, he began to consider the idea. It wasn't until she told him she'd wheel him outside and lock him out until the guys came and got him that he gave completely in. Under duress he said. She knew otherwise. She knew he needed out of the house and she was glad he got to go. She was glad to be with her little ones on the few short weeks of break until the fall semester started again.

She laughed to herself as Solomon sat on her belly, she laughed because just hours ago she watched as Isaac chased his older brother with a frog in his hand like a little boy chasing a girl with a bumble bee. Sam hated to get dirty and Isaac loved to get him dirty. Olivia couldn't help the laughter that kept coming, she'd been blessed, she'd been blessed with friends who've helped her though some of the worse torment imaginable, she'd been blessed with a husband who, while he might have been rough on the outside, he was tenderhearted and he adored her.

She framed her youngest son's chubby face and kissed the corner of his mouth unaffected by his moist lips, "Your daddy adores me, do you know that?" she said with a smile, "he loves you too, but he adores me. I think I'm just figuring that one out," she chuckled, "What are you gonna be when you grow up, huh? Cop like your daddy? You look like him, except for the blond hair you've got going," she smiled and ran her fingers through it "You've got his nose… I didn't think you did at first, but yep, it's right there," she smiled and touched it softly, "he doesn't like his nose," she said gently and kissed Solomon on the tip of his nose, "But I love it, and you've got it."

"Hey!" Elliot grinned as he wheeled himself into the house, pocketing the keys as Robert reset the alarm and put the bags down.

"Oh, hey, can you put that black one in my back pack?" Elliot asked and Robert laughed but did so.

"Hey," Olivia raised up and peeked over the couch with Solomon still in her arms, "you are so late mister," she teased.

"It's Robert's fault, he lost my chair."

Olivia's eyes widened, "Robert… how on earth do you loose a wheel chair, and more importantly… Elliot, why weren't you in it?"

Robert laughed, "Slow down, Olivia… he wanted to eat in a booth with me and the guys. We got him in and parked the chair elsewhere, only… when I went to go get it, it wasn't there."

Elliot chuckled, "The waitress had moved it but clocked out and forgot to tell anyone. They had the whole staff looking for it."

Olivia rolled her eyes, still kneeling in the couch as Solomon leaned forward and smiled at his father, a wave of his hand before squirming free from his mother who helped him to the floor. She watched him as he crawled frantically to his dad, laughing and giggling and then squealing in delight as Elliot bent over in his chair and picked him up like he was a new born. Smooth. Effortless. He was getting better. Slowly.

"I've got to go," Robert smiled and waved his goodbyes, "I've got this incredibly sexy wife at home that I've got to go see."

"Hey," Elliot grinned and spun the chair around to see him out as he held firmly to his son, "don't forget what I told you man," Elliot whispered, "It's still good even when they're that far along… just bring her to the edge of the bed and have a whole lot of fun."

Robert grinned, "Thanks man, I'll do that."

Elliot chuckled and closed the door, spun around to see a curiously starring wife, "What?"

"Were you giving him sex advice?"

Elliot grinned and pushed himself to her, "Those who can't…. teach."

She laughed with bright eyes, covered her mouth so the kids didn't wake up and smiled because he was smiling. He was joking about their predicament and for the first time it was just a joke that both of them laughed at and it did wonders for them. "I love you," she smiled and kissed his lips. He kissed her back, held his son with one had, cupped her cheek with the other and kissed her passionately on the mouth before letting her go and winking. "I should send you out with the guys more often," she blushed.

He laughed, "Come on, Liv. Let's get the kids to sleep you and I have got some stuff to do."

She lazily moved from the couch and picked up Hannah, "Stuff? I don't know about you but I'm all stuffed out… laundry, Sam's practice, I had coffee with Alex and Casey and then I came home and cleaned-"

"No," he shook his head and carefully positioned Isaac on his lap as he slept, "that's boring stuff. No, we're not doing that," he said and slowly wheeled himself to the boys room as she followed, "Nope, tonight, you and I are gonna experiment."

"Experiment," she arched a brow and stopped just shy of the bedroom, "With what?"

Elliot smirked and expertly spun his chair around, "Your orgasm."

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"Dance with me Liv," Elliot asked softly, "I miss it."

She smiled softly, "I really didn't think you were that obsessed with it. There was never music, and it wasn't really dancing, neither me nor you really know how to dance."

He shrugged, "So… I want to dance with you."

She smiled, "Can you stand that long?"

He pulled her by her waist and pulled her to his lap as he moved his chair to the middle of the living room, "Who said anything about standing? I want you next to me for a lot longer than I can stand up. Five minutes won't do, I want you longer," he whispered and locked a break, holding her with one hand and gently moving his chair forward and back, "See there, I'm a fantastic dancer."

She smiled into his chest and looked up at him kissing his beard and then his nose before nuzzling it softly with her own, "You're so happy today… what's up?"

He grinned, "I woke up today and the sun was shinning down on my face."

She looked at him with confusion, "And that has you this happy?"

"No," he whispered and kissed her cheek, "No… what got me happy was when I rolled over to you and my body didn't ache and I wrapped my feet with yours and you nestled closer to me and continued to sleep… to moan."

She blushed, "I wasn't moaning."

"Oh, yes you were," he grinned, "You definitely were, in fact, I do believe I heard my name, and I could see how turned on you were," he grinned and grazed her nipple softly, "it got me thinking about some stuff." 

She closed her eyes, enjoyed his touch and finally opened to see him grinning up at her. "Yeah? Dare I ask?"

"What are your orgasms like?"

Her lips pursed slightly, her brows raised, "What?"

"Your orgasms… what are they like?"

She blushed furiously and moved to hide her face over his shoulder but he made her stay put so he could see her. He chuckled, stopped the motion of the chair and slipped his hand up her shirt, stroking her flesh gently, "Elliot."

"I want to know… it's so different for a guy."

"Elliot," she shook her head, "it was in your college biology class."

He grinned, "I took zoology. I can dissect a frog pretty well, but uh… I lack knowledge about your orgasms… I want to know Liv. I want to know what your body does." He whispered and adjusted her body so she was straddling him in his chair, his hands locked at the small of his back, her fingers laced behind his neck, "See, this chair, is good for a few things." She smiled and averted her gaze when the sudden image of her making love to him in the chair flashed through her mind, "I know what you're thinking, " he whispered into her ear, "and I was thinking the same thing… believe me. I'm not opposed to it when I can."

She arched her brows, "I was thinking we needed to grocery shop."

"You're so full of crap."

She laughed and adjusted her body closer to his, "Um… it depends really."

"On what?"

"You."

His jaw went slack, "Really? I have that much control over you?"

She laughed, "Don't get a big head on me, Elliot… I just mean that," she quieted her laughter and ran her hands along his chest, Mac's been taking him to work out his arms and chest again for the past few weeks and it's working.

"Tell me what you mean."

"I mean that uh… I dunno…if you torture me like you love to do, I go insane and it's pretty intense when it happens."

"And if I don't torture you."

"It's still intense, but… soft too."

"Which one do you like the most?"

She smiled, kissed his mouth, "The one where you're with me."

He swallowed, felt a welcomed tingle between his legs, silently pleaded with his body that this would be the night he made love to her but, he also knew that his body still wasn't quite up to par. "You like it when we come together?"

"Yeah," she bit her lip, "I love that."

He smiled, "How does it start?"

She chuckled, "You're gonna make me go into detail?"

"Yeah… I want to know,"

"Um… it depends on how or where you're touching me. You've given me some pretty fantastic orgasms just touching my breasts."

He grinned, "I'm particularly proud to be able to do that."

She nodded, her stare more intense as she gazed down at him, "I uh… I'm pretty happy about it," she whispered and gently unbuckled his pants, "Is this okay?"

He nodded with a smile, his eyes closed when she stroked him and he felt every single sensation from base to head, "Felt it," he said tightly and pulled her hips closer to him, "felt everything."

She grinned, "Everything?" she whispered and kissed him as he swelled in his shorts.

"Every…thing," he nodded and beamed, "but… I still want to know."

"You've developed a one track mind. I remember when my hands," she whispered and kissed him, "and my lips," she said and flicked her tongue over his lips, "and my mouth, could make you do whatever I wanted you to do."

He chuckled, caught her tongue before she could pull away and sucked softly, "It's all those memory exercises you make me do so we don't have post-it notes everywhere… by the way, I'm not the only one that uses the last of the toilet paper."

She chuckled rubbed her hips against him and felt a weak erection press into her. Tonight wouldn't be the night and she didn't care. The night was just around the corner she knew it, "Maybe that note was for me, since I'm the one who always forgets."

"So long as we've established that," he whispered and palmed her breast softly, "Tell me the rest."

"No… I want to take you to the bedroom."

He locked his other break, "We're not going anywhere until you tell me," he challenged with a grin and kissed her nipple through her shirt, "I want to know."

She licked her lips, rolled her eyes and laughed in embarrassment, "I have to fight with myself not come as soon as you press up against me."

"Really!" he said genuinely shocked, "Now _that_ is an ego stroke."

She smiled, "And when you push into me… my thinking is over. My mind doesn't work. It's all feeling and imagination."

"Imagination?"

She grinned, "Sometimes… I can't see you. Maybe you're making love to me from behind or you ask me to keep my eyes closed, so… I imagine what we look like." His mouth fell open, he made no attempt to close it as she chuckled and ran her finger along his lip, "You weren't expecting that?" He nodded, his mouth dry, his hips, for the first time moving at their own will as a weak thrust was delivered against her. "There is one thing that you've only done maybe once or twice but I swear it's the most erotic thing I've ever felt and-"

"What? Tell me, now."

She laughed at his eagerness and kept her balance as she unbuttoned her pants and her hand disappeared into her panties. He watched in complete shock, his body doing things it hasn't done in months, his chest moving faster as she held her now moist index finger to his lips and he knew exactly what she was talking about. He took her finger into his mouth and sucked softly. She rested her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes and moaned, her hips sliding against him before she had to pull away, "You'll make me come," she whispered shyly and lowered her lips to his kissing him and groaning as she tasted her self on his lips and tongue. She pulled back, "Not a good idea, either."

He starred at her like a Forrest Gump look alike, seeing breasts for the first time, "This has got to be the ultimate in foreplay."

She laughed against his neck and shook her head, "It's uh… pretty intense."

"Does it bother you?" he asked softly and pulled her back.

"Bother me?"

"That I can't give you more."

She shook her head, "I told you… it's not about that… and besides, I almost ran another driver off the road because you were apparently giving me _too much_."

He chuckled, "Not what I meant. I mean… if it's too much… yo-"

"It's not," she assured him and kissed him again, "if this is what you need… I'm game. Besides, uh… you always make sure I'm the one benefiting," she traced his hair, surprised that he hadn't' asked for a cut since she gave him one in the hospital, "I think I should be asking you if these sessions frustrate you."

He smiled, "At first, it was depressing but.. uh, it's a real turn on to see you come. It's fun to fool around with you… I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to make love to you the natural way, like we always have, but I made you a deal and if nothing happens by November, we'll try a different route but, I feel like it's getting better."

She grinned stroked him gently, "Definitely getting better… I have a question."

"You haven't finished answering me… I want to know everything."

She kissed his forehead, let her lips linger, "It starts out slow. Maybe, just a simply want to be with you to feel you and sometimes it builds fast, sometimes slow, but it always builds," she said and kissed his temple. "I'm not sure why, but it's always hot on my thighs first, other people I've talked to… it doesn't start that way-"

"You've talked about this to other people?" he asked, clearly intrigued.

"Elliot… women talk about all sorts of things… like," she positioned herself closer to him and rest her lips next to his ear, "how, the minute I feel your chest against mine, my nipples get hard and the instant your abs hit mine, my stomach jumps-"

"I know," he grinned. "I thought you were ticklish."

"No… it just happens," she whispered. "I know I'm close when everything hits me right here," she said and ran her finger between her belly button and waist band, "It's the most curious sensation, like my stomach is churning but instead of getting sick, I get hot, my temperature rises so fast and I have to control my breathing or I'll come."

"It's got to be great to make love to me."

Her mouth went slack in shock, "You are cocky."

He pressed her body into him, "That's the goal… tell me."

"Stop interrupting me," she grinned and kissed him. "Um… sometimes I can slow it down if I clench my muscles but I have to be careful because you enjoy that too much," she smiled and pulled his shirt up to his chest kissing his flesh softly, "But normally," she whispered, "I get hot and it's usually when you push into me that I come. Sometimes when you're pulling out too, but usually it's when you push in. It's more intense when I keep my legs straight… my toes will curl," she chuckled when he started to and then she nuzzled his nose again, "But I love it when you hold me and I wrap my legs around you and you let me come in your arms… that is the most intense feeling and it takes me awhile to come down from it because you keep moving as I'm coming… it's crazy."

He narrows his eyes at her in complete want and she feels his fingertips dig into her hips, "All of that happens to you?"

She smiled softly and kissed his lips, "Yeah… pretty crazy, huh?"

He nodded softly and kneaded the flesh of her bottom, "I want to make you go through all of that, tonight."

She traced his hairline with her fingertip, "When the time is right, Elliot. You and I will make love and it'll be just like it always was and probably even better be-"

"No," he shook his head, "No, I know I can't make love to you tonight, but… I picked something up and-"

Like the speed of light she reached over his shoulder and grabbed for his bag, "Is that what Robert put in your bag?"

"Don't!" he said and tried to pull her away but she'd already managed to unzip his back pack and pull out a small black bag. "Liv," he snatched it from her and held it tight to his body.

She furrowed her brow, "What? What's in that bag?" she asked with a smirk and slowly made him release it.

"I wanted to talk to you about it first-"

"Why?" she asked, standing to her feet with the bag and sitting on the edge of the bed, "What is it? Tell me or I'm opening it."

"Liv!" he ground out, "give it back!"

She laughed and simply lay down on the bed, the bag out of his reach. She heard him groan in frustration and slowly start to stand. She opened the bag quickly, at least to get a peek before he managed to get it from her. She'd let him. She just wanted him to get himself on the bed. Over her. But, when she pulled the long slender box out of the bag she looked up at him in confusion and shock as he stood nervously looking down at her, "Um… uh," she licked her lips in nervousness, "what exactly did you mean when you said _experiment_ and you almost made me drop Hannah?"

"Liv… forget it, it's no-"

"Tell me," she said void of anger. Curiosity filling her, "Why'd you buy a vibrator, and… please tell me you didn't buy it in front of Robert," she groaned.

He exhaled, "Liv, I'm sorry, I know you said you wouldn't want to, but I thought maybe you'd like to now, since I can't… uh-"

"Hey," she smiled softly, not wanting him to think about what he couldn't do, "Why don't you come closer to me and we'll talk about this."

He smiled tight and took a careful step to the side to lay next to her, she lined her body up with his, "No… just… come to me. It's okay. If you fall you fall on me," she smiled, "Come to me," she encouraged him and adjusted her legs so he could rest between her thighs. She bit back a moan the instant he very carefully lowered himself and nestled comfortably in what he considered to be home, "Hi," she smiled and cupped his face as he hovered over her, "good to see you like this again."

He smiled softly, "Not sure how long I can do this."

She looked at the box and crinkled her nose, "I don't want… anything other than you, Elliot. You know that," she whispered, "you're all I want."

"I can't give you me… not right now," he said softly, "But… I want you to still be satisfied, I don't want someone else to come along an-"

"Hey," she framed his face and reminded him again, "No other man in my heart. No other man in my bed. I just… it's- it doesn't seem right to me, I'd rather wait for you."

"You might be waiting awhile… if you've never tried it… maybe… maybe now would be a good time?"

She exhaled, looked at the box again, "And to top it off you got it in pink… nice," she smirked and looked back at him, "Are you tired?" she asked and squeezed his shaking arms, "go ahead and lay down… I'll be right back."

He furrowed his brows and gently lowered himself to the side, "Where ya goin' Liv?"

She stood and smirked at him as she held up the box, "Batteries not included, El… get naked, I'll be right back."

"Naked huh?"

She smiled, "Yeah, we need to come to a compromise."

He started to tug his shorts off, "Nope, I just need you to come."

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"Let's start."

"Hold on there, Speedy Gonzales," Olivia smiled, "I want you rested."

He smiled, "What are you trying to do to me, Liv?"

"Just relax a little bit… I wanted to ask you something."

"About?"

"Well… have you thought about what you wanted, when you and I are able to make love again?'

"Uh… you," he said as if that weren't completely obvious to her.

She laughed, cupped his cheek and kissed him, "I know that… but what else? I want to know, so I can give it to you. I want to know what you've thought about," she whispered and trailed her hand down his abdomen, "Do you want me to cut your hair? Shave you?" she whispered and grazed his belly button, "do you want to be home? Away? Kama Sutra? What?"

He swallowed and raised his brows, groaned as she stroked his length, "I uh… I want to be away from the house. Just me and you… maybe a nice hotel or something."

"Yeah?" she smiled seeing his facial expression change, "What else?" she whispered and slowly started to unbutton her shirt, his eyes darting immediately to her breast.

"Um," he licked his lips, his blue eyes wide with want as she covered his hand with hers and brought it to her cloth covered breast. He swallowed, ran his thumb over her nipple, "I uh… whatever," he said and tried to kiss her.

She smiled, pulled away, "Tell me… I want to know."

He grinned. Payback. "I just want you Liv… I want you to myself. I love the kids, but I don't want them within a mile of us and I want to make you scream my name, and I want to feel your nails dig into me and I want to feel your muscles grab me… I want you."

She grinned, and slowly shimmied out of her pants, her panties discarded wherever they chose to land, "If I'm using that thing," she said pointing to the vibrator, "then you are too."

He furrowed his brow, "Liv… that's gross."

She laughed, pulled her shirt off, "Not what I meant, but now that you mention it… more and more guys are turned on by that, I've read."

"This is not helping my erection. At. All."

She grinned, "Maybe this will," she whispered and unclasped her bra letting her breast be on display for him, "Better?"

He beamed, "So much."

She lowered herself to him and kissed his mouth, he pressed her hips closer to him and she moaned and whimpered against his before pulling back, "Elliot… unless you want to end this right now… let me get my thoughts in order before you do that."

"I'm not even completely erect Liv… geeze you're easy."

Her eyes went wide and she was just about to protest when he carefully rolled them both over so she was under him, "Like I said, not sure how long I can do this… maybe you should tell me your compromise."

She smiled reached for the vibrator, "Mutual pleasure."

He furrowed his brow in confusion, watched as she turned it on and it disappeared between their bodies. He sucked in a high pitched voice as soon as it collided gently with his struggling erection, "Liv… warning."

"No," she smiled, "no warnings… just feel, enjoy it."

He groaned as his hips took on a life of their own, rubbing into her and this piece of equipment that he had to talk himself into buying as Robert waited for him in the car. His length grazed both machine and flesh and his hand instantly flew between them grabbing hers and holding her hands on either side of her head as he kissed her and continued to thrust against her, pushing aside the ache in his body for the pleasure she was giving him, "Liv… good."

She arched back and gasped, he'd grabbed her hand so quickly that their 'toy' had moved between them and rested right on her center, the multiple pleasure of vibration and lover quickly sending her out of control. Her legs instantly wrapped around his waist, "Okay?" she muttered trying in vein to get her body settled.

"Uh huh," he groaned and surprised her when he rocked his hips back and tried to enter her, only to realize his erection wasn't as strong as it had felt.

She felt him tense, felt his erection start to weaken and she quickly pulled him tighter, "Look at me," she panted and licked her lips, the sweat forming around her lip, "Look at me," she encouraged, "think of me… it's me. You and I made love in the dressing room and you were so amazing," she whispered, "you had me in the crib and I thought I was going to die from too much pleasure… it's okay. You don't have to, tonight," she assured him and reached between them to adjust the device so it rested directly against him.

He tossed his head back, sucked in breath and dropped his head forward, his forearms catching his weight as she pulled him closer, forced his body to accept the sensation that both of them felt until, to both of their surprise, he'd come. Maybe it was the fact that he was laboring over her trying to please her, maybe it was running her hands along his sweaty body, maybe it was the vibrator hitting her just right, what ever it was, she locked her legs around him, her arms pulling his body closer and she groaned through her own orgasm.

He panted in her ear and the very sound of his orgasm was making another build inside of her. He kissed her cheek and looked down at her, his body shaking almost violently from their encounter and his tired muscles, "I'm sorry."

Not what she expected. "What?"

He tried to move quickly, "Lemme go."

"No," she told him and held him tightly, "No… what happened?"

"I'm sorry, Olivia?" he shook his head and struggled to get free from her, even more embarrassed that he wasn't strong enough. She released her arms but not her legs, he went to move and she finally understood what he was embarrassed for, his orgasm wasn't earth shattering, in fact, it was more like a teenager making out with his girlfriend and coming in his pants, only his release coated her belly and she didn't care. She pulled him back to her, wrapped her arms around him, "I'm sorry, Oli-"

"Don't be," she whispered and stroked his back, "I thought you'd be happy… now we know, you can and everything is… working so to speak."

"I wanted… to be inside of you, I wanted you to feel me," he whispered and finally had no other choice but to relax his body against hers before it cramped up.

She accepted his weight without complaint, "I'm not sorry," she said and ran her nails gently along his flesh, "I'm glad you could and I'm not bothered with what happened. I'm not."

"It… I couldn't control it-"

"I know… but it's only getting better, right?" she smiled and held his face back to look at her, "I bet you you'll be sacking me in no time," she teased him playfully.

He smiled softly, rested his forehead against her chin and exhaled slowly over her neck, "I think so."

She grinned, "I know so… but uh… this vibrator thing-"

"Not liking it?"

"No."

He smiled, "It did the job though, huh?"

She laughed, "Yeah, but you always do it better."

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It was the piercing scream that cut into the night and sent Olivia jolting up in the bed, "Sam?" she rubbed her eyes and heard another scream as he ran down the hall. His strides harder to detect against the carpet until he reached their door that was closed. He ignored the rule of having to knock as Elliot struggled to get his boxers over his hips.

Sam crashed into the door yelling frantically for help until the knob opened and Olivia pulled him instantly into her arms, "What?" she said softly and let her hands roam his body feeling for injury, for wetness, or anything else, but coming up with only a shaking body.

"Dad!" Sam sobbed into Olivia's neck and shook against her.

"He's here," she said softly as Elliot finally had himself situated and was turning the light on.

"He's dead, mom… he left us," Sam cried, "he left us 'cause the man took him from me. He stole him from my heart."

"No," Olivia said softly and kissed his temple, "come here," she said and led him to their bed, "jump in," she said and helped his shaking body into the bed. His hand grazed Elliot's arm and he instantly nestled as close as his small body could against his father. Olivia slid in next to Sam and gently rubbed his back as Elliot kissed him soflty on the head.

"Bad dream?" Elliot whispered as he held his son, "I have those too. A lot now."

Sam nodded, "It was the man dad… it's always the man, every night it's him. He doesn't leave us alone, dad. Can you make him leave me alone?"

"I can love him right out of your dreams, but… just like with Mr. Wilson… it'll take time."

"You have bad dreams too, now?"

"I do."

Olivia furrowed her brows, exhaled softly and moved to give them their privacy until Elliot pulled her wrist and kept her close. He kissed Sam's head again, "You're such a big boy now."

He smiled against his dad's chest, "I'm ten now."

"I know," Elliot chuckled softly, "And I'm way older than that… and I still have bad dreams. Dreams about monsters and even spiders."

"Spiders?"

"Yeah," he said softly, "But the ones that scare me so much… are the ones where the man comes after us… those scare me too, Sam."

"What do you do? How do you get him out of here?" he asked and tapped his father's head, "How? Tell me, 'cause I don't like him in my head."

Elliot covered Olivia's hand with his and brought it to Sam's back rubbing his back with his mother's hand, "You're mother has really amazing hands."

"And lips," Sam smiled, "She kisses me when I hurt and it doesn't hurt so much."

Elliot exhaled, stared ahead and continued with his hands over Olivia's who was listening intently as Elliot began to let tears fall. Since they adopted Samuel as their own, she'd wanted Elliot and him to bond, she loved that they were but she hated the circumstance that forged their relationship, she exhaled, scooted closer to her men and wrapped her arms around both.

"She does what she's doing now," Elliot sniffled. "I wake up… and I'm shaking, because I'm so scared-"

"I get super scared like that too, dad."

"Well," Elliot rested his chin on Sam's head, letting his tear mesh with his hair, "I'm so scared sometimes that… I yell for your mom even before I wake up-"

"What happens?" Sam whispered in awe of his father's confession.

"I wake up and she's already there… her arms are around me, just like they are now and sometimes she sings a song for me until I go back to sleep-"

"She sings for me every night," Sam smiled, "I like it."

Olivia smiled softly and nestled her head next to Elliot's who continued soothing Sam, "So do I," Elliot smiled sadly, "Sometimes, I'm super sore and my body hurts so much and she rubs my legs for me and makes it better."

Sam exhaled, "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still a strong Man, even though you need Mom? Am I still a strong man because I need her and you?"

For the first time since Sam had come into their room Elliot's eyes met Olivia's and silently asked if he was.

"He absolutely is," Olivia whispered and kissed Sam's temple, "because being a strong man means knowing when to accept someone's help and love. Your father is a strong man, Sam and so are you."

"But how do I know?"

"Because," Elliot whispered hoarsely trying to keep his sobs at bay from Olivia's explanation, "You have my name."

Sam pulled back, his mouth fell agape, "What?"

Olivia smiled softly, "We got the paperwork that we filled out for you. We got your new cards and everything."

Sam smiled, rested his head on Elliot's chest and reached out for his mother who laced her larger hand with his smaller one, "I got a strong name?"

Elliot smiled softly, kissed his head, "Samuel Elliot Wilson Stabler… it's pretty strong if you ask me."

Sam pulled back and shook his head, "NO! I don't want to be Wilson."

"Son," Olivia whispered and rubbed his back, bringing him back between them both as she rubbed his belly softly, "Don't be ashamed of where you come from."

"But I'll hurt so-"

"No you wont," she told him with a firm squeeze, "You wont."

"But-"

"No but's… do you remember what I told you about my mother?"

"She was sometimes bad to you… I remember," he said softly.

"I had her name before I married your father and you know what?"

"What?"

"Isaac has that same name… Isaac Reagan Benson Stabler… you said he wanted four names too."

Sam furrowed his brows, "It won't make him bad?"

Elliot smiled, "No… names make us strong, they tell people who we are, but they absolutely do not mean that we have to be bad. That's your choice to make."

"I won't be bad!" he said quickly, "I wont," he promised, "'Cause I'm Samuel Elliot before I'm Wilson."

Elliot grinned at his logic, "See there… you're perfect. I've given you my name… I'm trusting you with it."

"Trusting me?"

"I'm trusting that you'll live a life that is good so that people hear your name they think of kind things and a helping heart… can you do that for me?"

Sam grinned, "Yeah! Yeah, I can do that… mom says I got the biggest heart on the planet!"

She chuckled, "That's because you do," she whispered, "Do you want to sleep with us?"

He beamed, shook his head and slipped out of the bed, "No, no. I'm strong. Does Isaac know he's Benson?"

Olivia chuckled, "He's two baby… he thinks his name is, 'time out'."

Sam furrowed his brows, "Huh?"

"Nothing," Elliot laughed, "when he wakes up… tell him," he said and smiled. "I think Moses is crying for you."

Sam grinned, "I'm strong?"

"Absolutely," Olivia smiled, "We love you."

"I love you!" he beamed and quickly left to his room. To his brother, to his puppy.

Olivia exhaled, cuddled as close to Elliot as she could, "I love you."

He stroked her back, "I love you too."

"Think he'll go back to bed?"

"Yeah… who knew someone could be so concerned with a name."

She kissed his chest, "I'm concerned with Isaac's… I don't like Benson being in it. I didn't want out kids associated with it."

He ran his hand through her hair, "Liv… we talked about it. Benson is an awesome sounding name for a boy. He's mischievous, he's totally fearless and he's got your rebellious streak… the boy is completely Benson."

She looked at him sharply, "I don't want him to be."

"Olivia," he smiled and cupped her cheek, "You are an amazing woman and you bore that name for… you're what? Fiftyfive-"

She arched her brow, "Funny."

He smiled, "You're amazing… our boys are amazing… relax. He's gonna be fine. He knows nothing about your mom or your dad, he's a clean slate, Liv… it's up to us to nurture him into something spectacular."

She groaned, "You've been hanging around Carp too much."

He grinned, kissed her lips, "Will you just sleep with me tonight? I'm so exhausted."

She smiled, waggled her brows, "Did I wear you out?"

"Yeah ya did," he chuckled and wrapped her tightly in his arms, "I love you."

She kissed his shoulder and smiled softly, "I love you too… did you mean what you told Sam?"

"Every word."

"I didn't know you're still scared… is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Can you tell the mail man to hand deliver the mail?" he chuckled.

She exhaled, kissed his cheek, "Starting tomorrow… you're checking the mail box… we've got to get you over this, Elliot, and I'll be with you the whole time."

"I don't like to go anywhere near the fence," he confessed, "I see it… and… I dunno-"

She swallowed softly, "I'll be your anchor… I'll be whatever you need, just tell me… I'll get you through."

"I just… I… want to be free of this… I don't want to confess to my boys that I'm scared or weak. I want them to feel like I'll keep them safe."

"Sam does… he came immediately to us… to you. He trusts your strength. Did you see that cheese ball grin when you told him he was Samuel Elliot?"

"I did," Eliot smiled softy, "Amazing."

She moved her head, smiled up at him, "You're amazing."

"No, I'm not," he chuckled, "I've got you… that's what makes people think I'm amazing. You keep me standing, you keep me alive."

"I'm selfish."

"Huh?"

"I keep you alive, because I won't be able to live without you."

He pushed her hair behind her ear, "I'm not going anywhere."

"El?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe me… when I say I won't leave you?"

"Should I not?"

She furrowed her brows in thought, "I know that when… well after we lost Isaac-"

"It's forgotten."

"El-"

"It's forgotten," he said firmer, "stop thinking about it."

"I'd never _want_ to leave you."

"I know, and I knew that when you came to me with your wedding ring. I knew you didn't _want_ to leave, but I knew you would if it meant I'd get better… that got my attention, let me know I needed to get my act together, let me know that… you were hurting and just as lost as I was."

She exhaled, "Sometimes… I don't feel like… I'm a good wife, I don't."

"Yet you are."

"I've walked away from you when you needed me most-"

"Always to save me… I do see that now, Liv. I do. I think I just… was so blinded. It was easier to be upset than to offer forgiveness or to admit that I was wrong by drinking-"

"I feel like a hypocrite for my own drinking… I'm sorry."

He chuckled, "You've got to forget about it Liv… besides, it was hilarious to see you with a hangover. Casey told me all sort of things, like you can't count or keep a room still… and boy do I wish I was there to help you look for that peanut."

She laughed and swatted him playfully, "Hangovers are the most miserable feeling, I don't see how people do it day after day."

He exhaled, kissed her softly on the head, "Maybe they realize they don't have someone as amazing as you."

She kissed his chest softly, "I'm the one with someone amazing."


	52. Chapter 52 Welcoming

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 52: Welcoming

A/N: This chapter was way to long to make it into one, so all of you that didn't want it to end in two chapters…. It has one more.

Olivia watched Elliot as he sat outside in his wheelchair on the back deck. The day had been bitter to them both. Ruthless to him. They had scheduled a doctor's appointment as soon as they could be seen after Elliot had blessed Olivia with the knowledge that she could still make him orgasm. She would never confess it to him but, the fact that he might not be able to, had concerned her, worried her and made her feel guilty as if she no longer had the power to excite him. But, that night had changed everything for them and it had relieved her of a weight she would tell no one she carried. Not even Vivian had the privilege of hearing that confession.

However, the doctor's diagnosis had surprised them. Elliot's wrath remained in check only by the promise he made of not fighting with her but, he did withdraw. His manhood put into question only hours before he wheeled himself out to the deck and sat alone. The September night had to be cool against his skin but he hadn't moved since they'd gotten home. He hadn't made his nightly rounds that he'd grown accustomed to doing with the kids. Watching Sam work on his form for a belt test he was anxiously awaiting with his mother, a game of chess would have been next. He made no offering to feed Hannah or Solomon and neglected his sock puppet routine with Isaac.

He hadn't spoken a word to her since they left the doctor's office, she'd tried to lighten the mood with banter but he had checked out mentally just as soon as the doctor gave him the unfortunate news. Really, Olivia didn't understand Elliot's concern, she was happy the way things were and they were in no predicament for immediate change but, the situation had crushed him, there was no question about it.

She took a deep breath, decided he had to be freezing in his tee and shorts; she opened the sliding door and closed it save a crack to hear for any waking children. Still willing to give him his time for silence she simply squatted behind him and pulled the small throw blanket out of the back pack and draped it over his body. He didn't move. She cupped his cheek, kissed the corner of his mouth, "I love you," she whispered and turned to leave.

He grabbed her hand softly, moved the blanket and pulled her to his lap before wrapping it around her and placing his fingertips at her navel just under her shirt. Her belly jumped at the chill of his hands but she remained quiet opting to let him start the conversation.

It only took him twenty minutes to do it. She smiled softly when she heard his voice, "Why do you spend so much time at the library?" Well, that wasn't exactly what she wanted to talk about but she'd let him go at his own pace, if it meant not fighting.

"Our computer took a dump on us, remember?" she smiled softly, "I have to type my notes from class or I can't read my own writing the next day."

"Oh."

She pulled back softly, "Are you upset I took a night class this semester? Are you upset I have so many classes? I'm just trying to get it over and done with-"

"I'm not mad… although I don't like that night class. The kids don't like going to bed without your kiss. I don't either." He said softly and exhaled with furrowed brows, "You should buy a laptop so you can just take notes in class and you can be home more."

She wiped the moisture from his eye as he continued to stare blankly forward at nothing, "We can't afford it. I just paid Carp back… with some interest. He didn't ask for it, but I thought it was fair."

"We have money," he whispered as another tear fell, "why do you make such a tight budget?"

She exhaled. He was gonna pick a fight about money when that wasn't what was bothering him at all. She kissed him softly on the cheek, "We don't know how long we're gonna be like this Elliot. It's for the best. We can't live according to two incomes right now… we're doing well. The kids still get their activities in and I-"

"Have holes in your jeans," he swallowed and sill refused to look at her, "I saw it. You've got holes in the knees of your jeans… buy new ones."

"Not until they are completely un-wearable, besides ripped jeans are coming back in… I try to keep the kids out of the financial loop and if that means me wearing a hole in my jeans so Sam can have a nice shirt for school… I'm fine with that."

"How much did you get from the apartment-"

"Elliot… this isn't really what you want to talk ab-"

"How much?" he asked again, still starring as his eyes turned a brighter red.

She exhaled, "Triple what was paid for it… the market has been kind to us."

"Rent from the tenants?"

"Still the same."

"We still have stock?"

"We do… its doing well. Elliot, we're by no means broke, but if we don't live within what were making right now, then we're gonna be. We've got two in pampers and on formula and baby food… that's expensive. Elliot… we've got to be careful."

"Buy jeans."

She tilted his face to look at her, "I'm fine," she whispered, "But… I'm worried about you-"

"I have everything I need," he said.

"You know what I'm talking about Elliot. Talk to me. Come on, we've been going to Vivian's and," she smiled broadly, "we've been making out like two horny teenagers… come on, talk. Don't take steps backwards. We're ten steps forward… I don't want to go backwards anymore."

He exhaled, shook his head, "I don't want to talk about it."

She cupped the back of his head, kissed his forehead, "I do. Will you talk to me? For me?"

His sob surprised her. He pulled her close and buried his face into her breast. She kissed the crown of his head and stroked his long hair. "You can't think of it like that Elliot," she whispered, "think of it as… less responsibility," she smiled softly. "I hated those patches anyway, they hurt like crazy trying to get them off and I dunno… I was worried I'd forget to change it, and hey, now we don't have to buy condoms or-"

He pulled her tighter and shook his head "I wanted to have more babies with you."

She exhaled, "Elliot," she whispered and pulled back to frame his face as she sat on his lap, "You've given me three precious gifts, and we have a forth that we both love like we created him ourselves… I'm good with that, and if we're in a position to have more kids… there's always adoption. You know the blessings we've had with Sam. We can still have more kids-"

"I'm shootin' blanks according to the doc…. I wanted to see you pregnant again," he exhaled. "I wanted to know that I did that to you… I wanted you barefoot and pregnant until you hit menopause," he smiled sadly.

She arched her brows and chuckled, "Elliot… we're not in a position, financially, to have more, but when the times right… there are other option-"

"I don't want other options!" he hissed in anger, "I want the one that White took from me!"

She swallowed her own emotion, caressed his bearded cheek and kissed the crown of his head softly, "I know you do. I do, too. But… we've got to play our cards and just because we don't have a good hand… it doesn't mean we still can't win."

Elliot shook his head and finally looked up at her. Shattered. "I felt like… like… I was so much less than me when you told me about the nails and what they did to me, but now… now I'm nothing."

"You're right," she agreed as her own tears fell and his chin began to quiver. She held his face firmly in her palms, "You're nothing less than an incredible man, an amazing lover and my best friend. Get that through your head, huh?" she smiled softly and kissed his lips, "Or I'll spend every single night, beating it into your head."

He sniffled and exhaled, suddenly pulling her down to him and kissing her. She tasted the frustration on his lips, the bitterness towards life with the stoke of his tongue but in spite of it all, somewhere below all of that, she tasted his overwhelming anguish and she new that no stroke of her tongue, no caress of her lips or touch of her fingertips could relieve it.

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"Why isn't mom with us?" Sam asked as Elliot held tightly to Isaac on his lap who, since his last deep diving adventure had been fitted with a tiny life vest any time he was near the pool.

Elliot chuckled, "School."

"Why does she have to go to school?" Sam asked as he pushed the twin stroller along side of his father's chair. Olivia wasn't joking about it being a nightmare to push but she'd told Elliot when she dropped them off that, since the babies were learning to stand and walk the only way she was letting him take them to the pool was if they were strapped in. He agreed and was excited to be out on the town, so to speak, with his kids. It'd been a week since his doctor told him his sperm count was likely too low to reproduce and it didn't look as if that aspect of his love life would improve. Olivia tried to come onto him, to keep his mind in the game but he wanted nothing to do with it.

She however; wanted everything to do with him and would keep trying everything to get him to bounce back, even if it meant stressing herself out and letting Elliot take the kids out by himself while she was at school. Actually, stressful was a dubious understatement. Somewhere between her economics class and her financing class, she was so burdened with worry for them she had to make a pit stop and vomit in what was a less than clean restroom. Deciding Elliot could handle them, she opted not to call and make him feel as if couldn't. She'd taken care of every precaution she could before dropping them off at the gym. Olivia had made sure they had cab fare if, for some reason, he wanted or needed to go home early. They had lunches packed and ice cream money shoved deep in Elliot's pocket.

"Dad? I asked a question," Sam said again.

Elliot smiled, "She wants to finish her degree and get a better job so we don't have to pay attention to the budget so much."

"Does that mean she doesn't have to have holes in her socks?"

Elliot stopped wheeling the chair, letting Isaac down and encouraging him to jump into the pool. Ricky had been kind enough to put up a lane boundary in the shallow end of the pool and checked up on Elliot and the kids frequently. Isaac promptly jumped in and laughed as the life vest did its job and kept Isaac afloat, kept Elliot's heart beat stable. "Holes in her socks?" he finally asked, "How do you know that?"

"Cause that was one of my chores yesterday… to fold laundry and I know that her socks are different from your's." he ran his hand through his hair, "Mom's had holes in them. I think that's why her feet were hurting her. She said she got a big blister right on the back. I know it really hurts when your shoes give you blisters."

Elliot furrowed his brow and nodded, "Sam… we're working on overtaking today… remember what that is?"

"Passing another swimmer very quickly."

"Exactly, so… I'll give you sound of the whistle, but you have to remember that I can't do that for you in a race… you've got to know."

"Okay," Sam nodded and quickly shed his warm up suit and stood in black Speedo's, "Mom bought me these so I don't have to wear the same thing every day."

Elliot grinned. _No, she bought them for you because I pleaded for something manly_, "She's very good to you… let's go really fast today, we're gonna go to the bank and then come back… sound good?"

Sam tilted his head, "Why? That's not on the list of places mom told me, and she'll worry if she comes to pick us up and we're not where we're supposed to be."

Elliot grinned, "Well… if you'd jump in the pool and start your practice we can get to the bank and be back to finish the rest…. Let's go my boy. Time is a wasting."

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"Hey guys," Olivia smiled and furrowed her brows, "how come you're not in the pool?"

"We had to go to the-"

"Book store," Elliot interjected, "I was looking something up, then we stopped at a few stores-"

Olivia raised her brow, "A few stores? With all of the kids?"

Elliot smirked, "I got skills."

She furrowed her brows, "You got skills, but you only had forty bucks on you… what gives?"

Elliot laughed, "You and money. I swear, it's somewhere between anal and comical."

"Elliot-"

"Hey," Elliot smiled and locked his brakes as Sam jumped in the pool, "I've got to work on overtaking, we're working on him listening for my voice.. shhh." He smirked.

She narrowed her eyes playfully and smiled at Isaac who lay curled up on a towel, exhausted and dead asleep as Hannah and Solomon relaxed in their stroller. Safe. He'd managed with all four of them, at the pool, at stores and where ever else he went traipsing. "When Ricky asks… give him the car keys please," Elliot said as he focused on Sam who was swimming towards him, "Faster!" Elliot encouraged him, keeping a close eye on the stop watch as Ricky came in and Olivia gave him a warm hug, a small conversation shared until she gave up car keys as instructed. She watched as Sam flipped at the sound of the whistle and she grinned to herself that Elliot was willing to do this. Not just willing, but _wanting_ to devise a way where Sam could compete on the same level as the other kids.

Several minutes later, when Ricky had returned groaning about all the crap he'd asked to be put in the car, to which Olivia raised a brow in confusion. Elliot simply silenced them and focused on Sam who surfaced and held onto the wall, "I can't hear what you're telling me, dad. I counted wrong it's not working."

Elliot pursed his lips, "Okay. I'll speak louder, one more time… on the podium, huh?"

Sam grinned and pulled himself out of the pool, making his way to the removable podium that Ricky had been kind enough to show them how to maneuver when they needed it. Elliot looked over his shoulder to see Olivia having a pretty serious conversation with Ricky. He wondered what was being said, but from her constant gnawing of her bottom lip and tilt of her head and her puff of air that sent her bangs flying Elliot knew something was up, "Liv.. check it out!" he told her and pointed to Sam and blew his whistle.

Sam dove perfectly, hands extended, toes pointed, he took his necessary lengths under the water before surfacing and stroking with amazing confidence. Elliot waited until the exact spot he'd been blowing the whistle to swim faster in order to catch another swimmer, only this time he cupped his hands around his mouth to make his voice louder, "NOW SAM!"

Olivia was watching with great expectation to see Sam sprint, Elliot watching in excitement to see his son rocket through the water like he'd done only a few minutes prior. However; neither expected Sam to suddenly stop swimming. His legs straighten to help him stand only to forget he was at the deep part of the pool. He sunk, took in a breath of water and immediately surfaced, frantically flailing his arms until he reached the side of the pool, his father's arm already extended.

Elliot grabbed him quickly and pulled him into his lap, "What happened?"

Sam coughed, sputtered out more water and slipped off of Elliot's lap as he yanked his cap off, throwing it, with all the anger and frustration he could. He growled running his hands forward and back through his wet hair and walked to the locker room.

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"You not talking baby?" Olivia asked looking into the review mirror.

Sam remained silent and simply slid his earphones on.

"El," she exhaled, "this has got to stop. He keeps shutting down and I don't know why."

"Want to call Mags?"

She slapped the steering wheel in frustration as they waited at the light, "Why!" she hissed, "he won't talk with her. He hasn't said a word to her since this whole thing happened. He was doing so well with her, I really thought it was gonna work out and he was gonna get better."

Elliot exhaled, licked his lips, "I think this is my fault."

"What?" she furrowed her brows and accelerated, "Elliot… it's not. You've got to stop blaming yourself. He's scared and he's confused, but… it's neither of our faults. He's _choosing_ to be quiet. We've assured him and we've proven to him that we're not going to spank him and that he won't be punished if he talks to us." She groaned in frustration, "I just want him to talk to us again. That's all."

She made the last turn, putting them on the country road that led them home, "What were you and Ricky talking about?" Elliot asked for a change of subject.

"Nothing."

"Looked important."

"Why won't you let me see what's in the back of the car?" she smirked.

"Cause you're gonna have a heart attack."

"Yeah?" she exhaled turning the blinker on, "well, when I tell you what we were talking about you are too."

He smiled at her as she pulled into their driveway. He cringed as the gate opened. She put the car in park, "You do that every time we pull up," she said softly, "why?"

He shook his head, looked out side his window and squinted his eyes against the sun, "Who changed the control box?"

"I… uh, had an installer come out and do it."

"Why?"

"It was installed too close to the fence line-"

"That's how he got to us wasn't it?" Elliot whispered.

She exhaled, her head against the back of the seat as she looked at him. She reached out, rested her hand on his thigh, "Yeah, El. It was."

"That's why you changed the spacing on that section of the fence?"

"Yeah, Frankie welded some rods in between the others, just had to pay for materials" she said softly. "I didn't realize you could just reach through the fence like that. Bad set up."

Elliot nodded, "Yeah… I picked that fence. I thought it was the safest."

She gave him a gentle squeeze, "Don't do this. We _both_ thought it was the best option… we didn't see that as being a problem," she assured him, "we didn't see it Elliot. It's not our fault. It's his and his alone. Just like you told me. _It's his fault_, Elliot. Not ours."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"ISAAC!" Elliot groaned and laughed as the toddler belly flopped himself on his fathers torso, "you fat little boy!" Elliot chuckled and rolled on the floor with his son, glad to be out of the chair and playing with his boy who seemed to be all giggles.

Elliot tucked him under his body and raised his shirt blowing raspberries and sending Isaac into uncontrollable laughter, "You'll make him wet himself," Olivia laughed from the couch as she laid stretched out with Hannah on her chest wide awake and pointing to her father and brother as they played.

"Want to play with them?" Olivia asked and sat up to place Hannah on her feet. Elliot grinned as Hannah's tiny body shook, a smile on his daughters face even as her knees buckled and she instantly fell to her bum and laughed before crawling to Elliot and climbing over to him, blowing against his cheek and producing her own sloppy raspberry. Elliot laughed as Isaac continued to bounce around, more careful with his little sister near by.

"Dada." Elliot stopped immediately and stared at his daughter who simply pointed back up at him, "Dada… Dada."

Elliot grinned up at Olivia who's smile almost matched his, only his exuded with pride that their little girl had finnaly said her first word and it was his name, "Yeah!" Elliot raised his hands over his head in victory, "I'm Dada!"

Olivia laughed at the group and although she thought she might feel a tinge of jealously that at least one of the babies had recognized them as their parents, she didn't. She was completely happy for Elliot and decided to stay put on the couch and let him bask in the laughter of their children.

"Liv! Did you hear it?" He grinned and picked Hannah up to sit on his chest, "she knows who I am."

"I heard!" Olivia pouted playfully, "I'm up at all hours of the night for months trying to get her to say mama, and she went turncoat on me!" Olivia smiled, "You two are so in love with eachother," she chuckled, "I'm happy for you Elliot."

He grinned up at her, "There's still Solomon… you never know Liv… he may just call you mama tonight."

"Dada," Hannah's brown eyes sparkled and for the first time, Olivia saw herself in her young daughter and surprisingly… she wasn't afraid of what she saw at all.

"She's showing off," Olivia smiled, "Or rubbing it in… either way, she's definitely your daughter," she laughed.

"Nana, talkies!" Isaac grinned, "I tell Sam Sam," he said and promptly pounced on his father again.

Olivia leaned her head back and smiled as Elliot maneuvered his children with his arms as if he'd never been injured. His legs were a different story, remaining straight, even as he rolled, but the fact of the matter was, Olivia was looking down at three smiling faces.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you going to bed?" Elliot asked as Olivia fought sleep, her nose buried in a book.

"I'd like to, but I need to finish this chapter, we need to talk to Sam. I need to get the lunches ready for tomorrow, put the clothes away, get your clothes out for you, go to th-"

"Liv," Elliot smiled and held out his hand, "hop on."

She furrowed her brows and smiled, "Elliot I'm so behind in my work and I have to write all of these notes and type them tomo-"

"If you'd hop a ride with the Stabler Cab Company I could help you out with a few things," he smirked and offered his hand again, "Come on lady," he chuckled, "I'll even turn the meter off."

She laughed and closed her text book, letting it crash to the sofa cushion before she sat on his lap and wrapped her arm around his neck, "You know… you'd better stop wheelin' me around, I'll get lazy and fat."

He grinned, "The added weight does wonders for my shoulders."

She looked up in shock and swatted him a little harder than usual but playfully just the same, "Hey," he smiled and turned into their office, "I'm handicapped for crying out loud."

She laughed and kissed him, "Yeah, but you're so cute."

He grinned, "Remember that for the next minute or so, huh?"

She arched her brow, her tone suddenly serious, "What did you do?"

He smiled, "I unloaded the car while you were napping."

"Uh huh… and?" she arched a suspicious brow.

He motioned to the desk behind her, her eyes went wide when she saw the laptop sitting on the desk, charging as if it had always been there, "Elliot," she stood slow, "we cannot afford that."

He exhaled and crossed his arms, "Olivia… I went to the bank today-"

"What?" she furrowed her brow and turned to face him, "Why? Did you run out of cash? I thought I gave you enough, wasn't it enough?"

He bit his bottom lip, he wasn't angry at her, but he certainly didn't like the fact that she'd rather wear shabby jeans than spend a few bucks, "Olivia… why didn't you tell me we've got that kind of money? I've never seen so many zeros."

Her face turned red and she quickly bowed her head, "I wasn't trying to keep it a secret. You know I prefer to save our money."

"And you know I hate generic peanut butter. Liv," he said softly and surprised her by standing and slowly closing the distance between them, "Honey," he whispered and pulled her close afraid his body may fail him, "you've got to stop this. Let yourself go a little bit Liv. This is added undue stress on you, to manage the money that tight… it's respectable and believe me when I tell you; you're every man's dream, but… I want you in good clothes, I want you eating good food and… Liv… I don't want holes in your socks."

"I don't hav-"

"Holes in your sock?" he arched his brow and pushed her back gently, "prove it."

"What?"

"Take your slipper off… I want to see your sock. "

"What?" she shook her head, "No. Stop being ridiculous."

He crossed his arms, "Take off the slipper Olivia."

She exhaled, maneuvered her toes quickly and slipped the slipper off, "There, see… no holes."

"Right… lift up your foot."

"No."

"Lift. It."

She groaned and lifted her foot revealing a large hole in her sock, "Satisfied?"

"Stop," he said softly and squeezed her tight, "Liv," his voice turned worried and compassionate, "Why the tight budget? The banker explained to me what you do… I'm surprised we make it off of so little."

She licked her lips, "We own the house," she shrugged and looked up at him, "We live off the interest that Munch's money accrues and… we don't charge anything so… it adds up after awhile."

"To a whole hell of a lot… Olivia," he shook his head, "I got you that laptop and some clothes, and it didn't even make a dent."

She exhaled, "I paid tuition this month so we're a little lower than we've been the past few months, but… yeah, I've made sure we could have made it if…"

"If?" he furrowed his bros and exhaled pulling her back into a hug, "oh, Liv…. I'm not leaving. I'm right here next to you… all this time…. All this time you've had a plan 'B'?"

Hesitantly, "Yes," she whispered in shame, "I just… uh… if we didn't work out. I had it to where I'd be able to get by with the kids, but then it turned into a 'if you didn't wake up' type of thing and… I really don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm sorry. I wasn't… trying to be …. Deceitful."

He exhaled and smiled, "I know… make me a promise?"

"What?" she asked and looked up at him.

"I don't like the fact that you have another bank account with a crap load of money in it, for a 'just in case we don't work out' scenario…. That's not blind faith."

She sniffled, "Elliot… when we had Isaac, I didn't look at it like that. I knew we'd stay together, even when we were apart."

"Then why the separate account? Did you think I'd never find out?" he asked and his body started to shake from being up too long.

She wrapped her arms around him and gently walked him backwards to his chair, "No," she said honestly, "I just… seriously, I'd forgotten all about it and it was building such good interest that I just let it sit."

"I want you to combine it, Liv… we're not separate, we're a team. Combine it. Close it out and deposit the money into our savings, or invest it like you do, or do whatever… but… don't keep it separate. I don't like that."

She nodded, "It's done. I'll do it tomorrow morning, first thing."

He smiled, "I'm not leaving or dieing. You're stuck with me."

She chuckled and wiped at her eyes, "El… we really can't afford the computer."

"Yes we can," he told her and squeezed her arm softly, "we can Liv… stop worrying about the money… my Captain came by last week."

"Last week? And you're telling me now? _This_ week? A week _later_?"

He looked at her and exhaled, "Uh… he uh…well, I retired."

"WHAT!" She shrieked back as if his words had scorched her, "What! Why didn't you say something!"

"He, uh… said it was for the betterment of the force," Elliot whispered and pushed himself to the desk, opening a drawer, "Cragen was all over this though… check it out," he told her and handed her a folder, "It's a pretty good offer."

She opened the folder, sat on the chair and flipped through it, "A consultant?"

"Yeah… it pays by the case, but… it pays well. Allows me to still dabble in police work and be home and maybe get a side job while I still draw from my retirement."

"Elliot… do you _want_ to do this?" she asked still looking at the paperwork, "It's back in SVU. Since when does SVU get consultants?"

"That's what I asked when I called Cragen… he said he wrote the proposal as soon as he heard my Captain wanted me gone and the brass told him if he could find someone for the job they'd hire one… I can't carry a gun anymore Liv, but I still want to do something good… this is it. It's just consulting on cases when they need it. It's safer, I'll be home with you and the kids."

She exhaled, closed the file and returned it to the desk. Softly, she asked him, "Why didn't you tell me they were forcing you? You never even mentioned it Elliot. Didn't you think I'd ask when we started getting retirement checks for you?"

Elliot exhaled, "Please don't be mad-"

"Oh, Elliot," she shook her head, "I'm not upset… I'm shocked, I mean," she chuckled, "Our lives have changed so much in the past year… I'm a student for crying out loud and you're retired!"

He smiled, "We're still a sexy couple though, right?"

She grinned and rolled her eyes, "Yeah, still sexy… Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"He didn't make you retire did he?" she asked, locking her eyes with his. Something about his sudden confession seemed off, something about his explanation didn't seem right.

He swallowed and exhaled, "No… he uh, gave me a choice, consultant or wait it out and see but he made it clear he didn't want me in his unit."

She nodded, "If you don't want to do this-"

"I do," he smiled and wheeled himself to her, "I do. I want to be home with you and the kids as much as possible, and I'm sorry Liv, but I've seen the bank account now… I'm never putting in another day over OT again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sam?" Olivia called into his room softly and grinned seeing him pet his, still tiny, puppy in his arms as she slept with her snout buried into his underarm. Olivia sat on the side of his bed when there was no answer and very gently took Moses from his arms, surprised when he held tighter to the puppy, "It's okay. I won't hurt her. I'm gonna lay her next to Zeus, how's that?"

Reluctantly, he slowly relinquished his hold on Moses and rolled to his side, his back facing his mother as she rested the sleeping puppy next to Zeus who had taken a liking to the young labrador since the day she'd came to stay with the family. Zeus nuzzled the pup with his snout until she curled into a tight ball, smacked her chops and fell back to sleep, her tongue protruding along the sides of her lips.

"So," Olivia said in a small voice to avoid waking up Isaac, "your Dad and I were talking right now… we'd like for you to talk to us about what's been happening with you," she said and stretched out next to him, almost hurt when he scooted away. She simply pulled him back to her and kissed his cheek, "Just 'cause you're ten now, doesn't mean I can't hold you."

He sniffled and rolled back to face her but said nothing. "Let's go talk huh? You, me and your dad. We'll cuddle up on the couch and-"

"I don't want to talk."

"You need to."

"I won't."

She exhaled, "Samuel… please don't make me force you. I don't want to _not_ give you a choice, but… you've been holding too much in, you don't even want anything to do with Hannah."

"So?"

"So?" she raised her brow, "She's your sister."

"No she's not. I'm adopted, remember? No one wanted me and so now I'm here," he exhaled, "And you won't want me soon, too."

She sat up, took hold of his hand, "No… don't play that card with me. Let's go."

"No."

She pulled him up to a sitting position and kneeled in front of him framing his face, "Do. Not. Tell me, no," she said firmly and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek, "I love you. Do you understand that? I love you with everything that's inside of me and just because you doubt it… it doesn't change it. Got it?"

He exhaled and his small shoulders began to heave, "Don't be mad at me, mom."

"Baby," she exhaled and kissed his cheek again, "I'm not mad at you but, I'm very frustrated. You were doing so well… there's no reason why you have to stay in your room all day, and that's all you do. Don't you miss Robert and Alex? Don't you miss going to Crystal's?"

"I miss going to the movies with Dad."

She nodded softly, "I know you do… maybe that'll change soon. Your dad is doing so much better now, his legs move more and more each day and he loves racing you while you swim."

Sam bowed his head, "No more talking mom."

She tipped his chin up, "I'm sorry son, but I've given you a lot of time, too much in fact. Let's go," she said and took his hand again, surprised when he pulled away, "Sam," she warned, "I can still pick you up."

He remained sitting on his bed. Stubborn. "I don't want to talk about Hannah, I don't want to talk about the man, I don't want to talk about hurting dad or the man at the store or anything else. I'm. Not. Talking."

Frustrated and ready to loose her temper she leaned in, kissed his cheek and rested her lips near his ear, "Yes. You. Are."

"No, I'm-" his protest was cut off when she immediately picked him up and flung him over her shoulder, "MOM!"

"Geeze you're heavy," she groaned and began walking, "You're talking. I don't care if we have to stay up all night, _every_ night," she told him simply and walked him out of the room, "Did you forget that you're dad and I were both cops and both very use to talking to people who don't want to talk… for lots and lots of hours."

"Mom!" he yelled again, "Put me down!"

She set him on the couch as Elliot looked on in confusion. "Hey," Olivia said and gently held Sam's face in her hand, "You don't raise your voice to me. We've given you a lot of time Sam and we've allowed you to talk to Mags and you didn't take that opportunity. We're not asking you to tell us _everything_ but we're telling you that you need to start _somewhere_… and we've got all night long."

Sam's nostrils flared in anger and he quickly drew his feet up into his chest and exhaled. He'd wait'em out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot."

"Yeah," his head shot up as he sat in his chair fighting sleep, "Yeah?"

"Remember how long De'Marco held out?" she said as they both continued to stare at Sam who'd remained silent and still for the last eighty-three minutes.

"Yeah… how long did we have to wait for him to start talking… like twelve hours or something? I remember that. Long case."

Imperceptibly, Sam's brow rose as his father continued, "I'm sure glad you and I are so patient, Liv. I think he was gonna try and wait us out. Good thing we had all that coffee…ooh, Liv, you want me to make some coffee?"

"Mmm, how about chocolate? Cherry actually, that's the best."

"It was kind of sucky that we couldn't give De'Marco anything until he started talking," Elliot said and began to wheel him self away. Sam wasn't taking the bait just yet, but when his father returned, several minutes later with mugs of chocolate held with his legs as he pushed, Sam caught the aroma.

"Can I have some?" he asked softly.

Olivia accepted a mug and took a careful sip, "Sorry, but uh… I need something from you first."

"What?"

She exhaled, purposefully in his direction to allow him to smell the cherry on her mouth, "I need you to talk to me."

"No."

"Well," she shrugged, "I guess me and your dad will just sit here and sip our chocolate… there's a third cup, though… I don't know, maybe I'll drink that one too."

"Mom," Sam said in a pleading voice, "I don't like to talk. It hurts my heart so much," he said and shook his head, "I don't want to."

Both Elliot and Olivia placed the mugs on the coffee table, Sam was cracking and it would only be a matter of time, "We understand that, Son," Elliot said softly. "I know what you mean because I hate to talk about what happened. I hate to feel that way, but your mom always makes it better, in the end. Just by talking."

"But," Sam exhaled, "Maybe I'll just be bad and my heart will never have to hurt, because bad people's hearts are different."

Olivia sat next to Sam, "Honey, we've been over this so many times," she said compassionately, "why do you think you're bad?"

Sam sniffled, "I don't want Hannah around me and I put Dad in a wheelchair and-"

"Hey," Elliot quickly chimed in and, as fast as he could, slipped from his chair to the couch pulling his son into his lap. The embrace almost felt normal. "You didn't put me in the chair, remember? The man hurt me very badly and that's why I'm in it. But it's not forever. I can walk all the way down the hall without my chair now… did you know that? I can walk all the way down the hall but your mom has to stay with me."

Sam sobbed and shook his head, "I'm sorry I hurt your girl Dad, I am. I didn't want to drop her but I couldn't hold her and get her out, and now I don't ever want to be near her, 'cause I hurt her once, so I'll hurt her again."

"No," Elliot whispered, "No. That's not true. You saved her… I wish you could see how she sticks her bottom lip out when she crawls to you and you won't touch her… she loves you so much Sam. She's your sister and she loves you."

"But I hurt her… she shouldn't love me."

"She doesn't remember," Olivia whispered and rubbed his back softly as he remained in Elliot's embrace, "She doesn't, and she crawls around the house faster than I can run after her… believe me Sam, she's fine, honey."

"I wish I never came here."

Elliot squeezed him tighter as Olivia nestled closer, "Why?" she whispered, "Have we been less than good to you? Because we've loved every second that you've come to be with us. Every Second."

He took in an uneven breath, "But… I make it so much sader for you. Maybe, if there were only three kids, you wouldn't have to care about the budget so much, and maybe if there were only three kids you wouldn't have to worry about me so much and maybe if there were only three kids-"

"My heart would stop beating," Elliot whispered. "If there were only three kids, my heart would stop beating because I would know that you were missing, every minute of every day."

"I love four babies," Olivia said softly and kissed Sam's shoulder through his shirt, "and as far as money goes…. Honey, we're fine-"

"I hear you talk," Sam said sadly, "I do. You told Alex that money was tight and we cut corners. I don't understand what cut corners means but is that why we don't go to the movies?"

"What are you talking about?" Elliot said softly, "You and I are going to the movies tomorrow night," he promised suddenly. Olivia smiled at her husband and kissed his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder and rubbing Sam's back gently.

"We are?" Sam furrowed his brow. "That's not on the planner mom records for me."

Elliot smiled "That's 'cause I wanted to surprise you."

"Oh," Sam exhaled, "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

Sam's body tensed, Olivia felt it and she rubbed his back even firmer to calm him, "It's okay, Sam," she whispered, "It's just you and us and you can say whatever you want."

He shook his head frantically and crawled to her, positioning him self into her lap. Elliot felt the chill as soon as Sam left his embrace. He wanted him back, wanted to hold him close but decided it was best not to push him. There was too much going on in his mind to push. "It's okay," Olivia whispered as his crying became more labored, "Shhh," she soothed him and pulled him back to wipe the moisture from his face, "Tell us why you're upset."

"I didn't mean to," Sam cried and buried his face into his mother's neck, his father's hand covering his small body with a blanket from his back pack, "I didn't, mom. I promise."

"Do what?" she asked and dragged her fingers lazily through his hair, "Hmm? Tell me, sweetie… did you break something in the house on accident? Did you spill somewhere and not t-"  
"I shot dad," he confessed and quickly framed her face speaking frantically, "I didn't mean to! I pointed it and he said… he said, 'now Sam!'… I'm Sam. But, I didn't see, I only heard and I kept pulling the button and-"

"Hey," Elliot whispered and attempted to pull him back to him when he held fiercely to Olivia, "Okay… okay, stay with her," he said softly and continued the rubbing sensation on his back, "Sam… I don't understand," Elliot confessed, "You didn't shoot me."

"Yeah!" Sam disagreed, "Yeah, I did! I heard you and mom and you were talking and mom said you had two nails… and… you had… I heard her say that's why you had to have a special doctor like I did when I hurt myself."

"Sam-"

"I had the nail gun, mom," Sam ignored his father, "I did, I had it and I pointed," he shook his head and wiped his nose with his hand, "and I kept pulling the button and dad said, 'now, Sam.' I don't like those words anymore, no more, 'now Sam.' I don't like it!" he yelled suddenly balling his fist in frustration and attempting to pummel her chest as he cried angry tears.

She caught his fists instantly and pulled him as tight to her as possible, "We've got to do something about that anger," she said softly.

He hiccupped, "I didn't want to!" he sobbed and pushed himself deeper into his mother's embrace, "I didn't mean to hurt him. I promise! I hurt Hannah, and Isaac's feet feel different now cause I didn't let him put shoes on… and dad… dad… I didn't mean to mom," he stopped only when his voice became hoarse and he cried, "I promise I didn't mean to."

She kissed the crown of his head, "Honey… you didn't hit your dad with the nail gun."

"Yeah I did!" he told her with flared nostrils, "Yeah I did! I had it, I got it from behind me and I made the button go a whole bunch of times and I heard dad and he was in so much pain and…" Sam's breathing escalated, his hands fisting her shirt as he shook his head, "and," he sniffled and sobbed again, "that's why I'm a bad boy, that's why I don't like being around Hannah and I don't want dad to stop loving me 'cause I hurt him."

Elliot had enough. He reached out pulled him into his lap and Olivia willingly welcomed the maneuver even as Sam screeched and pleaded for her to take him back, even as he yelled that he hated her for letting him go. Elliot wrapped his arms around him, pulled him as tight to him as possible and quickly found his ear with his bearded lips, "Listen to me,"

"Let me go!"

"Listen to me," Elliot said again softening his voice even more, "Listen to me. You're a beautiful little boy, with a great big heart and you saved my life that night. You didn't shoot me with the gun Sam. You shot the man who was trying to hurt you, and that's okay. We've talked about this. It's okay, because you didn't have a choice. It's okay, because I told you to do it. You never once, were anywhere near hurting me with the nails. I promise."

"But Dad-"

"Do you know how I know?"

"Dad-"

"I know," Elliot whispered and cried as his voice broke in his son's ear, "because I could see the man when he shot me with the gun." He sniffled and tried to compose him self but failed, " I heard what he said and I could see him. You were already out of the house, son. You didn't do it. None of the nails that you shot hit me, none of them. I promise you. Not one."

"But you sounded so bad, Dad," Sam cried, "You sounded like you were hurting so much, like you were in a lot of pain."

Elliot closed his eyes, the memory of that night flooding back in high definition as Olivia's hand rested on his thigh. He took in a ragged breath, "I fell out of the kitchen chair son and it hurt so much that I couldn't help but to sound that way. My legs hurt me so bad… but you were more important than the pain… and I had to get to you."

Olivia cried silently. Elliot had remembered exactly what happened that night. She wondered what went through his mind when White had taken aim at him. Wondered what flashed before him. Knew.

"I love you Sam," Elliot whispered, "and it hurts me more than anything that man did to us, to know that you don't want to be here."

"I want to be here," Sam said softly, "But I don't like that I make you so sad. I don't like that the people are mean to you 'cause you have to be in the chair."

"You don't make me sad, and that guy wasn't very nice, but there are so many more people who are. You make me so happy," Elliot grinned through his tears and brought Sam's hands to his face, "is this a sad face?"

Sam smiled softly, "No, that's a smile. Big like mom's."

"You put that smile there, son," Elliot told him, "I want you talking to Mags again, I want you to be with your sister-"

"NO!"

"Yes." Elliot told him firmly, "she loves you and you have no right to refuse her love."

"Yeah, I do," he protested, "I got rights! That's what Aunt Casey says, I got'em."

"No. You. Don't… not when it comes to accepting your sister's love" Elliot told him slowly. "She wants to play with you and if you could see her sad face when you don't want to play with her, you'd know how much it hurts her. You've managed to play with Solomon and Isaac… why are they blessed with your love and not her?"

Sam sniffled, "'Cause."

"That's not an answer," Olivia interjected softly, "Tell us Sam… why don't you want to be around her?"

"'Cause maybe…. Maybe she won't forgive me."

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Sam… believe me, she knows nothing of what happened that night. She's only ten months old now… she can't remember being dropped out of the window, which by the way saved her life."

"But," Sam hiccupped and wiped his nose on his pajama shirt sleeve, "Maybe… maybe, uh-"

"Maybe what?" Olivia encouraged him.

"Maybe my hair is too long now and we should cut it," he said and attempted to slide off of his fathers lap.

"No," Elliot said and held him tightly, "No. We're gonna talk this through because I'm tired of seeing you ignore Mags and Hannah. It's not gentleman like and it hurts your sister so much."

Sam exhaled, bowed his head and shook it as he groaned, "Maybe she won't forgive me… for running away from her when she cried."

There was something new. "What?" Olivia asked softly, "Honey, what do you mean?"

Sam swallowed and sat back on Elliot's thighs, "Mom," he shook his head again, "they were so heavy."

"It's okay," Elliot said softly and rubbed his arms, "it is."

"They were so heavy and she was quiet. She's always quiet… I laid her down so… we could get away faster 'cause I couldn't hold her anymore."

"And that was a very smart thing you did," Olivia told him, "and using the cell phone… that was really thinking like a big boy, Sam… you saved her life."

"She cried for me."

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Sam you've got to explain yourself."

He exhaled, "I laid her down and she was quiet. I kissed her and she was quiet. I put the phone on her and she was quiet…. I started to run with the boys and… my hearing is extra good 'cause my eyes don't work."

Olivia swiped at her tears, "What are you saying baby?"

"We kept running," he whispered, "and it was so cold, and Isaac was being so fussy and Solomon was so heavy. The vest broke… I think I fell 'cause I remember being on the floor and hoping Solo was okay… and I heard Hannah's crying. I heard it and she was so scared to be alone."

"Oh, Sam," Olivia whispered and he instantly changed positions again and crawled into her lap, "no son, she's not upset with you for that. I promise you she doesn't know what happened that night, she doesn't know that you were leaving her… you did everything you could. You wrapped her warm. You laid her down gently and you left a phone so they could find her… honey, what more did you think your little body could do?"

He sobbed into her neck, "I don't want her to hate me."

Elliot exhaled as Olivia tried to sooth their son, he slipped back into his chair and wheeled away returning several minutes with a sleepy Hannah in his lap. Olivia's face was red with tears and snot just as Sam's face was. She licked her lips and sniffled, "Sit right here baby," she whispered and adjusted him next to her, "I want you to hold your sister."

"NO!" he screeched and instantly tried to fight her. She held his hands and Elliot delicately placed Hannah in his lap. Sam stilled instantly. "Please take her," he whispered, "I don't want her mom."

"Tough."

"Mom-"

Elliot tipped his chin up and wiped at his tears, "She's your sister and it's not right that you keep your distance from her. She needs to grow up and feel like her oldest brother is always going to keep her safe," Elliot told him, "when you first held her you said you'd always protect her… how can you protect her if you don't love her?"

"I _love _her," he cried softly and Olivia smiled when his embrace tightened onto her body. "She's a lot bigger now."

"Yeah, she is," Olivia smiled. "She missed you."

"I don't want to hurt her."

"Then don't," Elliot told him and adjusted his small hand to touch Hannah's sleeping face. "The only way you're gonna hurt her, is if you don't love her."

Sam exhaled, mulled his parents' words over and after a long couple of minutes slowly lowered his lips to Hannah's forehead and cried softly against her, "I'm sorry, sister."

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"What happened at the store?" Olivia asked as Elliot adjusted the covers over their bodies and held her tight against him.

"Nothing… go to sleep, you've got an early test tomorrow."

"Elliot… if it was nothing, Sam wouldn't have been bothered enough to bring it up… tell me."

He exhaled, pulled her waist so she was tight against him, his hand resting on the flesh of her belly as he stroked her naval softly, "It was just… some jerk. Nothing to worry about."

"Elliot… tell me," she said and covered his hand with hers, "tell me what happened, did someone do something to you?" she whispered, truly wanting to know, but not certain if she could handle that someone else had given him a hard time, made things more difficult for him than things already were.

"Don't worry about me, Liv… some people are jerks, some aren't… it's not a big deal. Rest."

"Elliot… please?" she sniffled and turned around to face him, her hand on his cheek, "did someone do something to you today?"

He exhaled, "We, uh… we we're gonna catch a cab when we got out of the store and… a guy beat me to it... nothing to worry about."

"Elliot… you're holding back."

He ran his thumb along her ribs, "He was actually in the store with us… I couldn't reach the top shelf for this shirt I thought might look nice on you and either could Sam, so… I just asked the first person who we saw."

"He was rude to you?"

Elliot smiled, "He was less than accommodating."

She nodded, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be… he gave me a few choice words, and split."

"What'd he say?"

Elliot exhaled, "Uh… I dunno, something about crippled people thinking everyone owes them."

"Jerk."

"You know… that's exactly what Sam called him," Elliot chuckled, "I stood Isaac on my lap and he pulled the shirt… and three others down for me," he laughed and kissed her cheek softly, "We got out on the street and that same jerk stole my cab," he laughed again, "I think Sam was more pissed off than I was… I just don't really care to go to the stores is all… people stare."

"Cause you're hot."

"No," he shook his head. "They stare because they assume I've always been in this chair… I notice that they look at three things, me, our kids and then my wedding finger… its worse actually, when you go out with me… I think they wonder how we make love… why you're with a cripple-"

"I'm not with a cripple… I'm with a fighter. I'm with someone who had a very bad thing happen and he's fighting back by getting better… and as far as making love," she smiled, "they only wish they had what we do."

"Which is nothing," he exhaled, "how are you so patient about this? I want you."

"I want you. Believe me… I go to sleep wanting you and I wake up wanting you… I'm patient, because if I was in the chair… you'd wait for me too. And Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"We do have something… don't let them take that from us. Let them stare all they want, but don't let them take anything from us."

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"I'm not using that!" Elliot barked from the bed and pushed the contraption over. "I'm not a damn invalid, Olivia!"

"Yell a little louder," she exhaled and picked up the walker, "I'm not sure _all_ of the kids heard you."

He exhaled and shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"I know… I also know you don't want to use this but the doctor gave it to us and it's been sitting in the closet for three days. You want to get better? Then you need to use it."

"I'll walk on my own," he hissed.

"Really? Because right now, I have to be right beside you… I'm not complaining, but I think you'd feel more independent if I weren't hovering, now get out of the bed and start using this thing."

"I'm not."

"Elliot!" she snapped, "What happened to not picking fights with me?"

"What happened to treating me like a man? I'm not using a walker."

She exhaled, sat on the edge of his bed, "Elliot… I know that you don't want to use this. The doctor said you don't have to use it in public but you need to use it around the house as much as possible. It doesn't make you less of a man. You've got to get out of that chair-"

"Don't you think I know that!"

She pursed her lips, let out a slow breath, "I'll be in the kitchen making breakfast."

"Liv… I'm sorry."

"I know," she nodded and stood.

"Can you bring me the chair?"

She looked at his wheelchair and looked back at him and simply pushed it out of the room with her, throwing over her shoulder, "If you want breakfast, you'll have to find another way to get it, because you're not using this damn chair and I'm not bringing it to you."

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She figured she'd give him ten minutes to pout and lick his wounds, another ten minutes to put his clothes on and maybe another five to get out to the kitchen. She kept her eyes and ears trained on the hallway as she moved about the house. She opted to leave the babies asleep as well as Isaac, deciding that Elliot would want to help them start their mornings off. His need for his binder became less frequent and the post-it notes declined at a rapid pace although, "Turn off" still remained on the coffee pot and the directions for the microwave were still close by.

She scraped Sam's eggs into his plate and set it at the table before turning around and grinning, "You look good," she said softly as Elliot slowly made his way down the hallway, pushing the walker forward then walking to it and repeating the motion.

"I feel stupid."

She chuckled and wiped her hands on a hand towel, "It'll be just awhile longer, Elliot… then you'll be up to no good in no time."

He smiled, out of breath before getting to the kitchen table, "It uses my arms and legs… good workout."

Olivia grabbed his cup of juice and placed it in front of him as Sam dragged his tired body to the table, "School is too early," he grumbled.

"Well good morning to you, too," Elliot teased.

Sam grinned, "Mornin' Dad."

Olivia smiled and wrapped her arm around Elliot's neck, bending low to kiss his cheek, "I love you," she told him and returned to the kitchen for Sam's juice, "Morning sleepy head."

Sam groaned, "Morning mom… do I have to go to school?"

"Yep," she smiled and kissed the top of his head, "If I have to drag my self to school, so do you."

"Dad… movies?"

"Right after school, my boy. Just me and you."

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"Robert?" Alex stretched her feet out to touch his as they lay next to each other in bed.

"Yeah?" he answered groggily.

"I miss being able to sleep close to you," she said sadly, "I miss it a lot actually."

Robert smiled and opened his eyes, surprised to see tears in Alex's, "Hey," he said softly, "what's going on?"

She sniffled, "I'm still pregnant."

He chuckled, "And that's a bad thing?"

"He was supposed to be here, yesterday!" she sobbed, "I'm tired of being pregnant, my ankles are sore, my back hurts and I just want to see him."

Robert rose up on one elbow and stroked her belly gently, "You look so incredibly sexy."

"Robert-"

"You do," he whispered and kissed her belly, "he's growing and he's getting stronger so he can meet us and our friends… you know first babies usually go over the due date."

"I know," she huffed, "But, I want him. Now."

Robert grinned, "You've always been so impatient."

"So?"

"So." He smiled, "So, just relax and he'll come when he wants to come."

She exhaled, "I'm scared."

"I know… so am I."

"No… I mean… about the delivery."

"You've been talking to Olivia and Casey, right? I'm sure they've been telling you what to expect."

She nodded softly, "Yeah… but, that's not what I meant."

He furrowed his brows, "What did you mean?"

"Well," she exhaled, "what if… I mean, we haven't… we'll there's always a chance… you know? Until we actually see him and he's crying and moving around… there's always a chance that he could be… still born."

"Alex," he whispered, "oh, Al… no. No, I promise you that's not gonna happen… are you kidding me? I feel that little guy kick all night long. He's strong and he's gonna be here any day now, and we've got the Stabler's and Novak's on our speed dials and we've got everything packed in the car just like Elliot showed me and we're putting our clothes out at night… we're gonna be fine and so is he," Robert assured her and rubbed her belly again, "I promise, you," he whispered and kissed her lips softly, "have I ever broken a promise to you?"

She sniffled and framed his face as she nodded, "No, no you haven't."

"I'm not gonna start now, either," he assured her and smiled with a wag of his brows, "have you thought of any names?"

Her smile fell, "No."

"No? Alex… he's coming any day now… you haven't thought of anything?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because, why?"

"Robert… please. I don't want to do this."

He furrowed his brow, "Alex… we can't call him, 'hey kid', he needs a name."

"I'm not giving him one, yet," she said sharply as anger crashed into her eyes.

He looked at her in confusion only to have realization quickly follow. He cupped her face, "Alex… it's okay to pick out a name for him. He's not gonna die."

She sobbed, "You don't know that. Why isn't he here yet? What if something is wrong? I can't handle it if we loose another one. I can't… and I don't want to name him until I absolutely know he's going to come home with us. I don't want to name our son and have him die… I can't do it."

He exhaled, kissed her lips gently and nipped at her bottom lip, "He's not going to die. He'll be here soon," he whispered. "I promise you, he'll be here and you and I will be having sleepless nights, and changing poop diapers and cleaning puke off of our shirts and all that other good stuff that is synonymous with an infant…. I love you… let's pick out some name-"

"I don't wa-"

He covered her lips with his own, "Thomas?" he whispered.

She closed her eyes as her tears fell, "I like Julian," she confessed in a near whisper.

"Tobias?"

"Toby for short?"

He smiled softly again and met his lips to hers, "It's whatever you want."

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One day ended and fed into the next which soon became nothing but opened the start of the next day, and the next. Casey had made constant checks on Alex who was uncomfortably pregnant and huge. She was bigger than Olivia had been with Isaac and she made Casey look like a stick when she was carrying Addison. Olivia made it a point to stop by often and Alex and Robert were thrilled to have Elliot and the kids over for lunch. Elliot had been bold enough to navigate their home with nothing except his walker which he occasionally decided not to use and opted instead for Sam's shoulders as the young boy walked in front of his father, allowing Elliot to hold on for balance, effectively being his legs just like he promised him he would.

Olivia was stuck somewhere between ecstatic that he was making progress and resigned to the fact that she and Elliot would probably not be making love for quite awhile longer. If ever. He'd gotten stronger and stronger as the days past, his walker helping him in ways she never thought possible, especially in such a short time. But, here he was, walking without her next to him. He was also pushing her away, again. She'd come on to him last night to which he told her no. Again.

She didn't want to push him but, since he'd been getting better, she thought she could take the stress from having to instigate something, away from him. The fight erupted between the both of them and it all came down to his inability to reproduce. His inability to believe that she didn't care about that at all, that she loved the family right now, just the way it was.

"Elliot," she called to him softly from the door of their room, "are you going to talk to me?"

He exhaled, "I'm not upset with you, why would I not talk with you?" he asked, his voice cresting with irritation.

Slowly, almost timidly she walked to him, stood in front of him and ran her hand through his hair, "Do you want me to cut your hair? Shave you?"

"No," he exhaled, "I'm fine. Sleepy. I'm gonna crash. Night Liv," she exhaled as he rolled to his side.

"Night, Elliot."

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"Mom, where's Dad?" Sam asked as he shook her away, "Mom, I can't find him."

She bolted up in the bed and rubbed her eyes, "Baby, it's the middle of the night, what's wrong?"

"Moses had to pee, and I wanted to talk to dad but I can't hear him anywhere."

She furrowed her brow, turned to Elliot's side of the bed to find it empty, she turned to the bathroom, empty, light off. "Jump in bed, get warm," Olivia said, not wanting Sam to worry. She tucked him in the center of their bed and kissed him, "I'll go see what's up, huh?"

"Yeah?" Sam yawned, "I'm too tired.'

"Okay," she smiled softly and kissed his cheek, "Night," she said and quickly left the room searching the house frantically for Elliot and when there was nowhere else to look, when she found herself in the middle of the living room panicking even more as both his chair and walker remained in the house she let out a sob and tangled her fingers in her hair until her body finally recognized a draft.

She turned instantly to the front door… the alarm panel was unarmed, "No," she whispered to herself and immediately ran out of the house and down the ramp, "Elliot!" she yelled into the night, "Elliot answer me!... NOW!" When there was no response other than a grunt she instantly ran around the SUV and her heart sank seeing her husband who had obviously fallen, struggle to crawl on his belly to get to the fence.

"El-"

"Get away!"

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and walked slowly to him as he struggled to pull himself up, using the fence until he stood shakily, holding on for dear life, "Elliot," she said softly and wrapped her arms carefully around his body, splaying her hands over his chest, "are you okay?"

He nodded yes but, his legs quickly buckled under him and she caught him just in time to break his fall to the ground. Her side would have a bruise but he was safe, panting out of breath against her body as they sat on the driveway, "I'm sorry," he shook his head, "I… my legs-"

"It's okay," she whispered and kissed his sweaty temple, "its okay. Why are you out here?" she asked, covering his heart with her hand, its rhythm too fast for her liking.

He swallowed, covered her hand with his, "I… I thought… I heard something."

"Why didn't you wake me… I wouldn't have minded taking a look. Why didn't you use your chair or walker? Answer me."

He exhaled, "I just… I… I wanted to see what it was. I wanted to feel like I could at least protect you guys by looking… and… I dunno."

"And, what?" she whispered, "You know what you were gonna say, tell me."

"I just… I looked out the widow and… I saw the fence… and…. I-"

"Wanted to go over that night?"

"Yeah," he exhaled and sniffled, "I must have missed something Liv. A sound or something, a gut feeling, maybe-"

"No," she whispered, "you didn't miss anything. You were attacked Elliot. In our home. It's not your fault and there was nothing you could do to change it."

He swallowed, "I want to believe you, you have no idea how much I want to."

"Then do it. Believe me."

"I can't."

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He hissed against the pain.

"You got some nice scrapes. No stitches though," Olivia smiled as she cleaned his abdomen of the dirt and scrapes his fall left behind, "I think that's a first for you, huh? The no stitches."

He smiled softly, "Yeah, saves us a co-payment, right?" he chuckled and adjusted himself on the couch.

She laughed, "Yeah, it's me and the kids that have to worry, we've got no insurance for the rest of us Elliot. We're gonna have to be careful until I can get something thrown together… you're insured though… you can break whatever," she teased him and kissed his abdomen, taken back when he asked her not to.

"Elliot? What's the matter? Why can't I touch you anymore? What happened to fooling around?" She asked with a tilted head.

He exhaled and bit his lip, "I can't make love to you, not right now."

"Was I asking you to?" she said softly, "I wasn't… I just wanted to kiss you."

He shook his head, "I don't want you to kiss me."

She raised her brows, "That really… hurts, Elliot. Thanks."

He groaned, "Liv… I'm worthless! I bet you that vibrator could get you off faster and better than I could or ever will," he snapped.

She stared at him and she could feel the anger flash through her own eyes, "Is that what you think?" she asked coolly and folded her arms, "You think I want that more than I want you?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, "I think you'd better get used to it, because we both know that that is what it's gonna come down to."

"Your ring broke yesterday morning… did you think I wouldn't have seen it in the trashcan?" she asked trying to keep her anger at bay.

He exhaled "Who cares about the stupid ring, we both know I can get useless erections… who cares."

She shook her head, "Elliot, you know that if the ring broke that meant that not only were you capable of an erection, you could make love to me… I'm not pushing you. I'm not asking for anything other than you just being up front with me. Why didn't you tell me the ring broke?"

"What cares!" he snapped and leaned his head back, "Who cares," he said softly and shook his head as he stared up at the ceiling. "You'll want another baby one day, and I can't give one to you, so who really cares if the ring broke or not."

"Elliot… I've already told you… we can adopt if we really want another one."

He exhaled, "You should just learn how to get off with the vibrator Olivia, because I'm about as helpful as crap on a new shoe."

"Fine," she nodded, her anger suddenly letting loose, "you think I want that over you… you think that's gonna do the job. Let's see." She said and stormed away only to return with the pink object in her hand, "Here!" she thrust it to him in anger and when he didn't take it she narrowed her eyes at him, "You'd better take this damn thing."

He took it and groaned, "Liv… I'm sorry… I just."

"No! Let's see. Let's prove you right," she snapped and pulled off her pajama bottoms, "is this what you wanted, Elliot?" she hissed in an effort to show anger towards him but keep her voice low for the kids, "Is it?... Answer me!"

He closed his eyes and swallowed casting the vibrator away.

"Oh, maybe you want the whole thing. You don't believe that I want you? You think I want that more?" she continued her rant and pulled her camisole off following with her panties, "Come on Elliot… let's get it over with."

"Olivia," he looked up at her and his eyes were pleading for a pardon she wasn't willing to give.

She shook her head, crossed her arms over her naked chest and looked away as her tears fell, "I don't know what it's gonna take for you to believe that I want you in the worst possible way. I don't know what it's gonna take for you to believe that I don't care if you can't get me pregnant and I don't care if you're body isn't the same," she sniffled and looked back at him. "I care about _you_ Elliot… I love _you_ and if it means that I never have another orgasm or I never make love to you again, then I will deal with that and I will stay with you, but so help me… you keep putting me on a roller coaster and I may just slap you."

He swallowed hard and it struck him that she has never stood so boldly without clothes before. He bit his lip, "I'm sorry… I just… this is so frustrating."

She exhaled, kneeled naked in front of him, "I know it is, but you know what? It's just like you told Sam… you have no right to refuse my love, not when I love you with everything I have. Don't do that to me, Elliot. I'm not asking you to make love to me, but I am asking you to keep your mind open. I am asking you to let me touch you… to kiss you. To be as intimate with me as you can be because I do miss being intimate with you. I miss that trust, I miss being with you… I'm not saying that I just miss making love to you, I'm saying… I just miss the intimacy and the closeness we had… even when we wanted to rip each others heads off, we were still close. But this," she motioned between the two of them "I don't know this, it's unfamiliar and I don't like it. I don't know how to handle it. I want to be close to you… do you want to be close to me?"

He exhaled, "I want to Liv."

"Then why have you been pushing me?" she asked softly, "Why? We were doing so well and then all of a sudden you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I want you… I just… I don't understand how you can want me."

She smiled softly, and rested her hands on his thighs, "Do I have to drag you to some seedy motel and pay for you by the hour to show you how much I want to be with you?" She had been playing but she could see he was entertaining the thought. "I'm not going to a seedy motel, but… I'll take you to a nice hotel, if you'd like," she grinned still playing with him and was surprised when he shifted his hips.

She furrowed her bows and smiled, "What's going on in there?" she asked and gently stroked him, "Ah, never mind. I think I know."

Elliot blushed and laughed, "You touched my legs and I couldn't help it."

She smiled, raised up from sitting on her heels so that she was completely on her knees, "You know," she whispered sensing opportunity as she slowly trailed her fingers along his chest and abdomen, "This carpet… really makes some things easier."

He smiled, "Yeah? Like what?"

She exhaled softly and kissed his mouth, "No more waxing,"

"Oh," he mumbled against her lips.

She kissed his neck, moved down his chest with her tongue, "No more worrying about scratching the wood."

"Uh huh."

She smiled as his breathing increased, his hands moving to her shoulders as she ran her tongue in a swirl over his naval, "Kneeling down… for various activities."

He whimpered and she hadn't even touched him. Ego stroke.

"What activities would that be?" he asked digging his nails into her in anticipation.

"Well," she smiled and gently slid her fingers into the slit of his boxers, "there's uh, Candy Land, which Isaac enjoys."

He groaned, feeling her hand on him, "He's too young."

"No," she whispered. "Then there's uh… other things."

"Like what? Tell m-" he hissed in air as her lips caressed the head of his length, "Liv."

She smiled around him, twisted her hand at the base of him and ran her finger along his sac as he groaned and pleaded with her for more of what she was doing. She withdrew her mouth from him and he looked down at her dazed and he hadn't even come yet, "I thought you didn't want me to touch you?" she asked with a smile.

"I do," he said quickly, "I do. I really do."

She chuckled, kissed his head again and tucked him back into his short, before kissing him hot and wet and breaking away panting, "Later," she whispered and kissed his mouth, "it'll be better."

He groaned, "It was pretty good."

"I know," she smiled and kissed him again, "I want to be able to hear you come and we can't do that with the kids sleeping."

He chuckled, "I want you… I think I could have you."

"Really?" she grinned, "That strong huh?"

"Yeah, uh… your lips are magic" he waggled his brows. "Maybe we should go at it?"

She laughed, "I want you to look through the Kama Sutra… come up with something that will be easy on your legs… I'll take it from there."

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Alex groaned coming through the door of their home, "Why do they keep telling me to wait."

Robert chuckled, "Our boy is gaining weight… you heard what the doctor said, if you don't go into labor in two days, they'll induce," he exhaled and kissed the back of her neck before wrapping his arms around her belly and rubbing softly, "Dallas?"

"No," She chuckled, "We're not naming him after the Dallas Cowboys."

"Troy?"

"Or a player."

"Picky," he laughed and he felt her smile as she tightened his arms around her, "I'm sorry I'm being so grumpy… I want to see him."

"I know," he smiled, "and we will. I promise."

"Not at the rate he's going… what's the kid's problem? I don't think he wants to meet us," she teased, "I think he probably knows your hair is starting to thin and he doesn't want to deal with those genes."

He laughed into her shoulder, "My hair isn't thinning."

"Whatever," she smiled and turned around. "I know… you're just as sexy as the day I met you."

He smiled and kissed her hand, "And you… well, you're always sexy, and you just keep getting more and more sexy. In fact, you're so sexy I have to send off bad vibes to all the guys when we go somewhere… that's why I have so few male friends."

She laughed hysterically and kissed him on the lips, "You don't have a lot of friends because you spend entirely too much time with me."

"None of the guys are as sexy as you."

"You been lookin'?" she asked and grinned, "Tell me… what's my competition?"

"Well," he squinted his eye and tilted his head in thought, "There was this guy today… he definitely had bigger breasts than you."

Her mouth fell open and soon she grinned as she laughed, "That. Is. Disgusting."

He chuckled, "I thought so too… I was gonna offer him one of your nursing bra's but, uh… well I was afraid he'd sumo me. He was very hairy too."

"You like hairy?"

He laughed, "Okay, this conversation is getting weird."

"Hey, you're the one scoping out the guys."

He laughed harder, "I was not! I was playing with you."

"Uh huh… I don't know Robert… I think you might be hiding something from me… that must explain this impeccable butt of yours," She smiled and caressed him through his pants.

"You like it?" he asked and arched his brow.

"Yeah," she smiled and squeezed him again, "I like it… have you ever noticed most gay guys have great rear ends?… I managed to get a straight guy with a great butt… the women are jealous. So, yeah… I really like it."

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"I could drag you into the room right now and have my way with you."

"Uh huh… you're way too pregnant for that."

She smiled coyly and took his hand leading him to the room, "We'll see."

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"Hey," Olivia smiled and flopped down on the couch next to her son, "whatch'ya listening to?"

"The news."

"The news? That's boring," she smiled and tickled him until he laughed and pleaded for her to stop, "alright, geeze." She chuckled and kissed him, "I need you to do me a favor."

"Yeah?" he grinned, "What?"

"You're dad and I want to go for a walk and spend some time with one another-"

"To do sex?"

"H-wh-what?" she furrowed her brow and sat up, "Honey… we're going for a walk."

"Alone?" He furrowed his brow in curiosity.

"Yeah… so?"

"Isn't that what older people do when they're alone?"

She smiled softly, "Um-."

"What's sex? What do you guys do?"

_Holy crap_.

"Huh?"

"With sex," he asked her innocently, "How do you do sex? Is it like kissing a girl? Is it simple?"

Olivia ran her hand through her hair and took a deep breath, "How old are you again?" she asked and as soon as she asked it she wondered why she had, she knew perfectly well he was ten.

"I'm ten, mom," he chuckled, "You sound different… scared. What's wrong? Is sex bad?"

_God, please strike me dead. Send a bolt of lightening from on high, and make sure it hits me right between the eyes._

"No… but, can we talk about it later?"

"Why?"

_Because I'm not ready for this conversation. Because I'd rather eat a Madagascar cockroach than explain this to you_.

"Because it's getting dark now and you know your dad doesn't like to be out in the dark. Can we talk about it later?"

He exhaled, "I don't think you want to tell me. I can hear it in your voice. Maybe I'll ask dad."

_Go ahead, I'm sure you'll run into the same problem_.

"Okay," she smiled, "Can I get that favor now?"

He chuckled, "Yeah."

"We're gonna go for a walk. Isaac is napping and I fed Solomon and put him to sleep… Hannah is in the playpen."

"Will she stay in it?" he asked and she could already see his nervousness.

"Unless you want to play with her."

He exhaled, "No… not yet… but, maybe… maybe I'll talk with her."

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"So," Olivia smiled as she pushed Elliot along the shoulder of the road, "how's the Kama Sutra reading coming?"

Elliot laughed and slowed the chair to a stop, "Uh… it's interesting," he grinned as she walked around to stand in front of him.

"Yeah?" she waggled her brows, "Care to share?"

He narrowed his eyes and arched a brow, "I put post-it notes on the ones I want to try… I left it on your night stand."

"Tell me."

"Nope… I want it to be a surprise… your pick. I don't want to know until we're doing it."

"Really?" she smiled and gently sat in his lap. "What would you do if I took you right now?"

"On the side of the road?"

"Yeah," she nodded softly and kissed his mouth. "Would you like it?"

He swallowed hard, "Uh… duh."

She laughed into his neck as a car passed by, "Yeah, I think _he_ would too."

Elliot kissed the crown of her head as he began to slowly wheel them along the path, "When we're together again-"

"Yeah?"

"I want it to be slow."

"Slow?" she groaned, "Elliot… I don't think I could go slow… not the first time."

"Please… let's promise right now… I want it to be slow and I want it to go all night."

She smiled up at him as the terrain crackled under the pressure of his chair, "Elliot… don't take this the wrong way but,… let's not make this into some incredible night… I don't want you disappointed if it doesn't go the way you want."

He grinned down at her, "Oh… it's gonna go the way I want. You're gonna scream my name and ask me for more… and I'm gonna give it to you."

She cupped his face and kissed the corner of his mouth, "Just let me know when."

"Whenever. I'm ready."

She arched her brow, "Whenever?"

He grazed his thumb over her nipple, "Whenever."

She covered his wrist with her hand and swallowed hard. "Is that the makings of an erection?"

He grinned cockily, "Absolutely… better take my mind off of it because making love to you right here, right now, is starting to sound very good to me."

"You really want me to take your mind off of it?"

"Yeah… unless-"

"Sam asked if we were coming out here to have sex."

He paused a moment, in shock. "That worked faster than I expected."

She laughed against him, "Elliot… he was asking me all these questions… we're in for it."

He exhaled rubbed his hands over his face, "I thought about this when we had Isaac but… I thought I had at least eight or ten years to prepare."

She laughed again and kissed him, "He's very curious about sex right now."

Elliot groaned, "I don't know if I want to go there… it's gonna be tricky with him."

She exhaled and nodded, "I know… think we should double team him?"

"I think… you should handle this."

"Me!" she stiffened, "Why me?"

"Liv… do you really want me, a male, to have to explain to Sam where a penis goes and why?"

She groaned and dropped her head to his shoulder, "You've got a point."

He exhaled, began to push them again, "What's he doing right now? "

"Well," she exhaled, "If everything is going as I planned… he's having a heart attack."

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"Shh, Moses," Sam said over Hannah's crying, "stop howling!"

Moses looked up at Sam, tilted her head as she maneuvered her small body closer to the playpen to peer in side at the creator of such noise. She angled her head toward the ceiling and began to howl louder as Hannah began to screech and stand, holding the side of the playpen.

"Moses!" Sam bellowed, "Stop! You're freaking her out!"

Moses stood on all fours and wagged her tail frantically before pouncing on Sam, her little puppy body nesting comfortably in his lap. Hannah continued to cry uncontrollably, her hands rubbing her eyes as her snot gelled over her lip.

Sam took a deep breath and moved the puppy, "Sit, stay, do whatever," he muttered, "Just shut up. Please." Moses made a final yap and Sam chuckled, kissed her softly and rubbed her belly, "Smart Alec."

He left the noisy puppy and sized up the next creature. Her cries were familiar; usually when she was like this his mother would have to feed her. He'd fed Solomon with the bottle and lately he'd learned how to spoon feed him, but he refused to have anything to do with his sister. "Why didn't mom feed you before she left?" he asked her.

Hannah blubbered and reached for him, he stayed still, unable to see her motion but, when she cried harder for him, more desperate, he moved closer. Hesitantly, he let down his walls, "Shh," he whispered and slowly made his way to her small back, rubbing her softly just as he'd done countless times with Solomon, "Shh," he cooed as she hiccupped, "It's okay, mom and dad are coming back and they can hold you and feed you and do whatever you want. But you've got to be a big girl and wait for them."

She wailed.

"Hannah," Sam said softly, "please stop crying. I'm not going to hold you and I'm not going to feed you so stop."

He heard her hiccup, take in a ragged breath and scream louder, the noise vibrating in his ear drums. Moses joined in the fun and began to howl from the couch as Zeus finally made his way into the living room barking frantically at the racket.

Sam placed his hands over his ears, "SHUT UP!" he shouted. The dogs stilled instantly, Moses whimpered and plopped herself off of the couch and stood close to Zeus who tilted his head in confusion but quickly responded when Sam ordered him away. Moses yapped and followed, uncoordinated puppy steps following confidant guard dog strides as Hannah continued to holler.

Sam growled, rubbing his hands through his hair forward and back and finally decided that the only way to keep the other kids quiet so he could eventually listen to his CD was to feed her. Reluctantly, he gently pulled her up, "Geeze," he groaned and held her firmly on his hip taking quick steps to the kitchen, "You've got to weigh like an elephant."

If he could see his sister, he would see peace instantly settle over her features as he held her. He would see her eyes curiously watch his face as he walked her to the kitchen and placed her gently in the highchair. If he could see his baby sister he would see the extreme trust and wide eyed curiosity her brown eyes possessed as she watched him open the utensil drawer and feel for the curiously shaped spoon with the rubber coating.

He heard her giggle, her hands clapping as he opened a cupboard and felt just as his mother had showed him with Solomon, the first row was fruit, second vegetables and third stuff she said was meat but didn't smell too good. "What do you want to eat?" he asked her, "I think you'll like fruit, until mom gets home," he said and pulled out a jar opening it. "Yeah, banana's… let's see, mom says a vegetable, but I'm not doing the meat stuff… it smells really bad Hannah, believe me, you don't want it," he told her and opened another jar and took a whiff, "Ah, gross!" he groaned, "That's definitely the green beans, you need that to be strong like mom," he said and pulled the oversized shirt from the next drawer.

His mother had told him to wear it, he didn't understand why, until Solomon had sputtered peas all over his favorite tie. He slipped into the shirt and when he couldn't find a bib he simply opted to tuck a hand towel into her shirt, "Kay," he said and pulled up a chair like his mom had showed him, "Now… I haven't fed you before, but… I think you're like Solomon so… just eat, Okay? Nothing gross. He spits at me, don't do that."

She giggled and kicked her feet under the highchair. He'd already forgotten what jar contained what and wasn't willing to take another whiff. Deciding it wouldn't matter he plunged the spoon in one jar then the other, unknowingly dropping some onto the tray and gently reaching and touching her chin with his other hand, "Open wide," he said, dropping his voice instantly just like his mother and father did, "Here comes the plane," he chuckled and inserted the spoon, feeling her tug slightly with her mouth and let go. He smiled to himself, touched her lips with his finger and brought the spoon back across cleaning up the excess.

She smacked her lips, offered her brother an, "Mmmm," in appreciation.

He smiled to himself and continued to feed her, "You're pretty easy with food, I remember when you were super small and you hated to eat… you used to make mom so frustrated and worried."

Hannah kicked her feet again and slapped at his wrist as he offered her more food, he felt the slime of the food and knew he missed some on the tray but, for once, in too long, he was… enjoying his sister.

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"Lingerie? Really?" Olivia chuckled as they began their trek back to the house.

"Yeah… we've never really gone that route yet."

"You never asked… have you always wanted it?" she asked as she pushed him.

"Yeah… I think you would look so sexy in a pale pink teddy or maybe a tan one… maybe white… maybe-"

"I think just a teddy would do for you, huh?" she chuckled, "I didn't figure you for that… I thought you liked the boy shorts."

"I think the boy shorts are hot too, but I'd love to see you in a teddy."

She laughed aloud, bent low and kissed his neck, "I love you, Elliot."

He reached up, cupped her face behind him, "Well, what's not to love?"

She laughed hard and finally started to push again, "So… you're not going to tell me anything about your Kama Sutra selection?"

"Uh… they'll be enjoyable," he laughed.

She swatted him playfully and retrieved her ringing cell phone.

"Wow," he grinned, "I'm starting to think you like Barbie Girl… why haven't you changed it?"

She laughed and answered, her eyes going wide with shock as the voice on the other line panicked.

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"Solomon hates this part," Sam said and ran a damp cloth over Hannah's face. She fussed but let him clean her as best he could. He felt about her face and groaned, "You got it in your hair," he shook his head, "Solomon puts it in his hair too. I don't know why but, you two are weird."

She giggled, popped her lips and clapped her hands over her face as Sam released her from her high chair and while his first thought was to lower her immediately to the floor and be rid of her, he found himself walking with her to the radio, "Buble," he said and turned the radio on, "Aunt Alex got me one of his CD's, you'll like it," he told her and sat on the sofa with her next to him. "See, this is good music… not that rough stuff. Isaac likes mom's cell phone music… it's girly though, you might like it." He said and soon found his arms pulling her into his lap and rubbing her back gently as she rest against her brother. Safe. Protected. Loved.

The door to the house opened quickly and somewhere between sleep and wakefulness Sam heard his parents clamoring around but was too tired to care exactly what was happening. He tightened his hold on his sister and simply slept.

"Elliot," Olivia whispered and pointed to the couch, "look… it worked."

Elliot grinned, "You set him up?"

"Yeah," she smiled, "I didn't feed her on purpose and I prayed she'd act up… from all the food in her hair, I'd say he really tried."

Elliot exhaled, "They look really good together… they look like, nothing ever happened to separate them."

She draped her hands over his shoulders and rubbed his chest, kissing the back of his head, "It'll just keep getting better… I don't want to wake them but if we don't get a move on-"

"I know," he smiled, "but let's get this picture first."

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Pain. So. Much. Pain.

Alex groaned letting her head fall back on the already sweat soaked pillow, "I hate you Robert. I really do," she panted and held her belly.

He chuckled, "I love you so much… you're doing really good. The epidural will kick in and you won't feel anyth-"

"Shove it up your ass, Robert."

He laughed harder and kissed her hand, "You can be a little rough, you know?"

She pulled her hand away and groaned, "I swear… If I'd known that having sex with you today was going to end in labor… I'd have done it a long time ago!"

"I'm flattered… that I could do that to you," he grinned completely un-offended by her behavior towards him.

"Don't be!" she snapped and bit her bottom lip as she cried out in pain again, "I swear, Robert… you ever come within ten feet of me with anything that even _looks_ like an erection and I'll castrate you!"

"Honey," Robert whispered and perched next to her, "I love you, and I can only imagine the pain you're in but, he's coming so fast and we'll have him soon."

She sobbed and hid her face into his side, "Robbie… this hurts so bad."

_Robbie?… She calls you that when she's scared out of her mind. _

"It's okay to be afraid of the pain, it's okay," he soothed her and kissed her sweaty forehead, "It's okay, Alex… but don't be afraid that he's not gonna make it okay? He will."

She cried harder and held tight to him, "Robert… if he doesn't-"

"He will… no more talking about 'if he doesn't'… you still haven't thought of any names."

She clenched her teeth, groaned at the pain and panted, "Robbie?"

"Yeah?"

She shook her head, "Robbie… something's not right."

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"Kids?" Olivia asked as they continued to move about frantically.

"Check," Elliot smiled, "I got them strapped into their seats."

She turned to him and smiled softly, "Really?"

"Yeah," he grinned proudly, "First time I did it on my own and… it wasn't shaky or anything. I feel good."

"Let's go!" Sam yelled as he bolted between them and out the door, "Alex is having a baby!"

Olivia and Elliot laughed, "Good to see him so excited about something."

"Yeah," Olivia smiled, "It is… you ready to go and welcome another baby into the world?"

He grinned and spun himself around in his chair, "Yep… let's go see what this little boy is all about."

"El-" she exhaled and closed the door.

"Yeah?"

Hesitantly, she reached out and laced her hand with his, "Don't… let this eat at you, okay? Promise me?"

He looked up at her as the made their way to the ramp, "Eat at me?"

"The baby factor… me and you. Let's let this just be about them."

He grinned, pulled her into his lap and raced down the ramp, "Those were my intentions all along."

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"Paul!" Casey yelled, "Honey, jump out of the shower!" she said as she frantically threw together a diaper bag for Addison and yanked a clean shirt over her body, "Hurry up!"

He stumbled naked, out of the bathroom, hair still dripping with water, "What's wrong?" She paused her motions, took his body into careful appraisal and found herself blushing. They'd just made love when he came home from work and she wanted him all over again, "I think you just wanted to see me naked… you should have jumped in the shower with me."

She grinned and licked her lips, "Uh, I think I really enjoy seeing you this way," she smiled and closed the gap between them. She kissed him softly, "But, we've really go to go, Alex was in labor."

"Was?"

She exhaled, "Robert called, he's crying and he's upset."

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"Robert?" Elliot furrowed his brows the minute he saw his friend sitting in the waiting area outside of the room Alex was supposed to be in, "What's going on? Casey called us as soon as we got on the road."

Robert exhaled. Shook his head, "I promised her, man."

"Robert?" Olivia sat next to him, balancing Hannah on her thigh as Isaac, for some reason, immediately crawled into Robert's lap and rested his head on his shoulder.

Olivia was going to push for information but when she saw Robert's hands embrace her young son and hold tight to him she withdrew, passing Hannah to Elliot who now held both of their babies as Sam flanked Robert and wrapped his arm round him, "It's gonna be okay, Robert," Sam told him, "God told me so."

Robert sniffled, wrapped his am around Sam and sobbed with both boys in his lap, "Did he tell you that?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded softly, "He told me that babies are his gifts to people and that you and Alex will hold your gift and know that He's real."

"Sam," he whispered to him, "I'm sorry but, I don't know if God is real, and if he takes my baby… I'll never believe in him. Never."

Without missing a beat Sam squeezed him tighter, "When you hold His gift, you will. Always."

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"Where are they?" Casey asked sliding to a stop in front of Olivia and Elliot as they held their children.

"They just let him into the operating room."

"The baby is still alive?" Paul asked hopefully as Addison reached out for Elliot and giggled sitting on his lap next to Isaac who grinned at the little boy.

"Yeah… it's uh… the heart beat keeps dropping," Olivia whispered and wiped at the moisture in her eye, "they prepped her and after Elliot gave the nurses a ration of crap-"

"They let him be with her," Elliot smiled softly and kissed Addison on the head as Isaac tried to tickle the youngster. Elliot grinned and tickled Isaac, kissing him tenderly as well. Casey sat down and helped Olivia with Solomon and Hannah.

"Think the baby is gonna make it?" Casey asked softly.

"I don't know," Olivia exhaled, "Robert said she was scared to death and they couldn't get her to calm down. Robert had to be removed by a security guard… she wouldn't let go of him when they took her… it added stress to the baby and the heart rate plummeted even more."

"She'll blame herself," Casey whispered, "if that baby isn't perfect with ten little fingers and ten little toes… she'll blame herself."

Olivia exhaled, and kissed Hannah softly, "And if the baby doesn't make it at all? Then what?

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"Robert," Alex whispered groggily, "please don't let him die."

"He's not going to baby," he smiled sadly. "I promised you, remember?"

She exhaled and gnawed on her bottom lip as the doctor's began to tell her they would start. It had all happened so fast, one minute her husband was making love to her, tenderly, softly and he was holding her, basking in each other's post-orgasm haze and the next minute she was in pain, being hooked up to monitors, phone calls being placed to friends, to out of state family and she'd never been more scared in her life.

She had been anxiously awaiting Casey and Olivia's arrivals, wanting to share this with them, wanting to share the welcoming of her son into the world. She had been reaming Robert and trying to deal with the pain when the doctor's administered an epidural, 'just to be safe.' She knew then that something might be wrong but, when they tried to separate her from her husband and the nurses voices became more and more concerned and the security officer and doctor removed Robert from her, she knew… without a doubt, that she made the right decision in not selecting a name.

"I'll have your son in sixty-seconds," the doctor's voice crashed into her thoughts.

_We'll see our dead son in sixty-seconds_.

"You'll feel some pressure but he's coming.

_He's dead_.

"Did you think of a name?" Robert asked softly.

The tears slipped out of her eyes and she wondered if this was the type of fear Olivia had when she was laying on the table, having her body cut so she could bring Hannah into the world. She wondered if Olivia felt the same terror running through her body.

"Got him!" the doctor announced as the nurses hustled.

Silence fell.

Robert looked up as the doctor's held his son.

"Robbie… why can't I hear him? He's dead isn't he?" Alex began to cry and a nurse quickly tried to sooth her. The nurse's voice and Robert's gentle whispering bled so deeply into her ears that she almost missed it.

Her son's cry.

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The doors opened and all eyes were on Robert who held his hands high over his head, "He's here!"

Like little league parents, the group erupted into laughter and congratulations as babies slept, resting on shoulders, hugs were given, tears were shed and Robert quickly sought Sam out, "Hey," he sniffled and kneeled in front of him.

"Hey," Sam waggled his brows, "Told ya."

Robert laughed and pulled him into a hug, "I love you."

Sam chuckled and hugged him back, "I know… and you'll love your boy too."

"I do. I love him so much," Robert whispered.

"Did you hold him?" Sam asked.

"I did… only for a few seconds before they took him, but I held him."

Sam smiled, "So you believe, then?"

Robert nodded softly, "How can I not?"

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Robert bent low, nuzzling his wife with his nose until her eyes opened and slammed shut, sobs instantly erupting, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry,"

"Sorry?" he whispered and cupped her cheek, "Why?"

"I lost him… I … I … he didn't make it."

"Then who's this?" he smiled softly and stretched next to her, watching her face grow wide with amazement, "They gave you some good stuff… it's been a few hours, Al."

Her blue eyes went large, her brows flexing in awe as she peered down into the blue blanket swaddled around her son, "He's perfect."

"He is," Robert whispered, "he came out just fine… they cleaned him up, ran some test, but he's perfect."

Timidly, she ran her finger along his cheek, "I thought… I thought I lost him."

"No," Robert smiled softly, "he's right here… take him."

"No," She shook her head and held to Robert's bicep as she continued to marvel at the little boy whose mouth opened and closed reflexively.

"It's okay," Robert smiled, "It is… take him, he's probably wanting some grub."

She grinned, accepted their baby and cried the instant she held him, "Wow… look at him."

"I've spent the whole time you were asleep looking at him and I still want to see him again… do you want me to get a nurse to help you with feeding?"

"No," she smiled, "No… don't tell them I'm awake. I don't want to be bothered, but I want to see the Novak's and Stabler's did they make it?"

He smiled, "Yeah, you know they wouldn't have missed it… Don't you think someone should show you how-"

Alex laughed softly, "I've been through babies with Olivia and Casey… what did you think those coffee sessions were about all this time? Sex?"

He grinned, "I thought you might be telling them how awesome I was."

"Oh," she grinned adjusting her gown, "that was definitely said, but… they were also preparing me for this," she smiled, cradled her son close to her body, he latched on and she smiled, "See, I'm a pro."

He laughed, kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around them both, rubbing his son's back with his fingertips as he watched him eat, "What's his name?"

"I don't know."

He chuckled, "Yes you do… you've had something floating around in there," he said nuzzling her temple.

She did have something in mind, she smiled down at her son, "Thomas…I liked that name."

"Can I have the middle name?"

"As long as it isn't Alex," she whispered and kissed his forehead, "I've never fallen in love at first sight, but… this… this is amazing."

"Never? What about me?"

She laughed "I saw you at the conference… you had mustard on your shirt."

"And it turned you on." He teased, "That's why were here, it's all over the mustard."

She grinned up at him, "I hate mustard, it almost cost you."

"Yeah," he smiled "but you love hot dogs… that's all it took, was me buying you that expensive six dollar hot dog and you were mine."

"Only 'cause you put relish," she smiled and leaned into him as Thomas continued to eat.

"Julian," Robert whispered.

"Isn't that a girl's name?" she furrowed her brow.

"Isn't Alex a guy's name?" he teased.

She chuckled, ran her finger over dark brown locks and smiled, "Thomas Julian Gray… I like it."

"Hey," Olivia peeked in from the doorway, "do we get to see?"

"Come in!" Alex said brightly but weakly, "Come in, bring the whole crowd, quick before they kick people out!"

And in filed the whole crowd, babies, toddlers and young man and old friends, "Baby!" Isaac pointed and jumped in glee, "Baby! I want to see!"

"Easy," Elliot smiled and picked him up to stand on his legs as he wheeled the chair to the bed, "See, look at him, huh? He's huge."

"Big!" Isaac grinned, straining to look at the infant, "Sam Sam, lookit! A baby!"

Sam smiled and made his way along the bed, feeling until Robert guided him the rest of the way, "What's he look like, Robert?" Sam asked.

Robert smiled, guided his hand to the baby's cheek as Alex covered as much as she could and Sam touched him gently. Robert whispered softly in Sam's ear, "He looks like a perfect gift from God."

Sam smiled and withdrew his hand, "What's his name?"

"Thomas Julian Gray… is that strong?"

Sam grinned, "I think… I think one day, you'll realize that's a super strong name."

Robert ran his hand through his hair, "You're too deep to be ten."

"I'm growing," Sam smiled, "Mom had to buy me new pants yesterday, 'cause she said it looked like I was expecting a flood."

Casey laughed as Paul hugged her from behind and all eyes locked on the newest member of this circle of friends and family, "We should have another one," Paul whispered and Casey smiled up at him but didn't answer, instead simply rested in his arms.

"I got dibs," Elliot smiled and sat Isaac on the bed, "let me hold that little guy."

"Little?" Robert shook his head, "Nothing little about him."

"Here," Alex smiled at Robert and covered her self as she offered their son to him, "let him."

Olivia could tell her husband was anxious but she couldn't tell if it was from being able to hold new life or if it was because he wouldn't be able to give life again. He took the small bundle in his arms and his face lit up with a happiness she hadn't seen from him since the attack. "Wow," he whispered as he held Thomas out in front of him, "he's huge," he chuckled and Olivia kneeled next to his chair, with a curious Solomon in her arms as Casey held a sleeping and unconcerned Hannah in her own arms.

"He's beautiful… your genes didn't stand a chance, Alex," she chuckled as a crowd formed around Elliot's chair and friends smiled down at new life, as Elliot and Olivia smiled down at a little boy that they both knew offered the entire group a sliver of light in a sky that had been filled with far too much black.


	53. Chapter 53 Where Lovers Tread

Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter 53: Where Lovers Tread

"You look like a new mom," Olivia smiled and helped Alex sit on the couch as Casey held Thomas securely in her arms.

"What gave it away?" Alex chuckled, "My dirty house, the bags under my eyes or my zombie-like state for the past three weeks?"

"No," Olivia laughed, "it's the trail of spit up on all of your shirts… screams to everyone you've got a new infant at home."

Alex laughed and eyed her son in Casey's arms, "That little boy has made me smile every second of every day… he's my own personal miracle."

Casey grinned and sat down, "He is a cute little boy… he's putting on the post-birth pounds."

"That's because he never lets go of my breast, sometimes it's every hour… I'm dying to get some sleep."

"Then go to sleep," Olivia smiled, "Casey and I will help you around the house and we'll entertain the little guy until Robert gets home with my boy… you know… uh, Sam hasn't wanted to go with anyone by himself for a long time."

Alex smiled softly as she curled up on the couch, "I'm not sure what Sam told Robert but those two have been talking quite a bit… Sam calls him at work to see how things are going with Thomas... calls Robert to remind him to read to Thomas at night."

"Really?" Olivia grinned, "I didn't know that."

"Yeah," Alex chuckled sleepily, "it's enduring… and while… I wouldn't normally do this… I'm so tired-"

"Sleep," Olivia smiled, "We'll do the rest."

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"Hey buddy," Elliot grinned, standing behind his walker, "how was it with Robert?"

Sam furrowed his brow at his father's voice, "You lied to me."

"What?" Elliot shook his head, "What did I miss?"

Olivia shrugged as Sam walked away, "First thing he's said since he came home with Robert…. Sam come back here."

"NO!" he screeched. "He lied to me! You both did! It's bad stuff! It really is!"

She exhaled and ran her hand through her hair, "What in the world is he talking about now?"

Elliot smirked, "Probably your meat loaf… it really is bad, Liv."

She looked at him with narrowed eyes and punched him in the arm. "It was a new recipe!"

He laughed and side stepped his walker to embrace her from behind, "See how confidant my legs are moving?"

She grinned and wrapped his hands tighter around her waist, "Yeah… you look good as new."

"Well… I had a pretty elicit dream about you during my nap time," he whispered and kissed the back of her neck softly.

"Yeah?"

"Mmm hmm, woke up with a pretty confident erection… when are we getting rid of the kids? I can't wait anymore," he whispered and rubbed into her backside, "I want you Liv. I have to have you."

She grinned, turned to kiss him, "You have no idea how much I want you, too."

"Why are you making me wait then?" he smiled and let his hands caress her bottom, pulling her closer to his body, "I don't want to wait anymore, why are you making us?"

_So we're absolutely sure this goes the way you want it to. I couldn't stand it if you pulled away from me again. _

"Foreplay," she smiled, "come on, let's go see what's up with our boy."

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"Sam?" Olivia called into his room, "baby come on out here, so we can talk to you and let Isaac sleep."

"I'm not talking to you ever again!" he snapped.

She walked to him and instantly picked him up, "One day, I'm gonna pick you up and I'm gonna break in half you're so big… We had an agreement young man… no more silent treatments. You know I can't stand it."

He exhaled and wrapped his arms as tight as possible around her, "I heard it mom… I heard it and it sounds very bad."

"What does?" she asked and sat him down on the couch where Elliot was waiting for them.

"I don't want to talk with him here."

"I'll leave-"

"No," Olivia shook her head and motioned for Elliot to stay. "Nope," she told Sam, "You've been doing so well with Mags. You've been talking with her and you've been talking with us and you went with Robert today-"

"I don't want to talk about Robert or the computer or Clint or the movie!"

"Whoa, hold on," Olivia shook her head, "What's the deal? Robert said you had fun and you got to go through the videos at the education center while he read a little, he said you didn't want to play chess with the other guys in the recreation room, because you ran into a classmate…. Is that what this is about?"

"He showed me. I heard it!" Sam insisted.

"Son," Elliot reached to touch him and Sam immediately withdrew.

"Don't touch me!" he warned and pushed his back against his mother's chest, effectively shielding her with his body, "and don't touch my mom ever again!"

Elliot furrowed his brow, looked at his wife who was equally as confused, "Sam-"

"Don't!"

"Honey," Olivia said calmly, "what's going on? What happened today? Robert told me you were having fun and then you were very upset but wouldn't tell him why. He said he let you listen to movies and songs… what happened?"

Sam exhaled and dug his hands into her forearms as if Elliot might attempt to take him away, "Clint Williamson sat next to me at the computer… when I was listening to a DVD… it's the only computer that had my programs on it to help me or someone has to do the work for me."

"I know… what happened?" she encouraged.

"He's not from my classroom. He's maybe… two grades higher than me and he never likes to talk to me but he talked to me today and he asked me what I was listening to."

Gently, she pried his fingers away from her, his nails leaving behind indentions in her skin. She wrapped her arm around him and let him lean into her side, "What did you say?"

"I told him that Robert had told me about a chess movie about Bobby Fisher and that was what I was listening too."

"And that upset you?" she asked in confusion and looked up at Elliot to make sure she wasn't missing anything. He was focusing on his son, careful to keep quiet.

"No," he shook his head.

"What did, then? Because, if you could see your own face, you'd see a very angry little boy."

Sam licked his lips and he rest his head on Olivia's shoulder, "I asked him… if… he knew what… sex was."

Olivia arched her brows in surprise. She'd hoped his curiosity would have diminished in time for her and Elliot to come up with something, to talk to Mags and even Vivian but they'd slacked, big time. "Honey… did you go to the internet?"

Sam exhaled, "He said he could find me a DVD about it or he could show me a site that had sound… so I could hear on the earphones."

Elliot groaned and rubbed his hands over his face, "They don't have filters there?"

Olivia flopped back on the couch and exhaled, "You know its public information Elliot. They can't do the restrictions like we can here."

"Yeah but-"

"No," Sam told them, "No, I told him I'm not allowed on the internet unless I'm at home and he laughed and said he'd find me a movie then."

"Honey," Olivia exhaled, "You can't get those types of movies there."

"Yeah," Sam shook his head, "he said all you had to do is go to the library search engine and type in a movie that you knew had sex in it."

"You did that?" Elliot asked not wanting to know.

"Clint did… and he found the movie and he played it after he got it from the shelf and it sounded really bad mom. I asked him what they were doing," Sam whispered and shook his head, "Dad does that to you? He hurts you?"

"No," Olivia said softly. "No… honey, what movie did you hear?"

He sniffled, "He said it was 'An Eye For An Eye', I thought it was from the bible but it wasn't like the Learning Chanel, like you guys let me listen to… he was hurting her so bad. I could hear it in my head phones."

Her mind raced to catalogue the events of the movie and she panicked when she knew immediately what he must have heard. "Baby-"

"Why does dad hurt you? You said that dad would never hurt you. You lied to me,"

"Honey-"

"Dad," Sam cried, "you said that when a man and a girl get married everything is better… why do you hurt mom? I know now. Mom doesn't get sick so much, does she?" he sobbed, "You're hurting her and making her sound like that."

"No," Elliot said firmly, "No. I'm not hurting her."

"He doesn't hurt me," Olivia told him softly. "He doesn't. I promise you. Do you think I would marry him if he did?"

Sam sniffled and sobbed, "She was hurting and I asked him what was happening and he said he was _humping_ her that he was putting his d-i-c-k in her… that's a bad word."

"It is," Olivia said and gently stroked his hair. "Honey… I'm sorry we didn't sit down with you and talk to you… you've misunderstood some stuff-"

"But, mom!" he screeched. "I asked him what they were doing and he said they were doing sex!"

She closed her eyes and groaned inwardly. This was her fault, if she would have just swallowed her nervousness and answered his questions they wouldn't be in this mess. "Sam-"

"I asked him to explain the movie to me and he said he was using his penis… that's what I have… and he said that girls are different and that guys do that to them all the time and that she was yelling because he was _inside_ of her body and that sometimes boys put their penis in other boys."

Olivia rubbed her temple as Elliot looked on in bewilderment. Some punk kid had taken away whatever innocence about sex Sam had left, "Where was Robert?" Elliot asked.

"The yelling was too much and I threw the headphones down and ran away to him. He picked me up and it was quick, he was close to me and I asked him to take me home. I almost wet myself. But, he loved me and he kept me close to him and we left so fast," he confessed softly. "Why does dad hurt you? I heard it some times but… you said you were sick. You weren't, were you?"

"No, baby," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I wasn't."

His face fell, "Make him leave for hurting you."

"He didn't hurt me. He doesn't hurt me, he never has."

"But, I heard you!"

_And you have no idea how embarrassing it is to know that. _

She closed her eyes and wished for a quick death, "Honey, like I said... well, do you remember what I said about believing everything from television or everything people tell you?"

"Yeah?"

"This is one of those things."

He furrowed his brows, "I'm really confused, mom."

"Son-" Elliot was cut off when Sam refused to acknowledge him.

"Your father is talking to you," Olivia reminded him. "He's not gonna hurt you."

"I heard the movie. He said they were doing sex."

"Sam," Olivia exhaled, "there's more to sex than what you heard, that's not a good place to learn about it, I-"

"It's true!" he yelled in anger, letting his nostrils flare. "That's what it's called? Christoff used different words, but he was doing sex to me?" he asked in anger. "Was he?"

"What?" Olivia looked at him sharply, "What? Sam… what's on television isn't true-"

"Mom," Sam spoke her name eerily calm, and shook his head, "you can't tell me it wasn't real."

"Samuel-"

"You can't."

"Why?"

"Because she yelled, like I yelled, and no one helped her. Just like no one helped me."

Olivia's sob erupted, finally putting two and two together, "Honey… television… it puts together things that have happened but it's not always true and-"

"He was doing sex to her?" he asked and she could hear the exasperation and anger in his voice, "Was he?" he demanded.

Olivia looked desperately for help from Elliot who was covering his mouth in an effort not to cry, "He was but… it's not what your father and I do."

He swallowed, his chin began to quiver and a brokenness she'd not witnessed before graced his features, "He was making her yell like my grandpa and daddy made me… Christoff used different words, but… he was doing sex to me, wasn't he?"

"Sam-"

"Answer me," he whispered and rested his fingertips on her face as his tears fell steadily. Quietly.

She blinked out her own emotion, "Yeah, baby… but what you heard wasn't just about sex."

"Christoff called it abuse… is that what was happening?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded and gnawed on her bottom lip, "honey, what happened to you… it was bad-"

"What's it called?" he asked, and it scared her that his voice was more curious and even than anything else.

"Sex?"

"No… you said it was different… if it's different, if there are two kinds of sex, one for you and dad and one for me and grandpa… what's it called? What did grandpa do to me?"

"Honey… what you heard on the computer and what your family did to you… that's… Sam, please don't make me do this-"

"Tell me," he whispered, "Be my eyes, mom… I don't know what happened on the computer, but I know what I_ heard_ and it sounded bad to me… it sounded like _me_. I didn't like the noise and it would hurt my heart to see it… maybe that's why God made me blind, so I could never see it… but maybe that's why he let's you see… so you can tell me."

She licked her lips and sobbed. She framed his face and kissed him soundly on the forehead, "Baby," she sniffled, "what happened to you is a _type_ of abuse… called rape, and it's not about sex at all."

"Dad hurts you?" his voice turned more curious and she didn't know rather or not to be concerned with his sudden switch or to go with it.

"No," she shook her head adamantly, "No. Absolutely not. He doesn't. I promise."

"Why do you sound so funny?"

She winced, "Uh… well, see. Hmm, I don't really know how to explain this to you, Sam."

"Does dad do sex to you?"

Elliot wanted to die and knew from Olivia's expression that she'd just as soon climb into a hole than have this discussion, "Um… yes… he does."

"You _like_ for him to do sex to you?"

_Wow. This is uncomfortable_.

"Yes… I trust your father with everything I have and I know he won't hurt me that way."

He furrowed his brow, "Some people do sex and some people do rape?"

_Digging my own hole. _

"They're two different… okay," she exhaled, "When someone rapes someone, that means they've had sex with the other person without them wanting too and it's wrong and it's illegal and it hurts people very badly… it breaks their hearts."

"And when people do sex? What happens?" he tilted his head and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt.

_Just put that shovel full of dirt right on top of me. Yeah, there ya go._

"Usually… when people have sex, it's because they love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together."

"You let dad do sex to you because you love him?"

"Yeah," she confessed, "because I love him and I promised him I'd spend the rest my life with him."

Sam's poor face bore confusion as they'd never seen on him before, "You like for dad to hurt you?"

"He doesn't."

"But it sounds like he does!"

She exhaled. _Do I hear a dirt truck coming?_.

"Sam… uh, sex is very intimate and it's natural for married people to have sex."

"Why?"

_Come on! Give me a break_!

"Well," she continued, "It uh, that's the way women get pregnant and that's the way married people get as close as they can with one another."

"Only married people do sex?"

_Sonova- _

"Uh… it's always best to wait until you're married."

"Why?"

"Well… it's so special that you want to give that to only one person."

"But… what if someone did rape to you? If doing rape to someone means you had sex with them and they didn't want to… how do they do sex when they get married?"

_Why didn't I see that question coming a mile away? Oooh, it is a dump truck._

She exhaled, "I won't lie… sometimes our hearts do crazy things when we've been hurt super bad, but… remember? I've been hurt just like you… and I married your father, and we… uh, have… sex."

_Lot's of sex_.

Sam mulled the information over in his head and just when she thought she would be offered a reprieve, "Does sex feel good?"

_How do so many questions come out of a little boy like you? Why do you insist on thinking so much? _

"It does… and when it's between two people who love each other it's even better but… rape… that hurts people, honey. It breaks their heart and it takes a long time for them to recover and smile again. When you make love to someone it should never hurt… it should always feel good."

"Is that why you sound funny? Like when Hannah eats and she makes those noises 'cause she's happy?"

_I'm soundproofing our room and I'm never making love in this house again_.

"Yeah… being with your dad, makes me happy."

Elliot rubbed his neck, he felt sorry for Olivia being in the hot seat, but for once, he wouldn't change positions with her for anything in the world.

"Dad?"

Elliot's eyes grew wide, _oh no_.

"Yeah?"

"You don't do rape to mom?"

"No." Elliot told him confidently but couldn't help save his voice from cracking, "no. I love her, I'd never do that."

"You don't hurt her?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Is this why I wake up and my body is doing weird things?"

_Oh, safe question_.

"Yeah… it's natural."

"Did you wait to do sex until you were married, dad?"

_Damn…it._

"I'm sorry son, I didn't."

"Did mom?"

Elliot had never felt shame about his previous life before Olivia but, the way innocence was asking him had made him turn away from him, "Yes, she did."

_More confusion. Great. This poor kid, we're screwing him up_.

"Mom waited and you didn't? Why? Don't you love her as much as she loves you? Why wasn't it special to you like it was to her?"

"Honey," Olivia jumped in, "I just wasn't ready to make decisions like that, that's all. I wasn't ready because of all the time my heart had hurt. The hurt you felt when your grandpa hurt you… that's the same hurt I felt and that's why I chose to wait until I knew I was absolutely in love with someone… me and your dad, we dated for a long time and we got married and it was just as special for him as it was for me."

"Dad?"

_Am I wearing a bulls eye or something_? "Yeah?"

"Do I have to have sex with Crystal?"

_Well, not if I lock you in your room until your sixty. I saw you kiss her, that's too much_. "Are you planning on marring her?"

"When I'm old like you," he smiled.

_Old? Now I'm old_? _When did that happen?_ "Sam… I think you're a very young boy who needs to sort out a lot of stuff before you take on something like sex… that's a big thing, that's a commitment that comes with responsibility and you need to know that you'll always be with that person."

He shook his head, "You guys are confusing."

Olivia bit her lip and exhaled, "Sam… you're so young… you've got a lot of time to do other stuff before this should come up."

_No pun intended. _

"So, if I love Crystal… and she loves me… I date her and marry her and… I do sex to her?"

_Is this a nightmare? Please let it be. _

"Um," Olivia exhaled, "well… when you're older… you know, you may not marry Crystal-"

"Yes, I will! We talked about it! She said yes!"

_My baby boy has just been stolen from me by a ten year old_, "Son… I was in my thirties when I married your father… you're ten… a lot can happen in twenty years."

"Yeah, we'll love each other _more_!"

_Why has the dirt truck not buried me yet!_

She smiled softly, "Honey… you kissed her… don't you think you're a little young to be kissing a girl? I mean… what about cooties? What happened to cooties?"

He chuckled, "Crystal doesn't have cooties… Kissed?"

"At your party… we saw you" she teased him.

"No," he shook his head. "No, that was a kiss to take away her pain… you know, like when you kiss my scars when I ask you to."

She furrowed her brow, "What pain did she have at your party?"

"She said that when her mom took her shopping for my new tie that a lady kept starring at her face… I said she was pretty."

Olivia grinned, "So where'd the kiss come from?"

He blushed, "She said that the lady had touched her face and said, 'what ashamed, such a pretty little girl and she'll never be kissed… so," he shrugged, "I kissed her."

Elliot smirked, "You kissed her?"

"Yeah," Sam shook his head, "She's very beautiful… I think she just needed me to prove it was all."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'd like to kill that Clint kid," Olivia said as she snuggled into Elliot's embrace.

"Little snot-punk, I'd like to choke him… but," he exhaled "the sad thing is that that kid is probably so desensitized he doesn't know what's happening in that movie, so… it's pointless… did you call Robert?"

"Yeah… he feels terrible."

"Ah, he shouldn't…. you can't keep your eye on him every single second. I learned something tonight though. Two somethings, actually."

"Yeah? What?"

"Well, first… have you noticed how much easier it is to talk to kids about sex when they aren't your kids," he laughed, "That was so embarrassing!"

She chuckled, "Yeah… considering I was doing the majority of the explaining."

He smirked, kissed her softly and gazed at her before continuing, "I learned about our boys… they're personalities. I mean, we leave Isaac alone for five minutes and we're scared he's either gonna take over the world or burn the house down, but… we leave Sam alone and we're scared someone's gonna walk all over him… hurt him. Isaac's two, Sam's ten… sometimes I'm more afraid for Sam than Isaac."

She exhaled, "Sam's special… handle with care."

"Good thing he didn't connect walking in on Alex and Robert with him hurting her… Sam would have lost his mind."

She smiled sadly, "Robert just said he was very upset… Robert was frantic when he got home."

"It's not his fault."

"I let him know we weren't upset with him, he sounded so relieved… He said Thomas spit up on him again… they're loving parenthood… I'm gonna start torturing them about the 'sex talk'… that was so brutal."

Elliot exhaled, kissed her forehead, "You're telling me… did you call Mags?"

"Yeah… we can take him in tomorrow."

"You think we screwed him up anymore?"

She shook her head, "I have no idea, but… I hope I didn't somehow convey to him that it's okay to just go out and have sex, that it's not special."

He let moments of silence pass as he gently stroked the space between her shoulders, "Liv?"

"Yeah?" she asked and when there was no response she pulled back to look at him, "What?"

"Nothing… go to sleep."

"No… you were gonna say something, spill it."

"Do you ever regret… I mean… you've never asked how many women-"

"Shh," she whispered and covered his lips, "I don't want to know… as long as I'm the last one, I don't care."

"Really?" he asked and searched her for honesty.

"Have I ever made it an issue with you before?"

"No… have you ever regretted-"

"No," she smiled, "It's uh… pretty good to have experienced hands on my body. If I'd married someone with my own capability we'd probably still be trying to figure out how to come together."

He laughed and pulled her closer, "You're more than capable, but if you want, I can give you a refreshers course right now."

She grinned at him, "Did you not just witness the most humiliating conversation ever? We need to sound proof this room or really make sure Sam is asleep, the kid has great hearing."

"Well," he grinned and tickled her side, kissing her neck as she squirmed, "You're not exactly quiet."

Her eyes went wide as she laughed, "You don't give me reason to be quiet," she whispered and kissed him, softly, "That's a good thing, by the way."

He laughed against her shoulder, "I love you."

Olivia smiled, exhaled softly and kissed his lips, "Elliot?" she asked and he heard the nervousness in her voice.

"Yeah?"

"Do you regret… me?"

He grinned, "I've told you a million times, no… I'll make it a million and one… I do not regret marrying you, in fact," he exhaled, his face grew serious, "I wish I could have given you the same thing. It's amazing to know that I'm the only one that's been intimate with you… I wish I could have given that to you, too."

She smiled softly, "You showed me patience, trust, compassion… you showed me I could be made love to… don't regret anything you've done. I didn't exactly save myself because I didn't _want_ to be intimate with people… there were circumstances involved, but I have to say… I love that you're the only one that's touched my soul like that."

He grazed her hip with his hand and sipped softly on her bottom lips, "Did you think… you'd never be made love to?"

She exhaled and blushed, "So… this conversation just took a turn for the serious."

He smiled, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay… no… I thought _eventually_, I'd have sex, but… I never thought someone would make love to me."

"You want to know something?" he asked and pushed her hair behind her ear.

She grinned, "A secret?"

"Yeah… you tell anyone and you'll be taking a dirt nap."

She beamed, snuggled closer so they shared the same pillow, "Tell me."

"I never knew that they were different."

"Who?" she furrowed her brows.

He blushed, "Uh… making love and having sex… I never understood the difference until… I made love to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he smiled softly. "You might have been nervous, but I was absolutely petrified and the moment I entered you, the moment I felt your unspoken trust… everything changed for me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He has seen his wife break in half for victims, he has seen her break into several pieces for him, but he has never seen her shatter into a million pieces until today. Sam lay curled in her arms, as Mags excused herself to let them cry. She'd told them that today would be Sam's true beginning, that it was today that he finally understood what happened to him. For, it was never really about the rapes themselves. Perhaps, for Sam, it was more about the feeling of never being desired or loved, of always being hurt emotionally and physically. The rapes would absolutely burden him, there was no question but, it seemed that the abuse and neglect was what weighed him down so much.

Sam knew what it meant to not be loved, he had no idea what rape meant, he had no idea of the aftermath it left on someone's life. But, today, he understood it. He understood with his entire being what had happened to him and as Elliot sat next to his wife and son, his cane that had just been issued to him that morning resting between his legs, he hoped that was all it would ever be, just a knowledge of what happened, but he also knew it would never be _just_ a knowledge. He knew it would never be just that. Not after seeing this. Not after seeing realization dawn on Sam's face.

Mag's had broken down the definition of rape and abuse and slowly, over the course of an excruciating hour, Sam had finally understood the ins and the outs of what happened to him. It wasn't just the touching, the pictures, the beatings and starvation periods, it was more. It was rape. Why it had never penetrated Sam after the long nights of confession, why reality had never hit him full-on during the nights his wife had held him, he didn't know. All he knew was that today, thanks to some Clint kid, his son was completely broken in his mother's arms.

And one more thing was abundantly more definable. Olivia. He saw his wife with more clarity because he had learned through his son that the feeling of being unloved and neglected, the feeling of never being wanted was more powerful, more devastating than the act of rape. He watched his wife as she rocked their son and soothed him with her voice, in a new light. She was raped yet it was the feeling of being unloved and unwanted by her mother that truly devastated her.

The rape made her question her body, her trust and capacity to be a lover but, her mother's inability to love her made her question her own heart and for the first time since he'd known her, he could see the devastation her mother stamped onto her life, but he also saw something far more beautiful, he saw the _reconstruction_ of her life, he saw his foundation of love that she has planted her feet firmly on, and while it has taken a long time for her to stand in the middle of that foundation, she's never stepped off of it.

He saw their children in her fallen tears, saw their children and his love for her as beams that have supported her and helped her to keep standing through everything that they have endured, and as her slender fingers ran through their son's hair he saw a survivor caring for a victim, a fighter caring for the wounded.

Both wife and son sobbed, holding tight to one another and he simply slipped his arm around her, rubbed Sam's back gently and offered them his love, his tears and his unconditional support.

He'll never raise a victim, he won't. Can't.

But, he'll do everything in his power to raise a survivor.

A fighter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You look exhausted," Elliot smiled and walked to her, his elbow locked as he bore his weight on the cane.

"I'm so tired," she yawned, "But… he finally fell asleep."

"He's been crying all day," Elliot whispered and ran his knuckle along her cheek, "So have you."

She exhaled slowly and leaned into him, "He asks a lot of questions… but, I think most of it was handled in Mags' office today. I think he just needs to cry now, get it all out. He's broken."

"Which just means… we've got to rebuild him, now."

"It's amazing what understanding something can do for you… I'm not sure why we never thought about just sitting down with him and being blunt."

He wiped at her tears again, "Maybe it was because we were trying to build his trust up and crushing him wouldn't have done it."

"Maybe," she exhaled and smiled softly, her hand on his waist band, "you look so good standing up."

"I feel good," he grinned. "I think I'll put the walker away and maybe keep the chair for our long outings."

She cupped his bearded cheeks, kissed his mouth and exhaled resting against his forehead, "You amaze me every second of every day… thank you for marrying me."

He chuckled, "I'm pretty sure I'm the one owing thanks, but… right now, I'm just concerned about Sam."

She kissed him again, took a small step closer and rested her chin on his shoulder, "He's gonna make it. I have no doubts now… he fell asleep right now and you should see it Elliot… he's got this peaceful look that he's never had before, it's so beautiful… like when Isaac was home from the hospital, do you remember?"

"Yeah," Elliot smiled softly and leaned his cane against the counter as he wrapped his hands around her waist and very slowly, very cautiously began to rock back and forth.

"Are you dancing with me without music again?" she asked playfully.

"Yeah… without my cane, too," he said softly and rocked gently with her in his arms. After several minutes he broached a different subject, "Ricky called while you were with Sam.

She froze, "O-oh yeah?" she stammered.

"Is he okay?"

She pulled back and looked at him, "As far as I know… is something the matter?"

"You tell me… he asked if you'd talked to me about 'the money situation'."

She cringed, "Uh… yeah, about that."

"Yeah?" he smiled, "Does he need a loan? Is he having trouble with the gym? He said something about buyers lining up."

She groaned, "Do we have to talk about his right now? I just want to dance with you. I want you to have your hands on me."

"They are," he kissed her softly, "and we don't have to stop dancing to talk… is he okay? You know that I've considered him my friend, too… I can out fish him," he chuckled, "I'm sure we can put something together to get him along."

She shook her head and exhaled "You don't understand."

"What don't I understand? Is this why you've been stuck in our financial planner forever?"

She looked at him dead in the eye, her rocking had stopped, but she continued to hold him around his neck, "Yeah, yeah it is, actually."

"He needs a _lot_ of money?"

"Um…" she looked away, "yes and no."

Elliot arched his brow, "That sounds confusing."

"He asked me what I was studying… I told him and he uh… offered… to uh, make me, uh… his business partner, sort of."

Elliot grinned, "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Do it."

"Excuse me?"

"Do it," he told her again and kissed her, "Come on Liv… you're taking all of these crazy classes and you're good handling money… do it!" he urged her.

She furrowed her brows, "I don't think you understand… he wants to sell me his business. We'd own it but for the first three years we could only keep eighty percent of the profit. I'd work the books and all of that… it would let me work at home and then I'd use the remaining twenty percent to pay him."

"Huh?"

She chuckled, "He's moving, he's finally getting married, which I might add, I didn't think would ever happen, but he is and he wants to move and open another gym… he needs money to do that. Thus selling."

"So… you're sort of investing?" he asked and reached for his cane to support himself again.

"Yeah… only… well, Elliot… I've went through our finances, we'd have to completely use everything we made off of the apartment, sale all of our stock and if we want to own it outright, without help from a bank… we use what's left of the money Munch left us."

"Would we have enough to get buy, until it turns a profit?"

"Yeah… the business does very well, Elliot and that's because it's small and private... there are bills that come with it, property taxes and electrical bills and water bills and-"

"Sounds like you're talking yourself out of it."

"I don't want to put us in a situation that jeopardizes the family, financially."

"But, you just told me it makes a good profit."

"It does."

"So?"

She exhaled, placed her hands on her hips and looked down, "I'm nervous about it… we're talking a lot of money here, some of which I've scrimped and saved since I had my first job… what if it's a bad choice?"

"How long has it been opened?"

She looked back at him, "I think he said it's going on its twelfth year."

"Sounds like it's established… I think you should do it."

"It would be just me Elliot… it would be you and the kids… everything would be riding on this… what if it falls through and… what if we lost the house or-"

"Liv," he smiled softly, "we both agreed when we got married we'd never use the house as collateral or take a loan out on it or anything like that… what is stopping you from doing this?"

"It's a big decision!" she snapped.

"Hey," he smiled and took her hand, "Come on, let's sit and talk it over, huh?"

She took a deep breath and followed him to the table, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"No big deal… you've known Ricky for a long time?" he asked and carefully lowered himself to the chair with Olivia's help.

"Years."

"He's always been a good guy to you?"

"Yeah," she nodded and claimed her own seat, "he's always been. Never given me reason to question him."

Elliot leaned back in his chair, "So… let me understand, he wants to sell you the gym facility and you'd be business partners with him… keeping eighty percent of whatever is made?"

"Yeah… I've run the figures… after bills are paid and staff was paid… we'd be making considerably more than what you and I pulled down when we were on the force."

"Liv… if he's been a good guy and has never given you reason to doubt him… maybe he's trying to get you to take this… so you can be better off, so we can be better off."

She exhaled, rested her chin in her palm, "What about the kids?"

"What about them?"

"You'll eventually want to get some type of job, won't you? I mean, I'm not pushing you too, I'd love for you to be home all the time, but we both know you'd go stir crazy… I don't like that Mrs. Reynoso gets to spend more time with them than we do… I've enjoyed being home with them and having them drive me nuts."

"I told you," he smiled, "I'm gonna do the gig for SVU, I'll be home a lot and… come on Liv, we can work things out, I won't need a normal job, I can stay with them or we can both take them to work or we can… we'll work it out, Liv."

"I don't want to leave them, anymore. I don't like it."

"Liv, you know what I think?"

"What? Please tell me," she said, genuinely wanting his opinion.

"I think that if he still wants a piece of your profits… he knows you're capable of running it and making it prosper. I also think that if he's willing to sell one so he can build another then he's very confidant in his product… I think this is a win-win deal."

"Two."

"What?"

"He owns two… the profit that he's keeping would pay off the balance left on the second one and me doing his books would add to that… he says the staff that runs both have all been with him a long time. He said they're capable of running the gyms on their own, he just likes to be there… it's two Elliot, we'd run two… different story isn't it?"

"No," Elliot shook his head, "If he could do it as a single guy… I'm sure we can do it as a team, right? Besides, with all the cops we know… you're bound to get more business, right?"

"It's so much money Elliot, I mean, you think I've got us on a tight budget right now… we'll be hurting for months trying to recover if we deplete our bank account like that."

"Olivia… think of the good you can do there… you can create a youth center if you wanted to, you could develop his martial arts program… you could provide self-defense for women and hopefully Carp and Fin and Mac won't have so many clients. Think of it as preventative measures."

She smirked, "You think I could do all of that? You think I could still make a difference without being a cop?" she asked softly, "You believe in me that much?"

"I do… you know what else I think?"

"That you married a crazy woman?" she grinned.

He took her hand in his and smiled softly, "No… I think that you are so scared of what's in the bank that you're letting it stop you from taking a risk… that's not the Olivia I know. The Olivia I know, would say, 'balls to the wall' and dive in… It's blind faith, remember?"

She shook her head, "No… no matter how much I want to do this, I'm not risking our family's finances and security on it."

He exhaled and tilted his head, "I think you're hiding."

"What?" she pulled her hand away and furrowed her brow, "Why would you say that?"

"I think you're using us to hide from _potentially_ making a mistake. I think you're so scared of doing something, other than being a cop, that you're using us as a scapegoat… that's not right."

"El-"

"We'll put up the house," he told her, "Discussion over."

"Elliot!" she pulled back, "No! You just got through saying we agreed to _never_ do it."

"Then empty the bank account…. Either way, you're making this deal."

"No."

"Liv," he exhaled "I've never, ever flexed my muscle as the leader of our home. You've been such a good woman to me and you've done things that I didn't realize were possible, but I'd be jerk to let you let this go… you just told me you wanted it. Take it."

"No."

"You don't understand," he whispered and caressed her cheek, "I'm _telling you. _You're. Taking. It. I'm not arguing with you. We're one, a team, which means half of what's in the bank is mine too and so I have a say in this and I say, yes. Do it."

"Elliot-"

"Either way you look at it, one of us is calling Ricky," he said and reached for the phone, placing it on the table between them, "the only question is, who's calling? Me or you?"

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"Hey," Olivia smiled down at him, "relax."

"That guy keeps staring at me…" Elliot exhaled. "I have half the mind to launch this can of spinach at him."

She chuckled as she pushed the grocery cart with both Hannah and Solomon strapped safely in the seat, Isaac opting to ride in his father's lap as Sam followed with his hand on the side of the cart, "Hand me the weapon," she smiled and took the can, tossing it in the basket, "who cares about him… he's the one that looks freakish to me."

Elliot smiled, "Hey, look at this," he said and opened the frozen food glass door and wrote her a note on the fogged window, _I love you_, he penned backwards with his finger and she tossed her head back and laughed.

"Yeah?" she grinned and opened the adjoining door. She smiled and penned her own message, _You're sexy_.

He blushed and wheeled backwards, "I'm leaving before someone calls security."

"Chicken," she chuckled and grabbed a sac of frozen vegetables before wiping her hand over the phrase and following him, "Can't take the truth or what?" she asked, deliberately looking at the man that had made Elliot uneasy, "Guys are just jealous because you've got that amazing chest and they've got nothin'."

The stranger smirked and walked over to the dairy section.

"Mom, can we get ice cream?" Sam asked as he held onto the corner of the basket.

"You mean… more than the ton you've already sneaked into the basket?" she teased.

"Dad told me too!" he protested and Elliot stared at him with his mouth open.

"Way to throw me under the bus, Sam," Elliot chuckled and adjusted Isaac who was fighting sleep, "Hey, come and push your old man while I get Isaac to go to sleep."

Sam obeyed with a smile and settled behind his dad to slowly push him, "Sorry, dad."

"No problem," Elliot chuckled. "I'll sneak some more when she's not watching."

"Heard that," Olivia piped in, grabbing a bag of rice as they made their way down a new aisle.

The stranger seemed to follow.

"I must have an amazing rear end," Olivia said as if talking to herself, "sure am glad no ones following us to look at it," she said sarcastically and raised her brow at the man suggesting he go watch some other circus show, because her family wasn't on the bulletin.

They made their way to the check out stand and she groaned, "El, I forgot the eggs… I'll be right back. Sam knows how to unload and run the credit card if you need help."

"Okay," Elliot smiled and watched her trot quickly to the section. Anger flashing in his eyes when he saw the same stranger leave the line next to them and follow her. He'd kill him.

Olivia found her carton of eggs and marked it off of her shopping list, holding the pen in her mouth as she inspected the eggs.

"Excuse me, I couldn't help but to-"

"Stare and follow," she mumbled around the pen. "It happens… more so when you happen to be an inconsiderate jerk," she smiled as if engaging in simple conversation rather than releasing a verbal assault.

He blushed, "Uh… I deserved that."

"Hey," she shrugged, "At least you have some understanding."

"I just… you're so beautiful."

She narrowed her eyes at him, her jaw slacking and almost dropping the pen. She took it from her mouth, still holding the opened carton, "You are aware that was my husband and _four_ children right?"

"Yeah," he smirked, and crammed his hands in his jean pockets, drawing attention to the bulge in his pants, "but, uh… I'm pretty sure I can give you something he can't."

She smiled softly and took a breath, "It has been awhile."

"I'm all about no strings… if you'd like."

She grinned, "Sounds interesting, enough… want my number? I can give you my cell… that way he doesn't know… I don't want to hurt him, you know? After the accident that's all he needs."

He smiled like a horny kid, "Uh… yeah, yeah, I'll take you're number."

She grinned mischievously, "Uh I'm out of paper, but uh… hold these?"

He let her rest the open carton in his hand as she wrote on the inside cover, "You'll have to buy these."

He looked down at her penned note, _Kiss my ass, _but before he could ask what was going on, she pushed his hand up, effectively mashing the carton of eggs into his chest. He gasped as yolk ran down his chest combining with the whites and dripping slowly to the floor.

Olivia grabbed another carton, opened it and retrieved a single egg, before he could protest anymore she smashed it firmly on the crown of his head and smiled as the egg dripped down to his brow, "How does it feel to have people stare at you?" she asked and simply walked away with her carton of eggs. She smiled at the young stock boy next to the cereals, "Uh… there's a man in the dairy… looks like it's gonna be a wet clean up, he had an accident."

"I'll get right on it, Ma'am."

"Thanks so much," she smiled and returned to her husband. She handed him the carton as the cashier continued to ring up their groceries.

"Liv," Elliot looked up at her, "there are only eleven eggs in here."

"Uh… yeah, I… dropped one. The stocker is cleaning it. It's fine."

He nodded and let the cashier do his thing. She smiled to herself as they left the grocery store and, like a little kid, she pushed the cart as fast as she could and stepped up on the bottom rung, flying through the parking lot with Elliot wheeling hot on her heels, Sam and Isaac in his lap until they stopped at the car.

"You certainly are wired," Elliot laughed out of breath.

She grinned down at him and chuckled, "Haven't done that for years… beat you."

"You cheated… I have the boys."

"I had the babies… two for two, El." She chuckled and popped the hatch, watching as Mr. Egg Head exited the store taking his shirt off as he crossed the aisle.

"There's like an eighty pound difference, Liv." He protested, "And I'm all beaten up."

She eyed the man who had enough audacity to still stare at her from two cars over. She bit her bottom lip as she looked down at her smiling husband. She angled Elliot's chin up and kissed him, ran her tongue over his lips as seductively as she could at her awkward angle. Her hand cupped his cheek her other stroked his chest as Sam groaned and slipped off of his dad's lap, muttering how gross they were. She deepened the kiss, his hand resting on her bottom. She looked over Elliot's shoulder as she continued to kiss him and shot the stranger a dangerous and angry stare to which he instantly turned and got in his car. She smiled against Elliot's mouth, sipped from his lower lip, "I love you."

He panted, "Uh… not that I'm complaining, but… what was that for?"

She cupped his cheek, rubbed his bottom lip with her thumb, "Just… I love you."

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October came and went like nothing the Stabler's had ever witnessed, perhaps it was Elliot almost having a heart attack when Olivia broke the news she was taking Sam to his first voice lesson, or perhaps it was the insurmountable amount of paperwork they had to sign to become owners of gyms and partners with the man who'd done the hard work of establishing them. Perhaps it was the growth that both Olivia and Elliot noticed within themselves and within Sam, who after his breakthrough with Mags, after gaining a true understanding about what happened to him, he seemed more content to fight, to open up and to, for once… live.

They couldn't tell you why on earth they just emptied their bank accounts and stocks to buy a gym business, but perhaps that was the growth they were experiencing as a couple, perhaps, taking on something other than being a cop, perhaps settling in and being a family was truly what they needed. To get away from the Richard Whites and Nick Ganzners, to spend time with one another and nurture their children so they didn't become the aforesaid.

They didn't take a loan out on the house and she has never spent more sleepless nights lying in bed, wondering if this business endeavor was the best idea, she knew nothing about owning a business, she knew nothing about advertising and the actual knowledge needed to run a gym, pay staff and make a profit. She'd literally worried herself sick, more than once, and while she and Elliot still haven't made love he's shown more and more interest and desire in her as October fell into November and so today she knows that when Elliot comes home from his first consultation with SVU, the only part of them that is still considered cop, his desire will become reality.

She slipped out of bed preparing the last arrangements of her plan and quietly gathered the kids one by one until all were peacefully sleeping in the SUV.

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"Liv isn't here?" Fin asked as he pulled the car up to the Stabler home.

"No," Elliot exhaled "she said she was taking the kids to visit with Alex and Thomas… Robert had to go out of town and Alex didn't want to be alone… she stopped by the gym, she's getting a leg up on all the paperwork and trying to keep the managers on her side so they don't bail… she's stressed but you know what? I've never seen her so happy… she likes dealing with money entirely too much," he laughed and looked out the window to the dark house. Worried.

"Gotch'ya," Fin smirked, "You gonna be okay, getting your crippled body in the house?"

"I'll beat you with this cane."

Fin laughed, "It's good to have you around again, Stabler."

Elliot exhaled, "You know… when I went in this morning, I was apprehensive."

"That's to be expected, don't you think? You've been out for awhile."

Elliot looked up at his house, envisioned his children playing, his wife waiting for him, " I thought I'd miss it, but you know what? I don't. Not at all. I enjoyed helping you guys on this case, and I'll continue with the consultation jobs, but you know what? I missed my kids, I missed Liv, being home with them… if my legs worked well enough ever again, if I could ever carry a gun again… I wouldn't go back. Not a chance."

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His legs hurt as he walked through the door and really, all he wanted was the Tiger Balm. That stinky, ointment that took all the pain away. He wanted to lie down and rub it deep into his legs and go to sleep and when Olivia finally got home he wanted to pull her close and continue to sleep. He loosened his tie and hanged his cane on the edge of the counter top moving slowly but confidently to the refrigerator in hopes she'd left him dinner.

She left him something else.

He smiled, pulled the recent magnet picture of Sam holding Hannah off of the envelope and opened the flap. He pulled the simple stationary out and smiled at her sloppy handwriting…

_Call Number_

_Give Address_

_Use Key _

He arched his brow and used the chord-less to make the call, when a cab company answered he immediately looked at the card-key and chuckled. Things just gotten interesting. He gathered his keys after relaying the address to the dispatcher and waited impatiently.

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"So, you're gonna stay and help me out?" Alex smiled down at Sam who was holding six-week-old Thomas in his arms.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna help you because I had lots of practice with Solomon and Hannah. I'm a professional now and Moses woke up all night long for food, so I'm a pro at waking up in the night time too."

Olivia laughed and kissed him on the crown of his head, "I love you… you have the hotel's phone number in case you get nervous, right? But remember, that you promised me you'd call only if you were super scared or something was really wrong right?"

"Right. I'll be okay," he assured her. "I will. I'm going to help Aunt Alex and me and Thomas are going to have fun."

"I want stay!" Isaac grumbled from the couch and folded his arms in a huff before jetting out his lower lip and looking up just to make sure someone was paying attention to him.

"Sorry, honey… but Alex needs help and you said you wanted to go play with Addy."

"Addy!" he giggled and quickly jumped off the couch grabbing his coat and moving to the door, "Mommy Go! I want go!"

"He really likes Addison, huh?" Alex smiled, "Think he'll like Thomas when he gets bigger?"

"No doubt," Olivia smiled and took him carefully from Sam, "Everyone is so in love with this little boy… he's amazing. I think he's just what everyone needed, a little piece of happiness."

"He's funny around three a.m." Alex smiled and waited for Sam to walk away to put his bag in the spare room, "So… you and Elliot… tonight?"

Olivia grinned, "Uh… that's the plan."

"Think he suspects?"

"No. I think it'll surprise him… he asked me to shave his beard and cut his hair when I thought we were ready… I didn't so, he really had nothing to go by."

Alex chuckled, "Will I get a sordid story out of this?"

Olivia blushed, "I've got to get these guys to Casey's."

"Hey," Alex smiled, "What about my story?"

Olivia smiled over her shoulder, "Coffee, Monday six O'clock. Bring Casey… you'll get your story."

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She really did go all out on the hotel, in fact he knew she probably debated for a long time rather or not to drop so much money, but here he was, in a honeymoon suit. He smirked imagining her in a teddy as he inserted the key only to open the door to no one, "Liv?"

No answer, "He wheeled himself further in, closed the door behind him and parked his chair, opting to use his cane while indoors.

Hot tub. Score! He grinned and narrowed his eyes at the turned-down bed, a note folded on the pillow. He made his way to it, the plush carpet making his steps a little more uneasy but he soon found the right rhythm to make it to the bed which, to his surprise, bore their comforter and pillows.

She'd been here.

Sneaky.

He looked around, didn't see anything particularly interesting that would give the night away but he did pick up the note revealing a small tin of soothing balm and read her instructions.

_Strip. _

_Use me. _

_Sleep_.

He exhaled in disappointment, he'd assumed this would be the night she made love to him, but alas, she'd let him come here to sleep and rest. He groaned and smacked his lips before slowly following the instructions and walking to the restroom to wash his hands of the messy substance. He flipped the light on and grinned at the small photo of her tucked in the frame of the mirror.

Maybe this wasn't about relaxation at all.

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She slipped into the hotel room as quietly as possible and placed the bag of food on the counter, her bag along side of it and smiled at her husband who was sound asleep, naked with the covers pulled back to his waist. She'd finish setting up the room while he slept and prepared the bathroom where everything would start… if she could control herself that long.

It was somewhere between lighting the second of three candles just after she'd run scalding water for a bath, that she heard him stir. She lit the last candle and closed the gap between them as his eyes fluttered under their lids. She kissed each lid softly, "Hello," she whispered and grazed his lips with hers and when he only hummed against her she trailed her hand softly down his abdomen until she met his length and kissed him again. "Wake up," she said softly and stroked him from the very base to tip before tickling his inner thigh. His smile gave him away.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled.

"Just seeing if you followed directions," she whispered.

He finally opened his eyes to look at hers and if it were possible to become erect and come in a split second he would have done it. Her eyes swam with want and it was all geared toward him and he couldn't be more turned on than what he was right now.

"You get my picture?" she asked as she trailed soft kisses along his neck, sucking momentarily on the line of his collar bone.

"Uh huh," he smiled and rested his hand on the small of her back. "That feels nice… what if a maid saw that picture?"

She grinned against his chest, ran her tongue in a wet circle over a freckle, "I'm sure she wouldn't care."

"What if it was a guy… he'd of taken it," he smiled and rested his palm on the back of her head as she continued to kiss his body, "You're going to kill me aren't you?"

"No," she shook her head softly and ran her finger along his hardening length, "maybe just give you a little stroke."

He sucked in air and grabbed her wrist, "Uh… you're going to make me come… it's been a long time, Liv… I uh… I'm still sort of learning how to control myself again."

She smiled, kissed her way back up his chest, "What if I told you," she whispered and flicked her tongue over his un-attended nipple, smiling when he hissed, "that tonight is all about you loosing control," she said and straddled his body with her jean covered legs. She kissed his cheek, grazed her teeth along his jaw to his ear and added, "Over and over again."

She heard him swallow hard, felt his hand grab her bottom and pull her into him, "Liv… I want you so much… I was having a dream about you."

"Yeah?" she whispered and pried his hands from her body so she could stretch them above his head. She kissed his mouth, trailed her tongue along the seam of his lips, "Tell me it," she said and slowly made her way back along his neck, following the length of his arm.

He smiled and moaned as she ran her tongue along the sensitive skin of his bicep, "Uh… we we're making love," he whispered and groaned at her lips caress, "and you came as soon as I entered you… and you…" he panted as she rubbed into him again. "Liv… you're gonna make me come."

She smirked down at him, "That's the goal… but not yet."

"Then," he swallowed, "you'd better stop touching me like you are… it's too much."

She smiled, kissed him again, "Come on… let's take a shower."

"Huh? No. I want to make love to you… it's been seven months Liv… make love to me, right now," he said and immediately attacked her buckle.

"Hey," she said softly and pulled his hands away. "I want this whole night to be about you, not me… I want to make you come, but I want to take care of you first. I've got food and a hot bath waiting."

Impatiently he moved for her buckle again, "I already had a bath and I'm not hungry."

She held his hands at bay and lowered her body over his, "Yes you are," she smiled and kissed his lips, "and you smell like Tiger Balm."

He groaned, "Why'd you ask me to put it on, then?"

"You'll see," she whispered and rubbed into him again. "You like that, Elliot?"

"Olivia-" his voice broke. "Please. Please let me make love to you tonight."

"Shh," she whispered into his ear, "you will, I promise, but… let's enjoy this. Let me take care of you and love you-"

He framed her face and kissed her, "I just want you," he breathed hot against her, his tongue gliding over her lip before he tangled his hand in her hair and deepened the kiss, he pulled back, panted for air and rested his forehead against hers. "I've wanted you since the moment I woke up in that hospital bed."

She locked her brown eyes with his blues ones and traced his hair line with her fingertips, "And you'll have me," she assured him. "I'll give you me because I'm desperate for you too, but… please, let this be a night where you're the one that's loved more, okay?" she whispered and caressed his cheek, "Do that for me? Let me love you more?"

He furrowed his brows, kissed her mouth softly, "Liv… it's not a competition."

"I know," she smiled gently and ran her fingers along his chest. "I know… but, you've given me so much… I've always felt like you've loved me so much more than I could ever imagine. Sometimes more than I think I'll ever be capable of loving you back… let tonight be a night where you're finally the one that is loved more, okay? Let me take care of you, this weekend, without fighting or arguing or anything like that… let me make love to you," she whispered and moved her hips again. "Let me take care of you, Elliot."

He whimpered at her contact and his hands dug into her hips pulling her deeper into him, "What do you want me to do?"

"Come on," she smiled softly and helped him out of bed. She kissed him playfully, her hands snaking around his body to grab his butt before she led him to the restroom, "You're walking without your cane?"

"Yeah," he grinned as they entered the bathroom and the steam instantly caressed his flesh, "Liv… it's hot in here."

"I know… but, by the time I'm done, the water will be just the way we like it."

"We?"

She smiled, stepped into him and sipped from his bottom lip as her hands found his shaft and her palms caressed him one stroke after the other. Continuous. "I want to take a bath with you… that okay?"

He raised his brows, his chest already rising and falling in noticeable effort, "Yeah," he nodded slowly as her hands mesmerized him in mere seconds, his knees threatening to buckle at her touch, "fine."

"Sit," she smiled and watched as he slowly did so, gasping for breath.

"What?" she asked in concern.

"Uh… cold seat," he laughed and then laughed even harder when she chuckled.

She turned the clippers on and smiled, "Want to finally be rid of that thing?"

"Uh… how about a goatee-"

"You don't have to," she said over the hum of the clippers. "I know you only do it for me."

He grinned, "Goatee."

She smiled, turned the clippers off and leaned into him, cupping his face in her hand in an effort to get one last touch of his scruffy face. She kissed him, felt her own body responding and pulled away softly before she got into trouble. "Goatee it is," she said and began the cut as his hands instantly rested at her hips, his face tilted up, his eyes locked on hers as he sat naked, his hands slipping under her shirt to stroke the flesh he found and when the clippers were finally turned off again, she ran her fingertips over a stubble and was amazed that the simple touch of her hand against his face could encourage his erection even more.

"Where did you hide all of this stuff," he whispered as she began to apply the shaving gel to his face.

"I knew you'd snoop," she said. "I brought it in while you were sleeping."

"I like the candles," he whispered as she made a careful pass of the razor against his cheek, "I don't think we've ever made love with candles."

She smiled, made another pass, "We'll have them with our bath, too," she said pulling the razor against his neck and motioning with her head to the unlit candles near by, "It's all about you this weekend, Elliot."

"You're going to let me make you come, right?" he asked and she almost laughed at his concern.

"Yeah… but not for awhile."

He smirked, "You won't be able to hold out," he told her, "I know you…you can't handle all of this."

She smiled wide, "We'll see," she nodded and used a towel to wipe the excess cream from his face. "You're gorgeous… have I ever told you that?" she asked as she gently caressed his smooth cheek, her thumb grazing the scar that was now visible from his surgeries. It was definite. It wasn't one of those scars you could tell people you got when you were a kid because it faded well. It wasn't one of those scars that looked cool because it was in just the right place.

It stood out.

Served as a reminder.

She trailed her fingertip along its risen path and jumped when his hand flew like lightening to her wrist, "El-"

"Don't," he commanded gruffly.

She peered down into wounded eyes, "Elliot-"

"Don't touch me like that," he snapped and squeezed her wrist tighter in his hand.

"Elliot," she whispered and kissed his hand on her wrist, "Baby… let me go," she said tenderly, "It hurts."

His release was immediate and she simply smiled in compassion at him, "Hey," she whispered and framed his face, "Look at me."

Timidly, his eyes reached her, silently begged her for forgiveness. Begged her to love him, begged her to think of him as so much more than a man beaten and left to die. He wanted to be her lover again, wanted to be her friend, her strength. Her man. "You are so sexy," she told him and kissed his lips, "so, sexy," she whispered and pulled back only inches as she raised her hand, "I'm going to touch you, Elliot-"

"Liv-" he protested with glassy eyes, "please don't."

"I'm going to," she told him again and slowly touched her fingertips to his mangled cheek. She tenderly traced the scar before gently lowering her lips to it, kissing him softly, "Does it hurt you?"

"No," his voice was low. "What does it look like? Bad?"

She furrowed her brow and remembered that she'd let his beard grow while he was in the hospital and even when he was shaven to a stubble, gauze covered it. She pulled back to rest her fingertip along his cheek, "Like a permanent tear… it's maybe three inches… do you want a mirror?"

"No," he nodded softly and pulled her closer, "not tonight. I'll look later, but… I want to be with you tonight and tonight… I feel sexy," he blushed. "You make me feel that way and I don't want to know otherwise."

She grinned, "You feel sexy?"

"Yep," he beamed, "I'm a sexy man… and you are a very lucky woman."

She chuckled, wrapped her arms around his neck, "You have no idea how lucky I am… or how lucky you're gonna be tonight."

"You're gonna make me loose control just from hearing your voice and knowing what you plan on doing to me."

She smiled, grabbed her hair scissors and stepped closer. He groaned, "You're not wearing a bra."

"You barely noticed?" she asked with a smirk and ran a comb through his hair trimming it, surprised when he held her wrist again, "Liv… not too short."

"Really?" she grinned.

"Yeah… I know you like to run your hands through my hair when you come… not too short, I like how it feels when you do it."

She nodded and smiled, "Thank you," she said and cut his hair, trimming it only a few inches. "Do you think you're strong enough to lower yourself into the tub?"

"Yeah."

"Good," she said with a smirk and turned to lite the candles, "let's see." She blew out the match, let it rest next to the now lit candle and reached to turn the light off, smiling when the room fell dark save the candle light and his arms wrapped around her.

"Let me undress you," he whispered and pulled her closer to him, "Let me."

She licked her lips, brought his hands to her waistline and nodded her approval. He had her pants falling to the grown in a gentle stroke, his hands caressing her bottom, "No panties, Liv?"

She smiled, turned to face him and shrugged, stepping out of her pants, "Took 'em off before you woke up… thought I'd give you a head start."

He closed his eyes and grinned, opened them and slowly pulled her shirt off. Her hands resting on his shoulders, a gentle massage given as he appraised her body as if seeing it for the first time, cupped her breast in his warm hands, "You're sweating."

"It's hot in here, remember?" she smiled and lowered her head to his ear, "I turned the heater on too… it's gonna be hot tonight, Elliot."

He looked at her, caught her double meaning and swallowed, "I had a feeling."

She stroked his length, "I'm sure you did… come on, before the water cools."

It had taken a little finessing but he did manage to lower himself into the bath tub, hissing and groaning as the steam and bubbles gathered around his body, "Liv… my legs feel funny."

"It's the Tiger Balm and the water temperature… let it go… it's okay, it's gonna help you to not be so stiff."

He exhaled finally getting situated in the tub, "It feels really weird."

"It's fine," she whispered and kneeled beside the tub.

"Hey… get in here, with me… I never thought I'd get you in a bubble bath with me again… get in."

"I will," she smiled and reached for his shower gel, "I just wanted to help you out a little."

He grinned and leaned back, felt her slick hands cover his chest and abdomen, felt her fingers purposefully graze his erection, his inner thighs and finally his legs. He sucked in air at the curious sensation but quickly relaxed, "Mmm, feels nice. Thank you."

She stretched up, kissed his mouth gently, "You're welcome. Want me to do your hair?"

"No," he shook his head, "Get in here with me." She smiled and stood, watched his eyes as they followed her body into the tub, "Lay against me."

"You sure?" she asked, "I could just sit over here-"

"Here," he said and motioned for her to sit. She did and let him pull her firmly against his body, his erection pressing against her back, his mouth immediately on the back of her neck, "Liv… I want to have you, right now. Please?"

"No," she said and softly stroked his thigh. "Not yet, but soon. I promise."

He groaned, "I just want to touch you. I want to have my hands everywhere," he said and caressed her breasts from behind, "Let me wash you?"

She nodded, moved her hair to the side as he used her bath gel to lather his hands, he massaged her shoulders with his soapy hands, worked his way down her strong arms and crossed over, paying particular attention to her breasts, her abdomen and thighs until he stroked her center. She slapped the water to retrieve his hand, a small splash hitting her face, "Don't," she hissed, "I want you to come first. Don't."

He continued to suck softly on her neck, alternating between kissing and teasing licks as he rubbed her legs with his hands, felt his erection continue to grow, his breathing labor, "Liv, please."

"Let's go eat."

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"Where are the kids?"

"They're safe… we're not talking about them at all this weekend," she smiled and let him adjust himself so he was sitting up in the bed. Naked.

"Dinner in bed? With a naked wife and candle light?" he grinned, "Every man's dream."

She chuckled and crawled on the bed with a small plate in her hand before snuggling close to him, "Actually… I thought we'd skip dinner, tonight."

"Yeah?" he smirked, tipped her face up to him, "Can I have you as my dessert?"

She smiled, kissed him softly, "No… I got you cheesecake."

He smiled, "You got _you_ cheesecake."

"No," she shook her head and straddled his body again, "I told you," she said softly and gathered the food on a fork, "it's about you tonight… it's not cherry," she smiled and held the fork to his mouth. His hands dug into her waist and he moaned as the chocolate hit his tongue, "See?" she whispered and kissed him, licked the chocolate from his lips and smiled against him, "I love you."

"Make love to me."

"I don't want to rush this," she said, kissing him again. Sampling the taste of his mouth, the velvet of the chocolate.

"Rush? It's been too long… I just need to be inside of you. I need to feel close to you and connected again… please, Liv… don't make me wait anymore. I want you to come in my arms, I want to feel you." He held his lips to her ear and whispered, "I want to hear you."

She backed off of him and smiled, "I looked at the Kama Sutra… at the stuff you selected."

"Please… anything. I don't care," he whispered. "I just want to be with you."

"I saw your little side bar about the sixty-nine… were you serious?"

"You said what ever was easy on my body… sometimes it hurts my neck to-"

"Shh," she smiled and placed a finger over his lips, "get your self situated, eat your dessert, I'll be right back."

He'd no sooner consumed the last morsel of chocolate and put the plate on the night stand than he saw his wife standing almost nervously in a pale pink teddy. Her nipples erect through the satin, her thighs barely covered, "Is this… what you-"

"Come here," he smiled and offered her his hand, surprised when she tugged him to stand, "What?"

"Dance with me."

"Dance? I want to make love to you."

She grinned, "We're going to make love. I promise you, but I just… want to dance with you."

He grinned, "I'm naked."

She chuckled, "I know," she waggled her brows and stepped closer, "all the better."

He tossed his head back and laughed, stepping closer and pulling her against him. She moaned feeling his erection against her hip, "You want me, Liv… have me. Let me have you. Right now."

"Dance," she panted and they took careful steps to sway with one another. "Kiss me."

"You're bossy," he grinned but lowered his lips to hers, his tongue gently sliding into her mouth and caressing her own as his hands found their way up her teddy, massaging her butt until she pulled away, rest her forehead in the crook of his neck and breathed hard.

"Elliot… I want you so much."

He smiled and slowly sat on the edge of the bed, "I want you too."

"I had… I-" she lost her train of thought when he lowered her to his lap.

"What?"

"I had… every intention of going slow… but-"

"Make love to me, Liv… I want to come together the first time, I want that connection back, then you can have me anyway you want… but I want you."

Her kiss was frantic and desperate and sweet and erotic all at once and he had no choice but to lower himself to his back, "Ah-" he moaned, "no… not like this… my legs."

She stood immediately, "I'm sorry."

"No… no it's not your fault… I just… I need to be further up."

"Okay," she nodded and waited until he situated himself in the middle of the bed. "Elliot… let me make you come. I want to make you come… I don't care about me," she whispered and kissed him along his shin, letting her tongue caress every scar and blemish left behind as she went further up his body, "Let me," she whispered, "let me be the one to love you more." She made sure to kiss every scar over his chest and legs as she aligned her body with his until her lips met his mouth again.

"Liv-"

She trailed a hot line with her tongue back down his body, "Let me," she told him firmly and kissed the inside of his thigh. "I read your selections," she said softly.

He grinned resting his head on the pillow, "Please tell me this is for real."

"It is," she whispered and moved to the side of him, "What do you want first? Tell me."

"I just want you. I don't care." She grinned, whispered in his ear and pulled back to see his face, "Yeah… that'll definitely work," he croaked.

She smiled, kissed his torso down to his belly button and straddled his middle so she was facing his feet. She looked at him over her shoulder and chuckled at the shock and anticipation of what was about to happen, "Are you sure?" she asked.

He pulled her thighs closer to him and kissed the flesh of her bottom, she walked herself back just slightly so he could rest against the pillows and he moaned against her center the moment her tongue swirled around his head. She never figured him for this position but it was the most intense feeling she'd experienced. His tongue against her core as her lips offered him his own pleasure. She controlled her thoughts not willing to come. She wanted him to break tonight, wanted to let him rest, and then start all over and keep repeating the same sweet cycle.

He caressed her derriere, pulling her deeper into his eager mouth and felt her abdomen caress his, felt the warmth of her mouth glide over his shaft as one hand stroked his thigh and the other massaged his base. He couldn't take it anymore, "Olivia," he groaned and sat up, pushing her forward then pulling her back so she was against him, kneeling between his thighs. The absence of her lips over his swollen erection almost made him want to let her do whatever she wanted, but the thought of being inside of her spurred him on, "I need you. No more play. Let me have you."

She grinned at the intensity of his voice, grinned because he was at his breaking point and she was the one that got him there. She was the one that made his body swell with anticipation of being inside of her, she was the one that was making his heart beat faster against her shoulder blade and she was the one that he was wanting to be with, "You want me?"

He massaged her breast as she leaned against him, "You know I do," he said gruffly and bit playfully at the back of her neck, "I'm going to take you now," he whispered in her ear, "I'm not going to take this off," he said and fingered the strap of her teddy, "but I'm going to lay you down and I'm going to make you scream."

She arched her brows and teased him, "What if I don't scream?"

"You will."

"What if I refuse?" she teased and suddenly yelped when he playfully slid out from behind her and thrust her to the mattress.

"See there?" he grinned as she laughed and covered her face with her hand, "you're already getting loud."

She swatted him playfully, "I wasn't expecting that!"

He laughed, kissed her neck, "Olivia?"

"Hmm?" she responded cupping the back of his head as his lips traveled down her body, sucking her nipple through the thin fabric.

"Can I have my legs back?" he smiled.

She raised her head up and looked at their legs, "I'm sorry," she laughed and brought her legs up so he could finish moving his body to lay beside her, "hey, do th-"

"Shh," he told her and angled his body over her.

"Elliot, your legs."

"Shh," he shook his head and kissed her hard on the mouth, taking in a breath through his nose as she rose up slightly from the pillow and parted her lips, his tongue pressing into her mouth as he leaned on one forearm, gripped her hip with his free hand and adjusted his hips between her legs.

"El-" she gasped when his lips finally separated form hers, "I wanted to make you come first, ple-"

"I just need you," he told her and rested his forehead against her chin, "Olivia, I need to be inside of you. I don't even care if I come, I just… I need to be home again."

_Home. _

She grinned, framed his face and kissed him playfully until her lips gave way into something much more seductive. She let her tongue slide into his mouth without her lips touching his. She coaxed his tongue to come out and play and when he attempted to meet her lips, she pulled back only centimeters and engaged only his tongue, feeling his hand push up the teddy faster than he normally would have. He wanted her desperately and she was done arguing.

She felt him hard and ready and she whimpered against him knowing that her plan was just tossed out the window and the moment that he entered her, she wouldn't stand a chance against him. His breathing was becoming more rapid as he dipped his finger into her, stroked her only enough to make her arch back and separate her lips. He kissed her immediately and even though he felt the pain in his knee, he didn't care. He slipped his now moist index finger between their kissing lips and watched her as she sucked his finger slowly. He closed his eyes, groaned at the feeling of his erection pulsing.

When he couldn't stand it anymore he threw caution to the wind, withdrew his finger from her lips and pressed into her with one swift motion. She cried out in pain, her hands immediately grabbing his chest as her head arched back sharply, her brows furrowed and she hissed in air, "El!" she gasped.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and stilled immediately, "I'm sorry… what happened?" he asked and softly pushed her hair from her face.

She fought for breath, fought to control her body. Fought to accept him, "Um," she took a deep breath and looked at him. She was blushing.

"Liv?" he smirked, "What?"

"Uh… it's been a long time, Elliot," she said shyly. "You're gonna have to take it easy on me the first time."

He grinned, "I forgot… I'm sorry. I just… got a little excited."

She chuckled under him, "It's okay," she assured him and framed his face, "I'm not going to come… not the first time. I want it to be you, I want you to experience everything, every sensation-"

"Liv I wa-"

"You promised you wouldn't argue with me… that you'd let me love you more tonight… please don't go back on your word," she whispered and bucked her hips into him.

He groaned and that one simple action by his wife undid him. He moved over her, his hands supporting the majority of his weight as his hips took on a life of their own and crashed into her. This was what she wanted. She wanted him to not worry about pleasing her, to not worry about giving, just taking and receiving. The heat of the room combined with the heat of their bodies allowed him to slide over her flesh as he moaned and grunted with his thrust.

She framed his face with her hands and it dawned on her that this was exactly where they'd left off all those month ago, with him laboring over her, his body sweating over hers. Him claiming her as his. She wrapped her ankles around his waist, helped bury him deeper as she fought her thoughts, demanded her body not to come in spite of the fact that that was all she wanted. Her body screamed at her for release as his hips ground against hers, his cheek resting against hers, his labored breath warming her ear. She wanted to come. She needed to come. She denied herself.

His jaw clenched as his head dropped and his hips sped up, "Liv," he groaned, "Liv."

She ran her hands over his sweaty chest as his body continued to move within hers, "It's okay," she assured him and watched as he pulled back almost completely withdrawing and pushing quickly back into her, his head falling backwards, his eyes shut as he sped up and gasped with each thrust, whined at the pain in his legs, at the sensation climbing his spine. He dove into her deeper, hearing her whimper as her fingernails dug into his biceps and he suddenly stiffened over her. He yelled out so forcefully the chords of his neck were strained, he seemed unable to catch a breath, his body shook violently above her, but he tried to continue moving as his orgasm crashed over him.

His strides turned useless and uncoordinated and his shoulders dropped. He was so exhausted, but Olivia didn't miss the tear falling from his face as he suddenly buried his face into her neck and sobbed. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek as he cried, "I love you," she sniffled and let her tears mix with his. "You looked so incredible right now," she whispered, "You felt so right," she said and stroked his sweating back with her nails. "I can still feel you… I felt you the whole time and you were amazing."

He sniffled, raised up to look at her, a soft kiss over her lips, "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

She shook her head, caressed his face, "You didn't… I promise," she smiled. "You felt so amazing I was fighting like crazy not to come."

He smiled, sucked softly on her lip, "You should have."

Carefully, she rolled them so he was under her and she slowly separated from his body to lay next to him, "Go to sleep."

"What!" he sat up immediately and looked at her, "I'm not going to sleep… I want more of you… I want to make you come. I want to feel you come around me and I want to-"

"Elliot," she smiled and gently used one hand to push him softly back to the mattress, "we have all weekend to ourselves, "I wanted to make you come first. I wanted you to feel everything, whatever you want from here on out is up to you, but… you need to sleep. Get some rest," she smiled and kissed him, "I'll wake you up in an hour."

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"Wee wee!" Isaac grinned just over the dinner table, "Wee wee!"

"I think he's got to go," Paul laughed and stood just as Casey did, "I'll do it," he smiled and kissed her temple, "stay with Addy."

She grinned as his lips lingered against her flesh and she turned her head to kiss him softly, "Thank you."

He smiled against her mouth, kissed her again and pulled her tight against him, "You're a beautiful woman, you know that?"

She laughed and nodded to the high chairs that contained Hannah and Solomon, "I don't know how they do it… this is harder than I thought it would be."

He pulled back softly and rubbed her biceps, "How are you feeling? Overwhelmed? I don't work this weekend so I'll be right here with you and you don't have to-"

"Hey," she grinned up at him, "I meant… it's hard to feed two babies and two toddlers."

Paul smiled and kissed her forehead, "Oh… but…. Other than that? You're okay?"

"You mean… do I want to jump off of a bridge?" she asked with smirk, "I'm good."

"WEE WEE!" Isaac yelled again and launched his fork to get their attention.

"He's got to pee," Casey chuckled and kissed her husband again, "I love you."

Paul smiled and leaned into kiss her when Isaac groaned and promptly pulled his pants down and off, "Wee wee! No kissy! Yucko!" he told them and moved to pull his boxers just as Paul had scooped him up.

"Oh, no you don't. There will be no wee-weeing in the front room," he teased and rushed him to the restroom.

Addison grinned at his mother from his booster seat of telephone books Paul constructed for him so Solomon could make use of Addison's high chair, "Oooohh," he grinned and pointed at the babies.

"You like them?" Casey chuckled as Addison laughed and clapped his pudgy hands over his face. She laughed and scooted his plastic plate a little closer to him, "Eat up, honey, it's getting late."

Addison continued to stare at Hannah who simply stared back, both erupting into smiles and laughter, "Oh, so you're flirting with her, huh?" Casey smiled and pulled Solomon's chair closer to feed him, grinning at Solomon's wide eyes as soon as he realized food was about to make it's way into his chubby belly.

Casey was so wrapped up tending to three young children that she didn't hear Paul make his way to them standing and soothing Isaac who, after eating entirely too much for his stomach and then relieving himself, seemed to drift off in Paul's arms. He watched Casey as she teased Addison and Hannah while she wiped the spoon across Solomon's lips, "You look good surrounded by kids," Paul said softly.

Casey smiled up at him, "I feel good."

He chuckled, laid Isaac on the couch and pulled up a chair next to her as Solomon carefully smeared his food into his blond hair, "He eats like you."

She elbowed him playfully, "Shut up!"

Paul laughed at her and wrapped his arms around her waist, "We could… try for a girl," he whispered.

She exhaled and leaned back into him, "Paul… I feel good today… I don't know if I'll feel good tomorrow or the next day or the next day after that… I don't know if I could handle another one right now," she confessed.

He kissed her neck softly and held her, "I love you."

Casey watched as Hannah's head bobbed forward and back as she fought sleep in the high chair, "Please don't be upset."

"I'm not, I promise," he assured her, "just 'cause you don't want to have one right now, doesn't mean we can't in the future, right?"

She smiled, reached behind her and caressed his cheek, "Right."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Be careful," Olivia smiled, "you're still half asleep," she teased Elliot who held tight to her as she helped him into the hot tub.

He chuckled as he lowered himself to the step and pulled her quickly over his naked lap, "I woke up because you had your mouth on me… believe me, Liv… I'm completely awake now."

She blushed as the water jets surrounded their bodies, his hands holding her over him, "I told you I'd wake you up in an hour."

He smiled against her neck, trailed his tongue along her warm flesh and nipped her gently, "Are you going to let me wake you up now?"

"Nope."

He groaned, "Liv… come on."

She chuckled and turned in his lap, "I told you… I want to wear you out."

"Not fair," he smiled and leaned down to kiss her naked breasts. "How long did you agonize over paying for this hotel?"

She furrowed her brows, framed his face and looked down at him, "What?"

"It looks pretty expensive," he teased with a grin and tickled her inner thigh, "I know how you are about frivolous purchases."

"Elliot," she kissed the corner of his mouth softly and ran her wet hand through his hair, "Eighty dollar bras… that's frivolous. This… I wanted to do this for you."

He smiled, covered her hand with his and kissed her palm, "Thank you… but how long?"

She chuckled, "About three seconds."

"Really?" he smiled, genuinely surprised.

She scooted closer to him, let her hand disappear into the bubbling water until her slender fingers rested between their bodies and stroked him, "Really," she whispered and sipped from his bottom lip. "Do you remember the last time we were in a hot tub?"

"Yup," he said tightly as she gripped him firmly and stroked him.

"What did we do?" she whispered and wrapped her arm around his neck, her breast meshed with his chest as she continued to move over his shaft.

"Uh," he groaned, "uh… Liv- do you really expect me to think like this?"

She chuckled, flicked her tongue softly over the seam of his lips as she rocked her hips backward and then quickly forward until he groaned and whipped his head back. She ground into him as his chest heaved, she lowered her lips to his ear and continued to move, "I told you… tonight isn't about thinking," she whispered as his fingers dug into her hips, "It's about feeling."

"Liv," he bucked his hips into her, "please."

"No."

"Liv-"

"No- I wa-" before she could explain herself he managed to push her away, "Elliot!"

He grinned, scooted off of the step and quickly moved her so she was where he was sitting, "Kneel down," he whispered as he smiled against her lips.

"What?" she chuckled, "we're in the water."

"You won't drown," he smiled and slowly kneeled down in the water, "I want you to feel something."

"Elliot."

"Liv… you said this night was about me and what I want," he said as he gripped her hips, turned her so her back was to him.

"El, your legs-"

"The water makes it easier on me," he told her and kissed the small of her back as he gently applied pressure to her hips until she began to kneel, his tongue caressing the flesh of her back as it slowly disappeared.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, feeling his hand caress her belly under the water.

"I'm putting you in a new position," he chuckled and lifted her hips with his hand, supporting his weight against the edge of the hot tub with his free arm.

"Elliot… your legs," she whispered and groaned as he began to rub into her back side.

"They're doing just fine," he said and raised her slightly higher, "put your arms on the ledge,"

"EL-"

"Why do you insist on arguing with me?" he laughed and adjusted her arms so they were on the ledge like he wanted.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself," she whispered and looked over her shoulder at him, "I don't want you to be sore tomorrow."

He laughed, his grin sexy and full of desire, "Oh, I'm gonna be sore," he assured her and pressed gently into her body, his length sliding safely into her. Her eyes closed as she groaned and pulled herself closer to the edge of the hot tub, the difference of temperature making things all the more interesting.

"Elliot," she panted, "this can't be comfortable for you."

"I'm going to be sore," he smiled and moved slowly out of her body, "but it's gonna be worth it, when I see you break." She moaned as he slid deeper inside of her, his hand over her belly-button as he pulled her higher onto the step, "this is what you've wanted for months for, isn't it, Liv?" he whispered next to her ear.

She rubbed her bottom into him and whimpered, "You've wanted this too, El… don't act like I'm the only one."

He laughed, moved his hips in slow figure eights, "I haven't denied anything… I've wanted to be inside of you since the moment I woke up."

He moved faster, her breath hitched as the water splashed around them, "Looks like you've gotten what you wanted," she breathed and gasped when he plunged deeper into her, holding his tip against her womb.

"Yeah," he nipped at her neck, "but I'm gonna give you a little something too," he said and pulled out slowly only to push back in as he moved faster. She moaned louder, her hips moving against his, their rhythm as fluent as it's always been, his warm breath cascading against her cool chest that rested just above the water line.

"Elliot," she ground out, her jaw tight as her neck arched back, her cheek against his, "El… coming." He lifted her slightly higher so the water jet pulsed into her center as he continued to move, "Elliot!" she gasped, her hands clamping down against the marble of the hot tub as she felt the water pulse against her, heightening every sensation, "Elliot!"

He moved faster, careful to hold her just right, the jet stream massaging his body as well as hers, "Does that feel good?" he grunted into her ear.

She gritted her teeth as he continued to pump his body into hers, "So good," she gasped, her head falling forward as her fingers gripped the marble harder.

He pushed into her one last time, she tossed her head back and screamed out her release as he continued to move, her muscles gripping him tightly, encouraging him to come which he fought with every ounce of control her had. Her body grew slack in his arms and he withdrew, lowered her back into the water gently as they both continued to kneel. Her breathing still labored as he locked his hands around her waist and kissed her cheek, "If I didn't know any better… I'd say you really enjoyed that."

She laughed, still trying to get enough oxygen to make the room stop spinning, "That was definitely enjoyable."

He chuckled against her and kissed her shoulder, "Olivia… do you have any idea- I mean any idea how amazing you feel… how sexy you make me feel?"

She smiled, carefully turned around to face him, "I make you feel sexy? Isn't that my line?"

He ran his wet hand through her hair and kissed her mouth, his tongue tracing her lips, "You make me feel sexy," he whispered again and kissed her chin. "I didn't know… I didn't… my face and the scars," he swallowed hard and looked down.

"Hey," she tipped his face back up and lowered her lips to his scar, "I was kidding with you," she assured him and kissed his mouth, "It's just… you don't hear a guy say that he feels sexy very often."

"That's because I'm the only guy who's got a woman that can make him feel that way."

She grinned, "You've gotten sappy on me."

He laughed, caressed her cheek and nuzzled her nose with his, "Olivia… you make me feel so sexy."

She laughed against his lips, "Elliot… you are sexy. I've got nothing to do with it."

His smile fell as he looked up at her, broken, "You've got everything to do with how I feel, Liv… you've got to know that."

She furrowed her brow and sat on the seat of the hot tub, "Elliot… I don't understand what you're telling me. Why are you so serious?"

He smiled, pulled her leg so she slipped off the seat and was forced to kneel in front of him again, his hands holding her waist, "I… didn't know if you'd want me again-"

"What?" she shook her head, "What? Why? Why would you think that?"

"I'm not exactly a stud anymore, Liv," he whispered, his hold on her waist loosening.

"Hey," she whispered and covered his hands, encouraging his hold on her, "I'm yours and you're mine."

"I know," he nodded, "But… I just," he exhaled, "I-last month…I read my file for the first time-"

"Elliot… look at me," she said softly and waited until pained blues scorched her, "why did you read it? You said we'd do it together when you were ready."

"I… had to know… why you didn't want me."

Her face twisted in confusion, "What? I've wanted you… Elliot, I've wanted you everyday since the first day I walked into the precinct and Cragen partnered us up together. "I've wanted you everyday… I've wanted you every minute since you and I got married, and every second since you woke up… I've wanted you Elliot… why do you think I wouldn't?"

"I saw the pictures they took of me…in the hospital and after my surgeries… my body is so different now."

"Really?" she furrowed her brows and assessed him with a small smile, "You still look pretty hot to me."

He exhaled, "Why did you wait so long?"

"Huh?"

"To make love to me? I've been good for a while now… why didn't you want me?"

The realization of what he was getting at finally set in, "Oh, baby… no… no it wasn't like that," she whispered, "it wasn't."

He furrowed his brows, "Is it… because of how I look now?"

She framed his face firmly and brought hers inches from his, "You look amazing to me," she arched her brows, "I don't care about your scars… do you care about mine?"

The corner of his mouth smiled as he stroked her abdomen bellow the water, "No."

"Then?"

"But…I made love to you… the first second you would let me. You seemed like… you didn't want me."

She exhaled softly and kissed his lips, "I didn't want you to push me away… if this didn't go well… that's why I waited. It didn't have anything to do with your body."

His eyes closed, a sigh of relief escaped his lips and he pulled her tight against him, "I thought… I thought maybe, the whole Frankenstein thing I've got going… turned you off."

"Elliot," she smirked, "you're my own personal Greek god… so you put on a little weight… you've been working out and believe me when I tell you… I could feel it when you raised me up against that jet stream… El, believe me when I tell you, I'm so completely in love with you that just hearing your voice turns me on."

He grinned, "You. Are. So. Easy."

She kissed him through a smile, "No… you're just so sexy."

He blushed and looked away before looking down, "You're sure… you can handle this… all the time? You're sure, the scars won't bother you?"

She furrowed her brow, kissed him softly as she blinked out her tears, "Elliot… I love you so much. Scars, broken bones, wobbly legs and this gorgeous smile. I love you Elliot, you've got to know that."

He nodded, "I know… I just… you know… I don't really know, what I look like… I've never looked. I've felt your mouth, and I've… I've felt my uh, little Marine," he blushed, "but… my face is mangled isn't it? There were no pictures of it that I could really make it out in."

She touched her fingertip to his cheek, "Do you want to see? Do you want me to get you a mirror?"

"No."

She shook her head and smirked, "I see where Sam got his indecisiveness."

"We weren't gonna talk about the kids." he teased

"Then we won't," she whispered and wrapped her hands around his waist, "how are your legs? Want to sit on the step?"

"I'm fine… what do I look like?" he whispered, "To you… what do I look like?"

She finally realized what he was doing. Testing her. He was using his ability to know her right down to the bounce in her eyes when she was lying to him, right down to the sound of her voice when she wasn't telling the truth. He was waiting for her response, analyzing it.

Slowly, she raised her hand to his cheek, kissed him tenderly, "You're beautiful."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey," Sam rubbed his eyes, "you need to be quiet Thomas, Aunt Alex is in the shower… you don't give her any girly time, man."

Thomas opened his mouth reflexively and kicked his small legs, his fussing growing louder, "Come on man, I'm tired," Sam groaned, "Aunt Alex is tired and you cry more than Hannah does and she's a girly girl."

Thomas' cries grew louder and Sam grinned as he picked him up, supporting his head, "I read about you in the bible," he whispered and lowered his lips to the fussing boy's forehead. "Hungry?" he whispered, "Aunt Alex made the bottles like my mom does for Hannah and Solomon," he said and quickly began to prepare it.

When he was sure it was just the right temperature he sat comfortably on the couch and let Thomas latch on, "I don't think Aunt Alex and Uncle Robert know how much of a strong name you have," he yawned and smiled as the infant reflexively slapped his hand against his chest as he ate happily from the bottle. "My mom and dad take me to church… you can come too, when you're bigger," Sam said, rubbing the little boy's leg, "I asked my Sunday school teacher about your name, she said some will call you a doubter 'cause that's the guy from the bible… Doubting Thomas, but, she said that's not what it's about at all."

Alex leaned up against the hall wall and cinched her robe tight as she continued to listen to Sam talk softly to her son as he held him close and fed him. Olivia had told Alex that Sam would want to act as a big brother, but she never imagined she would ever hear young Sam talk of God again. She never imagined, after everything he'd been through that she would step out of the shower at eleven O'clock at night and hear him whispering truths to her son that she didn't even know, herself. Truths that, when they named their son, she had no idea existed. She continued to listen.

"Thomas means 'the twin'," Sam said softly. "My mom helped me look that up on the internet, and Julian means 'great', you know what that means?" Sam whispered and kissed his forehead gently. "It means you and me… we're made for big things. We're great… Isaac's great too, but in a different way… You and me? We're gonna hold our families together when things get super hard… you've already started to do that. I remember when Aunt Alex's voice was so sad, but then you came and I can hear the smile in her voice, but…now you have to learn to take away the fear I hear, too."

Alex wiped softly at a tear and slowly made her way to the boys, "Sam?" He startled and it surprised her, "I'm sorry… I thought you would have heard my steps."

"Shh," Sam whispered to Thomas who was equally startled and adjusted his bottle before his fussing turned into full blown crying, "No… I didn't hear you. I'm very tired."

"So am I," Alex smiled softly and tipped Sam's chin up, "Why will they call him Doubting Thomas? That's not strong."

Sam grinned, "You were spying Aunt Alex?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed as she sat, "I was… overhearing."

Sam chuckled, "You spy like my mom… his name is strong… don't worry."

She furrowed her brows, "I just… liked the way it sounded… why will they call him Doubting Thomas?"

"Cause that's the guy in the bible… but I think people got it all wrong."

Alex laughed, "You do?"

Seriously, Sam replied, "Yeah… I do."

Alex narrowed her eyes as her son fought sleep in Sam's small arms, "So… people who've studied the bible for years… they're wrong?"

"Not wrong," Sam shrugged, "Blind."

"Blind?"

"Yeah."

"You lost me, little man."

Sam grinned, "People get so mad at Thomas because he wouldn't believe that Jesus came back until he touched him."

"I don't know the bible."

"But God knows you."

She arched her brow, "Sam… he might know me… but he didn't stand by me."

Sam tilted his head, "Why do you think that?"

Alex exhaled, rested her hand over Thomas' belly, "He took my first baby… I thought he would take Thomas from me, too. Whose to say he still won't?"

"But…Thomas is right here."

"I know."

"Then why are you so scared now?"

"I'm not scared."

"You shouldn't lie Aunt Alex."

"I'm not-"

"I hear it in your voice… you're happy, but you're scared."

Alex exhaled, the only sounds were her son's breathing and sucking, "I'm scared, that one day… God will remember that he was supposed to take Thomas… and he will."

Sam shook his head, "He gave you Thomas… just like he gave me to mom and dad."

"Sam?"

He grinned, "That's me… the one and only, baby."

She laughed out loud and caressed his face, "You're such an amazing boy-"

"Thomas will be amazing too, but you have to stop being so scared… or he'll be scared."

"Why do you say that?"

Sam's smile shattered and he exhaled, "All the days my dad was in the hospital… I could feel how scared my mom was… every day, and it made me so scared."

"Hey," she wiped at the moisture under his eye, "your mom and dad are out having some alone-time this weekend. They're fine, honey… your dad gets stronger every day and your mother… can't you hear how happy she is?"

"Yeah," Sam smirked, "I can hear it… she sounds so beautiful and she's not afraid anymore, but dad is… late at night I wake up and I can feel how scared he is, and sometimes… sometimes I hear mom trying to make his heart not hurt. Sometimes I hear her tell him how much she loves him… sometimes I hear him cry. I hear her cry with him and it breaks my heart so much."

Alex exhaled and looked down at her now sleeping son, "Your dad," she looked back at Sam, "has come a long way, Sam… but what happened to him, it can't all go away, not over night, not in a few months or even one or two years-"

"With my mom's kiss? Will it go away with that?"

She shook her head, rested her hand on his small chest, "I'm sorry honey… not even with your mom's kiss… but you don't have to be afraid… you have to be strong for him, so he knows what it is to be strong again… can you do that for him? Can you be your daddy's strength?"

Sam grinned, "That's what I've been telling Tommy-"

"Tommy?" she smiled, "that's his nick name?"

"Yeah," Sam giggled, "it's cool"

"Yeah… cool," she smiled and rested her elbow on the cushion as she continued to gaze down at her son, "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are they wrong?"

"Not wrong," he reminded, "just blind."

"Why are they blind?"

"Because they only see one part of Thomas, they only see that he didn't believe-"

"Isn't that what happened though? He didn't believe?"

"You're being a lawyer."

She blushed, "Sorry… tell me why they're blind."

"They didn't see that Thomas made a super big faith sentence… bigger than anyone else in the bible."

She furrowed her brow, "What'd he say that was so special?"

"He said that Jesus was Lord and God… .no one else ever said that, but no one wants to see that. Thomas wasn't just a doubter Aunt Alex… he was a believer too, that's what makes him super special…just like you. Mom says sometimes it's better to be a believer when you've been a doubter… she says it makes for better evidence."

"You trying to get me into church?"

Sam exhaled, "You asked me what I thought… why did you name him Thomas if you don't believe in God?"

"I don't know."

"But your heart does… doesn't it?"

"Sam-"

"You're so angry at God, that you don't want anything to do with him, just like I didn't want anything to do with Hannah… I missed Hannah so much. Don't you miss God, Alex?"

Angry, but still calm, she swallowed, "After what he allowed to happen to you, after what he allowed to happen to Isaac and your parents, after he took my baby… I'm sorry, honey… I don't miss him… I don't even believe in him."

He furrowed his brows, reached out and allowed his fingers to touch her check, "He believes in you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That hurts!" Elliot yelped and balled the sheets in his hands.

"I'm sorry," she said kneeling next to him the morning light filtering in though the window, "Elliot… you shouldn't have did that hot tub routine… you can barely move."

"I'm just tight," he exhaled and swallowed, "That's all."

She smiled, "Does that have anything to do with making love all night long?"

He grinned, "Could… although, I plan on making love to you in about two minutes."

She laughed and stretched out next to him, "You can barely move."

"Just means you'll have full control."

She arched her brow, "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

He laughed, "I liked taking that teddy off of you…. I liked the cheesecake and I really liked the way you tasted after you took a bite, but not nearly as much as I loved making you scream on the couch… that was something."

She chuckled, "I think we got the couch all wet… we should have dried off when we got out of the hot tub… I'm not paying for damages."

"Carp asked me where I got your engagement ring," he blurted after a few moments of silence.

Her brows shot up, "You did not just bring Carp into our bed."

He chuckled, "Liv… I think he's gonna pop the question."

"They've only been dating a while… I don't think so."

"Then why would he ask?"

She grinned, "He's planning… believe me, he might buy the ring, but he's not asking for awhile."

"How do you know?" he furrowed his brow.

She exhaled, "I just know that he's gonna be overly careful with this whole, love thing… he'll be cautious with his heart."

Elliot rested his hand on her hip, "Like you?"

She nuzzled close, "Yeah…, but I like who I gave mine to. I'm happy with the decision I made."

"Carp was raped wasn't he?"

"Elliot," she pulled back sharply and furrowed her brows, "No…don't go there."

"Liv-"

"You can't ask me to reveal his secrets… I wouldn't do that to you, don't ask me to do it to him… you want to know? Ask him, he just might tell you."

"Liv-"

"Elliot," she looked up at him, "Come on… what happened to making love in two minutes?"

He grinned "Oh… you wanted that?"

She laughed and slapped his chest, "I'm out of here."

"Hey," he attempted to pull her back to him but she escaped before he could, "Come back! It's cold!"

She laughed, "Just relax cowboy… sit tight, I'll be right back."

She walked away and he cupped his hands around his mouth, "You look hot when you walk away naked!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Robert!" Sam laughed and ran to his voice as soon as the door opened, "Aunt Alex! Uncle Robert is home!"

Alex stepped out of the nursery in confusion and grinned as soon as she met her gaze with Robert's, "You're home a day early."

He laughed and closed the gap between them, a gentle kiss, "I tossed and turned thinking about you and Thomas… I ditched the last part of the conference and came home."

"Sam has been a trooper," Alex whispered into his chest and exhaled, "he got up all through the night to take care of Thomas so I could sleep… he said he had a lot of practice because Moses woke up every three hours to eat when she was a puppy."

Robert rubbed her back gently, "Why are you upset?"

"I'm not."

"Yeah you are."

She exhaled continued to lean into him, "Robert… why did you name our son Thomas?"

He looked at her in confusion, "I thought we liked that name."

"I do, but… what was your reason behind it?"

He furrowed his brows, "Al… you're not making sense."

Anger and frustration took over and she shoved him hard and pointed at him, "You rubbed it in didn't you!" she hissed.

Shocked and confused he stared at her, "Sam," Robert called into the living room, "go get the chess board ready, little man."

"Are you guys fighting?"

Alex rubbed her temple, "No baby… please go set up the board, Robert would like to play a game of speed chess before we go to the park."

Sam exhaled, "If you're gonna fight," he said making his way to the office, "make sure you kiss after… that's how mom and dad fix it," he told them and slipped into the office."

"Al?"

She shook her head, wiped at her tears, "I'm sorry."

Robert smiled and embraced her again, "Thomas keep you awake?"

"No," she sniffle, "well, yes, but… that's not it."

"What is it?" he whispered, "I came home to spend time with you… what's wrong?"

"Do you think… it's wrong to be this happy with Thomas, knowing there should be two?"

"No… we can't think that. God gave us Thom-"

She shoved him back again, hit his chest in anger, "What is with everyone and this holy god bull!"

"Al-" he whispered and rubbed his chest trying to dull the ache, "Alex… what's going on?"

"He took our baby! Aren't you pissed off at that!" she yelled and turned quickly. He followed her, surprised that she made her way to the nursery and instantly picked their son up, holding him tight, "I'm not giving Him Thomas… I don't care what you say or think, I'm not giving him up, Robbie. I'm not."

"Al," he exhaled and touched her shoulder softly, his arms wrapping around her and his son, "No one is asking that we give up Thomas… what happened while I was gone, hmm?" he asked and kissed her cheek softly as he stroked his son's back, "Tell me, Al."

Alex bent her neck to kiss the crown of Thomas' head, "I looked up a bible story Sam was telling me about after he went to sleep."

He smiled, "And? What did Reverend Stabler tell you?"

"It's not funny, Robbie," she scolded and wormed her way out of his embrace.

He took another step closer and turned her so she and their son faced him, "Alex… you're holding Thomas… like you're scared someone's gonna take him… what happened?"

"He took our first baby… God just… up and took our baby. Was it… was it because I didn't go to church? Because I made fun of Liv for going? Why? Tell me why… because, every day I try to understand why he took one to give us another and I can't make sense out of it," she sobbed.

He exhaled and carefully extracted Thomas from her arms before settling him in the crib, "Come here," he whispered and pulled her close, "Talk."

"He'll take our son."

"Who?"

"God."

"No He won't… He gave him to us."

"He'll take him."

"No."

She sniffled and rested against his shoulder. Long, silent minutes past, "How do you know?"

He wiped the tear on his cheek against her hair, "Because… when you were on that operating table, I begged him not to take him and when I held Thomas for the first time, I knew that God gave us him."

She sobbed into his neck, "I don't want to loose, Thomas."

"We won't," he assured her. "We wont. He's been home for weeks and he's healthy and he eats like a horse."

"How can you know? How can you be so sure?"

"Sam told me," he shrugged as if that were enough.

"Sam?" she furrowed her brow, "You're putting Thomas in Sam's hands?"

"Isaac and Solomon and Hannah… managed just fine in his hands, but no… I'm not putting Thomas in Sam's hands… I'm, uh… choosing… to trust…uh-"

"Trust what?" she furrowed her brow and stared at him, "Tell me."

"God," he stared back at her, "there's got to be something to Him… didn't you feel that when you held Thomas?"

She turned and looked down at her son. She exhaled and reached down to run her fingers through his soft hair, "Did you know… that Thomas was in the bible?"

"No… but Sam seems to think his name is pretty meaningful."

"He was the first one to make, as Sam says, a super big faith sentence," she chuckled softly, "Maybe… maybe Thomas will be the first to do some really big things, huh?"

He smiled and embraced her from behind, "Al… we're new parents… we're scared out of our minds, but Thomas isn't going anywhere… you know, I've been thinking about uh-"

"What?"

"Um… want to uh… go crash a… church with me? Maybe Elliot's and Olivia's?"

She exhaled and peered down at her son, "I'm not ready for that Robert… I'm not saying no, but I'm not saying yes… I'm just… trying to figure this stuff out… I uh… sort of thought that when Thomas came into our lives… he'd make all the pain go away."

"You've been so happy… what's changed?"

She sniffled, peered down at their son, "We should have two… and I'll never forget that we don't."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot's mouth fell open, his eyes wide as his wife stood with a bold smile in front of him, "This is that frivolous eighty dollar bra I was telling you about," she grinned.

His body stood erect in the short time she stood in front of him, "And those panties?"

She laughed, "Also a frivolous purchase…. Although from the tent in the sheet, I'd say they're doing what they're supposed to."

He blushed, "Uh… yeah."

Playfully, she kneeled on the foot of the bed and sat on her heels, the cradle of her thighs widening as she stared at him, "Uh… you taking these off of me?"

His brows shot up to his hairline, "Um… I don't get to see you in panties like that very often… why don't you wear those?"

"Cause they're expensive," she laughed and slowly pulled the sheet off of his body. "How come you don't go commando more often? It's hot," she grinned and nodded toward his erection, "you're hot."

He cleared his throat and chuckled, "Um… I'm pretty cold right now."

"Yeah?" she bit her bottom lip, "I could warm you."

He grinned, "I'm not arguing," he said and pulled her over him.

She felt his erection against her belly and she instantly rolled so he was over her body, "Get these panties off of me… and I'll show you something interesting."

His eyes sparked and his hands instantly obeyed her request, pulling white lace over her thighs, down her legs and finally off, before kissing his way back up her body and resting over her, "What's so interesting that I had to take those sexy undies off of you."

She laughed, "Did you just say undies?"

"Shut up, Liv," he smiled and kissed her softly, "What did you want to show me?"

She grinned up at him and rolled him to his back, she walked her way backwards on her knees, his length grazing her center before she pressed her hips into his, his erection stretching her body as she lowered herself over him, gasping as she rested her palms on his abdomen before moving.

He hissed, his fingers digging into her thighs, "Liv… please… you've got to move, I'm gonna loose it."

"You are?" she grinned up at him.

"Yeah," he breathed hard, "Please move."

She laughed, "Okay," she winked and turned her entire body so her back was facing him, she leaned forward and he groaned, sliding down the bed to stay in contact with her.

"Liv… what are you doing?" he hissed, his fingertips grazing her bottom as she bent all the way forward, squeezing her muscles over him,.

"Looking for something," she whispered when her head dipped below the bed.

"Liv… killing me," he groaned and slid down further so he could stay inside of her.

"Stop moving," she laughed. "You're gonna push me off the bed."

"What are you looking for?" he pleaded, pulling her hips as he thrust softly into her.

She gasped at the sensation and smiled when her fingertips finally found what she was looking for. She pushed herself up and lowered herself onto him entirely before putting the item on and smiling over her shoulder at him, "Like my cowboy hat?"

He sat up on his elbows and grinned before simply flopping back down on the mattress, "I've died and this is heaven."

"Na," she moved slowly over him, "this is the reverse cowgirl you wanted."

He sucked in air as she continued to move in slow strides, her hands resting on his thighs as his found their home on her hips and helped her move over him, "Olivia," he breathed her name and smiled up at the ceiling with closed eyes. "Liv," he thrust softly into her and opened his eyes to watch as her longer than normal hair spilled over her tanned back, her white bra begging to be taken off so that only the hat remained. The hat, that was driving him insane.

He reached up as she continued to move, building his foundation for an orgasm, and unhooked her bra, pushing it from her shoulders and forcing her to stop her movements so he could free her from the lace. To his surprise, she covered his hands with hers and placed them over her breast as he sat up behind her. She whimpered feeling the movement inside of her, "You have to warn me," she clenched her teeth in an effort to keep her orgasm at bay for a while longer.

"No," he smiled, "I love it when you come... it's even better when you're not expecting it."

She controlled her breathing and stayed still, her hands over his until she was certain she could continue, she squeezed his fingers over her breast and he quickly took the lead, sucking softly on her neck, "Straighten your legs out, Liv."

"That wouldn't' be reverse cowgirl, no would it?"

He grinned, stroked her center and laughed as she arched her body back, her neck leaning over his shoulder, "I've got to do everything the hard way… stretch out."

Carefully, she straightened her legs to match his and was surprised when he continued to massage her breast and lay back down, taking her with him. Her hat falling off and discarding wherever it chose to. She yelped at an entirely different sensation of them being aligned head to toe, her back to him, his hands holding her hips as he thrust into her. She reached back and held the back of his neck as he continued to move, her breast swaying in the open air, the cool air caressing her body as his warm form pulsed inside of her, "El… coming."

"No," he hissed and rolled with her so she was on her belly, he caught his weight on his hands, "don't, I'm not ready."

She balled the sheets in her fist as he continued to move, her moans spurring him on as he moved in perfect circles feeling her walls tighten around him. He could feel his own body tense as he began to move faster inside of her and then suddenly slowly, smiling at her protest before plummeting into her and simply pulling out, "Turn over," he whispered and raised up just enough so she could. He stared down at her, "You're beautiful," he grinned and wiped the damp hair from her forehead.

She reached up and touched his mangled cheek letting her fingers graze his skin and trace his lips, "Make love to me, Elliot."

He grinned, bowed his head and ran his tongue along her neck and over her nipple, smiling as she arched into him, "Isn't that what we've been doing all this time?"

She raised her head, kissed him gently, "I want to come with you… please?"

He smiled down at her and pushed into her, her hands instantly wrapping around his shoulders as his arms cradled her body, her legs wrapping around his waist, "You feel so good like this… always like this… it's so different. I love it," he told her and moved his hips to start his thrusting.

He labored over her, knowing he'd be even more sore that he already was, but really couldn't care less. He rested his damp cheek against hers, the sweat of their bodies making their efforts to grind against one another all the more intense, his grunts echoing in her ear, her hot breath against his damaged cheek, "Come with me, Liv," he said, his voice tight.

She barred her teeth, arching up and squeezing her legs as he thrust faster into her, the smell of his cologne mixing with the scent of their sex, her hand instantly finding it's way into his hair as she began to whimper, her body coiling and suddenly snapping. He continued to move, cradling her body in his arms as she broke and called his name out, her body sending him into ecstasy as he released himself into her and still continued to thrust. She arched in another orgasm. Her face buried in his neck as he yelled out into her shoulder, himself not knowing if it was bliss or pain but still moving as his strides became less and less effective. Her nails digging into his back, scraping along his flesh as she broke in another wave of satisfaction and slowly relaxed her body.

He attempted to move and she held his hips, "No… please?" she panted, "Don't leave me, not yet."

"My knees," he shook his head, "I'm-I can't stay like this."

She rolled with him and rested over him, "Just… not until you have to, Okay?"

He smiled "You like me that much?"

She chuckled, "Shut up."

He smiled, stroked her back as he felt him self start to decrease inside of her, "Pretty good for an old beat up man, huh?"

"Shut up," she whispered again and continued to rest over him. Crying softly against his skin.

He kissed her cheek tenderly, his fingertips grazing her bottom lightly and producing goose bumps over her body, her nipples stabbing into his chest, he smiled, "I can still feel your muscles."

"If you'd shut up," she kissed his cheek and sniffled, "I could focus on feeling you," she said and straightened her legs between his, giving his length a firm squeeze.

He whimpered pulled her into him, "Sensitive, Liv."

She chuckled, licked the tears from her lips, "Shh," she said and kissed him again, "I just made love to this really sexy guy and I want to enjoy the aftermath."

"Hey," he pulled the comforter over her body and combed his hand through her hair, "what's with the tears?"

She shook her head and smiled, "Nothing."

"It's something… tell me," he whispered and kissed her lips the moment his body slipped from her heat. She protested, held tighter to him and sobbed.

"Hey… this is confusing," he smiled "we're supposed to be on cloud nine right now."

"I am," she sniffled and licked the tears from her lip again, "I am… I just," she cleared her throat and kissed his chin, "I love you so much."

He laughed, rolled to his side and pulled her leg over his before wrapping his arm around her waist, "Why are you crying?"

She kissed his mouth, "I… it was like connecting with you the day we were married. Coming with you… it's intense, El."

He grinned, "The feeling is definitely mutual… but, why the sad face?"

She caressed his cheek and let her tears fall faster, "I just… I thought I lost you, I thought you were dead," she shook her head. "I thought… I didn't think we'd ever make love again, you couldn't even wake up," she sobbed, "and every night I came home to an empty bed and I was terrified and I hated you-"

"What?"

She sniffled, "I hated… that you reduced me to that, that I couldn't live without you. I hated you that you weren't coming home to me fast enough… I'm sorry."

He smiled softly and tucked her hair behind her ear, "No… no don't apologize, I understand… I wanted to wake up everyday, Liv… I did. I wanted you, needed you like I've never needed anything else."

She sobbed against him, her body in need of air she couldn't catch as he tried to sooth her. He wasn't glad she was crying, but he was glad she was finally letting herself fall. That she was finally trusting him to be strong enough now so that she didn't have to be. He buried his nose into her hair, took in its scent and sobbed instantly, wondering how in the world he could have ever went without something as simple as smelling her shower gel or her shampoo, wondering if she would have still forgot where his NYPD shirt was if he'd never woken up to show her.

They held each other after seven months of anger and frustration and fighting and laughter and pain. They held each other as if today would be their last day together, or the first day of their lives together. Another starting point only after such a bitter take off. They cried, chest heaving against chest, arms holding tight until exhaustion consumed them, breathing calmed and tears abated as bodies relaxed against each other and once tight holds turned into gentle caresses before eye lids drooped and sleep over took them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The group erupted surrounding the kitchen table where three little Stabler children stood on chairs grinning up at their mother who was holding a camera, snapping the picture just as Solomon shoved both hands into the cake and promptly covered his sister with the white icing.

"Solo!" Elliot laughed and bent between them as Olivia grinned at his feeble attempt to scold Solomon.

"Get him baby," Olivia encouraged as the group cheered him on and Solomon mashed a cake covered hand into his father's face Hannah, laughing and eventually joining in as Olivia snapped another picture of their two one-year-olds creaming their father with cake.

"My turn! Me!" Isaac grinned and jumped on his fathers back, reaching around and smearing the cake into his hair as Elliot laughed in pure delight. November would always be a time of laughter for them, a time when his kids turned another year older, a time when he witnessed Sam give Isaac a lecture on being another year older and being more responsible, a time when he would watch his wife gaze lovingly into Hannah's eyes and not be afraid of what she saw looking back.

"Somebody better hose those kids off," Casey laughed as she nudged Chloe.

Isaac giggled and yanked at his tie, "Zooooos!" he called, "Moses!"

"Isaac! No baby!" Olivia laughed and crinkled her nose as Isaac held onto Zeus's neck and allowed the dog's big tongue to clean his face of the cake. He laughed in pure delight and Olivia shook her head simply snapping another picture.

"Moses!" Sam scolded and immediately brought her close to him, "No, little girl."

Moses looked on as Zeus filled his belly, she groaned and as soon as Sam walked away she raised up to Hannah's seat and licked the icing off of her arm before Elliot sent both dogs away and grinned at Olivia who simply grinned back as their friends continued to hustle around their home, Thomas making his way into various arms as Mathew and Addison were chased by Isaac who was working on removing his clothing piece by piece.

"Hey!" Fin smacked his lips, "What's with all the love stares, we're trying to eat here." He teased them.

Elliot blushed and turned to smile at Robert, "How's having an infant treating you and Alex?"

"Good," he grinned and wrapped his hand around Alex's waist, "she makes a hot wife but I got to tell you… she's a gorgeous mother."

Elliot laughed, found Olivia's stare again as she talked with Casey, "I know exactly what you mean, man."

"How are the legs, huh?"

Elliot flexed his claves, standing on his tiptoes, "I can go a few hours without the cane. I take the boys for walks and stuff while Liv does the paperwork for the gyms."

"Hey," Donovan grinned joining the conversation, "do I get a free membership or what?"

Cragen smiled behind the young medical examiner, "Don't you have to have some type of muscle mass to go to a gym."

"Ouch!" Paul laughed, "Cut down to size by an old man… harsh."

"Old!" Cragen raised his brows, "I'm insulted."

"That's what you get for retiring!" Olivia threw across the room, "I didn't think I'd ever see the day!" she grinned as she and Casey washed down the babies and while Hannah chose to walk into the front room, Solomon was happy crawling to his father who happily picked him up into his arms and held him close.

"Are we late?" Carp entered the home and grinned with Aimee at his side three presents in her hand, "We come with gifts."

Olivia welcomed them warmly into their home, her arms around him, "Good to see you, Carp."

"Good to be here. I got books for the kids and some toys," he grinned and released her taking the gifts so she could hug Aimee.

"Make yourself at home, there's cake… you'll probably want to take from the side that the babies didn't dig their hands into," she laughed.

Carp pulled Olivia back, "Elliot told you?"

"What?" she tilted her head.

"Hey… I'm a detective… you're eyes went instantly to her hand… he tell you?"

"Yeah… why is there no ring on that woman's finger?" she teased.

"I got it… just… taking it slow, you know?"

Olivia smiled, "Slow is good, if you need it… you love her?"

"I've spent hundreds of dollars in useless toll bridge fares… just to see her smile in the morning… I love her."

"You tell her?"

"No yet."

"Coward… what happened to cease the day?" she punched him softly in the arm and smiled, "In all serious… take your time, if she wants you she'll wait."

He grinned, "Where are the three birthday kids?"

"Running around her somewhere," she laughed and waved her hands, "There's a new little one… you haven't met Thomas have you?"

"No," he smiled and immediately scanned the room, "Oooh," he grinned and walked instantly to Alex, "A baby."

Olivia laughed and jumped back when Isaac startled her from the corner, "Boo! Mommy!"

She grinned down at her naked son save his tie, "You are such your father's boy!" she giggled and picked him up, "You can't streak anymore baby, you're three now."

"Streak?" he tilted his head and smiled at her, "Love you, mommy."

She grazed his chubby check with her fingertips, kissed him softly, "I love you too… you have no idea how much, son, but I do."

"I think he knows," Elliot whispered and wrapped his arm around her waist, "I think he knows just how much we love him and how much we missed him."

She turned in his embrace as soon as Isaac wiggled down, streaking through the crowd who laughed and chuckled at the three-year-old who seemed entirely too comfortable in his birthday suit. "We've got four beautiful kids, Elliot."

He grinned, rested his forehead against hers, "And we've got a whole house full of friends that are totally in love with them."

She smiled up at him, "You look so happy," she whispered and caressed his face, "I love seeing that smile on you."

He closed his eyes, swayed gently in the hall way with her as their whispers drowned out the noise of their guests, "You've been pretty happy yourself these days."

She bit her bottom lip as they continued to dance, unconcerned with their company, "I am, Elliot… you have no idea." Elliot smiled as a knock at the door startled her, "Who's here?"

"No one," he insisted and led her deeper into the hallway.

"Elliot… someone is at the door," she protested.

"I know."

"Then? Answer it," she laughed and gasped when he kissed her, pushing her softly against the wall. He heard the door open, knew exactly who it was and smiled, "Elliot-"

"Marry me."

She furrowed her brows and smiled as she raised her left hand, "Um… I thought we already had that base covered… the IRS seems to think so every time I do our taxes."

He watched her intently, "I invited Pastor Beddingfeild to come tonight… marry me, Liv."

Her confusion was precious as she stared up at him, "I thought that's what I did when I stood on that beach in the freezing cold and told you I would."

He grinned, kissed her gently, "It wasn't that cold, Liv… and none of our friends were with us except for Casey and Cragen… Marry me… again, tonight."

She smiled slowly and turned to look down the hall at entirely too many people starring at them waiting for her to respond, she looked back at him, "In jeans?"

"Yeah," he beamed, "just like we are right now, jeans and a shirt."

She laughed, "You're crazy," she said and kissed him, "Which is exactly why I'm crazy enough to marry you twice."

The crowd erupted in laughter as he walked behind her until they were amongst their friends again, "We'll take I.O.U's for wedding presents," Elliot teased and groaned when Olivia nudged him with her elbow, "Geeze," he laughed, "Kidding."

"So you're crazy enough to marry that woman again, huh?" Carp asked with a small grin and while Elliot would probably never understand what was behind it, when Carp wrapped his arm around Aimee's waist Olivia knew precisely what he was asking, was marrying her worth everything they've been through. Was marrying the product of rape worth the pain… was it worth being done again.

Elliot grinned hugging his wife from behind, "I'd be crazy not to."

Olivia closed her eyes and rested against his chest before feeling Sam tug on his father's shirt, "Dad?"

"Yeah?" Elliot smiled and bent low to hear Sam's question.

"Can I be your best man?" he whispered in his ear as Olivia was instantly surrounded by the women in the group, Melinda reminding her that she should try to get another ring out of this. He barley heard Olivia say no, that the current one meant too much to her.

"I wouldn't have anyone else as my best man… 'cause you're the best guy I got," Elliot whispered back and stood to address the crowd, "I got my best man here," he smiled and motioned to Paul and Robert, "Get over here, I'm getting married and your holding up the show!"

They laughed with one another and then laughed even harder when Isaac peered his naked body from around the couch and grinned "Me too!" he said and quickly stood next to the group unconcerned that he was naked.

Olivia laughed as Pastor Bedingfelid, the same pastor who married them on the beach chuckled and motioned for the group to gather around, "You two have the most interesting of weddings."

"Mama!" Solomon called out and pointed up to her. She whipped around and her mouth fell open, Hannah had called Elliot Dada and Solomon seemed to be unconcerned with talking, but here, in the presence of her friends he'd pointed her out and moved his hands to be picked up. She squatted and picked him up smiling at him as he began to wiggle free again, "Indecisive, just like your daddy."

Solomon smiled at his mother and simply crawled to his sister who stood leaning against Casey's legs, "He called me mama," Olivia smiled.

"I heard," Elliot grinned.

"We all heard!" Fin laughed, picking up Addison, "Look at all of these little ankle biters we've got rolling around… and most belong to you two," he grinned at Elliot and Olivia, "the world is doomed, too many Stablers."

The group laughed and was soon quieted by the pastor, "Are we getting married tonight, or what?" he smiled.

Olivia smiled at Elliot, "Looks that way… looks like we're both crazy."

Elliot grinned down at her, his hand on her cheek, "Looks that way."

Pastor Bedingfeild began to officiate as Sam stood close to his father a smile on his lips before retreating to stand next to the other men. The pastor's words were lost as Elliot and Olivia locked their gazes with each other. Married in their living room, she didn't see that one coming. She felt him lace his fingers with hers and she smiled even as a tear made its way down her cheek. She hadn't seen a lot coming, hadn't seen falling in love with her partner, hadn't foreseen marring him, have a child with him let alone four. She hadn't foreseen being fired, had never expected Whites return, or Victor or Oliver for that matter. She hadn't foreseen a lot of things, but as she slowly looked over Elliot's shoulder, she saw the man who put his life on the line to save her son, sees the man standing next to him that lost a baby, sees Carp who is himself still a baby so wounded by his circumstance.

Mentally, as she refocuses her eyes on Elliot's and gently wipes at a tear he has let fall, she remembers the day Alex told her of a miscarriage, remembers the day she found out Casey's secrets and remembers the day she told Casey she was pregnant with Addison. She remembers Mac who has lost a child, but has brought the woman from the hospital as his date tonight and she remembers Fin who will never speak of a son everyone knows he has but is too ashamed to spend time with. She remembers all of this, remembers tears shed, smiles spent and laughter that has erupted during even the most trying times and she finds it odd that her closest friends are tied to her by the loss of a child.

She's not sure how she can feel the joy she is feeling right now when the room is filled with people who have experienced so much unspeakable pain and yet, as they have leaned on one another, as she has fallen deeper in love with her husband, they have formed a family in the truest since of the word. Women who hold each other up in the midst of sorrow, men who battle the depths of the most heinous hell to save the other, spouses who give power to one another when they are weak and children who keep them all going on their darkest of days.

She turns her head and is shocked to see that Sam is starring right at her, making eye contact with her, and as quick as a breath is used that connection was suddenly gone as if, God let her peer into her son's eyes for the first time so that, only for a split second he could get a glimpse of his mother's soul. Her tears fell freely, a smile on her lips as she barely managed to say 'I do' through her emotion.

"Mommy!" Isaac interrupted the nuptials and wormed his way between his mother and father, "Up, please," he said and stretched his naked body up to her.

She grinned down at him as the group laughed, the pastor shook his head with a grin and Elliot said his, 'I do' anyway. Olivia picked Isaac up into her arms as the pastor announced them husband and wife again and allowed Elliot to kiss her.

He closed the gap between them and cupped her cheek, "Looks like I'm not the only one in love with you," he whispered through a smile.

She shook her head softly and smiled, "Just kiss me."

He grinned, "Pleasure," he whispered and kissed her as tenderly as the first time their lips had ever touched.

She wrapped her free arm around his neck, careful of their son, heard Sam groan and declare they were sharing 'kissing cooties'. She smiled, parted her lips and kissed him deeper as their friends cheered them on. She hummed against his lips, as his goatee that he seemed perfectly content with scruffed her lips.

"Yucko." Isaac chirped and used his hands to separate their lip lock.

They laughed, rested their foreheads against one another, "I love you, Liv."

She closed her eyes, let his words sink in and opened them to see him smiling at her, "I love you, too. Immeasurably."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's so late," Olivia groaned, rubbing her neck.

"Well," Elliot grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her mouth, "we had three birthdays and a wedding, and a sick little boy who ate too much cake-"

"Sam looked at me," she whispered into the quietness that fell seconds after their last guest left only an hour ago. Their children tucked safely in their respective beds.

"What?"

She licked her lips and looked up at him, "I can't explain it, Elliot, maybe I'm crazy, but… he saw me, it was for a split second, like maybe God allowed it, but he saw into me and I saw into him… and it was beautiful."

He smiled down at her, "That's amazing… I wish I could have seen that."

She beamed and wrapped her arms around him, "Dance with me."

He nodded, "I was sort of hoping you ask me too… I got music this time," he smiled and reached for the remote, turning the stereo on and tossing the remote to the bed.

"What is this?" she asked when her ears couldn't identify the music.

He grinned, "I've got no idea, but it sounds nice, doesn't it?"

She leaned her head onto his shoulder and smiled, "Yeah… sounds good."

"So… did you want to know where we're going for a honeymoon?"

She pulled back in pleasant surprise, "For real?"

"Yeah… I owed you one."

She grinned, "Can we take the kids?"

"Did you actually think I was going to try and separated you from them?"

She laughed, "Where we going?"

"I was thinking we'd go…wherever you want. Pick and we'll go."

She grinned, caressed his face, "You're serious?"

"Yep… pick."

"I don't know."

He smiled, "Think about it and let me know?"

"Yeah," she nodded and smiled at him, "I love you."

He nuzzled her nose with his as the music continued to surround them, and suddenly, despite the pain that still crept into his bones, knowing his kids were sleeping safely in their rooms and he was holding his wife in his arms, his world righted itself as their bodies slowly danced and swayed with one another.

She nuzzled her nose against his, her eyes closing slowly as she pursed her lips to kiss him, to invite him to kiss her back as the late November night continued to encourage the caresses of their fingertips. She parted her lips and kissed him, running her tongue along his teeth before circling the tip of his tongue softly. His hand tangled in her hair as hers caressed his face, her thumb running softly over his scar and for once, as dogs slept, children dreamed and a couple danced to unfamiliar melodies, fear had no place where lovers tread.

The End


End file.
